#self har

[manimstarvin]

Warning fresh cvts

#self h@rm #self har #sh #self mutilator #tw cvtting #cvtting board #red ink

[quinnsocks]

Make up sfx

TW fresh cuts!!!

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#self har #cvtaddict #sh

[the-blackbird-murmuration]

Tw: sh, implied suicidality

Kinda just stopped sh'ing bc I lost sight of why I was doing it.

In the last two days I realised that I truly have no one but myself and that I will probably never find anyone and will just end my life as soon as I can. Think I'll probably relapse today

#toxic household #self h@rm #sh #self har #sh urge #toxic parents #tw suicidal

[getkilledy]

How bad it is to take pills with alcohol?.. Im just tired of everything fr..

#might kms #sorry for being depressing #kill my life #this is depressing #suicudal #self har #self h@rm #ready to kms #lol kms #kms kms kms #end my life #depressing post #depressing shit #kinda depressing

[yvonne0928]

to wszystko wraca, nie chce tu byc ani chwili dłużej.

#self har

[khruschevshoe]

You know, it's rather interesting to me that Taylor Swift's parasocial relationship with her fans is honestly more akin to a YouTuber than a writer's. When I scroll through her tag on tumblr/Twitter, it's far more regarding the connection to her personal life/relationship developments than the actual metaphors/fictional story she might be telling. Everything comes back to how her songs reflect back on her relationships with Joe/Matty/Travis/Jake/insert ex-boyfriend here. And what fascinates me about it is that even though she complains about it, she leans into that very perception because it strengthens the parasocial bond.

The marketing for TTPD so clearly being about Joe Alwyn and the songs to Matty Healy. The marketing/video for Red TV so CLEARLY being about Jake Gyllenhaal, with so many of the new lines in All Too Well specifically being digs at him (I'll get older but your lovers stay my age, casting an actor that looks like him for the video, specific lines in I Bet You Think About Me). The fact that songs like Getaway Car and Bejeweled and Gorgeous and London Boy and Lavender Haze being picked apart at time of release and long after for signs of relationships crumbling. The way she uses surprise songs in relation to her relationship development with Joe/Matty/Travis. The damn TTPD "stages of grief" playlists where she deliberately undid/changed the meanings of old songs just to keep her audience speculating on her love life.

It's not sexist to point out that her wielding her love life is a marketing tool and that the strongest connection to her audience isn't the strength of her writing/the composition of her music- it's her deliberate crafting of a connection between her music and her personal life, leaving the audience invested in her music as an extension of Taylor the Person/Girlfriend rather than Taylor the Artist.

#taylor swift #anti taylor swift #to an extent #i honestly just view this as an analysis of her marketing strategy #like hates off to her for being the best possible microcosm of parasocial capitalism #girlie really knew how to harness the teen girl market and good for her billionaire self #she knows how to exploit the very tabloid culture that once strangled her #how to become the tabloid itself #and wield that against ex-boyfriends too but you didn’t hear that from me #joe alwyn #matty healy #travis kelce #taylor swift critical #ttpd #red tv #i bet you think about me #getaway car #bejeweled #gorgeous #london boy #lavender haze

[sacrificethelamb]

matching with cinna <3

#shibari #self tie #hip harness #ropebunny #ropeplay #pastel rope #soft aesthetic #my pics

[ropesbypatricia]

Let's tie my favorite hip harness for self-suspension + the top vote of my recent diamond hip harness poll: The Diamond Back

This build is a sort of hybrid between a Swiss seat and a hip harness and it's my go-to for extended aerial play. It can be modified easily to accommodate different body shapes and sizes and it's an amalgamation of many different builds I've studied over the years from many great minds in rope

1-3) To begin, I will tie a single column tie (SCT) around my low waist - I can begin with my bight on either side of my body

*take note of which side your bight enters from*

4) I have secured my SCT in line with my belly button using a Somerville bowline, you make whatever SCT you prefer. I pull my SCT downward in a slight V shape

*whichever side of your body you started with your bight to build your SCT, that is the same direction we will begin tying our first leg wrap*

1) I make my first leg wrap nice and high running just beneath my butt cheek in the back

2) I friction over and behind my hip lines and my diagonal leg line exiting toward my crotch and approximately 1/2" from my SCT knot

*experiment with the placement of this friction for your individual comfort*

3) To adjust the tension in my leg wrap, I feed slack behind me with one hand and receive it in the front of my body with my other hand

4) I pull my working lines downward eliminating my transferred slack

5) I make a second wrap of my leg tracing below my first wrap

6) I friction up and over my leg lines, exiting toward the outside of my body

1) I equalize the tension in both my leg wraps and move over my inner leg wraps

2) I move behind my leg stem

3) And I move across my leg stem, ensuring I compact down all of my frictions

*you can see I've created another intentional upside-down V shape in the angle of my leg bands, and this will allow for more freedom of movement in my hip flexor*

4) I added another rope in another colour for clarity, and I mirrored my pattern on my other leg, exiting across my front and utop the last friction knot of my first leg to encourage it to stay nice and compacted

The next element we will build is a booty rope bridge which will capture both my leg wraps in a munter hitch

1) I run my line along the lower half of the space between my leg wraps and waist wraps all the way around my backside, and to the opposite side of the front of my body

2) I run my lines from tip to base of my finger, at the front of my body where I can better see what I'm doing

3) I shift my tensioned line back and under my butt cheek

4) I cut across my butt moving lower than my previous band

5) I move from tip to base of my finger again at the front of my body where it's easier to see what I'm doing

6) I slide that line back under my other butt cheek

7) I move up diagonally across both of my standing booty lines

8) I friction over and behind both lines exiting towards my crotch

9) to complete my munter hitch, I move my line from tip to base of finger again, exiting toward the front of my body

I take time to equalize the size of my booty bridge loops by adjusting my munter hitch, as well as flattening my leg wraps so they lay nice and flat like bands which will be much more comfortable when we take this harness into the air later

2) I move straight across the front of my harness running right above my previous pass

3) I continue to trace my previous wrap to the back

4) I make a simple twist around the top of my booty bridge friction moving my lines from tip of finger to base

5-6) I exit above my standing booty bridge band, pulling up slightly to maintain tension, exiting toward the front of my body

1) I added another scrap of rope in a third colour for clarity, and I continue the build by moving directly across the front of my harness again utop my previous pass

2) I make a half hitch (HH) around my booty band placing it in my natural gluteal divot

*experiment with placement of your HH here for individual comfort*

3) I tension my HH by pulling slightly upwards as I exit diagonally up toward my hip lines

4) I capture my hip lines with a simple twist, pulling downward into another slight V shape, I exit beneath my opposite booty band to create a mirrored HH on the other side of my butt

5-6) I maintain firm tension and pull these bands upwards slightly before completing my second HH and exiting toward the front of my body

1) Now we will perform a very tight weave and create a reverse half moons friction to incorporate our mid bands securely into our front harness bar. To begin, I move across the front of my harness running my lines above all of the previous passes

2) Weave from tip to base of finger

3) Continue behind the other side of my hip lines from tip to base of finger

4) I carefully cinch and compact the top of my half moons friction, careful not to overly tension my top midline pass as I cinch, and ensuring I don't accidentally nip up flesh or clothing in my ropes as I weave

5) I move over all of my midline bands, and under my leg stems following tip to base of finger

6) I carefully cinch and pull my working lines away from my flesh and leggings

7) continue behind my other leg stem moving my lines from tip to base of finger

8) I move over all of the midlines again, and back under my hip lines following tip to base of finger

9) With my half moons weave completed, all I need to do now is finish with my rope ends

1) You can finish your ends as you see fit, here I'm simply splitting my working ends and running one is them through my original SCT bight

2) half a square knot

3) the second half of a square knot

4-6) a look at the completed diamond back hip harness

Click here for a video guide to tying this harness as well as a look at how it maintains during transitions in suspension

If you give this build a go, I would love to hear about it! Feel free to tag me here or on any other platform we're grooving together on ❤️

Knots of love from me to you 💋🪢

#shibari #rope #self tie #rope tutorial #kink education #suspension #diamond harness #learning the ropes #hip harness #pictutorial

[theminecraftbee]

incidentally, for anyone wondering about the current state of me playing vault hunters: I’ve been playing on a server with some friends for a few months and am level 89, have several absurdly expensive endgame items unlocked, and am going “I mean I technically don’t NEED a fission reactor, but I feel like there’s a point in every bee’s life where really, why not harness the unlimited power of nuclear energy?”

#vh talk #it seems this playthrough my self-imposed endgame goal is ‘make an obscene power grid’ so THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING #I can ALREADY generate way more power than even with my mek factories going I really NEED #but I’ve heard the digital miner is expensive and that’s my next long grind target #besides. it’s not about practicality. It’s about HARNESSING THE POWER OF THE ATOM #you understand.

[samuelroukin]

“do it badly” well what if i want to do it goodly. what then

#tried to work on my soap in a harness drawing. self confidence stocks took a major hit it must be said #ben.txt

[manimstarvin]

Hii! I used to be @manimfucked but I got t-worded. Trying to find my moots back

ED and SH tumblr reblog this pleasee

#self h@rm #self har #ed not ed sheeran #sh #mealspø #mealspi #mealsp #mealsp0 #mealspo #malespa #ana stuff #ana trigger #anarec1a #tw ana diary #tw ana diet #tw ana relapse #tw ana shit

[the-blackbird-murmuration]

Ib student of 2023 - HATE THIS I HATE MYSELF - THIS IS HORRIFIC. I DROPPED SO MANY MARKS FOR THE EE AND TOK AND FOR WHAT????? I'm a NOBODY with these grades. Everyone had such high hopes and THIS???? WHAT ABOUT MY PGs???? Istg the ib is on something this year seriously is this what my 13 years of education have come to????????

I'm cutting tonight, I hate everything

#ib diploma #ib results #m23 #may 2023 #international baccalaureate #tw self harm #self h@rm #sh #self har #sh urge #hate myself

[m1d-45]

duality of man

summary: foul legacy only bends to childe’s will, he isn’t fully controlled by him.

a/n: foul legacy speaks in bold, childe speaks italicized. internal/mental speech is quoted ‘like this’ rather than simply italicized for the sake of childe, as tumblr does not have underline capabilities :/

word count: ~2.1k

-> warnings: spoilers for childe lore / liyue archon quest, childe is his own warning (and is frequently bloodthirsty and strange), violence and gore, it/it’s pronouns for foul legacy because it’s childe’s pov and also i said so, imposter sagau things. technically isn’t 100% canon compliant according to wikipedia.

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky

childe stalked through the forest, the foliage tinted by foul legacy’s vision. this form wasn’t the best for stealth, but it would help him find you faster.

he could hear your heavy breathing from the corner you backed yourself into, and grinned.

“surrender is a valid option,” he purred, voice warped and distorted through the heavy mask. your breath hitched, and his smile only grew. he had you. all he had to do was reach, reach with the clawed hands of his abyssal form and drag you out of wherever you’d hidden and he’d earn his place at his gods side. to be the one to find and kill you was an honor, one he was not keen on giving up.

he could imagine it now. dragging you along with his claws sunk deep into your neck, whatever blood left in your body staining his hands. your corpse would fall, lifeless, at his god’s feet, and he’d be the one to reap the rewards of their love.

you would not escape. he would not leave empty-handed.

he couldn’t.

childe tried to reach for the bush you were hiding behind, but his arm wouldn’t move.

no, not his arm, he realized. it was disobeying.

‘what are you doing?’ he hissed into his mind, pushing with all his might. still, the arm of foul legacy wouldn’t move. it was strange; it had never disobeyed before, and aside from the initial period to get used to piloting a body, he’s never had any issues.

‘i cannot allow you to kill them.’

‘what? why? if you want to have a hand in it, i’ll let you have a while to-‘

‘no. they are not to die.’

his arms moved of their own will, moving aside the branches much slower than he would have.

‘i refuse to allow the death of the one who made me.’

what?

the leaves eventually reveal you, tucked in as small a space as you can manage, holding a broken-off spearhead. your clothes are tattered, leaves caught within the creases. your hand is shaking so badly childe doubts you could hurt anybody but yourself with it.

your mouth opens like you want to say something, but nothing comes out. a thrill runs down childe’s spine at the fact that they’ve scared you from words, but it’s quickly overrun by the concern coming from foul legacy.

wait… concern?

“your grace… how ruined you have become.”

your eyes flick between the pearl of its eye and the hand, likely trying to decide which is a better target, and childe wants to laugh. he wants to urge you to strike, to watch as you fruitlessly spend your energy bashing that spearhead into foul legacy’s armor, blunting the steel against it.

the devouring deep doesn’t let him speak.

“please… i’m sorry.”

normally, hearing somebody beg for their life would make childe’s day, week if they do it prettily enough, but this… some part of his heart, as beaten and rotted it is, hurts.

whatever sadness he feels quickly burns into rage. what right did foul legacy have over his emotions? making him pity this imposter, as if you weren’t fit to die the moment your treacherous tongue claimed you were somebody you weren’t.

“i know, i know.” legacy’s claw extends and you flinch, feet kicking up dirt as you press yourself further against whatever rock you’re against.

“stay away from me!”

foul legacy hums a low note, and childe wants to scream as his hand falls to the dirt. what power did you have over it? why didn’t it just take whatever it was it wanted from you?

‘why are you hesitating?’

‘you wouldn’t understand.’

the first sensible thing it’s said. he didn’t understand.

“it is alright. i am not the one you fear.“

“yes you are! i… i know you, childe.”

childe allowed himself a smile. no matter how much foul legacy pushed aside his commands, it would always have to deal with his reputation. the fact that he disrupted its plans just as it did his brought him a little joy from the situation.

“i am not him, leading light. please… do not be afraid.”

‘leading light’?

childe had heard many names and titles for the divine creator in his time, and knew that that one in particular was favored by abyssal creatures. he’d heard it shouted and screamed, people slaughtered in the name of the light that they claim leads them from the abyss. he even adopted it himself, at one point, for the first few years after he was freed from it himself. he’d killed with the title on his tongue, and ripped out others’ that dared to dirty it.

all of this to say that foul legacy was claiming you were the divine creator.

you. you.

you, who dared to walk with a face that wasn’t yours, to gaze with eyes that didn’t belong to you. you.

he could admit that he didn’t sense the aura of the creator—with a bitter, sour tongue, but admitted nonetheless—due to his time spent in the abyss. his soul was too rotten to resonate with theirs, only able to find solidarity in their violent retribution cast down on those that dared cross them. he acknowledged that he was beyond saving, that even the highest of the high could barely begin to fill the gaping maw of the abyss inside of him. he’d… not accepted, but come to terms with it.

but even he did not dare to call another by their name.

“you’re… you’re what?”

“i can hear him.” foul legacy’s hand extended once more, slower, gentler, with much more care than any other action childe had seen from it. “he is in my mind, but we are not the same. i can promise, while i am here, no harm will come to you.”

you didn’t trust it. good, as childe was starting to distrust foul legacy as well.

“you… you’re saying you’re…?” the spearhead in your hand lowered, some of the fear—regrettably—fading from your eyes. recognition flooded instead, and childe was confused as to how you found comfort in a creature of the abyss. he knew he had a reputation, one stained with violence and blood, and surely that would extend to it as well, right? foul legacy… it couldn’t be more trustworthy than him.

“i am his foul legacy. i am the devouring deep.”

its clawed hand finally reached yours, and you let it close around your wrist even as hesitation shone in your eyes. your lips parted, but whatever you had to say died before it spoke again. “please… can you find it in your heart to trust once more? if only for me, if only for a moment?”

childe tried once more to take over the form, and was again met with the stone of foul legacy’s will. he huffed; it shouldn’t be getting this close to you, and he shouldn’t have to watch as it did. it shouldn’t have even disobeyed in the first place.

“why don’t you hate me?”

foul legacy sighed, the sound warped and roughened by its mask. “this world- no, these people are fools. do not hold the mistakes of the many in your heart. they do not understand the weight of their actions. they are being pushed, puppetted by another.”

‘what are you talking about?’

‘hold your tongue.’

childe was in shock. first it went against him by taking over his actions, then it claimed you were the sacred creator, then told him to shut up?

you were sitting up, carefully daring to come closer, and childe beat at the boundaries of his will with all his strength. he couldn’t let this go on any longer. he could take being disobeyed, he could take his anger out on some innocents with its hand once it was tired enough to give him control, but for it to disrespect his god?

he could not- he would not let that go so easily.

childe pushed at his arm with all his might as foul legacy sat itself on the floor, tugging you closer. he sent the command to move at least a thousand times, begging his own hand to squeeze, to snap the bones in your wrist, to show any sign that he still had control in this body.

the most he got was a twitch of the ring finger.

he refused to allow foul legacy to take him over like this. he could not let it shatter his reputation and attack his beliefs like this. it could not say that you were his god, it could not say that it was in control, it could not say that childe was wrong. it should not hold you will claws that should kill, and you should not gaze so deeply into the pearl of a monster’s eye.

it was almost as if you could see him within it, your searching eyes piercing right into his. he hoped you could, that you could see how much he hated the situation he found himself in. how much he hated you, you for warping his foul legacy’s mind, you for making it think you were it’s god.

“how long do i have?”

“hm?”

“before he comes back.”

childe tried again to assert his presence. he failed.

you shifted closer to foul legacy, sitting against its side. part of childe wanted to laugh at you, at the fact that you dared to lean on a creature of the abyss. part of him wanted to sneer and call you pathetic for it.

the same part that knew it was fruitless even as he tried to follow through on it.

foul legacy put its arm around you, pulling you into its side. the glass of its eye bumped against the top of your head, words of reassurance buzzing in its head.

childe huffed to himself, feeling his anger start to bubble again. there was no reason for this behavior. there was no reason for foul legacy to try and influence him by bleeding their thoughts together, nor for it to subject him to this. even it should recognize the creator, even if by context clues from the people around it.

and if this was all a trick, childe could accept it. if foul legacy had whispered into his mind, told him that yes, it knew, it believed, then he could tolerate the attacks against his god. he could bite back his words and let legacy do what he did best: follow orders.

if this was a ploy, childe would be fine. but foul legacy’s claws never dug into your side, and the whispers it spoke were not of retribution, but of reverence. how he wished it would just obey, even if not his orders but theirs.

follow the orders of the true god, who was in their palace, waiting for their trusted followers to capture and kill you. sitting, waiting for your corpse to be tossed at their feet, waiting for their loyal followers to carry out their word. the true creator, their god, not you. not you, not any other fake that dared to imitate them, and not those that behaved as foul legacy did here, following the impersonators and claiming they were real.

foul legacy hissed in his mind. ‘still your traitorous tongue.’

‘i won’t! if you took a moment to even think-’

‘and if you paused to allow yourself to do the same, you would agree.’

he did think, he had plenty of time to think when foul legacy was- was almost cuddling you, the warp of its voice doing nothing to mask the affection within it. he can’t move, he cant take control, and it has the gall to say he should think? all he’s able to do is think! he could sit here for an eternity, listening to the quiet rumble of legacy’s voice, mulling over every action he has or could taken, and he still wouldn’t be convinced. he wouldn’t agree. all he would be is sore, tired, and angry.

and of all the ways he could spend his time… he could fight for eternity, he could hit at the boundary between their brains with mental fists that never tired, he could give himself a headache with how hard he tried to dig his hand into your side. he could plan out his revenge against foul legacy, he could start to draft the prayer of repentance he’d surely have to raise to his god, he could do so much and yet precious little.

and that beast wanted him to think?

inside a body that wasn’t his, childe screamed.

#sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #childe #sagau childe #tartagila #sagau tartaglia #foul legacy #sagau foul legacy #genshin #sagau impostor au #foul legacy x reader #sure why not #‘This power has no relation to his Delusion’ shut the FUCK up wikipedia #it’s MY fanfiction and I get to choose the canon. #foul legacy is somebody he learned to harness through his delusion #i don’t give a shit if it’s a ‘talent’ or ‘skill’ and that legacy ‘isn’t a sentient being at all’ it’s called storytelling #words cannot describe how much i hated editing this shit #let ALONE porting it to tumblr. actual hell. #editing to montero by mr nas x. this is the lgbt experience /hj #fuck it i’ll post this 12 hours before i’m meant to. if god has a problem with it he can kill me himself. #i should not have done that. Regret[TM] #post once every 4 days or twice within 6 hours. this is my curse; this is my burden; this is the eternity i am doomed to face

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #persona 4 #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #EVERYDAY IM HOWLING. EVERYDAY IM SCREAMING. #for context this comes at the heel of yosuke charging at mitsuo kubo in rage because of his flippance towards killing saki and he's hit har #but souji and kanji jump in to protect him #like ok a lot of things going on here such as the obvious OH MY GODDDD yosuke being yosuke and taking things on for himself #because he doesn't want to bother people?? because he's made it his own responsibility? because his survivor's guilt is still lingering? #i mean don't tell me he doesn't look at how he surrendered to his shadow like apart from his self-sacrificing propensity #i low key feel like everytime yosuke demands answers about saki's death from the murderer/god/etc there's this undertone of how #he would rather it have been him #he cheapens his own life so much and for what #BUT ALSO!! ALSO!! not just souji jumping in because we know he would he's down bad for yosuke BUT ALSO KANJI #listen you've all heard me talk so much about how i adore kanji yosuke friendships #i can't really tell whether it's kanji or souji that says “haven't we earned your trust yet” but it's a line that hits SO HARD #regardless of which one of them was saying it and i think it hits hard in slightly different manners #it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want #tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!! #and this stands out because kanji is very conscious of social hierarchies and such but as a kouhai as yosuke's junior #he's so specific about wanting yosuke to treat him as an equal #i smtimes feel bad for kanji because he has a bit of that vibe of a poor puppy trailing after souyo because he wants to be in their convos! #he wants to be included! but critically he also just! wants them to SEE him!! #going a lil off tangent but i think kanji's attitude towards souji is very much one of kouhai respect like he understands his place #of like deferring to souji or getting advice from him and just generally regarding him as a reliable mentor #and it's the same with chie and yukiko? but idk man. with yosuke. guys. with yosuke i always feel like kanji wants to break that hierarchy #that convention. that social norm. to cross a line and be closer to yosuke. #he's more willing to tease yosuke in a way he doesn't with the other 2nd years. and this isn't coming from a place of disrespect either #AGAIN. KANJI REALLY LIKES YOSUKE. he wants to protect yosuke!!! he jumps at the opportunity for yosuke to rely on him!! #i'm getting delulu but there's those hints of “yosuke senpai i want you to see me as a man!!!” kind of energy here and i'm it's yknow hmm

[crowsongart]

VENT ART

sorry for my horrible hand writing qwq ill put the dialogue here if someone won't read in:

M "You look not ok." N "Damn. Really? I couldn't tell." M "..." N "Sorry Mooncake.. I shouldn't have snapped like that." M "It's fine. You look tense too." N "...Yeah...I am... very tense... tired too... Shouldn't you already know that?" M "I wanted you to tell me yourself." N "...Can I have a hug?" M "Of course Star.. You don't even have to ask." "Shouldn't you already know that?" N "...Shush" M "har har~ All jokes aside, you're gonna be ok." I guess in those hard times for me i wanted to have a bit of wholesomeness in the end to not make it too dark. Both Sun and Moon are my comfort characters so it's fine to imagine stuff like that. Kinda cheesy but it makes me smile. Either way, hope you enjoy those pieces. Have a good rest.

#moondrop #vent art #fnaf security breach #naptime attendant #moondrop x self insert #self insert x canon #idk why but i like for moon to say har har #art #ill be okay #i promise

[sacrificethelamb]

#pentagram harness #shibari #ropebunny #ropeplay #self tie #spooky cute #spooky girls #gothic coquette #vampirecore #fantasycore #dark aesthetic #my pics