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#see anything wrong with what you said or did; that's fucking hurtful;
manheeiim · 2 days
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love hurts - rafe cameron
summary: in which you start to doubt rafe's love for you || warnings: drugs, mentions of overdosing, toxic relationship, reader slaps rafe, manipulation || genre: established relationship, angst || word count: approximately 1370
Lately, things have been rougher than usual between Rafe and you. I mean, sure, things were always kind of rough between you guys, but lately it'd been a bit more.. noticeable, if that makes sense.
He wasn't home often. When he was home he was often in a bad mood. You guys barely went on dates anymore. He wasn't texting you as much throughout the day the past few days either.
You were pretty much just left alone at home, lonely, while he went out to work. You knew that he was only out so much because he was working so much, but you were just tired of it lately. And truthfully, the working so much isn't what really bothered you, it was his lack of outward attention to you when he was around lately due to his bad moods.
Rafe had gotten home from being out working today, in yet another obviously bad mood so it wasn't a shock to you that shortly after he'd gotten home, he was sniffing up some coke to make himself "feel better".
You never really liked him doing coke. Any drugs really, but coke especially, considering how addictive it was and how obviously addicted he was. You were constantly worried that one day you'd come home and you'd find him dead from an overdose. It scared you.
You talked about how you didn't like it several times but Rafe only brushed you off. He did a lot of things for you but this was one thing he wasn't giving up, at least not any time soon.
You didn't really like being around him when he did coke, leaving the room when you saw him taking out the baggy with the white powder in it. He was fine with it and didn't bother you about it.
So, when you walked into the kitchen, you weren't exactly planning on him doing coke on the counter. You held your breath as you slowly walked over. When you walked over and lightly held onto his arm, he didn't even flinch as he continued slowly sniffing up the powder. It was when you spoke that he got annoyed.
"Rafe..." You quietly said and he already knew why you were saying his name.
"Y/n, don't." He said as he put his arm that you were holding onto out in front of you, lightly pushing you away as he went back to snorting the drugs.
You pouted, looking at him, watching as he slowly killed himself. You looked at him for a few moments before you lightly slapped his arm in annoyance.
Rafe looked up at you annoyed, "What's the problem?" He asked.
"You don't care about me." You whined and he just furrowed his eyebrows. Before he could even say anything back, you left the room, going upstairs to your guys' bedroom.
He stood in the kitchen, annoyed at what you said and also annoyed that you'd just walked off before he could even say something. He took some deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down before he went upstairs after you, wanting to ask what the hell that was all about, even though deep down, he knew.
You're sat on the bed, your knees curled up to your face as you wrap your arms around your legs and softly cry. You really were starting to feel uncared for and unloved by him. You're startled by the sound of the bedroom door opening and you look up to see Rafe coming inside. You looked away from him as you continued to cry.
"What's wrong, Y/n?" Rafe asked, trying to hold back but you could easily tell that he was really frustrated right now. You don't say anything as you look away. "Y/n, look at me." He sternly said and you looked over at him, sniffling as you wiped your tears.
"You don't care about me anymore." I said with a red face and pouty lips.
Rafe's eyebrows furrowed again as he closed his eyes for a moment, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked.
"You're barely home anymore, all you do is work. You barely even text me or call me throughout the day when you're out. When you're around, you pay no attention to me. I swear you hate me or something." You complained. Rafe let out an angry sigh at your words as he rubbed in between his eyebrows. "I mean, do you even love me anymore?" You then went on to say.
That was his breaking point. "Hey!" He loudly shouted. "Hey!" He shouted again, not as loud. "Watch your mouth." Rafe told you. "Of course, I love you, don't say something stupid like that ever again." He harshly said.
"No, you don't." You quietly said back.
"You don't know what the fuck you're saying." Rafe said. "Y/n, I work so much because I love you. I mean, we need money to survive, don't we? You want all those stupid clothes? Then, I have to work. I know that it's been more than usual lately but sometimes there's just times like that, there's nothing I can do about that." He told you. You let out a small sigh, you guessed he was right.
"I get that, Rafe, but when you are home, it just seems like you don't even care that I'm around." You said.
"Oh, so I'm the bad guy here because I'm tired after working all day long to provide for us?" Rafe asked.
"No, I never said that." You said, exasperatedly.
"I'm just tired out, you understand that, don't you?" Rafe then asked.
"I know, I just.." I trailed off, silent for a few moments. "You never listen to me when all I'm doing is caring about you." I said.
"I'm listening right now, Y/n." Rafe told you, letting out a sigh.
"Well, there's something you never listen about." You mentioned.
"Yeah? What's that? What are you going to complain about now?" Rafe then asked.
"I don't want you to do coke anymore!" You said.
"Here we go..." Rafe said, clenching his jaw as he sniffed.
"I know you're not going to listen to me but I'm scared all the time. Scared that I'll find you dead sometime!" I said, crying.
Rafe just looked at you. He wasn't going to give it up that easily and seeing you like this did make him feel bad, because, well he loved you. He always felt bad when you talked about this, but he was too self-involved to not make a change or even try to make a change when it came to drugs, not yet at least.
"I just.. I want you to know that." You quietly said, breaking the silence, as you cried, wiping your tears.
Rafe let out a sigh as he paced around the room a few times. You watched as he brought the palms of his hands to his eyes, holding them there, something he always did when he was frustrated and/or about to cry.
You hesitantly stood up, you don't know why you did, but you did. You then got up and went over to him. He slowed down, stopped, and looked down at you, removing his hands from his face.
You didn't say anything as you wrapped your arms around his muscular body, resting you face against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close to him as possible.
"I love you, Y/n. I don't want to hear you saying that I don't again. I do, I always will." Rafe softly told you.
"I'm sorry." You apologized.
"I'll.." there was a few moments of silence, "I'll try and be better when I'm home with you. I shouldn't be working as much as I have soon. I just have to get one big project done and that's it, then it'll be like before." Rafe said.
It was rare for Rafe to apologize and say things like this. He only ever really apologized to you.
"I love you, Rafe." Was all you could find the words to say in response.
"I know you do, Y/n." He softly said. "I love you too." He then told you.
-- link to my masterlist
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mhahaikyuus · 2 days
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Hair
wc:; 1.4k
tags: black reader x katsuki, newly established relationship (still trying to keep up the illusion for your partner), black reader doing her hair, emotional reader, Katsuki being the rational calm boyfriend, fluffy, cute ending.
a/n: i skimmed barely proofread sorry for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.
“I can come over tonight?” Katsuki asked on speaker of your phone. 
You two spent everyday together since he had confessed to you by shoving flowers into your hands and running off before you had a chance to respond in slight shock. 
“Uh I’m busy tonight sorry.” You said watching yourself in the mirror studying your scalp distracted. 
“Okay what about tomorrow?” Katsuki grunted unhappy he would spend time away from you. 
“Tomorrow I'm busy too, i can’t hang out this weekend.” You said eyeing the thin black plastic bag filled with beauty supplies sitting on your vanity. 
He frowned, you always told him about upcoming plans you had. At lunch always rambling about whatever you wanted and him listening with small grunts and nods. You didn’t mention anything before about plans. 
“What are you doing?” He asked. Not wanting to pry so early into a relationship and scare you off. He had plans to make you his permanently but he was nosey. 
“My hair,” You answered honestly.
“What do you mean your hair? It takes that long?” He asked confused. 
“Yeah, it does. I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of hours sometimes a couple of days.” You admitted with a sigh already dreading the process. 
Katsuki sat there on the other side of the phone with a small sigh of relief. You weren’t blowing him off with anyone else, just your hair. He had no idea about black hair but he knew he cared about you and that meant this was important. 
“Do you need help?” He offered making you silent in surprise widely blinking at the phone. 
The man that would tell his partner in the field to fuck off when he asked. Was readily offering you his help. 
You let out a small laugh, “I do but I don’t think you know what that entails. It’s a really long process and it’s tiring. Im okay though thanks for asking.” 
He just wanted to see you. After spending every day together for a month, he doesn’t know if he could go 3 days. 
“Alright the offer still stands if you change your mind. Don’t tire yourself out.” He sighed and you both said your goodbyes. 
You fiddled with the ends of your hair with a huff. 
“Let’s get this over with.” 
~
You wanted to ram your head into a wall. Staring at half your head being braided, 10 hours down and probably another 7 to go. 
Your back hurt, your arms hurt, your head hurt it was not ideal. Not eating all day and getting irritated at everything you were in a mood. 
Throwing the rat tail comb from your hands on the floor you flopped onto your bed in tears needing a break. 
Your phone began buzzing, face still in the mattress you reached around til you found it and pressed answer button. 
“Hello,” You answered muffled 
“Hey how’s it going?” Bakugo asked 
You sniffled pulling your head up tears running. 
“It’s fine.” 
Bakugo heard how upset you were causing his forehead to crease, “What’s wrong baby?” in a softer voice. 
“It’s nothing it’s just my hair and i’m tired and cranky and i haven’t eaten all day. I’ve only done maybe half of my head and i want to stop.” You said through tears. 
“Hey, hey please stop crying it’ll be okay.” Katsuki said trying to soothe you through the phone but it wasn’t working. Noticing a twinge in his chest at the sound of your soft sniffles.
You left out small huffs trying to control your breathing, “Yeah…sorry I should go you don’t want to hear me crying. Sorry to bother.” You realized you were probably scaring away the one guy you did like with your hysterics. 
“No I didn-“ 
“I have to go thanks for calling.” 
Katsuki stared at the phone feeling his stomach sink. 
~
You cried until your eyes were puffy and reluctantly went back to braiding your hair. You were so impatient and tender headed but you would not spend 200+ dollars on box braids. 
After about an hour you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to your boyfriend with a bag of takeout and one from the pharmacy. 
You yelped in surprise slamming the door just as fast as you opened it. 
Katsuki was very confused and kind of hurt at your reaction. 
“Y/n! What the fuck come on.” He yelled from the other side of the door. 
Your face held such embarrassment, hoping this was a figment of your imagination. 
Your boyfriend was NOT here when you looked like a hot mess. 
Your non-black boyfriend at that. 
This is a nightmare. 
“What are you doing here!” You yelled back through the door. 
“Baby you were crying and I haven’t seen you in almost 2 days!"
You groaned, “You can’t see me like this! you have to go home.” 
He grunted in annoyance, “You better open up. Im not leaving when you were crying.” 
You were silent waiting for him to go home and he wasn’t budging. With a sigh you opened the door peaking out at him. 
“Are ya gonna let me in?” He asked with raised blond eyebrows and pretty crimson eyes.
You opened the door and stepped aside. 
“What’s wrong why are you slamming doors and crying?” He asked looking down at you as he entered your apartment.  
You slowly closed the door behind you and leaned back against it. 
“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” You admitted thankful that you didn't blush noticeably.
“Baby like what.” He sighed dropping the bags on your coffee table and bringing you in close. 
Your head fell into his muscular chest, smelling his cologne.
“My hair.” You mumbled into his shirt.
He pulled back and used one hand to push back your hair to see your face. Your hair is in sections and a half-braided mess. 
“I like you and your hair. So will you calm down please?” 
“Really?” You asked with teary eyes looking up at him. 
“Yes, I do.” He reassured his hands gently holding you, his main goal to calm you down from this tired anxiety driven mood.
“Okay.” You mumbled head falling back into his chest. 
He rubbed your back, “What’s going on?” asking again. 
“I stayed up all night and im not even halfway done. I have a headache.” You mumbled in tears. 
Katsuki led you to the couch and made you take a seat. 
“Take a break. You look hangry and I brought food.” He said propping you in his lap and handing you takeout. 
You finished your food and leaned your head in his neck. Your headache stopping. He was right as usual, you were hangry. 
“I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face that was mean.” You said wrapping him in a side hug. 
His hand rubbed the side of your thigh with a light kiss on your nose. 
“It’s okay, ya didnt break my nose with the door slam.” Katsuki said making you laugh.
“Can I?” He asked gesturing to your head and you nodded. 
Katsuki’s thick fingers touching your blow dried hair. 
“It’s soft.” He said with mild surprise, “Like really soft.” 
You laughed, “Yeah I do have soft hair, but so do you.” Reaching up and lightly tugging on his spiky blonde hair. His hair was getting longer in the back. It may be because he loves your hands all over him and especially his head, giving you more hair to yank. Just a theory of course you would never say to him.
He grunted, “You feel better?” 
“Yes…” You nodded as he smiled knowing what he was gonna say
“Crying over the being hungry?” He teased showing his canines with his smile and you rolled your eyes. 
“Shut up.” 
“I’m just saying.” 
“Are you discriminating against a black woman?” You squinted but Bakugo had heard that before. 
“I just came over here with food to stop your crying and got a door slammed in my face.” He said with narrowed eyes matching your own.
“Uh fine.” You sighed, “Can you not be a good boyfriend so I can call you a bigot.” Your hand trailing up his stomach under his shirt, wanting skin to skin contact.
He pinched the inside of your thigh making you yelp in pain in response. His head deeply buried into your neck just enjoying your touch
“Ow…”You whined rubbing the bruised spot. 
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barleyalive101 · 21 hours
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Don’t you guys wonder how rhaenyra felt seeing alicent birth sons easily while her moth struggled, I’m not saying she wished to see alicent struggle but I’m saying she might have felt some sadness to her mother , some bitterness on her mother’s account seeing alicent having son after son healthily while her mother only had her ,seeing alicent doing the thing her mother couldn’t do.
I wonder if rhaenyra wished to be a boy , then she would have been enough, her father wouldn’t push for a son , her mother wouldn’t have died , everything would have been better ( Viserys would still want more kids as it’s risky only having one but he wouldn’t have been that insistent ,perhaps a break between the pregnancies )
Can you imagine having your best friend that knows how much you love your mother , how it saddens you she died trying to birth the “male heir” , how much it hurt losing her , how much it hurts even more that your father will have to marry , marry someone who’ll replace your mother, turning out to be the replacement, Be the someone who your dad will marry after you told her everything, turns out to be seeing your dad behind your back a few weeks/months after your mother’s death.
I know Viserys must marry but marrying Laena is different than alicent , cause rhaenyra doesn’t have a strong bond with Laena (show ) , it doesn’t feel personal like a break of trust. Having someone whom you cared about rise and take your mother’s place.
Alicent didn’t even have the decency to tell rhaenyra before the council even , alicent knew viserys choice , she made sure she was the choice by otto’s orders , Alicent at that moment didn’t treat rhaenyra like a friend , she was like everyone else.
Side note : Viserys also should have told rhaenyra beforehand , she’s his daughter not some lord to find out at the council. He wasn’t exactly a good dad to rhaenyra either. He wasn’t even there for her after he killed her mother , the first thing he says to her after her mother’s death is about the prophecy like really that’s what you are opening the conversation with ? , After not talking to her for soo long , then he comes in blaming daemon , “you weren’t there for your niece”, well where were you for your daughter ?.
One extra thing viserys never questioned why the fuck does the hand of the king ,Otto fucking Hightower has spies watching his daughter and brother? Spies he hasn’t ordered being put , why is he stalking the royal family, it ain’t his business unless viserys makes it his business, when was it the hands job to have spies without the king’s knowledge?
Back to the main topic ; So Alicent’s betrayal is waaay worse than rhaenyra’s supposed “betrayal” , Rhaenyra doesn’t owe alicent anything after the move alicent pulled , alicent betrayed first keep that in mind , before you say “well Otto forced her to do that” , how is rhaenyra supposed to know that , alicent didn’t say anything and afterwards we see alicent undermining rhaenyra by ordering the bard away ,reminding her of her position above her then after the fiasco with daemon , alicent comes in talks shit about the targaryen customs , ( after she’s married to one , hypocrite) basically dissing on the entire family tree , throws some heavy accusations at rhaenyra, barley letting rhaenyra talk and Rhaenyra didn’t lie to her she said daemon didn’t touch me ( touch in this context means sex not kiss cause even Otto says it as sex ) which is the truth, she didn’t lie , she just didn’t give her full details and why would she , alicent is no longer her friend, she’s her queen as rhaenyra was reminded beforehand.
Funny thing , Like a fool I honestly expected alicent knowing rhaenyra did it with Crispin , would prove that rhaenyra didn’t lie about daemon,that Otto was wrong but no alicent turned into a mega bitch, who constantly sought out to ruin rhaenyra’s peace , out of jealousy, even though Rhaenyra didn’t hurt her.
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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levi-dayne · 2 months
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silly little vent in the tags
#i really miss him and it's not fair how much i gave to him every day when i had to beg for attention back#i don't get why this always happens#it's every single person every single time#and they always tell me i was the best person they ever dated and i made them realize what being loved feels like or whatever#but i always end up more damaged#it feels like people think the way i love is like an apology from the universe that they can just take all of without reciprocating#instead of another traumatized person with feelings also trying to get what they give#it's so exhausting and frustrating i just want to love someone that loves me back#and they all say they do and tell me how great i am but they never listen when i communicate what i need and i have to beg#and they expect praise for the bare minimum#i asked him what he does for me and he said 'i was there to support you'#do you want a medal?? you SHOULD support your partners and your friends#and they all acknowledge that when the roles are reversed#what really fucks me up about it is when i see how they treated their exes#why not me?? what did i do wrong??#and they say i didn't do anything and that i was the best but no one acts like it#im so fucking tired of this it hurts so much#like i know for a fact my other ex legitimately saw me as his reward for persevering through rejection#when can people start seeing me as an equal to them that also wants to be loved and valued and needed?? it's not fair#people keep taking advantage of me and how caring i am towards them and it sucks#im losing hope once someone DOES treat me right i won't even trust it#personal posts 😌✨️✨️#tw vent
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borderlinegerard · 14 days
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i am the poisoned blood running through my tired veins
#my posts#personal#ITS SO MOT FUCKINH FAIR.#since he hates me now i dont care if he sees this and im pretty sure i fucking blocked the reat of them so idontfucking care#i hate all kf them so much and i dont fucking care how bad they hurt. i hurt too#for some INSANE REASON i was the only oke that had to apologize. why did they never apologize .#they know they hurt me. He knkws he hurt me.#when j say this they think im selfish. they can think what they want.#byt jts fucking crazy to act like im the only one tjat did anything wronh#i fucking admitted i was wrong. but it wasnt enough. notjing is ever enough for them!#if He ever tries to text me again im not responding. it was stupid of me to respons.#i wonder what he would say if he knew that i chose ro respond by chance of a coin flip#if it had landed on tails i wouldnt be making this post.#he cares more than i do. i dont have the luxury of caring.#he says “i led him on” but if he wanted skme speicodx kind of love fucking say skmething#i didnt knkw i was supposed to be differenr. if he had said that from the dtart i never would have agreed.#i didnt want to change for him.#he shouldve been different and he shouldve been better#i shouldve been too. but atleast i can admit ghat#what the fuck do you mean when you say you understand why j do what you do and uou get it so deeply#but then you still leave. does rhat mean you understand how much you hurt me that first time#it barely hurts anymore. but i cried four times last nigjt#now i dont feel it and now i dont care. youll never knkw little i can let myself care#ill distract myself until i forget all about you because i csnt let myself feel any of this#i dont care if im not changjng the way you begged me to. thats not an option rigjtnmow#im still fighting to stay alive. i dont know that you understand what thats like#you say you get it. i tjink you just say that#you loved me and i dont like that. i warned you and you dwatted my warning away#how is that all my fault.#how is all of this my fault.
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pepprs · 2 years
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in my despera (despair era)
#purrs#talked to her about everything and uhhh. i think she simply cannot compute that being a mom is about more than feeding your kid and bringing#them stuff when they need it (not that that isn’t important or real or anything ofc) or that she has hurt me in ways that run to the deepest#parts of myself. i think i did a good job keeping things civil and not being inflammatory like i usually am but everything i brought up she#refuted by pointing out something that i did wrong which i would then address / explain and apologize for and own up to and then when i woul#would point out stuff she did wrong she would just deflect w my own wrongdoings or change the topic or whatever. lol! and i told her she#night love me but i don’t think she likes me (hashtag ladybird) and she said that that was hurtful to hear but i explained why i felt that w#way and then she did nothing but continue to exhibit the same behaviors that make me feel disliked and quite frankly unloved by her so um.#lol and lawl and lel i suppose. the absolute hopelessness of it. she is never going to understand or change. there are the most basic things#in the world that i need from her which are also the hardest things in the world to ask your own mother ofr and i couldn’t even bring up the#favoritism thing bc everyone was around LOL but um. wow! she does not understand how she is hurting me and nothing i do or say will get#through to her. this will continue and worsen ♥️ i do not feel better i feel worse ♥️ every day brings a new reminder that she is emotionall#unavailable and unwilling to even try to be nurturing in ways that will impact me for the rest of my life ♥️#delete later#the energy it took not to start crying during that and now im too tired. what a fucked up day it’s been#like it’s as if i didn’t even say anything. she is like i pretend i do not see it <3#also she was like i had these same kinds of fights w my father but i realized what counted was that he was always there for me and i eas#like you’re not wrong but also… maybe that at least partially explains why you are an emotionally unavailable parent! lol!
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the-acid-pear · 1 year
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Killing my dad with a rock arc
#luly talks#you ever see a man who doesn't understand anything at all#ohh bc my bringing up was bad SO WAS MINE#I'M A SELF MADE PERSON MY MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME MY FATHER WASNT PRESENT BUT FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK#my head hurts so bad#everything is about him he thinks thinking about a person is all there is to caring about someone#hmhmmh mh can't even cry anymore#he had the audacity to bring up me dropping out and then made it about HIM about how HE was involved and how HE had hope and about how HE#HE HE HE THAT'S ALL THERE IS#NEVER IN A MOMENT HE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW *I* FELT THEN TELLS ME TO MY FACE I DROPPED TO PLAY MY VIDEOGAME#AND I KNOW HE SAID THAT BC HE WAS ANGRY BUT WHEN HE WAS INTO A GAME AND PLAYED ALL DAY AND WANTED TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL DID I EVER SAY#SOMETHING NEGATIVE??? NO I FUCKING DIDNT#THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOW ONE WAS RAISED BECAUSE ONE IS AN ADULT WHO'S BEING TOLD WHAT HE'S DOING WRONG AND YET AND YET !!!!#anyway i went for a walk outside and it was sickening the sounds of my shoes on the floor were so high abd loud...#i wanted to walk shoeless but i thought that was a bit too far i already was chewing something with my hand close to my mouth#head low eyes fixated on a singular point#i looked very not normal is what im saying i looked stereotypically not normak#which is good for if anyone wanted to steal from me i look like the kind who would stab you on the throat w a pen#i also wasn't walking i was waddling#bc the aforementioned shoe issye#yeah we are having a day today folks
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emmyrosee · 2 months
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Sukuna hates how petty you can get when you’re fighting.
There is a part of him that loves your stubbornness, sure, like when you huff at him and make him work for your affection, but right now, you’re on day three of the silent treatment, and he’s losing it.
You enter a room and he’s already in it, you leave. You’re talking to yuuji and he comes in, you stop talking immediately. You haven’t been staying the night anymore, and you haven’t given him a kiss goodbye any time you’ve left. Even his ma is questioning what he did wrong, and he can’t give her a concrete answer.
He’s losing it.
Hes spammed texted you, he’s been trapping you in rooms by leaning in the doorframe, he’s been trying to get yuuji to be his messenger, but nothings working. You’re not biting.
“You’re over complicating this,” yuuji shakes his head and thumbing through channels. “Literally just apologize.”
“At this point I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for!”
“Well they’re on their way over, thinking you’re going to apologize, so you’d better figure it out.”
“You’ve been an immense help, thank you, asshole.”
As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door, and when Sukuna takes a deep breath and answers it, you nearly spin on your heel to leave.
“Oh I don’t think so,” he snips, grabbing your hand and pulling you in the house and trying not to focus on how you’re not even fighting against him, and that’s how indifferent you are to him. “We’re talking. Like it.”
“Hey dawg!” Yuuji cheers, clicking off the tv and waving. You wave back, your streak of not talking in front of Sukuna continuing. The younger chuckles, “I’ll let the adults duke it out. See ya!”
The room fills with silence as yuuji leaves, making Sukuna immensely uncomfortable. The way you’re looking at him has him uncomfortable, you’re making him so uncomfortable, and he just wishes you’d toss your pride to the side and talk to him and cuss him out or something.
“You look… good.”
Nothing.
“I’ve missed you.”
Nada.
“I made out with someone else because I got sick of you ignoring me.”
You scowl at him.
“Okay, I was lying. I was hoping you’d cuss me out.”
No dice.
“You’re acting like a fucking child!” He takes a deep breath in to try and ground himself, and you merely watch him with a hurt expression.
Okay. That didn’t help his situation.
“Fucks sake,” he grumbles, making a move to guide you backwards. He’s got you backed into a wall, hands on your shoulders while your arms stay nonchalantly crossed.
“I don’t get why you’re so mad at me; what did I even do?” He snaps, leaning close to your face threateningly.
You blink unamused.
Oh.
You’re gonna speak alright. He’s gonna make sure of it.
“Speak.”
You merely look him up and down and turn your head.
“Talk! Now!”
You let a tired exhale through your nose pass.
“I said i was sorry, and i know you know that was hard for me, why am i still being punished by you?” It’s bait to make you mad and talk, he knows he hasn’t apologized to the most sincere of his ability, but he hasn’t done anything wrong.
“Maybe I’ll tickle ya, how about that?”
That, does, have your eyes widening but you still don’t spare him a breath. He smirks, “I’d bet you’d hate that, huh? Holding in all that laughter and begs for me to stop, knowing I’m not going to until you talk to me… and I’ll do it too. You know that.”
You merely cross your arms over your chest tighter.
He shrugs, “you asked for it.”
And he’s gotta say, he’s impressed with how little you’re fighting back from him scooping you in his arms and tossing you on the couch, straddling you, even taking your two wrists in his massive paw and holding them above your head. Your lips wobble in anticipation, and he’s got you booked now. “Any last words? A quick ‘I hate you,’ maybe?”
You blink, bored, almost calling his bluff, and he comes up to smack his face in frustration. He wasn’t actually bluffing, he did have full intentions of making you scream, but he was so sure you’d crack under his gaze, even a quick kick to him as he was adjusting your body.
No dice.
With a shrug, hands come down quickly to tickle the meat of your ribs, settling in the dips and scratching at the bones maddeningly. He sees your lip become wobblier, and he smirks down at you. “Nothing? Not even a giggle? You must be pissed at me.”
You screw your eyes shut to ignore him and he clicks his tongue, “now you can’t even look at me? That sucks.”
He leans down to nibble at your neck and ear, whispering little words against your skin to make you squeak. But it isn’t until he cheats and uses his mouth to blow a raspberry on your sensitive neck, an area he’s so used to pressing loving kisses to, that you finally crack.
“YOURE SO CHEAP!” You scream, followed by a flurry of laughter and struggling from his tight hold. Your laugh is whiny and desperate, feet digging into the couch while his fingers merely slither up and under your arms.
He smirks against your skin, “gotcha.”
“Fuck off!” You squeal, tugging as hard as you can in his grasp. “Stohop it!”
“Are you gonna keep ignoring me?” He asks. You shake your head back and forth, but he cocks a brow. “Is that a no? Are we going to talk about your issues with me, or am I going to have to tickle you for the next few hours?”
“HOURS?!” You howl.
He shrugs, “you ignored me for three days, least I deserve is to tickle you until you sob.”
“I wasn’t-“ you’re cut off by a flurry of your own giggles. “This isn’t-“ a few more yowls of your laughter when he digs in more. “FUCK OFF!”
“Nah,” he snickers. “This is more fun.” He does, however, stop his torment and pulls back, but he does look down at you impatiently. “Speak,” he echos from earlier.
You let out a few more titters slip past your lips, but you do sober up slightly, “you don’t even care that I was mad at you.”
“Uh, I was about to tickle you until you died, I think I cared too much-“
“No, Sukuna. You just didn’t want me to be mad. You never apologized and you never even bothered to try and make it better…”
This, oddly, has Sukuna’s heart twisting, squeezed with emotions and realization that he did mess up, pride couldn’t save him now and if he wanted to fix this, he’d have to prove it.
He sighs in truce, “I’m sorry, babe.”
“….”
“What?”
“That’s it?”
He rolls his eyes, “what else do you want me to say?”
“I want you to care that I was hurt!” You whine, raising on your elbows. “I want you to understand I was hurt, that you messed up! Not be so prideful and not admit it!”
“Alright, alright, jeez,” he groans. He locks eyes with you, and he knows you’re not going to like it, but he leans down to kiss you, using his two hands to cup your jaw, letting his thumbs stroke your bone lovingly. “I’m sorry. It must’ve sucked having to deal with my shitty ass apologies before. I never should’ve pulled that shit, and I hated not having you by my side.”
This, has you softening.
He presses another kiss to you, “I missed your laughter. I missed you scolding me. I missed you being sarcastic… don’t pull that silent treatment shit again, will ya?”
You hum happily, “don’t piss me off and I won’t have to.”
He blinks unamused, and as the thought of tickling you again crosses his mind, you lean up to kiss his lips giggling softly in the warmth. “I’m kidding. You and I both know you’re not going to stop pissing me off.”
“Love when you answer your own demands,” he chuckles.
The tightness in his soul loosens as you submit to his affections, and he does make a mental note to never piss you off so bad again where you go back to happy to never talk to him again. He hates it more than even he knows, drags him down and he feels like he’s missing a crucial part of himself.
But it is good to know he can get you back out of that funk.
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abyssalpriest · 10 months
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22y/o me's "i really want to take some sunflowers down to the ocean for (the Storm Mother) to apologise for everything I've ever done because she hates me and I'm disgusting and I just want her to be ok... I'm not supposed to go near sunflowers bc they're related to her but I just want to apologise and make it right and nothing else ive done has succeeded in that" vs 26y/o me's "I want to buy sunflowers for myself because I deserve it and they remind me of her but fuck it, mine now, and I want to visit the ocean w Storm Mom for fun and spiritual purposes bc we're close and she never hated me, I don't even need to think about that" fight
#ramblings //#man i really cannot put into words the weight of being drawn to someone but for basically 5 years youre made to feel like even thinking#about them or saying their name in your head is bothering them. and they hate you and think youre disgusting because...#you made comments about a video game character being attractive.... and she never apparently forgives you no matter what#and the same people who are telling you this are like ''oh im so sorry i mean i kinda understand where you were coming from but#you were kinda gross about it'' like. hearing ''yeah she still really doesnt want anything to do with us because you were gross and shes#way above you and a god and you just really fucked it up'' every time i even thought her name... that wasnt even her name come to find out.#To not even be able to THINK of her in my own head because that was a transgression and she could hear it so if i ever did it accidentally#i was just being bad again and hurting her again and again and again. my very thoughts themselves against me.#it was a harsh 5 years but anyway im just really thankful that. hey whats up storm mom youre chill af and we get along great#and now i see why they were obsessed w making sure i didnt connect with you bc like#partially you saved my life lmfao#storm mother //#and a lot to be said about how we just could never get in contact for Some Reason with (their code word for Leviathan & Hermes)#(as well as others but) like.... for some reason my ex had such Deep Knowledge of his cult shit but couldnt get into contact#with Leviathan or the Storm Mother or Hermes around me............................................ weird.........................#almost like when they saw what my ex was doing and saying about them they would realise shit was severely wrong..........#diary //
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zombienarc · 1 year
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-
#‘b’ and I got in a pretty big fight last night. he wouldn’t consider me over and over again so I snapped and started beating on him.#He tried getting me back so I just started get more pissed and starting biting him; punching him in the face-#- I even took my phone and started smashing him in the skull with my phone because he came up behind me. He started gushing blood.#I had to pretend to care so he didn’t freak out more. Gave him advice on how to take care of it. I’ve had my hair share of hurting someone-#- enough that they bleed so I genuinely didn’t feel anything and was prepared to assist.#Idk why these people think that I’m not a good fighter. I think fast under pressure; I’m a quick draw; I’m strong.#He’s getting kicked out of the place he was staying out and it serves him right to try to attack me and talk to me the way he did.#Again.. I have to pretend to care but really I’m laughing. The universe always works in my favor. I don’t want to be angered into that-#- again. I have things to accomplish. So tonight when he started trying to blame the whole thing on me I just don’t him I’m leaving him.#He responds with ‘okay. be done.’ and I just open and don’t respond. Infact I start doing my workout routine. I’ll turn my power into-#- something that’ll benefit me.#I most certainly got my last lick in. He’s currently having symptoms of a concussion#Lines in his vision. Almost fell down from dizziness. Headache. Now he has to rehome his dogs because he’s getting kicked out.#What a shame he had to try me ‘just to see if I’ve changed.’#After he noticed I wasn’t going to try to fix things he texted me back saying ‘I hate this. I hate this.’ I replied with-#- ‘Then don’t disrespect me. If you manage that we’ll be just fine.’ Then he said okay and I have to do the same.#I agreed but honestly.. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want especially if you bring nothing to my life and shit on me. Do better. Do more.#Like I told him ‘I don’t care what others think I should do with myself.’ So he can jump off a bridge with how wrong everyone would-#- think I am. I truly do not care. That is my power. Me first. Always.#grey god#b#Don’t mind the typos.
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helluvapoison · 2 months
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Feelings
imagine being another fallen angel and experiencing lust for the first time
Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
18+ only, minors DNI
warning: nsfw but no smut, slight but unintentional corruption kink,
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
Unlike the other emotions, this one crept up on you slowly. It lied in wait most of the time, only revealing itself around Lucifer. Truthfully the feeling came so infrequently that you didn’t think to worry about it, forgot about it even. Then his hand would linger on your waist or he missed your cheek, placing a kiss on your neck and a tiny flame ignited deep inside you. You accepted his stammered apologies but the feeling did not.
The warmth itself was uncomfortable solely for the reason of being new, it never hurt! Not like this.
“I think I’m hurting again.”
The calmness of your voice shouldn’t have alarmed him but Lucifer jumped to action before you finished talking, worried eyes scanning you over as they always did. Without hesitation, he took your hand when you were close enough and sat next to you on the couch. Little did he know his touch on your knee scorched you.
“Where is it this time, darling?”
“Here,” You unabashedly gestured over your stomach.
Lucifer’s voice pitcher higher, cooing,“Hungry? I can have Alfredo whip you up—“
“We don’t need to bother Alfonzo. I’m not hungry.”
His brows pinched together in confusion.
“But you said..?”
“Here.”
You enveloped his wrist and guided it up your thigh. About an inch away, where the warmth bloomed stronger with his touch, as if drawing him near, Lucifer snatched his hand away. His pupils shrunk to slits, wings audibly popping out as he jumped. His fingers that had almost grazed you had stretched and closed taught, remaining a fist.
“Oh! Oh! Oh shit.”
His reaction pulled a downright pitiful expression from you. Lucifer drew in a deep breath, calming himself and folding his feathers away. Awkwardly, a different kind than what you were used to regarding him, he sat back down. You couldn’t not notice how far he sat from you, how he folded his hands in his lap and refused to make eye contact. Hell hadn’t made a liar of you yet; you were hurt by this.
“I-I don’t think I can help you with this one, sweetheart,” Lucifer swallowed thickly, curling a finger into his collar and tugging on it, “I-I-I don’t even think I gave Charlie ‘the talk’! That wouldn’t be…”
You tried to be patient, stars did you try, but while he took his time you were being burnt alive from the inside out! You knew you needed something from him and he was unfailingly the answer. Lucifer had never denied you before, outright or not.
“You said you felt everything down here,” You pointed out.
Leaning in on your hands, you tilted your head and searched for what he refused to share. His face blushed brighter and harder than before. Embarrassment wasn’t right. It almost looked as if he was praying for an escape.
“You’re ashamed?”
Lucifer blew a raspberry, crimson slits darting all around, deliberately avoiding where you sat, “No! Nope, no shame over here!”
If not him… then perhaps it was you? Could you drive the King of Hell to shame? Surely not, how arrogant of you to even dream of it. Yet the question rolled off your tongue before you could stop it.
“Have I done som—“
With a jolt he sits up rigid and serious, desperately trying to keep what little distance remained. You were a breath away, staring into his eyes with such adoration it made your problem that much harder to ignore.
“You haven’t done anything wrong. This—This is just… I can’t be the one to help you with this.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help.
He did. Desperately so. Disgustingly so.
He could sink his claws and teeth into you right fucking now and make you feel better— better than better! It was heart stopping, the idea that he could be the one to show you what pleasure is like actually made him breathless. Fuck, how he wanted to see how your face when he brought you to your peak. Your moans would be a symphony to behold, his name on your lips would be his new favorite song. The thought of being your first and only clouded his mind with desire.
He would claim you truly if you’d have him. And the look in your eyes told him you would.
But would it be right? Lucifer’s had plenty of experience, he’s not worried about disappointing you— however you regretting him afterwards? It might kill him.
“But I want you to,” The sincerity in your voice sent his heart racing, “It only happens around you—“
“You—“ Lucifer chuckled nervously, shaking his head, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Briefly, you shot him a warning glare before softening your expression. You cautiously grabbed his hips, slowly so he could deny you if he really wanted. (Never again.)
“I know what I’m feeling. I know you’re responsible.”You counter slyly, maneuvering him into your lap, “I know I don’t want it to go away.”
Lucifer swallowed hard on nothing, staring obviously at your lips as you spoke with lidded eyes.
“I thoug-thought you said it hurt.” He choked.
“I’m starting to understand why. I need you—“ His breath hitched when you ground up against him, holding him firmly in place to feel his hard on, “—to do something about it.”
Clutching your shirt like his life depends on it, he whines. You’re putting his restraint to the test.
And he’s about to fail.
“Please? You’re always so good at making me feel better when I’m hurting, Luci.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 22 days
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How they’d react to you kissing their cheek unexpectedly…
Boothill: seeing as how his face is the only part of him that could actually feel your touch, something he had disclosed with you in confidence and away from preying eyes.
So the moment you pressed a kiss to his cheek, Boothill melts, it was in this moment where he realised how truly touch starved he was ever since acquiring a new body. It made him hate it even more then he already did for he couldn’t experience the joy of holding your hand, having you pressed up against his chest, nothing.
He couldn’t feel none of that and he hates it so fucking much.
He hated the fact that he couldn’t feel you kiss his fingers or feel you press yourself again his back in a hug, nor the kisses that he could only imagine being pressed there, not to mention the times where you would nuzzle your face into his neck for he couldn’t feel that either.
‘Please.’ He pleads when he felt that you were about to pull away, desperately grasping at your waist that he couldn’t feel the flesh of, pulling you back into him. ‘Spare another one of your sweetest kisses for me darlin’?’ He asks in dire need of you and your kisses.
‘I’d happily give you all the kisses you could ever want.’ You replied and Boothill truly believed that you must be a saint or something because how could someone like you be with someone like him? It just doesn’t make sense.
‘Then we’ll be here for a long while sweetheart because I want them all, so don’t you go given them to anyone else, ya hear?’ He says and you only gave him another lingering kiss to his cheek, making him tighten his hold on you.
‘Then shall we get started?’ You asked with a smile.
Aventurine: ‘oh. What’s this? Kissing my cheek without warning me beforehand.’ He gasps as he holds a hand to his heart. ‘How scandalous of you.’
He’d act like your affection has no real effect on him but the faint blush scattered across his cheeks told a very different story. A story that said that he wasn’t use to your tenderness and affection towards him, that he doesn’t deserve you nor your love and that hurt you deeply.
‘It maybe scandalous to you but to me, I just want to show that you’re more than worth every bit of my affection, and just know that nothing anyone will say can persuade me into thinking otherwise.’ You told him and cheeky smirk upon his lips softened with the rest of his face.
‘You…you mean that?’ He says meekly. ‘You’re not joking…are you?’
You pressed another kiss to his cheek, letting it linger there before pulling away. ‘I’d never joke about how much you mean to me, I’m not that heartless or cruel. I adore you my darling, sweet Kakavasha.’ You answered him truthfully. ‘So if you allow me, I can show you just how much I adore you.’
Aventurine didn’t say anything at first, still wondering after all this time if he was really worth everything you’ve done for him, but one look in your eyes and the blonde knew he had his definitive answer. ‘Please show me just how much you love me, make me forget about the voices in my head that make me second guess my worth and just make me yours with every kiss.’
Argenti: thanks you for the cheek kiss before reciprocating with one of his own.
You pout. ‘I’m meant to be spoiling you in affection right now.’
Argenti cocks his head to the side, confused. ‘Why should I allow you to bless me with your kisses and not reciprocate them? Wouldn’t that seem…selfish of me.’ He asks.
‘No it wouldn’t.’ You tell him as you held his face within your hands. ‘I want you to be selfish and let me smother you in affection without feeling the need to do the same becuase you do that enough as it is on a daily basis.’ You stopped to rest your forehead against his forehead, rubbing your nose softly against his own. ‘So please just let me show you how much I care for you and thank you for being you, my sweet knight.’
Argenti sighs, allowing himself to think it over in his head. He didn’t like being selfish, it felt wrong for him to be self-indulgent when he could be the one giving you the affection, but after some time he has finally come to a conclusion. ‘Alright, I willingly concede to your wishes my star, I shall be selfish with your love.’
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miserycanary · 1 month
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MY HELL FOR YOUR LOVE ᡣ𐭩
♡⃛ ‘A Fixed Heart in Your Hand' alternative ending
pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & fem!reader
synopsis: alternative ending because I feel bad for hurting y'all
tags: hurt/COMFORT, fluff
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"Sir? Sir!”
Ghost flinches as he realizes he’s been spacing out, the florist now looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Are you going to buy something or not?” she snaps, motioning at the display of bouquets. “Uh, yeah. Give me something with hyacinth and baby breaths,” he mutters, handing her a 100 bill. “Hyacinth? Never thought I’d see a day where a man knows a different flower aside from roses, tulips, and sunflowers,” the vendor chuckles, arranging the flowers neatly and covering them with a brown printed paper tied with a twine. “Ah,… if I know something, it’s about her.” The florist smiles, handing Ghost the bouquet and his change while saying, “Well, I can see that you love her dearly.” With a soft smirk, he replies, “That I do.”
You’ve always had a love for flowers. Going as far as to even beg him to make you a flower bed. Ghost didn’t like doing physical labor with him already getting beat from training at the base, yet when you flashed him that smile (and gave a toe-curling blowjob), how could he refuse? Since then, flowers as gifts have been rare between you two. Instances where he’d give you one are when you’re on a terrible period day or during milestones (the flowers coming from the patch he secretly planted months before).
It’s been two days since you’ve left the apartment, staying at your friend’s house, but Ghost insists on having you keep some of your stuff in the unit because, “well, you technically have ownership of the place since we shared the payment for this month.” It was a poor excuse, really, but it worked. Ghost knows you well enough to know that you haven’t broken up with him despite what you said. Leaving and staying somewhere else is something you do when you’re hurt and need space, and he knows that deep inside, you’re waiting for him. 
Don’t get him wrong. He doesn’t think you’re “easy to get” and he did really regret everything. The last 2 nights without you knocked some sense into him. The night felt colder, somber, and… lonely. Something he thought he would never complain about. I mean, this man has been through worse situations and he prefers solitude, but not if it’s solitude without you. You’re the one thing he can’t live without.
He has sent you multiple voicemails, messages, and even money as an apology. He’d always drop off by your friend’s place with some poorly attempted home-cooked meal of your favorite dishes. Sometimes he’d be able to steal a glance at you when he saw you coming up to the unit right before he arrived, sending flutters to his heart and butterflies in his stomach like a high school boy with a crush.
Now he stands by the door, hoping he’d leave the place with you in his arms, and him in your heart again. Three knocks (you always say less or more than that are for psychopaths) and a call of your name. Simon couldn’t help but chuckle when he heard your familiar cry, probably from rushing and stumbling. The wooden door cracked open, and the adrenaline that rushed through his nerves just from seeing you again could knock the man dead. He couldn’t even say anything except literally melt and give you the warmest smile. “Hi,” he softly greets, pulling the bouquet out of the paperbag and handing it to you with another gift. It was a charm... a tree bark with your initials engraved. You chuckle, pulling out the letter sticking out. 
One thing you learned about your Simon was that he’s not entirely good at conveying his feelings. I mean, that’s literally the reason for this fight. Yet he got out of his comfort zone, wrote you a fucking letter.
You look at him, tears in your eyes before jumping into his arms.
“I fucking missed you, pretty girl,” he mutters, holding you up by your ass and pressing a deep kiss on your lips. God, you taste like heaven; you taste like salvation. He tangles his fingers in your hair and pushes you closer, afraid you’ll slip from his fingers again. 
From that day on, Simon learned one thing. That he would rather go through the depths of hell (talk about his feelings) than go through a day without your love. 
| The letter: 
‘To my darling flower, I’m sorry for even hurting you. I’m sorry I was a shit-ass about how I processed my emotions and got you involved. You’ve always told me that you’re there for me but I didn’t want to burden you. I always want you to be happy but my actions just did the opposite. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything that day. That I didn’t even ask you to stay. I’m sorry for being a coward. I’m sorry that I let you go. 
With this letter, I ask for your forgiveness and for you to have me back. I will be better because I cannot afford to lose you for you have my heart and soul. You are my whole life. You are the thing that makes surviving each day worth it.’
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꒰ა ☆ ໒: Now you guys know why Ghost calls Y/N ‘flower’. This the comfort alternative ending because it was also requested. 📩
dividers by @cafekitsune
Please reblog!! Ask is open!
⟢ taglist: @softestqueeen
check out my other works in the masterlist: ୭!
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suzukiblu · 8 months
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excerpt from in-progress "timebending with Zuko" fic
Zuko wakes up and everything hurts.
Most specifically, his scar hurts.
That . . . doesn’t make sense, he thinks, and reaches for it automatically. A strong hand catches his wrist before he can touch it, which seems–fair, yes. Probably a good idea, anyway, because spirits does it hurt. Just . . . so much.
“Uncle?” he asks reflexively, attempting to open his eyes. It’s surprisingly difficult. And Uncle is in Ba Sing Se, of course, but he’s on his back on a futon or bedroll or something similar and someone’s sitting beside him and his head is swimming and he’s injured, clearly, so options for who said “someone” might be are limited, really.
So it’s not Uncle, obviously, but . . .
“Nephew,” Uncle says, very quietly, and Zuko . . . blinks.
At least, half-blinks. The one eye’s in too much pain to open.
The ceiling is metal, he notes absentmindedly. That’s . . . odd. He was in the palace, wasn't he?
“What happened?” he asks, vaguely bemused. Uncle pauses in a very concerning way, and Zuko has about three heart attacks about just how badly he doesn’t want to know what he’s about to say before–
“The Agni Kai,” Uncle says, very carefully. “Do you remember it?”
Zuko frowns–just with the one side of his face, because again, his scar hurts right now. To the point that his whole body feels wrong, does his scar hurt right now.
“Um–which one?” he asks, because there’s been about a dozen this month alone, and frankly he’s getting really sick of fighting them at this point but if the old guard of nobles are just going to keep dragging everything out like this–
“With your father, Nephew,” Uncle says, very carefully.
Zuko . . . blinks.
“Oh,” he says, vaguely perplexed. Uncle never talks to him about that. “Yeah, I remember that. What about it?”
“Do you remember what happened?” Uncle says.
“The part where I disgraced myself or the part where he burned my face?” Zuko says, because it’s so fucked up and awful and horrible that he can’t even get upset about it anymore, except when he’s really upset about it. But if Uncle’s bringing it up, presumably he has a good reason to be, so . . . “Or the whole ‘go find the Avatar who no one even believes exists anymore or you can never come home again’ part?”
“. . . all of that, yes,” Uncle says, still sounding very careful. Zuko frowns a little–again with just the one side of his face–and then looks over at him. His body still feels weird and wrong, but . . .
But . . .
They’re on a ship, he realizes. A Fire Nation one.
Well, explains the metal ceiling.
It doesn’t explain why Uncle is wearing red armor and a topknot like he hasn't in years, though, or why he looks so unspeakably sad.
“Um,” Zuko says, and attempts to sit up. His head immediately starts swimming even worse, and Uncle catches his shoulders and keeps him pinned against the . . . futon? Looks like a futon, yeah. “Where are we, exactly?”
“We are aboard a ship,” Uncle says. “I . . . may have slightly commandeered it.”
“. . . you paid for it, right?” Zuko asks, a little skeptical at that idea.
“Yes, Nephew, I did,” Uncle says, giving him a very tired, pained smile. Zuko doesn’t feel much better, seeing it.
“Is someone dead?” he asks, because he can’t think of anything else that would make Uncle look that way.
“Ah–no, no one has died,” Uncle says.
“Then what’s wrong?” Zuko asks warily.
“. . . you are injured, Nephew,” Uncle says, slowly. Zuko frowns, bemused. “And your father . . . I did not know he was going to do this. I am so sorry.”
Zuko . . . pauses. Looks around the room again, and then realizes: he knows this room, doesn’t he. He knows this ship.
This is the same ship he woke up on after the Agni Kai.
“Hold that thought, Uncle,” he says, then lifts his hands and looks at them. They . . . well, they are his hands, obviously.
But they’re not his hands, obviously.
“Huh,” he says, frowning in bemusement at them; turning them around like he half-expects them to stop being a thirteen year-old’s or something equally ridiculous. They don’t. They are very definitely a thirteen year-old’s hands.
Specifically, his thirteen year-old hands.
Huh.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he says after a moment, putting his hands back down and glancing back to Uncle, who’s obviously the more important concern. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I took you into that meeting,” Uncle says, his voice tight. “And I watched the Agni Kai. And I did nothing to stop any of it.”
“I know,” Zuko says. “But it wasn’t your fault.”
“It was,” Uncle says, his smile a sad and terrible thing. “You were there because of my actions. My mistakes.”
“You’re not the one who wanted to sacrifice all those soldiers,” Zuko says. “Or the one who decided to throw fire at my face.”
“You were there because of me,” Uncle repeats, his voice tight and his smile no less terrible. It occurs to Zuko, briefly, that Uncle must be thinking of Lu Ten.
He only ever looks like that when he’s thinking about Lu Ten, so . . .
“Uncle,” he says. “Really. It’s not your fault.”
“Nephew,” Uncle says, and his voice is somehow even tighter. Zuko tries to get up again, and his head swims again, and Uncle moves to stop him again. This time he grabs onto Uncle’s wrists and uses them to pull himself up, and then . . .
Well, then he’s sitting up, at least.
So that’s something.
He tilts his head and his hair slips into his eyes. It’s loose, and long. Not shaved on the sides yet, like he wore it the last time he was thirteen. He supposes he should cut it, but then again, why should he? He's not changing anything, after all.
Except for this conversation, he supposes, because that went very differently last time.
. . . hm.
"Uncle," he says one more time, and reaches out for him. Uncle doesn’t seem to understand what he’s trying to do, so he has to reach out a little farther, and then Uncle makes the connection and leans in and lets him wrap his arms around him and alright, yes: that’s better, Zuko thinks, and clings to him.
Just a little, perhaps, but . . .
Yes. He clings to him.
Uncle wraps his arms around him in turn, very carefully, and makes an awful sound.
“My boy,” he chokes. “I’m so–I’m so–”
“I forgive you,” Zuko lies, because of course there’s nothing to forgive.
But of course Uncle doesn’t understand that, does he.
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huskersbooze · 2 months
Text
Who's in Control?
Alastor x Reader
| Part 1(here!) | Part 2 | Part 3 |
Summary : You sold your soul to Alastor and had no idea how big of a deal this was. Until recently, you finally learn what it means, and realize all that Alastor had been doing was just a lie.. or was it?
Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader, Huskerdust? (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)
Warnings : swear words
Additional Tags : Angst, miscommunication, misunderstandings, Alastor actually being nice?!, no use of (Y/n)
Ib : Who's in Control By Set It Off
Word count : 1.8k
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"Good morning, dear."
"Morning, Al." You reach the lobby and take a seat on the floor next to Alastor's chair.
"How was your sleep, darling?"
"It was good! And yours?"
"Aha, hilarious, really. You know I don't sleep, my dear." He places a hand on your head and gives your hair a ruffle. "You really do know how to brighten my day."
The rest of the team reaches the lobby, and you all gather around for your daily dose of trust exercises.
-----
You and Alastor had been growing closer and closer ever since your arrival at the hotel. There was no doubt that he was your favourite person there.
And, well, for Alastor, he never wanted to admit it, but everyone in the hotel could tell, and even he was aware.
He was growing a soft-spot for you.
It was never supposed to be this way. He was never meant to grow attached. It just somehow happened, and that was that.
Everything between you two was going great. Except for that one little issue that bothered Alastor.. but you didn’t have to know. He never tried to abuse any of that power when he asked for your soul. He never thought of doing anything to you.
But there comes a time in every relationship where a lie can ruin it all.
“Hey, sugar. How ya’ doin’?” Angel Dust leans by the bar counter, greeting you as usual.
“I'm doing decent. Husk and I were just talking about you.”
“We were fuckin’ not!” You watch as the cat's ears twitch, the drink he was originally pouring tipping over.
“Oh, really? No need ta’ lie Husky~” You laugh at Angel's teasing, which makes Husk let out a low growl. “At least I don't gawk over a certain demon so obviously.”
“Hey! Are you talking about me and Al?”
“Who else would he be talkin’ about?” Angel tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing glare. “Ya’ can't even deny it.”
“Al and I are just friends.”
“Kid, Angel's right.” The cat can only do so much but sigh. “You don't know him as well as I do. He treats you differently.”
“Still, we're just friends-”
“The Radio Demon doesn't do ‘friends’, kid.”
“Yeah, well, he owns my soul. Of course he'd treat me differently.”
The way it so simply came out of your mouth like it wasn't some big deal. Both Husker and Angel Dust froze in place, staring at you wide-eyed.
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“What.. what did you just say?” The spider can hardly comprehend the news you'd just dropped.
“He owns my soul..?”
“Kid. What the actual fuck?!”
“What the fuck did he do to you?! Ya’ alright?! Are you hurt?”
You watch as the two demons skim your body up and down, firing questions at you, checking up to make sure you weren't hurt.
But you were confused.
“What's going on? Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange?”
“Wh- Why did you sell ya’ soul to him?!”
“Fuck I knew he was up to no good!”
“He told me by selling my soul to him he'd protect me from everything and anything at all cost. I didn't see a reason to decline?” You reply to Angel's question, ignoring Husk as he mutters about himself being correct. “I got nothing to lose.”
“Ya’ got everything to lose, shitass.” You hear his voice start to crack slightly as you realise tears welling up in his eyes.
“Angel?! Hey, what's wrong?”
“Damn, kid. You really don't know shit, huh?”
“About..?”
“What it means to sell your soul.”
“I know what it means, Al said-”
“Forget that fucker.” Husk practically spits out his name. “D'you know why I work here at the bar?”
“Because you like your job..?”
“No. It’s because I was forced by the person I sold my soul to.”
“Who..?”
“Hell, kid.. you really can't take a hint?”
And just like that, he says one more name, and your whole world comes tumbling down on you.
He didn't actually care for you, he was just shaping you in case you came to use.
He didn't actually enjoy your company, he was just watching you to make sure you were obedient.
He didn't actually mean any of the things he said. He was just trying to manipulate you.
And you were so damn lost. So damn lost as to whether the control and power you thought you had, really belonged to you.
“Valentino is an overlord.. and he's your boss?”
“Yup.” Angel nods.
“And he owns your soul like Al owns Husk’s?”
“Exactly.” Husk replies.
“And there's no escaping this contract..?”
“No.” The two reply together.
“Fuck.”
-----
“Greetings, my dear! How are you on this fine morning?” The static sounds from Alastor's usual seat at the lobby where you all gather every morning.
There's that usual smile etched on his face, which, you used to believe looked genuine when he was talking to you, but it seemed that wasn't the case.
“Hey, Husk. Hey, Angel.” You greet the two on the couch, completely passing by Alastor and ignoring his whole existence. “Mind if I sit?”
“Yeah, go ahead.” Angel scoots over and makes space for you to squeeze between Husk and himself. “Ya’ look like hell.”
“You alright, kid?”
“Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm fine.” You reassure them.
The rest of the crew were a bit startled at your display, knowing well that you refused to not sit by Alastor's chair, normally.
And here you were, ignoring him completely like he was no longer relevant, and hanging with the other two demons.
“Okay.. what an interesting way to start the morning!” Charlie tries to break the ice.
Everyone turns their attention towards her.
Everyone but Alastor.
He was practically fuming with rage, anger, irritation, but yet, a tiny bit of worry.
How dare you ignore the Radio Demon like he was some piece of useless trash?
But then again.. why were you suddenly acting so cold and distant? What did he do wrong?
He couldn't help but focus his attention on you throughout the entire day, but you didn't even spare him a single glance.
Needless to say, you felt a knock on your door that night.
“Darling, how wonderful to see you! Wonderful, really. Mind if I come in?”
“A little. What do you need, Alastor?” You stand at the door frame, hand still on the door handle, prepared to slam the door in case anything happens.
Meanwhile, Alastor was pissed. You had never rejected inviting him in for late night chatting, in fact, you never rejected anything from him.
“It's nothing, really. I just hoped to have a friendly little chat with you, if that's alright?” Alastor leans down to your level, tilting his head and giving you his usual smile he reserved for you, and you only.
“A bit busy. Maybe next time.” You attempt to close the door, but a hand swoops in and, damn, was he strong.
“Dear, what seems to be the issue?”
“I’m really busy, Alastor.” You sigh. His ears twitch at the name. Where were all his sweet little nicknames? Why were you only referring to him by his full name?
“Clearly, something is wrong, and I ought to find out what I had done to deserve such treatment.” He states, making himself welcome in your room. “Talk to me, darling.”
“Oh enough with the pet names, I’m not your fucking pet.” You roll your eyes, closing the door behind you to make sure no one stumbles upon your little predicament.
Alastor stiffens, then laughs.
“Whatever are you talking about, dear? Of course you’re not my pet.”
“The damn contract says otherwise..” You watch as Alastor shifts uncomfortably, his back still facing you. “I should’ve known you just wanted another soul. Fuck you, Alastor.”
You continue on about how you never should’ve trusted him, and how you finally knew about everything so there was no point in him pretending to tolerate you.
Alastor, however, could barely process anything you were saying. He could hear his own static in his own head, and it was growing louder and louder.
What the fuck was happening? How did you know? What did he ever do? Where did he go wrong..?
“Darling, please.. You don’t understand-” The radio filter in his voice was off, his actual voice coming out as a soft plea.
Taken aback, you stopped talking. Alastor turned to face you, smile still etched high and proud, but his eyes looked like he was about to break.
“Alastor..” You murmur. “I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I’m sorry.”
“When have I ever used any of that power on you?!” Alastor snaps, eyes darting all over the place, trying to find out what to do to fix all this. “I’ve been nothing but nice! I.. I helped you when you were in trouble! I did nothing to hurt you..”
You watch as Alastor starts losing his usual composure, having it slowly drifting away.. It was heartbreaking seeing him like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him and pretend nothing happened.
“It doesn’t matter when you’re in control..”
“No.. darling, no! You’re in control!” He scrambles, grabbing you by the shoulders.
“Really? I’m not sure I trust any of that bullshit anymore.”
“Dear, please, listen to me..!”
“I'm sorry, Al.. I think it's best if you leave.”
He pauses.
“Have a good sleep, dear.” He says, voice filter completely off. It was a rare occasion getting to hear his sweet voice. Too bad it had to be under such circumstances.
-----
“Oh my, Alastor, what's got your ears pinned back?” Rosie leads her friend through the halls and has him take a seat opposite of her. “Is everything alright?”
“No.. no it's not.” He replies. “She found out.”
“About the deal?”
“No, Rosie. No.” He sighs. “She found out what selling her soul to me actually permits me.”
“But you never wanted to abuse that power, did you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then, I'm assuming you didn't tell her?”
“No.”
“Well, why not?”
“Would it make a difference?" She could practically hear him scoff. "She's irritated at me as is. It's not like she'd even heed my words."
“Come, now, Alastor. You know as well as I that the sweetheart would listen.” Rosie tuts, waving a hand at him.
“She doesn't need to know how powerful she actually is.. she doesn't need to know her soul is being gambled this very second.”
Alastor sighs, getting up from his chair.
“Thank you for your kind words, Rosie. I shall take my leave now.”
“Take care, Alastor.” She smiles. “I'm sure she'll understand.”
“I surely hope you're correct."
———/ TBC. /———
READ PART 2 HERE
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