#save me from exams gale... gale save me... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kashimos-hajime · 4 years

Text

all the stars are closer | c.b.

summary: mark watney wasn’t the only one left behind on mars, and as you struggle to survive on the desert planet, hidden feelings come to light between you and your best friend, dr. chris beck.

WARNINGS: fluff, angst, pining, confessed feelings, probably terrible space jargon but i tried :^), swearing, movie-level injuries pairing: chris beck x fem!reader word count: 7.9k

a/n: written for @baezen. my prompt was have you ever wanted to hate someone? with chris beck :D inspired by say something by a great big world. i wrote this from 12-5am this morning and i’ve perused for mistakes but excuse me if there are still some left!

SOL 18

The sol you’re left behind is… unexpected to say the least.

The winds pick up the sand so heavily your headlights barely pierce through the thick gusts as you push yourself against the current. Small clumps of sand brush against your helmet as you turn to close the door to the Hab behind you. It locks with a groan and you give it a small push to make sure before you turn around again, your eyes focus on Watney’s suit in front of you, desperate not to lose sight of him.

The wind whips at your body, slams into you like a hundred punches all over your suit. It’s as if claws dig into your legs and drag you back. Each step is agonizingly slow.

“Commander, we’re at 10 degrees. The MAV is gonna tip at 12.3.” Martinez’s voice rings in your ears as the punishing sand blocks your vision of Watney for a split second. Your heart is thrumming in your throat and you try to reach forward against the gales but you can barely raise your arms higher than your waist.

Metal crunches, bending under the force of the storm and you raise your head, squinting to try and make out the structures around them. All you see are shadows, silhouettes of your friends and you inhale sharply when a rock flies into the glass of your helmet. Flinching back, you lower your head as your eyes scan for cracks.

“You good, Y/N?”

Chris’ voice rattles in your helmet as you look up. He’s one of the figures in the far distance but you smile anyway, continuing your walk towards him.

“Yeah. You spying on my vitals, Beck?” you tease and his slight chuckle warms your blood as you step over a fallen line.

“That’s Dr. Beck, and no. Just checking up on my crew mates.”

“Hey, lovebirds and companions!” Watney calls. “We might be able to keep the MAV from tipping.”

“How?”

“Use cable from the comms mast as guy lines, anchor it with the Rover’s—” A particularly strong burst of wind knocks you back a few steps, distracting you from Watney’s idea. Your muscles screech in protest as you catch yourself, trying to regain your balance. Your foot digs in awkwardly into the sand as another gale swerves from the side and knocks you right into a crouch.

Lessons at the Academy ring in your ear as the storm howls louder. There’s a faint whistling, hollow in your skull, and you keep your eyes on the two lines of your crew, still heading forward. You’ll give yourself three seconds. Three seconds to just stabilize yourself and then you’ll need to catch up.

Make yourself smaller, ground yourself. You need to realign your centre of gravity.

Your instructor’s voice in your head repeating the words over and over again, you begin to stand up again. Sucking in a lungful of stale air, you take your first step forward. You’re dead focused on keeping your balance and making it to the MAV. There’s nothing more you want than to just sink into the seat, buckled in beside Chris.

“Watch out!”

You don’t see it coming.

Mark Watney slams into you at inhumane speeds. Screaming, you’re knocked off your feet and lifted into the air by the winds pushing you in every direction. Your head jerks forward into the helmet before snapping back, and your whole body alights with fire. Watney’s body is limp against yours and you struggle to get a hold on him, fingers slipping on his wrist. You can barely hear yourself over the storm, your throat burning raw as you catch sight of your arm computer.

/WATNEY /SIGNAL LOST

“Mark? Mark! Wake up!” You glance around, your neck beginning to freeze up from the whiplash. The sharp ping of his decompression alarm rings in your ears, a warning of the death to come and you let out a desperate scream.

There are no figures in sight. No crew members. No one is going to find you in a near-zero visibility storm.

Wrapping your arms around Mark as tight as you can to keep him nearby, you close your eyes and redirect all your energy to staying awake. Metal is creaking, tarp is snapping, and the roaring winds whip at your flying bodies as something slams into your ribs.

“Watney!”

“Y/N!” Chris’ horrified scream of your name reverberates through your skull and you shout out his name, as if that’ll help you hone in on his suit. As if that’ll save you.

Arms dislodged from Mark, he flies past you just as another hard piece of metal sends you flying in another direction. Grasping at nothing but sand, you let out another piercing shriek as you tumble towards the ground.

The landing slams into your bones, and you feel like something breaks inside before everything goes black.

Broken ribs, whiplash, multiple contusions all over your body.

Your suit is nothing more than a pile on the ground as you stumble around the Hab for medical supplies and you barely manage to bring your bruised legs across to the table, the tray of supplies trembling in your weak hand. Your ribs are splitting, blistering pain as you try to suck in a breath, sinking onto the exam table as you carefully begin to peel off your shirt. Your chest screams at you to stop moving and the pain is blinding as you lift up your arms, fingers carefully hooked on the hem of your shirt and tug up.

“Fuck,” you grit out, your neck frozen in place as you try to get it unsnagged from your head. Your mind is racing, trying to come up with any way you could perform an epidural on yourself, as you grab the injection needle. You’ll need to be able to move with less pain than this if you want to get out of this mess, but you need another trained professional to dig it into your back.

You need Chris and you don’t have him here.

What you found is morphine, vials of different anesthetics, and needles. You load one of them up and the syringe is smooth against your clammy palm as you raise your arm haphazardly to your neck. It’s loaded with lidocaine and you press down against your neck, clenching your teeth as a soft click accompanied by a sharp nipping pain digs deeply into your wrenched muscles.

Tossing the anesthetic onto the table, you grab the oral meds. Acetaminophen tablets. You’re going to be needing a lot of them over the next few days as you try to work out your next course of action. Acetaminophen tablets and cold showers.

Great.

Popping one into your mouth, you crush it between your teeth and dry swallow, sweat glistening on your skin as you tilt your head back against the table and close your eyes. Lucky for you, your thoracic cavity only feels like it’s about to cave in when you breathe in.

Small blessings and all that.

You feel the sweet pull of sleep tug at your consciousness as you let out a sigh, melting against the warming metal table. Not that you’re keen on wasting away on Chris’ exam table, but it does sound nice at the moment. Your eyes fluttering shut, you try to ignore the sounds of your own laboured breathing and the sight of a deserted Mars. Ignore the fact that you barely limped your way back to the Hab after searching for Watney and the MAV.

So this wasn’t just some shitty dream. Your crew is really gone, and Watney really is dead.

Shit.

Eyebrows furrowing together, you force yourself into a sitting position despite the dulling ache in your neck and the consistently sharp pain in your chest. Breathing in quick puffs, you slide your legs off the exam table just as the low beep of the Hab repressurizing catches your attention.

No time to rest. I’m not going to die here.

“Pressure stable.”

Forcing yourself to your feet, you watch as a figure slowly limps to the second door.

And then the door opens and you see Mark Watney turning to look the Hab doors, alive.

This has to be a dream.

“Watney,” you call out hoarsely, throat still raw from screaming. Trying to get up, you stifle a groan and walk around Chris’ desk. You stumble to him on unsteady legs and he catches you by the arms as you search his gaze. He looks like shit. “You okay?” Helping him rip off his suit, your eyes scan for injuries as his rest on your face, utter relief flooding the air. “Couldn’t just fucking die, huh?”

“Neither could you, apparently,” he shoots back through a clenched jaw and you laugh despite how much it aches.

Thank god, you’re not alone.

SOL 21

“So you’re blaming me,” Mark affirms as you count the amount of mac and cheese they have left in the Hab.

32. 33. 34. 35.

“I mean, you did crash into me,” you point out, picking up another pack. 36. 37. 38. “The dish completely destroyed my bio-monitor computer.”

“It wasn’t my choice to get completely slammed by it,” he shoots back, counting his packets of beef goulash. A cold pack is strapped to your neck and there’s a few more shoved underneath your shirt for your ribs, and your skin is numb to the touch as you take a sip of juice from your bottle. Acetaminophen went down three hours ago. It’ll be time to take it again in another despite Watney’s insistence on the morphine. No, you’re saving it for when things get serious.

39. 40. 41. 42.

Not that being stranded on Mars isn’t serious.

“Forty two mac and cheeses,” you announce victoriously, setting the final pack in the tray and pushing it towards his side of the table so he can put it back on the shelf later. “Meatballs up next.”

“We can probably ration this out to three-hundred fifty days. Two people eating instead of seven. Three-quarters of a meal.”

“I’ll have half,” you say, beginning all over again with new packets. 1. 2. 3.

“You need to eat more. You’re still on bed rest.”

“I’m fine. We have work to do if we don’t want to die on this planet, Mark.”

“No.”

“I can do EVA and clear the solar panels. I have whiplash, I’m not dead.” you argue but Mark merely sends you a look as if to say, Try me. You roll your eyes and wince when he comes around the table and pokes your side.

“You have broken ribs that are under enough stress as it is. If it were anyone else, you would tell them to lie the hell down.”

Tossing him a glare, you bite out, “I’m fine when random men don’t poke me in the ribs.”

“My bad. Beck’s privileges,” he quips and you just manage to snipe him in the back of the head with a mac and cheese pack before he turns around. He merely gives you a hint of a smile before tossing the pack back at you going back to writing. You sigh, placing the mac and cheese pack back into the tray before turning to your meatballs.

You hadn’t even thought about Chris ever since realizing you’re not alone stranded on Mars, at least not in depth. Your best friend is no doubt losing his mind over leaving you behind—always had such a strong guilt over nothing—and now, when you let yourself feel it, his absence carves something hollow in your chest.

You miss him.

“You think they even thought that we might be alive?” you ask Mark quietly. You’re not angry that they left you behind. It was the practical thing to do, but you wonder if they wonder about the possibility, or if they’d rather sleep easier at night.

“I think that’s all they think about,” Mark says. “Lewis is gonna beat herself over this.”

You think of the Commander, then your thoughts turn to Chris again without any prompting. God. And what will your parents say?

A Thanksgiving dinner without you there is probably gonna be a bit down in the dumps, huh.

Then again, they’d planned not to have you and Chris back this year, so maybe it wouldn’t be too awful despite thinking their only child is dead.

Yikes.

SOL 79

“So are you and Beck really a thing?” Mark asks as you help him pull out the potato plants gently. “You know, making idle conversation while we farm our shit potatoes,” he adds when you shoot him a glare. Your ribs are on the mend and your neck is regaining its range of motion, but it still aches so you have to rotate at your waist to face him completely before you return back to your own gardening.

“We’re best friends, Watney.” Picking up the larger of the potatoes and placing it gently into your bucket, you spot Mark on the other end of their tiny greenhouse out of the corner of your eye, giving you a small smug grin. “So no, we’re not a thing. We’ve never been like that.”

“Never. Not even a tiny little slip?”

“Never. I’ve known him since we were like three and it’s just… he’s been by my side since forever. There’s never been a time when we could’ve been more. Not with everything that goes on.” School, then uni, then med-school, flight academy, Ares 3. Always something more. “This is… actually kinda the longest I’ve been without him hanging around, to be honest.” The confession leaves you breathless. Has it really been seventy-one sols since you saw your best friend? Last heard his voice?

Will it be the last time ever? Will you spend the rest of your life feeling so empty inside because only Chris can fill it with his laugh? WIth his smile? The perennial feeling of missing someone is tragic all in itself.

You move on to the next potato plant and slowly wiggle it out of the dirt. “Why’re you asking?” you ask to distract yourself. “You know it’s not recommended by NASA to be in relationships within the crew. Besides, we have a mission to focus on.”

“That doesn’t stop Beck at all.”

“What are you even talking about?” You laugh, trying to ignore the thought of Chris’ tiny little smile on Hermes whenever he floated past while you were working out or when they’d open emails together. Hermes had been your home with him and now… he’s there.

Alone.

“You think we don’t see you two flirting? God, you’d be off together for hours at a time and we’d all make bets on what you guys were doing.”

“You know you can’t have sex in space, right?” you point out and Mark wrinkles his nose. “I don’t even want to try it.”

“You can, actually. It would be aerobic.”

“And if you flew into a tied condom somehow, it would be our fault,” you retort with a smile, heat flooding your face. The idea of just having sex in a place where all your friends could catch you in the act? And with Chris? A guy who’s been by your side since day one? The thought sends shivers down your spine. Pleasant shivers. It’s not like you imagined what it’d be like—to hold his hand, to kiss him, to… go farther.

“That’s gross.”

You blink, turning to look at Mark for a moment. “Not that we’re that irresponsible. We’re doctors. Being sanitary is in our nature.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, Beck made some comments before we launched and I thought he’d have made a move by now.”

“Who said he hasn’t?” you murmur low enough that only you can hear, trying not to think about the words he whispered on Hermes when he thought you were sleeping. God, those words had haunted you every day since and the only reason they’ve been out of your mind is the high possibility of your death on Mars. Louder, you say, “Probably because we’re just friends, Watney.”

Friends.

The word tastes bittersweet on your tongue as you pick up another potato.

SOL 136

HRM: Apparently, NASA’s letting us talk to you now, and I drew the short straw.

HRM: Sorry we left you two behind on Mars, but we just don’t like you. Also, it’s a lot roomier on Hermes without you guys. We have to take turns doing your tasks, but it’s only botany (not real science.) and Beck can still work with his broken little heart.

HRM: How’s Mars?

In the Rover, you’re piled in behind Mark as he types out a response and you laugh at the tiny jest at Chris.

RVR: Dear Martinez, Mars is fine. I accidentally blew up the Hab, but unfortunately all of Commander Lewis’ disco music still survived.

“For the record, Y/N appreciates something to listen to besides me talking to the camera for hours on end,” you say and he nods, smiling as he transcribes your message.

RVR: Every day we go outside and look at the vast horizons just because we can. I’m going to hand the reins over to Y/N now. I think she’s had enough of me talking all the time.

Mark glances back at you and nods, getting out of the driver’s seat one way while you shimmy into the seat the other way. Sliding into the seat, you settle down with a sigh as Mark peers over your shoulder and you poise your fingers over the keyboard.

HRM: Dear Y/N, how’re the ribs coming along? And for the record, I do not have a broken little heart, but I do miss you a lot. It’s getting boring here without you, especially now that I have to deal with Johanssen thinking she has a brain tumour every two minutes.

RVR: Dear Chris, I miss you, too. My ribs are completely healed, thank you. It’s a lot harder to sleep at night knowing there’s a chance we might not come home, but I think about you a lot. Mostly, I think about the crew and how if one of them gets a paper cut, your sutures will never be as straight as mine. By the way, Johanssen is my girl. Do not talk about her that way.

“He’s tryna make you jealous,” Mark sings teasingly under his breath and you turn to smack him with a gloved hand before waiting for the response.

HRM: We’ll work it out. I hope Watney isn’t taking my place as your best friend with his potatoes.

RVR: Well, have you ever wanted to hate someone but you can’t because they’re vital to your survival and also they grow potatoes?

HRM: Why do you think I keep you around? Your mom’s mashed potatoes, of course. I love it more than you do.

Your smile digs into your cheeks as you read that message, and you feel your throat cinch shut as you swallow.

RVR: No, you don’t. It’s simply not possible.

You hope he can hear you somewhere, just saying those words outloud. You hope it sounds like you just like how you can hear his voice with every word he types.

HRM: Come home safe, Y/N. Space would be lonely without you otherwise.

RVR: As if I’d let you live in space without me.

SOL 186

You wake up to an empty Hab.

There is no movement, no rustling of Watney trying to make ends meet as you remember last night’s news.

Kapoor: The Iris probe failed to launch. I’m sorry.

Rolling onto your side, you feel your stomach howl. Clutching your side, you close your eyes and try to fall back asleep but your internal clock is ringing in your ears and even though there’s nothing more on the list, you get up anyway, blanket wrapped around you. Ever since you’ve cut down on meals, you’ve been going hungrier and hungrier, but you’re not losing your fat yet, thank god. You need to stay warm.

Passing by clear plastic covering the hole in the Hab, your eyes search for where the Rover was parked last night.

Not there.

So, Mark’s gone and left already. The two of you had decided last night in your bunk beds to simply take the days as they came—to travel as much as they could, see it all before they go.

It’s grim in hindsight, but it’s your ending life now.

Heading for the cabinet, you feel your whole body drag against the floor as you fight to keep your strength up. Although you’ve felt like you’ve been starving for at least four days now, there’s a new hollowness at the realization that there isn’t more food coming. You microwave a potato and cut a meatloaf into thirds before lining your plate with the vitamins needed to stay healthy. Heading to your work station, your eyes pass over a picture of you and Chris is still framed there.

You bite into the potato and feel it thick against your tongue. It’s a struggle to chew and even harder to swallow but you manage it anyway as you reach for the frame. The two of you, cheeks pressed together, newly earned stethoscopes around your necks. The day you guys graduated med school.

You loved him then. You’ve loved him your whole damn life. Loved him and felt your heart burst when he said those words in your quarters after carrying you there from games night.

Sweet dreams, Y/N. I love you, even though I know we could never be more than this.

But you’ve always been too afraid to tell him. Afraid of what? Afraid because it could’ve changed things?

Isn’t that what you always wanted? For him to see you as you saw him?

Setting down the frame, you turn away. You bring your meager meal to the computer and log into HabJournal, slumping down in the chair as you pull the blanket tighter around you. The camera focuses on you and it begins to record immediately as you set down your plate on the table.

“So, Sol 186,” you begin quietly, looking at your own image. You’re beginning to lose colour in your skin and your eyes are sinking from lack of sleep, but you bring a piece of meatloaf to your mouth and chew regardless. “Last night we were told the Iris probe failed to launch, so that means we stretched our rations for four more days for nothing, basically.” You set down your fork and knife, the meat heavy on your tongue as you try to think of what to say. Thoughts of Chris, your parents, the crew, flood your mind. “Guess that means we’re going to starve to death and no… dark humour can’t pull us out of this one. We found enough morphine for two lethal injections our first night here, so… if worse comes to worse… I mean—” You clear your throat— “we have to think of every outcome. Mark already asked Commander Lewis to tell his parents, you know, covering bases like I said.” Your eyes slip shut for a moment as you exhale and then you rouse yourself again, staring at your half-eaten ration. You don’t want to eat anymore.

“I have to stay awake until tonight. He’s gone out with the Rover and I need to send a message to the people I love. You know, cover my bases, too.” Eyes drifting, you spot another picture of you and Chris in Hermes, floating as you squirt some food into the air for him to eat, thumbtacked to the board. You were both smiling, laughing until your guts ached. It must’ve been something like tubed chocolate mousse or a pudding. Your favourite, you had said because it was.

Chris has the biggest sweet tooth out of anyone you know.

“There’s a lot of things I wish I could’ve said, I think,” you add softly, gaze going back to the screen. You tuck your knees to your chest and smile bitterly, a chuckle escaping just barely. “It’s just so stupid that we survive all this time just to… just to die because something failed. Like we did everything we could and it still… it just isn’t enough.” Picking up the potato with your bare hands, you pop the quarter left into your mouth and simply watch your image eat. “I don’t want to die,” you clarify once you swallow. “It’s not my intention to give up until it’s too late for sure, but you know, at least we accomplished something this time. I mean, I’m still trying to finish Chris’ chemolithotrophic experiment since Mark doesn’t understand anything about it so Ares 4 can pick up where I left off.

You know, on the bright side, we still got somewhere. Mark’s the greatest botanist on this planet, and I’m honoured to have helped him grow the very first lifeform on Mars. We fucking ate organic human-shit potatoes, baby. We could’ve done this thing.” You stare at the camera, and hope, when Chris watches your final journal log, he understands what you mean. “We definitely could’ve done it and it sucks, but that’s life. I knew what I was doing when I signed up, and this is so much bigger than two humans stuck on Mars. I know Mark feels the same way. We don’t regret this. It’s going to be okay, and I hope you guys can finish the mission if we end up... you know, gone before we can. Anyway, I’m gonna go make myself useful and check up on Chris’ experiment.

“This is Dr. Y/L/N signing out.”

RVR: Hey, Chris. Today’s been alright. Mark came back in better spirits and he actually got to work today with the other crew’s duties. It’s good to hear him joking after what we heard last night.

RVR: I know we never really planned for things to go this way. You know we talked about the possibility as a joke, but now that it might become a reality, I hope you know what I said was serious. You know, with the whole talking to my parents thing. Please talk to them and tell them all about Mars, and tell them that I love them so much, and just see them. Try to go every weekend like we used to together. You know, let them check up on you.

RVR: Yeah, I’m not asking you to check up on them, because you’re family, Chris. I’m asking you to let them check up on you. They’ll always be your rock, and you need them, too. You’re gonna need them when I’m gone. Gonna need to tell ‘em that you’re not okay, because… you’re not going to be okay. I know you.

RVR: You’ll blame yourself because you think you should’ve gone out into a eighty-six hundred Newton storm and I wish I can be there in person to tell you that it’s stupid, that there was no reason for you to believe I was alive and that giving up on me saved your life, but I know I can’t. You wouldn’t believe me, anyway.

RVR: And I love you, too. We could’ve been way more than this. Maybe we can be, if we have another chance. I don’t know. I don’t know anything except that I love you. I’ve loved you my whole life, and now, it might be too late.

RVR: If I don’t make it out alive, please move on. Please don’t get hung up on me just because you think of all the things we could’ve been. You’re my best friend, Chris. I don’t want to see you sad. I never have. Cry a few tears, move on, find a nice girl who’ll love you like I never was brave enough to admit I do, and just… maybe visit the grave every once in a while. That would be nice.

Your hands tremble as you type in your last words and then hit Enter.

RVR: I miss you more than anything. I love you.

SOL 219

“I can’t believe I blurted out my feelings and now we’re preparing for a chance to go home,” you call out over the comms. Mark inflates the tarp on top of the Rover and you watch, the roll of tape still on your hand as you jump off the vehicle. You land with a solid thump, the dust stirring around your boots. Excitement is pulsing through your veins for the first time in a long time as you turn to watch your day’s work begin to swell. “Just like, three hundred more sols and we get to see our friends again.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We still have a chance of dying so it won’t all be so bad.”

“Way to ruin it, Watney,” you sigh as it reaches its max. “Looks good. I don’t see any seals.”

“Perfect. Besides, maybe it’ll be a good thing you finally said what you needed to say to Beck. God knows it was suffocating just watching you two,” the astronaut adds, walking around the Rover and you shoot him a glare. “It was cute, but just plain annoying.”

“Why do you feel the need to bring this up every single time?” you retort, heading back for the Hab despite Watney’s calls of your name. He walks after you with a little wince to his step and you make a mental note to prepare a hot bath. He had strained his back a few days ago lifting rocks to test how far the Rover could go with all the extra weight and you’ve got nothing for sore muscles beside muscle relaxants and hot packs.

“Because Commander Lewis definitely would’ve moved you two to the same bed if it meant you two would shut up with the flirting. We’re all single on that ship!”

“Watney,” you deadpan, turning to look at your friend as he catches up to you. “You and Johanssen are the only people single on that ship as of this moment. And no, she wouldn’t. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?” As if I hadn’t already sneaked into Chris’ quarters more than once because of the excitement of going into space, the fear that we won’t make it back, your head adds but you keep your mouth shut about that.

“Aha! So you admit you’re no longer available!”

“I have never been emotionally available on this mission!” you shoot back, exasperated. “Or ever!”

“See, that’s what you say.”

“Do you want a hot bath or not because I can use up the hot water. Don’t try me.” You really wouldn’t but it’s fun to see the slight panic in Mark’s eyes. “I miss him, yeah, and so what if I have feelings for him?”

“Then, Martinez owes me fifty bucks.”

“You’re literally the worst,” you mutter, grabbing onto the Hab door and twisting it open. “I’ve got to check up on Chris’ experiment. Run your own damn bath.” Mark closes the door behind him and the chamber begins to pressurize.

“Oh, now you’re being mean.”

“Pressure stable.”

Twisting off your helmet, you turn to Mark and shove your glove into his helmet, pushing him back. He stumbles back and you laugh as he fights to find his balance. He tries to grab you to pull you back with him but you walk out of reach, opening the second door and entering the Hab.

“Mean!”

SOL 461

You’re losing your body fat at last ever since they’ve begun to run out of food which means you’re getting colder and colder in the same environment every day. There’s nothing you can do but keep your calories at a minimum level to stay alive as long as possible as you put on your space suit for what you hope is the last time.

“Your beard is gross,” you call out to Mark as you slide on your helmet and he wrinkles his nose at you, writing down 461 on the wall. Turning to you, he is about to exit when he remembers his helmet and you smirk. “Space pirate.”

“We’re space pirates,” he agrees. “Why don’t we explore those waters, Captain?”

You smirk, turn on your arm computer and hone in on Mark’s telemetry signal as a test before nodding.

“Aye aye, Captain.”

SOL 524

“Hey, wake up.” Jolting awake, you glance blearily up Mark’s thin face and you groan, blinking the sleep out of your eyes. “We’ve gotta eat and clean up a bit.” Groaning, you sit up and follow him out of the Rover as your bones clamour inside your suit. You’ve lost almost all the meat off your limbs, your ribs peeking out underneath your skin, and you feel like you could be blown away by a soft breeze.

Inside the inflated structure, you strip down to nothing and turn your back to Watney as he prepares the meals of potatoes and whatever’s left at this rate. Running a wet pad over your bruising skin, your teeth chatter and you try to ignore the fact that the divets in your arms where muscle used to be are starting to look a bit too hollow. You feel empty inside, like you haven’t been full for ages, and as you crouch down to rub down your legs, you wonder how you look.

Pitifully small, probably.

It’s how Watney looks with his hobo beard at least. Blood is gathering underneath his skin, the beginnings of contusions blooming along the notches on his spine and you sigh. There’s only so much their paper-thin skin can do at this rate.

“What’ve we got?” you ask, pulling on a shirt and crouching beside him. He nudges a bowl of wet beans and half a raw potato towards you. “Yum.”

“It’s all we’ve got at this rate,” Mark mumbles quietly. He’s losing it, too. When NASA can’t see them, you see what Mark’s really like. He’s exhausted to the core, and losing more energy every day. You pretend you don’t realize he’s giving you the majority of the food because it’s a survival tactic. Just like how if Hermes crew doesn’t make it, Johanssen is having human meat soup for eight more months after the rations run out because she’s the youngest, smallest, and she’ll know how to get back to Eartha alone. Well, not 100% alone. Her and five other carcasses.

The thought makes your stomach growl.

The thought of anything warm and filling is making it quail in protest, even if it is human flesh.

Well, that’s a bit fucked up.

Then again, you’re removing everything that protects you from space on the MAV once you reach it, so maybe cannibalistic thoughts aren’t so out of reach. It’s not like you’d actually act on them.

Watney’s all skin and bone at this point. Skin that’s beginning to break, bones that are hollowing out, and you’d rather die than eat your friend.

“If you’re thinking about eating me,” he says warily when you’ve gone on too long staring at his plate of potatoes and beans. “Please don’t. Wait until we actually run out of food, yeah?” You chuckle, your lungs wheezing as you bite into the raw potato.

“Aye aye, Captain.”

SOL 561

Turning around, you listen to Mark climb up the MAV. You’re sitting down on the edge of the hole, sliding your leg into a flight spacesuit. Your mind is running over all the possible outcomes for riding a spaceship with essentially no protection and you don’t know how to broach the topic of the effect of G-force on the human body.

“Hey, Watney.”

“Hey.”

“So,” you begin, pushing yourself up and heading for where the top half of your suit is suspended on harnesses. Mark turns to you and you sigh, pausing. His eyes find yours and you’re surprised to see how much trust lay within them. Before, sure, it’d been full of amusement, the mirth of his latest jest potent in his eyes, but now, that blue gaze is muted with respect and you can’t help but mirror that. They did this together and they’re going home together no matter what.

“So,” he mutters with a note of finality. He walks past you to grab the hygiene bag on the bench, unzipping it to uncover a razor and he heads for the mirror as you wring out your hands.

“When we launch, we might get up to 12 G’s.”

“Yeah?”

Your eyes try not to linger on the dried blood on his shoulder as he switches the razor on. “So, we’re gonna pass out, almost definitely. And we might have internal bleeding, cracked ribs.” The razor buzzes inside your skull as you lower your hands. “Chris is the EVA specialist, but even if he does catch us—”

“You know the point of it all is that they tried, you know?” Mark says. “Because if they do catch us, that means we have another way of saving more astronauts.”

“This was a freak of a mission, Watney,” you reply, adjusting the waist of the suit. You ignore the pallor of your skin and instead, push yourself towards him. Your booted feet are heavier than bricks as he watches you approach in the mirror.

“Well, it was an honour to share it with you, Captain.” His eyes find yours through the reflection and you grin through the glass despite the fatigue weighing you down. You touch his arm tentatively and he sets the razor down before he turns around. “Nice knowing ya, Mrs. Beck,” he teases and you roll your eyes before pulling him into a shaking hug.

Your eyes close tightly and you do your best to ignore the fact that you both smell like shit as his arms wrap around you, too.

“We’ll see if we can make it work first,” you whisper. His arms seem to tighten and you let out a sharp sigh. “I don’t want to get sappy on you until I’m literally staring into the face of death, but this was a once in a lifetime mission, Mark. I’m glad you were here with me.”

“Yeah. Who else would’ve complained as much as you did?” he mocks and you laugh against him, fingers digging into the notches of his spine as you close your eyes for a moment, simply breathing in and out.

“This could work.”

He pulls back, smiles, and his eyes dart over the redness along the edges of your face, too. The vessels around your eyes run as they try to keep your blood pumping and you can see the same roughness in his cheeks and eyes as he nods. “This could work.”

Clapping his arm, you leave him to shave to put on the top half of your flight spacesuit.

Only the climb up to the MAV remains.

“Hold my hand as soon as you cut,” you say over the comms. Mark might be absolutely delighted by the idea, but as you watch Hermes approach from the distance, you can’t help the feeling of apprehension tightening in your gut. “We let go, we lose each other in space.”

“Yeah. I’m not letting you go at this point,” he says and you smile before he counts down. “Three. Two. One.” As soon as you dig the knife through your suit, you reach for Mark only to be launched back first into the MAV. Your rebroken ribs from the G-force protest in pain and you let out a grunt as you slam against Mark, but your uncut glove flails blindly, fingers trying to snag onto Mark still bouncing around with you. He latches onto one of the chairs and you fling out an arm, hooking elbows with him and clamping your open glove into a fist.

“Mark, report.”

Giving Mark a panicked smile, you just nod as he replies, “On our way, Commander.”

On cue, the two of you release your fists and are launched into space. Unstable and tumbling, they spiral through space as they try to regain some balance and you wrestle against Mark’s arm pulling you off course as you angle your wrist outward, trying to realign yourself with Lewis. Letting go of Mark’s arm for a moment, you manage to snag onto Lewis, her elbow hooking onto your arm as you’re yanked back and you grunt, whole body snapping back. Mark’s hand digs into your leg but it slips and you glance back, terrified to see him swallowed up by the blackness surrounding them everywhere.

“Mark!” Readjusting yourself, you grab onto the tether as Mark manages to wrap his own hand on the orange rope and you pull with all your might. Black stars burst into your vision as the last of your strength goes and you let out a grunt as Lewis begins to spin them around. Mark whirls around them as she pulls and you simply hold on, your eyes beginning to slip shut. The sound of Mark’s fight echoes in your ears and you’re shackled with that god awful hope that maybe they’re making it out of this alive—

A body slams into you and helmets clink together as Mark joins their little duo. Hands grab onto arms and the orange tether floats around them like silk ribbon as the sound of harsh breathing fills the comms.

“I got ‘em!” Lewis calls out, voice breaking and you smile, tilting your head forward against Lewis’ helmet. “I got ‘em.” Laughing, you grab onto Mark tightly and he glances at you for a moment before the two of you both look at Lewis.

“It’s good to see you,” he pants. “You… have terrible taste in music.”

As the tether tightens and they’re reeled in, you wrap an arm around Mark’s helmet and push yourself against him.

“Good job, Captain,” you cheer and he laughs, barely able to contain himself. A similar lightness fills your chest and you can’t help the stress-free laughs, the release of all that energy in your chest as you tilt your head back and laugh no matter how much it hurts to breathe. You’re pulled into the airlock and you detach first when you catch sight of Chris standing by the tether. Swimming towards him, you outstretch your arms and crash into him, helmets clinking.

“Beck, close the hatch.”

Chris’ arms wrapped around yours, he reaches to press the button as Lewis parks and Watney swims past to the other end of the airlock.

“Hey, guys.”

You haven’t seen your friends in more than a year, but right now, you’re only focused on one face. “Chris,” you whisper and his smile is everything in your universe as he touches your helmet, like he’s not quite sure you’re real.

“Houston,” Lewis’ breathless voice echoes in your ears as he pulls you in tightly for a hug. Your helmets scrape but you don’t care, simply melting into the arms of your best friend. “Seven crew safely aboard.”

The other end of the airlock hisses open and you detach yourself from Chris’ arms to see the other three swim in and you laugh, turning to your best friend with a huge smile. He holds you still, twisting off his gloves and helping you take off your helmet as you take off your own gloves and your cheeks are aching as your flesh touches cold glass. Until you can feel him, you won’t know it’s real.

And then his hands are on yours, and you know.

“Chris,” you repeat again, the name so familiar on your tongue you don’t know how you’ve gone a day without saying it. He reaches to take off his own helmet and wrinkles his nose when he first gets a whiff of you but you don’t care. You don’t care about impressions or smells or appearances anymore.

You just want him.

Flinging your arms around his neck, you tear off his stupid cap and run your fingers through his hair. It’s dry but downey between your fingers that have touched nothing but metal and plastic for more than a year and you cry. You bury your face into his neck and cry out his name as he simply squeezes you tight against him.

“I love you,” he chokes out and you pull back, cheeks brushing against yours as you smile. His small smile curls his lip and you brush the tear away from his face.

“I love you, too.”

“I love you, guys,” Mark cries out, barging into their conversation with a faux whimper and the newly reunited best friends part with a yelp as their whole crew wraps them in a huge hug.

Surrounded by so many bodies, you have never felt so warm and loved. When you meet Chris’ gaze, you feel the hole inside you begin to fill again.

DAY 1

“How’re you feeling?”

The soft mumble against your ear makes you blink away from the screen revealing the info dumps coming through, and you turn to look at Chris, eyes studiously on yours. That same soft smile is ever present on his lips as you shrug with a wince, and his eyes flit to your vitals.

The med bay is empty except for Watney sleeping the drugs off and you place your hand gently on Chris’. His hand twists, fingers weaving with yours and you smile, easing into your pillows.

“Did you sleep here all night?” you ask quietly, raising an eyebrow and he shrugs, leaning onto your bed by the elbows and pressing your hand against his cheek.

The reunion was short-lived after their return. After all, there were injuries that needed to be assessed, malnutrition that needed to be addressed, a whole hygiene regime that needed to be followed, and a lot of sleep to catch up on.

“Maybe,” he whispers and you laugh, shaking your head free and patting his cheek. “I don’t want you out of my sight. I close my eyes and all I can imagine is losing you again.” Lips twitching into a frown, your eyebrows knit together at his kicked expression. You wonder if he can still read your message by memory as you know it by heart. “You scared the shit out of me, Y/N.”

“‘M sorry, Chris,” you murmur and he sighs, closing his eyes with a flutter of his eyelashes. Tears burn down his cheeks as he presses his lips together. “I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you.”

“It’s not your fault,” he replies. You scoot to the side of your bed despite your ribs yawning in pain and pat the small space beside you. “You need to rest, Y/N. Get back to sleep and I’ll hit you with a dose of the good stuff when you wake up,” he bargains but you still shake your head.

“I don’t need the good stuff,” you say. “I just need you.” His eyes widen just so and your smile grows as the warmth inside you spreads to your fingers. Moving your I.V. lines, you make sure the space is clear for him. “C’mon. Get up here.” He tilts his head, debating it in that brain of his before he gets off his chair, climbing carefully into the small bed. He slides an arm around your shoulders, settling onto his side and you sigh, shimmying closer once he settles. His heat wraps around you, his other arm draping across your chest. His nose nuzzles into your cheek and his breath puffs against your neck as you close your eyes.

Home. Finally home.

“Y/N?” you hear his mumble and you turn your face blindly towards him. He smells like antibiotic cream and sweat, and you barely open your eyes as he looks up at you, blue eyes filled with a tenderness that tells you you’re safe now. “I love you.”

“Yeah?” you whisper, and he smiles.

“Yeah.”

“Good. ‘Cause I love you, too.”

And he tilts his chin just so to kiss you.

1K notes · View notes

grumpyhedgehogs · 4 years

Text

and I cough up my lungs (but I leave in my heart)

Summary: Adaine rolls a nat one on her panic attack check after Aelwyn hits her with Tasha’s Hideous Laughter in episode one. Title from Organs by Of Monsters and Men.

Something changes when Aelwyn redirects her sister’s spell back at her. She doesn't know exactly what yet.

Something changes after Aelwyn throws Adaine’s Tasha’s Hideous Laughter back at her. Adaine doubles over, howling with mirth. Aelwyn’s lips tug up into a smug smirk. She’s about to lord it over her sister, about to talk about irony and good spellcasting and why she’s the only sister who can hold up the family name. Adaine raises her head, though, and the words die in her throat because--because Adaine is crying.

“A--Adaine?” She forces out through suddenly numb lips. “Sister?”

Sure, crying doesn’t amount to much since Tasha’s Hideous Laughter is uncontrollable for a reason. But her sister’s eyes are darting around--looking for an exit, Aelwyn’s mind supplies--and her pupils contract to pinpoints, the white showing all the way around. There’s sweat beading on her forehead. Her hands are trembling, grasping around air.

She’s seen her sister have panic attacks before. She’s never been the reason, though.

“Adaine, really, this display is very gauche.” Aelwyn says, groping for levity. She drops the spell with a twitch of her fingertips, the old, familiar sting of guilt snaking up her spine. Adaine will be fine now. The spell is over. She’s fine. “I simply must ask you to stop.”

“Hah--hah--” Adaine gasps. She tries to take in a great breath as the spell fades, but her chest hitches violently and she clutches at her blazer with both hands, gagging. Her shoulders hunch up around her ears and she half turns from Aelwyn, looking ready to fall. She inhales again but can’t seem to force any air past the back of her throat; Aelwyn watches the tendons in her neck begin to stand out as she struggles. She’s trembling harder now, like a leaf in a gale of wind and Aelwyn--doesn’t know what to do. “Ah--I--”

This isn’t going to plan. She’s supposed to be convincing Adaine to steal the book from Aguefort’s restricted section. She’s supposed to be making sure she’ll take the next step on her way to being the elven oracle. Adaine isn’t supposed to be having trouble breathing.

“I--I can’t--” Adaine forces out, just to make Aelwyn’s life all the harder. “I--can’t--breathe.”

She’s curling in on herself, shaking so hard it’s almost like she’s having a seizure, like she’s convulsing. Panic attacks aren’t usually like this, are they? Adaine usually just looks pale and upset, breathing hard but not like she’s going to hyperventilate her way to unconsciousness. Hell, their mother had sent her into a second attack right after she failed the entrance exam and she hadn’t been this bad. Exhausted and frail looking--she’s so small, Aelwyn thinks, and tears at herself for it--but not like this.

It must be the spell then. But Aelwyn got rid of it! This shouldn’t--this couldn’t be--but Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, taking away Adaine’s ability to breathe after their father’s treatment and on the first day of school? It’s enough to make even Aelwyn’s breath short. It’s no small wonder it's taken Adaine this long to snap.

“I--” She stops. Vitriol is always easier to access these days. It has been for a long time. But Adaine is curling in on herself and, against her better judgement, abjuration magic curls at Aelwyn’s fingertips. Instinctively she glances around, searching for something, anything, some outside danger she can hex into oblivion to get rid of this feeling. She has to make this better.

You did this, you did this to her, whispers Aelwyn’s mind. She snarls and steps forward. When she raises her hands, Adaine flinches slightly and Aelwyn’s stomach drops to the soles of her feet. Why--

She’s never seen their parents strike her sister. She’s made herself watch what they have done to her, guilt not letting her turn away. It’s all the penance she can offer--but she’s never seen anything physical. She would know. She would know.

She tells herself it’s just the fear that comes with the attacks and slows her approach.

“Adaine? Adaine, It’s me. It’s your sister, Aelwyn. You’re having a panic attack.” The words feel clunky, too heavy and strange on her tongue. She knows she’s having a panic attack, you dolt. Obvious, much? “You’re having a panic attack, okay? But it’s okay, you’re alright. You--”

You’re the elven oracle, you’re the strongest wizard I know, you’re going to save the world some day, I can tell. You’re my sister and I never saved you when I should have and now I’m going to throw everything we ever could have had away because Mother and Father say I have to. I learned abjuration magic for you. I love you.

“You’re alright.” She finishes lamely. “I’m--I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” Not yet. Her stomach curdles, acid rising in her throat. She swallows it down.

Adaine gasps again, but she’s not curled so tightly into herself anymore. Her chest heaves as she raises her head, wide eyes searching Aelwyn’s face. She struggles not to smooth her expression on reflex. It’s a weird feeling to let her worry crease her brow naturally. “Wh--what?”

“I’m right here,” Aelwyn repeats. She feels stupid and bumbling and useless. She raises her hands just a hair. “I’m going to touch you now. I--I should guide your breathing. It will help the attack pass. You can follow me.”

Adaine is still skittish, looking ready to bolt at the first wrong move. Aelwyn telegraphs her movements as much as she can and manages to lay one hand lightly on her sister’s shoulder. She guides her sister’s hand to her own chest and lays it over her heartbeat. She mirrors this with her other hand, feels Adaine’s heartbeat fluttering wildly under her palm. Aelwyn suppresses a wince. She hopes her own heart is holding steady. It doesn’t feel like it. “Listen. You need to breathe normally, Adaine. I heard those videos you looked up--you’ve got breathing exercises, yes?”

Even if she doesn’t know any, Aelwyn does. Aelwyn spent four hours looking them up after Adaine’s first panic attack. She’s had them memorized for years.

Adaine nods jerkily and Aelwyn makes herself nod back. Her mouth is filled with cotton. Her ears are ringing. She takes a deep, deep breath, exaggerates as much as she can, and begins to count. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. After a few moments, it starts to calm even her, and Aelwyn’s eyes become half-lidded. The process is hypnotic and she breathes deliberately rhythmically, trying to push her calm into her sister through touch contact alone. Is there magic for situations like this? She’ll have to learn it if there is.

“Come along now, sister,” she murmurs on her fourth exhale. “Come along.”

Adaine’s ribs aren’t hitching anymore by the sixth exhale. By the eighth, her shoulders are relaxing. By the ninth, her pupils have expanded again and she’s not clutching at her blazer’s collar like it’s choking her. By the tenth round, she pulls away.

The sense of loss Aelwyn feels is idiotic, and so she chooses to ignore it.

“Thanks,” her sister whispers. Aelwyn feels her walls crumble just a bit more and has to bite her lip against the rush of emotions it brings. “Even--I mean, you're the reason it started but. You didn’t mean to, so. Thanks.”

At least Adaine feels as awkward as she does. Aelwyn nods stiffly and adjusts her own uniform. Her pride is in tatters but she clings to the scraps. She has work to get done. A sister to manipulate. A dragon to trick. Parents to impress.

Adaine turns her face away and Aelwyn knows she’s trying to wipe her tears away surreptitiously. She sees anyway. There’s a lump in her throat. Even as she lets the words flow from her mouth, as she draws Adaine into the web Goldenhoard and their parents have weaved around her all summer, Aelwyn feels the phantom beat of her sister’s heart under her fingers. She mentions the book and almost tells Adaine to keep it for herself. As Adaine turns her back and marches away, something broken and cold and long dead in Aelwyn’s chest perks its head up and watches her sister leave with--dare she say it--a warm protective feeling growing inside.

Something changes when Aelwyn redirects her sister’s spell back at her. She doesn't know exactly what yet.

41 notes · View notes

jlalafics · 4 years

Note

I’m torn between 7 & 13 so if you’re taking prompts still, you decide which you prefer 🥰

Why not both? ;)

______

7. “I almost lost you.”

13. “Kiss me.”

“Where is he?”

Gale stares at Katniss, resignation in his gaze. He knows that with the return of Peeta, his time with her is over. Truthfully, it was all a mistake; those small caresses…the kisses—and he knows it.

More than once, another voice fell from her lips whenever they were together.

“He’s in there with Haymitch,” he tells her.

Katniss can hear her heart beating in her ears as she approaches the closed door. She doesn’t know what to expect despite the numerous times that she watched him during those interviews with Caesar. Her chest aches recalling the last interview—right before the rescue—the pain in those blue eyes.

Blue eyes that she knows so well from long nights during the Victory Tour…eyes that watched over her in a cold cave…that stared at her emaciated form before throwing her burnt bread to save her family’s life.

Taking a deep breath, Katniss turns the knob, pushing the door open.

Haymitch meets her eyes and she can see relief in those usually burdened greys.

Her mentor approaches her, squeezing her shoulder.

“Be gentle with him,” Haymitch advises quietly. “He seems overwhelmed by everything…and he keeps asking about his family.”

The Mellarks perished with a majority of the citizens of District 12. The remaining people were all shuffled in with District 13 in this underground barracks.

Haymitch reaches the doorway and, with a final nod, closes the door.

Peeta is sitting on the exam table and she can see the heaviness in his shoulders, burdened by weeks of torture at the hands of Snow.

Katniss moves over to his front and approaches him carefully. He looks up at her steps and her breath hitches at the weariness of his eyes.

However, there is something else that she can’t quite catch…

“Peeta,” she breathes out.

He meets her stare, his expression calming at the sight of her. The relief at the look is palpable.

Her arms are suddenly around him, her nose pressing into his skinny shoulder and the rest of her trembling. His own arms wrap carefully around her.

“I..I almost lost you.”

Katniss pulls away, looking him over. Peeta is definitely in need of some weight gain and has obviously been roughed up. She can see that several hours…days of sleep would help because he looks like he could drop from exhaustion at any moment.

His hand reaches to brush away the tears that have unexpectedly filmed in her eyes. “Don’t cry.”

She lets out a laugh, happy to see that her kind Peeta is still in there.

“I must love you a lot,” Peeta continues in a whisper.

“You’ve never really said it,” Katniss replies. “I think that you did show it…more than I ever did.”

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly says.

“Why do you need to be sorry?”

Peeta looks to her shamefully.

“Because I don’t remember having such a pretty wife.”

Her whole body goes cold.

“Peeta, do you know my name?”

“No.” He is crestfallen, his arms encircling his thin frame. “I don’t know it. I’m so sorry!”

Katniss reaches for him, pulling him to her and he rests against her chest.

“It’s alright. We’ll figure it out…together.”

++++++

“The doctors are still running tests,” Haymitch tells her. They’re standing outside of Peeta’s room in the hospital sector. “So far, his MRI’s have come back clear, and his blood tests are fine.”

“He doesn’t remember me.” Katniss looks at the man in the hospital bed who is sitting with Prim. Peeta turns to her and gives her a smile. “He thinks we’re married—”

“Did you tell him that you aren’t?” he retorts. The look on her face brings a chuckle to his lips. “Looks like someone wants to believe it’s real.”

“Not funny, Haymitch.”

“I’ve talked to Johanna and Annie,” he continues, ignoring her ire. “They were all in the same place, though they were taken to another room during questioning. Right before our squad got them, Peeta was taken one last time, that’s possibly when they erased you.”

“Erased?” she repeated.

“I’ve talked to him. He remembers everything about District 12—except for you.”

“Why would Snow do this?”

There are several reasons, of course.

The first being that there would be no reason for Peeta to fight. She was really the only reason that he joined the Careers or volunteered for the Quarter Quell in Haymitch’s place.

The second reason is that Snow is trying to throw her off. He knows that taking Peeta’s memories of her will preoccupy her thoughts and deter her from fighting. She won’t want to leave him for missions—and he’s right, she doesn’t.

And the third, Haymitch says as she bites her lip anxiously.

“Because Snow knows that you would do anything to keep Peeta safe—including turning yourself over to him for a cure if it comes to that.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Katniss confirms.

Because she would do it in a heartbeat.

This is the worst time to realize that she might actually love Peeta Mellark.

++++++

“Why did we get married so quickly?”

The doctors advised Katniss to go along with the story, afraid that opposing the one thing that Peeta seems to believe will trigger a breakdown. Dr. Aurelius, District 13’s resident psychologist, has already met with Peeta once and has concluded that, even though he can’t remember her, Peeta trusts her.

The doctor tells her to go along with it until they’re sure that he’s stronger, mentally and physically.

Peeta has already watched snippets of their first time in the arena as well as the Quarter Quell. On screen, they do look like the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12, but he has no memory of the scenes playing in front of him. He doesn’t remember the weeks before the Quell was announced when he could barely look at her or her suggestion of getting married during the Victory Tour.

Or his unhappy acceptance when Katniss had brought it up. He wanted it to be real.

Now, she wishes it had been.

“Because we didn’t want to wait,” she answers as they walk along the corridors where the resident barracks are. “We were going into the arena and we were scared of what might happen. So, we decided to have a toasting—”

“Was it nice?”

Katniss smiles. “It was.” She lets her mind wander into what might have happened. “Haymitch and your father were our witnesses at the Justice Building. My mother and Prim made us dinner and your brothers made us a wedding cake.” She swallows down her guilt. “You made our toasting bread.”

“It sounds beautiful.” Peeta stops, his hands going to her shoulders, and she is filled with an inexplicable warmth. “I wish I could remember.” He meets her eyes, concern in his stare. “I saw something else…my interview with Caesar before the Quell—”

He looks down at her abdomen.

“I-I lost it.” She’s practically choking on her lies. “With you gone and the stress after the Quell, it was just too much.”

“You would’ve been a good mother,” he assures her.

The question comes out tightly. “How would you know?”

“I watched the part in the Games with Rue...” Peeta moves closer. So close that she starts to notice things. Like the small scar on his cheek or the slight freckling on his nose. He still smells sweet despite not being anywhere near the Mellark Bakery. “You took care of her.”

“She took care of me,” she replies, swiping at her eyes.

“Prim told me about how you volunteered for her,” he persists. “She says you took care of her, even though you were a kid yourself.”

Katniss doesn’t know how it happens, but she finds herself in his arms as her arms wrap around his own waist.

“Do you know that you saved my life…my family’s life when we were kids?” she says, her cheek against his chest. “You threw a loaf of burnt bread to me. We were starving and that fed my mother so that she could give Prim milk. It fed me after everything ran out in our pantry.”

He rasps at her words. “I bet my mom really enjoyed that.”

“Not really. The next time I saw you, you were sporting a bruise on your face.”

“Sounds about right.” Peeta holds her tightly and she calms in his embrace. “I don’t mind if it meant I kept you alive.”

How could he still care so much about her?

‘Because he doesn’t know who you really are’, a voice inside says.

Katniss closes her eyes, afraid that the truth will come seeping out of her.

“You would have been a good father,” she tells him instead.

++++++

“I’m lying to him, Prim.”

Katniss sits on what used to be her bed. Peeta has been moved out of the hospital sector and they are given a residence of their own. Dr. Aurelius insists that she continues to pretend that they are married, that she continues to act like she loves the man lying next to her in bed.

The tests continue to come out clean, no sign of brain trauma. The doctors can only conclude that it is some sort of conditioning that the Capitol put him through.

“It’s for his own good,” Prim replies pragmatically as she folds her newly laundered uniforms. “I’ve read about cases like his. We need to give him time to settle, then slowly bring him to terms with the truth. If you try to tell him too much, he could regress.”

“You’ve read about this? You’re only fourteen, Prim,” Katniss says. “You’re not supposed to be reading psych cases.”

“Then what I am supposed to be doing?” she questions. “There is a rebellion happening. You are the symbol of it. I need to help in any way I can. If that means working on the medical team to help my brother-in-law, then so be it.”

“I feel guilty, Prim,” Katniss admits softly. “And…I care for him.”

Prim stops mid-fold and looks to her, a small grin on her lips. “Just care?”

“I can’t let it go any further than that,” she tells her. “The guilt would kill me. I also think about everything that we went through before that. The Peeta I remember was so angry at me for pretending it was real, yet he still forgave me. He wouldn’t forgive me for this.”

Prim sits down next to her. “May I suggest something?” Katniss nods. “Start clean.”

“What do you mean?”

“You two get a chance to start anew,” her sister says. “Become his friend…maybe more if it works out like that. I think that this might be good for your relationship.”

“What relationship? We don’t know anything about each other,” Katniss scoffs.

Prim looks to her, a slight smile on her lips. “Exactly.”

++++++

Peeta and Katniss sit together in the mess hall at a table away from everyone else.

However, not one to be deterred, Johanna joins them, sitting uncomfortably close to Peeta.

Katniss glares at the woman who cackles at her expression.

“We’re friends, Mrs. Mellark. We had cells near one another in the Capitol.”

Peeta looks to Katniss, reaching underneath the table to take her hand and give it a squeeze. She calms down immediately, taking a deep breath, and stretching her mouth into a semblance of a smile.

“You’re always welcome to sit with us,” she says through clenched teeth.

Johanna smirks. “Thank you.” She puts an arm around Peeta’s shoulder. “So did the wife give you a proper welcome home?”

Katniss could feel the heat on her face. Everyone had been advised to pretend that she and Peeta are married, for the sake of his mental health. Johanna was one of those who opposed to the idea though after a talk with the medical team, she finally agreed to the charade.

It didn’t mean that she would allow Katniss to get away with it so easily.

“Johanna,” Peeta starts calmly. “It’s only been a month since we’ve been rescued, and Katniss is busy with her missions. We’re not…ready.”

“We’re starting with a clean slate,” Katniss adds.

Annie and Finnick join them, trays in their grasp. However, as they sit down, they join hands using each of their free ones to pick at their meals. Katniss can’t help but feel a little envious of their closeness. She’s never thought about how it feels to be so connected to someone and there’s something inside that hungers for it.

‘Him! He could give you what you need!’, that voice inside her screams.

“But you sleep in the same bed, right?” Johanna questions.

She says it just as Gale and Prim join them.

Prim sits next to her sister, while her grey-eyed friend chooses the spot across.

Katniss can’t bring herself to look at Gale; if she did, she would probably see him glaring or pouting—both would be equally annoying.

“Yes,” she chokes out. “What of it?”

“I’m surprised that Coin hasn’t demanded a little Rebellion baby,” she taunts. “Aren’t we all just part of this little plan of hers? We were rescued…and Katniss does those stupid little propos…what better way than to start a new generation of District 13 soldiers for her cause?”

Katniss stands up, slamming her tray on the metal table in anger. “Stop!”

Johanna merely smirks and for a second, Katniss envisions herself stabbing the woman with her fork.

Instead, she turns to Peeta. “I’m going to our room. Take your time.”

He nods, taking her hand to kiss the top of it as he glares at Johanna.

Turning away, Katniss rushes towards the nearest exit corridor. Why did she let Johanna get to her? She can usually take the woman’s biting words—

“Katniss.”

She turns to see Gale slowing down in front of her.

“It was uncalled for—what Johanna was saying. This lie though—you being Peeta’s wife and being in love with him? How is it going to feel when he finally knows the truth?”

“Don’t you think that I worry about that every time I’m with him?”

Katniss steps towards her friend and can see the longing still there in his eyes. However, the depth of her feelings for Gale aren’t even close to what she feels for Peeta.

“It kills me to know that he could just go right back to hating me! Especially since I’m in—”

Gale steps back, pain in his eyes. “Shit Katniss, did you feel anything for me?”

She straightens herself before meeting his stare.

“Not the way you wanted.”

++++++

Katniss and Peeta lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to look at one another.

When she returned to their room, she took a quick nap before meeting with Coin. The silver-haired woman had quickly checked-in about Peeta before announcing that Katniss would be taking a trip to District 8 to their hospital.

Peeta would stay as he was deemed not ready.

He is there when she returns, apologizing for Johanna’s crassness. Katniss holds him tight, the conversation lingering in her mind.

They haven’t been—she cringes at the word—intimate.

It seemed a lot easier when they were fearing for their lives for them to just kiss.

Now they share a room and a bed, and it feels like they’re a million miles apart.

“I’m going to District 8 tomorrow,” she says suddenly. “Coin wants me to visit their hospital.”

Peeta shifts, looking to her. “Will you promise to be safe?”

She turns to meet his eyes. “Would you believe me if I did?”

He laughs wryly and Katniss shifts to lay her head on his chest.

“Probably not. My wife has a penchant for running into dangerous situations.”

“You had a tendency to follow me,” she retorts.

“Obviously, I’m an idiot,” Peeta tells her. “Why would I follow a beautiful woman into a deathtrap?” He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Oh, now I remember…”

Katniss turns her head, her chin on his chest. “What do you remember?”

“Nothing really. I just imagine that I would’ve followed the woman I love anywhere.”

She nods, stamping down her disappointment. “Oh.”

“You sound upset,” Peeta says. He sits up, resting back against the wall and she follows. “I know that this is hard on you. I’m not the husband that you had—”

“No!” Biting her lip anxiously, Katniss tries to find her words. “I guess I’m just reeling from Johanna’s words. Somehow, she always knows how to hit you where it hurts.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you,” he admits. “I just didn’t know if you’d let me.”

“Um…you’re my husband. Why wouldn’t I want you to?”

They inch closer together.

When they look to one another, they’re only a lean-in away from a kiss.

So, Katniss leans in—

Peeta suddenly draws back, his face going white.

Ow, that hurt.

She gives him a shaky smile. “You aren’t ready—”

“No! Something happened to me, like my body instinctively just pulled away!” Peeta is panicked, his blue eyes pleading with her to understand. “There is nothing I want more than to kiss you.”

Katniss nods. “Let me try.”

Her hands reached to his face and, taking a breath, she dips her mouth towards his—

The pain is electric, and she draws back, her fingers going to her lips. “Ow!”

“Are you okay?” Peeta reaches to take her hand away from her mouth. “What happened?”

Katniss frowns. “It hurt.” The sensation still lingers on her lips like a slow spreading flame. “We should go to the medical ward.”

“It’s late,” Peeta replies. “You have a mission tomorrow and you need to rest.”

“Why aren’t you worried about this?” she demands to know.

Her husband chuckles. His blue eyes glowing at the sight of her all agitated.

“Because there are other places that I can kiss you,” he answers.

Peeta brushes his lips against her forehead and there is no instinct to push away.

She, however, feels the kiss all the way to her toes.

“See? We’re in the safe zone.”

He continues down to her cheeks, smacking each one with a loud smack that causes her to laugh. Then, his lips are on her jaw…in the crook of her neck and she moans when he nips her earlobe. She never realized how that one spot could cause her whole body to uncoil.

“Should I keep going?” Peeta asks, his voice husky. “Will you allow it?”

There’s still a little bit of the old him in there; the one that remembers her.

Her hand reaches to the bottom of her shirt, pulling it over her head eagerly. “Yes.”

He kisses his way down until she is crying out his name, his face between her thighs.

Katniss sleeps soundly until her alarm sounds and she must regretfully leave her husband with a kiss to his bare shoulder.

++++++

Katniss finds herself shaking horribly—or is it the hovercraft?

Boggs is sitting next to her, his dark eyes staring at her in concern.

“Katniss, there was nothing you could have done,” he tells her.

“I shouldn’t have gone,” she replies tonelessly. “It was the perfect countermove to get the rest of Panem to hate me.”

“Your message to the citizens counteracts that,” Cressida assures her from her seat, across from Katniss. She had been introduced to the woman during a previous mission along with her assistant Messalla and her two cameramen, Castor and Pollux. “Remember that people out there still believe in you.”

“Those people are dead.” She hangs her head between her legs. “I can still see them in front of me…”

Everyone goes silent as Katniss draws in her breaths, trying to keep her thoughts intact. Her eyes go briefly to Gale, who has not said one word to her.

They aren’t friends anymore. They’re comrades—and she finds that it doesn’t sting like she expected it to.

The hovercraft enters District 13 and she is eager to leave, bouncing in her seat.

They have made a full stop and she jumps from her seat as the ramp lowers—

Peeta is waiting for her, along with Haymitch and a stoic Coin.

However, Katniss sees only him, and she is running down the ramp until she is in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

He presses kisses to the top of her head…her forehead…her cheeks…that one area behind her ear that causes her to come undone—

“Ahem.”

They turn to see Coin watching them, a calculating look on her face. Haymitch smirks seeing Katniss’ very public show of affection while Boggs look on in amusement. Cressida’s team is to the side as she directs them on the best shot of ‘The Star-Crossed Lovers’.

Gale stands back before heading towards the barracks, but not before getting a gentle pat to his shoulder by Coin.

“I’m so sorry about the hospital,” Peeta says, his eyes trained on her. “When Haymitch told me that there was an attack…I thought I lost you.”

“I’m here,” she breathes against his shoulder.

“I’m glad that you’re back safely, Katniss,” Coin suddenly says as she approaches them. “I’m sorry to hear about the losses.” She looks between herself and Peeta. “I’ve talked to the medical team and I feel that Peeta is ready to join you when you go to the Capitol.”

Katniss looks to the woman incredulously. “Are you sure?”

“Snow believes that he holds the cards because of what he’s done to Peeta,” Coin continues. “Seeing you two together will show him and the Capitol that you two have overcome. That, despite him erasing Peeta’s memories, he is still the enemy.”

“Peeta isn’t ready,” she insists.

“Well, it’s not your call,” the women tells her. “You and your husband will be ready in two days to travel to the Capitol.”

Coin turns, exciting the landing area, without even looking back.

“Katniss…” She turns to Peeta at his call. “I don’t want to be here without you. Waiting here after hearing about District 8—it was the worst feeling in the world. Even worse than realizing that Snow erased you from my mind.”

“Also, we’ve talked to the doctors about what happened to you two…last night,” Haymitch suddenly says. “Peeta didn’t want to wait on finding out and it kept him distracted after you left.”

“And what did they say?” Katniss asks eagerly.

“Let’s go to your room and we can talk over their theory,” their mentor suggests, looking around. “Away from the cameras.”

++++++

“I explained what happened to the medical team as well as to Dr. Aurelius,” Peeta starts as soon as they are back in their room. “I told them about my negative body reaction as well as what happened when you attempted to kiss me.”

“I should also tell you that Dr. Aurelius feels it isn’t in your best interest to mention this to Coin,” Haymitch interjects.

It just confirms Katniss’ distrust of the woman; there is something not quite right and instinctually she has had her guard up.

“They believe that your kiss is probably a trigger,” Peeta says with a sigh.

“I don’t understand.”

“It means that, if we were to kiss, it could trigger some sort of psychological reaction,” he tells her, his eyes full of pain. “And no one knows if it will be a positive or negative one.”

She looks to him. “What do they mean by negative reaction?”

“A couple of things they suggested were that I could become violent towards you, even attempt to kill you, or my memory is completely wiped out. Not just of you, but of my whole life. I could possibly become incapacitated, just a shell of a person.”

This can’t be possible, but she pushes forward.

“And, the positive reactions?”

“I could get my full memory back,” Peeta continues. “Or, there is no change, whatsoever.”

“So, we have one good reaction, one neutral, and too many negatives,” Katniss concludes. She shakes her head. “No. We’re not taking that chance.”

“I told you she wouldn’t be happy,” Haymitch says.

She turns to glare at the man. “Can you please give us some privacy?”

“Don’t kill the messenger…or the guy who went with the messenger,” Haymitch mutters. “Keep me posted, you two.” He pats Katniss’ shoulder. “I’m sorry about District 8.”

He leaves them alone to contemplate Peeta’s news.

“I know that this is scary to hear,” Peeta tells her. “The odds aren’t in my favor.”

She glares at him. “But…?”

“I think it’s a chance that I need to take.”

Katniss stands up, turning away from him.

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is.” His arms wrap around her, his chest pressing into her back. “What if it unlocks something important?”

“And, what if it doesn’t?” She turns to him, almost pleading for him to change his mind. “What if you become violent, or you lose all of your memory? What if you become a vegetable?” Her eyes shut, imprisoning the tears threatening to escape. “I couldn’t take it, Peeta! I couldn’t…”

Peeta embraces her, kissing the top of her head.

“If I was any of those things, would you abandon me?”

“Never,” she says into the crook of his neck.

“Then, I will be alright,” he assures her.

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” Katniss wipes her nose against his shirt. “That’s supposed to be my job.”

“I guess I learned from the best.” Peeta gazes at her tenderly. “We have to go on this mission in two days and I can’t be the weak link. If something were to happen because of me, I couldn’t live with myself. I need to do this…because we lost a lot of people…I lost my whole family because of Snow.”

“You have me!” she persists. “Am I not enough?”

“More than enough!” he replies, his voice raised. “Our children, Katniss! Do you want our children to be born during a war?”

“And, if we never get that chance?” Katniss’ voice breaks and she can’t believe what she’s about to say. “What if something happens to you and our children have no father?”

“Why are we even talking about this right now?” Peeta suddenly asks her. “Do you want to try to get pregnant?” A smirk rises on his lips. “I mean, it’s been how long since—”

She stares at him in confusion—is this man seriously trying to suggest sex in the middle of an argument?

Katniss sighs.

Doctors be damned.

“I need to tell you something,” she tells him. “And it will likely change your mind about children. It will change your mind about me.”

Katniss sits down on their bed, patting the spot next to her.

Peeta joins her, taking her hands in his. “What is it?”

“We aren’t married, Peeta,” she confesses, feeling the weight of truth lift off her shoulders. “In fact, we weren’t even really a couple. You see, in the first Games we were in…”

Katniss goes on to explain how Haymitch told her to capitalize on the whole ‘Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12’ idea and how it would save their lives due to their popularity. How she convinced the world that she was in love with him and that Peeta had loved her back—until he realized the ruse. How he had been angry at her before the Victory Tour and then how they subsequently tried to form a partnership.

She told him how she had suggested that get married because it would convince Snow that their relationship was genuine.

Katniss can’t bring herself to look at him as she continues onto the Quarter Quell. She stammers through explaining the kiss on the beach.

“It was the first time I really ever wanted something…and someone.” Katniss looks up to find his eyes on her, his expression unreadable. “Then we were separated, and you were taken to the Capitol. I was brought here.”

“Why would you lie about being married to me?” he asks gruffly.

“When you saw me, you thought I was your wife,” she replies helplessly. “And I didn’t disagree with you. Then, the medical team and Dr. Aurelius decided that we should keep letting you believe that it was true. We didn’t want to risk you possibly having some sort of breakdown.”

“If we never found out about this trigger, were you going to just keep lying to me?”

“I don’t know.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “I’d like to think that—one day, when this is all over—that I would tell you. Because you deserve nothing but the truth.”

They lapse into a silence, the weight of her words filling the air around them.

Katniss knows that she’s lost him.

However, he was never hers to begin with.

“I have one more question.” She looks to him, waiting for anger. “When all is said and done, do you still love me?”

“I thought we just talked about this. It was all for show—the relationship, the marriage, the baby—"

“Bullshit.” Peeta chuckles wryly. “I watched those snippets when it was just us and you can’t fake emotion like that. I can tell when you’re lying. Even now—” His hand reaches to cup her the back of her head so he can look at her straight on. “I can say for certain that you feel something for me. It’s all there—in your eyes.”

“I do.” It comes out in a gasp. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time and I’ll keep loving you after all of this.”

They fall into each other’s embrace, kissing every inch of exposed skin.

Katniss cries against his shoulder, knowing that there isn’t going to be a discussion on what needs to happen.

Peeta has already made his choice.

His hands cup her cheeks and he presses one last kiss to her forehead, his eyes glistening with love…and fear…and hope…

‘Till death do us part’, she promises to herself.

“Katniss,” he whispers, his mouth inching towards hers. “Kiss me.”

So, she does.

FIN.

*I’m going to run and hide now.

#rosegardeninwinter #Everlark Fanfiction #Everlark #In District 13 Everlark #Mockingjay AU

112 notes · View notes

comicgeekscomicgeek · 3 years

Text

Their Hero Academia - Chapter 72: Summer Shorts Part 1

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

Shota Shinso in Student-Teacher Conference

At the knocking at his apartment door, Shota Shinso paused the video he’d been watching, a special counting down the top ten most amazing Hero battles from the previous year. The votes for the battles had come from an online poll, which he’d voted in, so they were probably a little on the biased side rather than being truly objective or anything like that. But he had to admit that most of the ones which had made the cut were the same ones he would have chosen.

Unsurprisingly, Uncle Izuku had made the list twice, for his fights against Doom-Fist and the Maximums. Shoto was on the list two times as well; Ingenium and Gale Force had both made it on there once, as had Kestrel and Rodeo. Red Riot and Real Steel shared a spot on the list. And then there had been Ground Zero’s battle against Megastorm…

He’d had to fast forward through that. It had sent his mind flashing back to the day of the Nomu attack. He’d heard the sounds of tearing flesh and the Nomu’s terrible scream. His hands had felt wet with Ground Zero’s blood as he’d desperately tried to provide what first aid he could. His nostrils had filled with the coppery smell…

It had taken everything he had not to scream and destroy the apartment. At least with Mom and Dad both at work, there hadn’t been anyone else around to see.

He’d been doing so well. He’d actually passed his exams at school and made good use of his Quirk during the Heroics final exam. He was able to be around Kirishima-Bakugo without flinching or expecting her to be mad at him. He only had nightmares about it every so often.

He hadn’t counted on what actually seeing Ground Zero would do to him. Shota had been doing a good job of keeping himself from thinking about him. He’d hidden away his Ground Zero posters, statues, toys, and other merchandise. He’d set his phone and internet browser to screen any mention of him. If he kept himself from thinking about Ground Zero, then he could keep himself from thinking about what happened.

Shota knew what happened wasn’t his fault. He’d been told that often enough now, had enough therapy that he could say it without feeling like it was a lie. But it was still like standing on the edge of a cliff. Somedays, it didn’t take much to send him over the edge.

Dumb, really. He should have expected that Ground Zero would have been in such a video. His fights had always been amazing to watch. His Quirk, his strength, his skill, all of it was… had been simply amazing.

And maybe he wouldn’t be anymore.

Because of him.

Dang it, he was supposed to be moving past this!

He shut his eyes right for a moment, doing the calming exercises Hound Dog had taught him. Deep breaths. Focus his thoughts on where he was, what he could see. Whoever was at the door knocked again, and his eyes snapped open as he got off the couch. “Coming!” he called out.

He opened the door before they could knock again.

“Hey, kid. Can we talk?”

…It was Ground Zero.

***

The park near his apartment was busy today, with lots of kids playing around, happy and carefree. He could see a group of elementary school-age kids using their Quirks to keep a Frisbee up in the air. One had some kind of wind Quirk, another an arm-stretching Quirk, and the third and fourth, who looked like twins, seemed to have some kind of telekinetic push and pull Quirks. He smiled, remembering doing the same kinds of games with Toshi, Shinji, Izumi, and the others as a kid. Of course, there was the time he’d hit the Frisbee with a sonic blast and knocked it out of the park…

Maybe they ought to bring that back. It’d be a fun game and good Quirk training!

He and Ground Zero sat on a bench, eating the ice cream they’d bought. Though lots of Pro Heroes, especially the Top Ten, went out in some measure of disguise when they were off the clock, Ground Zero didn’t bother. He was very good at radiating “keep at least three meters away from me if you know what’s good for you vibes.” It was something his daughter was also extremely good at.

Ground Zero clearly wanted to talk, but Shota didn’t have any idea what it was about. It was all he could do to keep from shaking and panicking. The ice cream gave him something to be present in the moment in, something else Hound Dog had taught him to do when he thought he was going to have a panic attack.

“So,” he said quietly, “you wanted to talk?”

Ground Zero took a moment, as though sizing him up, then nodded. “How you doing, kid? Katsumi says you did pretty good during the exam.” His voice lacked some of its usual hard edge. The question sounded sincere.

Kirishima-Bakugo had talked about him? And said he’d done good? He wouldn’t have expected that. Shota nodded. “It was really nuts! Uncle Shota got actual bad guys to fight us! Even Shadow-Thief! Boy though, did Mom and Dad give him an earful about that! Mom really doesn’t like her for some reason, maybe because Dad says she used to try and flirt with him whenever he’d try and catch her, but that’s silly, because they’ve been married forever now… But yeah, I was one of the last ones left standing, and we zapped the big guy really good….”

It had made him feel like he could actually do something right. It was a good feeling. He’d actually helped his friends when it had really counted.

“That’s good,” Ground Zero said, more indulgently than most adults did when he went on about something. “Sounds like you really kicked their asses.”

Shota actually laughed a little bit at that. Ground Zero definitely had a way with words. “Yeah, I guess we did.” He frowned a little. “What… what about you? Are you doing okay?”

Ground Zero went quiet for a moment, before he went on. “Getting better every day,” he said. “Physical therapy three times a week. Hasn’t been the challenge yet that can beat me. Glasses and Tintin’s wives are working on a better prosthetic. I’ll be kicking ass again before you can blink.”

It sounded reassuring. But it was still a challenge he wouldn’t have been facing if it hadn’t been for Shota. If he hadn’t been trying to keep him safe… Ground Zero looked down for a moment, at his leg, then over at Shota, then sighed. “You know this isn’t your fault, right, kid?”

Shota frowned. He closed his eyes. “Sometimes,” he said after a moment. “Maybe not all the time. But it’s hard not to think it was.”

“It wasn’t,” Ground Zero repeated, more forcefully this time. He tossed the remains of his ice cream in the trash and put a hand on Shota’s shoulder. His grip was firm and strong. “Look at me, kid.” He didn’t speak again until Shota was looking him in the eyes, something that took more willpower than he thought he had.

“Listen,” Ground Zero said. “You, Shota Shinso, are not to blame for what happened to me. Not one damn percent. You got that? Whatever sick f—er, bastard made that damn monster is to blame, not you.”

Shota nodded, mutely. He’d been told that so many times, from so many people. Some days, he believed it. Ground Zero though, was one of the most direct and honest people he knew. If he blamed Shota, he’d have no problem letting him know. If he didn’t blame him, maybe there was some truth to it.

“Good,” Ground Zero told him. “And anytime that thought starts running through your head, I want you to punch it, hard, for me. You picture it, shout kill and let it have it. You got that?”

He nodded again, his head bobbing up and down quickly. He could do that!

Ground Zero looked him over again. He let out a puff of breath. “Look… I ain’t good with words. So maybe I’m not gonna tell this real well, but… Listen, I have been exactly where you are.”

“You?” Shota asked. “But you’re Ground Zero! You’re not afraid of anything! You’re the most confident Hero ever!”

Ground Zero shook his head. “You remember Kamino? All Might’s last fight with that masked potato-faced freak?”

Who hadn’t heard of that? Uncle Izuku had told the story plenty of times of how he and his friends had gone to rescue Ground Zero from the League of Villains, while All Might had battled his long-time enemy. It was the climax of all kinds of documentaries about All Might’s career. Everyone who was around and aware then had a story about where they were when they saw it happen. They studied it in school! He’d seen the video hundreds of times! Shota nodded again.

“I went through the same thing you’re going through,” Ground Zero said. He gazed off into the distance. “I blamed myself for causing All Might’s retirement. I thought if I hadn’t been so weak, hadn’t screwed up and gotten captured, he wouldn’t have had to use up the last of his strength to save me. I blamed myself, for weeks. Without even realizing it, it affected everything I did. I was even nastier and louder and angrier than usual. I was such a shit, I’m amazed any of my friends stuck around. But after I failed the Provisional License Exam, well… let’s just say it took Deku beating some sense into me for me to realize what I’d been carrying around.”

“Really?” Shota asked. He’d never heard this one before! “Uncle Izuku never said anything about that! And you always seem so confident! But you… you blamed yourself too?”

He knew Heroes got scared sometimes. Uncle Izuku had talked about it, so had Uncle Denki, even Uncle Inasa had. Uncle Shota even said that fear was a logical response sometimes. And he knew they had doubts and worries. But of all the Heroes in the world, he never would have expected Ground Zero would!

“Yeah, I did. And there’s still times where I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been such an arrogant dumbass back then.” He looked over and smiled a bittersweet smile, then gave Shota’s hair an affectionate tussle. “So don’t go letting me hear you needed Toshi or Katsumi or somebody to beat you up, okay? There’s nothing wrong with needing help. Hell, you start feeling down, you call me, day or night, okay?”

Shota nodded rapidly again, the bad thoughts banished for the moment. He knew they’d be back. “Okay!”

Seemingly satisfied with that, Ground Zero nodded. “Which is kind of why I wanted to talk to you in the first place, kid. You know how All Might’s taking over from Nedzu as principal?”

“Oh yeah!” Shota said. “He’s gonna be really awesome at it, I just know it! He said he might still teach a few classes, but that we’re gonna get a new Heroics’ teacher! He said they were looking into some people, but he didn’t really know who it was going to be…”

Ground Zero cleared his throat and interrupted him. “It’s going to be me.”

“Oh, wow!” Shota said. It was only then that he realized what Ground Zero had actually said. “Wait, what?”

A smile passed over the Hero’s face. “It’s gonna be me. All Might offered me the job before you all went off to Ponytail’s island.”

“Oooh,” Shota said. “You’d be really good at that! I learned a whole bunch when I was your Intern! And Kirishima-Bakugo’s really super talented, so you must have taught her a whole lot too, and you’re one of the most awesome Heroes around, with one of the best fight records and…”

Ground Zero held up his hands. “Breathe, kid. Breathe. I know I’m pretty awesome. So you’re damn right I’ll be a damn good teacher. Even if I have to drag some of your classmates forward kicking and screaming.”

Shota didn’t know who that would be. All his friends and classmates worked so hard and had such amazing Quirks! “But… why would you want to talk to me about that?” he asked. He wasn’t family or anything.

Ground Zero gave him a small, sympathetic smile. “Because I knew you were probably still blaming yourself. Even though I told you not to. I didn’t know how you’d take it if you had to see me every day.”

“What?” Shota asked. The question didn’t make any sense.

“Kid,” Ground Zero said patiently, “you practically had a damn panic attack when I showed up at your door. You’re going to be seeing me every Heroics Class if I take this job.” He tapped his knuckles against his knee. It made a small metallic clang. “And you’ll be thinking about this.”

“That’s not,” he started to say, but stopped himself. He can’t help but stare now, his eyes wide and wet. What if Ground Zero was right? “Maybe.”

This got him a nod. “That’s what I thought. But here’s the deal. If I’m going to be a teacher, then I’ve gotta look out for my students first. Which means I have to look out for you, before I even teach a single class.”

Shota felt his eyes growing wet. “But… but…”

“Aw, for the love of…” Ground Zero started, waving his hands rapidly. “Don’t cry, kid! I cannot deal with crying! You’re worse than Deku, I swear…!”

Shota sucked in a breath and fought back his tears. He couldn’t just cry like that in front of one of his heroes! He wasn’t a baby, even if he was a little younger than all his classmates. He was training to be a Hero. He had to be strong!

Ground Zero was being a Hero. He was thinking of someone else, Shota, putting his needs first, even if it meant he didn’t get to be a teacher. Shota… Shota couldn’t take that away from him! And he’d be a good teacher too, he knew it!

And if he knew what to expect… then maybe he could be ready for it! He could psyche himself up! Hound Dog said that getting in the right mind space was important! He’d even know him all kinds of exercises for how to do it.

“A Hero’s got to be brave,” he said finally. “I can be brave too!” He was almost sure he meant it. He could do it! He could do it! He was getting better every day! He had his bad days, but maybe if he really worked on it…

Then Ground Zero held his gaze and if Shota hadn’t known his Quirk was Explosion, he would have been certain he was reading his mind. “All right,” he said. “I believe you. But I’m going to be watching you. And I’m going to hold you to telling me if you start having trouble, got it? You’re going to be a damn good Hero someday, kid. Especially with me in your corner.”

***

Chihiro Kaminari in Kiss and Make Up

“Chihiro! Chihiro! Watch! Watch me!”

Chihiro looked over to where her eight year old sister, Hikari, was playing on the monkey bars. The purple-haired girl was hanging on by one hand, her other limbs dangling in the air. “Okay, okay,” she said, “I’m watching.”

“Okay… Watch!” Hikari released all her fingers and Chihiro’s heart lurched. If her little sister got hurt on her watch, she was going to be in a load of trouble! She started rushing forward only to realize that Hikari wasn’t falling. Despite her fingers not touching anything, her palm was still flat against the bar and she wasn’t falling.

Chihiro’s Cords perked up as she got closer, tiny sparks dancing along their tips. There was enough electricity flying about that she could feel it. The fact that Hikari’s hair was standing straight up was another clue. She crossed her arms. “Let me guess, Spark Plug,” she said. “You’re using your Quirk?”

“Yep!” Hikari said proudly. “Daddy and I worked real hard on this one!”

Hikari’s Quirk was called Static. It let her absorb ambient static electricity and release it and apparently also stick to things with it like a balloon. She had to laugh a little bit though. She and Dad had certainly driven Mon to yelling at them more times than she could count for doing dumb things with their own Quirks. Her younger brother Reylo got yelled at less often, but only because his Quirk was sound-based and Dad couldn’t teach him anything dangerous.

Chihiro gave her a thumb’s up. “Cool trick,” she said. But she noticed that Hikari’s hair was starting to settle back down. Her Cords were starting to spark less too. She took a few steps forward and held out her arms, letting Hikari fall into them.

“Off!” Hikari said, looking surprised and annoyed. “How come I fell?”

“Ran out of juice,” Chihiro told her. “You don’t make your own electricity, remember?”

“Oh. Right! I knew that.”

Chihiro just laughed again and set Hikari down on the ground, letting her run off to the next piece of playground equipment. Well, at least her little brother Reylo had half a brain. One Kaminari ought to have at least half a chance.

“Stay where I can see you!” she called out. “And that goes for you two too!”

She looked over to where her other charges (Heh. Charges. Why was she always this funny when no one else was around?), a small brown-haired girl and a blond boy: Mako Midoriya and Tai Kirishima-Bakugo, both five years old. When the kids’ regular sitter had bailed, she’d volunteered to watch them. She was already watching Hikari anyway and didn’t have any plans. Plus she was getting two thousand yen each for the two of them. They gave her a friendly wave.

There were also, she would readily admit, advantages to living in a gated community, including a private playground. Almost all the families that lived here were Pro-Heroes, though there were also a few Support Company officers, and a few other careers, such as Mom’s split career as Hero and musician. The kids certainly seemed to enjoy it anyway. She’d already been ten by the time they’d moved in and was starting to get too “cool” for that kind of thing.

Of course, to hear Mom tell it, the reason they bought the house was all Dad’s fault. Dad had brought home a Great Dane puppy instead of groceries… somehow. Since Sparky was going to quickly get too big for their apartment, so they’d gone house shopping. Of course, to hear Dad tell it, Kirishima-Bakugo’s dad had nearly flipped a gasket when he’d found out they were going to be neighbors…

Chihiro let a smile spread across her face as she watched the kids play. Hikari was making herself dizzy, spinning around on the merry-go-round, while Mako and Tai were playing on the teeter-totter. It was nice. Peaceful even. She could quietly zone out just a little bit.

“Stuck on kid duty too, Kaminari?”

Taken by complete surprise, she let out a cry of alarm as she turned. Her Cords shot out and unleashed a mild pulse of electricity the second they made contact with… something.

“AAAAGGGGGGGGGGG!””

Shiro Monoma hit the ground with a small thump.

***

“You killed him!” Hikari shouted. “Mom and Dad are gonna be so mad!”

Chihiro shot her sister a fierce look. “No, I didn’t!” she protested. But as she quickly turned her attention back to Monoma, she wasn’t so sure.

“He’s still breathing,” Monoma’s younger sibling said, sounding disinterested. Takeru, right. That was their name. And non-binary too. Important to remember. Chihiro thought they were the same age as Tai and Mako, but they sounded like they were going on forty. They gave him a look which suggested they’d long grown bored with seeing accidental misfortunes befall their older brother.

“She really made him go zap!” Mako said. “He lifted up and then… Bzzzzt!” As she talked, her hands copied the motions Monoma had gone through.

“Yeah!” Tai agreed. “I saw sparks! It was so cool!”

Chihiro gulped and looked down at Monoma. He was still breathing. That was good. She probably hadn’t hit him with that many volts. He’d just surprised her.

“It’s not my fault!” she said, throwing her hands up in the air as she paced back and forth. “He snuck up on me!”

“Uhhh.” A noise from Monoma caught her attention instantly. His eyes fluttered open. How could someone be electrocuted, fall in the grass, and still be so damn pretty? Especially while wearing a t-shirt and shorts? “What hit me?”

“You snuck up on her and she electrocuted you,” Takeru told him flatly.

“I did no such thing!” Monoma protested. He ignored her hand up in favor of bouncing to his feet under his own power, dusting himself off once he landed.

“You were doing that thing where you don’t make any noise,” Takeru said. “No wonder she didn’t hear you coming.”

“Yeah!” Chihiro said, pointing at him. Maybe she could spin this as his fault after all! “Why do you gotta ninja around all the time?!”

Monoma seemed offended at that, putting a hand to his chest. “I did no such thing! I do not “ninja around!’” He wilted under her glare ever so slightly, however. “Well… perhaps I do have a bit of a silent tread. I can apologize for that, at least. I’m sorry.”

Great, how was she supposed to be mad at him when he was apologizing? Completely unfair! She didn’t want to be thinking about him at all! “Yeah, well…,” she said, “I probably shouldn’t have zapped you. You okay?”

He produced a flick comb from his pocket and fixed his hair. “No harm done, I suppose,” Monoma said.

Chihiro realized the children were all watching them still. “Okay kids,” she said, waving her hands vaguely in the direction of the playground. “Show’s over. Go play!”

Hikari crossed her arms. “Aw, I wanted to see you zap him again!”

“Go!” Chihiro repeated, pointing more dramatically this time. Her little sister turned tail at that. Meanwhile, Takeru was being dragged off by Mako and Tai under half-hearted protests.

“So…,” she ventured, looking back at Monoma. This was definitely awkward. Why the hell didn’t she keep the kids around? Now all she could think about was how he’d kissed her and how Mika had said she should date him! Maybe she should shock him again, run away, move to a new city, start a new life on the run singing for coins on street corners…

Okay, maybe not that bad.

“Um, yes,” Monoma said, and she was somehow glad to see the awkwardness was mutual. It was so rare to see him as anything less than composed that she considered it a victory even in embarrassment.

And then he said the most dangerous words of all.

“Can we talk?”

***

They were far enough away that they wouldn’t be overheard, but not so far away that they couldn’t keep an eye on the kids. Hikari had met up with one of her friends and Chihiro gave a wave to the kid’s parents before giving Monoma as much of her attention as she could.

“So,” she said. Her Cords make small circles through the air, as she crossed her arms. “You wanted to talk. Talk. I’m listening.”

“Ah, yes, well,” Monoma began. Alarm bells were already ringing in her head. Granted, her guard was always up around him. Sure, she’d eat lunch with him with Mika, Koda, and Fukidashi or Tetsutetsu. He was tolerable in small doses. Especially if he kept his mouth shut. But she’d never seen him as at a loss for words as this.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have just kissed you like that without asking. It wasn’t very gentlemanly of me. I was… overcome with emotion at resolving some of my own issues, and let my exuberance get the better of me.”

Chihiro blinked slowly. She definitely hadn’t been expecting an apology. Even with the one he’d given a few minutes ago, she wasn’t even sure he really knew how to apologize. But she looks over and he was so earnestly apologetic that even her background level of irritation at him started to fade. “It’s, ah, it’s fine,” she said. “You were excited. Happens.”

He looked a bit surprised. “That’s happened before?”

She had to laugh at that. “No, that one was definitely a first.” Her left Cord shot out and gave him a soft poke in the chest. “Definitely wasn’t expecting my first kiss to be you though.”

He looked offended at that. “That was not a first kiss. All I did was kiss you on the cheek!”

“A kiss is a kiss!” she shouted at him, moving closer. “Doesn’t matter where it was!”

“You’re out of your mind!”

“I thought you were apologizing!”

“I did! You were the one who tried to turn it into a semantics argument!”

“It’s not semantics if I’m right! That! Was! A! Kiss!”

Their faces were mere centimeters from each other now. His eyes were big, blue, and ever so close. He really was just too ridiculously pretty for his own good. Probably spent more time in front of the mirror than she did. About the only person who might outdo him in the hair and skin care regime was Aoyama.

“That wasn’t a kiss!” Monoma snapped. “If I’d really wanted to kiss you, I’d have done it like this!”

Before she could blink, he’d reached out and put his arms around her, spinning her around into a low dip, before planting his lips on hers. Her eyes went wide as he held the kiss for a long moment, before spinning her back into a standing position.

“What the hell?!” she snapped. “What the hell was that?!” Her Cords flew about her head like angry snakes, sparking with electricity.

“I… I don’t… it just happened!” Monoma said, backing away from her nervously. He looked ready to run and hide. Good! Who did he think he was, kissing her like this was some made for tv romantic movie where they yelled and kissed?!

She pointed her Cords at him aggressively, taking aim, her face flush with anger. “I oughta just take you out!”

His eyes widened in surprise, but then he smiled that same smug, irritating, and entirely too good looking smile. “Well.. Why not?” he asked. “I am finding your company surprisingly enjoyable, even without Mika as a barrier. Pick me up at seven tomorrow evening then?”

Her mouth dropped open. She could feel her mental footing slipping away as she shifted lanes from furious to baffled in the space of an eye blink. Mika’s advice to give him a chance came back to her. And she definitely wasn’t about to admit that she’d really enjoyed that kiss. But the other hand, he was absolutely infuriating. And sure, he’d shown her a more vulnerable side back at school…

Her Cords sagged, the sparks fading. “…What?”

“That, ah, that is… if you want to,” he said. Awkwardness replaced the smugness. And now he had his hands up, protecting his face, as he backed up. “We could go on a date. And I promise no more kissing.”

The words unless you want to hung silently in the air.

“Why me?” she asked, after letting him squirm uncomfortably for a moment. “I know Mika’s your ex. Going from her to me has to be a pretty steep downgrade.”

He looked puzzled for a moment, until his eyes widened in realization. He crossed his arms. “You do remember I used to date her before she, ah, blossomed. I’m not so shallow as to be purely attracted to… that.”

Okay, he did have a point there. “Okay, but the first question still stands. You’re all fancy pants and I’m… me. In fact, up until you kissed me, I was pretty sure you didn’t even like me.”

A blush spread across Monoma’s face and he smiled sheepishly. “Mika insists I have a thing for women who can beat me up. You do fall into that category, of course, but the fact remains that you are a fascinating and attractive woman. You’re talented, with varied interests, and you are entirely willing to call me out to my face when I’m being a pretentious asshole. After some rather blunt conversations and realizations… I’m… trying harder not to be that person anymore.”

Okay. That was… actually pretty respectful sounding. Which was definitely a first for him when it came to her. Sounded like somebody had called him out. Mika, maybe? Or Tetsutetsu? Koda was too nice to have done it…

“Okay, fine,” she said. She tried to project with her tone that she was doing him a favor, not that she was actually possibly maybe kind of interested in him. “We can go on a date. On one, no, two conditions.”

He seemed surprised at that. “All right, I completely understand if you don’t wish to…. Wait, what?”

“One, no more kissing me out of the blue. You try it, and I’ll shock you so bad you’ll never get your hair to look right again.”

He chuckled. It was actually somewhat pleasant when it wasn’t paired with taunts. “A tremendous threat. Very well. And the other?”

“Don’t you dare tell Ojiro about this. Or put it on-line or anything where she can somehow find out about it. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Monoma nodded. “I suppose that’s reasonable. So long as you do the same with regards to Fukadashi. I don’t need her comparing me to some anime or manga more than she already does.”

He had a point there. Fukidashi was weird. And given the company she kept, that was saying something. “Deal. It’s a date.”

“YAY!”

Chihiro’s head snapped around and she saw that the kids were staring at them. Hikari was the one who’d shouted, but they all looked enthralled. Well, everyone but Takeru did.

“How long have you been watching?!” she demanded.

“Long enough,” Takeru said. They looked over at Chihiro. “You should have shocked him again. Otherwise he won’t learn anything.”

She had to laugh at that. “Okay,” she said. “You, I like.”

“Yay! A date!” Mako said. “My big sister went on a date too! With Haruto Sero!” She danced about as she talked, kicking up a little bit dust. “Ah… ah… choooo!”

Chihiro’s eyes went wide as Mako’s Fire-Breath Quirk went active with her sneeze. Instantly, she tackled Monoma to the ground, as a blast of flame went through where his head had just been. Her face went flush as she realized how close they were again. Hastily, she shoved herself up and off him.

She offered Monoma a hand up and this time he took it. His hands weren’t anywhere near as soft as his pretty boy imagine would have suggested, she realized. “Sorry about that. She doesn’t have full control of her Quirk yet.”

“Quite, quite all right,” Monoma said, sounding a bit shook from his near-fire experience. He was blushing too, she noticed. He dusted himself off. “But seven, tomorrow then, if that’s agreeable to you?”

“Yeah, all right,” she said.

Great. That gave her more than a day to figure out how to explain to her dad she was dating a Monoma.

One date. Not dating.

She definitely wasn’t thinking about kissing him. …Dating him! And she wasn’t thinking about that either!

…Crap.

#my hero academia #their hero academia #shiro monoma #chihiro kaminari #shota shinso #katsuki bakugo #fan fiction #fan fic #my writing

1 note · View note

everlarkficexchange · 5 years

Text

You Belong with Me - Prompt 10

Written by: @iliveilaughiloveiread on tumblr, colleenegan25 on AO3

Prompt by: Anonymous

Prompt 10: Based on “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift music video: Katniss is Lucas Till’s character, she has a relationship with Gale, but she doesn’t really like being with him. Peeta is pining for her, like Taylor Swift’s character, observing them and think he and K belong together.

AN: This prompt was fun for me because this song was popular when I first began dating my husband. Also I used one of my ex-boyfriends for some of Gale’s annoying traits. Thanks to @butrfac14 for being my beta and turning my ramblings into a coherent story. Also thanks to @everlarkficexchange for running this awesome thing.

Rating: General with some cursing. Douchebag boyfriend warning

Disclaimer: This is a fandom work and I own nothing.

You Belong With Me

Wednesday

“Hey Kat, how’s your week been?” Peeta smiled as he saw her approach their favorite booth at Sae’s.

“Exhausting. I can’t wait to eat some real food,” Katniss said, plopping her backpack down on the booth. It was a weekly tradition that he and Katniss eat lunch together now that they didn’t live in the dorms and share all their meals.

“Uh Kat I know you’re always hungry and all, but what exactly are you talking about?” Peeta questions his best friend of 3 years.

“Well you know how Gale gets with food. No caffeine, no nitrates, no refined sugars and definitely nothing fried.” she trailed off

“Oh yes I know ‘his body is a temple.’ I mean what kind of a freak doesn’t eat chocolate?! No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But what does that have to do with you?” Peeta was concerned.

“We’ve been cooking together more, and he came to the grocery store with me last week so I only bought stuff that he would eat too. But then I realized that I’m starving all the time because I am not a woman who can sustain herself on vegetables and quinoa.” Katniss let out an exasperated sigh.

“Duh! How, after 2 years, does he not realize that?” Peeta is indignant on her behalf. It’s one thing for someone to put limits on their own diet, but forcing them on someone else was uncalled for. And anyone who knew Katniss knew she needed to eat.

“I think Gale thinks he’s changing me. Maybe he is a little but I just don’t think I can be the matching kale smoothies for breakfast partner he’s envisioning me to be.”

“Well Kat, I can’t imagine why he’d even want you to be one of those girls. Lucky for you I already ordered us some Irish nachos–which should be arriving any minute.”

“You’re the best!” Katniss smiled up at Peeta.

~If you can see I’m the one who understands you~

Second Wednesday

Katniss is waiting for him in their booth. “Peeta I need you”

Peeta coughs at how that sounds, “What do you need?”

“Will you come to pre-bowl after this? I have to miss bowling league tomorrow night because I have an exam. You know Jo will kill me if I mess with our team’s chances of first place this year.“

“Of course, but aren’t you cutting it a little close? Don’t your pre-bowl numbers have to be in at least 24 hours ahead of time?”

“Look at you, Peeta! You already know the bowling league rules without even playing. Yes I am cutting it close but I hate going down there by myself, so I waited until I knew you were free.”

Peeta doesn’t even bother to question why she didn’t ask Gale to go with her. He’s too excited about having some one on one time with her that lasts longer than their weekly lunch dates.

After an hour of bowling, talking, and laughing Peeta was feeling great. Lighter than he has all week.

“Thanks for hanging out with me while I did that! You always make me feel better.” Katniss smiled and gave him a hug before walking back towards her apartment. It’s only once he got home that Peeta began to wonder what was going on that made Katniss need to feel better.

~Been here all along so why can’t you see~

Third Wednesday

Katniss happily munches on Sae’s famous buffalo chicken sandwich and fries. “Is there a wrong way to make a bed?” she asks her friend.

“Huh?” Peeta’s mouth is full of fries. He finishes chewing. “What do you mean? You know I always make my bed. My mom drilled that routine into us as children.”

“Right, that’s why I’m asking you. Is there a specific ‘correct,’ (using her fingers to make air quotes) way to make a bed?”

Peeta shakes his head,, “I don’t think so. I think the military has certain routines and so do hotels. But for most people as long as the sheets and blankets are straightened out they consider that a made bed. Why are we talking about this? Did you start watching HGTV or something?”

“No it’s just… Gale really likes the bed made. And it’s all the same to me to just leave the sheets and blankets in a mess since that’s how they’ll be as soon I go back to bed. I know that’s not his preference, so this morning when he was in the shower I made the bed. Just to be nice, you know? I’m sure that it was a little sloppy but I thought it looked good. Then without saying a word to me Gale walked back into the bedroom and pulled the covers back off before proceeding to make the bed again.” he just undid everything and made it again.”

Peeta just stared at Katniss.

“Seriously? He remade the bed after you already made it? Kat that’s really fucked up. What kind of a person doesn’t acknowledge when something thoughtful has been done for them? Then just corrects it because they think they can do it better?”

“Right? I appreciate your indignation. Gale just shrugged it off and told me I was being too sensitive.” Katniss shakes her head at the memory.

“Well on behalf of all bed makers, let me make it clear that redoing it after someone else has already made the bed is rude and strange.” Peeta thinks to himself I would never take her for granted like that.

Katniss smiles, “Thanks Peet.”

~You belong with me ~

Fourth Wednesday

“How was your weekend Kat? You never made it over to Murphy’s on Saturday.”

“I know sorry. Ugh. Gale dragged me to another Frat party,” Katniss rolls her eyes. “I feel like now that we’re 21 we shouldn’t have to go to them anymore. But Gale insists it’s an important part of his ‘brotherhood.’ How was the band?”

“Really great actually! They did some acoustic songs that you would have loved. They were hauntingly beautiful.” Peeta smiles wistfully.

“So jealous! I was stuck listening to the latest Ariana Grande song on repeat all night. Drinking shitty beer.”

“That sounds awful. Why didn’t you just leave?” asks Peeta.

“I tried! I told Gale I couldn’t handle it anymore when the sister sorority’s new pledge class showed up. Then he told me that I wasn’t being a supportive girlfriend by bailing on him on a Saturday night.”

Bailing?! Peeta shook his head. How could Gale claim she was bailing when she showed up to a party she clearly didn’t want to go to even when she had other plans.

“If you ask me he wasn’t being very supportive of your interests.” Peeta mumbles half under his breath.

“Yeah, we got into a fight and I ended up just sucking it up and staying for a little longer until I could go home and just go to bed,” sighed Katniss. Doesn’t that sound like quality time with your partner.”

“Sorry to hear that. I didn’t mean to bring up any drama.”

“Not your fault, but I promise that I’ll be at the next show with you even if there is a frat party.” Katniss says.

~I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like

And she’ll never know your story like I do’ ~

Fifth Wednesday

Peeta walks in to Sae’s and finds Katniss already waiting at their booth surrounded by books, papers and her laptop.

“Hey, you look busy,” he says as he slides in across from her.

“This semester is really kicking my ass Peet. All my classes are moving at full force and the readings and homework have really been piling up.” Katniss is many things but she is not a procrastinator, so Peeta realizes that she must have a ton of work to do if she’s bringing it with her today.”

“If you’re too busy for lunch it’s okay Katniss, we can take a week off. I don’t want you to get behind on your studies,” Peeta looks genuinely concerned.

“No!” Katniss practically shouts. “This lunch is the only thing saving my sanity. Gale and I have been fighting a lot over anything and everything. This week he’s annoyed at how much homework I’m doing and thinks that I’m using it as a way to avoid him.”

“Seriously? That guy can be a real piece of work,” Peeta shakes his head in disgust. A tiny part of his heart skips a beat knowing that he’s the thing that is saving her sanity.

“Yeah I don’t know if maybe I am trying to avoid him subconsciously. He’s making me feel all nervous and stressed to be around, which I do not need on top of my heavy class load this semester,” Katniss puts her head down on the wood table. “Peet, I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Peeta tries not to panic seeing his my friend in such distress. He moves over to her side of the booth and starts rubbing circles on her back.

“Do what?” He asks quietly.

“The fighting with Gale is exhausting. We’re never on the same page about anything. He gets mad about the food I buy and eat, and how I clean the apartment. And now he thinks that I’m doing too much homework? I can’t keep doing this, it’s too much.”

“Katniss, you should tell Gale all this. I’m sure he’s not intentionally trying to stress you out. Remember relationships are supposed to make you happy and feel supported, not angry and stressed. I know you’ve been dating a long time but you’re not married. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay with him just because you’ve been with him a long time.” Peeta shocks himself by saying that out loud. He quickly adds, “Sorry if that got a little preachy. I just hate seeing you upset”

Katniss shakes her head and gives a weak smile. “It’s okay. Can we just eat and talk about something else to get my mind off this?”

“I know just the thing! Put your books away, we can go to the library after lunch. Let’s get milkshakes and cheese fries while I tell you all about Rye’s antics last weekend. Spoiler alert - he had to go to the hospital again.”

Katniss laughs at Rye’s ridiculousness while drinking her chocolate milkshake. After they finish she smiles at Peeta and squeezes his hand, “Thank you. That was just what I needed.”

~I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself hey isn’t this easy~

Sixth Wednesday

Peeta is reading a book in their booth when he sees her walk through the door. Or at least it’s someone who vaguely looks like Katniss. She’s dragging her feet, her backpack looks like it’s weighing her down, her face looks bewildered

“Katniss, are you okay?”

“Well I finally did it.”

“Did what?”

“I broke up with Gale.” Peeta tries to keep his face neutral when his feelings are really swinging from elation to shock to mortification at his elation.

“Okay…how’d that go? How are you feeling?”

“I thought I’d feel relief and I thought he’d see it too. We’d been fighting a lot, and we’d barely spent any time together anymore. And the time that we did spent together we weren’t enjoying each other’s company you know? It just seemed like it was time. He’s a rational, logical person and I thought when I laid it out there like that he would agree that we’d be happier apart.”

“But he didn’t…?” Peeta prompted.

“No! He acted so offended! And shocked. Shocked - Peeta! How in the hell could be shocked that I want to break up when all he does is act frustrated and disappointed with me? He said he had started planning our future together, and that it was selfish of me to want to throw that all away. I told him that I was sorry but I just didn’t think I could be the partner he thought I should be. By the end of my rational explanation for why it seemed obvious we’d be happier apart he was almost in tears.”

“Gale was crying?” Peeta was very comfortable with his emotions but Gale was not. He was much more stoic and often seemed like emotions were a waste of time. Peeta had always thought that’s why the guy became a computer science major. Computers didn’t have feelings.

“I know right! He kept begging me to tell him what to change and was so insistent that we could fix it. But I was just too worn out so I told him the time for that had come and gone.” She sighed, “sorry for all the word vomit but it’s just I’m so tired.”

“It’s okay, Fall break will be here in 2 days. I’m proud of you. While it seems like your breakup conversation was difficult at least it’s over now.” Peeta says reassuringly.

“I wish it was over.”

“What do you mean? I thought you said you broke up.” Peeta looks at Katniss puzzled.

“We did. But Gale basically said he wasn’t accepting that outcome. So now to prove me wrong he’s trying to do all these things to show how much he cares about me and that we should be together. I know he’s trying to kind and romantic, but it’s feeling clingy and like he won’t let go.”

“What’s he doing exactly?”

“Well the day after our breakup he left me a mix cd under the door of my apartment. The next day he left some chocolates with Johanna to give to me. Then yesterday I found a massage gift certificate in my mailbox with a note that said, ‘I know you’ve been stressed out, take some time to relax.’ I know it’s all coming from a good place, but why did it take a break up for him to realize that he should care about me? Am I a heartless bitch if all these nice gestures just make me more annoyed about the way he acted the past few months.

“No, of course not. Your feelings are valid, if Gale wanted to do some nice romantic things he had plenty of opportunities. If you’re still confused about your feelings that’s okay too. You’re only 21, Katniss. You don’t have to have everything figured out yet.”

“Thanks Peeta, for everything. I don’t know how I would’ve survived this semester so far without you.” Peeta ignores the beat his heart skipped and comforts his friend.

“Kat go home, see Prim, recharge. It’s Fall break next week, so just take some time to be away from all the college drama. I think it’ll really help you relax and prioritize.” Peeta advises.

~And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town

I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down

You say you’re fine

I know you better then that~

A month later…Tenth Wednesday

Katniss sits in their booth anxiously rolling a flower between her hands.

Peeta is taken aback when he sees her wearing a dress with her hair down and flowing.

“What’s all this?” he asks as he sits down.

“I got my priorities straight.” She hands him the flower and he’s surprised to see that it’s a dandelion. Where did she find one this late in the fall? The better question is why is she giving him a flower?

“And…?” he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I think what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time. Peeta would you like to go out with me on Saturday night?” Katniss looks hopeful.

“Yes, of course. Of course I would.” Peeta beams at her.

“Great!” She smiles back at him. “Also I already ordered the Irish nachos.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite person!” Peeta

~I think I know where you belong

I think I know it’s with me

Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can’t you see

You belong with me~

#Springtime Edition 2019 #iliveiloveilaughiread #prompt 10 #submission

94 notes · View notes

thesleepingninja · 5 years

Text

One week before the board exams, I found myself staring a lot at the trees outside my apartment window in between review sessions, daydreaming about what it would feel like to pass the boards. And when I snap myself out of it, I would feel really guilty for expecting too much and doing too little. By little, I mean, I procrastinated. A lot. Scrolled on social media more often than I should have. I wasted a lot of review time, basically. And yet, I had the nerve to daydream about passing.

I wasn’t able to sleep too. My sleeping schedule went from 6AM, when the sun comes peeking at the horizon, until 12NN. And for the rest of the day, I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried to. What a taste of the thing they call sleepless nights, though it got me worried because the exams are scheduled really early and I had no idea how my circadian rhythm would handle that.

Three nights before the exam, the anxiety started to eat me alive. I thought of all the people who knew, and I realized that I’m not really scared of failing, but I am too scared of disappointing. I was sad and a little bit angry that people around me wouldn’t listen to my ramblings and dismissed me with “kaya mo yan, ikaw pa,” “ang galing galing mo e,” “hindi yan, ano ka ba.” I don’t know. It felt invalidating. It didn’t feel like I could. I didn’t feel smart. I didn’t think I could make the cut. And I guess I just wanted to hear them tell me that no matter what happens, I will be accepted and treated the same. That my scores won’t define me.

The night before the exam, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I broke down. I was choking on my own tears trying not to make a sound so that my friends won’t hear. I sat up and prayed. I haven’t prayed for a long time, but it really feels good to think that someone out there listens and knows. I thought about silly things like, what if I don’t pass because I didn’t offer eggs to the saint of boards, or I don’t have any lucky red underwear to wear during the exam. But you know, despite not doing those, what if I pass?

But come Monday after the board exams. PRC posted a link that was soon to be updated that night. A classmate sent “Results are out!” in our seniors groupchat, and I hesitantly scrolled down to those with M surnames. And behold, I PASSED! All those sleepless nights and frustration and life questioning I did during the review came rushing to me ringing in my head that everything was worth it and it overflowed out of my eyes. I thought about how I didn’t get to enjoy my graduation and how I could do that now. I was crying like a baby. I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED MY NAME IS RIGHT THERE IT’S MY NAME MY NAME MY NAME I PASSED

I have never felt prouder of myself for doing something so big that I doubted I couldn’t do, but I did anyway.

Lois Samantha Tia (Shea) Macalalag, DVM.

Not so recently, I earned my three stripes, but now I can have that three-letter extension in my name! I am now a professional veterinarian. HUHU. I am now on the other side of that fine line between wanting and being. It is absurd to think that an exam can measure one’s worthiness of a license, but that is the law.

So I want to thank the people who dismissed my ramblings with dead-end high expectations, because I know you all believed in me. To my mama, whom I don’t know if I really made proud, I hope you are. To my papa and syoti, in my heart I knew you already felt the proud even before I did it, and I am grateful.

To Gab, my first ever patient to cross the rainbow bridge in front of me. You inspired me to do better and be better so that I could save more furbabies like you. You taught me a lot. To Max, I hope we did you justice during our conference presentation, because we felt like we did. I hope you are both enjoying the other side of the rainbow. You can finally eat all the chocolates you want without harm!

To Jaho, I don’t know how to thank you enough for your patience. I can’t tell how many times I rambled about failing and you listened. You have no idea how much your mere presence means to me. I really wish you were there physically at each night of the exam week, but hey I’m a strong independent woman who is now by the way a doctor! I wish I can have you for the rest of my life, because things with you are extra easier. AAAAHHHH I love you I love you I love you

To Meg, who gifted me with a mint chapstick before the exam because she predicted that my stress would cause me chapped lips, which I would bite off and make bleed. Ang galing mo. You predicted that shit right and I am so thankful for the chapstick because it really helped! It is now your turn and I am rooting for you!!

To James, Kirby, Zarah, Russel, Joy, Marc, Lem. We all did it!! Now we’re stuck in the what now? Well, who knows? But I hope life treats us all good.

For now, I’ll just get used to being called “Doc.”

#personal

9 notes · View notes

jeiasacads · 5 years

Note

hi po! i’m a grade 12 student and i’m interested in applying for ust, are there any tips po for taking ustet? thank you po! :)

henlo! i'm happy that you asked, anon, because i've been meaning to make apost about the whole “paano na ‘to, mag-eexam na ako para sa college” experience for a while now. binigyan mo ako ng opportunity to share my own #roadtoraymund’s2019. i hope that this helps! ★~(◠ω◕✿)

- i applied to 4 universities, namely: de la salle university (DLSU), ateneo de manila university (ADMU), university of the philippines (UP), and university of santo tomas (UST)! - i passed the exams of DLSU, ADMU, and UST. ‘di ako umabot sa target grade ng UPD, so ‘di na ako umasa pa.- i went to a review center in pasig from july-august 2018. my experience was positive, and upped my scores on exams that i didn't think that i would pass! (ang saya mag-review center, promise!)

1. check the university's office of admissions website for the schedule of application. in UST's case, there are 3 application periods, and sometimes a 4th in january of the following year (2020 in this scenario). you may choose which period of submission you will follow, and submit your requirements within the timeframe given.1.5. strictly follow the application period that you picked. i cannot stress this enough! alam kong mag-eexam ka sa binansagang “school of ghosters”, pero ‘wag mo naman iwanan sa ere ng 2 buwan yung pag-aapply dito. hindi dapat ghino-ghost ang pag-aapply kasi univ ‘yan. 2. make sure that you have complete requirements. UST does not accept follow-up submissions of missing requirements. additionally, you are not required to present yourself in person to submit the requirements; you must submit them via LBC courier. (this takes 3-5 working days!)3. follow all of the steps outlined on the website. UST carefully details every step of the process and guides you through it. hindi ka naman papabayaan ng UST. yie.4. remember your login info. you will be logging in and out of your account throughout the application process. you will also need this to access your test results. type it down on notes, handwrite it, or have google save it on your saved passwords. kung yung mga math formula nakakalimutan mo, at least hindi mo limot yung info sa univ account mo. lose-win.

1. review center. if you can afford a review center, i encourage that you enroll in one! they refresh your memory on topics from junior high school that may have slipped your mind, and teach some senior high lessons that aren't taught to your strand (ex: chemistry, biology, business & oral communication, etc)! plug ko lang yung review masters, sobrang effective ng mga methods nila sa pagturo at pag-refresh ng memory.2. self-review. if you are reviewing on your own, i don’t recommend going beyond 2 hours a day. think of it this way: pagod ka na nga galing ng school, tapos uunahin mo yung pag-review kesa sa pagpapahinga. tama ba ‘yun? 2.5. pomodoro timer. when i reviewed on my own outside of review classes, i used the pomodoro technique. you set up your timer for 15 minutes and review/study/work. after those 15 minutes, you are given a 5 minute break to do whatever you wish. after that break, you go back to 15 minutes of that-thing-you-need-to-do-asap. then a break. then again. and again. this is repeated 4 times and after the 4th round, you are treated to a 15 minute break! it's a nice, easy way to manage your time and tasks by delegating them into chunks of time instead of the other way around. i find myself to be more productive utilizing this technique!3. having a study checklist. when i started reviewing for exams, i was lost on what i needed to touch up on. kung maghahanap ka kay kumareng google, marami kang matatantanan na listahan para sa review mo!4. mindset. you must be positive about the outcome of your future exam. you attract what you think about, therefore think about passing the exam! negative thoughts lower your self-esteem. with a lowered self-esteem, you won't be confident with your answers. if you're not confident with your answers, your chances of passing will be lowered, and so on. basta, believe in yourself, more power, ganon.5. exam hall. scout for the building that you will be taking the exam in beforehand. at UST, the buildings are far from each other, some with roads in between. it is a big campus, and it's easy to get lost. tsaka, maghanap ka na rin ng kasabay mong mag-exam, baka magkakaroon ka pa ng bagong kaibigan!

1. bring only what you need. don't bring a chunky pencil case because you think that you'll break your pencil 5 times. chances are, you won't. tsaka, ang hirap magbitbit ng gamit na hindi naman kailangan. 2. most important: bring a jacket. UST has very frigid classrooms, and these are reserved as testing halls for people who will take the USTET. (note: nagsuot kasi ako ng bakuna sleeve na blouse nung exam ko. ‘yun tuloy, sobrang regret ko na hindi ako nakapagdala ng jacket.)3. follow your proctor's instructions. you will be arranged alphabetically, but don't expect to arrange yourselves. bale, si proctor yung magaayos sa inyo, hehe. the proctor will guide you through the entire exam.4. subtests. the USTET has 4 subtests, namely: iq, english, math, science. 4.1. be strategic. take 3 pass-throughs while taking the exam: 1st - easy questions, 2nd - okay questions, 3rd - hard questions. it saves you time, and won’t leave you stuck on one question for 10 minutes.4.2. avoid re-answering questions. this is a mistake a lot of people make when taking entrance exams, which is double-checking their answers. chances are, your first answer is already correct. going back to change it lessens your chances of passing by a lot more than you think. 4.3. avoid looking around the room. this counts as cheating.4.4. don’t try to use a codigo. it’s useless, it’s stupid, it’s unprofessional. papasok ka ng univ dahil deserve mong pumasok ‘dun, ang paggamit ng kodigo sa entrance exam ay sobrang labag sa kalooban ng values ng UST.5. timing. the exam is timed, and you must follow the designated timeslot that corresponds to the subtest that you are taking. kunwari, 45 minutes sa math, edi 45 minutes lang talaga yung test na ‘yun. walang extension.5.5. wear a watch. there will be a clock on the wall, but you need to refrain from looking up at it. looking down at your wrist is better than craning your neck up to look at the time.6. bathroom breaks. time your bathroom breaks! don't "go because i feel like i want to", go when you absolutely NEED to. i only took 1 bathroom break in the 3-5 hours of the exam, after i finished its entirety. sinigurado ko muna na tapos na ako bago ako pumunta sa banyo kasi sagabal ‘din yung habang nasa CR ka, nag-iisip ka na may sasagutin ka pa ‘dun sa papel mo.7. ‘wag mag-stress! katulad ng reviewing stage, your thoughts influence your actions. if you think that you’ll fail, chances are, you will. (pero papasa ka, i’m sure. yie.)

1. while waiting for january 28, keep your mind off of the exam. tapos na ‘yun, nasagutan mo na ‘yun. na kay Lord na lahat yung mga desisyon, at ginawa mo na ang lahat ng makakaya mo.2. whatever the result is, be proud of yourself! sumikap ka para sa resulta na ‘yan, hindi mo dapat ‘yan ikahiya. 3. see you soon! you can find me at raymund’s.

sana nakatulong naman ‘to, anon! share-share mo rin ‘to sa mga kaibigan mong mag-eexam sa USTe, para may confidence boost kayo! thank you for giving me the opportunity to write about this, even though it took a while. see you soon, tiger! ＼（○＾ω＾○）／

9 notes · View notes

mysymmetry · 4 years

Text

2019 Reading List updated Feb 11 March 4 April 16 May 14 June 20 July 25 November 26 December 29

READ SO FAR:

A Separation, Katie Kitamura

The Guest Cat, Takashi Hiraide

Solitude, Michael Harris

No One Tells You This, Glynnis MacNicol

It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine

Such Good Work, Johannes Lichtman

The Light of the World, Elizabeth Alexander

Congratulations, by the Way, George Saunders

Very Good Lives, JK Rowling

Sick, Porochista Khakpour

Forest Dark, Nicole Krauss

Heart Berries, Terese Marie Mailhot

The Boys, or Waiting for the Electricians Daughter, John Terpstra

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

Nothing Good Can Come from This, Kristi Coulter

Blue Nights, Joan Didion

Blue Pastures, Mary Oliver

Coeur de Lion, Ariana Reines

Zen Your Work, Karlyn Borysenko

Horses Make the Landscape More Beautiful, Alice Walker

A Million Little Pieces, James Frey

What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About, ed. Michele Filgate

We Like Feelings. We Are Serious, Julia McIsaac

We Never Learn, Tim Kreider

How Festive the Ambulance, Kim Fu

If They Come For Us, Fatimah Asghar

Florida, Lauren Groff

Hard Child, Natalie Shapero

Upstream, Mary Oliver

How Will You Measure Your Life, Clayton M. Christensen

Summer Cannibals, Melanie Hobson

Okay, Fine, Whatever, Courtenay Hameister

Lagom: The Swedish Art of Balanced Living, Linnea Dunne

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

Normal People, Sally Rooney

The Recovering, Leslie Jamison (35)

CURRENTLY READING:

Let’s No One Get Hurt, Jon Pineda

The Mother of All Questions, Rebecca Solnit

Everything Under, Daisy Johnson

Alibis, Andre Aciman

Small Game Hunting, Megan Gale Coles

Speedboat, Renata Adler

Why Did I Ever, Mary Robison

Stereoblind, Emma Healey

Art Objects, Jeanette Winterson

Wade in the Water, Tracy K Smith

The Wrong Way to Save Your Life, Megan Stielstra

A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver

The Best American Essays 2018, ed. Hilton Als

I Become a Delight To My Enemies, Sara Peters

The War of Art, Steven Pressfield

INTENTIONAL STILL TO READ:

Empathy Exams, Leslie Jamison

Emergent Strategy, Adrienne Maree Brown (@ HPL)

Staying with the Trouble, Donna Haraway

Awe, Dorothea Lasky

Delicate Edible Birds, Lauren Groff

The Carrying, Ada Limon

Horse, Talley English

Freshwater, Akwaeke Emezi

Against Everything, Mark Greif

Cult of Loretta, Kevin Maloney

A Visit from the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan

Inadvertent, Karl Ove Knausgaard

Becoming, Michelle Obama

Spring Garden, Tomoka Shibasaki

Insane, Rainald Goetz*

Through Clenched Teeth (Triangle House incl. Sarah Manguso)

THE PILE OF HALF-READ BOOKS THAT I AM HOLDING OFF ON FINISHING UNTIL MY HEAD IS IN THE RIGHT SPACE

Go, Went, Gone, Jenny Erpenbeck

Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember, Christine Hyung-Oak Lee

Tonight I’m Someone Else, Chelsea Hodson

Decreation, Anne Carson

Bright Dead Things, Ada Limon

Eye Level, Jenny Xie

Certain American States, Catherine Lacey

Motherhood, Sheila Heti

Women Talking, Miriam Toews

Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, Simone de Beauvoir

1 note · View note

faintblueivy · 6 years

Text

Journey - From a bud to a blossom

Author’s note : Hi everyone! This is my submission for sakuraweek 2018. This is much shorter than what I originally planned due to the lack of time. I have a few more ideas and if you’d like, I can write a second part.

Before we start, I would like to thank the organisers of this week for their efforts!

Here we go!

***

Sobs wracked her tiny body as she sat in the shade of a large tree, attempting to pull her bangs down to hide her larger than necessary forehead.

Stupid forehead! Why did it have to be so big?!

Those girls. Why were they so mean to her? She never deserved it! She didn’t hurt them, or insulted them in any way. But then why would they always bully her for this?

Suddenly, a shadow falls over her. Her eyes widen at the sight of blonde haired girl standing in front.

Ino?

The young blond haired child crouches in front of her and wipes the tears on Sakura’s cheeks with a handkerchief.

“Don’t cry, silly! You look ugly doing that!” Ino comments.

“Eh?! I’m not ugly, Ino! You are!

Sakura forgets her tears.

…

She starts from a weak, pale bud, the one that is meek against the strong gales of insecurities and weaknesses. Ino is the first one to water that bud along with gifting her a red ribbon to tie.

…

One day, it hits her, she likes Sasuke-kun! Her eyes follow him everywhere. She feels funny when he does something cool. She cheers for him and squeals when he looks her way.

But sadly enough, somewhere along the way, her bond with Ino shatters.

That day, at night, Sakura cries, repeating again and again that she hasn’t done anything wrong.

…

That was her attempt as bud, for the first time ever to escape the shadow of the beautiful bush clover which had supported her to grow.

…

She graduates from the academy with flying colours, eyes blazing to make Sasuke fall in love with her, especially, after she is nominated to be a member of his group. A part of that enthusiasm dampens when Naruto Uzumaki joins their group. But she is ready to move forward.

She shows her dislike towards his childish behaviour in front of Sasuke.

“He is lucky!” she says, not giving a second thought to his situation, of the pain of being alone all the time.

“You are annoying.” He tells her, glaring.

And she is left stunned.

…

For the first time ever the tiny bud learns to respect the warmth of the young sun.

…

Some little of the first missions they do together under the supervision of their teacher – Kakashi Hatake is filled with laughter, cats and fishes. The man teaches them that team work is above all, the only way to succeed, in fact.

But she is happy here. This is team 7. This is her family.

“Naruto, you fool!”

“Sasuke! You bastard!”

She sighs again, seeing them argue around like this had become a daily routine and laughs when the cat tricks them again.

…

The tiny blossoming bud moves around happily, ecstatic to taste the new wind, neither aware nor ready to face the upcoming storms.

…

"I won't let my comrades die." Kakashi-sensei says this and she realises that the situation must have really gotten out of their hands. Their small hands were not enough to contain their chaotic world.

She sees his bloody and battered body, pierced with countless needles. Unable to stop her tears she recites out loud.

“Shinobi rule number 25 : A shinobi must never show their tears.”

The harshness of the Ninja world, and her helplessness towards the situation makes her cry harder. She holds his body close to herself.

Onyx eyes blink.

“Sakura, you’re heavy.”

…

The bud realises after that incident that the Sun is something very special and also that she cares about Moon a lot more than she thinks. But sadly enough, the worst was yet to come.

…

The chunin exams.

The one that turns into her worst nightmare. The first time she realises the horror of being weak, of letting the Sun and the Moon protect her all the time. She realises, she has watched their backs for far too long. The terror of an legendary Sanin with an obsessive aiming towards one of them, running for their lives was one of the most disturbing experiences of her life.

She sliced off her hair, the hair she has been grooming for years to get the attention of her object of affections. She did not regret it, not one bit. She did it to protect them. She would do anything to protect them.

What she regretted was the absolute fury on Sasuke’s face, those black flame like marks, all over his body, devouring him. She ran to him, unable to control herself, tears rolling down her face, embracing him with all her might. Hoping that her words reach him.

And he stopped.

…

The bud lost a few petals that day but understood the world better.

…

“STOP!!!”

She screamed, wanting to stop them so badly that getting between a blazing chidori and burning rasengan seemed like a good idea. Kakashi-sensei saved her.

But it wasn’t the end.

That night, he was leaving when she saw him. She tried to change his mind. She poured all of her feelings out.

“I… I love you with all my heart!… If you were to stay here with me, there would be no regrets… because every day we’d do something fun, we’d be happy I swear!… I would do anything for you! So… Please just stay with me!”

She told him, but he left her on a bench with a…

“Thank you…”

…

The little bud, for the first time had a taste of loneliness.

…

He grins, like a bright sun in the midst of a cloudy sky.

“Don’t worry, Sakura-chan! I’m going to bring Sasuke back!”

But when he returns, all bloody and battered and alone, she decides she has had enough.

Next time, they’ll go together to bring Sasuke back. She’ll become strong enough. No matter what!

…

The bud is left alone, by the sun and the moon, but she doesn’t give up, she keeps working hard to reach her goal. She hopes to grow strong to protect the Sun and save the Moon.

Fearless...

Strong...

Determined...

Slowly, her petals begin to open, she starts to blossom.

***

Author’s note : I hope you that you liked it, and I’d really love to know your thoughts. And please do tell me if you would like to see a second part of this!

Thank you!

#sakuraweek2018 #sakuraweek18d3 #prompt: from bud to blossom #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #naruto #sasuke #kakashi #team7 #my fanfiction #sakuraweek #sakura #Adi writes

69 notes · View notes

writerleo86 · 3 years

Text

Terravenger Season 5 - Part One: Episode 349 (Do Not Copy)

At a large hall that was filled with lit candles, the emotionless admiral named Titania Panel stood before the students from the Midas Armed Forces.

She held a tree of lit candles with her left hand as she informed each student "Welcome to the Terravenger Council Exams. May the Gods watch over you."

Episode 349: Encountering Those From the Past

A while later, some of the students from the Midas Academy had found themselves at another large hall of the fortress called Noxpannon.

"Dat woman's da sponsa?" cried Clay. "She gives me da creeps!"

"Me too!" Akari replied. "We should be careful around her!"

"That woman!" Tai implied. "She's worse than the Fire Admiral! She's witch-like! Scary as hell!"

Pacey said as he walked in front of them "I have heard that both admirals Redbourne and Panel fought in many past wars. Perhaps one war of two has hardened the both of them."

"And if my memory is correct," Paige implied. "Our own commander has fought alongside Admiral Redbourne in two of the wars."

"Yeah," Tai answered. "Dad and the Fire Admiral fought together in different battles together. So, they're probably close."

The group stood at the center of the large room. And they discovered that they were surrounded by more competitors for the Exams.

"I was correct," Pacey informed his friends. "We of the Midas Armed Forces are sharing the house of the Lady Admiral with the other schools."

An excited Tai looked around as he cried "Far out!"

Clay hurried to him and told Tai "Dis is gonna be good! Da team's look strong as hell!"

Akari walked to the pair and said "I hope the girls aren't pushovers either."

Both Iris and Paige had joined the group.

And Paige told Akari "The energy flowing from each of them is incredible. We will have well competition indeed."

Then a male voice yelled "Raven!"

Tai turned around and was struck once he spotted someone hurrying to him.

"What da hell?" He yelled.

The pair gathered together and greeted each other with both a high five and a hand shake.

"Tai you dog!" The other student yelled. "I'm not surprised you're at this tournament!"

This was a young man with black eyes and fair skin. The top part of his short brown hair was spiked up. And his body was well-built. He wore a pink T-shirt with the word 'BATTLE' printed in capital black letters at the center. He had on a pair of tight gray jeans and brown Cowboy-boots. And his GAF badge was on the left side of his chest.

Iris hurried and gave a warm hug to the other boy.

"You're here too?" The boy cried. "This is gonna be a showdown for sure!"

"I knew you would come Ronnie," said Iris.

"And I am not alone," Ronnie told her.

He soon presented another student who walked toward the group.

An excited Iris yelled "Is that you Gale?"

Akari walked slowly forward and cried "You are Gale Reed!"

"Who?" questioned Tai.

This was another teenaged male. He had fair skin, blue eyes, and short turquoise hair. And he had two silver rings on the side of his left ear. He had on a white shirt with sleeves that went down to his wrists. He wore a pair of tight blue jeans, black socks, and brown shoes. He also had an opened teal vest that had no sleeves. And his GAF badge was placed on the left side of his chest.

"Tai!" Akari replied. "This is the boy that starred in that show High Mountain! He was also in a few teen movies!"

Gale gave out a soft smile and asked "You have seen many of my movies?"

"I've seen all your movies!" Akari told him. "You were great! My favorite is White River, your greatest romance moves."

"I have seen the movie as well," said Paige. "I have enjoyed how you played the boy that tried to save his girlfriend from dropping into the ocean. The emotions you have put into the character was better than how it was written in the book."

And Clay told the boy "I've seen dat moves about you fightnin' da big guy for yer gal's love. Ya outta dis world Man!"

Then a female voice cried "Is this a private party? Or can anyone else join?"

Every student including Tai looked forward. They finally found two newcomers walking toward them.

Both Tai and Pacey gave out an astounded smile.

And Akari called "Neve Floco?"

One of them standing at the front was the high-spirited girl named Neve Floco. She had blue eyes, pale skin, and purple hair that passed her shoulders. She had on black eyeliner and mauve lipstick. She wore a light-blue top with no sleeves. And on her back were large blue wings that remained down. She also had on tight pale-brown leggings and long dark-brown boots. And her shiny AAF badge was placed on the left side of her chest.

Akari gave a warm hug to Neve as a happy Tai yelled "I didn't think I'd see you again Snow-Bird!"

An excited Neve told him "I wouldn't pass this up! I want to show you all how strong I've gotten since the last time we saw each other!"

"I can already tell you're tougher than ever!" Tai described. "Fightin' you at the Exams would be fun too!"

The other newcomer stepped forward as Pacey stared at her while he remained in shock.

"Pacey Deacon," She called in a calm but strong voice.

It was an older girl with pale skin and long light-blond hair. Her eyes were as blue as the morning sky and pupil-less. She also had on black eyeliner and blue lipstick. She wore a white leathered jacket and tight pants of the same color. She had on white shoes that were open-toed with one strap on each. And she had a thick belt around her that matched her entire outfit.

"Snow-Girl?" Tai asked Neve. "Is that your sister?"

Pacey stared at the older girl for a moment as Neve stood by her left side.

And the older boy informed Tai "This is Ami Nikson. She is the one we had to rescue from the Dark Lord when we were in Arctic City."

Then Pacey looked into the light eyes of the girl and he said "I have never seen such a beauty in my life."

The older girl gave out a soft smile and told him "I am her, Pacey Deacon. I am Ami... No, Celeste. I am Celeste Nikson."

"Celeste?" questioned Pacey. "You have taken the name your sister calls you?"

"Celeste," The girl in white implied. "I discovered what the name truly means. It is French for the word heaven."

Tai stared at the older girl and cried "This girl's stronger than Snow-Bird! I sense her ki blazin'!"

Neve leaned her head on the left shoulder of her sister and told everyone "This girl... She has trained long and hard for an opportunity like this. She wants to show everyone in our city that she can fully control her abilities."

"I remember..." Dilan implied. "...that the only ability she has is to create a suit of crystal around her entire body."

"Yeah," Neve answered. "That was her active power at the time. But after many years of training, she has discovered that she has more than one ability."

Suddenly, both Tai and Dilan felt a strong breeze of cold air as each of them wrapped their arms around themselves.

Pacey responded "Sirbo Kaballa did not come after her because of her ability to form armor around herself."

The small air slowly faded.

"Ami..." Pacey informed everyone. "She can control the element Ice. That was truly what was the Dark Lord was after."

The emotionless Celeste walked closer to Pacey and she said "I wanted to thank you for some time. For saving my life, Pacey Deacon."

A kind Pacey shook his head and told her "It was my pleasure, truly."

Tai gave out a large smile and yelled "I want her! I want Celeste in a match too!"

Ronnie spread his arms out as he said "I want a piece of you too, Tai."

The blessed Akari felt the strong ki from Celeste as well and she thought "This is going to be an interesting couple of days!"

0 notes

rollingpenguin · 6 years

Text

@shadow-insomniac tagged me so here I go, thanks for the tag! °^°

The 50 Question Tag

1. What time is it for you? 7:25 pm

2. Where are you right now? At home

3. What is the last thing you ate? An ice cream

4. How long have you been on Tumblr? Actually using it since the end of 2015 or beginning of 2016 I think, I had the account earlier but I had never used it, just to look for pictures

5. What is your occupation/year in school? I'm in second year at uni, I study Natural Sciences

6. What is the last text you sent and to whom? Told about the italian Wikipedia to my uni friends

7. What’re your favorite things to do to relax/unwind? Uh, lay down in the sun and look dead. Or listen to music on the train. Also bike real fast down the road sometimes

8. Have you traveled outside your home country? Where? I've been in Greece, Croatia, Spain, Germany, England, France and Holland, I think.

9. Where would you like to visit if you could go anywhere? Literally everywhere, like an all-places-trip or something. But if I had to pick one... It's hard. I have a glacier I've always wanted to see though, in Iceland

10. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next few days? In the next few days? Nothing. There's still exams. There's a pride but I don't know if I have the time to go so...

11. Do you have any siblings? How many? One, a brother

12. Do you prefer nighttime or daytime? Nighttime, unless I have nothing to do, then I love a good peaceful afternoon

13. Sweet or savory? Generally savory

14. Natural look or glamorous look? Natural

15. Reading or writing? Hnn both, especially if I could really write

16. Left-handed or right-handed? Right-handed

17. Dine out or dine in? Dine in, unless it's to try new food

18. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate

19. Make music or listen to music? Listen, wish i could make it too though

20. Sunset or sunrise? hmm sunset

21. Listener or talker? listener, unless you get me started

22. City or countryside? hnn not sure

23. Describe the last dream you can remember? So three friends and I went to play some game on a field at night, we had to look for something, not sure what, but I was my usual lazy ass so this one guy and I stay in the car while the other two entertain themselves with some horror out in the darkness. At some point, we realize something is not right and flee to go home. Not sure what happens in between but it all ended with this friend and I confronting some evil pseudo-werewolf in my bathroom, we had three guns and one more person, but the guns weren’t loaded, to this creature amusement(literally, it laughed at my face when I tried to shoot), so in the end we defeat the thing by smashing their face against the mirror. lots of blood. but we won. nice.

24. Describe a dream or nightmare that you can never forget? Previous one was a dream so let’s go with a nightmare. I have two but the worst one is just me witnessing a woman drowning. It was creepy af because this woman was trapped with her head in some flooding pipeline and I could see both her agonizing face and her body outside trying to get free, at the same time, like I was two cameras recording. Seriously creepy.

25. Have you ever smoked? What did you smoke and what was it like? I tried one cigarette and I hated it thanks, then someday someone offered some weed and I wish it was legal here too, never been as peaceful as I was that time.

26. What is an embarrassing moment you’ve experienced? I am embarrassed every time i think of the one time 11 year old me intentionally run against a wall because I wanted to make some kids laugh

27. Do you like music? What’s your favorite genre? Yes and wish I knew

28. Ever performed in a play or a concert? What was it like? Yeah, I thought I was going to die, then my grandma literally walked in front of every sitting person saying 'that's my granddaughter' so I also wanted to die, but I didn't

29. One habit you’re trying to start? Hn exercising?

30. One habit you’re trying to quit? procrastinating? lol, like that's gonna work

31. Do you know what you want to do in 10 years? no freaking idea

32. Do you worry more often about the past or the future? the future, i have no plans, i don't know what i should be planning, i don't really want to plan something either so... huh

33. Are you in a relationship? Yeah right. No

34. Describe a date that went horribly wrong? (Or wonderfully great, you pick) I did go on a date. Like once. But it didn't go wrong. It just didn't go like a date.

35. Would you call yourself a dreamer? Yep

36. An overachiever? In my dreams, sure, in reality... meh

37. A hopeless romantic? Don't know

38. Who are your role models and why? I mean idk, Shikamaru? Cause he's a genius and he has good friends and great logician? Not sure

39. What do you tend to spend your money on the most? huh ...birthday presents? maybe? and food

40. Put your music on shuffle. What is the song? 'Irresistible' by Fall out Boys

41. Would you risk your life to save someone else? I want to say yes, but I'm not sure I will if the time comes

42. Have any scars? If you want to share, how did you get them? I have one on my hand from when I impaled it on a window and one on my leg from playing paint ball

43. Do you want to get married? ...maybe? I don't know

44. Have kids? How many? Euh, it's not really my first thought, nor my second, nor third. Definitely not in the top 50 things to do in my life. I mean maybe if I had a proper partner they could convince me but nnnha

45. What is the one thing that never fails to make you smile? GaJevy or GaLe, my Fairy Tail OTP. No doubt. They are so cute. Perfect.

46. What is one thing you learned today? Meteorites and their impacts and stuff of the sort

47. Are you happy with where you are at right now? yeah i mean, first of all, where am I?

48. List 5 things you cannot live without 1- Oxygen 2-Milk 3-Summer clothes 4-INTERNET WITH FREE FANDOMS. YOU HEAR EUROPE 5-sleep

49. What is your best quality? adaptivity

50. If you could meet anyone from history who would it be and why? I wouldn't, don't change history it makes stuff complicated, don't

Now go and tag some people

Yay. Okay, uhh well @misakizone @cry-cru @katekyo-bitch-reborn @erregiuly @nechrollomicon and that’s it don’t hate me for the tag ^^”

#i'm done #this took forever #aboutme

2 notes · View notes

jennagill · 6 years

Text

Message Not Sent

@jeeno2 reblogged this post (source), @deinde-prandium kindly encouraged me, and @papofglencoe was sweet enough to catch my comma errors. Thanks for the nudge ladies!

Everlark drabble - bad language, so rated M?

---

“You going to the department holiday party thing?” Gale Hawthorne asks in my general direction.

He is my academic twin, or that's what they call us. Same advisor, same class schedule, and very similar thesis tracks even though he graduated undergrad two years before me. We’re both Dr. Beetee’s prized students, each plucked from the masses of applications for his research team. We even sit side by side in the Research Design course every first year geography grad student has to take, no matter what subdiscipline you study. Physical, cultural, political, climate, medical, or media geography, we all have to sit through it.

I turn to my left to see Peeta Mellark, another first year but polar opposite in studies. He looks up from his reading and adjusts his glasses to see if the question was addressed to him. “Free food and drinks? Yeah, I'm in. What about you, Katniss?”

My eyes flit to Madge Undersee, on the other side of Peeta, and she's already nodding.

“Yeah, sure, I'm in. Just as long as I don't get trapped in conversation with Dr. Crane or one of you will have to rescue me,” I say.

“Agreed,” she smiles. “No one should have to endure that—I don't know how his students take him seriously.”

“No kidding, that guy creeps me out,” Peeta says.

While Gale is my academic twin, I think Madge could be Peeta’s actual identical or at least fraternal twin. They have the same sunny disposition, fair complexion, striking blue eyes, and light hair that's in direct contrast to myself and Gale. We make for an odd group, but most grad classes as like that at the university—attracting students from all over to study under the most prestigious academic leaders.

“Great,” Gale grunts. I'm still not sure if he was asking me, Peeta, or Madge, but it seems that we're all going now.

---

The department has gone all out, renting out the roof of the microbrew pub across from campus. It's a chilly Sonoran night, but there are outdoor gas heaters staged between tables across the space to keep the party guests warm. A hot appetizer station is flanked by the bar, both with long lines. Strands of twinkling lights hover above, giving the otherwise Spartan patio a festive feel.

I catch my reflection in the glass partition and am satisfied with what I see. My favorite hunter green sweater draws out the silver in my eyes, offset by the loose waves of my dark hair. It looked so nice earlier when I pulled off the elastic around the tip of my braid, I just shook it out and added a dab of lip gloss Prim gave me.

I’m lost in the memory when Peeta’s shining face appears on the other side of the wall. He's also dressed in a dark shade of green, but something's different tonight. I've always felt a pull toward him, from our first handshake in the quad. Between our vast differences, shared ideologies, and limited class interactions, I find myself doing the one thing I never set out to do—get close to anyone. I spend a lot of time with Gale out of necessity, and competition for Dr. Beetee’s attention. With Peeta though, it feels more like a choice to want to be around him—one I gladly make time and time again in this first semester of grad school. It still feels like a surprise though when I return his warm smile and tilt my head for him to join me on the patio.

“Hey, Everdeen, you made it! Did you finish your exams?” he asks.

“Yeah, so fucking happy about it too. Did you?”

“Yep, and glad for it. Abernathy's essay was a bitch though. I'm going to make sure he gets good and sauced tonight before he grades it. Are you going home for the holidays?”

“I am, tomorrow. I need to catch the airport shuttle though.”

“Oh, when is your flight? I'm leaving tomorrow as well, midday. You could ride with me.”

“Okay great, that'll save me a little money—thanks!”

“It's a date then,” he grins.

Gale and Madge fight through the crowd just as we've settled our schedule.

“What's a date?” Gale asks, shifting his eyes between Peeta and me.

“Oh, Peeta is taking me to the airport tomorrow—we both fly out around the same time,” I supply. “Did you two get food or drinks yet?”

“No, we just ran into each other coming up the stairs,” Madge explains.

“Wanted to make sure there were allies here first before settling in,” Gale says.

“Well I'm starving, how about we split up—you two get food and we’ll get drinks and meet back up here. A blonde for you and a stout for you?” I direct towards Madge and Gale.

“Yes, please,” she replies and tugs Gale off toward the food before he can object.

“What's with him?” Peeta asks, cocking his head in Gale’s direction.

“You mean the overprotective brother act? I don't know where he gets off on it,” I explain as we skirt the crowd. “I mean, I get that we’re like siblings here. We’re always competing, and he's always so demanding on himself, on me. He sends these gruff texts, gah. I should show you some time.”

“Sounds awful,” Peeta says.

“Yeah, but it usually ends there. We just work together for school.”

---

A few rounds later and many successful attempts at avoiding the creepy professors, Peeta and I are back in line for more drinks.

“Did fucking Johanna Mason cut in line? This line seems like it's getting longer, not shorter!” I shout, over the crowd.

“Katniss, shhhhh,” Peeta laughs. “She's not that far away! And yes, she most definitely did,” he snickers and leans into me. “I think she's getting a drink for Thom too.”

“Hmm,” I press on him to see the pairing over his broad shoulder, since that would be quite the interdepartmental gossip.

I gaze around and just about everyone seems to be feeling the effects of an open bar, myself included. Peeta smells good too— I absently wonder if he used cologne or aftershave. He’s always so fresh in class, but tonight he's exuding a different pheromone. Good thing I live just off campus and can walk home from here.

“Want to get out of here? I mean… go to the downstairs bar?” I stammer when I see surprise light up his face. Glasses! That's what's different about him tonight, he's not wearing his glasses. “Maybe there's a shorter line?”

“Um yeah, that's a good idea,” he agrees and lets me lead him away from the party.

“So no glasses tonight?” I ask, navigating the stairs.

“Ah no, figured I'd spruce up for the party.”

“Well you look nice,” I blurt out, and a wicked grin spreads across his face.

“You are beautiful tonight too, always beautiful,” he says, and I know the rosy glow spreading across my cheeks is more than the Hefeweizens I've had tonight.

We weave through the thinner crowd downstairs to the bar when I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I fish it out to check the text while Peeta orders another round.

WHERE

ARE

YOU

GUYS

I scowl at my screen, re-reading the burst transmissions again and verifying the source. Gale. Gah. I told him we were getting more fucking drinks, right? I start typing my response.

WE’RE

FUCKING

“Hey, can you carry Madge’s? And here's yours,” Peeta says as he steers two more beers toward me.

“Hang on a sec, gotta finish this,” I say and scramble to finish my reply. Punching ‘send’ on every word like he did to amplify my irritation.

GETTING

DRINKS

And I shove my phone into my back pocket to help carry the beers. We move slower through the crowd to get back to the stairs, careful not to spill. We reach the top riser, and I feel my phone ping again.

“Hold up, I wonder what he fucking needs now,” I grumble.

WHAT THE FUCK

“‘What the fuck?’, what does he mean, ‘what the fuck’?” I think aloud as I read and re-read the message. I look out from the stairwell and can't see where we left him and Madge. I scan the screen again. “Oh fuck.”

“What is it?” Peeta asks, concern creeping across his face.

“Apparently we’re fucking!” I laugh, hastily placing the beers down so I don't drop them.

“Oh are we now?” he says, setting down the other beers.

“Yeah, the last two texts I sent didn't go through...so all he got was ‘we’re fucking.’”

Peeta barks out a laugh and we catch ourselves in a fit of hysteria.

“Well how bad am I that you're texting while I'm fucking you?” He asks through chuckles.

I'm hiccuping through my giggles now. “You must be pretty fucking terrible!”

“And how can we be fucking if we haven't even kissed yet?” he asks with a more serious tone.

A shift in energy rolls over me, taking in his words and piecing together their meaning. “Well, you should definitely kiss me first,” I say, all traces of humor vaporized. Emboldened by the alcohol buzzing through my system, I lean to his lips.

And it isn't terrible at all.

#I write stuff #everlark drabble #holiday!everlark

237 notes · View notes