#safe people

[unwelcome-ozian]

#support people #safe people #safe person

[wanderingbell]

if you hold me without hurting me, you'd be the first whoever did...

you asked to kiss me. before i would have laughed, would have thought it strange that he asked permission first. now, after fearful encounters with hungry wolves, after unwanted touches and unwanted lips, those words from you made me feel safe. in that very moment i thought it was the sweetest thing a man had ever said to me. and i knew you were different than all the rest. and even though we don't talk anymore, im grateful for you. thank you for making me feel safe. for kissing me gently...

#kisses #kissing #i miss your voice #kiss #gentle kisses #smooch #hold me #lana del rey #lana #ifyouholdmewithouthurtingmeyoudbethefirstwhoeverdid #safe people #i have a crush #we dont talk anymore #things left unsaid #memory #hotel room #love poetry #love lovequote #love you forever #miss you #miss you forever #dreaming of you #still dreaming #i love him #first love #my love #love notes to no one #lovely #love me #holdme

[in54n3v1b35]

The following is just one of My favorite parts of this book.

Boundaries

One passive partner will get a stomach full of the other person’s Character flaws, and finally say “enough”. They will say this is an exercise in boundaries, but that is a Cop-out. Boundaries in a relationship are not real boundaries unless they can be exercised in the relationship. To say you now have boundaries and then leave, is to not have boundaries at all! A person with true boundaries would go back into the relationship and take stands against the problems that came up within the day to day relationship. This is the true test of boundaries.

#safe people

[chelanigans]

Them: “I notice lately you’ve been saying things on social media that are causing discomfort for others.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Them: “Wait, no, that’s not—“

Me:✋🛑

Yes, calling out damaging behaviour and ideas will cause discomfort. And that discomfort is key to any possibility of genuine conversation and growth.

#trauma recovery #mentalwellness #safe people

[rhysandswingspan]

I swear, being around my safe people >>>>> everything and everyone else

#safe people #my people

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

PSA for Across the Spiderverse:

Do NOT see the new Spiderverse movie if you have any form of epileptic condition or conditions affected by bright lights and rapidly changing colors.

I will not be spoiling the plot or anything happening in it, but it is important that people know, because ohhh my god the AMOUNT of flashing lights and rapidly changing colors from beginning to end was so rampant that even I, a non-epileptic autistic person, got a severe headache and wild overstimulation. They do not give a warning in theaters at all that this movie is NOT epileptic friendly from the literal beginning with the beginning credits - which is so, so sad!

This is a beautifully made film, it's wonderful, it's amazing, but unfortunately, it's not a good time for anyone super affected by bright flashing lights in rapid succession, especially those seizure prone.

I wanted to put this out there BECAUSE there are no theater warnings. Idk if anyone else has put it out there, but it is SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

I wish you all a lovely day and hope they eventually have a remaster that will be much more friendly to epileptic and other people affected by bright, flashing lights.

(EDIT: Changed all text to plain text for screen readers! Sorry about that, my bad!)

SECOND EDIT: please do not fight in the comments of my post please... if you guys wanna talk stuff out in DMs, that is a-okay and not my business but I directly get notifications for everyone's comments and replies- including people fighting in the comments.

I understand that some theaters have warnings in them. Mine did not, and many other peoples' did not. It seems to be a theater by theater basis, so please understand that is where I'm coming from. If you had a warning in your theater, that is wonderful! And I'm very grateful that ya'lls theaters had warnings! That is a great sign. But please under stand that mine and many others' theaters don't have warnings.

Please take any arguments off my post, it is not meant to be grounds for heated discussion, just a warning for people who are photosensitive or epileptic. Thank you.

#across the spider verse #atsv #epilepsy #epilespy warning #seizure risk #please spread this around #i want to make sure people are safe

[madohomurat]

trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it

#the same thing happens with black people #black people are everywhere! especially online! black gay and black trans people! #but when your community is suspiciously devoid of them then theres something wrong and you need to acknowledge it #even if its not intentional you need to think about how theres minority groups who do not feel safe around you at face value #this is why loud and outright support and solidarity is so important #black people and trans people and etc minority groups will assume you are unsafe unless you explicitly state otherwise #you can't just sit there and say 'well they didnt approach us so its not our fault for not including them!' #like did you TRY to get them to approach you?? #cy texts

[raynedayys2]

Normalize letting trans kids live.

Every trans child on this planet deserves to be safe & supported.

#text post #lgbtq #lgbt #trans #transgender #nonbinary #queer #gender queer #genderfluid #nex benedict #say their name & the name of every other trans people killed from hate #Nex deserved to grow up. And they deserved to feel safe at school. neither of those things will happen now. #when I first saw this story a couple days ago I was enraged to read that not only were they denied medical care they were also suspended

[unwelcome-ozian]

#cult recovery #leaving a cult #safe relationships #acceptance #supporting a survivor #safe people #patience and consistancy

[uncanny-tranny]

The leftism/anticapitalism leaving people's bodies the zeptosecond you imply that disabled people who aren't "productive" still matter in society and need to be treated like intrinsic equals who have a place in this world:

#disability #disability advocacy #described images #image description in alt #ableism #ableism tw #my full-time job is my disability and you're lucky that i am still 'productive' as-is #your boss doesn't care that you think you're superior for being hired by them. they're still going to treat you like profit machines #it astounds me how people will capitulate for oppression because they place their intrinsic value in their ability to be at the top... #...or at least 'at the top' compared to others. it's the same impulse that makes people think their cisgender status makes them superior... #...you are placing your worth into systems which not only oppress others but offer you no true sense of worth... #...ESPECIALLY if you're also being exploited (even if just a bit)... #...you have a job sure but... do you actually get treated like a human being? are you actually paid? are you actually safe?... #...if the answer to any of those questions and more is 'no' then why do you place your value in capitalistic production. genuinely. #and why would you DEMAND disabled people to have the same exploitation you experience. why do you DEMAND productivity if you are proletaria #yes being a leftist and anticapitalist are linked but. some people still internalize capitalism without questioning it #being a leftist is about challenging that rather than assuming you're correct i think #also scientists were very silly when describing time that's like. less than a millisecond i think

[tchaikovsgay]

this might be a controversial opinion but i think we unnecessarily platform terfs way too much. people cant even make a fun harmless trans post without people jumping on to be like "yeah, fuck terfs!" and its like. severely not about that at all

tumblr terfs love attention. they feed off of it, ESPECIALLY negative attention which is what some of yall are constantly giving them. if you dont want them interacting with your blog or w/e, thats fine, of course you dont! but everyone quietly blocking them while focusing on trans positivity would be way more beneficial than making the focus entirely about giving them the attention that theyre frothing at the mouth for

and frankly the focus on terfs takes away from conversations about casual transphobia that exists outside of just radical feminism. not everyone hides their transphobia under the guise of being a super feminist, and saying "fuck terfs" makes people feel like theyre above ever perpetuating transphobia, which is DEFINITELY not true

#maybe its time we replaced 'terfs dni' with 'trans safe' or 'trans positive' or something like that #idk ive never had terfs dni on my blog and i never have an issue with them interacting because i just #post supportively abt trans people #its that easy honestly #rant

[trans-axolotl]

nothing makes me more insane than the phrase "selling your body" btw. like was i not also selling my body at every other job i've had where i had to be on my feet all day, lifting boxes, working in a warehouse, etc. why is it that sex work is uniquely labeled as "selling your body" while every other job is sorted into another category, no matter how much that job might have a physical impact on your body. lmao.

#personal #sw #in fact i have had worse long term physical effects from my jobs that were not sw. as a matter of fact #anyway also related conversation to be had about how most of the human trafficking in the US is not sex trafficking but is in fact other #types of labor that is trafficked #and that if you include prison labor as human trafficking based on different definitions. there is a lot of important connections we can dr #draw. about labor. power. control. and how to build solidarity to actually fight for people's right to free + safe working conditions and #self determination

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[linkeduniverse]

TotK Spoiler

#totk spoilers #totk spoiler #tears of the kingdom spoilers #zelda spoilers #loz totk spoiler #loz spoilers #linkeduniverse #creator content #doodles #Yeah the ring ruins had me ticked off for the longest time #I know far too many people who haven't finished TotK yet #Better safe than sorry with spoilers less than a year old

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[thatpunnyperson]

According to NBC here in the US, the missing titanic sub has been found. As debris. Off the bow of the Titanic wreckage.

And it looks like the sub suffered what we all suspected, and what was undoubtedly the more merciful of the two options: a catastrophic implosion from the pressure.

Also, more info has come to light about the fishing trawler with the hundreds of migrants that sank cataclysmically off the coast of Greece, indicating that the greek coast guard knew about the vessel AND how much trouble the vessel was in, and were towing it at a speed that made it capsize, at which point they unhooked the tow line and watched the trawler sink without helping the passengers to safety. Despite a bunch of other ships trying to help as well throughout the whole ordeal.

So a lot of people are dead, all because of regulations (and the lack thereof) regarding sea-faring vessels and rescue protocols. People shouldnt be allowed to make a business charging a ton of money for a ride on an uncertified, unsafe, un-seaworthy ship going deep into the ocean with no distress beacon or tether to the mothership. People also shouldnt be allowed to enact laws that criminalize the ferrying of refugees, which then force the refugees to hitch rides on fishing trawlers, and which also prevent people from helping those fishing trawlers full of refugees due to fear of legal consequences.

Hopefully BOTH of these events spark changes on an international scale in terms of what is legally allowed to be sailed, who is legally allowed to be the passengers, and what the rescue protocols are in the event of disaster for any seafaring vessel, illegal or not. It shouldnt be just the global 1% who get 24/7 search parties and remote-operated submersibles helping rescue them.

#the question of 'what do we owe to each other' can be answered simply with 'the dignity of retrieving our remains when we die' #another answer is 'the dignity of thinking about each other fellow humans with similar motivations and feelings' #also 'stopping someones potentially self-destructive behaviors just because theyre rich and want to feel special' #also i feel like humans have been sailing the seas long enough that it should be guaranteed that people will survive sea voyages #im very mad about specifically mediterranean maritime disasters because we have ancient writing saying they made it safe #sailing from Egypt to Greece was so old hat and safe that people legit took the ancient equivalent of cruises back and forth #cleopatra habitually sailed from alexandria to rome with a ton of ships and was fine #Nero tried to have his mother drowned at sea by orchestrating a dramatic shipwreck while she was our sailing AND SHE SURVIVED #and then swam to shore got back to rome and whooped his ass #fuckin pliny the elder tried to evacuate people from pompeii and the surrounding coast villages when vesuvius erupted #and he actually WAS able to rescue people #but he himself had an asthma attack from the fumes which led to a heart attack and he died on the beach #there is legit no excuse for that trawler of migrant refugees to have wrecked #negligence all around #anyway #oceangate