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#safe relationships
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Love is work. Love is intentional. That's what makes love worth it.
Source: Nedra Tawwab
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unwelcome-ozian · 8 months
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stevowie · 9 days
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Long lasting relationships 🙋‍♂️
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livelifeintentionally · 7 months
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Forging Connections Amidst Complex Trauma: Navigating Relationships and Attachment
Embarking on this multi-part blog series, we’re about to dive deep into the concept of “Safe People” and equip ourselves with the knowledge to recognize individuals who may not be safe for us – those who exhibit toxic traits. What is an unsafe person? Pause and reflect: Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that seemed perfect at first, only to unravel as time went on? A prime example…
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inkskinned · 1 year
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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ineffectualdemon · 2 months
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Shang Qinghua becomes the one person Binghe trusts with Shen Qingqiu when he has to be away from him because when asked (and he asks everyone) "what are your intentions with my Shizun" he caught Shang Qinghua sleep deprived and fed up and so he answered "Dunno. Probably to piss him off."
When asked the inevitable "are you in love with Shizun!" instead of the usual angry or hysterical denials that he never believes Shang Qinghua answered with a deadpan "ew. That's my bro. I'd rather vacation in the endless abyss."
And then Shang Qinghua wandered off muttering about how Mobei has much better tits anyway
He didn't bother to ask Mobei these questions because Mobei keeps making what he thinks are subtle digs about how HIS human is the superior one
Which would normally piss Binghe off for many reasons but it means that he knows for a fact his right hand man won't try to fuck his husband so he puts up with it
Sha Hualing he puts up with because he told her and Mobei about the other Luo Binghe and mentioned the harem they had this conversation:
Sha Hualing: If you're not gonna can I collect them?
Luo Binghe: you want a harem?
Sha Hualing: yeah but not that big. I only need like a hundred wives and husbands at most. Mostly I think it could be fun! Yingying and Yan-er tell me I need more girls who are friends and it sounds exciting!
Luo Binghe: as long as it doesn't distract you from your duties
Sha Hualing: *clapping her hands* Yay! I'm going to kidnap Yang Yixuan and tell him the good news! Oh! He can come with me! I'll take Yingying as well! She needs more practice fighting
Luo Binghe: how many people from Cang Qiong are you fucking?!
Sha Hualing: less than 20! But they all know and they all know my favourites! I made sure to cum-oo-n-e-cat after we sat through Peak Lord Mu's lesson on romancing humans
Mobei Jun: *who found that lesson both very helpful and very pointed* that's very conservative of you.
Sha Hualing: ikr? You and Junshang are rubbing off on me. Making me act all old fashioned and stuff though this human method of talking is really hard to get the hang of
Mobei Jun: mn. It is very necessary for their health but they also do not do the cum-oo-n-e-cat very well either. It's very strange.
Luo Binghe: it's communicate! And...I'm going to be with people who aren't you two for awhile
This got away from me
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lelelego · 5 months
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hook, line, and sinker
(tav/astarion)
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queerism1969 · 7 months
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Very good video here. I have been at somewhat of a low point for the past two years because of the insidious narcissistic abuse I experienced when I was younger. It took me 20 years of experiencing the same treatment at the hands of the same relatives just to realize the source of it all. Also, I have been extremely surprised at just how the effects of this type of treatment manifest. The primary one for me has always been to suppress my feelings and emotions. Of course, that has a major psychological impact, which has started to affect me physically, which was the main thing that got my attention.
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unwelcome-ozian · 10 months
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yashley · 1 month
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I feel like if she's telling me so strongly to stay away from it, I don't trust her anymore.
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fortheloveofexy · 3 months
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it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.
like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.
I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.
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chromaticdrip · 7 months
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Tell Me is a comic I made for a school module back in...2021? The central prompt was 'betrayal', and I knew immediately I wanted to explore the aftermath of it rather than build up to it. While it's not the most impressive of stories, I'm still quite proud of this just by virtue of finishing it lol.
Anyway, there's no need for a back page since this is a web posting, but I like the art enough to show it. Here you go!
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deconstructthesoup · 2 months
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The parallel of Simon forgetting Betty as a result of going mad and Betty going mad as a result of not being able to forget Simon and yet both of their insanity manifests in an inherent obsession with the other will continue to make me lie awake at night
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thatorangedrank · 1 year
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Little is Alyx 👎🏻
Little is Penny 👎🏻
Little is a reflection of Ruby in Vol.1 and is a physical representation of “healing your inner child” 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍���👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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