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semischarmed · 3 years

Text

The Visit

I glance at my phone. 30 minutes. 30 minutes in this chair waiting for the doctor. 30 minutes in a freezing cold examination room wearing nothing but the disposable gown the nurse told me to wear. Now, I’m normally quite patient, but I begin to worry that they may have simply forgotten about me. I sit up straight, ready to leave the chair and ask for the nurse, when my new doctor comes into the room in a rush.

“Hey, Hey! Sorry, sorry. My last patient meeting went a bit over. That alright?“ He grins and verdant eyes sparkle. The man was dreamy. I could say nothing beyond nodding in agreement.

“Great! Glad to hear it” he beams. I feel an explosion of warmth within my chest and stomach and can’t help but smile back.

”Thank you so much for understanding. I’m Doctor Ryan! Good to meet you.” I readily shake his hand. Firm. Sturdy. Calloused.

“Okay great, so we’re just gonna run through your vitals, and… says here you noticed an odd mark show up near your penis?” I flush bright red in embarrassment at the mention. Unperturbed, he continues without skipping a beat “Hmmm.. we’ll definitely want to get that checked. Probably harmless, but could be something bad… I know the nurse probably covered most of these questions and took your vitals, but [he smirks] just wanna sure we get everything checked correctly, alright?” Damn it. Doctors always have a such way with words, I can’t help but melt in their arms. I feel a numb happy sensation wash over me and again nod in agreement. He was cute, too cute. God. Of course, whatever he thought this appointment was, he was completely off. Most likely picked up the wrong sheet or something, cause I only came for some immunizations.

Still, the man has me spellbound. I comply with his every whim as he continues running through his normal questioning. In every word, he further puts my will to sleep, with every phrase he draws me closer. To me, his every sentence has progressively slowed the world around us. Not that I’m complaining. I am adrift, motionless in his pool of questioning, sandwiched between warm ocean and sunlight. For a short few moments, I am at peace. I was practically sleeping by the time the second round of questions finished. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and break my spell slightly and I focus in on his beautiful face. “You okay there, bud?” More nods his way.

“Awesome. Let’s get started then.”

———

The physical was.. something else. We start with just an examination of my body. Pale, scholarly eyes remark on my every blemish, my every curve. It would be a nightmare in any other scenario, but in the secure glance of my doctor, I knew I was safe. Still, near his radiant heat, I could not help but get just a bit flustered. My answers are short, odd, my heart rate jumping to his vicinity.

He wiggles his stethoscope in the air. “We’re just gonna get your heart rate okay?” My mouth is hanging open and drooling slightly, but I nod. Really, it’s all I can do. Stunned to obedience. He just spoke so confidently, so assured in his examination. His tone was out of this world. It’s bright but resonant, like each word reverberated his command in my chest. His voice was no less potent. Sound-waves embrace the air with sweet honey, but an undertone of audible trust. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else, still caught in this man’s spell. Now, a handsome man gets me feeling the same way a doctor often does. But he was both. I can manage nothing beyond a smile and continue nodding “okay.”

I moan at the touch of the stethoscope. It was ice. Penetrative, cold ice, but in his expert hands, it felt like gift from the man. I imagine the metal is a piece of him, precious metal, precious silver embedding itself in me. I want it in me forever- uh, the man, not the stethoscope.

He grunts. Fuck. “Sorry” I say sheepishly. That moan was definitely audible then. Further embarrassment floods me, only tempered by by the tingling sense of relaxation I felt in being examined by this man. He takes the odd outburst in stride, giving a half smile before continuing. “Believe it or not, you’re not the first”. The man was a professional through and through.

---

In the middle of making sure my reflexes were still functioning, his face winces, and his upper lip trembles, immediately breaking my illusion. He lets out a quick gasp “Ah.. I.. aahhh” barely audibly. I watch as his knuckles grasp the sides of the cushion in my chair desperately, going white in the process. For the first time in our entire session, the haze cast by this man’s being is broken entirely. I feel the dullness in my mind clear as I take note of the oddness from what had just transpired. His mouth goes wide and his face scrunches up into an emotion that I can’t quite place between pain and pleasure. Maybe both? In any case, before I can even investigate further, it relaxes immediately. Emotionless.

Then, his eyes twitch before going glassy. Doctor Ryan looked like he was about to throw up. Pleading eyes stare into my soul, but the rest of his face remains blank. I am shocked beyond shocked at this point to do anything beyond stare in disbelief while a shit-eating grin slowly paints his face. His eyes blink back to lucidity- now focused on me, and single tear pools on the corner of his left eye and drips down his cheek. He stops it with his thumb before it can drop further, before nonchalantly wrapping plump lips around it. In a slight suction noise, when he pulls the thumb out his mouth in what looks to be a deliberately seductive manner, staring intently at my face the entire time. What the fuck.

Immediately, he returns to examining me, making no mention of what had just occurred. This time though, his movements seem just a bit erratic, a bit unrefined. I also catch brief glimpses of that same cringing face every time he moves to the next step in his examination, like he was pulling long-forgotten memories from what should be a fairly standard procedure. He repeats the physical, this time going over my every part much more slowly. Any touch, any connection we had seemed to linger just a bit longer than needed. He almost seemed... Interested? Nervous? Whatever case, with every movement, and every step, his hands get a bit steadier, actions more confident. Whatever just happened to him seemed to be over. I am intrigued, if a bit scared. He was acting suspicious. Too many things seemed to line up for me to dismiss this as just normal checkup. In lustful wishes, I invoke whatever I can, hoping I’m correct. I try to sneak a peak at the outline of his admittedly large penis in his scrubs. Absolutely Flaccid. Odd. Disappointing, to say the least. Whatever this weird, hot doctor was doing, he wasn’t getting off on it.

When he gets to my lower body, he abruptly splits my knees open, spreading my legs wide. Another moan almost escapes me. Thankfully a veil of disposable fabric separates my doctor from my now semi-erect penis. Unthankfully, I can’t help but tent the gown full mast when his ice cold hands begin to trace and snake slowly around my inner thigh. I look at him in shock and he just beams back at me like the past few minutes had not just happened. “Hmmm… great legs…” My face goes crimson and I scream internally at my own inability to control my own body. “Okay, your -hNnggg-ah cha-chart, yes. Apologies for the outburst… your chart seemed to mention some concerns about your penis? Let’s take a closer look” He states, looking up at me with a half-smile.

“No- er, I think- ah, you got the wrong-” I can barely stammer out a response in the raw stimulation of Doctor Ryan grabbing and gently examining my cock and balls. Pleasure bloomed wherever his fingers glided over. This was a mental battle I could not win. Mind versus body. I was fighting myself, my own urges. He makes gentle cupping motions around my balls, back and forth. I look at him in bewilderment. There was no way this was just for a normal examination. He smiles pleasantly, “just checking for anything out of place… so far, so good”. Mystery solved, I guess. He slowly wraps thick fingers, encircling my cock in an embrace. Not solved. Not solved. I am rock hard. He gives a short chuckle. “Well, at the very least, your nerves appear to be working…. Blood flow looks good as well…Nothing out of the ordinary so far”. I am beet red at this point. Fuck me. I can’t even compose myself in front of this man.

Then, Doctor Ryan gives it a tug. FUCK.

“Holy shiiiiiit” I moan out. I turn my head away as my body quivers and gives in to a moment of divine pleasure. Betrayed by my own senses. A second, higher pitched moan escapes my now open throat, barely audible, while the a tiny bit of clear fluid spills onto the doctor’s unflinching hand. I can’t bear to look this guy in the eye. I need a new fucking doctor.

“You know, this is completely natural. Absolutely a normal human body response. Don’t worry about it” he says absentmindedly as he continues. “If anything, at least we know you can still produce, so it doesn’t look like there’s anything to worry about”. He mumbles happily. Outside my sightline, I swear I hear a licking, slurping noise. His hand, looked a bit wetter than before too.That being said, my brain has shut down from humiliation. At this point all I can manage is a blank nod.

“Well, good news- you’re perfectly hea- Oh! Actually, do you mind?” He begins to unbutton his coat and then proceeds set it on the table beside me. “You know it’s always a bit hot and stuffy in these rooms”. My eyes can’t help but visually eat at the feast before me. Bare chest and stray hairs poke out from his scrubs. The sleeves are taut around his massive biceps. Despite the objectively unflattering material, it can’t help but conform slightly to his muscular physique. It was pretty clear before, but it was definitely fact now. My doctor was hot as fuck. Something about his last question eats away at my my brain. It wasn’t hot at all. The room is cold, dry, sterile. Hell, this whole hospital is. It’s like he has me back in a trance though. Words smooth as silk, body like sculpture. He had a power over me, so I nod in compliance without even acknowledging how absurd the previous statement was.

“So, as I was saying... the good news is your vitals are all in line.” He laughs kindly, patting my stomach “Maybe eat a bit more protein every now and then”. The voice is warm and reassuring. My brain relaxes to the end in sight to this half dream-half nightmare. I start to get up to get changed before I realize the entire reason for the visit.

“Hey-er, wait! My Immunizations! I needed to get some immunizations done for my-“

“Oh?” He cuts me off, eyebrows raised. Intrigue paints his face.

Then he leans in close, head right up to my ear until the parts of chest peaking from the hospital gown touches the stray hairs poking out from his scrubs. Until we share warmth in that cold examination room. He breathes alongside me in rhythm as he exhales.

“You…don’t need any immunizations. I do… well, I did, anyway. It’s too late for him now...But we do have something planned, for you-we’re gonna try an experimental processss. A brand new… test…just for you...” He whispers. He pauses as he continues to breathe and I feel the hot, damp air emanating from his mouth coat my ear. “We need to test you for... stimulation.” Dear God. That last word he draws out in a far, far different tone than before. It neither clinical nor polite, and it hit like a brick. There was raw emotion in that last word. Raw lust. He cups the other side of my face pulling my left cheek to touch his. Like his chest, it’s quite warm. I’m flush with redness and confusion. I gulp nervously.

His tone returns in its warmth and politeness, contrasted by the intimate position we are in. “Hmmmmm salivating...mmmm... Quite a bit actually. You’re either haven’t eaten… or… you’re hungry for something.” I can’t manage out anything coherent amidst the sensory overload. He continues confidently, “C’mon... I’m your primary care physician? Let me take care of it. Let me take care of you...” He sticks his hand down his own pants, scratching to readjust. With our chests together, I am brought to our present moment. A moment in paradise. When he ebbs, I flow. Like a dance, my chest caves in with every exhale as his puffs out. He does in turn. We were partners. His scent pours out unconfined, unfiltered by distance, concentrated in our proximity. Like rainfall and crushed grass. I could live in it. With our cheeks pressed together, I feel his every movement. Every word spoken drawn in by my inhale. These would be mine to keep. This moment was ours and ours alone. He brings up the same hand, now a bit slimier to take a whiff before shoving that sweaty, funky smelling hand right to my face. I can’t control myself and start inhaling my hot doctor. I lick the man’s hand clean. Delicious.

I continue lapping it up in silence before he finally breaks it to speak. “Mhmmmmm... that’s the stuff... Maybe if we feed you enough of this hot doctor’s cum, you’d pick up on some of his residual intelligence and figure who’s really running this man.” My eyes light up, and the pieces finally all click together in my head. I chuckle.

“Good to see you too, Ben.”

———

“Leave it to humans to take something so beautifully sensual and twist it. He’s a bit too good at compartmentalizing. In many respects… It’s fucking hot. But, you know, when he’s in this work mode, he sees you as nothing more than sack of meat. We’re not getting anywhere with him without a little push”. Without warning, Ben pulls the doctor’s pants down and fiddles with his new dick- still flaccid. Jesus Christ it’s huge.

“Look, even this... appendage. Yes that’s an atypical response. I mean look at me, look at this new body we acquired. I’m swimming in this human’s hormones.” He wraps his hand around and begins pumping it. “But see here, it’s still all clinical in this head. I can only get inside him so far. We need something to end this human’s resistance. We need something extra to break him out of this trance. We need raw emotion.”

Just then, the door comes wide open. It’s Austin.

As he closes the door behind him, I see his face more clearly. It’s Austin’s body, but its pilot is undeniably Ben. Austin had a certain swagger to him that my little alien buddy just can’t quite replicate.

Ryan’s mouth opens wide and I watch as his true form exits from my doctor’s mouth and shoot strait into Austin’s welcoming nose. I watch as the doctor goes lucid. His eyes go wide and he stares at me in horror before attempting to escape. Before he can, he is pinned to the ground by the far larger Austin. “Cmon man, smell this fucking body. Feel something”

“If you can’t… we’ll do it for you. We’re going for a wild ride.. relax and enjoy it.” Austin’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and I watch as he gives a crazed grin, jaws open unnaturally wide. His tongue sticks out, his head is bright red, and pulsing silver courses through now-prominent veins. Damn. My Doctor looks at me with one last pleading glance, but all I can do is moan “I want you mine.”

Doctor Ryan lets out an involuntary scream when he notices the changes in Austin’s face, which only work to his disadvantage as a pulsating, semi-solid mass of silver falls into his open maw. Austin sticks their mouths together. Using his tongue, he maintains a steady passageway for Ben. Using his lips, Austin keeps the doctor’s pried open to forcibly receive the precious silver. Their heads bob back and forth as more and more of the slimy mass falls into doctor. I watch as a massive lumps outline themselves in his throat, then his chest, before disappearing into the depths of his body. I notice a little bit pool and spill out the corner of his mouth. When the process is over, Austin’s body falls limply to the side. I stare at the messy pile of silver goo still smeared over Ryan’s drooling mouth. Should I?

I lean over, giving my dream man a kiss. My eyes flutter at the prospect. Ugh, he’s perfect. I feel the every contour of the face of man who would soon be ours, before sucking up the excess silver an a bit of his drool in my mouth. No use putting this stuff to waste.

In a flash, I feel ecstasy. “Jesus fucking christ” I moan, as I feel a burst of energy from within. The parts of silver which were Ben settle into me, surging me with power and I feel his thoughts reverberate in my mind. In that split second, I also feel the vertigo of looking from two bodies at once. I feel the immense pleasure of controlling two bodies at once and the parts of silver which were Austin become immediately apparent. Goddamn what a fucking power trip. Austin was mine. A quick rush of stolen confidence from my previous tormentor floods my insides and I welcome my updated sense of self. Fuck yeah. Took a part of him for me. He’s never getting this back. I stare at his body and will it up. My dominion, now. While his head still hung unconscious, I move my fingers and tingle in delight as I watch his hands follow. The moment is fleeting though, and I feel the disappointment as my vision recedes back to my singular one.”Hope you liked that” I feel Ben state in my head. “Just a taste. This piece of us you’ve ingested... I think it’s best you keep it. I find this setup beneficial to us both. We can keep in constant contact this way. You might find some residual power left over Austin too, thought probably not in the way you think… at least… not yet.“

Before I can question him in my head, the doctor’s body shivers awake and then spasms before letting out a primal scream. Ryan’s looked... bigger? Almost swollen. His body occupied the same space they did before, but there was a larger presence to him. His muscles pump up, obviously riled into a frenzy. “Just a little attitude adjustment, and...Goddamn easy mode, Fuck!” He faces me. His eyes are rolled to the back of his head and silvery veins pulse all over his body. Seconds later, he settles and his eyes return to focus me. “Fuck yeah, you wanted this doctor, right? Bro, you know my bod’s way better. Fuck it though, I don’t care as I’m a part of the ride. Remember your fucking promise.” He states through gritted teeth. Unnatural coming out of the normally Angelic Doctor Ryan.

“Your Doc’s too nice though, right? You… Ben… you deserve better. I’ll make us better for you. Look how much fucking bigger, how much more of a fucking man we are with some Austin mixed in....” I am speechless, but he’s right. The doctor now exuded a dominating presence. In any other circumstance, I’d be frightened and compliant. In the presence of Ben, I felt safe.

“Thank Ben he brought us inside this man. Mmmmmm his brain is delicious… I feel so much smarter inside him. We’re gonna fuck him up. Make him better, like you did to me. Twist his head. Make him want your cum almost as much as I do. Make him want to spread more Ben around…. Mmmm speaking of, I feel him inside me. He’s squirming into us both out and goddamn it feels good.” Ryan’s body moans Austin’s moan. “I can’t wait for you to learn how to do this... to put yourself inside me-Please! Fuck! Learn it faster! That... part of me you stole… I feel good as part of you, right? You like it in you, right? Pure fucking jock. Take good care of it…more where that came from”. It was definitely my doctor, but between the behavior and facial expressions, undeniably Austin. Well, post-Ben Austin.

“I-Arrgh” I watch curiously as the doctor’s body shivers. “Ben’s... ready for you.” He winks as his eyes briefly roll to their sockets and roll back. Austin-er Ryan’s demeanor immediately changed ”Had to do a little arranging inside this doctor. We just need one final piece. Ryan’s body ready to receive its new masters. I need you to put as much cum inside this man as you can... I really like this one, his position is useful. But his mind... it’s so vast. He’s no Austin...It’s gonna take a lot more of our genetic material to tame it.”

Austin-er Ben does pushups on the floor. He clears a few hundred before wiping his sweat all over his scrubs. Of course, despite channeling Austin’s very essence, this body is not nearly as buff or as muscular as his so I watch as Ryan is forced to push up and down beyond his limits, tears streaming down his eyes, hands and legs shaking in protest, forced smiling all the while. Previously crisp scrub are now stained, damp in Ben’s body’s perspiration. The smell this weird, hybrid mix emanated was unique. Of course, it still had the cleanliness I’d expect from a doctor. Fresh cologne and nature- exactly what I’d expect from the healthy, professional man which had previous examined me. This man before me was not the same man as before. Because, interwoven was the musk, the testosterone, the pungent stink of our deranged puppet Austin. It was altogether divine.

“Look at this.” He states with a sneer as he does a bicep flex. His damp scrubs hug his muscle tightly, almost breaking at the seams. The bicep is throbbing. “I feel this body crying in pain and exhaustion. From his mind though... do you know how muscles are made? Tiny tears regrown stronger” A pulse of silver darts through his veins, immediately returning it to stillness. “What wonderful new information. We’re gonna use that. Fill into these layers with a bit of Ben, and a bit of you”. He starts laughing now “Doc Ryan here doesn’t call the shots…This isn’t his body anymore… It’s ours.”

With that, Ben lifts my gown and sticks his drenched head near my already-hard cock. Fuck he’s warm. Our sweat and scents mingle and I feel my inner thighs go moist in the perspiration in the air.

“Austin, to the forefront. Combined effort. We need him body and mind. Let us create a new Ryan,” he states. My doctor slowly wrap his thick, plump lips over my dick. Moment’s later, the man’s wet tongue slides forward. I shudder. A bit tickles in a spot just below the head and I squirm on the spot. Jesus fuck, oh- oh fuck, he’s good- he’s really good.

My shaking hands are sloppily held in place. I move them reflexively in the onslaught of pleasure. It’s like Ryan’s body was made for this. Absolute Heaven. I let out a loud moan as I continue to squirm in the confines of my position. Ben had commandeered some control of Austin’s unconscious body, and it stood there, just over me, holding my hands in place and body. Its eyes were rolled back, mouth drooling. Bits of spit dribbled to my forehead. I paid them no mind. Basically an extension of my own bodily fluids at this point anyway. Besides, whatever made Austin, Austin was mostly inside Ryan now, helping Ben add a wonderful new addition to our collection.

Ryan’s sensual motions, His body expertly bobbing, beckons mine. Erotic symphony. I can do nothing beyond quake in my seat. I hold for as long as I can but it’s too much. This was it. First, I moan. Then, I scream. FUCK. Goddamn bliss. Sweet Release. Pure Ecstasy. I am reduced to babbling internally as I release more and more of myself inside Ryan’s welcoming mouth. Using his powerful chest, he creates a slight suction, greedily taking as much of my cum inside as he can. The body begins to choke for air, but I feel Austin and Ben smile instead and continue inhaling my cum. Their eyes only relayed one word. More. There’s not much else I could have done anyway, because I continue to spew load after load inside the man. It’s the best I ever felt, the longest it’s ever been and the most I ever given. I sit in extended euphoria, paralyzed in bliss. Logic aside, ethics aside, this was my new order. Our new order. In my mind I strive to continue on, to bring more to this light. So many delicious fucking bodies in this town. So many new ‘me’s destined, yearning for my control- even if they didn’t know it yet. That last bit might have been some of Austin’s megalomania in me.

The phone rings at Ryan’s side and he picks it up. Someone patches in a call.

“Doctor are you alright? We heard some odd noises“. I watch Ben in alarm. He cracks his head to the side, cock still in his mouth, and veins coursing in silver fluid display prominently in his temples. He switches demeanor almost seamlessly back. In contrast, like strings cut, Austin’s body falls over me, unmoving. I didn’t mind. I inhale his jock essence as I listen in.

“Yewph- Iw- Ehem.. I’m quiw ahwigh, *gulp*… ahhh yeah.. Apologies, Nancy this appointment is taking just a bit longer than expected. I’ll be ready soon- just need a little more time with this one.” Every word again resounds warmly, calmly, politely in this man. When Ben channels Ryan, it’s like I’m hearing the same person who examined me earlier. He was ours. I glance his way and a bit of my cum is still on his lips as he continues his conversation. He happily draws it to his mouth with a finger and sucks it clean. My cock is drenched in the doctors sweat. Fucking hot. Ben found us a real catch. “Dr. Ben” ends the call and mentally, he’s back to our present situation, back to huffing in breathless pleasure, as he continues sucking the any residual mess in me clean. He gives me a wink as he finishes.

Ryan then stands over to Austin, and, in a reverse of the process from earlier vomits out the same silvery mass, now slick with streaks of white, back into its container. There was significantly less this time. From the still open mouth of Ryan, I watch the tiny man emerge, giving me a motion that indicated he was smiling. “I’m staying in this one a bit longer. Driving this particular specimen gives me a pleasure not wholly physical.” The mouth slowly closes and Ryan’s eyes show life again. He smiles. I look expectantly at the two of them. They begin making out. The sounds are sloppy and I can’t help but get a bit jealous. Taking note, they both stop abruptly before giving me a wink. The both speak at once while Ryan begins stripping stark naked.

“Can’t help it...You should come and stay in this room for a while. My next patient’s got quite a body we can utilize, based on this man’s memory. You still got some cum left in you? I can’t expand further without it” I nod happily. If Ben thinks he’s cute, we had to at least try. What am I saying? I can produce like a motherfucker, took part of my bully inside, made it mine. I may not look it yet, but I was alpha now.

“Austin, strip down, I need some new clothes, and yours are a better fit.” Austin’s face cringes and I watch as his normal personality returns. Normal was a stretch, because he was far more subservient now than he was before this all began. Ben then looks at me with a toothy smile as he walks over to my pile of neatly folded clothes and digs out my underwear. He nonchalantly strips stark naked and then proceeds to put on my underwear. “This is a tight- Hmph!” He struggles to get each thick leg through “-ah, your clothes...Mmm! So tiny”. This results in my hot, nearly naked doctor wearing my underwear tightly. It’s pulled to its seams as it’s forced to constrict and hold together the doctor’s massive package. I watch as his cock begins to get hard, only to be restricted by the fabric. He moans at the setup. “Ayyyyeeee fuck! Fuck yeah. It feels like you’re in here, squeezing this host’s cock and ass. I’m gonna make sure he wears this forever. I’m gonna make sure this imprints our scent into this man. Look at me. Look at this muscle. Ryan..mmmmm.... all the brains and brawn in the world couldn’t help you. Every time he gets hard on, I want him to be wearing this. I want his penis to scrape this, to be bound by it, forever a reminder of who the real Ryan is now.”

Ben’s new doctor personality switches back. He politely gestures to his pile of clothes, still freshly warm before looking at me. “If you’re gonna be my assistant, you’ll need to look the part,” he states with a kind smile. I eye the warm pile, almost steaming in the residual heat. Ryan’s body licks its lips. Ben again. “Wear it. This man is ours, forever. Take ownership of that. Of those clothes. There’s so much of your genetic material embedded inside this particular specimen, at this point these are your own as much as it is his.”

I rush over to put the scrubs on, to feel the residual heat in my doctor Ryan envelop me. I relish in it. Still warm and moist with his sweat. It was like I was wearing the man myself. Of course, it fits loosely over me, and I barely pass as an assistant. He leans over to me. “smell it” he whispers. “Smell yourself. I like you better this way”. He’s right. I smell so fucking alpha in this getup. Ben then begins putting on Austin’s clothes, which are a much better fit.

In contrast, Austin is forced to wear the remainder my clothes, which he creepily sniffs first and ends up with it fitting way too tight and revealing on him. I gesture to offer the scrubs I just put on instead, but he immediately declines in a huff, “No... I’m fucking better this way. More... complete” He moans “This was the way I was meant to be... yours... wearing this makes me feel like you’re here inside me, wearing your own clothes. I belong like this...This is your body, it misses you, and he doesn’t feel whole until you’re back home.” He pats himself. “I can’t wait for you to become this. And I’m not fucking taking no for an answer either. One day, I’m putting you where you belong- inside me so we can never be separated again. Moving around feels empty when you’re not in here doing it for me”. What the fuck did Ben do? The guy, my previous bully was horny just being near me. It felt amazing.

I silently thank Ben. Whatever Austin was rambling on about turned me the fuck on. I smiled. That piece of Austin I ingested earlier- I think his shitty vocab’s been rubbing off on me. Regardless, Austin was right- wearing him, controlling him from the inside was where I belonged. I deserved it. Deserved him. “Wait for us at home- we won’t be long” Ben instructs Austin through Ryan in a fatherly tone. Austin complies, leaving the room, staring longingly at me until he no longer could.

Ben puts on his coat. “Well then, that’s settled. I hope your cock is ready, human, we have a full schedule of bodies to possess.“

-End of “Ben Pt. 2″-

A smarter version of me would have split this into two parts. Also, preemptive apologies to anyone in a medical profession.

#Male possession #Alien possession #Male control #male puppet #male body control

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praxeus-13 · 3 years

Note

Hello! So happy to see a new fic blog, especially one that has fics for the Master! May I request a fluffy Dhawan!Master x reader in which the reader is the doctor’s companion but doesn’t want to admit she’s in love with the Master? And you can choose the circumstances, but maybe the master “captures” and hypnotizes her in front of the fam and she accidentally reveals it? Thank you so much! I loved “warmth” a lot. 🥰🥰🥰♥️♥️♥️

Thank you so much! I absolutely loved this request as I was already planning on writing something along these lines. I couldn’t find a way to get the hypnotism to work but everything else is there so I hope you enjoy!

Well Kept Secrets

Pairing: Dhawan!Master x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2800

Summary: (what the ask says)

For: @agentmalfoy24601

Warnings: None

You really hadn’t meant to fall for The Master, but intention never seemed to stop anyone when it came to falling in love.

When you first met him, as O, you weren’t quite sure what to think. He was a bit strange, but still sweet - and while he wasn’t your type, you couldn’t deny that he was very attractive. However, there were a few moments when you would look at O and see someone else, and that person interested you. Looking back now, you knew that you had seen his persona slip, even if just for a second, and that had been what had drawn you to him.

When he had revealed himself on the plane it had only drawn you in more. Of course, you had been terrified in the life or death situation, but you had also felt a buzz of excitement and intrigue. If he hadn’t have left you to die on that plane, you know that there was a chance you would have gone with him.

Then The Doctor had sent him off to the Kasaarvin’s dimension and you had lost hope of ever seeing him again, only for him to show up two weeks later.

The Doctor had taken you all to some market planet, given you a credit stick and told you to go off and explore. Originally, you had been wandering around with Graham, but then you had gotten sidetracked and lost sight of him. You had also lost sight of anything else that you recognised so you had started to amble around in hopes of finding someone or something to help.

At first, you hadn’t even seen The Master, so focused on your surroundings that you almost walked right into him, and you barely understood what was happening when he grabbed your arm and dragged you down a quiet side alley.

When you had finally recognised who he was and what had happened, you had been to shocked to stutter out a full sentence. That had caused him to smirk and cockily ask if he was the only one who could leave you speechless, which only made you more flustered.

Once you had finally managed to compose yourself you asked how he was alive, a question that he had ignored in favour of pushing you up against the closest wall and kissing you. It took your brain a few seconds to catch up with the fact that he was actually kissing you before you started to kiss back. Then he had swiftly broken off the kiss and told you that he’d be seeing you, before walking out of the alleyway and back into the bustling streets.

By the time you had finally made it back to the rest of the group, you had managed to get your brain back to its normal working order. Though, when your friends asked you where you had been you told them you simply told them that you had gotten lost after spotting something interesting, resolving not to bring up The Master at all.

True to his promise, he had shown up again about a week after that, kissing you senseless yet again and leaving with little explanation.

After this happened a few times, always when you got separated from the group, you started to have proper conversations with each other. A first they were only about whatever trouble he had caused on the planet to distract The Doctor with, but soon you had started to talk to each other more and more about your lives. He wasn’t as stingy on details as The Doctor was, but you could tell he was still keeping quite a bit of information from you.

Then he started showing up at your apartment, which was a little bit concerning, but he always knocked rather than just bursting in like you knew The Doctor would, so you didn’t really mind. Soon enough your relationship had changed from just meeting up and making out for five minutes, to meeting up and talking for a few hours. Though it was slow, you felt yourself start to fall in love with this strange alien man.

Of course, this caused a lot of internal conflict, especially considering you were still travelling with The Doctor and the rest of the fam. You knew that they were your friends - practically a second family at this point - but you feared that if they ever found out about your relationship with The Master you would loose them. So you kept quiet and tried to pretend that you weren’t secretly dating the man who had tried to kill you all. Every time the two of you met up on one of your trips with The Doctor was both exhilarating and frightening, and while you loved seeing him all the time you were always worried that one of your friends would catch you with him.

When The Master invited you to travel with him instead of The Doctor several months into your relationship, you didn’t quite know what to say. You knew that you loved him, but you had never been able to say it aloud, and you weren’t even sure if he loved you back. As well, it wasn’t like you didn’t like travelling with The Doctor and the fam; it was brilliant, even if you did end up running for your life on most adventures, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to leave them just yet.

Unfortunately, you had taken too long to give The Master an answer, and he ended up storming off without stopping when you cried out his name, not caring to listen to any explanation you had to give.

That had been a month ago and you hadn’t heard a word from him since, which had only upset and worried you. Even if you weren’t ready to travel with him then, you had hoped that you could still be in a relationship with him. You knew that your friends had noticed your mood, and they had all tried to talk to you about it, but you reassured them that you were okay and didn’t say anything more.

————

Now you were on another adventure with your friends, using it again to distract yourself from debating whether you and The Master had broken up or whether he was going to randomly show up and pretend that nothing happened. The planet that you had landed on was overrun with nature, and the ruins of whatever civilisation had been there previously were barely noticeable.

Somehow The Doctor had managed to find a very large cathedral-like building that was still mostly in tact, which was what you were currently exploring.

Without any warning you were grabbed from behind and pulled into someone’s tight grip, causing you to yelp and try to struggle away. Then you noticed who exactly had a hold of you and you stopped struggling as much, making a conscious effort to not relax completely into the hold that you had gotten so used to after the last few month.

Your friends had turned around at the noises and their faces were now a mix of anger and concern, glaring at The Master.

“Let her go.” The Doctor told him, her tone indicating her worry.

“Well, I would, but I think (y/n) is quite comfortable in my arms Doctor.” He spat his response at her, tightening his grip further, but still making sure not to hurt you.

You were trying to resist looking up at him, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide the love that your expression would hold.

“No, you’re scaring her, now let her go and I might consider giving you whatever you’ve come here for.”

In your chest your heartbeat had started to pick up speed, you could see that The Master was trying to let onto your friends about your relationship, and you only hoped that he wouldn’t actually say anything.

“Hmm, seems I know your companion better than you.” At this comment you finally looked at him, hoping that he would see the look in your eyes and just walk away without saying anything.

He didn’t look down at you though, and just stayed glaring at The Doctor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The Doctor was starting to sound irritated, but there was a hint of fear in her voice as well.

Still trying to stop him from revealing your relationship, you squeezed his hand and tried to get his attention. Unfortunately, he continued to ignore you, and you started to feel much more anxious.

The Master let out a hysteric sounding laugh at The Doctor’s question, and it wasn’t anything like the soft laugh you had grown used to. Though you hated to admit it, he was starting to scare you.

“You don’t even have a clue of what I’m talking about.”

Looking back at the four of them to gauge their reactions, you could see that Yaz and The Doctor were very close to piecing it all together, and Ryan and Graham wouldn’t be too far behind. Instinctively, you pressed further into The Master’s hold, trying to feel some semblance of comfort or safety. Obviously he knew what you were trying to do, he had gotten used to you snuggling close to him whenever you watched a scary movie or had a nightmare, and, either consciously or unconsciously, he started to stroke the back of your hand with his thumb.

“No…” The Doctor’s gasp could barely be heard, but it still caused your gaze to fall to the floor in shame.

You knew that you probably shouldn’t love him, but you did, and now you were going to face the consequences. All you hoped is that after loosing your friends, you wouldn’t loose The Master too.

“Yes.” The Master replied gleefully.

“You can’t- you must have hypnotised (y/n)! She wouldn’t willingly enter a relationship with you.”

“Well, clearly she would, because she did. I haven’t hypnotised her, or threatened her, or drugged her. (Y/n) is with me by choice.” The Master was very clearly pissed off at the implementation that he would do anything to injure you.

Honestly, you were slightly annoyed at it too, the only time he had ever come close to harming you had been on Barton’s plane, and you had gotten out of that alright in the end. You squeezed his hand for comfort again, and this time he squeezed back, calming you down slightly.

“Stop playing games and give (y/n) back.” The Doctor’s voice sounded almost dangerous now, and you were starting to worry for both your safety and The Master’s.

However, The Master seemed unfazed as he ignored her and continued to hold you, “You know it’s true, I can see it in your eyes, but if you’re still having trouble believing it then why don’t you just ask (y/n)?”

Of course he would put you on the spot, you had known him long enough to realise that this whole setup was coming from a place of vulnerability. He was worried that you were going to leave him, that you didn’t care for him anymore, and instead of talking to you about it he was lashing out. It was something that you had been trying to work on with him, but after your hesitation to answer his proposal of travelling with him, he had jumped to conclusions and this was the result.

The silence after he had told The Doctor to question was so deafening that you swore your frantic heartbeat was echoing around the abandoned building. You forced yourself to look up, to look at The Doctor in the eye, and it seemed to be the push she needed.

“(Y/n)?” She didn’t need to ask the question, it was already hanging in the air.

“I chose to be in a relationship with him, he didn’t force me into it.” And then, much quieter, you added on, “I love him.”

Part of you had hoped that no one would have heard what you said, but the room you were in had been dead silent. The Master’s grip on you relaxed in shock, holding you as though you were fragile enough that you could shatter like glass. You tilted your head towards him so you could see his reaction, still slightly worried that he wouldn’t reciprocate.

He seemed to be staring down at you with awe and love, and you couldn’t quite believe that he was looking at you like that.

“You love me?” He asked you, his voice impossibly soft.

You simply nodded in response, unable to form any words. The Master bought one of his hands up to cup your face lightly, as though he was still afraid of breaking you.

“I love you too.” He was almost whispering when he said it but a smile immediately formed on your face.

He leant in to kiss you and you kissed him back eagerly. Unfortunately the kiss was cut short by a not so subtle cough from the direction of your friends.

Still comfortably in The Master’s hold, you turned to face your friends again, feeling your face heating up as you blushed.

“Okay, am I the only one who’s really confused?” Ryan asked, looking around at the rest of your friends for confirmation.

He got a chorus of ‘no’s’ in response and if it wasn’t such a strange situation you might have laughed.

“Yeah, how come you’re in love with the guy who tried to kill us? Cause I feel like I’ve missed a lot.” Graham asked, as clueless as he usually was.

“I’m pretty sure that (y/n) has been secretly dating The Master.” Yaz piped up, and you were slightly glad that she had answered for you.

“Yeah that’s basically the gist of it.” You laughed awkwardly, yet again squeezing The Master’s hand for comfort.

They seemed to mull over this for a few minutes, before The Doctor finally spoke up again.

“(Y/n), are you sure that you want to be with him?” She asked you, and for once it was a question that you could answer easily.

“Yes, I am.” You smiled at her, and you knew that The Master was probably smiling at you.

“Then I suppose I can’t do anything to stop you from loving him.” Then she turned her focus to The Master, “but if you hurt her expect serious consequences!”

He rolled his eyes, “I wouldn’t expect anything less, but I won’t hurt them.”

The Doctor and your other friends then proceeded to interrogate the two of you (though they were mainly focused on The Master) about your relationship. Even if it was slightly annoying, you appreciated their concern and protectiveness over you. During the ordeal The Master constantly acted as though he was extremely annoyed and offended at their interrogation, though you could tell that he was glad you had such good friends - even if one of them was his best enemy.

Eventually the six of you made it back to the two TARDISes, and you all paused outside. He hadn’t bought up the question of whether you would join him in his TARDIS since the first time, and you were still slightly worried that you had missed your opportunity.

Then he turned to you, still holding on of your hands even though you were no longer in his hold, “Want to travel with me?”

He asked with such hope in his expression that you felt your heart melt, even after you had rejected him the first time he was still holding out hope.

A wide grin formed on your face and you nodded, “I’d love to.”

He grinned back and pulled you in for another kiss, much to the disgust of your friends.

The next thirty minutes were spent packing up your possessions and moving them from The Doctor’s TARDIS to The Master’s. That was then followed by teary hugs as you said goodbye to your friends and made promises to call and meet up with them whenever you were all on Earth at the same time. The Doctor made sure that you knew to call her if anything ever went wrong, promising that she’d be there immediately.

Despite the grief that you felt leaving your friends and that chapter of your life behind, you were eager to start travelling with The Master and to see how your relationship would develop. The Doctor, Graham, Ryan and Yaz had definitely become a second family to you, but you knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time you saw any of them.

Holding The Master’s hand, you let him pull you into his TARDIS as you waved goodbye to your friends, before turning around and beaming at him. As soon as the door was shut he pushed you up against it and kissed you senseless - reminding you very much of your first kiss with him.

“Where to first, love?” The Master asked as he brushed a stray piece of hair away from your face.

“Anywhere, as long as it’s by your side.”

#the master x reader #dhawan!master x reader #dhawan!master

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scorsoneamelia · 3 years

Text

oh my god ok so i decided to write a little smth about my girl amelia because i love writing and i used to do it all the time but i stopped and i rlly rlly wanna get back into it

so i wrote smth that takes place at the end of s17 after the amelink proposal

TW: mention of drugs/addiction/death

Sometimes --- more often that usual, it feels like the world is ending, like life will never slow down, no matter how many times she wishes and she prays that she'll be able to wake up and it will feel like a breath of fresh air; to be able to wake up and have the rays of the morning sunshine creeping it's way through the dark curtains, hitting her boyfriend's face at an angle that made him look absolutely breathtaking, an angel sent from God himself, so beautiful that it'd take her breath away, and maybe even her heart would skip a beat-- literally. And then his eyes would flutter open so delicately and the rays would make his blue eyes sparkle, looking even more blue than she ever remembered.

But instead, she woke up with the alternative.Alone--oh, ever so lonely. He had sprung up the big question, getting down on one knee and pouring his absolute heart out, even giving her four rings because the boy was worried and conflicted on exactly what he wanted the ring to look like. It wasn't like she didn't want to, or that she didn't love him because oh my god, she loved him. Loved him so much that sometimes it made her chest feel tight and it made her want to understand what she did to deserve someone like him, someone as amazing as him.

You challenge me... you-you.. thrill me. You.. impress the hell out of me.

On top of the world-wide pandemic, Scout-- Meredith's kids, her mind is going a million miles a minute and for once she wants to take a step back-- out of her own mind, her own life and just breathe.

And there's definitely nobody on Earth like you.

She can't get the image out of her head, the heartbreak that spread across his face, the absolute sadness and pain that washed away the big big smile he had previously been giving her. She didn't mean to just blank and stare at him with no words, no expression-- she just froze.

So now, she woke up alone, her boyfriend not beside her. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath and maybe it was because life sucked or maybe it was because of the nightmare that kept flashing through her head, in bits of pieces like a flash on a camera. Appearing back into her mind for a second before she completely forgets what the dream was even about. It was about her father-- it's always about her father. But this time, it was about her father-- Ryan, Derek and even Christopher. Four of the most important people to her; gone. The curtains were closed, the rays couldn't peak their way inside, or maybe it was because it was ten o'clock at night-- the room so so dark, almost as dark as her mind as been lately.

Meetings had been harder to attend, the pandemic had only been allowing them to do meetings over a computer screen, in the same atmosphere that is making her feel like she's going crazy. Scout takes all of her free time away-- actually all of her time. She loves him, more than she loves herself but for months now she hasn't been able to breathe, especially with her nieces and nephew also needing all of hers and Link's full attention. She's doing this because they're her family and Meredith is on a vent, the world trying to take even more away from her.

A day or two at work is what she needed this week to feel like she was alive again, cutting into someone's brain to give her some kind of feeling, even if it was just adrenaline. Sometimes, Amelia wishes that the adrenaline was enough. Was enough feeling for her to keep going-- god, she wants to give up so badly.

So, that night instead of waking to her boyfriend's beautiful blue eyes, she woke up to an empty room and an empty house because her sister was nice enough to take the kids for a day, the day after her wedding because hell-- she was that nice. She broke down, tears staining her cheeks and she was worried she wasn't going to stop.

You're loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of me. How am I supposed to call you up and tell you that I've been shot? I can't tell you about my pain-- I don't want you to know that pain exists.

Derek--- she missed her big brother more than she has ever missed anyone. Her father being an exception but Derek, her favourite person in the entire world was taken from her too soon and once again it felt like her world was crashing down around her. His voice was repeating in her head like a broken record and it was loud--- so loud, was she crazy?

You're my favourite sister.

She couldn't breathe, it was like she was reliving the news all over again. Her chest felt like it was caving in and Derek's voice was still ringing in her head, like he was haunting her.

"We did that." Amelia nodded, standing next to her older brother after a successful brain surgery that saved the mother of her friend's son.

"We did that." He agreed. "We gotta publish." She joked, Derek looking over at her and replying with, "Oh hell yeah we do... You ever think about doing drugs again-"

"Remember this?" Amelia interrupted.

"I was gonna say call me and I'll fly down to Los Angeles to knock some sense into you." He joked, causing them both to laugh. "But okay... remember this. But that doesn't work,"

"Yeah, you can totally kick my ass." She joked, extending her arm to shove him in the arm gently, both of them laughing while he pulled her into a tight hug. "Done. I love you." Derek said softly while he tightly held onto his little sister, and she was hugging him back as if she never wanted to let him go.

Her favourite person in the entire world was gone and she didn't know what to do anymore, grief comes in waves and it never goes away. It's true what they say about grief-- it gets better with time... because it does and she knows that better than anyone else. But what they don't say is that when it does come back, it's like a wave hitting you when you least expect it and then you're drowning, trying to catch your last breath before you're suffocating.

"You didn't kill Ryan," the girl with the dyed red hair had stated, someone that had became her friend after her first night at the treatment centre.

"Excuse me?" Amelia asked, mostly taken by surprise because it was in front of a group of people, a literal group of people.

"You didn't kill him. You might've wrote the prescriptions but he took the drugs himself." Everyone was listening now, her secrets now out in the open. Secrets she never shared with the group.

"Shut up, Hayley." Amelia snapped.

"And that guilt-- that's gonna kill you. That's what killed my best friend, it was guilt. Cause her mom was so freaked that she had a breakdown and her dad left-" It was like it was just the two of them, direct eye contact with each other. It was like everyone else that was in the room disappeared.

"Hayley... you don't know what the hell you're talking about, you're a child and you need to shut up." She cut the girl off, getting frustrated that she was even sharing her own personal secrets with everyone else. She could feel the pain rising in her chest, a tight feeling stuck at the bottom of her throat. She didn't believe that.. she did kill him.

"You didn't.. kill him!" Hayley tried again, the girl clearly wanting to get her point across. "Okay? He took the drugs himself, you didn't make him take them. He took them himself! You gotta get that, before I left here.. you have to get that. Because if you don't-- you're not gonna make it," Amelia's vision was blurry now, the tears drowning her sad blue eyes. "And I need you to make it. I know you loved him, and I know he loved you. But he took... the drugs... himself."

Amelia finally broke down, sobs taking over her body. They were loud cries, cries of pain, cries for help. There was pain all over her body, rushing throughout her body like waves crashing against the shore. Burying her head into her hands, pulling her legs onto the chair and pulling them against her chest, trying to make herself feel small because that's how she felt--- small.

It was cold in the room, and she was numb. Memories were flooding in, Derek, Ryan, Christopher-- her father. The room was cold, almost as cold as the hotel room was when Ryan died. He died-- right beside her. Her boyfriend died right before they were going to get sober, be happy together.. he died. He didn't make it. And no matter how many times she thinks back to that day in rehab when Hayley reminded her that it was not her fault, it was her fault and not a day goes by where she doesn't blame herself.

She wasn't crying anymore, she was just sitting in her bed with her legs pressed against her chest, no emotion and no thoughts other than the faces of everyone she has ever lost. The short moments she spent with Christopher, her dad getting shot and Derek holding her so tight that she couldn't move, Owen telling her the news about Derek dying. Link hadn't checked in, he hadn't called, he hadn't texted and she didn't blame him. He was hurt, like he deserved to be and she couldn't be mad at him for not showing up at the house to see her. But she did need him, she needed someone, but her one sister was in a hospital bed with machines breathing for her, and her other sister was with her husband and the kids--- her kid.

After she ended up forcing herself out of bed, her mind still loud and her entire body numb, a lump constantly sitting at the bottom of her throat--- she was walking through the front doors of a quiet, dark and small bar. Not many people were there, just a few people eating some food with their friends, some had a beer in front of them. Amelia doesn't know how she got here but she was sitting down at the bar, blue eyes heavy and sad, old makeup from earlier in the day staining her cheeks.

"You look like you need a drink," The bartender spoke as he made his way over to her. He was tall, sandy blonde hair with green eyes, he definitely didn't hurt the eyes to look at. "What can I get ya?"

Her sad eyes slowly glanced up at him and she didn't answer. She didn't know what she was doing-- a drink? She hasn't a drink in a few years, the last time being when Meredith was in the hospital for being attacked. It's been a while and she thought she was doing good-- better. She thought about Link, and Scout, who needed him. Scout needed her, more than he needed anyone. It was almost enough for her to stand up and leave the bar until her mouth opened and she was ordering a drink. "Vodka tonic."

"Coming right up." The boy winked, moving to the opposite side of the bar to mix her drink. Amelia thought she'd feel some kind of regret, but instead she continued to sit there; numb.

The glass was placed in front of her and her hands were reaching for it, as she lifted it to her lips and took a sip, the feeling of the Vodka burning her throat. Memories continuing to flood her mind, only causing her to drink back the drink faster, which only caused the bartender to place another drink in front of her.

-----

Five drinks; she already drank five drinks and at this point she could feel the alcohol in her bloodstream, already making her feel much more calm and more relaxed. The feeling of being drunk again was a good feeling; scary good. Scary to the point where she was worried about slipping again, which is what she already did. She's at a bar, five drinks in, almost onto her sixth with a young male; attractive male sitting beside her making small talk. She already slipped.

She had eight missed calls from Maggie, none from her boyfriend. Her state of mind was making her more and more angry, angry that he hasn't checked in. Sober Amelia would be telling herself, it's not his fault, you said nothing to his proposal. Give him space. But drunk Amelia, is angry, pissed, hurt--- angry that he stopped checking in. He told her he'd check in, he promised her he'd check in but instead he went to his best friend, Jo's house and she hasn't heard from him.

"Where are you headed to after this?" The green eyed boy was moving closer, his eyes trailing down her body as she sat there, body feeling like she was floating.

"Nowhere with you," she answered. "I have a boyfriend." Would Link be still considered her boyfriend even though she never responded to his proposal?

"That's unfortunate," he sighed, pulling his drink up to his lips. "Where's your so-called boyfriend?"

Jo's, is what she wanted to reply but it's not like the boy would know what she was talking about, nor did he even care, he was just wanting her to come home with him. "Just at home."

Her phone was buzzing on the table again, and she was already six drinks in. The memories that had previously filled her head were now gone and all she felt was dizzy. Dizzy, numb--- great. She felt great, amazing. Maggie was calling again and she was about to decline the call before she remembered why she might be calling. Scout.

"Maggie, hey," Amelia answered, trying her best to sound sober. "So sorry, I was asleep." She was hoping that Maggie would believe her, despite her words slurring together.

"Amelia, where are you actually? I just came by the house to drop the kids off and you're not home and I don't know where Link is, are you with him?" Fuck fuck fuck. She's so stupid, stupid for showing up to a bar knowing damn well that she'd have to take care of 4 kids by the end of the night. She had a debate with herself, debating on whether or not she should tell Maggie the truth or lie.

"I was asleep, I had to run to the hospital for a consult," she lied. "I'm on way back." Amelia thought the lie was good, even though she was slurring. But Maggie didn't sound too convinced but she agreed that she'd see Amelia at the house before they both hung up the phone.

One more drink she told herself before she was dialling a cab so that she could get home safely because even though she slipped she can't be responsible for someone else dying.

-----

It was late. Almost one in the morning when Amelia walked through the front door, stumbling is the right word to describe it. She assumed Maggie and the kids would be asleep but she was greeted with Maggie, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she stood up from the couch.

"It has been a long day," Amelia started, so obvious she was drunk. "My bedroom is calling my name."

"Amelia," Maggie said, with so much sadness in her voice. Maggie was far from stupid, she was brilliant, a genius, she could see right through Amelia.

"No questions, just bed." Amelia headed towards the stairs, swinging her bag over her shoulder before Maggie walked up to her, stepping in front of her to stop her from going up the staircase. Maggie made a face, a you smell like vodka face and then she was putting her hands on Amelia's shoulders and pulling her into a hug, a tight hug, so tight that the hug itself almost made Amelia break down into a puddle of tears. A hug is exactly what she needed, especially right now. "I'm sorry..." Were the only words Maggie could form and she just held her. One hand was pressed against the back of Amelia's head while the other was wrapped around her, it never seemed like she was going to let go.

Amelia was dizzy, and she was sad and she could barely stand so she used Maggie to hold herself up. "No," Amelia cried out, a single tear dripping off of her soft eyelashes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I did it again. I'm a mess, I did it again."

"No, no, no," Maggie said, pulling away from Amelia before brushing a single strand of hair out of her face and pushing it behind her ear. "You're not a mess."

Amelia just stared at Maggie, her eyes heavy, her blue eyes drowning in a puddle of tears and Maggie could see the pain in her eyes and it made Maggie sad, she cared about Amelia so much. Before the two could exchange any other words, Scout was crying from his crib upstairs.

"I'll get it," Amelia slurred, dropping her bag to the floor and stumbling backwards as she grabbed onto the railing of the staircase.

"No," Maggie said sternly. "I'll do it, just go lay down, I'll join you after." Maggie helped Amelia up the stairs because honestly--- she thought she was going to fall down, the girl could barely walk.

Amelia was already laying in her bed, the room spinning around her and before she had even a minute to rest, she was running to the bathroom to empty out her stomach into the toilet. Six drinks didn't seem like very many but maybe it is for someone who hadn't had anything to eat because she forgot to and she hasn't had a sip of alcohol in a long time. She was doing so well, dammit.

She wasn't alone for long because while Amelia was gripping onto the toilet bowl, knuckles turning white her hair was being pulled up and out of the way. Maggie was rubbing her back in a comforting way, trying anything that she could to help the girl.

After puking, she stayed sat on the floor, sitting with her back against the wall and the room was still spinning. Maggie slid down the wall to sit beside her, pulling Amelia into her side.

"You're going to be okay," Maggie said, pulling Amelia closer to her and since the room was spinning so fast, she had to rest her head on Maggie's shoulder because she needed to sleep. "We'll start fresh tomorrow."

She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and even though the alcohol made her feel good, she also felt regret and shame. So much shame. She hated herself, she hated that she did this to herself again.

She did this to Scout.

And to Link. And to everyone she cares about.

Everyone she's ever lost would be so disappointed in her, she knew they would be because that's what she was. Disappointed in herself.

But maybe she was right, one day at a time and even though she got to this point again, she'll try again tomorrow and hope and pray that she doesn't start spiralling.

The last image in her head before she started to doze off was Derek and her dad, the most important people in her life.

#ameliashepherd #gresyanatomy #atticus link #link and amelia #amelink #amelia #drshepherd #meredithgrey #duncan shepherd #link

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luminescencefics · 3 years

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you feel like home - part seven

“I know that. And I’m sorry. Just—fuck, Ryan—I need to speak with you. Please.” It’s the waver of his voice that forces Ryan to finally look into his eyes, noticing the way his skin looks taut and the bags underneath are more pronounced now than ever before. The pallor of his face is almost disturbing, and even though Ryan is still upset, the sight of him pleading with her is enough to make her concerned.

His hand is still grasping her elbow, and when she tears her eyes away from his face and down in the direction of his hand on her body, he gets the hint and drops it, backing away slowly. Her door is ajar and with a silent nod of approval, Harry’s following her into the flat.

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*** When It Goes From Worse to Maybe Okay

In the days that follow, Harry’s never felt so alone. It’s an odd thing to say, considering he’s spent every day with his son the same way he has for the past five years. But there’s something missing this time—something that makes him feel less than part of a whole. The loneliness is deep in his chest now, and the emptiness echoes through his body until he feels a shiver run underneath his skin until he’s nothing but hollow.

He’s never felt so cold in his life.

The hollowness grows deeper when Harry thinks about how most of this is mainly his fault. Because he has become so in tune with Ryan’s feelings in such a short amount of time, sensing her unease before she even knows she’s started fidgeting in front of him. And maybe that was his problem—he spent most of his time making sure she was okay, and in turn, forgot how to even act in front of her.

It’s not like he didn’t try to speak to her on more than one occasion. After Ryan left his flat with his tea mug, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He could barely sleep that night, going back and forth in his mind of whether or not he should just knock on her door and kiss her. And the restlessness didn’t stop—the next morning he heard a crash on the other side of his bedroom wall, and his mind started reeling, wondering if she was on the other end of the abnormally thin plaster. Was she up all night thinking of him, too?

And then when he knocked on her door and she was wearing big glasses and her hair was a messy knot bound together by a flimsy pen and she looked so cozy, he’s not quite sure why he didn’t kiss her then, either. Because he wanted to—it was all he could fucking think about. It was as if his body movements were in sync with his heart, because they moved closer towards her on their own accord without asking his brain for permission, and it was only when he could feel her short spurts of breath on his neck when he realized he could kiss her right then and there if he truly wanted to. But her brown eyes were blown out and her bottom lip was quivering and her hands were shaking, so he backed away. He figured she was uncomfortable and how could he kiss her when he was asking her to watch his kid for a few hours?

He was a blushing mess that entire afternoon. And when he finally had the entire flat to himself and grabbed his guitar, plucking strings and making melodies that faintly sounded like Ryan’s giggles, he never wrote a song faster in his entire life. Harry found himself scribbling dark eyes and olive skin and scraped knees, messy hair and big jumpers and hallways in his leather journal. And when he pieced them together and finally started singing, the song was so obviously about her that he couldn’t even believe it. Has she always subconsciously been in every lyric he’s written since he’s met her?

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about the song until he was standing right in front of her a few hours later, looking into her dark eyes underneath big lenses, her olive-skinned shoulder poking out of her oversized jumper. His heart took over again, and when they prompted his lips to blurt out an invitation for dinner, he couldn’t even be angry with his head for not kicking into gear. He had never been more nervous for a date in his entire life—was it even a date? Did he even say the word date?

His mind was in overdrive. Harry cleaned his already spotless flat twice over, and when he looked at the clock and saw that he only had thirty minutes until she was knocking on his door, he panicked and jumped into the shower. The entire time he was shampooing his knotted hair, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was panicking, too. Was she staring at herself in the mirror, deciding what shade of lipstick to wear? Did she change her outfit three times? Did she want him as badly as he wanted her?

After changing out of jeans and a corduroy pair of trousers, Harry knew he was fucked. His confidence was slipping, and he almost laughed at how much of a teenager he was being. It felt like he was fourteen again getting ready for his first date—giddy and nervous and practically shaking at the knees. Ryan felt like a lot of firsts for him, if he was being honest with himself. Did he feel like that for her, too?

God and when he saw her. Her dark hair was falling down her back and the color matched her twinkling eyes, and when he noticed the subtle shade of lipstick she was wearing, it looked as if she had just eaten a perfectly ripened raspberry that stained her pouty lips. He couldn’t stop staring at the tangled gold necklaces around her clavicle—he saw the year 1993, a Greek letter that he assumed was her astrological sign, and a pendant that looked as if it had been on her neck for her entire life. He was fascinated—completely and utterly transfixed with the girl standing in front of him in the hallway.

Kissing her seemed inevitable with the way they were dancing around each other in his kitchen, the way her bare shoulder brushed against his forearm when she leaned over him to grab the rolling pin, the way she looked at him underneath the curtain of her eyelashes when she was on all fours in Jackson’s bedroom. The way she cleaned up without hesitation, the way she seamlessly fit in his living room, the way she flirted with him to the soft sounds of Joni Mitchell playing in the background.

But then he was talking about Rachel and feeling things he hadn’t felt in a long time. Talking about his unearthed hidden emotions he kept buried for five years, and suddenly Ryan was looking at him with the saddest look on her face and he couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was fucking terrified.

Because she was there and sitting in front of him and it was everything he could have ever wanted—but then she started talking about her parents and her breathing pattern shifted in a way that made Harry nervous. And when her hands started trembling and her cheeks were painted red and she couldn’t bring herself to even look at him, he knew she was panicking, so he grabbed her hand to bring her back to him. To them. To sitting on the couch with their knees touching and being surrounded by the comfort of one another.

And he wanted to kiss her—so fucking badly that his entire body was shuddering with anticipation. But it didn’t feel right to him, not after he just unloaded his past relationship with Jackson’s mother, not when she just told him about her parent’s divorce, not when she was shaking so hard underneath his hand.

He wanted the moment to be perfect, and for the first time in days, he listened to his head instead of his heart.

But when he saw the look on her face, all downtrodden and blank eyes, he immediately regretted it. And when her hand left his and she ran out of the flat without even putting her shoes on, Harry had never been angrier with himself.

In trying to find the perfect moment, Harry let the actual one slip right through his fingers.

And he deserves it, he supposes. Harry’s always been a suffer in silence type of person, and after the way he treated her in his living room, he’s never suffered more. Because being with Ryan, even for the short amount of time he was given, made him feel alive again. She was quirky and different and somehow burrowed herself into his life without even truly knowing it, and when she left, he felt her absence everywhere.

Where Ryan was scared of the unknown, Harry was afraid of reliving it. Afraid of letting somebody into not only his own heart, but also his son’s, only to just leave in the end. He was afraid of needing somebody—because raising a child without much help forces you to become acquainted with the feeling of solitariness. Before he met Ryan, he felt as if he was swimming in an abyssal ocean, floating his way through life. But with one chance meeting, one awkward run-in in their shared hallway, it’s as if he’s come up for air—breathing in all the possibilities of what could be.

Being alone is scary, but being left is even scarier—and even though he was never in love with Rachel, Harry tried his hardest to make it work because he assumed it was what was expected of him. He never wanted his son to suffer in the end, to feel neglected, to feel not good enough.

He knows in his heart of hearts that Ryan would never treat him the way Rachel did. But for a split second, his mind went into that dark space. The space that warned him not to let his heart, or more importantly, Jackson’s, fall into the wrong hands. Because giving somebody else that power allows for the pain he shoved deep inside his chest to come back up to the surface, and he isn’t quite sure if he wants to relive it.

But the crippling feeling of regret after he saw Ryan hold back tears in the hallway was enough to make him hate himself just a little bit more.

It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Harry had been building up the courage ever since he told her he wanted to kiss her when she was in the lift to knock on her door and make it right. He wrote everything down, for fuck’s sake. An entire list of all of the things he had done wrong, of the things he wanted to do to make it better, of the ways she made his heart beat loudly inside of his chest like the bass drum to a rock song.

But then Rachel shows up at his door unannounced, giving him the worst type of news he could have ever received.

Without warning, she drops a napalm bomb on his front doorstep, informing Harry that she was offered a job position at her firm’s New York office. Before he could even hear her out, Harry instantly falls into defense mode—closing the door a few inches behind him so that Jackson remains unaware of his mother’s presence, folding his arms over his chest in a lame sort of protective armor, frowning deeply through his dried lips. Because once again, Rachel was choosing herself over her son. And once again, Harry was left to pick up the pieces.

So he tells her this.

“I can’t fucking hear this right now,” Harry whispers harshly, cutting her off just as the words temporary position falls from her lips. He didn’t even acknowledge it, didn’t even comprehend the string of sentences she was trying to explain to him.

“Harry, would you listen to me? I haven’t finished explaining. It’s only for a few—”

“—No! I don’t want to hear another excuse, Rachel! I’m the one that’s left to pick up the pieces whenever you fuck off to go do whatever it is you’re so passionate about. I’m the one that has to tell your son where his mum is. I’m the one who constantly puts Jackson first while he’s second, hell, practically fucking third on your list!” With every locution, he’s watching Rachel grow redder and redder with anger, and he knows it’s because he hasn’t let her get a word in edgewise.

But he isn’t in the mood to speak rationally. He’s had a week from hell, and just when he was about to go and make it better, Rachel had to show up and ruin it with ease.

“Don’t you fucking dare accuse me of anything without even listening to what I’m trying to say to you! God, Harry you’re so bloody thick sometimes! I’m trying to speak to you like an adult, yeah? Like the way we always said we would talk to each other when we started co-parenting!” Rachel points a long finger into his face, waving it with each stressed syllable that falls out of her rogue-painted lips.

“You have to actually be a parent in order to co-parent, Rachel,” Harry spits out, and the minute he sees Rachel’s stony expression falter, he almost takes it back.

He watches her take a deep breath, shaking the sadness from her eyes before the harsh expression replaces it. “Are you always going to make me the villain in your story, Harry? We came to the agreement two years ago that Jackson would stay with you while I finished law school. And for the past year, I’ve been doing the best I can, taking Jackson on long weekends so that you can have a break and I can spend time with him. We knew this would only be temporary until I became a practicing solicitor. This job will expedite that—I’m only needed there for six months, and then when I come back, I’ll permanently be in London. I’ll be working lesser hours, I’ll have more flexibility,” she pauses, eyes staring straight into Harry’s. “I can see Jackson for more than one weekend of every month.”

Harry’s head feels as if it’s about to explode, and suddenly he doesn’t want to be reasonable anymore. He wants to be angry. He wants to be upset. He wants to be irrational.

“Do whatever the fuck you want, Rachel. You’ve been doing it all along.” He knows he’s being unfair, because even though Rachel has always been more selfish than Harry, she’s still a good person. She still tries her best to be a good mum to Jackson even when she’s buried in mountains of paperwork. She still tries to be a good friend to Harry even after all of the shit they’ve been through.

But Harry feels angry with the world, so he decides not to remember these attributes. Instead, he makes her the antagonist in his story—because being angry at her makes him a little less angry at himself.

And when he sees messy brown waves behind Rachel’s shoulders in the hallway, it’s as if everything happens in slow motion. He watches Jackson run after Ryan, he hardly processes what Rachel says to him from his doorway, he watches Ryan comfort his wailing son with concerned eyes, and before he can even speed up time, Rachel’s yelling at Ryan, and Harry’s not sure how he hears it all over the sound of his heart dropping to the floor with a loud crash.

Ryan’s gone just as quickly as she came and Harry’s left to pick up the remnants of his and Rachel’s disaster once again—scooping up Jackson with one arm to try and quell his chest-heaving sobs, closing the door on Rachel and telling her he’ll speak to her later, falling into bed with a heavy head and an even heavier heart.

That was three days ago.

Now he sits in his dark flat, curtains completely drawn, lights still off. The wick from the sandalwood candle on the end table flickers from his position on the couch, the tiny flame creating swirling patterns along the slate grey walls, the crooning sound of Van Morrison from the record player the perfect backdrop for Harry’s dismal mood.

Gemma came to pick Jackson up for a few days after video chatting Harry and noticing the paleness of his face and the purple bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep through the grainy screen of her mobile. Her concern was evident, and after hearing Jackson mumble that daddy’s been sick for a few days (a lie both siblings chose to ignore), he didn’t even fight her when she told him Jackson was going to stay with his cousins for the weekend.

Now that the flat is empty, void of Jackson’s high-pitched laughter and tiny bare feet slapping against the hardwood flooring, the loneliness is practically unbearable to Harry. He can feel it eating away at him, and sitting on his couch listening to Astral Weeks for the third time through isn’t making him feel any better.

Harry knows he needs to do something about it—because Ryan isn’t sitting in her flat feeling sorry for him, and out of everybody who was hurt by what happened in the hallway three days ago, she deserved it the least.

Because thinking of her messy hair and big eyes, small hands swallowed by oversized knitted jumpers, pouty lips and red cheeks, small quips of smiles and dulcet giggles, secret tattoos scattered on olive skin—thinking of those things makes the heaviness in his head feel a bit lighter.

And even if he ruined any hope of them ever having something, he knows she deserves an apology. Because all of this agonizing waiting and tiptoeing around feelings is only making his head spin faster and faster like a brand new top on a granite counter, and Harry can’t bear feeling like this anymore. Not when there’s any inkling of hope left.

Harry remembers hearing the sound of Ryan’s heavy oak door close almost an hour ago, and ever since she moved in practically two months ago, he’s picked up on her habits. He knows that she delegates Friday’s as her food shopping day, and before he even realizes what he’s doing, he opens the curtains and flicks the living room light on, waiting by his front door near the peephole to try and catch brown hair whipping past.

And when he sees it almost fifteen minutes later, he has to blink to make sure he didn’t miss it. But there’s no denying Ryan’s tousled locks, and without hesitation he opens his door, meeting her in the hallway where it all began.

“Ryan,” Harry starts, watching the way she starts shifting her shopping bags into one hand so she can reach for her keys in her jacket pocket with the other, seemingly ignoring him. She’s trying to get out of this conversation with everything in her, and Harry knows this. But he needs to apologize. He needs to talk to her—even if it ends with her slamming her door in his face. “Ryan would you please—”

“—I really don’t think you have the right to ask anything of me right now, Harry.” It’s short, clipped, absolute. She still isn’t making eye contact with him, and Harry feels as if he’s going to burst. Once she allocates her keys it’s as if Harry works in fast motion, grabbing her elbow that isn’t anchored down by shopping bags, practically begging her at this point to just fucking look at him.

Luna, upon noticing a new figure entering the flat, treks over to him happily, rubbing her body against his shins and purring loudly. He crouches down and pets her quickly, watching Ryan settle her bags down on the countertop. When she spins around with her lower back resting on the counter, her arms crossed over her chest defensively, he stands up quickly and rubs at the back of his neck timidly.

“Go on, then.” Her voice has never sounded so distant, and Harry’s suddenly panicking at the thought of her wanting nothing to do with him ever again. Not even for his own selfish reasons, but for Jackson. Because he’d never forgive himself if he ruined things with his son’s new friend due to his own idiocy.

“I’m sorry. What happened in the hallway was entirely uncalled for. Rachel had no right to speak to you that way, and I should have done more than just stand there and watch it all unravel. You didn’t deserve that.” His voice is scratchy from lack of use, and he begins wringing his hands in front of his waist due to the onslaught of nerves flushing through his system. Suddenly he’s terrified of what Ryan is going to say.

“Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t deserve that.” He feels the knife lodged into his chest start to twist, a pinching gut-wrenching pain shooting through his body. He hates it.

“I know, and I’m so—”

“—You’re sorry. I know,” she cuts him off and he’s left standing there completely unsure. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to formulate something, anything, to get her to stop looking at him like that.

But before he can find the words, Ryan’s voice carries from her kitchen into Harry’s position in the middle of her living room. “Jackson didn’t deserve that either. And I’m not trying to wedge myself into your lives, because trust me, the message was received loud and clear. But you don’t get to stand there and judge me, psychoanalyze me, just to go off and talk about me to your mates or your ex-girlfriend. You don’t get to voice any other insecurity I have to the people in your life, to put into your songs or whatever the fuck you do with that information. Because you’ve lost that privilege. You’ve lost every and all privileges to get to know me.” Harry flinches, his eyes squeezing shut at the rib-racking pain that echoes through his entire body.

“You’ve lost that privilege when you told your son’s mother that I was the nanny. That I was kind to you with the ulterior motive to fuck you. And even if that were true, you have no right to tell people that. Because I’m fully aware that my social anxiety is crippling at times. I’m fully aware that I’m better off on my own because people intimidate me. I’m fully aware that I’m not the type of girl who ends up with boys like you. And that’s fine. I can live with that. But what I can’t live with is you deciding that on your own, and judging me just because you feel like you can. Because that’s cruel, Harry.”

It’s the most she’s ever said to him without stumbling over words or breaking eye contact. Ryan’s standing strong in front of him, cheeks void of a crimson blush, lips in a straight line. Her hands are still and her feet aren’t shifting and Harry’s never felt worse about himself in his entire life.

Her words crush through his body, bulldozing any inkling of self-guilt and anger. Because suddenly, he’s overwhelmed with the feeling of self-hatred. He want to scream, kick, and punch through every fucking wall because he’s made this woman feel like complete and utter nothingness, and the only person who deserves to feel like that is him.

He’s fucking heartbroken.

Before she can send him on his way for the last time, he suddenly finds the words to speak. He needs to fix this, to salvage any inkling of hope between them. Because he’s never thought of her that way, and the fact that she thinks so lowly of him because of the false things Rachel said to her when she was angry gives Harry the push he needs to tell Ryan the truth.

The whole truth.

“I had no right to make you feel like that, and I’m sorry for that. Truly fucking sorry. But I never, ever, referred to you as Jackson’s nanny. I never spoke a word about you to Rachel or to my mates. If anything, Jackson probably talked about you and Luna with her, because god knows that boy is in love with you. That was just Rachel making presumptions and taking her anger with me out on you, and I’m so sorry she made you feel like that, and I’m even sorrier for not intervening. I would never judge you for being who you are, I just—fuck.” Harry runs an exasperated hand through his messy hair before looking at Ryan, taking a deep breath and inching closer towards her.

“I panicked. Because everything was happening so quickly and for the first time since Jackson was born, I wanted to cradle you against my chest instead of him. And that’s a fucked up thing to admit, because he’s my fucking son and he was crying and he needed me, and all I could think about was how your heart was breaking and I needed to shove that feeling down before it took over. Because it fucking terrifies me.”

There’s a sudden silence between the pair, with nothing but mahogany eyes staring into emerald. Ryan’s aware that in all of her time knowing Harry, he’s never been this open and honest with her. He’s laying all of his cards out on the table, and that revelation alone is enough to make the empty hole in her chest start filling up with each subtle beat of her heart.

Harry takes a tentative step forward, and once he realizes that Ryan isn’t backing away, he takes two more so that he’s standing directly in front of her.

“I’m not used to wanting to be around somebody else besides Jackson. It’s been almost five years, just me and him, and then when you came into the picture, I suddenly wanted to be around you. Every second. Of every fucking day.” When Harry acknowledges that her eyes haven’t diverted to the ground, he can feel the hollowness in his body start to dissipate, the coldness in his veins start to thaw out with each beam of light that radiates off of the girl standing in front of him.

“It scares the shit out of me, Ryan. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before. And I know I messed it all up by not kissing you, and I know I made you feel like I didn’t want you. But I just—I’m so scared of you leaving me, of leaving Jackson. Because no matter how many times I deny it, I’m so fucking scared of being left again. I don’t know if my heart can handle that.”

Ryan nods slowly, processing Harry’s biggest fear being laid out in front of her. She starts to feel bad for him all of a sudden, because maybe she was wrong in thinking that he didn’t want her. Because even though he’s in front of her and he’s here holding his heart in his shaking hands for her to have, part of him is terrified because he can’t only think about himself, he has to think about Jackson, too.

And that’s something Ryan possibly overlooked. Because she’s never been left the way Harry has, she’s never had to put all of her love and care into another human being who looks at her as if she hung all of the stars in the sky, she’s never had to be a parent by herself.

There’s no rule book for that—no step-by-step instruction manual to describe how difficult that process truly was. And Harry did it because he had to. Because he needed to. Because he wanted to.

And when she looks at him—really looks at him, at the small wrinkles around his brilliant green eyes that she wants to smooth over with the pad of her thumb, at his curly hair that somehow is still fluffy and tempting to touch, at his dried lips that she still wants to put on her own with everything inside of her—she’s mystified at how he could possibly think that.

How could anybody ever leave him?

With a small smile that somehow makes him feel whole again, she says, “Who said I was leaving you?”

The weight that lifts from his shoulders practically makes him float through thin air. Harry takes a small step forward, testing the waters ever so slightly to make sure that she doesn’t cower away. And when she stands tall, looking at him as if she never wanted to blink again, he takes two more.

With one final step, he’s toe-to-toe with Ryan, so close that he can see the obsidian specks in her irises, the gold flecks when the light hits them just right, the gentle swoosh of her ebony lashes. He can feel her warm breath fannings against the column of his throat, and suddenly he’s reaching out, wrapping one long finger around a stray tendril of her dark hair.

“You’re wrong about not being good enough for boys like me. You’re wrong about being better off alone. Because I’ve done that, Ryan, and loneliness is shit.” His voice is low and deep, sweet like honey that seeps through her concrete walls. Ryan can feel them breaking apart inch by inch, and when he brings his other hand up to cup the underside of her jaw, she can practically hear them cracking, disintegrating beneath their feet.

“You’re so stupidly made for me, it’s fucking terrifying. And I know that I have Jackson. And I know that’s probably not in your plan. And I know this is going to sound absolutely insane,” with one last breath he leans down, the tip of his nose brushing against hers ever so softly. “But imagining another day without you is nearly impossible.”

Ryan tries her hardest not to gasp at his confession, and before she can conjure up the right words to say, Harry’s mouth is on hers.

His left hand is cupping her jaw and the right is holding the back of her head gently and suddenly Ryan can feel the empty hole in her chest come back to life—thumping so loudly against her body she’s almost certain Harry can feel it against his own.

Harry’s practically sweating at the rush of heat that swarms his insides, and when he feels Ryan reach up on the tips of her toes so that her chest is flush against his own and her arms lock around the back of his neck, he almost topples over at the feeling of it all.

It’s everything and more, and part of him can’t believe that he waited this long to finally feel it—because he could write fucking symphonies about the way her lips feel against his own, the way the little hums in the back of her throat make his spine tingle, the way her fingers weave through the hair on the base of his neck so that she can anchor herself to him completely. The way he’s never felt this way kissing somebody.

The way he never wants to let go.

But they have to at some point, and begrudgingly he lets her go, watching the way she blinks against the apples of his cheeks. The flush that he’s grown to admire is back on her face, but this time it’s from another reason completely, and Harry’s almost positive that this is his favorite version of it yet.

“Should’ve done that a week ago,” Harry mumbles against her lips.

Ryan giggles and Harry’s almost certain he’s in love. “You’ve done it now, that’s all that matters.”

And when he brings his lips back to hers and wraps his arms around her lower back, hoisting her up and spinning her around until he’s swallowing her giggles with his own mouth, he knows that she’s right.

All that matters is them. Right now. Together.

***

A/N: Hi all, that was part seven of you feel like home AKA the penultimate chapter AKA the one that hopefully makes you guys smile instead of cry. I hope it was worth the wait! This was the story I wanted to tell, and I hope this clarified the frustrations we all felt about Harry in part six, as well as our first impressions of Rachel. I never wanted to villainize her, I just wanted to explore the possibility of a mother wanting to put her career first the way so many men have done in the past. I hope I did that justice.

Thanks for all the feedback and love you guys are giving this fic, it makes writing it that much more fun. Part eight will be posted on Thursday December 17, so feel free to chat with me in the meantime and tell me your thoughts! This was a submission for the 1DFF Quarantine Challenge, which has other amazing writers participating as well, so feel free to check out the page! See you next week for the FINAL part, and stay tuned to watch me get emotional during the entire week x

taglist: @stylishmuser @vikki1220 @greatestview @verorax @cronias13 @adoremp3 @ilovegolden @taintedwonder @stepping-into-the-light @onlyphysicallypresent @dontwanttobealone @justsaying20 @elemayox @awomanindeniall @ihearthemcallingforyou @halloweenniall @live-at-the-forum @kakayam @harryinsweatersandbandanas @hopelessly-harry @ficnarry @morethanamelodyy @niallgolden @harryswinterberries @caramello-styles @harrysstyle @greatestview @solllaris @niallgolden @mellamolayla

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jjk-anime-horray · 3 years

Text

All Dead Ends

Dazai Osamu x Reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the would, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: In your search for sniper you find no living records about him, leaving you utterly frustrated, and confused. Your partner gets confused also about this investigation, but not for the same reasons.

Trigger warnings: Mentions of extreme violence, mentions of emotional distress, mentions of illegal activities, and strong language.

Previous Chapter: Chasing the Criminal

Searching through public living records was always a pain, for any case or reason, even when you have full access to all of them, and the ability filtering them. None the less it was still a pain.

But when you just spent hours upon hours of searching through the cities population records to find jack shit did it really start to get fucking annoying.

The best part about this case is that it seems that practically for all intensive purposes that the person you're looking for is literally a ghost, and by all means doesn't currently exist.

And that is how you ended up right where you were right now, face down on your desk, surrounded by miscellaneous papers and paper work, and groaning. Occasionally banging your head on the desk to try to further your thinking.

"Why am I even doing this?" You whined to yourself. But you definantly knew the answer to that question.

Well, you had two definant answers for that question. The first being that it's your job to try to apprehend the man, but the second is that you were intrigued by him and wanted to see him. Why would he waste his time exterminating criminals for moral when he could get paid to do so? Why didn't he just become a hitman with his skills?

"Let me ask you something, who is the worse person? The killer, or the killer that only kills killers?”

His words rang in you head like it was only yesterday, well actually it was only a day ago, but that's not the point. The point is that is words struck a cord with you, because you knew he was kind of right. The killer of the innocent is a thousand times work of the killer of killers, in fact, you would actually probably be thanking the killer of killers if they didn't cause so many other problems for you like public mass murder rumors that the city are shutting down, or investigations at two in the morning. Even though it's not a rumor.

You couldn't get him out of your head, and it wasn't because you were trying to find him. He asked you his question like he already knew the answer, and he was completely brutally honest while being mysterious. I was definantly not your average case. The only average thing about it was Dazai skipping out on his share of the work. Well, that wasn't true he was still cleaning up the murder with the police.

What was this guy made out of anyway? He literally demolished dozens of gunned body guards, and by the look of it wasn't even touched. That did scare you, how precise he was. That shot he took was a very skilled one even though you didn't want to admit it. He probably wouldn't have been seen at all if it wasn't your lucky positioning to see speck through the bullet hole.

The situation made you confused, what was he after? What were his motives? It's clearly not public panic because by all means he could have launched an attack of mass scale already. It's also a little bit weird how he hasn't tried to provoke the port mafia yet, which is something new groups in the city looking for power do.

Was he going on his own self righteous purging to better his ego? highly unlikely because he seemed to actually have a head on his shoulders, but the motives did seem to be some sort of grudge against anyone who associated with child trafficking. It was a completely reasonable grudge and dislike, but it's uncommon for people even to think of that. Was he trafficked when he was a kid? Maybe a friend of his was kidnapped? Either way you spin it this scenario was completely out of the ordinary, and by the tone of the mans voice you could just feel that he was by no means near stopping his rage. You where just trying to figure out what he's going to be targeting next. Or if it's worth or even possible trying to stop him by force.

He was a tad bit smug during your coversation, but the way he displayed it was like it wasn't in his nature to be, like he was trying to cover his true emotion. If he was a smug person definantly would have been bragging in his abilities, yet he never mentioned them, it was almost like he..

"Oh (Y/N), did you miss me?

You didn't even need to remove your forehead to know who was speaking it was Dazai.

"Of course not." You said, but it wasn't actually factual. "Did everything go smoothly?"

"Yes actually, but the same can't be said for you my friend, it seems that you've encountered some sort of mishap in you research." He says this as he simultaneously lifts your forehead from the table by gently lifting your face, only to pull away seconds later after you're now actually facing him. "What could that be?"

"They guy that we're looking for, practically doesn't currently exist. He has no public records with the city that we know of, he's also has no living records, and we don't even know his name."

"Well what do we know for certain?"

"What he looks like for the most part, and that his ability is something to do with movement prediction I think....but I don't know even if that's the case. He also has a moral code for himself I think, which that with in itself is unique. He hate human and child traffickers, and anyone who has anything to do with them."

"Okay. What does this mystery man look like? Ryan Gosling? Levi acker-"

"Okay that's enough listing of people that are famous. And just to start of he's way taller than the both of them, I would say he's about 6'3", he has brown reddish hair that a little messy, but short and still presentable. He also has a decently muscular build. Deep set dark brown eye, that almost seemed emotionless....The guy who who killed the watchman was also the one who caused the incident."

Dazai's cogs in his brain were starting to turn, but they were the painful ones that no one want's to listen too because they sound worse than nails on a chalk board. The cogs of a machine that no one would hopefully want to run again. Why did this man seem so familiar to him? Actually it was a painful reminder of his dead friend Odasaku, but as he said he dead it can't be him, right?

"Is there anything else that may be of interest?" He was hoping that the words from your mouth would shut down his suspicions, but unfortunately it did the opposite."

"The man had no accomplices, and it's honestly a bit unnerving how they could probably stir up this city in an instant yet they chose not to. It's weird."

Dazai thought is was weird too, but for all of the different reasons, and he couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't going to have the out come that he wanted, something that should have stayed in the ground and something that he wanted to stay buried. After that he started to walk out to try to find out what was actually going on, but this wasn't unnoticed by you.

"Hey Daz, where are you going?"

"I'm going to head out, it's late. You should head out too, and home you look tired. Call me if you need anything, I'm going to go grab a drink."

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hale-13 · 3 years

Text

Five Stages

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 22 Prompt - Grief

Peter made a promise to May that he would let her know if it got bad again. That he would never hurt himself again.

Words: 1707, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Teen+

Relationships: Peter Parker & May Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Ned Leeds

Characters: Peter Parker, May Parker, Tony Stark, Ned Leeds

TW: Depression, Self-Harm

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“I’m good Ned,” Peter promised, forcing a smile on his face that he knew was wholly unconvincing. Ned confirmed this with his frown and furrowed brow that told Peter that his best friend knew he was absolutely full of shit. It didn’t matter though – this was the hill that Peter would die on. He tried to force more life into his smile.

“Why don’t you come over tonight?” Ned asked hopefully. ‘I know you love my mom’s cooking and we still haven’t finished the Lego Star Destroyer.”

“Sorry Ned,” Peter says, already feeling guilty about the lie he was about to tell. “Movie night with May tonight.”

Ned still looked a little dubious but relaxed a bit. He doesn’t think Peter would lie to him about this. It makes Peter feel even worse – he detests lying and it feels like that’s all his life has become recently between Spider-Man and… this. Why can’t he just be honest? “Okay Peter,” Ned agreed, a little uneasy. “You can always stop by later if you want.” He offered and Peter felt his stomach twist into a knot.

“Sure man,” he said, offering his hand to initiate their handshake before departing to head home.

The apartment is dark and quiet and empty when he gets there. Peter snaps the rubber band on his wrist a few times but the sting isn’t enough. Neither is the piece of ice he takes from the freezer and holds into the delicate skin of his forearm.

The safety pin he stabs through the meat of his thumb takes enough of the edge off for Peter to get his homework done though. When May sneaks in later, tired and stumbling after her shift but still trying to not wake Peter up, he feigns sleep. How’s he supposed to tell her he hasn’t slept well in weeks? How’s he supposed to say its getting bad again?

It’s okay, he’ll figure it out. He always does.

———————————————

“How are you doing sweetie?” May asked carefully, trying to look nonchalant as she sips at her tea. It’s one of her rare days off and dark circles ring her eyes. It’s been a rough few months money wise and, even though she doesn’t talk to Peter about it, he’s seen the bills marked ‘overdue’ on the counter before she’s able to hide them.

“I’m good,” Peter said as he swirled his spoon through his bowl of disintegrating cereal. He wasn’t really that hungry but May had put the bowl in front of him before he could protest. So now he’s stuck eating it.

May gave him a look that clearly said she didn’t believe any of the shit he was spewing and reached across the table to grab his hand in hers. “You can talk to me if its getting bad again,” she said, ducking her head so that she could make eye contact with him. Peter kept his face blank. “Is it?” She asked. “Getting bad again?”

“No,” Peter said, forcing a smile onto his face and making eye contact. “I’m just tired – school’s been really busy lately, lots of projects and stuff.” Peter winced internally, that was not his best work. He really sucked at lying.

“Peter,” May admonished gently, her eyes soft and a little wet. “You know its okay to ask for help. I’m right here for you.”

“I know May,” Peter promised, a genuine soft smile taking the place of his fake one as love swelled up inside of him for his aunt. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Alright honey,” May sighed, letting go of his hand and going back to her tea. Maybe this could be a good day. Just him and May and some old movies and gossip. He had so many things to tell her about school and he really wanted to get an update on Tammy and Ryan, two of the nurses in May’s department, and their passive-aggressive fight for a promotion.

It could be a good day.

May’s phone ringing made both of them stop and glance over to where it was resting, previously innocuously, on its charger in the kitchen. Peter’s heart sank further at the frustrated look on May’s face after she answered and the apologetic way she looked at him. He still smiled and told her it was fine that she had to cover a shift last minute. He knew that she couldn’t turn down the extra money when they so desperately needed it.

Later when he used the blade of his scissors to cut open his wrist he felt even more guilty. He promised May he would never do this again. He hadn’t broken this promise since he made it just after Ben died. He made another slice.

But he just couldn’t help it – some promises were always going to be broken.

—————————————

So there was a loophole.

It had been a rough day already when Peter got stuck in a fight with Shocker. He wasn’t feeling his best that day and he really needed to release some tension. Shocker was the blockade preventing Peter from doing that so he prioritized speed over precision and, in the process, got his arm broken.

The pain was so clarifying and he reveled in it for just a moment before he hastily finished the fight and webbed Shocker up to be picked up by the police.

“You require medical attention,” Karen’s bright voice chirped at him when he landed, out of breath and pain drunk, on a nearby building.

“I don’t think its displaced,” Peter told her, rotating his wrist and hissing. Some more fog cleared from his addled and useless brain.

“Peter,” Karen admonished, sounding disapproving. “You should call Mr. Stark.”

“I’m good,” Peter said instead, squeezing his arm. “I’m great actually.”

He had promised May that he would never hurt himself again but if his enemies did it for him…

Well.

—————————————

“What the hell Peter?” Mr. Stark sounded worried and scared and Peter blinked tired eyes open. It was hard to see since the blood had dripped down into his vision – he would wipe it off but he was just too exhausted to make the effort to pull of his mask. “What happened?”

Peter let out a wet laugh that ended with a cough. His mouth tasted metallic but he wasn’t sure if that was from his bitten tongue or if he was actually coughing up blood.

Didn’t matter. He’d heal.

He felt Mr. Stark pull his mask carefully off his head, barely getting it caught on his broken nose but Peter still hissed at the bright spots of pain. Maybe he overdid it this time. “I’m good,” he slurred, listing a little to the side.

“You aren’t ‘good’,” Tony told him angrily as he pressed a wad of gauze into Peter’s bleeding side. It made his vision grey and spin. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Peter let out a humorless laugh, choking on it a little and spitting out a globule of blood onto the ground. “I was thinking this is the better option.” Tony’s eyes were like daggers as they bore into him and Peter realized in his delirium that he maybe said too much. Tony Stark was a genius after all. “Never mind,” he said hurriedly, trying but knowing there wasn’t anything he could say right then to fix the situation.

“We’ll talk about that later,” Tony assured him in a way that made Peter’s stomach sink. “You’re stable enough to fly so just don’t pass out okay?” The man asked as he stepped back into his armor and picked Peter up. Peter’s vision winked in and out from the change in altitude but he stayed awake.

He didn’t remember the flight to the Tower. He did remember being handed over to Dr. Cho and her team. He remembered the feeling of Tony’s hand in his hair and the smell of anesthesia and then…

Nothing.

———————————————

“You’re healing is pretty amazing,” Tony said and Peter groaned, squinting his eyes open against the dimmed light of his MedBay room. It was dark outside the window and, in the soft light from the lamp in the corner of the room he could see May passed out on the couch under a light blanket.

“Thanks,” Peter croaked, throat dry. Tony held a straw up to his lips and Peter sipped at the tepid water gratefully. His throat felt raw and the water was soothing.

“It’s so good in fact,” Tony continued, setting the water down on the nightstand a little forcefully and crossing his arms to stare at Peter, unwavering, “that it almost healed up your scars from before you were bitten by the spider.” His eyes were locked on Peter’s damaged forearms and the nearly invisible scars hidden there.

Peter wanted to balk at the claim, deny it, but he was tired of lying so he just shrugged instead. Tony’s eyes narrowed further before he let out a sigh and pulled up the sleeves of his sweater to show Peter his own arm where, faintly, horizontal scars shown white against his tan.

Peter’s mind ground to a halt.

“I think we’ll skip most of the sordid tales of my youth,” Tony said sardonically as he rolled his sleeve back down to cover his arm, “but I get it. I didn’t go out and get a bunch of criminal low-lives to kick the shit out of me since my dad was all to willing to offer his services but I get it.”

Peter sniffed a little and gave a tight nod. “What did you do?”

Tony snorted. “Well I was super self-destructive well in my thirties but after… after the Chitauri and the Mandarin… well I started talking to someone. It took a lot of work and it didn’t get better quick but, well it helped.” Tony reached out and gripped Peter’s hand tightly in his. “We can work on it okay? Will you let me help?”

Would he let Tony help? He glanced over at May, still sleeping on the couch. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore. He didn’t want to hurt the people closest to him. He was so tired of being tired all the time.

Would he let Tony help?

“Yes,” Peter said with finality.

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump22 #Prompt: Grief #irondad #spider man #Summer of Whump 2021

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aswallowssong · 3 years

Text

Second Child, Restless Child

Chapter 9 - The Devil Whispered Lies

@valkyrie-5583

Read on AO3

If I told y'all I got engaged and that's why this chapter is literally a billion years late, would that make it better??

Jokes aside (not really a joke, I did get engaged, I just hid it in the notes a few weeks ago) spring break is one week away for this teacher, and my goal is to write a whole bunch so I can not have to post chapters like... 2 months apart.

Let me know what you think of this one!! Have a lovely day!!

Continuation of chapter 8 - Heaven Knows How Hard I Tried. The Keystone Killer has given Kit a lot to think about; including some things she wasn't quite counting on.

Kit wasn’t quite listening when they walked back into the precinct. Her conversation with JJ earlier in the day had helped. If JJ had met pushback, but now she was allowed to be a full part of the BAU team, she should stand up for herself. The director himself saw all of her reports, she could tell Ramos she disagreed with him. Especially if, for the time being, her work was good enough for the literal director of the whole FBI.

But her talk with Hotch outside of Harbin’s house hadn’t done her a lot of good. Her mind was still reeling from the events of the last hour, she still hadn’t slept since Friday night, and it was actively Sunday.

What brought her back to reality was Morgan’s voice, deep and steady at the front of their group. It caught her up to the present so quickly she almost stopped short, which would have sent Hotch right into her.

“Well, that's got to be a first. A killer actually leading us to another killer.”

“Come on,” Gideon said from further back, “we all know they make the best profilers. They admire each other's work.”

“Ya, but usually from afar,” Elle said as they spilled into the conference room.

Kit didn’t even let herself imagine sitting down. There was no way she would be able to stay awake when she had nothing of value to add. At this point, she was waiting to get back on the jet and back to her apartment. The image of Claudia was twisting in her mind, and she couldn’t help the desperate need she had to see Monty face to face.

Hotch didn’t let her stay in her head for very long. “At least we got Harbin off the street. All right, let's review. What do we know about the Keystone Killer?”

He’s killing women at an alarming rate.

“Well, we know that he's not dead or in jail,” Elle offered.

Gideon continued. “Enjoys taunting the game.”

“Ya,” Morgan agreed easily. “He's in complete control.”

Reid was quick to add on, statistics rattling from him easier than Kit was even keeping her eyes open. “He strangled seven women in the 1980's, stopped for eighteen years, and then began again suffocating them. Ten percent of all violent crimes are caused by strangulation, it only takes eleven pounds of pressure to fully incapacitate your victim and if you hang on for at least fifty seconds, they will never recover.”

“Yeah,” Kit said, stopping short once she’d realized the words had come from her mouth, not someone else’s. Everyone’s eyes were on her, and she took a moment before she voiced the fact her brain had produced for her, however reluctantly. “It’s one of the most lethal forms of violence. Victims can be unconscious in a matter of ten seconds.”

Hotch shook his head, confusion pushing from his before he said, “When you suffocate someone you actually have less control over their death. It's actually more passive because the killer doesn't feel the life leaving the body.”

“He's changed almost everything that he does,” Elle said. She was lost, mild annoyance and confusions coming off her in waves. Elle had joined the team just as JJ did, and Kit wondered if she ever felt as completely baffled as she herself felt.

In that moment, it felt like the answer could be yes, and that was comforting.

Gideon took over then, speaking to them as a whole in a series of questions. “Why why why why? What? I mean, what's he getting out of this new M. O.? Where's his payoff? You got Carla Bromwell, she sustains a significant head injury. Blitz attacks suggest disorganization, no self-confidence. This is a guy who walks into seven victims' homes prior to this. There was no forced entry at any of the scenes. Where's the loss of confidence?”

There was a beat of silence, and she really hoped anyone had any idea. It was moments like these that made Kit feel the most out of her element. She had no idea why the Keystone Killer would want to kill anyone anyway, how could she know why he would change his methods?

“He would never change the way he kills by choice,” Ryan said, breaking the silence.

“What?”

Ryan spoke again, confident in a way the rest of the team lacked. “We've been operating under the assumption that he purposely changed his M. O.”

It was like something physically snapped into place. Kit looked around as everyone was suddenly much more engaged.

“You're saying he changed because he had to change?” Gideon asked.

“He knocked her unconscious. And it wasn't to scare.”

Elle seemed to be catching on, and Kit wished selfishly she wasn’t. “Because he couldn't control her physically while she was awake.”

Ryan nodded. “He could be incapacitated.”

Gideon latched back on. “At least partially.”

“Maybe an injury.”

“Or a stroke,” Hotch added, and Gideon started nodding. “Either way you're gonna have to have medical records. Agreed?”

It took her more than a few seconds to notice that no one had said anything else, and she looked over at Gideon, who was looking directly at her.

Why is he looking at me? He never looks at me? We have a spoken rule to not look at one another during cases so why is he looking right at me?

“Colghain?” he said, and she shook her head. He most certainly was looking at her for an answer, and everyone else had gone quiet so she could answer.

“Yeah.” She said, and she saw Ryan raise an eyebrow in annoyance before she stumbled over herself to continue her answer. “Yeah, yes, sorry. Yes. There would be injury reports, charts, notes, scripts. It’s a lot of records, depending on who your doctor is and what hospital you’re at.”

There was another pause before they were all nodding, taking in what she’d said and running with it.

Morgan was first to speak. “Okay, so what are we talking about? This had to have happened after the middle of 1988 in Philadelphia?”

Gideon nodded, first at Kit, and then to Morgan. “Somebody who fits the rest of the profile.”

“It's a lot of hospital records,” Reid said, also looking towards Kit, who nodded her affirmation. “There’s hoards of people going into ERs every day for exactly those sorts of things. It’ll be a huge pool.”

He smiled at her, and she found herself taken a bit aback, but returned his grin with a shy one of her own.

“Call our girl Friday,” Gideon said, directed to Morgan, and as the flurry of movement and new hope danced through the room, she found herself feeling much less tired than she did before.

She’d been helpful. Gideon had known she was an expert about something and asked for her agreement and input before simply inserting a thought.

Her feelings were incredibly jumbled as she stood there, waiting for directions. Gideon’s affirmation made her feel better than she thought it would, considering they didn’t usually talk if not to argue. JJ’s conversation still lingered in the back of her mind, and she wanted to talk to Ramos. If JJ could stand up to the coms department and get what she wanted, why couldn’t she stand up to Ramos?

But Claudia filled the leftover space in her consciousness, and she didn’t know if she could fight for more time with the BAU, or to try to be more fully integrated, or whatever it was that she actually wanted if the cases were going to stay with her.

To scare her. To make her feel like she needed to know that her sisters were alright, even though there was no way to do that while knees deep in a case.

What do you even want, Kody? What do you want?

She didn’t have an answer for herself.

-----

Kit stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of the precinct and splashed another cupful of water onto her face, holding her cheeks in her hands a moment before looking up at her reflection.

You look exhausted.

Monty’s voice, as always, chided her. Sometimes she wished the voice of her overinvolved consciousness was her brother Al instead. Alaska couldn’t be bothered over things like that. His biggest qualm in life was the fact that his name was Alaska, and it had been quickly remedied by Ari telling him he could just go by Alex at school.

You’ve got bigger problems than that. You’re having a moment in a police precinct in Philly while the rest of your team waits on a comprehensive file to be faxed.

A feeling of dread shot through her chest at the realization that Monty didn’t even know she was gone. She’d been so tired and so incredibly thrown by Garcia’s text, and then Hotch’s insistence that she was on the jet that she hadn’t thought to walk down and tell Ari she was leaving. He’d been on the clinic floor; out of sight, out of mind. Then she was on the jet, and then at the crime scene.

She hadn’t even sent a text.

Hell, she hadn’t even really slept since then. Her time in the jet and her few minutes in the car were nowhere near what she needed, and with all the feelings and thoughts she had flying around her head, she was surprised she hadn’t crashed. She was definitely feeling “Big Feelings,” and she didn’t have time for it.

Ari and Monty always helped the big feelings. They had to be wondering where she was. Why hadn’t they called her? Or texted? They had to be worried. Girls didn’t just go missing in the middle of the day.

But they do. And worse, they’re murdered too. Right out of nowhere for no reason at all. People are sick, Kody. They kill for pleasure. They kidnap for pleasure. They’ll take anyone at any time.

She had her phone out and dialed in record time.

“Penelope’s hotline for all things truth. Speak and know.”

“Garcia.” She swiped at her eyes. When had she started crying? “I need a favor.”

“Oh, Kit, hey.” Her voice was as sunny as always. “I’ve got that file almost through, the medical was-”

“It’s not about the case.”

There was silence on the other line for a moment. “Oh?”

“If I gave you the first and last name, could you trace a cell phone?”

“A cell phone? As long as it’s registered to the same name, yeah, I can. Why?”

“Virginia.” She said. “Virginia Colghain.”

She didn’t know why she picked Ginny. Something inside her said that Seese, George, and Lina would be at home with their mam. Ginny lived in the city, and Kit couldn’t call her.

Ginny didn’t know she was in the field. Ginny didn’t even know she’d been paired with the BAU.

“Where should it be? Just so I know what I’m looking for.”

“Probably the US Attorney's office.”

“Which branch?”

“The one in the district. On fourth street.”

Garcia hummed as she typed, the clicking of her keystrokes halting as she said, “Wait. Wait, Colghain?”

Kit bit her lip. She was sort of hoping Garcia wouldn’t notice.

Which is stupid, because of course she’d notice.

“Yes.”

“Virginia Colghain?”

“Yes, Garcia, can you track it or not?” Kit glanced at herself in the mirror, letting her reflection ground her. She tugged at one braid, and then the other with her free hand before wiping at her eyes again.

The clicking started again before Garcia said, “Virginia Colghain’s phone is, in fact, inside the US Attorney’s office on fourth street.”

Kit breathed a sigh of relief. While it wasn’t proof that Ginny was okay, it certainly helped Kit’s nerves. “Thanks, Penelope. Sorry about that.”

“Sure, my sweet clover. But, why don’t you just call her and ask where she is? I’m going to assume that’s one of your many many siblings.”

Because I haven’t quite told her I’m working with the BAU now, or going in the field again, and I’m not ready to have that conversation with her just yet, considering no one knows but Ari and Monty.

“I don’t want to interrupt her at work, I just needed to know she was okay.”

Garcia was quiet again before saying, “You know, we’ll get him. My system has faxed almost all the papers now, and then you can go bring him in.”

Kit took a breath, glancing again at the reflection in the mirror. She almost didn’t recognize the face staring back at her. Had she always looked so sad?

“Thanks, Pen,” she said quietly. “I, um. I’ve gotta go.”

“Go fight crime, clover. But, hey,” Penelope’s voice took on a different quality. A serious one. “You and I should talk when you get back.”

She sighed, but nodded. “Okay… bye, Penelope.”

Kit hung up the phone.

Ginny was fine. She knew that it was a given, and she probably just looked like a crazy, paranoid moron, but she also knew deep down that Penelope didn’t care. Maybe she understood.

Before she could convince herself otherwise she hit the first position speed dial, pacing a bit in front of the sinks as it rang.

“Dia dhuit?” Came Monty’s groggy, listless voice over the line, and Kit nearly burst into tears at the combination of her sister’s voice, her real voice, and their mother tongue.

“Monty.”

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are you? Thought you were in the living room, but I only hear you on the phone.”

Kit wiped at a stray tear trailing down her cheek. There was no way she was keeping it together when she finally got home.

Monty’s accented Irish was thicker than it normally was. Her voice was lower too, telling of the fact that she quite possibly woke her twin up. She bit back a bit of guilt, her own voice launching into a language just for them.

“I’m sorry, I woke you, didn't I?”

“It’s alright, I’ll go back when we’re done. Where are you?”

“Are you feeling any better?” She was stalling. “When was the last time you took-”

“Dakota.” Kit stopped in her tracks. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything is fine.”

“But why are you crying?”

Damn it.

She tried to keep any tremor out of her voice, but she knew Monty would always be able to tell. “I’m not.”

“Why are you calling me, crying-”

Kit sighed, her pacing stopping dead in its tracks as she tried to keep herself together. “Everything is okay. I’m not hurt. I’m fine. Everyone is fine. I needed to hear your voice.”

The coughing across the line was grating, and then, “Kody, where are you? What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“I…” Kit started, steadying herself with a hand on the counter. “We’re in Pennsylvania.”

“You’re what?”

“It’s fine, I had to leave overnight. We’re on a case.”

“You didn’t call,” Monty said, obviously upset. “You didn’t even send a text. Ari was at the bureau last night, too, why-” She cut herself off to cough, the line being muffled as Monty pulled away from the speaker.

Kit ran her hand down her face. This wasn’t the conversation she needed to be having. She should have called Ari. He tended to be a little more level headed when he was upset.

“Why wouldn’t you say anything?” Monty finally asked, voice much rougher than before. “What if something happened?”

“Nothing is going to happen,” Kit said, her voice more steady than she felt it should be. “I’m sorry, Mont. I’m so sorry. I know I should have told you.”

“Why…” Monty trailed for a moment before she said quietly, “Why did you call now?”

Claudia’s face flashed to the front of her mind, and then Monty’s; the reflection of her own staring back at her in the mirror.

“I needed to hear your voice. I had to know you were alright.”

Another moment of silence passed before Monty asked, “Something happened, didn’t it?”

Kit sighed, sniffling quietly before letting out another, deeper sigh. “I don’t know if I can do this, Mont.”

The door to the bathroom swung open, JJ standing on the other side.

“Hey, the whole file finally came through, we’re meeting in the- are you crying?”

Kit’s head whipped around to look at JJ square, and she hastily wiped under her eyes. “No, I, um. I’ll be right there.”

JJ tilted her head, but nodded and shut the door again. The air between the twins crackled quietly before Kit cleared her throat.

“I have to go. I… hopefully I’ll be home tonight. I’m sorry, Montana. I am.”

“Kody, wait-”

“I love you, Mont, I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t just say those things and then go put yourself in danger! You can’t do that to me! I-”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I-” The door to the bathroom was pounded on. “Lep! Let’s go!”

Derek.

“Dakota!”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

Before Monty could say anything else, Kit snapped her phone shut.

------

Her leg bounced as she sat in the SUV in between Reid and Elle. She was twisting at the hem of her shirt, and some of the threads had ripped and stretched. It was keeping her from pulling on her hair though, so she didn’t care about that. Ginny could sew it for her when they got back to DC.

If Ginny’s still there. Anyone could grab her at any time. Anyone could-

“Are you okay?” Reid asked quietly, his eyes locked on her fingers as they tugged at the material.

She stilled her hands immediately, feeling the concern dripping from his tone.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just… tired.”

“You could probably sit out if you need to,” he said, not noticing the way her face had started to heat up. Everyone in the SUV was actively pretending they couldn’t hear their conversation, but Kit knew better.

“I don’t need to,” she said quickly. “I just want to get home, so the faster we cuff this creep, the better."

"Because of your sister?"

"What?"

How could he have possibly known what you were thinking about Ginny? Did you say something? Did-

"Your sister's sick, right?"

She stared at him for a moment before it clicked. He wasn't talking about Ginny. Of course he wasn't, the only one that knew about her minor meltdown was Garcia. Monty being sick was common knowledge.

"Oh," she said. "Yeah. And because he's, you know." She gestured vaguely. "Murdering women."

Elle laughed quietly next to her, nodding as she said, “Right, there’s that. We’ll get him. Right, Gideon?”

“Oh, we’ll get him,” Gideon said, sending more anticipatory energy into the world than usual. Kit didn’t have to think about the implications of that, though, as the SUV came to a halt outside a two story home.

They got out of the van quickly, all thoughts of Monty and going home gone as they strapped into Kevlar vests and double checked their weapons.

“I believe Walter Kern is in Sylvia Gooden's home now,” Gideon said, addressing the five of them and the SWAT captain. “Hotch confirmed he left the community center hours ago, and Kern's car's parked on the next block.”

“I want Walter Kern alive,” Ryan said quickly, and the SWAT captain nodded at his request. “I'll stand by for the word.”

“Reid, Greenaway, I'll call you when we've secured Kern. Morgan, Colghain, you’re with me and Ryan. Okay, let's move out.”

“Yeah,” Elle said, watching them as they walked away, Kit trailing just behind.

It didn’t feel right to her that she was going and Elle was staying back, but that was one of the reasons she was even on the team.

Or, working with them, at least. There’d been too many conversations surrounding that topic for her to understand her feelings about it.

They crept towards the house, pausing as the SWAT team pried the door open. Gideon led and Kit held the rear, covering and watching to make sure that nothing happened to them. Team or not, they were her responsibility.

They weren’t in the house for very long before they could hear Gooden crying for help on the second floor. Every movement they made was succinct, and within seconds they were in the room.

“Don't move! Don't move!” Gideon yelled, all weapons drawn at Kern as he tried to hold a plastic bag over Gooden’s face.

They scuffled for a moment, Morgan able to knock Kern’s gun out of the way before holding his arms behind his back. “Down on your knees! Down! Don't move!”

Kit held her gun steady, shifting into a position that allowed her to still have a sightline on Kern; at least until he was cuffed. Not that she believed he could get out of Morgan’s hold.

Gideon spoke quickly into the com, letting Reid and Elle know that Gooden was alive, and Kern was secure.

Morgan struggled a bit to keep Kern’s hands together, and Kit didn’t change her aim. “Cuff him, Morgan.”

“Gideon, I need your cuffs, man,” he said over his shoulder.

Gideon didn’t move right away, but Kit didn’t take her eyes off Kern. She couldn’t until she knew he didn’t have any chance of getting away.

“Why don't you do this? I'll take care of her.” Gideon had spoken to Ryan, who had clearly been soothing Gooden until that moment.

"That's enough. Now get up,” Morgan said, passing him off so Ryan could cuff him. “You got him?”

“Ya, I got him,” Ryan said, and Kit lowered her weapon as she heard the click of the cuffs secure around Kern’s wrists.

“Colghain,” Gideon said, “Some help, please.”

Kit turned quickly, realizing that Sylvia Gooden, who had just been nearly suffocated, was still crying and panicking with flex cuffs around her wrists.

She wasn’t done yet.

The two steps to the bed were swift, and Gideon stepped aside as she spoke to the traumatized woman. “Hi, my name is Kit. I’m a nurse, and I’m going to check and make sure you’re okay. Is it alright if I touch you?”

Gooden looked up at her for a moment before she nodded stiffly, taking a deep breath before dissolving into hysterics.

Kit grabbed her hands and squeezed gently, giving the older woman a small smile despite all the crazy going on around them.

“You’re going to be okay,” she said. “I promise. It’s all going to be okay.”

-----

Kit sat next to Reid on the jet, which was odd, because she normally tried to keep herself as far away from everyone as possible. She’d gotten a very strange read off of Hotch, though, who had secluded himself in the corner she usually would have taken, so she figured the conversation would keep her awake if anything else.

It didn’t stop her from propping a blue notebook open in her lap and tapping at it quietly with her pen. They were laughing at a story Ryan was telling about Gideon that made him seem almost human, and the laughter she shared was genuine. Gideon had stepped aside for her to take the lead with Gooden, which meant he was going to be true to his word when they were in the field. Stay out of each other’s way, and things will be fine.

She just hoped it would last.

“What goes in that notebook?”

She looked up at Reid’s voice, noticing that while she’d allowed herself to be in her own head for fifteen seconds, everyone had splintered into their own conversations. Elle had even walked away from them, and was now engaged in a quiet conversation with Hotch.

“Hm?”

He nodded down at the blue notebook in her lap. “What goes in there? I’ve only ever seen the red one, and that’s where you write all of our medical information, and things that happen to us medically during cases. Like when I was sick in New Jersey. But that didn’t happen this time, nothing did, and that notebook is blue, and it’s much more worn, and -” He stopped short, frowning. “I’m rambling.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, it’s alright. I don’t mind. I was waiting for you to be done before I answered your question.”

Reid’s eyes widened a bit, his jaw dropping for just a moment before he seemed to right himself. “Most people don’t wait until I’m done.”

“It’s a skill I picked up in college. It’s hard to help someone if you won’t listen to their entire story.”

“Huh,” he said. He seemed to think on that for a moment before he said, “So, what’s it for?”

She blinked up at him. “Oh.”

She hadn’t thought she’d actually have to answer. She was sort of hoping that he would talk himself in circles until he was on another topic completely. He’d done it a few times over the short time she’d known him.

“Oh?”

“Well, it’s sort of personal,” she settled on.

“Like a journal? A diary?”

If he noticed she was blushing, he didn’t let on. “A little bit, it’s like-” She stopped short as she saw JJ move from her seat towards the coffee machine, and her brain flipped a completely different switch. “Sorry, I need to talk to JJ,” she said, and before he could protest, she’d dropped the notebook on her seat and was across the short length of the plane.

“Hey, JJ,” she said, causing the blonde to turn around and smile.

“Hey, coffee?”

“No, actually I-” She hadn’t quite thought the rest out. “I um.”

She found her hands grabbing for the ends of her hair, but she stopped herself before she could start tugging. She was far too late on her meds, which were officially out of whack, considering the fact that she hadn’t slept in two days. She wasn’t even sure what day it was.

“Is today Sunday?” She said, which was not at all how she’d intended to start the conversation she wanted to have.

JJ laughed. “I have no idea. Maybe? When we left it was the middle of the night, so I would need to check my phone.”

“Right,” Kit said, easing a bit and giving a quiet laugh of her own. “I um. Well, I wanted to tell you that I thought about what you said.”

JJ tilted her head, eyebrows pulling together. “What I said?”

“What you said about pushing back.”

“Ah,” JJ said, eyes flashing with recognition. “And?”

“I… Claudia really threw me.”

Her head tilted before she said, “The woman they found under the bed?”

Kit shivered. “Yeah.” She didn’t regard the moment with fondness.

JJ didn’t seem to notice. She thought for a moment before shrugging. “I heard Morgan telling Gideon that you were incredible with her. That you didn’t leave when EMS got there because she didn’t want you to.”

Kit shook her head quickly, deflecting the praise. “I didn’t really do anything. She just… I don’t think she wanted all those men around her without another woman around.”

“And you were that woman for her.”

Kit stopped for a moment, watching JJ’s eyes soften. She was going to deflect again - insist that she’d done exactly what anyone else would have done, but something stopped her.

“I want to be here,” she heard herself saying. She hadn’t had time to process it herself, but it seemed she was going to do it outloud, in real time. “I want to be a part of this, but I’m scared. Because there will be more Claudias. And more Sylvias… And more Kerns.” She moved a hand to play with the seam at the hip of her slacks. “And we won’t always get there in time. I won’t always get there in time.”

The two women stood in silence for a moment before JJ reached out and took Kit’s right hand off her braid, squeezing it gently between her own fingers.

“But we’ll always try. And sometimes?” She shrugged. “We win.”

Kit took a deep breath, allowing that thought to fill her senses. Sylvia Gooden was alive. Claudia was alive. Kern lost.

“I think you should talk to Hotch when we get back. Not now. You look exhausted.”

They both laughed, Kit’s a little lackluster. “It’s that obvious?”

“You’ve got two black eyes.”

“Damn.” Kit shook her head, averting her eyes from JJ’s before saying, “Thank you. For listening and telling me what you knew and for making me feel like I deserve to be here.”

JJ nodded, saying simply, “You do.” She gestured to the coffee machine again. “You sure you don’t want some?”

Kit laughed, shaking her head again. “No, really, I shouldn’t. My body doesn’t know what time it is already, I think that would put me in dangerous territory.”

She stood on the Red Line platform, struggling to keep her eyes open. She pinched the skin between her thumb and forefinger, trying anything subtle to get her from point A to point B as quickly as possible. It was already dark, and she didn’t need to fall asleep on the train, or worse, while standing and waiting for the train.

That would really cap this weekend. Falling asleep on the train, missing your stop, getting abducted…

“Do you have a headache?”

“Ah!” She jumped, turning over her shoulder and swearing loudly. “Reid, what the hell?”

“Sorry!” He said, ducking just a bit, as if he was worried she was going to strike him. “That pressure point is effective in relieving headaches, grounding panic attacks, and quelling nausea. Are you sick?”

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “No, that’s not- I know exactly what this pressure point is used for Spencer, what the hell are you doing here? At my train stop? Again? I told you that I don’t-”

“I wanted to make sure you got home safely,” he said quickly, cutting her off before she could really get going. The anxious sincerity flooding off of him stopped her long enough for him to continue. “The odds of being accosted on the Red Line are significantly lower than the Blue, but you’re exhausted, and this case made you nervous, so I just wanted to be sure you…” He slowed, a dark flush rising in his cheeks. “Got home safe. Which I’m sure you can on your own, because your field scores dwarf mine. I, um…”

He had stuttered to a halt.

He’s embarrassed. And he wanted to help you.

She didn’t have time or energy to process the fact that he’d most definitely profiled her. The sentiment was sort of touching.

Sort of, as far as Spencer Reid was concerned.

“This… isn’t a Gideon thing?”

Reid chuckled quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “No. It’s, ah, a me thing. Gideon offered me a ride home, but I said no.”

She tilted her head at him, frowning as the train squealed into the station. “No shit?”

He laughed again, shaking his head and offering a small smile, his cheeks still flushed, but relief in his eyes. “No shit.”

“...Fine. But only because I’m really tired… You know, you could have said all this, or offered, in the bullpen, right? You didn’t have to follow me to the train like a stalker.”

The blush flooded his cheeks again, and he shrugged, unable to meet her eyes. “I didn’t want you to yell at me or something in front of everyone else.”

Her heart sank.

Look what you’ve done, Kody. You made him anxious to be alone with you because he thinks you’re some crazy person that’s going to fly off the handle.

Well, aren’t you?

“I wouldn’t do that, Spencer,” She said, starting towards the train door. “I appreciate the concern… thanks.”

He looked up, eyes flashing a combination of relief and hesitance. “Oh. Yeah. Ah, yeah, sure.”

They sat down inside the train, Kit immediately leaning her head against the window. She sighed, closing her eyes.

Maybe Reid isn’t so bad. Maybe he’ll stay quiet, or read the whole way and you can actually get a short-

“You know, there’s a staggering amount of germs on the window on a DC train. Approximately 45% of people…”

-----

Spencer stalked away from her door, his long legs making him look somewhat like a baby giraffe as he turned to descend the stairs. He gave a last, incredibly awkward wave.

“See you tomorrow, Dakota,” he said.

She fought back the instinct to groan. “Bye Reid, thanks.”

He grinned as his head slipped below her sight line and she let out a sigh, her entire body seeming to settle into exhaustion. It was late, and dark, and hopefully she would be able to slip into the apartment and deal with her siblings in the morning before she left for work. She’d talk to Monty then, and Ari at the clinic, and everything would be fine.

She’d need to call Ginny, but she could do that in the morning as well. She needed to sleep first. Sleep, and then deal with whatever came.

Her hand fumbled a bit with the key as she tried to fit it correctly into the door, eyes dry and tired and brain scrambled. The residual jittery, anxious feeling of both the case and messing the the time on her medication wasn’t helping her fine motor skills, and she’d nearly resigned to search through her backpack for the flashlight she kept when the doorknob was ripped away from her hand, the door flying open.

Something hard slammed into her body, arms wrapping around her in a vice grip and knocking the wind out of her.

Instead of words, there were hitching sobs from her attacker. Congested sounding, sad, and overly frustrated, matched with hot tears that were falling onto her shoulder. She took a breath, wrapping her arms around Monty and holding her as close as she could.

“Shh, it’s okay, dair, I’m okay,” she mumbled quietly, feeling her twin’s arms tighten around her.

“Don't… ever do that,” Monty managed, voice gravely and tearful. “Never, ever.”

“Oi, Mont, what-” Ari turned the corner, making eye contact with Kit over their sister’s shoulder. She watched physical tension release in his shoulders. “Ah. Okay. Mont, deirfiúr, come in and close the door. She’s okay. We’re fine.”

The mixing of languages wrapped around Kit, filling her like a breath she hadn’t taken in days. Monty let go, rubbing furiously at her streaming eyes as she walked back through the door, settling down on their couch and curling herself into a ball.

Ari pulled Kit through the door, looking at Monty and shaking his head. There was no need for the mix now, they could speak as they did among themselves. “Ah, no, get up. Come on. She’s tired, you’re sick. Bed. Now.”

Kit didn’t know how it happened, but they all ended up in Ari’s bed. Granted, it was the biggest. He didn’t share a room, and he was significantly taller than both she and Monty had ever hoped to be. They’d slept all together as children often, and when they were first living in the district on the floor at Ginny’s, they ended up in some sort of pile of limbs the nights they all worked the same shifts.

Now they rarely did. Six months before when they were back at home after Al needed to get his appendix out. A year before that when their Grandad had died. Before that? She wasn’t sure she remembered.

Monty’s head rested on her chest, quiet congested snoring coming from her in even breaths. Her face was flushed; from fever or crying, Kit wasn’t sure.

She’d been nearly pulled into Ari’s lap, and now her head rested on his stomach, rising and falling just slightly as he slept.

Regardless of how incredibly exhausted she was, she forced herself to stay awake and listen. To feel them breathing. To be sure they were there, and alive.

JJ’s words played in her head.

You do.

She deserved to be with the BAU. She deserved to be there.

Her senses focused back in on her cúpla, and the stress she’d caused them. The fear. The anxiety.

But do you really want to be?

-----

It's me again!

The plan right now is to make each season (year?) a different story, with a different song as the title and lyrics for the chapters. I'm a music person, this is the only way I operate.

If you've heard a song that made you feel feelings, hit me with it!

#Brenna writes things #or at least she tries #Second Child Restless Child #SCRC #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #Gaelic/Irish #OC #female oc #it happened y'all I'm posting again #let's hope it sticks

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myhauntedsalem · 3 years

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Terrified parents share creepy things their kids say

1. My daughter said that there was a man hanging from our washing line, and when we went to look she said ‘It’s okay, he’s buried in the ground now’ she was about two and a half’.

2. Me: ‘Who’s the night night man?’ Her: ‘The night night man lives in our kitchen’.

3. “I work in childcare. A child once woke up from a nap, looked me dead in the eyes and quite plainly said ‘Everybody hates you.’”

4. “My friend used to volunteer at her mum’s primary school (ages 5 or 6 I think) and one time a little girl tripped on the playground. My friend took her inside and gave her a plaster for her knee and said kindly ‘Because you’ve been so brave, you can have your snack early. What would you like?’ The kid stops crying immediately, looks her dead in the eye and says ‘a rotten apple.’”

5. “I had a 4-year-old that I had never met run up to me very excited and say ‘I remember you from when I was big!’ I don’t believe in anything like that, but this kid was very sincere and refused to leave my side the entire visit.”

6. “My son once said to me. ‘I’m going to marry mommy when you die’. I said ‘alright, good night its bedtime’. He said ‘no Daddy, not good night, good bye‘. I slept with the door locked and one eye open that night.”

7. “Not to me but to my mother. I had a little brother who was blind by age 3 and had a brain tumor. My mother was feeding him oatmeal in the morning. He stopped and said ‘Aunt Mariam is here’ and pointed toward my mother’s bedroom. ‘She’s here for me.’ My brother never met Aunt Mariam, she passed away the year he was born. He asked to be laid on my mom’s bed and closed his eyes and passed away.”

8, “I lost my mom to a rare cancer when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter.. (she is now almost 4). Last week while making breakfast she was just babbling about nothing and randomly said ‘your mom doesn’t scare me’ and then just kept talking about her ponies and what have you. It REALLY caught me off guard.”

9. “My cousin who was about four or five at the time looked at me dead in the eyes and said ‘I’m a baby just like Satan was!’ “

10.“I was dressing my then 3yr old in his bedroom when he turned to me and said ‘mummy can you close the curtains, the little boy and girl are scaring me’ I asked ‘what little boy and girl?’ ‘The ones outside my window that watch us’. Safe to say the curtains stayed closed.”

11. “When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!'”

12. “When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend stuff. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’

13. “My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and 9 kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

14. My brother had an invisible friend named Tony Rygel. He was 6 inches tall and was elderly. One day we found my brother crying in his room. Apparently Tony Rygel had passed away in his sleep. We buried him in a shoe box in the backyard. So basically we had a funeral, complete with a moment of silence, for an empty shoebox.

15. “I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six year old. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door wider, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. Creepiest thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ i asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘leave us. it is the punishment.’

#Terrified parents share creepy things their kids say #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits

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harrysgloves · 4 years

Text

Let Your Hair Down (chapter xxii)

Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!

word count: 2,169

story summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

chapter summary: You go home.

warnings: Language

a/n: Missing the good times already :( xx

>>><<<

It had been 3 days since you got back from California and 3 days since Harry's little post orgasm confession.

You weren't exactly sure how but things had managed to go back to somewhat normal. Minus the fact you refused to talk about what he had said to you. Your mind flashing back to you in your knees on the floor looking up at the panic ridden Harry. Anxiety filling your chest at the thought of saying it back to him. Not fully ready yet to admit it out loud when you had just finally started to admit it to yourself.

"I didn't mean to tell y'like that." He said backing away from you, hands running through his hair.

And what did you do? You did what you do best. Got up and ran for the bathroom like an idiot. Standing in front of the mirror taking deep breaths. You just weren't ready to say it back, not yet. Not with all the shit going on in your life.

Luckily, Harry understood your tendency to not talk about your feelings or anything remotely important and didn't push the subject. He simply laid out one of his shirts on the bed for you to sleep in and let you calm down a bit by yourself before coming into the bedroom again.

He crawled into bed carefully like he wasn't trying to wake you, even though you weren't even close to being asleep. His arm thrown around you bringing him into his chest. Facing away from him you sighed, fingers trailing patterns across his hand that was over top of you.

"'M sorry." He said from behind you, his nose nuzzled into your hair, making you smile slightly but faltering at his words.

"Don't be sorry for how you feel." You didn't want him to feel bad for admitting his feelings. A part of you was so happy he felt the same way, giddy to be loved back by him. The other part was completely terrified.

"'M not sorry 'bout that. Sorry y'can't say it back to me yet. Know y'wanna, ya jus' too scared but 'm 'ere when y'ready." His grip around you tightened bringing you in even closer to him. Your heart swelling at the fact he genuinely understood you. You had to try with everything in you to not start crying like a baby.

But that was 3 days ago and the end of that conversation completely. He hadn't brought it up one single time since then. He woke up the next morning like nothing had happened and you did the same, pushing it to the furthest part of your mind, only thinking about it late at night when you were alone in bed.

How did he know you loved him?

How long will he actually wait for you to be ready?

Does he really love you or was it just something he said in the moment but couldn't take it back so he went with it?

Your mind running with endless questions while you stared night after night at your ceiling. Praying to anything that would listen to you to give you some sort of courage to ask him all these questions but it never happened.

Every time you saw him after that you both didn't bring it up. It didn't make things weird between you two but there was always a part of your brain nagging at you to open up and talk to him about it. To grab a hold of him tightly before he slipped through your fingers.

It was Thursday morning and as you, Thea, and Harry walked to her school your mind ran with all the things you wanted to say. Every time you glimpsed over to him holding Thea on his hip, big smile across their faces as she talked about what she wanted to do for her birthday party, it made your heart melt.

You loved him and you didn't understand why you were so scared to tell him. It was only three words but you knew they had the power to change everything in your life.

Once you both kissed and gave Thea a hug she was off to school. Waving goodbye to you and Harry before walking in the door. Harry throwing his arm around your shoulder as you took off for the store, needing to buy a few things for Thea's birthday without her seeing it.

"You know I care about you right?" You asked, finally speaking up about something on your mind. You needed him to know you cared. That you felt the same just unable to say it.

He smiled down at you, that big dimple smile that made you swoon. He pulled you into him, your head on his chest as you walked down the street together.

"I know. Been thinkin' 'bout what I said fo' 3 days, love?" You could hear the smile in his voice, rolling your eyes and shaking your head at him. This asshole knew you had been having a war inside your mind for 3 days, he didn't need you to say it.

"You know, I try to be nice and you do this." Your arm wrapping around his back as he laughed that laugh from deep in his chest, gripping tighter on your shoulder.

"I jus' like givin' ya shit."

You hummed unamused by his teasing but glad he wasn't holding your inability to communicate your feelings against you. Your worries starting to leave your mind as you walked into the store, making Harry hold the basket as you walked around throwing any party decorations you saw at him to carry.

"Love, she doesn't care 'bout the decorations." He rolled his lips when you shot him a look. Trying his hardest to not smile and make you angry at him.

"Yeah but I care. She only turns 5 once." You pouted, your little baby growing up so fast. You felt like it was just the other day you were in labor for 18 hours feeling like she was actually trying to murder you.

"I know, she's gettin' so big." He started to put back all the duplicates of stuff you were throwing in the basket when you weren't paying attention. Knowing there was no reason for you to be buying 85 party hats.

"Should have been around when she was a baby. She was always so happy, big smiles, laughing all the time. Lot like she is now I guess but so tiny and cuddly. I kinda miss it." You sighed making your way to the candy aisle to get things for thank you bags.

"Y'ever want another one?" You could feel his eyes burning into your back but when you turned around to look at him his eyes darted away from yours.

"Don't know, maybe. I think Thea would like being a big sister." You threw some Hershey kisses in the basket, turning back around to walk down the next aisle. Harry contemplating what you said behind you. You could practically feel his brain on overdrive.

"You want one?" You asked, hoping to calm down his overactive mind.

"Yeh." He said a little too quickly, making you smile widely when he coughed awkwardly, clearing his throat. "I mean, uh, yeh, y'know maybe... if the time's right."

"Mhm." You hummed out. He was just so cute, especially when he was all nervous.

"Oh, look, some cheap wine we can buy this and y'can try and tempt me into bed again." He smiled walking up behind you with the bottle of wine in his hands. Wrapping his arms around you completely as your face heated in embarrassment.

"Shut it, Harold." You turned on the spot, still in his arms, smiling up to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You know, one of these days someone's going to hear you talking like that and it's gonna be trending on twitter or some shit." You rolled your eyes when he laughed but you were being completely serious, the last thing you needed right now was your entire office talking about your sex life… more than they already did.

"Wat's wrong, love? Thought you liked being dirty with me?" He mused, touching the tip of his nose to yours.

"Well, we could get drunk and have a repeat of last time. Got any more confessions about me that you need to get off your chest?" You raised your eyebrows at him, smug smile across your face.

"A few." He said, leaning down and kissing you. His lips twitching upwards the second you kissed him back. You felt like everything between you two was going to be completely fine. You'd get there eventually with your inability to admit to be open with him it would just take a while.

Just as you were about to pull back from the kiss the sound of a familiar voice saying your name interrupted you. Your eyes shooting open, body tensing the second you felt Harry pull back and glare at where the voice was coming from.

You didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Heart sinking in your chest as you swallowed thickly.

"Well, just like you to makeout with someone in the middle of a store." He scoffed, making you bite your tongue. Reminding yourself you'd just make it worse if you reacted.

"Jus' like ya t'stand there like a creep too. Right mate?" Harry snapped back, your eyes widening trying desperately to tell him to not engage with the look in your eye.

"What do you want Ryan?" You turned around finally facing him. Still standing as close as possible to Harry. Your lips rolled in your mouth trying so hard to just keep your composure.

"I wanted to get my groceries but it looks like I'm getting a show instead." He laughed, smug smile on his face as he shook his head.

"Why don't you get the fuck outta 'ere then?" You snapped your head back around to look at Harry when his angry words left him. You'd never seen him actually angry before. His jaw tense from him clenching his teeth together.

You reached out touching his hand, trying to get him to calm down before a fucking wrestling match broke out in the middle of the store.

"What's wrong Harry?" Ryan asked, moving closer to you two. You instinctively took a small step backwards further into Harry's chest. Putting yourself directly between them, wanting to be the one to stop their insane testosterone battle going down in public.

"Figuring out you can't make a whore into a housewife getting you pissed? Already tried that with her buddy, didn't work out so well for me."

You felt Harry start to move forward, his hand by his side already in a fist as you desperately tried to push him back. You really didn't need this shit.

"Y'don't ever talk about her like that." Harry said so loudly you cringed. Feeling like a kid stuck in the middle of their parents fighting. You just wanted to drag Harry out of here before all your dirty laundry was aired out in public.

Your hand around his wrist, starting to try and walk in the other direction. Just wanting to leave. Hating confrontation all the way down into your bones. Wanting to run away from the situation like you always did.

"I'll talk about her however I want. You're the one playing house with my fucking wife." The second the words left Ryan's mouth Harry jerked his arm away from you, trying to stomp over to him before you grabbed him again.

"Ex-wife." You clarified yet again to Ryan your eyes burning into his as that smug smile came on his face. You had no idea why he felt like he still had this claim over you but it was getting old.

You were so over it. Just wanting him to leave you alone.

"Come on, baby. We're going." You whispered to Harry, lacing your fingers through his. Eyes pleading up to him to just leave it alone. You could see the battle raging behind his eyes. Wanting to kick Ryan's ass but not wanting to make you upset.

He sighed, finally giving in to what you wanted and turning to walk away with you.

Your heart beat finally starting to slow down the further you got away from Ryan. Harry's hand clutched tightly in yours. Your grip like deaths. Anxiety coursing through your veins along with adrenaline. You just wanted to leave.

"Oh, Y/N?" Ryan said from behind you, smugness seeping through his words. Seemingly pleased with whatever he was about to say to you.

You gulped, already knowing what was coming. Eyes closing, already fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill over. It was the last thing he had to hold over you, of course he was going to use it.

Use her.

"Make sure you have Thea ready Friday. It is my weekend after all."

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x You #harry styles x y/n #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction #writing #mine #LYHD

201 notes · View notes

tofucreator · 3 years

Note

Rose info please!

I have Ultimis, Primis and Cold War so I’ll just give general info about Ultimis, Primis Rose and possibly some Great War Rose?

Heads up for suggestive stuff at the end and possible internalized homophobia

Ultimis:

She calls zombies (not her children though) “dead heads” “brain dead freaks” and “meat bags”

She found out she was a masochist but hid it because she thought it wasn’t normal for someone like her to be into pain

Rose is the first person to be able to control zombies without going to into the M.P.D, even if the first two zombies are now her children

She has a German and British mixed in her accent

Even if she doesn’t like her mother, she likes the days before she turned 13, the birthday that she started getting abused by her mother, Marilyn

Rose’s name originally was Rose Golden Miller before she met Edward Richtofen, and when she did, after a while she changed her last name to Richtofen

The first person she looked up as a family member is Richtofen

The first person she met in the crew was Takeo, and once he tried to get closer to her, she immediately flinched, scared to be hurt again or even worse, killed. But luckily didn’t get either those outcomes

She attempted to flirt with other ladies while she was still in high school, with faith that she might get a lover and live with them to get away from her mother’s abusive household, which always failed

The first person that ever fell in love with her is Izzy, while Rose was kept captive at the USSR, because she managed to seduce Izzy, who is a Lieutenant

She stayed near Takeo while meeting the others, reasonably scared of them due to trauma before calming down

Even though she’ looks like a very kind and harmless person, she can and if needed to, will break your legs to prevent you running away, and look absolutely terrifying if needed if you refuse to talk

She met Richtofen before the apocalypse, only because she got captured by Group 935, and happens to be stronger than him

She looks up to Richtofen and Dempsey as father figures, Nikolai as a uncle, I currently don’t have any ideas for what Rose would look up to Takeo

Dempsey got her a dirty stuffed bunny as a gift, and Rose absolutely loves it

The way she died to then turn into a half Apothicon is that Jack killed her in a forest, got brought back to life by the shadow man, and stayed with him until she was perfectly fine to go outside again, but now she’s terrified of Jack (aka the deer)

At first she was completely terrified of Jack, but after a month or two, she wasn’t scared of him, but does occasionally flinch upon seeing him

Rose likes to occasionally steal Rosie, the calf, because she thinks it’s funny that Jason will have to chase her

Primis:

She only knew Dempsey and others in the army before the apocalypse

Dempsey was the only one that found out “Ryan”/Rose is German in the army, but still thought “he” was a biological male

Rose is a medic in the army

Richtofen was the first one to find out that Rose is actually a woman during the apocalypse in Der Eisendrache

She still has her biological father’s axe and uses it as a melee weapon

She looks up to Dempsey and Richtofen as father figures and Nikolai as an uncle, again no clue for Takeo yet

Completely in denial that she’s a lesbian, but only started accepting that she is a lesbian after her feelings towards Izzy got stronger

Rose will kill for Izzy, I mean she’s (Izzy) fucking b a b y!

Also got turned into a half Apothicon, because her Ultimis counterpart killed her while killing her Ultimis counterpart, and she got brought back to life and stayed with shadow man until she felt better (Primis Rose was successful in killing her Ultimis counterpart)

Both Primis and Ultimis:

The quickest way to put them to sleep is by letting lay on their adoptive parents chests, specifically where near the heart so they can hear the heartbeat, it comforts both the versions and lets them sleep perfectly fine

Buff lesbians 😳 they are both strong but can be easily be carried

They call their Richtofen “Vater” and their Dempsey “Papa” or “Dad”

Great War (there isn’t much for this version)

Only serious when it involves the work she needs to do, but other then that she’s usually really silly

She can make anyone laugh, even Richtofen, even if it’s a chuckle she’s very proud she can make the most serious person laugh

She calls Richtofen “father” and Dempsey “Dad”

Jack & Izzy - @moxxiewantstosleep

Suggestive(?) stuff under cut

Ultimis:

Izzy one time scratched Rose’s leg by accident while doing the deed, and now she just has a scar on her upper outer thigh, and Rose does like the scar

Rose would absolutely be okay if Izzy broke her hips while doing the deed-

If the pain isn’t enjoyable to her she will ask whoever she’s doing the deed with (mainly Izzy) to stop doing it that thing that causes her actual pain

She has top Izzy and will do it again in a heartbeat

Rose is mainly a bottom but will top if she ever wanted, as long as Izzy is okay with it that day

Primis:

Even though Rose has occasional thoughts of doing the deed with Izzy, she won’t act on them unless Izzy asked her too

Very patient with Izzy with doing anything sexual, she doesn’t want Izzy to be uncomfortable and in pain while doing the deed

She’s mainly the top

#rose (oc)#cod zombies oc #codz oc #anon ask #ask

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callunavulgari · 3 years

Text

Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k | Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP | Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k | The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes."

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.”

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k | Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k | “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k | Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words | “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | “Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words | “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words | “How long have you been fucking him?” Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

#heather says what #heather writes #scrapbook #2021

3 notes · View notes

poc-movie-supremacy · 3 years

Text

Hold me close, protect me darling

Shane gets attacked in a ghost investigation, luckily he has Ryan to protect him.

Song fic to Love me Tender featuring Ryan with wings

Merry last day of November. Enjoy!

----

Take my hand

It was an honest mistake. Shane didn’t think this place was haunted. It didn’t feel haunted like they usually do so he relaxed. He had fun taunting air and spooking Ryan. He felt invincible, untouchable.

That confidence lasted until he was halfway through his one on one sesh in the supposedly haunted bathroom. Shane had started upping his taunt game thinking he was safe. The air turned to ozone and the ground started to shake. Fear paralyzed Shane to the spot. He was aware of Ryan trying to get in but was helpless to help him.

A rotting figure of blood and bones rose from the floor. It was hunched over with disproportionate limbs. It’s teeth were narly and sharp.The creatures was a black as night, blending in with the shadows save for its pure white eyes.

Flashing Shane a smile, he rasped, “You wanna rock and roll? It’s on.”

It’s hand looked like a tree branch. Uneven and dented and rough. It seemed to grow forward enough to claw at Shane’s cheek. In turn, Shane let out a pain-filled screech. Ryan’s furious assault on the poor bathroom door grew ten-fold.

“What’s wrong now shane? Where’s all that bravado you packed in your speech?” It’s words were high pitched static that resembled human speech. A passing thought in Shane’s brain stated that it sounded like the spirit box.

Still completely immobilized, the demon gave a deep laugh and grabbed his wrist. It’s touch was strong and icy. At the same time, Ryan kicked down the door. Forcefully, he yanked Shane back behind him and spread his wings. The red and yellow wings were so large they practically shielded Shane’s entire person.

Ryan growled at the demon who glared back. Shane tried to calm down and comes back to his senses. When the demon tried to taunt Ryan like he did Shane, he just broke his arm off and blazed him to death. Shane has never been more grateful for Ryan’s lazer eyes. Quickly, Ryan grabbed Shane’s not broken hand and flew them quickly out of the house. His warm soft hand felt grounding. It was a great relief, a great soother. Shane clung to Ryan tightly as he flew them quickly to the car. They quickly got in and gunned it all the way home.

Take my whole life too

As they drove Ryan was stewed, focusing on their first meeting in an effort to calm himself down.

It was a nice warm November day. The leaves were changing color and the air was getting colder. Ryan was in the park, exercising. He was shirtless leaving his wings unfolded. Taylor Swift blared from his phone as he lunged. The burn of breathing felt nice. The stretch of his muscles was a relief.

Ryan was unaware of anyone else until a slightly deep voice pulled him back into the real world. “You, your wings, you’re gorgeous.”

When he turned around, a tall, lanky, white dude was gaping at him. He looked a little cute, the wide eyed mused hair look. Ryan smirked then used the tip of his wing to close his mouth.

“And you are staring.”

A deep red blush raced up the man’s face. Words raced over and jumbled over each other when the white dude opened his mouth. His long fingers scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just your beauty… I thought the autumn leaves were pretty, they were nothing compared to your wings. They…” His words seemed to die on his throat. Nervously he scratched the back of his neck and avoided Ryan’s eyes.

Ryan laughed at his words. “What a charmer. Most people seem so superficial when they compliment me, you act like you mean it.”

The strangers nodded furiously. “I do, I do.”

“Well then, why don’t you tell me more over coffee.” Ryan grabbed the stranger’s arm and wrote his number on his wrist. “Name’s Ryan, I can’t wait to see you there...” Ryan trailed off to give the stranger a chance to give him his name.

“Shane! My name’s Shane.”

“Nice to meet you Shane.” Ryan flashed him a nice smile. It made Shane’s blush return full force. With that, Ryan flew away leaving behind a stunned and flustered Shane in his wake.

For I can’t help falling in love with you.

It seemed like love at first sight. They decided at a little coffee shop that sometimes held poetry slams. Ryan blow dried his hair and left it curly. He found a nice pink shirt and a pair of blue slacks. At 7:30 he left his apartment for the coffee shop.

Soft jazz filled the coffee shop. It was darkly lit by multi-colored stage lights. Shane was waiting for him at a table tapping his fingers nervously. He had on a starched white shirt and a pair of black slacks with matching black suspenders. Ryan took a moment to watch him softly before heading in. When Shane caught his eye a bright smile erupted on his face. It made Ryan flush as he pulled out a chair.

“This spot’s nice,” Ryan remarked casually.

“Yeah, they sell the best popcorn on poetry nights. I like to listen to the poets while I munch.”

Surprise etched onto Ryan’s face, “You like popcorn?”

“Oh yeah, baby, best treat ever!” Ryan let out a laugh as they started going into an hour-long in depth discussion about popcorn. It was, it felt comfortable, nice. He liked the way Shane’s mind worked.

Currently, right now, as Ryan pulled into their driveway, he did not like the way Shane’s mind worked. He led Shane to the couch while Ryan found the medical supplies. Luckily they still had the brace from the last time one of them sprained a wrist. Ryan got some painkillers and the first aid kit before heading back over to Shane. His boyfriend had a vacant look to his eye. He wasn’t speaking, barely moving except to cradle his broken wrist. Ryan took a seat by him and Shane turned himself towards him.

Quickly Ryan put the wrist in the brace before getting to work on the nasty face cuts. The bleeding had stopped considerably since it was cut. Shane’s shirt wasn’t salvageable, but better a lost shirt than a lost Shane. To lighten the mood Shane attempted to make a joke, “Least I’ll have a cool scar after this.” When he tries to laugh he hisses for the pain of the disinfectant.

Ryan stares him dead in the eye with a look that could’ve been neutral if it weren’t for the anger tinged sadness in his eyes. He says nothing and opts to keep cleaning his husband’s wounds. Shane sighs and squeezes his husband’s bicep. “I’m sorry,” Ryan quirks an eyebrow, confused. “I shouldn’t have made that joke or taunted tht demon.”

“I’m not mad, big guy, just scared the shit out of me. I’d tell you to be careful, but I think we both already know that.”

Shane tries to nod his head, but he forgot Ryan was still stitching up his wounds. He hissed in pain as Ryan took his chin in his thumb and forefinger and gently pulled it back down to eye level. Ryan let out a soft chuckle as he got back to stitching up Shane’s wounds.

“Thanks baby, I love you.” Shane whispered to his husband when he finished.

“I love you too.”

#shyan #ella's unsolved fics #we're all fic writers here

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luminescencefics · 3 years

Text

you feel like home - part three

He’s smiling then, and Jackson takes that as his cue to continue snuggling Luna into his lap. Ryan’s eyes shift from her new small friend to his father leaning against his doorframe wearing slouchy grey joggers and a graphic t-shirt that shows off his decorated toned arms that she can’t seem to stop looking at.

“Is this our new thing? Meeting up in hallways?” Harry asks, and Ryan can feel the butterflies take flight in her stomach, stretching their wings along her ribcage and floating up through her body, leaving her feeling far too many things all at once.

story page // read on wattpad // join the taglist // banner credit

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***

Luna’s Great Escape

It’s been two days since Ryan last saw Harry in her doorway, and she’s grateful for the rainstorm that’s been plaguing north central London ever since he left her heart racing that afternoon. The rain hasn’t stopped roaring, presumably ruining Jackson’s playtime in the park, allowing Ryan a short period of time to catch her breath.

She’s spent the past two days in a bit of a drunken stupor. After Harry uttered those words to her in the hallway before entering his own flat, Ryan ripped open the parcel and finished her work for the day, sending over her inspections and adjustments to her supervisor in a daze before the clock struck five. Afterward, she tore off her flannel pajama bottoms and shoved them into the depths of her drawer to hopefully never be seen again, traipsing into her bathroom to turn the tub on, a few bottles of Carlsberg nestled tightly under her armpit.

It’s not that Ryan was avoiding her feelings, because she truly didn’t understand them. After two beers, she came to the conclusion that the bubbling in her gut and the warmth on her cheeks, the fluttering of her heart and the pinch in her breath—was all due to the fact that she found Harry annoyingly attractive.

Ryan’s no stranger to attractive men. Her awkwardness practically disappears after a few shots of tequila have settled into her bloodstream, allowing her to hold a conversation with a handsome man without the overwhelming urge to stutter over her words or shift in her heeled boots from nervousness. Most times, in her debilitated state, she’s gotten lucky with a quick shag and a fumbling exit hidden under the darkness of the night. But now, as she sits in her bathtub nursing her fourth beer, a Kiehl’s face mask hardened over her skin, she’s not sure how much alcohol she would need to consume in order to appear seemingly normal in front of Harry.

That was last night. Now, as her hangover starts to settle in, Ryan’s decided that she needs advice. The brutally honest kind that usually fell unapologetically from the lips of her best mate Fiona.

“So let me get this straight, your new neighbor just so happens to be fit as all hell, and you’ve had a handful of conversations with him without making a complete fool of yourself, and you still haven’t shagged him? What am I missing here, Ry?” Fiona’s voice calls out from Ryan’s mobile that’s leaning against her porcelain fruit bowl, the camera angle allowing her to be able to see Fiona while attempting to cook some sort of pasta dish to cure the throbbing in her head.

“Fee, I got fucking rug burn on my knee from tripping over my own bloody feet the first time I met him!” Ryan recalls, the memory causing her head to shake aggressively, trying her hardest to expel it from her brain.

“Well, I did say complete fool,” Fiona retorts, causing Ryan to roll her eyes as she tries her hardest to follow the vodka sauce recipe she found on Pinterest. She’s eyeing the heavy cream she just added to the saucepan, wondering if the color should be pinker.

“I think it’s for the best if I just continue avoiding him for the rest of my life,” Ryan says, opening the box of ziti and throwing it into the boiling pot on the back left burner.

She can hear Fiona laugh over the hiss of the water. “Stop with the dramatics! You’re starting to sound like me.”

Ryan just ignores her friend, stirring the sauce that’s starting to smell. She instantly reaches for the parmesan cheese, adding more aimlessly to change the viscosity into something that doesn’t resemble broth.

“This could be great for you, Ry,” Fiona says through the screen once Ryan’s reappeared in front of her.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Ryan asks, a bit distracted with the way the saucepan on the hob begins to gurgle inconspicuously.

“Because he’s fit. And he literally lives right next door. This is fantastic news! You can get laid without even leaving your building! Especially during quarantine with the entire city on lockdown!” While Ryan loves her friend, she hates the way Fiona says certain words, her voice level rising with each stressed syllable. She’s speaking so loudly that Ryan thinks back to how Harry referred to hearing Mrs. Bingsley banging about in the kitchen when she used to live in this unit, and immediately Ryan lowers the volume on her mobile, grabbing it from its spot against the fruit bowl and turning into her living room to be as far away from the thin walls as possible.

“I’m not sleeping with him, Fiona. I literally just met him,” Ryan says, sitting on the arm rail of her couch, watching Luna in her periphery continue sleeping soundly against the throw pillows.

“But you want to.”

Ryan stays silent, wondering if that’s what the bubbling and fluttering and pinching of all her insides means. Wondering if all of these feelings can simply be associated to sexual attraction.

“Why don’t you knock on his door and ask for a plunger or something?” Fiona says, breaking the silence. Ryan instantly disagrees, her eyes widening in fear.

“No, that’s a terrible idea! I don’t want him to think I’ve clogged up my fucking toilet,” Ryan shrieks, knowing that move would definitely work on a girl like Fiona—confident, unrelenting, and fearless. But for a girl like Ryan, whose cheeks turn red whenever a boy like Harry even looks in her direction, she knows there’s no way she can handle that.

Fiona sighs. “You’re probably right.”

Before Ryan can respond, the blaring sound of the smoke detector going off from the kitchen interrupts her thoughts. “Shit!” she screeches, jumping up from her seated position and running into the kitchen, her mobile clutched in her fist as she approaches the stovetop. The saucepan with the once pinkish-red sauce has now turned black, the edges burnt to a crisp, smoke rising from the top because Ryan forgot to lower the heat to a simmer. The pot with the pasta has boiled over, water falling onto the burner with a loud fizzle. “Fuck!”

“Christ, Ryan! Only you can burn fucking pasta!” Fiona shouts through her mobile, and Ryan immediately discards the device on the countertop, flicking the burners off. She reaches for the dishtowel near the sink, waving it under the smoke detector to make the incessant noise cease.

“It won’t fucking stop!” Ryan bellows, switching the towel to her left arm. If Harry didn’t hear her before, he definitely heard her now, and the thought is enough to make her wave her arms frantically, praying for the smoke detector to shut off.

“Open the front door, get some airflow in the flat, you twit! Twenty-seven and still can’t cook a bloody meal, it’s a shock how you’ve survived this long on your own—”

Ryan doesn’t stay in the kitchen long enough to hear the rest of Fiona’s comment. Instead, she’s spinning on her heels towards her front door, opening it up partly in hope to get the smell of burnt food out of her flat.

Just as she walks back into the kitchen, the beeping finally stops, and Ryan feels as if she can finally breathe again. Her cheeks are stained red from the exertion of flailing her arms about, the stray hairs from her low ponytail sticking to the nape of her neck uncomfortably. She takes in the state of her kitchen, annoyed with herself that she got too preoccupied with Fiona’s ramblings instead of focusing on cooking her pathetic meal.

“Have you died?” The sound echoes from the countertop where Ryan left her mobile, and for a moment Ryan forgets that Fiona was waiting for her. She saunters over slowly, leaning her mobile on the toaster oven so that she can rest her bent elbows on the countertop, her hands falling over her cheeks in embarrassment.

“Knew I should’ve gone with the boxed mac and cheese,” Ryan mumbles, catching her breath.

Fiona laughs. “I appreciate the attempt, Jamie Oliver. You’ve probably scared Luna half to death, poor thing.”

At the mention of her kitten’s name, Ryan immediately swivels her head around to the living room, eyes falling to the spot on the couch her white British Shorthair was just occupying. But when she looks closer, she realizes that Luna is gone.

She quickly stands up straight, telling Fiona she’ll call her back before ending the FaceTime call, entering the living room to search every nook and cranny for her kitten. Luna’s small body is nowhere near the couch or armchairs, her cat tree is empty, and when Ryan takes a look in her bedroom and finds absolutely nothing, she’s suddenly filled with fear at the fact that her kitten has disappeared.

Before Ryan can have a full-blown meltdown at the loss of her meal and kitten in the span of ten minutes, she hears the faint echo of a meow from the other side of her front door. A tiny giggle follows after, and suddenly Ryan’s head is peering out into the hallway, falling on the sight of Luna laying on the carpet with her tummy up in the air, and Jackson’s small hands rubbing soothing circles in her fur.

“What would your dad say about you leaving the flat without him?” Ryan calls out from her doorframe, watching the way Jackson’s face lights up when he realizes it is her speaking to him.

“Daddy will probably be mad. But I heard the kitty outside when I was playing! I didn’t know you had one!” He’s smiling so wide it causes Ryan to immediately do the same, despite her borderline breakdown a few moments prior. She trots over towards the pair, crouching down in front of them and balancing on the heels of her socked-clad heels, watching the way Luna purrs at Jackson’s soft strokes.

“I do. This is Luna,” Ryan answers, grinning when Jackson begins cooing at the tiny animal.

“Hi Luna, I’m Jackson. You’re so soft.” He’s whispering to her and Ryan isn’t quite sure why, and when Luna suddenly flips over and sits on Jackson’s lap, Ryan feels her heart swell at the sight of two tiny things cuddling up to one another.

The silence is broken by a gruff, frustrated voice. “Jackson! You can’t keep runnin’ off—oh.”

Three pairs of different colored eyes look up at the intrusion, and suddenly Harry’s anger dissipates at the sight of his son holding a cute kitten in his lap. A cute kitten that just so happens to belong to his even cuter neighbor who he seemingly can’t stop thinking about.

Ryan just smiles shyly, swallowing harshly when Harry crosses his arms over his broad chest, his large palms cupping his bulging biceps under the thin material of his shirt. She coughs into her fist, realizing now that she probably should stand up from her crouched position so that she’s no longer staring up at him underneath the cover of her eyelashes.

“Daddy look! Ryan has a kitty!” Jackson squeals, his cheek squished against Luna’s tiny face as he pets behind her ears, causing her whole body to vibrate with a deep purr.

Harry looks between Luna and Ryan, that slow smirk grazing his lips that causes Ryan’s cheeks to burn with a deep blush. “I can see that, Bubs.” His voice is so deep Ryan can feel it settle into her bones, and suddenly she wishes her hair wasn’t tied behind her head in a ponytail so that she could hide her reddened cheeks under the deep brown tendrils.

Before she can speak, a loud whistle from Harry’s flat breaks the silence. His upper body shifts away from the doorframe so that he’s standing straight, arms falling back to his sides as he peers behind the entranceway to ensure that the steam is blowing from the spout of the kettle on the hob.

“Fancy some tea, Ryan?” Harry asks once he’s turned back in her direction.

Ryan quickly stumbles to stand upright, wiping her sweaty palms on her cotton biker shorts. An oversized band tee she stole from her ex-boyfriend swishes with her hasty movements, and she can feel her head shaking before her mouth can say no.

“Uh, I’m okay. Don’t want to impose or anything,” she stutters, the sound of her thick woolen mid-calf socks scuffling against the carpeting with her incessant shuffling due to the influx of nerves that begin creeping up her spine.

“Please, Ryan? I can play with Luna! I’m a great sitter,” Jackson proclaims loudly from his seated position behind her. Once again, Ryan finds herself struggling to say no to her new friend with just one look into his beady green eyes. With nothing but a small smile, Ryan’s nodding in Jackson’s direction, her grin growing larger when he scoops up Luna in his little arms, ducking past his father and entering the flat.

Harry chuckles, holding the door open a bit wider so that Ryan can follow him inside.

She’s watching as he ducks into the kitchen, shutting off the burner so that the whistling kettle can quiet down. Ryan watches Jackson plop Luna on the soft emerald rug, laying on his stomach so that he can observe her every move. After guaranteeing that her kitten is in good hands, Ryan enters the kitchen, settling on one of the dark leather barstools and watching Harry grab two tea mugs from the cabinet above the sink.

As his arm extends to reach the top shelf, Ryan can’t help but take note of the contrast between his right and left arm. His left arm was ornamented with various black etchings, flowing across his skin in a strange way that somehow looked beautiful. When Ryan watches his right arm reach out to grab the tea bags, the untouched skin practically blinding against the harsh overhead lights, she feels her throat suddenly dry up—and she’s left wondering if she should add this to her growing list of symptoms she feels whenever she’s around Harry.

“Sugar? Milk?” Harry asks, his back still to her as he rummages around the drawers to prepare their tea.

“Sure.” She’s distracted by the way his thin t-shirt practically hides nothing, the ebb and flow of his back muscles constricting with each gentle movement he makes as he grasps the sugar from the counter and grips the milk from the fridge.

When he turns to meet her at the kitchen island, he clutches both mugs in one hand, the other holding both the sugar jar and milk carton. Ryan’s forced to look away, her mind completely fogging over at the site.

The sound of the ceramic mugs clinking against the granite counter causes Ryan to look up, smiling softly when he pushes the tea in her direction. Just before her hands can clasp around the handle, she regards the black script tattoo above the crook of his elbow, the words Jackson in lowercase lettering make her breath hitch in her throat.

“How have you been, all right?” Harry asks from across the island, reaching for the milk and adding a generous amount to the murky tea. His eyes are busy focusing on the task at hand, and Ryan can finally feel herself calm down a bit.

“Yeah, been okay. You?” she responds, blowing a bit on her tea before bringing the mug to her lips, swallowing deeply and reveling in the taste of the brew. Harry’s eyebrows arch when he notices that she takes her tea black, but he doesn’t make a comment about it, choosing instead to rest his forearms on the counter, pushing his mug a bit closer towards Ryan’s as he leans against the island, infiltrating her personal space just the tiniest bit.

“Yeah, okay. Bit shit with the weather, though. Jackson’s been going crazy,” he comments, his mouth far too distracting when he licks the spilled over tea on his lower lip. Ryan flicks her head over in Jackson’s direction, thankful that she can look at something other than Harry’s stupidly good-looking face.

Ryan hums in agreement, bringing the tea back to her lips as she swivels back in her stool, her eyes back on Harry’s.

“That cat of yours will give him another reason to talk about you for hours,” Harry says with a grin.

“If it weren’t for his knack of sneaking out of your flat, Luna probably would have ended up on the seventh floor. Guess I owe him a proper thank you,” Ryan counters, smiling at the fact that she made Harry laugh.

“Little shit never listens to me,” Harry says lightly, and Ryan suddenly wonders if he has any help looking after Jackson.

She starts to look around the kitchen for any hints of a feminine touch. The state of his flat is disgustingly clean, and when she observes the fridge to see if there are any photographs of Jackson’s mum, she’s found that there’s nothing but artwork most likely done by the hands of a four-year-old.

When she shifts her head to the other side of the room, where the kitchen flows into the living room, she doesn’t really find anything new. The walls are still filled with records, the instruments are still lining the walls, the couch is still void of throw pillows. Ryan tries to visualize the entranceway, trying her hardest to remember if she noticed any heeled boots or women’s jackets on the coat rack.

She hasn’t known Harry long, barely a month at this point, and in that short period of time she’s never heard him speak about a woman before. Ryan’s not stupid—she knows that both sexes are needed to produce a child—but she’s truly never seen a woman enter or exit Harry’s flat.

Granted, it’s only been a month. And she isn’t really sure if she can call him her friend yet, therefore she feels a bit odd in asking. Ryan’s come to the conclusion that maybe Jackson’s mum is an essential worker, a nurse perhaps, a profession in which she has the luxury of leaving her home to go to work.

“Ryan?” Harry’s oaky voice breaks Ryan out of her headspace, and suddenly she’s blinking in Harry’s direction, embarrassed at the fact that she wasn’t listening to anything he had just said to her in the last few minutes.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” she responds lamely, bringing the mug to her lips with the goal of hiding the lower half of her flushed cheeks.

Harry just laughs, cocking his head to the side to observe her intently. “Doesn’t matter. Lost you for a minute in there.”

“Right. Sorry about that,” Ryan responds, wishing Harry would stop looking at her as if she were the most fascinating creature on the planet.

“Does that happen a lot?” Harry asks quietly, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to know every little thing about her.

Ryan’s eyes squint in confusion. “Does what happen?”

“That,” Harry starts, taking a sip of his tea without tearing his eyes away from Ryan’s. “You getting lost in your own head.”

Ryan quietly contemplates Harry’s comment, watching the way he watches her with intrigue. As a serial overthinker, Ryan knows that she retreats sometimes, mulling over her words intensely before speaking. Unlike Fiona who blurts every thought that runs through her head, Ryan’s always been more critical, obsessing over every detail before verbalizing. It’s the only thing that helps subdue her social anxiety.

But she’s found that whenever she’s around Harry, she can’t bring herself to think about anything, really. It’s as if her mind is blank, encouraging her to speak what she truly feels, without all the thinking that usually comes along with it.

She’s not quite sure what that all means.

So she just shrugs, sipping softly. “Sometimes, yeah.”

Harry nods before changing the subject, which makes Ryan feel relieved. “So, my quiet, reclusive neighbor is also a cat lady? It’s far too fitting, Ryan.” He’s teasing her a bit and it’s enough to make Ryan giggle, the sound practically causing Harry to splutter his tea over the rim of his mug.

“I’m all about clichés, clearly,” Ryan responds, her eyes zeroing in on the hollow dimples that appear around his mouth whenever he laughs. She finds herself enjoying the sight very much.

“She’s cute,” Harry says, his eyes shifting from Luna to the woman sitting across from him. Ryan assumes he’s talking about her kitten, and she smiles, swiveling around in her chair to watch Jackson giggle whenever Luna’s paws graze his arms. But when she feels Harry’s gaze on her cheek, she’s wondering if he’s talking about something else, too.

“He’s good with her,” Ryan acknowledges, impressed with how gentle Jackson was with Luna. Most toddlers his age were too handsy with her, scaring her off before she even got the chance to get used to them. But Jackson is proving to be a natural, allowing Luna to grow comfortable around him before he started playing with her.

Harry finally looks over to his son, smiling at the sight in the living room. “Yeah, he’s a good kid.”

Ryan turns round to face Harry again. “He really is. Guess he has you to thank for that. And his mum, I suppose.”

Harry’s face suddenly loses its grin, and Ryan’s wondering if she’s said too much. His eyes have lost their shine, and the granite countertop seems to be more interesting than Ryan’s face. Before she can say anything, an apology or some version of one, the computer in the corner of the living room begins to ring loudly, causing Harry to stand upright and peer at the clock on the microwave screen.

“Shit. Forgot I had a four o’clock meeting,” he says quickly, gathering his mug in one hand and crossing the threshold so that he’s entering the living room space. Ryan stands up, frowning down at her half-emptied cup of tea, wondering what blend Harry uses because it’s just that good, and she’s a bit sad to leave it unfinished.

Harry turns around, catching the frown on Ryan’s face. “You can finish it at yours if you’d like,” he offers with a small smile.

“Oh, no it’s okay, I wouldn’t want to—”

“—Ryan,” Harry says, cutting her off and walking towards her so that he’s fully in her line of vision, “It’s fine. ‘S not like I don’t know where you live.” The smirk is back on his face and the blush is back coating Ryan’s cheeks, and suddenly the balance has been restored in their small universe.

Ryan nods, clutching the mug tightly in her hands and side-stepping Harry in order to reach Jackson and Luna on the living room floor. “‘M sorry, champ, but Luna and I have got to go.”

“Really?” Jackson says, tearing his eyes away from Luna and onto the two adults standing in front of him. He’s frowning and Ryan instantly feels bad.

“Yeah, Bubs, daddy’s got work to do. I’m sure you can see Luna again very soon, if Ryan’s okay with it,” Harry says, causing two pairs of green eyes to fall onto her frame.

She nods quickly, crouching down in front of her small friend and grabbing Luna in her unoccupied hand. “Of course, champ. We’ll schedule a playdate.”

Jackson grins enthusiastically, wiggling on the floor with excitement. Before Ryan can respond, Harry appears in front of her, a small smile on his face.

“I’ll see you later, Ryan,” he mutters in a low timbre.

“Bye, Harry. Thanks again for the tea,” she responds, heading towards the doorway in her socks and leaving the confines of his flat, trying her hardest to catch her breath in the silence of the empty hallway.

It’s only once she’s back in her own flat, her sad attempt of dinner disposed of in the bin and in its place an oversized bowl of cereal in one hand, with Harry’s mug in the other, Ryan comes to a startling realization.

Harry’s tea mug was a far better alternative than the fucking plunger.

*** A/N: Hi guys, here’s part three of you feel like home! I hope you enjoyed it. Part four will be posted on Thursday November 19, so feel free to chat with me in the meantime! This was a submission for the 1DFF Quarantine Challenge, which has other amazing writers participating as well, so feel free to check out the page! x

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #hs #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x reader #harry x ofc #1dff #1dffupdates #fic: home #1dffquarantine

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