Home Sweet Homesick | AO3
Characters: Clavis Lelouch, Chevalier Michel
Genre: Angst, Comfort.
Summary: Two brothers. One month. The final autumn before Bloodstained Rose Day.
Word Count: 5.8k (grab a mug of your preferred warm beverage, friends)
A/N: It has come to my attention that I have never written a fic with these two interacting. Yes, I am shocked, too. This is a franken-fall-fic for the following challenges, many warm hugs to the awesome writers who set them up!
Prompts:
Getting warm in their sweater - Cozytober hosted by @randonauticrap
"Your hands are cold." - Pumpkins & Fireplaces 2022 hosted by @chaosangel767
Treats - Fall Fluff & Autumn Angst CCC hosted by @aquagirl1978 & @violettduchess
Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, mild descriptions of injuries and pain (no blood), mild Clavis route spoilers.
“Recent activity west constitutes a growing concern, however full-blown mobilization of troops would be premature at this juncture—”
“Yaaaawn!”
“—No significant changes to report. Although such an extended pause may suggest possibility of attack—”
“Sn-ore!”
“—Our swiftest horse and rider are prepared to head out on-call with detailed instructions, should any perturbing developments arise—”
“Some perturbing development better arise in the next five seconds before I die of boredom!”
Tent flaps crack as a sharp gust bursts in unannounced, causing the stacks of paper and envelopes piled on top of our makeshift oakwood desk to flutter longingly underneath the stones I arrested them with. Three of the four candles illuminating my side blow out instantly, but the last one manages to hold on to its wicker as the mini tempest fades out as quickly as it started. It flickers feebly before bouncing back to its previous height, as though the wind was but a slight inconvenience.
I want nothing more than to grab that candlestick and plunge it straight into the desk.
But I don’t do that. I straighten my back, brush the windswept hair out of my face, and assess the damage. Luckily I had the foresight to restopper the ink bottle, because it was rolling halfway across the table by the time I spotted it. I manage to snatch it and my quill before they tumble over the edge and lay them atop the slightly wrinkled letter I was penning. Oh well, wrinkled doesn’t mean illegible, and I would know that better than anyone. Besides, the thing will get folded and stuffed into an envelope anyway. What’s one more crease in its cap?
I lightly tap the last word I wrote and lift my finger. No stains. Amazing how some good came from that nimble nimbus, considering all the damage its friends did to our tent. A large dollop of water trickles through a rip in the top and drops onto my hair, a casual reminder of the rainstorm that bucketed our camp this afternoon. I shake my head and peek through the still-swaying tent flaps to the citadel stationed at the bottom of the hill.
Golden fireplaces and candelabras illuminate the dozens of windows scattered across the fortress walls. Up here they look like tiny fireflies waiting to be captured.
I would like to go down there and catch them.
But I am technically still on duty. Yes, being a scribe is a duty of mine, and one I take rather seriously, despite what some nosy naysaying ministers may claim. Despite the fact that I prefer to be buried beneath a stack of dry blankets than wet letters, next to one of those shimmering fireflies. Despite the fact that our shabby little tent is one gust away from flying off to oblivion.
I mean Obsidian.
Either? Both? Beyond?
I do not like our shabby little tent.
But it doesn’t matter what I like because Chevalier likes it. Or rather, he likes its location. High above the tallest hill, the perfect vantage point overlooking both Rhodolite and Obsidian’s movements. Close enough to the citadel to relay any new perturbing developments as soon as they occur. Far enough from the border to dispel any accusations of militaristic intent.
Were this hilltop not the size of my closet, I bet Chevalier would move here permanently.
I wish Chevalier would move here permanently.
“Though it would be ardent to begin preparations at present, for the tides may turn mere moments after this letter leaves our base—”
“Now hold on, I haven’t caught up yet!” I say, quickly picking up my quill again. Did he say “preparations for presents”? I didn’t realize we were throwing a party. Yves’s birthday was a few weeks ago, but he’s back at the castle.
This makes no sense. And “tummies may turn”? Jin would sooner swear off women than Chevalier utter the word tummy in any context. Though mine has been spinning in circles since we started nearly two hours ago. It is long past midnight now, and I’d really like to lie down. But if Chevalier isn’t tired, neither am I.
I’ll just write down my best guess.
Like the candle, Chevalier only paused for a moment then instantly resumed his blathering as soon as the wind ceased. It doesn’t surprise me, honestly. I’ve seen my brother cut his dinner with a steak knife, stab an assassin with said knife, and chew his brisket all in the same breath.
And people say I’m the batty one.
Keeping my head hanging low over the paper, I steal a peek at Chevalier at the other end of the tent. He twirls a red stone figurine of a soldier in his left hand as he studies the large map laid out on the table, his back towards me. Not even his hair looks disturbed by the wind, and for some reason that angers me more than his refusal to slow down enough for me to catch up.
“Stop that,” he snaps, plunking the red soldier on the map with a sharp thwack.
“Stop what? Writing for your lazy behind?” I say.
“That nettlesome tapping. It is disrupting my thoughts.”
I unconsciously halt tapping the quill. Now do you understand what a blessing it is that I am still sane, dear reader?
“Well, you’re disrupting my process with your ugly mug,” I say, resuming the tapping, louder this time. I wish I could see his face right now. His eye is probably twitching like it does when I interrupt his reading, and that always makes it worth the mental trudge it takes to see him.
I will not be rewarded for my efforts tonight, it seems.
“You’re welcome to pick up where I left off if my way bothers you so much,” I say.
Chevalier hums and reaches for another figurine from a box. This time he pulls out a black one.
“And what would you do then to occupy yourself?” he asks, flicking the tip of the soldier’s miniature sword with his finger. “Tap your quill? Twiddle your thumbs? Sleep? When you’ve hardly managed to catch a wink this past month?”
And whose fault is that? I want to say, but I force my lips into a tight grin instead. A gentleman does not complain when faced with adversity. He powers through with grace and dignity and an unyielding smile.
But my cheeks are seriously starting to bear the toll of weeks upon weeks of these fake smiles. And my eyes have long since run out of tears following all those late-night jumpscares whenever I do manage to fall asleep. And my limbs are screaming from the grueling daily training rounds from dawn to dusk. Even if the days are getting shorter, they’re getting colder as well.
And I haven’t told Chevalier this, but earlier today I sprained my wrist while sword training. It really isn’t that big of a deal, to be honest. I was only squeezing in some extra swings before training officially began because a nasty nightmare woke me up too soon again. I figured I’d practice on the ancient oak tree we secured our tent to, and maybe set up a scenario where I’d “accidentally” sever the ropes and let the thing collapse on top of snoozing Chevalier, but I ended up tripping over one of the massive roots in the dark and tumbling down the hill.
He just had to choose the tallest hill.
“You are thinking of something asinine again,” says Chevalier.
“Definitely not,” I say, turning back to the letter. He is very lucky I injured my illegible hand.
I stuff said hand into my pocket and slowly stretch my fingers one by one, starting from the thumb, but my index finger only makes it halfway up before I have to muffle a grunt from the pain. I masterfully mask it by coughing into the crook of my good arm.
Another thwack of a figure placement, and Chevalier is back to reciting his correspondence. If he is upset that I just coughed on his sweater, he doesn’t make an effort to show it.
Yes, this is Chevalier’s sweater I am wearing. My shirt is all in tatters now after a certain fall down a hill (that I cannot believe I am bringing up twice in the same sitting). And my backup shirt is currently hanging outside, still dripping with this afternoon’s downpour. Chevalier took one look at me after I returned from practice and tossed me the sweater before I could get even one foot in the tent.
How very considerate of him, forcing his exhausted and sopping younger brother to change outdoors after sunset in October so his precious maps and documents wouldn’t get drenched.
I think I’ll leave a great big sneeze in the collar next, just to show how much I appreciate his prospective.
But I’d end up inhaling more wool than medically recommended before Chevalier would ever bother to tell me to stop.
I’m actually still in shock to even be wearing it, to tell the truth. I figured it was buried at the bottom of his closet half-eaten by moths. It had been years since I’d last seen the thing, when his grandfather gave it to him at his mother’s funeral. One of those events I figured Chevalier deemed not worth remembering.
But I remember.
I remember the way Chevalier stood in front of her grave after they buried her, pale and stiff and dry-eyed, like a flawless stone figurine. I remember how the Lord Michel walked up beside him and almost put his hand on his shoulder, but pulled away at the last second when Chevalier turned to look at him. And I remember how he looked back. How he shakily drew the folded sweater from his other arm and trembled as he presented it to his grandson, a boy not half his size.
“She’d want you to keep warm,” he’d said. I remember how cold his words sounded that day.
I remember how cold my mother’s hand was, too.
“Ow!”
The quill clatters on the desk as I furiously rub at my temple. When I open my eyes, a black knight lays atop my letter, shimmering dully in the single candlelight.
“What was that for?” I growl.
“You misspelled ‘accommodate’.”
“What?” I push the knight aside and count the letters of the last word I wrote. Two c’s and one m stare back at me in glossy ebony ink. I glance back at Chevalier. His hand is rummaging through the box again, but his eyes never lift from the map.
I pick up the quill and start to squeeze a mini m by the first when a second figure bounces off my head.
“Stop that!” I yell.
“Start over.”
“No way, it’s just a tiny fix. And I was almost done!” I hold the nearly-filled page up to him, but he still refuses to look.
“Then you should have been more attentive.”
“Who cares? It’s just going to Leon.”
“With my signature.” He slams another figure on the map with finality.
But I’m not finished.
“You rewrite it then.”
No response.
My seat flies back as I stand, but my cheek is pressed against the dirt before it reaches the ground.
My wrists are trapped and suspended in the air, but this time I can’t hide my roars of pain. They’d be louder I’m sure, but the knee jabbing into my back limits the airflow into my lungs.
My vision spins. I bite the inside of my cheek and force myself to breathe deeply through my nose. Wet, molding tent mixed with the unwashed stench of two teenage boys who haven’t bathed in weeks burns my nostrils, but years of experience taught me this is the fastest way to calm my nerves in these situations. Years and years and years of experience. My head is still going fuzzy though, and I can’t tell if it’s from the pain or the exhaustion.
I pry my stinging eyes open and focus on the closest thing to me. The candlestick rolls a few inches away, the shape of my clenched fingers imprinted in the wax column, its flame still burning.
I must look positively feral, but no more feral than the beast pinning me down.
“I expected more,” says Chevalier.
His fingers dig under the sleeves and into my wrists as he yanks, pulling my face a few inches off the ground. I gasp like I’ve just resurfaced from a lake, and crane my neck as far back as I can to meet his piercing stare. He’s waiting for an explanation.
His palms are like ice, and my teeth chatter as I bite back the urge to scream.
“Your hands are c-cold.”
That’s it? One month of endless belittling, cold-shoulders, and sleeping outdoors. My fingers are brittle from writing dozens of letters. My elbows and knees bruised from constant repairs to this tent. My hand drips with searing wax from my latest failed payback attempt. And the best I can come up with is your hands are cold?
I expected more, too.
He stares a bit more, longer than he has all day, before finally releasing me. I fall back to the ground and bury my face in my collar —Chevalier’s sweater collar— heaving breaths in and out my nose until my head stops spinning. It takes me a few minutes, but I eventually push myself onto my knees and inspect the damage. I had grabbed the candlestick with my good hand without thinking, and my palm is now almost entirely covered in the waxy sticky stuff. At least it’s quickly solidifying in this cold, but I don’t dare peel it off yet. I might end up pulling off skin, too.
My injured wrist, on the other hand, looks even darker than it did this morning, with splotches of blue and purple climbing up my forearm. I hold my breath and nudge it with a finger, but to my surprise, I don’t feel any pain. In fact, I don’t feel anything, except for the sensation of frigid digits tapping my skin.
“Get that checked and be back by noon,” Chevalier calls. Another surprise, he’s not at his map but at my desk corner, chair back upright, scratching away with my quill at blinding speed.
“Noon?” I repeat. “You mean tomorrow?”
“I mean six hours from now. The numbness will wear off soon, and you’ll hassle the medics with your obnoxious blubbering if you do not hurry.” As if on cue, the first specs of dawn trickle in through the tent flaps.
“I’m not missing training,” I say. “If you’re going, so am I.”
“There is nothing more foolish than a dying man demanding poison over cure.”
“I’m not dying!” I march over and pull my good arm sleeve up to my elbow. “See? You’re just being dramatic.”
Again he refuses to look my way, instead focusing on folding the paper he was writing on into thirds. He retrieves the fallen candlestick, elegantly prepares a stamp, and, as soon as the seal cools, stacks it and the other letters I prepared onto my outstretched hand.
“You will deliver the post and return in time to memorize this new battle formation before afternoon practice commences. With the correct hand bandaged,” he warns, pushing past me to his maps. “Do not fall short of my expectations again.” He picks a red soldier from the box and resumes his planning.
I push through the flaps before the thwack reaches my ears.
Even though the tent is meager at best, it still mostly protects us from the harsh winds that pound every night. The approach of dawn hampers the air, but a brisk rush still uncomfortably tickles down my spine as I approach the edge of the hill. The numbness in my hand starts to fade as I stare down at those jagged rocks, almost goading me to trip again, and I back up until my boot bumps the oak tree.
Chevalier did say I have six hours.
I stuff the letters in my armpit and start climbing the tree, slowly as it is still quite dark out and my hands aren’t exactly in best form. I also try to keep quiet, in case Chevalier won’t approve of my little recess.
Once I reach the highest branch that can support my weight, I throw my legs over the edge and lean my cheek against the trunk. It is cool and covered in morning frost; a welcoming sensation to my welting face. Not so much to my tense thighs, but if I learned one thing on this trip it is to hold on to any good happenstances because they are rare to come by. Or last long.
I pull the letters out again and straighten them. Leon’s is first, a tiny detailed rose drawn directly underneath his perfectly-penned name. That’s the code we came up with for documents that need to be read with high urgency. Chevalier likes his papers to be ordered by importance, both outgoing and incoming, and as I leaf through the rest I see he’s arranged the next one to Sariel, followed by Jin, and then to various nobles and ministers back at the capitol.
I sometimes wonder, if I wasn’t Chevalier’s shadow, could my letters top his piles?
My skin prickles with envy. He isn’t even the king, so why must everything be under his thumb? The land, the people, and now the words. Why not let these papers be picked up by autumn winds, like the golden leaves of the oak, with no drive or direction other than away from here? Embarking on a journey unknown, a glorious adventure beyond the confines of their pages, full of twists and turns and loop de loops never before scrivened by man. In the infinite realms of possibility, there exists a universe where they all land exactly where intended. But equally likely, they also may end up at the most inopportune destination.
I spread the envelopes like a hand of cards toward the Obsidianite border, a gentle wind growing from behind.
It’s really not so different from Rhodolite. We each have rocks and grass and bushes. Storms hound us both, the rising sun does not discriminate, and we both settle at night under the same starry blanket sky. This little sample of land shows even more, with our matching fortresses and battle posts, and there’s a high hilltop mirroring our own. It even has its own matching oak tree, though while mine still brims with flittering leaves of reds and browns, theirs stands thin and bare. So bare, it is impossible to miss the dark figure seated on the top branch.
Frostbite stabbing my thighs jumpstarts my senses, and I manage to hook my leg onto a knot in the trunk before the shock sends me tumbling down. I hug the letters and straighten my shoulders, looking back at my tree twin. How long has he been there? Has he been watching me? There’s quite a bit of foliage surrounding me. Does he even know I'm here?
I tentatively stretch my free leg, both to see if he’d respond and to encourage blood flow in case I need to make a hasty exit. A minute passes with nothing, but as soon as I start to lower my leg, a shadowy appendage protrudes from the figure.
So he can see me.
I raise my arm. This time the figure waves back almost instantly. Could I interpret that as neighborly? I don’t want to raise my voice in case Chevalier investigates. Instead I shrug my shoulders and wag my head from side to side. My neck is still sore from Chevalier’s little “rebuttal” earlier, but I hope the message is still understandable.
What do you want?
Another unresponsive minute goes by before the figure raises both arms. The first points a finger at me. The second beckons in his direction.
I look over my shoulder as though I expect someone else to be there. This can’t be serious, is he asking me to cross the border? The Obsidianite border? When we are at the cusp of war? Does this guy even know who I am?
I don’t have the time to conjure a reply before I hear my name called from below.
“Well met, Prince Clavis!”
So much for that last question. And for keeping Chevalier in the dark.
I scan my surroundings and locate a horseman at the base of the hill, waving a scarlet flag with a rose up at me. The postman has arrived.
For the first time on this trip, apart from the daily workouts, my palms pool with sweat. But this is a different kind of perspiration. Chevalier could pop out any minute, and my head whirs with what to say back to the stranger across the border before he does. Er—sign. Sorry, now’s not a good time? I’ll think about it? Can we talk later?
Do I even want to continue this conversation? I jerk my head back toward Obsidian, but the branch is just as bare as the rest of the tree.
“Is everything alright, my prince?” the postman calls, turning the direction I’m facing. “Is something happening across the border?”
“No, no. Everything’s fit as a fiddle! Just watching the sunrise,” I say, fumbling out of the tree. No light emerges from the tent, and I quickly poke my head in to confirm Chevalier’s sleeping form settled in a chair by his desk of maps. He lets out a long snore, and I let out a long sigh of relief.
After a slow descent of the hillside (I will not fall for the same fault twice in a row), the postman and I greet each other and exchange our stacks.
“I am very glad I ran into you, Prince Clavis!” His voice is cheery, despite the fact that he no doubt traveled the entire night. He isn’t originally from the capitol, I have everyone’s names and faces memorized there, but the flag he bears is reserved only for envoys from the royal palace. He looks about my age, with modest build and eyes not yet marred by the horrors of the battlefield. If I was to hazard a guess, I would say this is his first mission this close to the border.
“You are glad?” I ask.
“Indeed! I was instructed to hand-deliver those letters to Prince Chevalier. I feared it would be a great impertinence on my part to address His Highness personally, so I attempted to leave the letters with the general. However I was shocked to hear that you two were not staying at the fort! I was told your location was classified, but I really wanted to make sure I completed my first delivery. I never would have imagined royalty sleeping in a tent mid-autumn, of all places!”
Called it, but all I say is, “You and I both, lad.”
“But this could not be more perfect! I can trust you to pass these off to Prince Chevalier, then? Master Sariel said it is extremely important that he reads his letter as soon as humanly possible.”
I see now. This could not be more perfect because he ran into Chevalier’s middle man instead of the man himself. I stretch my cheeks into that wide grin and give him a polite nod. The boy looks pleased with himself as he bows and marches to his horse, and I take advantage of his turned back to drop my smile and peek at who’s top-pile today.
The deep purple seal pops in the faint light of dawn, rays sliding up and down the swerving curves of the embossed serpent like ethereal liquid, but it is the text on the other side of the envelope that locks my attention. Chevalier’s full name is elegantly printed in bold black. Below it, scripted in an equally flawless hand, are two roses.
My breath catches in my throat as I grip the paper tighter. The ink on the petals is slightly smudged, as though it was handed off seconds after drawn. Never before have I seen two roses, neither sent nor received, and the thought of what news they bear freezes the blood in my veins even quicker than the weather. Are we officially at war with Obsidian? Was a meeting held while we were away? Has Jade or Benitoite made a move, too? Or is it something domestic? Have the people finally started to revolt against this endless back and forth? Has something happened to the king? Has something happened to my brothers?
That last thought drives a final icicle through my chest. My eyesight blurs and my legs start to give way, but both are locked back in place as something large is shoved into my arms. It is still too dark to make out what it is, but I immediately register the residual heat it dissipates.
“And here’s the final package!” the boy says. I blink several times before I can make out the shape of the wooden crate. It is about the size of my torso, light as a practice sword, and feels like a tiny oven pressed against my chest. “It’s the other extremely important cargo piece.” He ends with a wink, mounts his horse, and departs before I have the chance to ask anything else.
My first instinct is there’s something alive in there, and I slowly lower the crate to the ground to not startle (or infuriate) it. It may be asleep, but there are no abrupt movements as I observe the box from all angles. If whatever it is was alive, it is highly suspect that it could survive the trip from the palace with only three tiny breathing holes. And the soury-sweet smell wafting out from them could not belong to a carcass.
There is no identification on the box, and I pull out the stack of letters again to solve this mystery. Sariel’s letter deadpans me with a scowl, almost like its author would, and I shuffle it to the bottom. It won’t make a difference if Chevalier reads it right this second or after I’ve figured out what’s in this crate. Each successive letter is from some general or marquess or duke, no doubt begging Chevalier for some fatuous favor because none are marked with roses, and I nearly resolve to just prying the crate open myself when a glint of pale pink catches my eye.
I grasp the final envelope in both hands and hold it up to the steadily rising sun, but my eyes are not playing tricks as the delicate figure of a cat shines back.
Why would Yves write to Chevalier?
Again, no roses adorn this letter, but I pull out my pocket knife and carefully lift the seal from the paper. I can practically hear Sariel squalling at me through the mouth of the discarded purple serpent, but I ignore it. This is a matter between brothers. Sariel could never understand.
My heart pounds in my ears as I unfold the letter to reveal Yves’s gossamer script, and I press one palm against the side of my head to steady it as I read.
Gladdest tidings, Prince Chevalier.
Thank you ever so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to write to me. It brought me the greatest joy to receive your letter on my birthday, I could not stop myself from shaking with excitement upon reading it.
Shaking with fear sounds more like it. That answers why Yves sent this, but drops a new more important question: Why did Chevalier send Yves a letter? Surely not just to wish him a happy birthday.
While your sentiments are more than enough, I truly wished you and Prince Clavis could have been present for the celebration. It was a small affair, as usual, but it was a welcome respite from the turbulence of the court since your departure. I am sorry to say our people are not pleased that your two-day inspection of the citadel has turned into a month-long station at the border, and many nobles are demanding your return to the palace posthaste. They fear your decision to remain may anger Obsidian and incite retaliation, but they only speak their minds so freely knowing you are so far away. I have no doubt you will have received letters from them asking for your return, but I beseech your understanding of their apprehension in your responses.
I scoff, the cooled breath materializing before me. Leave it to Yves to think the best of the people’s intentions, but he hasn’t read the novels of resentment Chevalier receives each week. And he hasn’t penned the curt, cold-blooded replies.
Then it hits me, Chevalier sent a letter to Yves that I didn’t write. The paper wrinkles as my grip tightens, and I have to squint to make out the next lines.
Ah, but I am getting off topic. I am sure you tire from talk of military and government, Sariel is currently drafting a lengthy report to you on both as I write this, so I shall make this as brief as I can.
It will please you to hear that despite the political climate, the seasonal climate has been rather generous. The harvest has been bountiful this year, and while the people’s spirits are not at their highest, their bellies are full and they are thankful. It took some help from the other princes, but we even managed to prepare the extra set of treats you requested. I must admit, I worried I would not be able to bake and pack the lot in time for the post. I had wanted the delivery to arrive as fresh as possible, and it was only with their assistance that we prevailed. Even with their pilfering hands snatching ingredients left and right, I ask that you thank them as well when you sit down to enjoy the sweets.
The tart aroma hits my nostrils again, and I have to hold back from clawing the sides of the crate apart. I limit myself to prying off two boards from the top, and am rewarded with a waft of warmth and a cornucopia of baked goodies. My mouth waters as I stick my face through the opening, letting the heat and the smell envelope my senses.
Home. It really is a piece of home right in front of me. So close I can touch it, smell it, taste it… but I hold off on the last one for now. What if Chevalier sent a specific numbered order? I pull my head out and rest my chin on the top as I read the last part.
And speaking of the others, it will also please you to hear that they are all well. Prince Leon and Prince Jin have placated the citizens for now, and while it is fortunate they are a team of two, I fear their efforts will not last much longer. I have spotted Prince Nokto speaking to nobles as well, and despite his age he harbors a magnetic quality that calms even the tensest of brows. Prince Licht and I have been handling paperwork in the background, and we have learned much about our kingdom and its operations in the process.
Furthermore, I know you did not ask, but father is in good health as well. Though he seldom leaves his room these days and only speaks with Sariel. I fear his spirits are lowest of all.
I have a little space left on this page, so please allow me to use it to ask of my brother. You mentioned he has not taken well to the extended stay, I hope he is at least keeping himself entertained. Even with the disquiet of complaints, the halls never felt so still in his absence. But I believe he can keep up with you, we all do.
Lastly, I do hope you are both keeping warm. The previous postman reported the weather is much colder near the mountains where you are. It was a bout of good fortune Prince Jin managed to hand you your sweater before you left, was it not? But as you said, a decorated mantle does nothing to light the hearth, so please enjoy the treats while they are still hot.
Take care of one another, and I pray for your safe return before the first winter snow.
Yves Kloss
The hand reaching for the crate is automatic. It takes a couple chews before I realize I have bitten into an apple strudel. It takes a few more before I realize I am crying.
Hot tears stream down my cheeks and smudge Yves’s words as I hug them and the pastry to my chest. Weeks… months… years of what I could never put into words rock my body as I scream into the crate.
I don’t want to go to war. I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again. I don’t want to keep hurting myself climbing to catch Chevalier, because I know I will never make it. I just want to go home. Home where these treats were made. Home where these treats were shared. Home where these treats never fathomed a life outside their oven.
The sun is mostly up when the final cries exit my system. My body weighs like it ran to the palace and back, and I cannot even raise an arm to shield myself from the blinding rays or the chilling winds of early morning. The only thing I can do is bury my face in the collar of my sweater. Chevalier’s sweater.
Chevalier’s sweater is warm.
I wrap my fingers around the half-eaten strudel. It is warm, too.
Warm, like Yves’s hands when he pulls them out of the oven. Warm, like Licht’s cheeks as he stands tip-toed at the edge of the table and watches his brother set them down. Warm, like Nokto’s hugs when he ambushes his brother from behind, both in thanks and in distraction. Warm, like Jin’s ears as he swipes the top pastry and it disappears into his mouth. Warm, like Leon’s laughter as he prepares to pacify the situation.
Warm, like Sariel’s gaze as he watches the scene unfold. Warm, like my mother’s kisses that linger to this day. Warm, like Chevalier’s…
A sharp crack turns my attention back up the hill. The top of the tent rips and flutters in the breeze, waiting for me to patch it up again. Chevalier must be cold.
Pain throbs in my wrist. I peel the wax off my hand. I look back and forth between the citadel and the hill. Then between the border and the sun. I have many paths before me, and a good four hours left.
I stuff the rest of the pastry in my cheeks and collect the letters, careful to reseal Yves’s the way it was and return Sariel’s to the top. I grab the crate under one arm and start back up the hill. It is a long climb, yes, but one I know I can make.
*Nudges Yves* Get in there, Evie! You're the hero of this story! And uh, you can just stay where you are, Gilbert.
Tagging:@atelieredux @queengiuliettafirstlady @violettduchess @venulus
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names, most surnames (2)
Allow me to apologize again for this partial list of names in the library, titles available on request…
amis, acker kathy, ackroyd peter, abbey edward, aldiss brian, alcott louisa, m. anonymous, aldiss brian editor, ackroyd peter, allende isabel, acker kathy, adair gilbert, adams richard, asimov isaac, alcott louisa m., austen jane, azhayev vasili, asimov isaac, austen jane, ableman paul, amis martin, atwood marga,ret adams richard, abish walter, burroughs edgar rice, benn melissa, butler samuel, blyton enid, beckett samuel, beckett samuel, blyton enid, billington rachel, burnford. sheila, burroughs edgar r,ice bentley phyllis, burney francis, burroughs edgar rice, burroughs edgar rice, compton-burnett ivy, bryant arthur, burchard johann, bryant arthur, brame charlotte, bryant arthur, boll heinrich, buckeridge ant,hony boston l.m., buchan john, brightwen mrs illustrated by f carruthers gold, bronte charlotte, bradbury ray, banks lynne reid, barr pat, betto fre,i baxter stephen, banks iain, bronte charlotte, bryant arthur, banks iain m illustrated by nick day, bradbury malcolm, bell adrian, ballantyne r,.m. balzac honore de, benson e.f, barth richard, barrie j.m, bainbridge beryl, bronte emily, ballard j.g, bronte charl,otte borden mary, black lionel , bellow saul, introduced b,y j. michael walton wilde oscar, salgado gamini, ready stuart, besier rudolf, salgado gamini, euripides, euripides, williams t,ennessee sophocles, ionesco. eugene, ibsen henrick, marillier chri,stabel jonson ben, bennett alan, ionesco eugene, brenton. howard, stoppard tom, pinter harold, aristophanes, arnold mathew, daisenberger j.a., stoppard tom, eliot t.s., creeley rob,ert chaucer geoffrey - edited by walter w. skeat, cronin a. j., carr j. l., cooper edmu,nd colette, chevalier tracy, cosse laurence, christopher joh,n chatwin bruce, collingwood h, cather willa, cattieuchlan, crane stephen, calvino italo, collier eric, cela camilo c,ela crichton micheal, carpino f. brancaccio di, comrie margaret s., chabon michael, crofts freeman wills, carre john le, crace jim, michael co,x and r. a. gilbert cheever john, cardetti raphael, coolidge clark, chevallier gabr,ial coxe harmon george, cronin a. j., cheyney peter, conway hugh, cullum ridgwell, christian catherine, crace jim, crace jim, dickens charles, dickens charles, dunn nell, defoe dani,el bernheim emmanuele, doctorow e.l., chesterton g. k., donleavy j.p., bronte charlotte, duggan alfred, delany samuel r. - petaja emil, durrell gerald, dallek robert, dickens charles, dickens charles, dalby richard ed,. dickens charles, chang jung, delacorta, dickens ch,arles dickens charles, conan-doyle arthur, du maurier daphne, dostoyevsky f.m, durrant valentine, durrant valentine, donoso jose, delillo don, delillo don, defoe daniel, defoe daniel, duke neville, colette, camus albert, cheever john, egan frank, eastwood helen, england barry, duke of windsor, eden emily, egan greg, edwardson ake, franken rose, fowles john, frzer douglas, fielding henry, frankau gilbert, featherstone don,ald fyson j.g., fitzgerald f. scott, fyfield francis, fletcher h.l.v., ford madox ford, fuentes carlos, fuentes carlos, fossum karin, fielding henry, fielding henry, fox gardner f., forester c.s., flaubert gustave, forsyth frederick, fitchett w.h., faulkner willi,am gallico paul, garfeld leon, galsworthy john, gaskin catherine, goldring douglas, greene graham, fletcher j. s., goldsmith olive,r grey zane, faulkner william, grisham john, greene graham, green f.l., delany samuel r, fenn george manville, gide andre, grimwood jon courtenay , gordimer nadine, grisham john, greene graham, greene graham, grass gunter, galsworthy john, gray malcolm, gou xiaolu, goldsmith oliver, greene graham, harsch rick, hill weldon, hall radclyffe, hibbert christopher, hanley james, hemingway ernest, hardy thomas, horvath odon von, conan-doyle arthu,r scott-giles c.w., kollings ken, herbert a.p., houellebecq m,ichel hawes james, holt anne, hopkins r. thurston, huxley aldous, hawkins paula, holwell william, indridason arnaldur, inoue yasushi, ishiguro kazuo, houellebecq michel, hesse hermann, hemingway erne,st hamilton peter f., howard cecil, hyland ann, jewett sara,h orne - with a preface by willa cather joinville & villehardouin, jelinek elfriede, james m. r., jonke gert, moyle j.b. (translator) - justinian, johns capt. w.e., jerome jerome k, jenkins elizabet,h jenkins elizabeth, james m. r., kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kerr j. lennox, kipling rudyard, kilvert rev francis, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kent nora, kipling rudyard, king stephen, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, khadra yasmina, khadra yasmina, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, lovell ann, koontz dean, lucas-philli,ps c.e. kafka franz, leyner marx, linklater eric, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kennard mrs. edward, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, kipling rudyard, leskov nikolai, leyner mark, lewis norman, carre john le, lee laurie, kilver francis - edited william plover, leyner mark, laver james, lear edward, lever charles, laing e.t., carre john le, longmate norma,n lane jane, lewycka marina, baker margaret, llwelyn davis w,eeks forestier-walker and bor wenstrom o. edmund and harlock walter e., rensschler eric, st. claire byrne muriel, day mabel (edited by), linklater eric, linklater eric, linklater eric, martel yann, lewis c. s., lee laurie, longford elizabeth, lewis c. s., mason a.e.w, maupassant guy de, maclean alistair, masters john, reich-ranicki marcel, melwood mary, mathews basil, mackenzie fait,h compton maxwell w. b., macleod m kathleen, mcwilliam candia, mee arthur, marquez gabriel garcia mendoza plinio apuleyo, maurois andre, maclean alistair, mankowitz wolf, masefield john, marryat captain, macnamara brinsley, morris william, murdoch iris, mandelstam. osip, morris william, murdoch iris, mustoe anne, morris william, morris william, bradbury ray, gifford barry, miller henry, maturin charles, millet lydia, mitchison naomi, michener james, mcewan ian, miln lousie, jordan mitford mary russell, menglong feng, munthe. alex, moran lord, nicholl charles, new yorker the editors, oppenheim e.phillips, o'neill jamie, oppenheim e.phillips, nin anais, nairne a, hughes-pa,rry j. powell anthony, ponsonby d.a., price anthony, pangborn edgar, pollard velma, priestley j.b, barry n. malzberg & bill pronzini, powell anthony, nabokov vladimir, porter sheena, peacock thomas love, pratchett terry ian ,stewart and jack cohen powell anthony, percy w. s., needham violet, raymond diana, russo richard, rice margery spring, rabelais, reed thom,as baines russ joanna, remarque erich maria, pearson hesketh, rezzori gregor v,on rolfe fr- frederick baron corvo, sayers dorothy l. sayers (translator), renault mary, raphael frede,ric phillips adam, robertson e.arnot, pavic milorad, robinson heath, rendell ruth, read miss, robinson heath, rice elmer, rackham arthur, rutley c. bernard, renault mary, steinbeck joh,n smith alexander mccall, spyris johanna, sabatini rafael, spalding francis, stables gordon, camus albert, sinclair upton, stowe harriet b,eecher shem samuel, sienkiewicz henryk, swift jonathan, samuel maurice, scott sir walter, scott paul, stowe harriet beecher, scott sir walter, skinner john, sterne laurence, sewell anna, stevenson d.,e. sitwell edith, strang herbert, surtees r. s., sidney sir phi,llip stout william, sigurdardottir yrsa, solzhenitsyn alexander, scott sir walter, stephenson neil, self will, styron william, scott sir walte,r scott sir walter, scott sir walter, slavicsek bill, sebold alice, smith f seymour, slaughter frank, seth vkram, trollope jo,anna henry fielding, trevelyan g. m., thelwell normal, trevor elleston, thompson flora, thompson flora, tey josephine, tyler j.e.a., tutton diana, tuchman barbara, tolkien j.r.r, duke of windso,r wheatley dennis, wilkinson gerald, wells h.g, rawnsley c,.f. and wright robert white patrick, winchester simon, waugh evelyn, wodehouse p.g,. walsh j. m., welles orson, wood mrs henry, wren p.c, waugh auberon, white. t. h., white t. h., westo kjell, webster jason, wain john, quin b. g., westall rob,ert white t.h, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, westerfield sc,ott wodehouse p.g, zweig stefan, wodehouse p.g, urquhart r.e., wyndham john, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, waugh evelyn, wallace edgar, vine barbara, white patrick, virgil, vesaas tarjei, varesi valerio, vine barbara, updike john, young francis brett, vaizey george, wilde oscar, verne jules, wheatley dennis, updike john, markham mrs, vine barbara, vine barbara, kilvert rev francis, kilvert rev francis, new towns act 1946 -, leyser henrietta, perry anderson malcolm bull jan breman rob lucas david simpson rachel malik alexander zevin marco d'eramo, shaw george bernard, shaw george bernard, shakespeare william, shaw george bernard, shakespeare william, shaw george bernard, shaw bernard, shakespeare william, shaw bernard, shakespeare w,illiam shaw george bernard, shaw bernard, shaw george bernard, shaw george bernard, shaw bernard, sturgess keith (edited), euripides, matsumoto ,seicho lewis naomi, lang andrew, goethe, aristop,hanes pevsner nicholas, alvarez a., de la mare walter, larkin phillip, townsend sue, kyd thomas, euripides, lawrence d,. h. anderson w.e.k., marvell andrew, allan c.f., de la mare ,walter illustrated by edward ardizzone mitchell tony, plath sylvia, hobbs jack and hobbs margaret, spender stephen, whittier john greenleaf, millay edna st. vincent, bridges robert, steakley james , arkell reginald, thompson francis, arkell reginald, townsend sue, stamp l. dudley, keats john, farmer john s. , gollancz sir isr,ael and day mabel and serjeantson mary s hood thomas, milton john, walsh michae,l (editor) barkow al, british sociological association, burgess tyrrell, bentley michael, braudel fernand, de botton alain, ardrey robert, barrow r. h., bennett joan, aylward j. d., albert marvin h., alford violet, ali ayaan hirsi, cookson mrs. nesfield, cecil david, cudlipp hugh, conway gregory j., ccta, beard patten, clarke mike, deighton k, doyle clare, cottrell leonard, the ecologist, ellis chri, furmston m.p. and simpson a.w.b, elton lord, arellano ro,bert williams reese, brandys kazimierz, rich adrienne, lee laurie, khorsandi shappi, midgley mary, blackburn robin , butler samuel, butler samuel, burroughs william s, brooke nichlas, d.s.pugh d.j.hi,ckman c.r.hinings moliere, hamilton ronald, hill christopher, hackforth-jones g,ilbert hartley john, hervey h.e., kynaston david, herrmann paul, gregory otto, clay a.j. mackenzie, gombrick e.h. and kris k, kingsmill hugh, lloyd christopher, jarvns matt, labour party research department, jacob e. f., krake ken, longmate norman, golding louis, jackson major ,donovan james philip, lethbridge t. c., liechti elaine, ladurie emmanue,l le roy morris desmond, malina f.j, p.m., mundy, john h. carroll noel , middleton john , perniola mario, maxton james, paz octavio, menzies gavin, plaskitt harold and jrdan percy, woodward c. vann, rowntree b.seebohm and lavers g.r., weill herman n., wellman paul i, victor weybrigh,t and henry blackman sell scruton roger, smith j.c., taylor g. rattray, the times, thompson james westfall, taylor arthur, kulke hermann and rothermund dietmar, thomas mary, diamond jared, bacigalupi paolo, johnston william r., woods william, woodward sir llewellyn, shaw josephine, williams christopher, sidebotham helen m., williamson james a., tuchman barbara, smith wm. dr. (on the plan of), tafuri manfredo, bussi michel, rose richard , rawlinson george, rayner robert m., tisserand robert, ibsen henrick, ackroyd peter, powys t. f., sansom william, byatt a.s., bertrand a. and guillaumin a., bryant arthur, palgrave francis t., trewin j.c, morton a. l., mathews hazel, c. johnson a. h., gregory e. w., brogan d.w, tuchman bar,bara howard elizabeth jane, howard elizabeth jane, kerr philip , burton mauric,e borman tracy, kumar manjit, bryant arthur, moers ellen, simpson jacqueline, longmate norman, leasor james, piggott derek, lewycka marina, duncan f. martin and duncan l.t., armstrong karen, rankin nicholas, catton eleanor, harrison harry and stover leon e., prose francine, jacob naomi, lovell terry, webb marion st.john, sheppard elizabeth sara, dickinson g. lowes, king laurie r, hawthorne james, levy yank, ley wilfre,d rooke kelman janet harvey and rev theodore wood, agar winifred and others, blom eric, house rich,ard field robert, van loon hendrick, hayward gallery, eitlinger l.d. a,nd holloway r.g. fougasse and mccullough, davison philip, turnbull agnes sligh, harrison sidney, ashley maurice, oakeshott w. ewart, steingarten jeffrey, linna vaino, brecht bertholt, benni stefano, winbolt s. e., plumb j. h., bryson bill, prebble john, knight margeret, quarrie bruce, spry constance, squires patricia, smith ali, hadley tes,sa eng tan twan, virno paolo, wilson sloan, campbell alan, cumming charles, pedly robin, clegg alec and megson barbara, holt john, laurie peter, motley john lothrop, beumarchais repertoire general du theatre francais, de la mare walter. mackenzie compton. farjeon elea,nor lord dunsany blackwood algernon etc... betz, bjork samuel, campbell alan, archer thomas ,and amelia hutchinson stirling dollimore jonathan and sinfield alan, deegan denise, holdsworth r.v., durband alan, douglas lloyd c., ash william, dyer gillian and baehr helen, lindop audrey erskine, percival maciver, bellamy h.s., robbe-grillet alain, frith henry, barnett richard, bumpus t. francis, bartholomews, harrow school, martin george, hayward gallery, ducros louis, defrates joan,na ali tariq, lowry malcom (edited by harver briet and margerie bonner lowry), colour, robinso,n francis benton dr micheal j., rankin robert, leonard. jonathan norton, edey maitland a., trippet frank, norton-taylor duncan, hamblin dora jane, edey maitland a., hicks jim, knauth. percy, dancona p and aeschlimann e, urwin e.c., joyce graham, leslie doris, oakeshott w. ewart, department of scial, and administrative studies oxford university grossman vasily, sinclair andrew, quennell marjorie and c.h.b, smith alexander mccall, crispen edmund, kipling rudyard, oscar wilde mervyn peake, proust marcel illustrated, by phillipe julian proust marcel, chesterton g. k., kipling rudyard, ardrey robert, pakenham elizabeth, bradford ernle, kohn george childs, mcmahon katherine, introduced by j. michael walton, allegro j.m., leakey richard e. lewin roger, sobel dava, lancaster john, ferguson neil, westlake mike, proust marcel ,illustrated by phillipe julian euripides, corvo frederick baron, ambler eric (editor), peacock thomas love, hamilton edward, schiller eric, rabelais, barnes ju,lian manchetter jean-patrick, indridason arnaldur, macculloch j.a., holwe w.v. and p,ountney m.t. burnell r.d., symons julian, kipling rudyard and balestier wolcott, farmer bernard j., macaulay rose, fisher h.a.l., winston richard, eliot george, cairncross alec, disraeli benjamin, litvinoff emanuel, cotterell arthur , peynet raymond, mitchison naomi , trevelyan g. m., ibsen henrick, euripides, thayer george, white patrick, froissart, muir anne ross, acton lord, fisher h.a.l., innes arthur d,. innes hammond, acton lord, trevelyan g. m., stein gertrude, minister of health and the secretary of state for scotland, royal commission on local government in england, committee on the management of local government, committee on the management of local government, committee on the management of local government, soros george, ullman james ramsey, girls own paper, girls own paper, fowles john and horvat frank, moore gerald, whyte william, h. taylor a. j.p., whitelock dorothy, zdenek marilee, valentine c. w., walker kenneth, thompson e. p., ward barbara and dubos rene, wedgewood c.v., robertson alec and stevens denis, ackroyd peter, aira cesar, aira cesar, skinner paul , johnson samuel, drinkwater john, wilson daniel h, stross charles, ackroyd peter, hoeg peter, aylett stev,e oman carola, jelinek elfriede, rohan zina, roberts ada,m vandermeer jeff, vandermeer jeff, vandermeer jeff, miske karim, russell sarah, naipal v.s., carrington neil. brodies notes, freeman anthony, corvo frederick baron, aylett steve, lovegrove james, baudouin charles, green miranda, gilliland alan, gll anton, hendy phil,lip kunstler junger, toulouse-lautrec henri (t.w. earp and g.w. stonier (translated into english by).), jefferson alan, richardson joy, lyons lewis, mathews john and mathews caitlin, pratchett terry, pratchett terry ,and baxter stephen robbe-grillet alain, west paul, pratchett terry and briggs stephen, mccaffery juliet, robert marcel and parmeggiani luigi - ilo-, storr vernon f., pratchett terry, mann philip, morris mary and o'conner larry , pratchett terry and baxter stephen, mcphee john, kightly char,les reeves compton, picard gilbert charles(editor), strong roy, clifton-tay,lor alex rupp gordon, tullii marci, goldsmith oliver, pinnow hermann, millington mal, atwood margaret, dickens charles, sterne laurence, everyman, caeser caius julius, wells h.g, kempis tho,mas a wynne pamela, pepys samuel, sterne laurence, scott sir walter, balzac honore de, jones edmund d., du maurier daphne, hutchinson lucy, weyman stanley j., browning robert, shakespeare william, chesterton cecil, stevenson r.l, trollope anthony, conan-doyle arthur, osborne charles, bresson robert, chalres pictet de geneva, lambourne nigel and renoir, parker steve, thomas graham stuart, watkin david, hill ian, hlasko ma,rek lee harper, kureishi hanif, boyle t. coraghessan, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, gombrowicz witold, montergueil g., liu ken, robbe-grillet alain, banks iain, hobb robin, murphy derv,la gooch steve, dallek robert, giordano mario, tourtellot arth,ur bernon mcewan ian, orton joe, stoppard tom, stoppard tom, dorfman ariel, clifforfd leech, gerlech lynne, mishima. yukio, kurkov andrey, sante luc, robbe-grillet alain, heinlein robert, shute nevil, benacquista tonino, carofiglio gianrico, powers richard, steer john, johnson b.s., edgeworth maria, lowry malcolm, lowry malcolm, willis roy , le queux william, committee on the ,management of local government delillo don, perry sarah, expenditure committee (trade and industry sub-committee), pratchett terry, jencks charles, ewing julia horatia, vandermeer jeff, carpentier alejo, acker kathy, sudjic deyan, lindsey martin, reitz deneys, tolkien j.r.r, tolkien j.r.r, tolkien j.r.r, tolkien j.r.r, tolkien j.r.r, tolkien j.r.r, eggers dave, yurick sol, emecheta buchi, bryson bill, bryson bill, smollet tobi,as kapitanial thomas, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, wodehouse p.g, stengers isabelle, browning. robert, walbank f. alan (,ed1ted and arranged by) roberts adam, kipling rudyard, ruskin john,
ellis john, hinton michael, chamoiseau patrick, martinez guillermo, willis connie, nemirovsky irene, rhys jean, joyce james, delillo don, mantel hilary, parker k. j., parker k. j., parker k. j., wilhelm richard, topol jachym, perez-reverte arturo, mcevoy j.p. and zarat,e oscar atwood margaret, sloterdijk peter, unit for research on the urban environment, perry steve, anderson kevin j, zahn timothy, hambly barbara, massey d, tucker paul hayes, anderson kevin j., smith p. robert, semprun jorge, crace jim, reynolds ingrid and nicholson charles, reynolds ingrid and nicholson charles bell ann, carre john le, grossman lev, tallis frank, hornby nick, tallis frank, newberry linda, coelho paulo, bryson bill, harris joann,e bond terance james, hopkins gerard manley, haviaras stratis, hoban russell, benson peter, pears iain, gray robert, wiggins todd, price richard, perez-reverte arturo, hoeg peter, flaubert gu,stave ivan illich irving k zola john mcknight, runyon damon, frei max, chaponnie,re paul fischer tibor, reynolds alastair, asher neal, vallois g. ,n. morton h.v., kalweit holger, gibbons stanley, brookmyre christ,opher holt anne, hemingway ernest, surtees r. s., reeves-stevens, judith and garfield kipling rudyard, gane chriss and sarson trish, hodgson joan, saadawi ahmed, barnes julian, hadley tessa, pratchett terry and baxter stephen, hijuelos oscar, johnson kenneth and lsbeth marguerite, phillips jayne anne, aylett steve, kube-mcdowell, michael p. tyers kathy, daley brian, wolverton dave, allen roger mac,bride mcintyre vonda, anderson kevin j, smith l. neil, zahn timothy, zahn timothy, zahn timothy, hamilton peter f., wells h.g, waugh evelyn, hughes roberts, earnshaw brian, confucius alfre,dd doeblin bates h.e, leuchenburg william e., gibson william, gibson william, twining william and miers david, terence morris and angus stewart, tolkien j.r.r, stewart. mary, corvo frederick baron, aldiss brian editor, perez-reverte arturo, king ronald, harris sam, harris sam, harris sam and hawaz maajid, klein richard, nabokov vladimir, lowell robert, euripides, harris sam, maugham w.somerset, pynchon thomas, nabokov vladimir, chand meira, jardine lisa, jardine lisa, reynolds alaistair, sartre jean-paul, gifford barry, de teran lisa st aubin, lanchester john, chen da, kafka franz, frei max, lefebrve noemi, mcewan ian, gray john, gray john, clowes daniel, foucault miche,l gray john, kant immanuel, ferrante elena, chambers becky, levy roger, claudel phillippe, dick philip k, wray j. jackso,n pratchett terry and baxter stephen, chambers becky, fiske john and hartley john, hebdige dick, maitland f.w., dick philip k, butler samuel, butler samuel, butler samuel, murdoch iris, murdoch iris, murdoch iris, pratchett terry and baxter stephen, glass rodge, de chirico george, hornby nick, lethem jonathan, coetzee j. m., millar martin, stallman richa,rd m. parrinder patrick, gombrowicz witold, hornby nick, hornby nick, gee maggie, dixey anne, hawes james, maconie 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valentino chance wolf dan davis, jim valentino chance wolf dan davis, mckillip patricia a., du maurier daphne, elgin suzanne haden, de teran lisa st aub,in collingwood r. g., winterson jeanette, carmody isobelle, perry steve, egan doris, moorcock michael, gaiman neil, gilden mel, larry niven jerry pounelle micheal flynn, eddings david, cooper louise, weaver micheal, claremont chris, hamilton laurell k., kepler lars, nothomb amel,ie staig laurence, wood anthony, murrary linda, kaveney roz di,tor plato, cumming elizabeth and kaplan wendy, reiss johanna, glover jonatha,n goodman nelson, plato, carmody isobelle, wilson robert cha,rles wilson robert charles, wilson robert charles, johnson george, kepler lars, brookmyre christopher, jordan robert, kinsella sophie, jewell lisa, parent gail, gibson williams, kinsella sophie, carofiglio gianr,ico hesse hermann, nesbo jo, duane diane, higginson wi,lliam j. ferguson margaret. salter mary jo. stallworthy jon, evanovich janet, evanovich janet, 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(edited by), rankin robert, rankin robert, mccaffery anne, evanovich janet, mccaffery anne, yoshimto ray - clamp nanase ohkawa, brookmyre christopher, allen roger macbride, pratchett terry, anderson kevin j. (edited by), connolly joseph, cherryh c.j., cadigan pat, mccaffery anne, divakaruni chit,ra banerjee zappa moon unit, vernadsky vladimir i, mackesy serena, waterhose keith, hines barry, golding william, keenan joe, ironside vi,rginia cullimore claudine, kawabata yasunari, motter dean and lark michael, mccaffery anne, mccaffery anne, mccaffery anne, packard vance, moore gerald, furey maggie, furey maggie, mccaffery anne, duane diane, gaiman neil, brown dan, furey maggie, lindsay dougl,as scott-giles c. w., modesitt jr l. e., bronte charlotte, murdoch iris, streatfield noel, leiris michel, bronte emily, williams ursu,la moray ecke wolfgang, pratchett terry, mclean lenny, edwards-jones, imogen nesser hakan, mcintyre vonda, fisk nicholas, evanovich jane,t tey josephine, robbe-grillet alain, aeschylus, baudrillar,d jean baudrillard jean, pagels heinz r., sen amartya, sen amartya, caputo john d., rossini, corey james a., holt tom, kube-mcdowell michael p., sweterlitsch tom, wolfe tom, 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eastland sam, kadare ismail, hertzberg max, grancsay stephen v., mcintyre vonda, kafka franz, piketty thomas, greene harris, butcher jim, ordnance survey, brodie bernard and fawn, kornbluth c. m., bull emma, seigel martin, imlah mick, thomas edward, maclean alista,ir de giovanni maurizio, banks iain m, banks iain m, banks iain, corey james a., corey james a., carver raymond, mason paul, reynolds alaistair, lagercrantz david, lagercrantz david, shakespeare willia,m brooks rosetta , brooks rosetta , grant richard, scudder bernar,d (translator) bull emma, eliot george, kadrey richard, lowry malcolm, de la motte anders, aaronovitch ben (cartmel williamson renne), dick lesley, herbert fran,k setterfield diane, lyall gavin, carr caleb, mcintyre vo,nda groening matt, groening matt, dark horse comics, groening matt, greene graham, gunn kirsty, klein rachel, bussi michel, wiltshire professor patricia, collins bridget, ford ford madox, bishop micheal, brandao ignazio de loyola, kube-mcdowell 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gonzale,z forrest richard, delany samuel r., cadigan pat, damasio anto,nio damasio antonio, ackroyd peter, evans i. o. (editor), mcdevitt jack, van vogt a.e, stross charles, hamilton edward, pratchett terry, herbert frank, appia adolphe, king laurie r, brown eric, clifton mark and riley frank, mordern s. j., russell eric frank, kuttner henry, robson justina, tchaikovsky adrian, robson justina, mattelart armand and michelle delcourt xavier, dick philip k, cherryh c.j., pohl frederick and kornbluth c. m., graeber david, graeber david, robin blackburn, stiegler bernard, stiegler bernard and derrida jacques, llansol maria gabriela, benkler yochai, robinson kim stanley, anderson poul, jeter k. w., king lily, moorcock michael , leon donna, silverberg ,robert pratt tim, mcarthur maxine, moorcock michael , stephenson neil, carver jeffrey a., van vogt a.e, wollheim donald a. (editor), simenon georges, clarke arthur, mossman keith, okuda michea, and denise, gibson william, daly mary, sterling bruce , rankin ian, evans peter, j. coleman gabriella, edmund spencer, edmund spencer, patrick hamilit,on alexander moszkowski, jane austen, alexander moszkowski, christine brooke rose, helmuth plessner, zubrowsky
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