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obexes · 10 months

Text

CATALYSIS

R.C x READER • R.G x Reader

A/N- This was 100% self indulgent, Most of this isn't Canon, and in this "AU" Roman Godfrey is Rafe Cameron's younger cousin. Anyway If you read this I hope you like it, any feed back is appreciated! Also this is gonna be a 5 part series!

Warnings - Swearing, Underage Drinking, Sexual Themes

Summary- When Roman refuses to acknowledge readers blooming feelings for him & the moments they shared, his cousin Rafe is there to remind her that she deserves better.

Word Count- 5.5k

You're chilling on your couch, trying desperately to ignore your phone buzzing and focus on the movie you're watching. Granted it's a friday night and around 7 pm, so you couldn't really blame your cousin Kie for blowing up your phone. Giving in, you pluck it off of the coffee table.

Kiara: bitch, kelce is throwing a party

Kiara: me & nicky are coming to get you

Kiara: 15 min ;) get ur ass up!

You'd already ignored her previous texts asking what you were up to, choosing to sulk in the solitude of your family's villa. Your parents had taken another trip to Mexico and had taken your 10 and 6 year old siblings, leaving you and your brother Dominique (or Nicky, as you all affectionately called him) under the care of a couple of your fathers security guards and your housekeeper, Giselle.

Nicky and Kie had been trying to get you to a party since summer started a few weeks ago. Normally you'd tag along but ever since Kie and Sarah stopped being friends a couple months before summer started, it kind of ruined the dynamic of a once close and spirited group of friends.

You blow a breath of air out through your nose, throw the light blanket off of your lap and make your way into the hallway. Giselle smiles at you as you pass the kitchen and you smile back with a small wave. Upstairs in your room, you pause to give yourself a twice over in your vanity's mirror. You were blessed in that you got your moms naturally curly hair and your dads bright eyes and smooth tanned skin. Deciding that makeup was not a necessity at the moment, you open up your closet doors and step inside.

Being a kook came with its perks, you had to admit your closet was to die for and was one of the only reasons you truly enjoyed your parents' lifestyles. You sift and end up deciding on a white skims bodysuit, and dark jean shorts. You change as quickly as you can and grab a pair of white boots to slip on.

No sooner than you've slipped on the last shoe, do you hear the obnoxious custom horn of your brother's Chevy. You practically sprint back to your vanity and grab your purse, carelessly throwing a lip gloss, your phone and other random shit inside before running down the stairs.

"Bye Giselle, I'll be home later!", and with that you're on your way out of the door, selectively ignoring her calls for you to not be home too late. On the porch, one of your fathers men greets you from where he stands guard. They try to be subtle but your parents are a bit ostentatious about their business in Mexico. All of the security and the watchful eyes makes it difficult to be a normal teenager sometimes.

Your brother and Kie are parked in the centre of the long circular driveway, and you hop in. "Hey guys.”, throwing your bag down next to you and buckling your seatbelt.

"Y/N! Hey!" Kie beams at you, "I feel like it's been forever since you've gone out with us.”

Nicky scoffs and puts the car in drive, peeling out of the driveway. "That's because it has been since you and Sarah got into your stupid fight. We haven't been to a party together since summer started.”

You laugh along quietly, agreeing that the fight currently going on between the two girls is pretty stupid. It's always been your family, with the extension of Kiara, and the Camerons, with the extension of Sarah's cousin, Roman. Rafe and Nicky were both 17, while you, Kie, Sarah, and Roman were all either 16 or going to be this year. Your families vacationed together for years, every holiday is celebrated in one of your families expensive backyards, Ward and your father even conduct business together. So it's safe to say, nobody expected Kie and Sarah's little fight to go on this long.

"Shut up. Don't even get me started. Sarah is a fucking bitch." Kiara huffs and puts her feet up on the dash, while pulling a bottle of Titos from under her seat, "Kook party, take a shot Y/N."

Taking the bottle from her extended hand you gulp a good amount before sputtering a little and handing it back.”Fuckin vodka,” You choke out in between small coughs.

You would never admit it but you were a little nervous about going to Kelce's house after skipping out on parties for so long and it wasn't because of Kie and Sarahs drama. You were avoiding a certain kook prince, but you were nervous about him catching on, and admittedly you missed him, so when Kie invited you you thought fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?

You guys sang along to Rihanna and talked shit about some of your classmates on the 10 or so minute drive. Pulling onto the designated street, there were cars everywhere and music could be heard playing loudly from Kelce's backyard. Kie looks at you and Nicky out of the corner of her eye, "I may or may not have invited the pogues..."

"Kie!" you both yell at the same time. Nicky huffs in his seat as he pulls into an open spot by the treeline, "Nothing could go wrong at all, great idea." he says sarcastically.

"What? They're my friends, I thought it could be fun."

You and your older brother were friendly with Kie’s friends, but you knew that JJ had a penchant for fighting. And with Rafe and his friends being the way that they are, it doesn't always go well when they party together.

"Fuck it, we're already here. Can we just have fun? Please." The last thing you want is more drama, your first night back out. She smiles at you and you guys hop out and make your way onto the lawn. You link your arm with Kiaras and walk into the crowded party with Nicky trailing behind you. Kie drags you towards the kitchen as you pass classmates, tourons, and pogues. Nobody cares about all the classist shit when they're drunk apparently. It was always fucking stupid to you, anyways.

When the two of you make it to the large kitchen, you find Rafe, Topper, Kelce, Roman, Barry and his brother Peter. as well as a multitude of cocaine, girls, and random kids playing bartender to their friends.

You watch as Rafe gives one of the girls you recognize as a soon-to-be junior a bump and you watch as his eyes scan the growing presence in the room, noticing you. "Ayo! Y/N, Kie! Whaddup?"

Kie simply gives him a sarcastic smile and walks over to one of the kids in her volunteer group, who's currently making some legitimate looking drinks. You raise an eyebrow making a mental note to ask him to make you one. "Hey guys, what's up?". You warily eye the drugs carelessly spread out on the counter as you approach the guys. Roman looks up from his phone and catches your eye, you give a shy smile as he rushes you.

"Where the fuck have you been, Y/N/N? You abandoned me." He clutches his chest playfully before lifting you to sit on the counter and smirking down at you. You and Roman have always had a great relationship, albeit a bit closer than most normal friends, but he's someone you would consider a best friend. As of a few weeks ago he was your first kiss, although he was unaware of that detail, after a very emotional night of talking shit about your parents while drinking their wine on their yacht. When Rafe and Nicky nearly caught you both making out, Roman acted like nothing happened. So you did too.

"I've been around, Godfrey."

He smiles and pecks your forehead before turning around to go get you a drink. "Well," He drags out the word, "we have some catching up to do, kid."

Kelce gives you a fist bump on the way out of the kitchen and Topper just gives you a head nod. "Where's Nicky?"

You look towards the doorway you entered from and shrug, "He was right behind us, he probably met a girl or something." Topper hums in response.

Barry whistles, “That's what I need to be doin, really.” Peter nods along. “Whatchu doin’ later, Y/N/N?”

You start to laugh just as Rafe loudly and distastefully snorts a line and groans. You wrinkle your nose as he tips his head back, relishing in his high. "Jesus Christ, Rafe”.

"You want some, Pretty Girl?"

You’re staring at him like he grew another head when Roman places a red solo cup in your hand. Kie, with her own drink in hand hops up on the counter next to you, "If you ever give my cousin that shit, i'll fucking hurt you."

"Y/N's a good girl, she wouldn't do that. Wouldn't wanna disappoint daddy dearest." Topper teases and Rafe barks out a laugh. There's a familiar pang in your chest at the mention of your father and you roll your eyes. This doesn't go unnoticed by Roman. "Leave her alone, man.” then his hands are on your knees, "Wanna go kick ass in some pong?". He looks at you and you nod, downing the drink you'd been sipping slowly, " I'm down, but first let's do some shots."

Two and a half hours later, with three successful games of beer pong under your belt and feeling quite significantly drunk, you make your way back inside to pee. Navigating your way through the crowded house and up the stairs you enter the bathroom and lock the door.

While you pee, you drunkenly think about how crazy it is that everyone was getting along tonight. Seeing Rafe and JJ on the same pong team threw you for a fucking loop, even if they were both extremely wasted. You also kind of wish you had a blunt or something.

After you wash your hands, check yourself out in the mirror and fluff your hair a bit, you stumble towards the door and into the hallway. None other than Roman is standing at the door to your left making out with a pretty blonde, fumbling with the doorknob of the door he has her pressed against. Furrowing your eyebrows and quickly making your way past them, you try to ignore the hurt bubbling in your chest. "I think that one's locked, genius." You say of Kelce's grandmother's room, that he usually always locks when there's guests over. You don't bother looking back at them.

Deciding you need fresh air, you find yourself out on the front porch which is a lot less packed than the backyard. You sit on the steps and watch a group of freshman boys prepare to light a huge firework on the lawn. The warm summer breeze felt nice, despite how dark it had gotten. You pull your phone out of your bag and look at the time. 11:37 PM. You look up when you hear a sizzling type of noise to see the firework, sitting up and it's been lit. The boys are backing up and smacking each other on the arms as they hype themselves up for the explosion. It makes you smile but at the last second it tips over and your smile drops. The firework shoots and explodes directly at Rafe Camerons truck, shattering the front passenger window and from what you can see the side mirror all over the seat and the ground.

They're fucked, and its time to go. There's no way you're dealing with Rafe potentially blaming you for not watching his car. You stand up and grimace as they start freaking out, and people are already making their way outside to see what happened. You walk back up the steps and call your brother from the porch to let him know you're ready to go but there's no answer. You're about to call him again when someone taps your shoulder.

"Hey Y/N.." You whip around and see Sarah standing in the doorway with a bottle of tequila. She holds it up so you put your phone away and grab it.

"Hey, Sar. Having fun?" You take a couple huge gulps and regret it almost instantly, when it burns the ever loving fuck out of your throat.

"It'd be more fun if everyone wasn't pissed at me." She smiles sadly. She knows she messed up by not inviting Kie to her birthday party. "I know I’m kind of a mess lately."

You both laugh. "Well for what it's worth, I'm not mad at you. I do think you and Kiara should talk though."

"That'd be easier to do if she didn't glare at me everytime we make eye contact but I deserve it, so I'm gonna try anyway. I really miss you guys." She says the last part so quietly while averting her gaze to the floor. You can't help pulling her into a soft hug. “I miss you too, Sar. Kie’s stubborn ass probably does too.”

You recap the bottle and hand it to her, trying to empathise. Kiara was your family, and you guys were close, but you all grew up together and you were close with Sarah too. It was such a stupid fight but the underlying issue was serious to both of them. You give her a small smile.

"So are you leaving soon or something?"

"That was the plan but Dominique did not answer his phone and I don't feel like looking for him."

She nods her head and behind her you see Roman walking down the stairs without his blonde friend, and you drunkenly attempt to duck out of sight of the doorway. You don't feel like seeing him again right now. This little crush you'd been secretly harbouring was not something the group needed, on top of the drama with the girls right now. "Well, if you wanna take my car, you can. I'm probably gonna have to force Rafe to take me home." Sarah continues, oblivious to your train of thought.

Roman appears behind her, having seen you try to hide behind the wall to the side of Sarah. "Y/N cant drive, she doesn't have a licence. And shes fucked up. I'll take her."

You internally cringe at your transparency, "It's fine, really Rome. I can go find Nicky or Kie or someone, seriously." Your words are slightly slurred and you can see that fact register in his eyes.

"Nope," He pops his P and puts an arm around your shoulder to guide you towards the steps. “C'mon, kid."

"Bye guys, Roman be careful!" Sarah calls before dipping back inside, you look back at her helplessly. Fuck. Of course this would happen. Roman's hand grazes your elbow as he guides you down the steps But stops in his tracks when he notices the group gathered around Rafe's truck.

"Hold on love, sit down here." You let him help you sit and stare up at the sky. Roman pulls out his phone and calls Rafe while he berates the group of boys. When Rafe barrels outside with bloodlust very apparent in his energy, you're reminded of just why you didn't want to be here when he saw his truck.

He's screaming at the poor kids and threatening to beat two of the taller kids' asses, by the time Roman comes back for you. He walks with you down the driveway to his black SUV and opens the door for you. Once you take a seat he's manoeuvring the seatbelt over you and clicking it in. "I'm not that drunk Rome, I can buckle myself in." But you let him.

He walks around the car and hops in, pushing the start engine button. "My uncles gonna be so fucking mad." He chuckles.

"It was an accident, I saw it tilt over. I wonder where they even found a firework that big?" you mumble, watching Rafe run his hands over his reddened face in frustration through the window as Roman pulls out of the driveway.

"Idiots."

You push the bluetooth button on his stereo system and connect your phone, looking for something to fill the silence. You settle on Weightless by Chiiild and roll your window down, enjoying the breeze and singing along.

Nights like this you come home with a heavy heart for me

Nights like this an endless kiss is all you really need

Roman glances at you quickly and he sighs almost indecipherably. "Y/N, what's up?"

You hum and look over at him, admiring the wispy strands of hair that fall over his forehead slightly and the perpetual pout on his face. "Nothing, I'm fine. Kinda want a slushie."

He fights his smile as he peeks at you again, "We can get you one but that's not what I'm talking about. You've been like... sad or something lately. Kinda distant."

That's what happens when you like someone who will never like you back, you think to yourself as you avert your gaze to your hands. The agitation you felt seeing him with someone else is slowly creeping back up on you. Usually it was fleeting, you knew that Roman would mess with girls at parties but it never went beyond the night. You found a strange comfort in the fact that he’d been and probably would be one of your closest friends forever. You’d never lose him that way.

You wrack your brain for something to say, "It's just... my parents being gone again, sucks. I'm not sad. I'm just here." Is what you settle on. It's not a total lie.

A frown forms between his eyebrows and he takes his right hand off the wheel to place it on your knee, catching you off guard. You can tell he doesn't completely believe you but his touch erupts a swarm of butterflies in your belly and you draw your knees closer together instinctually. He slows the car to a near stop and pulls into a gas station that's thankfully, still open.

Parking right at the front of the building, he takes his seat belt off and turns his head to look at you. "You know you can tell me anything right?" He gives your knee a small squeeze.

"I know Rome. Doesn't mean I will though." You smirk at him a little and without thinking you reach up and push his hair back so it's off of his forehead. He catches your wrist gently before you can retreat your hand and brings it up to his mouth where he presses a kiss to your palm.

"You comin?" He asks, you pout and shake your head. "What flavour do you want, mm?"

"Green apple, please."

He gives you a little mock salute and gets out of the car, heading inside.

In the quiet of the car you get a little lost in thought. How are you supposed to keep up this little unspoken secret with Roman, when he knows you so well? He knows you too well to believe your bullshit when you claim you're fine. And lately that's been a lot. When you guys kissed, you assumed it was fueled by teenage hormones, too much to drink, and overall poor decision making. But now it seems more like he just felt bad for you while, for you, it was a genuine first experience. It's not everyday you admit that your picture perfect life isn't so picture perfect.

You'd been home alone, yet again, sitting on one of the small couches on your fathers yacht when he showed up, pissed at his mom. You two ended up criss-cross applesauce across from each other, passing a bottle of wine back and forth, just absolutely bitching about your parents. He told you how his mom was a psychotic alcoholic, obsessed with having control (which you sort of already knew) and you'd told him how your parents were hardly ever home lately, leaving you and Nicky to your own devices. You missed your parents constantly and you felt abandoned. It hurt, and he understood you.

Tears were pooling in your eyes by the time you finished venting when Roman gently cupped your face in his hand. "Hey, don't cry, Y/N. They may not be here right now but I am, I'll always be here. I promise you. Okay?" He stroked your cheek with his thumb as you stared back into his hazy green eyes, your breath catching in your throat. Roman was always sweet to you, but never in such an intimate way. You glanced down at his lips, which he noticed. He never planned on kissing you, yet he couldn't help himself as he leaned in and delicately pressed his lips to yours, testing the waters. The kiss left you breathless and when you pulled apart he pressed his forehead against yours. "Was that... okay?"

You nodded wordlessly, a little bit in shock. Part of you was screaming that you were crossing a line, and part of you was mesmerised by the feeling of someone else's lips on yours for the first time. Roman sighed in relief and kissed you again, harder this time, more fervent. He unknowingly taught you how to make out. You'd tried something with your tongue and he'd made a noise in the back of his throat that was so enthralling you'd do anything to hear it again. Too, soon you heard the telltale engine of Rafe's truck and you broke apart, albeit awkwardly. He never brought it up, so you never brought it up.

The sound of the car door opening interrupts your thoughts, you didn't even see Roman exit the store, too lost in thought. He holds out a cup full of frozen green ice and you take it with a smile. "For the princess."

"Thanks Ro."

He sets a bag of swishers on the floor by your feet as you remove the lid on your drink and use the bottom of your straw to scoop the slushie up and into your mouth. He puts the car in reverse and backs up.

Continuing the short drive to your house, you sing along to whatever song shuffle picked.

When he pulls into your yard and shuts off the car, he turns to you. "Hey, is it cool if I stay over? My moms being a bitch right now."

"You know you can, I don't know why you're asking." You speak through a mouth full of slush while simultaneously unbuckling your seat belt. He mutters something about manners and snatches the bag off of the floor.

You walk up to the porch and Alex, another one of your dads goons, gives you a look as he unlocks the door for you. "What?" You ask when you get to the last step.

"Nothing..." He avoids looking directly at you or Roman. "... just feel like your dad wouldn't appreciate me letting a boy in this late."

"Well good thing hes never fucking here, huh?" you huff as you brush past him to go inside. Roman follows you silently. You turn the entryway light on, just as Alex shuts the door behind you and Roman. "Who the fuck does that guy think he is?"

You glance at Roman as you head to the kitchen, "He's such a dick rider, but he won't actually say anything to my dad."

"But he's just, like security right? Why does he care."

You shrug as you approach the kitchen doorway. Just then the bedroom door next to you opens, and Giselle peeks her head out, eyes wide and red. "Y/N!" and then she sees Roman behind you and squeals. "Roman!! How was the party you guys?"

Roman shoots her a dazzling smile and goes to hug her. "Hey Giz." She slaps his arm. "Stop calling me that, you jerk. Its disgusting."

"The party was fine." you scrunch your nose a bit, "Giselle are you high, right now?"

Romans head whips up, "Holy shit. You look blasted!" He laughs. She has a bashful look on her face as she backs up into her bedroom. "Shut up, both of you. Bring me some water please, thanks." She shuts the door before either of you can say anything. You both giggle at her behaviour and stumble into the kitchen where Roman puts the rest of your slushee in the refrigerator. You get three glasses out of the cupboard and fill them with water from the fridge, Roman delivers Giselle her glass before coming to stand across from you against the counter. He downs his glass in one go and watches you sip yours.

"That's so hot, you really take your time with it, huh?" He teases.

You laugh quietly against your glass. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Only if you let me pick. I'm not watching Clueless again." He deadpans. "Fine."

He gives you a smug look and you take his glass and place them both in the sink. He grabs you by the hip in one hand and a tupperware full of cookies that Giselle must have made in the other and pushes you towards the stairs.

When you get to your room you immediately go for an oversized shirt and sleep shorts. "Do you want me to get you some of Nicky's shorts?" He knows you hate outside clothes on your bed.

"Nah, s'cool." He pulls his shirt over head and winks at you, sending a flush of heat up your neck to your cheeks. You've seen him shirtless countless times, but only recently have you begun wondering what his abs would feel like against your skin. His hands go for his belt and you turn towards your ensuite bathroom muttering about how extra he is. After you change, you brush your teeth and wash your face, thinking about what you and Roman could do tomorrow.

When you open the door, you smell two things - weed and sugar cookies. Roman is standing in just his boxers, in front of your television looking for a film to watch, eating a cookie with a blunt tucked behind his ear. You can't help the small laugh that escapes you, your heart swells at the sight of the boy you adore.

He turns when he hears you. "I rolled a blunt, and we're watching Barbarian." He says, finishing his cookie.

You smooth down your hair and sit on your bed. "This is why you're my favourite. Wanna open the door?" Gesturing towards the balcony doors. He does so and lights the tip of the blunt using the flame of a candle that's sitting by the window. He places an ashtray on the bedside table and sits next to you on the bed so you're shoulder to shoulder. You play the movie and take the blunt when he offers it.

You pass it back and forth and when you refuse it after your third hit, he puts it out and wraps his arms around you leaning back so you're both laying propped up against all of your pillows.

"So what the fuck, shes just gonna sleep in the house with this creepy ass dude?"

"I would too, he's hot."

"Seriously?"

You tilt your head slightly, "Wait, no, you guys could actually be twins." You look between the character on screen and Roman. "That's so weird! He's like an older version of you."

He raises an eyebrow with a shit eating grin. "So youre saying I'm hot?"

"This is why I don't compliment you anymore."

The movie slowly got eerier until it was straight up terrifying. You hid your face in Romans chest, multiple times, and at some point began drifting off into a dreamless sleep. Roman glances at you as your breathing evens out, smiling to himself at the sight of you falling asleep against him. He turned your tv off and buried his face in your hair, sighing contentedly as he got comfortable and allowed himself to sleep. Feeling safe.

You went to sleep peacefully, comfortably but your morning has been anything but.

Your parents got home a day earlier than expected, arriving at about 7 am. Your mom decided to come wake you, as they stopped and brought breakfast, but she was not expecting to find you tangled up in bed with your basically naked best friend. She proceeded to freak out, waking up Giselle and Nicky in the process.

There's so many reasons why this is a nightmare. For starters, your father has barred you from boys. He would prevent you from dating forever if he could. He's very adamant about his only daughter remaining virtuous and focusing on getting into Columbia rather than boys. And to make matters worse he actually likes Roman. Not to mention your mom has been friends with Romans mom since their sorority days, and lastly your parents didn't know that you smoke weed...until today.

That brings you to the family room where you've been arguing with your mom for 30 minutes, while your dad sits in an armchair subtly giving Roman dirty looks and occasionally pinching the bridge of his nose. And Roman, well, Roman is sitting on the couch with a hand in his hair staring dejectedly at the ground, genuinely upset that he was the cause of your family drama today.

“Mom! I said It wasn't like that. Roman drove me home. We were watching a movie and fell asleep.”

“Y/N, this isn't just about the fact that I found Roman in there. This is about rules being broken and secrets being kept!” Your mother bites back.

Your dad stands up from his chair and crosses his arms, "And since when the fuck do either of you smoke weed? And in the house, Y/N, you smoked it in your room." He runs a hand over his face, " I don't understand why you would do this."

“That was actually me. I- uh. I mean it was mine.” Your parents gape at Roman.

“Roman, I think it's best if you head home, your mother will be expecting you.” Your dad states, wanting to get you alone so he can pry you for information without making the situation more uncomfortable. You sit down at the couch and bury your head in your hands, mortified. “I'll talk to you about this another time.”

Roman stands quickly and goes to give you a hug but the look on your dads face has him stuttering instead, “I'm so sorry, about all of this and especially the weed, but shes telling the truth.” He looks at you and back to your parents, “Um - I'm gonna go now.”

“Bye Rome.” You whisper, he gives you one last sheepish look before he's out of the door. “Y/N, I'm so disappointed.” Your dad starts. The words make something inside you ache. "I’m only gonna ask you this once, are you fooling around with Roman?”

“No! Dad, oh my god.” You shout and stop to take a deep breath. “He's my best friend, he sees me as like a sister or like Sarah, dad, you know that.” He lets out a heavy sigh. He knows what your friendship with every boy in your circle is like. Hes made it abundantly clear that you're off limits.

Your mother shakes her head at you and you roll your eyes at her. She sometimes overreacts when you get in trouble, being the only girl, she holds you to a higher standard than your brothers. “You're grounded. For a month.” Your mouth drops open but when your dad tilts his head, you know, he'll be talking to her about inflicting such a harsh punishment later.

“Dad! What the hell! Are you going to say anything?”

“Listen, I believe you about Roman, but honey,” he tsks, “There's rules. You were smoking weed in your room and you had a boy sleeping in your bed when we got home.”

“Yeah well, It's not like you're ever here anymore to enforce those rules.” Your dads face softens. “Y/N-” You stand up abruptly.

“I'm going to my room, I accept my punishment.” you say as you beeline out of the room. They let you go, thankfully.

As you pass the kitchen you see Giselle, Nicky, and your younger siblings, Henley and Patton, all eating breakfast silently, having heard the argument. Everyone but Nicky casts you a glance as you walk past. Great, you think, he's probably pissed at me too. You run up the stairs and shut your door a little harder than necessary.

It's around dinner time when you look up from your toes, that you're currently painting baby pink. Your phone is buzzing on your bed and you reach up, hand fumbling around until you feel it.

Romeo: what's the damage?

You immediately text him back, glad he's not upset with you.

Y/N/N: Im grounded for a month, you?

Romeo: A month???

Fuck, thats brutal. Im sorry.

She called me an idiot among other things, nothing serious

Y/N/N: I'm sorry too, that was so stupid

You see him start to type, and then stop. After two minutes of watching the screen you groan and throw your phone onto a pile of clothes across the room. As you are about to finish painting your toes, there's a gentle knock on your bedroom door and it cracks open before you can respond.

Your mom pokes her head inside,”Honey, can I come in.”

You shrug in response, picking your nail polish back up. She comes inside and shuts the door. Sitting across from you on your plush pink rug. “Listen, the way that I handled the situation earlier... I'm sorry. I could have handled it better.” You peek up at her, letting her know you're listening but still upset. “I think it's just scary - for me and your dad. To see our little girl growing up. Being a parent is hard, baby, and we have four of you... but I might have overreacted a bit. I'm sorry that we haven't been around very much. There's been bad business going on in Mexico. But that's for us to worry about, we absolutely will try to be home more. I promise.”

You give her a small smile, “Okay mom.”

She smiles brightly back at you, ”We’re okay?”With arms out silently asking for a hug. You embrace her and she squeezes you tightly. “Oh, and you aren’t grounded -”.

You squeal, rocking you both back and forth.

“- But I swear to baby Jesus, child, If I ever find a boy or weed in here again, I'm locking you in the cellar.”

“Deal.”

She kisses you atop your head and stands up to go,” Dinners gonna be ready in 15.” “Kay,” You're already up, going for your phone.

Y/N/N: Im ungrounded

Roman responds right away this time

Romeo: Can you come to Tanneyhill with Nicky?

After eating dinner and a lot of convincing, you and Nicky pull up to Tanneyhill with a bottle of Crown, he swiped from the cellar. It turns out he wasn't actually mad at all. He told you that he knew Roman didn't see you like that and that our parents were mistaken. Verbatim. Which, honestly kind of stung but you'd take that over him being pissed. Roman was one of his best friends too, after all.

When you guys get to the backyard, everyones in the hot tub. Only Topper, Roman, Rafe, Sarah, and a couple of other girls from school are here. Topper and Rafe are clearly tipsy already, as they're belting the lyrics to some party song that's playing over the big speakers. Roman whispers something in Mia Brown's ear and you can't help the fleeting jealousy that washes over you as she bats her eyes at him and laughs.

“Y/N/N! Come get in.” Sarah whoops when she sees you. He looks over at you with a smile as you and Nicky approach.

“Hey guys.” you say as you set your bag down on a lounge chair and go to take your shorts off.

“Brought the good shit,” Your brother passes the bottle to Rafe who has his arm outstretched. “Thats what the fuck I'm talkin about, bro.”.

After you undress, Rafe offers you his hand to help you step inside the hot tub, your brother following. One girl, whose name you don't remember, gives you a once over from your place between Nicky and Rafe. “So Y/N,” she starts, and you nod, ”We’re talking about midsummers. It's the best time to pop out with your boo before school starts. Who’s your date?”

At that everyone looks at you. Nicky laughs, ”She isn't gonna have a date, are you kidding? My dad would lose his fucking mind.”

“Shut up, I can do whatever I want.”

He scoffs, “No, you can't.”

The girl just smirks and moves so she's sitting next to your brother instead of Topper.

You roll your eyes. “Whatever, Nicky. At least I’m not a suck up.”

Rafe chuckles and holds his hand out for a high five, to which you smile and oblige. He taps your chin “Open up.”

You allow him to pour not one, but two shots into your mouth.

A couple hours later and everyone is pretty fucked up. One of the girls went inside with Nicky an hour ago, Toppers passed out on a lounge chair while Roman, Mia, And Sarah, switched to the pool for a night swim. That leaves you and Rafe in the hot tub alone.

You glance over at the pool just as Roman plants a messy, drunken kiss on Mias lips. They start making out and you and Sarah let out identical groans, although yours is nearly silent. Rafe glances at you and follows your eyes to see what you're looking at and when he does, he smirks to himself.

Sarah pulls herself out of the pool. “Get a freaking room.”

Roman pulls away from the petite brunette in front of him. “That's a great idea. Mia, my room?”

Your heart rate picks up and you look away from the pair. You knew Roman messed around with girls, but you didn't expect him to ever be so casual about it around you, given the kiss you two shared. You think about this morning, how your parents embarrassed you to the point that he would probably never look at you in the way that you did him. As the trio head inside, you start to stand, wanting to lock yourself in a guest room and mope yourself to sleep.

“Hey, don't leave.” Rafe whines across from you. “I don't wanna stay out here alone, and it's only like 9. Want a shot?”

You absolutely want a shot. “Fuck, please.” You sit back down and watch as he leans his torso over the edge of the hot tub and swipes a bottle of vodka off of the bar top.

Turning back around he beckons you with a finger. “Come here, beautiful.”

It didn't surprise you to hear him call you this. Rafe has always been blatant like that. Not just with you, he has pet names on a constant loop, probably because he can never remember the names of the girls he messes with.

What shocks the shit out of you is when you’re directly in front of him waiting for him to pour a shot in your mouth but he sets the bottle down, grabs your thighs and pulls you onto his lap so you're straddling him in the warm water. You gasp, feeling him hard, against you.

You pull away slightly. “Rafe, what the fuck?”

He picks the bottle back up keeping you close to him with an arm around your back, hand resting between your shoulder blades. “Y/N/N, it's fine. Just gonna give you a shot, yeah?” He looks at you expectantly and in your stupor you just open your mouth. After one shot, he holds it back up so he can give you another. Grimacing at the taste you wipe your mouth while he takes two shots of his own.

Setting it back down out of the way, he rests his hand on your thigh, gripping it. “You look really fucking sexy right now, Y/N/N.” He admires your body on top of his with his piercing blue eyes and wets his bottom lip with his tongue.

You get this warm feeling in your belly, and then it spreads. No one had ever said that to your face before. “Yeah?” You giggle a bit when your words are slightly slurred. ”You always do too, Rafe.”

He raises his eyebrows,” Yeah? I didn't know you thought that”.

“I would've never told you unless it was under these exact circumstances, so...”

He mulls that over. “That's fair enough.” And then, “I heard you fucked Roman.”

You look at him incredulously and push yourself back, off of his lap completely, “What?”

He puts his hands up, “My bad, I was just gonna ask If it bothered you that hes fucking Mia right now, the same day.” Your jaw drops and you scoff as you feel your eyes start to fill up with hot tears.

“Youre so fucking rude. No, I didnt fuck him and no I dont care.” The thought of people gossiping about what happened, on the same day it happened, sends fear through your gut.

“Then why are you crying?” He points out as a single tear falls, your heart betraying your desire to keep your feelings at bay.

“Fuck you, Rafe.” You start to get out of the hot tub but this time he stands up and snatches you up, depositing you back on his lap. “Stop, I didn't say it to be mean, okay?” You push at him but you're nearly full on crying at this point and very tipsy. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I just meant that my cousin, is a fucking Idiot.”

You give up on getting out of his lap, sniffling and running a hand through your curls.

“It's not his fault, Rafe. Nothing even happened, my parents are just insane.” You meet his calm gaze with your tearful one. He brings one hand from around you to wipe under your eyes.

“That's not what I'm talking about, Y/N.” His hand finds your waist again and he leans back slightly to look at you, “I think he's an idiot for not seeing how special you are.”

“W- what?” You wrinkle your nose. You never thought you’d hear Rafe say something so... sweet to you.

“Roman told me what happened on your dads boat.”

Your heart jumps into your throat. “He did?” You whisper. Rafe nods slowly, studying you.

“What did he say?”

“Honestly, a bunch of bullshit. Y’know, he was just rambling about it ruining the group and shit. I honestly expected you two to get together, anyway. But like I said he’s an idiot. Doesnt know a good thing when he sees it. You deserve better.”

You examine Rafes face to see if this is just a mean joke, but you only find a genuine expression. Something more, in his eyes that you can't decipher. You sigh, deciding to just accept what he said. Roman clearly didn't care or didnt remember the kiss and wasn't going to acknowledge it anytime soon. So neither will you. Roman was inside probably fucking someone else, So maybe you will too.

You hesitantly drape your arms around his shoulders, “Show me better.” You whisper.

Rafes eyes widened slightly, as if he didn't expect you to agree with him, let alone say that. “I- Y/N, how? What do you want?”

You testingly grind yourself against him, rolling your hips down. And when you do it again, he moans at the feeling of you pressed against him. “Shit, baby.” Your mouth opens in a silent gasp as he returns one hand to the centre of your back to keep you close and uses the hand on your hip to move you against him again, harder. You don't even have time to process the fact that you’re basically dry humping your childhood friend in his hot tub before Rafe begins pushing you back and forth over his dick faster, both of you letting out the filthiest moans as he watches your face.

“Look at me baby.”

You look down at him, trying to control the feeling building up in your lower belly and he places a hand in your hair, pulling you to connect his mouth with yours. There are no similarities between the way he and Roman kiss. While Roman kissed you sweetly, and let you take it slow, Rafe dominated the kiss. It was all tongue and lip bites, while you mewled against him from the pressure of his clothed erection against your clit. This was by far the hottest thing you'd ever done with any boy.

He suddenly lets go of your hair, breaking away from the messy kiss. He glances down at the space between you and suddenly his thumb is rubbing circles against your clit and you’re crying out his name.

“Rafe! Fu- oh shit.” At this point you're digging your nails into his shoulder and rocking your hips against him, like a bitch in heat while he watches you in awe.

“Yeah, baby girl, you like that?” He sucks a hickey onto your neck and peppers it with soft kisses as he draws you closer to your release with his fingers and his mouth.

“Yes, please don't stop. Feels so good.” You can feel yourself hitting a pinnacle and you let out a strangled sound, and your stomach clenches as you try to contain your orgasm.

“Let go, give me all that stress, Y/N. Cum for me.”

His lust laden voice sends you over the edge and you drop your forehead onto his and let your eyes flutter shut as you cum in your bikini on top of Rafe, with raw moans spilling past your lips. He still rubs your clit and you feel your pussy fluttering around nothing while you come down from the most intense 15 seconds of your life.

When you open your eyes Rafes is already looking at you, lightly stroking your back. The eye contact makes you both grin and he breaks the quiet moment. “Was that.. your first time doing that?” You shake your head no, still trying to catch your breath. “Dont lie to me, Y/N.”

Smiling, you sit back a bit, “So what if it was? I told you I can do whatever I want.”

Rafe smirks at you. “Yes you can, princess.”, He stands up with you abruptly and carries you out of the water, towards the back door to the house while you laugh. “You're sleeping in my room with me tonight, gorgeous girl.”

#roman godfrey #dark!rafe cameron #roman godfrey smut #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe x reader #outer banks #obx netflix #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #series #roman godfrey x reader #jj maybank x reader #obexes #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron #au

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artemiseamoon · 2 years

Note

Hey gorgeous :)

Could you maybe write something with Ivar and Roman please? I kinda would be interested in them with being soulmates to a female reader....only if this would interest you?!

The Three of Us

Soulmate au | Modern Ivar x f reader x Roman Godfrey

Oh how I love this pairing and soulmate trope! Here you go @walkxthexmoon (thanks for your patience)

Words: 9,876 (holy crap officially my longest oneshot ever)

Warnings: some yelling and aggressive reactions, curing, mentions of sex/ sex life, sex scenes but I wouldn’t say smut like - i went a more poetic route, you’ll see, drinking

An: I do tend to write modern Ivar without his disability. This is not meant to offend anyone, or meant as erasure. It’s just my choice as a writer. So if this detail bothers you, I respect that but please move on to other works. We don’t need to argue or fuss about it. There are plenty of people who write modern Ivar with his disability. You’ll find many. Thank you 💕

Credits: some GIFs are mine, others are not. Credit to those creators.

Many little things made your life with Ivar and Roman special. Favorite places, songs, movies, sweaters, mugs - even Ivar’s camera. Ivar received a vintage camera for his birthday two years ago and ever since he took that thing everywhere.

The three of you have accumulated a collection of mini-movies. Your adventures and daily life caught on film. It was sweet. At first, Ivar didn’t let anyone touch his camera. Not that this mattered, Roman was always taking it anyway, breaking into Ivars photography room and putting everything back when he was done. It didn’t take Ivar long to catch on.

The two lived in one of the fanciest buildings in the downtown area. You nicknamed it ‘trust fund row’, it was where most of those kids lived, including the well off students of the nearby university and the mid-twenty to early 40-year-olds who had money to burn.

Both Ivar and Roman fit in this category. They came from money and have mothers who spoil them rotten. You’ve had to deal with their rich kid syndrome at times, but for the most part, Roman is the worst about it. Ivar, despite his family name and background, is the more down-to-earth of the two, but he has his moment too.

Even with the frustrations, and coming from different backgrounds, you loved them. Unlike the boys, you worked hard for what you had. Your family did okay, but you still needed a loan for college, thankfully, you got a scholarship too and it took some of the pressure off. You even worked the entirety of your college years at one of the popular cafes within walking distance of campus. It was how you met the guys during your freshman year.

While you made coffees, heated pasties, and in the evening hours served wine or beer, the boys were partying, still never lifting a finger for anything. College, like this luxury apartment you sit in right now, all paid for by their parents.

The first time you saw them, it was your 5th week of work. You were switched to the evening shift after someone called out. It was busy all day in that cafe, but at night even more so. It wasn’t as rowdy as a bar, since they didn’t serve hard liquor, but enough beer and wine can still have a very - noticeable effect on people.

Your boss was pretty strict about his ID policy, and since you weren’t 21 yet, you just served the drinks. Your supervisor kept a pretty close eye on you too, so sneaking drinks never happened at work.

With a full class schedule and a job, you didn’t have a lot of time for fun things. Even though you lived on campus. The most fun you had involved simpler yet fulfilling things like spending time with your friends, live shows, and things like that.

You didn’t know it at the time, but your life would change drastically when those two showed up that night. You were clearing empty glasses from a table when they walked by, you noticed them instantly and to your surprise, their eyes were on you too.

Everyone knew or heard stories about these two, Ivar and Roman, trouble makers, ladies men, party animals - you’ve heard quite a bit about them yourself and would spot them around campus from time to time.

The duo was, is, impossible to ignore. Tall, lean, well-dressed Roman who strolled into every room as if he owned it. He loved all the attention he got, he ate it all up. There were three kinds of girls on campus when it came to Roman, the ones he hooked up with and now hated his guts, the ones he hooked up with and though he never got serious with them, they keep coming back, and third the ones he hasn’t hooked up with, yet.

In contrast to Roman's golden boy looks, Ivar has more of a mysterious, dark, sultry vibe to him, he’s also stronger, and more muscular. Ivar is shorter than Romans 6’4, but not by much, just 4 inches. Both guys have chocolate brown hair and light eyes, but their eyes couldn't be any more different.

Ivar’s eyes you noticed first, something about them drew you in, you found yourself hypnotized by those enigmatic, breathtaking blue eyes. The sinister smirk he flashes at you from across the room didn’t help your racing heartbeat any.

Roman’s eyes are a beautiful green, like precious gems in the sunlight. Big chartreuse eyes that hold innocent almost puppy dog-like energy as easily as they hold desire and mystery. When you first saw Roman, his attractiveness aside, you also noticed his lips, his beautiful, full lips.

When the guys arrived, they went to the bar area which had the nighttime look now. You noticed the way the bartender, a senior, checks them out and you don’t blame her, the two of them were walking heartbreaks waiting to happen.

Throughout the night, you worked your section and went to the bar as needed, each time you and the guys stole a glance, each glance sent your pulse through the roof.

You never expected them to say anything, you had confidence, it wasn’t that. You just didn’t look like the type of girl the two usually had on their arm or hanging around, you were quite different. So an hour after they arrived, when the guys ended up moving to your section, it took you by surprise.

It was Roman who spoke first as both men observed you, you never felt more visible, more seen than under their hungry curious stares. As Roman spoke, Ivar leaned back in his chair, watching you. It felt like your skin was on fire, having just one of them look at you was exciting enough, but both?

When you returned with their drinks, Ivar finally spoke, in a very casual way, he asked what time you were getting off of work. And that’s how it started, the complicated, warm, exciting, streamy three-way (relationship?) you ended up in.

Late night drinks, all-day hangs, and crashing in each other's beds soon led to the friendship lines being blurred between you and both men. Any jealousy at the start, and it was there, was long gone by now.

As far as your heart was concerned, you loved them both, not that you were ready to admit it in the beginning. Falling for two playboys? Not you. But it happened, it happened fast.

As time went on, your longing for something more serious grew. Unofficially you had two boyfriends, but officially, all three of you were single and free to do as you choose. Though you never strayed outside of your little triple love nest, there was no reason to. Together, Ivar and Roman make your perfect guy.

…

Now, with college in your rear view mirrors, Ivar and Roman still living in their fancy apartment, the three of you continue your unconventional story. You share Ivar and Roman. They share with you. Amazingly, there was never an official conversation stating labels, it just happened. Somehow, even though it’s crazy, it mostly works- or has been minus some hiccups.

Your non-traditional relationship has hit its fair share of hiccups and issues lately, even though you love them dearly, it seems like more bad times than good. It’s been weighing heavily on your heart and making you question if this was right for you or if they were right for you .

This was the very thing that drove you to take the test . The one that’s been causing all the rage lately. You can still remember when you saw the commercial. You were sitting on the couch, snuggled between Ivar and Roman as when it came on.

- Flashback -

The person on Tv: No more guessing. No more dating apps. Find your soulmate today.

You don’t know why at the time, but you held your breath as you watched. You even noticed Roman, who perpetually had his phone in his hand look up and raise a brow. When your eyes drifted to Ivar, he was staring at the TV wearing that amused expression he gets.

You diverted your eyes before either guy could see how closely you were watching the commercial. You reach for your phone and look at a random message. When your eyes were downcast, you heard Roman comment.

“What the fuck? I bet that's just some scam to get ass.” He shakes his head, eyes going back to his phone, “could you imagine? You’re my soulmate, let’s fuck.” He snickers.

Ivar chuckles to your left, “do you think that thing works?”

“Dude, of course, it doesn't. There’s no such thing.” Roman replied.

Ivar shrugged and looked at you. You felt his eyes burning into you.

“What do you think, hmm? Maybe it is bullshit. Maybe it’s real.”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, pretending not to care.

“It’s bullshit, probably invented in the old days to get into a chic’s 10 layers of underwear,” Roman tossed his phone aside, and it landed on the cushion. With a yawn, he stretched his arms over his head, “I’m hungry. Let’s get food.”

- Flashback over -

You’ve become so lost in your thoughts, and the memory, that it takes you a moment to realize Ivar is recording you. Normally, you didn’t mind the camera, but right now, you feel too overwhelmed by it. Your mind is heavy with the test, the recent issues you’ve been having, and the last two times you tried to get a serious answer out of the guys about what this is.

Sure, it was fun for a long time just going with the flow. But as of late, you’ve been craving more stability, and hearing the words “were just having fun”, “don’t be so serious just enjoy it” or “we’re exploring” was no longer fun or exciting, it was depressing.

Returning to the present moment, you lower your head and take the camera from Ivar, turning it on him. “No, let me play director.”

“Oh come on, I was getting the good stuff. You were so - reflective…silent…” He grins.

“It’s your turn.” You grin back at him as you zoom in on his face, focusing on those beautiful blue eyes. Those magical eyes that still pull you in, still hypnotize you years later.

The sweet moment is short-lived. You think about the test again. You officially received the results last night, but you’ve been too terrified to read them. They sat in an envelope in your backpack. As for the digital version, you hid the app in a ‘don’t open’ folder on your phone and avoided the email account you used.

The guys didn’t know you took it. You’d have to tell them. You had to tell them before they found out.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you focus on Ivar again. He makes silly faces at the camera, it gives you a much-needed laugh. You savor this light moment and make faces back at Ivar.

In the background, you hear Roman rummaging through the room for something, followed by a clicking sound.

“Stupid shit, “ Roman curses under his breath, “I need a lighter. Mine is dead.”

“You know I hate when you smoke in here, both of you.” You wag a finger at Ivar who flashes his puppy dog eyes at you.

Yes, it was technically their apartment, but you spent so much time here, you lived here too. The 4 bedrooms were way too excessive for just two guys. In college, Ivar turned one room into his photography room and the remaining room was just used by friends or when Ivar’s brothers visited until you came along.

Ever since, that last room, in between Roman's room and Ivar’s has become yours. It’s personalized and everything. But you did try to split your time between here and your actual apartment. You worked hard to have a place of your own and weren't ready to give it up yet.

After keeping it to yourself when you all first started dating, you eventually grew more vocal about the smoking thing and the guys eventually agreed to smoke on the balcony outside only. Except when they were feeling rebellious.

Roman walks by the couch and imitates your words in your voice before stealing a quick kiss. You watch as he continues his search for a working lighter. Across from you, Ivar puts the camera down carefully and grabs your hand, “Come here.”

He pulls you closer. You sit next to him and rest your head on his strong broad shoulder. It feels nice. A much-needed comfort for the storm brewing inside of you.

You and Ivar sit in blissful silence as he wraps one arm around your body. You loved cuddling both of them, each guy has something special about his touch and the way he holds you.

The silence is soon cut by a cold feeling. You feel the air shift in the room as a rock sinks in your gut, nervousness suddenly washing over you. It’s not until Roman storms into the room, holding the envelope, do you know why you feel this way.

Roman throws the envelope down on the table before you. You flinch and sit up, and so does Ivar.

“What the shit is this?!” Roman barks, his green eyes burning with anger. He leans over the table, lays his hands flat on it, and stares at you dead on.

Confused, Ivar’s eyes move between you and Roman before he grabs the envelope himself. He looks at you once more before opening it.

Your heart sinks. You hold your breath.

“What the fuck is that!” Roman points at it, still yelling.

Your eyes jump from him to Ivar. Sweat beads on your forehead as anxiety washed over you. You know the answer, of course, you do , but it doesn’t meet your lips. You just look at Ivar, then Roman, then at the contents of the envelope as Ivar examines them.

Ignoring Roman for now, because his anger makes you freeze, you watch Ivar. He slowly shakes his head. When his eyes meet yours, they’re heavy with disappointment.

“I - “ you inch closer to Ivar as he waves the papers, anger seeps into his eyes, “I uh - “

Roman aggressively lights a cigarette and shoves it between his lips.

“Your name is on it. It’s yours,” he takes a long drag and looks at Ivar, “it's yours. Why do you have that?!”

You swallow and cross your arms defensively. You practiced this conversation in your mind a dozen times, but right now you can’t even form words.

Roman forces a laugh, “ I’ll tell you why, shes’ fucking leaving us!”

Ivar looks up at him. The loving soft expression from earlier is not gone, his face is cold, still, dark.

“Roman I didn’t - “

Ivar carefully places everything back inside the packet and places it in your lap, “did you do this?” He asks, but you know, he knows you did.

You stand, moving away from both of them. Feeling overwhelmed, you head to the balcony and slide the door open, a fresh breeze rolls in and hits your hot face.

“I was going to tell you guys, I just...you weren’t supposed to find that.”

Roman responds, Ivar is still silent, “I was just looking for a lighter. You always have candles and shit, I knew you had one somewhere.”

You press your lips together in a tight line, still watching them over your shoulder, your body facing the balcony. You take a deep breath, then turn to face them, “yes. I took the test. I was curious. And no, I wasn't leaving you, either of you, I just wanted to know.”

“So what are we then? Are you bored already?” Roman grows increasingly hostile by the second, his tone more aggressive.

You glance at Ivar who takes a cigarette from Roman's pack on the table. He doesn't say anything to you, doesn't even look at you, and that somehow hurts more than Romans yelling.

Ivar walks over to the balcony, right past you, and steps outside to smoke. His back is toward you now. He feels cold, so far away. You step back into the apartment and lower your head. This is bad, this is bad.

Behind you, Roman continues to go off. Each word from his lips increases your stress and anxiety.

“Ivar, “ Roman stands in front of you, his eyes locked on yours as you stare back at him, “I wonder what else we don’t know about her. Lies. Secrets - “

“Roman just, shut up!” You yell, surprising yourself. The room goes so still, that you could hear a pin drop. Ivar turns around.

Roman does a double-take before sitting on the couch. He continues to smoke, his eyes on you the whole time. The anger in his face starts to melt into something else, if you look close enough, you can see a small pout on his lips.

Pacing, you push through the tightening in your chest and speak up, “I asked you, both of you, what this was,” you move your finger between you and Roman then you and Ivar.

Ivar puts out his cigarette, walks past you, and sits on the couch next to Roman.

You continue, “I know we’ve been having fun but I never know if one day it's just going to end, or if one of you will decide you’re bored with me and move on. So yeah, I took the fucking soulmate test.”

Ivar shakes his head, not saying anything, Roman continues to smoke his cigarette. The tension in the room, mixed with cigarette smoke, is making you feel dizzy.

It could also be a panic attack.

You push the thought back and walk over to the table.

“You both never take me seriously when I ask. I have a right to ask what this is and if it's sustainable.”

Neither one responds, they just stare at you. Needing to get out of the apartment, you snatch the envelope and retrieve your backpack. You can hear Roman shout from the living room.

“Going to meet your soulmate now?”

Rolling your eyes, you pause and look at the envelope again. The name of the test is right on the cover. You look over the items Ivar reviewed and notice inside is a single sealed envelope. The results. Ivar didn’t open it.

Your heart is beating so fast now, it feels like you can’t breathe. You shove the envelope in your bag, grab your charger, and zip it up. Tossing the bag over one shoulder, you grab the jacket on the hook and head for the front door, passing the living room in the process.

“You gonna fuck him? Or will he have to wait?” Roman hisses.

You spin around and charge into the living room,

“You are an asshole!” You say through gritted teeth. ”We’ll talk about this later when you've calmed down.”

Roman stares at you. Ivar sits back and crosses his arms. For the first time, you don’t feel welcome here. You don’t even want to be here.

Turning around, you head to the door, open it, and leave. Letting it slam behind you.

….

This is the longest you’ve gone without talking to the boys, your boys. You didn’t text them, they didn’t text you. You haven’t stepped foot into your second home for 4 whole days, almost 5.

You miss them.

You’re also pissed at them.

You kick yourself for taking the test and regret doing so. At the same time, you don't regret it. Even in the face of the test, you still didn’t get an answer. They just - stared at you like angry children.

Is it wrong you don’t want to “go with the flow” your whole life? Is it wrong to want no one else involved in your special little relationship? Your questions are valid. Upset or not, hurt or not, if they couldn’t give you answers, maybe a little break is needed before any of this is discussed further. After leaving that apartment you shoved the envelope in a drawer and continued to ignore the app.

It’s Thursday night now.

After a couple of hours at the bar with the girls, your frustration leads you to the fancy apartment, three rounds of drinks coursing through your veins.

Standing in front of the door, you knocked a few times, but no one answers. When you pressed your ear against the door, you hear a tv, a game on. Someone is in there.

“Roman! Ivar! Open the door, or I’ll use my key.”

No one answers.

Sighing, you dig in your pocket and retrieve your keys. You flip to the key with a purple sticker and unlock the door.

Once it’s open, you step inside the apartment hallway. It’s long, dim, the only light is coming from down the hall, to the left, where the living room is. You pass the kitchen, it’s semi-illuminated via the moonlight peeking through the window. You can see dishes piled up in the sink, take-out containers, and empty beer bottles.

Walking past the bathroom, you stand in the living room threshold. Ivars on the couch, laying back, playing a video game. It’s loud, most of the lights are off and he’s in his underwear, the couch blanket draped across his legs.

Ivar’s eyes stay glued on the screen for a second longer before he looks at you. He pauses the game and puts the controller down.

“Can we talk?” You ask, nervously shoving your hands in your pockets. The angry courage you had seconds ago is fading.

Ivar stares at you and takes his time responding. “Yeah.”

Taking your one word in, you enter the room fully and sit on the loveseat left of the long couch.

Ivar watches you sit and rolls his shoulders before asking, “Why’d you do it?”

You break eye contact and stare at the floor, “I would have loved to explain the other day. But Roman was being a brat and you just, you checked the fuck out.”

Ivar lifts his chin and crosses his arm, “you dropped a bomb on us.”

You sigh, “what happened the last time I tried to ask you both, seriously, what we are doing?” Your eyes meet his again.

Ivar sits back, arms still crossed, “I remember.”

“Neither of you took it seriously. You made fuck buddy jokes, Both of you.”

“You never got upset before.” He shrugs.

“Yeah, when I was 20, 21 - we’re not in college anymore. We are in our adult lives, Ivar. I’m a more mature version of that girl you saw in the cafe that day. You guys mean so much to me but I can’t lie to myself anymore. I realized I need more. Yes, you are my best friends, yes we have a lot of fun and good times, more good times than bad. But - “ you pause and take a breath, “I want…commitment. Real commitment and not feel silly when I want to talk about this stuff with you guys. Or like I’m killing the mood. I did try to bring all this up and you two brushed me off.”

You stop, trying to read Ivar’s expression. He’s still silent. Still holding your gaze with his intense stare.

“Ivar - I took it because I am frustrated. Because I’m not getting everything I need. My efforts to have an open honest conversation with you two was treated as a joke. So I was pissed and hurt. And angry. Plus, we just got over that two-month rough patch where shit was just - weird, with all of us. Put yourself in my shoes…sure, I should have tried to talk about the test with you all first but I have my reasons. I took it because I needed to know one of two things. Is there someone out there for me who can check all the boxes and if that person is one of you two, or not?”

“If it’s not one of us?” Ivar asked. “Then what?”

You start to reply then pause. As you think over your reply, Ivar’s blue eyes stay fixed on you.

“I have thought about that possibility. A lot actually - I mean, statistically neither of you have taken it right? So if it is one of you, I won’t have a match at all -”

“Who is it then?” Ivar asks before you can finish.

“I don’t - I didn’t open it,” you answer honestly, “I’ve been too afraid to see it.”

The answer seems to surprise Ivar. Readjusting on the couch, he kicks one leg up on the table and uncrosses his arms.

“Well, what are you waiting for. Check.”

He suggests this huge act in his usual calm tone, his unique accent always sounding sweet to your ears. But you can see he’s still upset with you, his walls are up. Even with barely any clothing on, he feels guarded.

The idea of opening the letter, or the app puts a sour taste in your mouth. Dropping your gaze, you break eye contact with Ivar a second time.

“Go ahead. Open it.” Ivar presses on.

“But you didn’t take it - “

“I know that,” he raises his brows as he says your name, “open it.”

Though it was fun downing those drinks, they feel anything but now, settling uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach. You glance at Ivar once more before pulling out your phone.

Once the screen is unlocked, you dig up the app and open it. As the main page loads, a chill moves over your body. Your phone feels empty in your hands. Following the prompts, you reach the results scene, mouthing the words as you read them;

“No match at this time.”

5 words. One sentence.

It’s enough to help you breathe easier for the time being. You take a deep cleansing breath, your eyes drift to Ivar’s.

Feeling slightly better, you continue one of your earlier thoughts, “I was planning on telling you guys. I just needed time but Roman found it and freaked out. I wasn’t going to keep it secret and I wasn’t planning on leaving you guys.”

Ivar’s hard gaze starts to soften, he lowers his leg from the table. As he moves his arms to rest on his thighs, you watch his stomach and arm muscles flex. If it wasn’t for the tense situation, you’d be throwing yourself on top of him right now.

It was a treat whenever you found him like this, nearly naked, reclining on the couch, his delicious sculpted body on display. You calm the rising sexual thoughts in your mind and shift back to the more emotional subject at hand. The fact that you’ve been fighting back tears since laying eyes on him helps you temper your desires.

“Test or not, I can’t just…leave you two behind, you both are part of me,” you say softly, speaking in a lower tone, “and if It was some random person, I wasn't going to just run off with them. I would have talked to you guys first.”

Ivar sighs, looks you over, then pats the cushion next to him. You stand and sit beside him, facing him. Ivar leans forward, staring deep into your eyes, and says, “I believe you.”

A smile slowly builds on your lips. You cup his face with your hands. “Thank you,” you whisper.

Lowering your head slightly, you blink away oncoming tears. They weren’t entirely sad ones, you feel relief too. Ivar gently wipes the tears from your cheeks, his eyes never leaving you.

With every passing second, you feel more relaxed, you feel the tension leave your muscles. You didn’t know what you were expecting when you charged over here.

Even with your anger, you were afraid of losing them, especially Ivar.

Roman isn’t the only one with a temper, Ivar has one too. Ivar could hold epic grudges. In a way, his anger is the worst. Roman's anger is hot, fast, and explosive; like lightning, firecrackers, or a storm. Even if it lingered, it didn’t go bone-deep for Roman. But Ivar, Ivar’s is like poisonous roots of a tree, seeping down into the soil, to the foundations of the earth and gripping the very core with a death grip.

In your mind, you figured all of you would be upset for a bit but you’d mend fences with Roman first. Then, hopefully in this century, Ivar. So, it’s a nice surprise he’s being so gentle with you, so understanding. He hasn’t raised his voice at all, not once. Unlike Roman. As soon as your other love returns to your mind, you feel sadness and a sense of loss.

At least, you try to remind yourself, Ivar believes you. You still have Ivar.

As Ivar’s eyes move over your face, the remaining stress in your body melts away. Thoughts of Roman drift to the background as you focus on Ivar. The way he looks at you still takes your breath away, you find yourself under his spell in seconds.

Your gaze falls to his lips as he smiles at you and says, “I'm sorry," he pauses, "I love you.”

When your eyes meet him again, Ivar grins and draws you closer with his steamy gaze. You find your body inching forward, same as his. When Ivar rests his right hand on the side of your neck and gently yet firmly holds it, an intense warmth moves through your body, your cheeks grow hot. Desire floods in, taking hold of you as his lips meet yours in a kiss.

Ivar’s kisses always leave you breathless, and this one is extra special. Maybe because you’ve been apart for 5 days, or maybe because he was afraid of losing you too - Ivar spells you with his lips, his touch, the way his hands move over your body. As the kiss intensifies, you feel your hearts reconnecting; you feel the broken connecting mending, becoming stronger than before.

When the heated kiss breaks, you and Ivar stay close, holding each other as you catch your breath. Stimulated and breathless, you run your hands up and down his arms while gazing lustfully at his beautiful face, “I love you too Ivar.”

The way Ivar’s eyes light up at your words makes you smile and before you know it, he’s kissing you again, pulling your body beneath his on the couch. The second kiss leads to an ever-heavier make-out on the couch. Your hands explore each other bodies as you lose yourselves to passion.

With emotions high, and the two of you longing for each other, Ivar wastes no time taking you back to his bedroom. Being with Ivar again, though it’s only been 5 days, feels like the first time. It feels like a cure for your sad heart, it feels like heaven.

Ivar is the perfect blend of rough and sweet with you, with your body. From the very start, he’s always been an intuitive lover and he worked your body and awakened all your spots like no one else could. In his large soft but firm bed, your body pressed beneath his, you happily and excitedly give yourself to him.

Ivar’s kiss, his touch, the way he fills you - it's like a drug, you’re utterly and completely intoxicated by him. As you look up at him, your hips moving together, you can barely believe this is real, that Ivar is real. Ivar feels the same way.

He has to remind himself to go slow, to take his time, to show you how much he loves and appreciates you. But he slips, speeding up, going harder, it's impossible not to when you feel the way you feel, smell the way you smell, when you look at him with those eyes - the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen.

To Ivar, you are perfect, a goddess, a dream come to life. Clothed or unclothed you are a work of art and he needs you to know it, to believe it, to feel it. Ivar tells you with his kiss, his hands, his lips, by the way, he fucks you and looks you in the eye. Each purr, each moan, each breath that leaves your perfect lips makes him fall harder for you, makes him love you more than he already does. Your name is signed on his heart, now and forever.

Needing more of you, needing to be deeper inside of you, Ivar changes positions, guiding you where he wants you. The moan that leaves your lips is sweet music to your ears.

He loves you

He's sorry

He should have listened

He loves you

He loves everything you do

He loves every sound and word that leaves your lips

Ivar already has your heart, you already love him and when you fall asleep in his arms, your bodies warm, sweaty, and buzzing with euphoric bliss, you love him even more.

…

When you wake next, the room is pitch black except for the moonlight streaming through the window. You let your eyes settle in the dim room before crawling out of bed.

Though Ivar’s room has a half-bathroom, you don’t use it, you don’t want to wake him. He’s sleeping peacefully, so you decide to quietly leave the room and use the one in the hall, closer to your room.

Roman found this apartment first, he chose it for the view, which to be fair is fucking amazing, and he liked that it’s the deluxe top-floor apartment of the building. Roman loved feeling like a king and this ridiculous apartment gave off that vibe.

Naturally, Roman took the gigantic master bedroom and its attached full bathroom for himself. Ivar was living with his brothers Hvitserk and Ubbe at the time, then moved here, taking the 2nd largest room. When negotiating one of the rooms as his studio, Ivar used the whole “you have a full bathroom I don't" thing in his favor.

Your room is the smallest of the three (well, it's not that small really) and doesn't have a bathroom, but you didn’t mind. It was nice having your own cozy nook here, even if it was small. Besides, most of the time you were sleeping in either Ivars or Romans bed anyway or falling asleep on that massive wrap-around couch they have in the living room.

Thinking about both guys, you finish up in the bathroom and consider peaking into Roman's room. Letting curiosity take over, you do so quietly and find it empty, he wasn’t there.

Your heart sinks a little. Where is Roman? And was he coming home? He hated to guess what a sad angry Roman could be up to; he was the most self-destructive of the two. He was better with you two in his life, less reckless but who could say he wasn’t doing something stupid right now.

Closing the door quietly, you return to Ivars' room and climb into bed. He wraps his arms around you, pulling your body close to his. In no time you fall asleep again in his arms.

…

3 Days Later

Finishing up at work, you put the last of your things in your bag. One of your coworkers peeks her head into the room,

“Hey I meant to tell you, your boyfriend was hanging around but didn’t come in.”

You crook a brow and look back at her.

She laughs, “oh, yeah, I should clarify, the really tall one who likes to wear black….Roman.” She smiles at you.

“When was that?”

“About an hour ago, sorry I got swamped and thought you may have seen him yourself.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“No problem…” she lingers in the doorway, “what's the secret? I wish someone could tell me they saw my boyfriend out front and I could ask, which one.” She chuckles.

“None of it was planned, I can tell you that.” You respond, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Normally you would laugh at something like this too, but only one-half of you was happy right now.

You still haven’t spoken to Roman. You gave in and texted, then called, and got nothing in return. Just dead silence. Top-tier cold shoulder treatment. So right now you can’t find it in you to laugh about it with her.

You’ve mostly been at the boy's apartment, a mix of making up with Ivar and hoping to see Roman walk through the front door. But he still hasn’t come home and is ignoring Ivar’s texts too.

In the back of your mind, you feared, for a fleeting moment, Roman was in trouble somewhere. He did drive fast when he was upset and got in the habit of getting in fights when he had steam to blow off. Maybe he pissed off the wrong person? Or got a DUI?

It was one of the reasons you were late to work today, you were looking up arrest records and news reports, hoping to not find his name. Ivar did try to calm you, he had a valid point, if Roman Godfrey got in trouble it would A, be all over the place, public news or B Oliva would get him out of it in 5 seconds and he would have come home. Ivar guessed Roman was out self-medicating and would come home in a day or so.

Hearing Roman was outside like a stalker instead of responding to your texts was pretty on character for him. It also confirmed Ivar’s suspicions were right. By the time you say your goodbyes and head outside, Roman is nowhere in sight, not his very loud, very ‘Roman’ car. This likely means Roman is finally back at home.

Instead of going 20 minutes south back to your place, you head to the guy's apartment. On the elevator ride up, you stare at your phone. The Soulmate service has been sending you emails, but you don’t open them. You swipe and delete, just like you have with the other ones.

You decided to not worry about that right now. You wanted to fix things with Roman before anything else could happen. The last few days with Ivar have been great, but it still feels like your other half is missing, you need Roman too, you want Roman too.

Shoving your phone back in your pocket, you get off on the last floor and walk to the door. Taking a deep breath, you lift the key and slip it into the lock. Before you can turn the key, the door swings open, nearly taking you with it.

“Look who it is.” Roman hisses, he crosses his arms, blocking the doorway.

“Roman.” You regain your footing and look up at him.

He frowns, “how's your new boyfriend? Is he good fuck? Better than us?”

Cursing under your breath, you throw your hands in the air, “Roman please, can you just stop? I don't want to fight with you!”

You and Roman lock eyes, staring each other down. Roman takes a step back first, then shrugs. “You're the one keeping secrets.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, take a breath, then push your way inside, knocking past him as you do.

“What the shit?”

“I need this cleared up, now. I don’t care if you’re in a bad mood, hungover, still drunk whatever. Just sit down, shut up, and listen.” You toss your bag on the floor.

Roman’s brows come together as he watches you. He closes the door and walks past you, then sits on the couch. The expression he’s wearing now is like a little kid who just got yelled at.

“What were you doing at my job?” You ask hands on your hips.

Roman reclines back, a defiant look in his eyes. “ I can go anywhere I want.”

“You’re such a fucking brat.” You stay stern, rooted in place. You and he are having this talk now, whether he likes it or not.

Roman breaks eye contact first and digs in his pocket for his cigarettes. Just as he’s about to pull it out, and you’re using every ounce of control you have to not go off on him just yet, he grabs his phone as it makes a sound.

“Can you put that way for a bit, we need to talk Roman.” You sit on the couch a few inches away from him.

Roman’s green eyes meet yours briefly before he looks at the phone again. He’s sulking. He’s still very pissed. Annoyed. you watch as he swipes something open and his eyes grow wide at what he’s seeing.

“What?” you ask curiously.

“Shit, I fucking matched.” He lowers the phone, bringing his eyes to yours.

“What?” You ask again, not sure you heard what you heard.

Roman rubs the back of his neck, his eye darting to the phone, then to you again, “I took the stupid test today...” he trails off, watching the emotion in your eyes, “I was so mad at you I -”

You break eye contact and looks down at the phone in his hands. Sadness washes over you.

What kind of pandora's box did you open by taking this fucking thing?

You wish you never took it.

You hate that commercial.

You want to erase it from your memory.

Now Roman would be gone forever, your Roman.

You feel your spirit, your sense of hope, your assertive energy you walked in here with all melting away. Clearing your throat, you stand up and move away from Roman.

“I’ll leave you to that then.” You barely get the words out, your throat feels dry. A numbness starts to mix with the sadness, slowly reducing it until you no longer know how you feel.

Roman lowers the phone, confusion on his face as he watches you walk away. When he calls your name, you stop and look back at him.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.” You say.

Roman stands too, “I only took the stupid thing because…” he pauses, thinking about something, “did you look, who is it?”

“I don’t have a match.” You say the words are ever sadder out loud than in your head. You feel your shoulders curving forward like your body is making itself smaller.

“Shit, I’m sorry, fuck,” he scales the distance between you in no time with his long legs and cups your left cheek with his free hand. His eyes search yours.

You shrug, pretending not to care, “it’s fine.”

“Hey, “ Roman whispers your name so tenderly you feel your chest expand, “don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not. It’s fine. It’s not the end of the world.”

Roman shakes his head, “ you know what, fuck this stupid test, the whole thing is - fuck it, I’ll delete it right now - “ Roman swipes at the phone with one hand, while caressing your cheek with the other.

When his eyes drop to the phone, he mutters under his breath and goes still. He opened the results instead of deleting them.

Not wanting to see who this person is, you take a step back and divert your eyes.

“I took it, I won’t rob you of knowing so just - look, it’s okay.” You cross your arms, fixing your eyes on a painting on the wall.

When you hear nothing but silence, you bring your eyes back to Roman who is staring at you.

“Don’t be a brat, come here.” He grins and presents the phone.

“No, I don’t want to see it.” You wave your hand in the air before you.

Roman walks over to you, “just look at the godamn phone will you.” He shoves it closer and you grab it reluctantly.

Even when the phone is in your hands, your eyes stay locked on Romans. He urges you once more to look at the phone.

“Fine.” You drop your gaze and read the email, your eyes freeze on the name. The phone nearly slips out of your hand, Roman catches it.

When you look at him again, his smile fades, “you wish it was Ivar?”

“Why would you say that?” You ask, still processing what you saw.

Roman starts to make a joke, then stops. He radiated confidence and to those who didn't know him, they would never guess how insecure he actually is. He had his moment, and this is one of them.

“Hey, look at me,” you grab his arm, his eyes meet yours, “listen to me closely okay, don’t say shit like that.”

Roman just nods, but you can tell he’s still feeling doubtful.

You pull out your phone and find the deleted emails, quickly opening one you see you have a match. You open the email and hold it up to Roman's face.

“Do you see that?” You point at the name and photo, his name, his face. Then at his phone where your name and photo appear.

Roman forces a smile, “so, you’re not… disappointed it’s me?”

You shove your phone back in your pocket with a sigh and drag Roman over to the couch. Once you are both sitting, you hold his hands in yours.

“I know you and I have more fights than me and Ivar. And you know there are things you do that I don’t - agree with but it does not, at all make me love you less. I love you, and I love Ivar. You are part of me, same as he. I feared not seeing either of you as my match, that scared me the most. I don’t want some stranger or some new person.”

Roman relaxes as you speak, you can see a light returning to his eyes.

“I’m not leaving you, I wasn't secretly planning to break up with you. You just didn’t give me a chance to speak, to explain. I love you so much but you have to do better, okay? We need to be able to talk about things without you freaking out.”

Roman nods, hearing everything you are saying. Roman wraps his arms around you, holding you tight in his arms. He takes a deep savoring breath and buries his head in the nook of your neck.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers against your skin. You rub his back and close your eyes. You missed him, you missed his scent, the way he feels.

The two of you sit there quietly, just holding each other and breathing. There's so much to say, you two have so much to talk about but right now it just feels so good to be held by him, and hold him back.

Roman moves first, leaning back so he can look at you, “ I miss you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Roman.”

Roman smiles wide, it reaches his eyes. You missed that face, the look of happiness illuminating his handsome features. Roman strokes your cheek as he inches closer. Your heart is pounding in your chest, your eyes locked on his.

You watch as Roman stares at your lips, strands of his hair fall into his face, and you gently smooth them back. Roman's eyes close at your touch, he loved when you touched his hair. He would often lay in your lap and request it.

You feel butterflies in your stomach as your foreheads and noses touch. A tingly feeling moves over your body. Roman locks eyes with you again while grabbing your hips, he pulls your body closer to his until you’re nearly in his lap.

“I was afraid - “ he starts, stops, then starts again, “I was afraid I lost you.”

“You didn’t lose me,” you brush your lips against his, “I’m right here Rom-”

Before you can say his name, Roman's lips meet yours. You move your hand to his shoulders as the kiss deepens. The taste of his lips mixed with his scent and his hands on your body is dizzying. You feel a tingle down your spine mixed with nervous excitement.

As you kiss, you feel love blossom in your body, you feel the threads of your heart repair themselves. Roman wasn’t an easy man to love, but you do, you love him completely, endlessly, fully. You heard once that some soul mate connections weren't easy, maybe there’s some truth in that.

As you part for air, Roman stands and offers you his hand. He walks you back to his bedroom, body pressed against yours as he plants kisses on your neck, the sides of your face, and on your shoulders.

The moment you step foot in his bedroom, you’re kissing again and pulling clothes off each other. When your naked bodies meet the mattress, Roman takes his time tasting you, worshipping you, devouring you.

He makes sure he leaves no part of you neglected, no area of skin devoid of kisses - everything disappears as you lock your legs around him, his cock deep inside of you, his perfect thrusts sending you closer and closer to your peak.

As your bodies move as one, in a rhythmic sensual dance, Roman whispers praise against your hot skin and declare his love for you in between heated kisses. Each time you pull his hair and run your nails down his back he groans, losing himself further in you.

The sweet release comes as reach your apex of desire. Roman continues to fuck you through it until he comes. Catching your breath, the two of you lay still, savoring the wave of ecstatic pleasure as he moves through your bodies.

Roman gazes at you with heavy lids. He needs you. He loves you. He's going to try his best to be better, for you.

…

Your body is utterly but blissfully exhausted, you rest your head on Roman’s naked chest and drape your arm across his body. You feel him hum contently under you.

Roman skims his fingertips over your skin, following the length of your arm. Under the tangled sheet your legs are wrapped around each other. You don’t know how long you’ve been in this room, or how much sex you’ve had at this point, you just know that this is exactly where you want to be.

“In the beginning,” as Roman starts speaking, you lift yourself so you can see his face, “ I did see other people, sometimes, not a lot. But over the years it’s just been you, “ his eyes are clear, honest, “I only want you - since you have Ivar too I thought maybe I’m not enough so I tried seeing other people. I can't. They’re not you.”

Touched by his confession, you move up his chest to get closer to his face, and you plant a kiss on his lips, “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t tell you, I should have told you. I guess the jokes were my way of…dealing with it. I know I fuck up, I fuck up a lot. I’m sorry. I’m trying. I’ll keep trying to do better.”

“Good,” you and kiss his lips again, “ I believe in you. I know you can. Since I’ve known you, you have grown as a person, I’m really fucking proud of you Roman.”

He smiles and touches your face, his other hands still lingering on your ass under the cover. He loved praise, he lit up each time.

“We gotta tell Ivar.” A worried look flashed on his face.

“I know, we will. The sooner the better, I think. Tonight?”

Roman nods and shifts his head on the pillow, his eyes still on yours. Your mind starts to drift as you think about Ivar. It feels like one big problem was just resolved but now you had to tell Ivar about the test, about Roman being your match. It would crush him, even if he denied it or joked about it. You didn’t want to hurt him, you didn’t want to hurt any of them.

“I’ll just go out there and tell him I win. End of conversation.” Roman boasts with a grin.

“Are you crazy, he’ll stab you. Or throw a knife at you,” You were joking, half-joking. But you also know Roman loves Ivar, they joked around a lot and gave each other shit, but still, Roman wouldn’t want to hurt Ivar either. He was a lonely rich kid with no real friends before Ivar. Roman is just as attached to their little triangle as you are.

You continue, “we talk to him at the same time, and give him all the space he needs to digest it all. Yeah? And make it clear that I’m not going anywhere, you either. It’s the three of us, just as it's always been, just… a better version.”

Roman grins, “sorry I was distracted by your perfect tits. What was that?”

“Oh god,” you roll over on your back and laugh.

“No, I was actually listening though, and looking at your tits, “ Roman lays on his side too, his eyes full of adoration as he studies you, “it’s a plan.”

As you start to rise, Roman pulls you back to bed.

“I want more cuddles.” He demands.

“Okay, you can have all the cuddles you want.” You melt against him and close your eyes.

After a few minutes, he speaks again, “you know you don’t have to work that job. I’ll take care of you. I mean it. Anything you want. You don’t have to work again.”

“I don’t want to be a kept woman,” You run your fingers through his hair, “but thank you for the offer.”

“No don't think of it like that. Let me take care of you. I’ll do it. Ivar too. Between the both of us, you’ll have anything you ever need.” Roman rests his head against your chest. “Think about it.”

…

When the two of you finally leave the room, Ivar still isn't home. After checking the fridge, you settle on take-out. Since Roman needs more cigarettes, he offers to pick them up and get his smokes at the same time.

After Roman leaves, you sit on the couch and look for a movie to watch. When the door opens again, you lower the remote,

“That was fast.”

Ivar comes into the room and you feel your heart sink, it must show on your face because the way he looks at you changes from excitement to confusion. Ivar’s observant, he’s always been and you know he knows something is wrong.

He drops his gym bag on the floor and walks over to you.

“What is it?”

You sit up and frantically search for anything to say in your mind, anything but the test.

As Ivar sits next to you, you crumble under his gaze and spill the beans, you spill everything telling him about the test and Roman being your match. You’ve never talked so fast in your life and when the last words leave your lips you don’t feel lighter or relieved, you feel worried, and scared.

Ivar reclines back, his eyes focusing on the tv absentmindedly.

“Ivar, say something.”

He smirks, but nothing about it is warm, “something.”

“Ivar, don’t shut down on me, please,” you grab his face, making him look at you, “I know taking the test started a lot of shit but I can’t take that back now. All we can do is move forward okay. You know how much I love you, love isn’t even a big enough word. I’m not going anywhere. You still have me, I still have you.”

He takes a slow breath, eyes locked on yours.

“You, me, Roman. That’s all I want. It’s the three of us, and no one else. If you want that too, if you are okay with that, then let’s just move past this test okay and go back to our normal.”

Ivar presses his lips together in a tight line, and his jaw tightens. You can tell he’s battling with himself. Part of him is upset and jealous. The other part is okay with all this and happy to move forward.

“The three of us, “ you repeat softly, “the test gives you one person, yeah? Well the way I see it, and their research out there to back this up, a person has more than one soul mate so the test, in a way is only half the story. I have two soul mates, I know it, you and Roman. I don’t need a test to tell me that.”

Ivar smiles. He caresses the side of your arm.

You move closer to him, “tell me what you want, Ivar. Please?”

Ivar takes a moment to think.

He loves you.

He loves you more than he ever thought he could love a woman

Before you, Ivar didn’t think he could fall in love or have a relationship, but you changed all that. In fact, Ivar fell for you hard and fast and stopped seeing anyone else within the first year.

You made Ivar better, whole, you softened him up in good ways. You made him realize aspects of life he was missing and now can’t live without.

Learning to share you wasn’t easy for him, but one day it clicked and it just - worked. Ivar made a choice years ago that he would rather share you than lose you, and now, as he stares into your eyes and feels your soft hand against his skin he knows his mind remains unchanged.

Ivar suddenly pulls you beneath him on the couch and litters kisses on your neck and face.

“You’re not getting rid of me that fast.” He smiles against your skin before planting another kiss.

“Good, “ you wrap your legs around him and rub his back, you can feel the sweat under this shirt, “you are very wet and stinky.”

“And you smell like hot sweaty sex, so we’re even, “ he sits up, still pinning you beneath him, “well, almost. Romans had you all day, you’re mine tonight.”

Turned on by his words, you grab his collar and pull him down into a kiss. The front door opens and closes. Caring a bag of food, Roman peaks inside of the living room and laughs, finding you and Ivar making out on the couch.

“I guess the talk went well.”

Ivar breaks away, looking at his friend, “very. I know about the test. It’s cool. But she’s mine tonight, and tomorrow. And the day after." You quirk a brow as you listen to Ivar.

Roman chuckles, “we’ll see about that” he winks at you and heads to the kitchen.

Ivar stands and helps you off the couch, “ come on let's eat.”

“I’m starving.” You wrap your arms around him, walking behind him to the kitchen.

Over dinner any tension is gone, the three of you talk and laugh. Ivar and Roman make jokes and take verbal jabs at each other. It’s perfect, it's just as it should be. You feel happy. You feel at peace.

After dinner, the three of you watch a movie on the couch. You take turns cuddling with each of them during the movie, with stolen kisses in between scenes. After dinner, Ivar takes you into the bathroom where you share a very steamy shower before settling in his room for the night.

You fall asleep like a baby that night and look forward to tomorrow and the rest of your life with the two men you love.

...

Thanks for reading😁 @walkxthexmoon maybe? @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius

#modern ivar #modern ivar x f reader #Roman Godfrey #Roman x f reader #ivar x roman x f reader fic: the three of us

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