#rm x oc

[dari-ede]

Night Turns Into Morning: Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

MASTERLIST

Summary: Namjoon and Maya were best friends before they became an item. Both are musical artists and well known globally. Neither has ever dated someone in the same field they are in, much less work in the same COMPANY. Together, they must learn how to handle being in a private and secret relationship while trying to have a successful career. (This is a SEQUEL to "In the Middle of the Night")

STATUS: WIP

PAIRING: Idol!Namjoon x Singer!FemaleCharacter

Genre: Romance

WARNINGS: SMUT, good-girl kink, fingering, hand-job, (light) pussy-slapping, full penetration, nipple-sucking

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Walking down the halls of the complex, Maya couldn't deny the subtle stares didn't make her uncomfortable. While Namjoon's warm hand felt nicely around hers, it was hard to focus on that when at least a dozen eyes were fixated on where they were joined. It had been weeks since she had gotten back together with the leader of the biggest boy band in the world. They were still keeping their relationship a secret from the public but had agreed to be open in their private lives.

Currently, they were walking through security in their apartment complex and it was a space they had deemed safe to display some affection. Their home and their company's private halls and rooms were locations they were free to act themselves. And this was only possible due to NDAs being signed by security and staff at both locations. The community they lived in catered to the powerful and wealthy in South Korea, meaning they were guaranteed full privacy.

Namjoon had chosen this community a while ago for this precise reason: guaranteed privacy. So when Maya needed to find another apartment, he made sure to point this detail out to her. It didn't take long for Maya to agree. If the public were to find out an idol as big as RM was dating Maya, who was a well-known American artist, their company, Big Hit, would surely have a field day at its hands. Things would be chaotic.

The possibility of the public finding out about them was scary to imagine, so Maya forced herself to not think of it. She reminded herself of the little chance of their secret leaking. If someone spilled, they would then spend the rest of their days behind bars. Maya's new record label, which was also Namjoon's, had the funds to hire the best lawyers in the country and as part of Maya and Namjoon's contracts, their privacy was something the label would protect at all costs.

As Maya tried to settle herself down, Namjoon felt her uneasiness. Even though she had made great strides, Namjoon knew that it was a work in progress for her. There would always be moments her anxiety would try to beat the best of her.

He turned to her and noticed the change in her breathing. She was calming herself down.

He knew she felt his stare and turned towards him.

The moment her rich, maple eyes met his, he could feel her body fully relax. He sent her a soft smile. Her body then gravitated to his. Her head pressed against his shoulder as her other hand clutched his forearm. He could almost see her anxiety be swallowed down. That's my girl, he thought to himself. Maya was full of fight; her anxiety might win some battles, but his girl would always win the fucking war. He leaned over and pressed his lips on her head, feeling himself falling more in love with her.

The couple finally arrived at Namjoon's front door. He opened it and allowed her to enter first. They left their shoes at the entrance and walked down the halls to get to the living room.

Namjoon helped Maya take off her jacket.

It was late January and the weather was still pretty cold, would be for another few weeks.

"Want me to put your stuff in the room?" he asked as he motioned to the suitcase and bag on the floor. She had brought them in earlier in the day.

With her family in town and taking over her apartment, Namjoon had suggested she stay at his place for the time being.

She nodded. "Want some of the wine I brought earlier?"

"So I can get drunk and you can take advantage of me?" he teased, sending her one of his dimpled smiles he knew drove her crazy. He took her stuff and sent her a wink.

"You're lucky you're cute," she said, sending him a mocking glare then walked into his kitchen to find some glasses.

Just like during their first try at a relationship, Maya had given Namjoon control over when they were ready to take their physical relationship to the next level. She wanted him to be fully comfortable once they decided to have sex again. The only thing she asked was for him to be completely honest and sure. While he didn't believe in regrets, there was such a thing as learning from past experiences. He never regrated having sex with Maya but did think that they might have started things too quickly.

During their breakup, in the heat of anger, Namjoon had told Maya they shouldn't have had sex so soon but he hadn't fully meant it. Since they got back together, they talked about it at length. He wanted to be physically intimate again, but he wanted to make sure their heads and emotions were in the right place before they did so. He wanted their relationship to be more solid before they took that step. Also, he wanted to wait for the perfect moment.

And tonight felt right. Everything had been perfect. His parents and Maya's aunt and uncle, who she loved like parents, had a lovely dinner together. They all got along splendidly. There had been a lot of laughs and warmth as the six shared food with one another. This had been what Namjoon wanted: a full closeness with her. And he felt the way to do so would be to further bond with her surrogate parents and for her to get closer to his.

They had been working on strengthening their relationship—being more open with each other and expanding their communication. Emotionally, they had become incredibly intimate. Maya had been the one who struggled with vulnerability, which had been the reason for their breakup less than two months ago. However, after restarting therapy, she started to heal old wounds and was able to allow Namjoon in.

Namjoon was now seeing a completely different side of Maya. Every time she was honest with him, every secret she revealed to him, every concern she voiced made him want to fall to his knees and worship her. And because his emotions were getting more intense with her, it was more difficult to control his body around hers.

And after the perfect night they had, there was only one way to end it.

After placing Maya's stuff on the left side of his room—which was the side she took—he walked back to the living room and noticed two full glasses waiting on the counter.

He raised his eyebrows at her in mock surprise. "That's a lot of wine, no?"

"You have a high alcohol tolerance," she commented. "Don't pretend you don't."

"I'm worried about you," he said, reaching for a glass.

"The Latina blood runs powerful in these veins, baby." She took the other glass.

He let out a chuckle and raised his glass to her.

She tapped his glass with her own.

As they drank the wine, Namjoon took notice of a slight shiver coming off her. He turned to her arms and noticed the goosebumps.

Full concern took over. "Babe, you're freezing." He turned towards the thermostat.

"No." She said quickly, taking hold of his arm. "It's ok."

"It's not ok. Look at you." He reached over and rubbed her arms. Sure enough, she was cold to the touch. He knew he ran on hot, so she always felt cold to him.

"I'll put on a sweater," she whined as she kept him from moving away.

"But you'll be cold tonight. You know it takes a while for the ondol to heat the place."

A small look of sadness appeared on her face. "But then you'll be hot."

"I'll sleep without covers," he said simply, pulling away and walking to the thermostat.

But it wasn't that simple. Maya knew that if he got too hot, he would be too uncomfortable to fall asleep...and wouldn't sleep close to her.

And there lay the real reason and issue. There was a secret Maya was keeping from Namjoon. Something she had discovered long ago but had been too embarrassed to admit. However, Dr. Rob's voice made its way to her head.

"Any time you feel something but hesitate to voice it to Namjoon, I want you to take a step back and ask yourself what is preventing you from sharing that emotion with him. Is it due to legit concern or could it be the fear of rejection that's keeping you from opening yourself to him? If it's the latter, take a breath, and voice it to him. However little it might be."

She took a breath and ripped the bandage. "I sleep better when you're holding me."

Namjoon was in the middle of fidgeting with the thermostat and stopped abruptly when she spoke. He turned to her, giving her his full attention.

Taking another breath, Maya further explained. "You know it's difficult for me to fall asleep. Since I was a kid. Unless I'm physically and mentally exhausted, it can take me an hour to do so. I have to either drink a lot of chamomile or take melatonin drops and I have a weighted blanket that helps, too. But when I'm sleeping with you...." She let the words hang there. A blush made its way through her neck and face.

She felt so vulnerable, revealing such an intimate thought was incredibly difficult. There was no way Namjoon was going to make fun of her, but past experiences still dictated her emotions.

Namjoon wasn't saying anything, though. He was being completely quiet and patient. He knew her well and knew where she was getting at. But it was important for her to say the words out loud, on her own. So, he waited.

Maya forced herself to look back up and continued. "I noticed I don't need any of those things when I sleep next to you. I always get cold at night, but your body keeps me warm. When you hold me, it feels like a weighted blanket." She could have ended it there but she wanted to share everything with him. "Dr. Rob mentioned years ago that my inability to fall asleep might be due to past trauma. Nights at my house were...." The memories would lead Maya to a bad place. She wanted to tell Namjoon about those stories, but not right now. She needed to focus on one subject at a time. "Not so good. I never felt safe falling asleep. It continued throughout my adulthood. Dr. Rob recommended sleep therapy, but because of the pandemic, I never went. So, I continued with my methods. But after a while of us sleeping together, I noticed it. With you, I'm able to relax. There's no danger." Her voice was trembling; her body slightly shaking. She was about to share the key part of my secret. Vulnerable information. "You make me feel safe."

There were so many tears coming down. Despite her clothes, Maya felt naked.

Suddenly, those warm arms that protected her at night were surrounding her. "Thank you for sharing with me."

She snuggled closer, bathing in his heat. She let out a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "My emotions are all over the place with you. My body feels safe with you at night, but my heart kept you away," she said, referring to what caused their breakup about two months ago.

He squeezed her. "Emotions are complicated. Just got to navigate through them."

After a while, she finally pulled away and thanked him. "It was a good day. Long, but good. My mood has been on quite a high. I signed a new contract I'm very satisfied with, we had a nice dinner with our families." She took a step back and ogled at the outfit he had on—just like she had done countless times throughout the day. "You wore my favorite suit. It was a great day."

He smiled at her, seeing the happy tears in her eyes. "It was a perfect day." His hands came to her shoulder and he pulled her closer. "It's good if we just relax for the rest of the night."

She took the lips he offered her and nodded. "I agree."

"How about we get you a bath?" His voice was gentle but his eyes were full of fire as his large hands smoothed down her sides.

Maya was pretty sure what he meant by this. "Will you be joining me in that bath?"

"Only if you want me to," he said with complete sincerity, his hands exploring her back.

"Of course I do. But will it be only a bath we take? Or will there be more?" Maya asked, giving him a coy smile.

He bit his lip in a way that drove her crazy. "Only if you behave."

The words and tone went straight to Maya's pussy, making it quiver.

Namjoon didn't have a daddy kink, and neither did Maya; however, she quickly discovered on their first night together that she did have a good girl kink. He came to swiftly enjoy the kink himself, loving how her body responded to it.

"I've been wanting to give you a bath for so long," he said, bending down so his lips hovered just above her shoulder blade. "You've been so good—I want to reward you."

Maya's pussy clenched and whimpered, turning very wet very quickly.

He noticed her shiver and couldn't help but give a sinister smile. He moved her collar down so his lips could leave butterfly kisses on her skin.

She let out a high gasp. "Namjoon." Her fingers gripped at his jacket.

"Hmmm," he murmured as he explored her exposed neck, his fingers coming to her upper back so he could fiddle with the buttons. She had on a semi-conservative dress, one that she normally never wore but had done so since they had gone out with their parents. While he preferred clothes that showed off her shoulders and curves, she looked damn good in anything she had on. Right now, though, he preferred she was wearing nothing.

"Are you sure?" she made herself ask. She hated to ask but knew she should.

He made his way to her earlobe. "Yes." His tongue tasted her pulse. When he felt her moan, he took her skin in between his teeth and bit a little. "I want to make love to you." His mouth went lower, skimming down her neck.

Another shiver went through her but then she immediately went still.

He pulled away and looked down into her rich, maple eyes. They were a little wide as she processed what he had just said. But then there was a slight look of humor in her eyes and the corner of her lips turned up the tiniest bit. He knew her facial expressions so well. He smiled, knowing how the phrase might have come out. "That came out corny—"

She giggled. "No. I mean, yes it kind of did, but I definitely didn't take it that way at first."

"Then what's so funny?" He asked not helping a chuckle from coming out.

She held back another giggle. "You totally made me swoon," she said as a light blush appeared on her cheeks. "And it was corny. If any other guy would have said that I would have walked right out the door. How the hell do you do that?"

"Do what?" He was pretty sure he knew what she meant, but his ego wanted to hear it.

"You know what." Her blush was coming back.

"I want to hear you say it," he admitted, pulling her back because she was backing away.

She let out a sigh and let him pull her back. "You have this way with words. And so many times the things you say are so simple, but you still manage to make me turn to mush." She stared up at him with an incredulous look. "'Make love'??? No one can make that sound good. Not unless you have Kim Namjoon's deep, timbre voice of course. A voice so goddamn low, it can soak any woman's panties."

It was his turn to blush. "Thanks?"

She smacked him, playfully, still looking a little shy. "We haven't done this in a while. You have to take it easy on me."

He let out a low chuckle as he dipped down, his mouth claiming hers in a soft kiss. "I'll take it nice and slow."

She felt the twelfth shudder at the last minute come over her body.

His lips pecked the tip of her nose. "How about you get ready? Bring the wine glasses with you. I'll start the bath." He didn't give her time to respond. He pulled away, squeezed her ass, and headed to his room.

Maya stood there, frozen for a moment. She smacked her face, snapping herself out of it. Walking into Namjoon's room, she took her luggage and took out her robe and fresh underwear. She didn't bring any sleepwear since Namjoon liked her in his clothes. She poked her head into the hall that lead to the bath, making sure she had full privacy as she undressed and put on her robe. Stuffing her clean underwear into one of the robe pockets, she went back to the kitchen to retrieve the wine glasses.

When she returned to the room, she noticed Namjoon standing over her things. "Where's your bath stuff?"

She handed the wine to him as she took out the items she used when she bathed. Before she could make her way to the bathroom, Namjoon blocked her. He placed the wine on his desk and took the items.

"I'll take care of it. Give me a few minutes," he said and disappeared to the end of the hall.

Maya tried not to laugh at his cuteness. As he prepared the bath, she organized the side of the bed she usually took up when she slept over at Namjoon's. She didn't miss how some of her old items were still there. Despite them having broken up for a month, he had left everything of hers where it was. Her heart fluttered at this.

"Ready babe," came Namjoon's voice.

She turned to the hall and just about let out a loud moan. The Adonis-like man she called her boyfriend was standing in nothing but a pair of boxers, his hands clutched together, covering his flat stomach.

Namjoon didn't have a model-like body but he worked out plenty. He had lost a lot of weight during their breakup, but he had gone back to the gym. His thick, muscled arms and broad chest gave evidence of that. And those thick-ass thighs showed off the fact that he cycled often.

"Stop ogling or your bath is gonna get cold," he chided, his face looking a little shy.

She walked over to him, giving him a flirtatious smile. “Kind of hard not to, handsome.” When she got to him, her hands reached out to his chest and gave both sets of his boobs a squeeze. They were so firm.

"Stop," he said, moving his body away.

She laughed and began to walk towards the bathroom.

He smacked her ass as she passed him. The robe was thin enough that she felt the intensity of it. "Hey!" She covered her ass as she sent him a glare.

"You don't like it, do you?"

"I didn't smack you. Plus, you grabbed my ass earlier."

The couple came to the bathtub and Maya just about came down to her knees. This man had lit several candles, added bubbles to the bath, and there was some soft music playing from the speaker on the sink.

Namjoon came behind her, his arms wrapping around her middle. He brought his lips next to her ear. "I'm the one who does the smacking in this relationship," he let out in a low whisper.

This time, Maya almost did come to her knees. She held tight to his forearms. "Damn you," she hissed at him when he caught her and let out a laugh.

"Let's get you inside, baby. It's full of your favorite bath salts," he explained and moved them closer to the tub. His fingers came to her belt and started to undo it.

She leaned back into his big, tall frame, loving how sturdy he felt.

His fingers came up to her neck. He began to push down the only piece of cloth that was covering her. As he pulled it down her shoulders, his lips traced her exposed skin. He was teasing her by how long he took to take off a simple robe off her. That was definitely what she thought he was doing, but in reality, Namjoon wanted to take his time. He wanted to marvel and soak in little bits of the beauty that was Maya. He hadn't seen her naked in months and he wanted to ease into it. That was the whole reason for the bath—to ease into each other again.

When her robe finally fell to their feet, Namjoon's eyes roamed over her gorgeous bust. Nipples so pretty and pointy, clearly aroused. Clearly inviting. His fingers moved forward, tracing patterns on the sides of her heavy breasts. He wanted nothing more than to bury his face in them. But he kept himself controlled. He had all night.

"Inside you go," he said to her, his hand coming to her lower back and giving her a slight push.

Maya shook her head, trying to make herself alert. She was about to take a step into the tub but felt Namjoon's hand take hold of hers. The hand he had on her waist steadied her. She understood what he was doing. Using him as support, Maya got into the tub, loving the way how hot the water felt. She was a fan of hot showers and baths; Namjoon of course knew this. He didn't enjoy the hot showers but had mentioned in the past that hot baths he could tolerate since they felt like a jacuzzi.

She let out a satisfying moan in the water as she felt Namjoon stepping in. She opened her eyes, internally cursing at herself. She was about to miss his naked glory!

However, she was quickly disappointed. "You're not taking them off?" she pouted as her eyes became level with his boxers instead of his naked cock.

Holding onto both ends of the tub, Namjoon let out a smile. "Not yet."

He almost laughed at her huff but held back. It would only irritate her. And he wanted her to fully enjoy this.

"No fair you get to see me naked—that's sexist."

He rolled his eyes and took the cup he had set aside. "I can't see anything at the moment, now can I?" he asked as he motioned to the bubbles. "Head back, please."

Another huff came out of her but she complied. She rested her head on his chest as he wet her hair, making sure he didn't get her face.

"I should have taken off my makeup," she said, helping him keep the water off her face.

"Your facial products are there. How about you handle your face and I handle your hair?" he suggested as he motioned to a spot that contained her cleaning products.

She did as he suggested. Namjoon focused on her hair as she used wipes to clean her face. She could do a full facial cleaning in the morning. She wanted to enjoy the pampering.

Namjoon was good with his fingers as he worked the product into her scalp.

"That feels amazing," she moaned as she fell into his chest.

"Good," he whispered. He took the cup again to rinse her hair, his fingers still massaging her. Once satisfied with his work, he took her bar soap and washcloth.

Maya's eyes were fully closed and lost to her surroundings, which was why her body jerked at the feel of Namjoon's hands taking hold of her breasts. She looked down and quickly noticed what he was doing. "Warn a girl next time."

He let out a low chuckle. "Just relax, girl. I got you." One of his hands contained the washcloth and was cleaning one of her breasts, while his other hand simply held onto its twin. He was gentle, once again, ensuring he took his time cleaning every inch of her. He took both of her nipples in his fingers and rolled them softly.

Maya twisted on top of him, rubbing against his groin. Her hands went behind her and she took him into her hands.

He pulled away. "It's not about me tonight, babe. Tonight's all about you," he said, his hand squeezing a breast and his fingers giving her nipple a light pinch. "Just enjoy it."

"I want you to enjoy it, too," she said, feeling her skin melting into his.

"I am." He placed light kisses on her neck. "Really."

She turned her face to look up at his. "You're not just saying that?"

He gave her a small smile. "When it comes to loving you, I'll always be fully honest with you. Promise." He pressed his nose against hers.

Her hand went to capture his neck, pulling him back to her so she could kiss him. "When you say things like that I don't feel I deserve you. You're too good."

He pushed her back so they could look into each other's eyes. "You deserve the world."

A single tear came down as stared up at him. "You are my world." She reached up to his lips once again.

The kiss was slow and steady at first. His tongue grazed her bottom lip. She let out a moan and opened her mouth, allowing him more access to her. His tongue danced with hers for a while, both of their arousals heating up. His hands went down her stomach, rubbing and cleaning her sides with slow tenderness. He got to her thighs and went at a turtle's pace, fingers moving an inch at a time. His fingers gradually made their way toward her middle.

She sucked in a breath of air once his fingers reached her center. He hadn't touched her clit or lips yet, but the fact that he was closer than before drove her wild. "Namjoon."

"Tell me," he whispered into her ear, his fingers tracing small patterns just millimeters from her clit. His fingers pressed a little harder, loving how her moan turned deeper.

"I need your fingers," she breathed out, her ass grinding onto his cock. "On my pussy."

"That's a good girl, using your words," he said as his fingers moved to where she wanted.

Her fingers dug into his thighs as she felt his fingertips finally touch her throbbing clit.

His lips came to her neck, nipping and biting her slightly. He took in her moans and increased his speed, feeling her clit pulse and grow hot. The moment her breath pitched and her back arched, he slowed down. He took her button in between two fingers and lightly pinched it.

A small sob came out of her lips when he continued to go at a snail's pace. The buildup within her was getting restless. She needed release. "Baby, pleeeease."

Her sounds made his dick hard. "What?" he asked innocently as if he wasn't aware of the chaos he was stirring inside her. "My fingers are on your pussy."

She dug her nails into his upper thighs, making him inhale sharply. "Inside me."

"All you had to do was ask," he said then his fingers further down. Once they reached her opening, he felt her relax a little.

He pressed his middle finger into her inner lips, moving it up and down, exciting her. His pace was steady and firm. After a few strokes, he then moved into her opening. Then, ever so gently, his fingertip went inside of her.

They let out a moan in unison, each loving the feeling for different reasons.

Namjoon could feel Maya's walls pulse around his finger as they swallowed it in. Maya's restlessness tamed at his touch.

His finger moved in and out of her, loving the way it made her ass rub harder against him. He was sure if she kept it up, he was going to cum in his boxers. However, he pressed down his orgasm and focused on bringing her to full satisfaction. She had taken enough teasing from him. She deserved a bit of release.

Using another finger, he inserted it inside her and picked up the pace. He went a little harder on her, knowing how quickly she came undone when he did so.

Having two fingers stimulating her caused Maya's toes to curl. Her climax was just a breath away. She could feel it. She could taste it.

Namjoon's strokes became a little rougher and harder. His other fingers pressed onto her clit and rubbed at a fast and hard pace.

Maya's legs began to quiver at his touch. "So close."

His fingers curled in, grazing at a special spot inside her. His fingers went further in, the tips pressing against that spongy sack. "Come on, baby. Be a good girl. Cum for me."

Her entire body jerked and exploded above his as she finally reached her climax. Her heart raced; her skin caught on fire. God, she almost forgot how good this felt.

While her toys and her fingers had kept her satisfied the last couple of months, nothing compared to when Namjoon brought her to fruition. When she self-pleasured herself, it was all about physical hunger and an itch she needed to scratch. With Namjoon...it was always more than that. It was always physical, of course, but the emotional element she brought out of her added an extra layer of bliss.

It took a couple of minutes for Maya's body to calm down and for her breaths to become steady. All the while, Namjoon's hands caressed her, helping bring her down to earth.

Once settled, she cuddled against him, rubbing her head to his neck.

"Have you come back to me?" he asked, his hand making circles on her stomach.

She gave a simple nod. "I think it's time for us to get to bed." She turned her neck and pecked his chest.

"Yeah?"

Another nod.

He pressed her back a little, signaling her to move forward.

She obeyed with a pout. He made his way out of the tub and she was quick to notice the tent on his boxers. She really needed to fix that once they got to bed.

He dried himself quickly and then offered her his hand. Taking it, she got to her feet and held onto both his hands as she climbed out. She didn't miss how he stared at her naked frame for a good, long moment before he wrapped a towel around her soaking skin.

Taking his time, he dried her hair, his eyes mostly on her tits and pussy than where he was drying. She didn't mind. Her eyes were feeding on his own titties and arms. He had wrapped the towel around his damn middle so she couldn't drool over his tent.

After drying her skin, he took her robe off the floor and tied it around her.

She turned to the side and noticed the wine. "We forgot about that."

He took the glasses and offered her one. "One last sip, so they don't go completely to waste."

"It lost its fizzle," she argued.

"Just one sip," he urged.

She rolled her eyes. Of course, he wouldn't want to waste an expensive product. She gave in and took a good, long sip. She knew if she didn't, he would only have her drink more.

He took one more sip himself, making a face as he gulped.

Maya laughed. "Told you."

He set the glasses back down. "I'll clean all this up tomorrow. Promise."

Maya knew he said it because he knew she had a bit of a cleaning problem. It's not like she had OCD, but messiness did bother her a little.

He offered her his arm to take. She did so and forgot about the mess they were walking out of. Together they made their way down the hall and to his bed.

Once they arrived at the foot of the bed, Maya turned towards Namjoon and tugged at the towel around his waist. "Your turn," she said with a coy smile.

He smiled back at her but took her hands in his. "Maybe another night. I told you; tonight is all about you. I meant it."

"But I like giving you attention. If this is about me, then shouldn't you give in to my wants?" She sulked.

He chuckled. "Tonight being about you has nothing to do with giving into your demands. Even if you do look super cute pouting."

Maya narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't call me—"

He shut her up with a heated kiss. His fingers threaded into her hair as he pulled her roughly against his body.

Maya forgot about what she was arguing about. His lips worked magic and made her forget everything else.

His fingers came between them and untied her robe. The cloth was on the floor in under two seconds. All that foreplay in the tub was making him want to be inside her. Soon.

It was only after she was fully naked that she was then allowed to tug at his towel and push down his boxers. She might not be able to go down on him tonight, but she was grateful that she could at least touch his thick member.

Her hands took full advantage, wrapping around him and squeezing him.

The action caused him to pull his lips from hers to let out a hiss.

She took the opportunity to bend her head and look down at his throbbing member.

God, he was fucking gorgeous. He was so thick and hard and had a nice girth. Using her tongue and mouth, she gathered a good amount of spit and aimed. The liquid fell off her mouth and landed at the base of his cock. She heard him let out another hiss once it made contact with his skin. Using her spit as lube, she moved her hands up and down his length, taking pleasure in hearing his sounds.

She took the head of his cock and twisted her wrist during her movements. Her thumb pressed onto his piss slit. Her other hand reached beneath him and took hold of one of his balls.

"Shit," he hissed. He couldn't contain himself anymore. It had been a mistake to let her touch him. Just as he knew her body well, she knew his.

He took hold of her curvy waist and lifted her easily.

A squeak escaped her.

He dropped her down on his bed. She read him well and went further up the bed. Once she was settled at the head and lying on the pillows, Namjoon simply stared at her.

"Shit, baby. You're beautiful," he said as his eyes tried to take in all of her.

Her eyes dropped to his member, standing fully erect and pointing right at her. It looked furious, needing a pussy to settle inside of. Her pussy only got wetter at the anticipation. "You're one to talk." She reached for him. "Come here."

His knees came to the bed and he crawled over to her, his body moving above hers. "I wanted to take this slow. But you're making it difficult."

She bit his lip, loving how he hovered above her. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Not being a really good girl."

A loud moan came out from her lips.

Using his legs, he maneuvered her, making her spread her legs wide open. "Bad girls get bad treatment, did you know that?" His hand boldly pressed through her lower lips then came down with a light smack.

Maya almost came for the second time right at that moment. "Fuck!" Her hips twisted underneath him; her hands reached up to take hold of his forearms to keep steady.

He did it one more time, loving seeing her come apart.

She dug her fingernails into his skin, letting out a hiss.

He took hold of her thighs and pushed her legs straight up. Using one hand to hold her that way, he took his cock in his other hand and pressed the head of his cock onto her opening. "You on the pill, baby?"

She mewled. "Mmm-hmmm."

Both had a breeding kink. He knew once he put his dick inside her, it was going to be difficult cuming anywhere else other than her pussy.

He stroked his member against her pussy lips a few times, wanting her wetter. He was fairly big and they hadn't been sexually active for so long. He wanted this to be as easy for her as possible, which meant she needed to be as much around as possible.

Placing his cock head on her clit, he used two fingers to stretch her. Her walls welcomed him, squeezing his fingers. He pushed knuckle-deep, easily due to her arousal. He pulled back and came back inside her with a third finger.

"Yeeeesss," she moaned, moving her hips. She didn't have control over her legs since he was still holding them straight up, so it was the only thing she could do.

After several rubs, he pulled his digits out and placed the head of his cock onto her entrance. Her hole easily took him in. He felt her squeeze around him. "Easy, baby."

"Want you in," she moaned.

He pushed in a little further and her cunt suckled everything he gave. "Shit, you feel better than I remember," he let out as he pulled out slowly.

A whimper escaped her top lips. "Want you fully in," she nearly begged as she wiggled her hips. Hated that he had control over her legs. She wanted to wrap them around his waist and push him further in. Bring all of his long inches inside of her.

"We got time, baby. Just enjoy it." With the same slow rhythm, he moved back into her.

He continued at this pace for far too long, tipping her near the edge but not allowing her to fully fall. The slow strokes allowed the lube he needed to go balls-deep but also made the knot in her stomach go insane.

Maya felt insanely stretched. Even though she had been playing with herself lately with a dildo almost as big as Namjoon's cock, nothing could have prepped her for the real thing. There was something about Namjoon's cock that hit every sensitive area in her. It was long enough to pound a sweet spot deep inside, but not long enough that made the experience more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Its girth was thick enough to stretch her in sweet ecstasy, but not too much for it to be considered painful. And that thick vein along the underside of his length rubbed her walls just right. He really had a Goldie Locks kind of cock that complimented her pussy just right.

He popped his dick inside and pulled out almost immediately. Then, ever so slowly, he would press back inside her, only to pull out until just the head was inside her. He waited a few moments and pressed into her in a rough stroke. He pulled back out slowly once again and came back in with the same excruciating pace.

"Goddddd," she whined.

He moved her legs to her side, his cock hitting another sweet spot. "Ready to cum, baby?" His hips pushed forward, hard and rough, igniting a gasp out of her. He smiled.

"Yes," she moaned out. "Please." She reached forward and took ahold of his forearms. She had better control of her hips now, so she twisted them with desperation. "I need you."

He finally quickened his thrusts, loving the feel of her wetness and tightness around him. "You feel so fucking good, baby."

His movements were now causing squishing sounds to come out of their joined organs. She felt a gush of wetness coming out of her at hearing this. "Oh my god."

As he went faster, her boobs began to move. They looked so fucking appetizing. He bent forward and took one of her breasts into his mouth, sucking on her nipple.

Reaching out, she scratched at his chest. Her mouth opened to let out another sound, but she found her voice got stuck in her throat. He was hitting a spot that felt so damn good, it was causing her to go voiceless.

Seeing her mouth so wide open, he caught drool coming out of the corner of her mouth. Fuck, that was hot. He pulled his lips from her tit and sat straight up again, taking hold of her thigh and using it as leverage to pump faster into her. He could feel his balls tighten. He was close. But he wanted more time.

He moved her legs again. He spread them wide on either side of him but wrapped his hands on the front of her thighs to keep her from wrapping around him. He used this new angle to grip her and pull her towards him harder.

This new angle allowed him to have a great view of her bouncing breasts and face that was full of ecstasy.

Bucking her hips vigorously, she felt herself getting to the edge. "Almost."

He let go of one of her legs, moving his fingers to her clit. His fingers moved at the same vigorous pace as his hips. "Come on, baby."

Her eyes rolled back as her spine arched against his body. His cock was hitting such a honied area and his fingers were working beautiful magic on her. She was on the very tip, ready to erupt around him. His voice and words duplicated the amount of energy she was about to send out.

He bent at the waist, his rhythm never changed, and whispered ever so deep, "Be my good girl. Give me one more."

Her entire world came apart. Light no longer existed, touch and feel had ceased to exist.

Feeling her walls tighten around him, her body quiver underneath him, and hearing her let out a strong wail was all he needed. He pressed forward one last time and felt himself spill inside her. His body too shook from the intensity.

She let out a moan at the feel of his seed. Her arms wrapped around him, inviting his full weight on her.

He stayed like that, on top of her, forgetting how much he weighed. She just felt so nice underneath him. Her softness felt like a pillow.

It took a couple of minutes for him to realize he was probably crushing her. He immediately pushed off. "Sorry, babe."

She let out a small whine. "Mmm. You felt nice." A shiver came over her body at being separated from his warmth.

He noticed her coldness and pulled her to his chest, warming her.

She let out a sigh and snuggled. "So that's what making love is?" she asked, a little chuckle coming out.

He smiled at her teasing and kissed her forehead. "Did you enjoy it?"

She nodded. After several moments of silence, she spoke again. "You won't put on the ondol tonight?" There was a hint of concern in her tone.

"Well, it is winter. If I leave it off, we'll freeze to death," he teased. "But I'll keep it low. I promise."

Her next words were just above a whisper. He was certain she was falling asleep. "I just don't want it to be too warm. If I'm too warm, my body won't need you to keep warm. And I want to need you."

Other than when she told him she loved him, no other words she had said had moved him like this. He bent down and took her mouth into his.

Even as she was half asleep, she still felt the passion. They'd had plenty of intense, hot kisses. But this one reminded her of that first one they shared when they got back together. It was beyond passion. Beyond longing. It was full of love.

He pulled away slowly. "I want you to need me, too."

She smiled at him, her eyes heavy and closing.

He kissed her shut eyelids, marveling at her beauty. "Mai?"

"Mmmmm," she barely let out.

"I love you," he said with his full heart.

"I love you," she breathed out, her voice full of contentment. He swore that if she was a cat, she'd be purring.

----------------------

NOTE: Unsure when Chapter 2 will be posted. I'm still mapping out the story and I tend to prefer writing a big chunk of a story before I start posting it, so it might take a while. 

#rm smut #rm x reader #rm fanfic #idol!rm #IntheMiddleOfTheNightSequel #rm x oc #namjoon x maya #bts fanfic #bts smut #idol!RM #idol!Namjoon #rm x foc

[luvdzu]

of perilla leaves and shrimp

220513 - - - ♡ eun calls namjoon after watching bts' mbti lab and reminisces the time when namjoon complained about eun peeling shrimp for the members, forgetting that he doesn't eat seafood

a/n why are they so cute and for what?!?? i'm blushing it's not funny because i've been listening to indigo and birthday and sighsfkshdja also i just watched the album film and it gave me a lot of insights on namjoon, imiso excited for the both of them, since it'll be rocky for the next months 😬 sorry not sorry also didn't edit, i was rewatching and thought it was cute how namjoon was okay but when the context changed he was suddenly defensive, especially since he doesn't eat seafood hehehe

He didn't even know the video was uploaded, but exactly 30 minutes after Namjoon's phone rang. Namjoon didn't think less and accepted your phone call. It was normal.

It wasn't until Namjoon heard Eunseo's giggles behind the screen, automatically, his lips twitches in curiosity. "You seem to be having fun, did anything happen?"

As the screen loaded Namjoon greeted her with a bright smile as Eunseo turned the camera towards her face, "Is that why you were sulking on the way home?"

Namjoon raised his brows in confusion, his thoughts contemplating on last week's events if there are things he missed when you two were last together.

"I'm not catching the question love, is there something I did? If so, please tell me."

Namjoon stares at the screen in confusion, but not enough too worry as he sees Eunseo stifling her laughter.

"It's not what you did, it's what I did. Remember when we went out to eat dinner with the members and I peeled shrimp?"

As soon as Eunseo's words hit him, Namjoon became a blushing mess and began to hide his face in the pillows in front of him.

He could hear the sound of laughter making him feel giddy and nervous at the same time, as he slowly remembers the words he said in the debate.

Though most of his statements were edited out by the staff, as the members also reminded him as to what happened, which Eunseo doesn't have to know.

"The members reminded me as well..." Namjoon slowly lifted his head from the pillow, watching Eunseo laugh on his screen.

"I don't like perilla leaf but the shrimp was so funny, when you grumbled about me peeling the members shrimp."

Namjoon groaned underneath his breath, before smiling at the thought of his own actions. Deciding to be smug about it, Namjoon owned up to his feelings during the situation, something he couldn't do back then, from embarrassment.

"Yeah, I was jealous about it, and what?"

Eunseo's laughter ceased as she looked at Namjoon lovingly before smiling at him, "Joon... even though you don't eat shrimp?"

"Even when I don't eat shrimp... Moreso because I don't eat shrimp, it means you're peeling the shrimps for them!" Namjoon confessed the same words he told the members.

Taken aback, Eunseo slowly faced Namjoon and paused the video, curious about his response. "Is there something else you want to say love?"

Eunseo raised her brows as Namjoon shuffled in his seat before looking at her.

"You shouldn't peel their shrimps okay? I will peel them for you whenever we eat, though it would be a waste of shrimp since I'm bad at it, are you willing to let that go at least?"

The call started out as a joke to tease Namjoon yet here he is, professing a vow to peel Eunseo's shrimps everytime she eats them. Though it will be a waste of shrimp, Namjoon can learn.

"I don't know if I'm shocked or happy that you said that, I initially wanted to tease you but why would you make me fall over you again." This time it was Eunseo who hid her face away from the camera.

Namjoon could hear the faint voices of Eunseo's screams muffled by the pillows.

"You're so adorable." Namjoon whispered to himself.

"You can teach me how to peel shrimp, after ten months surely I'll become good at it, so don't peel shrimps anymore okay? I will do it for you, if you want I'll peel the shrimps for the members, I'll do it for you." Namjoon concluded, as he watches her glaring at him.

"I'm sure it'll take time, so why don't we start practicing now?" Eunseo replies, catching Namjoon off guard.

"Is this you way of asking me out on a date? Jung Eunseo, you've gotten so smooth at this, asking me on a date casually. But I agree, the faster I learn, by the next dinner the members have planned with us together, I may have learned a thing or two." Namjoon purses his lips in thought, thinking it's a great idea to start now.

"It's a date then! Why don't you order in various shrimp and I'll come over there and teach you." Eunseo stood up excitedly as she ran to her closet.

"I'll give you time to prepare love, see you later!" Namjoon spoke as he stood up, gathering to prepare for a spontaneous shrimp date.

"Make sure you order something for yourself, it would be unfair if only I get to eat the shrimp we'll peel. I love you." Eunseo pressed her lips into a kiss as she waved goodbye.

"I love you too. Please take care on your way here, don't use your phone when you're driving, love." Namjoon reminds her before ending the call simultaneously.

Standing alone in his own apartment, Namjoon smiles to himself, before sending a message to the group chat.

joon : reply whenever you're free, let's have dinner together 🥢

#red velvet 6th member #red velvet female member #red velvet female addition #red velvet female oc #female kpop addition #female kpop oc #kpop female addition #kpop female oc #kpop female member #female kpop member #rm x oc #namjoon x oc #bts x oc

[roxyjean82btsoneshots]

She's Like The Wind

✏️Namjoon x OFC ✏️Friends to Lover AU 🛑 Rated 18+ 📖WC: 2811 ⚠️cheating ex, drinking, storms and flooding⚠️

Also on Ao3 and Wattpad

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Choon-Hee quickly slipped on her shoes and put the hood of her jacket up before stepping out into the rain. She slowly walked to the main office of the Mountain Lake Resort. Although it was a downpour, she still took her time enjoying the water from the heavens and jumping in every puddle she came across. During the past couple of days, she’d started the process of healing.

This time last week, she was getting ready to marry a man whom she thought she’d be spending the rest of her life with, but that all changed the night before their big day. Choon-Hee couldn’t sleep, her body was a mixture of nerves and excitement. It was a little after 1am when she decided she'd had enough pacing in her room and decided to go to the hotel bar. She wanted something to calm herself down. Just one drink would be enough to relax her body so that she would be able to get some sleep.

The feeling of her heartbreak was a feeling she didn’t know if she’d ever get over. The sight of her fiancé sitting in the back of the bar making-out with one of her bridesmaids was something that would forever be burned in her brain. She watched from afar, and when they left, instead of confronting them, she hid down a nearby hallway, unable to think of anything better to do. The dinner she’d shared with them a few hours before threatened to show itself again when she heard him sweetly talk to the other woman about how much he’d missed her as he kissed her neck while they waited for the elevator.

Once morning came, the only thing left in her room was a note explaining she wasn’t going through with the wedding after what she’d seen. By the time it was found she would be on her way to what was supposed to be her honeymoon alone. Her now ex-fiancé let her pick the location, she hadn’t told him or anyone else that she’d chosen a place from one of her favorite movies because she wanted it to be a surprise. And now that she was here, she was glad she’d come by herself.

When Choon-Hee finally made it to the office she was drenched from the heavy downpour. Her body shook from the chill of the cold air inside mixing with the wetness. She removed her hood, not caring that she looked like shit. She wasn’t here to impress anyone, she left her cabin for one thing and one thing only. The front desk called the phone in the cabin last night to inform her that her lost luggage had finally made its way to her.

“I’m sorry, sir. But like I said, we have no cabins or rooms available.”

Choon-Hee’s eyes found their way to the woman working behind the counter a few feet away. The poor woman looked stressed and judging by the tensed muscles in his back, the man in front of her was just as stressed out.

“I understand that, ma’am. But you said that some of those spaces are empty due to people not arriving because of the storms and flooding. All I’m asking is for you to allow me to stay until either the rain stops or the water goes down. Once one of those happens, I’ll either return to the campsite or I’ll leave.”

That voice. Choon-Hee knew the man’s voice. Her face scrunched up while she watched his shoulders rise and fall as he tried to calm himself.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to sleep then? The rangers made me leave my car when they brought me down the mountain.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kim.”

Choon-Hee’s eyes widened when she realized who the man was. Before she could change her mind she walked up to the counter and stood next to him. “He can stay in my cabin.” She kept her focus on the woman. “It’s already booked for two people.”

“I appreciate you offering him a place, but I don’t think it would be safe for you to share a cabin with a stranger.”

“He’s not a stranger,” Choon-Hee finally turned to look at the man who was already facing her with a confused yet glad smile on his face. “He’s Kim Namjoon, brother of the man I was supposed to marry.”

Namjoon smiled and cocked an eyebrow. “I take it the wedding didn’t go as planned?”

Choon-Hee ignored his question and turned her attention back to the woman. “I also need to pick up my luggage that was dropped off last night.” She handed the woman her ID.

The walk back to the cabin was quiet. The two of them enjoying the heavy rain. Namjoon was waiting for the answer to his question and Choon-Hee wasn't ready to speak about it, yet.

“There’s a bedroom behind that door. You can stay there, the bathroom/laundry room is on the other side of the kitchen.” She said showing him around the downstairs area before going upstairs to change and dry off.

“Are you not going to answer my question?” Namjoon didn’t avert his eyes from the large windows where he was watching the rain soaked world outside.

“Are you hungry? I went shopping when I first arrived. We should have enough food to last us a while. I wanted to make sure I’d have to leave as little as possible.” Choon-Hee asked, stepping off the bottom stairs and going to the kitchen.

“Wow, you really are avoiding the subject. Was it that bad?”

“Do you want a beer?”

Namjoon sighed and grabbed the beer she’d offered him before sitting on one of the stools that was on the opposite side of the counter. He observed her while she busied herself in the kitchen. Her eyes were a mixture of sadness and happiness. It was the same emotions her eyes had held in the five years that she’d been with his brother. But this time the happiness was stronger.

One drink later and the two of them were sitting around the table eating dinner while they listened to the storm outside.

“I caught him with one of my bridesmaids.” She finally admitted, breaking the silence in the cabin.

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” she replied, lips popping the p. “I couldn’t sleep the night before the wedding. So I decided to go downstairs to the bar and have a drink. Found the two of them making out in a booth and then watched them walk to the elevator while he told her how much he missed her.”

“That motherfucker!” Namjoon put his fork down and took a deep breath before resting his back against his chair and looking at the woman across the table from him. The woman who was still eating as she spoke.

“Afterwards I went to my room, cried for a few hours, bought an airplane ticket, packed my bags and came here. Well not here here. I stayed at another place for the first couple of days.”

“Did you tell anyone where you were going or what happened?”

“I left a note. But by the time they found it I was already on the plane. They called and texted so much that my phone died and I really don’t have the urge to turn it back on. At least not yet anyways.”

“So no one knows where you are?”

“You’re the only one.” Choon-Hee stopped eating and looked at the man across the table from her. “You haven’t talked to anyone have you?”

Namjoon closed his eyes and shook his head, “No, I didn’t have any signal where I was camping so I turned off my phone. And by the sound of things I too don’t have the urge to turn it back on.”

“So it was our crazy destiny that brought us together again?”

A smile formed on Namjoon’s lips. “Yep, just like it did the first time we met in school after I accidentally ran into you with my bike. We are destined to be beside each other, Choon.” The smile faded when he saw her get lost in her thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” she answered with a tight lipped smile. “Do you think you can handle the cleanup? I’m going to go lay down for a bit to see if I can get rid of this chill.”

“Go rest, I’ll take care of it.”

Choon-Hee said a small thank you before going upstairs and climbing as far under the blankets as she could. While she waited for sleep to take her the word “destiny” floated around her head. It was something her and Namjoon had joked about since they were teenagers. But she’d never really thought about it. Now as she laid there she remembered all the times he just happened to be there whenever she needed someone. She was never very good about sharing her emotions, but somehow he always knew. Now she wondered if he really was destined to be by her side. She wasn’t sure just how yet. But she planned to figure it out soon.

The spring time storm was still going strong outside when she woke up. Choon-Hee groaned and threw her covers to the side. The chill from being outside had been replaced with sweat thanks to all the blankets she’d piled on top of her body.

The clock beside her bed read midnight. She wasn’t surprised she’d slept for hours. Her body and mind were exhausted these days. She’d spent most of her time here either sleeping or looking out the window.

After a shower to wash away the sweat she quietly went downstairs and grabbed herself a glass of water before sitting in the chair that was in the corner next to the window. She couldn’t see much, but the pathway lights outside showed enough that she could watch the rain and heal a little more.

“Who put Baby in the corner?”

Choon-Hee nearly spilt her drink when she jumped at the raspy voice in the dark. “Jesus, Namjoon. How long have you been up?”

“Long enough to go to the restroom and wonder if you were a ghost.” He walked over to the window and leaned against it. “It’s still raining?” Choon-Hee could tell but the way he asked it that he really wasn’t looking for an answer. “You said you flew here?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t your motto ‘if god wanted me to fly, he’d given me wings’? So how did you finally get over that fear?”

“For the past year, I’ve been in a program at a small airport that helps people who have a fear of flying. I really wanted to come here as a surprise to him for our honeymoon.”

“But he hates Dirty Dancing. He used to complain every time we’d watch it.”

“I know, but he told me he didn’t care and that it was more for me anyways. So I took my chance.” Choon-Hee shrugged and took a drink.

“It was a smart move. I highly doubt anyone will look for you here.”

The cabin fell silent again as they both stared out the window and Choon-Hee finished her drink.

Choon-Hee was putting her empty cup in the sink and heard Namjoon mumble something before going to his room. His bedroom light came on just as she was closing the door to the bathroom.

Her hands stopped mid wash when she heard the music for “Be My Baby” starting to play. She hurried to finish washing and dry her hands.

“What the hell?” Her reaction was a mixture of amusement and confusion when she opened the door to find the lights on and Namjoon moving furniture around. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t have you sad anymore.” he gestured with his hand for her to come closer. “We are here at the Dirty Dancing resort so we are going to have fun. Um, do you remember the moves to any of the songs?”

“Not really,” Choon-Hee chuckled and shook her head. “But we were never the best at it anyways.”

“Well then I guess we’ll have to make it up as we go.”

Laughter filled the cabin as the two of them attempted to dance and quote the movie as much as possible. Choon-Hee’s body became lighter the more she laughed. For the first time in a week she felt normal.

“Since it’s raining out, do you think we could reenact the car scene?” Namjoon asked, pulling her close when ‘She’s Like The Wind’ began to play.

Choon-Hee smacked his chest with the hand she had on his shoulder, “Kim Namjoon, you are not busting out a car window.”

“Come on, it might be fun.” he put her head on his chest as they swayed to the music.

“Your car isn’t here and I only have a rental.”

“We can say someone tried to break in. They’ll never know.”

Choon-Hee’s eyes closed as she laughed against him. Her body relaxed just like it had always done with him. She never knew what it was about his warmth that calmed her.

“Why did you leave?” The question she’d been wanting to ask him for the past two years left her before she even realized what she was saying.

Namjoon sighed before answering. “I couldn’t take it any more. He told me he was going to ask you to marry him. There was no way I was going to stick around and see the woman I fell in love with marry my asshole brother. It was bad enough watching her fall in love with him instead of me.”

Choon-Hee opened her eyes and removed her head from his chest so that she could look him in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did, many times. But you never saw it as more than a friendly love.”

“That's because the first time you said it we were drunk and you kept telling me how much of a good friend I was!” She knew she was yelling, but she couldn’t help it.

“Why are you getting mad?”

Choon-Hee removed herself from his embrace and started pacing, “Because I thought you were joking, Namjoon! All these years I thought you only ever saw me as a friend!”

“Would it have changed anything if I told you my true feelings?”

“Yes, no, maybe. I don’t know.” She stopped pacing and looked at the man in front of her. “All I know is that I wouldn’t have spent all these years chasing and being in a shitty relationship with a shitty man. If I had known.”

“So you're saying you would’ve given me a chance?”

“Namjoon, you are one of the people I cherish most in this shitty world. If you would’ve asked me for the moon, I’d find a way to give it to you.”

“Then give me a chance. I know it’s not the best time to ask, but…” His words were cut off the moment Choon-Hee’s lips touched his. He stood there in shock staring at her for a couple of minutes after she’d backed away. “What…what was that for?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, cocking her head to the side. “I just had the sudden urge to see what it would feel like to kiss you, and so I did.”

This time it was Namjoon’s turn, though his moves weren’t as quick as hers. He placed his hand on her jaw line and watched her reaction as he slowly brought his lips to hers. When he was sure she wasn’t going to back away, he closed his eyes and made the connection.

Choon-Hee felt something inside her that she’d never felt before. Namjoon’s lips moved slowly and gently with hers. Her entire body melted into his. When his strong arms moved to lift her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist without hesitation.

When she felt the give of his mattress against her back and the weight of his body on hers, she wasn’t worried. The disappointment her body felt when he finally broke the kiss, surprised her.

When she opened her eyes Namjoon’s lust filled ones were looking at her and he had a shy smile on his face. “Don’t look so disappointed. I think it’s best if we stop here, for now. We have plenty of time to explore what we’ve just unlocked,” he said, shifting to lay on the bed and then bringing her close enough so that she could cuddle up to him.

That night Choon-Hee slept better than she had in years. When she woke up the next morning still curled up in his arms with the bright morning sun shining through the window she couldn’t help but smile. Everything felt just right and she finally felt complete.

THE END

#namjoon oneshot #kim namjoon #namjoon bts #namjoon #namjoon x oc #namjoon fluff #bangtanwhq #rm bangtan #bts rm #rm x oc #bts #bts one shot

[insfiringyou]

BTS - A Conversation by Candlelight (RM x Ji-eun)

Set two years following his release from the military, after ‘Setting a Date’, Namjoon addresses his fears about the future of his career.

*Potential trigger warning for allusions to disordered eating*

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist of fanart and fanfictions can be found here

If you wish to follow all member’s storylines in chronological order from the beginning, you can find them listed here.

Content below the cut

The candlelight was kind to her features; hiding some of the dark shadows beneath her eyes and making her eyes sparkle in a way that reminded him of when they first started dating. Her hand moved to the glass of water with reassuring smoothless and Namjoon found himself relaxing further into his chair, suddenly glad he had made the reservation. It was nice to see her dressed up. At home, her clothes were increasingly casual as she worked into the long hours of the night. He was often not awake when she rose for work; donning the sharp, well-fitting suits he had come to expect. It seemed to him that he used to get up not long after her; enough time to join her for a morning tea and kiss her goodbye before she left for the day, but increasingly, the sun was high in the sky by the time he finally made it into the kitchen. He couldn’t pretend she hadn’t noticed as well…

“I’m glad that was over…”

Her voice shook him from his thoughts and he looked up, thinking for a moment she was reading his mind. The sensation was a little eerie, but seeing the downward slope of her shoulders as she sat back, taking a few, careful sips of water, made him realise his error. 

“It was a difficult case…” He replied, not really a question, and she nodded slowly. 

“The hardest I can remember…” She paused, a smile tugging the edges of her painted lips. “Except the Jung case.” Setting the glass back on the table, her hands folded neatly above her napkin. “That one really took it out of me.”

He remembered vividly. Not long before his enlistment; her being called into the office after midnight. The seemingly simple libel case ending with a surprise murder twist. Her phone conversations in the following weeks had been hushed; frantic. She had shown him after a single grey strand above her hairline; the result of five weeks worth of stress and worry. Although she had grown no more, at least that he could tell, it seemed to him that the true onset of ageing had happened after. Perhaps as recent as the past year. Still, he wasn’t as young as he once was. 

“I’m sure they are all very proud of you.” He reassured her, taking a sip of his own water. He himself had been proud of her when the waiter asked for their order as she shooed away the wine menu. Although he had found an empty bottle half-tucked behind the picture frame in her study the previous week, it seemed to be a one-off. He hadn’t actually seen her drink for over a month. 

She shook her head modestly. “It was a blip. The case really shouldn’t have taken as long as it did, but someone in the London office fucked up the paperwork.” Looking up, she took his hand in hers. “The next case seems more simple. I’ve been promised a break.” 

He squeezed gently, feeling the outline of her knuckles as he did so. They protruded a little more than usual and his stomach sank for the first time that evening. Had she been eating? He hadn’t paid enough attention. Her office door was often closed; the rapid sound of typing drifting through the crack beneath the only signal of her presence. In bed, he was often asleep by the time she joined him. If her ribcage and hips were more visible, would he even notice? 

“That’s good…” He murmured, barely even hearing himself. His mind was elsewhere, but the waiter’s presence behind his shoulder brought him back as they ordered food. He found himself hanging onto her every word as she read off the main menu, ordering a starter as well as a main. That was good, he thought. Her appetite hadn’t been abolished after all. Whether she would finish it all was another matter, but it was a start. Perhaps she was forgetting to eat. He could relate to that at least, though not for a while. Back when he was making music, the hours in the studio would sometimes fly by and the evening would come and go before he even thought about food. He himself ordered the same. Subconsciously knowing he would be able to tell if she left the plate whether it had genuinely been too much food to handle, or if her taste for it was truly dulled. Perhaps it was to do with the drink too. He had heard some people lose weight when they stop, though others tend to gain…He hated when his mind raced this way.

“I’m glad you booked the table.” Ji-eun whispered, almost sultrily, once the waiter had left them alone, and he felt her fingers caress the back of his hand. “It’s been too long…”

“I know.” Namjoon replied, honestly, feeling guilty. He sighed. “I didn’t want to disturb your work. I know how important this case was for you.” 

“Mm. Maybe you should disturb it a little more often..” Her response surprised him, and he looked at her directly. The glimmer in her eye was back, and this time he was sure it wasn’t just the candlelight. Her eyebrow twitched and he felt his stomach grow warm. Her fingers tightened around his and his mind turned back to another tidbit of the previous week. The important news he had relayed to her one evening, making sure her laptop was closed for the night and she was settled in the living room, reading a book rather than paperwork. His stomach had been flipping incessantly, starkly unpleasant, though the news should have been good. He felt nervous, on edge, though he wanted to be the one to tell her. It wouldn’t do to have her find out another way. The news would break to the media sooner or later, and not telling her in advance would only make things worse. In truth, he too had been surprised. If any of them were going to fall pregnant, he would have guessed someone who had married. He knew Jin wanted another. Yoongi, he wasn’t sure about, but he seemed happy enough with Jeong-sun. 

Ji-eun, however, had reacted calmly, passing on her congratulations without barely looking from her book. He tried to read the title from where he stood, across the room, but her long fingers obscured it from view. He had hovered, realising after he was waiting for some kind of outburst; a delayed reaction once the news set in, but none had come and he had been glad. Quietly relieved, he had texted the younger member from them both, making a mental note to call him back once he himself had processed the fact. He would make a good father, he had no doubt, but his own feelings on the matter were jumbled, confused. Namjoon wanted children; always had, but the past few years had made him uneasy. Ji-eun’s desperation only serving to widen the gap between this deep, rudimentary desire and the logical part of his brain which told him the timing wasn’t right. He knew it was harder for her, as it was for all women. Their bodies could only take so much and for so long; the window of opportunity still very much open, but not for much longer. The more they waited, the harder it might be, and would she ever forgive him for that? Still, he knew whatever he was waiting for; some cosmic message that now was the time, had not yet happened, and that night he had found himself wondering if it had been so simple for the younger member. Had he known the time was right, or had it happened anyway? His girlfriend pregnant with twins…two more children than Namjoon could envision in his own life. 

“I’m sorry…” Namjoon murmured, realising some time had passed without a response. He smiled, a little sheepishly. “I was lost for a second…”

Slowly, carefully, she pulled back from his hand, just in time for the starters to arrive. He watched her eat from the corner of his eye, glad to see her clearing her plate with an appetite that was seemingly lost on him all of a sudden. 

“I worry about you sometimes…” She spoke, not raising her eyes from the plate as she cut up the last few pieces of pork. Perhaps it was easier this way. “I think maybe you should go back to work. It would give you something to do.”

He found himself pulling back from the plate, now watching her fully. He hadn’t expected her to say this. His own anxieties for her had consumed everything; his whole brain, over the past few months. The possibility of her feeling the same towards him hadn’t even occurred to him. “I’ve been curating…” He argued gently, knowing as he said it that the charity work for the Leeum had been a distraction; a red-herring to cover up the emptiness he sometimes felt when alone at home, the studio seeming barren, like a worn-torn wasteland in his own mind. 

“I know.” She smiled, a little emptily. “And you enjoy it.” She finally looked up, setting down her cutlery. “But you enjoy making music more, or at least you used to…”

It felt almost accusatory, though he knew there was no malice in her words. He picked at his food unappetisingly, moving it around with his chopsticks before eating a few mouthfulls. “Jungkook’s the only one who's had any real success…” He shrugged, knowing as he said it that it was a defunct excuse. “And for how much longer…” Looking up, he backtracked, avoiding the topic. “I’m not sure I can…” He sighed, finally admitting the truth. Ji-eun smiled, though it seemed sad. He wondered just how much this thought had plagued her. How much she had noticed the absence in the studio since he had returned from his duty, over two years before. He knew how relationships worked, or at least how they were supposed to work, but still, it seemed to hit him suddenly how their concern for each other worked both ways. How she loved him, just as he did her. How his troubles, as subdued as they sometimes were, troubled her as well. 

“I know you can.” Her smile finally set in, feeling genuine and she once more reached for his hand across the table. “Maybe not with the others…at least not for now. But you could try writing. Producing…”

The thought was met with a kind of fear; a deep, carnal anxiety that gripped his stomach irrationally, though she seemed to coax him through it, her hand warm against his. He hadn’t realised before just how deep, how buried, his musical impotence had been. How worrying about her was sometimes easier than thinking of himself. 

“You’ve always produced music, you told me…” She murmured convincely and he realised at once she could sense his fear; could feel it within him just as strongly as he felt it himself. “And you will again. You don’t have to give up the museum if you don’t want to…”

He opened his mouth to reply but found his voice stuck, though he wouldn’t know what to say even if he was able to. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, the waiter coming with the main dishes, though the man seemed to hesitate, sensing the importance of the moment. Ji-eun, seeming fully in control of her own emotions in a way he hadn’t observed for a while, gently let go of his hand and sat back in her chair, providing the opportunity for the food to be served. The waiter looked relieved but hid his thanks, instead setting the plates down quickly. 

“We don’t have to talk about it now.” Ji-eun continued once they were alone. “But I’d like you to talk about it, maybe to someone else, but also to me.” She left a pregnant pause, keeping her hands to herself now the food had arrived, steaming with warmth, but he felt her sincerity along with something else. A connection, perhaps, that had been somewhat lost along the way, reforming between them. 

He nodded at once, gulping to clear his throat; an unexpected bulge having formed in his windpipe. He wasn’t one to cry or get overly emotional. It had happened, once or twice, during the course of their relationship, but never enough for him to be seen by her as someone who couldn’t control himself. Now, however, he felt the dam threatening. Perhaps it would come fully later on, once they were back at home, and the usual desire to retreat would undoubtedly be at the forefront of his mind, but he wouldn’t let it. For once, he wouldn’t allow himself to hide from her; it would do no good. Instead, he picked up his chopsticks, unable to help the slight tremor in his hand as he lowered them to his bowl; knowing she would have seen and trying not to let it bother him. He had seen her tremor more than once; had grown to almost expect it earlier in the evening, and wasn’t that her being vulnerable in front of him? Whether she liked it or not. His mind conjured up a strange image in that moment, a cadaver laid open on a mortuary table; contents bare for all to witness. He had seen a painting once, a Rembrandt, that showed such a scene; the gory body surrounded by an audience. Maybe that was what being in a relationship was really like, after a while at least. Revealing your guts; as horrific as it might seem. 

His hand stopped shaking as he plucked the rice and meat between the chopsticks, raising it to his lips. Opposite him, Ji-eun was eating heartily, head tucked down with purpose, and he felt glad. For a moment, his own troubles seemed far away, lost in his love for her, and he felt his stomach grumble hungrily.

***

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[girl8890]

R Town | Ch.18

Namjoon x Daisy (FemOc)

6.6k

POV: Namjoon

Warnings: Pole dance, Premature ejaculation, Vaginal fingering, Vaginal sex, First time in a long time, Confessions, Anxiety attack.

Index | Ch.19

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

I know some people are going to call me ridiculous, wiped, or even delusional... but I just can't give up on Daisy.

After the night I found out what she does for work, I went home and cried for hours. I even called out of work the next day for the first time since I started working there when I was sixteen. I only got the job because it was the closest thing in town that was to my real dream. That, and my father just died from getting drunk and swimming in a pool, so I really started focusing on my dream after that.

But instead of my dream of becoming an actor, the only thing that's been on my mind this past week is Daisy. How I found out about her job; how we left things; how sad she looked while she broke us off; and, worst of all, how I let her go.

Besides Daisy telling me I shouldn't talk to her anymore, letting her go was what made me cry the most. Me being a coward was always the norm. I never take risks, and maybe that's why I'm still living in a town where dreams never come true. But now I'm glad I never left this town because if I did then I would have never met her.

I think about everything Daisy and I ever did together. All the movie marathons, the snacks we would steal and eat from the movie theater, the excitement in her eyes when she was showing me her comic books. I never thought a girl like Daisy would ever be a fan of Batman, but I also never thought I would ever fall in love with a girl like Daisy either.

If I were to tell anyone about my situation with Daisy, I know they would tell me to just get over her. That she's not worth my time or energy. That a "whore" like her only wants dick and the money you give them... but that's not my Daisy. My Daisy is sweet, and kind, and gives guys like me the time of day to talk about stupid shit like my favorite color! Daisy is the girl I love, and I don't care that she's a stripper or a prostitute... I just want her safe.

I want her safe, and to be mine only. I want to take her out of that line of work, and show her a world where I will love her until the end of the earth. I want to show her what our life could be like. Me as a - hopefully - big actor, and her being a hairstylist at a high-end beauty salon.

Daisy is always doing her hair in some way. Even though I love her naturally wavy hair, seeing her hair in a different style every day always fascinated me. Although she doesn't voice her dream often, I can tell she loves the craft of hairstyling a lot. I want to give her that dream. I want her to have that dream more than I want my own dream to come true. And most importantly... I want her to mine, and mine alone. I at least want that dream to come true, or maybe even show her the possibility of it.

I guess that's why I'm here, standing in front of the Lee club and staring at it like it's a toxic waste joint instead of a sex and strip club. As much as I tried not to think about Daisy with other men, it was really hard not to. I felt bad even thinking about Daisy and me being intimate in that way, me knowing she is so much more than just a sex object, but her beauty would sometimes take over my urges at night. The men that visit her here, don't give a shit about who she is as a person. They want one thing and one thing only, and I hate that Daisy has a job surrounded by those types of men.

I close my eyes and take in a lung full of air, and tried to blow out all my anger with it. After a few minutes of meditation in front of this fucking sex and strip club, I open my eyes and walk through the doors.

I've never been to a strip club before. Not even when I turned eighteen, and some of my old friends tried to drag me to one. I just found them degrading, especially clubs like this.

A girl with black hair, wearing the smallest pair of underwear and bra set I've ever seen on a woman, is spinning around the pole with her legs wide open. She has tattoos everywhere on her body, starting from her ankles and stopping at her neck. The new doctor in town, Liam, is throwing bills all around her.  The girl is snatching up all the cash with her one hand, all the whirl still spinning and holding herself on the pole with the other.

I swallow while watching the erotic tricks, but it doesn't make any blood flow travel south. I take my eyes off the stripper and start walking around the club in search of Daisy. After five minutes have passed and not finding her, I begin to think maybe she doesn't work tonight. Or an even better possibility, maybe she doesn't work here anymore.

But before that thought could really implant in my mind, the tattooed stripper leaves the stage, and the next one comes out... and it's Daisy.

I actually have to do a double-take when I see her. I feel just as nasty as the rest of the guys here when I feel my dick jump in my pants when I see what Daisy looks like.

Her hair is half up and half down but also curled. She's wearing deep blue lipstick, making her already plump lips look bigger, but what's really getting my heart racing is her outfit. She's wearing deep blue lingerie, the bottom and top part of the outfit connecting at her stomach with a little diamond. It's all lace, and just the specific parts for her are covered by deeper lace. It's making her look super sexy, but at the same time, this isn't lingerie she would wear for a lover. It's something a stripper would wear to give little for the imagination, but still covering the parts that people would have to pay to see more of.

It takes one turn of Daisy on the pole, and then she stops when she sees me. I'm standing behind the front row of chairs in front of the stage, and I can see it clear on her face she's not only shocked to see me but embarrassed because how I'm seeing her.

Daisy starts to cover herself, but then she glances around and remembers what she's there for, so she refrains. I walk up to the stage, and try my very hardest to only look her in the eyes when I say, "Dais, can we please talk?"

The music is loud, but I know she heard me when I watch her swallow. She leans down a little closer to me, and responds, "I'm working, Namjoon. I can't do this right now, please leave."

Before I can say anything else, she straightens back up and begins to waltz around the stage. I feel defeated at this point, and watching some group of guys start to throw cash at Daisy is not helping my already terrible mood about this place. But then my eyes widened because those guys give me an idea.

Daisy finds herself back twirling around the pole, and once she glances at me, I slam my hand full of cash on the stage, making her jump. She looks between my hand full cash and my determined face. Then I say with equal determination, "I want a room with you right now."

Daisy doesn't speak to me the whole walk to one of the private rooms. I guess whatever amount of money I dug out of my pocket and gave to her was enough because not only did I buy a separate room, but I bought one that had a lockable door instead of just some lousy curtains.

It doesn't really matter what room I'm in because I'm not here for that. I'm here to talk to her and that's it. Daisy opens the room and lets me walk in first. The second my eyes take in the room, my jaw drops. Not only does it have twice as much space as the other rooms, but the large circular booth has its own personal small stage with a pole in the middle of it. The lights are pointed right at that pole, and as Daisy shuts and locks the door behind us, I realize the room itself is soundproof. The bumpy, soundproof, walling strips on the doors and walls show that someone can be screaming and there's no way anyone outside this room could hear them.

Before I could let my mind wander to what that means, Daisy pulls me by my wrist and practically throws me on the couch. I look at Daisy's face in bewilderment, and she looks in no way impressed by what I just did out there in the main room.

"Look, Dais, I'm sorry, but I needed to talk-"

"Namjoon!" Daisy interrupts me and has me shutting my mouth altogether with a raise of her hand. "Let's just get this over with, and then you can leave. I told you I didn't want to see you anymore, but with the amount of cash you gave me I have no choice."

Daisy then struts away to one of the cabinets attached to the wall across from me, and I see inside a small music player. I shake my head and rethink her words, so I clarify to her, "I don't want any of that." Daisy looks over at me and raises an eyebrow that shows she doesn't believe me. "Well, not like this. You know I have feelings for you, so don't be unfair."

"Please, stop," Daisy says while she messes with the music player, not looking at me again. Even after the music turns on she continues to mess with the buttons.

I stand up out of my seat. "No, I won't stop! I should have stopped you when I let you drive away, and I should have told you all this before. I -... I love you Daisy."

I hear Daisy quietly gasp, but she says nothing in return. The silence continues to stretch between us, and I hate that she's not only saying anything in return but not facing me as well. I promised myself I would no longer be a coward when it came to Daisy, and I'm not going to start now.

So, with one deep breath, I stomp over to her, spin her around, and slam my lips to hers. The crash of our lips has Daisy's head hitting the cabinet, but I protect her from any damage by putting my hand in her hair, so the cabinet hits my hand instead. I want no harm to ever come to Daisy, even if I have to protect her from such trivial things as her head hitting a cabinet.

I pour all my feelings into that kiss. I don't know how I feel about it - well, her lips feel amazing, and they are as perfect to kiss as I thought they would be - but she's not responding to it. Without pulling back, I say against her lips, "Please, love me back Daisy."

After a hesitant moment, Daisy finally responds to my kiss. She relaxes in my hold and glides her hands up my chest. It feels so good to have her in my arms, and kissing her perfect lips for the first time is like heaven on earth!

Daisy starts to push me backward until my knees buckle back on the couch, and our lips detach when I fall back in my seat. Daisy smirks and nudges my knees to spread them apart with her hand. I don't understand what she's doing until I watch her walk backward until her back hits the pole.

"Wait, Daisy, I-I said I just wanted to talk."

"Then talk," Daisy says with a mischievous smile on her face. "I know you will weather I tell you can or can't, and you gave me enough money for an hour, so... you'll get what you want."

Daisy puts her hand on the pole behind her, but she's still facing me. I heard her words clear as day, but even as I repeat her words over and over again my brain isn't letting me say anything. I have a million questions to ask her, but when her back starts sliding down the pole and she spreads her legs open I forget them all. I forget every question I've been rehearsing for the past week.

Daisy glides her hand from her knee all the way up to her inner thigh. I watch as she slowly rubs at her sheer covered core, and I have to clench my hands on my knees to not let out an embarrassing moan because of the sight.

Daisy stands back up and begins walking around the pole. "I thought you had questions for me, Namjoon. Now it seems you are speechless."

I see the knowing smirk on her face, and I hear the sultry tone of her voice. I now understand what's she doing. She's trying to seduce me into forgetting any of my questions. Maybe even trying to prove that all guys are the same and that I'm just saying I'm in love with her for kicks. But that's far from the truth.

I clear my throat and try my best to ask my first question while she lifts herself on the pole. "W-why won't you be with me Daisy? I think you know I could... that I could take care of you - oh fuck."

Daisy does a split in the air, only holding herself up by her arms on the pole. Making my erection now strain painfully in my pants. I know this is pathetic. Me getting so hard by just seeing what was between her thighs, but when I said I've never been in love, that also included not being very sexual. Besides losing my virginity when I was seventeen to some girl I can't even remember the name of right now, my sexual experience is basically zilch.

"I can't be with you because I'm not a good person."

"Untrue! Your the nicest and sweetest... and honestly most beautiful girl I've ever met," I say breathlessly.

Daisy's full of mischief smile falls with my compliment, but by the way she quietly gasps I know it affected her in a positive way. She then slides down the pole and walks around it again, thinking.

"You don't understand, Namjoon. I'm not a good person for you." She presses her back against the pole again, and then slowly puts her hand at the back of her neck to pull the strings there. All the while saying, "I have sex with guys for money. You don't know what I've done to survive in the past."

Her lingerie falls to the floor, and it takes me a moment to process her words when I see Daisy's naked body for the first time. Her body is more beautiful than any actress I've ever seen in movies. She has an hourglass figure, but her breasts and hips sizes are the types that girls get plastic surgery to have.

I bite my lip, hard. Trying to prevent myself from being who she's expecting me to be. Expecting me to be like any other guy that sees her body. Whipping out their dicks to jerk off to the sight, or maybe even attacking her to get straight to what they truly want. Right now, I'm preventing myself from just rubbing myself through my jeans, especially when she starts rubbing at her nipple in circular motions.

I shake my head of any lustful thoughts of coming and shut my eyes tightly for a moment. I need to concentrate on why I'm here. I can't do that while I'm looking at her naked!

"I don't care what you've done in the past, and the... sex - with guys for money, I can help you out of that life. Please, just let me show you. Let me show you a life where all you have to worry about is what movie we want to watch together, and what color to dye someone's hair at your dream job."

I slowly open my eyes, only glancing once away from her eyes, as Daisy shakes her head and looks down at the floor. I don't know which of my words affected her the most, but something made her sniffle and shed a tear that she quickly swipes away.

"What if I mess up?"

Oh my god, is she really going to take my offer?

"You won't." I stand up and walk up to Daisy until I'm on the mini stage with her. I pick her chin up and stare her right in the eyes as I say, "And if you ever feel like your going to, then I'll help you. I'll help you in any way I can because I love you, Daisy."

Daisy's lip starts to wobble, her last bit of tolerance to not crying about to snap. I take her face in my hands, gently cupping her soft cheeks. "I love you, Daisy," I repeat. "Please, give me the chance to show you."

Without anymore hesitantly, she answers with a nod of her head, and then she bursts out in tears. I have to catch her from falling into a pit of tears when a large ripple of emotions courses through her. I try to only concentrate on keeping her from falling, and not the fact that her naked body is pressed against me. I kiss the top of her head and hold her close to comfort Daisy while she cries.

When her wailing cries become only small sniffles, I move some hair out of her face to behind her ear. Before I could even suggest it, Daisy whispers to me, "Let's go home."

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

As much as I wanted to since her little show at the club got me very horny, I didn't think Daisy would want to have sex once we got to my house. In fact, once Daisy walked in the door, I thought she would just want to nap or something, but instead, she pushed me on the couch and jumped me. Smashing our lips together has me finally losing the strength to not moan from the contact.

I only saw her naked body twenty minutes ago, before Daisy quickly put on her jacket and we ran out the back door of the club undetected. She's still in her lingerie, but she has an oversized coat on, covering herself from anyone seeing her basically naked form in public.

For me, on the other hand, she rips her jacket right off without detaching our lips and instead deepens the push of her lips onto mine.

This is all so overwhelming. Having Daisy wrapped in my arms, kissing her so passionately I'm seeing stars, having her almost naked core grinding against my crotch with earnestness. I try to tell her to stop, that I'm about to blow a load in my pants because of what she's doing, but it comes out as gibberish and she keeps kissing me harder and harder.

It's when she takes my hand and puts it under the sheer lingerie, cupping her breast in my hand, that I gasp and cum right in my pants. I pull Daisy's body close to me because I start to lose my vision because of how good it feels.

"Fuck - I'm sorry - fuck," I say against her shoulder when I'm finished embarrassing myself.

Daisy takes my hand off her breast and then wraps her arms around my neck. She giggles at me acting like a horny fool, and then says, "Seems like it's been a while for you."

Daisy nips at my ear, and it had my dick already stirring back to life in my pants. I think Daisy could literally cough right now and I would think it was the sexiest thing in the world.

"Yeah, a long while." Daisy stops nibbling at my ear, then pulls back from me altogether to look at me confused.

"How long exactly is a long while?"

I begin to feel nervous about her question. I know Daisy has loads more experience than me, but I still want her to feel good. I still want to be intimate with her for the first time, and show her how deep my love for her really goes. I'm just worried she won't like my answer to her question.

"Um - well..." Daisy raises a pointed eyebrow, waiting for my answer. "Since I was seventeen."

Daisy gaps, but quickly closes her mouth. Not wanting to further embarrass me since it's clear by my blushing that I already am for admitting this fact.

"Wow. I'll be honest, I'm surprised."

"Is it really that's surprising?"

Daisy smiles and shakes her head. "Yeah, your, well... you."

She gestures to all of me, and I smile with pride when I see a cute little blush raise on Daisy's cheeks. I pull Daisy closer to me by her hips and kiss her softly. It was only a quick peek on the lips, but I poured my truth into it. I want Daisy, and I want all she's willing to give me. Even if she never wanted to have sex with me, and I would forever be that guy that only had sex once when I was seventeen, I would be content as long as I had Daisy close to me.

I tell Daisy all of this, including, "...I love you."

My sweet words don't make Daisy cry this time, but I do see her eyes gloss over. I love how sensitive and emotional Daisy gets. I love knowing I can make her feel this way by my words alone. It makes me want to tell her all the ways she makes me happy, and I hope after tonight she decides to stay with me, so I can show and tell her just how much I love her every day.

I pick Daisy up bridal style, and she gasps at my quick movements. As I'm walking us to our room though, she begins to laugh that contagious laugh of hers, making a dimpled smile form on my face.

I lay her down on my bed and then crawl over her. I kiss both of her cheeks before diving in to kiss her for real. As much as I wish I was as experienced as Daisy, so I could know all the ways to please her, I'm glad Daisy is here with me. I wouldn't want to be intimate like this with anyone else.

I detach myself from her lips and swallow even though my throat is dry. Preparing myself for my next words, "Teach me how to please you, Daisy."

Daisy looks shocked at first, widening her eyes because she didn't expect me to say them. She blinks a few times up at me, then nods her head. For the second time today, I watch Daisy slowly remove her lingerie from her body. This time, I don't try to distract myself and act like a gentleman. Daisy is under me, completely naked, and her beautiful body is on display for me and me only.

I want to touch her, but I'm not sure where she wants me to touch her. Luckily, Daisy is taking her role of the teacher as it is because she takes one of the hands holding me above her, and moves it between my legs. I gasp when I feel how wet Daisy already is. It feels like I'm touching a fricken ocean, she's so wet.

"Sorry, I know I'm really wet. It's kinda a problem."

I shake my head, not being able to form words, and Daisy bites her lip when she feels me start to explore.

I explore her crevices and become a faster learner. I listen for Daisy's heavy breathing and watch her face contort to know which parts of her she wants to be touched. Touching the bundle of nerves and feeling her thighs squeeze my hand when I start to probe at her entrance, seem to be her favorite part. She grabs at my shoulders as my finger smoothly enters her wet folds.

Daisy arches her back and buries her face into the pillow when I probe at one part inside of her. Her muffled moan against the pillow sounds so adorable, and it makes me fill with pride to know I'm making her feel good.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm s-sensitive too." I have to keep myself from humping her leg like a dog, her voice sounded so sexy. Watching Daisy come undone because what I'm touching is super sensitive has me wanting to do more.

I kiss her stomach. "Don't apologize for any of it." I kiss the valley between her breasts and speed up the movements of my fingers. "I think you look and feel really sexy."

I guess I pressed a certain nerve inside of her at that moment because she then arches her back and moans so loud my ears are ringing. Not ringing in a bad way, but ringing because I want to hear that sound on repeat for hours.

Seeing Daisy like this because of me gives me the confidence to take one of her rounded nipples in my mouth. I suck on the bud and hear Daisy moan again in return. She's ripping at my shoulders now, but I'm too focused on the feel of Daisy on my fingers, and her nipple in my mouth to notice she's trying to get my attention.

"N-Namjoon... Namjoon, please look at me." At her words, I detach from her nipple and look up at her tear-filled eyes. "Take this off, please. It's not fair that I'm the only one naked."

Daisy paws at my shirt, and I chuckle at the desperation in her voice. With one swift movement, I strip myself of my shirt. Daisy's blush is as deep as mine while she obviously ogles at my chest and abs. My abs aren't that deeply defined, but Daisy still presses her hand into the muscle and bites her lip when she likes what she feels.

"My turn," Was the only warning I got before Daisy flipped us over. I'm now on my back, and Daisy is startling my thighs. Our cores aren't touching anymore, but instead of holding herself on my chest, she decides to rub her palms across my crotch.

I bite my lip and hiss. Not wanting to make any embarrassing noises from just a simple rub like that. Daisy sees right through me, though. She quickly unbuckles and removes my pants and then my underwear, making my dick bounce onto my stomach when it's finally freed. Daisy licks her lips when she sees me, and I try my best to stop the blush that's wanting to spread to the rest of my skin.

I think she's about to do a million things, and I'm completely okay with any of the scenarios.

Will she put me in her mouth? I've always wondered how those pretty lips would look surrounding me. What about touching it with her hand? Those manicured fingers wrapping around me have been in many of my fantasies before.

Instead, she does neither. She moves so she's now on her knees above me, then gently picks up my member, and aims it at her core. Maybe she wants to get right to the main event, I think. But I'm wrong again. Daisy gently rubs her very wet core onto the tip of my dick, and we both let out uncontrollable moans from the contact.

She feels... perfect. I knew when I only touched her with my fingers that she would feel amazing, but this is fucking ecstasy at its peak. Daisy moves the tip of my dick back and forth between her folds, and I watch wide-eyed as it happens.

I pull at my hair and squeeze my eyes shut because just the sight is making me close to cumming all over again. I take some deep breaths and try to distract myself from the feeling of Daisy's wet pussy rubbing against me, but I repeatedly lose that battle as I watch my tip get closer and closer to entering her.

"God - fuck - Daisy... At this rate your going to have me cumming again!"

Daisy laughs, but it's muffled by another moan out of her when my dick rubs against her clit. She then presses the tip of me right at the center of her core, I watch her take a deep breath, then she slowly sits down until she bottoms out. Making all the nerves in my dick very aware of how good this feels.

I know I look ridiculous, but it feels so good to be inside of her that I'm squeezing the sheets in my hands, I have my head thrown back, and my mouth wide open. Not a sound is coming out of me, but it's because Daisy is taking up all my senses. Not even the mechanism of sound is able to work because of how Daisy feels.

When I - somehow - gain my composure again, I look at Daisy and see she's waiting for me. Waiting for me to give her the go-ahead. It should be me asking her this, but I nod my head regardless.

I watch Daisy slowly pull herself out of me, pause, and then slowly sit back down. I have to hold onto her hips to ground myself when she sits back down. I understand she's going slow so I don't cum right away, but I kinda feel bad that she's most likely feeling no pleasure from this. Although her breathing is going faster each time she sits back down on me, I want to hear her moaning my name like she did when I was fingering her.

So, when Daisy bottoms out, I flip her around back onto her back. I take both of her hands in mine and pin them to the mattress at the side of her head. I then thrust into her fast and deep, hearing the exact reaction from her I wanted.

"Namjoon!" Daisy moans with her eyes closed. I bite my lip and start fucking into her at full speed. Enjoying both the sounds she's making from her mouth and the wetness of her pussy.

I never thought I would fall in love with a girl so perfect. Since she's so wet I'm gliding in and out of her with ease. It's like she was the perfect fit for me. I'm close to cumming, but I try squeezing my fingers in hers and focusing on making her feel good.

It's only when I feel Daisy clench around me like a vice, that I start to lose that composure. Having to slow down and focus on making deep thrusts into one spot that's making her arch her back up into me.

God, she's so beautiful when she does that. She's so beautiful regardless!

"N-Namjoon~" My name on her lips even sounds beautiful. "I'm so close a-ag... don't stop!"

Wasn't planning on it. I let go of one of her hands and scoop her head up by the back of her neck. I smash our lips together and thrust into her like it's the last thing I'll do. Going faster and faster and faster!

But this just tips me over the edge. As Daisy is practically screaming into my mouth, I cum inside of her for the first time. I didn't want to cum yet, but Daisy screaming moans, the feeling of being inside of her, and the deep kiss makes me this way. I spill inside her, and I know it's a lot because I feel some of it jump out and hit my thigh.

After a couple more deep thrusts, I pull completely out of her and collapse on the mattress. We're both sweaty and exhausted messes now. I ask right away, worried about Daisy's state, "D-did I-... did I make you cum?"

Daisy, trying to control her breathing, then turns her head to face me and smiles. "Yes, Namjoon. Twice, actually."

And that answer is music to my ears.

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

The next morning, I woke up with my head on something soft and squishy. It wasn't a pillow though, so when I reached my hand out to see what it is, and I realized it had a belly button, my eyes shot open. I slowly pick up my head to not wake the person up, and when I look down to see a topless Daisy, all the memories from last night came flooding back.

Seeing Daisy at Lee club. Daisy pole dancing. Seeing her naked for the first time. Convincing her to leave with me. Us having sex for the first time. The way she moaned my name over and over again!

Oh my god, we had sex last night! Daisy... the most perfect, and beautiful woman who's ever walked this earth... had sex with me.

Even now, looking down at her, I still can't believe it. I lay my hand on her stomach where my head was once laying, and it just proves to me that she's indeed very much there when I lay my cheek on her smooth skin. I hear Daisy make a small moaning noise, so my eyes whip to her face. I move off of her stomach quickly and lay down properly next to her. Laying my head on my hand, so I can watch her slowly wake up.

Daisy squeezes her eyes more shut and shuffles around a little as she lets out a silent yawn. With a few smacks of her lips, she turns her body in my direction. Her eyes open wide when her face hits my bicep.

I now have Daisy's face laying on my arm, and my other hand is laying on the divot between her ribs and hip bone. She blinks as she turns her face to look up at me, and the cutest smile appears on her face, making me form my own smile in return.

I didn't think anything would top my list of cuteness other than puppies, but Daisy in the morning passes puppies with flying colors. She then wraps her arms around my bicep, cuddling that part of my arm, then says in the sweetest morning voice, "Good morning."

I feel like my heart could explode! Yup, I can definitely get used to her being around like this.

"Good morning, honey."

I watch Daisy blush at the pet name, something I'll be doing a lot more now because of this reaction, and I'm in the best mood because of it. But after a few blissful moments of us just cuddling each other, Daisy's smile falls.

"Oh my god, I left Lee club!" She sits up and covers her chest with the blanket. "O-oh my god. I-... I have to text M. I shouldn't have left, I-I-..."

"Daisy!" I practically shout when I realize Daisy is about to have a full-on anxiety attack over leaving Lee club. She turns to look at me, clutching the blanket to her chest like it will somehow protect her. "Relax. Come on, breath with me."

I then start taking deep breaths in and out, and Daisy mirrors me. Eventually, she calms down enough to no longer have to clutch onto the blanket as a lifeline.

"Why are you so worried about leaving there, and who's M?"

At first, I'm a little jealous of this "M" person she's so worried about, but then Daisy explains, "M is my friend. She's the other owner to Lee club, Felix's wife, and I just left her there high and dry."

"Why are you worried about Felix's wife?"

Daisy bites her lip, and she looks like she's about to tell me a deep secret. One that she's not sure she should tell me or not... but she does.

"She's the only reason I'm here. I came to this town with her because not much goes on in the town we lived in, but also because Felix is a really bad guy. Like, I mean, really bad. I came here to make sure he doesn't get all rage filled one day and kill her since no one will notice her missing here. He beats on her and... and... God, I shouldn't have left!"

Daisy puts her face in her hands, defeated.

"Hey, hey, hey now." I take Daisy's face in my hands, and because I can't help myself, I kiss her pouty lips. "If M is really your friend, she'll understand. That shit about Felix though, why doesn't she go to the police?"

Daisy just shakes her head, and I don't push further. It's not my business about what Daisy's friend does with her relationship, but it does worry me a little that Daisy works - used to work - with a guy like that. I knew he had a bad vibe to him, but now Daisy just confirmed the worst of the worst about him.

"I wasn't exactly Felix's favorite person, so he's probably glad I'm gone... I should still text her though."

"Do whatever you think is right."

Daisy then gets out of bed to grab her phone out of her purse, and I'm the lucky guy that gets to watch her strut around naked to do it. When she returns with her phone, she sees me eyeing her and grows a knowing smirk.

I watch as Daisy opens up her phone after sitting down back down on the bed, but she freezes before opening up her messages. She turns and looks at me with eyes full of wonder.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"If I do this, like really quit my job, will you keep your promise about getting me a job with your friend and support me until then? I don't need 24/7 care or anything like that, but it's going to be awhile until I'm back on my feet money wise."

What she just said actually brings a smile to my face. I don't think Daisy realizes how much I really love her. "I love you Daisy, and with that I'll do anything you need. You can even move in here... O-only if you want!"

Daisy starts to laugh when I have a mini freak out about asking her to move in, and then she peaks me on the lips. "Yes. I'll move in with you, Namjoon."

"R-really? You don't think it's moving to fast or anything?"

Daisy shakes her head and continues to smile that perfect smile at me. "No, Namjoon. I made up my mind last night about you." She drops her phone on the bed, startles my thighs, and then holds my face in her hands, staring deeply into my eyes as she says,

"And that is I love you too, Namjoon Kim. And I don't want to waste anymore time not being with you."

Holy shit...

I'm the luckiest guy alive!

-

-

-

Index | Ch.19

#r town #r town chapter 18 #chapter 18 #namjoon #rm #Namjoon x oc #Namjoon x reader #rm x oc #rm x reader #bts #bts namjoon #bts rm #euphoria #bts and euphoria #sweet namjoon

[bts-0t-7]

BTS | KNJ | FIC RECS

Here is the Namjoon Collection!! Just a few of my favourites. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do!

Dom daddy Joon, @joonsmagicshop (Namjoon/Reader Jungkook/Reader, daddy kink, masturbation)

Caramel, @casuallyimagining (fluff, angst, slice of life)

Oh, Honey!, @yoongiofmine (Fluff, angst, so much smut, strangers to lovers, sugar daddy au.)

What's left of us, @yoongiofmine (fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, exes au.)

Out of the woods, @angelicyoongie (fluff, angst, slight smut, wolf hybrid namjoon x human f!reader)

There's gonna be no take two, @sopebubbles (Idol!Kim Namjoon x reader, angst)

Reckless, @vyduan (angst, idolverse, friends to lovers, slow burn, canon compliant)

Drunk in love, @joon4eva (one-shot ; friends-to-lovers au)

Gift Wrapping, @btsqualityy (fluff, slice of life)

We have time, @souryoong (boyfriend!namjoon x reader, smut)

Prohibido, @personasintro (brother's best friend au, fluff, angst smut)

Bellisima, @personasintro (parents au, fluff, smut)

#namjoon x yn #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x oc #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x you #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x y/n #kim namjoon imagine #kim namjoon smut #fic rec #namjoon fic rec #rm x you #rm x reader #rm x y/n

[muniimyg]

NAKED // KNJ

note to self: take baths alone from now on

+

in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked

pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc 

au/genre:

(new) established relationship

non-idol au

fluff, crack, and smut

warnings:

explicit langauge and behaviour ...

cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes

THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

The water is colder than you expected. 

Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right. 

Oh well. 

There’s always next time, right?

Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology. 

Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds. 

“I hate baths.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“The bath salts went up my ass—”

Finally, you shush him.

“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”

Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.

It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is. 

So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in. 

Let’s try this again.

Relax.

You want to relax. 

That’s all you want to do.

It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face. 

“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.

In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”

“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who. 

He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?” 

You nod.

“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”

“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.” 

He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.

“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.

He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”

“Aren’t you turned on?”

“No.”

You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?” 

He gulps.

“It’s hard.”

“I thought you said it’s boring.”

Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”

You gasp. 

Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.

“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”

He cheers. 

“But I won’t move.”

“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks. 

You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls. 

“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”

Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.

He feels so good. 

… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.

You’re having a hard time too. 

Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.

“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”

“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”

You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.” 

Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after. 

“Then why do you do it?” 

This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him. 

“You love it and I love you—”

Your eyes widen.

Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words? 

You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first. 

As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop. 

“I love you too.”

Your breath hitches. “W-what?”

“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter. 

“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”

“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”

Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.

“I wanted it to be more romantic.”

Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”

You shake your head. 

“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”

“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”

“Fine.”

You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head. 

God, you’re so sexy.

With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for. 

You: naked and on top of him. 

But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs. 

“Say it.” 

He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles. 

“I love you, ___.”

You pout. 

He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”

“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”

He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”

“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.

“It’s just—”

“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”

His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”

Three times.

He said, “I love you,” three times now.

And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm. 

You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him. 

The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over. 

“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.

Nerd alert.

You grunt, “s-shut up.” 

As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him. 

“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks. 

For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last? 

“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”

He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.” 

Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones. 

After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual. 

As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again. 

“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”

“Haha,” you play along. “No.”

Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.” 

You can’t help but melt.

Oh, you’re so fucked.

You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.

Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.

#knj fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts imagine #bts one shot #bts boyfriend au #nam joon boyfriend #bts rm #bts rm smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x oc #namjoon fic #namjoon scenario #bts scenario #bts fluff #namjoon fluff

[hellish-sunsets]

Curses and Blessings - Chapter 1

Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 9

Summary:

When they found two souls who worked the best together, who would uplift each other to good, they would grasp those two souls at the moment of their birth. This touch would leave behind a mark, each mark varied and unique.

Was this supposed to be a blessing or a curse?

Word Count: 1420

Warning: self harm, self hate, depression

Read on AO3

(set up, baby!)

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When she was little, Charlie went to her father whenever she got the chance to hear him tell a story. Her mother would often tell her no, that he was too busy with important work, but if she managed to sneak away, sometimes she could get him to tell her stories. 

Her favorite was about the marks. 

He would say that once, a very very long time ago, the angels looked down upon humanity and saw their struggles. Sin had taken hold of them leading them astray and causing them to get lost. They worried and they fussed and they discussed, until finally they reached a decision. They could not interfere themselves. Now that humanity had the choice, they had to choose to be good themselves. But perhaps, if they had someone else who could help make them better, happier people, that would help.

So, they made a creature, not an angel and not a demon, with no wings for them to fly away and no eyes to see what was happening around them in the present. They took their creation to a room made just for them on top of the tallest tower in heaven, far away from anything and everything, away from the most holy of places and the most evil. They sealed the creature in, and left them for eternity.

So, they started their work. 

With the powers granted to them, they outstretched their hands, and in an instant they saw all the minds of all humanity. In a moment, they knew everyone’s thoughts and hearts. When they found two souls who worked the best together, who would uplift each other to good, they would grasp those two souls at the moment of their birth. This touch would leave behind a mark, each mark varied and unique. Some resembled pictures, others were just a swirl of color and lines, and only those two souls would match each other. 

At first, only humans received these soul marks. It made sense, they were the ones the angels deemed in need of this gift. But isolation leads one to thinking. They wondered why humanity were the only ones to receive such a gift. They knew that, locked away in their empty room in this tower so far away from existence, they knew no one could stop them. So, with a slight twist of their lips, if they did have any, they looked further. 

It wasn’t known who had the first soul mark outside of humanity, whether angel or demon, but it was made clear rather quickly that those naturally born in those realms would also be allowed this gift, though not quite as common. 

“And that is how we all got our marks.” Lucifer told Charlie with a loving smile, cradling the girl in his protective embrace. And every time, she would look up at him with those beautiful, big eyes of hers, full of so much wonder and innocence. He hoped it would never fade. She would giggle with excitement and look at her own mark, a swirl of color on her inner arm. She swore since she was young that it looked like two birds flying together, but he couldn’t see it. Not that it mattered much as long as she was happy. 

“I bet they’re the best person ever! I can’t wait to meet them!” She happily babbled on, and he hummed in agreement, resting his chin on top of her soft hair and returning to the scattered papers on his desk, the sound of the pen scratching against the paper mixing with the sound of his daughters happy chatter. His chest swelled with a never ending fountain of love. 

It was a memory he went back to often as the years turned harsh and empty. In the moments when he felt just as isolated as that poor creature he told Charlie stories about so long ago. In the deadest moments of the night, when it was just him curled up in his far-too-large bed, he sank into those warm memories like a comforting embrace. But it hurt just as much as helped, a reminder of what he had lost and, he believed in his darkest moments, what he would never have again. 

Some nights he would glare at his own mark with red, tear filled eyes. Other nights, it was with a deep longing, the faintest of hopes he knew was pointless and painful. 

When the marks had started appearing so long ago, they appeared only on humans who were just born. Even when the shift happened, it still only appeared with the birth of the demon or angel. Those few who existed before the marks first appeared simply did not get one. For whatever reason, you had to be born with it. 

But Lucifer was not born with his. The only one to just have it appear, as far as he knew. He remembered little about when it happened, but he could vividly recall the sight of when it formed. It was a burst of color, like golden ink sliding up his arm from his wrist and dancing across the pale skin of his arm. He remembered the awe, the confusion, the anxiety, as those golden lines sank into his skin and settled into an array of gold, orange, and pink, like a sunset. It was beautiful, and terrifying. That was when he started wearing the gloves. It was several days before they got the news from heaven about the marks appearing on non-humans.

Of course, he couldn’t hide it from Lillith forever. At the time he thought they had worked through it. He was adamant they could still love eachother deeply despite this mark. The likelihood of him even ever meating whoever this person was was next to impossible. She had his whole heart, his everything. And she seemed to accept it. 

But when she left so many, many years later, that mark, that damned mark, was at the top of her list of reasons. She could only spit out that she was clearly not meant for him as stormed out with Charlie in her arms, his little girl, his world, staring back at him with wide, fear filled eyes. 

And then they were just,,, gone.

He never thought much of the mark until then, his claws digging into the tainted skin as he sobbed and wailed through the night, begging to that being in that damned tower to take it away, to bring back his family. What was the point of it, of any of this?

Was this supposed to be a blessing or a curse? Everyone else considered it a blessing, a promise that someone was out there for them, a hope that they could one day find their better half. 

But there was no such thing for him. He had love, he had a wife, he had his daughter, everything he could ever want. All this damned mark did was take that from him, ruin his life. He was sure it was punishment for his disobedience. He deserved it after he cursed humanity to sin and evil. He didn’t deserve happiness, didn’t deserve love

Still, he couldn’t stop the anger that bubbled up as he sat alone in bed, glaring at the sunset of colors. The finger that was absentmindedly tracing the lines of color flexed, claw digging into his skin, a line of blood falling from the puncture and dripping onto the white sheets. His face twisted, a mix of fury and pain as he sank all five claws into his arms, tearing, Tears streamed down his face as a sob tore through his lungs. The sheets were stained in gold once more, and he almost felt sorry for the cleaning staff. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he keep himself together for fucking once in his life? 

He knew he was spiraling, but he couldn’t stop. It was only what he deserved, the pain, the injury. Eventually he collapsed onto the mattress, sobbing and gasping, staring at the mess that once was his arm. At least the mark was gone. And yet, he knew it would be back by morning. The damage would heal over and the mark would remain, the reminder of all his failings and downfalls, a reminder of just how worthless and undeserving he was of anything but pain and loneliness and disappointment. 

The bloodloss forced a heaviness on his body and his eyes slid closed, sleep finally taking him into a realm of emptiness.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #reader insert #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #lucifer magne x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel reader insert #self h@rm #soulmate au #curses and blessings #hazbin hotel soulmate au #reader insert oc #hazbin lucifer x oc #hazbin hotel lucifer x oc

[mischas]

I've known it from the very start We're a shot in the darkest dark

#theocedit #00sedit #tvandfilm #dailytvsource #teendramaedit #teendramasource #romancegifs #ryan x marissa #the oc #marissa cooper #ryan atwood #usercallie #tusermanon #* #rm x ts #listen if i have to suffer so do u all #season 3 #3x25

[magicshopaholic]

Moving On (Namjoon x OC)

Summary: BTS performs in Amsterdam and Namjoon invites you to the afterparty.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Angst, smut

Word count: 8.2K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, angst, sex, nudity, making out, fingering, cumming, arguing,

A/N: Takes place a little over a month after Final Destination.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2,  @margopinkerton, @faearchives,  @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @sumzysworld, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: "where does the good go" by tegan and sara

namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

Joon [13:45] Did you get the email from Big Hit?

Kaya [13:50] Yes

Joon [13:51] The number at the end is their London office. They’ve been briefed already and have additional security available for all European locations.

Kaya [13:54] Okay

There’s a break in the chat here. Kaya stares at the time stamp, trying to picture him scrambling to find something else to say.

Joon [14:15] The company managed to track down the account that uploaded the video. Account has been taken down and they’ve sued for invasion of privacy.

Kaya [14:20] Okay 

Joon [14:22] They’ve also offered to add damages to the suit, in case we want that. Do you?

Kaya [14:25] Not really

Joon [14:26] Okay then

Another break. Kaya scans the time stamps again, even though she’s memorised it by now. She remembers the three dots indicating him typing, seeing them appear and disappear over and over again. 

Joon [14:40] How are you?

Kaya [14:45] Fine

Joon [14:46] How‘s work?

Kaya [14:48] Fine

Joon [14:50] Kaya I’m trying

Kaya [14:51] Class starting, got to go

He hadn’t responded and she hadn’t expected him to. Four days post break-up hadn’t been nearly long enough for her to let go of her anger but now, four weeks in, it’s only been replaced with an equal amount of sadness and longing.

Every conversation has been exactly this terse and abrupt, the last one being a week ago. It had appeared when she’d been teaching an elective class and it had taken every ounce of her will to not check it until the class ended. As it turned out, she couldn’t even think of a decent response to it.

“How can he possibly think of asking me this?” Kaya mutters, earphones in as she walks home. It’s dusk, a gorgeous time of the day, but she holds no appreciation for it right now.

“Wouldn’t it be worse if he didn’t ask?” Dilara asks reasonably. She’s in her car by the sound of it, a low hum audible of whichever fancy car of hers she’s decided to take out today.

Kaya swallows, pondering this. It might be, but it doesn’t address the problem she’s too embarrassed to voice out loud: it should be harder for him to ask. The thought that he might not be taking this break-up as hard as she is kills something inside of her, as if she’d misunderstood everything in the last three years. 

Her strategy to save herself from hearing the truth had been to distance herself from everyone, including Yoongi, who had texted her out of the blue one day to ask her if she was okay (she hadn’t responded); Seokjin, who seemed to skirt the topic altogether and sounded as though he was speaking to someone very sick; and especially Dilara, who Kaya knew would be the only one with the capacity to ask insightful questions that she herself was too afraid to.

“It’s just… strange,” is all she can manage. “He hopped on a flight, shot a few emails, came over and broke up with me and then went right back to his schedule, all in one day. And now he's inviting me to a party?"

“After-party, so it won’t be, like… crazy,” Dilara clarifies. “And the concert before it.” 

“I’m definitely not going to his concert.”

“Of course not,” she agrees breezily. “I wouldn’t expect you to. But the party… I mean, it’s a good thing, isn’t it? He doesn’t want you to be strangers.”

Kaya slows down as she approaches the river. She’s taken the long route home today - anything to prolong the commute before another night in her tainted apartment with memories on every surface.

“I don’t know if I want to see him.” I don’t know if I can. “He wants to see me, though, apparently,” she states after a moment.

Dilara doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I mean -“ She begins before pausing, then trying again. “I’m sure it’s going to be torture for him to see you. But even that’s better than not seeing you.”

Kaya doesn’t even realise she’d been holding her breath; she exhales as slowly as possible so as to not make a sound, both at Dilara’s words as well as her answering the unasked question.

She doesn’t respond immediately, though. Now that they’re down this route of addressing concerns she’s been harbouring in her heart for weeks, Kaya feels the rest of them on the verge of tumbling out of her mouth.

"You've seen him a bit these last couple of months,” she ventures, lowering her voice and leaning backwards against the railing overlooking the river. “Does it seem like he misses me at all?"

Dilara hums, a little too knowingly for Kaya’s liking. “Of course, he does. He’s not the most expressive when it comes to his feelings but aside from Tae last year, I don't think I've met a more miserable person."

Kaya waits for the swell of happiness or relief at this news, but all it brings with it is a new wave of anger and frustration.

“Thanks.”

"Look, speaking from experience, it's not easy seeing your ex after a difficult break-up,” says Dilara, sighing. “But sometimes you don't realise just how much you needed to see them until you see them, even if it's just to gain some closure."

Closure. It sounds… final. Kaya can’t picture it, being virtual strangers eventually, just bits of each other’s past. Ex-boyfriend, girl of his dreams, the one that got away. She hates all those words because they just don’t apply, not really. They can’t.

She closes her eyes and presses the heel of her palms into them to intercept the wetness forming, not caring that Dilara is still on the other end of the line. She and Namjoon had stood right here, years ago, living in the bliss of a new couple in fresh love. He’d brought her a bunch of tiny yellow flowers from the park, part-cheesy and part-genuine, eyes twinkling and dimples soft.

Kaya squeezes her eyes shut at the memory, terrified at how the edges of it are already blurring. 

“I don’t think I’ll go,” she murmurs, opening her eyes to stare at the ground. “I can’t.” 

“Are you sure?” Dilara sounds slightly surprised.

“Yeah. Two days from now is… it’s too soon. I’ll either cry or yell or… I don’t know. It’s too hard.”

“Oh.” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. If you’re sure. Let me know if you want to get together on Sunday,” she adds. “Brunch or something.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

—

The next day, Kaya is in the library again, grading papers and wishing she could go back to being a grad student who’s biggest problem was a pop quiz. She’s deliberately chosen a table at the back, away from where the students generally sit, which is why she looks up in surprise when someone comes to her table.

“H-hi, Kaya.” The student waves rests one hand on the back of an empty hair and waves hesitantly with the other.

“Um… hi.” Kaya tries not to frown too conspicuously, for she’s sure she knows this girl. 

Svetlana. Savannah. 

“Elena, right?”

“Yeah,” she answers with a nervous smile. “Um… are you busy?”

Kaya glances at the stacks of papers, books and laptop on the table. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Okay. Well… I just wanted to say hi.”

Kaya nods awkwardly and forces a small smile on her face. “Hi.”

Elena nods, tucking her hair behind her ears. She looks like she’s about to leave but at the last moment, sits down at the table. Kaya feels her smile fade for she really, really wants to be alone right now.

“How - how are things going?” She sounds nervous - extremely so. She seems to be fidgeting slightly and constantly touching her hair. 

“Great,” says Kaya shortly, going back to her paper and hoping she’ll take the hint. “You?”

“Not bad, overall. I guess. Classes are hard and mid-terms are coming up as well…” Elena trails off. “Any plans for the weekend?”

Trying not to sigh, Kaya shakes her head. “Not really. You?”

“Well… I’m going to a concert tomorrow,” she answers hurriedly, and it’s clear that she’s been waiting to divulge this information, oblivious to how Kaya’s heart stops. “It should be fun. Do - do you listen to BTS?”

An unexpected notification from this morning floats into her kind. BTS continues their Europe leg by arriving in Amsterdam, ready to kick off the summer in style!

“No,” she answers truthfully.

“Oh.” Elena is quiet for a moment. “They’re really… good.” 

There’s some awkward silence during which Kaya deliberately writes comments on the paper she’s grading, scratching the pen on the paper and wishing Elena would leave.

“It’ll be good to get out of campus. The people here are kind of intimidating. The parties are pretty wild, too,” she murmurs after a moment, sounding uncomfortable.

Kaya nods absently, uncharacteristically satisfied with the knowledge that she might be intimidating this unwanted guest. “Maybe you’re going to the wrong parties,” she offers.

Elena lets out a nervous laugh again. “Maybe. I never see you at them, though. There’s one, tonight, in the common room. Maybe you could come,” she suggests lightly. “Bring a friend or - or your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she answers flatly, not looking up.

“You - oh.” There’s a note of surprise in her voice. “Oh,” she repeats, this time seemingly to herself. “Are you sure?” she blurts out.

Kaya’s eyes snap up to glare at her. “Pretty sure.”

Elena’s eyes widen. “Oh, of - of course,” she stutters. “Sorry, that - that was a stupid question. Sorry.” She swallows and looks at her lap.

Kaya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at an innocent bystander in this situation. “Elena, I… I really need to get these papers done,” she tells her, her voice one of forced calm. “So…”

The blonde finally seems to understand and awkwardly stands up. “Okay. Um, see you around,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear again. 

Kaya nods as she leaves, Namjoon’s invitation swimming in her mind tantalisingly. She can’t ignore it anymore, the fact that they’re in the same city, her city. If she’s not wrong, he’ll do the concert tomorrow night, the group will probably stay the night and depart by Sunday afternoon or evening and she will probably never see him again.

She attempts to continue grading the paper she was working on when Elena interrupted, but when she finds herself reading the same stupid sentence for the fourth time without retaining anything, she begins packing up, ready to head home.

—

Joon [18:42] Hope to see you there tonight

Kaya, with a loss as to how to respond to this, simply did not. She can’t imagine he would be texting her during his concert, but she also knows he has before, if the situation was urgent enough to demand it. 

She straightens the black dress against her hips and tilts her head at her reflection. It’s a simple dress, plain black, form-fitting and reaching below her knees, but it’s quite possibly the most gorgeous, sexiest dress she owns. 

If she and Namjoon were together, she would have worn it tonight with no hesitation because it would have driven him insane. After weeks of being apart, seeing her in this dress would have rendered him incapable of staying in work mode without dirty texts, flirty touches and eyes from across the room undressing her. Even now, with a bare face, her hair tied into a loose bun and no footwear, the dress is a game-changer.

She gives herself a few moments to imagine this paradise, one that might have come true tonight had she never told him about the break-in. Then, she silently unzips the dress and climbs out of the black fabric pooled around her feet. Tucking it back into her closet, she looks for something else.

Dilara [18:50] In case you change your mind, sharing the location here [Location]

Dilara’s text had come minutes after Namjoon’s, and Kaya has to imagine it was a genuine coincidence. Although she’d replied to neither, it was the second text that caused her to change her mind - that, and the lingering fear that if she didn’t go today, she didn’t know how either of them would be able to maneuver a situation to see each other again.

The concert should end in a little over an hour. Her phone pings again and she groans, for she doesn’t think she can take any more of their unsubtle attempts at convincing her to go tonight. It’s not Namjoon or Dilara, though, but Adam Fischer, her thirty-something thesis advisor, asking if she wants to discuss the coming week’s class schedule tonight.

Kaya shakes her head as she types out a reply (Sorry, I can’t tonight. Will set up a meeting for first thing Monday if that’s okay?), a little rueful. Namjoon heavily disliked Adam, despite having no concrete reason for doing so. He’d always suspected Adam of having feelings for her, even though Adam hadn’t said or done anything to make her think he might. Part of her wonders if she could somehow ditch the party for this meeting and still make sure that the news travelled to Namjoon through the grapevine (Dilara), and if that would still piss him off even now.

She immediately cringes at the pettiness of it, however, sending her reply to Adam and heading into the shower.

The party is at the rooftop restaurant of the hotel next to the concert venue, and presumably where BTS is staying while in Amsterdam. It isn’t as crowded as she was anticipating, although the music is fairly loud. It looks more like a fancy houseparty, and even a few seconds in, Kaya can spot a handful of vaguely famous people in attendance. She looks around for a familiar face, preferably Dilara or Yoongi or one of the younger boys, wishing she’d called ahead and trying not to think about the fact that in spite of not RSVP-ing, her name was on the guest list.

She takes another hesitant step in and audibly sighs when she spots Taehyung, who, for reasons best known to himself, has accessorised his outfit with an ascot. He seems to be in an animated conversation with Jungkook, while standing in between them and facing ahead, with loose curls tumbling down her shoulders and looking slightly bored, is…

“Kaya!”

Dilara’s mouth forms her name over the music as she brushes past her boyfriend and his friend and hurries towards Kaya, looking both happy and relieved to see her. “You look hot!” she exclaims when she reaches her.

“Oh -” Kaya looks down self-consciously; she’d settled for a straight strapless top and jeans, unable to justify dressing sexier without seeming like she was trying too hard for her ex-boyfriend. “Thanks. And you look…” She frowns slightly at Dilara’s mini-dress and go-go boots, with a slightly out-of-place gold ring hanging around her neck. “... like Daphne Blake.”

Dilara’s face visibly falls. “I look like a cartoon character?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Well, a very pretty cartoon character,” she adds quickly. “Especially with the headband. But… why?”

She rolls her eyes. “Taehyung picked it - but I’m sure it’s not because of Daphne Blake.” Spotting Kaya’s confused expression, she shrugs sheepishly. “We got into an argument yesterday about who has better taste, so we decided to go shopping at The Nine Streets and pick each other’s outfits for tonight.”

Kaya raises her eyebrows, something seemingly clicking into place. “So the ascot is your doing?”

“M-hm.” She nods in satisfaction before her eyes widen. “Oh, hey! An ascot - like Fred!” She lets out a low whistle at this realisation and laughs, while Kaya nods knowingly, feeling the urge to smile for the first time in what feels like weeks. “Not planned but zero regrets. I wonder if Tae knows that - oh.”

Kaya cuts her off mid-sentence with a hug, suddenly immensely grateful for Dilara. She can’t remember the last time she’d let anyone into her life this much with the exception of Namjoon; but just maybe, when she’d been happy with him and her guard had been lowered, Dilara had slipped in without warning as well.

She tightens her arms around Kaya and rubs her back. “It’s good to see you, too,” she says, sounding part-surprised and part-delighted. “It’s been a while but I promise that we will still - oh, hey.” The change in tone is abrupt. “Incoming.”

By the way her voice immediately lowers, Kaya is sure she knows what Dilara is referring to. Her heart beating a mile a minute, she pulls away from the hug and turns as casually as she can.

Her first thought is that he looks thinner - visibly so. Well, he’s on tour, says a voice in her head but Kaya suspects that’s not the only reason, for he’d been on tour when he’d broken up with her as well.

His hair is a silvery blond, looking almost metallic; dressed simply in a black T-shirt and  jeans, he runs a hand through his hair so it falls gracefully around his face as he approaches her, his face unreadable.

“Hi,” he says, and it sounds like all the breath has been let out of him with just one word. He swallows and straightens his shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face, the dimple faintly visible. “It’s good to see you, Kaya.”

Kaya nods, unable to speak and overcome with a sudden urge to cry. “You, too,” she murmurs, glancing at the floor and blinking rapidly before looking back up at him, a bit defiantly.

“I’m glad you decided to come.”

She nods again, her chest twisting at how normal he sounds. He’s standing far away from her as well, as though to make it clear in every way possible that they’re not together. 

“Hope you had a good concert,” she ventures, recalling the grad student who’d accosted her yesterday, practically beside herself at attending a BTS concert. “Backstage must have been hectic.”

A flicker of something appears in his eyes for a moment, possibly with memories of backstage. Wishes of luck, last minute hugs, sweaty and passionate kisses fueled by adrenaline. But it disappears instantly and Kaya wonders if she imagined it.

“It was,” he answers, nodding. He slides his hands into his pockets smoothly, leaning back on his heels and his smile widening a little. “But worth it as always. The crew did well.”

Kaya doesn’t even bother nodding this time; all of a sudden, she regrets coming here tonight. Dilara has left, she just realises, and Namjoon is acting like they’re acquaintances at best, making her feel stupid and yet immensely grateful that she didn’t wear the sexy black dress.

At that moment, his eyes flicker to something behind her. “I’m sorry, I just need to go and say hi to a couple of people. But enjoy your night. It’s an open bar,” he adds, smiling and nodding politely before brushing past her and walking away.

Kaya doesn’t move; she doesn’t think she can. Something heavy feels like it’s settled on her chest, the weight of confusion, disbelief and crushing disappointment threatening to suffocate her. She has no idea what she’d been expecting; maybe arguing, fighting, crying together again - but not him not caring. Not this.

Namjoon continues walking in the opposite direction for as long as he can keep Kaya in his peripheral vision, both guilty and relieved when she doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t think he can look her in the eye if she does, witness the pain and hurt in her face that close.

He catches Seokjin’s eye and hurries over to him. Seokjin raises his eyebrows and seems to guess what might have transpired, ushering him over to the other end of the circular bar and out of Kaya’s line of sight.

“How did it go?”

Namjoon rests his palms on the bar and shakes his head, no words coming to him at the moment and feeling like he could throw up. He can’t fathom how he did it, how he stood there before her and didn’t immediately pull her to him, or break down and ask her to forgive him for doing the only thing he knew to do.

“Drink this.” Seokjin slides a glass to him and Namjoon takes it without hesitation, taking a huge gulp and waiting for it to sting his sinuses. 

“This is water,” he states hoarsely, frowning at the glass.

“Cold water,” corrects Seokjin. “It’ll help clear your head.”

Namjoon takes another sip and places the glass down, dropping his head into his hands. “I can’t do this. How do I tell her I can’t do this? How do I ask her to -“ But he breaks off here, his mind swimming with the sight of her bare shoulders and exposed collarbones, imagining how they would feel if he held her.

“Okay.” Seokjin exhales through his nose and pauses. “Look, I have to ask. You’ve seen the state she is in. And you’re…” He struggles for a moment “...like this. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to ask her to get back -“

“No.” The answer is instant, although it’s partly a habit by now. As he does every time his mind tries to convince him otherwise, Namjoon forces the memory of her phone call to the forefront of his mind, the fear in her voice and  devastation on her face when he’d entered her apartment.

“But maybe this is -“

“No.” 

Seokjin is silent and Namjoon can tell that he doesn’t approve. Please don’t ask me again, hyung. He doesn’t know if he did the right thing by inviting her but he couldn’t imagine not doing it either, not being right here in her city, knowing she was so close that he could almost smell the coconut and vanilla in the air and still not see her in the flesh.

“If you’re sure,” says Seokjin at last. “If you are, then I guess you did well. Just… just be normal around her. Keep a normal distance, talk about normal things and…” He half-shrugs, sounding uncertain. “She’s smart. She’ll understand. If you’re sure you want to do this, then… she’ll get it.”

Normal. Namjoon knows what he means, but he wants to tell him that none of this is normal. Not touching her, not being honest with her, not being with her - none of it is normal. 

“She’s talking to Yoongi right now,” he adds, and Namjoon turns to see them near the stairs to the top floor. Kaya’s back is to him, her head lowered slightly and her thumbs hooked onto the back pockets of her jeans, the material hugging her hips and curving down her backside… He swallows and looks away.

“This is your chance,” says Seokjin. “Go and mingle. Let her see you moving on - even if you actually aren’t,” he clarifies quickly. “It won’t be pleasant but it might encourage her to do the same.”

Namjoon isn’t sure of the wisdom of this strategy but ever since the cause of his break-up had been revealed to the older members (and surely to Taehyung at least, by Dilara), he’d almost been relieved that he wouldn’t have to make every decision on his own.

He tries his best to navigate the party after that, making empty conversation with guests, using every bit of remaining energy and willpower to plaster a smile on his face. All the while, part of his attention is constantly on Kaya, registering her familiar figure alone at the bar as she nurses a beer, sometimes with Dilara. 

Be normal. Seokjin’s words start holding less and less meaning with every passing minute, especially when he spots Kaya having finished her drink and he’s struck with the sudden fear that she will leave the party. In an effort to be as normal as he can, Namjoon heads over to the bar where she’s scanning the life-size menu half-heartedly, arms folded across her chest.

“Like anything?” he asks humbly. Long Island Iced Tea or a Mai Tai - depends on the flavours. His heart jolts when she shoots him a doubtful look and doesn’t answer, almost as if she’s wary of talking to him. She leans over the bar and gives the bartender a smile that makes his heart drop, especially when he grins back.

“Komt de mai tai in mango?” she asks, half-pouting when he shakes his head. “Een biertje, alsjeblieft,” she says finally, taking her second beer and turning away from the bar.

Namjoon doesn’t remember ever feeling this distant from her. “I’m glad you came tonight,” he tries again, choosing to look at her even though she’s facing away.

Kaya nods, pursing her lips and looking ahead. “Yeah, you said that already.” But her voice trembles ever so slightly, or maybe he just knows her so well that he’s sure it’s not a case of her not wanting to look at him - she can’t look at him.

It’s all on him now. He started this; if there is any hope of them still staying in each other’s lives, it’s down to him to make it happen. 

“How’s your dissertation going?” he asks, hoping her work is a topic she might open up on.

She shrugs after a moment. “Off schedule,” she answers shortly. “A lot of variables hanging in the air.”

“Did you get into the research project you’d applied for?”

It’s momentary but it appears: the corner of her mouth tilts upwards. “Yeah,” she admits, finally looking at him, albeit hesitantly. “Guess I’ll have a lot more time to focus on it now,” she murmurs, the hint of a smile fading.

Namjoon’s heart sinks. She’s so angry with him; it’s palpable and not something he has ever been on the receiving end of. Her hand hangs by her side; his own itches to link his fingers with his, maybe tug her to him or lead her out of this stupid party where he can plead for her to just look at him.

“Well,” he says, then pauses. “I’m glad you could get the time off tonight. Must have been hard.”

“M-hm, not really.” She shakes her head. “Adam wanted to meet but I’ll probably catch up with him later,” she adds nonchalantly.

Namjoon nods, his hand tightening around his glass. He can’t tell if she’s trying to provoke him, for they do work closely; close enough that Adam’s intentions have always been a point of disagreement for them. He’d never been able to explain to her just how much he hated the way her advisor looked at her when she didn’t notice, how his hugs always lingered a moment too long or how he insisted on calling her late in the evenings to discuss work.

He’s distracted momentarily by Jungkook, who approaches them while bopping effortlessly to the music and stops in between them, turning to face in the same direction as Namjoon and Kaya. He’s definitely tipsy; the smile on his face is too big and he doesn’t seem to be reading the room at all.

“Dilara is a really good dancer, isn’t she?” he says loudly in English to no one in particular. Namjoon frowns and follows his gaze to see Dilara, Taehyung and Hoseok dancing, before turning back to look at Jungkook. On his other side, Kaya is also frowning at him, tilting her head curiously. Their eyes meet and she raises her eyebrows slightly.

Namjoon fights a smile as Kaya half-chuckles and looks away, his heart twisting with longing at how much he misses her. She looks so incredibly beautiful; his eyes sting when he realises that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“I’m gonna -“ He gestures vaguely and walks away in the opposite direction, desperate to be anywhere but around her before his resolve breaks.

The next half hour is a flurry of faces; Namjoon distracts himself with every single individual at the party, making small talk and exchanging unfunny jokes and hyper aware of Kaya occasionally glancing at him.

He knows, because he’s watching her, too, doing his best to make sure she doesn’t see him looking. He can’t even help it; it’s almost muscle memory at this point.

“Who are you looking at?” The woman he’s talking to asks him point-blank.

Namjoon flushes, realising he’d been staring at Kaya over her shoulder while she’d been speaking.

“No one,” he answers quickly. “Sorry.”

The twenty-something woman frowns curiously. “Are you sure? I’m not offended.”

“It’s… nothing.” He shakes his head and looks at the floor. 

“Ex-girlfriend?”

Ex. Not trusting himself to speak, Namjoon nods. 

“Hm.” She hums, somewhat sympathetically. “Bad break-up?”

“Pretty bad.”

“I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “It’s never easy to be around an ex if it hasn’t ended well.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, desperate to change the topic. “All part of the process, right?”

“Right,” she says encouragingly. “Plus, once you’re past this phase, the one where you constantly want to die, you can begin the drink and eat and hook up as much as you want stage with no judgement.”

He chuckles politely, the prospect sounding horrendous. “Thanks. Feels good to laugh for real.”

She smiles wider and, before he knows it, leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips.

It takes Namjoon a couple of seconds of pure shock before he jumps backwards. “Whoa. What -“ His heart races uncomfortably. “What was that?”

“Sorry,” she says slowly, looking a little confused. “I thought… you wanted to make your ex jealous. Isn’t that where you were going with this?”

“No,” he clarifies immediately. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to - no.” In the midst of his minor crisis, he notes how the woman looks almost mortified.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, suddenly feeling horribly guilty. He looks up out of habit and sees, unmistakably, Kaya leaving the restaurant, her long dark hair and the shimmery dark blue of her top disappearing out the door.

—

The night has gotten chillier in the last couple of hours and the cool wind hits her bare shoulders the moment she steps out, but Kaya barely feels it. She’s not thinking right now; thinking is what’s got them here, thinking about everything and overthinking to the point of fleeing a restaurant.

“Kaya!” 

Her feet increase their pace automatically the same time her stomach flips, but he’s taller and faster and he reaches her before she can even reach the elevator.

“Kaya,” he repeats hurriedly, reaching and grabbing her elbow. “Wait, please. I’m sorry -”

“Why did you even invite me here?” she asks, cutting him off and turning around to face him. She’s so tired; she didn’t think break-ups could be this exhausting. “You’ve barely said anything to me. Was it to show me in person how you’re moving on? Because if that’s the case, then… message received.”

Namjoon shakes his head immediately; he looks exhausted as well, and Kaya is once again struck by how much thinner he is, overcome with a mixture of empathy and frustration at him. 

“That was not - I didn’t plan that,” he says, sighing. “I don’t even know who she is. She kissed me and it wasn’t… come on, does it look like I’m moving on?” he asks, raising his arms helplessly.

Kaya stares at him and then sighs, shaking her head. “Why did you invite me here?” she asks again, less defensive this time.

“Because I wanted to see you,” he says at once.

She stares at him. “Well, you’ve seen me,” she says, sniffing. “Can I go now?”

“Kaya…”

“What?”

Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, looking lost for words. “Please don’t -“ He breaks off abruptly before taking a step closer to her, his height both large and comforting. “I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry.”

Too late. “You’re not supposed to care how I feel. Not anymore.”

He lets out a humourless chuckle. “What?”

“We’re over.” She can hear the tremble in her voice as she crosses her arms across her chest again. “You said it yourself. You’re not supposed to care how I feel.”

“Really?” He narrows his eyes at her. “You think this break-up had anything to do with how I feel about you? You know as I do that it didn’t.” When she doesn’t answer, he sighs. “I did this because I care.”

“If you say so.”

He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Are you deliberately trying to provoke me or something?”

“Provoke you into what?” she blurts out. “What - what is that you want, exactly? What do you want us to do? Just circle around in each other’s orbits for the rest of our lives, while still being - while still feeling the way we do?” she asks, avoiding her almost-slip of tongue. “We’re just supposed to stay not be together and still stay in each other’s lives? What - what do you want?”

Namjoon opens his mouth but falls silent; it’s clear he hasn’t thought that far ahead - or he can’t say it out loud. “I want…” He begins, before pausing and starting again. “I want… you to be happy,” he says eventually. “And safe.” 

She scoffs and he bristles. 

“I’m serious. I -” He breaks off when someone exits the restaurant, his gaze following them until they’re out of sight before he turns back to her. “This is hard for me, too, you know? Why is it so hard for you to believe I might want you to be happy?”

Kaya exhales but doesn’t answer, because it isn’t hard to believe, not even a little bit. It’s unfortunately the most believable thing he’s ever said to her which means she can’t even fight it.

“How?” she asks finally. “By moving on, like you were pretending to do?”

Namjoon bites his lip and his eyes glaze over, and she knows he’s picturing it. His eyes fall to the floor but he nods slowly anyway. “Yeah, I guess. As long as I don’t have to watch it,” he adds in a mutter.

It’s really over. Kaya feels her eyes well up. “Fine,” she answers quietly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find someone to move on with tonight.” She turns to leave but feels him stop her again. “What?” she snarls.

“Kaya, I -” The lift opens and a handful of people tumble out, holding merchandise and talking loudly. Namjoon’s eyes widen and he immediately grabs her arms and walks her back into a corner, just as the group turns into their corridor and towards the restaurant.

“What are you -”

But the second lift opens just then and they hear the sound of a second group of voices. Namjoon swears under his breath and pushes open a door behind her, walking her back further into the tiny dark room and letting the door swing shut behind him.

“What is wrong with -“

“It’s press,” he hisses, and she falls silent.

He peers out into the corridor through the small window in the door; there’s no light except for the bit through the window and from a skylight in the ceiling. Kaya can smell something vaguely citric that she decides is floor cleaner; they are in a janitor’s closet.

She and Namjoon are frozen in place, his hands still on her arms and hers on his torso to keep from losing her balance. It’s been a long time since they’ve been this close; it takes Kaya a few seconds to realise that the voices outside have disappeared, but he still hasn’t moved away.

Almost as if he’s subconsciously heard her, his thumbs stroke her arm once. The simple touch makes all the anger crumble away for a moment, especially now that it’s just them with the rest of the world shut outside. Kaya hesitates for a moment, then gently rests her forehead on his shoulder. Namjoon stiffens but a moment later, she feels his fingers tighten above her elbows, followed by him loosely enveloping her in his arms.

It seems cruel, almost, that the target of her anger and source of her comfort lie in the same person. It isn’t even a hug; it’s a moment of weakness at best, borne from his almost subconscious need to protect her. For the first time, Kaya wonders if she’s being unfair to him.

Resisting the temptation to wrap her arms around his waist, she steps away from him with difficulty, her back touching the wall. His arms fall from around her reluctantly, his expression resigned. It’s dark but she can see him more clearly than she has all night.

“This is a terrible idea,” she murmurs, echoing her words from a month ago. “The worst you’ve ever had.”

Namjoon exhales shakily but doesn’t argue. “I meant everything I said in that note,” he says, not even trying to hide the tremble in his voice anymore. “And I really do want you to be happy.”

The note. The one he’d kept on her bedside table when he’d left her apartment while she slept, the only thing of his that was left when she’d awoken, naked and alone. She’d only had the strength to read it once before she’d broken down and tucked it deep into her drawer, knowing the words would be etched in her memory.

“You know what will make me happy,” she whispers, looking at the ground. She feels him come closer to her, one hand hovering by her side as though unable to decide if she’d want her to touch him. 

He finally rests it lightly on her waist, moving it slightly upward as she looks up at him, her heart twisting at how he’s unable to meet her eyes. She places her hands on his face, thinking vaguely how much she misses seeing his dimple.

“Joon,” she whispers, waiting for him to nod once. “Look at me.”

Namjoon visibly swallows, gaze still fallen. “Kaya, I…”

“No,” she interrupts him. “Look at me.”

With what seems like an enormous effort, he meets her eyes. This is hard for me too, you know? 

She knows. Kaya strokes his cheekbones with her thumbs, her touch feather-light. “Kiss me,” she whispers. She touches her forehead to his and closes her eyes, hoping he’ll give in, for she can’t go further than this. 

His hand tightens around her waist, pressing her into the wall. Their lips brush momentarily and he shivers.

“Do it,” she urges, her voice barely audible now. “Kiss me.”

She feels his lips before she even registers him moving against her and she leans into it, feeling like she can breathe for the first time in weeks. Come back to me, she thinks desperately. Come back to where you belong.

It’s like he can hear her. Namjoon pulls away, one hand on the wall beside her face for support, the other holding her.

“Fuck,” he whispers, and it sends a jolt of anticipation through her heart. “I love you, Kaya,” he adds, voice full of emotion. Kaya nods, unable to speak, wishing he would meet her eyes. He moves his hands to her face and touches his forehead to hers again, swallowing.

Look at me.

But he doesn’t. “But you have no idea,” he continues, every word sounding like it's costing him effort, “how I felt when you called me that night. The things that went through my mind…” He sniffs, and Kaya’s heart sinks. “I can’t let that happen again baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

She can feel her face start to contort and she drops her hands from his shoulders, for she knows this part by heart. “Goodbye, Namjoon,” she mutters thickly, sliding out from between him and the wall. She pushes open the door and hurries out, leaving him behind.

—

When she hears the knock on her front door the next morning, Kaya is just about to step into the shower. She freezes and sighs, for she really, really needs this shower. She considers ignoring it but the knock sounds again and she groans, abandoning the activity of tying up her hair and letting it fall loose instead. 

Grabbing the old, threadbare robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she pulls it around herself and shuffles to the front door. She peers through the peephole and her heart stops for a moment, but she steels herself and opens the door.

Namjoon stands before her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly hunched. “Hey. I just wanted to - oh, God,” he switches abruptly, his expression changing from vaguely apologetic to shocked, and he slips inside the apartment.

“What?” Kaya asks, taken off guard and stumbling backwards.

“You really opened the door wearing that?” he hisses, shutting the door behind him. “I could’ve been anyone!”

“I knew it was you,” she argues, tightening the belt around her waist and realising, for the first time, how short the robe is. But she isn’t about to admit that to him, especially not when he’s turned up unannounced and decided to begin his visit by berating her. She folds her arms across her chest. “What do you want, Namjoon?”

He hesitates, almost as though he’s just noticing how displeased she is. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking a bit ashamed. “I didn’t mean to… anyway,” he says quickly, wringing his hands and slipping them back in his pockets. “How are you?”

Kaya shrugs suspiciously. He looks remarkably different from where she’d left him last night, almost breaking down and apologising to her. Right now, he seems almost… calm. She can almost imagine that last night had been a slip-up of emotion, possibly due to tiredness and an open bar, whereas in the light of day, he’s back to being the responsible ex who’s fulfilling his obligations by checking up on her each day.

“I’m great.”

He nods after a moment, clearly not believing her. “Well, I came here because…” He sighs and a glimmer of last night’s emotion appears on his face. “I thought about what you said last night. And you were right.”

The jolt in her stomach is almost painful, but Kaya hangs on. If he was talking about what she thinks he is, he would be delivering it far more differently.

“We can’t keep doing this. I can’t expect you to keep doing this,” he adds. “Staying in this limbo, not knowing…” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, removing his hands from his pockets. “You have every right to move on. I want you to - to be happy.”

Kaya licks her lips slowly. “This,” she says coldly, “could’ve been a text.”

“I didn’t want to leave things the way they were last night,” he tells her, his voice softer. “You’re, uh…” His voice breaks off for a moment. “You’re the love of my life. And we were together for a long time and I… I loved every moment of it. I just want to say goodbye the right way.”

Her throat hurts holding back the rush of emotion that threatens to overwhelm her. 

“Are you sure?” She can’t resist asking, in a whisper. When he nods and lowers his eyes, she feels the heavy, heavy anchor of acceptance settle in her stomach. 

Namjoon hesitantly reaches out with one hand but when she gives him a look, he nods and steps forward, and they meet in their last hug, three and a half years after their first last hug in her apartment.

Kaya hugs him tight, no longer caring about hiding how she feels. There isn’t enough time to try and memorise everything so she doesn’t even try; she just goes higher on her toes and presses her nose into his shoulder, revelling in his scent one last time.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to be doing much better. He’s holding her tight, so tight that it doesn’t seem like he’s ever intending on letting her go. His face is in her hair and his arms stroke her back in small movements, his go-to movement to comfort her since they met.

Just a few more seconds. The sensations increase now; the feel of his shoulders, his chest touching hers - and she’s suddenly conscious of the thin robe being the only thing separating her naked body from him.

At the same time, his hands move to her waist - out of habit, she knows, but she can’t help but be extremely aware of it. His hand stops just above the curve of her hips, quickly and abruptly. 

Her mouth feels dry, but her legs press together. Then, as though he can read her mind and the direction her thoughts are invariably leading in, against her hip, she can feel his body react.

She lets out a soft gasp and feels his body stiffen around her. This is goodbye, a voice reminds her, urging her brain to focus on the matter at hand. But it’s slipping - fading, almost, as a physical urge struggles for dominance. 

Her lips brush his neck as she pulls away - she has to pull away - but it doesn’t matter in the end because somewhere along the way his lips find hers and all thought disappears, replaced by touch, feel and hunger.

Namjoon sighs into her mouth like he’s breathing for the first time, pulling her close. Her robe starts to loosen and he tugs at the belt, groaning when his hands touch her bare skin.

“Fuck, are you really not wearing anything under this?” he murmurs, his voice so low and reverberating so deep inside her that she shivers.

The robe is off; it’s cool and sudden air, a moment where his hands fall from her waist and then their back but this time, it’s skin against skin. It’s lips and sighs and tight grips, the feel of denim, her fingers moving out of habit as they unbutton and unzip - and then there’s pride and relief when she feels his desire for her, still the same as ever, no matter his words.

There’s something solid against her back; somewhere, dimly, her mind registers that her dining table is rickety and has her laptop on it, and then she’s leaning forward and he’s behind her and his chest is against her back and he wants her just as much as he wants him.

“Are you -“

“I’m still on birth control,” she confirms tightly, the next moment feeling his fingers on her hips and then he’s inside her again, after so long. She could almost sob at how good it feels, how right, the lips on her shoulder and his scent and touch.

But it’s over too soon. She gasps and falls forward, her ears ringing and heart hurting at the same time as her heart races. He’s getting close, too; she tries to memorise it now, the exact moment, but then he pulls out. It’s sudden, the emptiness, but the next moment, she feels wetness on her back.

It takes around ten seconds, ten seconds when she’s frozen before she finally hears him sigh and take a step away. A moment later, she reaches across the table and pulls the tissue box towards her, reaching behind and wiping her back.

Kaya turns slightly to see him pulling on his T-shirt, jeans buttoned already. She picks up her robe and pulls it on hurriedly, suddenly not wanting to be naked for even another microsecond in front of him.

Something feels wrong. It’s not the first time he’s finished on her; he’s done it before, on explicit request and without, none of which ever made her feel… like this. Self-conscious. Bare.

Namjoon clears his throat. “I -“ He meets her eyes, still panting slightly. “I still want to… do this right,” he says, sounding almost formal. “Goodbye, Kaya.” 

He starts to take a step forward but pauses. “Maybe we shouldn’t hug,” he murmurs, offering her a small smile. Kaya watches as he hesitantly offers her a hand.

This is goodbye. Kaya can’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable around him. The momentary loss of her sense of reason feels like it’s returned in full form, and she tightens the robe around her. She starts to reach for his hand but then stops.

“This is what you meant?” she asks quietly. “When you said you wanted to do it the right way? You wanted to see if you could squeeze in one last fuck before you closed this out like a business meeting?”

“What?” Namjoon’s eyes widen. “No! I didn’t - I didn’t want that to happen! I mean - you know that’s not what I meant,” he adds quickly. “I didn’t plan this. You and I both -“

“You planned our break-up and I had no idea,” she cuts him off, the shame and embarrassment creeping up her throat. “I really don’t know anymore.”

He scoffs, but his eyes flicker like he’s been stung. “Is that what you think of me? We were both here, Kaya. It wasn’t just me - you wanted this just as much as I -“

“I slept with Adam.” 

Namjoon freezes. He swallows and his eyes flicker again, rapidly this time. “You’re lying,” he whispers.

Kaya shrugs, holding his gaze with every last bit of willpower in her. “You were the one who told me to move on last night,” she reminds him, watching his expression crumble and doing nothing to stop it.

After what feels like several minutes, or maybe even hours, Namjoon nods slowly. Then, without another word, he turns around and opens the door, walking out of her life and shutting the door behind him.

—

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

#namjoon fanfic #namjoon x oc #thebtswritersclub #bangtanwhq #micdropnet #k-vanity #houseofddaeng #wkcnet #hyunglinenetwork #bts rm fanfic #bts rm angst #bts rm smut

[dari-ede]

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 26

Chapter 26: "You Don't Mean to Hurt Me"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

AN: And it’s back! Thank you everyone for your patience. It’s been quite the 2 months. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back to a regular weekly, or at least Bi-weekly, posting. Happy reading! 🥰

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (mention of sexual assault, explicit language, sexual scenes in prior chapters)

Status: COMPLETE

Warnings/spoilers: Hurt, Miscommunication

**********

Warning/Spoiler: All flashback; It's a loooooong one. 

April 2017, Anaheim, Ca

The guys were in town temporarily and would be leaving in a few days. There was a short window we were able to meet to just hang out. Tomorrow we would be at the recording studio together and then they would be flying off to who knows where.

I had driven to their hotel with my ex in the passenger seat. I honestly didn’t know why I invited him to go with me. Maybe I thought it would make him less pouty about me hanging out with guy friends. He had an issue with every friend I had that was of the opposite sex. And when I told him I would be hanging out with seven guys, he was a whining nightmare. I felt obligated to invite him.

Out of all my bad boyfriends, he was the worst. At the time, I didn’t think our relationship was unhealthy. We weren’t as extreme as my parents were, so in my eyes, we were stable. We didn’t throw heavy or dangerous items at each other. That was a plus.

The entire drive to the hotel had been quite unbearable. The argument just kept escalating. By the time we arrived at the parking lot, he was at the peak of yelling.

“If you don’t want to be here—you don’t have to,” I said to him, putting my car in park.

“So, you’re gonna hang out the entire night with a bunch of guys without your boyfriend there? That’s disrespectful,” he said loudly as I got out of my car.

“They’re just my friends,” I said back for maybe the tenth time.

“It looks like you’re their call girl,” he said loudly as he made his way toward me.

I knew other people were in the parking lot with us, but I didn’t dare look up. It wasn't our first argument in public; I was certain we had their full attention. I didn’t want to see the looks, so I kept my eyes away and did my best to keep my voice down.

“Fuck off,” I muttered to him.

He got to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me tightly towards him.

This physical maneuver was pretty common that my body reacted automatically. I pushed him off with vigor. “If you’re gonna be acting like an ass, then it’s best you don’t go.”

“This is gonna come out on the tabloids—you meeting them in their room. You’re gonna look like a whore to those—”

He used a term that ignited something in me. Angered me and made me see red. It changed everything. Up until that point, I had brushed off my ex’s verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I didn’t see it as abuse back then because I always physically pushed him back—I, too, used words to call him names. Everything about his behavior had been excusable back then, but not the term he used. The term made me see him for what he really was: a racist, homophobic piece of shit.

I had never felt angrier at another person than at that moment. I couldn’t understand how I was ever with a guy that was like this—someone who would say such a vile thing.

“What’s wrong with you?! Why would you say that? They’re seven of the kindest people. They would never allow something like that to come out. Unlike you, they’re real fucking men. So go fuck off. We’re done. Find your way back home.”

I turned to leave as he said some obnoxious thing behind me, but I didn’t listen. He wasn’t worth it. Plus, I didn’t want to show up at the guys’ room upset.

From the corner of my eye, I could tell the people on the other side of the parking lot were making their way toward us. I didn’t want to get involved with other people, so I dodged away and left in the opposite direction. I would take the long way up to the hotel.

I sent a message to Hoseok letting him know I was on my way up. After getting into the hotel, I made sure to go into one of the restrooms and calmed myself down. Minutes later, I got to their floor and was met with a group of their team that welcomed me and guided me to Hoseok’s room.

Stepping inside, I was welcomed by sweet smiles. Most of the guys were there.

Hugging all of them, we settled into the room and hung out.

Even though I was friendly with them, I was most close with Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Suga. Jin, Jungkook, and RM were still quiet around me. Hoseok had invited me, convinced it was only a matter of time before I fully blended with the other guys.

So, there we were, all of us minus Namjoon, having drinks. Jin was talking a little more, which I appreciated. He was making jokes and keeping things light.

Jimin and he were bickering for a moment, which made me laugh.

Jin stared at me. “What?” I asked, curious about the look.

Jin smiled. “You’re like Hobi.”

Jimin nodded, agreeing. “I’ve said the same thing. There’s a reason they hit it off when we met.”

“They both laugh with their entire body; they're loud and push you when they laugh,” Suga added. “Hobi makes a lot of sound effects and Maya hums a lot.”

Taehyung nodded. “It’s almost like they were separated at birth.”

"Also, both are scary when they get angry," Jimin said with a teasing laugh.

Hoseok and I exchanged a look. We had discussed this with ourselves in the past. From the start of our friendship, we saw a lot of similarities in our personalities. I told him he must have been Latino in another life because his energy was starkly different than most Koreans I had met and aligned more with my culture.

“Maya and I were already having deep conversations within the first week of knowing each other,” Hoseok said. “We were even crying to each other.”

I nodded, remembering. “I think we were comparing the struggle of being an artist.”

Hobi agreed. “I was having trouble being far away from family and you were having trouble with a former boyfriend. I think you were missing him.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t because I missed him. We were fighting. He was trying to make me feel guilty for always being on the road.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Hoseok said, his face falling a little. “Well, it’s a good thing he’s gone.”

I nodded. “I know how to pick them.” I grabbed the beer the guys had handed to me and took a sip, remembering the fight I had earlier with my now-ex.

“How are things with your current boyfriend?” asked Jimin carefully. “We thought he was coming with you.”

Looking around the room and seeing they all had their eyes on me felt a bit embarrassing. I would have felt comfortable talking more openly if only Hoseok, Jimin, Suga, and Taehyung were present. I didn’t want to lay all my baggage out in the open for Jin and Jungkook to see.

I took another sip of my beer, deciding to just give a little bit of truth. “We had a big fight in the parking lot. Decided to end things with him.”

They immediately began to voice their sympathies and give me comforting words.

“What was the argument about?” Taehyung asked as he soothed my arm.

At that moment, I heard the door open. I turned towards it and found RM walking in. The guys told me upon arriving that RM was taking a call from his girlfriend, which was why he had been missing since I had arrived.

RM caught my eye and gave me a greeting.

The dimples he displayed made butterflies suddenly appear in my stomach. Since meeting him, I had a small crush on the guy, but it always seemed to come in waves. The fact that he had a girlfriend made it easy to ignore whatever attraction I had for him.

“You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable doing so,” Suga immediately commented, sending Tae a glance. The look contained a lot of words.

Taehyung pulled back a little, giving a small pout.

My heart tugged at seeing the scolding. Taehyung was only being considerate. I didn’t want to talk about the fight—feeling embarrassed and angry for what my ex had said, but I also didn’t want Taehyung to think he had done anything wrong. I wanted to let Suga know I was perfectly fine with being asked the question.

“It’s fine that he asked,” I told Suga. I turned to Taehyung, gaining the courage to suppress my uncomfortableness. “The fight was similar to many we’ve had. He thinks I’m unfaithful, believes I care too much about my career and hates that I have too many guy friends. He didn’t like me coming over. Thinks guys and girls can’t be friends.”

“Yes they can,” Jungkook said out of nowhere. He hadn’t spoken much the entire night.

Seven pairs of eyes turned to him.

With a full look of valor, Jungkook confidently said, “I think of you as my friend. What does he know about male and female friendships?”

“Thank you, Jungkookie,” I said with a smile.

The guys wore proud grins on their faces as they looked at their youngest member. He was growing up quite rapidly. The timid boy they all had come to raise was developing into a young man with full confidence.

While the guys felt pride for their maknae, I felt gratitude for what he said.

I looked around and noticed Jin’s eyes fall on me at the same time. He gave me a small smile, almost as if he was silently agreeing with Jungkook’s words. Like he, too, saw in me a friend.

A warmth spread through my chest at the feeling that the two of them saw me just as the other guys did: a friend.

I turned to Namjoon, who also wore a small smile.

But before I could decipher his look, Hoseok’s voice pulled me away.

“Mai-Mai, we have a confession to make to you.” Hoseok held my eyes, his face fully serious. It was almost scary to see him without his signature smile. “We saw you in the parking lot.”

I frowned, not understanding.

“We were there for your argument. We saw your ex grab you,” he said sadly.

Now, I understood. A feeling of embarrassment came over, realizing it had been them who had been there to witness it all. I had cussed and yelled—I had not been well-behaved. And I don’t know why, but in their eyes, I never wanted them to see the worst in me. And that moment in the parking lot was not my finest moment.

“We went over as soon as he grabbed you,” Jungkook said, a scowl on his face. “But you left before we could get to you.”

“We know the nasty words he said to you. And you don’t deserve that,” Jimin said, a similar look of anger on his face.

“Namjoonie made sure security escorted him out,” Suga said, assuredly. “We had some of our team stay behind to ensure he didn’t come back. Security of the hotel has been informed about him.”

I looked around, reading all of their faces as they gave me comforting words. The look of concern on all of their faces told me that they didn’t think I had misbehaved. They looked over my moments of anger and seemed to focus on my ex’s behavior toward me.

I was grateful they were concerned about me and even more that they were looking after me. I thanked them.

“Namjoonie told us what he said about us,” Jin said, his eyes right on me. “We want to thank you for being a good friend and standing up for us.”

A blush swept over my cheeks.

“We’re glad to call you our friend,” Teahyung said proudly.

My eyes went around the room again, seeing how they were all looking at me so kindly. They all gave small nods, agreeing with Taehyung’s words. The last one my eyes fell on was RM. He was the one I still wasn’t sure of in our friendship.

He gave me a half smile. “Thank you.”

I gave a slight nod, feeling uncomfortable. It was odd that I was being thanked for being a decent human being. Why were they making me feel as if I had done something so courageous?

“How are you feeling?” Jimin asked, worriedly.

I thought for a moment, not knowing how to answer. How was I feeling? I had never thought of that. My initial reaction was to say “angry”. But the anger faded after spending time with the guys. Seeing looks full of concern staring back at me, I wondered if there was something to be concerned about.

“You just broke up with your ex, it’s normal for you not to have processed everything yet. It’s ok,” Suga said calmly. “The sadness and loss and confusion will come when it comes.”

Suga and I had had plenty of deep conversations in the last year. He knew me almost as well as Hoseok did.

But now that he said it, I was now starting to feel those exact emotions: sadness, loss, and confusion. The fight replayed back in my mind and a concern popped into my head as I did this. “I don’t know why I keep choosing these assholes. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

We were all quiet for a long moment.

“What would he say to you?” Hobi asked as Jimin came over to hand me a tissue.

It was then I noticed I had been crying. I apologized as I took the tissue and thanked Jimin.

I felt slight embarrassment in the state I was in. But knowing I was in the comfort of a group of friends, I felt ok in sharing. “Stupid shit like I don’t know how to prioritize a relationship. I make him feel like a second choice. My clothing is too revealing—men are going to take advantage of me. I’ll get groped and it’ll be my fault.” I shook my head in disgust. “I would tell him to fuck off, but yet I still went back like an idiot.”

“You deserve someone who is going to always respect you,” Jin said. “Disagreements happen but respect should always be there.”

Jimin nodded. “If he’s not kind to you, then what’s the point in being with him? You should be with someone who is going to treat you right.”

Wiping away my tears, I kept my eyes down, still feeling shame.

“There, no need to cry over some loser,” Suga encouraged.

“Aw, if she wants to cry, let her cry,” RM said immediately.

“Yeah. What’s wrong with crying?” Jin challenged.

My heart warmed at the two of them defending me, even though Suga only meant well with his words.

“That’s not what I meant. I just mean she should save her tears for someone who's worth it. That piece of shit doesn’t deserve anything from her,” Suga said defensively.

“That doesn’t change how she feels about him. He might be an asshole, but that doesn’t take away the fact that she cared for him,” RM argued back.

Soon, the three of them were starting a nonsense argument as Jimin tried to interfere and calm all of them down. Hobi tried to crack a few jokes to diffuse the situation, but Taehyung and Jungkook sat closer to me and offered me some of the fried chicken that had now turned cold, They watched the entertainment with Cheshire smiles.

“It gets pretty juicy sometimes. Let’s hope Jimini and Hobi-hyung are unsuccessful,” Jungkook said as he took a bite of his chicken and giggled.

“Be sure to take cover if Yoongi-hyung gets ahold of a shoe, though,” Taehyung muttered.

I was about to ask for clarification on this, but all of a sudden Jimin’s voice pulled my attention back to the argument.

“Hyung, put that down!”

Suga had taken hold of a pillow and Jimin had his arms extended out, creating a small shield in front of a massive RM.

The look on RM and Suga’s faces was stern, but it was hard to take them seriously as the two evil maknaes next to me giggled like children. Jimin also looked like a tiny character; did he think he could protect RM? He was so tiny. Jin was currently sitting down and also enjoying the show with a wide smile. This was how I knew there was nothing to be too concerned about. Surely if things got too out of control, Jin would step in….. Right?

The argument didn’t escalate too much. Suga did end up throwing the pillow at RM, but less than a few minutes later things calmed down. From the look of things, this happened every now and then as they all continued as if nothing happened. Occasionally, Jimin and Jungkook would replay bits and pieces of RM and Suga's argument, finding it comical.

We all went back to discussing other things. As I continued to hang out with all of them throughout the night, it was like I went through a Grinch moment on Christmas day. I felt my heart grow three sizes that night. I don’t know why it felt this good to know I was great friends with all these individuals. What was it about these seven men that could make anyone think they could conquer the world?

*******

Even though I only got a few hours of sleep that night, I still felt energized the next day. There was a song I was working on with the rap line. There was a time crunch, so we only had a day in the studio. Whatever didn't get done today, we would have to do electronically—something my brother Seb and I both disliked doing. We liked working with an artist physically in a room together. Doing things through email and phone calls muddied up the work.

We had a lot of ground to cover. When the guys arrived at my brother's studio, they went directly to work. Even though the guys were a bit worn out, they still gave it their all as they recorded. They were used to the workload.

Thankfully, everything went smoothly and we got done everything we set out to do. This was mostly because we had worked together before and knew how to speed up the process without risking the quality of work.

After Suga and Hoseok were satisfied with their parts, they left for some rest. My brother also stepped away for an important call. He announced he would be back in an hour or two. RM, however, wanted to stay longer to go over the record a little more. I stayed behind to assist.

RM was a perfectionist, so I knew it would be a few hours before he was satisfied. I decided to order us pizza. However, it was another half hour after the pizza arrived that RM was finally satisfied with the day’s work.

As RM took a few slices and served the both of us, I went into my brother’s mini-fridge and pulled out a couple of beers. RM and I had a similar way of working: we didn’t drink while we recorded, only until after.

It was the first time we hung out alone. Usually, someone else was always in the room. Now considering him a friend, I didn’t feel discomfort. I started asking personal questions that I hadn’t before. The topic of old relationships came up and it led me to ask what caused his last breakup. I knew he was head over heels for his current girlfriend, but I was curious about his past rather than his present.

“We broke up because it felt like she disrespected me,” he said finally after I had pushed a little. He originally didn’t want to talk about it, but somehow I convinced him to talk about it. “She had too many guy friends that were too physical with her.”

I couldn’t help but feel similarities to the argument my ex and I had last night. While I didn’t want anything to do with my asshole ex, I certainly wanted to get a different viewpoint on girl and guy friendships. Maybe RM could give me a glimpse into my ex’s thought process. Maybe there was a different perspective I was missing. I mean, if two of them seemed to have a problem with me having a lot of guy friends, maybe there was an angle I wasn’t considering?

“So you broke up because of the guy friends she had?” I asked, curiously.

“It’s not that she had guy friends—it was how close she was with them. And how many of them she had. There’s just a way you behave with guys and another that you behave with a boyfriend. It shouldn’t be physical—that gets reserved for boyfriends.”

“Physical—how?”

“Hugging and touching too much.”

I thought about how my relationship with Hobi and Jimin. We goofed off a bit. They had tickled me a few times. I didn’t see the big deal.

“And also the type of things that are talked about. There are topics reserved for only significant others. Things you can discuss with friends of the same sex, but not the opposite sex.”

“Like what?”

He hesitated. “Personal stuff.”

“Like?” I pressed.

He was getting shy, avoiding eye contact. A slight blush came across his cheeks. “Just personal stuff.”

Sex. Koreans and their shyness on the topic, especially when talking to the opposite sex, let me know he was referring to this.

As I considered his perspective, I still didn’t feel swayed from my opinion on female and male friendships. I didn’t see why and how that would affect a romantic relationship.

“I don't think I could be with someone who wanted me to stop being friends with Hoseok and Jimin. To not have Hoseok, who is the epitome of happiness and positivity, or Jimin who is incredibly kind… just seems wrong. I probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the guy doesn’t want me to be friends with other guys. Sounds kind of like it’s insecurity.”

Namjoon was quiet for a moment, deep in thought and considering his next words. “I don't think it's about insecurity. It's about respect.”

This somewhat annoyed me because it was a similar word my ex had used: ‘disrespectful’. “You think having a close relationship with the opposite sex is disrespectful?”

RM’s face was serious as he looked right at me, not breaking eye contact. “When there is a significant other involved, yes.”

A sudden urge to challenge him came over, especially after some of the guys had validated me last night about the topic. “But you and I are friends. Do you side with my ex when he said we shouldn’t be friends?”

RM shook his head in a dismissive manner. “That's different. We're work friends. You’re helping me out with something work-related. There’s nothing personal happening between us. Different rules.”

His words sank at a rapid pace.

Work friends. Not friends, but work friends. Someone you only spoke about certain topics with. Nothing personal. 

A feeling of nausea took over.

Work friends? Is that how he saw me? Someone to only hang out with during work hours? Only if he was getting paid to do so?

How could he think of me this way? We had known each other for years. I had been present for group trips, dinners, music video shoots, and recordings. I had been present during dress rehearsals and mic checks. Been to many live shows. I had seen some of RM’s lows: recording him had brought him to near exhaustion once and I had been present when a doctor was called. I made sure not to leave his side until the color came back to his face. We shared many stories while drinking a beer. I was his go-to person when he had English grammar questions. And just last night, we had an entire night full of laughter—I had shared thoughts and emotions because I thought we were friends.

And then it hit me. All of those shared moments had been alongside the rest of the guys. The group trips were always done with all members. The dinners and hangouts were always with the other guys present. And it was always Hoseok, Jimin, or Taehyung who would invite me to their shows and music video shoots. I never really hung out with RM, even more notably now that he had a girlfriend. Last night, it had only been Jin and Jungkook who verbally confirmed our friendship. RM had never agreed with the rest of the guys that he was friends with me.

Even after showing my tears and hurt last night, there was still a barrier between RM and me.

But, if I took a step back, I couldn't blame him. He had always created a line between us. I just had never seen it. I was a fool to think differently. A feeling of embarrassment took over. And hurt.

“Hey, you guys get done?” came a voice from the door as it swung open.

It was Sebastian, my brother. He was back.

I couldn’t be here. It was far too awkward. Not to mention I was feeling my heart rate accelerate.

“I gotta go,” I said suddenly, searching for my keys. There was pressure in my chest. I could feel my breathing change.

I cursed at myself silently as I spun around franticly. Where the hell were my keys?

“Mayita.” My brother’s voice pulled me.

Turning around, I saw him holding my keys, a look full of concern across his face. “Qué pasó?” He took a step close to me, blocking me from RM. He was trying to spare my embarrassment. He knew I felt self-conscious about my episodes, he was trying to ensure RM didn’t see me like this.

I shook my head, not being able to speak.

“Ve. Está bien,” he encouraged as he handed me my keys.

“Maya, what’s wrong?” RM asked. He took a few steps closer.

Hurrying out of the room, I heard my brother ask RM what had happened.

As I drove out of the property, I felt a stream of tears start coming down. My chest felt like it was being squeezed.

I felt like such an idiot. How could I have ever been so stupid to not see RM didn’t want to be friends? Just because he was nice and friendly did not mean that he wanted to be friends.

******

After an hour of driving around and crying, my negative thoughts began to go out of control. I began to doubt my friendship with the other guys. Were they also just being friendly with me and nice, like RM? Was it only Hoseok and Jimin who I had a genuine friendship with?

I felt the need to know the truth. There was no way Hoseok would ever be honest with me. He was much too kind for that. There was only one person who would be completely honest if I asked him to be.

Using some sunglasses, I made my way to the guys’ hotel. I had sent a message to the person I needed to see so the staff had been informed about my visit.

“What is it?” Suga asked as soon as he opened his door.

He looked concerned as soon as I took off my sunglasses. I must have looked like shit.

He stepped back, inviting me in.

“I'm sorry,” I said immediately. “I just...I need a direct answer and I know you’re the one who would be most honest with me.”

Suga looked a little uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he was only in his boxers.

“Hold on.” He reached over to a bathrobe and put it on. Poor guy, I hadn’t given him ample time for him to get ready.

Once again, I felt like an idiot. Of course, he would feel uncomfortable with me here. He probably saw me the same way RM did. We were work friends. Work friends didn’t visit each other in their personal bedrooms for non-work-related reasons.

“Are we friends?” I blurted out, not able to keep it in.

He looked even more confused. “What?”

“Would you consider us friends?” I asked a little more clearly this time.

“Yes. Of course.”

It seemed like I wasn’t being clear, so I became more specific. “I'm not talking about work friends or associates, but friends-friends. Someone you feel comfortable having deep conversations with? To share secrets with? Trust important information with?”

He couldn’t look more lost. “Yes. You are a friend of mine. Maiwa, what’s wrong?”

And then the tears just streamed down.

Suga reached over and gave me a one-arm hug. He held me for a good while. Once I had settled down, he asked again, “What’s wrong?”

I took a breath. “I was talking to RM and I found out the friendship I thought we had really only existed in my head. And if I was wrong about my friendship with him, maybe I’m wrong about my friendship with the rest of you guys.”

He pulled back a bit to look me in the eye. “Why would you say such a thing? Namjoonie values your friendship.”

I shook her head. “He sees us as associates. ‘Work friends’ were his exact words. Had I known he didn't see me as a friend, I would have waited until he was out of the room to talk so openly with you guys.”

Yoongi seemed to consider my words before he spoke again. “What you said last night was important. We're all grateful you trust us enough to share that with us. I'm sure he didn't mean what he said.”

“RM is one of the best communicators I know. He dissects everything he says. He’s careful and articulate. I’m more than sure he meant what he said. Especially when I’m the one who referred to the two of us being friends and he was quick to correct me. He said we were different from friends. We were work friends.”

Suga stayed quiet for a long while. Surely, he was going over what might have occurred in his head, questioning if I was overreacting.

It felt like another punch in the gut. A level of anger began to build toward RM. His words were making me doubt Suga. I had never thought negatively about any of the guys but now I was overanalyzing everything. Allowing self-pity to win over.

“You know Hobi once called us business partners? Not friends, but business partners,” he said carefully.

This was shocking to me. It didn't seem right. Hoseok would never say this about Suga or any of the other guys. He loved his six members more than brothers.

Suga seemed to have read my mind. “He did...but he wasn’t serious. It took a moment to figure out he was only messing around, but I remember that horrible feeling that someone I cared for, thought of me as something so insignificant. To me, the six guys are an eternal family. My brothers for life. So, hearing those words, it cut something deep.” He looked sad at the memory. “Thankfully, it was a misunderstanding. Hopefully, for your circumstance, it was as well.”

New, warm tears began to stream down. “I don’t think so, Suga. I’ve been thinking about it. RM and I never hung out. Not by ourselves, that is. And whenever we talk, he doesn’t really ask personal questions. I ask him about his family and girlfriend and past, but he’s never shown interest in me. I don’t think that’s how friends are.”

Suga was quiet again. “Namjoonie is someone who holds up many walls. It takes a good deal to bring them down. I’ll be honest, there are moments when he doesn’t let us in. He carries a lot on his shoulders. Sometimes Jin can get through to him, but when he shuts down, there’s no way of getting him to open up. He has to be the one who’s ready to do so. A lot is going on lately. I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but I’m sure he’s stressed and not thinking clearly.

“I know his heart. He’s an incredible person and someone who would never want to hurt someone. I’m sure if he sees he’s upset you, he’ll do everything in his power to set things right.”

I didn’t say anything. A part of me believed Suga, but a bigger part was buried deep in the pain and I couldn’t see straight. I was stuck in a negative headspace.

We didn’t speak much for the remainder of the night. Suga kept his arm around me for a while longer.

This moment I was having with Suda reminded me of last year when we were recording a song for their current album. I was asked to help assist with a solo song for him. While writing for the track, the two of us went the entire night drinking and comparing childhood stories. We found we shared a complicated relationship with music. We were both born to be musicians but there came a point in our lives where we resented it for different reasons. His thoughts about it were similar to mine and together, we created a song that held a special place in my heart. It was a song that after the recording was done, I only listened to once due to the power it had over me. It was one of the few songs I had taken part in writing but couldn’t listen to.

As I sat next to Suga, I began to feel sleepy. When he noticed this, he offered me his bed. I insisted on using the couch in his room, knowing I couldn’t drive at this stage but not wanting to inconvenience my friend either. He had none of it. He placed the covers around me and took the couch for himself.

My doubts about the rest of the guys seeing me as their friend began to float away.

******

-NAMJOON-

The next day was full of activity. The schedule for the guys was set from the start of the day and would carry on until the night. The next day, they were set to leave LA for their next destination.

Having the responsibility of ensuring everyone was awake today, Namjoon woke early the next morning. He knew his hyungs were more than likely awake, so he went directly to the three youngest rooms first. After ensuring they woke up, Namjoon then made his way to Hobi and Jin’s rooms; not surprisingly, the two of them were easier to stir awake. Finally, he headed to Yoongi’s room. Namjoon was certain he was awake, but he’d rather play it safe and check.

Just as Namjoon got to Yoongi’s room, he saw his hyung’s door open. And out came a curly-haired brunette.

Namjoon stopped in his tracks. It had been a while since Yoongi had brought a girl to a hotel room, but he had never done so while they were overseas. What chick had he hooked up with last night? He didn’t know any Americans. And judging from this girl’s backside and figure, she was not Korean, so it couldn’t be one of their staff.

“Thanks again, Yoongi,” said the girl as Yoongi stepped up to the doorway to see her off.

He gave her a small smile and a half hug.

It took Namjoon a moment, but he finally recognized the voice. “Maya?”

Maya turned; her almond-shaped eyes wide. Did she look…scared?

Namjoon remembered how she had left so abruptly from the studio yesterday. Sebastian had asked him what had happened, but he genuinely didn’t know. One moment they were having a conversation and the next Maya was gone. He had noticed the change in her breathing right as Sebastian tried blocking him from looking at her. Namjoon asked Sebastian what had been wrong with Maya, but Sebastian simply said that she got sick every once in a while but didn’t give specifics. It worried Namjoon. He had even sent Maya a couple of messages, wishing she felt better.

But Namjoon figured she had gone home to rest. Why was she here? Had she spent the night with Yoongi? Was there more going on between them that he hadn’t noticed?

“What are you doing here?” Namjoon asked her bluntly, stepping forward.

Maya took several steps away from him. Some tears began to make their way down her eyes. “I gotta go.” She gave Yoongi a quick look and walked away in a hurry.

As she left, Namjoon could hear her take deep breaths, just as she had last night.

He wanted to go after her to see if she was ok, but something made his feet stay where they were. “Why was she crying?” Namjoon asked.

“How about you tell me?” Yoongi asked, a lethal note detected in his tone.

Namjoon frowned, not understanding. “Did I do something wrong?”

“I would say so. What the hell were you on yesterday?” he asked, the lethal note sounding deadlier.

“Excuse me?” Namjoon’s patience began to wear thin. His defenses started to come up.

He and Yoongi got into intense arguments, sometimes it seemed out of nowhere. Since meeting each other, Namjoon and Yoongi’s relationship had been intense. It mostly stemmed from their competitiveness and different personalities. Yoongi tended to be stubborn and blunt while Namjoon was more docile and subtle. Their opposite traits tended to create the most intense fights.

Namjoon did his best to avoid arguing as much as he could, but the guy always knew what buttons to press. Just like he was now.

“What did you tell Maiwi last night?” Yoongi demanded.

Namjoon was quick to notice the nickname. Hobi and Jimin usually called her 'Mai-Mai', but Yoongi had created a nickname for Maya that was fully Korean. That could only mean one thing, right?

“Are you guys together?” Namjoon asked, shocked.

Yoongi looked completely unimpressed. “You know, for a genius, you really are daft sometimes. Nothing’s going on between me and Maya. She’s a friend. And she only sees a friend in me as well. Wish she could say the same thing about how she sees you, though.”

Namjoon’s confusion only deepened. “What?”

“Did you seriously tell her that you guys were work friends?”

Namjoon thought for a moment. “Yeah.”

“Aishhhh,” Yoongi hissed out as he shook his head disappointedly.

“What?”

“You hurt her feelings, Namjoon,” Yoongi emphasized.

Namjoon was taken about by these words. He didn’t know how to react. But he continued to listen to Yoongi as he spoke.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but last night was the first time Maya has ever opened up about how toxic her relationships are. Hobi even pointed out that even with him, Maya is pretty quiet about her relationships. He’s noticed markings on her arms in the past, but she’s always dismissed the bruises. I’ve seen a couple of bruises on her as well, but never asked her about it, fearing what her answer would be. And last night she confirmed our suspicions.

“She opened up to us because she thought she was talking to friends. She felt safe bringing down those walls. And then you go and tell her she’s not a friend? What the fuck do you think that did to her?” Yoongi demanded.

The realization of his mistake made Namjoon want to start digging a hole for himself to live inside. “Shit,” he let out. He replayed the entire conversation from last night in his head. What the hell had possessed him to say such a thing?

So much was going on lately, that he had behaved and spoken without thinking. But it was no excuse for him acting like a jerk.

Yoongi was right, Maya had entrusted them and opened up to them. And she was a friend. Last night during her breakup with her ex, she had proved how great of a friend she was. He had fucked up.

He turned towards the hall, but Maya was long gone. "I didn't mean it that way; just that we're not that close like I am with you guys or my other friends."

“Listen, whatever backward, caveman mentality you have on guy and girl friendships, I couldn't give two shits about. But the rest of us do consider her a friend. She's shown great loyalty to us not only professionally—she's defended us countless times in the media whenever some idiot makes a racist or homophobic comment about us—but just last night she even defended us privately. It looked like she was about to fight her ex after he said what he said."

"I know," Namjoon agreed. "She's amazing. We're lucky to have an ally like her."

"We're lucky to have a friend like her," Yoongi corrected him.

Namjoon just gave a nod, his eyes still on the hall, where Maya had disappeared into. He was still debating on going after her.

"We have a full schedule today,” Yoongi said, knowing exactly what was going through Namjoon’s head. “It’s best to call her. See if you can meet tonight or tomorrow morning before we fly out.”

Namjoon nodded, taking out his phone.

“I know you can be blunt with your honesty, but you really need to think before you speak. Especially when it comes to someone who hasn't come to fully know you quite yet. Set things right with her, Namjoon. Don’t fuck it up with her. She’s a good person,” Yoongi said then turned back to his room.

Namjoon pressed Maya’s name on his contacts. He left a message, apologizing over and over.

Around noon, she still hadn’t responded, so he called again.

That night, he called again.

And again.

And again….

***********

~MAYA~

I had only agreed to meet with him after the 10th voicemail. Plus, Yoongi had sent me a message, telling me to give RM an opportunity to explain.

It was the following morning when we met. The guys always booked out an entire floor, meaning there were plenty of empty rooms. When I entered the room, RM was already inside waiting.

He stood up once he saw me. “Thank you for coming,” he said politely.

Instantly, I felt an uneasiness in my stomach. No words came out of me; I remained standing, just staring at him.

RM took a breath, a look of regret washing over his face. “I want to apologize for yesterday. What I said, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I do value your friendship. Please, do not think I don’t,” RM sounded like he was pleading.

A rush feeling of flight took over, I didn’t want to be here. However, my feet remained still “You don’t have to apologize for something you feel. I shouldn’t have made assumptions. I feel embarrassed for putting you in an awkward position.”

“No. Not at all. I—”

My feet jerked and I could feel them wanting to make their way to the door. I forced my body to remain still. “I don’t want to keep talking about this; it’s upsetting. And I don’t want to cry in front of you.” I don’t know what possessed me to be so blunt and honest. Maybe it was because it was my best bet for him to let me leave without causing a scene.

I took a deep breath, trying my best to maintain control of my emotions. “Let’s continue as we have. When the guys invite me over, I’ll come over like normal. If you need some advice with English, it’s fine if you email me or text me like you usually do. I’ll be sure to stop inviting you over to hang out. Now, all these years later, I understand why you never accepted my invitations, so I’ll stop putting you in an uncomfortable situation.”

“Maya—”

“I know you have your flight to catch, so I’ll be on my way out.” My feet finally won the battle and moved towards the door.

RM’s long legs were quick; he made his way in front of me, blocking me. “I’m sorry, Maya. Please. I want to set things right.”

I always spoke in Korean with all the guys. Every once in a while I would say some English words, but normally I stuck with Korean. It was a struggle since Korean was not my first language and one that I didn’t use daily. Even with my Tia Jia and her family, I spoke more English with them than Korean. I never told any of the guys, not even Hoseok, but it certainly took a lot of energy when I was with them. It never felt stressful, though, because the guys were worth it—they were my friends. But I suddenly didn’t feel the drive to overwork my brain. Maybe it was because RM wasn’t a friend.

I decided to stick to English. “You meant what you said. As shitty as it felt, you meant it. I don’t want you to let Suga make you feel guilty. Everything is fine with us professionally. Personally, I’m hurt. I don’t want to be here because I know I’m going to cry and I don’t want to do that in front of you.”

It was like someone had just slapped him in the face, RM looked so taken aback and hurt. He composed himself and gave a nod. “Ok. Can we talk later?” He asked softly in English.

He looked like a kicked puppy and the sad tone in his voice made my stomach turn. Guilt. I wanted to forgive him and forget all the words from nights ago because he did look to mean his apology, but my pride kept me from accepting it. “Maybe. I don't know.”

He leaned forward like he was about to take a step closer to me but he stopped himself and stayed at a distance. “I'll call you this weekend,” he said with determination, still in English.

I didn’t say anything. I walked out and went into the hall, heading to the elevator.

He stayed at the doorway, watching me as I waited for the elevator doors to open.

I kept my head high, doing my best to not give in and cry. Even as I entered the elevator, I kept it in, not allowing my emotions to come undone until I was on the highway.

RM did call me that weekend. Several times. At all times of the day. But I didn’t pick up.

********

He called again several days later. But still, I did not answer.

He sent messages, asking when I was free. He would make time. I didn’t reply.

A couple of weeks after, there were a few emails, asking the same question. But they all went unanswered.

In the months that followed, my communication with the rest of the guys increased. Not only was I chatting with Hoseok, Jimin, Tae, and Yoongi, but Jungkook and Jin would randomly send me messages as well. Jungkook's were scarce, but knowing he wasn’t much of a texter meant a lot. Jin's messages were mostly funny video clips of them. We played a few mobile games together. With the two of them, I felt a sweet and genuine friendship. 

But even though it felt nice to have six of them in my life, it felt like something was missing. I would get the urge to message RM, but I didn’t know how to start a conversation. I slowly began to see things more logically; my anger faded, and my hurt no longer took precedence. However, my pride would then take over. I became determined not to allow myself to be weak again. RM had hurt me and I shouldn’t let him do it again. I didn’t need to beg someone to be friends with me. Hoseok and Jimin had been right that night I had broken up with my ex. I needed to start cutting bad people out of my life. Not that I thought RM was a bad person, but he certainly was someone who didn’t care about me. Why should I keep someone in my life if I didn’t matter to them?

As the months went on, RM’s phone calls stopped. His text messages didn’t come anymore. Some emails were exchanged. But they were always work-related and kept cordial on my end.

I took notice he always signed off with, “Call me anytime.”

But I didn’t do so.

*****

-November 2017-

In the many months that followed, I managed to make drastic changes in my life. I cut off anyone in my life that was not a good influence. Taking the guys’ advice to me, I made sure to only keep people who I knew had my best interest at heart. The guys I normally went for, I made sure to avoid. No artists, no musicians, no guys dressed in that homeboy style. Those were my rules. If a guy came up to me with any one of those characteristics, I dodged them.

I managed to catch a couple of good guys but dumped them pretty quickly after finding no real chemistry with them.

It was a good and positive change for me. I felt better than ever knowing I was actively being more positive.

However, something seemed off still. And I knew why that was.

After many talks with Hoseok, Yoongi, and my Tia Jia, I finally got the courage to send Namjoon a message.

The guys were scheduled to come back to LA and it felt like a good time to meet with RM.

Once again, we met at one of the many rooms they had checked out in their hotel.

This time, I made sure to be the first to arrive. I felt it was only fair. It was difficult not to acknowledge that he had in fact all he could to set things right. He had done his best to reach out to me; it was my turn to reach out just as much.

As he entered the room, I got to my feet. “Hi.”

Being the ever-polite young man he was, RM gave me a proper bow, thanking me for meeting him.

 My heart squeezed at seeing this. Guilt came over. How could I ever have thought any part of RM was negative? He had made a mistake. He was allowed to do so. He was human.

RM had a whole speech prepared. It was like he had rehearsed it several times, hardly taking a breath. “I do see you as a friend. I always have. I was an idiot to have said what I said," was how he ended his speech.

I gave him a small nod. “I appreciate your apology. And I’m sorry on my end for not reaching out earlier. I think it was my pride mixed in with my embarrassment for my overreaction, but—”

“You didn’t overreact,” RM cut me off. “You were right to be upset. I spoke without thinking. Just like you told me, you shouldn’t apologize for how you feel.”

I was quiet for a moment, considering his words.

“So, can we be friends?” RM asked with a teasing smile.

His dimples made the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I felt the crush I had for him emerging. I did my best to squash it. “Yes,” I answered.

The dimples on his cheeks deepened.

Wanting to forget the last half year, I decided to move the conversation to something lighter. “Ok, I need some guy advice and Hoseok and Yoongi still haven’t answered my damn messages.”

“I’m all ears,” he said, taking a seat on the couch and giving me all of his attention. He seemed eager to prove himself.

“So, there’s these two guys I’m talking to—only talking. Nothing physical has happened with either one of them…yet,” I said with a snicker.

“Ok, I see where this is going,” RM said with a smile. “Been on dates with either one of them? Gone to dinner with them?”

“Went on a couple of dates so far with both of them. Dinner with both.”

“How did they treat the staff?”

I frowned, not understanding.

He read my confusion. “Go on a dinner date with both of them again. Look for an opportunity for the staff to make a mistake and see how they react. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat staff. If he’s an ass, don’t make excuses, and stop talking to him. Keep the one who is humble and treats the staff like a decent human being.”

I considered his advice and concluded it was a pretty damn good one. “Thanks. I’ll do that.”

“What do these two guys do? What vocation are they in?”

“One is a talent agent, really hot and a pretty good smooth talker—very fun to be around. And the other one is an attorney. He’s alright, but a little boring.”

“What makes him boring?” RM asked curiously.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just doesn’t seem to be too exciting. A real homebody, which I’m cool with, but you know—I like to go out, you know. Possibly travel; have some fun. This talent agent and I have gone to the club and I had a good time with him. The attorney I have yet to have fun with.”

RM stopped me. “Wait, I’m remembering something. Weren’t you dating some actor? I thought I saw you at one of the premieres with him.”

“Oh, yeah. We dated for a few months, but it didn’t last. His schedule got to be too much.”

RM seemed to be thinking. “Was it just the schedule that was an issue? You’re an artist, you should be able to understand a busy schedule and work it out.”

I felt I was being called out. “Fine. It wasn’t his schedule. He just…he was a bit bland.”

RM chuckled. “Bland?”

“Yeah, he tended to like the quieter dates. A simple dinner and a movie at his place. He never wanted to go out.”

RM cocked his eyebrow, signaling to me that he suspected something about me.

I was sure I knew what he was thinking. “So, I prefer to have fun. What’s wrong with that?”

RM put a hand in defense and laughed lightly. “No, I don’t mean to judge. It’s just that…it seems like you aren’t willing to bend a little to the guys’ preference. Being part of a couple is sometimes doing things for the other person. Just like you want to go to the club with him, maybe give him that night in.”

I let his words marinade, considering if he was right.

“Maya, I say this as a friend who cares for you: many of your past boyfriends haven’t been the best choices. Maybe try going for a guy completely different than what you’re used to. I’m not saying change your personality, but start being open to someone very different than who you usually go for.”

He was kind of making sense.

“Give this lawyer guy a chance,” he suggested with a warm smile.

I gave him a nod.

On the following dates I had with the talent agent and the attorney, I paid attention to how they were with the staff. The talent agent failed miserably, snapping at staff at the first opportunity. However, the attorney, a guy named Jerry, was a complete gentleman.

I followed my friend’s advice and decided to see where this thing with the attorney would lead.

------------------------

AN: I've been wanting to do a Namjoon POV and I finally found the perfect spot for it! 🥰

ANNOUNCEMENT: The next two weeks will be pretty busy at work. I might go a couple of weekends without posting, my apologies. The good thing is we are closer to the end of this story.

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

#friendship #bts smut #bts fanfic #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic #namjoon boyfriend material #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x reader #rm smut #rm x reader #rm x oc #rm x maya #secret relationship #flashback #in the middle of the night #Spotify

[luvdzu]

what i'm thinking about this whole thing is what if eun is actually namjoon's informant? also namjoon working out in his new video!!!! do they workout together?

one more round

211015 - - - ♡ eunseo realizes that coming with namjoon to workout was not a good idea, as it leads to either a lot of progress or a lot of teasing, nothing in between

june hc! ๑ since they began dating (early 2021) eunseo has been sending memes and tweets about namjoon from armys online and have complied a list of some questionable, and shocking revelations from armys in twt

a/n: my first request!! hehehehehe i hope you enjoy this, thank you for the idea as well, the photo was when namjoon uploaded his workout photo on weverse, left everyone trembling skdbskdjd also joon is such a major flirt, like heireally pushing all of eunseo's buttons and i'm living for it!!!

“I can’t do this anymore!” Eunseo moans as her legs shake in pain, making the female fall on her feet. Namjoon shook his head and extended his arms in Eunseo’s reach, before scolding her lover who was currently lying on the floor, tired, and catching her breath. 

“You’re overacting, you’ve taken a lot of harder stuff in comparison. Get up and continue.” Eunseo scoffs at his remarks before sulking on the floor, “I can’t get up, my legs won’t work. I’m tired of doing another round, you’re too harsh.” 

Namjoon shakes his head, stifling his laughter before moving towards Eunseo, “This is why you shouldn’t skip leg day. Come grab my hands, let me pull you up.”

Raising her arms, Eunseo let’s Namjoon carry her up with little to no effort, before setting her down on one of the free bench presses letting her lower body rest. Eunseo expected Namjoon to sit her up and continue doing his own sets, instead, Namjoon kneeled in front of her to check on her legs.

With a worried look on his face, Namjoon looks over Eunseo fondly, with a sudden feeling of guilt seeing her struggle. “Are you really in pain? Have I been harsh towards you, love?” 

Eunseo shakes her hands in front of Namjoon in an attempt to remove the doubts in his head, “No! I swear it’s not your fault… Well, your workout is extremely hard in comparison to mine, but it’s understandable. I just don’t want to do another round, I don’t think I’m fit for this level of workout.” 

Namjoon stays silent, drowning in his own thoughts, before nodding them off. Immediately Namjoon stood up and removed his shirt, “How about you just sit there and you watch me workout. Seeing as you probably reach your own quota. I still have one more round, you want to watch me?”

Eunseo smirks at Namjoon’s words, “Love, I didn’t think you’d flirt with me in the gym of all places, but sure, let’s see you show off your skills in front of me, seeing as you’re so much stronger than me.”

Namjoon laughs at your statement, shaking his head in embarrassment, “It’s about time I flirted with you in a gym setting. We've been doing this for about a year now, I think we’re ready for a little bit of flirting.

“Shut up Joon, you can’t be hot, cute, and respectful all at the same time.” This time it was Eunseo who folds her flirty expressions at hold. Looking away at the view up front.

“You’re acting like you haven’t seen me topless, are you really going to be flustered everytime you see me looking like this?” Namjoon laughs in between his sets, as he takes a few glances over Eunseo, clearly looking away from him.

“You look good every time, it’s unfair. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you looking so pretty in front of me like that, and shirtless? Namjoon I don’t think you know half the stuff your fans say about you.” 

“Oh darling, half of the tweets you send me are enough to convince me. I know what they are saying, and I don’t want to say it outloud, but I definitely enjoy some of the stuff you send me.”

“JOON! You can’t say things like that so casually! Think about my heart! I can only take so much from you” Eunseo groans, hiding her face in her palms, with her grin rising up her cheeks.

“I’m sure you can take a lot more from me. Why not have my whole heart while we’re at it?” Namjoon flirts back, causing Eunseo her own sanity, rushing straight to the locker room of the gym she leaves Namjoon dumbfounded and left in his own amusement.

“I thought your legs were in pain?” Namjoon shouts as he hears the sound of the showers turning on.

“Shut up Joon! I swear I won’t drive you back to the company if you don’t cut out the flirting!”

taglist ๑ @itzy-eve

#red velvet 6th member #red velvet female member #red velvet female addition #red velvet female oc #female kpop addition #female kpop oc #kpop female addition #kpop female oc #kpop female member #female kpop member #bts x oc #namjoon x oc #rm x oc

[insfiringyou]

Hope you’re well! Sending good happy vibes, especially as we approach holiday season! RM will be on a talk show! Something about learning about humans/human nature. Seems so fitting!! Made me think of your characters because I feel he and Jieun would have fun talking about the topics brought up on the show! So cute to envision a bedtime chat where they have fun looking things up and learning together.

<3

#bts #bts rm #rm #rm x ji-eun #rm x oc

[bangtanfancamp]

Oh Christmas Tree | KNJ

∴ summary: you’re looking for a fresh start and a Christmas tree when you unintentionally stumble across the worlds most attractive dimples and the sweet, gigantic, bumbling man attached to them

Alt: Namjoon + a Christmas tree farm + his best friend’s girlfriend’s little sister = the best Yuletide he never saw coming

∴ masterlist

∴ part of the breakfast with bangtan series

∴ pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader, guest appearances by cultivating a life with you Hoseok x his y/n

∴word count: 10.8k

∴ rating: mature, 18+

∴genre: fluff, strangers to lovers. slice of life, Christmas romance

∴warnings: flirting, woke adjacent Christmas tree banter? sexual tension, joon is a big man (we all know this), a few subtle pov shifts- but only at already marked breaks in the story beats (should be easy to follow. Hopefully), subtle daddy kink, joonie has big boobies and he likes boobies, what was meant to be really soft smut that got a little out of hand honestly

∴author’s note: This started as a little scribble in March of 2021 that only involved the scene of y/n and Namjoon bantering about Christmas trees. I’ve been neck deep in 30k+ monster fic drafts for months and I just wanted to write something quick & fluffy so here we are. This y/n is the sister Hoseok’s girlfriend visits in cultivating a life with you. The stories are totally independent of each other but technically- chronologically- this takes place two winters later. Not meant to be hallmark movie related. I honestly just love the idea of Namjoon in one of his tiny little beanies getting tongue tied in the snow while surrounded by Christmas trees. Enjoy! Please let me know if you like it, if you like :) also… this is not proofread yet. I stayed up all night writing this and didn’t sleep. So I’m gonna leave this here, crash, and come back later to edit and add my copious italics, as I do.

───────────────────────

“My gosh, are these Christmas trees in outer space?”

You’d spent the last hour and a half being squashed in the backseat of your sister’s Mini Cooper. Your knees were beginning to ache.

“Oh don’t be a grinch, silly. We’re almost there,” your sister twisted to smile back at you from her spot in the passenger seat.

Her pink mittened hand was happily resting on her boyfriend Hoseok’s slim thigh. He reached down to tap out the rhythm to “walking in a winter wonderland” across the back of her knuckles as she beamed back at you, and you felt a little bit of your irritation melt away. It was nice to see her so happy. They were sweet to each other. It was lovely for them, but it wouldn’t help straighten out the kink in your back.

Who takes a coupe to pick up a live Christmas tree?

Hoseok caught your eye in the rear view mirror and smiled in apology as you shifted. He was as nice as your sister, just as keen to accommodate, and as soft for her as you were, if not more. His car was in the shop and yours hadn’t arrived yet. You’d driven a u-haul here from three states away a week and a half ago, settling down to take root during a holiday season best celebrated in an established home like the smart planner you were (not).

But for once, you didn’t care. Or at least, you were learning not to.

You’d spent too much of your life stuck in places you didn’t even want to be, taking life too seriously. Spent too many of the last few years feeling stagnant and like you were running out of time all at once. So when the opportunity arose, you took the first chance you got to move here. To be closer to your sister, to be somewhere where the air felt lighter, where you could be whoever you wanted to be.

And today, you wanted to be the owner of a live Christmas tree.

Give yourself something to smile at in your studio that currently consisted of bare stucco walls and aesthetic cardboard box piles.

When you’d mentioned it over the phone, your sister had known just the place.

“It’s the cutest little Christmas tree farm! Me and hobi get our tree there every year! They even have a hot cocoa stand up front for you to sip on while you pick your tree out. It’s owned by the sweetest family. One of our friends works there too. Oh you have to meet him!”

Your sister had gushed it all in one breath.

“Have to?”

“Absolutely. Not even a question. Get dressed! Me and hobi’ll pick you up in 10!”

That was that. You’d bundled up to the best of your ability, (Your wardrobe was not prepared for how chilly the winters got up here) and twenty minutes later, your sister and a blushing Hoseok were waiting for you in the parking lot in their jolly little holiday mobile.

Your sister had added reindeer antlers and a red nose to her Mini Cooper and jingle bells to the door handles. There was a set of white vinyl stickers with the silhouette of Santa’s sleigh and all nine reindeer plastered on the back window and a sprig of mistletoe-that she’d probably grown herself- twirling from the rear view mirror. Somehow she’d even gotten the horn to match the melody of “we wish you a merry Christmas.”

You’d have to ask how later.

The ride ended up being cozy enough. Now you were just eager to get out and get the feeling back in your toes. Hoseok tipped the driver's side seat forward for you to crawl out from the back. The second the icy wind slapped against your cheek you wondered why you thought going out in the cold would bring any sort of circulation back to your toes. You rolled your eyes at yourself and chuckled when you caught sight of the purplish tinge along Hoseok’s throat peeking out just over the edge of his chunky crocheted scarf. (Your sister probably made it for him. And now he was using it to hide her hickies. The little hoe.)

He felt your stare and blushed, his wide animated eyes becoming sheepish as he yanked his scarf up just the littlest bit higher.

So that was why that ten minute pickup time had stretched into twenty.

Good for the both of you.

Soon, the three of you were wandering through the farm. There was a section of freshly cut trees ready to take home near the front but rows and rows of trees still rooted to the ground off into the horizon, all dusted with this week’s newest burst of powdery snow. It was a magical thing to see really.

Your sister was happily tucked into Hoseok’s lithe side, one arm looped through his, the other hand cradling a hot cup of cocoa with a candy cane poking out of the lid. Nothing if not festive. You’d opted to save your cup for later. You liked the brisk air, and you liked both your hands being deeply plunged in the warmth of your fleece lined pockets.

“Cell reception is shit up here.” Hoseok piped up. “I tried to text Namjoon to see if he was working today but all I got back was the green text bubble of death.”

“Boo, Joonie’s the worst at charging his phone too. It’s probably dead,” your sister giggled.

“Guess I’m never gonna meet your jolly green giant, Hobes,” you bumped his elbow with yours.

“With the brain of archibald asparagus,” your sister added.

“Sexy brain, that man has,” Hoseok sighed with envy.

“Your brain is sexy too, babe.” Your sister tipped up on her toes to kiss Hoseok’s wind-chapped cheek.

“Not as sexy as his,” Hoseok nodded resolutely.

“Oh, what about when he wears his little wire rimmed professor glasses?”

“Too hot. He’d melt the snow,” Hoseok swooned.

“Goodness, are you in love with my sister or him?” You teased.

“Both,” Hoseok admitted, a little too sincerely, clutching at his heart over his oversized parka.

“I don’t blame him,” your sister nodded sagely. You quirked a brow at her and she simply shrugged, all innocence, zero guilt. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you see him.”

“If I ever see him. I’m pretty sure he’s a myth.” Your skepticism came out with a snort and an opaque puff of air.

Geeze, it’s cold.

────────────────────────

At some point in the wandering, you got distracted watching a small child drag their parent by the wrist to the tree of their dreams. The scene was so wholesome and sweet. The little girl squealed with delight as a pair of squirrels skittered past them in chase, twining their way up her tree and darting down and away, ruffling soft powdery snow loose from the tree’s needles in their wake like a fairy sprinkling pixie dust.

The whole interaction was so idyllic that you’d stopped paying attention to where you were going and plowed directly into the broad back of what you were sure must be a bear. What else could it be? No man’s back was that broad, that’s for sure.

The force of it knocked you flat back on your bum, leaving you dazed in a little pile of crunchy snow and loose pine needles.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

The words came too fast, too rushed, and at sure as hell too deep of an octave to come from anyone you knew, man or bear included.

There was a massive olive green, gloved hand shoved in your face- apparently attached to whoever was apologizing so profusely. You grabbed on and let it hoist you up. Goddamn, whoever this was was strong. After flying backward just a few seconds ago, you were now flying forward, toppling directly into what seemed to be just as equally broad a chest as the back you had crashed into moments ago.

“Are you alright? I can’t believe I did that. Are you o-“

The rambling ocean wave of a voice stopped crashing over you the second you looked up and locked eyes with what you were sure was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in person.

“Holy shit,” you muttered under your breath.

The man’s full lips seemed to gape as he looked at you.

Not necessarily in an objectionable way. It was more like, the tape in his brain had spun off the track and tangled itself up like an old cassette that needed help being wound back up again. It was like his thoughts were written all over his face. If you knew him better, you could have read them like a novel. For now, you knew one thing.

He was pretty when he was thinking.

Hell, he was pretty, period.

And two, he was solid as an ox.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Mr Yun’s gonna kill me if you’re hurt. I should have been paying more attention.” He patted down the sides of your ribs and torso like he was half expecting a bone to be jutting out.

“I’m okay. I’m good. i-“ am still holding his pecs, you realized.

What a Christmas miracle they were. Geeze. He had better boobs than you. You swallowed once then smiled up at him. “Do you, by any chance, work here?”

He blinked at you. There was snow on his eyelashes. His tiny dark green beanie wasn’t doing any good at shielding his face from the snow, but god did the color look good next to his golden skin.

“Um, yes, actually. I do. Again, I’m so sorry that I-“

“Shush, enough of that. You’re going to help me pick my tree.”

“I am?”

It was his turn to swallow.

“I mean, yes. Of course I am. Can. What are you looking for?”

He was nervous. So visibly nervous. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or if it was just his general disposition. Either way, you were hopelessly endeared by it. Pretty, bumbly, abominable snowman of a man. With great tits.

“Well, I came here in a Mini Cooper, so… whatever will fit on top of that, I guess.”

He blinked again, before he smiled- wide and gracious. His eyes crinkled at the edges and Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

His dimples.

How obscene.

“Sounds like a great place to start, to me.” He laughed for the first time. It was so boisterous and rich, you were sure he’d cause an avalanche.

The sound was as deep as winter, but soothing and warm. You already wanted to hear it again.

Oh boy. You really liked this one.

────────────────────────

“So what technically constitutes ‘ethically sourced’ when it comes to Christmas trees?” You looked wide-eyed up at Namjoon.

“Um… you know I… well, usually I-I would know the answer to that.”

“But right now, you don’t?”

“I mean, I can’t say that I do.” He shrugged ruefully.

“Despite currently being employed on a Christmas tree lot?” You arched a brow at him, a wry smile pulling at your lips.

“That does seem to be the case, yes.” His brows pinched at his own glum response.

“Are you new?” Mirth glittered in your eyes as you watched him.

“No, actually, I’ve been helping Mr. Yun since college… senior year of high school technically, actually.” Namjoon looked a bit lost in space as he wracked his brain for his qualifications.

“So you should have seniority around here?”

“Sort of ? It’s just , you know, mr. yun is a friend of my parents and he’s always been good to me so I always try to return the favor and help out every year, if I can.” He swallowed.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He literally talked to people for a living. He could sell a polar bear ice, for Pete’s sake. But every time he made eye contact with you, he was practically on the verge of forgetting his own name so this whole witty repartee thing was an absolute struggle in ways it absolutely should not be.

“Well, he’s very lucky to have you then. Even if you can’t tell me where this tree came from.” You chuckled.

“No, I that- that I can do. All our Douglas firs come from grey farms about two hours north of here. Again, super kind family. They’ve been doing this for generations, actually.”

He found himself affectionately gripping the top of the tree while you smiled up at him like you had a secret and he felt a new rush of sweat rise beneath the fold of his beanie.

“So locally sourced then.”

“Family owned.” He nodded.

“Well now, that’s a great start. You know more than you let on.” You tapped an index finger into the down of his puffy coat and he felt himself flush, wishing he actually could have felt that touch.

Every part of him felt like he was back in middle school right now. It had been ages since something this simple was this difficult for him. Trying to figure out how not to trip over his words while maintaining eye contact with the you and your the luminous smile really wasn’t working at all. He should have been better at this by now, he sighed. His thirteen year old self would have been ashamed to see how little progress he’d made in that department in a decade and a half.

“So, should I choose to re-home this lovely tree, do you know of anyone who could, say, strap it to the roof of my car for me?”

Your eyes were twinkling, face framed by the softly falling snow flurries that had started up again and Namjoon felt himself swallow.

“I- I would be happy to find-“

“There you are! Finally found you- Oh, hey bro! So you are working today!” A voice bright like tangy sweet lemonade interrupted Namjoon’s inelegant struggle.

“Hoseok?” Namjoon looked mystified at the pair of you as Hoseok clasped a mittened hand around your shoulder. “How do you two-“

“This is my girl’s sister, y/n, remember? I told you we were helping her move in last week.” He explained with a happy shrug.

“This is… you’re… wow. Hey. Nice to officially meet you.” Namjoon released the tree to dizzily shake your hand, trying his best to ignore your amusement at his manic behavior.

“So you’re the mysterious friend who was too busy to help with the u-haul unloading, huh?” You quirked a brow up at Namjoon. He looked a bit green around the gills as his snow frosted lashes fell away from your gaze.

“We were slammed here that day. If it makes you feel any better, I got so much pine sap all over me that I had to toss my favorite gloves away.”

“Tsk. Now why would that make me feel better?” You teased as something mischievous glinted in your eyes.

“Because my shitty friend status made me suffer?” Namjoon shrugged.

“Well, we weren’t friends yet,” you grinned. “But now that we are, I think it’s only right that you should come over when you’re off to help the three of us decorate my new locally sourced, freshly cut Christmas tree”

“Oh absolutely!“ Hoseok piped in. “You haven’t hung out in weeks- you have to come.”

His endearing smile beamed bright across his face in a way that was impossible to fight. Bright red bits of hair peaked out beneath his beanie as he grinned widely up at Namjoon, and Namjoon was too distracted by his openness to process his nerves at the invitation.

“I mean, I guess I… I mean I wouldn’t want to intrude on…”

“Nonsense,” Hoseok interrupted,” you’d only be making the party better! Y/n needs all the friends she can get anyway. Poor thing’s stuck hanging out with us all the time- she could use a few new faces in the rotation, right little sis?” He hip checked you, ruffling your hair with the hand slung over your shoulder.

“Not your little sis yet,” you countered, eyes full of challenge.

“Wait, Hobi, this Christmas are you gonna…” Namjoon twisted his left hand, the gesture caught vaguely somewhere between the Queens wave and the single ladies dance.

Hoseok pulled a nervous face, brows lifting and jaw tightening until his smile bared all his teeth, as he patted the chest of his puffer coat.

“I’ve been carrying it around for weeks actually. Can’t seem to find the right time.”

“Are you insane?” You swatted him. “You brought it with you here? What if you lose it in the snow, you dummy?!”

“Ow!” Hoseok rubbed his shoulder dramatically. “The little ones are always fighters.”

You rolled your eyes as Namjoon blushed for reasons beyond him. Maybe he didn’t need any more explanation than the fact that you were cute as hell and he liked seeing you laugh.

“Your sister would never hit me like that,” Hoseok huffed.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have to because she knows I’d do it for her. Now why on gods green earth is the ring just chilling in your pocket while you stroll through endless yards of nature??”

“I keep it with me in case there’s a moment that just feels right. I’ll already be ready, you know.”

Hoseok’s face was far away, dreamy.

Namjoon was happy for him, even if he wanted a little piece of his friend’s wonder for himself one day.

“I still think you should propose to her at home in your little jungle. You have to know how happy that would make her,” you asserted.

Namjoon thought back to his last visit to Hoseok’s apartment. The walls had almost been alive with the amount of trailing vines climbing toward the ceiling. It was otherworldly, serene, like an indoor garden. It would be a spectacular place to propose actually.

“I think she’s right. It would be pretty damn perfect, Hob.” Namjoon offered.

“Ooo, did you hear that?” Slipping out from under Hoseok’s slinky arm, you attached yourself to Namjoon’s bulky one. “He already knows I’m always right. The company you keep, Hobi. I like this one.”

You squeezed Namjoon’s bicep, and he swore he could feel the warmth of your touch through his puffer jacket. He knew his cheeks had to match Hoseok’s fire engine hair now.

“Hey, be sweet to him. He’s sensitive,” Hoseok tutted as he pinched Namjoon’s rosy face despite being swatted away by one Namjoon’s big hands.

“I… is this the tree you’re settled on y/n? If it is, I should start getting it wrapped for you.”

“Hoist it on the beige Mini Cooper in the back, eh Hulk?” Hoseok patted his unoccupied bicep, giving it a happy squeeze as he pushed past Namjoon. “Im off to find where my poison Ivy wandered off to again. Probably somewhere talking to the cedars.” He shook his head softly but gosh, there was nothing but fondness in his happily crinkled eyes. “You two don’t get up to anything too wild while I’m gone now, yeah? We haven’t even brought out the baileys and the eggnog yet. Save it for later - or I’ll be the one kissing Joonie under the mistletoe.”

Hoseok wiggled his fingers and brows in puppety unison as he vanished through the trees, leaving Namjoon alone with you once again.

“He’s quite the character isn’t he?” You chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

“He’s good to my sister though. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“They’re pretty made for each other,” Namjoon nodded in assent as you sighed.

It wasn’t until he looked down to catch your expression that he realized you were still holding onto his arm. Jesus Christ of Nazareth, was he going to faint in a Christmas tree lot?

You looked up then, a soft giggle bubbling out of you when you saw whatever his distress was doing to his face, and squeezed his arm before walking a few snowy paces ahead.

“Come on, tiger. The quicker we take care of this, the quicker we can get out of the cold.”

Namjoon had never followed anyone faster in his life.

────────────────────────

Why had the three of you come in a compact car?

This was pure delusion.

The tree Namjoon had helped you pick loomed over the front windshield like something from whoville. Good thing you weren’t the one driving. Good luck with that visibility, Hobi.

You and your sister stood side by side, linked at the elbow while the two men tied the tree down to the roof of the car.

“Think we’ll tip over in a strong breeze?” You queried.

“I think we’ll tip over if anyone even looks at us funny,” your sister giggled.

Her laughter was contagious and soon you were both cackling uncontrollably as Hoseok and Namjoon secured your dr Seuss tree to the roof of her car. Namjoon looked back over his shoulder, making accidental eye contact with you. You let your gaze rove over his absurdly pretty face, eyes lingering around the high corners of his cheekbones and the doughy imprints of those audaciously sweet dimples of his.

“My god, just look at him,” you sighed. “It’s like heaven tried to make focaccia bread when they made his face and decided to stop two pokes in because it was already perfect.”

Your sister looked between you and Namjoon, chuckling when the giant of a man turned away bashfully, as if those big shoulders could make him disappear.

“I told you he was pretty,” she shrugged. “And you gave me your judgy eyebrows.”

“I was a fool,” you sighed again. “In my defense, I didn’t know there could be boys prettier than Hobi around here.”

“Wait til you meet the children. Jimin and Jungkook are so beyond anything you could even comprehend. Beautiful little whores.”

“There’s more?” Your brows shot up high.

“Oh and Taehyung! Taehyung will charm you right out of your coat. He’s the dangerous one. I can’t even make eye contact with him without stammering,” she shook her head in derision.

“Whew boy, what a winter we’re in for.” You rocked up on your toes with a whistle.

“Winter is a mercy. Seokjin’s shoulders in summer? Glory be.”

Lovingly, you squeezed her tighter into your side. “At least we have Yoongi on our side.”

“Oh, no ma’am, we do not. He’s the worst one!”

“Min Yoongi ?” You gasped. “No!”

“Yes! He’ll sneak right up on you out of nowhere just when you think you’re finally friends and keep your glass full of wine all night until you accidentally spill all your most embarrassing high school secrets,” she muttered.

“No,…not the pyramid.”

“Yes, the pyramid. And he’ll get it on tape too. Adorable little bastard. Don’t let that cute little gummy smile fool you. He’s ruthless.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard your big sister curse before.

The pout on her face was too priceless not to laugh at so you did. The laughter was robust and full- it came straight from somewhere deep in your belly and pretty soon she was laughing too, hiding her face in the faux fur collar of your coat. The two of you clinging to each other as you cackled like wild children in the snow.

────────────────────────

Hoseok looked over the roof at the two of you and melted into an inordinately affectionate grin.

“You could just go ask her now and put yourself out of your misery, you know,” Namjoon chuckled to himself.

“Nah, she’s so happy right now. I’ll let them have their moment.”

Namjoon let himself study you.

The two of you looked so much alike yet so different. Your sister was all spun sugar and sweetness, quick as a dragonfly on the breeze. But you, well, he didn’t quite know how to put it into words. You were still sweet, but it was different. There was something more rich, a bit more solid about your aura. If your sister was candy floss, then his best guess - based on his limited interaction with you- was that you were salted caramel.

The thought had him pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He wanted to know what else made up the pieces of you. He wanted to get off this shift so he could be in the same room as you. So he could be alone with you.

He wanted to get you under the mistletoe and taste those pretty lips of yours.

But of course, that meant he had to have a coherent conversation with you first.

“Hey, quit undressing my baby sister with your eyes,” Hoseok snapped.

Namjoon shook his head, rattled the stars out of his eyes.

“My bad. Sorry, man.”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” Hoseok huffed. “Hey, I think I’m getting good at this protective big brother thing. That was pretty convincing right ?” He beamed proudly.

“More than you know… hey, we should be good here.”

Namjoon patted the now secure tree, rustling a bit of soft snow loose from its branches.

“Then it’s time to get this baby back on the road!”

Hoseok slapped the chassis and the car jingled— jingled!

“I can’t believe you’re gonna marry a Christmas elf,” Namjoon snickered.

“Hey, you’re one to talk, Yukon Cornelius. You work at a damn tree farm. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be next. Y/n is just as bad as her sister.”

Namjoon stole another glance your way, his eyes darting away in a flash when he realized you were already watching him, something sultry glittering in your gaze that he tucked away in his pockets to think about later.

“Maybe being next wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” he smiled to himself.

────────────────────────

Before you could get off the tree lot, Namjoon was running back to the car, something small in his hands that you couldn’t make out.

You were crammed in the back seat between the extra boughs your sister had bought to turn into wreaths and garlands. All the evergreen scents made you feel like a new car air freshener. God. It was gonna be a long ride back to the city.

Namjoon knocked on the glass in a hurry, and you rolled the window down. What on earth was he-

“You never got your cocoa.”

“What?”

“You said you were gonna wait to nurse it on the ride home so I got… I got you cocoa.” His volume trailed as he handed the cup to you, like he was second guessing every action in his life that had brought him to this moment.

“Oh, I…” you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t trust yourself not to open your mouth and accidentally tell him you were already in love with him and did he know a guy who could get you both a marriage license by sundown.

“Kim Namjoon. You absolute sweetheart,” your sister gushed from the front seat.

Namjoon’s cheeks went from rosy from the cold to plum from embarrassment. You’d never wanted to kiss someone’s eyelashes before.

“Well, that’s all. I gotta get back. i-“

“Thank you,” you whispered, eyes flicking up from beneath your lashes to meet his.

“I…. Yeah. I.. I hope you like it.” His smile was wide, inebriated, giddy. You swore you could see the stars during the daylight.

“I’m sure I will. Six o clock. Tonight. You can come right?”

He nodded, bobbleheaded and boysish.

“Yeah. I’ll grab the address from Hobi.”

“Oh will you now?” Hoseok piped up from the front.

“Hobi, shut up or I will end you,” you threatened through your own teeth as he and your sister laughed at you.

“Tonight?” You called to Namjoon as Hoseok began to shift the car into gear.

“Tonight!” Namjoon shouted back, both his arms waving over head as the car pulled off and he shrank into something small in the distance.

Settling back in your seat, you brought the cup to your lips and breathed in the steamy liquid. You noticed a little black heart drawn in sharpie on the cup, remembered seeing a sharpie tucked behind one of Namjoon’s ears and smiled to yourself like you’d just been passed a note in eighth grade.

You looked up to see two sets of eyes watching you in the rear view.

“Oh god, eyes on the road mom and dad. This has nothing to do with you.”

Your sister giggled, “well I for one am very happy for both of you.”

Hoseok chimed in with a “right? They’re cute.”

God. What a pair of menaces.

You sank in your seat but couldn’t help but smile.

“He is cute, isn’t he?” You whispered into your cocoa cup.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a long ride home after all.

────────────────────────

“Why did I let you make me think this was a good idea? I don’t even have any furniture! What, we’re gonna make that Goliath sit on boxes for a chair?”

You were frazzled. Namjoon had texted Hobi that he’d be at your place in half an hour. Suddenly the idea of that massive man being in your tiny apartment drinking eggnog out of a solo cup that you’re sure would look like a shot glass in his massive hands made no sense at all.

“First of all, this was your idea,” Hoseok chuckled,” so don’t pin this on me.”

“Traitor.” You whispered.

“But if it makes you nervous, I can shout out the boys to swing by.”

“What? How does that make any sense? Why would we add more people I have no place for? Come on now, use the brain in that pretty head, Hobi.” You rapped your knuckles against his temple as he laughed at you- laughed!

“ I am! It’ll make it feel less like a date. Less pressure to talk one on one there’s a little more of a crowd,” he shrugged like it was that easy. Maybe it was.

“Okay. Fine. Do it. But somebody’s gonna have to bring food cuz there’s nothing in that fridge but eggs and kombucha.”

“God, we need to feed you, little one.” Hobi frowned, concerned.

“Groceries are on tomorrow's to do list. I wasn’t expecting to feed a small army today. I was just gonna grab some take out once you and the missus went home.”

“And you still can. I’ll see if JK can snag something from work.”

A key jingled in the lock as your sister shimmied her way in the door, arms filled with Christmas decorations with a string of gold tinsel draped across her throat like a feather boa.

“I’m back! Hobi, baby, I texted you. Can you bring the other bin up?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and darted out the door.

“Holy mackerel, it’s gonna look like Santa’s workshop exploded in here.” You took in the sheer amount of tinsel, lights and decor your sister had managed to manhandle up the stairs.

“Oh stop you. They’re just extra decorations and props from the photography studio. I figured you can use what you like, and we’ll just put them back when the season’s over.” She shrugged.

“I’ll take free decorations that I don’t have to store any day.” You asserted with a grin. Peeling the sticky back off a command strip, you climbed up on a chair to hang the dang thing as close to the ceiling as you could reach. Your sister came behind you to spot you. No sense letting you break your neck before the guest of honor even got here.

“Most of our mini sessions are over anyway. Nobody should be trying to book their Christmas card photos after December 14th, and if they do, they deserve the Charlie Brown Christmas tree they get.”

It always tickled you when your sister tried to be matter of fact. You knew good and well she was too accommodating not to at least try to bend.

“Lay down the law, sis. Hey, hand me those string lights will you. Can you plug them in?”

The room burst into light in a cacophony of colors.

“Whew. Multi. Bold.”

“Sorry, I didn’t check if they were colorful or warm white first. Shoot.”

She looked so chagrined. It was so sweet. Here she was being so giving and thoughtful, and she really thought you were gonna have the nerve to be picky.

“Shush, you. They’ll look great. It’s kind of… cozy. Very vintage Christmas. Nostalgia chic,” you smiled, and she smiled with you, relieved.

“Hey, you don’t need to be nervous about Joonie.”

“I don’t?” You looked up at your sister through your lashes.

“He’s really a sweetheart.”

“I mean, I can tell that from space.” You smiled.

“Don’t be smart, you know what I mean, dummy.”

“Wait, which one am I ? Smart or dumb?” You laughed.

“Goofy. But I mean it. He’s such a good guy. His last relationship didn’t go so well,” the color of your sister’s voice changed then. “It was a long time ago. It was. I’m sure he hardly thinks about it anymore. It’s just, I think we’re all rooting for him to find someone who realizes just how lovely he is.”

Hobi chose just then to come clunking through the front door.

“Look who I found!”

Sure enough, all six foot something of Namjoon was right behind him, bashfully twisting a Santa hat between his nervous hands despite still wearing his little green beanie from the tree farm on his head.

Thirty minutes, my ass, you grumbled internally. But out loud you said : “Hey! You made it!”

He looked so big in your doorframe like that. Were his shoulders going to fit? Surely he was going to get stuck like Santa in a chimney flue.

“Looks like you guys got the tree up no problem.” He offered gently.

“Me and Hobi accessed our inner lumberjacks and got it done.” You flexed one bicep and Hoseok patted it like it was made of steel. You both giggled like the weirdos you were as Namjoon smiled softly, still hulking in your doorway like a vampire in need of an invite to cross the threshold.

“Come inside, you silly boy,” your sister tutted. “You’ve let half the winter in.” She tugged Namjoon’s sleeve as he ducked his head to come inside. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.

He looked so nervous shucking his snow-caked boots off by your front door. It made you want to put him at ease.

“I can take your coat, and… whichever piece of headwear you’d prefer not to wear,” you eyed his double hat situation for the second time as he seemed to notice it for the first.

“Oh shoot. Am I still?” He snatched at his scalp and realized it was shrouded in green yarn. Pulling the beanie off, he inadvertently gave you a glimpse of his face framed by his thick head of tousled ebony hat hair. You weren’t sure if you wanted to climb up to fix it for him or pull him into your room and make it worse. “Can I use your bathroom?” He blurted.

“Mmm hmm. Down the hall, to the right.”

He thanked you, banking around you and the corner to hide in the bathroom.

As the door clicked shut, you locked eyes with your sister across the room. Even you felt how desperate you looked. She had the gall to laugh at you.

Traitor.

────────────────────────

Maybe this was going to be alright after all.

Sure enough, each of Hoseok’s boys rolled in, each one prettier than the last. The apartment had never been so blessed.

Jungkook brought two massive trays of food from chick fil a with enough side sauces to last until the apocalypse. What a fascinating juxtaposition he was. Wide eyes, innocent pink lips puckered unsurely around a little silver hoop and the dimensions of a Mack truck. How someone with that much ink curling across his skin was allowed to serve the lord’s chicken, you did not know, but you did know that god himself must have had a hand in sculpting his perky little peach of an ass. Glory.

Jimin and his obscenely pretty face brought champagne. Taehyung and his intense eyebrows brought vintage Christmas vinyls and a record player that looked like an old leather suitcase that he’d carried up the stairs on his hip like a briefcase. As soon as he’d gotten settled he’d put on Bing Crosby’s rendition of “white Christmas” and waltzed with Jimin around your kitchen island.

Seokjin brought the good food. Yoongi brought the good liquor. Your sister and Hoseok brought the laughter and joy.

It was a perfect way to spend a December night.

Somewhere during the course of the night, seokjin - who was wearing a Christmas sweater with an embroidered cat on it that he referred to as The Second Coming of Min Yoongi- decided to make an old fashioned popcorn garland for your tree. As he and Yoongi squabbled over how to properly thread a needle, you realized it had been ages since you’d seen Namjoon.

When he’d emerged from the bathroom earlier, his soft skin had been glistening as if he’d splashed water on his face. His hair looked to have been slicked back with wet hands, while one stubborn piece jutted forward to softly frame his brows. You’d gulped down your drink and avoided eye contact, knowing good and well your face was probably screaming “for the love of god, please marry me” every time you looked at him.

In your self-preservation, you feared it may have come across as plain avoidance. You needed to find him.

He’d driven all this way.

The tree farm was so far and he’d been working in the cold all day. Yet somehow he was here in your tiny home, without a single complaint.

Earlier in the night, you’d nearly tipped off your chair ladder trying to put the star on your tree and he’d caught you, scooping you up bridal style like it was as natural for him as breathing air. It was an unnecessary gesture. You really hadn’t been that far off the ground and the show of strength was absolutely welcome but embarrassing nonetheless. You’d been cradled in his chest again and god, it had taken everything in you to fight the instinct to bury your face between his pecs.

“Stop objectifying my sweet baby. You’ll taint him.” Hoseok had teased from across the room.

You’d shot him a death glare as a glum Namjoon had placed you gently on the ground.

“Sorry. Hope I didn’t make that awkward. I just… you were falling and…”

“It’s alright, Joon. Thank you.” Your smile was earnest. You watched the way his reaction played across his face like a movie. It made you want to kiss him. “Besides, I should’ve put the tallest man on the job in the first place.”

His dimples had reappeared then, and you’d felt the oxygen in the room go thin.

You’d been avoiding him ever since.

Pressing up off your IKEA futon and stepping around the push up - off a shirtless Jungkook was currently doing as Jimin sat cross legged on his back and Taehyung counted, you set off to find Namjoon.

In less than six hundred square feet, there weren’t many places he could go. Everyone else was in the kitchen/living room. That really only left the open bathroom, the balcony- which your sister and Hoseok were currently cuddled up on, watching the snow fall- and your bedroom.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pushed open the door, but somehow Namjoon folded up on the floor studying the lower tier of your bookshelf actually made loads of sense. You hadn’t been aware someone that large could fold themselves into something so small. His long fingers trailed over the spines of your favorite books and something in your lower belly swirled.

You could have spent the rest of the night just watching him read.

That, however, even in your own home, might be kinda creepy so you decided to announce your presence instead.

“Howdy stranger,” you crooned, leaning shoulder first into the door jamb.

Namjoon startled, clutching his chest like you’d just given him a heart attack. His long limbs flailed, knocking into the bookshelf like the baby moose he was, sending a small picture frame careening down onto his head. It knocked his Santa hat off kilter, leaving the beautiful man looking like a bamboozled disaster.

Your laughter filled the room as he collected himself, straightening his hat and placing your frame back on the shelf. You came to sit beside him, hugging your knee and leaning one shoulder into his.

“Whatcha doing? Whatcha reading, more importantly?” You shot him a pointed look paired with a smile you hoped was disarming.

“Oh. Uh, nothing yet. I didn’t mean to pry. I just… well there was so much going on in the living room. I just wanted to get some air so I stepped in here, but I ended up getting lost in your book collection.”

His fingers trailed their spines again, and you felt a shiver down yours.

“You like to read?”

It was a pitiful question on your part really. Clearly he did. He was surrounded by your personal mini library, and it was the most comfortable you’d seen him be all day.

“Oh it’s the best thing, really. You can learn so much about a person by looking at the things they like to read.”

“And what have you learned about me?”

You felt yourself hold your breath as he looked down, dimples daring to show themselves again now that the two of you were in a private place.

“Well, it seems like you appreciate the classics, for one.”

His finger traced the curve of letters embossed in gold on an ivory spine.

“I went through an intense thrift shopping phase over the last few years. I got kind of obsessive about collecting beautiful books,” you confessed.

“You should come to my store sometime then. You’d love the first editions section.”

There was a pride glittering in beautiful dark brown eyes, the first swell of something like confidence showing in them.

“You work at a bookstore too?” You tilted your head to the side in question as his trademark sheepishness returned.

“Um, own. Co-own, really. Between me, Seokjin and Yoongi.”

“Stop- seriously?” You felt yourself press into his space without meaning to. The sharp, earthy smells of cedar and pine still swirled on him, but underneath that was soft clean soap. You found yourself wanting to press your nose into his throat. You realized too late that your eyes had been doing it for you, and Namjoon had caught you doing it.

Cleaning his throat, something in him seemed to grow bold.

He didn’t shy away anymore. He pressed up off the palms he’d been leaning back on and leaned into your space like you did into his. His thumb pulled your bottom lip out of your teeth, tracing along the edge of it softly.

“Seriously.”He whispered, the timber of his voice deep as winter.

His deep set gaze grew heavy as the moment lingered. You caught sight of his tongue flicking out to wet his full lips as his thumb traced yours and suddenly you felt all your grace leave you all at once.

“You should stay.”

It came out breathy, soft. You knew your face must have given away how molten you felt beneath his touch. He chuckled gently, eyes warm as he smirked. Only half a dimple this time, you noticed.

“Stay?” He arched a brow your way.

“When the others leave… you should stay.”

It was crazy, but the lightheaded part of you that was under his spell couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more.

Suddenly, he was soft again. Eyes no longer serpentine but wide. Kind.

“Is that… would you… like that?”

You smiled at him, sweet as strawberries, and then you were kissing him.

Just once. Slow, gentle, but deep.

There was a hint of cinnamon on his lips. Hobi had picked up some horchata at his favorite taqueria on the way back. He must have given some to Joon. You smiled against his mouth, licked into it once. Felt his chest vibrate with the groan it created.

When you pulled back, he was dazed, staring at you like you were made of stars. Eyeing you like he wanted to know what else you were made of. His lip bitten like he was too hungry to wait.

“Stay.” You breathed again.

“I’ll stay.” He whispered back.

────────────────────────

When the last person had left the apartment, you’d locked the door behind them.

Suddenly it was truly just you and him.

You’d turned, back to your front door and looked at him, eyes sultry, smile sweet.

Namjoon was across the room, too busy drinking you in to remember how to move. But you hadn’t forgotten, it seemed. You took your time crossing the small room. The vivid lights cast bursts of blue and red across your skin- it made your eyes look unearthly, tempting in a way Namjoon was incapable of fighting.

You stopped in front of him, palms pressed to his chest. He felt his eyelids grow heavy at the sensation, but he wouldn’t let his eyes close. Not yet. He didn’t want to miss a moment of you.

You slid your hands up his chest, alongside his throat, skimming his jaw and cupping his face. You stood between his legs and god, did he want to rock his hips against you. You were already leaning into him, your hips pressed into his pelvis. What were his corduroys gonna do? He knew you could feel him already swelling against you.

Your brushed soft thumbs across the angles of his face. He reciprocated by tenderly pushing your hair out of your face. Was your heart racing like his?

Slipping his hands down, he tugged the buckle of your belt forward into him with a thunk. He crept his thumbs beneath the sweater you’d tucked into your high black jeans, and let his fingers swirl against your stomach, smoothing over the dips at your waist. Your body was so soft. He felt himself grow warmer, swell against you harder. When your eyes clouded over and your bit your lip, he knew he was sunk.

“I’m gonna take this off now, okay ?” He whispered, tugging at your sweater as you nodded, glassy eyed and obedient, up at him. Jesus.

Why was he whispering? He didn’t know. It just felt right, he thought. Felt right like being beside you all night had felt. Felt right like he knew being inside you was gonna feel.

When he slipped the sweater up over your head, your earring got caught. A little gold hoop snagged in the knit.

Breathe, he reminded himself, go slow. You don’t have to rush.

He soon realized that was advice he was going to need to take to heart in more ways than one the second he untangled you and saw your glittering smile glowing brightly, saw the way your breasts were spilling smooth and fleshy over the confines of your lacy little balconette bra.

Jesus. Fuck.

Turns out he’d said both out loud and your glossy eyes grew hungrier the longer he looked at you.

“Do something, daddy.” You teased, voice low, gaze heady.

“Christ, y/n,” he drawled as his self-control blacked out.

Soon he was pushing your breasts together, burying his face between them. Sucking one into his warm mouth, scooping the other loose from the dark lace. He had one large hand firmly fitted just behind the buckle of your jeans as the other cupped your breast that wasn’t in his mouth, thumb diligently flicking your nipple until it grew stiff like a meringue peak. He slipped that one in his mouth then, tongue picking up pace his thumb had set and tweaking the nipple on your other breast.

You panted beneath his touch, sinking and molding into him like warm clay in his hands. He wasn’t sure when his hips had started to glide against you, but god, yours were moving too, supple and fluid like water. He needed to get you out of the rest of these clothes. He needed to find out if he could mark your breasts and neck black and purple with his mouth like he wanted to while he fucked you. You really did taste sweet, just like he thought you would. God, he wanted to take a bite out of you.

Pleasantries first though, he reminded himself.

Pushing his head back against the wall, he tried to catch his breath but your nimble fingers were working open the snaps on his corduroys instead.

“Question-“ he asked breathless.

“Answer,” you grinned, triumphant as you finally popped the latch on his pants.

“Jesus, fuck. Cripes.” His eyes fluttered shut as you ran his zipper down and reached beneath his boxer briefs to grab him.

“Which one of those was a question?” You smirked, licking your thumb before brushing it gently across the fleshy tip of him. His stomach dipped in, toned muscle crunching in on itself as your big man buckled under your touch.

“Okay, okay okay. I’m gonna have to ask this quick before you make me spontaneously finish on your tits touching me like that. Whew.” His eyes were blown, head back. Unprepared for you licking more fingers and slipping back down to gingerly play with his balls. “Oh my gooooooood. Okay. Okay. Okay. Marks?”

“Like hickies?” You asked curiously, your hand moving of its own accord to grip him firmly at the base and pull up.

“Yeah, yeah hickies,” he panted, his pretty skin growing sweaty.

“I like that.” You smiled, wide and way too pretty for him to handle right now.”it’s winter. Go crazy, big boy.”

He nodded raggedly, his brow furrowed deep as he bit his lip. He almost looked angry, he had no way of knowing it made you incredibly aroused.

“Tits. I like your…tits. A lot. So much. They’re so pretty.”

You smiled into his throat as you kissed his neck and pumped him silly.

“Joonieee, youre so sweet.” You nipped at his collarbone, giggling at shiver that ran through him.

“Would it… could I… Jesus, woman, why are you so good at that? Screw this. Fuck it. Can I cum on you, your chest at the end of this?” His eyes were direct now, serpentine and lusty as he licked his lips, ran a thumb along the swell of your breast.

“Yeah ?” You ran your tongue along his neck, sending another tremor through him.

“Yeah. You’d look so pretty with my cum on your chest. I mean, they look so pretty already, but Yeah, god yeah I want that.” he nodded.

“Okay. Promise. You can finish on my pretty titties, if you want.” You laughed.

“I want.”

“I’ll even let you fuck them if you want.”

“Christ. You said…what?” He was out of breath, lightheaded from the thought of himself being pressed between the two warm pillowy clouds on your chest.

“Uh huh, if you don’t finish inside me first, that is,” you breathed in his ear.

“Oh my god. Not fair. Get on the bed, now.” He said it with an edge, a grit you didn’t expect from your sweet nervous Christmas tree man. A bite that made you want to obey. Made you want to fuck his brains out. Made you want to be his baby girl so you followed along and played nice. He fumbled with your belt as you melted. You did what you were told and climbed back on up onto the bed, stripping the rest of the way for him along the way.

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As he followed, he pulled his thick wool sweater over his head, black hair falling in gorgeous eyes as he did. The full reveal of his torso left the space between your legs glossy and sticky in ways you hadn’t known it could be. His Jeans and black boxer briefs went next and then he was climbing up and over you, golden and lanky and strong and hung.

Jesus , fuck, Indeed.

He smiled at you, sourdough dimples and serpentine eyes as he slowed down.

“I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”

You nodded, obedient, nervous, eager. You wanted him. God, how did you describe how badly you wanted Kim Namjoon? His lips were plump, sweet, inexhaustibly delicious. His tongue slipped deep into your mouth, his hand firm but sweet on your hip as it climbed up your torso.

Your tits were in his mouth again, tongue flicking wildly as he moaned around your fullness and your nipple. He tweaked the other, switching back and forth as he rutted his too big dick into the meat of your thigh.

“Question,” you gasped, breathless.

“Answer, baby,” his hooded eyes were looking darkly up at you as his thumb slipped its way down to gloss smoothly over your silky clit. You cried out, and he smiled, mouth still filled with your voluptuous tit.

“Daddy?” You questioned, and the primal groan that rattled through his chest and through the sharp twitch of his dick against your leg answered any further queries you had to ask.

“Yes, please, baby. “

He slid up to suck a dark splotch into your neck, his dick sliding up and catching on the slippery ridge of your clit as he did.

“I can call you that ? Can I call you daddy?” You gasped.

He simply nodded, dropping kisses along your collarbone and throat as he lined up to finally slip inside you. The fit was snug, the drag of him along your inner walls sublime as he rocked, working you more and more open to the massive size of him. You smiled, delirious, giddy, as he fucked you like you were divine.

You came three times that night, he came twice. Once inside you and once on your pretty tits. Then one more time down your throat in the morning.

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“There’s not much, but I have…. Let’s see. Coffee, kombucha, seokjin’s leftover gingerbread men… oh and eggs. Can I make you eggs?” You fluttered your lashes up at him. “I’d really like to make you eggs.”

Namjoon looked so cute. Face puffy, lips full. Hair still damp from the shower he took. You’d both been too nervous to shower together, so you’d taken turns and done it separately. You thanked god you actually owned two bath towels to make it possible. He was so adorable. It made you want to cook for the man.

“Sure,” he nodded. Mercy, his voice was even deeper in the morning. He’d barely used it so far today, aside from the sexy groans that had spilled out of him this morning when you’d woken him up with your cheek resting sweetly on his inner thigh and his cock in your warm mouth. (You’d gotten consent the night before, of course.)

“Um, how do you take your coffee? And is scrambled okay? I make really good scrambled eggs.”

He smiled warmly, his gruff exterior softening with your exuberance. He nodded his assent and you got to work getting out the egg carton, your chopsticks, the milk and your lone skillet.

“Oh, wait. Your coffee, how do you take your coffee?”

You turned in your robe, a harsh pivot, just to accidentally end up nose to Namjoon’s sweatshirt covered tits with an Ooof.

He kissed your hair, a deep chuckle from the depths of his throat booming through his chest. He was wearing one of your giant college sweatshirts ( that fit just on the roomy side of just right on him) and his black boxer briefs, his substantial thighs looking gorgeous as ever as he stood barefoot in your kitchen. What a turn of events.

He slipped his sturdy arms around your waist from behind, pushing up against the underside of your boobs and buried his blushing face in your hair.

“Black. Just a little cream is good.” He murmured as you sank back against him.

You weren’t used to how soothing another person’s presence could be.

“Gotcha. I’ll grab the-“

He chuckled, pulling you tightly into him to stop your scurrying.

“Shhh. I got it. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss deep into the skin on your neck. It melted you just a little bit further into the solidity of him.

“For what?”

“Last night. This morning. Yesterday. All of it.”

His confidence dipped again. Cockiness replaced by a sincerity so disarming you felt your heart dip softly. He’s so sweet, you thought as you gently caressed the forearm he had draped over your stomach.

“Yes, well…I ….” it was then you realized you didn’t know what to say. In lieu of words, you kissed his palm.

“You’re already making us breakfast. Least I can do is grab my own coffee… you want some?” He nudged the tip of his nose against the top of your ear.

Being that close to his voice made you shiver. You nodded without realizing it. The sound of his voice made you want to be so obedient to him. Why were you so turned on by him being kind, damnit ?

His hands fitted themselves to your hips, pushing the fullness of your bottom back against his hips. You were about to tell him you take yours with sugar and more cream than coffee when your phone began to ring.

Startled, you bolted out of his arms to find… your sister trying to FaceTime you?

Kissing Namjoon’s cheek, you stepped away to answer. Queuing up the screen, you were thoroughly unprepared for brilliant, happy screams pealing through the phone. There was too much motion to make out an image at first, until finally. you caught a glimpse of sparkle. It was the ring Hoseok had shown you a picture of the day he decided to custom order it for your sister.

“Hobi proposed!!!” Your sister squealed. No regard for the neighbors, this one.

“When?”

“Last night. When we got home. Y/n it was perfect…. I could tell he seemed weird when we were on the balcony yesterday, oddly stiff. Like he was trying to tell me something, but it wasn’t making any sense. I teased him and told him to try again later. I was just being dumb- I didn’t know! but when we got home, I had gone upstairs to change out of my Christmas tree clothes and when I came back. He was on his knees in the kitchen.”

Your sister clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with happy tears. Smart boy, he’d listened to you and Namjoon.

“Y/n, I’m gonna be a wife. I'm gonna marry Hobi. Y/n, I’m so happy I could cry,” she sniffled as tears spilled over the backs of her knuckles.

“Baby, you are crying,” you teased, your own eyes growing glassy too.

“Hey, that’s MY BABY” you heard Hoseok yell from somewhere off camera.

“She was mine first,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly.

“Congrats, man!” Namjoon cheered from his spot by your coffee pot.

“Thanks bro!” Hoseok called back.

“Wait.” Your sister started….

Oh no.

“Was that…” Hoseok added.

No. No. No. no. No.

“Oh my god. Y/n, was that Namjoon?! Did he spend the night?!? Oh my gosh are you two in love now?!?

Startled you let you out something between a yelp and a shriek, dropping your phone on the carpet.

“Did you hold onto those arms of his all night?” Your sister teased.

“Wait-“ Hoseok interrupted ,” do you have a thing for Namjoon’s arms babe?”

“Everyone does,” your sister quipped.” You do too Hobi.”

“That’s not the point… eh! We’re Balenciaga buddies!” Hoseok cheered, the snap of elastic ringing through the air.

Apparently your phone fell in such a way that the camera gave them a beautiful view of Namjoon’s sleek black briefs and the tree trunks they were stretched around.

“Stop objectifying him!” You scolded Hoseok.

“I will when you do!” He taunted.

“Oh my god I can’t do this.” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed as Namjoon scooped both you and your phone up from behind again

“Then I will.” He whispered in your ear. “Congratulations you guys!”

Hoseok and your sister gushed something sticky sweet about how obnoxiously in love you and Namjoon were and you couldn’t help it, you smiled too. You told your sister how happy you were for her, promising to call her later with all the juicy details before finally hanging up the phone and burying your face in Namjoon’s hard tiddy. Which he flexed for you, god bless him, before also flexing his yummy, yummy arms around you until you burst into a fit of giggles.

“I like this,” he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Me too…. Got any plans today?.”

“Nope. I’m off the rest of the weekend.”

“Wanna go grocery shopping with me after I cook you eggs?”

“Are you just using me for my car?” He squinted slyly at you with a smile.

“No. That hadn’t occurred to me actually. I was actually planning on using your height and your body for my own personal benefit.” You answered thoughtfully.

“Oh.” His eyes went a bit wide like he hadn’t thought about that option. “Well. Then. Can I use you for yours?” He asked innocently.

“Sure. Although, you should know, I’m all talk. I’m the biggest softie…. I’m pretty sure if you’d asked me to marry you when we were talking tree-sourcing ethics, I would have strongly considered saying yes.”

Crap. You hadn’t planned on admitting all that. This was his fault. He was just so damn sincere. Those stupid eyes of his were so goddamn kind. You kept forgetting to put a guard up around him.

As you braced for him to be thoroughly traumatized by your admission, nothing of the sort came. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he hugged you beneath the ribs and hoisted you in a circle, nuzzling his cheek tenderly into your cheek.

“Oh thank GOD” he exhaled.

“I’m sorry- what?”

“I’ve spent all morning trying to figure out how to tell you how much I like you without making you feel like you might become the subject of the next true crime podcast.” He ran a hand through his silky hair as you stood stunned where he’d set you down to process his words.

“You….”

“Yeah…”

“That bad?”

“Honestly I’m not opposed to taking your last name if you asked me.” He shrugged.

You covered your face with both hands, shaking it ruefully despite the cosmically bright smile on your face. Soon you were both howling with laughter in each other’s arms, smiling into Namjoon’s deep eyes.

“This is crazy! We’re crazy.”

“I know.” He nodded in agreement.

“I like you.”

“I really like you.”

“I don’t know the first thing about you.”

“Let’s find out together, shall we?”

You felt your eyes fill with annoyingly happy tears. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“You just moved here right?”

“Yeah. Finally- should have done it ages ago. My turn-Why do you and Hoseok have matching designer underwear ?”

“We all do actually. It was Jimin and Seokjins doing a couple Christmases ago.”

“But just one pair each right?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon nodded, brows hunched in confusion.

“Okay. So that means you’re telling me you and Hobi just happened to be on the same daily boxer rotation the day you both fucked a pair of sisters with the same DNA?”

“Please don’t word it that way.” Namjoon grimaced.

“I worded it how it is,” you shrugged.

“My turn. Why do you really want me to go to the grocery with you, Hmm?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Besides the company? For the view when I make you stretch for everything I’ve ever needed on the top shelf, Babyyy.”

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” He couldn’t contain his laughter.

“As a heart attack.” You winked.

“C’mon. Show me how you make these super fluffy eggs I’ve heard so much about. I’m starving. The gorgeous girl who owns this apartment milked me dry three times in less than twelve hours. I’m famished.”

Goddamn him and those cheeky little dimples.

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#kim namjoon x you #BTS fic #BTS fanfiction #kim Namjoon smut #kim namjoon x y/n #kim Namjoon x oc #rm x you #rm x reader #bts fanfic #BTS fluff #BTS smut #BTS Christmas fic #Kim Namjoon Christmas fic #jung hoseok x you #jung hoseok x reader #knj fic #KNJ x female reader #knj x reader #Namjoon fic #Namjoon fluff #Namjoon Romance #BTS winter fic

[bluekittyworld]

Still with YOU.

Hi! I have had this idea for a while, I am just trying to put into words for this fanfic.

Pairing: Devil Jimin x Human (f) Reader

Warning: 18+ (some chapters include smut and death)

Genre: Angst, Yandere, Smut (Fluff if you squint your eyes)

Please any feedback will be appreciated! Your words and likes motivate me to write more :)

Also please don't copy, or post/translate my work on other platforms, thank you.

Happy reading, and PLEASE give me feedback, tysm <3

Approx. 6 chapters, 14k words

Summary: Growing up, you didn't embrace religion as fervently as your grandmother did, but her deep faith often led her to take you to Sunday prayers. The Church is where you met a Priest named Jimin, you couldn't shake the strange attraction you felt towards him, a magnetic pull that seemed to defy reason.

Jimin takes you through each sin, corrupting your soul, in the end do you ultimately end up in hell?

Masterlist

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6 [End]

At the tender age of four, you had an imaginary friend like many other children do. He was a comforting presence, older and wiser, and you cherished the time spent playing together in the backyard treehouse that had stood for years before your family moved in.

But as you grew older, the visits to the treehouse became less frequent, overshadowed by the weight of tragedy and loss. The untimely passing of your parents in a tragic car accident cast a pall over your once vibrant world, stealing away the joy and innocence you once knew.

In the wake of such devastating loss, even the simple pleasures of childhood seemed to lose their lustre, leaving you adrift in a sea of grief and sorrow. The treehouse, once a sanctuary of imagination and play, stood silent and forgotten, a poignant reminder of happier times now lost to the past.

You moved into a cottage where your grandmother lived after the incident, you were just 9 years old. The cottage was situated in a small village just a couple of minutes away from the church.

Growing up, you didn't embrace religion as fervently as your grandmother did, but her deep faith often led her to take you to Sunday prayers. Despite not having many friends your age in the countryside, where mostly retired individuals resided, you found solace in the companionship of your grandmother's friends.

Over the years, you formed close bonds with them, cherishing the warmth and love they showered upon you. Their affection filled a void in your life, offering a sense of belonging and acceptance that you had yearned for. Yet, amidst the love and care they provided, you couldn't shake the lingering feeling of longing, a desire for deeper connections and a sense of purpose that seemed to elude you, maybe because your parents left you so early?

As adulthood beckoned, you made the conscious choice to pursue your studies through online lectures, opting to remain close to your grandmother rather than venture onto a distant campus. Some might have labelled you as immature for your decision, but you knew that your grandmother was your only family, and her time with you was precious and limited.

The thought of leaving her side, even for the pursuit of higher education, filled you with a sense of dread and guilt. You couldn't bear the idea of being apart from her, especially knowing that her time on this earth was drawing to a close. In your heart, you knew that being by her side during her final days was the most important thing, and you were willing to sacrifice other opportunities to ensure that she was not alone.

As your grandmother's health declined, it became increasingly difficult for her to visit the church on her own. Recognizing the importance of her faith in her life, you took it upon yourself to accompany her to Sunday prayers each week.

With the arrival of a new young priest at the church, you couldn't help but notice a sudden surge in the number of elderly ladies attending the services. It amused you how the presence of a handsome man seemed to reignite their religious fervour.

Shaking your head in amusement, you guided your grandmother to her favourite spot in the front row, ensuring she was comfortable before taking a seat beside her. Despite the comical circumstances, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the community of faith that had become a source of comfort and solace for your grandmother.

“I am Jimin, and I will be reading the passage from the Bible today” the young priest introduced himself and a sense of familiarity washed over you. His smile, warm and genuine, seemed to pierce through the crowd, locking onto your gaze with an intensity that made you slightly uncomfortable.

Despite your unease, there was something about him that tugged at the edges of your memory, a nagging sense of recognition that you couldn't quite place. How could you feel like you knew him when you had never met him before?

As Jimin began to read from the Bible, his voice resonating through the hallowed space of the church, you couldn't shake the feeling of being drawn to him, as if there were some invisible thread connecting the two of you across time and space. It was a mystery that lingered in the recesses of your mind, waiting to be unravelled.

Lost in a trance-like state, you found yourself more captivated by Jimin's physical presence than the words he spoke. His flawless, almost golden complexion seemed to glow in the soft light of the church, accentuated by the pitch-black cascade of hair that framed his strikingly dark eyes.

Your gaze lingered on his plush, pink lips as they moved in rhythm with the words of the passage, each syllable rolling off his tongue with a mesmerizing cadence. The sight of his Adam's apple bobbing with each word only added to the allure, drawing your attention like a moth to a flame.

It was as if time had slowed to a crawl, the world around you fading into insignificance as you became lost in the ethereal beauty of this enigmatic man before you. In that moment, nothing else mattered except the intoxicating pull of his presence, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume all reason and restraint.

Feeling the weight of Jimin's gaze upon you, you were jolted out of your reverie by the sound of his throat clearing. Heat flooded your cheeks as embarrassment washed over you, realizing that he had caught you staring.

Quickly averting your gaze, you focused intently on your hands, your fingers fidgeting nervously as you tried to regain your composure. Determined not to get caught in his gaze again, you kept your eyes firmly fixed on your lap, refusing to let yourself be distracted by the captivating presence of the young priest.

As Jimin continued to read from the Bible, the words washing over you in a blur, you silently resolved to maintain your focus and avoid any further embarrassment. After all, you couldn't afford to let yourself get caught in his spell again, no matter how tempting it may be.

As Jimin made his rounds, handing out toffees to each granny with a considerate and sweet demeanour, you couldn't help but admire his thoughtfulness. It was clear that he knew how to brighten their day with such simple gestures of kindness.

When he finally reached you, his touch lingered a moment longer than necessary as he held onto your hand. Startled, you looked up to meet his gaze, only to find him squeezing your hand with a playful smirk playing on his lips. Confusion swept over you like a tidal wave, leaving you to wonder if perhaps there was more to his actions than met the eye. It certainly didn't feel like your imagination running wild.

Lying in bed that night, thoughts of Jimin lingered in your mind, his actions replaying over and over again like a broken record. Despite your best efforts to push them aside, you couldn't shake the strange attraction you felt towards him, a magnetic pull that seemed to defy reason.

You scolded yourself for harbouring such feelings towards a man of the cloth, reminding yourself of Jimin's role as a priest—a figure of reverence and devotion, not someone to be viewed through the lens of attraction.

Yet, try as you might to suppress those forbidden thoughts, they continued to bubble up to the surface, refusing to be ignored. In the quiet solitude of your room, you found yourself grappling with conflicting emotions, torn between the dictates of reason and the undeniable allure of desire. It was a battle you knew you couldn't afford to lose, but one that seemed to grow more challenging with each passing moment.

The following morning you woke up just past the afternoon, you felt a little lazy today oddly, normally you were always energetic and an early bird.

You heard your grandmother talking to someone, a male to be specific. Confused by the unfamiliar voice, you decided to investigate, not particularly concerned about your appearance. After all, your pyjamas were decent enough, and you quickly tied your hair into a messy bun before heading out of your room to see who it was.

Jimin was sat there having tea with your grandmother, you never regretted a decision so much before, you wished you had put a bit more effort into your appearance.

“Good afternoon _____” Jimin smiled and showed his pearly whites.

Did he really have to acknowledge your presence you thought.

Feeling too embarrassed to say anything, you meekly smiled back.

Jimin nodded “Your grandmother makes lovely tea, come join us.”

He patted the seat next to him, as soon as you were about to make an excuse…

“Yes, dear sit down, I brought your cup already” you grandmother said.

Jimin patted the seat next to him again, you awkwardly sat down, you felt a bit too warm being so close to him.

As the conversation ebbed and flowed around you, you found yourself lost in thought, quietly sipping on your tea as your mind wandered once more to Jimin. Despite the reverent atmosphere of the room and the presence of the holy man beside you, your thoughts strayed to decidedly less holy territory.

In your peripheral vision, you caught glimpses of Jimin, sitting beside the esteemed figure with an air of casual confidence that only seemed to enhance his allure. Despite your best efforts to remain focused on the conversation at hand, your mind couldn't help but drift to the image of him, a tantalizing presence that stirred something primal within you.

As you sipped on your tea, the warmth of the liquid failing to dispel the heat that suffused your cheeks, you couldn't help but entertain the not-so-holy thoughts that danced through your mind, fuelled by the magnetic pull of Jimin's presence

You finished your cup of tea, setting it down with a delicate clink. Summoning up the courage, you stole a quick glance at Jimin, only to find him already looking at you, that infuriating smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

For a moment, you entertained the idea of smacking that smirk right off his face. But then you realized, with a sinking feeling, that he seemed to have a knack for reading your thoughts. Or at least, you hoped not.

Finally you excused yourself, and went back to your room. At last you felt a bit cooler and those unholy thoughts calmed down a little.

Later that evening your grandmother said that she promised Father Park that you would help him with church duties. Who even was he? You thought to yourself.

“Who is Father Park?” you asked.

“Jimin, his full name is Park Jimin” your grandmother replied with a smile.

“Park Jimin” you whispered; even his name was as beautiful as him.

Then it suddenly hit you that your grandmother volunteered you to help him out, you felt so uneasy around him because of your own mind.

“Do I really have to help him?” you pouted.

“______, sweetie, it’s good to help others and you needed some sort of volunteering for your scholarship application, this is a great opportunity for that too” she replied.

She did have a point, so you just thought to give it a go for now, you could always quit later, right?

As Friday dawned, anticipation hummed in the air, a tangible excitement flowing through your veins as you made your way towards the church. With each step, you rehearsed the words in your mind, preparing to greet Jimin—Father Park—with the proper respect and deference befitting his position.

"Hi, Father Park," you whispered to yourself, the words rolling off your tongue in practiced cadence, each syllable infused with a sense of reverence and warmth.

As you neared the church, your heart quickened with anticipation, the echo of your rehearsed greeting ringing in your ears like a silent mantra. And as you stepped through the threshold, ready to embark on another day of volunteering alongside Jimin, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building within you, eager to see what the evening would bring in the presence of the enigmatic Father Park.

He was expecting you and was waiting just by the door.

As you approached the church, you couldn't contain your excitement and blurted out, "Hi Jimin!" Instantly, you mentally scolded yourself for not sticking to your rehearsed greeting.

Jimin's smirk only deepened, teasing you with his playful demeanour. "Hi _____," he replied, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Someone seems excited. Come to the back; we have a lot of scrolls to arrange by dates." His smile was infectious, melting away your annoyance and replacing it with a warmth that spread through your chest. With a flutter of anticipation, you followed him eagerly, eager to spend the day by his side once more.

As Jimin guided you through the corridors of the church, a familiar warmth enveloped you once more, causing a light sheen of perspiration to form along your hairline. Despite the coolness of the surroundings, the intensity of his presence seemed to ignite a fire within you, sending waves of heat rippling through your body.

When you reached the small room, well it wasn’t exactly small, but the large boxes placed around left little room to manoeuvre. As you surveyed the cluttered space, Jimin's sudden touch on your arms sent a jolt of surprise coursing through you, causing you to freeze in place.

“Umm… what are you-” you said.

“You look like you’re feeling really warm so I thought you might want to take off your jacket” he cut you off, was his voice always this attractive?

You took a step away from him, and took off your jacket, he held his hand out indicating you to give it to him, he hung it neatly on the hook behind the door.

As Jimin explained the task at hand, gesturing towards the box of scrolls with an air of casual confidence, your attention wavered, drawn inexorably to the sight of his hands—those elegant, mesmerising hands that seemed to possess a grace all their own. Despite your best efforts to focus on his words, your gaze remained fixated on the subtle movements of his fingers as they gestured and emphasized various points.

Nodding absentmindedly in response to his instructions, you found yourself lost in a haze of fascination, utterly captivated by the sight before you. Surely, arranging scrolls by date order couldn't be so difficult, not when Jimin's hands were there to guide you, effortlessly navigating through the task with a skill that bordered on the sublime.

You were now arranging the scrolls. The cool, aged parchment felt delicate beneath your fingertips as you carefully laid them out on the expansive wooden table before you.

The musty scent of history lingered in the air, mingling with the faint fragrance of incense, creating an atmosphere of reverence and tranquillity as you worked, you arranged them in a meticulous order.

“_____” Jimin spoke.

“Mhm?” you replied, trying to concentrate on the scrolls and not him.

“How was your childhood?” he asked.

What a random thing to ask you thought.

“It was okay, my parents passed away when I was nine years old” you replied.

“I’m sorry to hear that, but before that when you were younger, did you have many friends? Imaginary friends like some people say, even though they might be real.” He said mindlessly.

You stopped arranging the scrolls and looked at him, that is such an oddly specific question.

He chuckled, “Sorry you don’t have to answer it.”

“I did have 2 friends, and I think I had an imaginary friend too, I don’t really remember much, my memories are all mixed up from the trauma of losing my parents.” You replied a little emotionally. Jimin looked into your eyes, his gaze softened a bit, he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and patted your head… what was that for, it’s not like you’re five, you’re a grown woman, you thought.

As you returned home after your volunteering session, a sense of contentment washed over you. Surprisingly, the experience hadn't been as bad as you had initially feared; in fact, you found yourself considering the possibility of returning again. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you reflected on the past two hours, realising that you had actually enjoyed spending time at the church, particularly in Jimin's company.

Throughout the week, you found yourself eagerly anticipating your next encounter with him. There was something about him that made you feel at ease, something that drew you to him like a moth to a flame. You found solace in sharing your stories with him, comforted by his attentive ear and understanding demeanour.

Unbeknownst to you, however, your growing affection for Jimin was leading you deeper into his web of deceit. Little did you realize the true nature of his intentions, or the dangerous game he was playing. As the days passed and your feelings for him intensified, you remained oblivious to the lurking shadows that threatened to consume you whole.

Chapter 2

Masterlist

A/N: how was it? :) the next chapter will contain smut, only read if you're 18+

#jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jimin x oc #park jimin #superntural #jimin fanfic #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin smut #bts jimin #bts #rm #jin #suga #jhope #taehyung #jungkook #jimin yandere #yandere #jimin devil #bluekittyworld

[muniimyg]

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST // KNJ

you’re still so pretty

+

strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and then.. strangers again?

navi | m. list | ask me! |

pairing:

med student nam joon + med student oc

au/genre: 

high school sweethearts to exes to ???

fluff !! slight angst

note: cute little one shot in my drafts… idrk whats going on but it’s giving meet cute vibes!!! enj!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar

One thing people never talk about is the loneliness that comes hand-in-hand with being ambitious. 

You lose friends, opportunities, and even love. 

Feeling the need to prove the world and others wrong—getting so lost in your strength that you’ve become weak—it’s not a life everyone can live. The exchange of your success came at the cost of having your loved ones as collateral damage. 

Kim Nam Joon was exactly that for you. 

Though you two didn’t end on a sour note, the memories and possibilities of you and him leaves a bittersweet taste in your tongue. Thinking of him, speaking of him, and missing him comes in waves. Yet, with each memory, you gladly drown. 

Others argue that you bloomed late while your parents like to defend you and say you’re too good to settle for anyone less. Your parents, however, kept their mouths shut whenever it came to Nam Joon. 

They liked him. 

He was practically accepted and assumed to be the one you marry… It’s silly, isn’t it? For parents to see stars in their daughter’s eyes at such a young age and understand why. 

From what you can remember, he was a quiet nerd who helped others but was also good at identifying when he was being used. There was a difference. He held your bookbag, dropped you off at class, and always sat with you and your friends at lunch. His friends would tease him about how whipped he was for you and your parents would often bicker about how young you two were to be that inseparable. 

So when it ended—because nothing at the age of 17 really lasts—he didn’t know if it was over or if it was truly over. Partly because you didn’t sound cold when you asked for space and the distance that grew between you two had given you both time to accept the inevitable. Still, when it happened it felt utterly confusing. For weeks, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d changed your mind before the summer ended and went on to your separate ways… In case you changed your mind—if a single ounce of you wanted to give the long-distance a fucking try—he had a plan. 

The plan.

Calls are to occur every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Calling every night might get tiring, but it’s okay if the calls increase due to missing each other. 

Good morning texts every day. 

Visiting each other should be done through turn-taking. He’ll go to you first. 

Fly home every big holiday. 

Shit like that. 

He wondered if you would change your mind before he[‘d have to force himself to get over you. Then, he wondered if you would even think about changing your mind at all. Until suddenly, he realizes that you never even asked.

You probably never even thought about him. 

You two broke up the summer before University. You both told everyone that your dream schools were at opposite ends of the world. Knowing you both could make it; it was hard for others to disagree. However, Nam Joon began to feel a bit of resentment as the breakup became more and more real. Deciding that long-distance would complicate your study and work schedules was a practical decision—but it was not his. 

It was yours. 

He’s almost certain that the decision was made out of 80% of logic, 5% out of love, and 15% out of insecurity.

You’ve never failed anything in your life. Perhaps, love is no exception. 

As the seasons changed, time flew and the breakup felt like a summernight dream. It slowly became a topic that only popped up once in a while, and when it did, you spoke of it like how it felt. It felt kind and sweet. Like the aftertaste of strawberry milk candies and craving for more, like the way you finish a good book where the characters don’t die and nothing feels tragic, but a part of you wishes you hadn’t reached the end. That, if you could, you would reread the pages as if you never knew a thing. You spoke of your puppy love like how love felt; love felt like him. 

The peace you’ve made with your feelings for him suddenly begins to panic as a familiar tall and dimple smile greets you. Cheesy to say, but too difficult to deny—all the memories of him begin to flood your mind as he approaches. 

With his heart on his sleeve, he stands before you. 

“Long time no see, ___.” 

His smile is the same. 

The way his lips curve perfectly reminds you of how they felt against your neck. He had that habit—smiling into a kiss that is. His hair is shaved, earning a good laugh from you. You’ve never seen him so… Manly?

“Kim Nam Joon,” you gush. “Wow, it’s been a while.”

Offering your hand, he stares at it and chuckles. His shoulders are much broader now, so his body language is much more noticeable. It suits him. 

“Too formal, ___.” Nam Joon laughs, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips. Gently, he places a kiss on your knuckles and squeezes them. To others, this may be forward… To you, it’s just right. He always greeted you like this. A part of your heart is relieved he hasn’t changed that much. “But, yeah... It has been a while. 6 years to be exact!”

“You kept count?” Your eyebrows knit together, teasingly. He gives you a playful irritated look, causing your heart to melt a little. 

“You know what I mean… I just—I didn’t know you were back in Korea. You don’t use social media so it’s a little hard to hear anything about you.” 

To his dismay, it was difficult to get any news from you. Nam Joon would be lying if he said he hadn’t been asking around about you or if he hadn’t stayed up once in a while attempting to find your name on social media. Your closest friends moved on with their lives and careers; no one had time to reminisce on old high school sweethearts. 

Except him. 

“I finished my degree and then came back here for this med program. That was my plan, remember? It was always the plan. Nothing has changed,” you confess. “I thought you’d be way further into med school than me. You always talked about getting it done as fast as possible.”

He shrugs. “I took a gap… For like, 2 years and then failed 1 course… Twice.”

In complete shock, you gasp. “Kim Nam Joon… Failed? Twice at that?”

“It was a tough class! I fucking hate Psychology. Why do we even need it in pre-med? Like—”

You burst into tears. Tears of joy. Laughter, really. 

“Y-you failed… P-psych? The easiest fucking course in the universe?”

Nam Joon shoots you a glare. 

“My prof was crazy.”

“So are you for failing a fucking psych class!”

Nam Joon lets you have your moment. You continue to laugh, having a difficult time believing in his claim. As you continue to make fun, he makes himself comfortable, taking a seat next to you. 

“Are we done? Can we please move on?” Nam Joon groans in embarrassment. 

Composing yourself, you give in to his wish. “Some things never change, huh? You still make me laugh.”

His eyes soften. “You’re mean for using my failure as your source of joy.”

Then, you laugh again. You hit his shoulder, unable to contain your fun. Then, your eyes widen as your hand makes contact with his body.

Unhinged, you tell him, “Holy shit. You’re huge!”

Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he almost chokes on air. 

You turn red. 

“Y-you know what I mean!” You shove him playfully. It makes no difference. You barely moved him. 

Nam Joon then begins to empty his bag. Taking out his laptop, he explains himself. “Ahhh. I met a few friends who are absolute gym rats. If I’m not studying, I’m at the gym with them.”

Teasingly, you gasp again. “Ohhh? So I have no insane drinking party stories to hear from you?” 

Shaking his head with a smug smile, he answers you. “No.. There are definitely some insane drinking party stories for you to hear… Maybe after class? We could grab a cup of coffee and catch up.” He suggests. He isn’t sure what had gotten into him to be so rash, but he missed you. Seeing you again, his body automatically made its way to you.

You nod, feeling a little warm. “Sure! I’ve missed you.” 

 His heart skips a beat. 

He missed you too.

The coffee hangout goes well. 

You catch Nam Joon up with everything you’ve been up to. All the friends and people you’ve met abroad and how you finally learned how to ride a bike at the ripe age of twenty. He teases you for learning so late and you nag him about getting his driver’s license. To which, he said he acquired… Just a month ago. 

At that moment, he feels like nothing has changed even though so much has. 

You were braver. 

A lot more confident with your words and posture and Nam Joon was calmer and oddly a little funnier than you remember. Maybe you missed his quirky jokes and random “fun facts.” Whatever it was, it caused you to exchange numbers and constantly be texting back and forth. 

Suddenly, two months go by, and he’s back to being your best friend. 

You feel like you’re 17 again. Your days with him are filled with late-night study dates and bike rides around his favorite spots on campus. Honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. For the first time in a while, you finally felt like you were home.

Finally, he had persuaded you to join him and his friends at the gym. Your AirPods are in and you’re running on the treadmill as Jungkook, Seokjin, and Nam Joon crowd around the weights. Nam Joon is spotting Jungkook. As he lifts the heavyweights, Jungkook strikes the conversation first. 

“Are you two getting back together?” 

“What?”

“You and ___,” Jungkook grunts as he finishes his rep. “Everyone is assuming so and I want to be the first one with confirmation... Makes me feel special.”

Nam Joon rolls his eyes and turns to check on you. With longing eyes, he assures his friends: “we’re just friends.”

Seokjin pokes his head in and laughs. “Shut up. Being funny is my thing.”

“Seriously!” Nam Joon urges. “Sure, we talk about the past and all but.. Not about us—nothing about us. And.. And I don’t think she wants to? It’s weird…  And it’s okay. I rather it is like this than to make things awkward and not have her around anymore.” 

Jungkook drops the weights and sighs. 

“Ahh! Exactly my point!” 

He and Seokjin share a look and bump shoulders with Nam Joon. They’re completely aware of how their friend was looking at the girl he had loved once and can’t help but feel like something about this situation felt unfinished. 

“This is fate, you know?” Jungkook insists. “You two were in love and then it wasn’t the right time so you guys broke up. You guys were young back then… It was practical. But, she’s back and you still love her. It’s the right time. Now, this is the part where you try again.”  

Nam Joon can’t help but feel like an idiot.

“Fuck off, Kook,” Nam Joon orders. “It’s over. I’m lucky to even just be her friend again. Besides, she probably has a boyfriend.”

Seokjin squints at Nam Joon in disbelief. “... Well, have you even asked her if she’s seeing someone?”

All three boys look dumbfounded. 

No one knows what to say. 

Would it be weird to ask such a thing? Of course, Nam Joon was curious, but a part of him kind of figured that talking about your current relationship status wouldn’t be the best icebreaker for you two.

“Look man, it doesn’t matter. You’re her ex. Her first boyfriend ever! You have rights.” Jungkook encourages. He picks up his water bottle and begins to chug. 

Seokjin hits Jungkook’s stomach mid-gulp. “Rights? Kook, I think that’s for people who have kids and are having difficulty co-parenting—”

“He has rights!” Jungkook defends sternly. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he pats Nam Joon on the back. “Just ask her if she’s seeing someone… If not, ask her out. Try again.”

“What makes you think I want to try again?” Nam Joon scuffs and his two friends roll their eyes. 

Jungkook and Seokjin share a look. 

“You have been missing her your entire life. She’s back. A few giggles here and there and you ditch us for two months straight… Only to reach out and invite her to our gym to work out with us! No shade, but this is bro time!” Jungkook cries. “Also, you talk about it all the time when you’re 7 shots in. You haven’t had a girlfriend… Since her, right? Just hook-ups and a few flings… But no one is like her and that’s probably why.” Then, Jungkook hits Nam Joon’s head and sighs. 

“No one is her.”

The three turn their attention to you. Two guys approach you and begin a conversation. Nam Joon observes and it causes Jungkook and Seokjin to chuckle. 

“Time is ticking my friend. Tik tok, tik tok…” Jungkook makes an effort to let out a devious laugh. Nam Joon’s eyes begin to glow green and it satisfies his two friends. “Nice guys finish last… Ex boyfriends finish first!”

Jungkook leans towards Seokjin and whispers: “Looks like someone will be pulling ex-boyfriend card soon.” 

With that, Seokjin and Jungkook switch. Seokjin lifts the weights and Jungkook helps to spot him. Nam Joon should look away, but he can’t. His eyes are glued to the way you’re laughing at the two boys who are trying too hard to impress you. 

Mid lift, Seokjin teases Jungkook. 

“You used the term “bro time,” right? You’re such a fucking loser, Kook.”

Nam Joon felt different though. 

He felt like the fucking loser.

Nam Joon doesn’t call or text you as often as he did before. 

Since that gym session, he had begun to act a little distant. Like he was trying to set boundaries or something. It felt odd that his actions felt familiar. You felt a little ache in your heart and your head hurt. 

The past few weeks have not been easy for Nam Joon as well. He felt like an absolute dick for ignoring your warmth. He tried to excuse it by saying that he was too busy with his assignments and studying. So badly does he want to pull away from you; but it felt draining. He wanted to be near you and the fear of you not wanting him back was definitely taking a toll on him. 

It was confusing though. 

In the middle of the night, he’d come over once to give back your textbooks in exchange for a few of his hoodies. It didn’t feel real seeing him at midnight. Some nights, he’d come over a little damp from the midnight rain. As you let him into your place, all you can think to yourself is: damn. I think I’m still in love with this man. 

So, yes. 

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. With each passing day, his presence made you nervous. If his coming over at midnight wasn’t bad enough—it was the 9am’s with him that was worse. It was more about how close you two sat next to each other and how intimate these labs were. With each little moment of fingertips brushing, bumping into each other and him steadying you with his hands on your waist, and the little nose scrunch exchanges—the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy.

Fine.

Maybe you did fail once in your life.

You failed to be honest. You failed to fight for him. You failed to be someone to him that stays.

Nam Joon wasn’t having much fun either. 

You’ve always been so pretty to him. He especially loved whenever you two had study dates because he could watch you furrow your eyebrows, reread the same sentences, and mumble formulas and concepts to yourself over and over again. If he was lucky, he’d look up at the right time and catch you sighing from frustration. Your puffy cheeks and sleepy eyes made his heart soft and confused. To him, it was enchanting to see you so invested. 

Kind of like right now. 

As you look into the microscope, he can’t help but feel nervous. He wants to reach out and move your hair to the side. It’s bothering you and he can tell. He wants to do it, but he hesitates. 

It would be too much, right? He would be crossing the line—especially since you’re the one that broke things off with him.

His thoughts pause as you pull away and blink at him. 

“Oh, shit! I have an interview at a clinic nearby so I can’t stay to help clean up after this. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you before we began—“

“___, it’s okay. Go do your thing. I hope you get it.”

Warmly, you smile at him. 

“Thanks, baby—Nam Joon,” you correct yourself, throwing your head back and laughing nervously. In exchange, he stares at you blankly. You clear your throat, trying your best to move past this. “Sorry! For a second, I thought you were my boyfriend again.”

He brushes it off and tells you it’s okay. Again, you go back to looking into the microscope. Focusing on adjusting the lens and pulling away every so often to make notes. 

“Me too,” he says softly. 

Then, you feel it.

He tucks your hair behind your ears. You pretend like his touch didn’t send electric shocks throughout your body and ignore it. Your cheeks instantly flush a rosy pink and spill your secret. 

Nam Joon chuckles, completely in awe of you.

You’re still so pretty to him.

You’re still his.

#bts fic #bts fic rec #bts one shot #nam joon x yn #bts rm #bts rm fic #nam joon x reader #nam joon x oc #bts x oc #nam joon med au #bts med au #nam joon fluff #nam joon imagine #nam joon scenario #namjoon e2l #bts e2l