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aesethewitch · 6 months

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Personal Protection: Surviving the Holidays

I'm of the opinion that far too many people around this time of year are fucking around, and it's high time they get to the finding out part. With major holidays right around the corner, many of us will be facing relatives we'd rather not see, parties we'd rather not go to, and conversations we'd rather avoid or exit as soon as possible. Political spats, unwanted opinions, snide remarks -- I believe that what you give out, you ought to receive back.

So, obviously, let's do some magic about it.

There are three main components to my method:

The Bubble;

The Quills; and

The Shake

The Bubble

Exactly what it sounds like, "the bubble" is the outermost layer of protection around you. It's the barrier between you and the unpleasantness you're trying to keep out.

The bubble can be one item carried or worn (such as a hat, crystal, or charm), or it can be multiple. I usually spring for two items, one to absorb/recycle and one to bounce/return to sender.

Absorb:

I've got a relative who is, at their essence, a fucking downer. That would be fine if not for the fact that if they're having a bad time or are mildly uncomfortable, it's about to be everyone's problem. This kind of negativity is something to absorb, not bounce. Sending it back would only double their misery, and that's no good for anyone.

So, instead, I have a special charm that I make for occasions when I know they're going to be around. It consists of a little piece of sponge that's sat in salt for a while atop a transformative sigil. The sponge, once fully charged and ready, will absorb the negative energy and recycle it into more positive feelings.

This means that their negativity won't impact me at all, and I actively improve the atmosphere. Their bad attitude can't do anything if everyone around us is only getting good vibes. The charm is powered by the exchange of negative to positive energy, so it requires no charging. However, it's smart to discard the sponge once it's done its job.

Bounce:

But sometimes, somebody's got to face real consequences. There are some things I don't want to deal with at all. Like gross political opinions from my conservative, religious family members. Or questions about having children.

The idea of the bounce is to reflect things before they reach me. It's a sort of glamor spell that projects an aura of "don't bother." It essentially lets me be passed over for conversations I want to leave or avoid entirely by bouncing attention away from me.

Negative energy, bad vibes, whatever you want to call it -- the goal is to return it to where it's coming from. Someone who's being an asshole will feel like an asshole. If it works right, they'll stop talking altogether because they're so irritated with what they're saying. I've had aggressive, vocal relatives go completely silent because they were receiving their own rancid energy back to themselves instead of the attention they were hoping for.

For me, this spell takes the form of a charm on my keys. It's a form of an evil eye charm -- not the blue-eyed stare you most likely think of, but another symbol meant to distract attention from me to it. It's a little pewter casting of the fig sign, an old and obscene gesture. It works on malevolent spirits best, but it does a great job of repelling unfortunate people, too. It bounces their nonsense back to themselves, often causing confusion, which forces them to reconsider what they're saying.

Again, this lives on my keys, which live in a key bowl when they're not clipped to my pocket or belt loop. The key bowl has a multi-purpose charging setup for the keys, my wallet, and other assorted charms I might wear when I go out.

The Quills

Sometimes, things get past our main line of defenses. That's fine, it happens. But under these circumstances, it happens because someone has deliberately crossed a line. So now, they get the quills.

When I say "the quills," you should be picturing something like a porcupine. Adorable, yes, but fuck with it at your own risk. Those quills aren't just for show, and neither should yours be. This is your second line of defense, and it's where we turn to offense.

Accordingly, the quills aren't passive spells like the bubble. These require conscious activation and direction to give you maximum control over their output. You can make your quills passive, but I often find that baneful workings work best when you're specifically choosing to use them.

Yes, baneful, and let me be perfectly clear: The goal is to harm whoever's crossed the line. You're not just returning to sender. You're catching what they've thrown at you, lighting it on fire, and pitching it back at full force.

To that end, there are two approaches I typically take (and are you sensing a pattern? I like to do things in twos). One spell to sharpen the tongue and give as good as I've gotten, and one to induce the smallest of lingering curses on the target.

Sharpen

The whole point of the quills is to make yourself an inconvenient, difficult target. Part of being difficult to swallow is not going down easily. Often, the answer is to avoid the conversation or problem altogether, but it isn't always possible. Or satisfying.

Sometimes, you gotta take a bitch down.

For me, this charm needs to do two things. It should boost my confidence in standing my ground and add some oomph to my argument. I have a pin with a particular design on it charmed for this purpose. The needle operates as the quill for stabbing (the oomph), and the design provides the confidence. Anointed with my Fuck Off Oil and laid in a dish of salt, garlic, and red chili flakes, the pin becomes extra spicy and effective.

This one has to be recharged each time it's used. It always lives on the same jacket, but I'll anoint it regularly to keep it fresh. If I use the charm on someone, I'll take the pin off at the end of the night and set it in the spicy salt mixture.

Linger

By far one of the most effective methods for reducing nonsense from unpleasant people I interact with regularly is lingering consequences. When someone associates bad luck with interacting with you, even on a subconscious level, they tend to avoid you.

Consider this the "slow poison" on the quills. The goal isn't to ruin their life by any means (although, I suppose you could...). It's just to make yourself unpalatable on an instinctive level. Think of how poisonous frogs are brightly colored to display that they're, you know, deadly. That's what we're doing here.

I prefer to use something kind of dangerous. Something you can hold onto and point with is best, in my experience. I've used a broken piece of glass, a rusty nail or screw, and various thorns. Right now, I'm using one half of a rusty pair of old cooking shears. The handle broke, but the blades are still sharp as hell. Waste not, and all that.

Anoint whatever the sharp, dangerous thing is in an oil infused with herbs and spices of your choice (again, the Fuck Off Oil is a good example). Or, if you prefer, coat it in something like hot sauce, urine, rust, or other corrosive and unpleasant things. Once prepared, stow it in your bag. Or your glove box, if you drive, since this makes a nice on-the-go curse to cast at shitty drivers.

You don't need to pull it out for it to work, but if you can get to a safe, secluded space (like a bathroom), it can help you focus. When you're creating it, you should set up an activation word, phrase, or motion. I prefer a motion -- something like tapping wherever the object is, a swirling movement with my hand, and then pointing at the target.

The curse you place is up to you. I tend to go for something like feeling nauseous or getting a headache. The spell should draw a connection between them being nasty to you and the unpleasant feeling, whether overt or subconscious. They'll be more cautious and reluctant to be a dick to you afterwards.

The Shake

Like a dog. Get that shit off of yourself.

No matter how thorough you are, there are always gaps and particularly stubborn people getting into them. Something they say just sticks to you like a burr, sharp and irritating. Or depressing, maybe.

The idea behind the shake is literal. You're forcibly removing the heavy weight or annoying itch someone else has placed on you. The shake isn't necessarily an item like with the bubble and quills. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Essentially, the steps to the shake are:

Identify what feels bad

Shake that shit

Resume normal activities

Maybe it's the neurodivergent in me, but physical movement is incredibly soothing. Self-regulation tactics are essential for survival. Transforming that into a little spell ritual at the same time is just two birds with one stone.

When things get overwhelming or I can feel my bubble failing to keep everything out at once (such as if a fight breaks out or someone decides to go in depth about one of my triggers), I remove myself from the situation. That's the first step. Retreat to a safe place, whether that's outside, in my car, in the bathroom, or elsewhere that's quiet. The second step is to figure out where in my body the anxiety or bad feeling is sitting. Often, it's in my shoulders and hands, but sometimes it's elsewhere.

Step three is to fucking shake. Shake those hands, roll my shoulders, jump up and down. Whatever it takes. As I do, I'm forcibly dislodging everything unpleasant out of myself and into the open air. And because I've got the negativity-absorbing bubble, it'll take the bad feeling and repurpose it into something more positive. Then, once I'm better, I can go back.

Again, you don't need an object for this, but you can certainly create one. Options would be comforting items, fidget toys, or even something like a joint. Sometimes, you just gotta blow smoke about it. You know?

Fun fact, though: You could also carry a vessel to contain the Bad Feelings for later use instead of letting your bubble absorb them. This comes in handy for people who are particularly abusive... as an example of what you want them to experience under the force of a more involved cursing.

If you like my work, consider throwing a tip my way! Supporters get early, exclusive, and extended access to my work for as low as $1.

#aese speaks #witchcraft #witchblr #practical magic #practical witchcraft #personal protection #protection magic #return to sender #energy cleansing #witchcraft 101 #witchy tips #beginner witch #spells #spell ideas

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marlynnofmany · 7 months

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Seeing Faces

It’s rare when we get a shipment to deliver that’s not packaged somehow — either in Earth-standard boxes, another world’s version of shipping crates, or a livestock pen of some kind. Even that bunch of alien trees had been thoroughly wrapped at the bottom. But this collection of machinery parts didn’t have so much as a layer of cling-wrap on it. I guess the owners figured these things were sturdy enough not to need it.

They were probably right. The metal chunks were heavy. I tried to guess what they were made for as Blip and Blop muscled the biggest ones onto a hover sled, clearing the way for Paint and me to gather up the smaller pieces. Captain Sunlight bid the customer farewell and shut the cargo bay door.

“I think these look like vertebrae,” I said to Paint. “Greasy vertebra. Ew. I’m going to need a new shirt.” The offworld engine oil of whatever didn’t seem acidic at least, so that was nice. I sighed about the black smears.

“Strange vertebrae,” Paint said, juggling her own armload of odd shapes that didn’t seem to be rubbing off on her orange scales. Not that I was jealous or anything. “There would need to be a dual spinal cord.” She tapped a claw on one of the holes.

“Hm, yeah. There are probably animals like that,” I said. “Or robots, as the case may be.”

Ahead of us, Captain Sunlight opened the door to the appropriate storage hold, then headed off on captainly business. It was impressive how different a vibe she gave off compared to Paint, for all their physical similarities. Both were little lizardy people, but one strode with her lemon-yellow head held high, every inch the authority figure, while the other was Paint. She somehow bounced when she walked, even when weighted down by unwieldy metal things.

“I’ll bet these stack really well,” Paint said. “They look like they interlock. We could probably build a spinal column without them falling over.”

“We probably could,” I agreed. “But I don’t want to be the one responsible for bending one of the flanges because we wanted to test it out.”

“Hm. Yep yep yep. But I maintain that we could.”

“We could.”

The two of us entered the storage hold to find Blip and Blop racing to see who could unload the sled faster. It’s not that the Frillian twins were overly competitive, but they were twins. They’d apparently hatched at the same time, and had been in a low-key competition to see who was better at life ever since. But they smiled while they did it.

“Done!” Blip declared, setting down a lump of metal big enough for Paint to hide behind. She raised her hands in triumph, fins fluttering.

“Doesn’t count,” Blop said as he put down his own piece. “You didn’t line them up right. Mine are tidier.”

They squabbled about this while Paint and I unloaded our metal chunks nearby. I had to kneel to keep from dropping the things. It would be just my luck if they did warp on impact, or bounce off each other and whack me in the shin.

The Frillians took their debate out the door before I finished. They’d already moved on to who could steer the hoversled with the minimum of touching.

“Ha,” Paint said. “They do stack.”

I turned to see only one of the things set on top of another, with Paint ready to catch it if it slid. She took it down before I could say anything.

I just nodded and arranged my own into a reasonable huddle, then wiped my hands on my shirt. It was only when I moved toward the door, with a look back at the big pieces, that I got a good look at the one that Blop had set on its side.

This was the logical place to put it, not sticking out past the rest, but the thing that caught my attention was the shape when seen from this angle. Those two holes could have been eyes, and the flanges were shaped like stubby arms. There were even a couple slots in the middle like nostrils.

I burst out laughing.

“What?” Paint demanded.

“It looks like Zhee!” I said, pointing. “Big bug eyes and everything!”

“What does?” Paint asked. She came to stand next to me, following my arm, but just looked confused. “Where are the eyes?”

“These!” I said, stepping closer and pointing at the holes. “And those are the arms. Isn’t it perfect?”

Paint cocked her head as if slightly tilted vision could unlock the answers. “Arms?”

I repeated myself, but she still looked lost, so I found a notepad and pencil in a storage cupboard —reliable even when the batteries all run out — and sketched what I saw.

“Ohh, I get what you mean now,” Paint said when I showed her. “Those parts are lifted like pincher arms, and those are roughly the same proportion as Mesmer eyes.”

“Yeah, it’s uncanny,” I said.

Paint took the notepad to study it closer. “How did you even notice that?”

“It was pretty easy,” I told her. “It just jumped out at me when I looked from the right direction. Like seeing faces in clouds, you know?”

Paint’s blank expression said that she didn’t know.

“Do you not do that? Find patterns of familiar shapes in random things?”

“No?” she replied. “Is that a thing I’m supposed to be doing?”

“You don’t have to! It’s just something that everybody does on Earth, ever since we’re kids. It’s probably from a long history of watching for camouflaged predators in the bushes. You’ve got camouflage on your planet, right? You must.”

“Yeah, sure,” Paint said easily. “But I guess not that much. I’ve never seen a face in a cloud; that sounds terrifying.”

“Not really; it’s more like feeling smart for spotting something. Well,” I amended. “It could be a little unsettling if you see a skull or something. But that’s rare. There are whole systems of divination about this sort of thing.”

Paint looked like she was about to ask a million questions, but right then the sound of familiar clicking footsteps tapped down the hall.

“Zhee!” Paint called, whirling with the notebook in her hand. “Zhee, look what Robin saw!”

Zhee came into view looking just as eyecatching and purple as usual, halting at the doorway while Paint eagerly explained the conversation we’d just had. Quickly and enthusiastically. With lots of waving the sketch around, and pointing back at the machine part.

I felt like apologizing as he stared with an unreadable alien expression. His antennae weren’t even moving; I couldn’t tell what he thought of it all.

Finally Paint finished talking. “She says it’s probably because her species watches for predators in the bushes. Isn’t that amazing?”

Zhee made a point of looking slowly from the sketch to the metal thing, then to me. I braced myself for judgement.

Instead, Zhee raised his pincher arms into the same pose and declared, “I am the danger that lurks in the bushes.” Then he slunk out of sight, many legs scuttling in a quickstep way that he knew darn well I found creepy.

Paint blinked at the empty doorway, still holding the notebook.

“Aw, man,” I said. “He’s picking things up from Trrili.”

Paint immediately closed the notebook. “We definitely shouldn’t show her.”

“Agreed!” I said.

After a moment of thought, Paint tore the page out and handed it to me, then took the notebook back to the cupboard. I pocketed it with a final glance at the metal vertebra that looked remarkably like a cartoonish Mesmer squaring up for battle.

Someone had left a roll of no-residue marking tape on a box nearby. I grabbed a strip and stuck it onto the metal, with the ends curved up.

Now the thing had a goofy grin that possibly no one would recognize. But if there were any humans on the receiving end of this delivery, they ought to get a good laugh out of it.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

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cherry-blossom-qf · 3 months

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BEHOLD!! THE AU I'VE BEEN COOKING UP FOR MONTHS!!

DIGIMOM CODENAME: DREAMLAND!

Basic Story Info: Susie is the daughter of Max Haltmann, the CEO and founder of his own computer company. (kinda like the original Susie lol)

But on her 18th birthday, a bunch of Digimon came through a portal and kidnapped her father and half the employees of the company. And it's up to Susie to save her father from whatever evil Digimon is behind all of this.

Accompanying her as her digital partners are the first two friendly Digimon she met in the Digital World. Marxamon and Magomon. Two sneaky little scam artists that Susie saved from an angry mob.

Once they heard her story, they both (eventually) agreed to help Susie find her father and protect her from the dangers of the Digital World, with Susie mysteriously gaining a Digivice in the form of a wrist watch as a symbol of their friendship.

Together, the three of them traveled all across the Digital World, fighting battles, solving mysteries, exploring new areas, you get the idea.

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Info on Susie: A young girl from the city of [insert place in Japan that isn't effing Tokyo]. She's a headstrong go-getter and intelligent gal, who's a major tech wizard, finding comfort in machinery and modeling. She has a weakness to cute fluffy things and sweet treats. She's a huge "papa's girl", as her loving father is the best dad (and only parent) a girl could ask for. Which makes finding him even more important to her.

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Info on Marxamon: A silly little jester bat digimon that shares DNA with the Demon Lord of Gluttony, Beelzemon, and a childhood friend of Magomon. With a "gives no shits" attitude and a craving for mischief, Marxamon is always up for a good prank or two. His special move "Spiraling Scream" has been known to leave even the strongest of champions feeling dizzy and temporarily deaf.

His Champion evolution, Jecksmon, is no different. Growing bigger wings, longer legs, and an even bigger taste for mischief than before! Having the ability to create mirrored copies of himself with his special move "Mirror Dance", and shoots blasts of chaotic energy from his mouth with his other move "Soul Cannon", he truly becomes chaos reincarnated!

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Info on Magomon: A little bell-shape feline magician that shares DNA with the Demon Lord of Greed, Barbamon, and a childhood friend of Marxamon. Although somewhat timid, his cunning and clever nature shows no bounds, treating almost anything like a performance he must perfect. Shrouding his secrets in veils of lies that he swears to never unravel, as it might bring unwanted attention, (aka: this bitch's got MEGA TRAUMA and is keeping it all a secret). His special move "Gemtastic Bombs" has him throwing multiple bombs made of different types of gems, usually Sapphire, Ruby, and Emerald.

His Champion evolution, Galormon, gives him a huge confidence boost and some card tricks up his (metaphorical) sleeves! With the ability to spin around, creating a tornado of cards and fire with his special move "All-In-Spin" and sucking in enemies into his hat with his other special move "Hatter Hole", his performance on the battlefield makes this fancy Digimon a sight to behold!

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The other evolutions are gonna be left a mystery for now, cuz I haven't drawn them yet, lol.

So yeah, I hope you like this new AU!! I worked my ass off to figure this stuff out, and I hope it was worth the wait!!! ^w^

#my art #APOLOGIES FOR ANY SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES IN THIS POST #Digimon Codename: DREAMLAND #'where tf is kirby in this kirby au?' I'LL GET TO IT EVENTUALLY!! JUST SIT TIGHT!!#digimon au #digimon digital monsters #kirby au #kirby susie #kirby marx #kirby magolor #kirby super star #kirby return to dreamland deluxe #kirby planet robobot

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tennessoui · 1 year

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au where obi-wan gets prophetic dreams of anakin’s fall but they’re the kenobi show montage dreams where nothing useful can be gleaned about how to stop it; so obi-wan decides he just needs to leave the order. anakin is only 12, he can be trained by another master. obi-wan didn’t even have a master when he was 12. anakin will be fine. stars, he’ll probably be better.

of course he’s not and of course obi-wan abandoning him pushes him closer to palpatine and he falls much sooner, becoming a baby sith that palpatine mostly farms out to dooku for training because anakin at 16, 17, 18 is a lot

and when he falls, the jedi order is like hm. we’re gonna tell kenobi about this. cause now skywalker is a sith with a sith master, and a grudge the size of coruscant against the guy who left him, so. let’s just give him a heads up to maybe consider going into hiding

but of COURSE when obi-wan hears his precious padawan STILL FELL he goes right to count dooku and asks to be his apprentice, he’d make such a good apprentice, dooku always liked him when he was qui-gon’s padawan, remember? now he could be his apprentice

dooku knows that with skywalker, 19 and well-trained now in the picture, his usefulness to sidious is running out, so he doesn’t have a lot of reasons to say no to kenobi. and kenobi is right. he did always like him when he was qui-gon’s apprentice, so sure he’ll give him a sith name (solence) and a red lightsaber (sick)

but basically this leads to very awkward sith family dinners where darth vader--is trying to kill darth solence with his eyes and sometimes the nearest oyster fork, darth solence is throwing sad kicked puppy expressions across the table at darth vader and sighing into his dessert pudding all the while debating with darth tyranus about how good the dark side could really be, i mean, if one were to really think about it, especially in comparison to the life we all led at the Temple, remember anakin? you loved life at the Temple.

darth sidious stopped accepting the invites five dinners ago.

#kit's silly lil aus #obikin #because obi-wan is of course only there to get anakin to return to the jedi or leave the sith #ok he hasn't really figured out his plan but it's been so hard abandoning the boy #that the moment he heard maybe he needed him he had to go #also this would be an au where.#anakin thinks this is hate sex and obi-wan is like this could not be further from hate sex let me stroke your cheek tenderly until u get it #could only be called something needlessly dramatic on ao3 like #a litany of apologies spelled out in red ink #or song lyric title that's just i'll follow you into the dark #etc etc #also before you ask no i don't save things to my drafts #think about them and then decide to delete instead of post #as soon as i open a text box im posting babyyyy

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soulsty · 8 days

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I am slowly losing my grasp on reality

#houseki no kuni #houseki no shitpost #hnk #land of the lustrous #lotl phos #phosphophyllite #the world as I know it is shifting before my very eyes #love hate and sorrow all mix together in my mind #forming something indistinguishable from human emotions #as I look upon my backyard the intense pounding that constantly lies in the back of my head subtle enough to ignore #becomes more and more intense #i fall to my knees and clench my head in my hands #suddenly a voice speaks behind me and it says to me #“if y e s spells yes #what does e y e s spell?”#I fall into a crumple on the ground and begin to shake #I weakly look behind me to see who that was and-#no one #only leaves and the grass billowing in the wind #the pounding increases again and I return to a shaking mess lying on the floor #love #hate #sorrow #the words repeat in my mind as hours pass #I fall asleep #and when I awaken #e y e s... spells eyes

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amphibianaday · 1 year

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day 1181

#amphibian #axolotl #salamander #amphibiuary2023 #described in alt text #heeheehoo wizord time #seeing everyone elses drawings has been so inspiring honestly i am having so much fun drawing #no idea what the status of my queue is now i had to change it so i could reblog everyones art #if this posts the wrong day o well #this is inspired by a game i wanted to make many many years ago #youd play as a witch exploring a dark cave in search of potion ingredients #i designed the character and prototyped the basic mechanics and then stopped having time to work on it :(#honestly i wanna return to it i just have a hundred other projects i wanna work on #heh maybe i still have the unity project it wouldd eb fun to look #or maybe it was lost in the great harddrive crash of 2021 </3 #big nostalgia moment this wizard clearly cast some kind of memory spell on me

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multifandomperson3 · 1 year

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hc: when the pevensie siblings come back to england after the Lion, the witch and the wardrobe, they all have a fancy cursive handwriting and all their teachers are very impressed.

To the point where they call Mrs. Pevensie and tell her that Peters handwriting is now readable and he gets better grades.

And Susans handwriting was already flawless before, but now it just got a little more fancy.

I belive Edmunds handwriting got a lot more cursive. i think he wrote really small and barely readabe letters before but now it's still small but more cursive and elegant.

Im kinda torn between thinking lucys handwriting is absolute chaos now (like it was fine before, but now she even uses different narinan languages and even some ancient runes or something and no teacher understands anything) OR it was a mess before (like with every child her age lol) and now her handwriting looks like written by and adult (to the point where the teachers accuse her mother of doing her homework and that lucy is somehow cheating. / I think while growing up in narnia she had teachers who showed her how to write perfectly and bc she was so young they had the most influence on her writing style. And obviously since she grew up there her handwriting developed with her. so when she came back her handwriting looks all grown up and the teachers dont understand how, bc they had a hard time getting her handwriting to be even readable (honestly they had the fear, that her handwriting would develop to look like her brothers). And now they all have fancy handwriting) (also is it noticeable that Lucy is my favourite? xD)

At some point they just decided the children were bored when they were in the country and decided to learn how to write fancy (Susan probably saw how bad her siblings handwriting was and decided that just wouldn't do)

Also the Pevensies all use fancy weird narnian words that the teachers dont understand but pretend to bc they dont want to look like children have a better vocabulary than they do

#narnia #narnia headcanon #lucy the valiant #lucy pevensie #edmund pevensie #edmund the just #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #susan the gentle #the pevensies #the pevensies return to england #i was looking into graphology and got distracted #handwriting #narnian handwriting #also i am sorry for spelling mistakes #i actually just wanted to write one or two sentences for everyone but oops look at the paragraph i wrote for lucy (and edmund) lol

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