#retail is breaking me a bit this fucking week

[tunaababee]

i think im going to fucking lose it actually

#retail is breaking me a bit this fucking week #someones gonna die #will it be me? will it be a customer? #who knows! #but someone is going to fucking Get It

[lowgothree]

000. ༺ROCK THE BOAT༻∘

summary: after getting unexpectedly left by your roommate, you find yourself in need of a replacement.

contents: reader is down bad. paige in a situationship. kinda angsty.

previous. next. masterlist.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

“i just want you to know…” tina sighs, looking painfully pitying. “it isn’t you…it’s me.”

you sit on the coach in disbelief, unable to comprehend most of what she’s saying to you. are you actually getting broken up with by your roommate?

“it’s just…finn and i think it’s time to take the next step in our relationship.” three weeks. they’ve been dating for three weeks. damn, they uhaul faster than lesbians. 

tina mistakes your confused look for sadness, sticking her lip out and reaching over to put her hand over your hand. she widens her green eyes in your direction, steadying her gaze on yours with a sympathetic smile on her lips. “but don’t worry! i’ve already put in a good word with so many of my friends so that they can tell their friends how great a roommate you were!” 

“when are you moving out?” you sigh.

she looks a bit winded by the quickness of your question. “officially? in two days but since finn helped me pack up my stuff while you were at work, i’m just gonna get the rest of my things now and stay out of your hair. i’ve already paid my half of this month's rent so you have a month to find someone to room with.” she smiles brightly. 

tina is one of those people who is always happy but you can’t help but notice that she looks even more joyous than usual. “i’m…happy for you, tina.”

she smiles even wider and makes a squealing sound as she leans over to hug you. “aww…you’re so sweet! let’s stay in touch, yeah?”

you open your mouth to respond but are immediately cut off.

“babe…can you hurry and get the rest of your things?” finn, her boyfriend, mutters. he’s been leaning against the wall waiting for tina to break the news to you. 

she gives you another apologetic grin. “he’s really tired after work…retail, those customers are ruthless, you know?” she whispers definitely loud enough for him to hear.

tina walks back to what used to be her room, packing a few more things before she comes back to the livingroom to bid you one more goodbye.

"don't be a stranger..." she mutters at you, holding her bags tightly in her grip.

you watch as she and finn leave the house, she leaves her key on the coffee table and you lock the door behind them.

TO: SEAN

you’ll never guess what just happened

FROM: SEAN

What?

TO: SEAN

tina fell in love

FROM: SEAN

Again?

Who’s the lucky guy?

TO: SEAN

finn something

whatever

i think she was fr in love this time tho

she moved out 🙁

FROM: SEAN

OH SHIT

YOU’RE FUCKED LMAO 😂

TO SEAN:

😐

gtfo

FROM: SEAN

I apologize

I mean

Condolences**

TO: SEAN

please help me find a new roommate

i don’t wanna be homeless :/

#rock the boat! #paige bueckers x reader

[seat-safety-switch]

The Mafia of Incompetence is out to get me, and not even for the first time this week. There’s all kinds of reasons these non-aligned dimbulb thugs wish me harm, but chief among them is my insistence that I must always receive my RockAuto magnets.

Perhaps you are unfamiliar. You see, RockAuto is a modern e-commerce corporation. It exists as sort of amorphous blob. Old-school parts warehouses, retail operations, and liquidators go out of business all the time. RockAuto scoops up those car parts and sells them over the internet. One of the things they include with every order is at least one small, rectangular refrigerator magnet, of another freak's car.

Time was, you could count on four things in life: gravity, death, taxes, and RockAuto magnets showing up with your order. Now, fewer than that many things are true. Border patrol has been getting increasingly sticky-fingered around my part of the world, and I'll often have a RockAuto package show up with different tape on it, missing all of its packing material and – critically – the magnet.

I've complained to my local political representative, using virtually the same words as I'm speaking to you now. They ignored me, because they have real problems to solve (what caviar to pair with which wine, how to give a larger tax break than 100% to oil companies.) I had to take matters into my own hands. Contrary to popular belief, a background check for the federal government is really easy to fake. Soon, I was the government's newest parcel snoop.

That's where I met my then-coworker, now-friend, Shaky Tim. You see, he was the one stealing the magnets. I caught him red handed my first day. When all the other border guards went to lunch, he stayed behind and hacked open a bunch of the RockAuto packages. His desk at work was laden with the things, a cascading pile many inches thick of gleaming hot-rods, warm-rods, and even cold-rods.

Ethically, I was in a bit of a pickle. Reporting him to my "superiors" would stop the flow of my magnets into his pockets, but it would result in no other benefit to myself. Ignoring him was out of the question: my refrigerator still had at least a few square inches of empty space on its fascia. When in doubt, make like King Solomon: we decided to split the booty. I wouldn't report him, and he'd punch my time card for me and come by with a shopping bag full of magnets every weekend.

We've been doing this for a few years now, and everything was going great. My boss had been giving me glowing performance reviews, based entirely on my ability to not embarrassingly fuck up at work. And my pension was fattening nicely. Unfortunately, Shaky Tim was the weak point in the whole apparatus. He had a crisis of conscience, and quit the government altogether rather than admit his horrible crime. Doing so backed up the entire works: all the remaining border guards were not nearly as motivated to process RockAuto packages quickly. I didn't get my new Mikuni carb floats for, like, a whole week.

[ms-rampage]

Familiar Taste of Poison 

Lloyd Hansen x Fem!reader 

Summary: Y/n has a habit of threatening Lloyd's men, so he has to teach her a lesson

Warnings: Language. Drugging. Smut. Some degradation. 18+. No minors beyond this point. 

Word count: 2.1k

Sorta based on the song "Familiar Taste of Poison" by Halestorm 

A/N: I do plan on writing more of Lloyd! Working on part 2 of "Sold Off"

Just by being associated with him, puts a huge target on your head. You use to live a normal life, you went to work and went back to your apartment in the city then you met Lloyd Hansen, you were lying if you didn't think he was attractive, maybe if he shaved that 70s porn-stache then yeah you'd fuck him, but you didn't really think much of him and you thought vise versa, but no Lloyd took an interest in you. 

Not by how innocent you look, even though you didn't look innocent to start with, but how you held yourself, he's stopped by your work a few times, you worked in a diner, and there were a few times where you raised your voice at some entitled, impatient customers because you were short-staffed, and you also had to make coffee, take orders while you, and 2 other coworkers try to move as fast as you can taking orders and getting them out, while your manager was nowhere to be found, probably taking another smoke break, that lazy, no good asshole. 

After a late shift, you finally leave, and go home. Working over time, you walk to your car, get in and drive home. Only a 15 minute drive from work to your apartment. 

Fast forward to a few weeks later, you meet Lloyd again while on your lunch break. You hate the food your work serves, crappy diner food that you couldn't bare to eat because it made you nauseous, so you went to the deli that is up the street from your work, and got your usual freshly made sandwich. 

You sat down, took a bite of it, and searched for a video to watch on YouTube. As you were eating, and watching your video, you felt a presence next to you, turning your head and you see him, that's right, him Lloyd Hansen, you didn't see him walk in, or when you walked into the deli, just the usuals sitting in their usual spots, doing their own thing. 

“Hello sunshine.” he greets you, showing off his pearly whites. 

You remove one of your earbuds, “Hi.” you respond awkwardly, “Can I help you?.”

He adjusts in his seat, facing you completely, “Yes you can.”

*8 months later*

“You want me to take out a gun, and blow a fucking hole in your head, right here, right now?!?!.” you threaten one of Lloyd’s men who is speaking utter complete nonsense which is what Lloyd absolutely hated, especially from the new guys. The so-called know-it-alls.  

“Miss Y/L/N.” he mutters, scared for his life. 

“You want that?!.” you threaten him. 

“N-no, no Miss Y/L/N.” his voice shaking, fear in his eyes. The poor guy has been working for Lloyd for a few weeks now, and he already got on your bad side.  

“Good, because I’d hate to kill another one of Lloyd’s men who thought it would be a good idea to get on my bad side.” you tell him. 

“A-also, uhh, Lloyd wants to see you in his office.” he finishes before being dismissed by you.

You wave your hand as a sign for him to leave your office, which he doesn’t hesitate to do. Months ago you were working in a diner, making minimum wage, and went home exhausted, only to do the same thing again the next day until you met Lloyd. You wouldn't say you have a short temper, but working retail, and hospitality had lowered your sanity because of how stupid, and entitled people can get. You tend to see that side of humanity. 

After that you didn’t worry about money, because he had it. He treated you well, he spoiled you, and not to mention the sex was unbelieveable. You knew what he did, to his, and also to your surprise it didn’t bother you, not even a bit. 

After getting word from the new guy, you downed the rest of your red wine that Lloyd had sent to your office. You poured yourself a little more wine before leaving for his office which is three doors down from yours, and it also has your shared bedroom attached to it. 

You approach the corridors, and open them to his office, “You wanted to see me?.”

"Yes pumpkin." he answers, standing up from his chair wiping his weapons "What have I told you about threatening my men?."

You shrug, your normal sarcastic, and smartass self "Not to threaten them." 

Placing his gun onto his desk, "And what have you been doing?." 

"Threatening them, but it's not my fault that they're idiots who get on my bad side.". you tell him, standing your ground like you always do. Lloyd knew what he was getting into when he took you under his wing. You're sarcastic, bold, blunt, strong-minded and straightforward. 

He cups your chin, forcing you to tilt your head back to look directly up at him. 

"What am I gonna do with you?." he tilts his head to the side, "Such a loose cannon."

You smile up at him, "I try.". You always had to sass him, as much as he hated it, but you knew he loved it, he just wouldn't say it. 

"What was it that you said? 'You want me to take out a gun, and blow a fucking hole in your head, right here, right now' is that what you said?." 

Shaking your head, "Thats exactly what I said, you heard that?." 

"You said it pretty loud sweetheart." he says, squeezing your chin, "God I love that mouth of yours."

Still holding your chin, he guides you back towards the doors to your bedroom, you were lost in a trance with those blue orbits of his that you didn't even notice the back of your knees hitting the end of your bed. 

You knew where this was going, and you were prepared for it. He's taken you hard, and rough before. 

To his surprise yet again, he was your first time, but at the same time he was honored, and a bit cocky when he took your virginity. Him being your first time boosted his ego to a new level. 

Lloyd pins you down into the bed, the look in his eyes, completely dark and sinister looking, he's not gonna show you any remorse. 

You always threaten his men, the new ones mostly, and he had enough of it, you've been a bit bratty. 

"You've been very bratty." he whispers in your ear, "And in gonna fuck it out of you until you can't walk properly."

Your breath hitches, your head suddenly starts spinning, vision is hazy, and you are unable to move your limbs.

"I know that look, might’ve been the wine I had sent to your office." he tells you, "Might have laced it. Might have not."

Did he drug you? If so, why? Was it necessary? He's never done it before. 

"W-why?." the only word you're able to mutter.

He moves a few strains of your hair away from your face, cupping it "Because pumpkin, you're a fighter, and I'm gonna need you… restricted. Not the first time I've drugged you cupcake, but this time it was in a slightly bigger dose."  

Your eyes wided, he wasn't wrong, you did enjoy fighting him when it came to sex, you've tried topping him, only for him to make you a bottom, you're very fiesty, but he did have his limits, he enjoyed taking control when you weren’t fighting, or resisting him. He could tie your hands to the headboard, and you would still find a way out of them.

The drugs he had slipped into your wine had stopped your movements completely, now you're laying there unable to move. You start to internally panic because you know what Lloyd was capable of, and only now it started to scare you. 

"L-Lloyd, please." you beg, wanting him not to do this, you weren't sure about being drugged, "I'll behave, I won't fight, please."

He clicks his tongue, "Oh princess, too late now. Can't magically cure you from the drugs." 

He shifts in bed, and starts to undo your pants, taking them off as well as your shoes. You couldn't tell, but you were 100% sure you were naked within a few minutes,  you might still have your bra on, you couldn't tell or remember if you put one on in the first place. Your hands pinned above your head, even though he wasn't even grabbing your wrists.

Lloyd started to strip out of his clothes, you hoped no one walked in, because it would be embarrassing for you to have anyone but Lloyd to see you naked and submissive. 

Yeah, you're a loud mouth, you don't take shit from anyone, except Lloyd, and you are gonna face a consequence of your actions. 

It's not just sex, it's sex with Lloyd, and he is one for edging, denial, choking, degrading and overall harsh punishments. 

It takes you back 8 months when you two first had sex, you wanted more of him, to feel him, to be underneath him. As much as he got under your skin, you still wanted him, it was like a sweet escape from reality, he was easy on you, but now he drugged you because you had to fight him when it came down to sex.

Without warning, he shoves his full length cock into you.  You let out a loud gasp, and it felt like you got stabbed down there. 

"It's okay sweetheart, you're doing so well." he whispers in your ear as he shoves himself in and out of you. Placing one of your legs over his massive shoulders. 

You can feel him in your stomach, if you could look down, you'd probably see a bulge in your gut, rearranging your insides. 

Not gonna lie, but being drugged made this sensation, the feeling, a lot better. The feeling of his cock going in and out with full force made you get there closer than usual, probably because you had no control over your body. 

"You're such a needy little slut aren't you?." he groans, grabbing a handful of your hair "My desperate, needy little whore." Making your head go back, as he attacks your neck, continuing his fast, rough pace, stretching you out, as soft whines and mews escape your lips. 

"F-fuck." you whine, as your body obeys Lloyd's movements. Tears rolling down your cheeks, you feel an orgasm coming, but you know he's gonna deny you. 

"I-I'm.. gonna." 

"You will do no such thing, pumpkin, you will cum when I tell you to cum. Understand?." 

You loved it when he was in his dominant headspace, which was all the time. "Y-yes." you're able to whine, looking and sounding pathetic.

"Yes what?." he asks, tilting his head as he continues to rearrange your insides at an aggressive, painful pace. 

"Yes, daddy." 

"That's right sweetheart."

He continues to fuck you like his little toy whore, making you hit your climax, and cum, not once, not twice, not thrice but four times and each time he denied you to cum, and edge your desperate ass. Your energy was completely drained even when the drugs wore off, he kept on going, he's relentless. He knows your body better than you do.

"F-fuck daddy." you cry, feeling the painful soreness between your legs, "Fuck, you feel so good." He places a kiss on your forehead slowing down his rough pace. One hand holding your leg while the other holds the back of your head, tight grip on your hair, the only thing you can do is grip the bed sheets. 

"You're so good to your daddy." he chuckles into your ear, "A loud mouth smartass, but you're so good to me."

Both your bodies covered in sweat, he rolls off of you before getting every last drop of cum into your pussy. Laying beside you with one arm behind his head. You're a panting, sweaty, messy hair mess, legs sore. Your whole body is sore, Lloyd isn't even tired, he looks like he could go another round or 2. 

"I hope you learned your lesson, pumpkin." he says, turning to his side to face you. Breathing heavily, tears still running down your cheeks. 

"Was drugging me really necessary?" you ask him, turning your head to look him in the eyes.

"Yes, I like it when you're submissive and I'm in control." he tells you, moving one of his hands onto your waist to bring you closer to him.

You scoff, "You're an asshole." He chuckles, moving your hair away from your face "But I'm your asshole, and you're stuck with me." He places another kiss on your forehead, before placing another on your lips. 

#lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen #the gray man #lloyd hansen x female reader #chris evans #chris evans characters #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen smut

[bus-ghoul]

Stranger Things Femslash Week

Monday, April 10 - Women’s Wrongs

@strangerthingsfemslashweek

A Ronance drabble, in which Nancy commits a CRIME.

“Nance!”

“What?”

“That’s illegal!”

“It was in the reduced section Ro, it was literally a dollar.”

“It’s still stealing!”

Nancy looks from around the fridge door at her, and frowns. Robin gestures at the pineapple on their table accusingly.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or if this is a bit.”

“I am completely serious, what if they noticed and they get security to question us next time we go in?”

Part of Nancy wants to just hold Robin’s face and kiss her on the head for being so cute and flustered and another part is annoyed that this of all things, is an actual argument they appear to be moving towards.

“So, firstly, if they noticed they wouldn’t care because it was a reduced pineapple that would have been tossed tomorrow if I hadn’t bought it,” she closes the fridge, “Second, I only didn’t pay for it because their self-service machine doesn’t fucking work, so if there is some busy-body working there that was watching my every move, I could just say I didn’t notice that it didn’t scan.” Nancy finishes, grabbing the pineapple by the leaves, thumping it down on the chopping board, and picking up a knife.

Robin is still grumbling. Nancy rolls her eyes and turns round.

“I’ve assuaged your anxieties” she states, exasperated, “Is this a moral issue you have? Stealing from multi-million dollar retail corporations?”.

“Yes Nance, operative word ‘stealing’, is a moral issue for me.” Robin exclaims throwing her hands up.

“We have absolutely stolen before.”

“In dire, extreme apocalyptic end of the world situations!” Robin’s eyebrows have flown up under her bangs. It makes Nancy bite her lip not to smile.

“I’ve definitely done worse than steal” Nancy points out, her chest feels light with a weird kind of giddy excitement that she gets when she's 'arguing' with Robin.

“Again, different.” Robin walks closer to her, and Nancy steps in front of the pineapple to defend it “you did that to protect people.”

Nancy whips round and lops the top off the pineapple before Robin can grab it.

The affronted gasp from behind her breaks out Nancy's grin. She turns back around with a small piece of the pineapple between two fingers.

Robin is frowning, and her brow furrows further when she sees Nancy is laughing at her. Nancy pushes the fruit to the pout of her girlfriend’s lips.

“Babe,” she says sincerely “This was an act of love too, I don’t even really like pineapple.”

“The fact that you stole it for me makes it worse,” Robin tilts her head back but Nancy determinedly keeps it pushed to her chin. “You have made me morally complicit. Would you kill someone just if I asked you to?”

“Silly question, of course I would.” Nancy states pushing the fruit between Robin’s lips while there’s opportunity.

Robin makes a startled noise and it’s just so silly and Nancy just loves her she dissolves into giggles.

Then Robin is laughing too, and a piece of the pineapple flies out of her mouth over Nancy’s head and it just makes them laugh harder.

“We could make pineapple cake?” Nancy suggests looping her arms around Robin’s neck and pulling her down so she can kiss her sticky chin.

“No way.” Robin says, pressing a number of much stickier kisses to Nancy’s face, who cries out and pushes her away. “I’m eating the whole thing right now, gotta get rid of the evidence.”

#ronance #ronance fic #robin buckley #robin x nancy #nancy wheeler #stranger things femslash week #please give me encouragement if you legitimately enjoyed this at all #I need applause to LIVE #fic

[zakubabbles]

Found out last week that my former printmaking professor is retiring and some of the department faculty were throwing a tiny farewell party.

He and his wife, my other professor, helped me out so much during my college career as well as afterwards. I received so much encouragement from them and other professors to go for my MFA. When that was put on hold, they helped me by donating a good chunk in order for me to go to a printmaking residency in 2014.

Immediately after that residency I felt revitalized and capable of anything. So I got a retail job. XD It was so I could save up money to go to other residencies around the world. Anyway, that, and everything else I had planned, didn't work out. I stayed stuck in retail, my morale dropped, depression worsened, self worth plummeted, and shame in being a failure and not living up to my (and in some way, my professors) expectations built up.

I had also intended to gift my professors some of the prints I made from the residency. But laziness (and embarrassment) got the better of me and I kept putting it off. Semester after semester. Year after year.

So after reading he was retiring I realized this was my last chance to probably see him and I had to get those prints ready.

The prints have pretty much been finished since 2014 save for one final touch, sewing into them. Finally got my ass in gear and did that. Ngl, it was difficult considering my hands have been very stiff, swollen, and achy from not having medication available, but I fucking did it.

I got ready and went back to my old university. Very nervous. Driving there didn't help my nerves.

When I arrived, prof was talking with someone but once he caught a glimpse of me standing there he recognized me even with my mask on and greeted me with a hug.

According to him, I look great! XD Better and healthier than I did last time he saw me (i don't btw, I really really don't)!

He saw the portfolio and off we went inside the classroom to see. He seemed happy. He was showing them off to the students who were there and talked about me and my old work to them. He also made us all shake hands and wanted us to exchange info because we're draftspeople. We were all awkward.

Then his wife/ other professor came in and there were more hugs and more talking and praise. Apparently, they've both been showing slides images of my old work to students through out the years which feels nice. All the while I couldn't stop apologizing for being so late. And they kept shushing me about it.

Did see a couple of my old classmates. One, who was an acquaintance and I hadn't thought of since school, said he remembered me/ recognized me because of my eyes.

That was a surprise.

Stepped away for a bit and roamed around the department building. Nostalgia. But it was less painful than the nostalgia from earlier this week. College was a good time. Aside from the bad times anyway XD

Went back to talk a bit again with my professors and then said goodbye.

On my way to the car I decided to walk around the campus for a bit. It's changed so much. The streets are gone. It's a walkable campus now. Pretty.

I still feel crummy about myself and *vaguely gestures everything* but I do feel better that I finally got that big looming overdue project done with and I saw my professors again. Print professor still invited me to go to the studio and use it despite him no longer being there XD

Driving back I kept thinking how I wish I could cry.

I wish I could just break down and grieve everything I couldn't do. I know it sounds so melodramatic, and I suppose it is, but I feel I need it.

Shame I can't.

Anyway.

#shut up zak

[hellskitchenswhore]

#smut (Vol. 2)

➸ Mad More by @hellsfirekeepsyouwarm

➸ The Bet by @poisondaisy - fluff and smut

➸ Relax by @pinkandblueblurbs - virgin!reader

➸ The Longest Day by @poisondaisy - You help Matt relax after a long day

➸ Stress by @stranger-nightmare - You help Matt relax after a long day

➸ The Devil's Trigger by @wint3r-h3art - a little #angst

➸ Devil's Advocate Part I, Part II by @eatommo - Thinking you'll be away for work, Matt gives up sex for Lent

➸ Sidebar by @peterman-spideyparker - You're nervous waiting for the results of your Bar Exam. Matt distracts you

➸ Devil!matt by @pastafossa - #rough sex

➸ "You taste like fucking candy" by @mattmurdocksscars

➸ The Devil That You Know by @lovelybucky1 - sub!Matt

➸ Pain Point by @letterfromvienna - Matt's #pain kink

➸ Matt can smell you ovulating by @milf-murdock

➸ Lawyer!matt by @letterfromvienna

➸ "Bend over and spread your legs." by @mattmurdocksscars

➸ Relax by @peterman-spideyparker - poor matt's had a long week, #bj

➸ Embrace It by @peterman-spideyparker - Your first time together

➸ Popsicle by @mindidjarin - Matts eating a popsicle, thats literally it. not technically smut but its still obscene. smut-adjacent, if you will

➸ Glory Be by @idrinkcoffeeandobsess - Matt finds another use for his rosary, #religious imagery, #praise kink

➸ "You like being treated as a doll, don't you?" by @mattmurdocksscars

➸ Do It Again by @coalix - You accidentally punch Matt in the face, not smut but still spicy

➸ Pussydrunk Matt by @twistneteclipse - Matt starts saying hail marys, #religious imagery

➸ Good Boy by @mattmurdocksscars - softsub!matt

➸ Teasing The Devil by @toomanystoriessolittletime - Matt doesn't show at an important event and you get revenge while he's in church, #angst

➸ Let Me Hear You by @stranger-nightmare - Matt encourages you to be a bit louder

➸ hands off by @grippingbeskar - You and matt make a bet who can last longer without touching the other, #mutual masturbation

➸ Slip Up by @peterman-spideyparker - You let the "D" word slip, #breeding kink

➸ lunch break by @briefcasejuice - Office sex with your boss

➸ subdrop by @clints-lucky-arrow - #comfort

➸ Desperation by @letterfromvienna - He really, really shouldn't be doing this.

➸ shut up by @skeletonsslut - Matts got you a bit overstimulated

➸ Mirror sex w/ Matt by @murdocks-devil

➸ Use Your Words by @amchapel - #dom!matt pushes your boundaries, #safe word

➸ Crossing the Line by @peachyxreads - Professor!Murdock

➸ closer by @idrinkcoffeeandobsess - #love

➸ "Divine" by @martyrmurdock - You're on your knees to worship, #religious imagery, #bj

➸ absolution by @andrewrussgarfield - #religious imagery

➸ catharsis by @andrewrussgarfield - FWB

➸ necessary stimuli by @briefcasejuice - #mutual masturbation

➸ Office Hours by @missbeewrites - you're at the firm feeling needy

➸ My Neck is Open Wide, Begging for a Fist Around It by @shedaresthedevil - Matt's nervous to be rough w/ you and you put him at ease. vigilante!reader w/ in-depth convo about kinks

➸ Breathplay by @weareallstoriesintheend - #softdom!matt

➸ Silk Sheets by @toomanystoriessolittletime - You work retail and a hot guy comes in looking for new silk sheets

➸ walk towards him or run by @mvtthewmurdvck - #angst

➸ forbearance by @prettyeyesnof4ce - in trying to close the distance between you, you push matt farther than you thought, #angst

➸ praise by @our-chaos - drabble, #breeding kink

➸ Delirious by @peachyxreads - Matt takes care of you after a long day

#masterlists #smut

[throughdarkeningskies]

I FUCKED UP

I FUCKED UP GOOD

okay. so. it's the end of the day I've had the worst week ever my brain is Not able to fully mask at the minute but w/e. half an hour until hometime, and my manager comes up to me. we are having a charity dress up day next Saturday. great. what am I dressing up as?

and like. okay. I have bits and pieces of a Harrowhark cosplay but I'm too autism to wear it to conventions and shit. and anyway there's never any on.

so the second she says it the lizard autism brain breaks through and goes COSPLAY COSPLAY COSPLAY TIME TO BE HARROWHARK IN REAL LIFE so I explain oh I might be a character from a book. she has skulls on. the book is the locked tomb

and my managers like oh haha I might be a wizard and internally I'm like NO FUCK I FORGOT. THIS IS GOING TO BE NORMAL PEOPLE HALLOWEEN. I DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO DRESS UP TO THE NINES (hehe) FOR NORMAL PEOPLE HALLOWEEN

but like. I've said it now, and harrow is definitely halloweeny enough to get away with it, but oh my god its a retail job, people going to be staring at me in the gocey store, but oh my god I want to do it, I want to be the kind of person that could do that, but what if nobody else dresses up. what if I get the date wrong

help

#tlt #fuck fUCK FUCK #<- wants to be a badass but is extremely socially awkward

[lambourngb]

Any chance for new snippets from ring maker fic?😉 Plus I totally agree with your comments about Michael’s feelings!

I have been writing, it's about 45,000 words now, I'm hoping I can get it to the finish line in the next week or so. I'm a bit salty from last night so this snippet contains the "villain" of my story, Forrest Long.

so not forrest long friendly! and it's still pretty rough.

Previous snippets : 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,

The small bit of glass drew him back to his workbench. Hope was still a dangerous thing to him as he set to work on a second ring, but maybe it was time to be brave. Just as he was about to separate a new disk of tungsten to work into a ring, he heard Walt’s voice from the front of the shop, “The UFO museum is right down the road if you want to gawk at something and not buy anything-”

That was a very rude observation, even for Walt, who had no patience for a lot of the undecided tourist crowd that wandered through their door but still managed to coax them into buying something. Perhaps he had been left alone too long in the role of shop clerk while Michael had had his private breakdowns about Alex in the workshop over the last week, to remember the first rule of retail. Tell the customer what they want. 

It was time to stop hiding with his kiln and to face his responsibilities as the other half of ownership.

Michael stood up, brushed off his hands and straightened his clothes. He prepared himself to charm whatever particularly clueless tourist that had wandered into his shop and smooth over the ruffled edges from Walt’s derision. Pasting on his face his retail worker smile, he stepped into the main room of the store and then stopped dead at who he saw before him.

Walt’s insolence made a whole lot more sense to Michael just then. Standing in his store, with his hands all over the clean, glass cabinets was Alex’s boyfriend, Forrest Long.

Fuck his life.

Forrest snapped his head up from his perusal of the display, and then flashed a wide smile at Michael’s appearance. “Well, we meet again, Michael, isn’t it?” His voice was sweet as honey. “Your boss over here has a strange way of greeting customers. How does this shop stay in business?”

“I ain’t his boss, and we do just fine for business,” Sanders cut in, before picking up his bottle of Windex from under the cabinet and glared at the other man. Michael knew exactly what he was planning, and it wasn’t to clean off the prints from the glass surface, that was for sure. 

He swiftly moved to cut him off from spraying Forrest, sliding in front of him smoothly. “That’s true, he’s not my boss, um, we co-own the shop together.” Michael turned to Walt, who was glowering at him in disappointment. “Why don’t you take a break and get some lunch.”

“It’s too late for lunch.”

“Then an early dinner.”

Walt looked mulish at the suggestion, before reading the seriousness in Michael’s jawline and backed off. “Fine, I’ll head off, I was gonna check in with Arturo anyway about getting a cup of coffee after his lunch rush. If you’ve got this all under control.” Walt glanced dismissively at Forrest before turning back to Michael. “But you call me if you need me… to pick you up something too.”

With that, Walt disappeared back into the private area of the shop, presumably on his way out the backdoor to their neighbor, the Crashdown. Michael turned back to Forrest, who was still looking around the store with bored interest on his face. “Is there something in particular you’re looking for that I can help you with?”

“Hmm, I stopped in here looking for answers, can you help me with that? I’ve been trying to pin my boyfriend down for lunch, but he’s always busy, and apparently he’s always busy here.” Forrest’s genial smile didn’t waver as he stared at Michael. “Did you give Alex a job or something?” 

“Or something,” Michael answered evenly. “I can tell you he’s not on the payroll.”

“That’s very funny.” He kept smiling at Michael, but it never reached his eyes. “He’s not much of a shopper, so I’m very curious. According to Alex you’re old high school friends. So what is this, just two old friends catching up? Every day for the last two weeks?”

“Are you following him or something?”

“No, that was just a guess, but thank you for confirming it.” Forrest smirked smugly, before giving Michael a searching glance from head to toe. “I have a hard time buying the ‘friends’ story. I know all of Alex’s friends from Roswell. He talked a lot about Maria and Liz over the years. He’s never mentioned you.”

Michael glanced down, hooding his expression as he examined his work below, gleaming on the dark velvet. He hoped the gesture hid his anger. “Maybe I’m not very memorable.”

“Oh, I find that hard to believe. Alex, he’s never been one to hang around if he’s bored. Trust me.” A lock of dark hair fell over his eye before he shook it back into place with a practiced move. He brought his hand up to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully. His hand was adorned with several heavy rings, including an ugy signet on his ring finger. Michael didn’t see a space for a wedding ring or engagement ring on the other man’s finger, or space for anything outside of egoism. “He played the field for a while, but you know, I was the one who outlasted all the others.”

“Yeah he mentioned you guys have only been together for the last two years.”

Forrest’s face flinched minutely, Michael’s observation landing a very neat hit. “It’s been three years.”

Michael shrugged, not arguing the point. He knew what Alex had said to him about their relationship, and so did Forrest, based on the joke he had made the other night.

“Well, if you really know Alex, then you know how he can be. A bit closed off from his heart and his head.” Forrest waited for a reaction, before continuing with a slight edge to his voice when Michael remained bland. “I can tell there’s a bit of history here. Something unrequited? Let me guess, did you have a crush on him in high school or something? Then you lost touch with him when you went to college?”

Unrequited. 

Michael kept himself from laughing, although there was a shade of truth in that word. Unrequited as a unit of measurement could mean a number of things. After all, there were several ways he had never measured up when it came to shared feelings. Shared dreams. Shared weakness. He considered it unrequited when it came to believing they would end up together one day. He considered it unrequited when he thought about how Alex could ever consider marrying this prick in the first place.

Outloud, Michael shook his head, “Nah, I never went to college.”

“So what are you to him? His old townie fling then?” The derision dripped heavily in the air between them. 

“You’ll have to ask Alex that.” Michael kept his retail-smile in place with effort. “If you dare, that is. I mean, I suppose if you’re a gifted writer, you might be able to come up with a way to ask him that without coming off as a jealous prick. But I wouldn’t bet money on that.”

This time Michael scored an even deeper hit, invoking the implication of jealousy. Forrest licked his lips in response, and looked down, avoiding Michael’s gaze obviously. His fingers tapped restlessly on the glass. “You’re probably right. That’s not a great look for me, to be threatened by you of all people. I’m going to blame this on too much time staring at microfiche.” 

“Sure. If the shoe fits.”

Instead of firing back, Forrest pressed his finger on the glass over the turquoise jewelry arrangement. “Interesting shade of blue in your inventory.” Michael fought with the urge to use Walt’s Windex on the other man, but stayed unmoving as he continued lightly, “I think it’s unique only to Roswell and only to stones mined in the last seventy-some years. The book I’m writing, it’s all about the late 1940s and Roswell. Lots of secrets and mysteries here after World War II.” 

“I wouldn’t know. My high school history class was a little limited in scope.”

Forrest smiled again, back to the too-friendly expression of before. All of his previous attempts at intimidating Michael had vanished, covered up by the veneer of politeness. “I’ll be sure to send you an advanced copy then.” He tapped the case again with his ugly signet ring, before backing away toward the door. “It was nice getting to know you better, Michael.”

Michael didn’t bother with a response. He didn’t trust himself to make a polite one. God, after he had met the man at Ann’s pre-wedding party, he had left the event without having any idea what Alex saw in the guy. He was even more confused now about the appeal for Alex. Perhaps it was petty of him to believe, but there was no way it was good sex. The way Forrest had turned every subject back on himself, even at the party, Michael had a hard time seeing him as an unselfish lover. 

Not for the first time, he thought that Alex had deliberately sought out a partner that wouldn’t remind him of their past, of Michael. He was starting to see that it might be a good thing, he wasn’t coming up short in the comparison with Forrest. Literally or metaphorically. 

He heard the backdoor to the store open and close heavily. After a moment, Walt was back at his side. Without speaking, Michael handed the bottle of Windex over to him with a roll of paper towels. He snatched it from Michael’s grasp greedily, like he was being reunited with a long, lost companion, and spraying it heavily over the jewelry display case, targeting the prints. With one swipe of a towel, he erased all signs of Forrest Long from their store. 

“Oh shucks, is Shorty gone?”

“Yes, he just left.”

“Did you call him a cab so he could get home?”

Michael turned to Walt, and lifted his eyebrow curiously. “Why would I call him a cab? Didn’t he drive here?”

“Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. All I know is that we had a car in our lot that didn’t belong to a paying customer, so I had it towed.” Walt wiped the glass with a shade more enthusiasm than the task really merited, with a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-mouth smile of faux innocence. “It was Arturo’s idea.”

#malex fic #malex wip #jewelry maker au #michael guerin guerilla jewelry maker #not forrest friendly #anti-forlex #thanks for the ask! #i stan walt sanders

[aceontheline]

Vent Post

T//W: Anxiety, Depression, Su*c*dal thoughts, Self harm

Only read under the cut if you're willing. If not, keep scrolling. I'll understand. It's more so for me to express my thoughts.

And yes, this relates to "Welcome to the Table". You'll see why.

I was barely eating, showering... Functioning. I was running on no energy or too much energy. Because I also have Bipolar II, which makes life a living hell sometimes. This was one of my most saddening episodes thus far.

So. I won't lie. About 5 or so months ago, I was in a REALLY rough spot. I was in a shitty retail job that I felt I couldn't escape. It gave me a lot of Anxiety at best & made me feel like subhuman trash on the worst days. Sometimes, I would have to go home and deal with my Panic Attacks, or sometimes I'd break down and cry in the middle of my shift for no reason. On top of that, I was already applying for new jobs & either never hearing back from them, or they'd schedule me for interviews at the most inconvenient time. And I couldn't seem to reschedule sooo... Back to square one.

Also had a bad spell where I couldn't find a job for 2 whole months. So yay.

During the anxiety all this brought me, I was also dealing with some REAL bad Depression too. Felt like nobody wanted or cared about me in my friend group, or that my family was disappointed in me because I don't have a career in the field I studied for in college. When you let intrusive thoughts consume you, often times they get REAL dark.

I even had a plan. I won't say what it is here, but just know it was brewing. I had even relapsed at one point, self harming. I had done it again some time later & I was mad at myself.

So. How in the fuck does "Welcome to the Table" fit into all this? Well, it started as a bit of a distraction for me. The first video I can recall watching of his was "The States Play Among Us". I thought: "Huh. This Ben guy is really funny! Let's check out some of his other stuff!"

After that, some more of Ben's videos had come up in my YouTube recommended feed, and I watched a couple. I got a few good laughs, something that hadn't happened in WEEKS. And I wasn't thinking all the bad thoughts anymore. Had Ben been my saving grace? Naaahhh, that's stupid...

No, it's not. His videos and comedy really helped me out of one of the darkest spirals I had ever been going down. Eventually, I got sucked into his content SO MUCH that I ended up forgetting about "The Plan". I was feeling happier, more vibrant, and I was making people genuinely laugh at my jokes. Things felt... Fresh and new.

As I sit here thinking about the impact this series has had on me, I now realize what people mean when they say that a piece of content "Saved their life". I was always super skeptical about it, but...

Take my story as an example. All it takes sometimes is a distraction for those intrusive, icky thoughts to go away. And for me, that was Ben's series. Not that he'll ever see this but...

Thank you, Ben Brainard. Thank you so much for making me happy during a real dark time in my life ❤️

#venting #possibly triggering #personal story #wttt #welcome to the table

[hunterofthehunters]

15) Adios

Lots of thoughts from this one. Content warning, I’m gonna talk about a pet that passed away, along with other thoughts.

A few years back, when I was still in college, I had a dog. First dog that was ever really my responsibility. My friend, my family, my buddy. 

Beautiful black lab named Hana. Smart dog, listened really well, had a bark as loud as a dog three times her size. And she was already pretty big. She had a habit of following me around everywhere, always wanted to be with me. Whenever I’d do my pacing when thinking about something while writing, or anything really, she’d always be right up my butt. Bumped into me a few times, almost made me trip. I got mad at her sometimes for that. But she’d always give me that sweet look, and it’d be right back to how things were. Loved that dog.

She got cancer less than a year after we got her. Young dog. Raised her from being just this little pup. Felt like we’d had her for years. Gone, just like that. 

I remember sitting by her in our living room that summer, while she was sick. Lost a retail job that I was balancing in-between work because I just couldn’t handle coming and going every day after sleeping next to her, seeing her suffer, wondering if things would ever get better. They did. We had hope for a bit that she’d fully recover, even. 

Then it came back. And she died within the week. 

I remember not wanting to do anything that month. I just couldn’t. I was lucky it happened during summer break. I might’ve flunked college completely if I didn’t have the time to grieve. 

I remember when they made the decision to put her to sleep. I didn’t want to. But she was hurting. And she couldn’t take any more. 

I never went with them when they left. I kept hoping some miracle would happen, but it didn’t. She went there without me that day. My parents were the ones who said goodbye that day. 

Whenever I go back to that moment, I wish like fucking hell I’d sucked it up and been there to say goodbye. So she knew that I loved her, down to that last moment. 

Her ashes are on my shelf to this day, resting right over my desktop as I type these thoughts out right now. I wonder if she’d be sitting near my chair right now, sighing happily as she drifts off to sleep. I can only hope she doesn’t resent me for what I didn’t do that day.

Why am I bringing this up? Adios brought me back there, for a bit. 

Adios is a role-playing game. You’re not playing as ‘yourself in a situation’, though maybe you’ll see yourself sometimes. You’re playing as a man who lived a life full of regrets. A man who wishes he could’ve done right by the ones he loved. This is his story. You just get to bear witness to it.

Maybe you’ll see something in that. A mirror, maybe. Or maybe you won’t. Fact is, this is a game about mourning. Mourning ones we’ve lost. Mourning decisions we’ve made. Mourning the decisions we didn’t make, or should have made. 

Knowing your death is coming is a rare privilege in some ways. A curse in others.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, honestly. I just wanted to talk. Maybe there’s some parts of me that never fully grieved, that this helped me sort out. Or maybe I just need to reflect. Either way, it was a good experience. I think some part of me really needed this. Appreciated sharing in these thoughts with someone else. 

We had--well, have--another dog. Quite a few other dogs, but this little boy’s special. Little fiery chihuahua named Bruno. He was with us with when we lost Hana. Had him before her for about a year, and he was with her when she was growing up. Was supposed to be mom’s little buddy, but when Hana got sick, he was with me in the living room every night. We slept next to her, were with her every step of the way. Guess somehow we bonded, because ever since then he’s taken a similar role that she had. A buddy who follows me around, keeps me company. Makes sure neither of us are alone. 

I think, when the years pass and it’s time for him to go, I’ll make up for what I didn’t do last time.

Adios means goodbye. Make sure you say it when you need to.

‘Til then, I’m gonna enjoy our years together.

Love you, little dude.

#loog's 2023 media thread #adios #tw animal death

[roboromantic]

ugh so we can see our assignments in the employee portal but it has a placeholder number for the number of items to scan until we get the actual list on Wednesday, right? So I see that I have the usual assignment, another one that looks to be a similar assignment but for all I know could be another one of those massive ones, and an assignment of a type I haven’t done before with no real number attached bc you scan Literally Everything

So I check my email today and thankfully the first two are pretty average sized, but this last one is “scan literally everything in the sections you’re assigned unless this list tells you not to.” and also I was told I have to schedule a time to meet up at the store so someone can show me the ropes for that one. which is GREAT bc I’d much rather do that than stumble around a bit like some of the other job types I haven’t been 100% sure of but also. I gotta try to schedule a time to meet up with someone while still working around my brother’s schedule

also there’s a couple (albeit small) certification tests I gotta do that I think are just “do you know the lingo and what to enter for x scenario yet?” but still. I was TRYING to relax here.   

they’re also not due for a week and it’ll probably be a good idea to wait until after I get the training for this job type to take them bc that’ll help reinforce what I should already know and/or teach me some things I didn’t know or wasn’t sure of that these tests might ask about. but also they’re gonna haunt me until I do ‘em

side note the deadlines thus far have always been 11:59pm on Saturday (I’ve said I’m not available on Saturdays and while I could technically work Saturday nights, who’d WANT to? What it really ends up meaning is I gotta get all my Saturday shit done on Friday) or 11:59pm Sunday, so Monday and Tuesday are basically my weekend.  and given this week I mean I guess it’s better that fucking Everything goes wrong on the days I’m not busy but it also means I didn’t really get a break.  Which is again part of why I’m taking today off

I’m kinda complaining a lot but I do actually like this job significantly more than the bakery, it’s mostly just getting used to going from baby training amounts of work to suddenly 3-4 jobs a week

also how tf am I supposed to discreetly check out cigarette prices at Walmart. they’re always in one checkout lane behind the cashier and I mean it’s probably not always open so I could go when no one’s working it but. There’s no guarantee that’ll happen while I’m working and it’d still look pretty sus.         then again I once spent like 10 minutes just staring at one of the little gum displays by one of the many, many closed checkout lanes so.    At least no one bothered me while I was trying to look like a bewildered boyfriend when I had to go get tampon/pad prices.

that said I’m definitely giving off Retail Worker Vibes™ because like 4-5 people have come up to me for help and I mean obviously I help them if I can but like. Do I Look Like I’m Wearing A Blue Employee Vest. (no)

also also I finally got wireless earbuds so try and drown out the incessant Walmart radio blaring Christmas songs, but I really need to download more of my playlists bc my Chanukah one is already starting to get kinda stale and it ain’t a short playlist              at least by my standards, idk how long most people’s playlists are but this one’s got 90 songs and maybe I’ll add a few more as people start making more for this year

#job stuff

[onrainynights]

journal entry. June 26th 2023. this is what I'm glad to leave behind this year. (cw self harm and suicidal ideation)

I've been having a hard time over the past few weeks. despite having down time on the weekends, I find myself feeling similarly to back in middle and high school—dreading the next morning, pretending it's not going to happen, etc. On Friday I had a really bad meltdown at work and hurt myself. it was really dark. I thought I broke my hand. I found myself in a state of thinking the pain was good, that I needed it to stay composed, and would hit my hand hard again whenever I felt the pain—and my composure—fading. at one point I thought that if I'd had a knife, I would've stabbed myself with it.

mom didn't seem to care. she blamed me for it. it just made me feel worse. I needed this weekend to emotionally reset, and physically heal a bit, but now I just feel raw and horrible and like I'm back in 8th grade. a month ago I almost looked forward to work each day. now it's a nightmare. nobody prepared me for what it would become and now they're blaming me for being blindsided by it. part of me wants to just keep going out of spite, but another part doesn't know how I'm gonna eat lunch at his house every day and pretend like nothing is wrong. I think I'll take my lunch in the shop, at least for a little while. I don't think it's wise for me to force myself into social situations if it's not necessary. I'll need the time away from people to calm down.

I finally see the appeal of self-harm. it scares the shit out of me but it also made me feel so much better. the physical pain was like an emotional painkiller. not sure how that works, but it did.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to listen to music and podcasts tomorrow like nothing is wrong. what if roger wants to train me tomorrow. fuck. I don't wanna talk to him. I think I'd stutter if I tried.

I wish people didn't have to know me. I wanna be a stranger to everyone, always. I never wanna meet new people ever again. god. I was happy. I was so happy but it never lasts and now I'm worse than I've been in a while. I hate when I get back to this place. I wish people understood me. I wish I had something concrete I could point to as a reason why. but I don't. wish I could just break both my legs and be bedridden for months. I need therapy. but I don't have health insurance and I definitely can't afford to pay for therapy out of pocket. let alone actually get to appointments. teletherapy is still a hard no. can't risk anyone overhearing. I'd talk about her eventually and someone would hear and my life would blow up and that's the worst-case scenario. worse than a brain tumor and 6 months to live.

at least it'll be over soon. the work stress I mean. at soonest, early August will calm things down. at the latest, the job ends in October or November. at least come 2024 I'll know I'm never coming back to this hellhole. I'd rather go back to retail for less pay than have a repeat of the last week. and I don't know if worse is yet to come

maybe I'm being a bit superstitious but I don't think I'll ever say "I will" again when someone tells me to have a good day. it just seemed to backfire.

can't end the day disappointed if you don't start it with expectations of anything

The day is the day, can't be bad or good or nothing. It just is.

I wanna sleep for a year. I wanna not die but not live through what's coming for me. I feel like I did so long ago and I hate it. I hate this. Someone give me some god damn antidepressants or something. Everyone in this fucking family is medicated and therapized except for me, why am I the exception? why do I have to fend for myself when nobody ever taught me how? I think id be more stable if I was homeless. at least then I'd know never to expect anything good

And there it is again, the urge to run away. seems like the happy medium until I remember my family would worry and I'd have to get rid of my phone, and I'd have shit food, and who would take care of Henry if I was gone? nobody. and I couldn't take him with me.

I'd miss him and Bella to much

They're the reasons why I haven't done it yet

I think I'd have killed myself if not for that cat or that girl. he'd die without me, and my heart breaks at the thought of never seeing her grow up, of her never really knowing me. wouldn't even have a memory.

but how am I supposed to endure this? just the thought of going back makes me want to destroy myself. makes me want to be invisible again. I was invisible once. nobody knew or cared who I was or what I thought or what I could do. I was one of hundreds, unimportant, like a little ant in a whole colony. and here I am now just holding on to these routines I've built myself, tracks for my trolley to run on, grooves carved carefully and deliberately over time until they're so deep I can't climb out of them unless pulled out by something external—and when a vulture grips my shoulders and tumbles me out I can do nothing but watch and lash out but there's no one to hurt but myself, the vulture is gone, and I am broken by my own hand. I look ahead to my grooves and they've been destroyed, washed away by my tears, and I am starting over because I have no other choice. but my grooves are gone and so I don't know where to go or what to do. how did I make those grooves in the first place? what did I use? I used this shovel, I think, but I can't find it now. the vulture took it. I am back on flat ground where I began and I am lost. the vulture wants me to follow him, to fly, but I can't make new grooves in the sky. I need grooves. I need grooves. trolleys aren't supposed to fly. they'd crash and break and take people down with them. I'm not afraid. I just know better. I walk in a direction, I don't think it's the same one as before. I don't recognize that tree. but I keep walking until I'm back where I started. and then I keep going, tracing over my own footprints. and again. and again. and again and again and again again again again again and I walk in the grooves and I push my trolley with everything I need and everyone I love and it's ok, finally okay.

and then I remember the vulture.

#tw self harm #tw suicide #for context I wrote this after the worst public meltdown I've ever had. it resulted from my boss criticizing my work routine which #he previously allowed me to develop and had no complaints about. he forced me to completely abandon my routine #and I had to create a new one completely from scratch during the busiest month of the season #I did end up staying out of spite #but this specific experience was horrible and made me feel some pretty nasty things #ok to rb if u want lol

[acidicstars28]

I'm seriously starting to hate the holidays.

WARNING LONG Long Story: My selfish ass mother gave my twin sister and I, Covid a week before our birthday and Christmas. She got Covid going to a Christmas party with like 40 of her trashy ass always intoxicated friends. She refused to isolate in her room and refused to wear a mask in public areas of the house after she tested positive, even though it's not her fucking house. She literally basically freeloads off my 87 year old grandfather and has for as long as I have been alive which is 31 years as of the 23rd. Any way... my sister recently had to move back in with my mom and grandpa, because her dirt bag partner of 10 years cheated on her with a coworker and they have to sell their house. So I went over there last Saturday to bake Christmas cookies with my sister to try and cheer her up and I'm suprised to see my mom there cause usually she's out drinking with her gross boyfriend on the weekends but you know it was noon so maybe she was leaving later. Fast forward to 9pm and my sister and I are just finishing up decorating the last batch of cookies. My husband made a cameo to pick me up and got roped into helping decorate and do dishes after he got out of work. So we finish cleanup and go home and then my sister texts me.

I SHIT YOU NOT, We're not even half way home when she texts saying "By the way, our mom JUST (like 5 to 15ish minutes after my husband and I left) told me she tested positive for Covid yesterday (friday), which is why she didn't go to her fucking boyfriends house. Now I am super confused and getting a bit angry at this because my mother sat around the house all fucking day, put her fingers and face near the food and the cookies we made, and GAVE to people, hovered in the kitchen and was just all up in our business all day, with no mask fully knowing she had Covid and not telling amyone. My grandfather didn't even know. She didn't care that two of her kids, one who is immunocompromised (me) and one who is literally 2 months out from a devestating break up (and now has to spend her first birthday and Christmas without a partner in 10 years alone in our childhood bedroom, isolating so she doesn't get my grandfather sick).

I can't even be with her because I have to isolate at home (immunocomp) by doctors orders. And I just feel so fucking angry and helpless because I can't be with my sister on days where she's going to really need me (and my husband, story for another time). Because my mom is a selfish bitch.

I mean she's always been a toxic narcissist but this just is a new fucking low even for her. No care in the world for me, for my sister or for my grandfather at all. BUUUTTT as long as she could spare her precious boyfriend who is in perfect physical health (and also ALREADY HAD FUCKING COVID) from getting sick it didn't matter.

😮‍💨 I now get to spend the third birthday in a row, practically alone because of her and her fucked decision. My husband has to work most of the day too, since you know retail 2 days before Christmas. Before that gets any judgement, he's masked up and testing every morning. His immune system is way better than mine and he doesn't even have a sniffle, the lucky bastard.

It is wrong of me to absolutley HATE my mother right now? Like my sister and I had a ton of plans for this weekend. She wanted to keep busy to keep her mind off the other things going on her life. And because the last 2 birthdays we've had sucked ass. She had covid 2 years ago and I was in the middle of a severe depressive spiral. And then last year we got hit with a fucking massive blizzard. But also now I have to miss a shit load of work 5 days before Christmas and I don't have any PTO left. I just feel like my mom and her shit has completely drained every thing, I have left in me for the year. Not to mention I am so sick that everything in the world sucks right now.

I feel bad for ranting, but also really needed to get that off my chest before I go nuclear on my mother through very angry texts. I would call and yell but I have no voice and my husband has been trying to get me to not immedietly chose violence all the time.

Ugh okay. I'm fucking done now. I hope your holidays are better than mine.

#toxic parents #fuck the holidays #trigger warning: toxic parents #this is just a rant #you don't have to read this #covid #pleasekillme #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing

[managementarea]

I literally despise old people. I cannot fucking stand them. The entitled generation that ruined the fucking planet and they have the BALLS to cut me in line at the grocery store and act like it's not their fault and they didn't fucking know what they were doing. I swear to God old man I'll break your fucking walker.

And then older family acts like they have literally ANYTHING OF VALUE to say. "Oh did you know a manager of a big lots store makes 54k a year! Isn't that a lot? It's crazy they're paying retail workers that much" NO actually it isn't a lot and they deserve more. That's about as much as I'm making right now and I can't find a house that isn't roached out for under $400k. "Your generation could learn a bit about working hard! You guys sure have it easier than I did!" Yeah ok I had two retail jobs for a year where I'd pull 65-70 hr weeks regularly, put myself thru a certification program, and worked "10 days on 4 days off" (more like 12 days on 2 days off) in a wastewater plant WITH NO FEMALE SHOWERS. I still can't afford a house, let alone the family that you're bothering me to create. If you want me to get married and have good Christian babies why don't you fucking pay for it? Huh? Since I can't afford jack fucking shit yet you want me to reach all these nuclear family "milestones" to be a "real adult". You guys are the ones with pensions and retirements and don't fucking tell me for one fucking minute that you were simply financially savvy.

#txt

[wonderloste]

I’M OFFICIALLY ON BREAK THANK GOD. dead ass at the start of my shift yesterday i went into the back freezer and cried at work, i need this 🥴

#some mean ass woman made me cry on christmas too cuz she went off on me while i was doing my job and i Broke #r i p all the ppl in line after her who had to coddle me cuz i couldn't even speak to them while helping them out #had to mime it #i'm putting in my two weeks after my break working retail ain't worth it #🥴 #y'all old people are so fucking mean to retail/service workers ... entitled #◟ ⋆ OOC › otome games are my thirteenth reason. #◟ ⋆ DELETE › you see there’s no real ending. #sorry i have had. a long weekend lmao. i'm gonna write today after a smol family get together ugh #maybe a little bit rn before i get ready