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soulmate-game · 3 years

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Maribat March 2021 @maribatmarch-2k21

Day 1: Found Family

“Ah! Bonjour!” A cheery voice called, as a short Eurasian girl bound over to the unfairly intimidating mob of tall people with sharp eyes. Chloe had called in a favor. “My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe told me that your tour guide cancelled at the last minute, so she blackmail—sorry, begged me to fill in for them. You are the Wayne’s, non?”

The one at the front of the group, clearly Bruce Wayne since Marinette didn’t live under a rock and had seen the man on several American news broadcasts before, nodded and cleared his throat. Man, was he intimidating. Even when he shot her a dazzling smile that was sure to blind Paparazzi with fake cheer. It was a nice smile, Marinette wasn’t about to deny. But it was empty. Distant. And Marinette wasn’t going to buy it for a second.

“Yes, that’s us. Mademoiselle Bourgeois mentioned she had asked a close friend of hers to take care of our tour.”

Marinette nodded again, clasping her hands behind her back. “I guarantee, you won’t miss anything the tour guide would have shown you. In fact, Chloe mentioned that you all were very curious about the now retired Parisian heroes, right? My former best friend ran the Ladyblog back when they were active. I am more than confident that I can answer any questions you have while we go through the city.”

A boy with a white streak in his hair rose his hand, as if he was in a class and needed to wait to be called on. Which, considering the sheer size of their family, Marinette was actually grateful for. But damn, this was another imposing figure. Slightly taller than even the six-foot-three-inches that Bruce Wayne owned, he was solidly built and rocked a brown leather jacket and ripped black jeans. Marinette smiled and nodded for him to speak.

“How old are you? Because I don’t know if twelve year olds are allowed to do guided tours,” there was an obvious tease in his voice, but there was also legitimate concern in his blue-green eyes. Marinette almost missed that concern amid her quickly building annoyance. She even felt her eyes twitch.

“I’m turning eighteen in a few months if you need to know, Monsieur,” she evened out the bite in her voice with an overly sweet smile. “And if you want to get lost and possibly pickpocketed in the busy streets of Paris, then please continue to make comments on my height. If not, we can begin our tour and you might even enjoy it.”

Several Wayne’s snickered at her comeback, one man in particular elbowing the white haired gentleman with a little too much glee. Even the stoic Bruce laughed softly, and a boy with enough bags under his eyes to make the airport jealous nearly fell over himself with his suppressed laughter.

The man himself just snorted, sending her a lopsided smirk that oddly radiated approval. It was almost as if she had passed some sort of test.

“My name’s Jason, Pixie. You already know B. The guy trying to break my ribs,” he pointedly shoved off the one who had elbowed him, “is Dick. He’s Bruce’s first adoptive casualty. The one that looks like a zombie is Tim, we might need to take a break to get him more coffee before he passes out halfway through. The one who hasn’t stopped glaring at you is Damian, the badass redhead is Barbara but we all call her Babs. The annoying blonde is Stephany, the other cool badass over there is Cass. She doesn’t talk much. And the one trying to pretend he doesn’t know us is Duke.”

Each member he introduced gave her a little wave or nod. Even Damian managed a short nod of acknowledgement before resuming his glare. He looked to be a couple years younger than her, so she just brushed it off as teenage drama.

“Alright then! It is very nice to meet you all. Now, Chloe did inform me that you guys are very multilingual, which is another reason she asked me instead of one of our other friends. If you ever need it, I obviously am fluent in both French and English. But added to that, I am fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin, Italian, and I know basic survival Japanese. I also know French Sign Language, though I’m not sure if that’s very useful for you unfortunately. If you ever need to communicate non-verbally, I will do my best to accommodate that. Now, I believe you guys were scheduled to start the tour with a visit to the Louvre, non? Right this way.”

As Marinette led the large group out of the Grand Paris, they didn’t bother taking time to admire the sights before asking questions.

“Have you ever met one of the heroes?” Dick, who might have been shorter than Jason and Bruce but was muscular enough to still inspire caution (and admiration), asked. His blue eyes seemingly stared right through Marinette as he continued; “If you’re almost eighteen, then they must have been active through a lot of your school career.”

Marinette smiled. “They did only retire last year,” she agreed with a nod. “Yes, I have met all of the Parisian heroes at least once,” she snorted at a stray thought. “In fact, I met Chat Noir quite a lot. You see, my old College was basically ground zero for a lot of akuma attacks. And by a lot, I mean a majority of them,” she shook her head before pausing to get everyone to cross a street. “After a while, Chat Noir started calling me ‘princess’ to make fun of how often he had to save me. He’s an annoying ass.”

Despite her words, everyone behind her could easily hear the fondness there. They all traded glances. What if this was a Lois and SuperMan situation? Regardless, they all had a suspicion that Marinette knew more about the heroes than she let on. Or, at least more about Chat Noir.

“When you say that your school was a hotspot for Akuma attacks,” Bruce spoke up cautiously, his Dad Senses going haywire. He didn’t like how nonchalantly she had said it— she was far too casual. Sure enough, he watched as the muscles between her shoulders stiffened slightly at the conversation change. “What do you mean? Surely it couldn’t have been that bad if the school is still around.”

Marinette sucked her teeth, grimacing. “The school is still there, yeah, but only because of Ladybug’s ability. You’ve heard about the Cure, right?” It was Tim who answered her;

“Yeah. It fixed the damage done during a fight, right?” He asked, tilting his head a little. Marinette ignored her brief thought that the gesture made him look like a curious puppy. She sighed.

“Yeah. But when they say damage, they mean everything. Injuries, collateral. Death,” she said the last example darkly, far too much weight behind the word for it to be meaningless. She heard Jason hiss in sympathy. “But there are good things. The Cure also erased anyone’s memories of dying besides the vague knowledge that it did happen, so there isn’t much trauma there to unpack. Not as much as there could have been anyway,” she assured them. “And I’m one of the lucky ones. I never died, and I was never Akumatized.”

“Hmph,” Damian’s voice cut through the brief silence that followed her admission. She looked back at him to see his sharp green eyes staring right into her. “You don’t honestly believe that’s lucky.” It wasn’t a question. Marinette clenched her jaw, turning around and ignoring him.

Because, no. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t lucky that she was the only one that remembered everything— all of the deaths, all of the Akumatizations, everything that others mercifully forgot. Since she lived through all of it, she remembered all of it. And survivor’s guilt is nothing to scoff at.

But she wasn’t about to reveal her trauma, or at the very least the full scope of it, to people she had just met and was leading on a tour.

“If you look to the left, you’ll see a statue that was made depicting Ladybug and Chat Noir back during the first years of their activity,” she suddenly told them, gesturing to the still-standing statue. Nobody missed the obvious topic change, but nobody commented on it either. Turns out the statue was something they had been looking forward to seeing in person, Tim even went up to take a few photos with his camera. Barbara took a few circles around the statue, easily pivoting her wheelchair around it as if she was trying to see every angle and imperfection possible. Marinette couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the sight.

“Your family are pretty big fans, huh?” She asked Cass and Duke, the only ones that had stayed back with her. Duke snorted, and Cass gave her a small grin.

“They like to keep up to date with all the heroes,” Duke answered with a shrug. “Since we’re so high profile, it isn’t weird for us to be saved by one here or there even when we’re away from Gotham.”

Marinette just gave him an odd look, furrowing her brows. “But the Miraculous team has been disbanded since HawkMoth was defeated,” she reminded them. “There’s no need for them to save anybody anymore.”

“Old habits,” Cass spoke up softly, her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes locked with Marinette’s. “Not easy to break.”

The smaller woman had a feeling that Cass wasn’t talking about her family’s habit of keeping up to date on heroes.

“Alright! We need to head to the next stop or we might not have time to see everything!”

The tour went pretty similarly. The walks between stops were pleasant, and filled with questions about the period of time where HawkMoth was active. Marinette wasn’t even the least bit surprised nor put off; everyone was curious about those years now that the tourism restriction was lifted and people could ask freely about it. Besides the many questions about the Heroes, Marinette found the group to be very pleasant company. They were polite, but also rowdy in a very endearing way. She caught a lot of inside jokes they had with each other, and a lot of good natured teasing and fighting. They even managed to rope her into it somehow, and she found herself snidely teasing Damian or casually threatening Tim with not allowing them a coffee break. She even got to ride on Jason’s shoulders for a bit after he made another comment on her height that she Did Not Appreciate. But the ride she got made it worth it.

But soon the sun was high in the sky, and it was about time for them to take a lunch break. They had all been walking for hours with only a few chances to rest, and honestly Marinette was impressed that none of them seemed too tired out by it.

“Alright,” she put her hands on her hips proudly. “Since some of you won’t stop whining about needing coffee or being hungry— Dick, don’t you dare buy anything from that vendor! I’m gonna lead you all to my parent’s bakery so we can have lunch and caffeinate all of you. And conveniently enough,” she smiled widely. “The bakery is right across the street from my old College! So you’ll be able to get a look at where the majority of Akuma attacks happened, and maybe I can tell you a few specific stories if you want,” she offered. There were a couple cheers (Tim and Dick) from the crowd and everyone seemed pretty pleased with the next step in their tour. Smiling, Marinette turned and began to lead them in the direction of her home.

Sirens blared, a fire truck zooming down the street next to them.

Headed in the same direction.

Marinette frowned, watching it go. “That’s weird. I hope everyone’s okay, whatever happened,” she mused idly. But as they kept going forward, the sirens didn’t get any softer. If anything, they started getting louder again after a while. Marinette was visibly concerned by then, her pace picking up. “This is my neighborhood,” she told the solemn group behind her. “I know everyone on this street—“ they rounded the corner, and Marinette stopped in her tracks. Her world ground to a halt.

There was the fire truck, stopped right in front of her bakery.

Which was completely ablaze.

A string of curses flew out of her mouth, the little Eurasian wasting no more time before sprinting towards the building. She could hear people yelling at her to wait, slow down, stop! But she ignored them. The only thing on her mind was that her home was on fire.

“Marinette! Wait!” Dick reached out to grab her arm, but like a snake Marinette easily slipped out of his grip and continued forward. Steph was next, deciding to just tackle Marinette— to no avail. The Parisian just shouldered the bigger woman off of her with pure adrenaline fueling her muscles, and everyone else knew by then that they could not stop her. The Wayne’s decided all they could do was jog behind Marinette, keeping her in sight as they tried to gauge the damage.

“The top floors don’t look like they have even been touched by the fire yet,” Tim whispered, though his eyes flew between the building and their tour guide. Marinette was speaking rapidly with a firefighter that wasn’t immediately busy, trying to get information. But before anyone could decipher what was said, Marinette tore a large strip off the bottom of her shirt and tied it in a hasty mask around her mouth.

“Wait!” Bruce was the first to realize what was happening, with his years of experience with self sacrificing children and their stupid stunts. But Marinette managed to kick him away before he could grab her, dashing into the inferno without paying any heed to the many protests that followed her.

The group of Gothamites could do nothing but watch the flaming building, then. If they went inside, it would only overcrowd a hazardous area. Minutes passed, and there was movement in the fire. Out of the doorway came Marinette and a firefighter, both having to work together to carry the body of a large man outside. The sight of the man made the Gotham family blink— he was as big as Bane! And that was nothing to scoff at. But despite his unusual size and muscle mass, the man had all the signs of being a normal civilian.

Marinette didn’t stop there. She ran back in. Coming out a lot more quickly this time with a barely conscious Asian woman— everyone saw the resemblance between her and this new woman immediately.

It had to be her mother.

“Shit,” Duke hissed. Nobody else could say a word. It wasn’t looking good, and this wasn’t a situation where random vigilantes showing up out of nowhere could actually help. Not this late into the fire. Bruce’s hands curled into fists.

The woman that everyone guessed was Marinette’s mother was suddenly struck by lucidity; she gasped and grabbed at Marinette’s hand without seeming to see who she was even talking to. A single word that none of the Waynes could hear left her throat, and judging by Marinette’s returning panic it hadn’t been good.

She rushed right back into the building, and came back out with the last firefighter who had been searching inside.

Marinette carried a child. She screamed out in panicked French;

“She’s not breathing! I need first aid now!”

That was their cue. The firefighters started their hoses, focusing on getting rid of the flames now that nobody was left inside the building. Bruce and Damian got to Marinette first, and this time she listened as they instructed her to set the child down. Damian, being smaller and having more hands-on medical knowledge, took charge of the resuscitation. Marinette sat there silently, eyes riveted to the small child— a girl.

But Marinette wasn’t reacting like a normal civilian to tragedy. She was eerily calm, eyes focused and barely concealing a terrible rage. She took over chest compressions when Damian started to lose momentum, not giving up.

But then the EMTs arrived, and it was only five minutes with the child hooked onto oxygen that the news arrived—

Marinette heard the monitors on the ambulance flatline before she even registered what people were trying to tell her. Manon. Manon was—

Marinette didn’t register Nadya Chammack at first. She was just another body in the quickly growing sea of them. That is, until she heard Nadya’s pained shriek. A mother who had just lost her baby girl.

“Perhaps we should head back,” Bruce offered softly, giving Marinette space but keeping a keen eye on her. He saw her begin to tremble, then shake. He was pretty sure he could hear the grinding of her teeth for a second before she went still. Just… all movement stopped, the tears that had been building just falling silently for a second before they ended.

And he recognized that carefully practiced emptiness in her bluebell eyes. The same emptiness he had seen in Damian’s eyes when he had first arrived at the Manor. The same emptiness he saw in Dick’s eyes in the days following his parent’s deaths.

The same emptiness he saw in the mirror, every time he had another nightmare about the day Jason had been taken from him, years ago.

Suddenly he could imagine all too well exactly what kind of strength she had to have, to avoid her negative emotions ever being used against her during Hawkmoth’s reign. Especially if she had constantly been dealing with her friends and family being Akumatized and/or dying on multiple occasions.

She didn’t even seem to have heard him. Bruce sighed.

“I called Chloe,” Barbara informed everyone solemnly, holding up her phone for emphasis. “She’ll be here in five.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Chloe hadn’t come alone. With her had been Adrien Agreste, former model when his father hadn’t been… well, in prison. Nowadays he was just a normal student who occasionally gave lectures on neglect and child abuse, and how to help children in those situations.

And, apparently, he was also Marinette’s closest friend. Even more so than Chloe. As soon as they arrived back at the Grand Paris, Chloe herded everyone up into her suite and she and Adrien surrounded Marinette with pillows and blankets. Adrien curled around Marinette like an affectionate cat, and Damien even swore he heard the guy purr at some point

“We should probably leave,” Bruce whispered to their hostess, who looked inbetween him and her friends for a moment before jerking her head towards the door.

“I wanna talk to you first,” Chloe whispered back. Once they all filed out into the hallway and the door was safely closed, Chloe took a breath. “First, I want to tell you that I got a call from the hospital. Marinette’s father is stable, but in a coma right now.”

“Is that the man who looked like he could bench press a car for fun?” Dick asked, earning a weak grin from the Bourgeois heiress.

“Yeah, that’s him. But…” Chloe’s face fell, and she looked around as if to double check nobody was eavesdropping. She still lowered her voice anyway. “Her mother, Sabine. She…” Chloe swallowed a lump in her throat, images of the extremely kind Chinese woman flashing through her mind without permission. “She didn’t make it.”

Several people took a sharp breath, acknowledging everything that had gone so wrong for Marinette on a day that had started so perfectly.

“The smoke?” Cass asked gently, but Chloe winced and shifted on her feet.

“No. They… there were rope marks on Sabine’s neck,” Chloe clenched her eyes shut at the admission. “Marinette’s dad might be big, but he’s not a fighter. Sabine, though… Sabine was. She was raised in a martial arts family back in China. I’ve seen Sabine take down five men at once, all twice her size,” Chloe kicked her lips, shaking her head in disbelief. “Somebody knew… somebody knew that the little Chinese woman was a threat but the big baker with tons of muscle was harmless.”

Nobody took that well. Not only had Marinette just lost her home and half of her family, but her father was in a coma and it had all been foul play.

“Okay,” Bruce nodded once the news had time to sink in. They could help with this; this was their specialty. They might have only known Marinette for six hours, but she had made a big impression. It wasn’t just anybody that could mesh with his family so seamlessly in that short span of time. “Is there anything else?”

“I want you to get temporary custody of her,” Chloe said it the way only Chloe Bourgeois could. With her back straight, chin high, and the tone of a woman who expected to be listened to or else she’d make life Hell for the person that didn’t take her seriously. Bruce could only blink.

“Can I ask for your reasoning?”

“Marinette has been closing herself off more and more over the years,” Chloe admitted. “Hawkmoth’s reign was hard on her. Only Adrien really knows everything she went through during those years. But even after the disbanding of the team, she hasn’t… she hasn’t allowed herself to get close to anybody new. That’s why I tricked her into doing your tour. She needed to socialize with new people, and if she wouldn’t do it herself then I had to pull some strings.”

A few eyebrows raised at the admission that Chloe had fully planned for Marinette to be their tour guide the whole time. It honestly seemed like the kind of well meaning manipulation that one of them would try to pull off.

“She likes you,” Chloe’s voice went soft again, showing how uncharacteristically serious she was about that fact. “She was comfortable enough to let you guys carry her back here. To let you try to help Manon. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it says a lot to me and Adrien. And… getting her away from Paris for a while is probably a good idea. She was planning to go to Gotham for university anyway.”

The Waynes traded glances before Bruce crosses his arms and asked some more questions first. Doesn’t Marinette have other family? Answer; only her grandmother, who travels all the time and nobody ever knows where she is until she shows up. Bruce agreed that Gina Dupain didn’t exactly seem like a good candidate for Marinette’s new guardian with that description. But finally, to none of his children's surprise, he did end up agreeing.

“But,” he held up a single finger. “We’ll Wait here in Paris for a week, so that she can try to salvage everything she can from her house and so we can get an idea on how her father is doing. There’s still a chance he’ll come out of his coma fairly quickly. And of course, we will only go through with this if Marinette agrees when we ask her tomorrow.”

Chloe agreed to those terms, looking like a weight had been lifted off of her.

Chloe never cut corners when taking care of her hive. And if that meant making sure that her brave soldier bee could move on to start a new hive, one that was better equipped to take care of her, then Chloe would do everything she could to help that move. And really; Chloe was far more resourceful and observant than people gave her credit for. The butts definitely matched, and Bruce Wayne was her last hope to get Marinette the support she needed. Outside of Adrien, anyway.

Chloe took a breath, watching the Waynes trickle off into their own rooms. Marinette was like the little sister she never wanted, but grew to love more than anything. Though, Chloe knew she really chose Marinette as her sister the same way they both chose Adrien as their brother. She just didn’t want to admit she was sentimental like that. But Chloe knew that someone like Marinette needed a bigger family. More support.

She could only hope that Marinette and the Waynes grew to become family for her like she and Adrien had. Kwami knew that Marinette needed all the help she could get for the foreseeable future.

“You did good, my Queen.”

“I know, Pollen. Now we just have to find out who dared hurt my hive.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Dude this took so long to write, but I’m actually really proud of it. Probably gonna take this Maribat March a little differently than last year, and make a few longer stories by connecting some of the prompts together. Maybe each week will be a full story? Idk I’ll figure it out. I know I’m behind but I’m working on it.

I tried to keep the angst out, but it found it’s way in here anyway. Oh well!

#mlb x dc #ml x dc #maribat #maribat march 2021 #Maribat March 2k21 #platonic brucinette #found family #day 1 #Maribat March #day 1 found family #I was a little late but oh well

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

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Heal my soul

Jiang Cheng is shaking so hard he is afraid he’ll fall clean off his sword, but he pushes on regardless, Nie Huaisang’s letter clenched in his hand.

It speaks of horrible things; qi deviations and damage so great that Nie Mingjue had to be put into a preserving coma, giving them time to assess the damage and decide if it was too great to heal or not.

Jiang Cheng grits his jaw when he remembers that passage. There is no damage that is too great to heal, especially not when it comes to his husband.

Jiang Cheng makes the fly to the Unclean Realm in record time, feeling faint and shaky once he steps off his sword and he isn’t entirely sure if it is because of his worry for Nie Mingjue or because he thoroughly exhausted himself.

It doesn’t matter either way; he is here and he will see his husband now.

“Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang wails as soon as he sees him and throws himself into Jiang Cheng’s arms.

Jiang Cheng is stunned, but he dutifully catches Nie Huaisang and then he holds him close for a moment.

“How is he?” he asks, voice low and Nie Huaisang’s sob is all the answer he needs.

Jiang Cheng’s heart sinks in his chest, but he tries to remind himself that Nie Mingjue isn’t dead; as long as he’s not dead, Jiang Cheng will be able to do something for him.

“Come,” Nie Huaisang eventually says and drags Jiang Cheng off to see Nie Mingjue. He was put on a bed, laying still and pale as Jiang Cheng has ever seen him and even though they haven’t been husbands long—barely longer than half a year at this point—Jiang Cheng knows enough to know that this is not natural.

Nie Mingjue never is this still.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and rushes to his side where he takes Nie Mingjue’s hand in his.

He immediately checks his meridians and he jerks back when he sees the damage the qi deviation did to his system.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng chokes out, horrified to see just how he has been hurt, but also filled with a strange feeling of pride, because anyone else would have succumbed to these injuries a long time ago.

That Nie Mingjue is still alive—that his people were able to put him into this preserving sleep at all—speaks to a strength Jiang Cheng didn’t think possible.

“How is it?” Nie Huaisang quietly asks him and Jiang Cheng lets out a harsh breath.

“I need to take him with me,” he says, carefully putting Nie Mingjue’s hand back onto the bed.

“What? No!” Nie Huaisang immediately says, and he flicks open his fan in a nervous gesture. “You can’t take da-ge,” he says again, more vehemently and Jiang Cheng levels him with a look.

“This is why you chose me as his spouse,” he lowly says, trying not to let that thought hurt him more than it already does. “To heal him. So let me.”

“Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang starts, but Jiang Cheng is not interested in hearing what he has to say for himself.

He knows damn well that the rumoured healing abilities of the Yunmeng Jiang are the only reason he even came up as a spouse and since this is all Nie Mingjue will ever want from him, he will damn well do his job.

“Huaisang, he comes with me,” Jiang Cheng says again, channelling his Sect Leader authority, and Nie Huaisang stills behind his fan.

“You came alone.”

“So prepare a carriage for us. You can even send that right hand man of his to keep an eye on me if it makes you feel better. I’ll accommodate him, too,” Jiang Cheng says and he feels sick that he even has to bargain with Nie Huaisang like that.

Nie Mingjue’s life is on the line; there shouldn’t even be a question that they have to do everything they can to save him.

“It’s not—will he survive the travel?” Nie Huaisang asks, his voice small and low and Jiang Cheng realizes that it’s just the worry for his brother that makes him unreasonable.

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because he will make sure that Nie Mingjue does.

“Okay,” Nie Huaisang whispers and immediately leaves the room, presumably to make the necessary arrangements.

Jiang Cheng takes the opportunity to sit on Nie Mingjue’s bed again. He takes his hand back up and presses the back of it against his forehead, breaths deliberately deep and steady.

“Don’t do this to me,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “We didn’t even have our one year anniversary yet,” he goes on, even though he knows that this was always a possibility.

Nie Mingjue made no secret out of this; made no secret out of the fact that Jiang Cheng would be a very young widower.

Well, he clearly didn’t count on Jiang Cheng’s stubbornness.

The journey back to Lotus Pier is uneventful, though it drags on and on since they can’t rush it with their precious cargo.

Nie Zonghui keeps looking at Jiang Cheng as if he expects to make a move against Nie Mingjue at any moment now, and if Jiang Cheng wasn’t so worried, if he wasn’t so glad that Nie Mingjue had good people by his side like this, then he’d be pretty damn angry with even the implication that he would harm Nie Mingjue.

He’s not the one who married out of convenience after all.

When they finally reach Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng immediately brings Nie Mingjue into the special healing chamber his family used.

Jiang Cheng debated not rebuilding it with the rest of Lotus Pier at first, because mostly his mother used it whenever she suffered a qi deviation, and Jiang Cheng surprisingly isn’t prone to them himself. But in the end he decided to simply rebuild Lotus Pier as he used to know it; who knew when the chamber would come in handy.

And he is glad for it now, because it means that Nie Mingjue even has a fighting chance of recovering from this.

Jiang Cheng activates the healing array carved into the chamber and once he kicked everyone else out, he immediately goes to work.

He knows how to repair the damage done to Nie Mingjue’s meridians but it will take time; it will take a lot of time, Jiang Cheng realizes once he finished his first thorough examination of Nie Mingjue. The damage is almost irreversible and it will take weeks—if not months—to heal him.

But Jiang Cheng is up for that; there isn’t a thing he won’t do for those he loves and if it means he practically has to live in the chamber as well, then he will do it.

Except, of course, that isn’t how it goes because Jin Ling is still there, and he still needs his jiu-jiu more than anyone else, so of course Jiang Cheng can’t live in the chamber.

His Sect still needs guidance as well, even though they are pretty self-sufficient, and so Jiang Cheng limits himself to two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening by Nie Mingjue’s side. He squeezes in an hour during lunch as well whenever he can manage, but he isn’t happy with it at all.

It will take forever this way, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want Nie Mingjue to suffer more than he really has to. But he doesn’t trust anyone else with healing Nie Mingjue either, and so he grits his teeth and continues with his job.

It is only weeks in, that Jiang Cheng realizes that the qi deviation doesn’t have natural causes.

“What the fuck,” he mumbles as he brushed his qi over the same spot again and again, until he can coax the imprint of a song and some lingering residual qi out of Nie Mingjue’s body.

Jiang Cheng isn’t familiar with the qi, but he knows that there are only two people playing music for Nie Mingjue to help with the qi deviations and he feels hot rage bubble up inside of him when he realizes that one of Nie Mingjue’s sworn brothers must have done it. Or maybe even both.

Zidian sparks on his hand with that realisation and Jiang Cheng quickly removes his hand from Nie Mingjue, unwilling to hurt him even on accident.

But Jiang Cheng can’t be sure, because he doesn’t recognize the qi and so he calls for Nie Zonghui.

“What is it?” Nie Zonghui asks once he is inside the chamber and Jiang Cheng can see the worry clear on his face.

“Come here,” he orders and then he guides Nie Zonghui through the process that led him to uncover this.

“Do you recognize the qi?” he asks him once he is sure that Nie Zonghui understands the implications of what they just found but Nie Zonghui shakes his head.

“No, I don’t. Neither Zewu-jun nor Lianfang-zun allow people to sit in when they play for Mingjue. I always thought it was because they feared he would be distracted, but—”

“Maybe not,” Jiang Cheng finishes weakly and then he shakes his head.

“Who would know?”

“Huaisang,” Nie Zonghui says and Jiang Cheng’s brow raises with the familiar address until Nie Zonghui blushes faintly.

“I’ll write him,” Jiang Cheng finally says, unwilling to embarrassed Nie Zonghui any further and he leaves Nie Mingjue in the capable hands of his most trusted man.

Nie Huaisang arrives in Lotus Pier a few days later, the urgency of the letter clearly not lost on him.

“What is going on?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng leads him into the healing chamber without further explanation.

He guides Nie Huaisang through the same things he showed Nie Zonghui and when they reach the lingering qi, Nie Huaisang’s face darkens.

“San-ge,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng is filled with so much rage that his entire vision goes red.

Zidian sparks on his hand but Jiang Cheng forces himself to calm down. Jin Guangyao isn’t here; there’s no need to lose control like this.

“How do you even know something like this?” Nie Huaisang asks and while the attempt at a distraction is painfully obvious, it’s also painfully effective.

“My mother got qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng tells him, aiming for calm, but probably missing by a mile. “I was tasked with healing her, and the qi deviations weren’t always of a natural course. Not all of them stemmed from her temper; sometimes the faint imprint of my father’s uncaring words would linger behind in her meridians,” Jiang Cheng admits and speaking of his family like this doesn’t hurt as much as it probably should have.

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispers and Jiang Cheng awkwardly shrugs.

“It’s in the past.”

They sit in silence for a moment, before Nie Zonghui knocks to announce his arrival.

“Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun are here to see Mingjue,” he tells them and the rage rises in Jiang Cheng as if it never left in the first place.

“I will deal with them,” Nie Huaisang quickly says, eying the sparking Zidian with worry and Jiang Cheng reaches out for his sleeve.

“I want him dead,” Jiang Cheng says, because this is the only thing he can think right now.

Jin Guangyao is the reason Jiang Cheng almost became a widower; he is the reason Nie Huaisang has to lead a Sect he was never meant to lead. Jiang Cheng wants him to pay for that.

“I don’t care how you do it, but I want him dead.”

Nie Huaisang flicks his fan open to hide his calculating look but Jiang Cheng knows him better than that. They spent a year studying together and he has watched how effortlessly Nie Huaisang took over as Sect Leader.

He is by far not as innocent as he seems.

“He will be,” is all Nie Huaisang eventually says and then he leaves Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue behind.

Jiang Cheng is definitely looking forward to Jin Guangyao’s eventual demise.

~*~*~

“Jiu-jiu, why are you always in that one room?” Jin Ling asks him one day during lunch and Jiang Cheng figures that he should maybe tell his nephew that his husband is in there.

“I will show you,” he promises him and Jin Ling immediately bounces in his seat with excitement.

He does take Jin Ling there after lunch, but before they enter the chamber he stops him with a hand to his shoulder.

“Nie Mingjue is in there,” he explains and Jin Ling hangs on to his every word with big eyes. “He’s my husband, even though you might not really remember that. He’s been hurt and he is sleeping for now. You have to be quiet and careful with him,” Jiang Cheng instructs Jin Ling, who immediately calms down.

“I remember that,” Jin Ling says, clearly proud of himself for that and Jiang Cheng smiles slightly.

Jin Ling just turned five so while he might remember that Jiang Cheng is married, Jiang Cheng is sure that he doesn’t understand quite just what being married means.

“Good boy,” he still praises Jin Ling and then he pushes the door open to reveal Nie Mingjue, who is still sleeping but looking better by the day.

“He’s so huge,” Jin Ling whispers and then slaps a hand over his mouth, carefully looking up at Jiang Cheng.

“He is,” he agrees with a slight smile and imagines how imposing Nie Mingjue must look to someone as small as Jin Ling.

“Why is he sleeping in here?” Jin Ling asks and Jiang Cheng picks him up to settle him on his lap as he sits down next to Nie Mingjue.

“Because he is hurt and this chamber helps him heal,” Jiang Cheng explains and he goes a little bit misty eyed when Jin Ling reaches out to pet Nie Mingjue’s hand.

“Yifu has to wake up soon,” he whispers, deliberately keeping his eyes on Nie Mingjue. “Jiu-jiu has been sad without you.”

“A-Ling,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and presses Jin Ling closer to his chest, pressing a kiss to his head.

“Jiu-jiu, too strong,” Jin Ling complaints and Jiang Cheng immediately loosens his arms, but he doesn’t let him go completely, and Jin Ling doesn’t wriggle out of his embrace.

“Listen, you have to talk to him,” Jin Ling suddenly says and looks up at Jiang Cheng. “He’s just laying there, it’s so boring! You have to tell him about your day!”

Jiang Cheng chuckles slightly, because even though it’s a healing sleep and Nie Mingjue is unlikely to hear anything that is being said to him, that’s exactly what Jiang Cheng has been doing for a while now.

“Why don’t you tell him something, for a change? I’m sure he’s tired of hearing my voice by now,” Jiang Cheng gently encourages Jin Ling who pouts up at him.

“Not true, jiu-jiu’s voice is the best,” Jin Ling declares, but then he does dive right into a recollection of his past week at Lotus Pier.

Jiang Cheng knows most of it already, of course, but he’s happy to stay and listen to Jin Ling blabber away.

He tries not to think about the fact that being with the two people he loves the most is strangely comforting, because Nie Mingjue is still unconscious and hurt after all, but it’s exactly what he’s thinking about.

Jiang Cheng can’t even be mad at himself for that.

~*~*~

Nie Mingjue wakes up four months after his qi deviation.

Jiang Cheng isn’t around to see it, but Nie Zonghui immediately calls for him once it happens, so at least Jiang Cheng has some time to steel himself to come face to face with Nie Mingjue.

He is still in the chamber when Jiang Cheng comes to see him, clearly too weak to immediately walk somewhere else, but he’s sitting up and he looks healthy and that is really all Jiang Cheng ever wanted for him.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue greets him and Jiang Cheng bows slightly to him. “None of that,” Nie Mingjue chastises him and beckons him closer. “I hear my recovery is thanks to you,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile and Jiang Cheng nods, unsure what he’s supposed to say to that.

It was a lot easier to talk to Nie Mingjue when he was still sleeping, Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking and then immediately afterwards he wants to kick himself.

Nothing is better than having Nie Mingjue being awake and obviously healthy again.

“I only did my duty,” Jiang Cheng presses out and bows his head towards Nie Mingjue again. “I already wrote to Huaisang, he will no doubt be coming soon to take you back to Qinghe,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say, because he knows that this is what Nie Mingjue wants.

He never did well with being apart from his Sect, and he must be anxious to get back to it.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and even without looking up Jiang Cheng can tell that there’s a frown on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You must be anxious to go home,” Jiang Cheng says, without meeting Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

“Aren’t I home?” Nie Mingjue asks and it’s so surprising that it startles Jiang Cheng into looking at him. “You’re my husband, are you not? Doesn’t that make Lotus Pier my home, too?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and while it’s everything that Jiang Cheng ever wanted to hear, he shakes his head.

“Please,” he almost scoffs out. “We both know this marriage isn’t about that.”

“What is this marriage about then?” Nie Mingjue asks and he sounds honestly curious.

Jiang Cheng can’t even find it in him to hate Nie Mingjue a little bit for making Jiang Cheng say it.

“About this,” he says with a gesture to the room. “I’m pretty sure Nie Huaisang only brought up my name back then because of this. Because I could probably heal you if something should go wrong. And I did, so I guess I served my purpose,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says.

There’s a long moment of silence before Nie Mingjue speaks again and it makes Jiang Cheng uneasy.

“This is not why I married you,” Nie Mingjue eventually speaks up, his voice low and soft and Jiang Cheng can’t help the snort that comes out at that.

Of course it’s why Nie Mingjue married him. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why he is so intent on pretending anything else now.

“It was the reason your name first came up, that’s right,” Nie Mingjue goes on, and Jiang Cheng’s heart drops right to the floor at hearing his fears confirmed. “But it’s not why I agreed to marry you in the end.”

“Right,” Jiang Cheng huffs out. “What are the reasons then?” he demands to know, his voice bitter and angry but when he looks at Nie Mingjue he deflates.

The look on Nie Mingjue’s face is entirely too soft for Jiang Cheng to take.

“I married you because you’re strong and fierce. Because you love with your whole heart and you would die to protect those you love. I married you because you’re beautiful and sharp and one of the strongest Sect Leader I know. Yes, your name first came up because of your healing abilities; but I would have never married you out of such selfish reasons,” Nie Mingjue says. “I married you because I wanted to. Because I fell in love with you.”

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and he inexplicably feels like crying.

“Why did you marry me? If you think I only married you because of what you can do for me, then why did you agree?” Nie Mingjue asks him and Jiang Cheng blushes.

“I’m not good with words,” he mumbles, anxiously turning Zidian on his finger. “I can’t give you a half dozen reasons why I married you.”

“Just give me one,” Nie Mingjue whispers and reaches out to take Jiang Cheng’s hand in his. “Just give me one reason.”

“Because I’m in love with you,” Jiang Cheng admits, even though his face feels like it’s going to go up in flames.

There are a dozen different things he could say about Nie Mingjue and why he first caught his eye and how he managed to keep it, but Jiang Cheng’s throat closes up just thinking about saying them out loud.

When Nie Mingjue raises the hand he just took to press a kiss to the back of it, Jiang Cheng thinks that maybe he doesn’t have to say them all right now for Nie Mingjue to understand.

“I’m not going back yet,” Nie Mingjue tells him once Jiang Cheng feels like he can breathe again and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng look at Nie Mingjue again.

“What?”

“I have to recuperate and I would like to do it here,” Nie Mingjue says with a small shrug. “I am aware that the first few months of our marriage weren’t all that perfect, but this might be our chance. I hear Huaisang is doing pretty well as Sect Leader; let him lead for a while longer. I think I deserve a break after what happened.”

The truth about the qi deviation is on the tip of Jiang Cheng’s tongue, but in the end he doesn’t say anything. He decides to wait for Nie Huaisang, who will be better at explaining than Jiang Cheng is, but deep down Jiang Cheng knows that it’s just out of a selfish desire to not shatter the moment right now.

“I would like that,” Jiang Cheng whispers and when Nie Mingjue tugs on his hand to bring him closer, Jiang Cheng easily follows.

“And I distantly remember someone calling me yifu,” Nie Mingjue mutters and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head as he tucks him into his side. “Did I dream that?”

“No, you didn’t,” Jiang Cheng says with a slight chuckle, because ever since he took Jin Ling here for the first time, the boy has made it a point to come at least every other day to talk to Nie Mingjue about his day.

“I’d like to hear it in person,” Nie Mingjue admits and Jiang Cheng smiles down at their still intertwined hands.

“There’s nothing that will stop him from saying it again once he hears you’re awake,” Jiang Cheng says, because he knows his nephew and Jin Ling will be so excited to hear that Nie Mingjue is awake.

Nie Mingjue sighs at that and Jiang Cheng cranes his head to look at him worriedly.

“I’m sorry about how the first few months of our marriage went,” Nie Mingjue says and brushes his lips over Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he promises.

“You’re in luck,” Jiang Cheng says with a slight smile and a faint blush. “You woke up in time for your one year anniversary.”

A sparkle enters Nie Mingjue’s eyes at that and Jiang Cheng briefly wonders what he got himself into, but then Nie Mingjue presses a whispered “Good,” right into Jiang Cheng lips and every and any thought flees his head.

If this is how Nie Mingjue is going to make it up to him, then Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind that at all.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #hurt/comfort #fluff #married couple #misunderstandings #love confessions

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tearlessrain · 3 years

Text

Giant Masterlist of Cathar Facts (that I completely made up but nonetheless rigidly adhere to)

I am an unstoppable force and disney should have killed me when they had the chance (that chance was splash mountain when I was seven and as you can see I survived).

Under a break because it is way too long and covers really quite a lot, much of which I will probably never even need. But researching and writing this kind of thing is what I consider a fun afternoon so here we are.

General basic stuff

Cathar are basically felids evolved to fill a similar evolutionary niche to humans in the absence of any viable apelike species on their native planet, in the same way hyenas evolved to fill a niche normally occupied by canids.

They are pursuit predators but not terribly efficient ones outside their home planet. In terms of both speed and strength they can outperform humans on average in the short term, but have noticeably less stamina especially when it comes to running or walking long distances. They greatly outmatch any quadrupedal felids for stamina, however. (Mandalorians are an invasive species)

They run hotter than humans, around 100-102F.

Though height varies quite a bit, cathar are taller on average than humans and build muscle easily, making them extremely formiddable opponents in hand-to-hand combat.

The average face/skull shape of cathar is largely based on assumptions that they evolved under weirdly similar conditions to humans evolving from early hominids, aka shortening of the face, larger cranium, smaller mouth, etc.

While they are obligate carnivores and do have elongated canines, their teeth are more even in size than wild felids, and while they do still have barbed tongues, the barbs are relatively small/soft and more similar to a housecat than anything of comparable size (aka they won’t literally take your skin off if they lick you). They also have somewhat thinner skin than wild cats, though they are still more damage resistant than humans.

They do not have retractable claws because that’s not how fingers work, but they do have narrow, naturally pointed claws rather than humanlike fingernails. Many cathar choose to either dull them or file them down for convenience, but losing/damaging them, as per that one ambient dialogue on Dromund Kaas that I can never find when I need it, is extremely traumatic for them.

They have tails because I want them to, used for both balance and communication. Cathar tails are approximately lion-like, thin with a coarse tuft at the end regardless of markings (ie. a cathar with stripes won’t have a tiger tail), with the tip the same shade or a few shades darker than the darkest part of their coats. occasionally those from colder regions will have longer fur over the whole tail, or look like they don’t have a tuft due to longer fur overall.

Variation and a lot of bullshitting about genetics

Wookiepedia describes Cathar as “a planet of savannas and rough uplands” but I refuse to believe that all these habitable worlds are all one consistent climate/temperature across the whole globe. The weirdly ubiquitous infrastructure/cultural info I can kind of forgive since 90% of them were wiped out by Mandalorians and the rest left, and I’m charitably assuming there were a lot less than 7 billion cathar to begin with, so a lot of smaller or more isolated cultures across the planet were lost entirely.

They have less sexual dimorphism than SWTOR implies, though females are a little smaller on average and tend to have shorter/finer manes that are closer to their base color. In terms of relative strength/mass the difference is minor and female cathar are still very capable of fucking you up (the conventional assumption in the Empire that females are weak/docile and males are too uncontrollable to enslave is not remotely true in either direction).

Variation in fur/metabolism/ear and nose shape depends on which region/s of Cathar they come from (or their ancestors come from), but they don’t recognize different “races” the way humans do, particularly in the wake of the Battle of Cathar.

On average, cathar originating closer to the equator have shorter, finer fur, larger and more tapered ears, a tendency toward slender, lanky builds, and coloration that leans more toward golds/reds and higher pigment density. whereas those closer to the poles are much stockier and can be extremely fluffy, sometimes with an undercoat, with paler colors and less vivid/extensive markings. None of the above is universally true and cathar didn’t necessarily always stay in the region where their ancestors come from (and thus sometimes you get people like Riska, who is all limbs but has fairly northern features and entirely too much fur)

Cathar mostly left their planet in groups, so in some parts of the galaxy you’ll run into whole colonies that originate mostly from one part of the planet and have distinct appearances/cultural idiosyncrasies from other colonies.

They mainly follow the same general rules that apply to most felids in terms of coloration/pattern.

Markings can be stripes, spots, or less commonly rosettes (definitely some version of Taqpep variants) and mostly lie along Blaschko’s Lines, though it’s more obvious on some individuals than others and it isn’t always perfectly precise. Even spotted individuals usually display some striping on the tail and around the eyes, though not always.

“Default” coloration is black-based, with dark markings on a greyish or brownish base.

Countershading falls pretty much along patterns you’d expect and usually lightens the chest/stomach, lower face, palms/soles, and inner thighs. Specific distribution and patterns vary quite a bit, and sometimes express in odd ways (hence whatever is going on with Khatte). Darkest points tend to be the tail tip, nose bridge, and mane.

Genetically solid cathar are incredibly uncommon; much more common are genes that affect the appearance/distribution of markings, sometimes rendering them almost invisible. Even ones who appear mostly solid (aka Khatte) usually still have some faint striping around the face and/or tail.

Khatte is basically some loose equivalent of ticked tabby, which mostly just looks like weird countershading but leaves some faint striping on his face and tail.

Jial-ro’s coloration is the result of a gene that suppresses all eumelanin production, and a sepia-like form of partial albinism.

Riska has something similar, along with something that reduces the size/spread of spots.

Food

They’re mainly carnivorous and have different nutritional requirements from humans (similar but not identical to those of a cat), which can be a problem in places like the military where standardized rations are the norm. In the Republic a cathar can usually put in a request for rations designed to accommodate carnivores (or supplements, failing that), though they might have some trouble on more isolated or undersupplied planets. The rare cathar in the Imperial military have to procure supplements out of pocket, though it’s technically possible to get reimbursed for it if they’re willing to wade through the bureaucracy.

Cathar are perfectly capable of eating raw meat with few to no ill effects, and have a subgenre of cuisine centered around it (and while they didn’t invent sushi, they have enthusiastically embraced the concept). They also have plenty of ways of cooking meat and readily adopt any new ones they come across.

Their “natural” diet apart from meat mainly consists of fruit, root vegetables, and eggs, though the closer to the poles you get the less likely you are to encounter fruit in a dish. Cathar never cultivated grain and it holds no meaningful nutritional value for them, so bread, rice, and similar products simply do not appear in traditional cuisine. This does not stop some of them from eating grain products in small amounts, as they can still enjoy the taste, but it isn’t any healthier than processed sugar is to humans and they have a high rate of gluten intolerance as a species.

All cathar have a heightened and refined ability to detect savory/umami type flavors, but around 30-40% of cathar, and the vast majority of those from colder regions, have no taste receptors for sweetness at all. This has resulted in the cathar equivalent of the Cilantro Debate centering around desserts, even though they’re all perfectly aware that it’s genetic, and some who can’t taste sweetness still enjoy some desserts for the other flavors present. Those who do have sweet taste receptors are about as sensitive to it as humans, but it tends not to have the same addictive quality for them and a lot of them don’t like processed sugars in anything but small doses. They would appreciate a lightly sweet creme brulee but most of them would find soda absolutely disgusting.

Citrus is right out.

They suffer no more ill effects than humans from drinking alcohol, and due to generally having a fair amount of mass they can usually drink a lot of it.

Social minutiae

They use a fair amount of feline body language, particularly with others of their own species. While facial expressions play a part and they do smile, scowl, and generally express broad emotions, they have a reduced range of facial mobility compared to more humanoid species and no eyebrows to speak of, which leads to a lot of them having what humans perceive as resting bitchface. It also results in humans underestimating the range and depth of their emotions, and can be a problem in the medical field with human medics/doctors who haven’t been trained to work with less humanoid aliens and won’t necessarily recognize severe pain or distress.

Their ears are less articulated than a cat’s but still have some degree of mobility that serves more of a social function than a practical one. They also express a lot of emotion through their tails, to the point that it can be a detriment in some situations if they haven’t practiced consciously keeping control of it.

Bumping foreheads is a common way to express platonic/familial affection, or can be the equivalent of a chaste kiss between partners. They also squint and slow blink, though it doesn’t always translate clearly to other species.

They have a wider range of vocalization than humans; while their voices are often humanlike and they’re just as capable of articulate speech, they can also growl, purr, and make sounds outside human hearing range. Those raised among humans or near-humans tend to do this less, if at all, while cathar raised in more insular communities of their own kind can come off as very taciturn due to heavier reliance on nonverbal communication.

Sense of smell is much stronger and more refined than a human’s and plays a more significant role in how they perceive and navigate the galaxy. They can occasionally be mistaken for Force-sensitive by humans due to their knack for picking up on emotional distress or the presence of particular species/people by scent. This is more true with people they’re familiar with; they won’t pick out distinct members of the other species by default but will eventually be fairly reliable in identifying the scent of a friend or anyone else they spend a lot of time around.

The exception to the above is other cathar, who they can easily tell apart on an individual basis. They have scent glands around the jaw/neck that come into play for identification, conveying broad emotional states, in some situations can aid medical diagnoses, among other things. They also play a part in building connection and familiarity between friends, family, or romantic partners.

The ~horny section~

Cathar don’t really kiss the way humans do by default, but they can, and usually do so unless they’ve somehow had no contact with any near-human species at all. Their equivalent is gentle biting around the neck and jaw, which is another situations where the scent glands are relevant, and when aroused that whole area becomes an erogenous zone for the vast majority of cathar.

Plenty of humans (particularly if they don’t encounter a lot of aliens day to day) will avoid kissing cathar anyway because they have sandpaper tongues and dry mouths and fangs, and it feels fucking weird if you aren’t prepared for that.

They tend to be very bitey in general unless specifically asked not to. It only becomes a problem if the cathar in question is inexperienced with humanoids and hasn’t figured out how much bite force is acceptable for a species with thinner, more sensitive skin.

Their dicks are fairly humanoid in size and shape, though somewhat more conical at the head, but they do have a sheath rather than a foreskin. after maturity they don’t actually retract into the sheath more than about two inches when flaccid, and tend to be slightly less sensitive than the average human (same keritinization factor that affects circumcised humans). It also makes them more vulnerable to damage, but since it’s customary to wear pants on most civilized planets, that never really becomes a problem in the course of a normal day. The base of the shaft that’s usually covered has noticeably higher sensitivity. There are probably individual exceptions to most of the above.

Conventional understanding is that cathar don’t have barbs, which is true the vast majority of the time, though about 60% of them have some amount of vestigial non-keratinous bumps over their head that have no noticeable affect on anything aside from occasional increased sensitivity in that area. Rarely an individual might develop a few actual barbs at the onset of puberty, but they have no practical function and pose a risk of discomfort and injury, and can easily be removed via a fast and mostly painless medical procedure, so the number of adults who have them is close to zero.

Females do have (mild, easy to suppress if desired, and mainly not at all disruptive) heat cycles. Other cathar can generally tell by scent, but not to a distracting degree, and it’s considered rude and inappropriate to point it out with anyone but a close friend or partner. It should go without saying that males don’t have heat cycles, but I’ve gotten enough weird DMs about this to know that I need to say it. Unless said male is trans, and not on any sort of HRT, that’s not how that works.

They kind of have breasts but unless actively nursing they’re barely noticeable if at all, especially under clothing. Cathar have much fewer hangups about going topless regardless of gender than certain human cultures do.

#cathar #swtor #long post

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blackstonesandtrapnest · 4 years

Note

Ma’am MA’AM those yasu headcanons slayed me. I was 🥺🥺 in awe afterwards. Thank you for writing them!!!! By any chance would you be willing to write some for Shin too? 👁 sfw + nsfw, if you’re comfortable with it ahajsjdjddjd

Awww thank you for the kind words Anon! Yes I will definitely write for Shin! Such a gorgeous boy isn’t he? :) Also Shin is indeed aged up for reasons that should be obvious! Also NSFW under the cut!

~~SFW~~

Shin honestly doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. He’s self-destructive to the point of self-sabotage and his self-esteem and self-worth have been shot to hell quite frankly. Pursuing a relationship with Shin outright is ill-advised as you are definitely gonna get rejected.

Shin may be young but he’s not stupid. If you have any ulterior motives, keep it moving because Shin won’t go any further than a fuck-buddy relationship with you. He’s already used to women simply using him for his body and you’re not gonna fool him.

Shin doesn’t let people get close to him and he’s quite secretive. You’ll only find out what he wants you to find out. Don’t bother snooping as that’ll only make Shin angry and far less likely to open to you. Mind your own business and don’t be a snitch!

Needless to say, getting into a relationship with Shin will definitely be slow-burn. Emphasis on the word slow. If you want Shin to trust and open up to you, you’ll have to prove yourself to him and show that you genuinely care about him. Even then, there are probably still some things that Shin will probably never open up to you about and you’ll just have to accept that.

Once Shin feels like he can truly trust and love you, he’ll shower you with so much affection and it’s so adorable! He has a great need for security so expect a lot of hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation! No Shin doesn’t care who’s watching and if he’s being teased, he’ll pull a Reverse Uno on them to shut them up.

Shin’s need for security does extend to money which is the main source for how ambitious he is. He’s used to being spoiled so buying gifts for him doesn’t really do much for your relationship. He doesn’t mind when you do things for him and definitely appreciates it but it’s not the way to his heart. That being said, Shin will definitely support you in your own ambitions and if they happen to fall within the music industry, that’s even better! He’ll have your back no matter what!

Shin is very rebellious and does NOT like people telling him what to do or trying to enforce rules on him. He does what he wants when he wants. If you’re the kind of person who prefers being dominate in your relationship, you’ll definitely have a rude awakening with Shin. He can be quite a little shithead at times so you two will definitely have many arguments regardless. Making up can take a while because Shin will definitely hold a grudge against you. At this point, it’s best to just give him space so you can both cool off and try to resolve things.

Shin is quite possessive and wants all or nothing from you. He’ll put 100% effort into your relationship and wants the same from you in return. Shin isn’t worried about anyone taking you away from him but if he is feeling insecure, you’re gonna know about it without a doubt. He doesn’t contemplate and immediately goes in head-first when there’s a problem with you two. If someone is trying to get in between you two or simply be nosy, they’re gonna face Shin’s wrath and it won’t be pretty.

Shin is quite a wild person and loves taking risks as well as trying his luck. Perfect for a daredevil and someone who simply loves to let loose and have a good time! Speaking of which..........

~~NSFW~~

There’s a difference between having sex for money and having sex for pleasure which Shin has come to realize. With you, Shin wants nothing but pleasure, passion, and intimacy. Because of this, he’ll actually be a bit reluctant to have sex with you the first time around. He doesn’t want a simple fuck this time around and if it’ll be your first time having sex in general, Shin wants it to be special and unforgettable.

The minute you two start having sex, Shin considers your relationship official but he won’t stop prostituting either. But not because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Shin only does it for survival and the money. If BLAST has hit it big by the time you two get together, then Shin will stop hooking without a second thought. The only person he wants on his dick is you and you alone! If you happen to be rich and successful, that will also make Shin stop hooking.

Despite his young age, Shin is vastly experienced and definitely has a high sex drive. He’s like the damn Energizer bunny! But if your sex drive is lower than his (which it most likely will be), then Shin will accommodate you and won’t push you to have more sex than you can handle.

Shin’s very open-minded so don’t be afraid to tell him what you like and don’t like. Talking about sex is like second nature to him and he has no shame. If you have any insecurities about your body or your performance, don’t be afraid to tell Shin about them. He’ll definitely make you feel better ;)

Shin’s utmost favorite kink is praise, both giving and receiving. Calling him a good boy will absolutely drive him insane and he also likes being called baby boy as well. Yes Shin has a Mommy/Mistress kink and yes he’s a sub. He may not like being dominated outside the bedroom but he definitely loves being dominated inside of it! Don’t be afraid to be rough with Shin either! He can handle it ;) When giving praise, Shin is absolutely filthy and quite detailed. You will definitely be blushing and at a loss for words once he starts talking!

Shin’s favorite positions include this, this, this, and this. He prefers rough and passionate fucking but if you want romantic love-making, he’ll give you that too! Shin will definitely fuck you in the studio and not give a single damn about it! Good thing the place is soundproof (it was his idea)! He will also fuck you backstage before and after a show! In fact, Shin isn’t afraid to have sex with you in risky places at all! Quickies are definitely his specialty and the risk of getting caught and/or being overheard is too good to pass up for Shin! You can also expect some sexting to happen as well!

It’s rare for Shin to be the dom but when he is, boy are you in for some fun! He likes to be called Master and he is one of the biggest teases ever! Shin definitely has many items and toys that he uses in bed with you and having a safeword with him is paramount since he can get pretty rough and sadistic and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way.

A big no-no with Shin is verbal humiliation and degradation. He already has low self-esteem and self-worth as it is and he doesn’t need you adding to it with that kind of stuff. As for physical humiliation, Shin is more accepting of it but still has his limits. He also won’t use it on you as he doesn’t wanna be a hypocrite. But if you insist, prepare to walk funny for about a week!

Shin’s aftercare isn’t really the best since he’s usually the one receiving it so you’ll be the one doing the work. He definitely will have a cigarette after sex and loves to take a bubble bath with you while exchanging pillow talk and cuddling. This is when Shin will be at his most vulnerable so cherish it as much as possible because he’ll most likely tell you things that he hasn’t told a single soul. Please don’t abuse this or take it for granted!

#nana anime #nana manga #ai yazawa #shinichi okazaki #shinichi okazaki x reader #anime headcanons #bringing sexy back #anime imagines #nana imagine #nana headcanons

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nanoland · 3 years

Text

title: Compass Rose

series: Lucifer (TV)

pairings: Mazikeen/Eve

summary: In which Mazikeen exercises her renowned patience.

warnings: Lucifer is kind of a dick in this. Not intentionally; he’s just young and colossally self-centered.

Also on Ao3!

“You. Demon. What’s your name?” asks the Morningstar, looking bored and depressed, as usual.

She straightens up, brimming with nerves and excitement, feeling her acidic blood bubble happily because he’s so handsome! And he’s talking to her! Her siblings will shriek with jealousy when they hear of this. “Mazikeen, my liege.”

“Mazikeen,” he repeats, mispronouncing it. “Great. Maze, do something about… all that, would you? It’s dreadfully grating.”

He gestures to the sea of damned, miserable human souls milling around the base of his throne, calling up to him for help or mercy.

“Yes, my liege,” she says, her bright mind already hard at work planning the next few millennia of punishment.

“Maze, is there a letter from Amenadiel?”

Mazikeen is now four hundred years old and in all that time, not a single letter has arrived in Hell, from Amenadiel or anyone else. Regardless, her handsome king asks every week.

It’s fine. She’s far too mature and cunning to feel even the slightest scrap of envy towards some pompous old angel she’s never even met, regardless of how obviously Lucifer loves him.

Regardless of how obvious it is that he loves no one in Hell half as much.

“No, my liege.”

“Hmm. Fine. Whatever. Fuck him, then. Brothers – who needs ‘em?”

She nods. She herself has many, many brothers, and sisters, and siblings who are neither or both, and she certainly doesn’t need them.

(Sometimes she longs for them, especially when she’s weary from the years and years dedicated to building and securing Lucifer’s kingdom, but she never needs. Needing is for the weak.)

It occurs to her that that king might be cheered by stories of Tradiusis, her most treasured and most useless brother, who is prone to chatting with the damned and asking them about all the silly human indulgences they enjoyed in life, like movies and theme parks and hot dogs. Fool that he is, the mere thought of him always brings a smile to her face.

But she decides against it, suspecting that if she were to begin telling Lucifer about her family, he’d get that same dull, faintly irritated expression she sees every time she reads him a report about the number of new arrivals and how various parts of Hell will need to be restructured to accommodate them all.

(She wonders what will happen when Hell is full – does he have a plan? Is she expected to have a plan?)

(How long, exactly, are they supposed to keep doing this?)

(Surely this can’t be all they were made for?)

“Maze, get me a drink, would you?”

Mazikeen is Lucifer’s right hand, his bodyguard, the highest-ranked demon in Hell, named the Lady of Pain, the Whirlwind, and the Blood Dancer by her peers and underlings.

Pouring drinks is… new to her.

But this is what he wants; this club, this loud music, these inebriated humans constantly demanding attention and entertainment, constantly needing to be managed. And he’s her king.

She pours him his drink and listens to him play the piano, until some wretch attempts to grope her and loses two fingers.

Running a nightclub is, it turns out, complicated.

There are all sorts of rules and regulations regarding what can and cannot be done inside it.

At one point, Lucifer decides it would be fun to have white tigers roaming the dance floor. After a few days spent looking into that option, she has to explain that they may to have settle for waitresses dressed as tigers. He pouts like it’s her fault and goes back to the piano.

She’s also not allowed to kill anyone, which is, honestly, ridiculous. Mazikeen is an ancient being, a warrior nigh unparalleled, with centuries of experience contending with the worst the human race has to offer, and every single night she endures treatment from at least one of Lucifer’s guests that, even to her vast, reasonable, and patient mind, clearly warrants swift annihilation.

If murder is, indeed, illegal, how do all the mortal women in this city who serve drinks cope?

“You block it out, I guess,” says Suzy, a waitress with thick red hair and tired eyes, after Mazikeen has had to save her yet again from a patron with wandering hands (and now broken hands). “You know, just… don’t let it get to you. Grow a thick skin.”

Mazikeen considers the half of her body that has no skin whatsoever and snickers inappropriately. Then she gifts Suzy one of her knives.

Chloe gasps. “Maze! No! Absolutely not!”

“Why?” she asks, annoyed but also genuinely curious.

“I can’t just torture a suspect to get information, Maze. It’s wrong.”

Mazikeen considers saying: You already torture people. You lock them up in tiny boxes until their minds break and their lives are utterly ruined. How is that different? I don’t understand.

Mazikeen considers saying: You let Lucifer violate peoples’ innermost selves to obtain information. How is that better? I don’t understand.

Mazikeen considers saying: I don’t want to be good. I don’t care about being good. So why do I seem to put so much more thought into how to be good than you do? I don’t understand, I don’t, I don’t.

Instead, Mazikeen rolls her eyes and says nothing.

“Maze! No! What were you thinking?” cries Linda, rushing over to the cradle. “You can’t give that to a baby!”

She snatches away Mazikeen’s present; a blade, small and silver, just right for tiny hands, the same blade Mazikeen herself received from her favourite sister on her fourth birthday. It has tasted the blood of over a hundred enemies.

Charlie starts to cry and Linda puts the blade aside so she can pick him up and comfort him.

“Children need to be able to protect themselves,” Mazikeen insists.

“No, Maze. Children need to be protected.”

“No one protected me.”

Linda doesn’t say: Exactly. Why would I want my son to be anything like you?

Because Linda is kind.

But Mazikeen is perceptive and she sees it in her friend’s eyes all the same.

“So then, then it turns out that Jon Snow is actually Daenarys Targaryen’s cousin, right, which makes him – oh no! – a rival contender for the Iron Throne, and…”

“Ugh,” Mazikeen groans, cutting Ella off. “I thought this was a show about dragons! Why does it waste so much time on people either fucking or killing their relatives?”

She laughs at Mazikeen’s exaggerated annoyance. “It’s not just about dragons. There’s a lot of stuff about politics and war and, yeah, fucked-up family dynamics. Honestly, that’s one of the reasons it grips me so much. My own family’s always got a ton of drama going on, too. I mean – no incest. Not that I’m aware of. But you know all about my brothers.”

Mazikeen is about to ask what the dragons look like – whether the show’s version bears any resemblance to the beasts she’s ridden into battle – when Ella tilts her head sideways and squints at her. “Huh. Now that I think about it… I’ve told you all about my brothers but I’ve never asked anything about your family. That was shitty of me! Can I ask now? Or is it, like, one of those things you don’t talk about? Like where you’re from and how you met Lucifer?”

Fiddling with a lock of her hair – it’s straight and black today – Mazikeen says, “I don’t mind talking about it. Just… most people don’t care.”

Ella frowns, briefly (cutely, curse her). “Well, I wanna know! You got any brothers?”

“Yeah.”

“How many?”

“A lot. I’m not actually sure exactly how many there are now.”

“Oh, right. Gotcha. Are you close to any of them?”

“Not these days. But when we were young, we were pretty tight-knit. Didn’t really have anyone besides each other.”

Ella asks her more questions and though she has to keep her answers extremely vague, Mazikeen finds that she likes talking about her home and her childhood. Prolonged exposure to the human world has begun to make her feel insubstantial; a tool, a disguise, a thing without roots or history. Lucifer’s been no help with that, for he’s only ever known her as his servant (and, sometimes, when he’s in a good mood, his friend, by virtue of the fact that friendship with someone who works for you – who can do nothing but work for you – requires no tedious emotional labour whatsoever).

It’s nice to remember that she has, in fact, been other things. That she could, perhaps, be other things in the future.

“So,” Dan slurs, hunched over his beer. “You got whores… hordes… horns? Thought demons had horns.”

She’s busy applying a fresh coat of candy-pink lipstick to match her powder-blue bob. “Some do. I don’t.”

“Well, that sucks. That’s not fair! You deserve horns. You’re cool, Maze.”

Because that provokes a twinge of genuine affection, she says, “Wanna see what I have got?”

“Hell, yeah!”

He grins drunkenly.

“You need to promise not to scream.”

“Oh – oh, man, is it scary? Is it gross?”

She shows him her true face.

After a moment of owlish blinking, he shrugs and returns to his beer. “Eh. S’not that gross. Lucifer’s grosser. Wanna play pool?”

Amenadiel presents her with a beautiful black sheath. “I crafted it from my own feathers. It will keep the blade contained until he’s old enough to wield it safely.”

She slides Charlie’s knife into it. “Someone will need to teach him.”

“Who taught you?”

“Me? No one. They just threw us at one another and clapped for whoever survived. But… well. He’s not like me, is he?”

The angel places the sheathed blade down beside Charlie’s stuffed rabbit and plastic truck. “Maybe not now. With any luck, that will change.”

“Ma-aaze,” Lucifer groans, flopping back in his armchair with his long legs artfully folded and his hand over his eyes. “I’ve had such a tiresome morning. Pour me a drink, would you?”

“Pour it your damn self,” she suggests, standing on his penthouse’s balcony and admiring the view. His throne in Hell was about as tall as this building. From up here, all the little people down below look exactly the same.

He pouts and fetches a glass – and, to her surprise, one for her as well.

Mazikeen brings an abrupt, efficient end to the bar fight by slamming her palm into an assailant’s solar plexus.

He drops like a ton of bricks, joining the pile of groaning men, broken furniture, and smashed bottles. (Shit; it’s going to take ages to clean all this up. If Lucifer didn’t have infinite money, Lux would have gone bankrupt eight times by now.)

She turns to see Eve staring at her, beautiful mouth hanging open, and braces herself for the “Maze! No!”.

“That was so cool,” Eve breathes, and rushes over to leap into Mazikeen’s arms, only to draw back at the last second. “Oh no! You’re hurt!”

There is, indeed, a small cut on Mazikeen’s left hand.

“Don’t care, doesn’t matter,” says Mazikeen, reaching for her, wanting badly to be kissed.

But Eve drags her into a quiet back room where she applies disinfectant and bandaids with cartoon cats on them.

“I really wanna learn how you did that thing with your elbow,” she chatters, wiping away a few spots of blood with a white handkerchief. “The way his nose just went crunch! – man, it was fantastic.”

“I can teach you. If you like.”

Eve’s dark eyes are fond. “You’re always offering to do something for me – to teach me how to fight, or to carry something, or to protect me. It’s… like, I love it. But you know you don’t have to, right?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“I wanna do stuff for you sometimes. Oh! That reminds me. Lucifer was going to take Chloe to a wrestling match but then they had another fight and he’s back to being sad, sooo I stole the tickets out of his jacket. Wanna go?”

“I love you,” says Mazikeen, even though she’s said it five times today. She likes the way it sounds in her mouth. She likes the way it makes Eve’s whole face sparkle.

“I love you too, babe.”

#mazikeen #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #eve #chloe decker #dan espinoza #linda martin #ella lopez #my fic

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harder47medlin · 3 years

Text

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minnuet-archive · 4 years

Text

Getting Better

Rating: PG

Content Warnings: None (that I can find- let me know if you find something)

Word Count: 1,802

Fan-fiction or Original Work? Original Work

Notes: For those of you who asked to be tagged specifically in this story, please let me know if you want to be permanently added to my general tag list!

Honestly, I’m proud of some of this, and not as proud of other parts of it, but that’s alright. I apologize for the fact that I’m utterly hopeless when it comes to creating titles. I didn’t make it too different from our world apart from the fact that people aren’t utterly horrible to each other because family (and friends, I suppose) have left me a bit too exhausted for worldbuilding. I finished writing this at around 1 AM so I apologize if it’s hard to follow near the end. All of my anxiety aside, I hope you enjoy!

The world was dying, and there was nothing they could do about it. That’s what runs through my head as I watch Ms. Ngeze gestures and listen to her voice.

"Their laws were really different than ours. They didn't have guilty until proven innocent laws for officer discrimination cases and accusations. Every law was in favor of the government and police." There's a sort of pain in her eyes as she speaks— one that I've never seen before. I can't look at her. It hurts to.

2020. As I think about the things human beings have done, I'm no longer sad. I'm angry. A virus was spreading around the entire planet and a group of ass-wipes lent it a helping hand because they wanted hair cuts? Whether a murderer should be charged was controversial?

It's not even the half of it. An entire continent was on fire (and the rest of the world was soon to be as well), people were losing basic human rights in other countries, and so much more. And even after all that, it took them so long to change.

No. I’m wrong. The world was dying. But there was something they could do about it. And they didn’t.

“You alright?” I shift my gaze up to meet Ms. Ngeze’s eyes and smile lazily. She sets a piece of paper down on my desk.

“I’m fine. Just thinking about how horrible people were to each other— particularly white cis-het men to everyone else. I can’t even imagine having things like what happened to George Floyd done to people like you and I. It all feels so distant, now.”

Her face softens and she speaks calmly, her voice like honey. “It does, doesn’t it?” I don't think she's being honest as she agrees with me, but I don't mention it.

“Yeah. I’m really thankful we can say it feels distant, too. I couldn’t imagine the human race surviving if we had stayed that ignorant and terrible.”

At this, she laughs. “Me either.” After passing out papers to the rest of my row and the class, she walks back up to the front of the classroom.

“Alright, everyone! I know it was upsetting and a little bit hard to hear today’s lesson, but I hope you feel satisfied with what you learned. If you have any questions about your homework or need an extension for any reason, send me an email or come in during homeroom. I’m here all day,” She glances at the clock a moment before the bell rings. “Bye, everyone! Have a nice day!”

Everyone in class stands up to leave, shouting their ‘have a nice day’s and ‘see you tomorrow’s.

I walk down the hall, smiling and waving at friends as I go along. I eventually find my spot in the quad and set my things down on the grass softly. Asa can’t handle loud noises.

Malee looks up from her book. ‘Hey, Hugo,’ she signs.

‘Hey,’ I respond. I sit down next to her and turn to smile at Asa.

They don't smile back, and my own smile fades a bit. “It’s alright. You want to use your phone to talk or do you just want to hang out?”

They shrug and grumble lightly and unintelligibly. I just touch the top of their hand lightly before opening my backpack. “How about we read a little bit?” I pull out my headphones and they pull theirs out, too.

I pull out my phone and open up an audiobook, handing it to Asa so they can play and pause it as they please.

Their current special interest is energy and I’m honestly finding it really interesting. Regardless of whether or not their special interests are "useful", they’re always interesting. Asa’s interesting.

One of the coolest and most surprising things I learned was that 99.999999999999% of the world is empty space between particles, but energy binds it all together. Zero-point energy, to be exact.

As we listen to the quotes of several physicists and engineers, they often pause the book and tell me facts or stories that certain words or phrases remind them of. But not on days like today. And that’s okay.

Listening to audiobooks and eating red bean cakes with Asa is just as lovely as talking to them. They slip their hand into mine and I smile. It’s more than enough for me to understand.

As a soft melody begins to play from the school speakers, I look over at Asa. They nod and we know that it’s three minutes until the bell rings. The music is one of our favorite things schools have implemented to help neurodivergent people. It can help ease them into the transitions from one thing to another, and I love it.

The two of us— who had both been laying on the grass— sit up, and I lean toward Malee, tapping her on the shoulder lightly.

‘Hey. You should start packing up. It’s a minute to the bell,’ I sign.

She nods and gives me a thumbs up before signing, ‘Okay, cool. Thanks for the heads up.’

I nod and begin to pack my things up. When I’m finished, the bell is about to ring. I look at Asa, who seems to have recharged a little.

“You doing any better?” I ask in a soft voice.

They shrug yet again and speak quietly. “I guess.” Their voice cracks from not having been used for over half an hour.

I smile at them and take their hand in mind for a moment, tracing my thumb in a circle over the top of their hand. I look them in the eyes and speak quietly. “I’ll see you after school. I love you.”

Asa nods, and I glance over at Mali who’s standing up with their binder in arm, ready to go. I wave goodbye to Asa and walk toward Mali. The two of us make our way toward the gym.

We sit down for a few minutes and chat about classes and family before Coach Min does roll call.

When Coach Min looks up at me, I smile. She grins back at me. “Hey, kid.”

“Hello!” I respond with a small wave as she goes back to taking roll.

As she moves down the rows, I don't go back to talking with Malee. My mind wanders back to today's history lesson.

It was so different. People were forced into such horrible situations. I bet they didn't learn sign language in school like we do.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and snap my head toward Malee. She cocks her head. 'Hugo? What are you thinking about?'

I shrug and sign back. 'Just the world. We learned about 2020 in history today and it just made me so mad.'

Nodding her head, she begins to sign. 'The world was a mess, but it was angry at itself for being a mess. It took longer than it should have, but people fixed the way the did things. We're okay now.'

Coach Min calls for us to get in a line for instructions, and we do.

I fling my hands forward in pure annoyance before regaining myself and signing back. 'Sorry. I just don't think it's okay. It was a race to the bottom— to being the dirtiest— and no one batted an eye at participating. I hate that we dismiss it so easily now that it's over. It's not even over yet! There are still bad people.'

'That's true. Bad people still exist; they always will. But we know how to deal with them, now,' she retorts. 'We know not to listen to them. Things aren't completely perfect. They never will be. The human species is a flawed one. But we'll keep learning how to be better. There will keep being setbacks and obstacles and we'll keep overcoming them.'

'But what if we get worse again? What if we repeat history again?' I want to scream. Malee's right, but she isn't seeing my side.

'We won't repeat history again. We stopped repeating history when we started actually teaching history— our full history. Look at us, Hugo!' She flails her arms in an effort to emphasize. “Schools and jobs are working to accommodate everyone. The majority of the population treats people of different races, sexualities, and genders with the exact same amount of respect. That wasn't true in 2020. Yeah, there are still assholes. But we'll keep growing. We'll keep getting better.'

I sigh and roll my eyes. 'Why are you so good with words? It's not fair.'

She giggles and smiles her wide smile.

"Hugo. Malee. Please."

Looking over at Coach Min, I smile sheepishly. "Sorry."

We shift our focus to her and listen as she finishes speaking. "Okay, so those are all of your options today. If for one reason or another you have a disability and haven't discussed it with me, or if you have discussed it with me and are having a rough day, come talk to me now. I'll find something fun for you to do."

The entirety of the class runs toward the back wall of the gym where sports equipment was sitting in baskets. A few people follow Coach Min as she walked toward her office.

'You can choose what we do today. I chose on our last free day.'

Malee's eyes light up like a gasoline-fueled fire and she signs at a speed that’s almost too fast for me to read. 'Can we do volleyball? We don't have to play with the others, but I'd love to at least bump and set the ball back and forth with you!'

I grin; her smile is contagious. 'Of course!' We walk toward the wall where everyone else already is and grab a deep violet ball from one of the baskets.

Volleyball isn't really played anymore, but when it became one of Asa's special interests, we all heard about it a lot, and Malee fell in love with it. Now we play it a lot, even though we don't have volleyballs themselves.

Passing the ball back and forth, I can't help but think of what Malee said. We have changed a lot. We have gotten better.

I hope we'll keep doing that. Getting better.

Tag List: @sunandshinee @writingamongthecoloredroses @ettawritesnstudies @rhycantspell @just-perhaps @abalonetea @monstrouswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @antisocialdragonenby @etddivine @lordfenric @medusaswrites @adaparkwrites @cadewrites @uptown-worm @holdup-pause @grewsolow @gaydemiboy @sautrns @mshelleys @heyhelloitsk @sprigofbasil @gotchaocha @albatris @sondials @starlitpromises-writings @19bottlesofdishsoap @solicitous-lyo @aghostwritesforme @voutraixmont @violetcancerian

#vioaeon #verbose #userfritz #murdereddarlings #writing #mine

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albatris · 4 years

Note

For the OC ask: 🎭, 🌋!

thanks for the ask!! :D pulling out the random number generator again with results of............. Tris and Jacob, a fun pair for these questions

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

nah, Tris doesn't, he's just the same Tris in any scenario I think :P I think he does vaguely understand why you might have different "faces" you wear depending on what sort of context you're in, like whether it's friends or workmates or strangers, but it's not something he can easily replicate himself and he's quite uncomfy with the idea of feeling ingenuine (ungenuine? not genuine?) n like

well, he kind of already struggles enough in social scenarios in trying to appear open and engaging, knowing what facial expressions to use or how to speak, I think the idea of trying to introduce different "personas" is something that would be difficult for him to grasp

Jacob though, yeah, he's got loads of different personas lmao. a side effect of being a chronic people pleaser is he's always trying to act in whatever way he thinks others will respond best to, n he's very good at mirroring others and tweaking his personality to fit whatever crowd he's in

it can be super helpful! it means he's very adaptable and also, I think a degree of being able to change the way you act from context to context is quite healthy and expected in life. I think the fact that Jacob hasn't got a real stable sense of identity means he can take it to the extreme though, he often subconsciously adopts the personality traits of those around him, n sometimes lands in uncomfortable situations or contexts where he's sacrificing his own needs or values because he's trying to fit in and be liked

also fun fact Jacob Greer + mirrors is just a Whole Thing in ATDAO

but yes I think for this question Jacob and Tris are on opposite ends of the scale, probably

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

ah, both of them are extremely slow boils, if you could even call it a boil at all :P lukewarm at best, I think

the idea of expressing A Single Negative Emotion is completely and totally horrifying to both of them, they never had any safe space to work through these feelings or express them, basically in order to survive their Nightmare House they had to internalise a LOT and just remain completely passive and accommodating at all times

n I think both of their default responses to experiencing A Single Negative Emotion Towards Someone Else is “ah, I’m sure this is actually my fault somehow”

but yeah one thing for Tris is that he doesn't express a lot of outward emotion, just like, in general? so changes in facial expression n voice n body language, these don’t come naturally to him at all, regardless of whether he’s happy or upset, which leads a lot of people to assume he’s fairly emotionally uninvolved in life or doesn’t have feelings

so like. from an outside perspective? Tris has nothing going on

most of the people who are close to him (with some notable exceptions) know this is not accurate, and will take his word for it when he describes his emotional state regardless of whether it “matches” his outward expression, but anger is of Particular Difficulty for him to the point where at one stage Noa theorises that he’s completely incapable of feeling it ‘cause he just...................... Will Not talk about it under any circumstances. n like

oh, he’s got some anger for sure, but I don’t think he even recognises it as Anger, and he’s so used to shutting it down that it hardly ever occurs to him that he’s allowed to feel it or that he might be feeling it. like I said in a previous answer, he usually has to take some form of cue from someone else that he's supposed to be angry about things, it’s really not on his radar

and Jacob is just................................. look, his default setting is trying to appease other people and make them like him, I don’t want to use the word “doormat” but like................ hm. he’s reeaaaally not good at Taking Up Emotional Real Estate and would rather die than express any negative feeling whatsoever

like the idea of sharing his feelings with another human person and ~burdening~ them with his woeful thoughts is terrifying enough as it is, and similar to Tris, he doesn’t really feel like he’s “allowed” to take up that sort of space or ask for anyone’s time like that........ and the idea of being visibly angry AT another human person? the idea that he can say to someone that he’s upset with them because they overstepped a boundary or they hurt him or whatever??? I think he would fucking die on the spot

so no, I think for both of them anger takes a very very very very very long time to build, and it hardly ever Actually Escapes

anyway this got way ramblier than I expected yeehaw thanks for reading have a nice day

#jfictitional #long post #lmao sorry #atdao

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scripttorture · 4 years

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Bit of an odd situation for this one, so I apologize if it's out of your scope. CharacterA was a child soldier in Russia, groomed from around age 6 to be an assassin and honey trap. Due to time travel bullshit, CharacterB has now found themselves in charge of a 3-year-old CharacterA who has much of the child soldier mentality and trauma still present. What kinds of lingering issues should they expect/keep an eye out for, and how could they best help this child recover? Modern setting. Thanks!

I might be able to help a little but I don’t know anything about childhood development. And that means that because of the age of the character there’s going to be a lot of important stuff I miss.

Scripttraumasurvivors had some posts on how abuse effects childhood development and how kids at different ages express symptoms. I’d suggest taking a look at their blog.

The impression I get is that the outlook for child soldiers is generally poorer then that of other children but there’s a lot of variability and it doesn’t necessarily have to be as bad as it is now.

There are a lot of different factors that lead to child soldiers having shorter, poorer and less healthy lives and some of those factors can be eliminated.

The biggest one is rejection by the community. People typically don’t want to care for child soldiers. They are often an easy target for the anger and frustration victimised communities feel towards armed groups.

Isolation exacerbates mental health problems. Isolated children are less likely to learn acceptable social behaviour (a big problem when they’ve been taught violence is the best solution). And rejection reinforces the narrative their captors push on them: that the only home they’ll ever have is with the armed group.

The cases I’ve read about are all with much older children. Typically child soldiers are much older then this. They’re usually in their teens.

It’s also important to remember that ‘child soldier’ encompasses any child working within an armed group, whether they are actively fighting or not.

Self esteem problems, mood swings and difficult behaviour (sometimes violence but more often aggression and inability to respond to social cues) all seem to be common.

I’m not sure what these would look like in very young children. However one of the things child soldiers often talk about is difficulty going back to school, getting training or finding jobs. They’re very aware their lack of training has handicapped them. I’ve not read any accounts of them being put back in school among much younger classmates but I imagine at least some of them would find it humiliating.

I’d say that whatever the age (and whether they’re in school or not) this character is likely to feel isolated from and unable to relate to their peers. These feelings may include a degree of jealousy that their peers have access to things Character A does not.

I honestly don’t know how to write these complex feelings manifesting in a three year old.

I do know that in young children the symptoms and emotions at play often get read as the child ‘being difficult’ or ‘acting out’.

Patience and compassion are important.

I think the other main thing to keep in mind for Character B is repetition.

Children raised in these kinds of indoctrinating environments are- They’re subjected to a lot of repeated messages some are about things the group wants them to believe and some are ‘accidental’ lessons. So for instance the group might put a lot of effort into teaching children that ‘You can’t trust anyone outside the group’. And they might accidentally instil things like ‘Do not eat in front of bigger people because they will take your food’.

It would be perfectly normal for Character A to be consciously aware of some of these lessons and unaware of others. For instance if they were explicitly told not to trust outsiders they’d be aware of that and able to verbalise it. But they might not be able to verbalise (or properly think through) something more complex like ‘when you raise your voice I become anxious because I associate that with anger and I associate anger with emotional or physical abuse.’

This is something that applies to adult survivors and I expect it would be more pronounced in children: people can’t always explain why something feels bad or even what about the situation made it bad.

Which means that care takers like Character B need to be patient and be careful about the behaviours/lessons they reinforce.

Any rejection, however small it seems, could be read as ‘evidence’ for that common cult-style lesson that ‘no one outside the group can be trusted, no one outside the group will care about you’.

Undermining these things takes a lot of time. And it can be complicated by the fact that someone can know a feeling is irrational yet still feel it.

Again repetition, providing a consistently safe and nurturing environment, is key.

Any form of physical punishment, whether it’s smacking, sending a child to bed without supper or making them stand in a corner, should be avoided. There’s considerable evidence that smacking at any level is harmful to children. In this particular story I think any sort of physical punishment would worsen the relationship between carer and child, while also reinforcing the message that the people who trained Character A were right.

Beyond that I tend to get a bit more vague because while I know a little about child soldiers there’s still a lot more reading I need to do.

There is a lot of variety in outlooks and outcomes for former child soldiers.

A fair proportion of them go on to have normal lives and contribute to their communities. That proportion increases when there are concerted efforts to welcome them back and care for them.

Some former child soldiers are scoped up by criminal groups. I personally think that a lot of this is because of communal rejection and a lack of other options. Without schooling and skills former child soldiers are relatively easy targets.

I don’t have a breakdown of common mental illnesses in former child soldiers. The general symptoms of trauma are typically the same regardless of the trauma, so you could pick some symptoms from the list on this Masterpost here. They would all be in the realm of possibility even if I can’t tell you how common or uncommon they’d be for child soldiers in particular.

I haven’t read enough about or by child soldiers to feel confident guessing a number of symptoms. If the character survives abuse or torture as part of their time as a soldier then I’d suggest following the guidelines in the Masterpost of around 3-5 symptoms.

Because we don’t have any way to predict which individual survivors develop which particular symptoms I always recommend approaching this choice as an author and considering what works best with the story.

You might want to rule out using some symptoms because of the character’s age. You’ll also want to consider how the character’s age would effect the expression of symptoms.

Anxiety (and related mental health problems) can cause a rapid heart rate, pain in the chest, shakes and a light headed, dizzy feeling. Depression (and related mental health problems) can manifest as tiredness, lack of appetite (or conversely much increased appetite) and nausea (sometimes vomiting).

In a character who can’t necessarily express what they’re feeling (who doesn’t know mental health terms) these symptoms can be confused with physical illness.

My impression, based purely on anecdotes, is that many mentally ill children are labelled as ‘problem children’ long before there’s a suggestion that they might be unwell. It can be difficult to know how to help someone who doesn’t have the vocabulary or experience to express what is wrong and how to fix it.

It’s also really natural, whatever the character’s age is, to get angry at the lack of understanding and accommodations for mental illness. It’s especially difficult to be patient when you’re in pain.

The only other thing I can think of in terms of Character A is that they’d probably say a lot of things adults would find very disturbing.

They’ll not only have been exposed to a lot of… It’s not even really ‘age inappropriate’ so much as inhumane things. They’re told these things are normal. They’re used to being praised for them.

If this child is used to being given positive attention for- Pointing out how someone could be manipulated or killed then they are likely to do it once they begin to trust Character B.

And the problem here is that responding with horror, or telling the child to stop can damage their trust in the adult. It can feel like rejection and it can be difficult for very young children to understand why something they were previously praised for is now wrong. Even when a child understands being unable to express or share things they’ve come to see as ‘normal’ is difficult.

All of which boils down to this: Character B has a damned difficult job ahead of them.

It is hard to rehabilitate traumatised kids even for professionals with experience. For someone who doesn’t have that background it’s stressful, intense and they might not expect so many moments when things seem to get worse instead of better.

They need a lot of patience and an absolute commitment to winning Character A’s trust. Which could take months or more. Consistently providing a stable, safe, loving environment is essential.

What that should look like to best serve the characters isn’t a question I can answer precisely.

There’s a list of sources on child soldiers here that you might find helpful. Also my salty complaints about Cambridge University Press’ search function.

Barber’s book (which I haven’t read yet) focuses primarily on recover and rehabilitation so it might be helpful to you. However age is a factor and I am unsure how many children in Barber’s data set were under 14.

I hope that helps :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw child abuse #tw child soldiers #writing survivors #writing recovery #child soldiers #rehabilitating child soldiers #emotional abuse #mental illness #societal response to torture

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genoshaisforlovers · 5 years

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Reproductive health has become one of the major political topics of our time and I see many feminists, usually referred to as "white feminists" and "TERFs" who are bewildered at the fact that old men don't understand how ridiculous it seems that they are making life and death impacting laws over specific body parts that they don't even have.

I understand the logic behind this but let me explain how these kinds of things work

If you have a uterus can get your period try to imagine you don't. You don't have to try to imagine you have penis, simply try to imagine if you only about menstruation as well as the average guy and then imagine if someone explained it to you

For one week every month your hormone levels will drop causing the lining of one of your organs to be shed and for that entire week it will come out of your genitals along with a constant flow of blood. Sometimes working lining sticks together in a blood clot and you are constantly passing them at different sizes. Gross but it actually seems much harder when you factor in the effect hormones and blood loss has on someone. Cramping, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, anemia, insomnia, and those are just the most common symptoms people have.

And as soon as it stops your body heals itself in the best way I possibly can for you to give birth to a child and if you don't get pregnant be doing it again next month. Adding to the frustration is has physically you also live in a world where people judge you as abnormal to a point that it will limit how successful you'll be in every aspect of your life. It's so shameful that you do everything you possibly can to hide it from everyone.

You hide your tampons, freak out over a little bit of blood on your pants, make it look like blue Gatorade on commercials so most people grow up thinking all those pads were for people who were incontinent.

Yes, it would be great if we had equality but we don't. For whatever reasons the people who can grow a working penis are in charge. You simply have to try harder. And from most men's perspectives actually have a little bit of involuntary privilege already because menstruation is kept in whispers and it's created a culture where because women are looked down upon because of things like having a uterus people pamper them. Women have an excuse to get out of anything and the only way to prove it to a man would be to put the two of you in a sexual situation. Life is generally easier for women because they may have to pay for tampons and whatever else their insurance doesn't cover but they are constantly getting free meals and there'll always be some guy willing to give her anything else she needs. Not that that's okay; that women shouldn't depend on living off of gifts from men even if we all agree on that there's nothing to do about it right this second. Men get more jobs so they can support themselves and the females in their life. Society can't just simply stop until things are figured out and wait for the right people to be in office, it would hurt women as much as men.

I know that this is probably a little hard to admit to but at least to admit to yourself, you can understand how men could feel the way they do and simply be unable to understand everything. You can understand because it's exactly the same way you feel toward disabled people.

Right?

You don't not like disabled people. You know disabled people, some in your family, you broke a leg and spent one summer in a wheelchair so you get it. In fact, you have allergies or "a bit of OCD." Of course you don't know what it's like to be in a disabled body but it's not completely foreign and not even all disabled people are the same so even if you are disabled you can't claim to know what everyone's problems are.

It's not like disabled people have to keep their disability hidden. Everyone knows that there are disabled people and aside from a few crazy people everyone usually tries to help them. People have to use wheelchairs or something obviously have no way to keep that hidden and that sucks but there are also a lot of disabled people who have things you can't see, like their disability is invisible, so they never have to worry about hiding anything because no one's going to really know how much they are suffering just by looking at them. Besides, you know what pain is and we are all human so no one can insist that you couldn't comprehend it because people are people and pain is pain.

And society already does a lot to help disabled people. There is legislation protecting them which was created by people who had no idea what they were talking about, kind of like with abortion legislation, but that legislation is changed all the time even if the only people who get to change it are more people that have no experience with the it.

And they get to stay home. They get to choose not work. They get to have privileges like their own bathroom stall and we all know how comfortable everyone is with who uses which toilet. They even get their own parking spaces but the spaces are right in the front and if anything happened more than often someone would see and do something because it's not like they live in a world cultured by bigotry toward people whose bodies don't work the right way.

And, and, they do get things for free unlike the free things men give women. They can get free meals without feeling degraded and it must be relatively easy to get these males and then shortly people would get at least one for each day of the week. And the lives of disabled people are important so there are definitely a lot of checks and balances in place to keep all this going smoothly. And people are doing it; I'm sure someone in my city is doing it. Housing is also free and it should go just as easily as the meals. Disabled people can get money for rent or free rent in a group home which normal people pay for. It's the normal people of all genders and sexualities to equally support disabled people who were born into a world where society simply wasn't structured to accommodate people like them. Disabled people do get paid less, like literally as low as $0.22 an hour in America, but they also have to work less and of course it would be impossible to live off of such little money and work more, you would never break even let alone survive. So it's like disabled people are all required to be completely dependent on normal people was that they want to or not. And there's nothing to feel ashamed for for feeling normal; normal is just simply regular, it just means like, the average. Like the degree that society deems acceptable.

Oh, and, not everyone is born disabled. A lot of people aren't disabled until they are adults, and there's not many people living with genetic mutations resulting in disability because they all die pretty quickly which isn't so bad because it's really just putting them out of their misery. It honestly must feel like kind of a relief to the people around when they do die, having to take care of someone like that is really sad. Sometimes families do some horrible things but it can't be that many more disabled children that are murdered in Third World countries like England. Obviously there are some people that aren't going to want to have a disabled child or friend or partner but everyone loves their children and their nice people like you out there and no one has sexual hangups on prevailing social bigotry so it's completely fine.

Don't forget they also get really great healthcare like in Canada or Australia which you don't know all the particulars about, even if you are Canadian or Australian because who really looks into the laws affecting people that aren't like them? And it may be just normal people who have ever been in charge of or changed those laws but people are better than they used to be. People aren't that ignorant or hateful. No one would ignore like, and entire genocide of disabled people aside from the one that happened last year in yet another Third World country, Japan.

And since we are on dark things let me mention everyone has to deal with violence and rape, it can't possibly be that much worse for anyone who is disabled let alone GSM. Bigotry toward disabled people is not so embedded in our culture that assault and rape statistics would be in the 80–90s regardless of whether the person was white or not or a man or not. And you are sure it's not so much of a problem that given how ingrained this bigotry is that the only social identify they can identity as is disabled, that such a low bar with their race, their gender, their sexuality; nothing could be piled on that could make their likelihood of a happy life let alone survive any worse. But they could be so disassociated in society that disabled people (or is it people with disabilities? I can't remember if so whatever) are not seen as human. That raping a disabled person was the legal equivalent to having sex with an animal in some American states

things really aren't that bad unless you live in a bad place. Like, what? Eugenics is still illegal anywhere normal. It was only until three years ago that it became illegal to forcibly sterilize prisoners in California

BTW, your cities pride parade was handicap accessible because you saw handicap so they could obviously get in somehow and if they could get in they could obviously get in and do everything else

BTW part 2, your tweet or post about how not at the women's March, a trump protest, BLM event, wasn't meant for them. It wasn't meant for disabled people. When I didn't mention disability or disabled people I wasn't saying that they deserve what they get, I'm just saying that this particular thing you said wasn't about them. Unless you specifically say it's about them then nothing is about them. It is going to be dealt with, separately. Surely there must be someone helping anyway, who wouldn't help them? More people will help but they are busy with issues that they are a little more familiar about because

like that ugly is an incredibly ableist term given that disabled people had to wear a sign around her neck that said "ugly" because to acknowledge that means you would have to stop saying normal words, words you didn't even know were offensive and that everyone says them and you haven't heard anyone complain about before. It would be inconvenient. Not that disabled people are an inconvenience, this isn't about them. None of this is about them.

One more thing: I get irony but also satire

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leollanham · 5 years

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source https://farmerslabseeds.blogspot.com/2019/07/marijuana-seeds-for-sale.html

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odilestory · 6 years

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untitled jay x reader fic pt.1 (jason todd x reader)

This is so long oml. but i’ve had this idea for a whole minute so i thought i’d better put it down. anyway, enjoy!

---

Legs and arms crossed, you sat slumped in a cold metal chair outside your favorite coffee shop. You pushed down your sunglasses (Versace, another gift) and peered over the brims at the jumbotron in the middle of the square. A news headline.

Will Gotham’s symbol of hope and empowerment ever return? - 5 years pass since the last appearance of the beloved Nightingale -

You push your glasses back up just in time to miss the photo shown. The last photo of you two - though, of course, no one would ever know it was you two - that was ever taken.

Five years ago, a bystander snapped a picture of Nightingale and Robin leaning towards one another, about to have their first kiss. That photo had become iconic. There were so many theories about what happened to each of you: the young couple ran from Batman to get hitched, or you were undercover and you killed Robin and then yourself. The second one hurt.

Regardless of the picture shown, you clear your throat, take another sip of coffee and stand up to begin the walk back to your apartment where you’ll inevitably spend the rest of the day.

A few heads turn as you walk down the street. Some women are jealous of your bag (Balenciaga) or your new shoes (classic black Louboutins with the red sole). It was a hard choice today between the Louboutins and the Ralph & Russo Edens, but the black pumps were a better match with your Louis Vuitton Belted Trapeze coat and High Waisted Loos Pant. It was a no-brainer.

The only stop you made was to glance at the news again. A report about Batman and company. You walked away, rolling your eyes, as you knew that Gotham’s “heroes” weren't what they always seem. They would know if they’d been where you’d been.

---

The clean, white apartment often seemed too perfect. You didn’t deserve it, but Bruce insisted that he buy you a place to stay. After Jay’s death, living at or even visiting the manor was too much, and after your parents died (not even six months after Jason passed), you had nowhere to go. Bruce gave you a place to go because he didn’t know how else to say sorry. Sorry for killing your boyfriend. Sorry for killing your drive. For killing the one you loved.

Your cell phone rang. You felt no immediate emotion as you knew it was Dick calling to check in. He’s the only one that ever calls anyway.

- Hello?

- Hey baby-gale, how are you?

- How do you think?

- Have you been out yet today? Socialize at all?

- I got coffee. Like I do every morning. You don’t need to keep checking in. Unless there’s something you need to let me know about, you don’t need to call me every day. I can survive.

- I apologize for caring? Come on, (Y/N), we miss you. It hasn’t been the same. Hell, you don’t even know Tim or Damian yet. And when was the last time you actually went out? You’re 20 years old. At least go to a club or something. I know you can afford something right off the runway so why not wear it out?

- I went two years ago, to the club down the street. But it was like... ugh. I watched people dance and I wanted it to be us. It was torture. Like I kept hearing his voice... I don’t want to do that to myself.

- Try again. For me? How’bout you go out with me and Barbara. If it's too much, we’ll all leave, no problem. Your check should be at your place today. Go spend it on something to wear, we’ll meet you at Mother’s at 10.

You didn’t respond, not wanting to admit defeat. You sighed and hung up the phone, but you knew that Dick knew you would be there.

In the meantime, you made lunch and checked your current account balance. You had $28,743.92 in your savings. It was more than enough to buy a nice look for tonight, but you wanted to wait.

Another thing Bruce did to “accommodate you” was he would send you a quarterly check of $50,000. Every three months you would receive a plain check, directly from the man himself, along with a note from him. Every note had been a plea to return. Apparently, your old suit was displayed right next to Jason’s, as if you were dead as well.

You heard the mail fall through the slot in your door and quickly sorted through the magazines, coupons, and bills to find the envelope that mattered. Sure enough, there it was. You tore it open, threw the note aside. You’d read it later.

There it was: $50,000 from the man himself sitting in your freshly manicured fingers. You ran a nude, glossy, almond-shaped nail over the writing as you put the check down and exchanged it for the note. You unfolded the card.

(Y/N),

We’re here if you need us. Just call. For anything.

We grieve too.

B. Wayne

You folded it back up and slid it across your counter, once again grabbing the check and throwing it in a different Balenciaga bag, putting back on the Louboutins, and headed down to the bank.

---

“Well look at you!”

“Miss ‘hasn’t left the house in 5 years’ really cleans up! What is that, Valentino?”

Dick and Barbara stared at you in awe. You picked out the Michael Kors Sequined Mesh Bell-Bottom Gold Jumpsuit just because you knew it was Mother’s.

“It’s Michael Kors. Did you get us on the list?”

Mother’s was the weirdest club you had perhaps ever stepped foot in, but it was Dick’s favorite. The club was basically straight out of the 70′s and 80′s. They only played music from those decades, and they even had a disco ball out at all times. It was cramped, but busy every night. They had great food and even better drinks, and even though you weren’t 21 you knew you could get Dick to buy a few for you.

“Of course. Come on, let's have some fun.”

Barbara clutched Dick’s arm and you fiddled with you cobalt blue Balenciaga clutch as your heels clicked towards the bouncer.

“Name?” A large, burly man dressed nicely in a navy blue suit held a clipboard on one hand and in the other the clasp of the red rope, ready to let us through if we were eligible.

“Grayson. These two are with me.” He flashed his classic smile and motioned to you and Babs, receiving a welcoming smile in return.

“Enjoy your night.” He unhooked the rope and as you pushed through the door, you were met with colorful, flashing lights, people yelling and dancing, and very loud Duran Duran. Maybe this will be fun.

Swerving around other excited and tipsy club-goers, you all found a booth right off the dance floor and set your stuff down there.

“We’re gonna go to the bar, want anything?” Barbara leaned close to you so you could hear over the loud music.

“Something poisonous! I’ll wait here.” You smiled and leaned on the table, flicking the sequins on your pants and shifting weight between your heels and the balls of your feet.

“We’ll be right back!” They walked away, again arm in arm. That could be you and him right now, if only he were still here.

(at the bar)

“There he is.” Dick got Barbara’s attention as he sighted the taller man sitting at the end of the bar politely declining inquiries for his number.

“Dick, are you sure this is gonna work? She doesn’t have a clue, what if it just scares her away? Pushes her further into that darkness?” She grabbed his arm, making him face her. For the first time since they came up with this plan, he was doubtful. “Dick, is he ready? You all just made up. He just healed things with Bruce. Are you sure he doesn’t need a break before he tries something like this?”

“They loved each other. They love each other. Still. Nothing is gonna change that. I have a feeling its now or never. Any longer and I think she might try and be with him the only way she thinks is possible. I don’t want her to go that far. I’m not gonna let her do what she says she wants to. I’m not gonna let her die when he’s alive. This is happening. Now or never.”

She nodded. Both were determined now. Dick waved his hand to grab his attention.

“Jason!” He looked up with relief and excused himself from the current flirt session he had been roped into. He hopped off the bar stool, leaving his drink and strode towards Dick rather hurriedly.

“Dick, I gotta be honest, I’m not sure about this, you sure she’s not gonna freak?”

“Oh, she’s gonna freak,” Barbara laughed, “But its now or never.” The couple said at the same time.

“We’re gonna bring her a drink, wait a minute or two, and we’ll get her to come dance. Ask her to dance. The music is so loud no one is gonna notice if you explain the whole coming back to life thing, so don’t worry. Explain if you have to.” Dick hurriedly motioned his plan with his hands as if it was an actual mission, and truthfully it was because he had Tim and some other “extras” scattered about in case anything went wrong, in fact, even the bouncer was in on it. Dick told him he was trying to get his two friends to make up and to not let you leave.

“Whatever you say birdbrain, but if this ruins everything, I will literally kill you.”

You had been pulled out onto the crowded, sweaty dancefloor, and were dancing with Dick while Babs was in the bathroom (she wasn’t actually in the bathroom; she was hyping up Jason, but you didn’t know that, of course).

The song stopped and you were in a happy laughing fit: you were having lots more fun than you thought you would. The next song started, it was a song that you, Dick, and Jason would all dance around to and mockingly sing along to. It was Lovemaker by Wham (not George Michael’s Wham!, the other one).

You started dancing with Dick again, making stupid faces and joking about when you were younger. He glanced behind you but quickly brought his eyes back to you again.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I thought I saw Babs.”

You were about to respond with a quick “ok” when someone tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey, doll.”

You froze and looked at Dick for a second, who, instead of recognizing your discomfort, smiled at you. So you turned around, ready to correct the mistake in word choice this stranger had made.

“Sorry, I -”

To your complete surprise, you were met with a strangely familiar face.

“Wanna dance?” Very out of character for Jay, he stuttered a bit, barely speaking loud enough for you to hear.

“Wh-Jay? N-no...No! What the fuck!? You died! What the hell? What the fuck

#Jason Todd #Jason tood #red hood #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #red robin #Tim drake #batgirl #barbara gordon #Damian wayne #Jason todd x reader #dick grayson #nightwing #nightingale #robin #Vigilante #x you #x reader

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7 BEST BIVY SACK REVIEWS 2019 | TACT & OTHER EMERGENCY OPTIONS

Traditional tents and sleeping bags are great to have when you go camping. But if you prefer to go solo, or you enjoy hiking and backpacking through forests and mountains, packing a lot of gear can become troublesome. A bivy sack can help with the problem of extra bulk and weight, but still keep you warm and protected while you sleep. Below we have for you an extended buyer’s guide, complete with reviews on the best bivy sacks available. Before you go on your next backpacking trip, read our reviews so you can be sure to find the right one for you.

Mountaineers and backpackers have long been on a quest to find a sleeping tent that is compact, compresses tightly, and is lightweight to carry. The best solution for some is a bivy sack. Original bivy sacks started as waterproof sleeping bags that provided temporary emergency shelter and sleeping space for adventure-seekers. Today’s bivy sacks reflect body heat to protect the body from the elements longer than laying on the ground out in the open. They have the added benefit of being fully sealed to keep out bugs, snakes, and other animals.

Top 3 Bivy Sacks[BEST FOR THE MONEY]

SE EB1220R EMERGENCY SLEEPING BAG

Editor's Rating:

4.4/5

Made of heavy-duty material

Comes in a high-visibility orange color

Compact and lightweight

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

[BEST OVERALL]

TACT BIVVY

Editor's Rating:

4.5/5

Lightweight

100% waterproof coverage

6 month “any reason” money back guarantee

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

[BEST ADVANCED BIVY]

OUTDOOR RESEARCH ALPINE BIVY

Editor's Rating:

4.5/5

3-layer Gore-Tex respiration-positive fabric

Waterproof

It has a single overhead shock-corded Delrin pole

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

How to Choose the Best Bivy Sack

Bivy sacks come in various styles, colors, and sizes. Let’s first discuss what exactly a bivy sack is and what to look for when choosing the best one for your next wilderness excursion.

What Exactly Is a Bivy Sack?

The full word is bivouac sack, but everyone calls it the bivy sack for short. They’re basically personal tents, providing warmth and protection from rain, snow, bugs, and anything else that you don’t to be in bed with when you’re sleeping outdoors.

They’re essentially made with two layers. The bottom-most layer is made of a tough, durable, waterproof nylon, like what you would find most tent floors made from. The top is usually made from something more lightweight and breathable and treated with Gore-Tex.

Some bivy sacks add a little bit of extra room around the head and shoulders, for those who need some wiggle room. Meanwhile, for the more claustrophobic backpackers, other bivy sacks have an opening for the eyes and mouth.

Other Products We Reviewed

4. Moore Militaria Modular Sleep System

Check it out on Amazon!

Editor's Rating:

Produced by US Military

Compact

Includes compression sack

5. Snugpak 92860 Stratosphere 1-person Bivy Shelter

Check it out on Amazon!

Editor's Rating:

Roomy

Lightweight

It has roll away mosquito net

6. Winterial Single-person Bivy Tent

Check it out on Amazon!

Editor's Rating:

Easy to assembly

Great addition to hiking gear

Good construction

Bivy Sack vs. Sleeping Bag

Tents range from accommodating just one person, to being able to fit multiple people. They’re usually the best choice if you’re going camping with a large group and you all need somewhere sheltered to sleep.

Tents can still be useful if you’re camping solo. They provide a nice little sheltered “room” to block yourself from rain, bugs, and other elements. They’re also spacious enough to store extra gear you may have brought with you.

Bivy sacks or shelters, on the other hand, are designed to serve the purpose of both a tent and sleeping back combined, but for just one person. They provide a place for one person to sleep while being sheltered and warm.

They’re great for people who backpack frequently through the woods or mountains and either need less weight to carry, or don’t always have large areas available for camping in. A bivy sack gives someone the freedom to basically sleep anywhere and have the shelter they would normally get from a tent.

Backpacking sleeping bags have many purposes. Kids’ sleeping bags are a “must-have” for families with children. Kids’ sleeping bags are lightweight, colorful, and may reflect a child’s favorite characters or celebrities, but they are intended for indoor use. Heavier sleeping bags work best for tent or RV camping to help keep them warm and dry, regardless of the weather.

Bivy sacks were designed for a greater purpose. The idea behind a bivy sack is to fully enclose the body to protect it from the weather and anything else in the wilderness that will bother you while you are sleeping. Mountain climbers, backpackers, and other extreme athletes can’t be unnecessarily bogged down by extra size and weight in the back pack.

Their sleeping system needs to store as tightly and as compactly as possible, while being lightweight. The down side to bivy sacks is that they are confining and not as comfortable, so look at this article for the best sleeping padsto complement them. A one-person dome tent may be a better choice for someone who is claustrophobic.

Bivy Sack Weight and Packed Size

A common saying in backpacking and survival circles is “every ounce counts.” This includes your choice of bivy sack. One of the things you need to consider when shopping for a bivy sack is how much weight you’re willing to add to your gear.

Luckily, a bivy sack is going to weigh much less than a tent would. Although most tents weigh between five and ten pounds, even that can become a burden if you’re wearing it strapped to your shoulders for hours on end.

Bivy sacks, on the other hand, weigh only ounces. The larger, more heavy duty ones (especially those with a domed head for extra headspace) will run around 40-50 ounces, while the mummy-style designs will probably only weigh about 15 ounces or less.

Additionally, the heavy duty styles will have poles, roles, and various other accessories which not only add to the overall weight, but they can also add bulk to your pack. Depending on what you need a bivy sack for will determine how much weight and bulk you’ll be willing to carry with you.

Material and Durability

As previously mentioned, the two layers of the bivy sack are made by different types of fabric. The bottom needs to be waterproof and strong, protecting you from the hard, cold ground of nature. It also needs to be able to keep any bugs or vermin from entering your little shelter. Also, as you move around in your sleeping bag, you don’t want the bottom of your shelter to get torn or punctured by the rough surface.

The best fabric to look for regarding the bottom layer is Silnylon (a combination of silicone and nylon). It combines both ripstop durability and strength while also being waterproof.

The top layer of bivy sack needs to be made from something that’s breathable, while also providing shelter from the elements.

The best options for the top tier are:

Gore-Tex: laminate made from stretched Teflon

eVent: waterproof, breathable, and fire-resistant

Toddtex: like Gore-Tex but is also fire-resistant

Pertex Quantum: Uses a two-fiber thickness that makes it waterproof, wind resistant, and breathable

Sympatex: Uses wicking technology that allows condensation to escape. Also breathable and windproof

Powertex: this is a coating that can be applied to any breathable fabric, making it weatherproof

Space and Ventilation

Another important consideration to make when choosing a bivy sack is how much space you’re going to need in one. While most of them are designed to be a tight and compact fit around your body, there are other roomier styles for those who need a bit more space to move around.

Also, if you have a habit of getting claustrophobic, it is extremely important to consider the fact that bivy sacks may not be the best option for you. There are designs that have an open space for your eyes and mouth, but if you’re sleeping somewhere that’s cold and rainy that can sort of defeat the purpose of having one.

If tight spots aren’t a concern for you, you just need to decide how much space and ventilation you need. If you usually go backpacking during the colder months, you need as much coverage as possible from the wet and the cold. But if spring and summer is more your jam, then you’ll need something extra-breathable that also keeps the critters out. Some designs will come with a mesh covering over the face to enhance ventilation while making sure bugs don’t come to visit.

Waterproofing/Condensation

We’ve covered waterproofing concerns, but we haven’t yet discussed condensation. One of the downsides of a bivy sack is because of the tight quarters, condensation tends to build inside, making your sleeping arrangements somewhat damp. Especially on cold nights.

A lot of the condensation will build as a result of your own breathing, as well as any sweat you produce while sleeping. While you’re shopping, look for a bivy sack that is made from breathable materials and offers a lot of ventilation. This will go a long way in limiting the amount of condensation buildup.

Also, once you have your sack, make sure any moisture that you exhale goes out side of the bivy sack. If extreme cold temps or bad weather have you closed up tight, try just unzipping one small hole near your face.

Another thing to try is wearing less layers when sleeping. The more you wear, the more you’ll sweat, which could be counterproductive and make you colder instead of warmer.

Comfort and Warmth

Above all you want something that’s both comfortable and that will keep you warm. But what’s comfortable for you and what’s comfortable for someone else will be completely different. Some people prefer being bundled up like a burrito and sleeping in tight quarters. If that’s you, you’ll love the bivy sacks that wrap you up like a mummy. While someone who likes to have some wiggle room may prefer one of the tented styles.

As far as warmth is concerned, what you need depends on where you intend to sleep with your bivy sack. Many options offer year-round protection, while some of the heavier duty ones can offer protection against temps as low as 10 degrees Fahrenheit.

Value

How much you’re willing to spend is equally as important as everything else we’ve discussed. If you’re on a budget, decide how much you want to pay for a bivy sack, and look for all the necessary features that fit within that price range.

However, if you want performance above price, then take your time to weigh each option against what you need a bivy sack for and go from there.

Key Accessories

Being designed for the minimalist backpacker, most bivy sacks provide them most basic of features. Not many bivy sacks will have extra features or accessories, as they’re designed to take up as little space as possible.

Probably the only accessories you may need with a bivy sack is a sleeping pad for comfort and a strap to secure the pad in place.

Our Favorite Bivy Sack Reviews in 2019

1. [BEST OVERALL] TACT BIVVY

Editor's Rating:

4.5/5

The Tact Bivvy is probably the most lightweight option you’ll find out of all the bivys on our list. It offers 100% waterproof coverage, is incredibly durable, and is backed by Tact’s 6 month “any reason” money back guarantee. The original version was made in bright orange, but this new 2.0, updated model comes in tactical green.

Made from a thermal space blanket material called HeatEcho, this bivy cover easily reflects 90% of your body’s heat back to you. This ultralight bivy sack only weighs 4.8 ounces, so you’ll barely know you have it until you need it.

This is probably the best product to hold onto for emergencies. Keep it in your car in case you ever break down or get into an accident, or even keep it in the house for those times when the power goes out in the middle of winter. Instead of sleeping under hundreds of blankets, just wrap this around yourself.

Because it’s so lightweight, it’s also a great option to have in your survival pack when you go hiking in the mountains. If you must stay out an extra night or you get lost, at least you won’t have to worry about being cold. Additionally, this can also work as a sleeping bag liner for extra warmth. As the best overall bivy, this could easily be paired with any other bivy sack for extra warmth and protection.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

2. [BEST FOR THE MONEY] SE EB1220R EMERGENCY SLEEPING BAG

Editor's Rating:

4.4/5

The SE EB122OR Survivor Series Emergency Sleeping bag offers everything the Tact Bivvy does, but for about half the price.

This bivy comes with this own drawstring carrying bag and weighs only about 4-5 ounces, so you can take it with you anywhere you hike or travel. It’s great for emergencies, especially it’s bright orange color that offers visibility incase any rescuers are searching for you. It’s heavy duty and tear-resistant and returns about 95% of your body heat back to you.

Use this as an emergency cover or take it on your regular camping trip as a sleeping bag liner to help boost warmth. Weather you decide to go with the Tact or for this cheaper option, you won’t regret your choice.

This could also easily serve as a companion to any other bivy tent or sack you decide to buy. Since it’s roughly the size of a soda can or water bottle, it’ll easily fit anywhere without adding a lot of weight.

Sleep warmly and safely in this 3’ x 7’ lightweight emergency sleeping bag with heavy-duty fabric. It’s aluminized with PE material that reflects body heat to create warmth and it weighs only 5. 8 ounces.

It’s tear-resistant and reusable. It comes in a high-visibility orange color and stores in a drawstring carrying bag.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

3. [BEST ADVANCED BIVY] OUTDOOR RESEARCH ALPINE BIVY

Editor's Rating:

4.4/5

The

Outdoor Research Alpine Bivy

is a great option for those something a little comfier while also getting the same protection you would get from a tent.

Probably one of the most advanced bivys around, the bottom of this one is made by Hydroseal with anti-fungal coating, and everything is fully seam-taped, waterproof, and breathable.

It has straps inside to hold down your sleeping pad, as well as five stake loops and one guy line loop for extra stability. And there’s an internal mesh pocket for all your small valuables.

This bivy shelter is a great option for those times you want to go on a normal camping trip, but you don’t want to drag out the tent with you. The GoreTex top is breathable, and you’ll be protected from bugs, storms, rain, snow, etc. This bivy offers you everything you could ever want in a bivy, and so much more.

Seal yourself up tight in this bivy with 3-layer Gore-Tex respiration-positive fabric. The floor is made of nylon and is hydroseal coated to be waterproof.

It has a single overhead shock-corded Delrin pole and end-opening zipper with a wide storm flap. It’s tall enough for thicker mats for a comfortable night’s sleep.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

4. MOORE MILITARIA MODULAR SLEEP SYSTEM

Editor's Rating:

4.5/5

The

Military Modular Sleep System

is a bivy sack that comes in four separate pieces. The first piece is the mummy style patrol bag, then the mummy style intermediate bag. The third portion is the weather resistant camouflage GorTex bivy cover, and lastly the six or nine strap compression stuff sack.

The beauty of this military bivy system is that it’s not just compact but the pieces are interchangeable, giving you’re the perfect warmth and comfort no matter where you are.

The entire pack together weighs 8 lbs, which can be a lot depending on where you’re going, but it offers so much in the way of warmth and protection you may find yourself sacrificing something else in order to include this in your gear.

It’s interchangeable and versatile nature is great, especially if you’re in an area where the climate changes a lot. Some nights you may only need just the cover, or one of the mummy style pieces, while other nights you’ll need all the components together.

Another great feature that these military bivy sacks provide is extra boot room, which is great when nature calls in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping. You can easily sleep with your boots or shoes on and you won’t have to fumble with trying to put them on at one o’clock in the morning.

Have confidence in your gear with this bivy that is standard military issue.

It includes the mummy style patrol bag, black mummy style intermediate bag, weather resistant camouflage Gor-ex bivy cover, and a 6 or 9-strap compression stuff sack.

Stay warm even when temperatures range from 50°F to -50°F.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

5. SNUGPAK 92860 STRATOSPHERE 1-PERSON BIVY SHELTER

Editor's Rating:

4.5/5

The

SnugPack Stratosphere One Person Bivvi Shelter

is the perfect choice for camping or survival when you want the protection and breathability of a tent, without having to bring a tent with you. This shelter features lightweight aluminum poles that create a self-supporting canopy around the head and shoulders, also giving your more freedom of movement around the shoulders and back.

All seams are taped sealed for extra protection and durability, and the tent features a roll away mosquito net, keeping pesky critters away while allowing for ventilation. There’s even enough room in here for your backpack, so you can keep everything safe while you sleep. With extra ventilation and breathability, this is a great option to use year-round.

The Snugpak is an excellent choice of a 1-person bivy with full length side zipper that stands up to severe weather. It’s breathable, yet highly waterproof. It includes lightweight aluminum poles that create a self-supporting canopy.

It also has a roll-away mosquito net in front of the hood and a meshed ventilation section at the back.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

6. WINTERIAL SINGLE-PERSON BIVY TENT

Editor's Rating:

4.2/5

The

Winterial Single Person Bivy Tent

offers one of the most lightweight options for a domed bivy tent. When set up, it gives you a height of about seven or eight inches, which is more room than you could ever need in a personal bivy tent. Equally as impressive: it only weighs two pounds and nine ounces.

This tent is the perfect choice for all seasons with a ventilated roof mesh offering full coverage for rain, flies, and more. The large zippered door offers easy access, and it includes three bundles of rope and fourteen heavy duty stakes to keep the shelter secure in strong winds. This is a great option for all your hiking and camping needs.

Go mountain climbing or hiking in spring, summer, or winter, and you’ll be safe, secure, and comfy through it all. This bivy has the best to offer in design and breathability, as well as protection.

Do your mountain climbing or backpacking three seasons of the year with this bivy that is perfect for summer, as well as colder temperatures during fall and spring.

It has a ventilated mesh roof and a full-coverage rain fly. It comes with three bundles of strong cord and 14 heavy-duty stakes.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

7. SIERRA DESIGNS BACKCOUNTRY BIVY

Editor's Rating:

4.2/5

The

Sierra Designs Backcountry Bivy

is made from 100% quality nylon, weighs a mere thirteen ounces, and is perfect for any backpacker or mountaineer. The manufacturer is so sure that you’ll love this for all your camping needs, they have backed this bivy with a lifetime warranty.

Stylish and colorful, you’ll be the envy of all the campers while you’re sleeping safe and snug inside this personal bivy sack. It even comes with an inflatable pad for added comfort, so you don’t need to buy your own. You’ll be so comfortable you might just think you’re sleeping in your bed at home rather than out in the wilderness.

This bivy is also a great option for hitchhikers who prefer to live on the road. No need to spend money on hotels all the time. Just carry this lightweight wonder with you, and every night you’ll be sleeping comfortably under the stars. Do you want to watch the stars as you drift off? Just roll the cover away from your mesh window, and you can do so while still leaving the bugs out of the equation.

The only downside is the zipper areas might leak under heavy weather, so if those conditions come up you might want to seek additional shelter. Or, you can buy one of the first two emergency bivys on this list and line the inside of this with it for added protection.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

8. RAB ALPINE BIVY

Editor's Rating:

4.2/5

The

RAB Alpine Bivy

is a great option for the minimalist in mind. This bivy provides a much snugger fit than the others and is specifically developed to fend off wind and rain without compromising comfort.

Made from eVent DVSTorm fabric, it’s designed to withstand harsh winter conditions, which makes this this would be the perfect choice for mountain climbers who need sleep snugly and safely on the climb. The super compact design features triple-layered fabric for optimal protection, and yet is extremely breathable to prevent condensation from building up inside.

If you’re not claustrophobic and you frequently hike or backpack through harsh conditions, this would probably be the best bivy for you. One downside is it can be a little up there in price, but it’s worth it for the protection it provides.

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON!

9. S.O.L. ESCAPE SERIES EMERGENCY BIVVY

Editor's Rating:

4.3/5

The

S.O.L. Escape Emergency Bivvy

is a great choice if you’re headed towards milder climates, but still need warmth and protection. Although a bit pricier than other similar options, it provides high quality material that’s resistant to punctures or tears. The olive drab color will help you blend in with your surroundings so you can avoid any unwelcome visitors.

This bivy features a full side zipper and draw-cord hood closure for maximum coverage.

You can use this as a traditional sleeping bag, or as a slip cover over your sleeping bag to add warmth and protection. 70% of your body heat is radiated back to you, allowing you to stay warm in as low as 40-degree weather.

Condensation won’t be an issue with this bivy. It’s made out of proprietary, breathable fabric that lets moisture escape while also keeping out rain, snow, and wind.

This bivy is made from heat-reflective polyethylene that reflects up to 90% of your body’s heat back to you. It’s the same material that Adventure Medical Kit’s world famous emergency blankets are made from.

The bivy sack is ultra-light, ultra-warm, and seals you into the sack to protect you from the elements.

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10. KELTY TRAIL BIVY

4.0/5

Snuggle into this bivy and you’ll be tucked in as tight as a mummy. It’s a bit over-sized, so it fits easily over your head and will accommodate the larger sleeping bags.

Get in and out of the bivy easily with the U-shaped zipper. The fabric is waterproof, yet breathable, and it has a large mesh vented window.

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When you know that you will be hiking or backpacking in remote areas, you need to be keenly aware that the terrain before you is uncertain and the weather is unpredictable. It’s great to plan ahead and it’s even better to be fully prepared for any situation that you may encounter. Taking a bivy along that keeps you warm, no matter what the temperature is, will give you a good night’s rest so that you can tackle any challenges that you may face on your trip.

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