#real doubt

[frxzenbites]

how long do you think pitch is?

#rotg #rise of the guardians #pitch black #real doubt

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[tanoraqui]

it has occurred to me, as I age, that most people did not spend their childhoods getting simplified breakdowns of class-action lawsuits explained to them over dinner at least once a week

#treva does real life #in retrospect it no doubt heavily contributes to my #adoration of media which depicts regular bureaucratic govt processes

[joycrispy]

I'm seeing some confusion out and about over the title A Companion to Owls (generally along the lines of 'what have owls got to do with it???'), so I'd like to offer my interpretation (with a general disclaimer that the Bible and particularly the Old Testament are damn complicated and I'm not able to address every nuance in a fandom tumblr post, okay? Okay):

It's a phrase taken from the Book of Job. Here's the quote in full (King James version):

When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness. My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me. I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and I cried in the congregation. I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. --(Job 30:29)

Job is describing the depths of his grief, but also, with that last line, his position in the web of providence.

Throughout the Old Testament, owls are a recurring symbol of spiritual devastation. Deuteronomy 4:17 - Isaiah 34:11 - Psalm 102: 3 - Jeremiah 50: 39...just to name a few (there's more). The general shape of the metaphor is this: owls are solitary, night-stalking creatures, that let out either mournful cries or terrible shrieks, that inhabit the desolate places of the world...and (this is important) they are unclean.

They represent a despair that is to be shunned, not pitied, because their condition is self-inflicted. You defied God (so the owl signifies), and your punishment is...separation. From God, from others, from the world itself. To call and call and never, ever receive an answer.

Your punishment is terrible, tormenting loneliness.

(and that exact phrase, "tormenting loneliness," doesn't come from me...I'm pulling it from actual debate/academia on this exact topic. The owls, and what they are an omen for. Oof.)

To call yourself a 'companion to owls,' then, is to count yourself alongside perhaps the most tragic of the damned --not the ones who defy God out of wickedness or ignorance, and in exile take up diabolical ends readily enough...but the ones who know enough to mourn what they have lost.

So, that's how the title relates to Job: directly. Of course, all that is just context. The titular "companion to owls," in this case, isn't Job at all.

Because this story is about Aziraphale.

The thing is that Job never actually defied God at all, but Aziraphale does, and he does so fully believing that he will fall.

He does so fully believing that he's giving in to a temptation.

He's wrong about that, but still...he's realized something terrifying. Which is that doing God's will and doing what's right are sometimes mutually exclusive. Even more terrifying: it turns out that, given the choice between the two...he chooses what's right.

And he's seemingly the only angel who does. He's seemingly the only angel who can even see what's wrong.

Fallen or not, that's the kind of knowledge that...separates you.

(Whoooo-eeeeee, tormenting loneliness!!!)

Aziraphale is the companion.

...I don't think I need to wax poetic about Aziraphale's loneliness and grappling with devotion --I think we all, like, get it, and other people have likely said it better anyway. So, one last thing before I stop rambling:

Check out Crowley's glasses.

(screenshots from @seedsofwinter)

Crowley is the owl.

Crowley is the goddamn owl.

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #there's probably a few thousand words more I could say about this but. I think I'll just hang the implications deliciously aloft for now. #something something tfw the embodiment of all your worst fears and self-doubts shows you the only real kindness you've known for centuries #you can't help but love him and you can't help but fear him but above all you TRUST him the way you're supposed to trust God but don't #brrrrrrr #do you think Crowley would vibe with being an omen of spiritual devastation or do you think he would get drunk about it #good omens meta

[mumblesplash]

actually tumblr does have pvp enabled it’ scalled you assholes circling around my perfectly normal posts and chanting “containment breach” until it summons the bloodthirsty swarm of psychic piranhas this site has instead of an algorithm

#mumbling #shit's made it onto the for you tab where they only show the original post and now i've got people in my notes calling me stupid #for not knowing world war 2 happened in real life #never leave room for interpretation around here people hand out benefit of the doubt like it's the last half cup of water in the sahara

[happyheidi]

x

#adorable kitty. chalk and most importantly; balloons! #cus it’s my mothers birthday today! yay!! #cottagecore #nature #naturecore #cats #animals #warmcore #photography #chalk #childish #cute #warm aesthetic #sfw agere #(and that’s a real cat btw for those who didn’t get it… or? lol now u made me doubt it. no. it’s real lol)

[orphee-aux-enfers]

If I learned anything in my master's degree, it was actually about differentiating mis and disinfo, because misinformation and disinformation are not synonyms.

Misinformation:

Incorrect or misleading information. Basically, being wrong or repeating something factually incorrect.

Disinformation:

Incorrect, misleading information designed to be deceptive and propagate wrong information to obfuscate the truth. Becomes misinformation when it's been shared and repeated repeatedly, but not when someone posts the initial incorrect, misleading information.

If you see someone posting disinformation, call it what it is. When I was studying propaganda and disinformation, we had to take breaks every fifteen minutes and check in with someone not immersed in it because even with training you are not immune to propaganda.

Calling a spade a spade is a very important skill.

#misinfo #disinfo #propaganda #op is a zionist. like I'm actually a real Zionist #not just a Jew you dislike I'm actually one of them #ergo if you have a problem with Zionists you do actually have a problem with me and you are in fact the person this post is about #well #it's about people being too nice and giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming everything is misinfo when disinfo exists #vent post

[chez-cinnamon]

Real World AU Designs!!

FINALLY THESE ARE DONE- Took a break from asks to try and get these done, but at long last, here are the "default" outfits for the puppets in my AU!! They have others, including the human disguises and their (damaged) main outfits from their show, but they're often seen in these outfits!

Here are closeups:

#welcome home #welcome home au #real world au #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #julie joyful #frank frankly #eddie dear #howdy pillar #sally starlet #poppy partridge #poppy and barnaby gave me a lot of trouble so they came out very simple #but it's 2007 in the human world #doubt there's much going on #I say that and there's howdy lmao

[great-and-small]

My uncle told me he wears an outfit of all khaki whenever he goes to the zoo because the animals assume he is a zookeeper and try to come up to him

#i doubt it’s a real thing but what a fun idea lmao

[epicthemusicalstuff]

Orpheus and Odysseus looking at each other as they venture through the underworld for different reasons

They both are doing this for their wives and to get them back/get back to them though so-

#The real reason Orpheus looked back was because he was confused by Odysseus and his crew #Epic the musical #hadestown #orpheus #odysseus #doubt comes in #epic the underworld saga

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

obsessed with the prospect of Howdy Figuring It Out via the neighbors enjoying non-food items

#i have a vivid image in my mind #of him seeing this #then going through his entire shop studying every product #and realizing. Oh Shit. Barely Any Of It Is Real. Im Selling Props. #(or something akin to props since i doubt hed jump to that conclusion first) #also the image of him pouring Woodchips and Sawdust outta a cereal box into a bowl #and then sitting there having a breakdown over it #is Insanely funny #hes just cradling the bowl a la blobfish meme.... #scribble salad #welcome home #and then afterwards he's like 'fuck it!!! might as well sell soap as mash! rat poison shakes! who cares!! nothing is real!!!' #thats my brain's version of events until canon proves otherwise <3

[gideonisms]

I don't think John gets harrow, really at all. I think he is constantly misjudging her and her level of attachment to him. She's been indoctrinated to love him but she's literally always put her unhinged lesbian crushes ahead of him in her loyalties. She tried to release the girl she thought could kill him age 11. She lobotomized herself out of being useful to him because she thought he was wrong that she couldn't do anything to save gideon. She hates the food he gives her and she finds his interpersonal relationships distasteful. She's been trained to put him first but she doesn't actually like this guy. Imo

#real 'if god was some guy i would hate his guts but he has his reasons he must' 12 year old doubting your faith energy #anyways. excommunication sweep

[feniksido]

In the name of Balls or whatever

#my art #bg3 #enver gortash #the dark urge #orin the red #what if i told you guys that im obsessed with evil people #yes this is a mess #i miss Zenith he needs to get real #durgetash #baldur’s gate 3 #orin's lady gaga meat dress is confusing to me but she's killing it so who am i to doubt her #zenith

[fumifooms]

There’s something so viscerally sad about Thistle devoting his whole life body and soul to the family who bought him and put him in a clown costume

#Every time you sit at the dinner table further down from the REAL family you push down the self-doubts. You belong. You belong.You earned it #You are worthy #and like he does! Or does he really… They love him but just how do they see him? #Does he have to play the luth in the corner of the room to be able to spend time with his baby nephew? Entertainer or advisor or brother? #Ehem #dungeon meshi #thistle #spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #I have a theory though that the jester costume is a false perception of how tallmen thought elves dressed. #So then bc a bunch of courts want an elf it became a ‘dress the elf up in their cultural attire!’ thing tm and jester outfits became a thin #A touch of elven inspiration and just a load of bs and bad tailoring decisions

[youngestdaughteroftheuniverse]

Puppet History Season 5 Episode 4 - Emotional moment

#watcher #watcher entertainment #puppet history #puppet history spoilers #my gifs #the silly puppet show is getting serious #that scene was mostly cute but god the professor looks so sad when he talks about Ryan #this is the real professor no doubt about it #he's gonna save ryan from the fake one at the end calling it

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - The World Within

#kingdom hearts 0.2 birth by sleep a fragmentary passage #kh0.2 #the world within #dwarf woodlands #realm of darkness #scenery #my gif #this world is interesting because it's so different from the rest #the sky looks like some sort of dome with triangular screens that project a broken glitchy sky #almost as if it takes place in some kind of data simulation #which i don't think is the case but it adds to the feeling of aqua's experiences here not feeling ''real'' #i mean this place hardly even resembles what the original world is supposed to look like #like it changed to match aqua's psyche. forcing her to look at her own reflection and confront her own fears; doubts; guilt; and sadness #actually now that i think about it this feels extremely fitting for this world #it's like when snow white was running through the forest and was so afraid that it made the trees around her look alive and dangerous #except aqua has to wander this broken world and face her dark thoughts that take shape by looking exactly like her #she's constantly running in and out of mirrors into rooms that make no logical sense like the endless staircase and the pillar maze #there are ghostly echoes spoken in her own voice that mock her by saying no one can save her and no one wants to. it's chilling #i can't even say for sure if the phantom aquas are actually physically there or if it's all in her head #similar to how she'd see visions of terra and ven #she's such a tragic character