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galactia · 11 months

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IC NSFW QUESTIONNAIRE.

[ OO1 > introduction. ]

name? Zhongli (Morax) age? 6000+ (actually somewhat older) gender? Male presenting; genderfluid orientation? Panromantic, Pansexual

[ OO2 > basic. ]

dominant, submissive, both? A dominant-leaning both. Zhongli's preference and personality, as well as innate power, trend him toward a dominant roll. However, he is more than willing to be submissive with his partners, depending on the situation and what they have discussed.

i.e. If his partner is uncomfortable being submissive either because it turns them off or they have a reason it isn't pleasurable for them, he will submit readily.

promiscuous or subdued? He enjoys a reputation as a straight-laced, prim, and almost prudish man, but the truth is not nearly that simple. He is subdued, in general, except when he is with a partner or attracted to someone.

A god of contracts, and thus one of a loyal and monogamous nature, he doesn't enjoy promiscuity, and will by and large confine his sex life to a single person for an extended period of time.

quiet or loud? Quiet, but growly. Zhongli enjoys whispering/murmuring during sex; typically affectionate endearments or words of praise, but being a dragon by species, he tends to growl, low. He can be brought to the point of saying, near shouting his partner's name, and gasping/panting/whining with some volume, but there is definitely a working up to that point.

He refuses to degrade his partners (outside of a teasing 'bad boy' or the similar) and dirty talk is... not off the table, but typically done in low whispers on the shell of his partner's ear, and is by far more a tease.

traditional or experimental? Both. With exception: He enjoys both being comfortable and his partner's being comfortable, so he isn't experimental to the point of sacrificing that (i.e. no cushions, no where to relax, the potential for getting dirty in some way OR unsustainable sexual positions).

As long as there is significant skin-to-skin contact, and it doesn't involve inflicting pain or degradation, he is quite willing to broaden his horizons of pleasure (and will generally not be surprised by most suggestions. With as old as he is, he has by and large read about, seen, or experienced many kinks etc)

fast or slow? Slow. If we're talking about the duration and speed of the overall act of sex.

quickies or all-nighters? All-nighters. He isn't.... opposed to quickies entirely, but he very much prefers all-nighters and may turn down sex if it will, in truth, by nothing more than a quick experience.

rough or soft? There really is no one or the other for him. Zhongli is both; it depends on his partner, his mood, and the preferences of his partner. He will generally be both while having sex.

romantic or dirty? Entirely both. He is surprisingly dirty when his partner enjoys it, but is equally as dedicated to the romantic portion of relationship.

partially clothed or nude? Nude.

[ OO3 > in depth. ]

what’s their “type”? Loyal, individual, rebellious/defiant, spirited, affectionate/caring, capable.

He doesn't need, want, or demand his partner be 'good' or 'morally devout'. He doesn't mind blood on someone's hands. He doesn't mind if they hate the gods (though he isn't hiding that he very much is one).

Loyal is one of the chief traits of someone that he seeks. He will not remain with someone who, after they had decided to be in a relationship, will not stay loyal to him both romantically and sexually, as he will with them.

How do they view sex? For his part, as an extension of affection, attraction, and love and an expression of intimacy.

do they kinkshame? No.

preferences? Dominant leaning and top. However, it depend on his partner, their preferences, etc.

favorite toys / extras? He has some hand-crafted geo-construct toys - bindings, a butt plug. They are all capable of resonating with his geo power and vibrating due to this resonance. If his partner enjoys toys, he is more than willing to utilize them.

are they physically flexible? Quite. Do not mistake his age for a limitation. He is, however, quite heavy which is something to bear in mind.

when did they lose their virginity? A long time ago.

how long can they go without sex? As long as needs must. He is an ancient being capable of being patient. When he is not with a partner, or his partner is away, or there is a reason they must abstain, he will. He has a mating season (spring), and for many centuries he suppressed his natural urges during that time, so his ability to abstain is well-established.

When he is with a partner, however, he enjoys sex frequently, and since his stamina is so immense, can marathon sex or do it even nightly (if, of course, that is something his partner desires).

thoughts on foreplay? Nearly essential. Foreplay is important for him, even if it comes in the form stolen looks and smiles, whispered words, or scant, gentle touches that lead to closed doors. He enjoys the process of making out, undressing, etc. If he can work his partners up to the point of intense arousal prior to the actual act of sex, he will be quite pleased.

how often do they masturbate? Hardly ever.

are they vocal (words) during sex? To an extent - he enjoys saying endearments, whispering 'I love you's and praise/encouragement. If he is domming, and his partners enjoys a more rough approach, he will use words like 'Cum for me' and 'Did I say you could ___?'

He will only use possessive words if his partner enjoys them. 'You're mine' and similarly intended possessive growling is certainly not off the table.

do they like to keep music on? No. As long as it isn't terribly distracting though, if his partner wanted it he wouldn't be opposed. He is far more focused on the music his partner is making.

#//nsfw #headcanons//zhongli #[ I have lost the meme/questionnaire for this and I am so sorry xD #but you all get what I've written anyway :P ]

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kuwaredusax · 2 years

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holudureni · 2 years

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Heure d hiver mode d'emploi lego

#http://vk.cc/c7jKeU #nofollow #  <center>HEURE D HIVER MODE D'EMPLOI LEGO >> <a href= rel= target="_blan # lego bateau pirate # comment faire un bateau en lego qui flotte # lego 10259 # bateau lego titanic # bateau en lego facile # lego 10254tuto lego facile # #   Aujourd'hui #Lego est le 4ème fabricant de jouets mondial. Plus de 800 heures de travail ont été nécessaires pour installer les 2 millions de tuilesD'ai #j'ai déjà commencé à mettre ma vie en cartons en vue du déménagement. des couches de vêtements devenus encombrants à la sortie de l'hiver #Ce modèle LEGO Creator Expert comprend aussi un comptoir à billets avec un horaire et une fenêtre de comptoir avec de la place pour glisser #C'est la Journée de l'échange de travail à LEGO City. Tout C'est l'heure du jeu-questionnaire le plus passionnant au monde ! PLAISIRS D'HIV #Vous verrez ! Après l'achat #n'hésitez pas à consulter la notice LEGO® Creator Expert 10249 Le Magasin d'Hiver pour monter rapidement et facilement votre #En décembre #construis chaque jour un nouveau modèle parmi les 24 proposés sur le thème de l'hiver ou de Noël. Amuse-toi pendant des heures à construire # https://ginecefacu.tumblr.com/post/693030504385150976/broyeur-alko-2400-r-notice-download #https://ginecefacu.tumblr.com/post/693030504385150976/broyeur-alko-2400-r-notice-download #https://ginecefacu.tumblr.com/post/693030504385150976/broyeur-alko-2400-r-notice-download.

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ilovetoxicfictionalmen · 1 month

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LIKE A GOOD GIRL

Pairing - Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

Summary - You're Cillian's assistant and he doesn't take it well when you ask him for some time off to go away with your boyfriend.

Warnings - Dark, stalker themes, obsessive, hand job, p in v, threatening, manipulation, naive.

Word count - 2.8k+

It started off with an unwitting smile on his lips, a new encounter that was able to make him feel more jovial when the intention was to purely oversee your concentrated work performance. A simple yet strict questionnaire which should have taken no more than 30 minutes turned into almost 2 hours of discussions with both of your joys and ambitions in life. Throughout the whole interaction, his blue eyes carefully lingering over your body, admiring the mix of proper and teasing that was your pencil skirt and blouse tucked in your tight fitted blazer.

Mentally, Cillian hired you on the spot, but he had to make it seem more professional. So he waited until the next day to bear the good news. Shamelessly, he was awake all night replaying your encounter and widely smiled with excitement about how he was to have you as his assistant.

Denial, complete denial Cillian was in about his obsession with you. You were just his assistant, nothing more but certainly nothing less. Your performance was exceptional, his schedule never overwhelmed him anymore and you created pathways for him to experience the greatest opportunities for his career and overall happiness.

He dreamt of your curves, soft hair, luscious lips and mesmerizing eyes at night. Moaned out your name in his sleep as he humped the bed in vision of you being beneath him. Everytime he would wake to be hot and bothered, but he always blamed his hormones and lack of intimacy with his busy lifestyle.

You were kind, innocent, thoughtful, selfless and fucking naive. Images of you bent over the desk, on top of him in the backseat or trapped under him always played in his mind. Sometimes he would find himself lost in your lips, immensely staring at their movements and the mental begging to have them wrapped around his length.

When you’d ask if he was alright he’d blink back to reality and assure you he was. It always went over your head, you’d always tell him to lay down and rest up. But that was the last thought on his mind, as there were much more sinister things he wished to do, to you specifically.

It was a consuming job, you knew it before you signed up for it. You’ve had your experiences in this league but never knew the lengths or how tiring and restrictive it could be at times. Cillian had a busy job, he suggested it was best if you always accompanied him (even though a lot of the time you could work from home). So you were always booking the next flight out. But Cillian was a kind boss, he’d always promise a night together each week to help the both of you to unwind. Always in some secluded restaurant or sometimes he’d even cook for you at home.

Your relationship developed like quicksilver, sometimes you’d be on the phone call until late at night because secretly he just wanted to hear your voice. Working for him showed you how lonely an actor’s life could really be. Never getting a break to catch up with family or friends. You were thinking of organizing some time alone for him to relax, he deserved it.

Innocent, it was always innocent encounters in his eyes. The line was never crossed by him. He kept his urges locked up, not because of the fear that it would be a public relations nightmare but because he feared he would eat you whole if he let himself have a taste of you.

Sometimes Cillian would ask you to do the most bizarre tasks just to remind himself how dedicated you were to him. It was nice to remember how much control he really had over you. His heart would swoon whenever you’d surprise him on set with the food he was craving the night before, simultaneously to his cock twitching in his pants. Every time he’d have to rush off to the bathroom to jerk off his primitive urges to devour you right there in front of everyone.

It was almost midnight, and here you were, helping Cillian turn the house upside down for his passport. He had misplaced it and felt overwhelmed with not being able to find it before your flight tomorrow.

The pair of you had checked all rooms of the house, you suggested backtracking his steps but it wasn’t much help. When you were in the kitchen, he slipped his passport out of his jacket pocket, a small smile on his lips.

“Found it!” Cillian called out, smiling like a deviant teenager.

Shortly after, your footsteps were heard as you approached his study. “Where was it?” You asked as your head poked around the corner, a relieved expression settling in.

“Underneath my script” he lied perfectly.

“Oh” you murmured, eyebrows scrunching slightly. You could have sworn you checked there.

Cillian raised his watch to his eyesight and lightly gasped. “Gosh, it’s so late darling. I didn’t even realize the time” he apologized. You waved your hand to him in a dismissive manner.

“Oh, don’t stress about it. It’s all a part of the job” you reassured as you softly rubbed your arms, your tired eyes blinking heavily.

Cillian smiled at you and took a step closer to you. “Did you want to stay the night? I feel so guilty having you drive out here. You can keep your car here and we’ll swing by yours for your luggage” Cillian offered, completely painted with innocence and kindness.

“Oh, no it’s alri-”

“I insist” he flashed a wide smile, his tone trickling of demand rather than hospitality.

“Okay, sure” you nodded your head in complete agreement. Completely oblivious to the true colors of his offering.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve stayed over. A couple of times you had too much wine and passed out in his guest bedroom, completely unaware of his lingering dark eyes that stood by the door for hours. He wanted to touch you, he truly did, but was too afraid he’d never be able to stop. So he resulted in pumping his shaft in his trousers, biting his tongue harshly to hold back his moans.

“I was actually wondering if I could ask you a question” you smiled softly.

Cillian hummed and gestured for you to continue on and you did. Immediately, Cillian’s stomach was hollowed out. All over a simple, innocent question on your behalf. But, he felt like you had betrayed him, committed treason over your relationship. His body went stiff, blood boiled as teeth almost cracked from how harshly he clenched his jaw.

Time felt like it went still, as all of these negative emotions fireballed in his mind.

“So?” You asked, your eyebrow cocked up and sweet smile locked on.

“Sorry, what was that again sweetheart?” Cillian asked blankly, trying to hide his true thoughts, wanting to pretend that he didn’t know what you just asked in desperate hopes you could read him. Mentally demanding that you correct your mistake but you were still just as naive from the moment he met you.

“Am I able to have some time off? It’ll be three days max. Samuel really wants to take me away on a surprise getaway, he’s been going on about it for months”

How long have you even had a boyfriend? Cillian never asked, the idea of it was too aggravating for his ego. But you never even mentioned him to Cillian. He thought you guys were closer than that, no he knew you were, how could you hide this from him?

“Who’s Samuel?” Cillian frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Oh! My boyfriend! He admires your work and would love to meet you one day, I think I may have hyped you up too much… But he’s a playwright” you explained yourself in a cheerful manner, almost giggling.

There was a silence which quickly turned awkward when you noticed his eyes twitch. You cleared your throat and looked away from him slightly as you rubbed your arm anxiously. Cillian took a large step towards you and threw his passport carelessly onto his desk.

“I don’t think I can approve of your leave” Cillian answered, emotionlessly.

Perplexity filled your thoughts as the tension quickly brewed in the study. You had to clear your throat once more and awkwardly scratch the back of your neck.

“Oh, really? Um, can I ask why?” You asked, your voice cracking slightly as he took another step towards you.

“It just doesn’t sit right with me” he spoke in a low tone.

“Pardon?” Your eyebrows scrunched at him.

“I don’t like the idea of not knowing how safe you are, you’re better in my care” he answered simply, shrugging his shoulders lightly.

You snorted at him and shook your head. It all made sense now, he was just feeling a little too overprotective over you. It made sense, the pair of you had spent so much time together these past few months, you cared for him too. Cillian stood directly ahead of you, looking down to you with a tilted head.

“Cillian, I appreciate the thoughtfulness but I’m a grown adult” you reassured, your hand touched his bicep and he grunted.

Cillian considered his next argument, nodding to himself when he decided he would say it. “Well maybe I also don’t like the thought of him fucking you” he continued on.

You hand shot back from his arm and you took a step back, your expression flashed with horror as you stuttered.

“Sorry?” You whimpered, stepping back every time he took a step closer to you.

“Why would I allow you to go away to get fucked? Whilst I’m confined here, all alone with nothing but my hand” Cillian frowned, tilting his head further to the left as he quickly moved towards you and blocked the doorway.

Your footsteps swung around as you found yourself stepping backwards to the desk.

“Where is this coming from?” you gasped, your hands planted on the wooden edge.

“Do you know what you do to me?” Cillian asked blankly, his eyes boring into your skull.

There was no answer from you, so he closed the distance, he gripped harshly onto your wrist and brought your hand to his crotch. A heavy cry escaped your mouth at the stiffness in his jeans. Cillian’s eyes rolled back as he moaned out, his hips flexing forward.

“Can you feel that?” Cillian moaned, slowly rubbing your hand over the tent in his pants.

“Cillian” you whined, paralyzed in fear.

“That’s what you fucking do to me” he grunted, pressing your hand firmly over his erection.

“M’sorry” you whined pathetically, eyes swollen red with tears as your body trembled.

Cillian rubbed your heated cheek with his free hand and pouted to you. He tsked at you as he patted your cheek in unison to his sounds, his dark stare frightening.

“Don’t be sorry… But you have to fix it, okay?” He ordered softly, sweetly.

“What do you-” you blubbered, knowing what he did imply.

“Touch my cock baby” he smiled innocently.

“N-no” you shook your head.

His hand swiftly wrapped around your neck as he pressed you against the desk, you cried out in pain and fear and Cillian grinned at you. The hold around your throat warned you to obey him.

“You’ll do as I fucking tell you” Cillian growled, his grip tightened as his teeth flared at you. You nodded your head quickly and he released your throat.

His hands gripped onto both sides of your face, his breath fanned over your mouth as his voice dropped to a whisper.

“Does he fuck you good?”

“Cill-”

He repeated his words slowly, each one dripping with jealousy and anger. You sniveled under him as he breathed slowly, waiting for your answer as he gently humped his hips against yours.

“Uh! I don't know” you stammered out. The overwhelming clouds stormed over your thoughts.

“Naughty girl… I thought I made it clear you were mine” he tsked at you.

His hands fell to your waist, his thumbs rolled circles as he lifted you onto the desk. Spreading your trembling thighs, your skirt raised and his slender digits slid down to your core.

“Cillian please!” You cried out. But you were too fearful of the outcome of trying to push him off of you.

“I am your boss, you’ll address me as sir” he demanded, his forehead pressed against yours.

“S-sir please stop. I’m sorry” you begged as his fingers toyed over your covered pussy.

“Why did you never tell me huh? Little fucking whore” he spat at you.

One hand pulled your panties to the side as the other rolled over your wet folds. Biting back your moan, your tears flooded down your flustered cheeks and Cillian grinned at you darkly.

“Never thought of me at night? Never thought of us?” Cillian taunted, a digit pushing itself into your tight canal.

Shamefully you did, but he was your boss and he was so much older than you. It felt so wrong every time your fingers found its way into your panties when you were all alone in bed.

“Sir please” you moaned out, your eyes rolled back slightly as you sniffled to him.

“I think you liked the idea of being mine, but were just too subconscious, am I right?” Cillian cocked an eyebrow to you as he slipped another finger inside of you.

Your head nodded rapidly as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, your arms wrapped around his back whilst you cried against him. Cillian hummed, gradually picking up the speed inside of you as your moans were muffled and the shaking hold tried to still itself.

“You’re going to touch my cock, alright? Then I’m gonna fuck you. After that, if you’re a good girl, I’ll eat you out. Maybe before our flight you can suck my cock, eh?” Cillian grinned as he slipped his fingers out of you.

There was no reply from you as he quickly pushed his pants and underneath to his knees. You were too afraid to look down, but you could feel him stroking his size against your inner thigh. Cillian kissed your ear then nuzzled his nose against your hair.

Shakingly, one of your hands let go of his back and reached for his length. You squeaked when you felt his firm shaft that dripped of precum. If you didn’t want to look before, you certainly didn’t know, he felt massive, your hand could hardly wrap around the girth.

“You’re okay sweetheart, just breathe” Cillian coached you as you slowly ran your hand up and down his length.

Cillian moaned out as you took his advice and focused on your breathing. Blinking back your tears, your thumb rolled circles around his moist tip. As he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, his hips jerked forward, his arms holding your body possessively.

Roughly, he moved you back up further on the table and took his cock back into his hand. Cillian guided your legs around his waist as he ripped your panties in half. You cried out, your arms wrapped around his neck in fear as he lined his cock to your gushing entrance.

“Need to fuck you” he whined out.

There was no moment of preparation, he forcefully pressed himself inside of you. Completely bruised himself between your clenching walls after a few thrusts. You cried out, your fingernails unintentionally dug into the skin around the back of his neck.

“Fuck!” Cillian hissed out.

Despite how badly he wanted to rest inside of you, his animalistic urges took over his thoughts. At high speed, his thrusts painfully stretched your cunt as you moaned out, panting for a steady breath. Cillian kissed your neck, then bit your neck. His teeth dug into your skin as he desperately wanted to mark you as his.

“Shit baby, I want to stay buried inside of you forever” Cillian whimpered as his thrusts quickly turned runny.

Your teeth flared as you tried to blink back your tears. The pressure against your core was growing rapidly as he hit your bundle of nerves repetitively without even trying. Cillian cried out everytime your walls squeezed his cock.

“Fuck it, gonna fuck you all night. Can’t believe I tried to deny this, deny us. You’re mine, all fucking mine. Ever speak of that fucker’s name again, let alone talk to him, then I’ll ruin you darling. You’ll take care of me during the day and at night, won’t you baby?” Cillian asked, pulling your head back to look at him.

There was no other choice in the matter, you nodded your head to him as you felt your climax climb to the edge, you’d do as your boss told you to do, like the good little girl the both of you knew you were.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #smut #dark smut

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kisses4kaia · 1 year

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* 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥- 𝐜, 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 🌪️

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: you and glenn found each other at the beginning and then get separated. you float around the country for a while before you find your way to alexandria. you recognize glenn and he was in a group with strong and brave characters. one of which, is a very cute guy around your age called carl grimes. (2nd person POV)

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬: season 5 era, however, carl is aged up and has lost his eye. glenn wasn't always with the quarry gang.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: teasing, penetrative sex (p in v), cunnilingus, protected sex, pet names (new girl).

"please, don't be alarmed at the sheer amount of obliviousness to the outside world these people have," a man who you judged to be kind previously introduced as aaron warned as a tall, large, metal, gate slid open to reveal a suburban mini town.

it was nothing like you were expecting. people roaming around town, laughing, chatting, children playing. it all seemed impossible to you.

as you hesitantly walked into town, you noticed a familiar face next to a very pretty lady. you gasped in shock.

the pair turned to the gate to see the new arrival and the man's face dropped in shock. "y/n?" glenn said as a smile lit up your face. you ran up to him as he bent down with his arms extended for a hug. you immediately threw your arms around him in an embrace.

"glenn i- how are you- i don't understand?" you said as the pretty lady stood next to you and your brother from another mother with an amused look adorning her features.

"y/n, this is my wife, maggie. maggie, this is y/n, we were together in the very beginning before i found rick and the quarry group. she's like my sister, and i haven’t seen her in years," glenn introduced with a pleased smile on his face.

"hi, maggie. it's so nice to meet you, i must say, you are very pretty," you said to the short-haired woman. maggie reciprocated the introduction and accepted the compliment appreciatively.

"she's like, really pretty. you got married? when did you get here? who's rick? what's this place like? where have you been?" you rambled question after question once glenn excused himself from his wife so as to let the pair of you catch up.

"slow down, y/n/n," he said. "i know, she is very pretty. i did get married, but there wasn't a huge wedding or anything. we got here a few weeks ago. rick is the leader of my group. alexandria's pretty cool. it's safe, from what we’ve seen so far. and we've been about everywhere. now, where have you been? i mean, after we got separated." glenn inquired.

you took a deep breath. "wow. uhm, i've been floating around, i guess. i was with a few groups, but none of them lasted or were what i needed. i honestly don't really remember how i ended up in virginia," you explained with a breathy laugh as you walked down the streets with glenn.

it was then you got stopped by a short, bright-eyed, woman.

"hello, aaron tells me you're y/n? i'm deanna. i run this place, you could say. can i pull you away for a minute?" she said genuinely. glenn simply smiled at you as if to tell you she’s safe and not to worry.

you reluctantly walked away from the one familiar face in this place with deanna. she brought you to a house—her's, probably—where she set up a camcorder and began interrogation you.

after the short questionnaire, deanna assigned you to a house. apparently, it was already occupied by another teenage girl of your age group, enid.

as you walked into your house with the keys provided to you, you notice a group of teenagers sitting on the couch, 2 playing video games, and 2 others just chatting.

the only girl in the group notices you and jumps up from her spot on the couch. "oh my gosh! hey, you must be y/n. i'm your roommate, enid. these are my friends, ron, mikey, and carl." the girl with a bright smile introduced herself and each one of the boys.

you were a touch overwhelmed. you felt a bit self-conscious, realizing how clean and well-groomed everyone was, in contrast to your dirt-ridden white t-shirt and cargo shorts and boots.

"hey," a boy with curly hair, presumably mikey said, not looking up from his video game. his opponent, ron, also said "what's up?"

the last person on the couch was carl. he looked the most interesting to you, donning a sheriffs hat and a white, gauze, eyepatch. he just looked you up and down and smirked to himself. odd.

"i'm gonna go… shower,” you excused yourself upstairs to find your room and to truly, shower. you know there was running water, you saw it when enid turned on the faucet to grab a cup of water before sitting back on the couch. always the observer, you were.

after you showered and changed into fresh, clean clothes, you made your way downstairs. it seemed like ron and mikey had already returned home, leaving carl and enid on their respective seats on opposite sides if the couch.

"hey, new girl, we were just talking about you," carl said like he was trying to contain a smirk. "new girl?" you said, sitting next to enid on the sofa. "dude, be nice," enid said to carl, shooting him a warning glare.

"she's new, isn't she?" he defended himself. "i'm so sorry about him. usually, he's better than this," she apologized, another glare shot his way. you just chuckle to yourself and say "it's all good, i’ve been called worse," you leaned back, letting yourself relax for the first time in months.

"interesting, new girl. care to share?" the eye-patched boy asked. "first of all, i have a name. second of all, i don't owe you anything," you started before narrowing your eyes at him. "you're part of glenn's group, no?" you asked.

carl hummed, confirming. enid was sitting back and watching the unfolding drama between her two friends. "i am, you knew him?" he answered. "i did," you challenged, eyes boring into his.

"uhm, i think mikey needed me over at his place? bye guys!" enid lied to get out of the thick-tensioned room, darting out of the house.

"y'know, new girl, i think i like you," carl spoke. "you think? you wanna elaborate on that?" you smirked. "well, your stubborn, but not cocky. that's good. you're also hot, and my age," carl explained nonchalantly, moving closer to you.

you laughed at this. "is that so? i mean, you're not too bad yourself. however, i did only just meet you," you said. "we can get to know each other really well if you wanted to." he whispered, moving his gaze from your eyes to your lips and back up to lock eye(s) with you.

you stayed silent for a moment while subconsciously leaning closer and closer. you grazed your lips against his cheek and down to his jaw. you placed wet kisses along his collarbone before bringing your head back up to his head

"y/n," he groaned. "fucking stop," he muttered like he was getting impatient and smashed his lips against yours. you two moved like you were born to do this. you tangled your hands in his hair.

he pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him on the couch. you took initiative and started grinding your hips against his crotch. you could feel him grow under you and it made you so wet.

you were so pent up. of course, there wasn't much sex happening at the end of the world, but you were a hormonal teenager with needs, and he was fulfilling each and every one. naturally, he felt verbatim.

"carl, upstairs," you moaned in between kisses. he wordlessly picked you up from under your thighs, not disconnecting your lips as he trudged up the stairs. he had obviously been here many times because he seemed to navigate the place better than you could've.

he figured out the location of your room quickly with some gentle navigation and laid you down on your bed. you pulled your thin shirt over your head. you watched as carl peeled off his flannel and then t-shirt.

you lay flat on your back while he situated himself in between your legs, pulling them apart. the motion collected in your core, and he fumbled at his belt before you quickly undid it with one hand, pulling a groan from him.

he then pulled you by your ankles to the edge of the bed as you peeled off your last layers of clothing. he stared at you, admiring each and every crease and mark. "god, you are so beautiful," he said softly, but still with the same hunger and lust he had moments before.

carl grabbed a condom from his jean pocket. you wondered why he had one so at the ready, but you shook the thought away, too focused on the pleasure you knew he was going to give you.

he rolled it on before rubbing his pink tip up and down your slick slit, teasing you. "i swear to god, carl. if you don't fuck me in the next 2 secon- oh!” you were interrupted by carl pushing his full length into you.

he pulled your leg up to his shoulder. he bottomed out, and gave you a moment to adjust to his size and after a moment, carl began to move and you sighed in arousal. he took that as a good sign before he used your leg as support to begin ramming into you.

"fuck, new girl. you're so tight," he almost whimpered into your ears after he fell on top of you, not letting up on his pace. his words made you clench your walls around him, making him whimper once more.

it felt good. too good. you thought- no, you knew. you knew if anyone tried to have a conversation with you right now, you wouldn't be able to properly form a coherent sentence. carl grimes was fucking your brains out and you were 110% okay with it.

carl snaked his hand down your body, making stops at your neck, both of your tits, and your love handles, then settled on your clit, making quick figure eights on it.

that was your breaking point. you allowed the tight knot in your stomach to snap, seeing white hot. you couldn't feel anything except him.

it was all him. you had only known him less than a day and he had already infiltrated each and every one of your senses.

you just moaned loudly and messily. carl, too, was nearing his release, and you could feel his protected dick twitch inside of you. "y/n, i'm gonna c-cum, holy sh- fuck!" he said before coming into the condom.

after riding out both of your orgasms with a shudder from carl, he pulled out, watching your own juices flow out of your sensitive cunt. he thought for a moment before getting on his knees and lapping up all of your arousal.

you looked down at him and the view could've made you come again on its own. "carl, you're gonna make me fucking scream," you chuckled before he finished his special clean-up process. "would that be the end of the world?" he said before realizing what he said.

"you know what i meant," he chuckled before helping you off the bed and into the bathroom connected to your room. what a night.

𝐚/𝐧 : i loved writing this ! lemme know what you thought and don't forget to vote 🤍

#carl grimes #carl grimes smut #carl grimes x reader #the walking dead #chandler riggs #twd #twd amc #the walking dead smut #twd smut #oneshot #smut #kaia writes carl

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callaei-researches · 6 months

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Summary of results - Intercultural and cross-linguistic perspectives on the whump genre

Here is a summary of the results from the research thesis, "Intercultural and cross-linguistic perspectives on the whump genre"! This was part of my studying a Master of Contemporary International Studies. The research aimed to explore how whump-interested people connect with the whump genre cross-culturally and cross-linguistically.

Back in June/July this year (2023), I sent out a questionnaire open to any whump-interested person, and also invited interviews for bilingual whump-interested people. I've finally finished my thesis, and overall was awarded an A- for it!

The full thesis is available now to read on Academia.edu, and will also be available on IPU New Zealand's library website in January 2024.

This research was approved for Human Research Ethics Clearance by the IPU New Zealand Research and Development Commitee on 3rd May 2023 (HREC-2023-05-03-01).

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(NB: Due to there being an extensive amount of results, I've only summarised the key findings of the results section and a brief conclusion here. I've referenced page numbers for the full thesis if you'd like to read the extended version.)

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Summary of results (Questionnaire)

233 respondents | 92 different cultural/faith-based identities

The questionnaire was used to answer Research Question 1, "How do the aspects of Hofstede’s cultural dimensions and Schwartz’ universal human values reflect in the characteristics of whump genre identity?"

The questionnaire explored four themes associated with whump genre concepts - “agency,” “comfort,” “stoicism,” and “knowledge” - and found (p. 87):

For the theme of “agency,” questionnaire participants tended to perceive a greater importance for agency for the caretaker and whumper roles. This may be related to the caretaker and whumper role characters’ abilities to carry out their roles of caretaking and whumping respectively. While the cultural dimensions did not appear to be factors inherent to the theme of agency for the whumpee role in a whump genre story, this appeared to work towards supporting the cross-cultural enjoyment of whump. For the theme of “comfort,” hurt comfort, physical comfort and long-term recovery may be more accommodating of cultural dimension dynamics and have a greater capacity to fully realise the goals of Schwartz’ values. For the theme of “stoicism,” the way in which these dimensions can so diversely be applied to this theme suggests a cross-culturally applicable ground. For the theme of “knowledge,” the balance between the certainty of a known whumpee and the uncertainty of an unknown whumper indicate variable tolerance of ambiguity within the whump genre. This suggests a cross-culturally applicable ground.

Summary of results (Interview)

The full results section for the questionnaire can be read in the full thesis (pp. 61-87).

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31 interviewees (15 spoken, 16 written) | 24 different languages

The interview was used to answer Research Question 2, "How do bilingual whump-interested people perceive the ability to convey themes of hurt comfort (a subgenre of whump) in different languages?"

The interview questions were categorised into themes:

Theme 1: Preferences for language when interacting with fiction

Theme 2: Comparisons of different languages’ abilities to convey physical and emotional pain

Theme 3: Limitations or difficulties experienced when conveying whump in, and across, different languages

Theme 4: Cultural, social, and/or linguistic reasons influencing pronunciation of “whump”

Following transcription of the interviews, a thematic analysis involving examining code co-occurences found (p. 123):

For “Theme 1: Preferences for language when interacting with fiction,” preferences tended to be associated with the availability of media, the ability to connect with the author’s intended meaning, and the level of ease and comfort with which interviewees could engage with the fictional media. For “Theme 2: Comparisons of different languages’ abilities to convey physical and emotional pain,” interviewees’ comparisons highlighted differing ways of presenting and conveying pain in language, for example, through language features and words. Overall, interviewees felt that the languages which they were fluent in were generally equally capable of conveying physical and emotional pain, although different languages tended to approach the communicating of pain in different ways. For “Theme 3: Limitations or difficulties experienced when conveying whump in, and across, different languages,” the perceived limitations and difficulties experienced across languages tended to be associated with difficulties in conveying semantic, pragmatic and cultural meaning across languages, and tended to stem from the differences between sociolinguistic approaches to communicating ideas in languages. For “Theme 4: Cultural, social, and/or linguistic reasons influencing pronunciation of “whump,” common cultural, social and linguistic reasons for interviewees’ pronunciations of “whump” included how interviewees expected the word to sound based on their expectations of the letters in the phonological environment, the impact of a lack of having heard the word spoken aloud, sociocultural influences, intuition and language education.

Conclusions (brief exerpt from p. 130)

The full results section for the interview can be read in the full thesis (pp. 61-87). Interview transcripts (sensitive details filtered out) can be read in Appendix H (pp. 177-399).

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Research Question 1 explored cross-culturally applicable aspects of the whump genre. The findings suggested that themes of the whump genre accommodate variations in cultural social orientations and values, thereby enabling an interculturally common ground among whump-interested people.

Using qualitative research (interview), Research Question 2 explored how bilingual whump-interested people perceive and connect with hurt comfort themes across different languages. The findings suggest that multiple factors contribute to how bilingual whump-interested people engage with the whump genre, including but not limited to first and second languages as a tool to experience closely or otherwise distance the subject with, the availability of whump media in different languages, and manner of conveying aspects of pain and comfort through lexical, phonetic, grammatical and cultural aspects of language.

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Thank you to everyone who participated in the research - the questionnaire and/or the interview! Your voices are all important in this kind of research, and are all very much appreciated!

#whump research #whump genre research #academic research #whump community

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yuugen-benni · 3 months

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''What was the best thing someone ever said to you ?''

gn!writing

'You're amazing.' ''That was the line, it seems so simple, right?…Y/n said that to me several times when we were stupid kids in love. They were afraid to say 'I love you' so, instead, saying 'You're amazing' was actually a way of saying 'I'm surprised at how much I love you'….How did I know it was that ? You cannot hide love, it is almost impossible, unfortunately. Our whole being say it for us.'' - Josuke Higashikata, Bruno Bucciarati, Oda Sakunosuke, Bram Stoker

'I knew you would come back.' ''At first I was like 'Am I so predictable? or do they just know me really well?', and then I realized it was a stupid statement; of course I would come back, I have no doubts, no reason to run away and I hope I never will…[Raise an eyebrow] If my insecurities went away after these thoughts ? Oh, Does it really matter? I'm fine....a lot better'' - Abbacchio, Rohan Kishibe, Jouno Saigiku, Ayatsuji Yukito,

''Why is this even on the questionnaire? [Sighs]… Someone once said 'You should smile more, you really make me feel carefree when you do', honestly if they had just said the first sentence I wouldn't feel a thing but they added their own feelings and it was not just a ''kindness'' you do to a random person...Who was the person ? I'm sure there's no such question on the paper'' - Jotaro, Pannacota Fugo, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Lucy Montgomery

''You are recording? Oh, Okay...Y/n one day told me I looked like a character from a fantasy movie! It was oddly endearing, but I didn't question them, although I can assume they see something they admire in me…What exactly? That's a question for them'' - Young!Joseph, Noriaki Kakyoin, Giorno Giovanna, Atsushi Nakajima, Nikolai Gogol

'You're beautiful' "Yeah, yeah, I get it. People always say stuff like this, but you feel me ? It's the little things that can totally brighten someone's day and It seriously made my day! And, not gonna lie, I know I'm good looking, but hey, a little reminder never hurts, right ?" - Guido Mista, Jean P. Polnareff, Edogawa Ranpo, Osamu Dazai

''I remember one night when Y/n called me, out of the blue, saying they wanted me to wish them a 'good night' because my voice was 'the peace they could find to sleep in'. They seemed sad, tired, so I didn't refuse the request…and also why would I refuse ? They are sweet people...What ? If I cried ?...[Looks away with an embarrassed sigh] shut up...'' - Avdol, Koichi Hirose, Jonathan Joestar, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Chuuya Nakahara, Tetchou Suehiro

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covidsafehotties · 1 month

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Published April 22, 2024

Findings

Between Jan 3 and April 28, 2023, 317 tissue samples were collected from 225 patients, including 201 residual surgical specimens, 59 gastroscopy samples, and 57 blood component samples. Viral RNA was detected in 16 (30%) of 53 solid tissue samples collected at 1 month, 38 (27%) of 141 collected at 2 months, and seven (11%) of 66 collected at 4 months. Viral RNA was distributed across ten different types of solid tissues, including liver, kidney, stomach, intestine, brain, blood vessel, lung, breast, skin, and thyroid. Additionally, subgenomic RNA was detected in 26 (43%) of 61 solid tissue samples tested for subgenomic RNA that also tested positive for viral RNA. At 2 months after infection, viral RNA was detected in the plasma of three (33%), granulocytes of one (11%), and peripheral blood mononuclear cells of two (22%) of nine patients who were immunocompromised, but in none of these blood compartments in ten patients who were immunocompetent. Among 213 patients who completed the telephone questionnaire, 72 (34%) reported at least one long COVID symptom, with fatigue (21%, 44 of 213) being the most frequent symptom. Detection of viral RNA in recovered patients was significantly associated with the development of long COVID symptoms (odds ratio 5·17, 95% CI 2·64–10·13, p<0·0001). Patients with higher virus copy numbers had a higher likelihood of developing long COVID symptoms.

Main takeaway

Covid leaves active viral RNA and virions in even "mild" cases. This can result in long covid and possible long-term asymptomatic spread or mutation in some cases.

MASK UP. STOP THE SPREAD.

#mask up #covid #covid 19 #covid isn't over #pandemic #covid conscious #long covid #covid is airborne #wear a mask #coronavirus

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kissingkiszka · 5 months

Note

Hello! Could I request one night stand x Jake but add a little bit of ✨dom daddy-ness✨? Ty in advance pookie

One-Night Stand - Jake Kiszka x Reader

Requested!

Words: 1.8k+

Summary: You meet Jake Kiszka in a bar and you have a one-night stand with him

CW: 18+, MDNI, SMUT, one-night stands, alcohol, drinking, teasing, p in v smut, daddy kink, degrading, Dom!jake x sub!reader, fingering, oral sex, car sex, asshole!Jake, that’s all ?

(I have never had a one-night stand, so I apologize if it’s a bit inaccurate!)

Let me know if you’d like a part two to this! Maybe this is more than just a one-night stand ?👀

—————————————————————

You noticed a man who stood with his elbows rested against the bar and a drink in his hand. His back leaned against the back of the bar so he was able to watch the plethora of people around him. He has an unamused look on his face as he swirls the drink in his cup which appears to be whiskey.

You came out for just a night out. Your friends all happened to be busy but you still wanted to do something to celebrate the long week being over. You we're feeling extra bold tonight and we're in dire need of a hook up. You approached the man, noticing he readjusted his footing as he watched you come closer.

He greets you with a wave. "What's your name?"

"Y/N." You reply.

"Y/N." He softly repeats your name to himself. "Sounds like a name I'd want to scream." He says, shooting you a smirk.

You sigh. "Who are you?"

"My names Jake." He takes a sip of his drink. "I play guitar for the band Greta Van Fleet." He tells you nonchalantly. It's apparent he's trying to impress you.

"Noted." You nod, leaning onto the bar top next to him. "Alright buddy. I'll skip the small talk and cut right to the chase. You wanna fuck?"

"Hey, that's an offer you know I have to take you up on." He chuckles, downing the rest of his drink. "So, what is a woman like you doing at the bar?"

"Eh, just bored I guess." You shrug and tip your glass up to meet your lips.

"What do you like to do when you're not at the bar? And what do you like to do in bed?"

"I didn't know this would require me to fill out a questionnaire. In my free time..I..like to read, listen to music..you know the basics." You adjusted your position. "And in bed, I'll do whatever you want me to do, Honey."

His eyes go wide as he realizes what he's dealing with. You didn't come to play. He down the rest of his drink.

"Let me take you up on that offer...to do whatever I want." He signals for another drink.

"Okay daddy." You rest your shoulders at the bar, finishing your drink as well.

He chuckles at the use of your nickname. "Oh, you're gonna call me daddy, huh?" He leans closer to your body. "I like the sound of that."

"You want me to keep calling you that?" You inquire, leaning closer as well.

He receives his second drink and takes a swig of it. "Tell me, baby, have you ever been with a man like me?"

Your bodies are practically touching at this point. "I've been with plenty of men. But none like you."

A sly grin crosses his face. "Good to know." He wraps his arm around yours. "I plan on making it a night you'll never forget, baby." His thumb brushes over your elbow softly. However, his face is portraying everything but soft.

"How about you get a move on and make it a night I'll never forget then?" You ask, a bit of a bratty tone unintentionally peeking through.

"Oh, I intend to, sweet cheeks." He promises, his voice low and seductive. The raspiness of his voice has you in a chokehold alone. He pays for your drinks quickly, both of you growing more needy for one another.

"Let's go somewhere more...private." He suggests, leading you out into his car.

You knew not to get in the car with a stranger, as they light turn out to be a murderer. But hell, being murdered by him would be a privilege.

His hands linger on your lower back as he navigates the parking lot. He finds the one that belongs to him and unlocks it.

"Is this where we'll fuck?" You ask, anticipation growing in your voice.

"Impatient much?" He teases. "But yes, if you're sure."

"Oh I'm sure." You nod, climbing into the spacious backseat.

"As you wish, little one." He replies, climbing into the car as well. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want you just as bad as you wanted him. Even though it was one small hookup, the passion was definitely there. His heart was racing as his skin brushed against yours. His lips begin to pepper your neck as he slides his hand up your thigh.

"Do whatever you want." You assure him.

Hearing your submission, he begins to massage you through your slip dress. His free hand lifts up the hem and exposes your black lacy thong.

"Look at this sweet little thing." He teases, playing with the hem.

"What are you gonna do to me?" You ask, the ball of fire growing more tense in your abdomen.

"Tsk, Tsk. There's so much I could do." He chuckles. "But let's not ruin the surprise, shall we?"

You hum in agreement as he pulls down your panties, exposing your dripping wet center.

"Fuck, baby." He groans. "All for me?"

"Mhm" you nod.

He begins to kiss you passionately, guiding your hand to his throbbing erection. He's just as eager for you. He's aching for you to take his jeans off.

You take his belt off and then slip off his worn out jeans. You pull down his boxers, releasing his springing cock. You waste no time before wrapping your hand around his length, pumping him. You take your free hand and begin to fondle his balls.

"Fuck, that's perfect." He groans in pleasure as his eyes slightly roll back.

You continue for a few moments.

"Good girl. You're killing me." He encourages as you continue. "Get on your knees."

You obliged, getting on your knees as best as you can in his backseat. Your mouth envelopes his hard cock.

"Suck on it, baby. That's it." He groans, his hips bucking into your hot mouth. "All of it."

His hands grip the headrest for some leverage as he begins to lose himself in the sensation of your mouth.

"I'll take all of you, sir." You lift your mouth away to tell him this before instantly returning to his dick.

"Suck harder, baby. Show daddy how much you want it." He moans.

Just as when you feel his length begin to twitch inside of your mouth, you decide to pull away.

"What's wrong?" He pouts.

"I want you inside of me."

"Alright, sweet cheeks." He murmurs, his voice thick with desire. "But first, let me taste you."

He rests you back onto the seat and his lips quickly find your tight pussy. He begins to tease you with gentle kisses, watching you squirm with need.

His fingers dig into your hips as his tongue traces the folds of your core. His tongue delves in deeper, exploring more of your flavor.

"You taste as good as you feel." He whispers into your skin. "Now," he pulls away from you and sits back up. "Spread your legs for me." His husky voice demands.

"Yes sir." Jake uses his hands to help guide your two legs apart from one another. You're bearing your entire world to the man you had just met tonight, but that didn't matter. You were overcome with desire.

He smirks at your obedience. "Good girl." He examines the glistening folds of your pussy. "Beautiful."

His hands grip your thighs and he leans down to meet your lips. He captures you into a deep and sensual kiss.

His grip tightens as his cock meets your wet entrance. You let out a whine as he slowly pushes inside, savoring the feeling of your tightness around him.

"Feel how good it feels to be filled up by daddy?"

"Yes!" You moan. "So good!"

"That's a good girl." He praises as his hips begin to thrust in and out of your body. "You're so fucking tight. I could stay inside you all night." He groans, his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Then stay in me all night. Show me who I belong to." You whimper, loving to egg him on.

"You belong to me." He says with a pant, his pace becoming quicker. His free hand travels up your body and finds your nipple. He begins to rub the bud between his two fingers. "And I'm going to make sure you remember it."

"I know I do, I just wanted to make sure." You moaned in ecstasy.

"I know you do." He spat, his other hand coming up to caress your other nipple. His fisting both of your breasts now. "You like taking orders from daddy, huh?"

"Yes, I do." You pant as he continues to ram into you.

"Good girl." He growls as his hips slam into you. He pushes you up against the seat, his hard on hitting your sweet spot repeatedly. "Scream for me."

"JAKE!" You loudly moan, hoping that there was not anybody else in the parking lot, or they definitely would've heard that.

"That's it." His hand moving down to rub your clit. "Scream your daddy's name."

"JAKE!" You repeat, this time even louder.

"Fuck, yeah." His whispers as his finger circles around your clit as he drives his cock deeper into you. "That's a girl. You want more?"

"Mhm!" You hum, unable to psychically get any words out.

"You're such a dirty little slut." He yells, becoming rougher. "You want my babies, don't you?"

"Mhm!"

"Say it!" He commands, his cock beginning to twitch again. His movements are sloppy as he begins to lose his rhythm.

"Fill me up with your babies!" You whine, coming close to the edge.

His cock finally pulses inside of you, depositing his seed. "That's it, good girl." He coos and collapses beside you.

You both lay there for a moment, there is a unspoken feeling that this wasn't the end of it. You both catch your breath, but not taking too long before Jake breaks the silence.

"Clean yourself up." He demands, throwing you a clean towel from the backseat.

"Do you want to clean me up?"

He nods in compliance with a smirk. "I guess that's what I'm here for. Spread your legs for me."

You spread your legs as far as the backseat allows you to. "Clean me up."

"No, not yet." His voice firm. "I want to enjoy the sight of my cum inside you for a moment." He admires the scene, his cock already throbbing at the thought of claiming you again.

A few moments pass before you grow even more impatient. "Clean me up now?"

He nods. "No." He kneels down to be eye level with your pussy.

"Stop being a fucking pussy and clean me up already." You snap.

"Shut up, I'm doing it my way." He growls before taking his tongue and sliding it inside of you, licking up of the slick. "You're such a whore."

"I am...but only for you." A small giggle escapes your lips.

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stranger-rants · 2 years

Text

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) & What That Means for Billy

ACEs are something that I think Stranger Things fans have to understand if they’re going to talk about Billy Hargrove. I don’t care so much if people like him, but I do care when people make callous remarks about abuse survivors because of their reaction to him. Billy is not real, but I am. Many people including myself have similar experiences to Billy. So, I am going to explain what ACEs are as they pertain to Billy as well as why you need to stop saying some of the things you’re saying about him.

Before any of you comes at me with “You can understand him, but it doesn’t excuse x, y, or z…,” I need you to stop and think critically about whether or not you’re using that statement as an excuse for yourself to avoid any responsibility in examining the way you think about trauma and it’s survivors. I also need you to think about how your ideas re: justice disproportionately harm marginalized people because the rhetoric some of you use comes from a carceral, punitive mindset. It is not restorative and it does not reduce harm.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is a term used to identify and quantify the impact of childhood trauma on people. Theoretically, the more ACEs a person has the more likely they are to face negative life outcomes. That includes chronic disease, sexual exploitation, STIs/STDs, anxiety and depression, substance abuse, poverty and homelessness, as well as early death. However, there are ways to mitigate the effects of ACEs through support systems and interventions.

ACEs are common. Most people have at least one ACE. There are some people who have a few ACEs. However, some people have a very high ACE score that puts them at a much higher risk for the above life outcomes. I have an ACE score around 8. That’s high. As a result, I have mental and physical health problems that need intervention in order for me to get better. As a child, I developed unhealthy coping skills while surviving abuse that made it difficult for me to access the supports I needed to get better.

What I would like people to understand is that the way we treat people with high ACEs impacts their ability to change. If you want someone like Billy to change, then you have to have empathy for abuse survivors. There is no way around it. If you mock or make light of the negative life outcomes he has experienced because you just don’t like him, that means you do not have empathy for abuse survivors. It does not matter if you think doing so protects the people he has harmed (e.g. Max, Lucas, Steve, et cetera). It is still harmful to us.

Now, if you have read all of that and you’re willing to listen then I’m going to talk about Billy’s ACE score down below. I will talk very openly about canon child abuse he faced as well as the implications of his behavior. I will also talk a little bit about what kind of supports a person like Billy would need. If you are not going to respect any of that, then simply do not engage with me. I cannot force you to lift your head out of the sand, and I do not deserve anyone’s vitriol over this. I think I am being very reasonable.

I am going to base Billy’s ACE score off of this questionnaire. It was featured on NPR, and it’s based on the questionnaire used on the CDC-Kaiser Study on ACEs. There are 10 questions. Any ACE score deserves intervention, but keep in mind that an ACE score over 5 is very high. Here are the questions with responses pertaining to Billy’s canon experiences:

1) Before your 18th birthday, did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?

Billy’s father does swear at him. He insults his appearance. He calls his son a p***y and a f****t. He does this in front of other people. Billy freezes up when threatened by him and acts in ways to avoid being hurt by him. ACE score so far: 1.

2) Before your 18th birthday, did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often…push, grab, slap, or throw something at you?Or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?

Billy’s father does smack him. He’s pushed him. He’s thrown him to the ground. ACE score so far: 2.

3) Before your 18th birthday, did an adult or person at least five years older than you ever…touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? Or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?

This may be controversial, but I think this may be implied. It’s already been discussed that Billy is hyper sexual. This is not typical or healthy behavior, and behavior like this usually indicates a history of sexual abuse. However, we just don’t know 100% other than the fact that adult women have exhibited predatory behavior towards him even before turning 18. ACE score so far: 2 or 3.

4) Before your eighteenth birthday, did you often or very often feel that… no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?

This is obvious, as it serves as one of Billy’s major conflicts. The last time he felt happy was when he was a young child. His parents fought all the time. His father never supported him. Susan ignores the fact that Neil abuses him. No one showed any interest in his well-being. ACE score so far: 3 or 4.

5) Before your 18th birthday, did you often or very often feel that… you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? Or your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?

It’s not clear how well Billy’s material needs are met, but there was absolutely no one protecting him in his household. His room, though decorated, is still pretty bare compared to his sister. Billy is fairly independent because no one really takes care of him. ACE score so far: 4 or 5.

6) Before your 18th birthday, was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or other reason?

Yes. His parents not only separated/divorced, but his mother abandoned him. He had no choice but to live with his abuser. ACE score so far: 5 or 6.

7) Before your 18th birthday, was your mother or stepmother: often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Or sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?

Yes. His mother was abused by his father as well, which may have been the motivation behind her leaving. Billy tried to intervene as a child, but his father pushed him down. ACE score so far: 6 or 7.

8) Before your 18th birthday, did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?

Again, this is tricky. Billy is a substance abuser. It is likely that his father is a substance abuser as well, but we just don’t know enough. ACE score so far: 6-8.

9) Before your 18th birthday, was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?

This is also tricky. Billy exhibits symptoms of mental illness. I know Dacre mentioned Billy having anxiety recently. It would not surprise me if his mother or father exhibited symptoms of mental illness, too. ACE score so far: 6-9.

10) Before your 18th birthday, did a household member go to prison?

We also don’t know much about this. I believe in Runaway Max, Billy himself has had run-ins with cops. He certainly participates in illegal behavior. I don’t get the feeling that his father actively likes to break the law and I don’t think there’s ever any indication that Neil has been arrested for abusing Billy. Still, it is a possibility that Billy has negative experiences with the legal system. ACE score so far: 6-10.

So, all in all, we know for a fact that Billy has at least an ACE score of 6 with a maximum of 10. What does that mean for him? It is very likely for someone like Billy to develop Complex PTSD as a result. CPTSD usually stems from prolonged trauma rather than a single event. CPTSD makes it difficult for people to form healthy attachments and regulate their emotions. Not only that, but having an ACE score this high is associated with risky behavior, hyper sexuality, and substance abuse.

From the CDC-Kaiser Study, here is a graphic representation of common outcomes experienced by people with high ACEs:

We know Billy dies by supernatural forces, but it is no coincidence that he died young as an abuse survivor with a high ACE score. His inability to form healthy attachments and regulate his emotions isolated him from the support systems that could have helped him. Will didn’t ultimately succumb to the Mindflayer because he had a family who loved him and fought for him. Still, it says a lot that he decided to sacrifice himself after a single person decided to reach out to him and help him even just a little bit through his trauma.

I know many people still want him to make amends for his wrongs, but at that point in his life it was very difficult for him to do so. You have to understand that ACEs are an injury, and if you do not let them heal then a person can never get better. What happens when you say or suggest that someone like him can’t change or doesn’t deserve change or deserved to die like that or the like is you trap abuse survivors in this cycle until they no longer survive.

It is a good thing that people have decided to step outside of that punitive, carceral, ‘revenge’ mindset to humanize an abuse survivor. In doing so they are not “making excuses” but rather recognizing that change and healing cannot take place when we think like that. It is not justice. It does not restore justice to victims of violence. It does not stop the perpetuation of violence. Furthermore, using guilt and shame as a motivator for change does not help people like Billy heal from their trauma because it does not recognize their trauma.

If you still do not like Billy after all of this, I do not care. My goal is not to change minds on that front.

If after this you still think it’s okay to mock the abuse he went through (ie. Joking about his death, joking or justifying his father abusing him, and/or saying he deserved any of it) then YOU are the problem! You have no right to be sanctimonious, because YOUR behavior is as systematically harmful as Billy’s own prejudices and as much as some of you like to parrot that he’s “racist and homophobic” you should know that your mindset disproportionately punishes people marginalized on the basis of race or sexuality.

So please, learn what ACEs are and take them seriously. Do your research on ways to prevent ACEs. Think critically about how people talk about abuse survivors no matter how good or bad they seem. Barring trauma from the supernatural, Billy has one of the highest ACE scores out of any of the characters on the show. The fact that he receives some of the most heinous “criticisms” and there is a complete unwillingness to understand him reflects what people with high ACEs face on a regular basis.

That is a problem you CHOOSE to be complicit in.

#billy hargrove #stranger things #text post #aces #meta

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nikatyler · 3 months

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OC QUESTIONNAIRE

@nitrozem tagged me a while back and I'm finally doing it. Thank you! I'm gonna do my favourite vampire loser because of course I'm gonna

NAME: Ross P. Vatore. Yes he took his husband's surname, he was always gonna do it. And he never says what the P stands for. He hates it. But I can tell you. It's Petal. Ross Petal, like rose petals. You know. His parents thought they were being funny. But really, 18 yo me thought I was being funny.

NICKNAME: Babyface (by Lilith, because she thought he looked very very young, and people thought it too, he had to show his ID far too often 💀, this led to his mustache era but didn't make Lilith stop calling him that), Gramps (by his descendants, Pastel, Moss and [redacted gen 10 heir])

GENDER: cis man

STAR SIGN: Aries

HEIGHT: 1.85m

ORIENTATION: Bisexual

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: I've always imagined that one side of his father's family came from Ireland (sims-Ireland), the other from Italy (sims-Italy, again). I never really went in detail about his mother's ethnicity or nationality though, I'm not sure where December is descended from.

FAVORITE FRUIT: certainly not plasma fruit, he hates the texture 💀 He likes cherries.

FAVORITE SEASON: Winter

FAVORITE FLOWER: He's the rose gen sim and I'm predictable, so. Yeah.

FAVORITE SCENT: ...am I gonna be predictable again. Thing is I'm bad with scents, long story short, my senses of smell and taste are weird (and not because of covid, they've always been like that) and that extends to answering stuff like this. Anyway yeah I'm going with predictable 💀

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: Coffee

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: Not a lot my dude, but he's a vampire, he'll be fine. It depends on the season, he sleeps more in the summer to avoid sunlight.

DOGS or CATS: Doggos

DREAM TRIP: Probably some old scary castle in Europe. We have a lot of them, can't pick just one. He'd probably do some Transylvania trip. You know, Dracula and all that. Even though this goddamn fanboy could probably tell you everything Bram Stoker did wrong but he'd still want to go to Transylvania anyway.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: Just one and it usually ends down on the ground. Boy's got nightmares (daymares?) and kicks around a lot while sleeping.

RANDOM FACT: One time for Halloween he went as a Twilight vampire. Basically he just covered himself with far too much glitter and couldn't wash it off for days, and his home was glittery for ages too. 10/10 would do it again

Not gonna officially tag anyone bc this is old and I feel like I've seen everyone and their mother do it, but if you haven't and want to, feel free to say I tagged you <3

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #breeze nsb legacy extra #oc: ross #blorbo talks

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space-writes · 8 days

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wip questionnaire tag

tagged by @ahordeofwasps, thank you! I’ll do this for Valloroth/Renegade Prince this time.

no-pressure tagging @hagscribes @talesofsorrowandofruin and @mjjune

[ID - a green and black decorative divider]

1 - What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

The main trio of boys: Lucian, Sorrow, and Vren. They were just the Prince, the Mercenary, and the Assassin at that point, and the story was supposed to be a one-book thing of Vren trying to kill Lucian, getting stopped by Sorrow, and then all three of them getting together.

That. is not how things have gone. stares at 5-6 book series in mild despair

2 - If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

man, i have so many songs across so many playlists for this book, but i think Make Them Gold by CHVRCHES would make a good intro theme for it; lyrically i like it for the themes, and it’s also got the right more upbeat tone I’d want a TV intro for this series to have

that or The Queen’s High Seas from the Divinity: Original Sin 2 soundtrack because it’s much more of the fantasy tone, and the right level of fun

3 - What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Everyone knows that Sorrow is my beloved boy, but Vren’s been through so much that he breaks my heart (even though all of it is my fault.)

Sorrow gets so many good lines, because he’s a snarky little bitch, but Vren can keep up with him honestly with how deadpan he is. It’s fun to have a duo like that.

also i adore Lucian so much. precious baby runaway prince sunshine boy with trauma <3 im hugging him forever

4 - What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

Legend of Drizzt, naturally ;P

5 - What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

…actually sitting down and writing the rest of it. i keep getting distracted finishing other things TT_TT

also that time i had to sit down and map out the travel timeline so everyone was in the right place at the right time. i have to go back and relearn that when i start redrafting good grief my brain

6 - Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

several! i’ve posted about various beasties before, but we have wyverns and a dragon, and unicorns, and barometz & basilisks

7 - How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

there’s a lot of walking in this book, but there’s also a brief stint on a riverboat, the main crew get a wagon for most of the book, and Vren rides a demon-steed at some point as well.

8 - What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

very low and lazy worldbuilding, plus the very important Rotating Of The Wip in my brain

9 - What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

queer found family, snarky fun dialogue, d&d style adventure. that’s what’d get me in, anyway

10 - What are your hopes for your WIP?

i want to finish it and post it somewhere so people can read it, and i’d love to have some nice comments and for people to draw my characters <3

like that’s it. i want to have the level of reader love and interaction i have with my fic series for this thing.

[ID - a green and black decorative divider]

blank questions & taglist under the cut

What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your WIP?

Valloroth taglist: @cherrybombfangirlwrites @reininginthefirewriting @memento-morri-writes @foxboyclit @lawful-evil-novelist

@at-thezenith @morganwriteblr @fayeiswriting @serenanymph

@sam-glade @viscerawrites @thegreatobsesso (ask to be +/-)

#writeblr #valloroth blogging #wip questionnaire #tag games

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prinnamon · 1 month

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notes on Chell's Mind (CyhAnide)! linked a playlist since this is one of the trickier ones to find, given that all the videos are unlisted. i'm not too worried about archival since they're on Internet Archive and Cyh, as of two years ago, seems to have no intention of ever taking them down/making them private. however, it does seem like the two bloopers episodes are probably lost for good! too bad.

by the way, outside this post, i'm probably going to refer to this series' protagonist as CyhChell instead of something like ChellMind because there were/are lots of other Chell's Mind series! i plan on at least watching the one by Rychotech eventually. CyhChell is the one elevated to the status of "mindverse canon" by other mind series creators, but that doesn't mean others' efforts aren't worth appreciating :3

keep in mind that Cyh wrote and produced this series before the release of Portal 2! as such, there are ways in which Chell's Mind might not be canon-compliant. feel free to point them out in a reblog. i'm not very well-versed in portal lore yet!

EPISODE 00

Chell wakes up and isn't feeling or breathing so good! instinctively searches her brain to attribute it to having drank something the night before.

pleased with the additional jump height granted to her by the advanced knee replacement prostheses.

wants some coffee…

recalls having answered a questionnaire of some kind. cuts herself off before elaborating.

when she hears that the particle field will vaporize the box, she immediately picks it back up. she wants to see that. she specifically uses the word "torture." she wants to do HARM to this inanimate object and while she does so she wants to pretend it can feel pain

it tingles to walk through the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill! feels like static electricity.

heavily critical of all the issues (shaky elevators, suspicious floor stains) in this "nice, new" facility supposedly worth billions

“i wanna go home”

12 is a good number. she feels this way because people have told her 12 is a good number.

creeped out by the cameras at first but then starts sorta playing with them and baby-talking them

VERY nervous at the prospect of losing a limb to a badly-timed portal closure

freaked out by GLaDOS's remark about "prolonged exposure to the button." gets away from it as fast as possible. when she's out of the perceived danger, she quickly realizes it sounds like bullshit and probably isn't dangerous

complains about the use of the word "emancipation." unnecessarily long and complicated word to use when a shorter/simpler one would work just fine, she thinks.

despite her distaste for it, she gets the word “emancipation” stuck in her head after GLaDOS describes the Emancipation Grill. uses “emancipate”/”emancipation” repeatedly after this.

feels completely fine until GLaDOS suggests that the Emancipation Grill sometimes emancipates teeth. then she suddenly panics and says she can taste metal. i'm getting the sense that it is very easy to get CyhChel riled up.

thinks the portal gun is AWESOME. very excited to have it.

“i wanna go home"… 2!

prefers blue (portals, but also the color in general) over orange (portals, but also the color in general)

says she has a "bad hair day" every day. doesn't like her hair i guess :(

wants to hold onto the gun. worried the emancipation grill will take it. elated when it turns out she gets to keep it

very hungry. can't remember when she last ate.

wants more oxygen? i guess she still feels like she's having trouble breathing.

EPISODE 01

ever-present desires: food, coffee, soda, companionship, and to go home

calls the portal gun her only friend in this place. immediately starts trying to think of a name for it other than Aperture Handheld Portal Device/ASHPD.

considers the name Sebastian (Sebby or S-Diddy for short); considers the name Quirinus (she loves the letter Q); tries to think of a good anagram of the letters ASHPD (Shapd, Shpad, Dash-P, or P-Dash)

tells GLaDOS to shut up, she's busy talking to her friend the portal gun.

settles on the name ASHPoD. thinks that makes it sound like "a vegetable or an alien"

starts appealing to "Miss Computer Lady" for something to eat or drink

apparently missing lots of memories/context, which she attributes to a lack of oxygen earlier. anyway, she cannot for the life of her remember anything about GLaDOS the computer's name other than that it starts with a G

her deep hatred of storage cubes continues. she wants to vaporize them soooo bad.

starts to pick up on GLaDOS's passive-aggression and dishonesty

"I wonder which unforgivable ass-hat decided to put me in a pure oxygen environment, anyway. Sure, it was probably so that my knee replacements healed faster, and I could get on with the testing, but still….Well, okay, there was some nitrogen, but no NOS. The least they could have done was give me laughing gas. Then suffocation wouldn't have felt so terrible." ✍️ This will be important later!

remembers that meatloaf is bad. doesn't remember eating meatloaf; just remembers knowing that it's bad.

claims to have signed up for this test. can't remember why she did, but she seems sure she's here voluntarily.

says that it was between Black Mesa and Aperture, and Aperture was offering more money (for what? you’ll see.)

considers briefly that her mom might have put her up to this. it's too hard to remember, so she quits trying.

"i feel like i've never ever eaten anything in my entire life, which is freaking me out."✍️ This will be important later! but that aside, this is real. sometimes you get so hungry you get Scared

smugly suggests Black Mesa is better funded and more advanced than Aperture

incredibly attached to ASHPoD. says they'll be best friends forever even if they can't hug or have staring contests or go to the beach

pronounces her name with a soft "ch" like she’s saying the word “shell”! (in the comments of one of the episodes, Cyh confirms the name is short for Michelle, so that would be why.)

remembers her name! and… not her hometown! wow, yeah, okay her amnesia in this is far greater than i was expecting! and she's handling not being able to remember key details of her life incredibly well.

shares the freeman brothers' trait of being easily hypnotized. she loves swirling ball of light.

"all i remember is taking that test, then being told that they'd fix my legs, then going out to party, then waking up in here and suffocating." JESUS. OKAY. so CyhChell's reason for being here is coming back to her. i'm wondering,,, was this a popular theory pre-Portal 2? that Chell was lured to Aperture for testing under the guise of it just being for experimental knee surgery? or was this just a Cyh original??? like, i recognize “Chell was visiting the facility because a relative worked there and she got kidnapped” is not exactly good, but damn!

uh. anyway! she's finally circled back to the questionnaire she interrupted herself about in episode 00. apparently it asked for her favorite color at two different points and then accused her of lying when her answer changed from one shade of red to another. that's a reference to the Enrichment Center Test Subject Application Process from the now-defunct Aperture Science website! check out an archive of all the questions here on Combine OverWiki!

Chell's answers, by the way, were crimson and sangria.

"Kill me now. Death sounds awesome at this point."

slur count: 1

notices and calls out the fact that there's no scientists in the observation rooms.

thinks GLaDOS's voice might be a figment of her imagination.

fun chellism: "son of a one-eyed prairie dog"

"i wanna go home"… 3! (there was a "can i go home?" earlier as well)

one of her teeth is emancipated after the seventh test. oopsie.

EPISODE 02

slur count: 2

really broken up about the lost tooth. demands medical supplies from GLaDOS (or, if she plans to just continue emancipating all Chell's teeth, to at least prepare some soft foods for her to eat once she's no longer able to chew).

begins threatening to kill GLaDOS in various creative ways

would "slaughter a man with [her] bare hands for a Mountain Dew right about now." *excitedly tabs over to the mindverse character soda preferences spreadsheet once again*

thinks briefly about drinking the sludge.

chell "not a fan of long and complicated words when a shorter/simpler one would work just fine" lastname is certainly having fun saying "emancipated" and "accursed" (accursed? as in farms???) and "egads!" and "mucosa" this episode.

claims that smelling the acid in this room is "worse than being trapped in an unventilated room after spraying an entire bottle of tilex on every wall and rubbing my face in it! which i have never done. not even when i was drunk….okay, maybe once. when drunk. but my friends told me to do it"

sings "mary had a little lamb" in japanese in the elevator to amuse herself. she loves japanese :]

FINALLY, an opportunity to vaporize a storage cube. she thoroughly enjoys it. she does a voice for it and pretends it's pleading for its life and then laughs maniacally as it is incinerated. she incinerates five cubes before deciding to do the actual puzzle

hasn't been promised food but is expecting it.

when GLaDOS says "quit now and cake will be served immediately," chell is ECSTATIC. like, she gets to stop doing this AND she gets food? exactly what she wanted.

black forest cake is her favorite type of cake.

realizes she's not getting cake and is very upset.

is going to call GLaDOS "HAL" now as a form of retribution and as a threat

"♪ mary had a little lamb. her father shot it dead. now it goes to school with her between two chunks of bread. ♪" why aren't we talking about this. can anyone hear me

EPISODE 03

notices signs of clawing/scratching on the elevator's padded walls. she says it looks "as though trapped individuals had once tried desperately to claw their way to freedom," but she seems not to believe that's actually the case.

going to call GLaDOS HAL "Hallie" now.

does a voice for ASHPoD. gives it a british accent and makes it address her as "madam." tells herself in its voice that she's going out of her mind

calls herself "short" and "a tiny person"! SHORT CHELL CONFIRMATION 🎉

finds the momentum puzzles significantly more enjoyable than everything that came before.

references Bleach, i think. i have not seen Bleach, i have no comment on this

hates physics. does NOT want a lesson on physics from GLaDOS "this early in the morning and prior to breakfast."

hearing an echoing whispered voice in her head! was just doing voices before but is legitimately hearing voices now.

the voice in her head claims to be CNN and ultimately leaves her alone because they "have to make sure [they] TiVo'd the game," prompting Chell to wonder, "Is there… TiVo… in my head?" and to request the voice also TiVo the show Fringe for her.

the voice does not like Fringe. for this offense, Chell dubs the voice "evil twin."

slur count: 3 (this one is said by evil twin)

so happy to get the second portal gun! "look, ASHPoD! it's your brother! let's hope he's not evil, like my imaginary twin. she's no fun at all."

in response to this, evil twin says "seven days."

chell thinks the situation is bad but not as bad as it could be

RED VS BLUE REFERENCE. RVB FAN CHELL.

if this is an rvb season 3 situation, she's excited to meet her clones. she'd love a clone army

more emotionally attached to the left side of her body than to the right. would sell her right kidney for $30,000 in a heartbeat if given the opportunity

assumes the result would be catastrophic if two portals collided. something about black holes and dividing by zero

getting a blister from carrying ASHPoD everywhere. it's heavy!

preferred ice cream flavors are blueberry cheesecake and pistachio

dreaming about food… cuts herself off with "i'm shutting up before i kill myself."

wants to be a ninja someday

dancing excitedly while she watches herself in the portal, now that she can put both portals on either side of a tight hallway

EPISODE 04

bets Hallie the computer has a goatee, since evil people always have goatees and the computer is evil

"along with goatees, eyeliner is shorthand for demonic possession….perhaps the computer wears eyeliner as well?" she is designing a GLaDOS humansona inside her head the likes of which the world may not be ready for

mistakes a wall light for daylight. bummed that she can't escape through it.

has had monster movie marathons. considers that a type of survival training

the only disease she'd like to contract is Worseley's Supplement. (from the comments: according to Cyh, Worseley's Supplement is "an obscure reference from an even more obscure book, the title of which escapes me every time I try to recall it. Basically, it means you're incapable of judging amounts, including zero, which leaves you guessing like a crazy person.")

"if ebola made you psychic, i think i'd wanna catch it." Okay

aware she's immune to gravity but still skeeved out by heights

needed to fill out a birth date and death date for a report she was doing on Ross Perot, but he was still alive, so she asked her teacher if she could pick a random date in the future for the death date. "'no,' says my teacher. 'wouldn't you feel bad if he actually died on that day?'…and i smiled at him and replied flatly, 'i wouldn't feel bad, no! i'd feel powerful.'" i LOVE herrrrr, this is a great anecdote

evil twin returns. apparently real-life power outages affect the headspace TV, interrupting the game evil twin was watching.

slur count: 4

new voice in her head who makes exactly one appearance. the fortune-teller. "virgos with beards who are brushing their teeth will die today." unhelpful!

makes an infinite freefall setup for fun and enrichment! it stops being fun very quickly, and she falls for SEVERAL MILES according to a title card because she cannot figure out how to stop. very shaken and relieved when it's finally over

is sick of the cameras staring at her. wants it to stop.

realizes she can knock the camera off the wall with portals. fascinated. elated. agog.

"(in a silly voice) i need mountain dew before i kill again!!!" she is so thirsty let her sip

"then again, illusion is preferable to despair." if she was offered a drug that would let her mentally escape from this situation, she'd consider taking it.

decides it's a good time to start plotting world destruction

references yu-gi-oh

"i've come to the conclusion that life is a game. my life, specifically. however, every game has its cheats." oh that's a good line

references sonic the hedgehog

she has retained the idea from earlier that the buttons emit dangerous radiation and that there are actual consequences for "prolonged exposure."

starts rambling about Erasmus and madness, seemingly trying to convince herself she "has every right to lose her mind. thoughts of terror and carnage are okay! they're totally okay because Erasmus says it's okay."

and now i have to interrupt the flow of this because this was the point when i decided to scroll down and read some of the comments on this video, and

[Start ID. A YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 14 years ago. It reads:

@/Whackjood: She's not starving or malnourished. She's just never eaten food, which causes the sensation of hunger. Because she's a clone. GLaDOS kept her in stasis in the relaxation vault prior to testing. Health-wise, she's theoretically perfect, since that's how GLaDOS operates.

End ID.]

and i didn't find this one until later, but here's a comment on a different episode along the same lines:

[Start ID. A YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 14 years ago. It reads:

@/MaxOfS2D: Unfortunately, none of that was ever confirmed by VALVe. Ergo, I can decide her story. They neglected to give Chell a background for the purpose of letting players choose what her past might be. There are also theories that she's Cave Johnson's daughter, a clone of a test subject from before GLaDOS was commissioned, she's actually an android, etc.... I don't like the idea of her getting caught on bring your daughter to work day, so I went the route that brings Black Mesa to the fore.

End ID.]

wowowowowow. that was a bombshell to just suddenly discover! the canon is that the CyhChell we follow through this series is a clone! so... whatever happened to CyhChell Prime? maybe she just came in, answered a questionnaire, had some of her DNA taken, and then got sent home with a check. i hope she at least got the knee surgery she was promised before being sent home. how many Chells came before the protagonist? what number is she? (twelve is a good number. or, so she's heard.)

huh. man. anyway..! after processing some of the implications of this, i went ahead and moved onto the last installments of the series.

EPISODE 05 (PART 1)

it's a weight off her shoulders to let go of the idea that she has to stay "sane."

remembers what it's like to rip your nails to shreds in a cheese grater obsessively trying to grate the last bits of cheese. sanity is a cheese grater

still believes the situation could be worse!

goes back to bargaining with GLaDOS instead of threatening her. "condition me to respond favorably by giving me things! preferably expensive things."

"I Lost You (Through a Portal to Hell)" is playing from an inaccessible radio in test chamber 14.

seems to believe portal guns will eventually be mass-produced. ("ASHPoD, you're gonna make people very lazy one day.")

undershoots a jump and slams into a wall.

hates mosquitoes.

can't remember speaking to anyone at Aperture since getting here. (so who administered your questionnaire, silly?)

she'd like it if someone was around to comfort her. anyone. she'd take an evil/creepy mad scientist.

vaporizes another cube for fun.

hates Valentine's Day.

wants a nap. mmm. elevator naptime.

EPISODE 05 (PART 2)

never mind about naptime, she gets up literally as soon as the elevator ride ends.

fun chellism: "oh, for the love of waffles"

reacts to GLaDOS's comment about complimentary grief counseling. "who's gonna be grieving? am i? will you be taking ASHPoD from me? or will ASHPoD be the one grieving? 😰"

"cripes, i throw like a girl. …wait, i am a girl." feels transgender in some direction

vaporizes one of the cameras.

"I Lost You (Through a Portal to Hell)" is playing from another radio. it seems inaccessible, but chell grabs it!! now that she can hear the song better, she likes it. she enjoys rock music.

trying to figure out a way to get the radio past the emancipation grill. "now that i've attained music, i can't imagine being without it. the silence was killing me inside."

"maybe i can hide [the radio] in my jumpsuit? uh… no. that won't fit. if my boobs were smaller, then we wouldn't have this problem, would we?" finally,,, a tiny bit of evidence i can point to for my transmasc/bigender CyhChell theory (wishes her boobs were smaller... just like me...)

hears the song say "portal to Hell" and gets so freaked out she vaporizes the radio. so much for music. and it makes a VERY unpleasant sound while being destroyed (she describes it later as "the radio that shrieks in pain") which hurts her ears

"portal…able… areas….por-tal-able. portable? portal-able?" can't find an easy adjective for "able to have a portal placed upon it."

doesn't understand trigonometry. feels that understanding trigonometry would make this easier.

oh, and she's been calling the high energy pellets "superballs" for a while. forgot to note it whenever it started.

"lucky for me, fortune favors the psychologically deviant."

doesn't like the phrase "more quickly." prefers her version: "quickler."

wants to get wasted at a bar after all this is over.

plans to take a nap in THIS elevator.

hears the elevator playing music for her and then talking to her (it's the voice of ian riley! yay!)

the mind series fandom wiki led me to believe that the series had been silently canceled, and that was true for a long time, but two years ago Cyh actually left a comment under episode 05 (part 2) which provided some closure!

[Start ID. An edited YouTube comment by @/CyhAnide from 2 years ago. It reads:

So. Now that pinned comments are a thing, allow me to answer some frequently asked questions... (WARNING: TEXT WALL AHEAD.) Q) Next episode when? A) Never. I'm sorry, but I'm not planning on continuing this series. Mostly because it's so old? And because I can't guarantee that I would finish it even if I did start it up again--which wouldn't be fair to the ten or twenty people who actually want it to go on. The YouTube environment is exhausting on the mental health, people. For cereal. And my channel a decade ago was nothing compared to some of today's numbers! Goodness, it even tore SBFP apart. How does Pewds survive? Q) What you up to? A) Life is going swimmingly~! I'm almost always on YouTube, but as a viewer only. You're most likely to spot me commenting on random spookytube/mysterytube videos. Also, the creator of Barney's Mind and I got married! Been together since the heyday of the MasterMinds, actually. No kids yet, but we do have an African Grey who is stealing my voice. Q) You gonna delete your videos??? D: A) Nope. At least, not all. I've made the bloopers and some of the extraneous stuff private because they're either purposeless or bothered me in some way, but I plan to leave the Chell's Mind main series up for the foreseeable future. They will be unlisted; however, I'm keeping the playlist front and center on my channel page. The reason for this is simple: I don't want them on the algorithm anymore, mostly because it only brings more people to the channel who are doomed to disappointment. To those who attach nostalgia to my series, however, I'm leaving the playlist of unlisted episodes up just for you. :D I'm sure various wiki links or whatever should also still be able to find them that way. Also, YouTube now monetizes EVERYTHING, and I don't want to contribute. =_= My videos were ad-free from birth, darn it. Conclusion: Anyway, I apologize for...ELEVEN YEARS OF SILENCE???? You all probably don't know or care, but I'm honestly kind of atrocious at keeping up with social interaction of any flavor. I'm basically the personification of every "sorry I vanished for three months" meme. Except I can vanish for years at a time without feeling pressured to return. As demonstrated by this channel. I don't even own a smart phone. Because I'd rid myself of its [ping! ping! ping!] presence within a week. XD Still, I'm happy that some of you still look back on this series and smile. It was immature at times--and probably even horribly non-PC by today's standards--but still, it's nice to know that I managed to entertain a few of you, at least a little bit. ^_^ Much love, my friends, and thank you. I hope that all my viewers, new and old, go on to lead happy, peaceful lives. =_= ~*(cyh)*

End ID.]

i think i got a little deeper into finding extra facts about one than i did for the others, but the series definitely deserved it! plus, it was short, so i could afford spending a little more time with it. although i started and finished the series and my notes for it yesterday, i took today to scroll through the comments on each video, looking for any more bombshells like "canon clone cyhchell" which i might have missed. none so earth-shattering as that, but i'll share some of my finds (in a reblog since this post is getting very long)!

#prinna's posts #prinna's machinima notes #suicidal thoughts #ask to tag #chell's mind #chells mind #chell's mind (cyhanide)#chells mind (cyhanide)#cyhchell #cyhchell's mind #chychells mind #mindverse

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