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softmafia · 3 years

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Hisoka relationship headcanons

I’m literally in love with him he’s the reason I keep going👹

warnings: nsfw

UPDATEDand betterVERSION: here

•despite popular belief I think that he would be 100% loyal, he’s just a really touch starved individual. I feel like since his knowledge on romance tropes on Greed Island, he watches a lot of romance movies in his free time, poor lad.

•he will bring you on missions with him, he doesn’t care if it’s required or not. I don’t really see Hisoka as the type to just leave his s/o alone for even 2 minutes, he will either bring you with him out of anxiety, or to show off ur strength(considering you/ur self insert is rlly strong, why else would Hisoka take interest in you?)

•he’s an amazing cook, for real this French man(he’s French deal with it) can cook you anything and it could taste like Heaven as a fucking food.

•he loves styling your hair, especially braiding it. He grew up with one sister so he learned how to braid hair because their mother was never around and their father didn’t want anything to do with them.

•he’s very very persistent with his shit but if anything would even risk putting you in danger for 1 second he would drop everything and protect you.

•you’re the only person he ever lets see himself without his crusty the clown makeup(intentionally at least)

•he expresses his emotions with cards, on your first movie date he got so nervous he dipped in the middle of it while you were getting drinks, when you got home you noticed there was a single queen of hearts card in your purse, it was confusing to you but to him it signified how important you were to him

•Pet names, very, VERY, sappy pet names, holy shit this motherfucker overuses them and eats them up. He will call you every lovey dovey cutesie name in the book no matter how corny or cheesy it is.

•PDA all the way, this dude will cradle you in public he does not care. Illumi is so annoyed whenever he’s in a room with the two of you, you two are literally on each other like animals it’s insane how close two people can physically be.

•Will let you do his face paint. Man gets tired doing it by himself all the time

•He does get jealous a lot, but not the usual “grrr I’m jealous I’m yandere I’m going to hide y/n away forever” like everyone thinks, it’s more of an anxious; “please I know I’m not the best, but I really do love you and I don’t wanna loose what we have, if there’s anything I can do I’ll do it please y/n I love you so much I don’t want you to think of me as a monster like everyone else does.” Type jealousy. Ofc you love this man to death you’ll comfort the hell out of him.

•teasing of course, he will tease the hell out of you for everything, your sneeze, your yawn, the way you scream when he puts his cold ass hands on your back for no reason, he loves teasing

•he will always have you do something with your nen, whatever it may be. If he’s too lazy to kill somebody: he’ll get you. If somebody hurt his feelings: he’ll get you. If he needs to open a jar of Mayo: he’ll get you. He loves seeing your nen in action

•long story short, your dynamic is like Fluttercord

NSFW

my gawd

•Anal? Anal. Why does he like anal so much? I don’t know, he could literally do anal forever if he could, he will literally fuck your ass until it’s red and puffy he will eat that up(literally)

•he wouldn’t necessarily do hardcore public sex(unless it’s his annual horny day) but he will slip a hand around your waist and cup your asscheek

•Sex is never boring with him, he literally comes up with some new hardcore sex scheme every time you guys do the deed(which is like; every hour if we’re being honest) you didn’t know there were so many sex possibilities

•despises threesomes/gang bangs/and orgies, he wants you all to himself. If he even does muster up the courage to offer one, he’ll get anxious before anybody gets their clothes off and just sit at the end of the bed pouting, after killing that other somebody with a card of course.

•more teasing of course, his favorite move is when he grazes the tip of his 9 inch long sloppy throbbing cock against your clit, he loves seeing you squirm and stroke his shaft with your delicate fingers

•pet play that’s all I gotta say. Mans even bought a dog bowl and sharpied your name on it.

•Toys? All you can imagine baby. For real this man has everything, Adam and Eve? He’s a premium member. Bad Dragon? Xxl. Buttplugs with tails?? He moans at the sight of them. This man has everything and will not hesitate to stuff your holes(i physically recoiled writing this, but it’s for king Hisoka)

•this man is loud as fuck, he is not scared to moan at all. One time while Illumi was waiting for you two to get ready for a mission, he was left sitting in the living room dying inside for an hour as he listened to Hisoka’s whale noises

•I’m in love with the idea that Hisoka is French, he will dirty talk in French. Quite literally “speaking French between your legs”.

9 inch throbbing bungee cock

#hisoka x you #hisoka x reader #hisoka #hisoka morrow x reader #hisoka morrow #hunter x hunter #hunter x 2011 #adult trio x reader #x reader #hisoka x y/n #hxh imagines #hxh 2011 #hxh hisoka #hunter x hunter headcanons #hunter x hunter hisoka #hisoka headcanons #BooNsfw

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floraisann · 4 years

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eighteen

➣ ateez 9th member au

➣ warnings: a couple of curse words because jinju + yeosang = chaos

➣ genre: honestly idk since yongju starts all in His Feels™ then because ateez it gradually dissolves into chaos sooooo maybe angstxcrack??? 🤠

➣ word count: 2,317 words (how did i even accomplish this 😳)

➣ summary: it’s yongju’s birthday!! though the question is... who’s gonna tell the others?

➣ main masterlist

➣ yongju’s masterlist 🐉

➣ author’s note: i’m aware that it’s approaching noon on the 29th in korea as i’m posting this, but where i am, it’s still the 28th, meaning it’s still a valid time to post this. so anyways, happy birthday to my firstborn mr. lim yongju 🥺😭 he is my BABIE and i can’t wait until i can actually develop his character further sdkfnvsijn

❅♩♬♩❅――

“I'm tired of the city, scream if you're with me If I'm gonna die, let's die somewhere pretty, ah”

It wasn’t that Yongju’s mindless singing was a rare, unwelcome occurrence in the dorms— in fact, the ATEEZ members had grown so accustomed to the sound of his voice that the halls felt empty in the few hours where both Jongho and their new maknae were silent. Rather the thing that was making the members uncomfortable was the lyrics leaving their youngest’s lips as well as his tone.

Homesickness. The cold, empty feeling in your chest as you long for a home that is no longer yours. That’s what it was. That’s what Yongju was feeling, singing as to distract from the sentiment.

A sigh leaves Yongju’s lips as he pauses the track halfway through the first verse, the raindrops against the window somehow only working to magnify the desolate misery in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t the first birthday he’d spent away from his family (SM hadn’t exactly allowed him to travel back for the special occasion in those thirty months spent hoping for debut with his SMRookies friends), and of course, his relatives had all sent him countless birthday wishes earlier on in the day, but it was still the first birthday he’d spent completely away from any family.

Lim Jinju. His annoying twin sister who, as the title implied, shared birthdays with him. Every year prior to the present one, even if they couldn’t celebrate with their families, at least they had each other. Perhaps her absence was just what was making him feel so miserable. Yongju couldn’t call himself outgoing by any means— often disappearing from others’ eyes hours at a time in order to recharge his rapidly depleting social battery— but it was always in the presence of such… chaotic figures that he felt able to let go.

“Do the members even know my birthday…?” He whispers, his words disappearing within the confines of the dark, empty dorm room. Wooyoung and Yeosang along with several more of the members had left for the company building to get some additional practice hours in to prepare for some upcoming schedules. The only members that stayed with him at the dorms were Seonghwa and Jongho, both of whom were unfortunately injured.

Tired, Yongju let himself flop onto his side, the headboard loudly clicking against the wall before rocking to a stop. “What am I so tired for…?” He mumbles to himself, squinting at the sudden brightness of his phone as he unlocks it. “I haven’t even done anything today.” His thumb hovers over the ‘call’ button for a few seconds as he considers calling home. The thought soon leaves him once more as he groans, shifting onto his back.

“Ah, my head hurts.”

Sleep quickly finds the young boy, its grip firm against him as he’s forced to succumb to his drowsiness. It’s restless, but still, it’s much needed. For the first time in days, Yongju can stop thinking.

♩♪♫♬⇝

“I think he might like the vanilla cake.” Hongjoong softly mutters to San, who stands hunched over, carefully inspecting the contents of the store’s bakery counter to find the perfect treat for their later celebration.

San gently shakes his head, not tearing his eyes from the iced treats as he replies to his elder in a semi-hushed voice. “Vanilla? No that’s too basic even if he is kinda plain. I vote chocolate.”

“Vanilla is basic and chocolate isn’t?” Wooyoung scoffs. “Chocolate is probably the most basic cake flavor to ever come into existence.”

“Everyone shut up, let’s get him carrot cake.”

The members all turn to Mingi, incredulous looks on their faces as they question his words.

Wooyoung is the first to explode. “You absolute HEATHEN do you want him to think we hate him?”

“I was just making a suggestion!—”

“—Wait guys!” Yeosang’s call quickly breaks the chaos as his bandmates turn, not wanting to speak over him. “I have—” He stops himself to laugh into his sweater-covered palm. “—Guys, I got Jinju’s number. Should I ask what kind of cake he’d want?”

The expressions on his members’ faces quickly shift from incredulous to exasperated and Yeosang finds that he can only laugh, giggling as he scrolls to his phone contacts to find ‘Lim Jinju’

“Yeosang,” Yunho finally begins. “You’re telling me that this whole time we were arguing, including the entire car ride to this place—” He stops, closing his eyes as he presses his fingers against his temples. “You had contact with Jinju?”

The accused blonde simply flashes a toothy grin as he extends his arm to show off the newly added contact in his phone. “Okay—” He quickly retracts, looking down at the said contact. “I’m being completely honest here— I actually forgot I had her contact since I just got it last night and entirely by chance too!”

Wooyoung blinks. “Yeosang, what you mean, sir?”

Grinning, Yeosang quickly locks his phone, clapping his hand over the screen as he launches into his story. “Okay! So you know how Yongju always falls asleep while on his phone, right? Yeah! So last night after I showered, I came back to the room and he was asleep, probably on accident too, because the episode of ‘Free!’ he was watching was only half finished.”

“Where are you going with this?” San interjects, Hongjoong quickly shushing him.

“Okay, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, when I was walking past him, I noticed his phone was on like, maybe two percent battery? So being a good roommate, I decided to charge it for him. So when I grabbed his phone, I had the sudden realization that since it was unlocked, the options available to me were endless! So in the end, I both charged his phone and saved Jinju’s number to my contacts for safekeeping.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you suck at ending stories?” Wooyoung flatly questions. Yeosang is quick to glare through his blonde locks, eliciting a few laughs from the other members.

“Well either way, that safekeeping purpose ended up being fulfilled much earlier than expected, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be calling Miss Lim Jinju!”

Before anyone can react, Yeosang’s phone is unlocked, and the familiar ‘calling’ chime rings in their ears.

“Put her on speaker!” Hongjoong instructs, and Yeosang is quick to comply.

“Hello?” Jinju’s strong and clear voice reverberates around them after the third ring, and there’s a momentary bout of chaos as all six men present attempt to greet her at the same time.

“Happy birthday, Jinju!” Wooyoung hollers directly into the speaker.

“What are you all so loud for?” She whines. “I swear you just gave me hearing loss— anyways, I hope I’m not the first twin you’re screaming at because last time I checked, the other June twenty-eight born lad literally lives with you.”

“Well, that’s kinda why we called, you June twenty-eight born lass, you know?” Yunho weakly sings into the speaker, causing a few odd glances from the shop’s workers.

“What could you— Oh!” Yeosang flinches, pushing the phone further away from his face as Jinju yells. “Wait I know exactly why you called! Okay, so be very mindful of Yongju’s taste buds because they’re kinda fucked, and he hates chocolate cake.”

“See! I told you!” Mingi hollers, Wooyoung being quick to slap him across the back of his head as he quips a fast, “You didn’t tell us shit, mr. carrot cake!” back.

“Stop fighting!” Hongjoong scolds, lightly punching Mingi on the shoulder. “Anyways, Jinju, if he doesn’t like chocolate, what should we buy him?”

There’s a brief silence as the twin contemplates her answer, the six members present leaning close to the phone as they make their own guesses as to what Yongju would like. “I’m pretty sure the last time we had cake he really liked the red velvet.”

The members immediately disperse, different degrees of self-disappointment on their faces, save Yeosang, who had begun to softly sing the chorus of ‘Red Flavor’ by Red Velvet.

“Why is it that no one guessed red velvet, yet one of us idiots managed to come up with the idea that Yongju would want carrot cake?” Wooyoung finally asks.

“It’s because we’re all clowns,” San starts, turning away as Hongjoong goes to purchase the small red velvet cake. “And Yongju just so happens to be the circus director.”

❅♩♬♩❅――

“Yongju, wake up!” The boy in question blinks awake, disoriented, as Seonghwa gently shakes him conscious. “Sorry we couldn’t let you keep sleeping, but the managers want you, Jongho, and me over to the company for some last minute evaluation… thing,” He explains.

Yongju sleepily yawns into his hand, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he asks, “What time is it now?”

“It’s 3pm,” His elder quickly answers. “They want me there earlier so I’m heading off now, but the managers are gonna bring you and Jongho over in an hour or so.” He then smiles, lovingly pinching the youngest on the cheek. “Freshen yourself up before then, alright? I’ll see you soon.”

As Seonghwa leaves, Yongju forces himself into a sitting position, dazed, yet trying his hardest to force himself fully awake. Finally, he kicks his legs over the side of his bed, padding straight over to the bathroom to put on some makeup. He was an idol now. He had to at least try to look alive.

♩♪♫♬⇝

“Guys, hurry up! Jongho and Yongju are gonna be here any minute now!” San whines, rocking on his heels.

Seonghwa immediately stops his work in arranging streamers on the wall to glare at the younger boy, who in response, flashes him a wide grin. “If you’re so concerned about us not finishing in time, you could help, yeah?” He rolls his eyes. “I’m literally injured and I’m doing more than you.”

“I’m the supervisor!” He happily sings. “I’m here to make sure you guys are doing your work the right way!”

“What time is it anyways?” Hongjoong quietly mutters. “How much time do we got until they get here?”

“It is,” Yunho begins in a sing-song voice. “It is exactly 4pm at this moment.”

The boys all turn back to Seonghwa as a small choking noise leaves his throat. “Why didn’t you say anything? Jongho told me he’d get Yongju here by four o’clock sharp!”

“Yeah, and I have some news.” Yeosang announces, glancing down at his phone as he calls all the attention to himself. “Jongho just texted the old group chat saying they’re getting out of the car now.”

“I told you this would happen!” Seonghwa yells, all of the balloons they had purchased for the event in his hand as he runs to place them. “This is why I asked all of you to keep track of the time!”

♩♪♫♬⇝

“Do you know what we’re filming?” Yongju softly asks Jongho as they approach the practice room. “Are we filming a dance practice for ‘On’?”

Jongho lets a puff of air escape his lips as he shrugs at the question. “They probably wouldn’t have brought me or Seonghwa here if that were the case since we didn’t even dance in that stage.”

“Good point,” Yongju comments, nodding. “But is there anything else we could film? There was nothing in the schedule for today either.”

Jongho simply shakes his head once more. “I really don’t have the slightest clue.”

The pair stops as they reach the practice room, and for once Yongju notices the lack of light coming through the semi-transparent door.

“Are you sure this is the right room?” He asks his bandmate, frowning as he steps into the pitch black expanse. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen the main practice area this dark…”

“Well, the managers told me—”

He’s cut off as the lights flash on and the other seven members’ faces are exposed.

“Happy birthday, maknae!” Wooyoung screams, his high tone easily slicing its way through the babble of the others as they begin singing him a happy birthday.

He can’t help but take a few steps back, his hands flying to his mouth as his eyes fill with tears of… happiness? surprise?

“Why are you running away?” Jongho asks, his hand still draped across the younger’s shoulder as he pushes him closer to the cake.

He smiles, standing somewhat awkwardly as Yeosang places the cake in his arms and he tries his best not to drop it, eyes lighting up as he notices the cake’s color.

They all applaud, urging him to quickly make a wish so he could blow out the candle and enjoy the treat.

Well, what did he want to wish for?

His life situation had taken a drastic turn in the last nine months. It wasn’t just that his thirty four month trainee period had finally drawn to a close. Finally, Yongju had friends, or rather eight brothers and countless fans who he was beginning to truly feel comfortable enough to be completely himself in front of without fear of judgement. And on top of that, he was able to get this far without giving up anything he loved.

He made it. For the first time in the nine months Yongju had spent with ATEEZ, he could finally feel the full effects of the word ‘success’.

He wants it to last.

The members all happily cheer as he blows out the candle, and he flinches away from San’s aggressive shows of affection. Despite the secondhand embarrassment he should be feeling first and foremost as the eight of them act— well— so wholeheartedly themselves, he’s distracted by the warmth he feels in his stomach as well as a sudden burst of energy as he finds he wants to mess around just as he would with Jinju back home.

Yongju debuted. Yongju had a family. Yongju had success.

#ateez #atzinc #kpopuniversenet #ateez 9th member #ateez reactions #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez writing #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez yongju

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neerasrealm · 3 years

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Trick and Treating

In which Laughing Jack finds a boy crying while taking his daughters trick or treating. He decides to try and cheer the kid up and make his Halloween a little better. wdym its november 3rd halloween lasts two months because i said so

Word Count: 2869

"C'mon pops!"

"Awrigh', awrigh'! Slow down!"

"C'mon Slendra! This next neighborhood is always really good!"

The two girls, Slendra and Sally, a pair of sisters, ran as quick as they could around the block. Though it was dark out, the night was full of life and laughter. Kids, younger and older than them, made their way from house to house, picking up candy from strangers. Everyone around them was dressed in a costume of some kind. Super heroes, spiders, skeletons, you name it. Of course, the girls were dressed in costumes too. Slendra, the taller but younger of the two, was dressed as a witch. She wore a long black dress with a purple band tied around her waist, fastened with a silver buckle. Her hat was much the same, and it sat atop her head of blonde hair. Sally, on the other hand, was dressed as her favorite cartoon character. The skintaker. Her face was covered in makeup to make her look like a skeleton, and she wore a long robe that was quilted together with different coloured patches. She had a hat that was the same pattern as her robe. Both of them had been handmade by her other dad, and she adored it.

‘’C’mere ye li’le rascal!’’

‘’EEK-!’’ Slendra was grabbed by the back of her dress and yanked back into big, soft arms that hugged her tight. She shrieked and giggled, thrashing in the hug. ‘’Pops! Lemme go!’’

Of course, the girls weren’t alone on Halloween. No, they had their pops with them. Laughing Jack. Looking at him, you’d assume he’d managed to find the coolest scary clown costume one could hope for, with sharp bony hands, wispy black hair, jagged teeth and bandages wrapped around his torso, but no. He looked like that year round. In fact, Jack hadn’t even bothered with a costume. The only thing he had added to himself tonight was a white bird mask strapped to his face. It obscured the top part of his face, which really just made him scarier.

He laughed a bit and squeezed his daughter in his arms. ‘’Stop runnin’ off on me! If ye ge’ lost yer da will kill me.’’ he replied with a grin. Slendra giggled again and looked up to see her sister Sally. However, instead of standing in front of them waiting for Jack to release her sister, Sally was sitting on the sidewalk a little further up, talking to someone. ‘’Eh?’’ Jack withdrew his arms and stood up. He and Slendra walked over to Sally and stopped next to her.

She was sitting next to a young boy, dressed in a blue ripped jacket, a black and white striped shirt and black pants. The green face paint on his face was smudged, especially around his eyes. Sally pat his back and frowned. ‘’Hey, it’s okay.’’ she said gently. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

The boy sniffled and let out a breathy sob. ‘’I-I was chasing these b-boys that stole my ca-candy a-and now I’m l-lost-’’ he inhaled sharply before breaking into tears again. Sally frowned and hugged the boy. Jack crouched down beside him and pat his head.

‘’Calm down kiddo…’’ he murmured. The boy looked up and stared at him in surprise. ‘’Some’ne stole yer candy?’’

The boy nodded. ‘’I was with my friends b-but they went to another neighborhood and I wasn’t allowed go with them s-so I started walking home but then these boys on bikes came by and took my bag,’’ the boy whimpered and wiped at his eyes. He seemed to be calming down significantly, thanks to Sally. ‘’I chased them but...now I’m lost.’’ he curled up, hugging his knees. Jack looked horrified that someone would do something like that, and to a small kid no less. He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a packet of tissues.

‘’Ere, kiddo,’’ he took out a tissue and gave it to the boy. He sniffled and wiped at his face. ‘’Ye’re lost?’’

‘’Mhm.’’ the boy looked around. ‘’I don’t know how to get home��’’

Jack looked from the boy to his two girls. He looked back at the boy and gave him a reassuring smile. ‘’We’ll take ye ‘ome, kiddo.’’ he said, reaching into his sleeve. He pulled out some candy and held it out to the surprised looking boy. ‘’Ere, i’s no’ a lo’, bu’ i’ should make up a bi’ fer th’ stuff ye lost.’’

The boy looked at Jack’s outstretched hand and broke into a grin. He took the candies, shyly unwrapping one of them and tossing it into his mouth. ‘’Thank you.’’ he murmured. Jack smiled and grabbed the boy, lifting him up and putting him on his shoulders. The boy blinked in surprise.

‘’Can ye see okay up there, lad?’’ Jack asked. The boy grinned.

‘’Uh-huh!’’ he glanced around. ‘’You’re real tall, mister.’’

‘’Jus’ call me Jackie, kiddo.’’

As the four of them walked the boy talked with them more. Jack learned that his name was Jeremy, and he lived with just his mother. He hadn’t gone trick or treating last year, or the year before. He’d been sick the past couple of years, and still wasn’t fully recovered, so trick or treating was a big thing for him. Which just made it worse when you considered what had happened to him. Jack knew he had to do something about it- he wasn’t going to let this poor boy have his halloween ruined for him.

‘’There’s the place!’’

‘’Ah!’’ Jack looked up to where the boy on his shoulders was pointing. The neighborhood they were in didn’t have many decorated houses. The one Jeremy was pointing to, however, was covered in decorations and bright lights. Jack smiled a bit as he walked up the garden path after Slendra and Sally. The girls knocked on the door as Jack put Jeremy down. The door was pulled open, and they were greeted by an older lady with brown hair that was starting to grey at the roots. She wore a long black dress, a big collar around her neck, and a pair of fake fangs. In her hands she held a large, flowery bowl that was filled with candy. She smiled sweetly at the girls for a moment before surprise crossed her face. Then she broke into a wider smile.

‘’Jeremy! Oh there you are, I was starting to get worried!’’ she put the bowl down on a table inside the hall as her son stepped forward and hugged her legs. She pat his head lovingly. ‘’Did you have fun?’’

‘’Mmm…’’

She frowned and looked up, finally noticing Jack. He waved a tiny bit. ‘’Heya, I’m Jack,’’ he murmured. ‘’We found ‘im a couple a blocks away...some older kids stole ‘is bag.’’

Jeremy’s mother looked horrified. ‘’They did...?’’ she asked. Jack nodded. ‘’Oh that’s terrible-!’’ she looked down at her son. ‘’Oh pet- are you okay?’’

‘’I’m okay…’’ Jeremy murmured. He pointed up at Jack. ‘’Jackie brought me home, and he gave me some candy.’’ he smiled a bit. Jack tilted his head.

‘’I was wond’rin’, miss, if maybe I could take yer lad wiv us fer th’ nigh’. ‘E can ge’ sum more candy an’ stick aroun’ wiv sum kids ‘is own age.’’

‘’Oh?’’ Jeremy’s mother looked surprised for a moment. She looked down at her son, a little worried. ‘’I don’t know…’’

‘’Please?’’ Jeremy asked. He stared up at his mother hopefully. ‘’Jackie is real nice! And he already has kids with him so we should be okay!’’

She looked up at Jack for a moment, then sighed. ‘’...okay. But don’t take him too far away from home! And I want him back before nine.’’

Jack gave a nod. ‘’Absolu’ely.’’

After cleaning and fixing up Jeremy’s makeup, Jack, Sally and Slendra wasted no time raiding every house in the surrounding neighborhood. Jeremy quickly learned that these three took Halloween very seriously. Constantly on the move, trying to get the best candy possible, they talked about what house they’d target next like it was some kind of big important mission. It was actually exhausting, especially for him, but the girls excited energy was contagious. It didn’t take long at all for Jeremy to fill up the bag LJ had given him. Then a second one. Then a third. He walked slowly, dragging the heavy bags with him as the girls ran ahead of him and LJ.

‘’Ey kiddo?’’ LJ asked above him. Jeremy looked up. ‘’Ye want me ta take yer bags fer ya? They look ‘eavy.’’ Jeremy stopped and nodded, giving LJ two of his bags. He took them, holding them like they weighed nothing. It was weird- Sally and Slendra both had five bags each yet they didn’t seem to struggle at all! Maybe Jeremy was just weaker than he thought-

‘’Pops!’’ Sally called ahead of them. Jack looked up at the girl, who was pointing ahead. In the distance, they could see a large fire. She grinned. ‘’There’s a bonfire! Can we go see it?’’

Jack smiled a bit. ‘’Sure kiddo.’’ he replied. The girls ran forward, with Jack and Jeremy sauntering calmly after them. The bonfire was surrounded by tons of teenagers who were yelling, hollering, dancing and drinking. Jeremy stuck close to Jack’s leg. Bigger kids had always scared him, and these ones looked like they were what his mother would call ‘hooligans’.

‘’Hey! Jack!’’ someone called from a bit further away from the bonfire. Jeremy looked up and over at where the voice came from. He saw Slendra and Sally run off away from the fire.

‘’Shoulda known…’’ Jack murmured above him. He turned and started walking off after the girls. Jeremy followed quickly, not wanting to be left alone around so many older kids. Jack stopped in front of a small group of kids. Four boys and one girl. They all looked to be in their mid to late teens, and were sitting in a circle with a bag of candy in between each of their legs. In the centre of the circle was a box filled with cans of beer. ‘’Evenin’, kids.’’ Jack greeted.

‘’Hey guys!’’ one of the boys, who had blonde hair and was dressed in a Luigi costume chirped. His eyes were a bright, shiny blue that looked almost like lights.

‘’Hi Ben!’’ Slendra greeted, bouncing on her heels. Sally abruptly dropped her bags and looked at the group, her hands on her hips.

‘’You guys can have anything you want from these bags in exchange for your butterfingers. Except the m&ms, sour patch kids and twixes. Those are mine.’’ she said, sounding more like a bossy older sister than a ten year old girl dressed as a cartoon character. The group all rolled their eyes and began digging through their bags.

‘’Evury year…’’ another of the boys muttered. He had ginger hair that hung over one of his eyes, and was pretty skinny. He was dressed in a Mario costume that matched the other boy’s. He also sounded like he was drunk. Or maybe it was an accent.

The boy sitting across from Ben, the boy in the Luigi costume, took a swig from his can of beer and looked at Jeremy for a long moment. He was intimidating. His skin was pure white, probably makeup, with big scars on either side of his face. His eyes were deep and sunken, but stared straight into little Jeremy. He was wearing a vampire costume, with a big collar and everything. His scary eyes flicked up to LJ. ‘’You’re stealing kids again?’’

‘’I’m no’ stealin’ ‘im, ‘is ma wuz givin’ ‘im away wiv th’ candy!’’ Jack retorted. The boy cracked a smile and barked a laugh. He looked at Jeremy and smiled.

‘’Nice costume kid.’’ he said. Jeremy blinked in surprise.

‘’Y-you too,’’ he murmured. ‘’Your makeup is great...you’re really scary.’’

The teen smile. ‘’Aw, thanks!’’ he grinned. ‘’I’m Jeff, by the way. Uhhh-’’ he turned to his friends. ‘’That’s Ben, that’s Bryce,’’ he gestured to the boys in the Mario and Luigi costumes. ‘’That’s Emily,’’ he pointed to the girl, who was dressed as Princess Peach, complete with blonde wig and everything. ‘’And that’s Ethan.’’ he pointed to the last boy. He wore a white hoodie, black shorts, and a backwards baseball cap. His skin was green, and looked rotten. His purple hair hung over one of his crimson eyes. He must’ve had contacts in or something.

Jack frowned. ‘’Wha’s yer costume supposeta be, Ethan?’’

‘’A dead teenager.’’

‘’...oh.’’

"It's nice to meet you all." Jeremy murmured. Jeff looked back at him and smiled. He held out his hand.

"You too kid." The two shook hands. When Jeremy pulled his hand away, he realised Jeff had managed to slip a small piece of candy into it. Oh! Wow- these older kids were...nice.

"So wha're you's all doin'?" Jack asked as he watched Sally raid the other kid's bags for butterfingers and reese's cups.

"Oh, the usual," Ben replied as Slendra traded him a small box of smarties for a bag of jellybeans. "A bit of trick or treating, hanging out by a bonfire, doing a little drinking…"

"A lot of drinking in Bryce's case." Ethan added as he dug through his own bag of candy. He pulled out a bag of peanuts and sighed defeatedly before reluctantly opening it.

"And after," Jeff continued with a wide smile. He reached over and grabbed a black duffel bag from beside him. "We're gonna cause a little chaos. Some tricking with our treating, if you will." He added with a wink.

Jeremy's eyes widened. Oh- he should've expected that from them honestly, but still. Trouble-making teens were something his mother always told him to avoid. Jack pursed his lips. "You's be'er be careful. You's don't 'ave fireworks, do ya?"

"Nah, nah." Ben shook his head. "just harmless stuff. Eggs, toilet paper, spray paint-"

"We go' fiirecrrackerrrsss." Bryce slurred out. Ben shot him a glare. Jack sighed.

"Be careful, awrigh'?" He murmured. The teens all nodded. Sally turned and walked back over to her bags. She deposited the results of her trading into a couple of them and gave a satisfied 'hmph!'. Jack looked down at her. "Ye finished, girlies?"

"Yep!" Slendra and Sally both chirped. Jack chuckled a bit. The teens got to their feet, slinging their candy bags over their shoulders. Jeff picked up his duffel bag and caught Jeremy's anxious stare. He smiled and winked at the boy reassuringly.

"We'd better head out," he said. "It's getting late." Jeff gestured to Jeremy. "I think you should be heading home kid. All the teens will be hitting the streets soon too. Don't want you getting hurt or picked on."

Jeremy gave a slight nod. He still wasn't sure if this older boy was nice or a troublemaker. Slendra turned and looked at the bonfire. She smirked, then pulled her hands up. She clapped them together loudly, and with a louder 'fwoosh!' the massive bonfire suddenly extinguished itself. There was a chorus of shocked gasps and general confusion from the teens that had been enjoying the fire's warmth moments prior. Jack whirled around and stared.

"Slendra!" He hissed, looking down at the girl. "Don't do tha'! No' 'ere!"

Jeremy stared at the blonde girl. "How did you do that?!" He gasped. She turned to him and gave him a wide smile.

"I'm a witch." She replied with a sly wink. Jeremy's eyes widened. He thought it was just a costume! Jack sighed above him and looked around at the group.

"Nobody tell Slender abou' this." He said, pointing a boney black finger at nobody in particular.

"We won't as long as you don't tell him we were drinking and playing with firecrackers."

"Deal." Jack replied. He reached down and picked Jeremy up, putting the boy on his shoulders again. "Now make yerselves scarce, ya 'ear me?"

The teens smiled and nodded. As they began to walk away Jeff turned back one last time and gave the four of them a wave before turning around and jogging over to catch up with the others. Jack looked down at his two girls.

"C'mon you's two. I fink we've done good t'nigh', eh?"

"Awwwe- but it's only eight thirty!" Sally protested. Jack shook his head.

"Sorry lass, bu' ye know we go'a ge' our friend back b'fore nine. And if ye come 'ome wiv more'n five bags yer da will flip 'is lid." He replied. Sally sighed defeatedly. "C'mon." Jack turned and began walking off. Jeremy looked down at him.

"Hey Jackie?" He asked softly.

"Yeh, kiddo?"

"...are you guys monsters?" He asked. "Real ones? That come out on Halloween, like in the movies?"

Jack looked up at him for a long moment. He smiled a bit. "...ye're a smar' one, ain'tcha?" He said softly. "Yeh, we are. We usually 'ide away from you's 'umans. 'Alloween is th' nigh' we stop 'idin'." He smiled up at the boy. "You won't tell any'ne, righ'?"

Jeremy nodded. "I won't." He murmured. He rested his head in Jack's soft black hair and smiled tiredly. "Thanks for letting me spend Halloween with you."

"Anyfin' fer you, kiddo." Jack replied softly. "I'm glad ye 'ad fun."

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta hc #creepypasta oc #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #laughing jack #writing #slendra jackson #sally williams #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #ben drowned #lost silver #sonic.exe #tails doll #bryce bryson

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franthetutor · 6 years

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Laurel, Yanni and McGurk: Why your life is a lie

Update: I’m not dead! I know I haven’t been posting regularly. I’m sorry. It’s down to two things really: a) I’ve been very busy with the new job and b) I’ve frankly really struggled to find any kind of inspiration lately - I suppose that’s what happens when your life is taken over by your job. And you’re an auditor.

But this week this whole Yanni/Laurel brought about a bit of a brainwave - not least because it’s done nothing but do my nut in. Literally every one of my social media feeds is infected with these words. Apart from Twitter - but only because it contains an option to mute words - but even then I’m still swamped by the overhyped, equally annoying sequel: green needle/brainstorm.

However, as with most things I hate, I’m going to put my back into this.

A few things are going to happen in the next few minutes: we’re going to unpack the explanations behind these phenomena, and then I’m going to try to shatter your perception of the world.

The Yanni/Laurel thing has now been confirmed as an aural phenomenon: if you were to plot the frequencies present in the recording against time, much like something you’d get on Audacity or any other kind of audio-editing software, you would see that this clip is made up of a mixture of high and low frequency tones. Yanni is formed from the higher frequencies. Laurel is characterised by lower frequencies. It’s like listening to what are essentially two different tracks of music that have been overlaid. If your ear is more attuned to higher frequencies (perhaps the younger among you), or you’re the kind of animal that turns down the bass on your speakers, you’re going to hear Yanni. The vast majority of people however hear Laurel, because, well, we’re older.

Now we come to Laurel’s little sister: green-needle/brainstorm. She’s a little smarter, a tad more interesting and she was allowed to wear makeup from a younger age. What you can hear in this recording can be changed depending on simply the word you’re looking at when you hear it, which is much more than a physical phenomenon - it’s a psychological one. We know something to be true - that we’re hearing the same sound each time, but our perception of it changes. This is interesting for two reasons: firstly, on a psychological level it helps us to dissect how our brains work, and secondly, more importantly, it proves to us that objective truth is a fallacy.

Green needle/brainstorm is a slightly more evolved example of the McGurk effect, which is a widely known and studied phenomenon where your brain can interpret the same audio/visual recording as two different sounds depending on the context it’s given. This context often comes in the form of a visual cue, which is much better explained by the folks at Horizon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-lN8vWm3m0. Ultimately it comes about because of the top-down processing in our brains. What does this mean? Well, effectively our brains process a whole load of information all at once, and uses its analysis of this to work out the most probable explanation of our current circumstances to make sense of the world. For example, imagine you’re on safari. There’s not a cloud in the sky, you’ve got the sunroof down and you’re driving through a woody looking area. You hear a dense flock of startled birds swiftly fly out of the branches above you as your jeep slams through the undergrowth. They’re so close you can feel the beat of their wings in the air around you, and suddenly you feel something cold drip onto your hair and down your neck.

You’ve surely been shat on.

You look up and see a monkey peering down at you from the sunroof, drooling.

But for a second, you believed you’d been shat on, well, because you hadn’t noticed the monkey. Hey, we’re not perfect.

Additionally your analysis often relies on the outcomes of events that it’s seen before and it projects these probabilities on the current situation in order to work out what’s going on. For example, if you’ve had a horrid cough before and went to the GP, who told you it was pneumonia, the next time you get a cough you’re more likely to think it’s pneumonia again, even though that’s actually quite unlikely. The McGurk effect combines these two analytical phenomena. Most of the time you hear a hard “k” sound and seen a particular mouth shape, it’s turned out to be a word starting with that letter. But if that same exact sound is accompanied by a “g” mouth shape, your brain goes “Well, based on past experience, that word must begin with a G”.

TLDR: we can easily trick ourselves, and others based on the subset and quality of information we allow ourselves to see.

As well as being a fun illusion, like all other illusions it highlights something more insidious: we’re all primed for bias - it’s inherently how our brain deals with the mound of information it receives every single millisecond of every day. If we didn’t skip straight to conclusions we’d end up overthinking everything and ultimately not taking any action. Evolutionarily speaking, our ancestors would have died if they didn’t spring into action on hearing twigs breaking, assuming it was indicative of an imminent attack. The benefit of catching our predators pre-arrack vastly outweighed the excess energy expended on false alarms. Out of our ancestors, those who were the quickest to leap into action on hearing the quietest of sounds lived the longest. However, in modern day terms this kind of cranial processing doesn’t work as well. Sure, based on he gait of the person in front of you at Kings Cross, you might predict they’re going to take a hard swerve left to the Victoria line and you can use that information to prevent an embarrassing collision. I’m not saying this fundamental system of processing doesn’t have its merits - I’m just saying it has fewer: we don’t spend every waking moment fending off predators any more, because we’ve built infrastructure, terraformed land, driven predators out of their natural habitats and evolved societies that provide you with security against dangerous individuals in return for a cut of your income.

So we find ourselves in conflict. We have brains that are used to using whatever information is conveniently available and pre-existing knowledge to judge, but vastly reduced the need for that judgement. We’ve also reduced the benefits of this judgement - if anything it’s often frowned upon. We’ve developed a new term for unnecessary judgement: prejudice. And we often think we’re well aware of our own prejudices and can therefore escape them - but I’m here to tell you that the vast majority of us can’t. Take this for example:

Try to memorise these words: Adventure, curious, sun, brave, clean, friendly, ocean, white, fruit, learn, free, wholesome, holiday, talented.

Now read this: Alan is making plans for his gap year. He wants to visit the South America but is struggling to fit that in with his plans to take part in a motorcross rally. He missed it the year before because he broke his leg in the practice round. He needs to find his passport, which he lost on his last trip back from Bali and hopes his friend accidentally picked up. He also wants to visit India and needs to find time to move into his flat in Camden before he starts at his London uni.

What do you think of Alan?

What would you have thought had you memorised these words instead: Jealous, green, selfish, cocaine, petty, reckless, red, corrupt, idiot, lad, careless, clown, rude.

Go back and read the paragraph again - see what you think.

He might have seemed a bit of a gap yah wanker that time, methinks.

This is something called priming, which is an extension of the broken thinking we discussed earlier. It’s exactly how advertising works - we can’t help but associate things together when they’re close together, either spatially or temporally. You judged Alan because those lists of words made you linger on different sets of details in the narrative each time. If you start to form an opinion, you’re more likely to see details that reinforce them.

So what’s my point? I’ve just shown you that this kind of thinking is inescapable: you knew where this article was going and yet you likely painted a picture of two different Alans. I’ve told you that our brains are hard-wired for bias. That our perception of the world is inherently, inescapably warped. That we all have our blind spots. That we can convince ourselves of anything depending on what details we choose to notice. And that our choices of details are rooted in past experience. The logical conclusion of this is that as we get older, we get more biased. Something happens, we learn from it, maybe even form a slight opinion, we stumble across varied details in the subsequent hours, days, weeks of our lives, and out of these details our brains are primed to pick out those that are familiar, opinions and beliefs are justified and strengthened, our filter for details gets narrower, our opinion gets stronger, our blinkers come down even more, so on and so forth. Incidentally it’s eerily similar to how evolution works.

We’re built from bias.

This means that in order to even be able to grasp at objective truth, you have to work. Really work. Hard. And I think this is something that is totally overlooked in our current political climate. We all think that facts are facts - they’re not, simply by virtue of being beheld by us. We, these flawed, inherently biased networks of synapses in cages of bone and bags of skin. But we need to guard against this. No man is an island, and as a society we need to believe in the concept of objective truth, even if we accept we’ll never achieve it. If we don’t, we lose our baseline for discussion, leading to a society which is unable to sort opinion from fact: one in which radical, absurd and harmful ideas could propagate at the same speed as those more closely aligned with common sense, driven by whimsy. Truth is the tare weight for any battle of wits - without it, there could be no consensus.

So if we must believe in an objective truth, but can only ever see it through a glass, darkly, so to speak, how can we polish the lens?

This brings us full circle to audit, my bread and butter, and perhaps why the question of truth is at the front of my mind. Audit is fully preoccupied with objectivity and truth - firms drop clients and lose money because of it all the time. This is because our job is to take the draft financial statements a company prepares before they’re published and ensure that the figures in them haven’t just been made up, or tweaked. We need to assess whether the numbers show an adequately “true and fair” view of what’s happened to that company during the year. As with everything, we can never be 100% certain of the truth, or fairness of accounts, so we test the numbers to a reasonable level of assurance.

Believe it or not, there are a couple of aspects that are quite interesting about it:

Firstly, sampling. Much like biologists attempting to study animals in a large habitat, the feat of fully auditing every single transaction a company makes during the year is nigh on impossible. Instead we choose a representative sample of transactions and look at those in more detail to work out if they were recorded correctly. We’re always terrified of choosing the wrong number of transactions - if we audit too few, we might miss one large one which was fraudulent or recorded wrongly - one typo could change an overall profit to a loss. If I wasn’t thorough enough, I could lose my job over that.

Secondly, we rely heavily on the people running the audited company to tell us what happened during the year. If for example they failed to tell us that they underwent a huge merger, we might audit them against the wrong set of financial standards. We might think it’s all fine by those standards - but that’s a false positive. We used the wrong measure of truth, because we didn’t have all of the facts.

So why did I bother to tell you all this?

Because auditors measure truth for a living, and you might learn something from the highly discussed and regulated procedures we use day in, day out. The next time you find yourself judging something - anything, for that matter, however small - ask yourself these questions:

How much detail can I subtract from the situation before I change my view of it?

Is there a detail or perspective I’m missing because I’m being primed by my prior beliefs, assumptions or experiences?

If you find the threshold for Q1 and an example for Q2, you’ll be much closer to the truth than you were before.

You never know, you might end up finding truth in the most unlikely of places, and applying measured skepticism can lead to some of the most - sometimes surprising - eye-opening revelations. Those “MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE” moments. Never be afraid of disagreeing with your past opinions - it’s a sign of learning.

Some great resources:

On the illusion of pain, and how the perception of context guides belief: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3NmTE-fJSo

On humans as slightly wonky bipedal brain machines: Kluge - The haphazard evolution of the human mind, Gary Marcus

#yanni #laurel #green needle #brainstorm #illusion #truth #trump #politics #objectivity #philosophy #psychology #mcgurk #what do you hear #original #snaprevise

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seagullsausage · 3 years

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so anyways i think imma unlist all the videos on my channel so far,,,,,i dont really like them and i feel like they were more for “practice” where i try my hand at editing and stuff. i want the tone of my channel to be much different. horror themed, almost, but still crafty and still showing off my personality. weird music playing while i make bracelets and buttons. creepy jumpy editing while i review music and tv shows. my voice is distorted. my face......well, lets just say im going to the craft store to pick up some stuff 🎭

#hehehehehehehehe #idk if ill stick with this idea. but lads......i think imma make a channel like no other #yall know that izzyzz youtuber who always wears crazy clown makeup in all her videos??#yeah thats the vibe im going for #but with a slew of bizzare and strange masks 0w0 #idk. just feeling a bit self conscious about putting my real self on the internet #i like having this 'seagull' persona and not being silly old me if that makes sense #maybe one day ill go back to being a normal youtuber #but for now......its gonna get weird lads. its gonna get weird #hehehe

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neerasrealm · 3 years

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STAN LAUGHING DAD AT ALL TIMES dkfkkdkdkdkskd MY HEART IS FLUTTERING!!!!!!!! i promise this is the last request (maybe ffkfkd) pls PLS PRETTY PLS do sum where one of the twins has a secret boyfriend and suddenly starts to wear a bunch of makeup and style her hair all pretty and lj ends up finding out by seeing them together KFKFKDKDK IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN I LOVE YOU BYE

LAUGHING! DAD! LAUGHING! DAD! HIM DEALING WITH TEENAGE DAUGHTERS IS SO FUNNY TO ME I LOVE DOING THIS. I decided to use the names Juliette and Jasmine for these two (as suggested by another anon). This isn’t relevant but. hc that the daughter from the second story where jack had to comfort one of them was Juliette. Lowkey im making entire personalities for these two god help me enjoy :)

Laughing Jack thought of himself as a pretty good dad. He was loving and supportive of his two girls, and always had their backs. They were happy to go to him and tell him everything, and in return he always told them he loved them and supported them no matter what. But of course, he didn’t force them to do any of that. It was a matter of mutual love, mutual trust. Jack wasn’t an overbearing father, in fact, he was quite relaxed. He knew his girls could hold their own, and they lived in a mansion full of demons and serial killers! If anyone decided to pick on the girls, they’d live (and probably die) to regret it. So when he heard footsteps creeping down the stairs behind where he sat in his big comfy armchair, and someone tip-toeing towards the front door, he wasn’t expecting it to actually be one of his two twin daughters.

He looked over at the girl as she quietly creeped towards the front door. She was dressed in a red leather jacket, and under it Jack could see she was wearing a short black skirt and fishnet stockings along with red high heels he couldn’t remember seeing before. Her hair was done up elaborately, and she’d even curled it. Jack blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling and arching a brow. ‘’...Jasmine?’’ he called out. The girl jumped and whirled around to stare at her. Looking at her face, Jack could see she’d taken the time to put makeup on. She wore some simple red eyeshadow, black mascara and some sparkly red lipstick. Jack also noted her contour, which made her cheekbones look sharper and more noticeable than normal. He looked her over for a moment and smiled. ‘’Ye look good!’’ he finally chirped. He had to admit, he felt a bit of secondhand pride. He had been the one to first teach both of his girls about makeup and hairstyling, so seeing her do something so elaborate all by herself brought a smile to his face.

‘’Oh er- t-thanks da.’’ she stammered out, shifting nervously on her feet. She forced a smile. Jack chuckled a bit, thinking she was just embarrassed at the compliment.

‘’Ya ‘eaded somewhere?’’

‘’Oh! Uh- yeh, yeh I’m er- goin’ ta see some friends.’’ she replied quickly. Jack nodded. Oh, friends! Odd...normally his daughters told him a little bit in advance if they were planning to go out- but maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. Besides, she’d already gone through all the effort of dressing up and making herself look so nice, Jack certainly wasn’t going to keep her home!

‘’Ah! Awrigh’ then,’’ he turned back to the TV show he’d been watching. ‘’Ave fun, luv.’’

‘’Thanks da.’’ Jasmine smiled a bit and walked more confidently towards the door. Jack glanced at her and frowned.

‘’...’ey kiddo?’’ he suddenly said. She paused and looked over her shoulder at him, looking worried. ‘’...do ye need money?’’ he gave her a wide smile and reached into his puffy sleeve. Before his daughter could even mumble out a flustered ‘nah, I’m okay’, he pulled out a couple paper bills and stretched his arm over to her. She smiled gently and took the money. ‘’Buy yerself lunch ‘er somefink, awrigh’ swee’ear’?’’

‘’Yes da.’’ she gently tucked the bills into the pocket of her jacket and looked up at him again. She smiled a bit wider. ‘’See ya la’er.’’

‘’Ave fun!’’ Jack called back. He settled back down into his chair, content with himself. Just as he was relaxing again, he was interrupted by a second voice at the top of the stairs.

‘’...ye le’ ‘er go ou’ lookin’ like tha’??’’

Jack looked up at the sound of his second daughter’s voice. He looked up at her and frowned. ‘’Yeh?’’ he tilted his head. ‘’Somefink wrong?’’

‘’No, i’s jus’ tha’ she’s goin’ on a da’e is all…’’ Juliette leaned nonchalantly against the wall, smirking a bit as she spoke.

‘’...a da’e?’’

‘’Yeh. Wiv a boy, y’know, nofink big.’’ Jack stared at her in astonishment. ‘’No’ tha’ big a deal, she only spent two ‘ours doin’ ‘er ‘air up an’ lookin’ all nice fer’im.’’

Jack stood up quickly and stared at her. ‘’Well- who is ‘e?? Do I know ‘im?’’

‘’E’s tha’ scrawny lad tha’ works a’ th’ music shop in town.’’ she examined her nails as she spoke. ‘’She’s fancied ‘im since she me’ ‘im. No idea why, ‘e’s kinda spo’y.’’

Jack frowned and looked at the ground. Ohh, he knew who she was talking about. A boy with wispy, greasy blonde hair and a nose ring who always seemed a little out of it. Your typical teenager. He was just surprised he’d never put two and two together and realised his own daughter liked him. He’d always thought she was just really into music. ‘’Do ye know where they went off ta?’’

‘’Mmm…’’ she spent a long, long moment thinking about it. ‘’I fink she mentioned th’ place bu’...I can’t qui’e remember i’.’’ she gave her dad a mischievous grin. Jack groaned and reached into his sleeve, pulling out another thirty dollars. He stretched his arm up and the girl grabbed the notes, smiling in satisfaction. She was a smart one, Jack would give her that. ‘’Th’ shoppin’ centre in town. Fink they mentioned ge’in lunch an’ summat.’’

‘’Righ’.’’ Jack turned on his heel and towards the door. ‘’I’m g’nna go er- check on yer sister-’’

‘’Don’t le’ ‘er see ya. Jus’ stalk ‘er from a distance.’’

‘’Thanks luv I will.’’

Jack walked quickly across town to the local mall. He stuck to backstreets and kept his eyes peeled for his daughter. He almost thought he wouldn’t find her until, when leaning out from behind a trash can, his eyes spotted a red leather jacket in the crowd. He gasped and stared at her. Alright, alright, calm down. He wasn’t going to storm over and tell her off- she was in love. Kids in love do stupid things, and hey, maybe this boy was nice! Maybe he was like her dashing Romeo- actually no that'd be more fitting for his other daughter Juliette...Aladdin then? Wasn't Aladdin a thief who lied about being rich though? Jack definitely didn't want someone like that dating his daughter…

OH WAIT HE’S HERE- Jack’s eyes widened as the boy walked up to his beloved daughter. He examined him carefully. The two just waved a bit in greeting as he casually walked up to her. They talked for a little bit before walking off towards the entrance to the mall. Perfectly innocent, right? WRONG! The ungrateful daughter stealer hadn’t even brought flowers! He wouldn’t even hold her hand as they walked! Not to mention his outfit. A red and white baseball cap, a track jacket of the same colours, black jeans that were ripped and old worn trainers. Also in red and white. Would it be too much for him to even put on the tiniest bit of lipstick? Honestly! Jack wasn’t a romantic but he knew low effort when he saw it. Honestly, men these days…

But fine, fine. He’d give the boy another chance. Maybe he forgot the flowers at home and maybe he thought the dress code was casual. No biggie, no biggie. He slinked over to the mall’s entrance and slipped inside. He stayed hidden in the crowd- or- as hidden as a giant monochrome clown could be. Things seemed pretty normal. The two of them walked along, talking calmly. The boy seemed to be laughing a lot, which made Jack proud. If someone was going to date his daughter, they had to have a sense of humour. He followed them into various stores. A record shop, a Hot Topic, Claire’s and a couple other places. They seemed to get along good, though Jack couldn’t hear very much of their conversations. He’d listened to them talk excitedly in the record shop about music, and in Claire’s he’d watched them mess around trying on accessories. They were...cute. They made a good couple and seeing the way his daughter laughed and grinned, and the way the boy blushed in her presence- it made Jack soften. He was wrong about this boy...he made his daughter happy, really happy, and he was more than happy to let them be together.

As he followed after them a few feet behind, his eyes stayed locked on their hands. They were holding hands. Jack was over the moon at that. His little girl was in love! Her first date was going good! He watched from a little bit away as they sat down at a food court. Once he was sure they were settled in and stuck into both their lunch and conversation, he wandered over and took a seat a little bit away where he could keep watching them.

And then...Jasmine glanced to her side, just for a moment, and then snapped her head over to him. Her eyes locked with her father’s from across the food court and slowly, a look of horror crossed her face. She looked quickly to her date before he could notice something was wrong and stood up from her chair. Jack watched her say something to him before calmly walking away. As she got closer to where her dad sat though, her strides became angrier, and her face more enraged. Jack gulped.

Oh no.

She stopped calmly in front of his table and folded her arms. It was silent for a long, tense moment. ‘’E-ey swee’ear’.’’ Jack murmured, forcing a smile.

‘’Wha’ are ye doin’ ‘ere?’’ Jasmine growled back.

‘’I wuz jus’ checkin’ on ye, ‘onest!’’

‘’Checkin’ on me?!’’ she snapped back. ‘’Stalkin’ me more like!’’

‘’Well ye’re th’ one tha’ didn’ tell me ye were da’in’ some’ne!’’

‘’Becuz I knew ye’d pull this crap!’’ Jasmine looked about ready to hit her father. It honestly wouldn’t surprise him if she did. ‘’I’m no’ a li’le girl! I can do wha’ I want! Juliette has a fella and ye don’t do this wiv ‘er!’’

‘’Tha’s diff’ren’-’’

‘’She’s the one tha’ told ya abou’ this, isn’t she?’’

Jack hesitated for a moment. ‘’...yeh.’’

‘’I’m g’nna kill tha’ poxy ra’!’’ she buried her face in her hands and groaned. Jack reached up and patted her shoulder gently. She looked up at him, still glaring.

‘’...I like ye’re boyfrien’. ‘E seems nice.’’ He murmured gently. ‘’I jus’ wanted ta make sure i’ went okay...yous’re a cu’e couple.’’ he smiled up at her. Jasmine paused for a moment before sighing.

‘’Ye’re such a fockin’ eejit, da.’’ she muttered. Jack laughed gently and pulled his hand away. He stood up from his chair. ‘’...ye mean i’ abou’ ‘im?’’

He nodded. ‘’I do.’’ he smiled down at her. ‘’Tell ye wha’, I’ll go back on ‘ome an’ pretend I didn’ see any ‘f this. Ye can keep goin wiv yer da’e an’ f’rge’ abou’ me.’’

Jasmine stared at him for a moment before smiling gently. ‘’Fine.’’ she sighed. She stepped back from him. ‘’Ge’ ou’a ‘ere b’fore ‘e sees me talkin’ ta ya. Don’ wanna make ‘im mee’ th’ folks on th’ first da’e.’’

Jack laughed and nodded. ‘’Alrigh’,’’ he pat her head once more before stepping away from her. ‘’Ave fun, luv.’’

‘’I will, da.’’

#creepypasta #laughing jack #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #writing #ask #anon #anonymous #request #writing requests

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