#probably wouldn’t be nearly as up in arms about any of this if any single job I applied to got back to me. even as a rejection. but alas. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soap-ify · 5 months

Text

nsfw , minors dni.

☆ : lonely is a man without love — kyle 'gaz' garrick x reader

kyle's lonely life experiences a change when he moves into a new place — ♡

. . 11.1k words.

tags and cw : neighbors to lovers, angst but LOTS of comfort, hurt/comfort, canon typical violence (briefly mentioned), hush if you see any military inaccuracies, reader is struggling and kyle too, reader is somewhat shy, mentions and descriptions of anxiety and depression, reader is afab and therefore the smut contains afab anatomy but other than that gender neutral terms have been used, smut, p in v, missionary position, fingering, cum eating, body worship i think, LOTS of kisses this man is insane about you, LOTS of consent check-ins because he is amazing, some laughing during sex, use of alcohol, kyle smokes, kissing in the rain.

notes : this is very self-indulgent and probably horribly written i am sorry . . went overboard with the word limit too i didn't think it would be long. this is for the gaz likers, eat your dinner up!

Kyle sometimes felt like he was doomed to be alone forever. So much love floated around him yet not a single bit was directed at him.

It’s a good thing. He would reassure himself. Will help me focus on my work. Though that wouldn’t explain the gnawing feeling in his heart, the loneliness that just spread within him like a virus while he would curl up in his bed, arms wrapped around himself while his fingers would caress his shoulders, pretending that it was someone else.

It wasn’t that he was bad. He was far from it. Handsome with a nice husky voice and a fairly athletic build. Not only that, he had a great personality too — loyal and determined. Still not fucking enough though, it seemed. People did like him, just not in the way his heart desired to be liked. At some points, it was as if no one ever took him seriously, making him feel like the odd one out. The leftover.

Kyle is a sweetheart — heart full of love that was aching to be given to someone, aching to be understood and embraced for once.

A few days ago, Kyle had rented a new apartment on impulse. Not that he regretted it though, it was clearly better than the current apartment he was living in — more spacious and closer to the base.

He was moving in today, cardboard boxes scattered on the floor as he stood in front of the door of his apartment, fiddling with his keys. He was about to open the door when he felt someone tap on his shoulder, causing him to abruptly turn around to face the culprit, senses on alert.

“Sorry!” A warm voice squeaked out, instantly catching Kyle’s attention. It was you, a friendly yet surprised smile adorning your lips as you angled your head to look at him. “Didn’t mean to surprise you.” You laughed sheepishly, fingers fidgeting with the fabric of your shirt as you gestured to the door beside his door. “I’m your neighbor.”

Kyle would relax a bit, her dark eyes flickering towards the door you had gestured at before landing back at you, a soft smile slowly gracing his lips. “Nah, s’fine. Don’t be sorry.” He chuckled warmly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He was used to being hyper aware all the time due to his work, so that sudden touch on his shoulder had nearly made him have a heart-attack. “...And I’m Kyle.” He added after a while.

Silence would soon take over as you two looked at one another, thinking over what to say next. “Well…” You would trail off, not wanting to disturb this new neighbor of yours any longer. Your eyes would glance down at those plump lips for him for a second before you snapped out of your thoughts, offering him a smile. “I’ll see you around then… Don’t be afraid to ask for anything at all.” You mumbled quickly, feeling like a damn bother already, turning around on your feet before jogging back into your apartment, gently shutting the door behind you.

Kyle would stare at the spot where you stood with a dazed look in his eyes, his lips parted slightly as he let out a shaky breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding until you went away. Fuck, that was awkward, he internally thought, yet unable to shake off this warm feeling that was spreading through his heart. Typical Kyle, always being left shocked and giddy after anyone would show interest in him. You are a weirdo, Garrick.

Now he had another mini goal in his life — to get to know you. You were his neighbor after all so it was only polite for him to at least know you, right? And with that, he resumed moving the packed boxes into his apartment, blood rushing to his cheeks.

The following weeks were very much uneventful — simple greetings exchanged whenever you passed by Kyle, little waves here and there alongside the sweet smiles you would give him that would just melt his heart. Yet still, there wasn’t any real interaction. He didn’t know anything about you, and at this point, he felt like he had read too much into the time he first met you a few weeks ago.

It wasn’t as if he himself was making any effort. He was too caught up in work, coming home late at nights, barely having any time for himself or others.

Tonight was different though. He had come early. Well, not really — it was 11:00 PM, but still earlier than usual though he was just as tired as every time. As he made his way towards the door of his apartment, he felt a familiar figure next to him. You. His head was quick to turn to the side, brown eyes instantly meeting yours as you looked at him as well, the time suddenly slowing down. There you were outside your apartment’s door, in your work clothes and a bit of disheveled appearance, highlighting just how exhausted you were after work. Just like him.

For a moment, you both just stared at each other tiredly before he managed to gather up some courage, his hand holding the door knob. “Drinks?” He asked, internally cringing at how hoarse his voice sounded due to his throat randomly going dry at the sight of you. Though you were quick to nod, causing a familiar warmth to spread in his chest.

That’s how you found yourself in Kyle’s apartment, your eyes taking in the details. It was quite warm and cozy, not overly decorated but having little things like books, certificates and pictures around that made the apartment his.

You settled down on the couch, sinking into the softness while your fingers absent-mindedly played with the sleeve of your shirt, eyes watching Kyle as he came towards you with two bottles of bourbon. “Sorry that I look like a disaster.” You mumbled quietly, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Nah. You don’t. And even if ya do, I do too. That'd mean we're matching.” He grinned and sat beside you, passing you one bottle of bourbon before opening up his own, taking a swig of it, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He would lean his head back, and you couldn’t help but look at the way the bulge in his throat moved as he gulped down the alcohol.

Kyle looked pretty. He always looked good-looking in your eyes ever since you had first met him, but right now, something made him look even better. Maybe it was the dim yellow light from the lamp on a nearby stand that fell onto his face, creating a soft glow around the face of his shape from the angle you were seated on. His eyes were closed while the bourbon relaxed his nerves, his plump lips parted slightly. You couldn’t help but admire his lashes, the mild stubble that adorned his jaw and the mustache that neatly rested above his upper lips — and that small scar on his cheek, your fingers aching to caress the rough surface. You silently took a sip from your own bourbon bottle, your eyes traveling down to his neck, the sight of skin making your insides feel weird, in a good way. You would soon find yourself in awe of his arms, the way his shirt was rolled up to rest on his elbows, and fuck, those hands. Your throat went dry as you mindlessly stared at the veins on his hand, and those long fingers of his. Get your head out of the gutter, you reminded yourself.

You weren’t usually like this. Yes, you had a fair share of people you have had a crush upon, but they were never a person that you sat with and drank a bourbon with, someone who also happened to be your neighbor. This all felt too weird, too real. It was maybe also the fact that you weren't so used to all this — this level of calmness and almost sickening domesticity. You don't even remember the last time you had let someone see you being vulnerable, open around them or anything. You were mostly alone.

Failing to rip your eyes away from Kyle, you silently continued to stare at him while drinking the bourbon until his eyes fluttered open and met yours, catching you staring at him. Shit. You went still, feeling your blood rush to your cheeks.

He went still too, his brows raising in curiosity and subtle amusement, his lips twitching a bit — as if contemplating on whether to smile or not. Why am I so awkward?, he internally scolded himself, his fingers tightening around the bottle of bourbon.

A part of him felt proud that you found him attractive. He wanted you to find him attractive. He silently took one last swig of the bourbon before putting the bottle aside, turning over to him. His cheeks felt warm, and he didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or this situation — or both. Sensing your embarrassment, he decided to let this little action of yours slide and change the topic.

“Hey, you wanna hear somethin’ funny?” He asked, his elbow gently nudging your arm. You nodded curiously, fingers tapping against the glass of the bottle.

He would shuffle a bit closer to you, your shoulders brushing against one another. It didn’t feel odd this time, or creepy even — it felt just right. The type of right where the time seemingly slows down and the room grows warmer, the type of right where everything blurs around the person your eyes are focused on — Kyle. The type of right where your breathing gets slower in contentment and tranquility, an odd sense of serenity flowing through your veins, making it impossible for you to not lean into him.

He began talking, his tone not slurred at all but seemingly more confident now, and you couldn’t pinpoint whether it was because of the alcohol or just him warming up to you. He talked about his job, how he was an operator in the Special Forces, not disclosing much more than that because apparently, that information was classified. He subtly talked about some fucked up moments that he had to face, that he found funny even, despite it being somewhat horrific actually.

“There was this one time when I had to rescue a friend of mine. I was in the heli with Nik — he’s a nice man. Anyways, some stuff happened and I slipped off the heli, but hey, I didn’t hit the ground. I was danglin’ by a fuckin' rope, and my cap'n kept tryin’ to talk to me through the earpiece. It was hell, he couldn’t believe it.” Kyle chuckled, voice a bit raspy while his eyes were focused on you, eager to see your reaction.

You would have normally been weirded out by something like that, something that just seemed so dangerous. But the way he had described it, the way he had chuckled even — it made your lips twitch into a bright smile, a soft giggle leaving your lips that soon turned into full blown laughter. “Dangling by a rope?!” You try to mutter in between your laughs, hands clutching your sides as you try to regain your composure. Your reaction made him burst into laughter too, and now you both were just a mess, tearing up. At this point, it didn’t even seem to be about Kyle’s experience anymore. It was a sweet, genuine laugh — evidence of how you had gotten so comfortable with your neighbor, how you had started to feel this odd sense of affection towards him.

Kyle was no better, his heart drumming like crazy against his chest. You are an angel, he internally thought, so enamored by the sound of your laughter. It didn’t matter what you thought of your laughter or how much you tried to keep it quiet, he absolutely loved it. He began feeling that familiar ache in his heart, the emotions that begged to be spilled out, to be directed towards someone, anyone — you. But he was going to hold it in like every time, like all the times he had to keep his emotions bottled up, knowing that they wouldn’t be reciprocated. They never were reciprocated, and it made him into this — a love-starved fool.

The laughter eventually dissolved into muffled giggles and shaky breaths, your hands loosening around your sides while your glassy eyes looked over at Kyle, who was also looking at you. Both of you were panting softly, eyes locked on one another. You could feel your heartbeat picking up its pace, your lips parted slightly while your cheeks were all warm. God, he is gorgeous, you wondered in awe, feeling an oddly fuzzy feeling clouding your brain.

You two were so close, and you could just kiss him. You wanted to. But wouldn’t he find it weird, being kissed by his neighbor? You felt skeptical, but seeing the way his eyes just didn’t seem to move away from yours, you found yourself leaning forward. And he did too. He actually leaned forward!

Closer, and a bit more, and more—

Until his phone rang. Fucking hell. Kyle audibly groaned, looking at you with a collectively embarrassed and apologetic look. You backed away, cheeks burning up while your eyes darted away shyly, nibbling on your bottom lip.

He mumbled something inaudible under his breath, getting up from the couch so he could accept the call, pressing his phone against his ear. “Yes, Cap’n? Yeah… Oh, alright... On Friday? Yeah, okay.” He whispered, soon enough ending the call before turning back to you, clearing his throat sheepishly. “Uh— Sorry. Work call.” He grumbled, brows knitting.

You shook your head, still in a bit of haze after how you almost kissed him. Or maybe you weren’t going to. Maybe you were just overthinking the whole situation, clinging onto some false hope because fuck, your neighbour was gorgeously enticing. You pushed those thoughts away quickly, not willing to fall into another delusion, just like you had with your past crushes. “S’fine, Kyle. Need to go anyway. Too late now.” You mumbled softly, looking over at the watch on your wrist that read 12:45 AM now. You hadn’t realized how much time you had spent with him already. It was as if time seemed to melt away around you, just like the way he seemed to melt your heart.

But there was no time to think about that. You had work tomorrow. It was already too late. Kyle looked over at the clock hung on the wall, a soft sigh leaving his lips before his brown eyes looked back at you. “Thanks for keepin’ me company, mate.” He spoke, internally cringing at calling you ‘mate’ though he didn’t know what else to call you. Love? Sweetie? I will freak her out, he internally thought, you think too much, Garrick.

You made your way towards the front door of his apartment, glancing at him one last time. “Goodnight, Kyle…” You whispered, a soft smile adoring your lips, senses a bit clouded due to the alcohol though you knew that your smile was sincere — full of warmth that you had shown multiple, but managed to seem different when shown to him — more genuine.

When you stepped out into the corridor, your eyes caught a glimpse of his expression, a hint of disappointment and loneliness lingering behind the warm smile he wore on his plump lips. Maybe you were imagining it, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but you knew that you wanted to be there for him more and more. He was like a painting, placed in the far corner of the museum where no one would see him, but you were the visitor who had coincidentally stumbled upon the isolated area, now in awe of this painting.

It was just one of those days for you today, brows knitted in frustration as you went over the paperwork of your job, not understanding a single word written there. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep you had gotten the past few days, or the boisterous laugh of your fellow colleagues that roared in the workplace, overstimulating your senses. Or maybe it was your annoying boss, slamming loads and loads of papers on your desk and you just silently accepted them because, well, you couldn’t afford angering your boss. Or maybe it was just Kyle who had been stuck in your brain ever since that little experience you had with him a few days ago.

You didn’t have the luxury of having a pleasant lifestyle. It was monotonous more than anything — most days passed with you absolutely drowning in your work, giving you barely any time to take care of yourself. You were horribly burnt out, exhausted with the same old stuff going on. Maybe that’s why you were so drawn to Kyle in the first place. He was new, fresh like the spring breeze, his smile enough to kindle a strange warmth in your chest.

Whatever it was, you knew that you wanted to get to know him better, even though you weren’t the best at making connections — or even maintaining them. The thought made you wince, mind drifting away from the paperwork.

Your phone hadn’t pinged with a new message for a few days. You knew it, they had grown tired of you. Your friends — everyone. It was your fault, right? It was always your fault. Pushing people away, not letting them see past your mask, to see the real you that yearned to be understood, to fit in. If it weren’t for your depressive episodes, you would still have managed to maintain some relationship. But no. You just had to push them away. Now hopelessly sitting on your bed, dark circles adorning your under eyes while you gazed at your silent phone, a familiar emptiness lingering in your heart that just never seemed to go away. Your room was a mess, neither your body nor mind having any energy to get up. You needed help, you needed someone — anyone. But you didn’t want to be a burden, you didn’t—

You were snapped out of your memories at the sound of the glass shattering and some yells, your head snapping up to see that one of your colleagues had managed to break a glass, now getting yelled by the boss. Fucking great. You bitterly groaned silently, eyes looking over at the clock. Just a few more hours, you could do this.

Once the time was up, you were quick to grab your things and scurry out of the office, too exhausted to deal with anyone. 6:30 PM — you had actually managed to leave early today. You followed along your usual path, taking the crowded bus and then having a small walk along the street until you reached the small apartment complex.

About an hour passed and you had properly freshened up with a nice shower, now cladded in one of your pajamas. The fatigue still lingered in your muscles, refusing to go away. You frowned silently, eyes darting over to the balcony door. Putting on some slippers, you walked over to the balcony door and opened it, stepping into the cool, chilly evening air — the sky having mostly darkened up. You breathed in the fresh air, feeling a sense of ease clouding your senses. Though your moment of peace was interrupted by the smell of cigarettes. Wait, what?

Your head turned to the side, catching the sight of your neighbor on his balcony. Fuck, you had forgotten that your balcony was connected with Kyle’s.

Your brows rose in surprise, eyes carefully looking over at him. He looked, well, like a wreck. You felt your heart sink as you looked at him, taking in his appearance. He wore a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, the hood covering his head up, restricting you from the view of his short curly hair. His eyes looked tired, dark circles visible under his eyes, his brows knitted while his eyes were focused on the sky, gaze distant. A lit cigarette was snug in between his fingers, connecting with his lips as he exhaled some smoke. You wondered what happened, what caused him to look so… dejected. Though you resisted from asking him that directly, not wanting to pry into something you clearly didn’t belong in.

“Smoker?” Your voice cut through the silence, causing him to look over at you in surprise.

Kyle hadn’t expected to see you here. There you were, in your balcony, staring at him with concern that was masked behind nonchalance, though he could easily spot it. “Sometimes.” He replied, voice hoarse as his eyes looked away, staring back at the sky. He wanted to talk to you, had missed you so much, but this really wasn’t the best time. He didn’t mean it, but his voice sounded uncharacteristically annoyed.

You winced at his lack of reaction and the subtle show of annoyance, swallowing the strange lump in your throat as you silently stepped forward, leaning against the barrier of your balconies. “What’s wrong?” You finally decided to hit the sore spot, eyeing the change in his expression.

“Nothing.” He replied gruffly.

“Well there’s clearly something wro—”

“It’s none of your business. You don’t wanna hear it, trust me.”

“You won’t know unless you—”

“I told you, it’s nothing!”

“Stop fucking talking over me!” Your voice raised unintentionally alongside his. For a second, you just stared at him with wife eyes, panting softly as he looked back at you with an equally surprised reaction. This was such a stupid thing to argue on, and for a moment, you thought that maybe he was right. Maybe it really wasn’t any of your business. You were just his neighbor, right? Good job, ruining everything once again, you internally scolded yourself, a groan leaving your lips. If only you could control your goddamn temper.

Kyle was stunned, your voice pulling him out of his depressed haze. He huffed, brows knitting in embarrassment as he walked over to the barrier that separated the balconies, getting in front of you. “Fuck, sorry. It’s just…” He hesitated, taking another drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke aside. “I am tired, y’know. Working’ so hard every day and for what? I got no one to be proud of me. Fuck, even my own cap’n doesn’t give me the validation I want…” His voice cracked at the end, nose scrunching as he looked away, as if ashamed by his own vulnerability.

Fuck, you froze, You knew this feeling too well.

“And now look at me… Talkin’ to my neighbor about it. I am supposed to be protecting people, n-not be the fucking weak one.” He sniffled irritably, forcing out an insincere chuckle. Self deprecating thoughts, typical for Kyle. Though you were clearly unaware of it.

Kyle’s mind was a mess right now. Do better, do better, do better. Ever since he had joined the taskforce, he had this itchy feeling in his heart that urged him to prove himself. To make everyone sure that he was worthy enough to deal with the horrors of the world. But no amount of training or missions gave him the satisfaction he desired. There was always someone better than him. Who even was he anymore? He had molded himself so much for others, and now he couldn’t recognise himself.

You had noticed how Kyle had suddenly gone quiet, the connected balconies now surrounded by a thick layer of silence, sparking a familiar sense of anxiety in you. You wanted to say something to him, something you longed to listen to when you were struggling a few years ago. But what could you even say without properly knowing his situation? You knew nothing about what actually even goes on in his job despite the little things he had told you that wouldn’t really be considered classified.

So you simply reached your hand forward, grabbing his free one. You felt him stiffen up for a split second before relaxing again, his eyes moving back to you. You took this time to silently admire his hands, your fingers lacing with his as your thumb rubbed gently circles on his skin. His hand was so fucking pretty, the type you’d want after a manicure. His nails were nicely cut, and his skin was clean and only mildly callused. You were surprised that his hands weren’t so madly roughened up in the way you would normally expect a soldier to have.

“I have a hand care routine.” Kyle blurted out sheepishly, probably having sensed your fascination. You couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, causing his eyes to soften up. Your laugh. It reminded him of how you gave him company alongside drinking some bourbon a few nights ago. It was his favorite night in his damn life already.

“I don’t know what's going on in your head, Kyle. But…” You trailed off, giving his hands a gentle squeeze while your eyes darted away in an almost shy manner. “You can always rely on me. I swear.”

Kyle could have sworn that he heard his heart explode in his chest.

There was no way you weren't an angel. The familiar painful warmth made its appearance into his heart and this time, he didn’t push it away. He was smitten. You, sweet you. His lovely name. Not emphasis on his yet, because well— yeah.

Kyle had started feeling hopeful all over again, blood rushing to his cheeks and lips parting breathlessly. He didn’t know what exactly he was feeling towards you. Maybe a silly crush like many others wherein his feelings were never reciprocated. But he instantly pushed that thought away. He knew that you were different. Unlike others who had made him into this anxious, perfectionist mess — you didn’t put any burdens on him, simply made him feel safe and seen. Safe. He had never felt safe with any person before, maybe with his task force but that was really different from what he felt right now. He didn’t feel unlovable for once, despite the self-loathing thoughts scratching on the back of his mind, making him struggle to think straight.

He simply wanted to fall in your arms and cry. Cry about how it was just too much for him now, the sheer immorality of his work that he had promised himself that he would face. Cry about how no one ever wanted him, how he was always left out. Cry about being the second option. Cry about feeling like a fucking outsider. Cry about never being perfect. Cry about everything.

He would have actually made his way into your arms if it wasn’t for the little barrier in between your balcony and his. And the barrier between you both — the invisible one. You were still just a neighbor, and maybe a friend. He didn’t want to overthink this, to give himself hope like every time.

Once his cigarette had run out, he sighed softly and kept it tucked in between his fingers, his lips forming a soft smile — the one that you were so familiar with. “You’re a special one, lovie.” He said, before pausing, lips twitching a bit. Going all out now with the nicknames.

Your eyes lightened up under the faint, dim light of the balcony, lips forming a sweetly goofy smile. Lovie. That just sounded so… Kyle. You liked it, this new little change in your relationship. You never let go of his hand, your body pressing up against the barrier of the balconies. “C’mon. Wanna hang out again? My apartment this time.” You offered, gently nudging him.

And oh boy, he was embarrassingly quick to agree.

You had put down fluffy pillows in front of the couch, Kyle seated on them alongside you with your backs pressed against the couch. You had bought a bowl of popcorns, which was now settled in between the little distance you two had. The light from your TV illuminated your face, and he couldn’t help but silently stare at you.

“I’m going to put on a rom-com.” You mumbled softly, hands fiddling with the remote of the TV as you scrolled through the lists of movies, until random on a recently added rom-com movie you don't recall ever watching.

Kyle’s eyes drifted over to the TV screen and then back to you, a cheeky grin soon adorning his lips. ”I feel like this is a trap.” He chuckled under his breath, playfully nudging you with his elbow.

“Oh yeah? Why would it be?” You couldn’t help but giggle, eyes squinting.

“Well, I dunno! Didn’t know that lovie here was into rom-coms.”

“You don’t know much about me then, Kyle.”

The banter between you both went on for a few seconds until the opening credit song of the movie started playing, causing you to immediately hush him, focusing fully onto the movie. Kyle went quiet, pulling the hood of his head, finally. Those short curls of his were visible once again.

He was definitely more relaxed than before. He had even sprayed himself with your perfume so the smell of cigarettes goes away. His mind felt a bit clearer too, albeit a weird dull ache still present in his heart. The usual emptiness, the ache for you. He ignored those feelings for now though, trying to properly focus on the movie.

Easier said than done. You were so close to him, warmth basically radiating off you while your eyes were fixed onto the screen, mouth silently chewing onto the popcorns. He sneakily shuffled a bit closer, his shoulder gently brushing with yours. You didn’t flinch away at all, making his heart warm up even more.

He wanted, no, needed to hold you. His arms were aching to embrace you, and as much as the rational part of his mind would have normally stopped him, this time it didn’t. He gently leaned his head a bit close, lips a few inches away from your ears. “Can I hold you…?” He asked, voice soft and a bit raspy.

Your breath hitched at the sudden proximity, your head tilting to the side to face him, only for your noses to almost be pressed together. Warmth bloomed in your chest and you couldn’t help but nod, lips forming a sweet smile. “Yes…” You whispered. You wouldn’t have let anyone else hold you. You trusted him.

Kyle was overjoyed, but he managed to hide it well. His arms, firm with muscles, slowly around you and scooped you towards him until your back was nicely snuggled into his chest, seated between his legs. You could almost feel his heartbeat against your back — rapid and loud with soft thumps. you found yourself relaxing in his arms, leaning more into him as a soft sigh escaped your lips.

You picked the bowl of popcorns and gently placed it back on your lap, resuming to eat it. Kyle took this time to place his chin on the top of your head, happy that you couldn’t see the absolutely goofy grin that adorned his lips, his heart practically jumping up and down in his chest. He had never felt so connected with someone, your warmth seeping into the sheer loneliness that engulfed his heart. He wasn’t alone.

“Crappy guy.” He commented on the love interest of the female lead, some tall and cold man — very much typical in romance movies. You hummed in agreement, your hand grazing him as he put his hand alongside yours into the bowl, picking up some popcorn.

The movie wasn’t even good at this point. Mostly because all of your mind was solely focused on how nice and warm he felt behind you, making you feel so relaxed. You could basically fall asleep on him if you wanted to, but you restrained yourself mentally, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. What even were the boundaries now?

You closed your eyes momentarily, curling up against him after you put the popcorn bowl aside, your cheek pressed against his neck. “Bored?” He asked quietly, his hand rubbing up and down your arm in a gentle manner, earning a silent nod from you. He sighed softly and nuzzled his nose into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“About earlier…” You trailed off, brows knitting in confusion. What were you doing? It was as if you wanted to comfort him as much as you could, your heart speaking instead of your mind. It was like an itch, one that wouldn’t go away unless you talked to him. You shifted in his arms so you could face him, comfortable in between his legs, not caring about the movie anymore. “I…” You sheepishly cleared your throat, hands hesitantly twitching before grasping onto his shoulders. “I… I was struggling real bad a few years ago. Still am, but… Just wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone…” You nervously looked away, chewing on your bottom lip.

You had never opened up to anyone before. It was basically written all over your face.

Kyle’s brows furrowed momentarily, going quiet after your words. It explained a lot actually, the subtle dark circles under your eyes and the absent-minded fidgeting you always did. Though it wasn’t really noticeable, he noticed. Perks of having a job that required high attention.

“Lovie… You don’t gotta say anythin’ you don’t wanna.” He spoke after a while, his arms tightening around you as he pulled you in just a bit more closer, the tip of his nose almost touching yours. “But thank you… Really. And I am also here for you, always” His voice softened up even more at the end, so quiet and warm.

You scoffed softly, but nodded, your hands shyly caressing up his shoulders, fingers trailing up his neck, face before eventually reaching his scalp. Your fingers soothingly ran through his short, nicely cut hair, a soft sigh escaping your lips. You had been waiting for this. And the way Kyle’s eyes closed relaxed encouraged you even more to gently scratch his scalp.

Kyle leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttered shut and lips parted slightly, relishing your touch. It was achingly comforting, and he could feel the noises in his head becoming inaudible, his heart rate relaxing and his nerves calming down.

You, you, you, you.

That’s what rang in his head, blood rushing to his cheeks and ears as he felt himself get all giddy over his neighbor — sweet neighbor.

The movie was long forgotten in the background, the only trace of it being the muffled sounds and the light from the screen that fell onto you both. Kyle slowly opened his eyes again, his hands reaching up to gently cup your face, fingertips pressing against the back of your ears. His eyes looked all over your face, from the fond look in your eyes to your lips. Lips he wanted to kiss so bad.

“Can I kiss you?”

His own words surprised him, but he didn’t back away. Not now, not ever. He gently pressed his forehead against yours, his breathing syncing with yours as he felt your hands slide down to gently hold onto his shoulders again, your lips forming an adorable smile.

“Yes… Okay.”

He slowly closed the distance between you both, pressing his lips against yours. His lips felt soft, moving with your lips delicatel — a chaste kiss. The kiss didn’t seem inexperienced by any means. He knew what he was doing, holding your face so tenderly in his hands as if you were the most precious thing ever, breath hitching subtly as he parted from the kiss, looking at you with half-open eyes. Holy shit, he actually kissed you. If he were to die this very moment, he would die a happy man.

“Am I going too fast, lovie…?” He asked, his hands slowly easing their way down to your waist, helping you up to sit on his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist one again, a blissful smile on his lips.

You shook your head lazily, arms wrapping around his neck as you comfortably sat on his lap, blood rushing to your cheeks while your heart thumped fast in your chest. You actually kissed him. “I liked it… You can do more, Kyle.”

God, you were perfect, he thought to himself, brain buzzing with glee while his hands gently caressed your lower back, fingers applying some pressure to your hip bone, earning a relaxed sigh from you. “I told ya I felt like this was going to a trap.” He chuckled in amusement under his breath before pressing his lips against yours once more.

Your mind felt fuzzy as you responded back to his kiss, soft smooching sounds lingering in the air. It felt nice. Too nice. Your brain wanted to somehow disconnect from the feeling of the kiss. Memories of you isolating yourself from everyone made their way into your mind once again like a fly that never went away, scratching at your head. Fuck. What if you pushed him away too? This felt impossibly good, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

Still, you didn’t pull away from the kiss. You couldn’t. You still wanted this.

You felt his tongue gently caressing your bottom lip, poking it as if requesting entrance. You could almost feel him unable to hold in his grin in the middle of the kiss when you complied, gently parting your lips. He coaxed you closer and closer, the tip of his tongue gently caressing yours. A muffled whimper left your lips as you tightened your fingers around his shoulders, brows furrowing as you tried to keep your mind clear. This time, you properly felt his light stubble and mustache graze against your soft skin, heightening up your senses.

Once the kiss ended, Kyle pressed some more quick pecks on your cheek before burying his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling your skin. You were breathless, clinging onto him tight, not wanting this moment to end at all as you leaned into him, fingernails gently scratching against his nape. “Bloody gorgeous you are…” He croaked out against your neck, gently pressing soft kisses on your skin.

Warmth pooled in your stomach, your hips twitching unconsciously. He was so sickeningly sweet —you felt your heart growing more and more fond of him. Your body shuddered once he began lightly nipping on your skin with his teeth, testing the water and bloody hell, it was working. You didn’t even know you were sensitive in that area until now. “K-Kyle…” His name left your lips in the form of a shaky giggle, a bashful smile playing on your lips as you gently tugged on his hair with his fingers, earning a groan from him.

“Fucking hell, lovie…” He huffed, playfully yet lightly biting on your neck, eliciting a surprised squeak from you.

“Kyle!”

“Hush.” He peppered sweet licks on the place he had given you a bite. He pulled his head back slightly, eyes meeting yours once again.

He could feel the subtle tension in your muscles, the mild hesitation that seemed too familiar to him. Maybe you were scared of this softness just as much as he craved it. It wasn’t a bad kind of scared though, he knew that much.

“I have really bad luck with… all this.” He blurted out after a few seconds of silence, brown eyes fixed on yours, filled with vulnerability that he wasn’t reluctant on showing you anymore. He trusted you anyways. “I dunno, lovie. I have been goin’ on with my life thinking that I was just… not lovable at all. Got sick of being so alone all the time, of being left out a-and—” His voice cracked, his lips quickly pursing shut with a subtle hint of embarrassment. Not now, Garrick.

He cleared his throat, licking his bottom lip that suddenly felt dry. “You are the only one who makes me forget about the emptiness in my heart. I mean it. You are the only one who doesn’t make me feel like a fool, lovie… Ever since I met you, ever since we drank a few nights ago, every greeting of yours every morning— Fuck, makes me so warm.”

This was the real Kyle in front of you. You could finally see him beneath the flesh and bones. His words made your heart ache. Him? Unlovable? He was surrounded by the wrong people then because nothing in him could ever make him unlovable.

“It’s okay. I am also… not very good at all this.” You mumbled, unable to suppress a soft giggle from escaping your lips. Idiots, you both were. “And… don’t think that you are unlovable.”

Kyle nodded and pressed one more quick kiss on your lips, his heart hammering against his chest fast at your words, his hands fiddled with the hem of your pajama shirt, his fingers aching to lift it up. “Can I…?” He asked, his eyes focused on you so intently, as if trying to memorize your very soul.

With a nod from you, he gently eased your shirt off you, sliding it up your head before putting it on the couch behind you. His breath hitched once his eyes landed on your bare torso, lips parted in awe. Pretty. Prettiest.

You looked away in embarrassment, realizing that you weren’t wearing a bra. You didn’t know that someone would be there in the balcony when you had gone out for fresh air — that someone being Kyle. You wanted to say something, but your thoughts were cut off when you felt both of his hands gently caressing your breasts, sizing them up while his fingers dug in your soft flesh, causing your breath to hitch and body to tense up.

“Relax, lovie… Tell me if you don’t want it.” He pressed a kiss on your cheek, smiling warmly at you. Kisses, kisses, kisses — he had given you so many kisses already, made you feel so special. And now this. All the earlier stress from work today, all the bad memories just seemed to wash away as his hands lovingly fondled your breasts.

You took a few deep breaths, feeling your muscles relax. “Okay… Okay.” You nodded, nibbling on your bottom lip as your eyes watched him, his thumbs gently brushing against your nipples that had begun to harden up under the sweet attention that he was giving to your chest. A little squeak left your lips when his thumb pressed against your right nipple gently, your sensitivity causing you to accidentally buck your hips forward.

“Woah there…” He chuckled teasingly, pulling his hands away from your chest before he held onto your hips gently, keeping them still. You grumbled at how he was getting amused at every embarrassing thing your body was doing.

Kyle was truly taking pleasure at the little twitches in your body, and as much as he wanted to take you right this very second, he wanted to be patient, to gently coax you into fully relaxing. Only then was he going to fuck you. He gently lowered his head, ignoring the way his back was leaning forward in a somewhat awkward manner, his lips gently brushing against your right nipple.

“Can I?” He whispered, looking up at you from this angle, watching the way your brows were furrowed and lips were slightly parted, your head nodding too quickly. He slowly latched his mouth to your nipple, his tongue caressing the soft bud with care. You moaned softly, your fingers going to his head once again, clinging onto his hair.

He took his time sucking on both of your nipples, hands never leaving your hips. Each swirl of his tongue around on your sensitive skin caused you to shiver, chest rising and falling with each breath you took. Once your nipples were all wet and swollen, he began peppering gentle kisses on the softness of your breasts before eventually pulling his head back, licking his bottom lip in delight.

“You have no idea what you're doin’ to me, lovie…”

He slowly eased you off his lap before laying you down on the ground, making sure that the fluffy pillows you both were seated on earlier were now resting underneath you. Once he got on top of you, kneeling in between your legs, he slowly began to press soft kisses on your belly, his hands holding onto your hands. He smiled against your skin once he felt your fingers lacing with his, his lips trailing a line of kiss down to your belly button before resting on top of them hem of your pajama trousers.

“Can I, lovie?” He groaned softly while pressing kisses on your waist line, wanting to make sure that you wanted this as much as he did. He was kissing on a particular ticklish spot of yours, causing you to squirm and laugh shyly.

“Fuck— yes. Yes, Kyle…” You whimpered out in between your soft giggles, your fingers slowly leaving him once he pulled his hands back. He slowly tugged your pajamas down, sliding them off your ankles and socks-cladded feet. His eyes fell onto the pair of panties you wore, a wet patch visible on them. His heart bloomed with fondness at how adorable you looked like this, all flushed and squirmy, visibly needy.

His thumb brushed over the wet spot, gently outlining your folds from the fabric of your dampening panties. Your hips twitched, your hands desperately holding onto your breasts since they didn’t know what else to hold onto. His other hand gently fondled your thighs before reaching to slide your panties down, tossing them aside.

“Holy fuck…” He breathed out in awe once his eyes fell onto your glistening cunt. It was so fucking gorgeous, his lips trembling a bit. Fuck, how did he get so lucky? He looked at you to make sure you were okay, noticing how you looked so fuzzy with pleasure, an excited smile adorning your lips.

“Kiss…” You whined out softly, hands reaching forward, aching to hold his face. He chuckled under his breath and nodded, gently leaning down to press his lips against yours while your hands cupped his face, his tongue finding yours. While he kissed you passionately, his fingers reached down to gently caress your wet folds, sliding his fingers up and down your cunt. Your whimpers were sucked in by his mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as your hands held onto his face dearly, your hips bucking forward to somehow get more contact with his hand.

He slowly pulled away from the kiss, his other hand going in between your legs too. His thumb cautiously brushed over your clit, feeling it pulsate and twitch underneath. God, just how needy were you? It was adorable, causing him to smile affectionately, his thumb beginning to rub your clit in circular motions. A breathy moan left your lips, your hand coming to cover your mouth because what if your noises are just so damn annoying to him? But the glare he shot you after that made you uncover your mouth once again. “No need to hold in your noises.” He grumbled softly.

You nodded sheepishly, your body struggling to stay still as his thumb continued to rub your sensitive clit, his finger gently coming to circle your entrance, feeling how warm it was. “Can I push my fingers in?” He asked softly, leaning down to press a peck on your forehead. You nodded, taking a few deep breaths to relax your muscles.

He started with one finger, gently sliding it into your tight entrance with surprising ease, probably due to how wet you were. Your walls tightened around his fingers as he gently began to rub it inside you, his thumb continuing to mindlessly fondle with your clit.

“Mmh… Kyle…” You let out a soft moan, eyes glossy due to how good it felt, your nerves feeling tingly — in a good way.

“Want more?”

“Yes—!”

Kyle slowly eased in another finger inside you, and soon one more. He couldn’t help it, you were being so good for him. He gently began thrusting his three fingers in and out of your tight cunt, stretching you nicely, his thumb never stopping from giving your needy clit some attention.

Your eyes rolled back, lips parted as your hips gently bucked back and forth in sync with his fingers. His fingers were rubbing against the sweet spongy spots inside you, causing your face to contort in pleasure. Even your own fingers couldn’t make you feel so good.

It wasn’t long until you felt your walls tightening up around his fingers, breathing getting shaky as your mind became blurry. “S-So close…! P-Please— Need it, need it.” You mindlessly babbled, almost sobbing out once the wave of pleasure hit you hard, warmth bursting in your stomach as your climax hit you hard, your body squirming. Kyle’s eyes were wide with adoration, his fingers slowly down but never stopping, letting you ride your orgasm out while his eyes looked down at the sweet, sticky white cum on the base of his fingers — your cum.

“Fuck… You are so good f’me, lovie.” He eased his fingers out of your pretty cunt, leaning down to gently kiss your chin, your teary eyes fluttering open to look at him. He smiled at you before gently putting his wet fingers in his mouth, lips nicely closing around his fingers as his tongue licked your cum off them. Your eyes widened in a mixture of surprise, arousal and embarrassment. He was actually licking your cum.

He savored the bittersweet taste before pulling his fingers out of his mouth, grinning cheekily at you. “Tastiest thing I ever tasted.” He commented, earning a gentle swat on his arm from you.

“Cheeky bastard…”

“You know I am.” He cooed before slowly sliding his hoodie off his head, revealing his nicely muscular torso.

You gawked at him, a tiny gasp leaving your lips as your eyes roamed over his upper half, looking at his smooth skin that was adorned with some little scars here and there, a bigger one staring from his waist and probably leading to his back. He's pretty.

He noticed your reaction, the cheeky grin never leaving his lips. He knew that he was good looking enough, and the fact that you find him attractive as well somewhat boosted his confidence even more — in a very good way.

Your hands gently reached up, caressing along the small scars on his shoulders before moving to rest against his muscular chest. “You look nice…” You finally managed to gather some courage to compliment him, all the anxiety just melting from your body. Your thighs were still trembling, the wetness continuing to pool in between your legs. Your eyes looked down, catching a glimpse of light happy trail leading down to his sweatpants and them— Holy fuck. You felt your mouth water once your eyes landed on his sweatpants, a visible erection visible there that you seemingly hadn’t noticed before. Your mind blanked out for a few seconds before you quickly looked back at his face, catching him staring at you with a knowing gaze.

“Do you want me, lovie? Want me in you?” He asked, tone a bit firm yet gentle at the same time — highlighting how he truly cared about you. He didn’t want to fuck you if you didn’t want it. You nibbled on your bottom lip for a few seconds, staring at him with a hazy gaze as you thought over his question.

Did you want him? Oh fuck. So much.

“Yes… But I-I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You responded in a meek voice, causing his eyes to soften up.

“Trust me. Gonna take ya out on lots of dates after this, I promise.” He whispered, words full of sincerity. With one final kiss on your lips, he slowly tugged his sweatpants down alongside his briefs, not bothering to keep them. He tossed them aside before gently resting back in between your legs.

His cock was so hard, precum already sliding down his length. He was nicely sized with a big length and an even better girth. It would probably destroy you if you weren’t so wet right now.

He paused for a while, brows furrowing as he looked around. “Don’t have a condom, fuck.”

“I’m on pills.” You reassured him. It was true that you were on pills, despite having barely anyone to hook up with. Maybe you were just waiting for someone, someone like him — someone that reminded you of the sunset with how warm they were, somehow who eased the storm inside your head. He was just so perfect in every way, and he didn’t even know it. Fucking evil.

Kyle nodded, gently spreading your legs apart with his hands, his fingers kneading into the soft flesh of your thighs, massaging your muscles. “Gonna fuck you so nicely, lovie. I promise I will.” He said, words dripping with genuine warmth. He slowly pressed the tip of his cock in front of your swollen clit, nudging it — like a kiss. He began rubbing your clit with the tip of his cock, his hand gripping the shaft to keep his throbbing erection still. You let out a breathy sigh, melting into the pillows beneath you while he continued to tease you.

“Kyle, please…” You groaned shyly, voice laced with mild frustration and overwhelming need. You needed him in you, to feel his skin against yours so you could assure him of how lovely and special he truly is — a fucking gem in the rough battleground he had to face so much.

Kyle nodded, eyes glinting at amusement at your pleas as his hands moved up to gently hold onto your waist, aligning his cock in front of your entrance. “Ready?”

With one final nod from you, he gently began pushing the tip of his cock in your tightness, a blissful groan leaving his lips as he wetness engulfed him slowly. He made sure to look at your face for any signs of discomfort from the stretch, because fuck it was a lot. He found none and that was the green light for him to slowly push his cock in, inch by inch, until it was nice and snug in your tight cunt, some of his public hair tickling your skin.

“You okay?” He asked, one hand reaching up to gently brush some of your hair off your forehead which was a bit wet from sweat now, placing a kiss in between your brows while you nodded.

“Mmph—… So good…” You slurred out, feeling so full with his cock all stuffed in you. Your hands made their way to rest on his back as he leaned down on you, your fingers rubbing gently on his nape. “L-Like you a lot, Kyle. Don’t want you to think that you are not loveable… O-Or that you are a fool. You are so perfect in my eyes…” You fumbled on your words in the midst of the pleasurable haze, though your words were as genuine as they could — your heart speaking to him.

Kyle’s heart skipped a beat at your words, his brown eyes softening up. Fuck, you’re just so sweet, filling his empty heart. He smiled to himself and nodded, pressing soft kisses on the tip of your nose, causing you to let out a heartful giggle. He chuckled alongside you, rubbing his nose against yours affectionately before he slowly began to thrust his cock in and out of your tightness, his right hand clasping onto your waist again while his other hand moved in between your legs, thumb resuming to gently play with your sensitive clit.

His thrusts were gentle and paced nicely, not too agonizingly slow and not too fast. This was all to give you pleasure, to show how you had made your way into his heart so easily. He rested his head in the crook of your neck while your fingers gently dug into his back, not too hard to leave any marks. Breathy, blissful moans left your lips while a smile adorned your lips — just refusing to go away.

You could hear his soft groans echoing in your ears, his lips peppering kisses on your earlobe and down your jaw. Your skins were pressed together, making everything so humid as he kept a steady pace, the tip of his cock gently slamming against your cervix, causing your toes to curl up. His girth rubbed against your spongy sweet spots just perfectly, making you literally swoon while your eyes struggled to keep open, mind fogged with this feeling that was making you melt into mush.

“So tight— lovie. So perfect and warm f’me…” He breathed out, thumb sliding up and down your sweet clit as he hips moved alongside yours, skin gently slapping with one another. His musk mixed with yours, alongside the perfume that he had worn earlier, making his head spin.

You couldn’t stop a tear from escaping your eyes, your sniffle catching Kyle’s attention as he pulled his head back from your neck to look at you, your eyes all teary. “Feels too good?” He asked, kissing the tear away as you nodded, whimpering softly as your lips quivered.

“Never felt so good before…”

“Me too.”

A familiar pressure began building up in your lower abdomen once again as he continued playing with your bundle of nerves, cock continuing to thrust in and out of your cunt, balls smacking against your skin. “Close…” You mewled out, the pressure feeling stronger than before as your fingernails dug into his back, your legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him as close as you could, your movement causing the swollen tip of his cock to hit your cervix once again, causing your mind to go all white as your orgasm hit you once again, your body convulsing in pleasure as you cried out meekly, his cock coaxing you to ride your pleasure out while your folds fluttered around him. a white creamy ring made its way on his shaft, which was your doing. Your brain felt so foggy, body lightheaded and relaxed as he pressed soft kisses on your cheeks.

“Good God… Such a perfect thing ya are, cummin’ on my cock. Can I cum in you, lovie?” He grunted, his own orgasm approaching as his thrusts got a bit sloppy from the wet mess you created, his cock throbbing inside your tight walls. You nodded breathlessly and his balls tightened almost immediately, his orgasm hitting him in waves as thick ropes of cum spurted out of his cock, painting your insides white.

He didn’t pull his cock out once his thrusts slowed down before coming to a stop, his hands sliding up to cup your face lovingly, looking at how pretty you looked after being fucked, letting himself relish the way you were wrapped around his cock. An adorable mess actually.

“Kyle…” You shyly smiled at him, eyes half open while your hands moved to hold onto his shoulders, your body feeling so damn sensitive.

After a few more minutes of just basking in your warmth, Kyle slowly pulled his cock out of you, some drops of thick cum sliding down your cunt. It made him want to fuck you again, but he didn’t want to tire you any more than you already were.

“Let’s get you cleaned up…” He slowly got up on his feet and searched for your bathroom in the apartment, coming back after a few minutes with a pair of wet towels. He began cleaning your body, which was still trembling in pleasure — the towel gently gliding against the skin and in between your legs, cautiously cleaning your inner thighs.

“Pillows got dirty.” He cheekily mumbled, causing you to pout and look at him lazily.

“You will clean it… S’your fault.”

“Fine.”

After he was done cleaning you up, he gently eased you up on your feet, leading you into your bedroom, his hands carrying both of your clothes and putting them to the side, tossing the towel in the laundry — already memorizing each corner of your apartment.

He went to the bathroom momentarily to quickly clean himself up before he came back, guiding you to gently lay on your bed, your hand grabbing his wrist. “Stay with me…” You tiredly giggled, mustering up as much strength as you had to pull him on the bed too.

Kyle’s heart almost exploded in his chest at your words, his breath hitching as he looked at you in awe before nodding. Not bothering to wear any clothes, you both slid into the covers, his arms wrapping around you while your head neatly tucked into your neck, one leg hooking around his waist. “Sleep well, lovie… Gonna be here with ya when ya wake up.” He promised, placing a soft kiss on the side of your head as he felt your breathing calming down, your body and mind soon entering a state of peaceful slumber — probably the best sleep you had in months.

You never put a label on your relationship with Gaz. It was definitely not casual — something more for sure, especially with the blossoming feelings in your heart that could be described as nothing but romantic. Love, even. You didn't know what properly being in love felt like, maybe whatever this was that you felt towards him. He had taken you out for a date to an amusement park before he had to go for his deployment. A date. It meant something to both of you, right?

“Only three weeks, lovie. Promise I’ll be back soon.” He said softly while standing in front of your front door as he prepared to leave, reassuring you even though he had spent the whole last weeks cuddling you and trying to tell you that it will be quick. Your eyes were all teary, mind overwhelmed with anxiety because you had no idea how the whole thing even works. You just prayed that he would come back safe.

You nodded at him, handing him a box of cookies you had baked for him after hours of watching tutorials. “For you…” You sheepishly mumbled, wiping the tears that had formed in your eyes.

Kyle gratefully accepted the box before pulling you in a tight hug, smothering your face up with kisses. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Fuck three weeks. It had been five. You had stopped receiving messages from him after the two week mark, and all you felt was nauseous from how anxious you felt, hearing the loud beating of blood in your ears while your stomach uncomfortably twisted.

It wasn't until this morning that Kyle had finally texted you with a “Coming today.” — so painfully dry in comparison to his other messages but you could only rationally conclude that something must have happened in the mission. You were frustrated, yes, but that was just a result of being so overwhelmed for the past five weeks.

It was raining heavily today, the sounds of the rain sliding against the glass of your window alongside the muffled thunder somewhat soothing your nerves.

Though for Kyle, the rain was a mess. His flight had just landed an hour or two ago, and now he was at the base. The traffic was fucking jammed around the area, and his teammates couldn’t give him a ride home too because one of the SUVs had to go for repairing. Just his bloody luck. He didn’t want to keep you waiting anymore, he couldn’t. Not after everything he had gone through in this mission.

Blood was dripping down Kyle’s forehead as he struggled to maintain his vision, hiding behind a wall while gunshots roared behind him. The enemies had outnumbered them badly, and he had to hide here until more of the team arrived.

He didn’t want to die. God, not here, not now. Not after just figuring out so much about himself, not after just meeting you. Oh, you. You were there, waiting in your apartment. And fuck, he was so late. He had said three weeks, but it had been four starting today.

Wasn’t his fault though, even though it felt like one. They had gained new intel on the enemy last minute after what felt like a failed mission, and they knew that they couldn’t leave it.

God, he was terrified. It wasn’t often that he felt true fear. But he felt it now, only because he didn’t want to leave you alone, not at least without telling you how he felt about you. To expressing his undying feelings for you, to—

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud thunderclap, a groan leaving his lips. Slowly but surely, he made up his mind. He was going to run over to the apartment complex. It wasn’t that far away from here and he had enough stamina, plus he didn’t give a fuck about the heavy rain.

With his duffel bag in his hand, he sprinted out of the base, legs carrying him towards the streets. His blue cap was soaking, barely covering his face or providing him some sort of cover as he ran and ran through the slipper pavement, ignoring the ache in his head that was a result from the wound he gad gotten, although not fatal but still painful, a bandage now place on the sidre of his forehead.

Eventually reaching the apartment complex you both lived in, he breathed heavily, standing outside the building, not caring about being all wet. Still, hopefully nothing inside the duffel bag was ruined. He sent you a quick text, asking you to meet him outside.

You had rushed out of the apartment building as soon as you got his text, heart beating fast due to the sudden rush of adrenaline, a jacket hastily put on you while you held an umbrella. Your eyes looked around the foggy street before you spotted him, a big smile coming on your lips.

“Kyle!” You gasped in pure excitement, carefully making your way over to him. Though as soon as he saw you, he dropped his duffel back and rushed over to you, his arms pulling you in fast and tight, causing the umbrella to drop from your hand and fall onto the ground.

“Lovie! G-God, fuck… So sorry for leaving you… So sorry—” His voice cracked as he fumbled out every explanation he could form, his mind already overwhelmed at the sight of you. God, he missed you so much. His arms were wrapped around you tight, facing burying into the crook of your neck, feeling the familiar scent cloud his senses and calm him down.

“Kyle… It’s okay. Hey, s’okay…” You mumbled softly, still a bit confused though he could explain it all later. Right now, all that mattered was him. “We are gettin’ wet, we should— Wait, is that a bandage? Are you ok—”

But before you could finish your sentence, his mouth had already found its way to yours, kissing you gently. Your eyes immediately fluttered shut, your hand reaching up to gently take his cap off his head and hold it as you kissed him back, both of your arms wrapping around his neck while his hands held your waist.

The rain fell on both of you, your clothes clinging to your skin while a cool breeze brushed past you both. But he was already lost in the taste of your lips, and the feel of you in his arms. For the first time, Kyle felt like he was worth something, like he was not alone anymore. That he's loved.

He gently parted from the kiss, whispering gently into your ear, words that made your heart swell up in affection that you didn’t know you were capable of feeling.

“I love you, lovie.”

And God, you loved him too. More than anything.

349 notes · View notes

99hook · 10 months

Text

One & Only

Synopsis: He swears he doesn’t care but his actions prove otherwise.

Warnings: FWB situation, Cursing, angst, unprotected sex, angry sex, degradation kink, choking, creampie, daddy kink, oral sex (female receiving), then there’s lots of fluff towards the end.

In other words, 18+

A/N: I’ve been working on this for a good minute now and I think she’s finally readyyy! I hope y’all love it. (If you have a thing for jealous, protective Hook (Tyler), you’ll definitely love it.) enjoy babes & Happy 4th if you celebrate!!

“I didn’t know there were a whole bunch of rules to this!” You shouted from where you stood in the kitchen of Tyler’s hotel room. He had his back turned staring out the sliding glass doors that overlooked Chicago. “I thought we were both just having a good time.”

Tyler didn’t have enough composure to be able to respond right away. As soon as he saw you and whoever that dude was at the bar with his hand on your thigh, he could only see burning red and with every single word that comes out of your mouth, all he can think about is how that dude tried to slide his hand underneath your dress, and how you probably would have let him do it if Tyler wouldn’t have grabbed the poor guy’s wrist and nearly snap it in half.

“And besides, you really have no right to be mad right now.” You were slurring your words and Tyler could practically tell the level of alcohol running through your blood just by the way you’re talking. “It’s not like I let that guy fuck me.”

Tyler whipped around with eyes of fury. His jaw was set and brows knitted so tightly together. Rage was the only emotion he was showing even though deep down inside, he was feeling far more than just that. “Didn’t look like you were making any effort to stop him when he tried to basically finger fuck you in the middle of the bar!” His voice boomed through the room, surely everyone on the nineteenth floor knew what happened tonight, at this point.

“That never would have happened.” You crossed your arms in an attempt to hold your ground, even though it became increasingly more difficult as the room started to spin. “I just don’t understand how you can get so mad. I don’t get mad when all those bitches in your phone send you pictures of their nasty asses!” You noticed the throbbing of Tyler’s jaw. His narrowed eyes averted to the floor before he ran his clammy hand through his wildly disheveled hair and muttered barely loud enough for you to hear, “It’s not the same.”

He stepped out on the balcony and slammed the glass door shut. You stared at him through the large window as he leaned against the railing and looked down on the dimly lit city. Tyler knew that he didn’t have solid ground to stand on in this situation. You weren’t his girlfriend, or anything official besides a fuck buddy. He knew you didn’t have to be loyal to him in any sense, but the thought of you with anybody else? Just the mere thought was enough to make him want to break necks.

The door slid opened behind him and your light footsteps patted against the cemented floor of the balcony. Tyler kept his eyes fixated on a taxi parked outside that bar the two of you never should’ve went to, in his opinion. You tip-toed over to him and leaned your elbows against the railing. You followed his gaze down to the city street below but it was nothing but a blur of swirling lights to you.

An elongated sigh slipped through Tyler’s nose and caught your attention. You turned to look at him, his jaw still set and eyes not even daring to look at you. He was infuriated with no real right to be, but if there’s one thing that you did know above all else, it’s that you love getting him riled up more than you would ever truly admit. Something about the way his jaw could cut like glass and his eyes feel like they practically spear your soul is something you can’t help yourself over.

There was an ache between your thighs and an increasing wetness already soaking through the thin fabric of your panties and the need for him was stronger than you could bare. If you knew anything, it was that you and Tyler were better at communicating in any way, shape or form other than actually talking, and you didn’t want to waste any time trying to get a point across to him any other way other than the best way you know works.

You grabbed Tyler’s arm, expecting him to stiffen up but to your surprise, he didn’t. You picked it up and slid between him and the balcony railing and wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. Tyler’s dark eyes were staring intensely into yours, and it was clear he was still furious, and the thought of that guy’s hand on your bare thigh was probably driving him insane but he couldn’t deny that he had an idea on how to release all of anger and it starts and ends with you.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” You bat your lashes as your nails rake through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I guess I shouldn’t let anyone touch me but you.” He knew that you knew what you were doing, but he was quickly becoming putty in your hands at the feeling of your nails scratching through his hair, your innocent looking eyes staring up into his and the pet name that you know drives him crazy falling from your lips. All he can think about is bending you over that railing and making you scream his name to the entire city of Chicago.

He was trying hard to recollect his thoughts but the second you grabbed a hold to his broad shoulders and lifted yourself up to sit on the railing, then proceeded to latch your plump, warm lips to his neck he was absolutely done for. His arms instinctively wrapped around your back so there wasn’t a chance you’d fall nineteen stories down and you wrapped your legs around his waist as you sucked on the one sweet spot Tyler had right below his ear.

“Don’t know why I bothered anyway.” You whispered against his skin. “Nobody can do what you do to me. Nobody’s ever came close.”

There was an urgent need for you arousing at an incomprehensible pace and the fully hardened bulge of his sweatpants was proof of it. One of his hands kept you pressed against his chest and balanced on the railing while the other one found it’s way to your thigh and you instantly spread as far as you possibly could the second his calloused fingers met with your silky skin.

“You still let that dude touch you.” Tyler groaned, his voice raspy and sore from the yelling and the alcohol. “Still let him think he could have you. Let him think he could do this-“ a harsh squeeze to your thigh earns a whimper to fall from your lips and buzz against his neck. “Such a little fucking tease.”

You were sure you were dripping to the floor at this point. Tyler had so much agitation built up from the events of the night and he just wanted you to understand it. “Still don’t ever wanna see any other motherfucker touch you like that again.”

Your head was swimming and you knew it wasn’t the liquor doing it anymore. Tyler’s words echoed through your ears and only left you dripping for him, impatiently waiting for him to do what he does best to you.

“Never again.” Tyler’s large hand squeezes your thigh again, earning another whimper to slip past your lips. You pulled back and brushed your nose against his. “Never again.” You repeated. “Can I show you how sorry I am, daddy? Please?”

“No.” Tyler’s voice was like ice in your blood. “You’re not sorry yet.”

He grabbed both of your hands that were wrapped around his neck and brought them to his shoulders instead. “Hold onto me, I mean it.” He demanded before he lowered himself, kneeling down until he was level with the view of your drenched panties peeking out from under your short dress.

You gripped his shoulders anticipating the feeling he was all too good at indulging you in. “Look at me. Don’t take your eyes off of me.” He demanded again. His eyes stayed trained on you, taking into account every single movement you made, every little change to your facial expression, he loved watching what he was doing to you all the while making you watch him do it.

His palms roamed over the tops of your thighs before he slid them up to your hips, pulling the dress up with it. There was a thrill being nineteen stories high, exposed with a city below you. There was something strong brewing within you that had you moaning before he even fully touched you and Tyler absolutely lived for that affect he had on you.

His devilishly dark eyes were burning a hole as he held them on you. You felt the tips of two of his fingers skim down the fabric of your panties and a cocky smirk played on his lips. “Being a little tease must turn you on.” He slowly slid his fingers back up, then back down over the lacy fabric, reveling in the way your chest was already heaving and broken moans were falling into the air.

“I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea.” Tyler shakes his head as a low chuckle slips past his lips. “I think you should know by now that if anyone knows how to tease, it’s always been me.”

You knew exactly what that meant and you felt your stomach twist the minute the realization hit you. Tyler had the willpower and the stamina that was nearly otherworldly. When he really wants to, he can easily have you pleading and begging him to stop teasing you. He loves it, probably more than he loves anything else. The way your frustration sends his name flying through the air, bouncing off walls of wherever you two decide to be at for the time being. The sweat that soaks his bedsheets every time he’s done riling you up and finally decides you’ve been tortured enough. He loves it and you knew it.

Your nails dig into the thick bands of muscle on his shoulder blades when you feel his finger tip lightly graze your clit without the fabric of your panties in between. Tyler watched your mouth fall open and your thighs jolt at the feeling and he smirks to himself because he knows he hasn’t even done anything yet.

The moon above illuminates you just enough for him to see every little reaction he pulls from you. He glides the tip of his rough middle finger down from your clit to your throbbing entrance but doesn’t allow it to go any farther especially when you buck your hips foward in a silent plead.

You feel his free hand grip your thigh hard enough to likely leave his finger prints embedded into your skin. You were already heaving above him, holding onto his shoulders for dear life while he barely allowed you to have anything at all from him.

“Tyler” you moaned out, “please don’t do this to me”

Your desperation and your neediness was music to his ears. He glided his finger back up your slit, collecting all of your sweet juices that slid down the length of his finger and dripped onto the cement below. He pressed the pad of his digit to your clit and held it there, refusing your attempts to make him do anything more.

“I haven’t done anything yet, angel.” The pet name Tyler only used in a condescending way such as when he’s fucking the shit out of you and forcing the dirtiest words to bounce off the walls, or when your throat is being stuffed with his length and even in the filthiest state he could possibly have you in, all he can think to call you is just that. His angel.

“You’re teasing me.” You sigh as your neck rolls and you face towards the open sky above.

Your head immediately snaps back down and a loud, strained gasp flies through your lips when you felt two of Tyler’s long fingers enter you and curl against your g-spot harshly. “I said keep your eyes on me.”

He pumped your sweet spot with a force that had your stomach curling into the most pleasurable knots. A feeling of euphoria found it’s way into you, settling in your veins and rushing through your hot blood like a high you never wanted to come down from. You did everything you could to keep your eyes from closing, or rolling, or anything other than what Tyler told you because you knew the consequences if you disobeyed him in a mood that he’s in.

Tyler’s eyes never once falter from your flustered face as he watches your brows knit and your teeth sink into your bottom lip hard enough to turn the pink flesh white. Your back arches as his fingers thrust even faster and he takes his free hand and wraps it around your back to keep you steady before he draws closer and blows hot air over your throbbing clit.

It brings him the most pleasure just seeing you coming undone before him. He takes pride in knowing your body better than anyone probably ever has or will. He knows all your little sweet spots and all the ways to make you come around his fingers, his cock, his tongue or anything else you two decide on at the time. He knows how to make tears prick the corner of your eyes and how to make you scream his name until your throat is sore. He knows how to make you plead for more and beg him to stop when the pleasure is too much for you to bare. And he wants to make damn sure nobody ever gets the chance to learn your body, to admire every part of you the way he does.

His eyes stay trained solely on you as his tongue flicks your clit in an agonizingly slow manner. You were probably drawing blood on his shoulders even through his hoodie with how hard you were gripping them. Tyler felt the burning sensation every time you clawed him and he loved it. He loves when you leave red scars all down his back and his arms, and when your nails leave indents on his skin for hours afterwards. Loves it so much he might get it tatted one day.

“Fuck, Tyler please” you beg, your thighs clenched around his head in hopes that you’d hold him right where you needed him but all it took was for his elbow to push them apart again. He pulled both fingers out of you and took that hand to keep your thigh pressed against the balcony railing, focusing solely on your pulsating bundle of nerves instead.

“Hold on tighter” he rasped as he gripped your thigh with one hand and pressed the other into your lower back since he knows how you like to arch that back when the orgasm rips through you. When you adjusted your grip on his shoulders you felt his plump lips latch around your clit and he immediately started sucking in a steady pattern that had you seeing more than just the stars of the sky above you.

You couldn’t contain the moans and whimpers slipping past your lips especially when he groaned against you, shaking his head from side to side as if you were his last meal on earth and he needed to absolutely devour every last inch of you.

“Bet that stupid motherfucker at the bar was thinking he’d be able to do this.” Tyler groaned against your heat. “Taste you like this.” He flicks his tongue over your clit as he cups his lips around it, sucking and flicking his tongue in a repetitive motion. “Should’ve done more than break his wrist now that I think about it. Something worth getting thrown out the bar for.”

Tyler’s words are muffled against you, his saliva and your juices intermingled as they slide down his chin. You are starting to hear a ringing in your ears the more his tongue works it’s magic on you. Coupling that with Tyler’s fingertips digging into the skin of your thigh and the reverberations of his raspy voice as he mutters against your hot center is enough for you to cry out to the heavens above and the city below.

“Fuck Tyler, please don’t stop I’m so close!” You didn’t even recognize your voice at this point and neither did he. For a split second he thought about doing the little trick he always does when you’re about to come on his face, knowing how crazy it drives you but then he decides, right before your high rips through you like a tidal wave, that you’re not sorry enough yet.

As soon as the warmth envelops you and your eyes involuntarily roll back due to that delightful sensation buzzing through your body that’s so close to reaching an all time high, Tyler stops everything all at once and watches as your thighs tremble in despair for that euphoric feeling that was ripped away from you in a split second.

“Did you really think I was going to just let you have it like that? After everything you did tonight?” He chuckles darkly, only making you throb and your walls clench painfully around nothing. You couldn’t lie, you loved when Tyler’s condescending side came out to play. Especially when it’s so clearly paired with jealousy he always swears he never has.

He rose to his feet and gripped your hips tightly, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip as the flavor of you sank into his tastebuds. “I’m gonna make sure you know I’m the only one that can ever make you feel this fucking good.” His low voice breaks through the night air, sending shivers to skate down your whole body before his large hand wraps around your neck and his lips crash into yours.

Your eyes rolled back as soon as his tongue surpassed your lips. Your sweetness mixes with tinges of liquor and spearmint as his tongue collides with yours. His fingers and thumb gently squeezed the sides of your neck sending a warmth to roll through your blood and the moan that left your lips only found itself caught in his throat.

He pulled back and pressed his forehead to yours, noses brushing as you both caught your breaths. “Turn around and bend your ass over this rail.” He groaned as he let you go. You slid off the top of the railing and did exactly as he told you. You were on your tip toes in anticipation as you painfully awaited him. You heard rustling behind you before you felt his swollen tip at your entrance.

Tyler bent over your body and his lips found your neck, where he took his time peppering hot kisses and small nibbles of his sharp teeth all the while his hand holds his shaft as he glides his length up and down your slit. The wetness could make him come right then and there but that’s not what the goal was to him. This was about proving a point you’d never forget in your lifetime.

His lips lingered over the shell of your ear, hot breath tickling your skin as he whispers, “Don’t you dare hold back on me when I finally give you what you want. When I’m done with you the whole city better know who’s fucking you this good. Understand me?”

You nodded in a needy manner, but that wasn’t nearly enough for him. His hand slapped down on your right ass cheek, surely leaving a red print in its place for days ahead. “Words, Y/N.”

You winced at the pain that quickly morphed into pleasure and out came, “yes, Tyler I understand!”

“Not Tyler.” He slapped down on your reddened skin again.

“Daddy! I understand daddy!” You corrected yourself, and it was then that you felt him crash into you without any warning, pushing his cock fully in and filling you in a way that only he has ever been able to do. You dropped your head and let a breath of both relief and frustration out. Tyler held still until he felt you relax around him, and no matter what kind of sex was being had, whether one of you were angry or not, he always made the point to take care of you.

“Whenever you’re ready, angel.” He breathily sighed behind you, his thumbs gently stroking the exposed skin of your hips. You nodded and picked your head up, pushing back against him as a silent signal that you were more than ready, and Tyler, knowing your body so well, knew what it meant.

He pulled out of you, leaving only his tip at your entrance for a few seconds before he slammed back in, pulling a series of whines from you that he wished he could listen to day and night. Your hands gripped the railing and his gripped your hips as he did everything he could not to come inside you right then and there. His teeth clenched behind his lips as he pulled back out of you just to drive back in again, and each time you made a different sound, let out a different whine or moan but he still didn’t hear what he wanted to hear.

His hand wrapped around the disheveled locks of your hair and pulled your head back. He folded over you again, his teeth grazing the shell of your ear before he rasped, “Remember what I told you?” His voice alone made you clench around him and he groaned when he felt it. “I want this whole fucking city to know my name.” He thrusted a little faster, banging into your g-spot each time.

“Fuck Tyler” you moaned as best as you could.

“Louder!”

“Tyler!” You shout, your voice strained but it surely echoes. The sun was just peeking over the horizon and it didn’t take a genius to know people were probably on their way to work right now. A lot of people were probably going to hear but at this point you didn’t care at all. All you cared about was what he was doing to you.

Tyler let go of your hair and found your hands instead. Your fingers spread and his fit in the spaces as he picked up the pace. He dropped his head to your back and peppered sloppy kisses to your warm skin, muttering against you, “You feel incredible, angel.” But you didn’t hear over your own broken moans and whimpers.

You felt that feeling that you’d been chasing after crash into you without a warning at all. Suddenly you were seeing white behind your eyelids and your knees buckled in, but Tyler was quick to grab your hips and steady you. Your walls throbbing around him were what drove him over the edge, and before he knew it his hips were stuttering and a low groan flew through the air before you felt his warmth fill you to the brim.

The feeling had you collapsing against the railing as pure ecstasy coursed through your body. After Tyler pulled out he slid his sweatpants back up to his hips and leaned back to admire the mess he’s made of you. You were attempting to catch your breath, hair sprawled every which way as you leaned over the railing.

Tyler pulled your dress back down and brushed the hair out of your face. He took a second to really look at you. To him, you’re always so beautiful in moments like this when your hair is a wild mess and your cheeks are tinted pink. He loves afterglow on you almost as much as he loves being the one to make you look like that.

He smirked down at you, his dimples showing as he did so. Hair was stuck to his forehead by the sweat he worked up and his eyes were low and hazy when you looked at him but he had never looked better. You chuckled lightly and shook your head as you managed to somehow stand straight up, even though you were a bit wobbly at the knees.

Tyler grabbed both of your shoulders and steadied you. “You ready for round two?” He smirked down at you, laughing when he saw your eyes widen instantly. He shook his head. “I’m just playing. You ready to get some sleep? I can tell you are. You’re all fucked out.”

“You look so proud to say that.”

“I am.” His sleepy eyes flickered from yours to your lips.

It may not have been the perfect time to address it but you knew it needed to be. After the events of the night and Tyler breaking some guys wrist for just simply touching you, it was time to clear the air and you both knew it. You couldn’t fuck things out forever.

“You know what happened?” You asked as you took a seat in the outdoor chair, and Tyler followed your actions as he leaned against the glass door. “What happened?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I think we fucked this whole friends with benefits thing up.” You admitted, feeling a tinge of heat underneath your cheeks. For some reason it was all too easy to give Tyler any and every part of your body but admitting your feelings was horribly difficult.

Tyler was silent for a couple of tense seconds, his lips folded underneath his teeth as he contemplated what he should say. Finally, he inhaled a deep breath and nodded his head. “I think we fucked that up from the start.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I caught feelings before I even knew your last name.”

He was unashamed to admit it and the boldness had you ready to jump on him and fuck until the sun went down. You knew you had feelings for Tyler too but to actually admit that felt terrifying considering you never wanted to give your heart to anybody after what you’ve been through in the past. Somehow between agreeing to be fuck buddies and now, you have confessed your whole life to Tyler. He’s the only person who knows you just as well as you know yourself. The only one to know your past and your struggles. Any secrets and desires. You gave your heart to him a long time ago but somehow you’re just now realizing it.

“You never told me.” You lowly whisper.

“You would have broke my heart if I told you.” He steps closer and brushes a piece of hair off of your shoulder before cupping your chin and raising your head. He then kneels down before you, his eyes roaming over every inch of your face, as if he’s deciding where to plant his lips and settles on your forehead.

“We don’t have to do this right now. Let’s go to bed. Together.” He offers his hand and you take it, and wordlessly the two of you find yourselves underneath the bed sheets in a different way. It was all too easy to wrap your arms around Tyler’s bare torso and lay your head on his chest, listening to the steady rythum of his heartbeat and occasionally tracing the outline of his tattoos.

There was a lot that probably needed to be said but the only thing that Tyler decided on was the only thing you really needed to hear.

“Ever since I met you, it’s only been you.” He whispers as his fingers lazily play with the ends of your hair. “You’re my one and only.”

You feel your heart flutter at that, and when he places a kiss to the top of your head. “Get some sleep, angel.” He whispers before he wraps his hand around your back. Before you drifted off into sleep you placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight, Ty.” You barely whispered and laid your head back on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat lull you to sleep.

#hook aew #hook #aew hook #hook imagine #hook nation rise #hook x reader #send hook #tyler senerchia #cold hearted handsome devil #hook aew x reader #hook aew smut

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vrisrezis · 8 months

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Guys this is au where suguru isn’t insane cuz in my mind he deserves eternal happiness and to be surrounded by people that love him and to live a long life and- yea anyways basically au where that didn’t happen and kuroi and Riko r actually fine

Also reader is considered to be on equal footing with geto and gojo, fellow “strongest” if you will :p

Also this was originally short hcs on how geto woos his stoic crush but I got carried away

Not proof read made this at like 3 am alr I’m so tired and sick and insane and this is probably terrible

I am under the believe suguru doesn’t even have to try to woo you, no matter how cold blooded and closed off you can be. Suguru is such a sweet man that it’s hard not to fall in love. No matter how much you try to reject it, it will happen one way or another. That doesn’t mean he knows it, but he will still have that power over you regardless. He has such a sickly sweet laugh, it’s impossible to not stare and admire. It’s impossible to not make your heart race, to not feel that sudden heat on your cheeks that thankfully isn’t noticeable. His genuine smile has you on cloud nine, but your favorite is when he shyly looks away from your hard gaze that never softens, despite how the male makes you feel deep within your very soul. The world will never know how bad you have it for him. Suguru is rather closed off about his affections towards you himself, though not nearly as much. Besides he makes it pretty obvious to you anyway, as you are somebody who has mastered the art of hiding how you truly feel. It’s in your blood to read through any facade, especially somebody you pay such close attention to.

Suguru, at first, is overly polite with a shy smile. The attempts in becoming a friend are certainly there, but he’s not as bold as his best friend is, so it’s a rather slow progression. And honestly, without gojos help, he wouldn’t have been able to form such a close bond with you over time thanks to how extroverted the white haired male can be. Regardless, over time as he grows more comfortable with being your friend, he teases you, he even shows subtle ways of being affectionate, typically through casual, physical touch. A hand or elbow on your shoulder, fixing your hair, etc. though he could be bolder, your general personality drives him away from closer and more intimate touches. He still gets rather shy around you, and when you grow comfortable enough to be in close proximity of him, his cheeks get all red. Which you secretly think is adorable. His general shyness around you indicates his affections towards you as well, he’s constantly left wondering if you can just feel how much his heart constantly pounds around you. Or if you feel his gaze on you during class. He wonders if you appreciate his kind gestures, constantly trying to take you out and buy you food or simply buying you things you’ve learnt to open up to him about enjoying. He wonders if you know how grateful he is and how special he feels, knowing you of all people trust him with things you wouldn’t trust just anybody with, even if it’s something as small as admitting to the games you like playing.

You’re both smitten for eachother, one way or the other. You’re not completely clueless to it like he is, but you’re scared. You’re scared of vulnerability, you’re scared to love another human being. Because that means admitting to weakness. It means admitting that you’ve let another person get the best of you, when you’ve worked you’re entire life trying to be as strong as you possibly could be, to not let a single person in, to only be able to rely on yourself, because you’re the only one that’s trustworthy, letting people in gets you hurt, leaves you broken. All that time, building up those walls, all the pain and abuse and torture you went through, was all broken by some pretty boy in the matter of seconds. And for some god damn reason you welcomed it with open arms. And for some god damn reason, you don’t regret it. You feel the happiest you ever felt. It’s strange, cause before him you think you didn’t even know what happiness really felt like. All you knew was pain, all you knew was people would hurt you if you got too close. A part of you thinks, you were happy because you finally learnt how to love another, and you finally learnt what it felt like to have another love you. You know he loves you for you, not in spite of you. But a part of you, just can’t believe it was so easy, so effortless. Not only to love him, but to be loved. You chased endlessly after your family, to pay attention and to give a damn and for them to show some sign they cared. The day never came. But now you know, that love isn’t something you should bend yourself over backwards for. Love isn’t forced, it is natural. And yet, you felt yourself trying to go back to your old ways, in fear of history repeating itself.

You tried pushing him away, again. After everything that happened with toji, you realized you could lose geto in an entirely new way and you were not willing to go through that again. You needed him away from you, out of your life. You needed to focus on being a jujutsu sorcerer, that was what was most important.

You were exhausted. And it’s no question why.

Once again you are training at a rather late hour, something you seem to have been doing nonstop since you “failed” to deal with toji in time before your two boys nearly died in the process. You were always very hard on yourself for things like these, one of the few things you were pretty open about was your personal failures. Doesn’t matter to you that you were stabbed in the stomach, that you shouldn’t be training, you didn’t care. Things like this never stopped you, why should it now? Besides, you’ve been through worse.

Suguru had tried countless times to get you to stop, this included gojo and even shoko, too. But you didn’t listen. You never listened to them anyway.

But the moment he sees this going on for officially five days straight, he’s had enough.

“Still at it, huh?” he says, but you don’t even bother to stop and look at him. It’s become routine at this point for him to come and try to get you out of this motion you’ve been stuck in. Besides that, you’ve been trying to keep him at arms length. You don’t bother saying anything, putting both your fists out to have your hands let out a particularly smaller fire than what you normally would’ve made. You stop for a brief moment, huffing at the lack of results.

“Maybe some sleep will do you good?” he suggests, but you don’t bother to look at him as you continue your training, seemingly ignoring him. He lets out a sigh, suguru is not one to be stern with you. Out of the two of you, you’re the one that does the scolding, though it’s typically towards gojo, it’s been towards the raven haired male on several occasions, due to his overconfidence in a lot of the situations he’s constantly being put in.

“Don’t push everyone away, y/n.” he says, his voice being the most stable you’ve ever heard it. His voice is firm, rigid, even. “Don’t push me away.”

There’s a moment where you stop, a brief moment, but it’s enough for him to quickly put a hand on your shoulder. You look down, your back facing him. Your hands are clenched in fists in a feeble attempt to make yourself seem strong, to make yourself seem unfazed, unavailable. You don’t need anyone. You don’t need him, either. Why have you suddenly convinced yourself you do? You’ve lived your entire life without him. Why does it suddenly feel like you need him? It’s not fair.

You grit your teeth, but you finally allow him to turn you around.

He finally gets a real good look at you, for the first time in a couple days. He noticed you were losing weight, sleep too, but he didn’t think it got this bad. He lets out a guilty sigh at the pure sight of you, and you hate how it sounds. Like he’s pitying you. But honestly, how can you blame him? You are a pitiful sight. It’s a disgrace to consider yourself one of the strongest.

“Whens the last time you ate?” he finally manages to ask you, “slept?” his voice is laced with concern, but you don’t meet his worried gaze. “Who knows..” you shrug, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “Are you done worrying about me, cuz I have shit to do.” you say, in your usual nonchalant manner. Trying to pull off this facade this late has you exhausted.

You two haven’t been very intimate with one another, but suguru finds his soft hand on your cheek anyway, causing you to look up at the male in front of you. He strokes your cheek with his thumb, “don’t hide from me, please?” he says, “this has been hard for me and satoru too but… even we are learning that we’re okay, what’s got you so messed up over this?”

You look up at him, you don’t push himself way anymore. You accept him with open arms.

“I feel like I failed you all.” you admit. “I feel as though there’s something I could’ve done. The mistakes I made on that mission nearly cost kuroi and rikos lives, I wasn’t good enough. I cannot forgive myself for that.”

He pulls his hand away from your face, you almost want to glare at him for the lack of touch, but he grabs your hands instead. “Jeez..” he says, sounding pretty tired himself. “You’re always too hard on yourself y/n. It was me that practically failed to protect them, you’re the one that saved them, you know. And, if it weren’t for you, that fushiguro wouldn’t even be dead right now. If you’re really beating yourself up over that, please don’t.”

You sigh, looks away from him, “I just don’t … want to fail again. More than anything I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

Suguru seems to take in your words, as if something was finally clicking with him.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asks, and you almost want to cringe at his words. You quietly nod.

“Y/n, Cmon. You could never lose me. One of the strongest, remember?” he says, a soft smile peaking through, but you shake your head, taking your arms away from his. He frowns, seeing you retract again. “Yeah well, I almost did. I almost wasn’t enough to stop you from dying. I was almost the reason you died.” you say, and honestly it’s the first time since you were a young child you let anger drip from your voice. He almost hates it’s directed towards him. But a part of him knows he need to let it out somehow, someway, after everything you seem to constantly bottle up.

“There was a time in my life I had nothing, suguru. And now I have everything. I have you. I am not willing to lose that. Anytime I form a connection with anyone, I lose them. That cannot happen to me again.”

You feel arms wrap around you. It’s sudden, “tch- do you not listen to me when I talk? Yknow, I should really kill you.” you threaten, but as his hand comes in contact with the back of your head to stroke your hair, you fall silent. “I love you.” he admits, quietly.

“I don’t care how you feel about me,” he continued, “but no matter what, I want to be there for you. You won’t lose me, you know? I’ll always come back to you. Cause my love for you is so strong, it’s enough for me to change fate itself, to escape even the clutches of death. I love you so much, I would do absolutely anything to make sure you wouldn’t lose me. It’s okay to let me in, fully and unapologetically.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t regret opening up to me.”

It takes you a minute, but you finally allow him in. You wrap your arms around him, you let yourself cry for the first time since you were a child, for the first time in front of anyone since you were an infant, you allow yourself to finally grieve, to cry, to feel.

And you welcome it, with open arms.

#geto x reader #geto x you #geto x y/n #suguru x reader #suguru x you #suguru x y/n #suguru geto x reader #getou x reader #getou x y/n #getou x you #suguru getou x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 3 months

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Never Say Never

Chapter 8

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 7K

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“Shit!” El yelled just before a massive thunk silenced them all, every head turning to find you lying on the deck as if you had fallen forward.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve muttered, racing to your side, dropping down to his knees and shooing away Miles who had run over to investigate. You were lying on your stomach, arms splayed to either side, your face resting on one cheek. He laid a hand on your cheek, brushing your hair back. “Honey? Hey?”

“She just went!” El shrieked, slightly panicked. “Her eyes rolled up into her head and I tried to grab her but she just fell forward!”

“Honey?” Steve tried again but received no response. As gently as possible, he placed his hands on your arms and rolled you to your back. A splash of red was painted across the side of your face and his stomach seized. “She's bleeding.”

“Holy shit!” Dustin shouted. “That’s a lot of blood.”

“Damn. Let me grab something to clean it up so we can see where it’s coming from,” Lucas told him before rushing into the house.

Steve looked up to see both young boys standing, frozen, their eyes wide with fear. Eli’s blue eyes swam with tears, completely focused on his mom and Steve wanted to kick himself for forgetting they were there. For not thinking about how scary this must be for not only his son but for Eli, to see his mom unconscious on the ground.

“She’s gonna be okay,” he assured them, cradling you in his lap, your head lolling to the side like a rag doll. “We’ll get this blood cleaned up and see what happened.”

Lucas came racing back, wet washcloth in his hand and Steve took it, carefully dabbing at the skin of your face, around your temple, not wanting to hurt you any further. As the red came away, he saw a small cut just above your eyebrow and released a long sigh of relief.

“Should we call an ambulance?” asked Mike, kneeling down next to him.

“No. It’s not nearly as bad as it looked. Head wounds bleed like a motherfucker but it’s just a small cut. I’ve got some butterfly bandages in the bathroom cabinet. Max, can you grab me one?”

The redhead nodded and disappeared into the house. Steve placed one of his arms under your neck and the other in the crook of your knee. He wasn’t going to leave you out here on the hardwood decking. He rose up onto his knees and then carefully lifted you off the ground, your body limp in his arms.

“What can I do?” asked Robin hesitantly.

“Nothing. Pretty sure you’ve done enough,” he snapped, feeling guilty when his best friend flinched. He knew she meant well but they wouldn’t be in this position if she hadn’t decided to meddle in shit that was absolutely none of her concern. He softened his tone as he looked back over at the boys. “I’m just taking her to the couch where she’ll be more comfortable. I think she just passed out. She’ll probably wake up in not too long.”

“She did this before,” Eli said as he trailed behind Steve into the house. “We were at the library getting books like we do every month. The librarian, Ms. White, was trying to get my mommy to take a book. She said it helped her when her mom died and she was talking about how hard it was to lose someone. My mommy went really white. She looked like a ghost. She was breathing really funny and then she fell to the ground. They called the ambulance and I got to ride in it to the hospital. It was really scary but she was okay. That’s when she told me that sometimes her feelings attack her.”

“Do you know if she sees a doctor about her feelings?” asked Max gently as she handed the bandage to Steve.

“Yeah. Aunt Janice got her to go after my daddy went to heaven. Mommy was crying in her bedroom a lot. She didn’t think I knew about it but I did. She still does it sometimes but not like then. Aunt Janice and Matt would come over and make dinner or play games with me and mommy would just disappear for a while. I think she didn’t want me to see how sad she was.”

“She was just trying to protect you because that’s what moms do.” Steve could hear the emotion in Robin’s voice as he tenderly placed the bandage over your wound, his best friend’s words tight. “That had to be really hard for her and for you.”

“Yeah but she’s a lot better now. She told me the doctor helped her. He gave her stuff to do. Like, sometimes she has to find three things to look at, three things to listen to, and three things to move like her fingers or toes when her feelings get too big to keep in her body.”

“It’s good that she’s so honest with you about what’s going on,” Max said, kneeling down in front of Eli. “When my dad left my mom she was a mess but she never talked to me about it. I knew she was hurting but I never knew how to help or what to do. It could be even more scary because I didn’t know what was going on when she’d just shut herself in her room. I had no idea she was feeling this big thing called depression so I just thought I was the problem. I know watching your mommy go through this might be scary but it’s way less scary when you know what it is. You’re such a good kiddo for understanding and trying to help her.”

“What you and your mom went through…” Dustin paused, sighing with a shake of his head. “My dad went to heaven, too, but I was even younger than you so I don’t really remember it. But my mom has never been with anyone else. She said he was her everything and she could never replace him.”

Steve closed his eyes, his hand on your forehead. The hardwood of the floor was making his knees ache but he couldn’t bring himself to move as he took in Dustin’s words. Maybe that was what was happening here. Maybe, even if you liked him, you knew you could never feel for him the way you felt for your husband.

Maybe Steve would never be able to be what you needed because what you needed was gone. How could he possibly compete with a ghost? Not just a ghost, but a ghost of a man who had been everything to you? It was clear, with how hard you'd taken his loss, how you still struggled with it, that you'd loved him deeply. He kept searching for his person but maybe you couldn’t be it for him because you'd already found your person even if fate had been cruel enough to take him away.

“Mommy’s always told me the truth. She says it’s just her and me now so we have to have each other’s backs and be honest with each other. I know she doesn’t like me to see she’s sad but if I ask her about it, she doesn’t lie. Is she…is she going to wake up?”

“Of course she is,” Dustin told him, placing his hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Her feelings just got a bit bigger than she could fight and now her body is resting for a bit.” He glanced over at Steve and then back to the boys. “You know what? How about we head down to the basement and I introduce you to DnD? Lucas? Mike?”

“Yeah!” Lucas exclaimed, overdoing the excitement. “Let’s do it!”

“Absolutely,” agreed Mike. “Jere tells us you’re a big fan of all things nerdy. You’ll fit right in with us, kid. Trust me, you’re going to love it.”

“You will!” Jeremiah beamed. “Uncle Dusty and Uncle Mike built me my own DnD table and they’ve been teaching me. We do campaigns twice a month and it’s really fun!”

Eli looked uncertainly toward his mother, clearly torn about leaving you, about going to have fun when you could be hurt. Sweet kid. It was so obvious how much he’d tried to pick up the mantle of man of the house even when that burden was far too large for his tiny shoulders. It was written all over that serious little face how deeply he felt the responsibility to take care of his mom. Steve gave him a wink and a smile.

“Go on. She’s going to be fine and I won’t leave her side until she wakes up and I know she’s okay. I’m going to take care of her for you. I promise.”

The little boy still looked conflicted but he followed the guys, looking back over his shoulder once more as if making sure that Steve was still right next to you. He was and he had no intention of moving until you knew you were alright.

“Steve…” began Robin.

He held up his hand, “Just don’t, okay. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I know you were trying to look out for me but I don’t need you to. I don’t need a protector, Robin. I’m thirty-two years old.”

“But you never had one when you should have had one, Steve, and I think that’s why you sometimes make poor choices in life. I am always going to look out for you because you’re my best friend and I love you.”

“We all do,” Max added, dropping down into the chair across from him, pulling her knees into her chest. “She seems great. I really like her. We weren’t trying to freak her out or convince her not to see you. I swear. We just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

El sighed, plopping down on the floor, “Yeah. We’ve watched you struggle for so long and if anyone deserves to find happiness, it’s you. We just didn’t know her whole story…”

“Maybe you could have kept quiet until you did,” he shot back.

“Maybe we should have,” agreed Robin quietly. “I just…I knew she lost her husband but I didn’t know how recently it was and I just wanted to make sure that she wasn’t using you as a stepping stone, you know? You’re worth more than being someone’s rebound to help them get past their grief before they move on to someone else. You deserve better than that.”

A moan caught his attention and Steve’s head turned, watching as your eyes fluttered, your head turning slowly from side to side as you struggled to pull yourself back into consciousness. Everyone sat silent, leaning in, waiting for you to wake so they could see if you were okay.

“Hey honey?” Steve asked softly.

“Mmm…” you murmured, lids lifting, your eyes crossing as you tried to focus in on the source of the voice.

“Hey there,” Robin cooed softly from just over his shoulder. “You had us all worried for a minute there. So glad to see you waking up. Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Glass of water? Some aspirin? Maybe a snack?”

“Robin, give her a damn minute,” Steve sighed with a roll of his eyes. She just couldn’t help herself. She was already bad enough but when she felt guilty, she was even worse, tripping over her words and her own feet to make everything right.

His friend held her hands up in apology, taking a step back. She really did mean well. She had such a big heart and was one of the kindest people he knew but she was so unaware of what was appropriate at certain times. Her foot was permanently wedged in her mouth.

“Steve?” you asked in confusion, your eyes coming into focus, a little divot between your eyebrows. “What…what happened?”

“You passed out,” Robin told you, leaning in again. She really just could not stop herself.

“I did?”

“Yeah,” Max piped up from her spot in the chair. “You face planted right into the deck.”

“But don’t worry,” Robin added. “Steve cleaned up all the blood and he put a bandage on you so you’re good as new. Really. Never looked better.”

“Blood? I was bleeding?” You reached for your head, fingers searching, wincing when you hit the tender spot where your face had made contact with the hard pieces of cedar.

“Don’t touch it. It’s just a small cut,” assured Steve, taking your hand in his, pulling it away from the tender skin. “It bled a lot. You know, head wounds. I’m sure Eli ran into something when he was learning to walk. I know Jere did. He fell forward right into the corner of the wall. I freaked the hell out because he bled like he had been decapitated but once we got it stopped and cleaned up it was this itty bitty wound. It amazed me how something so small could bleed so much.”

“Probably have a hell of a bruise tomorrow though. That was a hard fall,” Robin muttered.

“Eli? Oh my god. Where is…?” You sat up quickly before Steve could stop you, your eyes crossing again. Your hands grabbed for his arms and he held onto you, easing you back onto the pillow.

“Whoa there. You whacked your head pretty good and you passed out. You might want to give it a second before you try getting up and when you do, maybe go slow, okay?”

“Eli,” you repeated.

“Eli is fine. He’s down in the basement with Jere and the boys. They’re teaching him all about their nerdy game, okay? He was worried about you but I assured him you’d be fine and they managed to distract him for a bit. You know, you’re going to have to stop falling down whenever you’re around me or I might have to start keeping a good hold on you whenever we’re together.”

Your eyes went wide, a soft gasp falling from those perfectly pink lips. Jesus, what was that color? It was like cotton candy at the fair, tempting and delicious, making his mouth water. He guaranteed no lipstick brand could ever duplicate it.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, your hand flying up to cover your eyes.

___________________________________________________________

The moments before you blacked out suddenly came rushing back to you and you wanted nothing more than for some natural disaster to hit at this moment. Preferably an earthquake that would create a massive fissure in the floor and swallow you whole. The girls telling you not to mess with Steve’s heart, announcing he liked you, Eli telling everyone you liked him, stating you should go on a date. Shit. No wonder you'd passed out. That was enough to make anyone’s anxiety skyrocket.

“Hey, are you okay?” came Steve’s voice, so close, too close. You needed to get the hell out of here. “Do you need to go to the hospital and have someone look at your head?”

“No, I…”

Robin interrupted. “Are you sure? You were out for a little while. We weren’t sure if we should call an ambulance or not. Eli said this happened to you before in a library but you were okay and so we thought you just passed out. And the cut on your head is pretty itty bitty but if you need a doctor we can totally take you to a doctor.”

“No. No. I’m fine,” you managed, pressing your hands down into the couch in an effort to sit up.

Two strong hands came to your shoulders, pressing you back down, “No, you’re not. I mean, you will be but maybe you shouldn’t be trying to sit up so soon. We don’t need you passing out again.”

“I’m not going to…look, I need to go. I need to go home. I need to get out of here.”

“What are you talking about?” scoffed Max. “You really think we’re going to let you drive after you hit your head and blacked out for ten minutes?”

“I’ll call a cab,” you insisted.

You swallowed hard as bile rose up from your stomach, acid scorching your throat. Whether it was from mortification or passing out you had no idea but you knew you needed to get out of here. You needed space. You needed air. You needed to be as far away from all these people as you possibly could. These people who’d just witnessed what would probably go down as the most mortifying moment of your life.

“Honey, you’re not calling a cab,” Steve stated, his tone resolute, pulling out the dad voice on you, trying to let you know that he wasn’t giving you an option.

“Yeah, I mean you really shouldn’t be alone right now. You could have a concussion for all we know. You could wind up with personality changes or something and then Eli will be standing there wondering where his mom went and who this stranger is in his home. Or you could have memory loss and not even remember who he is or who Steve is and then how will you two ever move out of the friend zone if you just go back to the start space again?”

“Robin, I do not have a concussion,” you groaned. “I am not going to lose my memory. Trust me. I wish I could forget some of the shit that happened today but I have not. Lucky me. I am pretty sure I’m good. I will call a cab, Eli and I will go home, and I will rest.”

“But what if you go to sleep and then you never wake up?” Robin pressed. “It happens. People hit their heads, they think they’re fine, and then boom! They’re just dead.”

“Oh my god!” shrieked Max. “She’s not going to die. Can you stop freaking her out? I think you’ve done enough of that today already.”

“I’m not trying to. I swear. I just don’t want anything to happen to her. She might be Steve’s only chance at actually finding happiness and I like her.”

“Jesus, Robin!” Steve growled, rising from the ground so fast it made your head spin a bit watching him. His fingers clenched into claws in front of him and then he inhaled a large breath, releasing it slowly before speaking again, his hands now resting on his hips. “Look, I need you to go, okay?”

Robin’s eyes went wide, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with me. I know I should shut up but I can’t seem to stop talking. Please don’t be mad at me.” She looked down at you. “Please don’t hate me. I suck at social cues but I swear, I am a really good person and I like you and once you get to know me, I am not as bad as this is making it seem and I’d really like us to be friends.”

“I don’t hate you,” you told the distraught girl. “I don’t even know you, Robin. How can I hate you?”

“Steve, please…”

“Look, I’m not mad. I just…this has been a lot. This has been way, way too much. Okay? She’s had a lot of shit thrown at her all at once and she just passed out and hit her head. I just think that maybe she could use some peace and quiet.”

“I just need to go home. There’s plenty of peace and quiet there,” you argued again.

“I doubt that. Remember I have a seven year old boy too? They provide neither peace or quiet and I agree with Robin. I don’t think you should be alone right now. I would feel a whole lot better if you just stayed here so I know you’re alright.” He looked down at you, pressing his hands together in front of him. “Please? For me?”

His eyes, those swirls of warm color, like a forest of green leaves colliding with the brown of the branches, implored you to just give in and you found yourself helpless to refuse.

“Okay, fine,” you agreed softly, trying to ignore the warmth that ignited in your belly as he smiled at you.

“Thank you. There, Robin. She’s staying here. So you don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll watch her memory, her personality, and her breathing, okay? I will make sure that she stays alive. You guys can all go.”

“You sure you don’t need any help?” asked El.

“I’m sure. I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Thank you but I got it.”

“Alright, well let’s gather all the boys then and get out of their hair.” El leaned forward, placing a hand on your arm. “I’m really sorry about all of this and I hope you feel better.”

“Thank you.”

“Lucas! Mike! Dustin! Let’s go! Steve’s kicking us out before Robin can humiliate him any further in front of the girl he likes!” Max yelled from the top of the basement stairs, making you wince.

“Nice, Max. Real nice,” muttered Steve with a roll of his eyes.

The sound of footsteps, like the roar of a stampede, filled the house as five boys all came tromping up the stairs. Eli hit the top, his eyes lighting up when he saw you with your eyes open, racing to his mom and flinging himself down on top of you.

“Oof!” you laughed, wrapping your arms around your sweet boy. “I’m okay, buddy.”

“That was scary!” His voice was muffled, pressed against your neck but you could still feel the tremble in his little body.

“I know it was and I am so sorry that happened but I am okay. My feelings just got the better of me that time, buddy.”

“Damn, glad to see you’re awake,” Dustin huffed, flashing you an adorable grin that only made his cheeks even more round. “You scared the shit out of all of us for a minute.”

“So I was told.”

“So, why are we getting kicked out?” asked Lucas, turning to Robin. “Did I hear your name? What the hell did you say now?”

Robin just shrugged, a guilty smile on her face. Max sighed, rolled her eyes and grabbed onto the back of Lucas’s shirt, dragging him toward the door.

“What didn’t she say?” El laughed, taking Mike’s hand. “It was really nice to meet you. Hope we get to see you again, if Steve lets us anywhere near you.”

“Me too,” you replied, lifting your hand and giving everyone a wave while keeping your other hand firmly around your son who was still clinging to you like you were a raft on turbulent waters.

“Seriously?” muttered Mike as they made their way out the door. “What did Robin say?”

“Probably just what all of us are thinking,” Dustin replied, the door shutting behind him.

“Really sweetheart, I am okay,” you assured your son once again now that everyone had gone. “Just a little bump on the head. I fight those feelings and usually I win. This time they were just a bit stronger than me but I’m still okay. Your mommy always wins in the end.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, pulling away just enough to look at you and your heart broke at the sight of his puffy eyes and red face, tears trailing down those sweet, full cheeks.

“Of course I’m sure. I can’t let those feelings win. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I have you. You’re the thing that always gives me strength, Eli. You’re the reason I keep fighting again and again. They can’t ever beat me because I have you. You’re my sunshine that beats the darkness. You’re my joy that always overpowers the sadness. You’re like Captain America’s shield or Wonder Woman’s bracelets.”

He grinned, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve, “The Bracelets of Submission are pretty powerful.”

“They are and so are you.”

“And so are you, mommy. You’re more powerful than all the superheroes in all the comic books in all the world.”

“Thanks, kiddo. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You and your mom are going to spend the night here. How does that sound?” Steve asked.

Spend the night? When had you agreed to spending the night? You thought he’d meant to just stay for a couple hours to see how you were feeling, not the whole night.

“Really?” Eli’s eyes went wide, his grin almost cracking his face in two. Of course he’d love that idea. “A sleepover?”

“Yep. We just want to make sure your mom is back to one hundred percent so you guys are going to sleep here so I can keep an eye on her. I’m not letting her go home until I know she’s okay.”

“You’re gonna take care of her?”

“I sure am.”

Eli grinned, looking over at Jeremiah, the two boys looking far too excited at the idea of Steve ensuring she wasn’t concussed. But wasn’t that what Eli had said? That he wanted you to have someone to take care of you? They were twisting this situation into exactly what they wanted it to be. And you couldn’t even be upset about it because they both just looked so damn hopeful and adorable.

“I knew you would be the perfect person to take care of my mommy. I knew it!”

“So, how about you two take Miles out in the backyard for a bit to play and we let your mommy get some rest?” Steve suggested. “I’ll stay right here with her and make sure she’s alright, okay? And how about we order pizza later?”

“Pizza!” both boys yelled at the same time.

“I usually only get pizza on Fridays and now I get it on Sunday too! Cool! This is like the best day ever except for Mommy falling down!” Eli stopped, his face scrunching. “But what about school tomorrow?”

“I’ll take you both to school.”

“I can take him to school,” you stated. “I have to get to work anyway. We can just get up sooner and leave so I can change clothes.”

Steve shook his head. “I can take them both. I mean, I already have to head that way anyway and I’m sure Jere has something in his closet that Eli can borrow for the day. Then you only have to worry about getting yourself ready, as long as you’re feeling okay.”

“I will be. I already feel fine now,” you argued, attempting to sit up and immediately lying back down when a wave of dizziness and nausea overtook you.

“Oh, do you now?” teased Steve, dropping down at the other end of the couch, lifting your feet and placing them in his lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if your heart rate hadn’t just ratcheted up to two hundred at the physical contact. “Look, I know you are dying to bolt out of here and leave a you shaped hole in my wall because of my friends. But that’s just them. They love to stick their nose in where it doesn’t belong and think they’re making my life easier when, in reality, they are making it exponentially harder. There is nothing for you to be embarrassed about. If anyone should be embarrassed, it’s them. They’re meddling almost caused you a trip to the ER.”

“No they didn’t. It’s fine.”

It was. Kind of. Maybe. You didn’t know. All they were trying to do was look out for their friend. You couldn’t fault them for that. And nothing they had said had been wrong. You couldn’t make any promises. You hadn’t opened your heart to anyone since Justin’s death. You hadn’t found anyone that made you want to, until now anyway. But were you just being selfish? There were so many more hearts involved than just your own. It was hard enough to be willing to risk your heart breaking, but what about Eli, Jeremiah, and Steve?

“It’s really not.”

“No. It is.” You pressed your hands into the couch, slowly pushing yourself up to sitting. The room stayed level, nothing tilting or swirling for which you were grateful. “They were just looking out for you. It’s sweet, really. They don’t want to see you get hurt again and I understand that.”

“There are no guarantees in life. Nobody can ensure someone doesn’t get hurt. Trust me. I would wrap Jere in bubblewrap and keep him away from all the bad shit if I could but I can’t. Besides, we’re not even…I mean, this isn’t even…is it?”

You looked at Steve, this man who’d somehow cracked your heart wide open again. This who’d managed what you never thought would be possible. This man who’d made you feel alive, who’d made you feel truly happy, even hopeful for what the future could look like. This man who was everything you could have ever hoped for as if you'd created him in your dreams and he’d somehow become real. This man who had the power to shatter your heart into dust or bring it back to life.

Was it something? You didn’t know but you knew, as simply as you knew that the sun would set in a few hours and rise again tomorrow, that you wanted it to be. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was reckless. Maybe it was wrong but if it was, how come it felt so right?

You liked him being around. You loved how seamlessly he seemed to fit into your life, how easily he got along with Eli, how fluidly he just seemed to make sense. Eli adored him. He’d already stated that he thought Steve would be a great dad. Not that you were considering that just yet. You might be hopeless when it came to your feelings for him but you weren't insane. Somehow he’d managed to just sneak in under your radar and now you couldn’t picture your life without him in it in some way. Maybe you were just a bit crazy but wasn’t that what life was? Making crazy decisions, taking huge leaps, and just hoping it all turned out okay?

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “Do you want it to be?”

His lips pursed, fingers running over the fabric on the back of the couch and you wished you could be inside his brain, see what he was thinking. You were terrified of putting yourself out there again, opening your heart, letting yourself feel so deeply for someone again to possibly have it all shatter around you. But you were even more terrified of not taking a chance and missing out on what could be something amazing.

“Yeah, I do,” answered Steve after a beat, his eyes lifting to yours, those chameleon orbs a golden brown, like whiskey over ice, burning all the way down your throat to your very center. “I really do.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I guess I thought I was pretty obvious but apparently not. Did you miss me trying to kiss you when we went ice skating?”

“I thought you were but then I wasn’t sure.”

“Yeah, well, it was an epic fail. I told myself to take my time. I know you lost your husband.” His teeth raked over his bottom lip, eyes darting to the floor before returning to hers. “Jere told me that Eli’s daddy was in heaven but I had no idea how it happened or when. I didn’t want to come across as pushy.” Those thick fingers raked through that glorious hair, massaging the back of his head. “Look, I like you, honey. I mean, I really like you. And yeah, I was floored the moment we met because you’re beautiful. I’m sure you know that.”

A million butterflies took flight from within your chest. No. You didn’t know that. Justin always told you how gorgeous you were and you would roll your eyes, telling him he was simply seeing you through rose colored glasses because of his love for you. Hearing Steve say it, it was something entirely different. He had women throwing themselves at him left and right. Women who took time with their appearance, who got regular haircuts, who wore heels and did their make-up every day. It wasn’t that you didn’t have any confidence but you'd never thought you were up to the standards of some of the women in this town.

“But it’s more than that,” he continued, lips pressing together, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Getting to know you…I mean, you’re…hell, you’re amazing. You’re everything I would put on a list of what I think the perfect girl is. You’re kind. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re independent. You’re an amazing mom. And you’re so damn strong. I can’t imagine going through what you have. I don’t know if I would still be standing let alone surviving the way you are.”

Tears stung your eyes and you slid the back of your fingers along them to catch them before they fell. It felt so gratifying to hear someone acknowledge how hard it was. How hard it was to keep moving forward when you felt like your entire world had stopped. How hard it was to live again after losing the thing you were living for. How hard it was to be everything your son needed when there was no one to ever stop and ask what you needed.

“So, yes. I want this to be something. I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand. I want to take you on a real date where I get to kiss you when it’s over. I want to know everything about you. But I understand if you need more time. I am willing to wait. I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to mess this up because I really think we could have something great here. So, I do want this to be something but I don’t want you to feel obligated if you’re not ready.”

“Justin…my husband…we lost him two years ago,” you said softly, each word a tremble in your voice. “He was a Marine. He was supposed to be on a humanitarian mission in Somalia. He assured me there was nothing to worry about. There wasn’t supposed to be any fighting. But things went wrong. Some of the locals did not approve of our troops being there and they attacked. He was caught in the crossfire of the attack. The Marines wouldn’t give me any more information than that because it’s strictly confidential or that’s what they told me anyway.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks and then Steve’s thumbs were there, gently wiping them away. His hand came over to cover yours, engulfing it completely, giving you enough strength to keep talking. You hated talking about this but if this was going to be something, if you were going to try to make this something, then you had to start by being honest with him and letting him know what he was getting into.

“Damn. Honey, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks. You always know it’s a risk when you’re married to a military guy but you just don’t ever want to think it will be you. Then suddenly two guys in uniform show up to your door. They didn’t even have to say anything. The minute I opened that door and saw them, I knew. They couldn’t have been there for any other reason. Their job is to give you the news that your life has been irrevocably changed. You only see them on the worst day of your life. I crumpled to the floor. I don’t even remember their words, don’t remember them somehow getting me to the couch, don’t remember them calling my mom. Lot of good that did. She’s hours away. Somehow I must have asked them to call Janice because here she came. If it hadn't been for her, I would still be on that couch.”

Steve didn’t say a word, his thumb tracing small circles over the back of your hand, and you were grateful. You weren't sure you could keep talking if he spoke right now and you wanted to get this out. He had a right to know. If he was truly interested in this becoming something, then he needed to know everything. He needed to know the mess that he was about to wade through.

“I went to a really dark place for a while. I functioned, but barely. The only thing that kept me going was Eli. He was all I had to live for anymore but I wasn’t really living. It was more like I was just existing. I knew he needed me. He needed me to be his mom. He needed me to keep things as normal as possible and I tried but it was all a show. Inside I was as far from normal as a person can be. On the days it was too hard Janice would come over and amuse Eli so I could fall apart. She finally convinced me to see a therapist and it helped.”

“Good. That’s really good. I mean, no one would expect you to be okay after something like that. I’m so sorry you felt like you had to pretend to be but I am glad you’re doing okay now.”

“See, that’s the thing…” You chewed on your lower lip. “Steve, I like you. I mean, I really like you. You’re the first guy who’s made me feel like I have a shot to be happy again. Hell, you’re the first guy who’s made me feel anything since it happened. But your friends might not be wrong. I don’t know if I am completely okay. I’m on medication, anti-anxiety meds and anti-depression meds. I was on sleeping pills but I weaned off those about a year ago.”

“Okay.” Steve shrugged, shaking his head. “Lots of people take medication on a regular basis.”

“Yeah. They do but I still sometimes have anxiety attacks. Certain things can trigger me and I can’t even always pinpoint what they are. Sometimes it’s something to do with Justin but sometimes it's not. It’s like I can’t handle the unexpected anymore. I keep waiting for disaster to strike or bad news to arrive at every turn. I don’t know. My therapist taught me this 3-3-3 technique. I find three things to look at, three things to listen to, and move three parts of my body. It usually works but obviously that did not happen today. It came on faster than I could process. But I can’t promise you that it won’t happen again.”

“Alright. So, if it happens I’ll know how to help. I’ll be there for you. Honey, you make it sound like you’re going to be such a chore for me.”

“I am. Don’t you see that? I’m not just some girl that’s easy and care-free and I come with a kid.”

“So do I,” snorted Steve.

“Yes but I also come with a ton of baggage. I mean, a warehouse full of baggage.”

Steve flexed his bicep, flashing you a grin, “I work out pretty regularly. I’m a fairly strong guy. I think I can handle hauling around a few bags.”

“Steve,” you sighed.

“Honey, look. I get it. But you think you’re the only one with baggage? The baggage from my parents alone could fill three semi trucks. That’s not even counting my constant search for someone who will love me for me or my failed marriage. No. I don’t take medication and I don’t have anxiety attacks. But I am needy. I am neurotic. I have a hero complex according to Robin, always trying to save everyone in my endless pursuit to matter somehow. I have chosen the wrong women my whole life because I’ve been seeking something I’ve never been able to find. Until you.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough. I know enough to know that you’re different. I know enough to know that this is worth trying. I know enough to know that this could be something amazing if we give it a shot. I’m willing to help you carry that baggage if you’re willing to help me carry mine. Everybody comes with baggage. I think it’s about finding someone who’s willing to help you carry the load. I’m willing to take the risk. Are you?”

You inhaled deeply. “I want to.”

“Then stop thinking so hard about it and do it. We don’t have to rush anything. We can take things slow. Just let me take you out for dinner. See how it goes.”

“What about the kids? If this doesn’t work out…Eli would be crushed if he lost Jeremiah. I think he would be crushed if he lost you.”

“Then he doesn’t have to. We’re both rational adults. This isn’t high school. If it doesn’t work out, then we go back to the way things are right now. I mean, come on. You’re talking to the guy who is still friends with his ex-wife. I was just out with them a few weeks ago for her husband’s birthday. I am more than capable of maintaining contact and being amicable after a split.”

“You’re sure you want to do this knowing all you know now?”

Steve smiled, leaning over your legs, those beautiful eyes gazing into yours, “I’m even more sure knowing all I know now because what I know is you are even more incredible than I thought you were before. Just one dinner. That’s all I’m asking. If you don’t enjoy yourself or you don’t think it’s going anywhere, it ends there. Come on. You can do one dinner, maybe dessert, right?”

You nodded, that terrifying little feeling that was hope blooming in your chest, “I can do one dinner.”

Chapter 9

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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

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seonghwaddict · 9 months

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i loved you — park seonghwa

in which there's nothing like dancing at a ball with your greatest enemy... and the man who broke your heart.

rival king!park seonghwa x fem!queen!reader. genre. hurt no comfort, lovers to enemies... to lovers? warnings. death, like a lot of it, major character death, lots of hurt, no comfort, poisoning, weapons, mild gore. wc. 2.1k

lilo's notes. i do not take any responsibility for any mental damages i may have caused (/j). anyways, i'm not really sure why i wrote this but here it is. i was probably influenced by all the shakespeare i've read recently but who knows? i certainly don't :P. thank you to @nebulousbrainsoup for beta reading, love ya babes!! and a small dedication to @a1sh1teruu and @yoonrimin for helping me make up my mind on posting it. love you all!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

listening to. once upon a december, emile pandolfi.

masterlist

You descended the grand staircase, one of your arms linked with the captain of your army. In the warm candlelight of the ballroom, your light blue—nearly white—ball gown seemed to glow. The guests rocked and swayed on the dance floor as others watched from the sidelines, giddy with the euphoric side effects of their drinks. Citizens of both Utopia and Aurora weaved through each other in graceful twirls and dips. It’s been a long time since Aurora saw peace rather than the bloodshed of men and women alike who were willing to die for their kingdom.

Once you reached the floor, you were offered a dance by a nobleman. After nodding a farewell to General Choi San, you joined the young man as you conversed very awkwardly over a slow waltz. Once you finally got away from him, an older duke from someplace you didn’t recognise, a small estate north of Utopia, was at your side in an instant. Stifling a great sigh, you agreed to a single waltz.

As the man spun you around, you caught a glimpse of a familiar black suit. With a polite smile, you excused yourself and curtseyed to the older man. As you glided to the dais set in marble on the other side of the room, your locked eyes with San for a brief moment. Your posture relaxed as you watched your subjects sway to the melody of violins and cellos. A soft smile painted itself onto your elegant features as you felt another presence next to you. It wasn't hard to guess who it was; the distinct vanilla and citrus scent combined with the long shadow of the tall figure cast onto the floor was enough of a tell.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Seonghwa began, hoping you wouldn’t turn to look at him just yet. “About everything.”

“Of course you’re sorry,” you let out a bitter chuckle as if the losses of the people that matter most to you could be remedied by any of the contents found in a first aid kit.

He looked at you, his eyes widening slightly. You stood beside him like a tree swaying lightly in the breeze of the music. You did not look at him, even as you felt his dark eyes burning into the side of your face. Your face continued to gaze ahead with a solemn expression—the grin that once graced your features was now reduced to oblivion. The young king sucked in a breath and turned back around, watching a servant weave his way through the crowd, offering drinks and biscuits. When the servant passed them, Seonghwa beckoned him over with the raise of his hand. The blond approached them, his posture slightly straighter than it was a minute before. you recognised the man, he had been supporting wounded soldiers as they marched their way out of the forest that served as a natural border between Utopia and Aurora when the war had concluded.

“May I be of assistance, Your Majesty?” he asked, bowing his head subtly.

Seonghwa cleared his throat. “A drink would be nice.”

Without hesitation, the servant handed him a clear drink, contained in a long, clear glass. The king of Utopia nodded a thank you and the servant turned away. He was interrupted by the soft voice of his queen.

“Thank you, Yunho,” you said.

Yunho beamed at you before walking off to serve an older man near the dance floor. As the two monarchs stood in silence for another while longer, the male of you two glanced around nervously. He felt eyes on him. You glanced at him once before averting your eyes back to the crowd enjoying themselves on the dance floor. With a start, you turned to the man next to you after feeling him tap your shoulder. He offered you the glass he received from the servant—Yunho, as you had called him. You eyed the drink, then you eyed him. When you finally took it off his hands, he let out a small breath, the smirk that you fell in love with stretching over his lips. Raising the glass to your lips, you took a sip, enjoying the sweet taste that swirled through your mouth.

“I know it won’t fix anything, but may I ask you to join me on the dance floor?” he asked once you finished the drink. He gulped when you looked up at him, suddenly aware of how close you were. “To show everyone that we have gotten past our differences?”

For a moment, you contemplated his offer, an uneasy feeling washing over you. You would have to go through with the plan either way; a single dance won’t change your mind. He offered you a hand, his smirk turning into a genuine grin once you accepted it. The brunette led you to the middle of the room. You suppressed a flinch as one of his hands found its way to your waist, but still, you rested your hand on his shoulder as your free hands held each other. You swayed to the melody played by the violins. He spun you around occasionally. He liked the way your hand fit in his, slightly smaller and warmer, but they fit together like the gears of a clock. The song was coming to an end, the crescendos and diminuendos of the climax of the piece had long passed. The laughter stopped abruptly and was replaced by confused whispers as the lights suddenly went off, leaving everyone in the dark. You let go of Seonghwa, taking a step back to remove you from him completely.

A piercing scream ripped through the air.

Followed by another one coming from the opposite side of the room. Multiple other screams rang out, accompanied by the quick footsteps of anxious guests trying to get out of the room. Slowly, the lights turned back on. You stood from the ground, where you had been inspecting the lifeless body of a man that lay by your feet, blood flowing from his stomach and mouth and pouring onto the marble floor. Seonghwa looked around in horror—half of his Utopian guard was nowhere to be seen while the ones that were there had been pierced by the sabres of Aurora’s soldiers; a dozen guests lay scattered around the room, dead or breathing in dangerously shallow breaths; crimson streaks decorated the floor like an abstract painting made by a four-year-old; your blood-stained hands, trembling ever so slightly. He expected a look of shock on your face, but that’s not what he saw at all. Your cheeks flushed and your eyes lit up with rage, but there wasn’t an ounce of fear or shock on your face as you stared him down. But he saw past it. The anger was nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades, scared for his life, lonely and desperate. Your shoulders heaved with each breath you took.

“So, this is it?” He arched an eyebrow, watching your every move.

You didn’t respond, instead, your hand pushed a piece of fabric from your skirt to the side and pulled out a dagger, frustrated tears beginning to spill down your face. You took a slow step forward. “You killed my lover, what did you expect me to do?”

“Oh, don’t be foolish, dear,” he chuckled, “This won’t fix anything and you know that. You’ll try to attack me, you’ll fail and I’ll leave, unmarked, and be ready to attack by sunrise for going against our treaty. Wasn’t it obvious enough that Utopia has always had a better military than Aurora?”

You stopped right in front of him, close enough to feel his warm breath brushing against your face. “Yeah? And where is that big bad military right now?” you whispered, eyes flickering around his face, surveying his reaction. “I have nothing to lose, anyway. I’ve already lost it all,” You sneered through gritted teeth. “All… because… of you.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you. He made a clicking noise with his tongue, looking up with a hint of a smirk. “I’m surprised the poison hasn’t affected you yet. Perhaps I didn’t use enough.”

Your confidence visibly faltered and you stepped back. “What?”

“Oh, that’s right, you didn’t notice. The drink I gave you, did it look like water? Hate to break it to you, but I paid that servant boy—Yunho, was it?—to replace all the water with thallium. Of course, thallium takes a while to act on the human body, but when consumed in large amounts, it is very lethal and quite quick to act. Your guests should be dropping dead right outside those doors… right… about… now.” At his last words, screams were heard from outside the grand doors of the ballroom, he seemed satisfied with your horrified reaction to this before adding in an amused whisper, “I’m sure your dear boyfriend could tell you all about it.”

With a cry, you lifted your dagger, hyper-aware of the discomfort in your stomach after what you were just told. He dodged your attack while pulling his own dagger out of the inside of his suit and holding it out in front of him. You, on the other hand, could already feel yourself growing weaker with every breath you took, your chest burning as if it were on fire. You stood opposite each other, arms outstretched with daggers clutched tightly in them; each of you pointing them at each other’s throats. He was calm, chin held high with pride and an expressionless face. You had tears brimming your eyes, pushing their limits, face flushed and lips pulled between your teeth for a few seconds.

“I loved you, Seonghwa,” You let out a noise somewhere between laugh and sob. “But all you cared about is power. You wouldn’t know the feeling of being prepared to do anything for that special person, would never experience that– that pure euphoria when you’re in the same room as them. And I could not settle for someone unable to love me back the same way.”

He didn’t say anything so you stepped closer, lowering your dagger. His gaze followed you as you came closer to him, nudging his dagger out of your way and letting his hand fall to his side. You stopped in front of him once more, your big, wet eyes locked with his. You liked his eyes, when you were younger you could’ve sworn you saw whole galaxies in them. A clang rang through the soundless hall as Seonghwa let the dagger go. He brought his hand up to cup your face, his thumb stroking it gently.

“You don’t understand,” he mumbled, “I had to prove I was a capable leader. My people saw me as a coward for years, I just wanted it to change. But all those years ago, when we hid away under that big oak tree, I was in love with you. I still am in love with you, Y/N.”

Your sobs had once scarred your lips, but that night—before the moon could even join the dark clouds soaring above—you felt the man's kisses that echoed like the final pleas of a collapsing star. For a moment you thought it was ironic, his kisses resembled the electricity of a supernova while his name meant to become a star… though, that’s not the only reason it was ironic. You hesitated for a moment before giving in, but you couldn’t call it off now. Seonghwa let out a gasp and stepped back to look at the blade that had been plunged into his chest, blood already pooling around the knife and soaking through his perfectly tailored clothes. He coughed, blood spurting through his lips before spilling out in a steady stream. You closed your eyes, silent tears dripping down to your chin as you clutched your stomach and fell to the ground. Your breaths became shallow as you lay there, utterly helpless as the effects of poison overcame you.

You felt another body fall to the ground next to you, but like almost two hours before, it didn’t take any guessing to figure out who it was. Your eyelids grew heavy as did your breaths; you couldn’t hold on any longer. Your chest gave a scream of desperation as it struggled for air. But it was too late, your body went limp and cold, and the only thing that stayed warm was the hand that was held firmly by the man you once loved. Soon enough, it too went limp.

network. @cromernet

#cromernet #ateez #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa reactions #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #enemies to lovers #lovers to enemies #hurt #no comfort #park seonghwa

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blossom-hwa · 4 months

Text

memory lane | j.yh

I'm nearly two years late but in my defense I had this written for months already, I was just too lazy to create a graphic for it until now. anyway, this was sparked by the memory lane trip that dr. strange took in multiverse of madness - there are definitely spoilers (check the warnings below) and this story might be confusing if you haven't seen the dr. strange and spiderman movies so keep that in mind!

I made some changes to the plots of both movies, so bear this in mind - y/n instead of mingi (ned's counterpart) is the one with sorcery potential and later joins dr. strange at the sanctum, so y/n is the one who goes universe hopping with america chavez and ends up replaying memories they'd forgotten from when dr. strange erased all memories of spiderman (yunho). this story takes place after they've defeated wanda and returned to the sanctum. this should sum up the biggest changes, hope it helps :)

Pairing: Yunho x gender neutral!reader

Genre: angst (happy ending), Spiderman!au

Warnings: spoilers for the last Dr. Strange and Spiderman movies

Word Count: 5.3k

When you return to the Sanctum, armed with a name and the knowledge of a love you don't remember, you go searching for answers.

Ateez Masterlist

When the dust has cleared at Mount Wungadore and they’ve all made it back to the Sanctum, it takes Strange a few hours to realize that there’s something wrong with his apprentice. Not just the exhaustion, not just the trauma of universe hopping and fighting the most powerful witch in all of the infinite number of universes in existence—that would be normal. This is something different. Something darker.

Something more broken.

“Dr. Strange,” you say later that night when it’s just the two of you, everyone else gone to bed. Flames crackle in the fireplace, glowing weirdly on your face. “Do you remember what happened with Spiderman?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Spiderman?” He knows you were there, remembers that’s how he became aware of your potential for sorcery, but you’ve never really talked about it.

“Yeah.”

He tells you what he remembers. A spell, rips in the universe, a vigilante who wouldn’t let the aberrations die. The mirror dimension, hanging over the Grand Canyon for way too fucking long, and a second spell to right the wrongs of the first.

You take it all in silence, not a single question asked until the end. “Do you remember what the second spell was?”

He looks at you. You don’t look back.

“No.”

“…Okay.”

He ends up leaving first, exhaustion pulling his eyelids down to the point he can barely keep them open as he climbs up the Sanctum’s stairs. He tells you to rest, and you nod, but he’s still not quite certain you heard.

You probably didn’t. Because in the morning when he wakes, you’re gone, only a text left on his phone to give any clue as to where you went.

Gone to visit a friend. I’ll be back. I’m fine.

Please don’t follow me.

. . . . .

Standing in front of the apartment door, an arm raised to knock, you feel like time has been frozen still.

“Memory Lane. Replay your significant memories, now at a discounted price! We remember, so you don’t forget.”

A boy in the spider-suit, face bloodied, eyes broken. A wavering smile on his lips that couldn’t disguise the tears rolling down his face. Hugging you and Mingi with arms so strong but trembling so much you could—you could almost feel them shaking around your shoulders. Eyes zeroing in on the wound on your head, a short gash that left the scar you could never for your life remember where it came from—

He saw it. And asked about it. And heard your babbled reassurances, instinctively steadying you on your bad leg (how did he know? How did he know if you never knew him?) as you and Mingi tried to speak, before saying the words you don’t remember.

“You’re going to forget who I am.”

You swallow hard, trying to reconcile the smiling boy you’d met during your third fight ever with the broken, bloodied man standing before you in that moment. They had the same suit—nearly. Not quite. But they had the same face. The same eyes.

And though you didn’t have a name then, now you do.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Yunho Jeong.”

You loved a boy whose name you don’t know. And he—

He loved you too.

Nausea rolls in your stomach. Your arm has begun to ache from holding it up for so long, but you can’t bring yourself to knock. What if he refuses to hear you? What if he doesn’t want you to remember, doesn’t want you to ask? What if he just isn’t home? You don’t know if you could find the courage to come back again. You can already feel the adrenaline high of the past few days beginning to fade, that initial burst of anger and courage (or was it foolishness? Right now you can’t quite tell) falling away to reveal your confused and broken core.

Your sight blurs, the four numbers marking Spiderman’s door (Yunho’s door, your brain corrects you, and it’s unsettling how easily the name seems to roll off the tongue of your mind though you know you never knew it until the trip down Memory Lane) swimming in your vision. One zero two four. You remember it from the day you walked him back, one of his arms slung around your shoulders, one leg broken and propped up by a cast of your own magic.

The moment had felt—familiar, you remember. Vaguely. At least in the way his tired laughs left his lips, in the way he joked about the villain who had left him in this state, in the way he thanked you as he lay on his bed, the magic cast fizzling out of sight, his reassurance that he’d be healed by morning. It had felt easy, somehow. Like you’d done this before, or something similar.

At the time, you’d brushed it off as Spiderman’s charisma with everybody. The times you interacted with him, watched him fend off villains and help the elderly cross the sidewalk in just two breaths showed you enough. That infectious laugh, the witty barbs, his charming easiness with every person he encountered, villain or no, weren’t special somethings reserved for you, which you reminded yourself in the moments you thought that might be true.

But maybe it was true. That trip down memory lane told you that you knew him even before you did. Knew Spiderman, knew him deeply, knew him well enough to know his name, Yunho Jeong—

Knew him enough that you could kiss him and tell him you loved him, twice, even without the promise of a response.

“Wait. Wait and tell me when you see me again.”

He’d promised. With a nod, and a smile, and words said before that you know from the memory but still don’t remember. He’d said it, sworn it—

“It’s okay. I’m gonna come and find you and—and I’ll explain everything. I’ll make you remember me.” A deep, rattling breath. “And it’ll be like none of this ever happened.”

Yet he never came to find you. For what reason, you don’t know. But you found him. Over and over, you found him—during fights, on trips to the bodega, several times in the Sanctum. And he never said anything.

The ache of a memory that is yours but isn’t thuds dully in your chest. You need to know if it was real. And it if was…

You need to know why he never returned.

Your knuckles rap the door sharply—once, twice, three times. Something clangs and there’s a loud curse in a voice you properly remember, not just know from your trip down memory lane.

Footsteps sound. Something clicks in the door. You have just one moment to prepare yourself before it swings open—

Yunho Jeong’s face stares at you, confused, kind, smiling. If you hadn’t been watching so carefully, you would’ve missed the millisecond of hope and panic that flashed across his eyes that confirms everything you’ve conjectured so far.

You’re not sure how to feel about it.

“Good morning?” He laughs a little, and he’s so good at acting—so damn good, did he take acting classes before? Not that you would’ve known since you only got that one significant memory before you shoved America Chavez on, but you want to grab his shoulders and shake him hard enough to tug those memories loose and plant them back in your own damn head—

“Yunho Jeong.” You take a step forward. “We have a lot to talk about.”

. . . . .

His eyes are guarded when he lets you in the door, but he lets you sit on the couch before he lets loose with a question, more of a statement, of his own. “You know my name.”

You probe his gaze carefully. For once, it flickers as you stare at him, a shard of that steady, easy confidence he’s always had (was there a time he didn’t have it? Were you there when that was the case?) chipped and dropped into somewhere unknown. He doesn’t flinch away, though, not like you originally expected him to.

Maybe it isn’t just paranoia and caution behind those guarded walls, your mind whispers. Maybe there’s a bit of hope, too.

The thought is too much for you to handle, so for all your original bravado you’re the one who looks away first. “I do.”

Spiderman’s—Yunho’s—voice nearly trembles with how carefully he measures his next word. “How?”

You take a deep breath. How do you even start?

“I recently took a…trip, of sorts, with Dr. Strange.” Not really—it was more so just with America, but Spiderman doesn’t know America and you probably shouldn’t be telling anyone about her until Dr. Strange gives the okay. “Went universe hopping. Mostly unintentionally.” Ignoring Spiderman’s—Yunho, Jesus fucking Christ—sharp intake of breath, you continue. “One of them had a curious feature called Memory Lane. For a price, it would replay your most significant memories.” You swallow. “I got a…free trial, of sorts.”

The silence that follows your statement hangs heavily in the air. Never, not once in the time you’ve known him (at least not the second time you knew him, if the first time even existed) did you think Yunho (it’s still strange how not strangely the name flows through your mind) could have let such a tension weigh the conversation—he’s always been so charismatic, so ready to smile and laugh and joke away any heaviness that came. Hell, even when he had a leg snapped into so many pieces only a cast of glowing golden threads was holding it together, he wore a smile on the way back. But in the face of your words, Yunho’s head has fallen, the strong shoulders tensed to snap, his clasped hands trembling underneath his chin…

He looks up, straight at you. His eyes have fragmented and the shards you see in them frightens you—that’s just not a look that belongs on Yunho’s face. He looks ten, twenty, thirty years older than he is (your age, he’d told you with the perfect amount of surprise and warmth on his face the day you’d told him, the first time you’d had more than a few minutes to get to know each other more), with the tortured memories of someone who’s lived through millennia. And, you realize with a pang, there’s a reason for that. Because if you forgot him, if Mingi forgot him, how many others did?

And if you meant so much to him in that life you don’t remember, how much has he had to keep to himself in order to keep you from knowing?

“What did you see?” he asks quietly, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles have turned white. “If it’s okay to tell me, of course.”

Tears bubble in the corners of your eyes. That gentleness, that consideration, feels so warm. So very warm and familiar.

“I was with you. And Mingi. We were hugging.” You swallow. “You looked…beat up, but you still asked about a wound on my head.”

Yunho’s gaze flutters in the direction you knew it’d go, just to the side of your right eyebrow. Your fingers itch to rise, to touch the scarred flesh that’s still there, but you hold your twitching hands still.

“And then you said we were going to forget who you were.”

He goes still at that, still as a statue. It’s funny—there have been a few times where you mused, internally of course, that Yunho’s face—just Spiderman at the time—could have been sculpted by one of the gods, should they exist. A beaming statue of a hero, waiting for thousands to thank and worship him. But now, as he stares at you with no expression on his face, stone still and truly a human statue if there ever was one…

You promise yourself never to make the statue comparison again, because the warm Yunho, the alive Yunho, is the only one you’d ever want to know.

Swallowing hard, you open your mouth. And close it. Not because you don’t know what to say, because you do—it’s just recounting a memory that isn’t yours, basically a scene from a movie, how hard could it be—but because when you try to speak, you can’t. Your voice is gone.

Yunho’s eyes are shiny. A little too shiny. And there’s a little too much hope in them, now, a hope that makes you want to dig yourself into a hole and have someone cover up the dirt behind you. Because—it’s not right, that hope, it’s not right because you know what Yunho wants isn’t what happened.

He speaks first. “You…remember?”

“I—” You dig your fingernails into your palms so hard it hurts. “I don’t.”

His face falls. Crumbles. And this time, unlike all the other times you didn’t understand before when he’d see you and you’d do something—anything—and his face would do something strange for a second before his easy smile came back up—

He doesn’t try to pull it back together.

“I—saw it.” Your mouth moves on autopilot, trying to patch up a situation you’re not sure you can but anything, anything to bring something back to Yunho’s face. Even the terrible hope was better than this. “I saw it—and—I can’t say I remember it, exactly, because I don’t, but it—it felt like it explained things.”

Yunho looks up. Just barely. But he does.

“You—I’m comfortable with you.” Once it’s out in the open, you realize how stupid it sounds, but you barge forward because who the fuck cares anymore. “And I know—I know a lot of people probably say that, but—even at that first fight, it was like…it was like I knew you a little. Somehow. Even though to my knowledge I had never seen you before.” You wince at how that must sound but Yunho doesn’t, his eyes now fixated more firmly on yours. “A lot of things felt…familiar. Just stuff like your laugh. Smile. The way we could banter and talk and I—just—fuck!” Your own vehemence startles you and you slap your palms to your eyes and to your surprise, you find tears meeting your skin.

Damn it, you really hadn’t intended to cry when you came here.

“Y/N?”

You swallow the lump in your throat, scrub at your eyes with the heels of your palms. “I’m sorry,” you say, and wow your voice sounds so much more ragged than you thought it was. “I’m sorry. I—it all sounds stupid. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know that…sometimes, being around you felt like déjà vu. In some weird way.” The lump in your throat seems bent on returning so you swallow hard again. “The memory that I saw. It made some things, like that, make sense. But other things didn’t.”

“…What didn’t?”

It takes everything left in you to meet Yunho’s gaze. The adrenaline rush of yesterday’s fight has finally faded away fully and you think you might collapse soon, but you force your voice to remain steady even as a stray tear makes it cold way down your cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

. . . . .

For a long moment, Yunho doesn’t speak.

“I…was going to tell you,” he finally says. “I was. When you still had your job at the diner, I was going to go in and…tell you everything. Like I’d promised to. I was—” He laughs a little, broken and fragmented. “I was right outside. I could see you. Mingi was at the counter, too.”

There were many days like those. You’re not sure which one this was. “I didn’t see you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Yunho agrees. “But I saw you. And I saw your scar.”

This time, you can’t stop your hand from touching the warped skin on your forehead.

Yunho’s eyes track the movement. “I had a whole speech written out, you know.” That same broken, fragmented laugh from before. “It was on a piece of paper. I was going to read it to you two. But I saw your scar and…you were laughing. You looked so happy. I couldn’t ruin that.” He smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes at all. “When you knew I was Spiderman, all it did was cause you pain. And harm.”

You open your mouth to refute, but you can’t. Because you don’t remember anything. Not at all.

“Something happened to just about everyone I cared about who knew my secret.” Yunho’s voice drops. “So I thought it would be better if you didn’t know. It would be better if no one knew. Just the way it was after that day.”

“But—Yunho, I—” Words trip over your tongue and for a moment you still can’t speak, not for lack of thought but for too much. “We—you didn’t give us a choice. How did you know we wouldn’t—”

“You were at the battle.” Yunho’s words cut through your own like a knife and you almost flinch. “A battle I caused because I was an idiot. You don’t remember what happened, do you?”

Slowly, you shake your head.

“I went to Dr. Strange with a request. To wipe everyone’s memory of the fact that Yunho Jeong and Spiderman were one and the same. So many shit things had happened to me—and us—because of Mysterio’s stupid fucking video. College admissions, people taking potshots at us across the street…” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “He almost did. But I kept interrupting with exceptions. People I still wanted to remember me. You. Mingi. Aunt Mei. Happy. And that…that messed the spell up.”

You sit silent, quiet as Yunho tells you about the multiverse, about the other villains who knew him but whom he’d never faced—at least not in this world. He tells you about Aunt Mei, how Osborn had found her, how she’d pressed it into him that all of them needed help, not just to be sent back to their respective universes to die, and how he’d decided she was right.

She had been right, Yunho stresses. But she’d paid for it. With her life.

There, Yunho stops talking for a moment. Puts his hands over his face and breathes deeply once, twice. When he finally looks up, his eyes look redder.

“I’m sorry.” You wince as soon as you say the words, how flat they fall in the silence. But the thing is—you knew Mei. Somewhat. You remember her face, her smile, her burned cookies—you remember her, if not necessarily her nephew. She was a good woman, one of the kindest people you’d ever had the luck to meet. “I…remembered her. Somewhat. Probably not as much as I would have…before, but…”

“Yeah,” is all Yunho says. “Yeah.”

He continues. Two Spidermen, two Yunho Jeongs from separate universes. They looked nothing like him and apparently you summoned them with rings stolen from Dr. Strange himself (so maybe some things are best left not remembered, because if Dr. Strange doesn’t remember this you’re not sure you want him to). Back in their own worlds, they’d faced the villains he’d failed to corral here. They worked together and there was a fight at the Statue of Liberty and you and Mingi were tasked with keeping the unbroken spell safe from Norman Osborn and later, Dr. Strange, too.

You failed.

“Osborn freed the spell,” Yunho says, grief and fury etched in every line of his face. “Broke the casing with one of his stupid little toys. And so all these people—villains, friends, I don’t know—from other universes started coming into ours. Dr. Strange couldn’t contain them.”

You’re starting to feel a little faint. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Yunho breathes. “There was only one way to fix it. Everyone had to forget Yunho Jeong.” His eyes bore into yours.

Forget feeling faint. You think you’re about to be sick. “Everyone.”

“Everyone,” he repeats. A little dark laugh falls from his lips. “No exceptions this time.”

For a long moment, you sit in silence. All of this information—your brain was already exhausted from universe hopping and dealing with a crazy, grief-driven witch, and you got maybe three hours of sleep last night before you found your way here—it’s so much. Almost too much. Maybe you should’ve waited to confront Yunho, should’ve given it a couple of days of thinking before coming here all tongue-tied and stupid—

“But—Yunho. You promised to tell us. You promised to tell me and Mingi.” You can feel your face scrunching up like you’re about to cry again and you don’t need that, don’t need that right now at fucking all. “You could’ve told us—you didn’t have to go through this alone—”

“Yes, I did,” Yunho snaps. “It was my fault. All of this was my fault—”

“No, it fucking wasn’t!” you retort. “It was Mysterio’s fault—hell, it was mine and Mingi’s for not protecting the stupid spell enough—”

“No, it was mine, for trying to change something that couldn’t have been changed!” he yells. “I got the villains into our universe because I couldn’t think of anything beyond our fucking college admissions! I did a fuck up job of keeping the villains in line! I got Mei killed, I got you and Mingi injured, I caused so much trouble for Dr. Strange because I wasn’t thinking—”

“You were a kid!” you yell back. “We all were! Barely fucking eighteen! Not even college students, not even legal adults! And—Yunho! I may not remember anything, but I do fucking know that we never would’ve been coerced or something into helping you. You wouldn’t have done that! If we were helping you in that fight, it was because we agreed to, because we wanted to!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Yunho snaps. “It doesn’t matter that you wanted to! Because in the end, this was a fight that I started and that I should have ended myself! Instead, I got a whole bunch of other people involved and people were injured for it, people—people died for it, Y/N.” His face crumples, and he turns away.

All the fight leaves your body. You reach towards him, slowly take his hands in yours. To your surprise, he doesn’t tug them away.

“I wasn’t going to get you and Mingi killed off because I wanted you back,” Yunho whispers. “My fights were going to be on my terms and only mine. I know you fight now, as Dr. Strange’s apprentice—don’t bring that up with me. Those fights are your choices and on your terms.” Teary eyes look into yours and you can barely fight the urge to brush the wetness away. “It kills me to watch it happen, but that’s your choice. And I can’t interfere with that.” He takes a deep breath. “But I can interfere with the stuff that shouldn’t happen because it’s my fault.”

The anger starts to rise up in you once more. “You didn’t give either of us a choice in deciding that—”

“Right before Aunt Mei died, she told me something.” Yunho’s hands tremble in yours. “She said, ‘With great power, there must also come great responsibility.’”

You swallow hard.

“I don’t think I ever understood until then,” he says quietly. “Sure, I’d always known I had power, and I tried to use it well by being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman, you know. Protecting the little guy while others fight the big battles. But the responsibility…my lack of that is what started this whole thing in the first place.” Yunho swallows. “When I saw you and Mingi in the diner, and I made that choice. That was my responsibility. I wasn’t going to purposefully involve anyone else in my fights, my issues. Not now. Not anymore.”

One of his hands releases itself from yours. It rises toward the puckered scar, brushes it with a gentle touch. His fingertips tremble against your skin. “Do you know how you got this?” he asks, whisper soft.

Slowly, you shake your head.

“One of Osborn’s…gadgets, sliced you.” Yunho takes a deep, shaky breath, and you grip his hand harder. “And because of that, you—you fell. Right off the statue.”

You couldn’t speak right now, not even if you tried.

“You fell.” The words seem to rip themselves from Yunho’s throat and he looks away, his free hand covering his face for one, two awful moments before he turns back to you. “You fell, and I tried to catch you but Osborn knocked me out of the way midair, and it—it was only a miracle that one of the other Spidermen caught you. A miracle,” he repeats, almost as though he still doesn’t believe it.

This time you do reach up to brush the tears from his eyes. The movement feels so remarkably natural that you have to wonder how many times you made the same motion in a time before.

“I saw you with the scar. And suddenly I was there, watching you fall with no way to stop it.” Yunho squeezes his eyes shut. “I couldn’t have that happen again. Not to you. Not to anyone.”

His eyes open, and between the tears, all you can see is the certainty of his choice weighing dark in his pupils.

“Not because of me.”

. . . . .

Silence falls in Yunho’s studio apartment. The sun has risen, slats of pale light filtering through his windows, illuminating his face. In the glow of morning, Yunho’s young face only looks older.

And suddenly you feel guilty. So very guilty. You came to his apartment unannounced with a name in one hand, news you were certain he wouldn’t like in the other, and caused him pain. That was it. You forced him to relive all these memories, made him explain things he perhaps wasn’t ready to speak of, and yelled at him for a choice you’re not sure you would’ve made differently had you been in the same situation.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, throat suddenly choked. You drop his hands and step back, desperately trying to swallow your tears. “I—I shouldn’t have come.” Yunho’s eyebrows furrow, but you refuse to look at him. “It wasn’t my place to demand answers of you and I shouldn’t have yelled—”

“Y/N.”

This time it’s his hands that take yours, large and warm and gentle. You look down at your joined fingers, then up at his face. If you had loved each other as much as your memory would have you believe, this must have been a common occurrence.

No wonder it feels so safe.

“I don’t blame you,” he says, and it’s the steadiness of his gaze that convinces you he speaks true. “You had questions, and no one else you knew had answers.”

“Even so.” You blink a tear away. “Even so, Yunho.”

“No.” He grips your hands more tightly. “Do you know how I felt after I saw you the first time after? When you showed up with Dr. Strange in the middle of fighting the drakon?” You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off. “I was terrified, obviously, but watching you…” Yunho looks down at your joined hands and you think he’s going to start crying again, but when he looks back up, there’s a smile on his face despite the faint tears in his eyes. “It was good to see you, Y/N. Just so…good.”

You look down at your hands. Back up at Yunho’s face.

Eyes so soft with tears, so warm they could melt.

“I was happy to see you,” he says quietly, and for all his words are unbelievable you have to believe them because of the way he says them. “So happy. I mean—I’d made the decision. And I’d come to terms with that I probably would never see you again, or at least never be close with you again. But seeing you then, healthy and happy and just—you—”

A choked noise escapes your throat. Something like a laugh. Something like a sob.

“I thought I’d gotten over it, you know.” Yunho smiles and it’s beautiful and broken and brittle, echoes of joy bittersweet on his lips. “Thought that I’d be able to move on. And I did, in a way, but before I thought that I would forget it all. I thought that I could. But that moment just showed me that I’d really never be able to, and that I would be okay with it. Because seeing you like that—it was good, Y/N.” The smile grows. “Even now, seeing you in front of me like this…”

Oh. Oh, damn.

You’d thought that you were all cried out, but your eyes betray you once more. A headache is starting to build up in the back of your head but you force yourself to focus, to decipher Yunho’s words for what they are. “So—” You swallow. Try to speak. “Do—do you—”

“I still love you,” he says quietly. “Every time I see you, it feels like I’m a little more whole.”

Your face burns. “I—”

“You don’t have to say anything right now.” Yunho smiles, and even on his teary face he looks so handsome, so steady, and if it’s true that you were in love with him before it’s not difficult to understand why. “I know it’s a lot, and that you’ve only just begun to figure some things out. I’m not looking for an answer when I tell you this.” He takes a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know.”

For a moment, the two of you sit in silence. You look at your interlaced fingers, think about how natural it feels to have his hands in yours, to have come to him in this hour of answers and need. Briefly you think of Mingi, and it doesn’t surprise you to think that they could’ve been good friends too.

“I’m not…closed off. To anything.” You swallow hard, looking back up at Yunho. “Yet, at least. I can’t say I—that I love you, not now, but I do believe I loved you once, and I could be there again. Someday.”

Yunho’s eyes fill with tears again, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I just.” Tears of your own start to squeeze down your cheeks, past your lips and chin. “I don’t know if I will ever remember everything,” you finally warn, voice wobbly. “I think it’s more likely that I won’t. But if you’re willing, even then…”

“It’s okay.” Yunho’s smile is warm, and it’s what finally sends the rest of the tears spilling out of your eyes. “This is more than I ever could have hoped for in my life.”

“I want to remember,” you choke. “I want to remember, I want to so badly—”

“I do too,” he says, pulling you into his chest. His warm heartbeat thumps quietly against yours and you take comfort in its steady pace, one, two, one, two. “But even if you don’t, I want you to know that’s okay. And it always will be.”

“…How do you know?”

Yunho’s arms, warm around your body. His hold so gentle yet so firm, so safe and steady as he murmurs reassurances in your ear.

“Because,” he says, pulling away. You look up at him with your sticky, aching eyes, feel all of your trust in him only grow as he smiles.

“Because we can always make more memories of our own.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

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odigaon · 9 months

Text

gym pics

summary: your boyfriend decides to post a not so innocent picture on bubble and you can’t resist him.

pairing(s): oh seungmin x afab! reader

warnings: unprotected sex (i think this is really the only one)

word count: 2.8k

unedited!

Waking up to a noisy notification on your phone was not how you really wanted to start your day. The brief nap you had managed to slip in after getting your daily to do list done ended up lasting far longer than you meant it to and left you feeling groggy rather than refreshed. Blinking your eyes open slowly, you blindly slide your hand across your bed to reach your phone.

Coming to the realization that it was a bubble message makes you smile to yourself, “Probably just one of the guys updating villains on what they’ve done today,”

Nothing could’ve prepared you for the heart attack waiting for you after your phone unlocks and opens to the bubble app.

Your boyfriend Seungmin, shirtless, covered in sweat, and a magic 8 ball sticker covering his face. Holy hell. This was NOT what you expected to wake up to. Frantically closing and reopening the app, you’re met with the same exact sight. Your boyfriend, looking absolutely scrumptious. You admittedly stare at that picture longer than you needed to. I mean, who wouldn’t? Every single villain is probably having the same thoughts about Seungmin that you are right now which undoubtedly makes you a little jealous, however, you can actually do something about it.

Quickly hopping out of bed and striding over to your dresser, you pull out a simple t-shirt that once was Seungmin’s and a pair of exercise shorts. You debate on whether to change your steadily dampening underwear, but ultimately decide to leave it on as a little surprise for your boyfriend. You shoot a quick text to Seungmin to let him know that you had woken up from your nap and were on the way to the company to join him at the gym. After pulling on your clothes and throwing your hair up in a small ponytail you receive a text from your boyfriend.

“oh baby you don’t have to come here if you just woke up! it’s getting late so I’ll probably be leaving here soon anyways.”

A small pout frames your face at that, but you understand that he’s been hard at work all day so you don’t want to keep him there any longer than he wants to be.

“oh okay. do you wanna come over after you’re done? i miss you :(.”

“of course i wanna come see my baby! i’ll be there soon, my love :).”

At that you sigh happily, missing him was sometimes hard on you. Lately with the group’s comeback coming up you haven’t gotten to see Seungmin nearly enough to satisfy your craving for him. Laying back down on your bed, you decide to turn on the TV and wait for Seungmin to arrive at your apartment.

After about an hour, you hear your front door close and Seungmin call out for you, “Jagiya? Are you awake?” Lifting your head up off the pillow and turning down the volume on the TV, you call back to him, “In my room, babe!” You hear his footsteps start down the hall and continuously grow louder until they stop just outside your door.

“Knock knock?” he says whilst pushing your door open.

He softly walks into your bedroom and closes the door behind him, leaving him standing in front of you in a pair of black sweats, a white tank top, and a black jacket. God you could really jump his bones right at this moment.

“You know it doesn’t really qualify as knocking if you don’t actually knock?”

A small giggle leaves him at that. After shucking off his jacket and laying it on your desk chair, he starts to walk over to you to give you a quick kiss before going to shower.

“You comfy in there?”

You sure as hell are. You’ve wrapped yourself in a cocoon of blankets, but little does he know, you’ve given yourself just enough wiggle room to where you can thrust your arms out and wrap Seungmin up before he can run off.

He leans over you and places his left hand next to the right side of your body and his right to the left side of your head.

“Have you had a good day today?” he asks in a soft voice.

“Yeah. I just ran some errands and cleaned up around the house. Dee has been out all day with Junhan.”

“Oh yeah? Well we know what they’ve been up to then, huh?”

You laugh a little at that. Yeah, you know what they’ve gotten up to. The periodic texts from your best friend let you know that they had went out and run some errands of their own, and then went back to the dorm and fucked for hours on end.

Seungmin smiles at you and begins to lean down towards your face to give your long awaited kiss and you decide to make your move.

“OOMF!”

You shoot your arms out of the blanket and trap them around Seungmin’s neck; effectively startling him and allowing you to trap him against your chest for a brief moment. Using all the leverage your body can muster, you roll over with Seungmin so you can trap him beneath you.

“What the h-”

“What the fuck was that picture you sent on bubble today Oh Seungmin? Huh? Do you want me to die? Do you want me to kill YOU?”

His whole chest starts to shudder with laughter.

“Ah I forgot you had my bubble, baby. Did you like it?”

“Did I like it? Are you serious right now?”

You sit up so you’re straddling his abs. Seungmin starts to let his hands travel up your legs and up to your waist where his hands seem to have a mind of their own and begin to rub your hips. It doesn’t even seem like he’s paying attention to you anymore. His eyes have begun to rake up and down your form sitting atop him.

“Fuck is that my shirt baby? And my favorite shorts?”

His hands reach around to grab a handful of your ass. Now this was not a part of your plan. You were supposed to fluster Seungmin and be in control of the situation; not the other way around. The smallest moan escapes your lips and you pray Seungmin doesn’t hear, but unfortunately the way his eyes find yours tells you that he in fact did. His hands travel back to your hips and gently push at them until you’re forced shimmy backwards: directly over his hardening cock that you can feel perfectly through his sweats and your thin exercise shorts. Your tongue darts out to lick your suddenly dry lips before Seungmin sits up and captures your lips with his. A surprised moan leaves you but is muffled by Seungmin’s mouth against yours.

“Mi-Min ah fuck, please,” you whisper after you manage to part from Seungmin for a brief second. You’re not even quite sure what you’re begging him for, but you know what you want the end result to be: his cock inside you.

You feel his hands start to slowly grind your hips back and forth over top his hips. Grunts begin to leave his mouth as he quickens your pace. Your hands begin to fumble around searching for the hem of his tank top. When you finally find it, you begin to frantically tug at it to alert Seungmin of your desire to rid him of it. After finally taking the hint, he pulls away from you in order to pull the piece of clothing over his head and toss it away from your figures. He then goes for the hem of your shirt and tugs it off of you along with your sports bra before pulling you back into him. His lips slowly and sensually move against yours before his tongue slips out to attempt to part your lips. Allowing him entrance, your tongues begin to dance around each other.

Before long, he’s flipping the two of you over and trailing kisses down your body. Quiet moans are leaving you at your boyfriend’s sensual touches. He reaches the waistline of your shorts and you lock eyes with him before he smirks and begins to pull them and your underwear off you.

Spreading your legs so he can get a good look at your pussy, he starts trailing his lips and fingers up and down your inner thighs to tease you.

“Min. Please. I’m begging you not to tease me,” you muster.

“What? My baby doesn’t like it when I tease her?” he chuckles.

“No please Min. I need you.”

At that, he pushes his arms underneath your thighs and throws your legs over his shoulders, grabs your ass, and buries his face in your pussy. God that tongue of his. It’s working magic over your clit and across your folds. His lips then wrap around your clit and begin to suckle lightly while his right hand leaves your ass and begins to make its way to your entrance. His middle finger circles your entrance before slowly pushing in and out to stretch you out and prepare you for a second finger. Even with one finger you’re already keening and beginning to feel the first effects of your orgasm creeping up on you. After pushing a second finger in, you realize that the picture Seungmin posted on bubble must’ve really affected you a lot more than you think. Your orgasm is already fast-approaching and Seungmin isn’t showing any signs of edging you like he normally does.

“Mi-Min ah. I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah? You gonna cum for me baby?”

“Are you gonna let me?”

“I’m feeling nice tonight. Cum whenever you want baby.” he says just before reattaching his mouth to your clit.

That’s all you need to hear before the floodgates are opening and you’re releasing all over Seungmin’s face. He stays between your legs while you ride out your orgasm and only stops once you start to twitch out of oversensitivity.

“Feeling good baby?”

“Yeah,” you moan out, “I want more, Min.”

“More? What more could you possibly want, huh?” he teases.

“Please Min, don't make me beg.”

“I let you cum whenever you wanted. The least you could do is beg for it a little.”

You sigh out. Of course he’s going to make you beg for it. Nothing is easy with Seungmin when it comes to sex.

“Please Min I want it so bad. Wan’ your cock inside me. Wanna cum on your cock and be good for you, please. Wanna make you feel good, Minnie.”

He groans a little at your begging and pushes himself up to strip off his remaining clothes. Afterwards, he kneels in front of you in all his naked glory, with one hand wrapped around his cock, slowly pumping himself to get ready to finally push inside you.

When he finally does, it feels like heaven. The groan Seungmin lets out is magnificent and your pussy is wetly clamping down on his cock and making it harder for him to push further inside.

“Ah ah baby. Relax for me, beautiful. Can’t fuck you how you want if you don’t let me in.”

You whine at that and try your best to relax yourself. Eventually, the tenseness leaves your body and Seungmin promptly begins to slowly fuck into you.

“There we go, baby. I knew you could do it for me.”

You start letting out quiet moans as his cock drags against that especially sensitive spot inside you that only he can seem to find. You feel like you’re already on cloud nine: one orgasm down and another seems to be fast approaching. You let your hands wander up his arms and across the expanse of his back where he feels your nails bite into skin, causing to arch his back and drive a little deeper into you. You bite your lip to muffle yourself, but Seungmin is having absolutely none of that. He just starts fucking into you harder.

“You thought you were gonna come to the gym in those clothes baby? What? Did that picture turn you on so much you started thinking with your pretty pussy instead of this pretty little head of yours? You forget that you’re mine baby. I don’t think I like the intentions you had with wearing that and planning on coming to the gym. You know how many people could’ve seen this perfect ass of yours? How many guys would’ve been drooling over you?”

You can’t even think at this point. The words he says make sense, but seem to go in one ear and out the other. Your nails start leaving bright red lines down his back in attempts to ground yourself in the midst of him fucking you like a slut. Your orgasm that once was only fast approaching, is now leaving you teetering at the edge of a precipice. But you know better than to cum without permission.

“Mi-Min. Minnie. Seu-Seungmin. Can I? Please can I cum?”

“Cum for me baby. Wanna feel you cum around my cock.”

You let go and swear that you black out just a little bit from the intensity of the orgasm. At this point, only high pitched whines are leaving your mouth coupled with the need to feel Seungmin cum inside you.

“Please! Seu-Seungie. Min-Minnie please I need to feel you. Please, please, please…” you babble out.

He lets out a hoarse chuckle at that, “Oh yeah? Does my baby want me to fill her up with my cum? God you’re such a good girl. I love you so much baby. Don’t worry, I'll give it to you.”

After that, his thrusts speed up with the intent to fill you. Your eyes nearly roll back in your head with the force behind his thrusts. Seungmin’s lips find yours as his rhythm becomes sloppy, and with one last thrust Seungmin is sitting up on his haunches while he grinds himself into you in an effort to cum as deep inside you as possible. His grunts and groans are music to your ears and evidently your pussy as well because before you know it you’re coming again. His hands grasping your hips are leaving harsh fingerprint marks that will surely bruise tomorrow, but you could care less.

His hands release their grip on your hips and go back to rubbing your sides and legs.

“You doing okay baby? I wasn’t too rough was I?”

You can barely get the words out but you manage a quiet “Mmhm. Feel good,” and Seungmin smiles at you.

“I’m gonna pull out now okay, baby? I’m gonna grab a warm towel to clean you up okay?”

He slowly pulls out of you and you wince slightly, but Seungmin remedies your pain with a quick kiss on the lips before springing out of bed to go grab the necessary materials to clean you up. After striding out of your room, completely naked and looking delicious enough to have you wanting another round, he returns with a small towel and begins to gingerly wipe the cum and sweat off you while humming softly.

Tossing the cloth off to the side, Seungmin quickly lays down and pulls the blanket over the top of both of you and then opens up his arms as an invitation for you to snuggle into him, which you gladly accept. Burying your face into his chest, you can feel his heartbeat and his breaths becoming slower and longer. You know in your heart that this is where you belong. Right here, in your bed, in the arms of the man you love more than anything in the entire world.

“I love you, Seungmin.” you mumble.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

Just then you hear the front door open and shut. You and Seungmin both look at each other in confusion, before you realize that it’s probably just your best friend/roommate and maybe Junhan.

Your suspicions are confirmed when you hear two sets of footsteps walking down the hallway just before they reach your door.

“Can I come in?” you hear Dee ask through the door.

“Yeah its safe. Be warned I am naked, but I’m under the covers.”

“I don’t know if I want to come in then.”

“JUST GET IN HERE, JESUS.”

Your door creaks open before Dee exclaims, “Why the fuck does it smell like sex in here- Oh god nevermind!” before she’s slamming your door shut.

“YOU COULD’VE AT LEAST TOLD ME THAT THE BOTH OF YOU WERE IN THERE!”

You and Seungmin both erupt in laughter before you turn and snuggle back into him. Yep. This is exactly where you’re meant to be.

a/n: thank you all for all the love on my last post! i hope you all enjoyed this one!

#xdh smut #xdinary heroes hard hours #xdinary heroes hard thoughts #xdinary heroes smut #xdh hard hours #xdh hard thoughts #xdh x reader

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pedrito-friskito · 2 years

Note

for the numbered smut prompt thing;

39 and 40! ("It's not my fault you keep turning me on" & "you look so good with my hands wrapped around your neck")

w either frank or matt maybe 👀 -🐹

okay nonnie….you…I….I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THIS ONE.

you said frank OR matt and my feral fucking brain said NOPE BOTH and I love the prompts but “you look so good” doesn’t fit with our darling matt murdock exactly sooooooo here we go

absolute FILTH under the cut (threesome, dp, fingering, the whole big show — or most of it at least, i regret NOTHING)

((also - tagging all my matt AND frank babies under the cut, but heed the above and DNI if it’s not your thing - FAIR WARNING))

🔥friday night fever!🔥

How is it possible for something to feel like far too much and not nearly enough, all at once?

You knew what you were getting into, agreeing to this. You’d had days to mull it over, both of them telling you more than once that there was absolutely no pressure, that the decision was completely up to you. The notion was far too appealing to pass up, and you’d be lying if you said the thought hadn’t crossed your mind once before, a lavish daydream to indulge in when the man himself wasn’t around to satisfy you.

It had shocked you, in truth, when the idea was first proposed. Matt has always had a bit of a possessive streak in him, so hearing that he was on board with it, that he was willing to share you, just for the night, it sent your pulse racing. Afterwards, after Frank had left and it was just the two of you alone in the apartment, he’d sidled closer to you on the couch, lips close to your ear and hand curling around your thigh.

“Think it over, sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing the soft spot beneath your ear, making your thighs clench together, desperate to relieve the pressure you could already feel building. “I can tell what’s it’s doing to you, how excited you are. It’s okay. I don’t mind sharing, letting him pleasure you, too. Just this once.” He smirked against your skin. “This is about you, and Castle…knows what he’s doing. I trust him.” A gentle nip at your pulse. “I trust you.”

And so you had, you thought it over. You thought long and hard about it, what it meant, the boundaries you wanted set, every single thing you would and wouldn’t agree to. Matt knew your limits, had probably discussed them with Frank before they even mentioned this to you, but still, you wanted to be clear. You didn’t want any lines crossed.

Like Matt said, just this once.

Your only worry, is that once wouldn’t be enough. For any of you.

Frank Castle is the polar opposite of Matthew Murdock, in every sense of the word. Brash where Matt is methodical, broody where Matt is amiable, violent where Matt is…less violent. You knew the stories, the details of what Daredevil and the Punisher had gone through, the blood that had been spilled and the revenge that had been sought. You knew tidbits of Frank Castle’s past, enough to make your heart ache for the man, what he’d been through, what he’d seen. Things no person should be made to endure. And he’s friendly, surprisingly so, easy to talk to and easier to joke with, poking fun at Matt as the two of you ate dinner at that Italian place down on 42rd Street, bottles of wine emptying faster than usual, conversation going well into the night, until the waiter had to gently remind you that the kitchen was closing and the dining room would soon follow.

“Quite the lady you have here, Red,” Frank had said, grinning wide at you as you walked out of the restaurant, you tucked under Matt’s arm, the three of you hiding from the rain under the restaurant’s awning. “You’re a lucky man.”

“The luckiest,” Matt had agreed, pressing a kiss to your temple. “It was good to see you, Castle.”

“You too, Red,” Frank replied, reaching for your hand, lifting it to his mouth and kissing your knuckles. He jutted his chin towards Matt. “Take care of this one, will ya, doll? He’s a special guy.”

You watched him walk away, watched the back of Frank disappear into the rainy New York night, and Matt had just chuckled. “He’s good looking, isn’t he?”

“What?” you’d sputtered, the wine and embarrassment making your face heat, turning on your heel and starting in the direction of Matt’s apartment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your heartbeat tells me all I need to know, sweetheart,” he said, catching up to you easily, threading his arm through yours. “It’s okay, honest. Foggy always said I had a knack for attracting pretty girls, maybe it works both ways.”

He hadn’t said anything more, though you’d rethought the conversation for weeks. Weeks of mulling over your interaction with Frank, the gentleness so clearly hidden behind a menacing exterior, the easy way in which he and Matt spoke, the obvious bond between them.

And then, a proposition.

The proposition.

You’re still worried, that once won’t be enough. You said as much, in the same breath that you’d agreed to their idea. Frank’s smile had widened, and Matt had adjusted himself in his seat, throat bobbing as he said, “Well, there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

There had been a brief conversation about scheduling another night, blocking off a Friday night where you could have dinner again, drink your fill and get comfortable, but something had stopped you. Looking at the two of them, opposites but not, feeling the magnetic pull that dragged you towards both of them, your heart forever belonging to Matt but your body begging, if only this once, to belong to Frank. Your hands gripped the couch cushion furiously, nails biting into the fabric as you stared between them, each sat in a chair, Frank sprawled wide with his arms out, Matt hunched forward, hands folded in front of him.

“What about tonight?”

Frank had looked at Matt, Matt’s brow had raised ever so slowly, and that was that.

You’re not quite sure who decided on the shower, or when the button was pressed that brought them both to life, but it’s overwhelming in the best kind of way. The water is hot, pounding down onto your bodies, steam swirling through the bathroom.

One minute you were standing in the living room, toying with your hands, sure of your devious but unsure where to start, and the next you were in the bathroom, the tiles cold beneath your feet. Matt stood behind you, mouth pressed against your neck, dragging kisses along your skin while Frank stood in front of you, just watching, the muscle in his jaw ticking as Matt slowly undid the zipper on your dress.

Heat rose in your face as Matt pulled at the collar of your dress, nudging it down your front, unhooking your bra at the same time, pushing all the fabric away, towards your hips. Frank was stoic, silent, giving nothing away as he watched. You could feel Matt’s body behind you, the tell-tale hardness prodding at your backside. His hands roved your body as they always did, like no one was watching. There was something in Frank’s gaze, something curious, and you realized he was watching Matt’s hands, watching where he touched and how he did so, cataloguing your body and tracing your outline.

You’d hissed when Matt’s hand cupped your breast, thumb swiping over your nipple and squeezing lightly. At the same time, his hips rolled into your ass, cock straining against his zipper. “Matt.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he crooned in your ear, “it’s not my fault you keep turning me on.” He nipped at your earlobe. “You always do.”

It was more of a blur as both men undressed, the bathroom floor soon more fabric than tile, and while Matt walked you backwards into the shower, the water turned hot and soaking you instantly, Frank moved slower. He prowled towards you, eyes raking over your body. He stepped under the spray with you and Matt, water dripping down his broad chest, running in rivulets down his torso and legs. You were rapt, not sure where to look, your heart skipping at Matt’s attention behind you, his hands still roaming your body, and Frank’s lust-blown stare, dark eyes pinning you in place like a predator stalking it’s prey. You let your eyes drop, the heat in your face almost unbearable.

And here you are.

He closes the distance between you, one hand reaching for yours, threading your fingers together, while the other notches under your chin, lifting your gaze to his face. “Can I kiss ya, princess?” he drawls, his eyes scanning your face, lingering on your lips. Your mouth parts softly, and Frank’s eyes move over your shoulder. “That okay with you, Red?”

“Only if she says yes,” Matt says, punctuating his answer with a sharp spank to your ass, face buried in your neck. “This is about her.”

“We’re on the same page, then,” Frank agrees, and his eyes slide back to you. “Whatta ya say, pretty girl?”

You nod once, your eyes growing heavy-lidded as Matt’s hand slides between your legs from behind, fingers glancing along your inner thighs, pushing your legs a little wider to give him better access to your pussy. Frank leans forward, hand still under your chin, and you gasp into his mouth as he kisses you, Matt’s mouth sucking at your shoulders, fingers sliding into you. The sound of the shower seems thunderous, your ears nearly ringing as Frank kisses you.

It’s jarring, how different it is to kissing Matt. Harsher, in a way, which fits completely, more teeth and tongue, the fingers knocked beneath your chin turning very quickly into his hand around your throat, middle finger and thumb either side of your windpipe. Matt’s fingers brush against that devastating spot inside you, and coupled with Frank squeezing your neck lightly, your legs are shaking. You can feel yourself rushing towards that cliff, nearly dangling off of it, but you don’t want to, not just yet. This can’t be over this fast.

Frank pulls back, eyes on your face again, and the grin on his lips is feral, licking the taste of your mouth off his own. His hand doesn’t move from your throat, fingers twitching against your pulse. “Oh, you like this, don’t you?” he asks, squeezing again until you gasp, nodding sharply in his grasp. “God damn, you look so good with my hand wrapped around your neck.”

You reach behind you, turning your head to the side as Frank leans in again. His mouth drags along your jaw, and you push at Matt’s arm. He leans in to kiss your cheek as Frank’s attention moves to your neck, your collar. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I need your cock, Matt,” you tell him, your voice nearly a whine. Frank’s fingers flex on your throat. “Please.”

“Okay, baby,” he replies, hands running down your sides, grabbing a handful of your ass as he takes his hard cock in hand, positioning himself between your legs from behind. Frank turns your head, putting your eyes on his face again, and you gasp as you feel the tip of Matt’s cock press against your entrance.

Frank’s just watching you, his gaze boring into yours, and you barely have time to react as he reaches for your other hand, pulling it down towards his cock. You let your eyes dip as your fingers wrap around him, sucking in a breath at the sight of his length. He’s got girth, not as long as Matt, but fuck, if that’s not the thickest cock you’ve ever seen. Refusing to shy away from a challenge, you pump him, the movement dragging your bodies closer together as Matt thrusts in all the way, sheathing himself inside you with a low groan.

“How’s she feel, Red?” Frank asks, his eyes still glued to your face. Your mouth drops open as Matt starts to move, hips slapping wetly against your ass, hands gripping your hips like his life depends on it.

“So good, Castle,” Matt replies, his voice high and breathless. You can feel his head pressed against your spine, his hold on your waist tightening. “You have no fucking idea. So wet.” He thrusts hard, the movement jarring you forward, but Frank holds you in place. “God, you’re squeezing me so tight, baby.”

Every breath you take sounds like a moan, and Frank’s feral grin returns, a groan stuttering past his lips as you squeeze him. “Gotta say, it’s quite the view, watching you make her fall apart like this. You know what you’re doing, Red.” You bring your hand up, twisting your wrist and curving your palm over the tip of him. “Fuck, so does she.”

Matt’s head lifts from your back, and he pulls you back onto his cock, your knees nearly buckling as the tip of his cock finds that immaculate spot inside you, the pleasure nearly making your eyes roll back.

“Oh, she liked that, Red,” Frank says. “Do it again.”

Matt does, another wet slap echoing through the bathroom, and the sound that falls out of you is somewhere between a moan and a squeal, your legs going tense as white-hot pleasure shoots down your limbs. Frank crowds closer to you, still gripping your throat, and you’re stuck watching as he brings his free hand to his mouth, pushing two fingers past his lips.

“Eyes on me, princess,” he tells you, hand disappearing from view. “Keep stroking my cock like a good girl, yeah?” You do as he says, curving your palm over his sensitive tip again, lips quirking in a grin when he groans. “Yeah, you’re a good girl.” He moves impossibly closer, just enough room between your bodies for your hand around his cock, and his, moving between your legs, right where you’re split around Matt’s cock. He drags his fingers along your hot skin, and he must touch Matt too, because you hear his harsh gasp behind you, the next thrust he gives you impossibly harder.

“Make her cum, Castle,” Matt rasps out, leaning his forehead on your shoulder, his pace unrelenting. “Rub her clit until she screams.”

Frank grins. “Don’t have to tell me twice, Red.”

You let out a high-pitched gasp as Frank’s thick fingers find your clit, rubbing a harsh circle that has your toes curling against the tile. You try to keep up your strokes, your grip tight on Frank’s cock, but it’s almost impossible to concentrate, your mind hurtling elsewhere as your body tries to comprehend the sensations, the thick press of Matt into your pussy, the targeted pleasure of Frank’s fingers on your clit.

“Hey, I said, eyes on me,” Frank commands, and you hadn’t realized you let them flutter shut, your throat hiccuping in his grip as the pleasure climbs. You reach your free hand back, curling around Matt’s hip, squeezing until your nails dig in. You have to release Frank’s cock, but he doesn’t seem to mind, his own touch growing more and more insistent, the slide of his thick fingers curling down until he’s inside you too, knuckles brushing Matt’s cock while his thumb circles your clit. “C’mon, pretty girl, you gonna cum?” he asks, squeezing your windpipe just enough.

That’s what makes you topple over the edge, the sheer intensity of the feeling, the instant weightlessness that pours over you like a tidal wave. You’ve never felt anything like this before, and you try to keep your eyes on Frank’s, you really do, but it’s no use. The pleasure wracks your body, leaving you twitching and keening in their arms. Matt’s not far behind you, cumming with a shout that’s barely muffled against your shoulder. Frank seems unfazed, keeping his fingers right where they are, and as you return to your body, you don’t miss the way his eyes glance at Matt, still lust-blown and curious.

Matt pulls out first, leaning back against the shower wall, and Frank follows a moment later, but pushes his fingers deeper first, dragging the pads along that same spot Matt had hammered into. When he pulls them from you, his skin is coated with your cum and Matt’s, the milky fluid running between his knuckles.

You grab his wrist, opening your mouth as you push his fingers past your teeth, sucking them clean, flickering your tongue over his skin. Frank just grins. “Fuck. Tell me what you want, pretty girl. You gonna take us both next?” He releases your throat, reaching around and giving your ass a quick slap. “Gonna let me in this tight ass while Red fucks your pussy again? Huh? What do you want?”

You’re heaving breaths as he pulls his fingers from your mouth, and Matt is pressed against your back a moment later, arms twining around your waist, kissing your neck again. “Tell us what you want, sweetheart,” he whispers.

You blink hard, sinking into Matt’s touch, reaching for Frank’s wrist and moving his hand back between your legs.

“More.”

—————

I have a taglist! if you’d like to be tagged in future works, please fill out this form!💕

I will reblog w/ taglists - there’s too many of you!

#friday night fever #my fics #frank castle x reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock smut #frank castle smut #the punisher #daredevil #frank castle x matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x reader x frank castle #matt murdock x you #frank castle x you #IDK HOW ELSE TO TAG THIS CUZ I’M GOING TO HELL #😇

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yandere-daydreams · 1 year

Text

Title: Upkeep.

Commissioned by the very lovely, very indulgent @furudolove.

Pairing: Yandere!OC x F!Reader.

Word Count: 3.6k.

TW: Non/Con, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Implied Drug Use, Implied Stalking, Unhealthy Relationships, and Slight Infantilization.

“So, these were your big plans?”

You nestled farther into the couch, nodding as to the affirmative. Luna let out a bark of a laugh, watching from the closest loveseat as you freed a single arm from your self-inflicted tangle of blankets and adjusted the volume of the god-awful, absolutely perfect reality show you were watching – something about a dozen or so insanely attractive b-rated influencers fraternizing on an island; fucking, fighting, and doing very little else. In other words, peak television.

“I’ve heard that some people go shopping on their days off, or hiking— can you believe that? There are actually people out there who’d voluntarily leave their apartments?”

You shrug, gesturing towards the T.V. “And there are other people in here that have half a dozen seasons of Love Peninsula to catch up on.”

“I know I said I was up for anything, but…” She trailed off, eyeing the screen (and, by association, the montage of shirtless men and bikini-clad women flashing across it) warily. “Are you absolutely sure there’s nothing you’d rather be doing? Nothing you’d rather do with me?”

“I mean, I might make popcorn in a couple hours. When Cindy realizes Brent still isn't over Sierra.”

“C’mon, it’s obvious she’s delusional. You’d be lucky if she notices before the finale.”

“You have been watching, you liar. Do you think Monica and Kyle are actually going to make it past the next elimination, or—"

“(Y/n).”

“Right. Their first kiss was pretty cute, so they’ll probably make it another—” She narrowed her eyes, and you cut yourself off. Sitting up, you gave her your most pleading smile. Between your job and your classes, the former full of last-minute call-ins and never-available coworkers while the latter seemed to consist entirely of textbooks you didn’t have the energy or the time to read and tests you could never seem to pass, it felt like this was the first day you'd had to yourself in weeks. You were exhausted, and as pathetic as it sounded, there was nothing you wanted to do more than lay on your (or, technically, your roommate’s) couch, shovel junk food into your mouth, and watch the romantic lives of strangers disintegrate until you couldn’t remember a single second from the past two months. “I know, I know, but I feel like I’ll fall apart if I push myself further. I promise, we can do something fun and exciting and outdoorsy next time, but today,” You shook the remote. “It’s just me and the peninsula, babe.”

She rolled her eyes, but gave in quickly. Pushing herself to her feet, Luna stretched before turning towards you, both hands coming to rest on her hips. “I’ll leave you alone with the new love of your life, then. And, since I’m going to assume you won’t be getting up for the next twelve hours, I’m bringing you something to drink, too.” She paused, grinned. “Any requests?”

You hesitated. Luna didn’t have a reason to take care of you. She was your roommate, not your girlfriend, even if she had always been the overly-affectionate type. She liked to go behind your back, sometimes, wake up an hour before you to make breakfast despite her hours being nearly as hellish as yours, overpay on her half of the rent and attempt to write it off as your landlord’s mistake, and usually, you tried not to let her get away with it, to repay her kindness when you could and not accept it at all, when you knew you wouldn’t be able to. Usually, you’d brush her off, tell her to go out and enjoy herself. Usually, you wouldn’t let her baby you, but today…

“Can you make that tea again?” You asked, too tired to feel as ashamed as you should’ve. “The one with the mint leaves? And that weird not-quite-herbal taste?”

She sighed, shook her head, but a few minutes later, there was a warm mug in your hands, the beverage inside more bitter than you expected it to be but no less satisfying. You drained half the mug in the first sip, finished it in the second, and in an instant, any remaining scrap of tension in your body had evaporated. You melted back into your place on the couch, and Luna chuckled, leaning forward. You felt her hands on your shoulders, her thumbs digging into the flesh above your shoulder blades. You winced out of reflex, at first, but what little pain there was subsided into a subtle, but not completely unpleasant pressure as she pushed slow, steady circles into the muscles of your back.

Luna let out a low whistle as you leaned into her forceful touch. “You weren’t kidding. You’re as stiff as a plank, poor thing.”

“I mean, yeah. That’s kind of what I’m trying to fix.” You tried to sound sardonic, self-aware, but you had to bite your tongue not to groan as she found a particularly tense patch of muscle near the top of your spine. “Thanks for the reminder?”

She stopped, abruptly, letting you go with a low hum of disapproval. “I’m going to need you to lay down. If you don’t get a proper massage, your body might just give out on you.”

Her tone didn’t leave room for protest, but you tried to shake your head, to smile as you brushed her off. “You don’t have to do everything for me, y’know.”

“It’ll take five minutes.” She was rounding the couch. “Come on. I’ll have to do even more for you if you manage to give yourself early-onset paralysis.”

“Do you even have a license?”

“Lie down.”

Again, on any other day, you might’ve argued, but…

But, it just wasn’t worth it, today. You didn’t have the energy.

So, you laid down, folding your arms underneath your head and trying not to shift as Luna straddled your lower thighs. Her hands slipped under the hem of your tank-top, and you forced yourself not to flinch as she slipped the thin piece of fabric over your head. It was fine. Luna probably didn’t think anything of it. She was usually topless at home, and if she wasn’t, it meant she hadn’t put on enough clothes to just be topless, yet. You’d never met anyone so determined not to sleep in their own bed, which wouldn’t be an issue if she wasn’t equally as determined to sleep in the nude. You tried not to complain, though. It was her name on the lease, and you didn't want to be down a friend and a place to live just because you've seen more of your roommate than you'd honestly like to.

You jolted when she reached for the clasp of your bra, but Luna only chuckled, resting a hand on your shoulder and easing you back onto your chest. “Easy there,” She laughed. “You don’t expect me to work with this in the way, do you?”

“I… I guess not?” It was more of a question than explicit permission, but she rewarded you with a soft squeeze to your side. Your bra was removed as carelessly as your tank top, and after you made a feeble attempt to protect what was left of your modesty with a stray blanket, Luna continued.

She was kind enough to start gently. She favored the areas she had before – your upper back, your shoulders, the curve of your spine. You felt her blunt nails scrape over your skin, and occasionally, she seemed to press a little too hard, to aim for a spot that was a little too sensitive, but her slip-ups were few and far between, and slowly, you let yourself relax underneath her. As you let your guard down, she was able to move lower, to knead her fingertips into the muscle of your lower back and work out the knots of tension you hadn’t realized existed, not until Luna hit a nerve you couldn’t name and a wave of something warm and loose washed over you. This time, you were too slow to bite back the low whine that slipped past your lips, but Luna only laughed. She must’ve done this before. She didn’t seem fazed by anything, but then again, she never really did.

“This might be the most time we’ve spent together all month, y’know.” It was phrased light-heartedly, but guilt ate away at the back of your throat, nonetheless. She wasn’t wrong. You’d been busy – either away at work or locked in your room, studying. You didn’t have a lot of time to spend with anyone, let alone the roommate you’d known for a grand total of six months. Despite loving dearly, of course. “It’s hard not to feel a little neglected.”

You swallowed, dryly. “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve been busy, lately.”

You must’ve been more tired than you realized. Your eyes felt too heavy to keep open, and your body felt… strange, too, so numb and so hot and so cold, simultaneously. This time, you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it was part of the massage. “And I tried to take such good care of you, too,” Luna went on, as if you hadn’t said anything at all. “Do you know how hard it was to catch your attention? To get an ad out where I knew you would have to see it? I thought you might be easier to keep a hold on once we were living together, but even now, you’re too distracted to do so much as look at me.”

Her voice was still quiet, her tone still teasing, but dampened hostility laced her words. Her anger barely shined through, and yet, you weren’t sure you’d ever seen her so mad.

You tried to arch your back, to push yourself up, but it was all you could to do curl your fingertips into your palms, to force your eyes open. She was still on top of you, but her touch has changed – more lingering, less precise, any pretense of delicacy or purpose growing more and more distant with each passing second. You felt her hands fall to your waist, then your hips, her blunt nails digging into your ass as you let out a choked, panicked sound. It wasn’t a scream - it was still Luna, you’d never scream because of Luna – but you weren’t sure it would’ve made a difference, if it had been.

“I mean, a little attention is the least you could give me. I’ve been paying your bills for… what? Half a year? And your ‘rent’—” She cut herself off with an airy laugh. “A place like this for a rate like that? You have to know how much I've been doing for you, even if you always did like to play had to get.”

You didn’t know what she was talking about. You didn’t know what she was trying to say. You didn’t know what she was doing – or, rather, what she seemed to be getting ready to do. With a soft hum, she pressed a light kiss into the dip of your shoulder before straightening her back, shifting slightly. With deliberate, light movements, she drew you upward, chuckling as your limp body came to rest against her chest, your legs still trapped underneath you. “See? It’s not that hard to rely on someone else,” She said, despite your feeble efforts to put any amount of distance between you and her. “It’s easier, right? And I promise, it'll feel a lot better than being so stubborn.”

It was hard to speak. You vision was blurring, now, your mind starting to lag behind with the rest of your body. “I don’t…” You tried, then trailed off, shaking your head before you forced yourself to string together something more coherent. “I don’t know if this is—”

“You’re supposed to be relaxing. Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do, princess? Straining yourself is a little against the point.” You managed to raise a hand, to shove at the arm wrapped around your midriff, but Luna only kissed your cheek, only dug her nails into your side with enough force to break the skin. “All you have to worry about is sitting pretty and letting me take care of you. That doesn’t sound too hard, does it?”

The question was rhetorical. She clearly didn’t need an answer, and judging by the way her touch drifted to your chest, how her gentleness seemed to falter as her thumbs swiped over your nipples, she didn’t seem to want one, either. You jerked forward, stifling a whimper, and Luna’s grin seemed to widen, her teeth ghosting over vulnerable skin while she groped you, occasionally pinching your chest or nipping at your neck when her sedative threatened to overtake you completely.

Eventually, she moved on, moved lower, pull your shorts off and tracing two fingers over your slit, nearing purring when she felt the damp spot that stained your panties. She hadn’t done anything to earn it, but you were already panting, already struggling to feel anything but hot. A knot of tension had formed at the pit of your stomach, and it was all you could do to press your thighs together, to try to alleviate the rolling ache in your core. “Poor baby,” Luna drawled, her voice more giddy than sympathetic. “You just need all the help you can get, don’t you?”

Your panties were torn through easily, the ruined fabric quickly discarded. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you wished she would just touch you, do whatever she was going to do so you wouldn’t have to suffer through… whatever this was on your own, but the traitorous thought never reached the surface. Instead, Luna’s palm ground into your exposed clit, applying just enough pressure to leave you clenching your eyes shut and gritting your teeth, curling your toes and thrashing weakly against her. If she noticed your pathetic attempts at resistance, though, she didn’t seem to think it was worth her attention. She was already distracted, busy gathering your slick on her fingertips, bringing her hand up and somewhere behind you. For a few seconds, all you could hear were wet, terrible sounds before Luna giggled, squeezing you that much closer to her. You couldn’t remember seeing her this happy since…

Since the day you moved in.

You felt sick.

And yet, Luna remained unaffected. She took a moment to trace aimless, winding patters into the inside of your thigh, then seemed to lose her patience, cupping your cunt and listening to the strangled whine you let out, in response. “You know, for as long as we’ve been together, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you…” She trailed off, laughed, like that was what managed to embarrass her. “Well, touch yourself. I’ve never heard anything through the walls. I know you don’t have any toys, either. I would’ve found them by now. It's no wonder you're so pent-up. You never take the time to do anything nice for yourself.”

She was kind enough to start slowly, to keep the pad of her thumb pressed into your clit as she eased two fingers into your tight, dripping entrance. Painstakingly, she curled her digits before spreading them apart, stretching you open. “You never lock your door, either. At first, I thought you were just being cute in that ‘eager, but too shy to ask’ way, but it’s starting to seem like you’re just oblivious.” She sighed, pressed a kiss into the dip of your shoulder. “I still think it’s sweet, though. Honestly, you should count yourself lucky you ended up with someone willing to take the lead.”

She was merciless, not so much purposefully brutal as it experimental, rough in a way you had to attribute more to Luna’s impatience than any cruelty she might have. She refused to restrain herself to a certain pace, a specific rhythm – speeding up and slowing down at random, curling and straightening and scissoring her fingers apart just to see what made you tense up and shrink into yourself. You tried to bite your tongue, not to give her what you couldn’t deny she wanted, anymore, but there was only so much you could do to keep the air from hitching in your throat, to stop little whines and half-choked moans from stumbling past your lips as forced a third digit into your pussy. You twisted your head to the side, arching away from Luna as far as you could. She only held you tighter, only twisted her wrist more violently as your hips bucked into her hand, your body craving any friction it could inflict onto itself, regardless of the source. “This is going to be the first time I get to watch you cum,” She whispered, her excitement nearly tangible. “You really ought to take better care of yourself. Then, the person who loves you wouldn’t have to work so hard to do it for you.”

You didn’t argue. You couldn’t – you were already clenching down around her fingers, your vision burning white as your climax washed over you. Controlling your reaction would’ve been impossible, so you didn’t try to, spasming and twitching in her arms as she bullied you through your orgasm, only starting to slow down when pangs of overstimulation started to set in and your reactions turned more pained than pleasured. Even then, it took her a few more seconds to pull away, to lower you down until your back was flat against the couch and she was free to stand, to stretch, to position herself in between your open legs. Your thoughts were more coherent, now, less difficult to put together, but you were exhausted, too scared and too drained to move. You couldn’t do anything to get away from her, no matter how badly you might’ve wanted to.

“You’re so beautiful.” You didn’t know why she was still talking. You didn’t know why she bothered to. Trying to hold your attention, pretending it would make a difference if you closed your eyes and kept them closed until you were done. At least, then, the feeling of her lips ghosting over the inside of your thighs wouldn’t have been so vivid, the hands wrapping around your ankles just a little farther away. At least, this time, she didn’t try to draw it out, her lips brushing over your stomach, then your hip, eventually falling low enough for the flat of her tongue to lave over your slit. There was a soft moan, a row of nails burrowed into your skin, then her lips latched onto your clit, sucking gently and sapping out what little life you had left. She waited for you to cry out, then drew back, laughing. “And now, we’ll never have to ignore each other again.”

She sounded happy. You wanted to be happy for her, but you couldn’t seem to summon that much strength.

You let your head lull to the side as she nipped at your thigh, applying just enough force to leave the vulnerable flesh bruised and discolored. Again, she failed to settle on a certain goal, failed to set a pace you could latch onto – opting to keep you on the edge, to alternate between tracing patterns into your slit and fucking your shallowly with her tongue, humming and groaning in a way that seemed to shoot straight to your core. You tried to focus on something else, to keep your eyes on the blankest wall in your peripheral or give in to the cooling numbness slowly taking the place of the heat she’d inflicted onto you, but it was an effort made in vain. She knew you too well, even if you were starting to think you didn’t know her at all.

Her hands drifted to your hips, pinning you to the couch as she spread your legs that much farther, as she moaned shamelessly into your cunt. Everything she did was messy, and selfish, and too fast and too drawn out and too reckless all at the same time and it was working. You’d been helpless when she split you open with her fingers, too desperate to cum to feel anything except that lurking, clawing need, but she was able to edge you towards the cliffside, now, to force you to feel the tension building up in the pit of your stomach, slowly coiling tighter and tighter and tighter until you couldn’t help but clench your thighs together around her head, but ball at the blankets laid out underneath you and squirm, your hips involuntarily rocking against her mouth. This time, when you reached your climax, you were forced to let it wash over you, a frozen wave no less overpowering for how long it took to build up. There was nothing you could do to stave it off, but you weren’t sure you’d be willing to try, anymore.

When it ended, you could only close your eyes, making a weak effort to roll onto your side and curl into yourself. You felt Luna stand, heard her click her tongue before taking you into her arms. Vaguely, you were aware that she was carrying you back to her room, laying you across a plush bed, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, even as something very cold and very stiff wrapped around your ankle. Luna leaned over you, pressing a lingering kiss into your temple. “It’s alright, love. You can sleep for a while.” Her tone was soft, soothing. You couldn’t help but lean into the palm that pressed into your cheek, to listen as she went on, no matter how difficult it was to listen to her voice, now.

“I’ll be hear to take care of you when you wake up.”

#woman loving wednesday #except actually on wednesday this time #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere oneshot #yandere oc #yanderecore #yancore #yandere #yandere x reader

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secretsandwriting · 1 year

Text

The Little Moments [Swiss]

The little moments in which the ghouls realize that the feeling in their chest when they see you isn't just instincts anymore, it's love and their drowning in it.

A sequel of sorts to mate. Can be read alone.

[Dew] [Mountain] [Aether] [Rain] [Poly]

Swiss was trying to accept the Mate bond it wasn’t nearly as fast as the other ghouls but it was happening. Everyone was just glad they didn’t have to worry about him hurting himself more. The other ghouls would sit down and talk with Swiss, while no one knew why he tried so hard to break it they did know that coming out of instincts to a mate wasn’t easy and it was something they all had to come to terms with.

So here he was following Dew’s advice and bringing you your favorite work appropriate drink to see your reaction because Dew said the little things like bringing a drink or snack, or little kisses on the forehead were apparently things that would cause a reaction that would make his stomach go all fluttery as Dew put it.

Now Swiss wasn’t a fool, he knew those things affected people and all that but he wasn’t sure how much seeing it would give him that big of a reaction, sure it might make him feel nice but that was about it.

Swiss heard talking from your office so he knocked louder before opening the door and stepping in. You paused the video but before you could say anything you were met with a cup in front of your face.

“For you.” Swiss watched as you gently took the cup from him and looked into, attempting to figure out what it was before you took a sip, he could see the moment you figured out what it was. The way your eyes widened just a little bit, and the spark of excitement that brightened your face, the way the corners of your lips turned up just enough to be able to notice it, and the way your shoulders seemed to loosen up a bit.

When you did take a sip, the spark softened into a gentle glow, the way your smile took over filling your presence with something so beautifully relaxed Swiss felt himself relaxing with you.

“Thank you! It’s exactly how I like it!” The smile sent his way made him realize Dew was wrong, his stomach wasn’t going all fluttery. It felt like he had just been punched in the stomach and all the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

When Swiss made it to practice ten minutes later, still reeling from the feeling. Dew just smirked at him from his spot on the floor. Maybe Dew knew what he was talking about, just a little.

—---------

Swiss wanted to rip his head off his shoulders. A migraine pounded against his skull making it so the slightest of sounds made his ears ring and the faintest lights sent him reeling despite knowing it wouldn’t work, he had taken some migraine meds. After all, human medication wouldn’t help his elements being out of balance.

The door to the room opened and while it was darker in the hallway than normal and you had opened the door quieter than normal, it still felt like you had added more knives to the collection already in his head. While he wanted nothing more than to scream at you to leave so he could ride this out by himself, this was your room too, you were making a conscious effort to be as quiet as possible, and it was late. You had been working all day so you were probably ready for bed. It didn’t make the thought of you leaving any less nice though.

He felt the bed dip as you got into your spot in the nest and settled in until all he could hear from your side was your breathing. Little spikes of pain shot into his skull with every single breath and yet he found himself craving your affection. He desperately wanted to curl up into your arms and breath in your scent, for you to hold him and make the pain go away.

Deciding that he wasn’t going to be feeling any better any time soon so he might as well get the comfort he’s craving, he slowly moved over to where you were laying on your side and tucked himself into your chest. Both of your hands found their way into his hair and Swiss melted at the little bit of sweet relief that came with you rubbing his scalp. Your gentle message did more to help his migraine than anything else had ever done, he would have laughed if it weren’t for the rest of the pain. Who would have thought he would be close to crying over a head massage.

“Please don’t stop.” If it hadn’t been silent in the room you would have missed it. He relaxed again when you started up again, feeling a little bad because you were probably tired and yet he was asking for more but you hadn’t said anything and just continued on his request. It was the first time Swiss had ever been able to sleep with one of his imbalance headaches.

When he woke up in the morning with your hands still in his hair, he had never felt more grateful. He had no idea how late you had been awake and to wake up with your hands still against his head, filled his stomach with something stronger than butterflies. He was really starting to understand why the other ghouls liked having mates.

Squirrels, he decided. You made him feel like he had squirrels going crazy in his stomach.

—---------

Swiss sighed as he opened his guitar case, he didn’t want to be a practice today. None of the ghouls did. It was one of those dreary days that messed with all the elements somehow, making them all feel out of whack.

Glancing down before picking up the instrument he noticed a little orange piece of paper stuck to it. Flipping it over he was met with your handwriting.

Have a good practice, I have some snacks in my office for you when you're done!

The little hearts in the corner and the promise of food made practice sound a little less bad. He glanced up to see all of the other ghouls holding notes of their own with their own looks of affection.

“It’s a conspiracy.” Dew muttered, nothing but amusement behind his words. Everyone agreed and they all tucked their notes somewhere for safekeeping.

When he got to your office it was empty but on your desk, was one of his favorite drink and snack with another orange note.

Sorry I missed you! Sister Imperator called a sudden meeting and I have no idea how long it will be. Enjoy your snack I’ll see you at dinner!

Swiss tried to ignore the disappointment that settled in his stomach. He had looked forward to seeing you at least for a minute. He ate his snack on the couch, pulling the blanket off the back to curl up under when the chill of the room got to be too much.

Swiss blinked awake, not sure when he had fallen asleep or what had woken him up. The sound of keyboard keys had him looking up to see you working at the computer, he stayed where he was, head resting against the back of the couch as he watched you work. The headphones you normally didn’t use covering your ears, the faint sound of music reaching Swiss’s ears. You glanced over at him and he melted into the couch at the smile you sent him as you pulled the headphones off one of your ears as you looked back at your screen.

“Enjoy your nap?” He nodded, pulling the blanket closer around. “Dinner is in about 15 minutes so let me finish this one thing and we can go.” Swiss nodded again, a soft purr building in his chest as he realized he would gladly wait for you. It didn’t matter what for or how long, he would wait.

Check out my ao3

#Ghost x reader #Ghost fanfiction #ghost bc #band ghost #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost band x reader #nameless ghouls #nameless ghouls x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #ry writes #swiss army ghoul #swiss x reader

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melonba11s · 10 months

Text

Eat Your Heart Out (Ren Hana BTD Fic)

Got a little nasty with this one, and let Ren wild out.

Contains: Ren, Strade, Cannibalism, Necrophilia, Snuff Stream.

Ren stood awkwardly behind the camera, watching Strade work with his current guest…

They were very unresponsive now, and the Chat was getting bored of them.

“BEG, they uh… They think you should just finish the job.” He said, watching a few donations ping in with requests. Strade gave a sigh, seemingly agreeing. His mouth was hidden behind his skull mask but Ren could tell by his eyebrows that he was upset. He seemed to have thought he’d have been able to make a lot of money off of this one.

Ren gripped at his thighs, sniffing the air. Blood. It was all he could smell. And the scent seemed to pulse with each beat of their heart… They were really cute, the moment he knew they were dead meat, he’d been thinking of it. Their heart. He just wanted a taste of it.

He jumped at the sound of a large donation. He glanced at the chat, only to be shoved away by Strade.

Strade’s eyes narrowed at the request, then raised his eyebrows at the amount offered. A slow chuckle came from within his chest, as he glanced at Ren.

“Fuchs.” The name he gave Ren whenever Ren was on stream. “I have a proposition for you. Me and Woundfucker do.”

He beckoned for Ren to follow as he moved towards his guest again. He picked up the camera and set it down on a different table, giving chat a side view of what was happening. Optimal viewing for what he was about to have Ren do. Strade positioned himself behind his guest, holding their arms behind their back and forcing their chest out.

“Go from the bottom.” He instructed. “Don’t sever any of the major veins or arteries when you pull it out.” Ren got the idea immediately. He nodded, unsheathing his claws as his eyes began to glow with animal instinct. He needed to keep it just tied down enough though.

The person was staring at him, their eyes dull but holding a single emotion, a request.

“Just finish it. I’m ready.” Ren nodded, meeting their gaze. He would grant their request. Messily, and in a way that would probably horrify them. One last ghastly expression before their life ended.

Ren took in a deep breath and started, tracing down their chest to find the bottom of their rib cage… Then tearing into it like Strade tore into a steak dinner.

His victim let out a gasp, and then a wail as Ren carefully opened their chest up. Ribs cracking, he took care not to puncture their lungs, watching the organs expand and deflate with each labored breath. And there… resting in a divet slightly under the right lung, it was. Beating quickly.

He grasped it, like he was grabbing for a fragile treasure, pulling slowly. He needed to get it out and into view of the camera, but not too far. Otherwise he’d tear it away from the chest and they’d die nearly instantly.

The look on their face was beautiful. Their eyes were wide, mouth agape to catch the copious amounts of tears silently trickling down their cheeks. They were only gasping now, they wouldn’t last long like this at all.

“Eat, Fuchs.” Strade commanded, after glancing at the camera to make sure the angle was right. Ren obeyed.

He leaned forward and sunk his teeth into the still beating heart. So fresh, so warm, that it almost felt like he was diving into one of his coveted bathes as the blood burst forth. Up his nose, down his chin, across his front.

Ren narrowed his eyes, ripping his face back as he tore a chunk off, making sure to chew with his mouth open so that Chat could see as he ground what was once a functional right ventricle into mince meat.

Ren watched through his chewing as the guest let out one last word before their had slumped forward and they faded into oblivion.

“My…” Was all that managed to escape their lips. Their what? Their heart? Their blood? Their body? Their life? What did it matter. It was his now. He owned all of it. He had taken the fatal blow, he had dug out their heart and claimed it as his own by choosing to devour it.

It sent Ren into a frenzy, as he quickly peeled the heart open like string cheese, lapping up the pools of blood from, coating his face in it as he gnawed on it.

“What a good boy, isn’t he? Was that interesting enough?” He could hear Strade dimly talking to his audience, before that all faded away. Ren couldn’t help himself, he was way too hard now.

He jerked his pants downwards and dove forward, using one hand to continue to keep the precious organ near his mouth as he used the other to position the still warm body.

He didn’t know if he entered their hole or their gaping chest cavity, all he knew was that it was warm. The dings of donations became constant, and Strade actually looked rather surprised before he caught himself and let out an appreciative whistle.

Ren just continued to buck and thrust forward, blood smearing and beginning to trickle down his legs. With a final swallow, getting the last of the heart down, Ren let out a howl as he came.

They were entirely his now. He had claimed their heart, he had claimed their body. He leaned forward, bracing himself against them, nuzzling his face into their neck as if they could still feel it.

He was exhausted, breathing heavily. He was going to need a shower before he went to bed…

He jolted a bit as Strade began to ruffle his hair, petting him, letting out a laugh. His mask was down, he must have ended the stream.

“Amazing job, Fuchs. You earned me so much with that improv!... I’ll have to use it to buy you a reward.” Ren looked up at him for a moment, then smiled, showing off pointed teeth still stained red with strings of flesh caught between them. For a moment he glanced down at Strade’s chest, then quickly looked away, beginning to untangle himself from the body.

… That vital heart, beating in Strades chest. He wondered if he’d ever be able to claim it.

#boyfriend to death fanfic #strade #boyfriend to death #btd fanfic #boyfriend to death 2 #strade btd #ren hana btd #ren btd #ren boyfriend to death #ren hana #btd #melons july ficfest

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definitelynotafurinasimp · 1 year

Text

Them reacting to you tripping in front of them

characters: Hu Tao / Dehya x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: Dehya Drip Marketing got me acting unwise. So I decided to write something for her even though I slept 3 hours today and haven't written anything in a while, so I'm really sorry if there are any mistakes.

Also, this is one of my first times writing for Dehya, so if I got something about her wrong, I'm sorry

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Hu Tao

Like it or not, as long as your fall wasn’t lethal Hu Tao wouldn’t be able to hold in at least a giggle or two, or even break out in full out laughter. She would of course help you, you were after all one of the few people around she really wouldn’t want to have as a customer any time soon, but that would probably have to wait a bit, no matter how much you pouted.

“Like I said, Qingxin Slime Condensate isn’t *that* bad-”, you barely managed to finish your sentence before being met with the unpleasant feeling of nearly face planting into the ground, barely managing to put the hands you so fervently used to gesture just a second before in front of you. And while you escaped without too much physical harm, your dignity took a massive hit the moment you let out a way too high pitched yelp.

It took the funeral director a couple of seconds to process what had just happened, but once she did, she wasted no time at all before bursting out in laughter, trying her best to calm herself down as she put her hands onto her stomach and mockingly imitated your yelp.

“Oh my sides- you should have heard yourself! It sounded so-”, she didn’t even bother to finish her sentence, too busy with trying to take a few deep breaths and wiping away her tears before once again looking down at you, nearly falling into another laughing fit once she saw you pout.

Finally she snatched your arm and started helping you up, but not without a big smile on her face of course.

Dehya

While working as a mercenary had a fair share of up- and downsides, the moment Dehya caught you before you yourself had realized that you had tripped, you couldn’t help but be thankful for the reflexes she appropriated during her working hours, even if, as you would no doubt soon notice, it had placed you in a slightly awkward position.

“That was close. Pay more attention or you might not get as lucky next time”, she slightly lectured you while still holding you in between her arms, not thinking anything to be wrong with it until she noticed your silence, causing her to finally look back down to you, only to be greeted with the sight of you staring at her in awe.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”, Dehya asked, feeling herself grow slightly embarrassed by it, causing her tone to come out more defensive than intended.

“Oh- er- nothing. I just found your reflexes really cool”, you were quick to try and play your blush off, not really sure what you were saying as you managed to take a step back, finally letting you take a deep breath instead of getting flustered by the sudden, although anything but planned, hug.

“Anyway, it’s getting late, let’s call it a day”, you continued your thoughtless rambling, even though a single glance at the sky made it pretty clear that it was nowhere to getting late. Something you would have certainly noticed if your brain were working right, instead you showed her a quick smile before going on your merry way, immediately stumbling again the moment your eyes left the ground.

#hu tao imagines #hu tao x reader #hu tao x you #hu tao x y/n #dehya imagines #dehya x reader #dehya x you #dehya x y/n

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beeceit · 7 months

Note

For a place with hundreds of versions of himself, the multiverse felt lonely.

This was the Casey venue specifically, almost everyone in the room was some variation of himself. A couple of them were accompanied by their Sensei, or a teenage Leo.

There were several glaring commonalities in these variants, the clearest being that every single one of them appeared to be human. If any of them had inhuman traits under their armour or their hoodies, it didn’t show.

Casey pulled his hood a little further over his face. He was getting sick of the double takes the other Caseys kept making every time they noticed the hunch of his back or his tail out of the corners of their eyes. Every single time he lifted his head without his mask on, one met his eyes with shock in theirs, and he quickly looked back at the floor. It was a lot easier when it was people who didn’t know he was ever anything other than a mutant, or close family.

A couple of the younger Caseys had run up to him excitedly, asking how awesome it was to be a turtle, gasping in awe at his red stripes and his orange spots when he opened his mask to show them.

“I wanna be a turtle someday!” one of them had squealed. “Like Sensei!”

The others chorused along with him. They asked to see his shell, one of them wouldn’t stop poking his tail. One of them said he must be super strong like his uncles. Casey had turned around and left when one asked if he’d been born a turtle or turned into one. He lowered his mask in front of his face, and continued walking.

Casey shoved his hands deep into his hoodie pockets, fidgeting with the webbing between his fingers that he still wasn’t used to having. This was stupid! If he’d found out about this place only a week or two before he would’ve been like the others. Or at the very least he’d still look like the others, think he was human like they were. Maybe then he’d be brave enough to show his face. Hell, he might have even made friends. There was an understandable number of Caseys who stood off to the side, or walked alone through the crowd like he did, but even more were paired up or in larger groups. When he didn’t hear them speculating about him, he heard them talking about strange things they’d learned about the past, or comparing stories from their pasts in the future. Some of them seemed like they’d never gone back in time at all, listening to the stories of the past with wide, awe-filled eyes.

Casey kept his gaze to the ground. Maybe he should leave, his dad probably needed some protection from the other adult Leonardos. They tended to be left more or less alone if they had a child with them, especially if it was a Casey. Maybe he could find his Leo in the sea of teenage Leos (who seemed to keep losing the same arm) to provide some moral support. Or to just not be alone.

Stewing in his own self pity, he was distracted enough that he tripped right over the foot of someone’s Sensei, nearly falling without any grace before the Leonardo caught him by the wrist. Casey spun to meet the familiar stranger’s eyes.

“Crap, sorry kid,” the Leonardo rushed, before pausing. Casey’s blood ran colder. The Leonardo squinted at the hand he’d grabbed from Casey, green and webbed and exposed.

Any words Casey could’ve said vanished with the air in his lungs. He yanked his hand from the Leonardo’s grip. The Leonardo was staring at him just as incredulously as everyone else did. Casey turned on his heel to speedwalk away fast enough to make himself slightly dizzy. His pounding heart jumped back into his throat when the Leonardo’s hand seized him by the shoulder, pulling him back.

“Wait, don’t go!” he yelped.

Casey just stood frozen as the Leonardo moved his hand up to his scarf to do what, grab a notepad? Ask more stupid questions? Study him?

The Leonardo pulled the edge of his scarf down slightly, and quietly chirped into it.

‘Casey, look.’

A pair of black eyes that matched the Leonardo’s attached to a bright green snout poked a little bit out from behind the Leonardo’s scarf. They nervously looked Casey up and down, widening when they traced the curve of his covered shell and found his green hands and feet. The snout retreated back into the scarf.

Casey caught a soft click that was too quiet for him to interpret.

“Do you want to talk to him?” the Leonardo prompted the scarf turtle.

Casey barely moved while the turtle slid off of the Leonardo’s shell, leaving the safety of his hiding place to press himself against his Sensei’s leg.

They just stared at each other for a moment.

The turtle wore very little aside from the cape that almost every Casey wore. He had little spiral slider stripes under his eyes, and long black hair. He looked even younger than the teenage version of Mikey, somewhere around thirteen or fourteen. He seemed to only have three fingers on each hand rather than Casey’s five webbed ones. His tail was tucked between his legs.

Casey hesitantly, breathlessly took off his mask. The other Casey looked halfway to crying, but stepped a little bit forward. He looked up at his Leonardo, who looked back encouragingly.

“Go on!” The Leonardo nudged the Casey another step forward. Casey did the same.

Other Casey sucked in a shallow breath and sprinted the last few steps, wrapping Casey in a tight embrace. Casey shook off the surprise and hugged back.

Other Casey chirped quietly in his ear and gripped Casey’s hoodie as if it was the one thing between him and falling off of a cliff. ‘I knew I couldn’t be the only one.’

Casey squeezed. “I didn’t.”

‘I like your spots.’

Casey’s tail wagged a little bit of its own accord. “Your stripes are great.”

The other Casey hiccupped. ‘Thanks.’

They broke the embrace and held each others’ shoulders at arms length. The other Casey smiled at him tearfully, then wavered and sobbed. Then he smiled again, and Casey smiled back.

“It’s cold, isn’t it?”

The other Casey chittered a laugh. ‘Yeah.’

Casey pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “Wanna get something at the food court? Some of the Mikeys set up a kitchen, it’s warm and tastes delicious.”

‘That sounds so good,’ other Casey warbled. He all but fell back into the hug, nuzzling into Casey’s shoulder. Casey patted his shell gently.

This kid wasn’t going to hurt alone. He wasn’ going to hurt alone. Neither of him.

I'M GOING TO WEEP AND SCREAM AND SOB, THIS IS SO PRECIOUS

CASEY'S GONNA BE THE BIG BROTHER EVER TO HIM AND THEY'RE GOING TO TACO BELL

#peepaw multiverse #in the bottom of the bottle #A tear in my eye #atime #itbotb #itbotb crossover #I don't think I have a tag for that actually #I'm actually gonna cry this is so good #bottle casey is gonna take SUCH good care of him

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azsazz · 1 year

Text

Alone

Azriel x Reader

Summary: You’ve been sent on a mission with Azriel and Cassian in the Winter Court. It should be quick and easy but it’s anything but as the Winter armies are out to get the three of you. Cassian is injured and Azriel orders you to go with him, forcing the two of you to maneuver through the soldier infested town to meet at the safe house.

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence. Gore, blood, injuries, etc.

Word Count: 3,447

Notes: Most of this is taken from my fanfic about Ghost so if you see the similarities no you don’t.

Happy New Year to all of my beautiful followers. Thank you for making this year insanely incredible, i appreciate you all so much. Here’s to 2023!! 💙

_________________________________________

ALONE

WINTER COURT

LATE DECEMBER

_____

Why Rhysand had found it imperative to make a move against the Winter Court in the height of the season was beyond you, but you really hate him right now.

A run-in with winter soldiers had stopped Azriel, Cassian, and yourself from arriving at the safe house Rhys had given you the coordinates for your mission. The one with the cozy fireplace and warm blankets and steaming drinks waiting for you. Cover from the blizzard you can smell rolling in on the harsh winds.

Fucking bears.

They’d been armed with spears and bows, nearly blending into the white terrain, saddled upon the backs of the large beasts not found anywhere else across Prythian. Camouflage should have been easy here, clad yourself in light leathers specially made, but joined with two Illyrians who’s wings stick out like inky sores against the puffy white snow, you’re just as visible as they are.

You and Cassian had laughed terribly hard when Azriel had finally shown up to Rhysand’s office. The white of the armor was unlike anything you’d ever seen him in. Of course, there was the occasional time you’d see him in a blue or green so dark it could hardly be considered anything but black, but this…

He was striking.

It had taken your breath away, and you’d realized he was so late because he was probably debating on even attending the mission, he looked so uncomfortable in the garb. His tanned skin appears darker against the bright cloth, his jet black hair pure midnight. His wings had been pinned up behind him with tension and his shadows nearly vibrated around him, anxious and annoyed.

But you’d covered your feelings with a laugh, forcefully pushing away the twist of want coiling in your stomach like a snake, a bud of flame flickering to life inside of you at the sight of the Shadow of Death wearing clothing that could only be considered Armor of the Gods.

That had been hours ago, when the sun was just about to peek over the horizon. Rhys had gone over the plan once more, looking you all in the eyes with that spark he always did before any of you were sent off to defend the Night Court. Stay safe. Come home.

A firm nod from the three of you and another check for the weapons you’d strapped to your person, a bow across your back – not one forged for an Illyrian, you were still in the process of building enough muscle to pull the string back a single inch – and knives at your belt, another strapped to your thigh and one in your thick boots that already had you running hot. You were positive you’d be regretting complaining so you’d kept your mouth shut about it at the time.

You were right to keep quiet, because now that the sun has risen and fallen, you’re as cold as an ice cube. Colder even.

You can’t feel your nose, not even with the mask you’d pulled over your face before you’d left the Night Court. Your eyes feel like they are stuck shut, the winter winds freezing your eyelashes together. Your jaw aches from your chattering teeth and the thick coat you’d bundled yourself in is doing nothing to stave away the chill.

“Quit shaking,” Cassian grumbles from next to you. He can hear the clacking of your teeth clear as day, wouldn’t be surprised if the winter armies are tracking the three of you this way, the sound echoing through the peaks and depths of the mountains, wouldn’t be surprised if the cadence causes an avalanche. He’s trying to get some shut eye before you’re on the move again, deeper into the mountains of the Winter Court.

Azriel is on watch while the two of you attempt to sleep, but the tiny fire he’d lit with the scraps of brittle trees does nothing to thaw the aching in your frozen bones.

“I’m trying,” you grit, and the heated breath from your words warms your lips and nose for a second, the mask encapsulating the heat for mere moments before the chill sucks it away again, leaving you even colder than before.

“Try harder,” he grunts and you roll your eyes behind your shut lids.

“I’m sorry I’m not used to the weather like you are,” you try to spit at him but you end up stuttering because of the shaking of your jaw, “Fucking Illyrians.”

You curse Rhysand in your head. You don’t even understand why he’d sent you with them, surely the two males you were with could do this on their own, more sufficiently without you anyway.

“Shut up,” Cassian shifts, his large arm coming to wrap around your waist. He tugs you back easily until you’re nestled up against his chest. The ground is freezing, no longer slightly thawed from your body heat but you’re thankful for the large Illyrian that feels like a furnace against your back. Even better, one who wraps you up beneath his wing, blocking the winter breeze.

You shiver for a moment before settling in against him, feeling warmer already.

The urge to pry your eyes open to look at Azriel waves over you, heating your cheeks beneath your thick mask. You can feel his gaze burning holes into where you’re cuddled up to Cassian, and you’re sure if you open your eyes that his face would be shroud in dark shadows, watching how his brother has so easily pulled you into his body, keeping you from freezing to death somewhere in the tundra of your least favorite court.

No one knows that you and Azriel have been sleeping together for a few months. It’s nothing more than that, though, just friends who spend time in each other's beds sometimes. He’d hold you afterwards, but was always gone when you woke up, alone in your too large bed at the House of Wind.

You nearly forgot how it had started. A cold evening for the Night Court and in your haste to leave your night coated room you’d only slipped into a thin robe, foregoing even a pair of socks as you raced through the halls to the roof, gulping down the fresh air before it had really washed over you. The chill had painted your flushed skin with goosebumps and you’d tugged the robe tighter around yourself but it did nothing to keep the cold away.

Azriel had been there, in one of the loungers by the training ring. He’d sat up in your presence, alert and watching you as you frantically tried to calm yourself.

He didn’t dare make himself known. A part of him didn’t want to, wanted to winnow away or hide behind his shadows while he observed the silk clinging to every curve of your body and the bob of your throat as you greedily gulped down air.

If it were anyone else he would’ve left without question. But even he could recognize the way the atmosphere had shifted when he was around you as of late, charged and taut like it was that night.

You hadn’t wanted to talk about it, after getting over your initial surprise that you hadn’t been alone. Instead, you’d sat together, climbed up onto the same lounge he was on, tucking yourself into his arms as you both watched the moon creep higher into the sky, his body warm against yours, every place he touched was exciting, something you could drive away the nightmares.

Sitting until you could no longer stand it, you’d kissed him.

Azriel hadn’t reacted well, pulling away and holding you back with gentle hands on your shoulders, chest heaving and hazel eyes nearly black and wild as they roved your face.

“I don’t want to feel it anymore, Az,” you’d admitted softly, throat thickening with emotion, “Just want to focus on something else for a while.”

He could get behind that. He had many demons of his own he was running from, and to get lost in another’s body proved to be a much better way of keeping the creeping darkness away than he had thought.

So the both of you had used each other to hide from the nightmares, the dark thoughts scratching at the backs of your minds, molding your bodies into one, no questions asked. And that was that.

You shouldn’t feel bad about this. Cassian doesn’t know, it’s not like you and Azriel are anything, he’s not jumping at the chance to cuddle you up to save you from the beginning stages of hypothermia. He never does, always leaves once the both of you have caught your breath. The warlord is being a good friend and just trying to keep you warm. Azriel shouldn’t have any type of feelings about the matter.

And frankly, neither should you.

.·:·.☽ ✦ ☾.·:·.

Azriel’s voice startles you awake.

“We’ve been compromised. Get up.”

Cassian is already rousing at your back, shaking his wings out as he climbs to his feet, hand secured around the hilt of his long sword, pulling it out with an ease that settles the racing of your heart a little. The frost that has formed upon the expanse of membranous skin cracks and flutters to the ground in shards.

You blink the sleep from your eyes, noticing how Azriel has Truth-Teller in one hand and the other is being offered to you to help you up.

Your bones are stiff, frozen in their positions and they crack and creak when he pulls you to your feet. There’s an unreadable look in Azriel’s eyes and you can tell that his jaw is clenched beneath his own mask as he assists you in passing your bow over. You immediately reach for an arrow, knocking it into place, willing warmth to melt the tension in your body and readying yourself as he speaks.

“They’re coming up from the south,” he explains, voice hard. “I was going to try and take them out but there’s too many. We need to move.”

As Azriel finishes you catch movement in the trees. You raise your bow in response, scanning the terrain for movement. They shouldn't be this close according to Azriel, whom you’ve never known to be caught off guard, but just as a blur of white lunges from the tree line with a war cry you can’t help but wonder how he hadn’t known about the group creeping up to catch you off guard.

You let your arrow soar, embedding into the soldier who had been aiming for Azriel’s back. Your heart pounds in your chest when you catch sight of the long icy blade that falls alongside him, gleaming under the light from the moon.

As you reach for another arrow in the quiver strapped across your back they swarm from the trees like a blizzard, melting into the terrain seamlessly.

You twist, trying to follow a soldier who is slipping in and out of the clearing with the ease of an arctic fox, dipping a ducking around the limbs and your arrows before you lose sight, the warrior looking exactly like the snow filled trees all around.

You need to get out of here immediately.

One lunges for Azriel but he expects it, side-stepping them with ease, shoving the soldier into the frozen ground. With a flash of his knife the warrior is disarmed, bleeding from the deep slit in his throat, garbling and choking on the thick, hot blood leaking from under his clasped hands.

“Az, what the fuck?” Cassian grunts, blocking the sharp blade of another Winter Court soldier.

It’s along the lines of what’s running through your own mind as you lock aim on another warrior, releasing your arrow with intention. It hits home in the shoulder of the fighter, embedding deep into their flesh despite all of the thick padding, falling to the ground where Cassian finishes them off.

Azriel doesn’t respond, falling to a knee to drive his knife up between the attackers mask and their chest plate, embedding his weapon into the soft flesh before he’s twisting out of the path of the falling body and sweeping out the feet of another soldier behind.

How such a large male moves with the stealth of a predator you haven’t any idea, but now certainly isn’t the time to wonder as Azriel pivots, throwing his knife with skilled precision at the next winter clad warrior. The blade finds home in the enemy’s chest and you finish him off with an arrow to the eye socket.

You flinch as something whizzes past your ear, snagging on the threads of your mask, exposing your cheek to the cold as you curse. The sulfuric tang hanging in the air that follows has your stomach dropping and your blood turning icy in your veins.

“They have faebane,” you shout, immediately firing an arrow haphazardly in the direction the one that had nearly impaled you had come from. Why the Winter Court fae are using the power nulling powder on their weapons you can’t seem to wrap your mind around, you don’t have the time to delve deeper into it as more soldiers rush into the clearing from the forests beyond.

The rest of the army must be getting close by now, if anything that Azriel warned is true. If the rest of them reach the three of you there will be no surviving this. You’ll all be bear food.

A soldier comes up behind you but you’re quicker, instincts kicking in as you throw an elbow back into the soldier behind you. You reach for the knife at your thigh with ease, plucking it from its holster and shoving the blade into the fleshy part of his neck, all the way down to the hilt.

You ready another arrow, abandoning the knife stuck in the soldier's neck. Eyes trained on the woods surrounding you and your comrades, you even your breath, locking sight onto an enemy warrior before letting the arrow go in a motion that has become second nature.

It lands and there’s a shout of pain. You don’t have time to watch, make sure that he’s fallen, grabbing for another night tipped arrow from your quiver.

They’re difficult to see, blending in perfectly with the snow. It’s still too dark out for you to really be able to see just how many of them there are. You could try tracking their prints but you’d be looking down at the ground and not where you’re supposed to be.

There’s a cry of agony that you immediately recognize to be Cassian. Spinning around you see an arrow stuck in the lord’s shoulder. He stumbles back a few feet from the impact, tripping over a body, careening to the ground with a grunt.

“Cassian,” you shout, heart stammering in your chest at the sight of your injured friend.

You’re faster than Azriel is, who’s occupied with two more soldiers armed with thick cut icy blades, using his shadows to blind his attackers before slicing into them with precision. There’s a soldier towering over Cassian now, and you don’t even need to think, the protector in you blasting full force as you release your arrow, killing the warrior with a well aimed shot.

Azriel appears out of his shadows, falling to his knees swiftly as an arrow zips over his head. The thought of the tall male on his knees would be arousing if you were in a different situation, but here and now, in danger like this, it’s worrisome. The spray of blood splatters his white mask crimson, just like the blood you’re trying to stop from seeping out around the wound in Cassian’s shoulder.

“Go you two, get out of here,” Azriel orders, dark eyes flashing with concern. You open your mouth to respond, the urge to tell him to come with you is breaking, but you don’t get the chance because he’s shouting now, “Go!”

An arrow whizzes straight between the two of you and you duck as Cassian sits up in a burst of adrenaline, throwing a knife in the direction the arrow had come from. He looks like he’s going to protest Azriel’s orders as he climbs to his feet. He’s the warlord, you should all be following his commands, but there’s a quick and silent conversation and Cassian sways in his spot before gaining his footing and blinking the blur from his eyes.

There’s more Winter Court soldiers spilling into the war zone, the shouts and calls of the warriors as they close in are terrifying. They’re not trying to take you alive, they’re hunting to kill.

Cassian grabs your coat with a final nod at Azriel, hauling you over fallen trees and into the forest.

You want to scream at them both for leaving Azriel behind but you’ve got to pay attention, focusing your anger on shooting down every soldier that crosses your path.

You follow Cassian blindly, and neither of you realize that the ground cuts off into a steep snow filled slope because there’s soldiers on your heels and the growls of bears are only getting closer.

You’re sweating under your mask as you try to keep up. You tumble down the hill after Cassian, your legs giving out as you twist and turn, trying to stop yourself from slipping further down the mountain. The powdery snow puffs into the air from the force of your flailing body, blinding you on your way down.

You land on top of Cassian with a grunt as you slide the rest of the way towards the bottom of the slick hill together, his hands wrapped firmly around your waist, your back to his chest as he steadies you, where you find the balance against him to shoot upwards at the remaining soldiers who don’t dare follow. They’re most likely thinking that the two of you won’t survive the fall or that you’ll cause an avalanche that will surely kill the both of you.

The fall is anything but smooth, but at least you’re not the one on the bottom. Your shot lands and a Winter soldier careens over the lip of the ledge after the both of you, streaks of red painting the pristinely white snow following his tumbling body.

“Fuck,” you roll off of Cassian once you’ve come to a slippery stop at the bottom of the hill, still trying to aim for the soldiers at the top. It’s too dark to see them, the moon is no longer in sight, like she’d been afraid of the war happening below her and hid away as if she could somehow be injured herself.

Cassian climbs to his feet with a grunt, chest heaving as he tries to right his erratic breathing. The wound in his shoulder is screaming from the fall and a quick inspection shows that the shaft had snapped during the drop but the arrowhead is still embedded deep into his flesh, blood trickling in a constant stream, coloring his white leathers ruby red.

Thankfully his sword had made the trip. He plucks it from the snow, keeping a firm grip around it as he urges you on, “(Y/N). Let’s go.”

You slip on your first step past Cassian, who is more than welcoming you to take the lead in his injured state. The snow is thick beneath your boots, dusting your leathers, seeping through the thick fabric. You know once you stop sweating you’ll be even colder than before.

Cassian groans as he straightens you, his wound screaming as he helps you stay steady, before he’s shoving you forward into the looming forest beyond.

You take no chances, holding your bow tightly in your hands, raised and at the ready as Cassian follows hot on your trail, weaving in and out of the trees. You can hear the sounds of the soldiers getting quieter as you move, presumably looking for Azriel, whom you know can take care of himself but the thought of him up there alone leaves a sick feeling in your stomach.

“Find them!” The shout is startling, even though you know you and Cassian are moving further away. With the snow picking up your tracks will be covered. How fast they’ll be covered is the real question.

You shove a low hanging branch out of your way, grumbling when the snow falls flat on your head. Cassian’s strained chuckle has you moving quicker. You need to find the safe house, wherever that may be, and with the Winter Court soldiers so camouflaged you need to keep your eyes peeled.

This isn’t going to be easy.

#Azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel/reader #azriel/you #acotar #acowar #acomaf #acotarxreader #azsazz #azriel angst #azriel smut #alone #part one

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