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#pre-op preparation
phallo-diary · 4 months
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So I have a show that I'm (hoping) to go to at 11 weeks post-op and I was wondering about logistics of being on the floor and if I'd even be mosh pit ready (I think that's way too optimistic, I've got a new dick and my arm graft to worry about). I posted on a fairly big phallo facebook group and it was very eye opening. I had some people talking about how just leaving the house at 10 weeks was exhausting and a bunch of people saying I should just skip it. It feels jarring. I opted take 10 weeks off instead of the 6 my surgeon was saying was fine, and hearing other people's struggles to heal makes me nervous. I don't know if I should be more worried about 10 weeks being enough. I have to hope that since it's just the creation of the phallus, that I'm not getting UL, that I'll be fine. It's still going to be brutal on my body, but like, wild.
Ultimately I'm gunna try to go sit through the show. Regardless of how great I feel at 11 weeks, I think the safest bet is bring a friend, camp a good seat, and be just a little sad about not being in the pit. I use my arms A LOT in pits since I prefer the edges and shoving others. I was so caught up in the idea of protecting my new penis that I didn't even think about how hard it's gunna be on my arm. I am just ultimately unwilling to miss this show unless I'm fucking miserable. This is likely a once in a lifetime for me to see Amity Affliction play a full album run of Let the Ocean Take Me, esp with a Currents + Dying Wish open. I would be beyond bummed to miss that so I think sitting through it should be viable. Iunno, I'll be going back to work the previous week so unless my wounds explode It should be fine.
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missmungoe · 9 months
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I give you: The Navigator’s Map of Shanties for the Weary Voyager!
So my husband got the idea to make a timeline map of my Shanks x Makino series ("Shanties" for short), so that readers could better see how the different fics are connected, and while I should have been prepared, knowing full well how brilliant he is, I was not prepared for the end result. I mean look at it!!!
Some descriptions of key fics and planned updates below! The fics are listed in the recommended reading order on AO3, but feel free to chart your own course! Beware rogue whirlpools and dangerous straits, and remember that however dark and treacherous the sea, at the end of the voyage is always a safe harbour ♥
Hoist the colours! 🏴‍☠️
Heed the Siren’s Call // Shanks and Makino’s origin story, and the starting point of Shanties. Setting is pre-series to the timeskip.
Sailor's Folly // Siren's Call from Shanks' perspective. Includes the origins of Makino's sword, Siren.
Sea Songs // Sequel to Siren’s Call, set during the canon timeskip and after.
Scylla // Pirate!Makino AU, where Makino leaves East Blue with the Red-Hair Pirates at the start of One Piece.
Charybdis // Sea Songs AU, where Blackbeard destroys Fuschia and Makino goes on a trek across the Grand Line looking for Shanks, who thinks she's dead.
Mnemosyne // Kuja!Makino AU, where after Siren's Call, a pregnant Makino ends up on Amazon Lily.
Andromeda Unbound // Reverie Arc AU, where Makino, the Revolutionary Army, the Red-Hair Pirates, Straw-Hats and the Warlords join forces to crash Shanks’ execution.
On the Water // Pirate!Makino AU, where Makino and her child leave East Blue with the Red-Hair Pirates after the timeskip. Includes Shanks and Makino's floating bar, Siren's Call.
Salt Vows // Arrested!Makino AU, set during the current Egghead arc.
Tethered to Kinder Shores // Makino and the Red-Hair Pirates. Includes the origin of Makino's shanty, "Moored to Her Port".
Moon and Her Maiden // Selkie AU. Canon OP verse but Makino is a selkie.
Tideswept // Royal/Arranged Marriage AU.
Bind Me to the Tide // Soulmate AU, where soulmates feel each other's pain. Canon OP verse but with soulmates.
Love In Good Liquor // One-Shot collection set during the different Shanties verses.
Planned updates
This list is not comprehensive (meaning I have more fics that I plan to continue than the ones listed here), but it's the stories I'm focusing on right now:
Andromeda Unbound // Chapter 9/9 ✅ (Complete)
Bind Me to the Tide // Chapter 5/? ✅
Mnemosyne // Chapter 29/29 ✅ (Complete)
Salt Vows // Chapter 3/? ✅
Tideswept // Chapter 8/9
On the Water // Chapter 4/5
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olderthannetfic · 2 months
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Tbh I wish more people would use the PiV tag or boypussy or whatever when it comes to the M/M tag, when they give one of the characters a vagina. It's a squick I like to either avoid, or at least prepare for.
"But this shouldn't have come with a warning." Cool story, if someone gave a pre-op transmale character a penis, or a pre-op transwoman a vagina, tag that too. Or a genderbend a character they should also tag that. I just wanna know if you changed the character from what they're in canon.
--
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shuttershocky · 6 months
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i was wondering if you could give some general tips for is3? i have a decently developed account but i still cant manage to even get to the first boss every run, let alone beat it. like most runs in is2 i could at least beat Lucian but here i feel like im hitting a brick wall
I've prepared something special for this ask today.
We will be doing a full breakdown of a squad I've run with restrictions. It's a run I just completed as I'm typing this, so I can go over my thought process on both team building and path taking. I also won a run on my first try with the restrictions in place (in fact my IS3 winrate is actually much higher than my IS2 winrate at this point), so I'm fairly confident my strategies are sound. If the massive text scares you, don't worry. I'll also make a TL;DR version at the bottom.
My Three Restrictions:
Ch'en the Holungday, Gavial the Invincible, Mlynar, Kal'tsit, Texas the Omertosa, Pozyomka, Horn, Ling, Goldenglow, and Yato x Kirin are banned - This is a combination of both CN's usual ban list for IS3 competitions, as well as the latest ban list on Lungmen Dragon's latest IS3 competition for Global. This is to show that I don't need meta ops to win that proper teambuilding is what wins runs
Must be Wave 5 - This means the difficulty is low enough to still be considered "low level IS3", but high enough to have the +1 hope cost, +10 RES, and +15% ATK and DEF on all bosses
CANNOT pick People-Oriented Squad - This means I've got to deal with the big hope costs.
And here is my results screen
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Now I know what you're thinking. "What the fuck Shutters, your run got the -2 hope costs for 4 stars, AND for 5 stars, AND the 6 stars! Carried by RNG!" While it is fucking hilarious I got all three Hope cost reduction relics when I was trying to starve myself of hope, be assured I didn't get 6 stars - 2 Hope until late Floor 4 where it was hardly relevant. i'd actually rather have gotten combat relics since I still had Hope leftover by the ending.
Let's get into teambuilding and decision-making.
I started this run with 8 Hope (got the pre-run bonus for +2 starting Hope), which let me recruit one 6 star at the very start (I always go with As You Wish so I can get a 4 star for free). In this case, the random shuffle I got was a 4 star Defender voucher, a Vanguard voucher, and a supporter voucher. My starting squad was Gummy, Ines, and Orchid.
In both IS2 and IS3, a usual strategy is to have one core 6 star operator carry you through the early game until you grab more vouchers. Ines is an incredible starting core in this difficulty, since she sees through Invis, is a fast redeploy, is a vanguard, can block enemies, and has enough damage in S2 to get you through Symbiosis in the worst case scenario. I'm actually surprised she isn't considered ban-worthy.
Your biggest threats in the first two floors are Symbiosis, Sniper Squad (if emergency), and Malady. Always, ALWAYS try to have one operator capable of blocking enemies on the ground. If you get all ranged vouchers, bring someone with a summon such as Beeswax if Caster (or Amiya then change to Guard Amiya), an Artificer for Supporters, or Totter (to kill invis) or Rosmontis for Snipers. If you get Emergency Sniper Squad and have no way of blocking or killing invisible units, you autolose. Malady wants you to have either two melee blockers, or one melee with a medic and some ranged damage. Symbiosis is the biggest threat — One unit has to be able to block, and you need strong DPS to cut through the horde. There's no shame in losing to Symbiosis, you either got the operators you need, or you autolose, so I always make a starting team assuming I'm gonna get Symbiosis.
I got lucky with a medic voucher and got Pith (who is so damn good), and on my next defender voucher I got Spot instead of upgrading Gummy. This is because I wanted to get two sources of melee block-3 ASAP since I was lacking in AOE, and Spot is one of the best 3 stars in IS thanks to being Block-3, tanky, having a heal, and evasion. He's worth the 1 hope.
Once you get ground units and a heal, hopefully by Floor 2, you want to start preparing for Floors 3-5. In this case, I got a Sniper voucher and immediately got Kroos the Keen Glint. I consider Kroos the strongest Sniper in IS3 just behind Pozy herself, because she has two traits any IS3 team needs: a source of stun/bind/freeze, and strong anti-air. The Stun/Bind/Freeze counters two gimmick enemies, UFOs (I forgot their real names but you know which ones) and the hated Nethersea Predators from Stulifera Navis. Both enemy types get countered by crowd control.
So by early Floor 3, I had Ines (promoted), Kroos the Keen Glint, Pith (promoted), Spot, and Gummy. At that point I had pretty much everything I needed to make a run to Floor 5 (to reiterate: one fast redeploy, several ground operators, good anti-air, at least one source of stun that can also hit air units), so I began grabbing operators that synergized with my collectibles. Hand of Pulverization meant Rosmontis, uh, pulverized everything, Gnosis was a second source of crowd control in case I got unlucky with Kroos' stun crit RNG (protip: In IS, getting two different kinds of operators who have overlapping roles will carry you deeper into runs since it gives you leeway to make mistakes), and I got Firewatch for that mix of AOE burst damage, invis if need be, and for her incredibly high damage against ranged enemies.
I got two cursed relics on the way. - light per battle, and all operators start with -15 SP. I always try to pick a path with Fortuitous Opportunity since you can trade cursed relics for good ones. Luckily, I had two such nodes, one in Floor 3 and one in Floor 4.
If operators get cursed (which can indeed be instant losses if it's a bad curse very early on and on your core operator), I go for the node that lets you send units out for supplies, it removes curses and promotes operators. At Wave 5 or below you always start with 100 Light, so it's possible to avoid instant loss curses by playing well in Floors 1-2 and not losing any lives (so even if you roll a 1 you don't get cursed)
While you can start freestyling team building once you have your important roles all assembled, I personally like grabbing counters to Floor 4/5 stages that have the biggest chances of ending my run. For this run in particular, these are
Lin, for Out of Control - This stage is one of the most terrifying no matter how experienced in IS3 you are, simply from the sheer amount of Possessed and Bonethrowers coming at you. Lin hard counters this, since with her module active, Bonethrowers cannot break her shield, giving you a tank that doesn't need medics.
Franka for Ubi Bona Somnia - Those spear-zombies from originium dust have 2000 DEF and 80 RES (90 at Wave 5), Franka is there to kill the one that spawns in this stage specifically.
Pompeii (Territorial Tendencies) - I didn't need to grab a counter for in case I met Pompeii since I already had Firewatch and a hand-powered Rosmontis, but if I didn't, it's always a good idea to grab an anti-Pompeii unit like Jaye.
Then once I got to Highmore it was a simple matter of knocking down Highmore with Gnosis' freeze, pulverizing Phase 1 with Rosmontis S3, knocking down Highmore again with Gnosis, then killing Phase 2 with Ines. If you're aiming for Last Knight or Ishar-mla, your team needs will be different of course!
So! I hope that helped you understand how to think about approaching an IS3 run, but in case none of that made any sense and I wasted 3 hours writing this, here's a TL;DR
What do I generally need?
Floor 1
Ground units because you need to block
DPS to counter Symbiosis specifically
Heals
Floors 2-3
Strong Anti-air (IS3 has a lot of flying enemies)
One fast redeploy like Agent Vanguards or Executor Specialists (effective in a vast majority of stages in IS3)
At least one source of Stun/Bind/Freeze that can hit aerial units (to deal with UFOs and Highmore that need to be knocked down, Nethersea Predators so they stop fucking dodging)
You may realize that Texas the Omertosa has all 3 of these qualities. This is why she's considered an automatic ban in all IS3 tournaments
Floors 4-5
Specific counters to the stages that kick your ass the most
Specific boss counters if necessary
Specific operator combos with your collectibles (for example Cutter + Any spinach type collectible)
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britswriting · 7 months
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Quadrupled | Quadruple The Love H.S
Quadruple the love masterlist
read on wattpad
Unedited  - I'm tired 
"I'm bigger than the house we first bought together" I huffed, Harry helping me get into the hospital.
Today we were meeting our babies and I was scared out of my mind.
Normal pregnancies have forty weeks to worry. Forty weeks to figure out names, nursery, how you want to parent, what diapers you want you use, are you breast feeding or bottle feeding, cloth diapers or disposable diapers, co-sleeping, or strict crib rules.
I lost ten weeks of worrying.
Ten precious weeks that might've given me more answers than I knew now.
Not only have I been "in hiding" for months, keeping out of the limelight with my big ole belly — Harry and I agreeing for the safety of me and the kids; it was best for me to keep close with our families. We didn't want to tell the world that we're having quadruplets until they were already born, home and safe. 
The good lord knows that last thing we want to do is explain about some sort of horrific event we had to go through when we only announce we have one, or two, or three. 
I'm terrified.
"You look so beautiful, love" Harry smiled over at me; a nurse waiting at the door with a wheelchair. "We're about to be parents" 
"To four babies. We're doomed, Styles" I sighed, wishing I could focus more on the highs than the lows, but I couldn't help it.
Four babies is a lot. Even with help.
"Y/N Styles?" The nurse asked, my head nodding. "Take a seat, I'm sure your feet are killing you" She smiled, and I nodded, agreeing.
I carefully sat down and we were brought to the front desk for paperwork before being brought to our pre-op room.
"How does it feel to know this is the last time they're going to be inside of you?" Harry questioned, grabbing the hospital gown to help me change into.
"Strange" I answered honestly, my voice soft as I started to strip. I was covered in red stretch marks on my stomach, my back, my hips, my thighs, even my ass and boobs. These babies took a toll on my body in more ways than just physically. "I'm looking forward to the relief on my boobs and back" 
"I can't wait to meet them all" He sighed, a cute smile dancing on his lips.
I couldn't help but smile back up at him, "I know, me too. It's crazy to think what all can happen in just 30 weeks. They're going to be so tiny. You think they'll be okay, right? I mean, they're supposed to be in there for ten more weeks" I began to panic a little; something Harry was all too familiar with through this pregnancy.
"The Styles name lives on" He grinned, doing a little shimmy with his body, my eyes rolling as I giggled, turning around so he could tie the back.  "You ass look cute" he squeezed, my head shaking as I smiled.
We haven't had sex in months. I've given him more handjobs in the past few months then I did our entire dating relationship. I've been too tired, sore, or just downright uninterested. My sex drive has diminished completely.
Thankfully he still finds me attractive enough to get hard; I don't think I could mentally survive if I was trying to get him off and he simply couldn't do it. 
Your body changes a lot when you're pregnant, I knew that going in. However, I wasn't prepared for all the changes that would couple with having quadruplets. The size alone of my stomach was enough to make me already start planning a tummy tuck and an extra skin removal just to feel better about myself in the shower, or the mirror.
I knew I wasn't going to be skinny after having kids, and I was okay with that. I was prepared for that, yet the idea of so much extra skin once my stomach started losing it's after birth bump... mentally, I was dreading.
I'd be lying if I said it had nothing to do with being married to the Harry Styles.
It wasn't all of it, but it was a lot of it. 
I couldn't help but think about the pap pics, or the interviews, or the social media posts. People were mean even if you were the most beautiful person on the planet. Now I've got four babies and a thrown our figure. 
Harry and I had planned to do interviews after we announced their birth and that alone kept me up at night. How many pairs of spanks do I need to buy? Do I wear black? It hides you best.
"Alright love, look at you" Harry smiled, telling me to do a spin for him; chuckling when I carefully toddled on my feet in a circle. "Stunning! The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I love you so much, gorgeous. The babies have the prettiest, sweetest, most caring mumma ever" Harry wrapped his arms around me as best as he could, ending in me huffing, trying to push him away before he hugged me from the side, kissing me.  "We'll always make it work" He mumbled against my lips, kissing me again.
A knock at the door pulled us away, a few nurses coming in with charts, an IV and a blood bag.
Great.
With a urine sample off to the lab, I was settled in the hospital bed before they started my blood draw and IV drip, going over a few chart questions until the anesthesiologist and obgyn surgeon came in with consent forms.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, already dressed in scrubs.
"Nervous" I admitted, my leg uncontrollably shaking.
"Well, although it is my first time getting out four babies, it isn't not my first c-section, or my first time with multiples. My team and I are as prepared as we can be; all hands on deck, I promise" She smiled and I just nodded, wishing her reassurance eased me more than it actually did.
Getting shaved by someone other than yourself was an awkward experience I thoroughly wished to forget by the time I looked back at this moment ten years time. 
"Look babe, our babies are going to be in these" he pointed at the hospital bassinets, a smile on my lips as I watched him fawn over  it, "We're going to need three more" he chuckled, looking around at all of the baby things. "What's this?" he pointed at a station with a lamp above it.
"I think it's too keep the babies warm, I don't know for sure though" I hummed, eyeing the clock, awaiting for our surgical time.
Twenty minutes passed, Harry gloating about how he got to pee, instantly regretting it when he saw my face before we got rolled into the operating room.
Harry was held back to put on scrubs and do his antibacterial scrub whilst I got monitors placed on me, a catheter inserted, yay me, and my stomach cleaned before Harry showed up at my side, a grin on his face, "Here we go baby" he said, looking adorable as I stared up at him; the room crowded in all sorts of different people; four different baby stations set up, ready to start clearing their airways, cleaning them off and keeping them warm.
"Please let everything go away" I softly prayed, my eyes falling shut as the nerves begun to take over.
Please let my four babies all be okay. All be perfect, and healthy. 
Please let them all have good breathing, and hearts, and movements. 
Please keep my babies safe.
"We're going to be okay, Y/N. We've got the best medical staff. All these people are here, ready to help" He eased and I nodded, calling out, "None of you better post this on TikTok", knowing we had everyone sign legal forms even worse than just patient confidentiality 
Chuckles were heard around the room, I just hoped they knew I was serious.
I don't want my birth story our there before I get to tell it. 
With the drape up and the anesthesia administrated, the surgery begun.
I stared at the hospital ceiling, my heart knowingly racing — I could hear the nurses talking about it; Harry's hand finding mine as he crouched down next to me, his mouth brushing against my ear.
"Hi baby" He murmured, "You're doing so well. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I'm so thankful to call you mine. I'm so grateful you're our babies mother. That you're the person I get to do this with. You're going to be the best mum ever. The babies are going to love you so much. I just know it. I love you so much, you're doing so so so good. It's going so well, hear them? Hear them talk about how well it's going? We're going to meet our babies, Y/N. They're going to be the most perfect little humans we've ever seen. Our families are going to be enthralled with them. My mom's already on her way" he chuckled, kissing my cheek, my brain focusing on his voice, and let of the talk around me. "Little did we know when we first met, that you'd be in an operating room waiting to meet four of our children at once. Can you imagine telling our younger selves that? When the doctor said you couldn't have kids, that you'd be meeting four of your flesh and blood in just a few minutes? Just one easy peasy lemon squeezy producer later? I hope they have your beautiful smile, and colorful personality. I can't wait to watch you mother the hell out of them" he laughs softly, his thumb stroking my knuckles, "Watch them grow up with us. their first breath, their first bath, their first night home, their first laugh. Their first food and first time crawling or walking. Our entire life is starting all over again once we leave this hospital, baby; and I'm so lucky I get to do it all with you" 
"First baby's out!" I heard, my breath hitching, Harry's smile brightening as a sob escaped my lips.
"We're parents, Y/N. It's official" He kissed me, my chest shaking as I cried with pride, joy and fear.
"It's a boy! Time, 7:16pm" We heard, followed by a rush of people talking, movement heard; Harry and I holding our breath's until we heard the cry, a collective sigh of relief was heard around the room.
"I love you so much" Harry confessed, my brain too fried to reply as it was panicking with fear and excitement.
We're parents.
We have a baby.
Harry and I have a son.
A soft voice was heard behind Harry, Harry straightening up, our son coming into view.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, Harry being handed the baby, his eyes glistening under the bright white lights before they fell down his cheeks as he stared down at him, carefully holding our son to show me. 
"Look at his cheeks" Harry exhaled, both of our breaths taken away by the sight of our son.
"Second baby's out! It's a boy! Time 7:21pm" Was heard again, my body on the ultimate adrenaline high.
"He looks just like your newborn baby photos, your mom is going to be thrilled" I cried, smiling at my sun, wishing I could hold him; but he was taken away right when we heard the second cry.
Another breath of relief was heard, the team of doctors and nurses doing their tasks before the second baby was brought over, followed by a third  "Baby's out! It's a boy! Time, 7:24pm"
Everything was happening so quickly, I felt like I couldn't fully process the fact that three of my babies are now in the world.
I have triplets.
"You're a dad" I stated, it finally hitting that our dreams were coming true as Harry held our second son, his tiny little body not processing yet.
They were so small.
Three high pitched screams were heard around the room, my eyes falling shut as the noises flooded my brain, each wail, beep, and murmur being etched into my memories. 
"They're cleaning up the babies and getting them under heat lamps" Harry informed me, apparently he could see around us; whereas I'm stuck seeing the ceiling. "One has a getting checked with a stethoscope" 
"Please let them all be okay" I repeated quietly, awaiting the arrival of our baby girl.
"I'm so proud of you Y/N" Harry repeated, his hand brushing away my tears, "You're incredible, love"
The longer it took to hear the arrival of my daughter, the more concerned I got. 
I hated this. Lying here. Helpless. Just waiting. I can't do anything. I'm numbed, trapped on this table.
I can't reposition, I can't push, I can't pull.
I just have to lay here and wait; it was agonizing.
"Baby girl is out, time 7:32pm" 
I held my brain waiting for her cry, my hands shaky, Harry grabbing my left hand and squeezing.
With the quiet cry being drowned out over the boys wails, I felt uneasy.
"Why is she so quiet?" I asked, wanting to scoop them all up and protect them from anything that could be causing them torment.
"The boys could be louder?" Harry said, worry evident in his tone.
Upon further exam, we were informed that she was having difficulty breathing and would be given oxygen, supposedly from being crushed by her brothers.
My heart cracked at the idea of her being squished so much that she was struggling to breath.
Harry didn't even get to hold her before they were all whisked away to the NICU and my stitched up stomach was eventually rolled to the post op room.
I was so tired, my body shaking, but all I wanted was my kids.
I didn't get to have them laid on my chest, or to see them the very second they were born. As silly as it sounds, I felt robbed.
I didn't get to have the dream labor and delivery; and I know it sounds silly and life is unpredictable; but there was no skin to skin. No cut the umbilical cord. No immediate bonding.
Everything was extremely different than I dreamed of. It was to be expected due to having quadruplets, but that didn't change the fact that it felt disappointing.
I wanted the best for them, and they're already hooked up to god knows what sitting alone in a room without me. 
I'm already useless to them.
I sat in the recovery room alone, shaky, tired and sobbing as Harry left to go see the babies in the NICU; my body still numb as I just laid there, tears strolling down my face.
Harry and I were parents, which was a dream come true within itself, and I was incredibly thankful to have my four kids, but laying here, alone.. it just felt dehumanizing.
I was their mother. I was supposed to care, and protect them, to love them. Yet I'm stuck here, alone, just waiting for whenever I'm allowed to see them.
My boobs hurt, aching to feed my babies, and I already knew they'd be on formula due to their being four of them.
I hated feeling defeated.
Like I was already failing and they were just born.
Harry gets to parade around the hospital seeing his children whilst I just lay here, alone, without them.
All I got was a glimpse of my sons before all four were taken away and I was abandoned in this room.
My eyes burned from crying and tiredness, the exhaustion eventually taking over and my body lulling into a sleep.
I woke up to Harry sitting next to me in fresh clothes, cheeks red as he stared down at his phone, his thumb scrolling from right to left.
I just stared for a moment, his head lifting, our eyes meeting.
He looked tired.
"Hi" I whispered, my body still feeling like dried cement.
"Hi" He replied just as softly, shifting closer on his chair, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles.
"How are they?" I questioned, chewing my lower lip as my body ached.
"They're small. I have pictures; I just.. want to warn you, they're um.. they're.."
"They're what, Harry?" I rushed, ready to hop out of this bed no matter how much it hurt, to go find my children.
"They're hooked up to all kinds of stuff. They're so tiny, Y/N. They've got monitors.. and breathing tubes..; their diapers barely fit" He was starting to get choked up as he looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat before sniffling.
"They were born ten weeks early, Harry" I quietly reminded him, knowing I was brave enough to do all kinds of research of what to expect, but Harry wasn't.
He wanted to live in naive land, and just be excepted about their birth.
Harry showed me all the photos and videos he took; Harry's finger bigger than their palm.
Each photo you could see his anchor tattoo, and I swear his hand was bigger than their body.
I broke my heart to see my babies suffering, both of us sat here crying over pictures and videos when asked when I could see them, Harry telling me we had to wait for a nurse to bring me in a wheelchair.
I just wanted to hold them, but I knew from my researching I needed to be prepared for that not to happen.
All I could do was hope that one day all of this hurt, and pain, and worry, would just be a blimp of a memory as I watched them all laugh and play together; snuggling each one into their cozy beds and sending them off to school the next morning.
I knew to take one day a time, one hour even; but if I didn't think about the future, and just stayed in the present, I'd go crazy.
I had to cling onto hope. It was the only way I'd survive however long they were in the NICU for.
* * * * 
Their birth - part one :)
Next parts and Harry + Y/N in the NICU + bringing them home, meeting family etc and then announcing them to the world! 
I'm ngl, I still don't have names.. so we gotta figure that out too lol.
Written on: October 9th and 10th 2023
Published on: October 10th 2023
Word Count: 2997
tags: @ashleighsss @theekyliepage
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fefeman · 1 month
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Oban Star Racers review
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Yesterday I decided to watch Oban Star Racers, since it was a series I slept on when I was a kid and I heard a lot of good for it. So I binged the 26 episodes yesterday and today.
Overall verdict: FUCKING DOPE. 9/10
Very good series overall. It has a pretty unique art style (most notable on the humanoid characters) but it makes it work and uses it well to have pretty dynamic and expressive characters and gorgeous environments. And it's a very neatly written story, that finds the right balance between a sport fiction (racing), the overarching space opera/space fantasy narrative, and the interpersonal drama.
And the OP is pretty good and sells the color.
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The plot :
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(two ships preparing for the preliminary of the Oban Star Race)
In the future, humanity is set to participate in a racing competition between civilizations of the galaxy, where the winner will receive the "ultimate prize" from a sort of "god" of the galaxy. Eva, a young girl who wishes to be recognized by her father (both literally and figuratively), gets involved in this race when said father becomes the manager of the earth team... And it soon turns out the competition has way higher stakes than everyone believed.
The plot reminded me bit of Red Lines, albeit with far looser vehicle rules than it (one competitor rides a giant beetle... ONE COMPETITOR JUST FLY HIMSELF), although I don't think a more in-depth comparison is worthwhile. Ultimately they provide different experiences despite the similarities.
A more in-depth rating would be :
Story:
very well written with good dialogue. None of the 3 main storylines (racing, drama, mystery) feel underdeveloped compared to the other, and they all manage to fit right into place as the plot progresses. The only downside is some plot points could have been introduced earlier and in more detail, but this only concerns a few.
9/10
Characters:
The characters are colorful and interesting. The secondary cast have a lot of personality, with unique ship design that sometime really push the definition of "racing ship".
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(one of the secondary cat... I mean cast, Para-dice)
And the recurring cast isn't left behind. They are complex and nuanced, flawed people who sometimes make bad decisions, but always act in an understandable way. Sometimes their reasoning is more implied than explained, but it's not easy to miss it.
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(The short guy with black and white hair is Don Wei, the protagonist's father. The tall dude with his tits out and sunglasses is Rick Thunderbolt, a pilot for the earth team)
The only issues are that one character is developed and leaves the story way too quickly and that some are a bit too simple/one not. But it's a minority and it's probably to balance give more time to the interpersonal drama.
8/10
Art :
The art style surprises a bit, but you get used to it quickly. It makes for expressive characters, and it's stylization make the humans not feel boring compared to the many aliens.
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(you may have noticed they don't have noses)
There's also some clever use of 3D here and there, but it's well integrated so it doesn't feel too jarring. And the environment are fun to look at.
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(This isn't what you expect to see when you're told you're going for an interplanetary racing competition. But I really like this planet, Alwas)
8/10
Music:
The music is good guys. I put the OP above, but the ost is also great, both for actions and non-action scenes. I really like the preliminary planet's theme... it really sells the confusion of humans reaching a new world they've never seen before with a pre-fire spacefaring civilization (that uses caterpillar-powered engines).
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And Prince Aikka's theme is also cool.
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Anyway, for the music, I was gonna give it a 8/10, but now that I listened to them again for this review, I realize they do carry a lot of making this experience pleasant. So
9/10
Worldbuilding:
That's a very important factor if you make Sci-fan, so I thought it was good to make it a category. Oban's setting succeed in the two key point I look for in a fictional universe: It makes its own sauce, and it looks alive.
Not everything in the setting is unique, but it offers some fresh concepts or visual identity make the inspiration turn. Like, I really enjoyed Ceres' ship being an amalgam of tubes that shouldn't fly, and that he rode standing on it rather than in a cockpit.
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or spirit weird anatomy that looks like an unraveled humanoid
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Or hell, Oban (the planet) itself functions in a way I haven't seen yet in sci-fi. that's what I mean by "make its own sauce". I can look at some elements of it and say "Wow, you don't see that every day" and get a rush of inspiration from the new flavor.
As for the "looks alive" part, by that I meant that the series gives the impression if I put the camera away from the main plot, there still would be interesting things to see. We know a lot is going on offscreen. We only see one of the 3 preliminaries... that's a lot of teams we haven't met... And even with the one we met, there's political intrigue in their homeworld, tragedies they wish to repair, etc... It's a universe where you feel you could always find something new to look at.
10/10
So, once again
OVERALL RATING: 9/10
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sevcasejay1chicago · 1 year
Text
Surgery- Jay Halstead/ Matt Casey/ Kelly Severide
Summary: Your boys before and after you have a diagnostic procedure. You have anxiety, but you have the best support system.
Mentions: Maggie Lockwood, April Sexton, Wallace Boden, and Crocket
Warnings: nausea, talk of needles, basically an anxiety attack
—————————
In order for you to have someone with you at all times for the few days after your diagnostic laparoscopic procedure, Matt was working on shift today, but Kelly and Jay were by your side. Jay had managed to get two days off to be with you on the day of your surgery and the day after, and Kelly had managed to get this shift off.
Though you knew lots of the doctors and nurses at Med, you were extremely nervous. Maggie promised to be with you through pre-op, Dr. Marcel had convinced Nat to allow him to do the procedure rather than an OB, and April was going to be your post op nurse. Kelly and Jay were going to be with you when you woke up, knowing that you panic when coming out of anesthesia, so everything seemed to be planned out perfectly. Your nerves were just giving you a really hard time.
———pre-op———
“I don’t want to do this.” You said, practically pleading with Kelly and Jay. “Please. I’ll do more tests and even do blood work, but I don’t want to do this.” you had tears streaming down your face as Maggie walked around getting you all prepped while your boys tried to comfort you.
Jay was stood next to your head and Kelly was sat next to you on the bed. Both boys were on the same side so that Maggie had room to work. Jay had a hand massaging the back of your neck as Kelly held the hand that Maggie wasn’t preparing to put an Iv in.
“Baby. It’s gonna be okay.” Kelly said, locking eyes with you. “You’ll be asleep before you know it and then we will be right there with you again. Then we can go home and call Matt. He might even have some time to come see you for a few minutes.” Kelly tried to reason with you, but you shook your head and turned to Jay instead.
Jay’s eyes were showing slight amusement but mostly sympathy. All three of you had masks on, so you had to read his eyes. “Sweetheart.” Jay sighed, shaking his head. “You know I don’t like needles or hospitals any more than you do, but this is going to help you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.” Jay said, leaning down and pulling off his mask long enough to place a kiss on your forehead.
“I’m gonna numb your hand. Quick poke.” Maggie spoke up, already inserting the needle. The boys shushed you as Kelly cradled your face and wiped the tears that began to spill anew. “All done. Just let it get numb and then I’ll insert the Iv. You won’t even know it happened.” Maggie said, rubbing your arm.
The boys watched as your face grew pale and glanced at each other. You had your eyes closed as you focused on trying to take deep breaths. You didn’t say anything until the IV was in place. “Feel sick.” You muttered, just loud enough for the boys to hear you.
“Mags. She’s not doing so hot.” Kelly said, catching the charge nurse’s attention.
Maggie whipped her head in your direction and started giving out orders. “Deep breaths Y/n.” Maggie soothed, jogging to the Iv cart. “Jay, pull down her mask for me.” Maggie grabbed an alcohol cloth and tore the packet open as Jay pulled down your mask. “Sniff this. I know it’s weird but trust me.” Maggie said, holding the packet to your nose.
You looked at her strangely before sniffing the swab. It was odd and a first for you. Maggie coached you through a few more breaths before she pulled back. “Better?” Kelly asked, rubbing your hand. The color had began to return to your face at this point.
“Yeah.” You said with a slow nod. “Still a tiny bit nauseous but definitely better.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, nuzzling into Jay’s hand that had found its way to your forehead where his thumb was rubbing soothingly against your hairline.
“Let me call Dr. Marcel and let him know that happened. You also get very nauseous and anxious coming out of anesthesia, right?” Maggie asked as she walked to the door and began typing on her handheld.
“Yeah. That’s what my mom says anyways. I was super little when I had my only other surgery, so I honestly don’t remember.” You said, shrugging slightly.
“Well, let me go get you a patch that Crockett normally recommends his patients in your predicament, and I’ll be back to put it on just before you go into surgery, okay?” Maggie said, smiling at you and your lovers.
You nodded and smiled back before pulling your mask back up. Your boys said an audible thank you as you all settled in to wait your turn.
———skip procedure to recovery———
As I slowly started to regain consciousness, I felt a weight in both my hands. I grunted and tried to move only to be unable to do so. It sent me in a panic and my eyes flew open as I gasped in a huge breath. I could hear the heart monitor beeping loudly as chairs squeaked and both my boys started talking to me.
“Shhhh shh. It’s alright. Breathe.” Jay said, leaning over and pressing the call button next to me. The room was small, just cut off by a curtain for privacy.
“April!” Kelly said loudly, stepping back a bit away from me to not startle me more, but looking for our friend.
The curtain swung open as April shuffled in, coming to mute the monitor that was next to Kelly. “Do you want me to push some anxiety meds?” April asked Kelly as he was the closest to her at the moment.
Kelly shook his head and turned to you, rubbing a hand through your hair. “Give us a second. Let her get her bearings.” Kelly didn’t want to disorient you further, so he knew that he and Jay had to calm you down soon.
Jay wiped the tears that were falling down your face as Kelly spoke to April. Jay kept up his comforting words and soon had your full attention. “Hey sweetheart. It’s alright. We’ve got you. It went well. You with me?” Jay asked, locking eyes with you.
You nodded slowly, reaching for him. Jay allowed you to pull him closer and kissed you softly on the nose before connecting your foreheads. “Home?” You whispered, breathing in time with Jay as Kelly soothed your hair down and held your hand.
“Soon.” Jay whispered, kissing your lips softly. “Think you can drink something for me?” Jay asked, pulling back to examine your face.
“Sprite?” You muttered, turning to look at Kelly and April.
April smiled and nodded her head. “I’ll go grab that really quick. You guys good?” April asked, giving Kelly and Jay a quick look. Both boys nodded and April took off.
“Call Matty?” You whispered, looking between your two boys.
Kelly smiled softly as Jay smirked. “Of course baby girl.” Kelly whispered, kissing your forehead. He pulled his phone out and dialed Matt, talking to him for a very brief moment. “Someone wants to talk to you Case.” Kelly said, drowning in your puppy dog eyes.
You smiled and took the phone. “Matty?” You whispered, giving a water smile at the sound of his voice.
“Hey princess. How are you feeling?” Matt asked, pacing his office.
Tears slid down your face as you croaked out your answer. “‘M okay. Miss you.” You sniffed, looking down at the blanket in your lap and picking at a piece of fluff on it.
Matt sighed and scrubbed his face. “Baby. I know. I miss you. When you’re all settled and I get some time, I’ll swing by with the truck and come snuggle you for a few minutes. Sound good?” Matt asked, trying to bargain with you. He hated when you cried and he knew this was hard on you.
You nodded, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “M‘Kay.” You muttered. “Be safe.” You said, needing to end the conversation before you full out sobbed.
“I always am Angel. Let me talk to Kelly, okay? I love you.” Matt said, stopping his pacing as he caught the picture of the four of you on his desk. It really pained him not to be there, but he knew you would need him in a couple days, so this was something he was willing to do in order for you to get the care you would need.
“Love you.” You whispered before handing the phone back to Kelly.
Kelly smiled and walked a few steps away as he spoke to Matt. Jay leaned down and kissed your head and wiped more tears from your face. April returned as Jay had finally got you settled against him. It took some slow adjusting, but you managed to convince Jay to sit in the bed with you and hold you. He was desperate to calm you down, so he complied once he made sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt you.
April smiled at the sight of the couple. It was rare to see any of the four alone with just a certain part of the couple. You all liked to stick together, all being better as one, but the sight in front of April was heartwarming. You were curled into Jay’s side as he quietly shushed you and fiddled with the blankets as he attempted to warm you back up and sooth you. Kelly was off in the corner, speaking quietly on the phone with his back to his lovers, missing the exchange but focusing on convincing Matt that you would be fine.
“Hey sweetie. Drink this and if you can keep it down, these knuckleheads can take you home.” April said, handing the small sprite to Jay for him to hold.
You carefully took the straw in between your lips and took a few cautious sips. Jay pulled back when you stopped for a second, worried about you immediately rejecting the beverage, but sighed in relief when you smiled and took the straw back, slowly drinking your favorite drink. April waited until you were done and took the can as Kelly walked back over.
“Getting cuddles already I see.” Kelly teased lightly, coming and kissing your head and then Jay’s forehead.
“Yep. Hate to see our girl cry. Had to do something.” Jay said, turning and kissing your cheek. “She just finished a sprite. If it stays down, we can go home.” Jay filled in Kelly as you snuggled deeper into his side.
Kelly nodded and looked to April. “Can we get her dressed?” He knew you felt extremely exposed under just a hospital gown and blanket. You had made that clear while you were in pre-op. He was desperate to get you comfortable.
April smiled and nodded. “Of course. There is a bandage on the incision site. She’s gonna be sore for a couple days. Just go slow, okay?” April coached, handing Kelly your bag.
“Of course.” Kelly confirmed with a nod.
“I’ll be back in a bit. Just holler if you need anything.” April said, smiling at you before she left, shutting the curtain behind her.
Jay held back a laugh as you immediately tugged at the gown, pulling it off yourself. You were in nothing but underwear, which Jay and Kelly had slipped on you when you came into post op. Kelly smirked and shook his head as he pulled out Jay’s Army hoodie and handed it to its owner to be put on you. Though, if everyone were honest, the sweatshirt now belonged to you. After Jay carefully pulled the hoodie onto your form, Kelly shimmied a pair of Matt’s CFD sweatpants onto your body before he covered your feet with your favorite fluffy socks.
Kelly stepped back and admired his work as you snuggled back into Jay’s side. You had the most content look on your face as Jay brushed the flyaways back. “Comfy?” Kelly asked, a hint of humor in his voice.
You smiled, kissing Jay’s chest. “Very.” You nodded, closing your eyes. “Home now?” You asked, not bothering to look at either of your boys.
Kelly and Jay both chuckled. “Let me go ask April.” Kelly said, leaning over to kiss your cheek before leaving.
“I love you. You are so brave.” Jay said, kissing your forehead and then your nose.
“Only cause you both make me feel safe.” You said, opening your eyes as Jay searched for yours. You fell in love with Jay’s eyes. They always told the truth and looked at you with such adoration. You were his sun. The boys were his stars, but you were the center of his universe.
“I told you we would never let anything bad happen to you sunshine.” Jay said, smiling brightly at you.
You began to answer when Kelly walked in. “Alright! April said we are good to go. Now, it’s hospital policy to be wheeled out in a wheelchair, but I figured you would rather be carried.” Kelly said, smiling as you nodded enthusiastically and threw yours arms up with little grabby hands.
Kelly and Jay laughed at your response. Jay helped you make quick work of getting in a position to where Kelly could grab you up. Though he was quick, both boys made sure to be extra careful with you. You waved to April over Kelly’s shoulder as Jay led the way out of the hospital and back out to the truck.
~~~~~ back home~~~~
Once Jay pulled into the driveway, Kelly gently unbuckled the two of you and pulled your sleeping body into his arms once again. Jay opened the door and led you both into the house. You remained mostly asleep until Kelly sat you down into a familiar set of arms.
You practically jumped up, tears immediately slipping down your face. “Matty?!” You screeched, shoving your face into his neck as you sobbed and held onto him as tightly as possible.
Matt chuckled as he cradled your head and rubbed your back. “Hey princess.” Matt whispered, kissing the side of your head. “Shhhh. It’s alright baby. I’m here now.” Matt shushed, rocking slightly to help sooth your sobbing form. The drugs were making you overly tired so you were overly emotional.
“Glad you could come home.” Kelly said, leaning down to kiss Matt before backing away and letting Jay do the same.
“I was a mess. I couldn’t stand her crying.” Matt said, looking between Kelly and Jay with a questioning look. “What’s got her so worked up?” Matt asked his best guys.
“It’s the meds. She’s been teary eyed since she woke up.” Jay said, walking into the kitchen to get you some food and some Gatorade.
“She needs to eat and then she can sleep.” Kelly said, grabbing a few tissues out of the box and sitting down next to you and Matt. “Baby. You gotta slow down.” Kelly said, rubbing your side.
Matt kissed your head again and pulled back slightly. “Baby girl. Let me see your beautiful face.” Matt whispered.
You pulled back slowly and looked to Matt and then Kelly. Kelly reached up to wipe your face before holding the tissues to your nose. “Blow.” Kelly instructed, and you did, but followed it with a whine. “What is it baby?” Kelly asked.
“Hurts.” You mumbled, putting your hand on your stomach.
“I know princess. I know.” Matt said, rubbing your back. “But Jay has some food here and something to drink. Think you can manage something and then we can see about taking something before we nap?” Matt asked, putting his hand on the side of your face as a stray tear escaped.
You nodded, sniffing as you allowed Matt and Kelly to adjust you to sit between them on the couch. You smiled as you saw Jay, who was balancing a tray with your favorite food, your favorite flavor of Gatorade, and a slew of medications.
“Dinner is served.” Jay said in his best fake French accent. Everyone burst out laughing as Jay laid the tray in your lap. “Need anything else while I’m up?” Jay asked you, leaning down to kiss your forehead.
You shook your head and dug into your meal, starving after not eating all day. You were more than content. You had all your men and your favorites in front of you. Even with the discomfort you were feeling, your soul was happy.
Jay smiled and nodded before settling on Matt’s other side. “Glad you’re here. Her crying for you broke my heart.” Jay said, snuggling into Matt’s side.
Matt smiled and kissed Jay on the top of the head. “Broke me too. Kelly tried to convince me that she would be fine, but I couldn’t focus so Chief sent me home.” Matt said, running a hand up and down your back.
You leaned into Matt’s touch with a sigh. You were exhausted and in pain, but you were so glad that you had your boys.
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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month
Text
When i was almost entierly friendless and lost in myself,lesbians and trans women gave me their friendship in the form of kind words,support,defending me,making things for me they knew i'd love,fun hangouts and did and have done nothing but make me love myself in my transmasculine and nonbinary/bigender girlhood even when i don't know them and are the type of woman i relate the most to like i do my fellow black women and i'm now dating a trans woman who was my best friend for a long time and stuck by me through stick and thin and i love them-they are pre op and e and have specifically asked for they/them until they can start their transition-with my entire heart,soul and life because they were exactly the person,the kinda girl i could've used in my life as a bullied autistic tomboy that was getting fucked up without even knowing it and i deeply admire my lesbian friends femme and butch alike for their amazing gender expression and how beautiful their love is and they've said the same about me
Lesbians and transfems are not hateful.They're wonderful people who're full of so much love and just because with the exception of my girlfriend that love's not romantic that dosen't make it any less valuable and you 'interfighting is stupid,we're supposed to be having t4t sex!!!' niggas need to lower your borderning on sexual harrassing voices because you sound like creepy douchebags and like conservatives too when you rag on 'f*mboys',a tma slur to begin with,for being too feminine and kiddy and cringe or whatever rethoric you haven't unlearned.If a lesbian or a trans girl dosen't like you,there's a very high chance you did something to provoke them or him or her or xem or [insert the neopronoun that will piss you off the most here]and you might've done it on purpose.The patriarchy dosen't stop at cishets and it's worth noting that pretty much all my trans guy friends are somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum.Don't be talkin' bout lesbians and tgirls being too harsh on men and having 'male experiences to analyze' at all actually,because you're implying a lot that never applies
If you want to be as much of a man as cis men,then you be prepared for the fact that you're as capable as misogyny as them,ESPECIALLY if you're cis passing and i never will be because i'm so femme presenting and naturally adrogynous looking thanks to being black/white that i find my looks perfect for my gender and i'm still a man just as i am a woman.Lesbians don't have fuck men to be 'real allies' and you can't make them the bad guy for not wanting men if you get to the good guy for not wanting to be near girlhood at all and unless they wish to be identified as such by multigenderhood or another factor,trans women have every right to not want to be lumped in with men or lack of gender at all.Intersectionality is very important.In all aspects.Not just when it might benefit you.Be serious just silly goofy little guys,you haven't been funny since you started that shit and i'm going to strap you to a Looney Tunes car unless you stop telling lesbians to stop defining themselves by not loving men and bullying tgirls for loving being girls.Those are my best friends and my girlfriend and my friends' friends you're harrasing you ungrateful cunts
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r0b1ns · 2 years
Text
STRANGER THINGS X MALE TRANS READER
OLDER TEENS
TRANS READER ON THE BEACH WITH THEM
Note: in honor of my first time on the beach after coming out to my parents
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, Argyle, Chrissy Cunningham
CW: mention of body shaming, pre op trans reader, insecurities, one or two curse words
WORD COUNT: 600+
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
STEVE HARRINGTON
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-he doesn't understand why you're insecure or worried
-he thinks you look good
-and if people are looking at you
-he shooshs them away
-and says they're jealous you have such a hot boyfriend as him
-he likes to tan
-likes to be in the water but not too deep cause it ruins his hair
-he doesn't really understand the concept of being trans and tells you to just go shirtless (if you aren't already)
-you can't blame him
-he's just a little oblivious
EDDIE MUNSON
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-i think he's a little insecure himself
-so he kinda understands you
-but not really, he knows it's not the same
-if someone looks at you funny he makes a weird pose or trips on purpose to take their attention off of you
-he forces you to piggy back him
-if you fall he waits for you to get up and hops back on you
-he likes to play beach games
-ping pong or beach tennis (is it the same thing)
-he's childish
-so he's always splashing water on you and jumps on you
-he's also a bad swimmer
-so you'll have to either teach him or pull him out of the water
-if you're a bad swimmer too, prepare to chaos
-you'll have to drag uncle Wayne with you
NANCY WHEELER
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-she's kinda mean
-she says you shouldn't care what others think of you
-but she says it in a harsh way
-she apologies when she sees she hurt you
-she barley goes into the water
-she mostly likes to tan or read
-you two like to look at other people and pretend to read their lips
-if you throw sand at her she tells you to stop
-when you don't, she smirks and starts a send war
-its one of the only times you see her almost fully relaxed
JONATHAN BYERS
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he's really anxious himself
-you'll have to convince him to take off his shirt
-he does it only if you do it too
-in your binder or not it doesn't matter
-if you don't want to, he'll stay in his shirt
-doesn't want to go to the water without you
-you splash water at each other
-when he's tired of the water he's photographing everything
-has a hundred picture of the sea shells
-and a thousand of you
ARGYLE
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-argyle LOVES the beach
-he doesn't go there often
-he has a job after all
-but when he has free time it's one of his favorite places to hang out
-he has a secret spot where you can smoke weed
-(only if you smoke too)
-he likes to dig up sand
-and make small weird sculptures
-especially weird when he's high
-likes to jump into the water
-most of the times there's no problem for you regarding people
-as I said he has a private spot
-but if someone does bother you he starts shouting something
-it usually scares people off
-you like to lay on the sand (towel under argyle's head) and be silent once in your life
CHRISSY CUNNINGHAM
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-chrissy really likes the beach
-but she's insecure
-her mother always told her she needs to lose weight and all this bullshit
-so she feels awful when you tell her you're insecure too
-so you both decide to not talk about it and just enjoy
-it really helps
-its the first time she had so much fun I years
-she likes to sit on your shoulders while you're in the water
-also she really likes the waves
-even when the water gets in her eyes
-she doesn't really like to tan
-so you're mostly in the water
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
!gifs are not mine!
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Lee says:
TransBucket has been an invaluable resource for me throughout my medical transition.
I would spend hours on the site looking at photos that I’d already seen because it helped me prepare for my own medical transition and it helped me feel like what I wanted was a possibility.
Seeing the ‘before and after’ photos from other trans people who had gotten top surgery and phalloplasty gave me so much hope at a time when I was really struggling with dysphoria and depression.
I’m someone who has benefited in ways that I can’t even fully express from the post-op community’s generosity. I don’t know if I would have the life that I have now without it.
After I had my top surgery and hysterectomy, I chose to upload my photos to TransBucket to give back to the community (in a small way) and help others as I had been helped.
This is largely why I hesitated in sharing photos of vulnerable moments depicting surgical healing, although I ultimately did upload several photos showing the early weeks and months of recovery.
I didn’t upload any photos after I had fully healed and gotten tattoos to hide my surgery scars because I was worried about my privacy, which is something I still struggle with, and I ultimately decided to not upload photos of my genitals after phalloplasty for the same reason.
While I always knew TransBucket was publicly accessible, the mention of the site in the news made me reconsider whether I wanted to continue having my images hosted there.
The site being down for the past couple of months has given me some pause, but today, 5+ years after getting top surgery and making my first TransBucket submission, I have gone back and deleted some (but not all) of my post-top surgery and post-hysterectomy images.
I’m still considering what the best way is for me to protect myself from transphobic cisgender people who might use my images in ways that are incompatible with my views and how I feel about my body, and also protect myself from some of the hate coming from within the community as many of the most hurtful comments about about post-op bodies like mine are often made by pre-op and non-op trans people.
I became a mod on this blog when I had just turned 16 and I had top surgery at 18. I shared things online that I probably wouldn’t have shared if I had been if I had become a mod at my current age in my early 20’s, but the internet is forever and I can’t take it all back, even if my feelings on my online privacy have changed.
I would like to encourage our followers to take a moment and reevaluate their internet privacy as well, and think about what things they’re comfortable with sharing going forward.
I’m not saying that you should delete your images from TransBucket specifically— I might even end up reuploading mine there at some point, with some redactions for privacy. But you should think about what photos you are okay with sharing online a lot longer and harder than I did.
All that said, I’d like to circle back to my original point— that TransBucket has been an incredible resource for me (and many others) and it continues to be one of the first things that I recommend to anyone who is considering gender-affirming surgery (and is not a minor in the jurisdiction in which they reside as the site hosts images of genitals and it is against the terms of service for minors to join).
I would like to thank the admin of @transbucket for all the work they’ve done, and encourage our followers to assist them if they are able to:
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lorirwritesfanfic · 6 months
Text
A Ballad To No One
Book: The Royal Romance Character: Hana Lee Rating: G Word count: 670 Reading time: ~1min Summary: Hana carries a secret she isn't willing to share with just anyone. Based on the prompt: @choicesnovchallenge: Music/Musicians Day
Author’s notes:
Hana Lee belongs to Pixelberry Studios;
I was supposed to post this during @hanaleeappreciationweek, but my muse wasn't cooperating at the time;
I'm picturing Hana in this oneshot as a child/pre-teen, before the ball she rebelled against her parents playing a song out of key on purpose.
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Hands glided on the piano keys as Hana once again tried to follow the fast paced notes of Chopin's Étude Op. 10 No. 4. At this point, she didn't even know how many times she had repeated that tricky bar in which she missed the tempo. Or how long she had been practicing that same piece since her classes ended. Her mother would host a party in two days and for some reason she couldn't fathom, her mother insisted Hana should play Étude Op. 10 No. 4. Of all Chopin's etudes, why did she choose the hardest one?
As her ring finger slipped, hitting the wrong key, she frowned. Taking a deep breath, she looked back at the sheet music, hummed the bar one more time at a slower pace, then began to play again. As she got it right, she tried again, but faster. Then a little faster. Faster! Faster! Faster! Before she could avoid it, the wrong note echoed in the room, making a strange, dissonant sound.
Huffing in frustration, Hana placed both hands on her legs and took a deep breath. If it was up to her, she could tear that stupid sheet music and never play that piece again. She didn't even like that piece. But she couldn't say no and walk out of the room. Whenever her parents told her to do something, there was no time for questions, scowls or long faces. She did as she was told and that was it. But just because she didn't protest it didn't mean she was happy to obey.
Why so many etiquette lessons? Why did she have to take such strange classes completely unrelated to one another? 'It'll prepare you for courtly life', her mother used to say. But what was the use of preparing herself to live somewhere she didn't even know, for a life she didn't choose?
Hana shook her head, as if to shake away those thoughts and looked back at the sheet music again. Tapping her right foot on the floor, Hana studied the tempo once more and played it slower again. 
"Such a dull piece..." She thought to herself. It didn't have a nice melody. it wasn't fun to play... Did anyone ever feel anyone except anxiety while playing this? Did anyone who play it had any other intention to play it except show off how skilled they were at the piano? 
Playing the piano shouldn't make her feel like this... Is music a form of art? Isn't it a form of expression for the author of the piece? Shouldn't the performer feel something about it?
Hana then stopped playing and closed Chopin's songbook. There was no point in playing it. Looking down at the piano keys, the young girl tried to remember the last time she felt something while playing the piano. It wasn't during any of the parties hosted by her parents. Nor during recitals. She always felt uncomfortable while playing for an audience.
As her fingers ambled on the piano keys again, following the chromatic scale, memories of her first piano classes flooded her mind. How exciting it felt to play for the first time, the warm ups, learning music theory, the first piece she ever played, the first song she wrote... 
Once she played the key she failed so many times, it sparkled something within her. She then played a chord that sounded nice with the note, creating an harmonic sound. Hana continued to play without any sheet music, occasionally writing the sequence of notes and chords in her notebook. 
Before her, an original piece came to life. Quite a surprise, given how rare inspiration struck. As Hana played the song once again, she pictured someone dancing, gracefully following the rhythm. She couldn't see their face, but something told her they were smiling. 
As the song came to an end, a sense of yearning spread in her chest. Composing this piece was quite fulfilling, yet she couldn't help but wish she could've seen that someone's face. Perhaps they would like to dance while she played. Carrying her notebook, Hana closed the piano lid and stood up to leave the music room. For now, no one would know about it. But hopefully, someday she would meet someone who would dance to her song.
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prpfs · 6 months
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🩸🕊️ hello! i am a 21+ writer looking for other 21+ writers to write fandomless ocxoc multi-para mxm on discord with my messy, toxic, drug addict muse. he's very intense: he's hot and cold, obsessive and unyielding, impassioned and demanding. he's irrational and tumultuous and crashes on people's couches and probably hasn't showered for a week. any relationship with him will have high highs and low lows and nothing normal in between—unless we decide we want to fix 'em.
looking for active and long-term partners who are heavily into plotting and worldbuilding—send me paragraphs of your thoughts, don't be shy!—and like to write with and against strange and unconventional characters. my muse is dear to me and i would love to write him against a character as complex, intense, and frankly awful as him. i love to delve deep into the world of our characters and craft a plot that fits them rather than the other way around. due to this, i only write against pre-created muses.
open to discussing other dark themes, but drug addiction and toxic relationships will be involved. please like and i'll reach out—please be prepared to let me know what interested you about my ad and what muse(s) of yours you were hoping to write.
like if you're interested and op will get back to you
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transmonstera · 1 year
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ill be packing orders this weekend and preparing for my pre-op appointment on wednesday so if you wanna treat yourself to something with monday shipping! check out my stuff! there's still a 10% sale on a huge selection of older stickers, badges, and all of my digital zines! <3
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carrionkid · 2 days
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Btw this time I remembered actually getting moved into the OR and having my pre op rundown with my surgeon (did not remember anything after the preparation room at all last time) and she was playing lights by journey and then Danny's song by Loggins and Messina before I passed out LMFAO and I kept trying to answer whenever she was going down the list for the team to approve on her plan of action and she was like oh I know you've got him on some good drugs he's usually so shy
She also told me "you're the only person I've worked on who actually fits all the way on these tiny fucking tables" LMFAO
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pendragon-writes · 1 year
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CW Flash Dating M!Reader HC
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Let's start with before you two started dating.
Okay now depending on how you two met is how interactions may go.
If you were perhaps a barista at his favorite coffee shop he may or may not drop by more often than normal just to see you.
Don't be surprised if he becomes a regular lol.
After some time, he'll try his best to drop hints, but they don't seem like hints until he straight-up asks you out.
If you work at the same police department then oh boy.
Depending on your position he’ll either talk your ear off before realizing and apologizing,
Or asking what cases you have and if he can help in any way.
If you met him as a fellow crime fighter, well if you've been one longer than him he would have a fanboy moment, and honestly probably if you were one around when he started as well.
Okay, I went on long enough with pre-dating, I'll actually get started on what you came for now lol.
To me, he honestly seems like a big fan of PDA, not too much where it's awkward but something that feels reassuring.
Also the type to plant kisses on your forehead on his way out.
If you're both vigilantes he most likely did it when you were both in costume out of habit and caught the entire media's attention.
Have fun dealing with that...
The type to forget something really important and would have it on a calendar, so like anniversaries are labeled with red hearts and dates are labeled with yellow ones.
Knows your coffee/tea order by heart. (Or whatever drink you like).
When he isn't busy with hero work or his actual jobs he'd set up a movie or your favorite multiplayer game and the two of you will just have a stay-at-home date.
A bit overprotective if you're also a vigilante but not overbearing with it.
He is the golden retriever boyfriend, and you can fight me on this lol.
If you also have golden retriever energy the rooms literally shine when you two are together.
If you're the cat to his golden retriever then you two are a very interesting dynamic that's for sure.
For my fellow Trans Guys/Trans Masc
If you're on T and take shots he would gladly help you take it.
If you're not on T or anything of the sort he would still see you as a man, after all, taking T doesn't make you any less of a man.
If you bind he'd make sure you don't overdo it.
If you're post-op and have scars he would ask if he could lightly trace them, not for sexual reasons but just because he admires them.
If you just got top/bottom surgery (Not required to be a man but for those who have or want to I'm adding these) he'll force you to stay in bed and would ask the others for soup recipes.
Just be prepared to have too much soup on your hands.
Unfortunately, that's all I have for now but I might add more to it in the future.
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d34d6eat · 8 months
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SLASHER OP MEN HCS!!!
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Smoker, Doflamingo, & Law !!!
TW: violence, death, semi-graphic descriptions of violence, just slasher stuff
MDNI, 18+
All of this was off the top of my head for these specific characters so sorry if it sucks lol!!
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SMOKER
-definitely one to plan but not compulsively
- stalks his selected victims, however he swiftly takes out ones that interfere with whatever plans he has curated
- a possible motive would be revenge, Smoker has a sense of justice for his reasoning
- he wouldn't just off a little old lady who bumps into him or some kid who steps on his shoe
- very brutal when it comes to his methods, blunt force with either his fists or jitte
- he tends to clean up his messes but when he wants to send a message he just leaves the scene as it is
DOFLAMINGO
- Doffy chooses his victims at random but preferably weak people that would be be easily intimidated
- enjoys cornering people in alleyways, making them cower under his towering frame, his shadow casting over them
- he is undoubtedly strong enough to just grip them by the throat and lift them off their feet
- MIND GAMES MIND GAMES MIND GAMES!! Doflamingo LOVES a chase because he knows they won't be able to escape the fate he has placed upon them. after giving a victim, usually one he finds attractive, a head start to run away, he slowly trails behind them only to ambush them when they think they got away
- he loves when a victim is afraid to the point of begging with tears down their face
- swift with the kill itself, doesn't want to draw out their death
- Doffy doesn't bother to clean up, he finds a thrill in knowing that someone will find the mess he made
LAW
- being the surgeon he is, Law has got to go all out demented doctor! im talkin dissection and rearrangement, some Tusk or Hannibal type shit.... body horror
- also chooses victims at a random, usually male, someone he thinks would make an interesting medical subject
- he does pre-op preparation like any other routine surgery of his, except with heavy restraints and absolutely no anesthesia (topical or otherwise)
- plays classical music during the "procedure". he revels in the combination of the music and their screams, literal music to his ears.
- Law likes to see how long they last before giving in to the immense pain he inflicts upon them
- loves his bone saw to death (get the pun). Law finds the process of detaching and reattaching limbs so interesting!
- after the fun he meticulously cleans his private operating suite, and discards of his wonderful creations (sad face law 😔)
- takes a nice stroll a few days later to scope out new "patients" :)
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I'm really sorry if this was booty, Ive just been thinking about this for a bit since we're getting closer to spooky szn! I'm not great at tagging so I'm probably gonna look for some tips on how to do it 😅
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