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seungrem · 3 months

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hwang hyunjin x m!reader

‘The One & Only’ - Part 1 of ??

summary: Through mutual friends, reader and Hyunjin form a strong connection, though the process seems rather slow. A slight crush may turn into something more with the help of others.

( part 1, college student AU, pre-fame, slowburn, confused feelings, etc. my first fanfic pls b nice! )

emoji code:

🌿 ( long story/series )

🧸 ( light fluff, slowburn )

🪐 ( kinda an AU, students )

☁️ ( stands for y/n )

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Footsteps echoed through the hallway as two students steadily walked side by side. Light blue tiles reflected the ceiling’s studio lights with beige walls displaying posters and large picture frames. A few feet ahead of the students, a pair of large, clear doors were open, revealing a great distance of field. Students sat around black tables or picnic blankets, most groups conversing amongst themselves. A small, white wall confined this outdoor area, the trees’ shade a seemingly popular destination. Time stopped as the students curiously turned their heads, eyes narrowing as they spotted the one and only.

Hwang Hyunjin was well known amongst most of the university body, even being referred to as a campus celebrity on some occasions. His inimitable sense of aesthetic and his model-like looks were topics of conversation for many; It was hard to miss him. Although he wasn’t on a sports team or apart of many clubs, he was extremely popular through his dancing videos, many of which had gone viral. Due to his notoriety, rumors resulted in many people thinking of him as stuck-up, some believing him to ignore and look down upon other students. Despite this, Hyunjin still had many friends, but he considered them to be more of acquaintances. He hung out with lots of people, and enjoyed it, though he was never separated from his true friends; one of which was Lee Felix.

Lee Felix was the school’s sweetheart, and everyone knew it. He was kind, collected, and empathic no matter the person, place, or situation. His energy was always warm, and he was adored not only by the students, but by the professors and staff as well. The school’s sweetheart was playful and a bit nerdy, though very few saw that side of him. Felix met Hyunjin in their first semester through a friend, BangChan, and the two clicked pretty quickly. Felix was able to understand and match Hyunjin’s humor, while Hyunjin felt comfortable enough around Felix to express himself without fear of judgement or social pressure.

On a sunny, yet breezy friday in the middle of January, Felix walked through the bright green grass. Spotting two of his friends at the farthest table, closest to the brick wall, he waved his hand high in the air. ☁️ noticed him, waving back as Felix practically skipped over to the table. ☁️ watched as the ice-pop dripped drops of blue and pink onto the group as he walked.

Across from ☁️, a boy he met a few weeks ago, BangChan (or Chris, as Felix called him) was bored and scrolling on his phone. He occasionally looked up, either to make small talk with the boy across from him, or stare out into the grassy fields behind the wall. Aimlessly looking between the other tables, and the huge university building in the distance, ☁️ rested his head in his hands with his elbows planted onto the table. Hyunjin followed behind Felix and sat next to BangChan, greeting him with a hand shake directly after. Felix sat next to ☁️, smiling as he showed him his half-eaten ice pop. Hyunjin turned to face ☁️, who was diagonal to him, ☁️ noticing and then giving his attention to the boy.

“I’ve heard of you, what’s your name again?” Hyunjin asked, seemingly emotionless. Felix looked up from his ice pop and looked at Hyunjin, the two locking eyes for less than a second.

“☁️,” The boy responded, giving Hyunjin a smile as he propped himself up and out of his hands.

“Oh.. I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you.”

☁️ assumed Hyunjin was just being polite despite the awkwardness, and wasn’t actually interested. He could feel Felix’s gaze switching between the two as their conversation continued.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’ve heard a lot about you as well.” ☁️ smirked as he finished his sentence, not realizing that Hyunjin would take it the wrong way. He watched as Hyunjin frowned turned to look at Felix, the sun no longer reflecting off the side of his face. Opening his mouth slightly to speak, he hesitated. “Ah.. well, whatever you heard-”

“Don’t worry, he knows. We’ve.. talked about you quite often.” Felix interrupted. Felix looked from Hyunjin to ☁️, his lips forming a sympathetic smile. ☁️ nodded and looked back at Hyunjin, who sighed heavily.

“Oh, okay.. have you heard about what people say?”

☁️ nodded again. “I don’t pay it mind.”

Hyunjin forced a smile, looking from ☁️ to Felix, Felix’s furrowing as he smiled back. BangChan looked up from his phone to the three boys sitting at the table.

“You two haven’t met yet? We’ve been around each other on a few occasions..”

He looked tired, but BangChan was involved in everything. He helped coordinate events, was involved in the student council, and so on. Although he kept a “lowkey” profile, most people knew who he was. He had been friends with Felix since forever, but had befriended Hyunjin a month or two ago. ☁️ met BangChan through Felix towards the beginning of the semester, but had been friends with Felix for a few months now. The two became extremely close in recent days.

“I got an ice pop.” Felix said, breaking the silence as ☁️ thought to himself. The boy next to him held up the wooden stick, with a small chunk of ice pop still hanging on. Hyunjin and ☁️ looked at him and laughed.

“Okay.. anyways, what do you guys want to do today? It’s Friday, so I’m pretty sure most of our classes are done early.” Bangchan asked, him then placing his phone in his pocket. Even though ☁️ has been joining Felix while he spent time with friends or did afterschool activities with others, he still felt that he didn’t know who Felix’s crowd consisted of. ☁️ snapped back from his thoughts as Hyunjin spoke.

“You could come over to my place, and we could watch movies or swim in my pool.. I could also make you guys food or something.” Hyunjin thought out loud. He looked at ☁️ , who looked back, curious as to if this thought was new or premeditated. ☁️ saw this as an opportunity to get to know the other boys better, regardless.

“I’m okay with that.” ☁️ stated, smiling. He nudged Felix and looked at Bangchan, both of which agreed.

“I don’t think I’m busy, you and I can work on that film project then.” BangChan nodded to Hyunjin, who nodded back to him.

“Alright, you guys could stay over too. I’ve been home alone for a while, and I know that my house is far.”

“After my last class, I’ll go home and pack some stuff for us. When would you like us over?” Felix is so cute i love that man. Hyunjin shrugged.

“Whenever you want to come, I don’t care. My parents won’t be home for a few days so..”

“You’re sure they won’t mind?” Bangchan asked biting his lip. Hyunjin laughed and looked at Felix and ☁️.

“It’s not like they’re gonna know anyways.”

Bangchan sighed and rested his elbows on the table. “I’ll come around 7 pm, but I can pick you two up before then. Sound good?” He pointed at Felix and ☁️, both of which nodded without thinking twice.

“Alright, what do you guys wanna do?” Felix said with lots of excitement in his voice, him then looking at his phone. ☁️ assumed he forgot about the question he just asked as he watched felix stand up. Felix walked away from the table with a popsicle stick and wrapper, leaving his phone next to ☁️. An alarm titled “Go to Communications Class” buzzed as the three watched him power walk back to the table.

“Walk with me to class, guys.” Felix said as tugged at ☁️’s top.

Hurrying, the four grabbed their bags and walked through the grass to the closest school doors.

“See you on Wednesday!”

☁️ waved goodbye to the classmates at his table and was the first to walk out. Hyunjin leaned against the wall directly in front of ☁️’s classroom door. The two locked eyes as ☁️ took a few steps away from the door as to not block other people’s path. Hyunjin held out his hand as a hello and walked towards him, ☁️ waving back a bit confused. The two muttered a soft “hey” to the other.

“So, Chan told me to wait outside of your class so we could meet with him at the parking lot.”

“Okay, are you ready?”

Hyunjin nodded, the two beginning down a hallway towards the staircase, which lead to the bottom floor. Students entered and left through the closest set of doors coherently, as if the bottom floor was a highway.

☁️ felt a cool breeze race across his face as he stepped onto the outdoor patio. The sky was now filled with small clumps of overcast, just enough to block the sun for a few seconds at a time. The two walked down the stone path onto fresh grass.

☁️ could feel Hyunjin’s eyes look down on him as they walked, the two catching each other’s gaze and smiling in the seconds after. Both remained silent in their walk from the university building and through the grass. They approached the highly funded outdoor garden, side by side past a small path lined by large bushes, patches of flowers, and small trees. Felix and Bangchan became visible in the distance after a few minutes, the two waiting patiently at their usual meeting place: a secluded black lamppost beside a stone trail, which began at the end of the garden’s. The meeting spot’s only difference between today and other days, was the appearance of Hyunjin, not that ☁️ minded at all.

“It took you guys much quicker than I thought it would.” Bangchan commented, partially as a greeting. Felix looked up from his phone and then waved.

“I just followed him.”

Hyunjin discreetly pointed at ☁️, who looked up at him.

“I thought you knew where you were going,” ☁️ smiled, “He walked ahead of me for most of the trip over here.”

“Noo, that’s exaggerating- I was walking right next to you.” Hyunjin chuckled, but BangChan was visibly distracted by the grey clouds lingering above. “I think it’s going to rain soon, we should get going. I don’t want you two to get caught in the rain again.” Chan pointed to Felix, and then to ☁️, who rolled his eyes. Felix walked over to ☁️ and wrapped his arms around the boy’s body, him then squeezing hard.

“Come on ☁️, let’s not get caught in the rain!” Felix said mocking Chan as he began to walk with the boy still in his arms. He rested his head into ☁️’s neck as he shuffled with him, resulting in laughter from Hyunjin and BangChan.

☁️ muttered, but accepted his fate. Felix softly letting him go with a chuckle. The four then continued down the short stone path to the parking lot, where BangChan and Hyunjin had their cars parked.

Hyunjin began to walk away from the group of three. “I’ll see you guys later, then?

“Yup, I have your address. Is 6’ okay, though? I think it’s supposed to rain pretty bad tonight.” Chan responded. After Hyunjin nodded, the two waved, Chan then parting ways and walking to his car. Felix and ☁️ were already there, play fighting between the few surrounding vehicles. “You guys better not hit my car!” Chan said, loud enough for them to hear and conclude their antics. The three jumped into the vehicle and departed. Felix and ☁️ still giggling to each other in the backseat. Chan sighed, looking into his rear view mirror.

“You two are lucky you live next to each other.”

The ceiling felt so far away as ☁️ laid on his bedroom floor. Showered, ready, and tired of waiting, he dragged his packed bag next to him. He sat up and made sure he had everything he needed: pajamas (sweatpants and old shirt), skincare products and a headband, a charger, and slippers. From on the bed beside him, a buzzing sound caught ☁️’s attention. Chan was calling.

“☁️, I’m here! Sorry to keep you waiting, I was instructed to grab ingredients for later.”

“It’s okay, I’ll come out now.”

☁️ shut off his lamp light and ran out the door, his hefty bag thumping against his body. A stong rainfall filled the atmosphere, almost to the point where it was hard to see in front of you. The combination of gray skies, dark green trees, and the consistent tap of droplets against the car window made for a peaceful evening in the neighborhood.

“Where’s Felix?” ☁️ asked as he settled in the front seat, the semi-wet bag resting on top of his legs. He looked over to the driver, who wore a tight, black knit sweater and loose jeans.

“Eh, he said he wouldn’t mind just running over to your house, but I wasn’t going to make him do all that in this storm. It began raining much earlier and harder than the weather app said it would.”

Chan and ☁️ quickly arrived in front of Felix’s place, watching as the boy ran to the car with two large bags his hands. Felix jumped into the backseat as ☁️ helped him place his bags on the floor from the front. He wore a striped vest of browns and baby blues with a long sleeve shirt under. His light blue jeans were now damp.

The drive from Felix’s house was smooth and scenic. Hyunjin lived in a community about 10 minutes north, so ☁️ rested his head back and closed his eyes until they arrived. His stomach began sinking thinking about Hyunjin; just like everyone else, ☁️ had an innocent crush on the boy. Recalling how awkward Hyunjin was at the lunch table, he decided it was best to see him as nothing but a friend. The two didn’t really know each other anyway.

The ride took longer than ☁️ anticipated, not that he cared all that much. The trio arrived to a modern-looking house in the middle of nowhere, japanese hackberry trees surrounding the home and road. Felix took initiative to text Hyunjin, stating that “we didn’t swerve off the road!” with a “we’re outside” following right behind. Chan pulled his car into the driveway, the garage door opening as soon as he stopped. Hyunjin appeared from under it, him crouching and waving his hand hello. After the door was more than halfway up, the car was pulled in and the three hopped out.

“Thanks for being our storm shelter.” Felix said as he struggled with the two bags in his arms. Hyunjin hurried over to take one from him, laughing at the boy. He wore a large black hoodie with tan cargo pants and slippers.

“It’s nice to finally have people over.”

Hyunjin walked through a dark hallway while the three followed behind him. Light eventually appeared from an entrance in the distance, everyone walking through the entryway and into a massive kitchen. Studio lights illuminated the beige accent against the kitchen’s dark brown marble appliances. Felix and Hyunjin softly placed the bags on the island table.

“Your kitchen is really nice,” ☁️ said, thinking out loud. He placed his bag on a chair and leaned on the island. Hyunjin smiled at him, then turning his attention to Chan and Felix. “Let me show you guys to your room quickly.”

“You sure you’re okay with us spending the night?” Chan asked, shuffling behind Hyunjin. Felix grabbed one of his bags and followed the two. ☁️ looked around as their voices faded away. He walked over to the bag Felix left behind, it full of groceries. Felix mentioned he had wanted to bake something while they were together, but ☁️ wasn’t so confident in their baking abilities. He pulled everything out, slowly setting the items out in a line across the island. As he finished, the trio’s footsteps interrupted the silence.

“☁️, let me show you to your room.”

Hyunjin walked over to ☁️’s bag and threw it over his shoulder. Thanking him, ☁️ followed Hyunjin back into the hall, this time walking towards the end. A flight of steps appeared through the dimness, natural lighting emerging from the top. The two remained quiet as they walked up the steps, and into the nearest room to the left. The room was huge, with two rectangular windows on the opposing side’s gray walls. The curtains were tucked to the corners of both, revealing light gray skies and streams of water droplets. The bed had tones of grey sheets and was towards the far right, in between a dark gray nightstand and dresser. The room was minimalistic and somewhat organized. ☁️ watched from the doorframe as Hyunjin walked in and placed his bag on the bed, ☁️ then trudging over and sitting next to it. He looked around, noticing a backpack and computer on the dark gray desk across the room. Above the desk, two wall-mounted shelves held action figures and small plushies. ☁️ snapped back to reality when Hyunjin sat on the bed too, the large bag now in between them.

“Will this be alright? If you want another room, I can let you sleep in my parent’s.” Hyunjin looked over to ☁️, who titled his head to look back at him.

“Who’s room is this?” ☁️ narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin, who was caught a bit off-guard by the question.

“It’s mine.”

“Then, where are you sleeping?”

“I thought I would just sleep on the couch, I really don’t mind-”

“I.. can’t do that, I’d feel awful to kick you out of your own room.” ☁️ shook his head and stood up, grabbing the strap of his bag. Hyunjin stood up too, holding his hand up to stop the boy from grabbing the bag.

“You’re the guest, I really don’t mind. The couch is really not that bad.”

☁️ grabbed his bag and took a few steps toward the door. “I’m not kicking you out of your room-”

Hyunjin grabbed ☁️’s arm and stopped him in his tracks. “☁️, I don’t have a problem with it.. Please, leave your stuff here and take the room.”

Hyunjin’s face was lowered so that he could stare into ☁️’s eyes. The boy’s head was turned to face Hyunjin’s as the two stood in silence, the only noise being their breath and the frequent taps of raindrops against the window.

Finally, ☁️ nodded, resulting in Hyunjin’s grasp being released. Hyunjin watched as ☁️ walked back to the bed, not knowing the boy’s entire body went hot from his touch. Letting the bag slip off his shoulder, part of ☁️ wanted to volunteer himself to Hyunjin’s parent’s room. He contemplated, but ultimately felt as though that’d be awkward. Another part of him wanted to propose the two of them sleep in the same bed, but that was risky considering it could make things a lot more awkward. ☁️ didn’t know if Hyunjin felt that way about him, or if he was into men in general. He decided to just leave it alone.

“Thank you, I really don’t want to make you sleep on the couch, though.”

“We’ll see what happens.” Hyunjin replied softly. ☁️ didn’t know what he meant, but nodded in understanding anyway. Hyunjin held his hand out, signaling ☁️ to make his way out the room and back toward the kitchen. ☁️ bashfully smiled and began down the hallway and then the steps, Hyunjin directly behind him. Felix and Chan had already begun their baking project, with bowls and pans on the island. Felix put some of the ingredients back into the fridge as Chan mixed a powdery substance in a clear bowl. Chan looked up as the two stepped into the kitchen.

“What took you guys so long?”

Felix poked his head out from behind the metallic fridge door. “We figured we would start while we waited, hope you guys don’t mind.”

“We were only gone for a minute.” Hyunjin responded, smiling. Chan raised an eyebrow as he mixed, mouthing a sarcastic “ooookaayyy.” ☁️ rolled his eyes and smiled, walking over to Felix.

“What do you need us to do, Felix?” ☁️ asked as he leaned on the fridge door. Felix looked up, grabbing a carton of eggs and milk and handing it to the boy. “Can you take this over so we can put it in the mix? Also Hyunjin, can you take over for Chan?”

Hyunjin walked over to Chan, rolling his sleeves up. His eyebrows furrowed in disgust as he grabbed the wisk from Chan.

“Thanks, my arms were starting to hurt… wait why’re you making that face? You’re just crushing the flour, baking powder, and sugar clumps up before we add everything else.” Chan laughed at his friend, ☁️ placing the next ingredients beside the two. “Do you want me to take it over, and you can put the stuff in?” ☁️ asked, which immediately resulted in Hyunjin’s face returning to an expressionless state.

“I think that’d be worse, he doesn’t like egg yolk.” Chan said, laughing again. Hyunjin smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay, I don’t mind doing this.”

Felix closed the fridge door and sat in a seat a few feet from ☁️ and Hyunjin, watching as they measured, poured, and mixed side by side. Chan snuck pictures of the two together, him then taking selfies of him and Felix per Felix’s request. The pairs rotated positions every few minutes until Felix deemed the batter ready. As Chan preheated the oven, ☁️ carried a pan over to Felix. Him carefully pouring, the four watched from behind as Felix placed the empty bowl down, and the pan in the oven.

“All done.” Felix smiled. “Now we wait.”

“Well, what do you guys want to do in the meantime?” Hyunjin asked from the other side of the island. ☁️ looked over to him, noticing how the warm-toned ceiling lights clashed against the natural light’s cool tones against his skin. ☁️ looked over to the window, the clouds slowly becoming darker as night took over day.

“Do you have any games?” Felix asked, turning his head from the oven to face the boy.

“Hmm, I think so.”

Hyunjin stood up and walked out of the kitchen, the three following him into a dark room. Flicking a switch, the room became illuminated in baby blue tones by a gradient chandler. Hyunjin’s living room was spacious and comfortable, ☁️ noticing a large, dark blue conversation pit at the other end of the room. ☁️ walked over to it, carefully stepping in and sitting down. Felix followed this action as Chan stood above them, waiting for Hyunjin to look through shelves of a white bookcase. After a few seconds, he pulled out two boxes, announcing “This is all we have here.”

He handed a box to Chan, showing Felix and ☁️ the other. “Charades sounds fun, what’s the other?” Felix asked, Chan holding the box on its side for them. “It’s Twister, not sure how I feel about this one.”

Felix looked at ☁️, and then to Hyunjin. “Twister it is! Let’s set it up down here.” Felix said smiling as he jumped up to take the box from Chan. “Oh, so you want me to break my back.” Chan sighed, wrapping his arms around Felix and then leaning onto him.

“Why don’t I be referee?” Chan questioned, sighing once again. Felix mouthed a “no!” and flicked the spinner provokingly. ☁️ smiled. “I’ll catch you if you fall, don’t worry.”

Chan walked over walked over to the plastic mat and placed his feet on the middle two squares (yellow and blue). “You two go on that side.” He pointed. ☁️ stood on the yellow and green circles as Hyunjin stood to his left (on the red and blue circles). Felix flicked the spinner.

“Right hand on yellow.”

The three boys leaned forward, crouching as they placed their hands down. Chan nervously laughed as he waited for the next spin.

“Left hand on red.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” ☁️ asked, almost seriously. He looked over to Hyunjin to see how he would navigate the new instruction.

“Here, I’m going to place my hand on the third one up, you place yours on the second.” Hyunjin suggested, pointing at the circles to the left.

“Don’t help each other, it’s going to take longer.” Chan joked as he struggled to keep himself up.

☁️ whispered a ‘thank you’ as he rotated his body to face the left, crouching down to reach the red side. His left foot still on yellow while his right foot’s on green, the position became slightly more comfortable as he leaned on his toes. He felt Hyunjin’s sweater brush against his back as the boy reached down as well. Hyunjin whispered a ‘sorry,’ resulting in a very flustered ☁️ getting down lower to give him room. The two somewhat formed a plus sign with their bodies at this point, Hyunjin’s breath becoming heavy.

“Left hand on green.”

The three boys on the mat groaned as they repositioned themselves. “Is it okay if I put my hand here?” Hyunjin asked, slowly moving his hand past ☁️’s cheek to reach the green row. Now in a comfortable position, the boy noticed that Hyunjin’s face was inches next to his. He became flustered, trying to hide a bashful expression. Hyunjin turned his face to ☁️, smiling with a red tint filling his cheeks. He mouthed another ‘sorry.’

“Left foot on blue.”

Chan laughed out loud again as he now had two feet on blue and twisted his torso to reach the yellow and green circles. Hyunjin and ☁️ looked at each other nervously.

“Felix! Are you doing this on purpose?” ☁️ asked, not moving yet. Hyunjin didn’t move either.

“No, not at all, I’m flicking! See!” Felix responded, laughing. He shook the spinner to show them, though it wasn’t really convincing anyone.

“Okay, how are we gonna do this..” ☁️ half-asked Hyunjin as he tried making up his own mind.

“So, I’m going to put my leg on the third one and crouch down, so you can place your arms over.”

Hyunjin nodded and placed his foot on the second blue circle. ☁️ felt Hyunjin’s body crash into his, assuming that he fell as his chest was now directly against ☁️’s back. The boy held his breath as Chan and Felix looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

“I’m so sorry..” Hyunjin murmured, his chin now resting on ☁️’s shoulder. ☁️ choked on his words but managed something witty to calm himself. “Apologize when you knock the both of us down and make Chan win.”

“Right foot on yellow.”

“I didn’t hear you flick it.” ☁️ sighed and looked at Chan, who turned his head to face Felix.

“I did!”

☁️ placed his right foot in front of Hyunjin, as Hyunjin placed his foot behind ☁️’s body.

“Somebody fall.” Chan said as he struggled.

“You first.” ☁️ responded, smiling.

☁️ heard a flick. “Left hand on red.”

“See! You cheater!”

“I was flicking the whole time~” Felix smiled teasingly.

☁️ carefully lifted his arm and placed his hand past Hyunjin’s waist without looking over. His back now faced the boy’s torso. Hyunjin tried to turn his body but his hand slipped backwards, resulting in him kicking one of ☁️’s legs out. The boy fell directly onto Hyunjin’s abdomen, the two lying there in defeat. ☁️ lifted his head up and turned it quickly to scowl at Hyunjin.

“I’m.. so sorry.” Hyunjin said after lifting his head and upper body from the ground. He slowly ran a hand through his hair as an action of apology, though a smirk formed on his face when he saw ☁️ lying in between his legs, glaring menacingly. “Hey, I said sorry.”

Hyunjin laughed as he placed his hand under ☁️’s shoulder, lifting it so that the boy’s upper body was completely off of the ground as well. ☁️ sat on his feet. “You let him win.” he fake pouted, pointing at Chan, who was already standing.

“I guess that means extra cake for me.” The winner laughed.

“I can’t believe you not only let Chris last that long, but win.” Felix said, still giggling as he recalled watching the two boys fall.

☁️ turned his head to look at Hyunjin, the two locking eyes for a few seconds, though to ☁️, it felt like forever. He felt his stomach drop as he stared into the boy’s beady eyes. The bright light from the window behind wrapped around Hyunjin’s figure, almost as though he was heaven-sent. ☁️ came to the realization that Hyunjin was, in fact, still a crush.

“Hey, can you help me fold this.”

Chan had the mat by the edges, watching curiously as the two boys in front of him broke their gaze of each other. Hyunjin jumped up, grabbing the opposing end of the mat as ☁️ walked over to Felix.

“Is the cake done yet?”

Felix checked his phone. “38 seconds left. You guys finished just in time!” He said in a high pitched voice, teasing Hyunjin and ☁️ again.

“What exactly are we celebrating, again?” ☁️ asked as he spread cocoa flavored icing across the cake, which now sat on a large glass plate.

“We just made a cake. For no particular reason.” Felix shrugged, not taking his eyes off of the butter knife ☁️ was using.

Hyunjin brought a bowl of berries from the fridge and sat them in front of Chan. Picking at the berries alongside him, Hyunjin pulled out a chair and sat. Since the Twister game, ☁️ and Hyunjin had been making eye contact frequently. ☁️ wasn’t sure why or what it meant, but he couldn’t help but smile whenever it happened. Chan and Felix noticed, their eyes talking to each other as they silently agreed to break the ice.

“So ☁️, have you met anybody at the university?” ☁️ carefully handed the knife to Felix, then turned to face Chan. ☁️ figured he was referring to something specific, but wanted to play dumb.

“Yes, I met you guys. I’m glad we’re all friends.”

Chan and Felix anxiously glanced at each other, Chan preparing to word his question. Hyunjin glared at the two.

“I’m.. very glad that we became friends too, but I meant more so, as in.. a partner.”

☁️ mouthed an “oh” and shook his head. He looked down at the cake. “No partner,” he responded, looking back at Chan. “Why do you ask?”

Chan looked at Hyunjin, who furrowed his eyebrows. “How about you?”

Hyunjin shook his head, shy as he was now put on the spot.

“Well, that’s okay.” Chan shrugged, now seemingly feeling awkward for asking. He looked at Felix for help.

“Why don’t we play matchmaker while we eat the cake?” Felix suggested as he cut a slice out of it. Placing the piece on a paper plate, he quickly distributed slices. ☁️ glanced at Hyunjin, accidentally making eye contact with him again. “What about you two? Are you seeing anybody?”

“Oh, it’s not about us. We planned this get-together so.. now it’s your guy’s turn to...”

“Get together?” Hyunjin said, lifting an eyebrow. His eye twitched. ☁️ felt a knot form in his stomach, unsure of where this was going.

“With someone, yes! Exactly!” Felix said, nervously laughing. “Good answer.” Chan said, laughing at Felix.

The boys ate the cake in pairs. On one side, Felix and ☁️ went through Felix’s social media following, specifically looking for his university friends. Diagonal to them, Hyunjin and Chan did the same on Chan’s account.

“Guys, right?” Felix whispered, ☁️ nodding.

He tapped on a profile. The guy was okay, but not really ☁️’s type. “Nah, keep going.”

“Yeah, you can show guys too, it doesn’t matter to me.” Hyunjin whispered to Chan, though it wasn’t necessarily a whisper as Felix and ☁️ looked over to Hyunjin, whose eyes quickly glanced back at them, the boy now embarrassed. Felix went to the search bar and started typing. Hyunjin’s account came up.

“What are you doing, Felix.” ☁️ whispered, a sigh following his words. “You don’t like him?” Felix softly responded, his tone becoming serious. The two remained silent for a few seconds.

“Do you think he feels that way about me? I think he’s really attractive but.. I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you just ask.” Felix murmured. ☁️ looked over to Hyunjin and Chan, who whispered amongst themselves as well. “Absolutely not.”

“Would you like me to tell him?”

“Felix, hell no!” ☁️ half whispered, Chan and Hyunjin now looking at them. Chan looked at Hyunjin and cleared his throat. “Have you guys decided over there?”

“Yes, he’s picked.” Felix said, grabbing his phone from in between the two of them. Hyunjin’s profile was still on the screen. Chan and Felix locked eyes and began counting down.

“3..”

“What are you guys doing?” ☁️ asked, confused, him then bitting his lip.

“2..”

Hyunjin pulled his hoodie strings over his chin.

“1!”

Felix reached across the table to show Hyunjin his screen, Chan doing the same for ☁️. His social media account was on Chan’s phone screen, meaning that Hyunjin was seeing himself on Felix’s screen.

“See, matchmaker! We match-made.” Felix said as took his phone away and smiled to Chan. Chan took his phone away from ☁️, but he didn’t smile.

☁️ stared at the spot where Chan’s phone was once held. He face palmed, sighed, and then ran his hand into his hair. He looked over to Hyunjin, who stared at the table. His black hood was now over his head and the strings around his lips. ☁️ glared over to Felix and Chan as the room remained silent.

“Did you guys plan this whole get-together to do.. this?” ☁️ questioned, in a more aggressive tone than he intended. Chan shook his head innocently while Felix looked to the side and shrugged. The two looked at each other, Felix opening his mouth but hesitating. “Well, we didn’t base the whole thing around.. this, but-”

Chan interrupted. “But.. we noticed how the two of you admired each other. From the few times that we’ve hung out, everyone has noticed how you two look at each other from a distance.” ☁️ froze in both embarrassment and disbelief. Hyunjin always seemed to be so monotone and dull around him, the idea of him feeling the same way felt wrong.

Felix continued. “Hyunjin came to me one day and asked about y-”

“Okayyy.. let’s.. stop it here.” Hyunjin took his face out of his hoodie and stood up, still staring at the table. “This is.. humiliating..” Hyunjin turned to face Chan and Felix, Chan bending his head down and Felix smiling ruefully.

“I thought the outcome would be different, sorry guys.” Felix couldn’t stop smiling, probably out of discomfort. Chan grabbed Felix’s shoulder and started walked towards the living room. “How about we leave and let you guys talk it out.”

The two left, leaving Hyunjin and ☁️ to give each other dull gazes. Hyunjin walked around the island corner to stand in front of ☁️, who now leaned on the table with his right hip.

“Did you know about that stunt?” ☁️ asked, his eyes not leaving Hyunjin’s face. The boy shook his head. “I.. figured you didn’t know either. I’m sorry, that was awkward.. for us.”

“I mean… I don’t mind it all that much.” ☁️ replied, shocking himself by the statement. “Also, stop apologizing to me. You’ve done that a lot today.”

Hyunjin nodded his head and looked down. He smiled, unintentionally looked ☁️ up and down. “What do you mean you didn’t mind? You seemed pretty upset about it.”

“I know, I didn’t mean to come off that way. I just didn’t expect.. everything to come out like that.” ☁️ looked over to the living room entrance, Hyunjin and Chan immediately looking in a different direction from the conversation pit. “I was embarrassed, and still am. But I’m glad I know how you feel now. And now you know how I feel.” ☁️ looked back at the boy in front of him, now resting both of his elbows on the table behind him. Hyunjin nodded slowly.

“So?”

“So, what?” ☁️ turned his head to the side.

“So, would you want to go out sometime? Just us two?” As Hyunjin proposed the idea, ☁️ watched as Hyunjin played with the rings on his fingers. ☁️ couldn’t help but grin as he thought of a response. His body began to heat up again. He was obviously excited to be asked out by his not-so-secret crush, but wanted to play it cool.

“Mm, sure. I’ll leave it to you to pick the place.” ☁️ grabbed Hyunjin’s hand to stop him from fidgeting with his rings. A bold move, ☁️ screamed internally as he looked from Hyunjin’s hands to his face. He purposefully batted his eyes and smiled, making Hyunjin choke on his words.

“Ye- yea. I know a spot.”

Hyunjin grabbed ☁️’s hands back, intertwining their fingers. The two became startled as they heard claps from the conversation pit. Felix had his hands together, cheering the two on with a wide smile. Chan laughed at their reactions and gave the two a shy thumbs up.

Hyunjin and ☁️ smiled to each other bashfully as they continued to touch around each other’s hands. ☁️ noticed the light reflecting off of Hyunjin’s face again, this time, the orange and yellow tints exclusively illuminating his figure. It seemed as though ☁️’s crush was highly favored by something beautiful and ethereal. There was no contrast of the overcast’s cool tones as complete darkness now surrounded the home. The warmth of Hyunjin’s touch climbed up ☁️ ‘s arm, his heart beginning to melt as the two stood hand in hand. He stood only inches from the inimitable one and only.

Standing peacefully and unperturbed, ☁️ wasn’t sure what else to do other than play with Hyunjin’s fingers. Eyeing the boy up and down slowly, he contemplated on what to say next.

Softly snapping himself back to reality, ☁️ sighed and fixed his gaze over to Felix and Chan. The devious duo now talked amongst themselves. ☁️ opened his mouth ajar after turning to face the beautiful boy in front of him.

“They’re going to make this awkward now.”

Hyunjin moved his hands down to the boy’s wrists, using them to gently pull himself closer. ☁️ could now feel Hyunjin’s breath trickle down his neck as the boy’s knee brushed against his.

“I know.”

likes, comments & reblogs appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

a/n ~ i’m gonna be real with u guys, this story took so much out of me and it’s not even done :,o i’m going to put the rest in part 2, or even part 3 if it gets to that. my plan was to make it angsty but this is so cute so far, idk if i wanna do that. we’ll seeeee, thanks sm for reading my first posted fic rahhh <3

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lazarushound · 2 months

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The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

#supernatural #cw supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean and cas #destiel #spotify playlist #character playlist #playlist

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moon-is-a-cryptid · 1 year

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Strawberry energy 🍓

Warnings: none

Gender: use of the word mrs otherwise gender neutral

Kirishima having a Pre-Workout product called Riot Rage is a personal HC 👏🏻❤️‍🔥

It’s advertised as the most manly pre workout for guys, gals and non binary pals, because all genders can be manly in Ejiros opinion. His pre workout would come in a variety of tastes like strawberries, bomb pop, fruit punch all centered around red themed coloring, it’s a fairly successful brand already despite kiri not being a top hero, he can thank his bestie bakugou for helping advertise it.

But the way the Sale SKYROCKET when you, Prohero RedRiots s/o Is caught by the press heading to the gym in a “be unbreakable” red riot work out top drinking a bright red liquid out of a gym bottle to work out with Bakugous S/O, Stopped to ask what you were drinking, what you were going to do, who were you going to see etc. with cameras flashing and the tapes rolling, “I’m heading to the gym to see {bakugous s/o} and I’m drinking RiotRage Strawberry energy” turning to the camera you hold the bottle up next to your face “The perfect pre workout to make you feel unbreakable” with a wink before you push your way past and into the private gym.

Your face would then be plastered on magazines with a wink and holding your RiotRage, Kiris PR Team became all over it and asked if you guys could promote his product more often since he got some popularity off it, the folks seemed to love you and would go wild for the loving work out couple look you guys had. You would occasionally posting about it on your socials and staring in the adds that are put out on social platforms. Kirishima made it very clear that If you were uncomfortable with anything that you didn’t have to do it and his team agreed. You were so excited to agree since it helped Kirishima your loving husband out in his field. Next think you know you and kiri are posing in your usual gym outfits with the brand, making promotional videos about it, listing off the benefits of the pre work out.

Within the week of the preparations you received the first View of the ad that was to be sent out, it was a picture of kirishima lifting you above his head with one arm as if you were a dumbbell while you were drinking out of a gym bottle with different flavors scattered around. At the top of the ad it says “FEEL UNBREAKABLE IN THE GYM” and at the bottom “JUST LIKE MR. AND MRS. REDRIOT”

This came to me literally while i was drinking a code read Mnt Dew💀

See a spicy challenge for bakugous hot sauce brand

See smittens coffee for shinsous coffee brand

Masterlist🗒️

#g.moonchaser🌙🗯️#moonchaser🌙#🌙moons rant🌙#bnha kirishima #ejiro kirishima #kirishima hcs #kirishima headcanon #eijiro kirishima x reader #kirishima x gn!reader #kirishima eijiro x reader

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jortschronicles · 3 months

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Dragging a Viscount into Early Period

My first hack at more elaborate men's Rus has been prompted by a favorite Viscountess of mine dragging her fighter into early period.

I was given a pile of fabric for pre-determined aspects: a chenille upholstery fabric for the body, a buttery yellow linen for the facings, and a cream linen for the pants. For full disclosure, this piece is a commission that I'm doing at a reduced rate in hopes of getting my name out there on a pretty prominent figure in my region.

I used the calculations for measurements and layout given to me by Dvorianka Anastasiia which are derived from the patterning work done by Mistress Talana the Violet of blessed memory. It is similar to a variation of the style 5 tunic as categorized by The Renaissance Tailor, with trapezoidal gores in both the skirt and armpit, leading to an overall sleeker fit to the body than the standard square armpit gore. As some measurements had changed since Anastasiia last took them, I stressed myself out until I realized I have unlimited power at my fingertips: basic scripting. I wrote a short program to take hard coded measurements and spit out the exact dimensions of the pattern pieces, which felt a little bit like overkill and also not impressive at all.

With pieces patterned, cut out, and (mostly) serged, I delved into construction. I have learned from experience my preferred method of construction is starting by attaching the two body rectangles at the shoulders, attaching and turning the neckhole facing, and then assembling everything flat as follows.

This makes lining up and turning the facing significantly easier for me to do, and hides raw edges within the seams. Starting with the neckhole, however, means there's less fabric for me to fight while I turn a particularly annoying facing.

With the facing laid out on the body fabric, consultation with some of my apprentice siblings determined deep burgundy is the way to go for all the accents. I decided on split stitch around the neckhole and buttonhole stitch around the edges of the neckline, but quickly decided I prefer the split stitch for the rest of the decorative stitching on the garment.

For the sleeve cuffs, I pinned them in place, ran a quick line of running backstitch along the tops of the cuffs to secure them in place, then did split stitch at the top of the cuffs and a running stitch around the opening to keep the edge tidy while still not using visible machine stitching.

One thing the recipient of this garment expressed is that the striped facing secured with buttons or toggles is an ideal look, and luckily I have a significant quantity of the Vindheim buttons from Bad Baroness in stash. I do not have sufficient woven or braided trim in truly appropriate quantity or style for this garment to be aggressively period, but with the fabric we're already taking liberties and the ribbons look nice and appear to be a popular substitute for strips of silk tape performing the same function in our area. I laid the ribbon out at inch and a half intervals and made sure my lines would be straight on both sides. I turned the ends of the ribbons in and secured them with a whip stitch in a matching thread.

With my facing done and the worst of the neckhole dealt with, I seamed the rest of the garment into an actually clothing-shaped piece of fabric and let it hang for a day while working on other projects.

I decided to use a "looped cord" method of button loops, using a cord from an old site token that happens to look an awful lot like the cord used for an award the recipient has received. Starting from the bottom of the neckhole, on the wearer's right side, I've tacked the cord down under the edge of the garment, securing the loops aggressively.

Sometime soon I will get clearer pictures of this garment on the recipient.

The more I look at this garment and all other Rus-ish garments i've made and seen, I think I may need to round the gores into the "skirt" of the tunic more dramatically. I can no longer find the artistic depiction that originally gave me the impression, but until this point i've been letting the right angles of the skirt remain as initially cut, giving an angular overall silhouette but the rounding may be necessary for the right look.

#arts & sciences #a&s #sca #society for creative anachronism #historical costuming #rus costuming #garb #rus and norse #tunics

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chibivesicle · 3 months

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Gokinjo Monogatari got an English release. I am just - feeling like I got my wish from 1998.

That's right, I'm alive but not very active on the meta for the time being. 2023 sped up for the second half; work got crazy busy for Q4. I worked up to Dec 18th through several weekends so yeah, needed some recharge time.

I don't know how I missed this, but thanks to watching Coleen's Manga Recs, I discovered that the one shoujo manga title that I had been wanting an English release for has finally arrived. Gokinjo Monogatari by Ai Yazawa!

I discovered Gokinjo Monogatari in '98. One of the local comic stores had the first three tankobons and I bought them based on the cover artwork alone.

It wasn't until undergrad I was able to meet a few more people and figure out more than just the name and artist. I tried to find the translation of the manga online, but was unsuccessful. I have to remind people that before scanlations, you had to buy a tankobon and hope you found the text based translation which would have the text according to page number and what panel location. I read a fair bit of Kenshin that way, but sadly, this series was not that popular with readers in the States. I've been moving my entire adult life hauling my three precious volumes of the manga hoping that someday I would first, collect volume 4-7 to complete the picture and that I'd have my matching English version. Granted, I haven't done a good job of looking for volumes 4-7 when I've been in Japan . . . or using the internet either.

As if to spite me, the follow up manga, Paradise Kiss, did get a translation in 2002 from Tokyo Pop which exists in the same universe as Gokinjo Monogatari. Note that a previous manga's characters show up at the Flea Market in Monogatari as well and Yazawa likes to keep a lot of her series tied together. Eventually, the scanlation of the series appeared and I read it around 2011. I'd only found an episode or two of the anime during the golden age of file sharing, but didn't follow through on it. I wanted to read the manga before watching the anime. In 2017, I visited the Manga Museum in Kyoto, got to see a cool display about Ribon magazine and of course they had Gokinjo Monogatari merch! I bought the file folder set and stickers! I bought the Gokinjo Monogatari UT shirt from Uniqlo featuring Ribon series. Yet each time I found more stuff, the universe got the last laugh. Japan released the collectors set with four volumes, there was a French translation, German etc and never one for English. So, you have to realize how I absolutely lost my mind when the thing I'd figured would never happen, happened! Not only was it a thing, I'd even missed the December 2023 release date -at least I didn't have to wait for a pre-order to get volume 1.

I'm happy to see that this version included some of the original color pages!

It has a few more at the end with a photo wall of Mikako's outfits. Everything about the style of this manga, I absolutely love. The fashion goes so hard even now. I get nostalgic with all of the mid-90s Japanese street fashion which has a mix of 60s mod and 70s flare. I think the series also does a good job of capturing that awkward time in your teenage life when you are trying to figure out how to act with people you are interested in. But failing to sort things out. Unlike a lot of other high school manga series, this one stands out with the much more "normal" appearance of the students. I remember picking it up and thinking that the characters looked like they could be my peers; though there is no way Mikako's outfits would pass my high school's own liberal dress code where dyed hair and piercings were permitted. Her bare midriff would get her in trouble . . . Funny how now when I look at it, this is a very unusual high school set up for a Japanese reader likely coming from a more regimented school environment with a uniform and strict dress code. I never thought about it at the time. More that I was plotting my own hair dying plans for when I moved out of the house for undergrad just like the characters had - while still in high school. I did read Parakiss back when it came out from 2002-2005; however, it never really resonated with me the same way a series that I couldn't even find a decent translation for. I started to watch Nana but couldn't get into it at all. Maybe it was my mindset or the fact that I wasn't the mood for young twenty-somethings figuring their shit out.

Yet, here I am in the winter of 2024, and I have volume 1 of the collectors edition format of Gokinjo Monogatari and I'm still loving every little bit of the story as I read it. Perhaps, Parakiss and Nana were more edgier/grittier than something like this which is why they never quite clicked with me. I wanted my fashionable shoujo drama but not over the top. I'm not sure what I'll write about it. It isn't a well known series both due to the fact it is from the 90s and that it is shoujo but perhaps I can reflect on what I was drawn to it all those years ago and what I think about it now.

#gokinjo monogatari #neighborhood story #ai yazawa #mikako kouda

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redemptionarcsucker · 2 years

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Im so curious to read your headcanons of the relationships Helia/Saladin or even the boys/Saladin and see how you picture the old man 🥺

Thank you for the question! asfdbsdbk

Contrary to popular belief, I would actually say that Helia and Saladin have a pretty good relationship. We know from canon that for the most part, Saladin is pretty supportive of Helia, but I do think that also stems from the trust he has in his grandson. In my head, this wasn't always the case, and I can see the two of them having a pretty strained relationship when Helia was younger, not so much that they would fight, but because Helia felt like he couldn't trust his grandfather, who represented a lot of things with which he was quickly getting disillusioned. On the other hand, Saladin never attempted to understand Helia, or how increasingly anxious and weary Red Fountain was making him, until it culminated into his leaving the school.

Because of their weirdness from the past, Saladin is, for the most part, extremely careful about what he says around Helia.

Helia isn't someone who seems keen on a lot of attention, so Saladin forces him to social events only when absolutely necessary. When he does go, however, he is expected to be friendly or delightful (Saladin always pats him down for a sketchbook or novel)

Helia is often doubtful of his own capabilities as a hero, and this partially stems from the pressure he puts on himself to live up to his grandfather's expectations. Saladin is very aware of this, and makes sure to compliment him once in a while (but only when they're alone)

In that regard, Saladin is very careful not to acknowledge his familial relationship with Helia in public, and he goes to great lengths to ensure that there is nothing he says or does that can come off as favouritism. Helia is more than fine with this, since he has dealt with rumours and things all his life.

Having been sent for training to RF when he was quite young, Helia was raised by Saladin for a good chunk of his pre-adolescent life. Saladin would often forget that Helia was around when he would get angry and swear, and ofc this little brat picked up on it, and when he went back home and used his first f-bomb, his mother panic-called Saladin to yell at him and then ground Helia.

Saladin has tried to read the books that Helia recommends to him, he really has.

Wrt Saladin and the boys, I'd think that they have a fairly standard teacher-student relationship for the most part, with the additional code of respect that a military school would demand. But the bois are not super formal with him at all times, they know what they can kid about around Saladin, and when to shut up. Also , the' squad is by no means inconspicuous, so I'd imagine that they were already on Saladin's radar before Helia joined them, primarily with Sky being a prince and all. He would grow to respect them over the years, and as Helia forged individual bonds with each of them, Saladin would begin to care and worry for them as well. Mostly, since I headcanon that Helia had a shit time with his squad the first time around, Saladin would just keep an eye out for anything that could bring back memories from back then. He knows these boys, and he definitely knows that they are good people, and he was super relieved that Helia would learn to trust them, which is the main reason he's grateful for their existence.

#oof this is long #hope it made sense though #my first ask #thank you so much it was fun #oh oh and dont get me started on flora and saladin teasing helia together to get a rise from him #theyre so cute but are also required to be so fake in public its sad #anyway i love them #winx helia #winx specialists #winx saladin #plis ask me more things me likey

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bala5 · 2 years

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Born Maria Guadalupe Velez de Villalobos near Mexico City on July 18, 1908, the early life of gorgeous Lupe Velez is somewhat of a mystery. Some biographers claim she was the daughter of a prostitute, while others claim that her mother was a singer and her father was an Army officer who was killed during the waning days of the Mexican Revolution. Velez's mother and siblings relocated to Texas in the early 1920s only to soon return to Mexico City, where Velez took a job as a shop girl. And avid student of dance and song, Velez soon made her way onstage in musical shows in her native country. At the age of 18, she left Mexico City for Hollywood in search of a big break into silent films. She was quickly discovered by producer Hal Roach, who recognized her comedic gifts and used her in several comedy shorts starring Charley Chase and Laurel and Hardy. Her breakthrough role came in 1927 when she was cast in a starring role opposite Douglas Fairbanks in the United Artists adventure The Gaucho (1928; with Joan Barclay). Her next film was the drama Stand and Deliver (1928; with Rod La Rocque and Warner Oland). That same year, Velez was selected by the Western Association Of Motion Picture Advertisers as one of its WAMPAS baby stars, along with other actresses such as Lina Basquette, Sue Carol, June Collyer, and Sally Eilers.

During the waning days of the silents, Velez became a star in popular films such as Where East Is East (1929; with Lon Chaney) and Tiger Rose (1929; with Monte Blue and Grant Withers). Her first sound feature, Lady of the Pavements (1929; with William Boyd and Franklin Pangborn), was one of famed silent director D.W. Griffith's last assignments.

Velez's career survived the transition to sound rather nicely, but she often scandalized Hollywood with romantic exploits with her costars, including Gary Cooper and Gilbert Roland. In 1933, she married Tarzan actor Johnny Weissmuller, but their frequent rifts made headlines and did nothing for Velez's career, which began a slow decline. Her sexually energized pre-Code roles had made her a star, but when the Hays Production Code was enforced in 1934, dramatic roles for Velez vanished, so she returned to comedy in B movies. Possessing a gift for song, Velez also acted on the Broadway stage in several musicals during the early 1930s and again in the late 1930s. By 1939, her marriage to Weissmuller had ended, and her career had few bright spots until she was cast in the RKO comedy The Girl from Mexico (1939; with Leon Errol and Donald Woods). Velez's performance was so stellar and well-received that RKO built a series around the film called Mexican Spitfire, which included eight films.

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tcmparty · 1 year

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@tcmparty live tweet schedule for the week beginning Monday, December 05, 2022. Look for us on Twitter…watch and tweet along…remember to add #TCMParty to your tweets so everyone can find them :) All times are Eastern.

Friday, Dec. 09 at 8:00 p.m.MELODY CRUISE (1933)A playboy finds true love during an ocean cruise. Saturday, Dec. 10 at noonTOP HAT (1935)A woman thinks the man who loves her is her best friend's husband.

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byneddiedingo · 10 months

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Herbert Mundin, Diana Wynyard, Clive Brook, and Una O'Connor in Cavalcade (Frank Lloyd, 1933)

Cast: Diana Wynyard, Clive Brook, Una O'Connor, Herbert Mundin, Beryl Mercer, Irene Browne, Tempe Pigott, Merle Tottenham, Frank Lawton, Ursula Jeans. Screenplay: Reginald Berkeley, based on a play by Noël Coward. Cinematography: John F. Seitz. Art direction: William S. Darling. Film editing: Margaret Clancey.

There are lots of forgettable best picture Oscar winners: Who today watches The Great Ziegfeld (Robert Z. Leonard, 1936), The Life of Emile Zola (William Dieterle, 1937), or Gentleman's Agreement (Elia Kazan, 1947)? But Cavalcade may be the most forgettable (and forgotten) of them all. Based on a play by Noël Coward adapted by Reginald Berkeley and Sonya Levien, it's the saga of 33 years in the lives of a wealthy London couple, Robert (Clive Brook) and Jane Marryot (Diana Wynyard). Its portrait of their lives and the lives of their servants may have inspired the popular British TV series Upstairs Downstairs, and through it the even more popular Downton Abbey, both of which cover pretty much the same time period. In Cavalcade, as in the two TV series, the families suffer losses from the sinking of the Titanic and from World War I, and experience the social upheaval of a changing class system. But Cavalcade tries to cram it all into less than two hours, and tends to be more blatantly nostalgic about the passing scene. Unlike the creators of the later TV series, Coward and his adapters didn't have the benefit in 1933 of seeing what effect the events of the first third of the twentieth century would have on Britain and the world. It settles for a bit of prophecy in the form of a montage in which various talking heads rant about disarmament, communism, atheism, Christianity, and other ideologies, including a rather corny scene in a louche night club where same-sex couples seem to be on the verge of making out. (The film is pre-Code, so the strictures against depicting homosexuality haven't kicked in yet, though it's clear that the film -- despite Coward's own sexual orientation -- disapproves of it.) In addition to the best picture Oscar, Cavalcade also won a second Oscar for its director, Frank Lloyd, who had been the first director to be so honored, for The Divine Lady (1929). Wynyard also received a nomination for best actress, losing to a newcomer, Katharine Hepburn in Morning Glory (Lowell Sherman, 1933). Wynyard had a more successful career on stage than in movies. In Cavalcade she tries to register emotion by staring meditatively into the middle distance, often seeming like she has spotted something troubling on the wallpaper. The rest of the cast includes Herbert Mundin and Una O'Connor as the Marryots' servants, and Frank Lawton as Joe Marryot, the younger son, all three of whom would be reunited in a much better movie, David Copperfield (George Cukor, 1935). For the record, some of the films that Cavalcade beat for best picture include 42nd Street (Lloyd Bacon), I Am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang (Mervyn LeRoy), and Little Women (Cukor), all of which are more highly watchable today.

#Cavalcade #Frank Lloyd #Herbert Mundin #Diana Wynyard #Clive Brook #Una O'Connor

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ameliamelin · 1 year

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Best Gacha Club Outfit Ideas For 2023

Free roleplaying game Gacha Club has a gacha system (sometimes called "gachapons"), rich character customisation, an interactive storyline, and battle mechanics.

Gacha Club sets itself apart from other gacha-style games by offering a totally free character customization option that enables you to alter the appearance of your characters to your preference.

There are many choices for customisation, and individuals like using their imaginations to dress and otherwise dress up their Original Characters. If you're having trouble deciding on the ideal style or colour scheme for your OC, look no further.

This article will show you how to manually dress your character or how to use the pre-made costumes that are available with a code.

In either case, you are certain to learn something new and helpful from this article, so keep reading and be sure to see the final two ensembles, which are some of our favourites.

We'll look at some of the most popular and fashionable Gacha Club costumes in this article so you can make your choice.

How To Create Your Own Gacha Club Outfits

There are no specific guidelines for creating a Gacha Club outfit in Gacha Club, so you can create one as you choose.

Only a few simple costumes will be given to you so you can create something better suited to your character.

If you want to appear more gothic, stick to black, white, and perhaps pink, or pastel pink for more aesthetically pleasing looks. On the other hand, the choice is totally yours to make.

When we discuss Gacha Club clothes, we frequently picture an adorable, stylish chibi styled in a variety of outfits and accessories.

In this game, you can alter the looks of up to ten primary characters. This Gacha Club area is quite customisable and quite extensive.

In this section of Gacha Club, you can change the skin tone, head size, hairdo, mouth and nose shapes, and other physical characteristics of your characters.

You can also change the clothes, tools, and accessories that your chibi avatar is wearing in the game.

Not to add, you have a variety of colour options to choose from. When you are happy with how your character looks, you may capture pictures and construct scenes with a range of foregrounds and backgrounds.

Continue reading to find out how to make, design, and personalise your OC if you're having problems coming up with your own character.

The cutest Gacha Club Outfits are listed below for you to choose from for your own OC.

Aesthetic Gacha Club Outfits

Identifier: 5RUVZ3R

The aesthetics and stunning colour scheme that make this Gacha Club costume stand out among others and make it a highly special and one-of-a-kind choice of clothes place it at the top of our list.

Identifier: DQA2CTV

The next item on our list is a pink-lovers' attire. Consequently, if you wish to outfit your character in your preferred hue, this is it.

Identifier: 8L6243T

Young adults and teens make up the majority of the School Dress Gacha Club outfit's target market, with schoolgirls and boys making up the majority as well. A school outfit is definitely a terrific idea.

Your protagonist needs a gorgeous home-cut haircut. To give the body more beauty, add a small pocketbook.

Club Maid Outfit from Gacha

With its combination of white and black, knee-high socks, and black shoes, this maid outfit idea satisfies all the criteria for a traditional French maid uniform.

Even though these two outfits have the same colour scheme, they seem different. This maid attire is perfect for your character if you like minimalism or contrasting hues.

Softie Club Outfits from Gacha

Softie is the name of a cosy and enjoyable clothing line. With an emphasis on a particular kind of clothing that has a nice and inviting appearance, it is a brand that is quickly growing among customers.

Let's take a look at some costumes from the Gacha Club that meet this description.

As you may have noticed, these costumes feature lovely, pastel colours that are enjoyable to wear.

We hope that these Gacha Club softie clothing suggestions gave you the motivation you needed to dress your OC similarly.

Gacha Club Outfits for the Season

Seasonal attire includes warm and comfortable winter outfits as well as cool and energising summer attire.

Code for attire: YJISVFT

A very straightforward yet appropriate costume for you to wear your character in when it's snowing outside will be the first on our list of winter Gacha Club outfits.

Identifier: 27UYIZD

Now for the cuter material, which includes a onesie for your character. You really must have this lovely rabbit suit to add to your cosy winter wardrobe.

This costume fits the theme so nicely that you may wear it on Easter as well.

Identifier: BKP7XXI

However, we now have a summer-inspired wardrobe to go with the warm and bright days.

Identifier: EU2AB3P

Last but not least, we offer yet another design for your character's fashionable summer attire.

That is all we have to say about Gacha Club clothing. We sincerely hope you found our tutorial to be helpful and that it gave you the inspiration to customize your character in ways you had never thought possible. You may also utilize the unique outfit codes we provided for a rapid change of clothes.

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hear-the-ocean · 1 year

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The Siren Queen Book Review

Spoiler-y review of The Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

Summary (pulled from goodreads) :

“No maids, no funny talking, no fainting flowers.” Luli Wei is beautiful, talented, and desperate to be a star. Coming of age in pre-Code Hollywood, she knows how dangerous the movie business is and how limited the roles are for a Chinese American girl from Hungarian Hill—but she doesn’t care. She’d rather play a monster than a maid.

But in Luli’s world, the worst monsters in Hollywood are not the ones on screen. The studios want to own everything from her face to her name to the women she loves, and they run on a system of bargains made in blood and ancient magic, powered by the endless sacrifice of unlucky starlets like her. For those who do survive to earn their fame, success comes with a steep price. Luli is willing to do whatever it takes—even if that means becoming the monster herself.

Siren Queen offers up an enthralling exploration of an outsider achieving stardom on her own terms, in a fantastical Hollywood where the monsters are real and the magic of the silver screen illuminates every page.

Review:

Let’s start off this review by saying that the novel starts out a bit slow but picks up and by the halfway through point you're flying till the end. I’ve learned that the author, Nghi Vo, usually writes novellas and this is one of her only full length novels. It’s still quite short compared to most novels, not even hitting the 300 page mark. That being said, even if the pacing felt off, the atmosphere, the setting, and the characters make up for it. And of course the lovely and haunting writing style.

The tone of the novel was one of horror. To me at least because there were gory parts, body horror, monsters, and ghosts. The magic is not explained and it makes for a slow reading to figure out what's happening and there are a few moments where you're confused but reread those passages and you'll get it eventually. But I believe that works so well to further set that dark uncertain tone.The darkness and the horror was chilling to read and there are times where that unexplained magic played into it; you don't know if something was a metaphor or actually something that was happening. Did Luli really see the ghosts and the gore? Was her boss and her colleagues truly monsters wearing human skin or was that a metaphor to show how the entertainment business sucks out your morals, souls, and free will?

Things are shown to be so engineered and regardless of your popularity, you're owned. It's so dreadful and makes you wonder if there's some truth in there and how much of it happens in real life. There’s a storyline where a somewhat old famous actor (and one of Luli’s closest friends) is ordered to court a new very young actress and then marry and have kids with her. He is to act like they’re in love. Wolfe, who is the boss, manufactures an entire fake love story and meet-cute, poses them for the paparazzi and public. He sells the picture perfect love story. He of course owns both the young actress and the old actor and will most likely own their kids. The contracts bind your life to Wolfe.The old actor? He’s gay and has a lover. He escapes the ownership of his life by literally faking his death. Luli is griefstriken but later while watching his old movies he hears his laugh and recognizes him and his lover in the theatre before they get kicked out for noise and disappear. It’s a moment of happiness and relief for both Luli and the readers.

Seeing Luli grow was a satisfying pleasure especially since before going to the actor dorms, I didn't like her that much. I struggled to understand her and her ambitions and dreams. How absorbed and single minded she was to the point that she ignored her family. But when Luli entered the entertainment business, it felt like seeing a character fit into tailor made clothes. She was made for the cutthroat environment; flourished there. Her sharpness and unrelenting ambition and desire was out of place in a regular community but she fit right in in Hollywood despite feeling like she was out of place.

She felt out of place due to her race so she cut out a space for herself. In regard to her race, you can see how she was facing harder hurdles than the rest of her peers. Reading the casual racism and microaggressions and how used to it she was to the point that she barely reacted to them, was rage inducing. And that she came onto the scene while fiercely pushing the stereotypes away was nice to read. Then you get a scene where she's facing a woman who got rich and famous using those stereotypes to her advantage.

Nghi Vo shows us 2 sides of people reacting to racism in her world, one made her way by fighting past those stereotypes while someone else used it and both are shown to be equal. Not one was better than the other. But she also shows how each fight comes with its own hardships of course. Luli fighting against stereotypes means she faces more pushback and less roles, the other woman uses it to her advantage but at the cost of playing into those stereotypes which is hurtful to her and others. There’s no true win here. As always marginalized people have to pick their battles and we lose more than we win.

As well as being Chinese American, Luli is also a lesbian. The queer identity isn’t explored in the “just figuring myself out” sense; Luli knows she only likes women and is confident in that aspect of her identity. We see her enter 2 different romantic relationships with women and they’re explored in a very “this book isn’t about the lesbian identity, it’s a story that happens to have a lesbian main character and lesbian romance” way. And I LOVED this. I love stories where we can just exist and our identities aren’t some big obstacle or quest. Books like that are great but for those of us who have already figured ourselves out, it’s time our identities were treated casually and with normalcy like straight romance is.

What Nghi Vo did with Siren Queen and being queer was, as far as I know, pretty accurate for the time period it’s set in. Queer people existed but were mainly closeted in front of the general public. Luli gets into a relationship with 2 women and although the public and press don’t know, the industry she’s in, does know. It’s the same with one of her friends, another famous actor, who is a closeted gay man and has a boyfriend. The actor is implied to seek Luli out and be her friend because he recognizes her talent and heard about her being a lesbian. Those words are never said of course. Instead they’re called monsters. Ironic given literal monsters walked among them. Queer people were known in the industry and I guess their power and prestige and place in the social hierarchy protected them from hate crimes? Let’s attribute that to magic and be glad there were no worse hate crimes.

But overall the homophobia still existed. Luli frequents a lesbian club but even that club has odd heteronormative rules. Masculine presenting women were to hang out with feminine presenting women. Later on Luli gets threatened to be outed (since her going to that club would have ruined her career given that it’s a lesbian bar/club) And her relationships? Always hidden and in private. Nghi Vo gave us queer love in a way that felt free but also never let us forget that the time period was still homophobic.

Okay let’s talk about how the women were written so refreshingly. They’re allowed to be cold and warm and both hold a strength that is admirable. There's a focus on female friendship, strong enough to make you brave enough to face a monster that terrifies you. My favourite relationships were the female friendships. Oh how lovely they were written. One would expect hate and fighting given the industry but these characters were allowed to band together because they recognized that they weren’t enemies. That didn’t mean that everyone was all lovey dovey, there were relationships that were tense and full of jealousy as well. But the women were allowed to be human; written so well I would have no trouble imagining them as real.

There is a theme of family and severed connections that is shown in the beginning when we get Luli leaving her family. Even her ancestors went through separations and tragedy. It's not only Luli who lost sight and connection due to her ambitions, her grandparents and their children also separated for their own reasons. The theme is then brought back in the end when Luli goes back to visit her twin sister and try to reconnect with a family she left and a sister she stole from and abandoned. In the middle of the book, she makes a new family but both her closest friends run away from the industry to live free happy lives, both going to the extremes to make that escape happen. Luli is surrounded by loneliness but oddly enough, she doesn’t feel lonely. The only times we do get the sense of loneliness from her are when she’s grieving her friend supposedly dying, and after a breakup. But overall? She states she likes being alone. That doesn’t mean that’s 100% true. We see her reaching out to her family again to reconnect, and commit to a long relationship with her girlfriend. She works to get relationships again. Even then, she’s happy with her independence. It might feel contradictory but I relate and understand the feeling. I also like my space and being alone but I don’t like being lonely. I still want friends and family.

Moving on, Luli being called a monster was odd. The truly bad thing she did was leave her family and barely think of them, and of course, steal her sister’s name. Other than that everything she has done has been nothing to call monstrous. But I think that works to fully drive Nghi Vo's point, a woman who knows what she wants and goes to achieve it is called a monster. And of course the point we established earlier, queer people in the industry are called monsters just for being queer. It’s ironic every time I think of it.

Seeing Luli grow, hold herself with confidence, and truly achieve what she wanted was inspirational. She was maybe not wise but someone who lived with the consequences of her decisions. She is strong and to the outside pov, deadly, and not going to lie, I need some of that for me, I'll give you 5 years of my life for it Luli?

There's a darkness in the story that slowly gets lost as Luli integrates more and more into her Hollywood life and gets used to it. But every once in a while we get yanked out with every racist remark, every director or Wolfe using their power over others; every glimpse of a monster wearing human skin. I think it's flawlessly done.

I also loved how encompassing Nghi Vo wrote LA but specifically the studio Luli spends most of her life in. It feels like that's all there is, that's the world and when we leave it to go to San Francisco, just like Luli, the hold that place has, gets released and we see that there's more out there.

The ending of Luli “rising” or becoming a “star” is something I still can't fully understand but it's part of the unexplained magic that exists and I believe she's part human now just like everyone else in Hollywood.

Overall the world was magical, the writing poetic, and the characters complex and intriguing. It’s a book that can be analyzed multiple times with the amount of themes expertly woven into the story. It was a very character driven book, with an intimate look into humanity, ambition, drive, emotion, and the lengths people go for what they want. Finally, I’ll leave off this very long review with the final statement: The novel is spicy 😏.

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