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centuriantalevevo · 1 month

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"Mama Knows Best"

Alastor's mama is heeerrreee-

Includes: Vox cameo rip bozo lmao, mentions of murder and cannibalism, minor police brutality mentions, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', Alastor is prolly OOC but fuck you-, Alastor's mom is a badass prove me wrong-- oh wait, YOU CAN'T-, Very much mama's boy energy, she gives 'boy mom' energy in a way, but she's just a very affectionate and loving mama, she's not one of those "No one knows him like his mommy does" type mom's lol-, slight Men Slander(TM) but to be fair, men were on some sort of drugs back in the day ok?-, mentions of child abuse, persona cameo because fuck you, feel free to imagine Halo as you tho, I tried to do a little bit of quick research on Jambalaya, plz tell me if I got something wrong-, tate mentioned, alpha male dudes mentioned lmao, the grief of a parent losing their child is always the strongest grief

Nora's name is totally not inspired by Nora from the first season of American Horror Story from the 1920s, why would you think that? That's just stupid, you're crazy and no one will ever believe you!

The day seemed normal-- well... As normal as a day in Hell can be.

He was being trailed by Halo once again when he went for his daily stroll-- of course until they decided to run ahead and cross the road without looking, almost getting hit like a complete idiot... Had it not been for him, they'd be dead... AGAIN, at least. He wonders why he even stopped the car in the first place, but oh well!

He entered the hotel--

Oh! You're probably wondering who I'm talking about- Alastor! Yes, Alastor... The Radio Demon.... chronic technology hater, THAT Alastor.

Anyways!

He entered the hotel, hearing some chatter coming from the next room, as well as Halo being obnoxious as always.

"Wait who are you?" They asked, "Halo! That's rude..." Vaggie scolded them, "What?? I don't know who she is..." They argued, and he heard a soft laugh.

"Oh, it's alright, you're just curious after all." The voice said-- he felt like he'd heard that voice before... But where?

"Oh, since Halo's here that means Alastor should be here soon-- Halo, where is he?" Charlie asked, "just behind me! OI ASSHOLE GET YO DUMBASS IN HERE" They yelled while going to the doorway and hopping up and down.

"I'm right here, no need to yell." He responded, "dude you're 10 times taller than me, you're supposed to be faster." They crossed their arms, "Alright we got strawberry pimp in the room now! Why is needed? Why not need me instead? I'm better I prommy!" Halo turns a 180 immediately, they were too hyperactive today.

"Oh, do I have a guest? To what do I owe-" Alastor went silent, hell it looked like he almost lost his neverending smile... "Wha-.." He trailed off, Alastor...? Flabbergasted? Now that's a first!

"Al!" The lady said with relief and got up, "Oh you know him? Like... wait define knowing him-" Halo questions with their tail idly swaying. "Mama?" "MAMA?!"

It was like simultaneously combusting, EVERYONE said it at the same time.

Though the group gave a chance for this little reunion, they were about to ask a FLOOD of questions. "You should be in heaven?! What are you doing down here? You don't deserve to be down here!" Alastor exclaimed, holding the lady he just called mom.

"You'd be surprised at what I'm capable of, dear... I'm by no means a damsel in distress." She said simply, sitting back down but this time with Alastor next to her. "I never did give you my name, did I? I'm so sorry, how rude of me! I'm Nora!" She said sweetly.

"No way this sweet lady is in Hell, what did you do? Oh my god did you torture children?! Eat them like Hansel and gretel?!" Halo asked excitedly and Nora laughed. "What could have possibly done?! All things considered, you're supposed to be in heaven!" Alastor said, he almost sounded... Upset?

"Well... After you died, I waited for hours for you to come home... It came time you said you'd see me... Nothing.. I gave it 30 minutes thinking maybe you were running late! Then it his 10... 11... I waited til dawn..." Nora said softly, "I eventually tried to sleep on the couch so I could hear when he came home.. I barely slept, though. I maybe got a few minutes of shut eye... His dinner was cold, but I kept it on the table in hopes that I'd wake up and see the plate all cleaned up..." She continued.

"And then later in the morning, Police came to tell me he was killed.... I lost it... I stayed shut away for a few days, dealing with grief... The grief got to me and turned into rage." Alastor stayed absolutely silent- the most silent he'd ever been, you couldn't even hear static.

"I decided it was worth my life. I'd taken a pistol we had at home and found the man's house-- I knew who it was, he was there at Alastor's funeral, he was cackling to himself... so I broke in and shot him in the head." She said so calmly, it even scared Alastor of all people.

"And then I went after his friend. The man who decided to do a 'double tap' to make sure he was gone, except I didn't give him grace. I used my hat pin, honestly the young women who came up with using as a weapon in the day were geniuses of their time!" She continued with a soft smile, "I slit his throat and stabbed, I kept stabbing until all you could see were holes in his chest. Police shot me dead almost immediately." She said, "But I don't regret it... If you asked me... I'd do it all over again. I still blame myself, however." She said with a sigh.

"What?! No, that wasn't your fault! It was my choice to even do that, had I not have, I would've been alive!" Alastor cut her off, "But I could've asked you to come visit me now instead of later. I could've delayed you, even 5 minutes would've changed so much..! Alastor would answer to my every beck and call, if I asked him to come visit anyways, he'd put his original plans aside... Why didn't I use that power for once?" She asked, a rhetorical question. "I rethought of all these different scenarios on how I could've stopped it..! Obviously it was too late... I knew he'd be here, anyways... Waiting for me, eventually." She finished.

"How did you know I'd be here though?" "Sweetie... I always knew-- Parents ALWAYS know! You may think you're doing a perfect job at hiding it, but you aren't... They say mom's have eyes in the back of their head for a reason, y'know!" She laughed softly. "Wh.. So... wait-" Alastor was confused.

"Baby, I knew you'd been doing the killing... including occasionally eating a person or two... Granted! You tended to go after the men who were... honestly deserving of much worse..!" She said with a soft smile, "But I still was disappointed in your choices you made." She added, and Alastor looked down... In shame!

Alastor?! FEELING SHAMEFUL?! EMBARRASSMENT?! Impossible!

"I raised you better, I know I did! But... I can at least feel happy that you didn't end up like many of the men... objectifying women and being disrespectful. I may have raised a psychopath of a son, but at least he's respectful towards women." She said sweetly.

"I like to think he's the lesser evil in the world! Especially when he's killing bad people!" Halo spoke up with a grin. "I like to believe that too, dear! Don't you worry!" Nora laughed a little.

Alastor had been... Surprisingly well behaved, all things considered! But... Then again... Mama Alastor was here, anything to not disappoint her!

Alastor was going on another stroll to get a few errands done as well as some fresh air! Halo insisted on joining this time... They didn't wanna get on their computer for once.

But Nora insisted she come with! She wanted to see some other shops, see what they had to buy and maybe go on a but if a shopping spree, she deserved a treat, in her opinion!

"Ah sweet, Mama Alastor is joining!" Halo says while standing at their door, already having got their shoes on. "What? Mama Alastor?" She tilts her head a little, "Oh! Uh... It's a... uh... Basically like a thing in the vtuber community? We usually don't know the names of our oshi-- or favorite streamer's-- parents so we usually call them like... Mama and then vtuber's first or last name, or replace Mama with papa!" Halo explained, "It's hard to explain to someone who.. isn't also from 2020s, let alone just the 2000s..." They added with a small shrug.

"I have a bit of a hard time remembering names sometimes, so..." They quickly added again, "sorry if it made you uncomfortable!" "No need to apologize, honey! You're alright," Nora chuckled softly.

It was a peaceful day! Well, as peaceful as hell can be. No demon's giving issues! No overlords trying him! No Vox to be found-

Shit.. knock on wood--

"Well, if it isn't the fucking RADIO DEMON. Decided to come out from hiding in your little radio tower?" The TV headed demon commented with lots of snark.

"Ah... And I thought today would be such an amazing and surprisingly quiet day! You just LOVE ruining everything, don't you?" Alastor said with his typical grin.

Then Vox noticed the new demon beside him, he'd never seen her before...

"And who might this lovely lady be?" Vox immediately tried his manipulative tactics-- suffice to say, Alastor wasn't very happy about that.

"Excuse my language, but BACK THE FUCK UP YOU FLAT FACED BASTARD." His voice had a LOT of radio distortion, yet he didn't drop that smile.

Nora gave a look, but said nothing... He was just trying to protect his mom, she understood that.

"And why do YOU have an issue? Are you dating? With the way Halo acts, I would've thought you two were but turns out you're with someone else?" Vox smirked, but then it dropped with Alastor very visibly gagged...

And Nora looked like she was about to prove sinners could die permanently without angelic intervention.

"What-"

"Ew... I shouldn't be surprised pro-shippers would be in hell-- no offense to any pro-shippers but also full offense as well.." Halo commented while back up a little. "Heavens, no! That's disgusting! I'd rather die again in the most painful way possible!" Alastor said.

"Dear, I'm his MOTHER." She said.

Basically Cue the radio stop noise thing-

Except make it a TV.

Before Vox started laughing, "Oh so he's still being walked everywhere by his mommy?" "Oh you're so very lucky I don't want to get in trouble from her, otherwise I'd end you here and now." Alastor said with an irritated grin.

"So you admit you listen to mommy?! Ha! Pathetic! He's a mommy's boy!" Vox cackled, he couldn't stop. "I have very good reasoning... You know that odd stereotype of a joke that moms aren't the people to mess with? They aren't wrong... She may be a lovely lady... But boy can she pack a punch... It's not because.. Oh I'm a mama's boy... It's because I'm smart and would quite like to be able to live!" He said with a smile.

Vox just laughed harder, "mama? Being dangerous?!" He was cracking up...

Until Nora practically through his dumb ass.

"Not to be that guy.. buuuuttt... I told ya so!~" He cooed with a very satisfied grin.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Vox yelped, "For one, you DO NOT laugh at my son, especially considering he... slaughtered many overlords the moment he got here? Classic Alastor fashion, if I'm honest... For another, I'VE HEARD ABOUT WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS YOU ARE!" She raised her voice.

"Clearly you lacked a mother to teach you proper manners, hell you clearly even lack a decent father! Shame on you! I've heard of your fights! Don't think I'll let you go off so easy just because I didn't see it." She growled, "I'm no damsel in distress. I'm the reason his father died so early and I'm the reason his killers died not too long after they murdered him! I killed for him twice in life, I can double-- even QUADRUPLE-- that in the afterlife!" She continued, "You don't EVER mess with a mama bear. It's the worst possible idea. If you value your life, you'll flee and go home and behave like a good boy!" She scolded Vox, absolutely not a single bit of fear.

"And if I hear you've laid even a FINGERNAIL close to a single hair on him... I'll do more than tear into you verbally. I'll let you find out WHY Alastor even fears me." She was practically Vox's height, it was kinda scary how tall she ACTUALLY was.

"Am I understood?" She asks and Vox nods quickly "Uh... Y-.. Yeah..." "Hmm? What was that?" She asked, "Yes ma'am! Loud and clear!" He nods...

And he flees.

"Smart man, that one! Pleasantly surprised." She smiled as if she hadn't just threatened one of the most influential overlords...

One of the Vees, no less!

"Alastor, why didn't you tell us your mom was a FUCKING BADASS??" Halo yells, running up to Nora and running circles around her, "She's so COOL! WHAT??" They add excitedly while the woman laughs a little.

"But wait, the hell did you do to make even AL be scared of you? Abuse him? Surely not, he clearly loves you to bits and pieces!" They asked curiously.

"Sweetheart, I may be kind... Sweet... Yes, I babied him a lot! Far past when he was a small child! But I know him well. I know what works. Usually he's quite well behaved, only needing a light restriction half the time! But I wasn't AFRAID to get physical if I needed to, I just believed it wasn't the most productive way! He learned real quickly that if he disrespected me, he'd know the true meaning of fear. His father could never compare." She explained.

"I had to spank him a few times, god knows most of the time he saw my pure raw strength when his father went too far." She added, "Oh.. Yeah... I forgot about that... The majority of her physical demonstrations weren't on me! Primarily on my father whenever he laid a hand on me." Alastor nodded in agreement.

"I figured out she could likely easily overpower me, even when I hit my teenage years! One of the women that truly scared the daylights out of me... Mostly, I believed it was ME who should be protecting women, at least considering size differences.. Until you watch this woman just brute force a grown man in his 30s onto a counter because he dared to lay a hand on her kid with barely any struggle... The strength of a mom is truly horrifying.." Alastor almost shivered a bit.

"Well the strength part is true as hell! I've heard stories of moms straight up LIFTING CARS OFF OF THEIR KIDS! Adrenaline is a hell of a drug!" Halo nodded, easily believing what was being said.

Yet, despite that, Alastor couldn't help but still feel VERY protective of his mom-- That's his mom, after all! If anyone wanted to lay a hand on her, they had to go through him! Nora let him, mostly because he was always a stubborn boy, growing up, and she let him just to let him feel better... Feel stronger. She could take care of herself, but if it made him happy, who was she to argue? It meant less work for her!

Until the attack from heaven.

She WATCHED her son be harmed, she watched him almost die AGAIN. That pissed her off so much.

"YOU DARE HURT HIM?! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT ACTUAL PAIN IS!"

Hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Or, as the case may be, hell hath no fury like a mother scorned.

She kicked Adam's ass to high heaven (lmao)

It was just funny how Niffty was the one to kill him... With a stab to the back, too!

"You know what? He deserved it... I shouldn't be surprised he's so egotistical, if he was the template for men... Go figure-- Well, I'm not sure how much they've changed since the 20s? Are they still how they used to be?" Nora asked Halo and they shrugged. "We got plenty of feminist men! But... They're all drowned out by the 'alpha male' podcast guys... Tate's little stannies." They explained, "Alpha...? Tate- stannies?" She was very confused, "Nothing! Just... cringe guys who believe in women being tradition wives but not men being traditional husbands... It's wayyyyy too much to explain, you'd have to see for yourself!" They continued.

Nora immediately left to find Alastor and make sure he was OK.

Luckily he was! He nearly gave her a heart attack! "You really do need to stop being so overly confident, Hun... It'll get you killed like it did before." She softly lectured him and he sighed. "Even in death, I never escape the lectures and life lessons..." He comments, mainly under his breath. "Hm?" She gave a look-- a look he knew all too well.

"Nothing, Mama!" He quickly spoke up as she finished bandaging up some cuts, scrapes, and gashes.

Once she finished getting him all patched up-- golly, it reminded him of his grade school days! Coming home from school after some kids picked on him and hurt him... Or coming home after accidentally scraping himself when playing in the park... She was always there to softly scold him all while tending to his wounds and giving him a piece of candy afterwards!

Sometimes he thought, maybe he did it on purpose, just for the love and candy... Despite the fact he could've gotten it if he just asked... Like he had done plenty of times before.

And now the hotel was rebuilt, and even bigger and better than before! Charlie admired the hardwork everyone put into rebuilding the hotel!

"Well then!" Nora broke the silence, "I'm betting at least a few of you are starving! How about I make everyone some Jambalaya?" She asked sweetly, Alastor immediately perked up. "As long as you hVe ingredie-" Nora was about to add before suddenly Alastor disappeared... and then reappeared. "Cross the shopping off the list, even if we didn't have any earlier, we do now!"

"Of course you would," Nora laughed a little. Everyone was excited! Considering Alastor had mentioned his mom's Jambalaya when he first got to the hotel, now they were eager to try it!

Until Halo tried it and immediately was making sounds of discomfort. "Are you alright, dear?" Nora asked in a concerned tone, "It's hot! No one said it was hot!" They said while gulping their drink desperately, "Oh, I'm sorry! Are you allergic to spicy things?" She asked and they shook their head, "No, they just have a really REALLY bad spice tolerance." Vaggie explained, "Halo, darling..! It's Cajun food! Traditional Cajun food! A lot of Cajun food includes spicy ingredients!" Alastor said, "Wait is Jambalaya Cajun or Creole?" Halo asked, their tongue slowly starting to feel better, "Both, actually! It started as a Cajun cuisine, but soon the Creoles picked it up and tailored it to their tastes! The main difference is Cajun Jambalaya looks brown while Creole Jambalaya looks red, the Creole version includes tomatoes and is layered, while the Cajun one is dumped all at once and doesn't usually include tomatoes! I made the Cajun version today," Nora explained and Halo nodded.

"Yeah, sorry... I got shit spice tolerance, like... black pepper is spicy!" They said, and Nora's eyes widened. "Oh my... That's-- what do you use to season your food?!" She asks, "Well, I don't cook for one... I'm scared of the stove and burning myself-" Halo started, "Salt." Alastor said simply.

"Hm?" Nora glanced over, "Salt. They season their food with salt... so much salt... ungodly amounts of salt... It puts Husk to shame, even!" He spoke, "So much salt that they could fill an entire ocean with the amount of salt they consume. They cover their food in it to the point MOST people can't even have a single bite without it being too salty!" He continued.

"What..." "Yeah... I really... REALLY... Like salt!" Halo grinned.

It was such a long day... The fight... Rebuilding the hotel... Even just the socializing. Alastor was honestly exhausted. He never really slept, but now he WANTED to. But he couldn't. He thought back to the lyrics of some song Halo sang and really liked, apparently it was one of THEIR mom's favorite songs.

'Why do I tire of counting sheep, when I'm far too tired to fall asleep?'

He was to tired to sleep.

It was so childish, he felt like a 6 year old again, wandering down to his mom's room after the thunder woke him up in the middle of the night, dragging his blanket and pillow into the bed room and shaking his mom awake to tell her that the thunder woke him up (as if it wasn't incredibly obvious...)

But it was practically reflex. He felt like he was on autopilot!

He knocked on the door before he heard a quiet, tired, "come in!", so he opened to door. "Oh, Al! Is something wrong?" She asked, and he just shrugged a little. He looked so tired.

"You look exhausted, did you know that?" She asked as he walked over to the bed, "I had an idea..." He said quietly while laying on the bed. He almost knocked out right then. "Yes, you can sleep in here if you'd like, thanks for asking!" Nora said softly yet playfully, Alastor couldn't help but huff out a small laugh despite his exhaustion, "Too late to ask now." He mumbled.

She truly was privileged, wasn't she? She was like... the ONLY one Alastor allowed to touch him without asking, or without him initiating! And the only one who could touch his head. He didn't like physical contact much, but it was soothing when Nora did it, it was how she comforted him when he was scared as a little kid.

He couldn't help but remember when he was small, laying his head on her lap in the living room. The heavy rain hitting the windows and roof, occasionally flashes of lightning, the rolling of thunder, waking him up late at night when she was still awake and reading in the living room. She'd pet his head while she read her book while he fell back asleep, the radio was always nice background noise that also comforted him during storms. Hearing the different now obscure advertisements of the day, and then the jazz playing after a few advertisements, even just the static noise was nice!

He felt like a kid again-- maybe feeling things wasn't ALWAYS so bad, it let him feel nostalgic feelings like this! He was fast asleep before he even knew it, he didn't know when he fell asleep, but all he remembered was the feeling of mama petting his head felt soothing again, he knew he missed his mother! But... He didn't realize just how much he missed her until she was back with him again...

Some may think she's one of those weird boy moms, but no! She just really liked to baby her precious boy-- no matter how old he got, she'd always see him as her little boy who ran to her when the lightning struck and the thunder got too loud.

But even he knew that if he had EVER gotten a significant other, Nora would've likely sided with the S/O on lots of things.

He was a mama's boy through and through, that much was true! And she loved that! But she wasn't afraid to correct him and she sure as hell wasn't afraid of someone 'coming in and stealing him from her'.... God knows she WANTED that to happen, but she never pestered him about it.

How long was he out for? He felt so confused, like one of those long naps you have after school with those marks all over your body from the sheets!

"Well good morning-- technically afternoon, but still!" Nora's voice caught him by surprise-- oh, right... He went to her room and fell asleep...

"What time is it?" He asked, "almost 2 in the afternoon, dear!" She responded, he slept... For almost... 14 HOURS?! "Wait... I was asleep for--" "14 hours! You were really tired. You really need to TRY and sleep more, even if it's hard to. You worry me, you know?" She responded with a small nod.

"Yeah... But I actually feel really good after that... I haven't slept that well since I'd gotten here." He commented, "So what did it then?" She asked, "Don't know... All I really know is I was remembering when I was kid... When it would storm and the thunder was loud," He responded while he got up, his suit was all wrinkled, but oh well, he could ask Niffty to iron it later. "I remember that..! The thunder and lightning did always scare you," Nora nodded with a hum, "You didn't even change clothes before bed!" She gasped, "That's how tired I was, I suppose!" Alastor laughed a little with a little shrug.

He hugged her for a moment-- it was a quick moment, but it was a hug that told you he MEANT IT.

"Even thought I don't think you deserve to be down here... It's good to have you back, mama."

#halo; random shit #halo; writing #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon #fanfic #self indulgent #self insert #i love giving myself cameos #fuck vox lmao

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genyasafinsmissingeye · 3 years

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My Offical Ranking of the Foxes

Plz don’t bully me.

10. Seth Gordan. A homophobic plot device who was killed off in the first book.

9. Aaron Minyard. Wasted potential. Thought there was going to be character development, then it was all washed down the drain by the end of “The Kings Men.” Overall, he was very rarely featured on his own and didn’t have much of a character outside of his relationship with Andrew.

8. Nicky Hemmick. Sexually assaulted Neil and then that was just brushed over. He was a horrible queer stereotype, though I do love him in fanon.

7. Andrew Minyard. Unpopular opinion time! I don’t know if I liked Andrew that much. I sympathized with him, but I found his violence/mania to be cartoonish and cringe worthy, if not eye-rolling and uncalled for, plus inaccurate. (His scene with Katelyn was repulsive, and how many times did he stab someone in the books? Too much) He also didn’t have any character development in the canon. His backstory almost made me cry, though, and that was something that made him defenitly feel more human to me, but that was later on in the series. I have a lot of mixed feelings about Andrew.

6. Neil Josten. Unpopular opinion part two. I liked him most of the time, but unlike the other characters, we got to get to know him mainly via internal monolgue versus dialouge. Nora Sakavic can write dialogue, she cannot write a good internal monolgue, and that’s what turned me off of him for the most part. Overall, I did like him, just mainly in the fanon and during the few of his vulernable scenes.

5. Allison Reynolds. Girlboss, future milf. Just wish we could’ve gotten to know her and her story more. She did also out Neil and Andrew, and that wasn’t cool.

4. Matt Boyd. My favorite himbo. What a king. Deserved more of a character arc, however.

3. Dan Wilds. One scene determines this: When she kicked a guy in the crotch with like, six inch heels for demeaning her. I love you, wifey

2. Renee Walker. Everything about her: Her complexity, her backstory, her personality. I love everything she does. You go girl.

1. Kevin mother-fucking Day. This is a Kevin Day stan page, and if you don’t like this you can leave.

#all for the game #aftg #the foxes #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #renee walker #dan wilds #matt boyd #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #seth gordon

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schnees-and-schnugs · 2 years

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Most controversial take on the "what I'd add to Whitley's arc in Volume 8"... not give him a redemption arc and make him the saltiest, sourest, bitterest bitch the heroes would have to deal with. Like yeah Penny and Oscar were thrown in the wringer this volume but something about Whitley's treatment in the story from V4-8 just felt so cruel on a meta level that for Whitley to just be happy with the good guys not being mean to him anymore I can't accept. No if the show was going to keep painting Whitley as some scheming spiteful brat, then we should at least get some of it that would inconvenience the other characters instead of them getting in their OWN way and blaming Whitley for it #makewhitleyamenaceVolume9

Plz I can't get over how team JNR straight up dumped wine on Whitley, someone who should have some serious trauma as it relates to alcohol, as a gag and then laughed about it-

and in v8 it's like omg Whitley saved Nora's life by calling Klein 🥺- and she didn't even fucking thank him for it. They rlly didn't deserve whitley's help, he should have been such a thorn in their side. I know my petty ass would have been.

Whitley simply is just that much of a good boy <3

#but really the way the show treats whitley is abysmal and it just really shows how immature the writers really are #i hope MK/EK learn how to write like grown ass adults soon <3

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sunshinemosspup · 6 years

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which is your fav ahs season

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I CAN'T DECIDE????!!

I'm just gonna be extra as hell and list my pros and cons... get ready for a long ass answer sorrynotsorry you're dealing with a writer here:

Murder House

just gonna say it - overrated

I do appreciate it because it sparked the rest of AHS

created some iconic characters

in hindsight, at least Tate is better than Kai

still a really good concept

a bit boring at times though

Jessica Lange is fucking superb

lowkey started trend of Lily Rabe's characters either dying or already being dead and me no likey that so much

Francis Conroy talking about men is always great but I liked the more subtle hints to her speeches this time

Asylum

LANA BANA BO BANA BANANA FANA FO FANA FE FI MO MANA, LANA

Sarah Paulson and Lily Rabe were ICONIC in this season holy fckin christ

so was Jessica Lange

and Zachary Quinto

basically the characters had really good like writing and rounding out and such

but wtf was with the alien subplot??

some damn good writing

while I do not approve of Sister Mary Satan raping the monsignor I can never get "There was a priest, the dirty beast, his name was Alexander. His mighty dick was inches thick, he called it Salamander" out of my head

Jude and Kit at the end was so sweet

Coven

honestly at times bit off more than they could chew with the subplots, not all of those were really resolved

Jessica Lange somehow even more iconic

same with Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett, what QUEENS

Foxxay

seriously both Misty and Cordelia are adorable on their own, and together I just can't handle it

STEVIE NICKS

the music in this season provokes an emotional response from me

"Can we please not move things? Some of us are blind!"

*stuffs bagels into bag* "Who's takin me home?"

Myrtle Snow calmly playing that instrument while Cordelia had a breakdown

those all black looks were good shit

Freak Show

this shit was SAD AS HELL

like literally how they killed all the characters was fucking gut wrenching

also Pepper? at Briarcliff?? seeing that magazine with Elsa on it??? I cry every time

once again proved the crazy talent of Sarah Paulson

at least Lily Rabe was kinda there

despite being a little shit Dandy was a great character

last time they had some really long episodes, or at least varied between 45 min and longer, which I liked bc I think it let them do quite a bit

I want Sarah Paulson's cover of Criminal to play at my funeral or my wedding or goddamn something ugh

"We might not be on a farm but something sure smells like bullshit to me" (paraphrased)

I can't believe they made me feel so damn bad for a scary clown dude, he didn't deserve that

Hotel

the fucking style? and music? SUPERB

"I FUCKING LIVE HERE"

when Iris was gonna off herself and made that video

I have a love/hate relationship with John Lowe 'cause he kinda stupid

Evan Peters looking like Spongebob as a fancy waiter

Lady Gaga and Matt Bomer drenched in blood

everything about Liz Taylor was like beautiful

somehow the vampire thing worked

could (should) have used literally any song other than hotline bling

Devil's Night was great but then they made an inconsistency with the zodiac killer in Cult

aT lEaSt LiLy RaBe WaS kInDa ThErE

loved it when Billie came back

Roanoke

enjoyed the documentary style and kudos to Ryan for doing something different

with that being said it was pretty predictable and cliche

so damn happy to see Lily Rabe back

favorite fan promo thing I saw: "Lily Rabe is back and she has a gluten allergy and questionable judgement" (paraphrased but hilarious and accurate)

wish they had time to round out the actor characters (Audrey, Monet, etc)

RIP an accent 2016-2016

still though, it brought some good people back into the cast

good call with Adina Porter, she's amazing

"I'm not American, I'm not used to all this carnage!"

honestly a lot of Audrey's lines were great

and her reaction to Shelby's death holy fuck that honestly startled me

Cricket Marlowe looking like Danny Devito in that one episode of Always Sunny

Cult

I liked how they worked phobias into it

a good deal of the sexual stuff just made me really uncomfortable, like especially when it was directed at Ally (or Ivy I guess), idk I think as a lesbian myself it felt like they were pushing all this phallic shit on her and challenging her sexuality which just really rubbed me the wrong way (my take on it, anyway)

Ally's character development though goddamn

Ally in general, she was so fckin cute ugh

I feel like they made Ivy too dislikable? like she could've had SOME redeeming qualities but nah

Kai was fucking awful

people shit on Winter as a character but I still think Billie Lourd acted wonderfully

why do all of Emma Roberts' characters have to be such bitches? lol

still don't know how I feel about it ending with Ally supposedly like becoming leader of the SCUM group or whatever

loved that they used extreme stereotypes of both conservatives and liberals

Apocalypse

they killed Venable too soon

she and Mead were so extra together I loved it

MISTY IS BAAAAACK

again, Foxxay (they better kiss and be happy by the end of this season I stg)

Cordelia's vision was terrifying, like she got her throat torn out jfc

if Cordelia (or, hell, even Billie) die too I'm going to be 2-3 times more heartbroken than I already am about Venable

especially excited to see Mallory's character develop

I both love and hate Michael Langdon

Leslie Grossman still getting all the wack, iconic one-liners

BD Wong being in it was lowkey hilarious to me bc I've only ever seen him in SVU before

"Because I'm the FUCKING Supreme"

can't wait to get more Billie Dean Howard

Jessica Lange! it's been so long, how ya been?

where the hell did Brock go after he broke in to kill Coco? did he just fuck off back into the wastelands?

Ryan, USE LILY RABE'S TALENT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD even if she doesn't stay for long this season (plz let Misty be okay and while I don't quite think it'll happen I'm still hoping to see Nora) bring her back sometime with another major character I miss her so much

I'm excited to see more!

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essu-rwby-desu · 5 years

Photo

Episode 2: Uncovered

-SUPER LONG POST. SPOILERS-

*There may be typos, incorrect spelling, and bad grammar due to me trying to rush this and episode 3. Bare with me plz. The amount of gifs made for this was overkill and will lighten them up in the next post. Also, I will be referring to these posts as commentary since that’s what they mostly are and not reviews/reactions. Without further ado:

-Fade in from black-

~Ah Haaa ahhh ahhh Ahhh Ahhhhhhh~

So Cinder’s still alive. Not surprised tbh because of the intro.

Wait. So you’re telling me. That the vault to one of the Relics, a vault that has a gate to another dimension, is now wide open to walk in now? Oz, how about a little bit of house keeping? Oh I don’t know, maybe have some thicker walls or something???

Welp. That’s a shame. Another one bites the Dust. Poor lady didn't deserve that fate.

“We need to take the Relic to Atlas?”

I said it before, poor child had barely escaped now they have to go back.

Blake ready to throw Weiss under the bus LOL. I felt some snark coming from her haha.

“Ex-Heiress, actually.” That volume one throw back.

YANG IS ON BOARD THE “THROW THE WEISS UNDER THE BUS” TRAIN. Poor Weiss LOL.

Just look at her. ¯\_(~‿^)_/¯

The Lantern can answer any questions? Any 3 questions? So it’s like. Knowledge is power kind of thing? I guess you could say that. The Lantern’s magic is quite. Enlightening.

JESUS FUCk, NORA PLEASE.

OH MY GOD, NORA PLEASE. Your Yandere is showing.

Nora has the best characterization. So full of energy. So full of Mood.

Yang in there, Yang.

Oscar, the MVP, is on board the “Throwing People Under the Bus” Train, now featuring Ozpin.

“Do you really think Leo was the first? That he didn’t say those exact same words to me? I’m sorry, but you have to understand my behavior is backed by experience.”

I have to say Oz has it rough. Having lived multiple times only to have close allies betray him, multiple times he implies. I don’t blame him for walling himself off from others. But at the same time, his approach could be. Better? I’m not saying he should entirely trust Team RWBY, but he should really tell them all the important details of, well, everything, if he’s to lead them to stopping Salem in whatever the fuck she plans to do with the Relics.

Also shout out to Aaron Dismuke for such great voice acting on this part for Oscar/Ozpin. The way he said “Do you really think Leo was the first?” shook me.

What’s really strange about this part is that Ozpin forgot about the Relic. Like it’s very important to keep an eye on this thing right? I found it surprising that he didn’t realize he no longer had it on him for such a long time. Sure, he might have been distracted, but I feel like his priorities were kind of “Relic first” ya know?

Wtf, he’s still hiding more shit??? Oscar what are you doing.

“Her name is Jinn”?

WHO IS “HER”? AND “JINN” LIKE A DJINN? LIKE. A GENIE?

If there was ever a time for a more mature/vulgar dialogue for Team RWBY,

It would be, RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

BECAUSE:

ITS. FUCKING. GENIE.

TEN THOUSSANNNNNNNDDDDD YEARRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS CAN LEAVE SUCHA CRICK IN THE NECK. RUBY ROSE, YOU AINT NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME.

(I think this is just me but her eyes make me feel uncomfortable. I think its the lashes..??? They look SUPER huge???)

ME TOO RUBY. ME TOO.

Qrow, you don’t have to pretend to be so modest.

So where did Cinder end up exactly? She’s still somewhere in Mistral but this looks like a very Black Market-y kind of place. Also Idk why but she looks good in those clothe- I just remembered she killed someone for them. Hm.

?????SPIDERMAN????

“Looks like your life’s savings.” “It was somebodies.”

I have to admit, that was a good line. Cute indeed.

“Little Miss Malachite”. I’ll be honest I totally forgot about the Little Miss Muffet rhyme. BUT MALACHITE. I can only think of 2 other specific twins with that last name in this show! But it might just be a coincidence...

So. Okay. What I don’t understand is why is Cinder looking for RWBYJNR. She knows Raven is the Spring Maiden, but she doesn’t know that Raven gave Yang the Relic. Cinder was tossed off the edge before Yang even got down there. If anything Cinder should be looking for Raven since she might be the one with the Relic.

Hm but I guess if Raven betrayed Cinder, then Cinder could assume Raven was working with the opposing party. Hmm...

I get she got her ass whooped by Raven and is a bit jumpy, but Cinder, you’re basically an Avatar. You could wipe the floor with anyone in that building. It was implied that her powers got weakened after she crawled out of the water, but by how much? And was that even the Maiden’s power or her own semblance?

Information trade is a business. SO SOMEONE MIGHT BE LOOKING FOR CINDER.

So the first I want to bring up (with the ordering not being important) are the Malachite twins, Melanie & Miltiades Malachite. I bring this up first cuz I feel like this is the unlikely people or group looking for Cinder. Despite, again, both Little Miss and the Twins share a “last name”, I doubt they’re linked in any way. I mean one is here in Mistral while the other in Vale. The only connection the Twins would have with Cinder is Roman. And of course we see Roman’s hat fly by Cinder in the OP.

SO SECOND, which I believe is on most people’s mind is NEO. The next closest, and probably the closest person connected to Roman is probably the one looking for Cinder, since she, too, has worked for Cinder. And we don’t know if Neo actually knows what happened to Roman since she flew off the airship. And the only 2 people that might know would be Ruby Rose or Cinder Fall. And perhaps Neo has been trying to track down Ruby all the way to Mistral. But now that Ruby and the gang are leaving the continent, but Cinder is still in town, it might be easier to go after Cinder instead.

Just bring back my Neopolitan.

OKAY SO. JINN. GOD OF LIGHT. 3 QUESTIONS. But luckily, there’s 2 left.

So, one, what the fuck Oz? Why you lying? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THE QUESTIONS ALREADY BEING USED UP???

Two: WHAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION???

Three: GOD OF LIGHT??? Is this God one of the Brothers Grimm???

Again, I feel bad for Oz, but at the same time I still think he should’ve said more about, again, everything, to prevent

This. I understand keeping some deep dark secrets to yourself, but if the world is at jeopardy, then mayyybeee some of those secrets should be brought into light??? I mean look, Yang Weiss and Blake are already, and literally, up in arms. If Oz had shared more, then this situation couldve been avoided, or at the very least, diffused.

Also, Team ‘Protect Ruby Rose at ALL COSTS”

If I were Qrow, and I too, were kept in the dark, I would want to know more about everything as well. And I’m sure he trusts his niece to do the right thing.

That was quite a visceral scream.

Oz, what were you even planning to do to Ruby? Like???

Also looks like Ruby took the Red Pill cuz welcome to the fucking Matrix.

-Shameless self made gif insert- but then again arent all these gif self made?

SALEM.

DID OZ LOCK HER UP IN THE TOWER? WHO IS SALEM REALLY?? MAY YOU SUMMON ME A CHEEZBORGER???

THESE ARE MY 3 QUESTIONS, JINN. PLEASE. IM HUNGRY.

Aside from answering virtually any question and granting people an AR replay, can Jinn do any other sort of magical things? Cuz if she can conjur up some food. 👌 👌 👌

#rwby #rwby volume 6 #Essu's RWBY Reactionu #SO MANY GIFS #the next review will have a mix of screen caps and some gifs #All Gif Mode was a mistake #also my capture for these gifs wasnt the greatest....#Essu's RWBY Commentary

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