"What if I fade?"
Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.
"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.
"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."
Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.
"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."
Roach finally looks towards him.
"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."
Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.
"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.
"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."
And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.
"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."
Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.
"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."
Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?
They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.
"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."
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People on Alderaan generally like Fox. He has been a good support to the Queen and the Prince consort during the war, and hey, he has suffered enough as it is. Let’s be nice to him. He seems cool. Breha and Bail’s families like him well enough as well. They are internally a bit reserved, at first, but hey, again, Fox was a big support especially to Bail while on Coruscant, so he’s alright in their books. They will defend him if anyone says anything bad about him or clones in general, and that’s the most important thing.
But as nice as Alderaan is, there is always snobbish people, especially since it’s a rich Core World. So some Noble comes to talk to Fox, trying to maybe get a little rise out of him, since he is a Clone, and so, so much younger than the Queen and the Prince. They ask, pretending to be discreet about it, his age. He’s what, 25? So much younger than his partners -
Only for Fox to turn and look at them straight in the eye, completely serious, not giving anything away, and say, “I’m thirteen.”
Whatever the Noble was going to say next doesn’t come out. Fox stares, his expression not changing even a bit. Breha and Bail are trying their hardest not to lose it and become absolutely hysterical in the background.
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If you don’t mind I’m just gonna spill my guts about Fionna and Cake and how much it means to me, you’ve been warned lol.
To say I’ve been wanting this show for years would be an understatement. I remember watching adventure time as a kid and seeing these guys on trailers for the brand new episode. I remember watching it when it aired on tv. I remember so desperately wanting to see more.
And then the episode with marshal came out. I thought it was the coolest thing ever and loved these interpretations of the characters. Also in general adventure time has inspired me creatively, and I know many artists share the same sentiment. I remember going to a book fair in middle school and immediately begging my mom for a comic with them. (I still have that comic and read it from time to time.) A couple years go by and it’s still my favorite part of adventure time, every time I rewatched a few episodes I found myself going back to these episodes specifically.
I thought it would always just be a wish I would never see get fulfilled. They were just gender-bends of the original characters, they already made adventure time what would be the point of just slapping a new coat of paint on it? Despite accepting my reality it is always something I hope for.
You could not imagine my excitement when I saw the promo for it on Twitter. A series of Fionna and Cake. A series of them. Characters I had loved since I was a kid.
The series had been out for at least a week before me and my partner had time to watch it, and it was as if all the problems I had been dealing with as a young adult were being displayed on screen. I knew I was already attached to these characters, but the beautiful story they had made out of everything got me even more attached. I cried so much, it was like seeing old childhood friends all grown up. It was an answer to problems I thought were hopeless. Without getting too personal my life would have been a whole lot worse if it wasn’t for this series.
I know it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and with media nobody truly gets the same message or idea. But if I could cram together all the beautiful answers and lessons this show gave me in, it’s that life isn’t perfect and it’s what you make of it. And I know that seems simply or corny, but many people seem to forget that life is not just about your successes or good moments, and if you constantly try to think otherwise you will just be more miserable.
You have every right to be miserable…but you also have every right to get better and try your best at a good life. It’s going to take work, but you will find people there for you, you just have to put your trust into it too. We are all in this together and we are constantly fighting, so why not make this battle a bit easier?
You’re doing great, whoever and where ever you are, just please…don’t give up, there’s a whole life you deserve to live.
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