#please stop adopting weirdos

[cimprlina]

I'm forever DM (I have some experience and my friends wanted to try playing) and during first session our ORC barbarian decided, completely outside of combat while I was explaining how travelling, pace, rations/water and rest work, to shove the HALFLING rogue forward on the path while there was a giant (almost as big as the rogue) log right in front of them. She rolled nat20...so the rogue slammed head first into the log and took enough damage to drop down...she survived...

That was the moment I realized how unhinged the party's going to be.

#d&d #forever dm #please stop adopting weirdos #could you stop mispronouncing the npc names?! on purpose!? #unhinged party #what do you want to do with that wooden crate? please put it back #I know you are a rogue...that doesn't mean you should pickpocket your new friends #why are you all so traumatized? #i bet your tiefling is queer #of course he is #and he was tortured #-_- #aaaand the barbarian is literal mummy sorry meme

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 19

Danny outs himself and Vlad to Bruce Wayne at a gala. Why because he thinks Bruce is Batman’s sugar daddy. Best way to get a message to him obviously. Turns out he didn’t have to Jazz was at the gala and punched Vlad straight in the face.

So vlad finally gives up on Maddie. Maybe she found out he was half ghost and tried to kill him not really too important. Vlad is a sore loser

Meaning he kills Maddie, jack, and Danny’s friends to isolate him. Jazz is away at Gotham U and Vlad doesn’t bother to check that everyone was there when he killed them.

Danny is trapped at vlad manors like how sam was with the tiara. Anyone who may not know or recall the episode a bs princess contest was hosted sam won, weirdo with a castle (much like vlad) decided to trap her with a magic crown. She just couldn’t leave the castle (now like Danny)

Jazz thinks Danny died in the explosion. Vlad paid the custody lawyers and cops hush money as to not alert anyone Danny was alive. He needed to keep his little badger “safe”.

Vlad now has no one to stop him and has his perfect son in his grasps. He turns to world domination.

Time passes and word of Vlads adoptive son gets out. Both get invited to many galas. Danny has no say in anything and is just trying to get the damn watch off. Vlad only agree to go to the Wayne’s gala as he had never been invited before.

After a few safety precautions. Sending his ghost animals ahead to essentially hold the rich hostage. Danny would behave if it meant keep others safe after all. So the watch gets taken off for a shocker and way to prevent him from using his powers for the trip to Gotham.

Danny is just thinking of Tucker’s theory that Bruce is Batman’s sugar daddy. Sam just thought he was Batman.

So Danny writes a note addressed to Bruce.

Basically says hey vlad is plasmius. He’s a fruitloop killed my family and friends to adopt me. Please help. Btw vlad rigged the gala with ghost in case i tried anything. He has me and them connected to the totally secret remote in his front pocket. Shocks me and makes the animals attack. Don’t be mean to them. He experimented on my animal friends. So like don’t be suspicious and please pass this on to batman. Pretty sure your his sugar daddy Hence the note to you.

He does manage to pass the note on. Bruce and his kids all kinda look at him in shock.

Only then does jazz walk in with some dude with a white streak. She looked at him then vlad. Then him again. Vlad was sweating. Danny was grinning.

She then immediately decks him and tackels vlad. All while Bruce reads the note.

Dick and Jason are now involved. Danny is yelling about the remote. It goes flying Damian catches it. The ghost animals appear. Danny tells which button to click. Damian frees the ghost animals and danny from there collars or in Danny’s case watch.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc crossover #vlad is not a good guy #jazz and Jason are cute together #they saw her moun Danny hence there shock #Danny had been to busy trying to escape to process his emotions #jazz is older in this #the bat kids find it hilarious when they find out Danny thought Bruce was a sugar daddy #Bruce is reading the letter just like wtf #before he can do anything the Chaos was too much for him to salvage #Jason is down for a smack down #dick is trying to not cause anymore of a scene #Damian befriends the ghost animals after he fried them #cass actually came down from the roof #vlad gets arrested #jazz was mourning his human life #she new he’s be a full ghost #when vlad went nuts she assumed he had her brothers ghost #she was the one who hinted that they should invite vlad #she wasn’t gonna out him. what if he hurt Danny #jazz is a good sister #Danny’s rouges come to check in him once they can feel his signature #cujo is the first one #cujo likes Damian and Damian wants to steal cujo #jazz calls vlad out for making her think her only brother was dead immediately after she tackles him

[yoongiseesawmp3]

get you (bonus) - cheol gets a dog?

summary: uhhhh i’m weak for cheol x kkuma content? and i feel like it’s a crime that y/n is the only pet parent in this fic. so enter everyone’s favorite fluffy girl. or the one where y/n finds a dog on cheol’s couch and is very confused. 

word count: 1.1k

masterlist - you can find the main parts of get you here

it’s been another one of your busy weeks where your schedule just doesn’t seem to match up with cheol’s. he spent the night on monday, but aside from that you haven’t spent more than a few minutes with him since. it’s friday now, and you miss your boyfriend. you shoot him a text that you’re coming over whether he likes it or not, please unlock the door. he tells you he just got back from the gym so he’s taking a shower, but you’re welcome to come over whenever. you’re about to grab a jacket and head over, but then you think better of it. it’s been unseasonally cold lately, and you need the extra coverage since cheol keeps his apartment frozen like an icebox. you decide instead to just sneak one of his hoodies while you’re over there today. 

you’re thinking about the last time you saw his blue hoodie when you finally walk over, wondering if you’ll have time to find it before he gets out of the shower. your thoughts are interrupted by a sound on the couch, and you jump slightly at the door before realizing it must just be cheol. you walk toward his living room, a term of endearment ready on your lips, but you stop cold when you see something fluffy and white moving around amongst the blankets. you’re afraid it might be a rat, or something else you don’t want to deal with, so you walk up slowly, hoping you don’t provoke it. as you’re trying ridiculously to walk across the room without making a sound, cheol clears his throat at the start of his hallway.

“whatcha doin baby?” he asks, gummy smile on display. “you’re being weird.”

“cheol,” you hiss, “there’s something on your couch!”

“yeah, that’s kkuma,” he says simply, toweling his hair as he walks into the room. “wanna meet her? she’s really sweet.”

“what?” you ask, confused. “what is she?”

“my dog,” he replies as he drops the towel on his coffee table.

“your dog? since when do you have a dog?”

“since i fell for this sweet little face,” he coos, scooping up the fluffball and presenting her to you. you are met with a sweet little face, complete with a hair clip (one of yours, somehow?) holding her bangs out of her eyes. “i mean come on.”

“when did you get her?” you whisper, afraid of spooking her as you take a step closer. you reach a hand out and she sniffs experimentally, but she decides you’re safe and starts licking your knuckles. 

“i don’t think i told you that i was dogsitting for a friend this week,” cheol starts, beckoning for you to sit next to him on the couch. as he continues, he lets kkuma crawl into your lap and get comfortable. “she belongs to a family friend, but they’ve been having trouble taking care of her so i offered to watch her short term. i think i’m gonna ask if i can adopt her though. my friend is already on board, just need to check with his parents, but i think they’ll be happy to know she’s going to a loving home.”

“i can’t believe you got fred a little sister without me knowing,” you say suspiciously, laughing when kkuma hops up to lick your chin. “she’s precious though.”

“not as cute as you, but cute,” cheol replies, and you bump him with your shoulder.

“i like her hair clip,” you say, playing with the hair popping out. “looks familiar.”

“hey, that’s what you get for leaving shit at my house,” he laughs. “speaking of fred though, can we introduce them? you think he’ll be jealous?”

“please, he won’t know what to do around her,” you tell him. “i think he has puppy anxiety or something, he’s such a weirdo around other dogs.”

“i think your dog is just a weirdo, baby,” cheol teases.

“maybe,” you sigh, scooting kkuma back into cheol’s lap so you can stand. “you want me to get fred and we can take them on a walk? i feel like that’s an easy way for them to be around each other at first.”

“sounds good,” cheol nods. you start to walk away but he whines in protest, making you turn back. he makes a grabby hand for you and you give him yours in return, so he pulls you closer and swoops in to give you a kiss. then, against your lips, he says, “you forgot to do that when you came in.”

“well i was afraid there was an intruder on your couch,” you say before kissing him again. “so forgive me if i was distracted.”

“hm, one more and then you’re forgiven,” cheol smiles. you happily oblige, your cheeks still warming at the way his lips feel on yours. 

“i’ll be right back,” you tell him, shuffling toward the door before you turn back around. “hey, where’s your blue hoodie?”

“um, in my room, why?”

“go get it, i need a jacket if we’re going on a walk.”

“you’re literally going back to your place, grab one there,” cheol starts, turning around to look at you, but your serious expression shuts him up. “fine. go get the boy and i’ll get the hoodie.”

“thank you my love!”

-

happily warm in cheol’s hoodie (he sprayed his cologne on this before he gave it to you, you just know it) you start on your regular walk with fred. he did well meeting kkuma, just some curious sniffs and one or two awkward barks to get to know her. now they’re happily wandering the sidewalk together as you and cheol walk hand in hand. 

you start to notice a new feeling in your chest the longer you walk, and it reminds you of the way you felt when you first fell in love with cheol. it’s a feeling not quite in your chest, but like your heart is rising to your throat and trying to come out and speak for itself. it’s trying to say that you’re happier in this moment than you think you’ve ever been, but you don’t know how to say that to cheol. you don’t know how to put into words the love you feel for him and your furry friends, but he reads your mind and tries for you.

“this is nice,” he says, squeezing your hand. “it’s like we’re a little family.”

“hm,” you hum. “i guess it is. we’re really living out that young adult trope, we’ve got dogs instead of kids but we’re calling ourselves a family.”

“because we are,” cheol whines. “kkuma is my daughter, fred is your son, i’m the dad, you’re the milf-”

“cheol-”

“hm?” he asks, a cheeky smile on his face. you just shake your head and laugh at him, squeezing his hand harder in yours.

“i love you a lot, i hope you know that.”

“i do baby,” he replies, kissing the top of your head. 

#seungcheol #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol fic #seungcheol drabble #seungcheol one shot #seungcheol imagine #cheol fluff #cheol imagine #cheol drabble #cheol one shot #scoups fic #scoups imagine #scoups drabble #scoups one shot #scoups fluff #choi seungcheol #choi seungcheol x reader #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen one shot #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader

[minnow-doodle-doo]

can you tell us more about tim in ur SoA au please? i wanna know how he gets adopted here if he does and his relationships to everyone else. plus his reactions to jasons… Big Day we’ll call it and bruce’s eventual. Big Day of his own. (i dont wanna say the D word ): )

Of course! (sorry for the late reply I don't check my inbox very much lol) I'm gonna ramble so everything is gonna go below the cut.

Anyways, so Tim and Jason meet at Gotham Academy. They become best friends (their only friend) because A) Jason is the new poor kid in a rich private school where everyone has known each other since kindergarten. B) Tim is 3 years younger than everyone and is a big weirdo.

Tim follows (stalks) Jason home one day and kind of just starts coming over every day. Tim's parents fired the nanny recently due to some extramarital stuff, and when they are about to go on their next dig, Bruce suggests to his parents that Tim stays with them so he does. Every time they are out of town (at least 3/4 of the year) Tim lives at their house, where he shares a bunkbed with Jason.

Then Jason 'dies'.

Tim moves into Dicks old room, by himself, and he is trying to support Bruce who has become like a second dad to him, through his grief while trying to push his away. It's very messy like grief usually is.

Things are bad, and his parent's company tanks, so they start sending him to public school. Where he has to come out of his shell cuz he doesn't have Jason anymore for him to lean on.

He makes friends with Steph, and a bunch of other kids through the Justice League.

Okay, I'm gonna stop cuz this is getting convoluted but he does get adopted after his dad dies, but he's been living with the Waynes way before that.

#dc #SoA AU #tim drake

[fair-night-starry-tears]

Based on all the Nezu morning announcements but it’s Sato calling out everyone to schedule them a meeting with them to talk about emotions

- -

Sato, on the intercom: good morning everyone. This is Mister Suzuki and this is the morning announcement. Or well, call out thanks to Miss Sakamaki and Mister Felix. So let’s start this off

Everyone: oh no- the nice therapist dad is gonna do it-

Sato: to the person who wrote “Vil Schoenheit and Erik Venue will be the bane of my existence” I hope you know I recognize your handwriting, I know who you are. Please meet me in my office. But also be careful because you have a target on your back now and I say duck when you pass your hunter.

Also Sato: to the young students sleeping in the library after school hours, we are going to talk about it and yes MX. I am also going to include you for not sleeping on time. You will meet me after a student.

Again Sato: to the student who wrote “Crowley sucks eggs” I’m not letting this slide and miss Sakamaki, I know this is you. I recognize aggressive writing. Don’t deny it. Come to my office immediately and I will give you a better idea to put that rage into something else.

Again Sato x2: and to everyone else, I expect you to visit my office after hours because I believe you are all on the verge and I will be right here. And to Mister Crowley, this includes you for your family issues and we will work on being better of yourself. Just because you’re an adult and making choices. You’re also very close to self destructing yourself and your spouses don’t need a pile of blot to have an emotional connection. Please meet me after my appointments and I will assist you because I feel like this a layer I should unravel. Have a good day students. Also to the student who wrote “Mister Suzuki, please adopt me.” I would love to but you’re making me worry over the fact this is the 709th note in the suggestion box. Please stop asking me. I have too much dad cups and I’m sure you’re making it close to a thousand.

@adrianasunderworld @mangacupcake @writing-heiress @the-weirdos-mind @skboba-stars @nproduction626 @rose-tea-and-strawberries @anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @achy-boo @abyssthing198 @zexal-club @liviavanrouge

Edit: there’s a new guy now for the first callout

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst #marron ocs #twst oc #sato suzuki #Sato: I’m a child psychology major yet I feel like I’m majoring therapist for these guys and prefects #Sato the NRC dad of everyone

[badlysummedupmoviestournament]

Round 7 - Semi-finals!

If you recognize the movies hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.

Movie n°1: Crashing Waves

Two gal pals who live a cottagecore esque life with each other and have matching heart shaped necklaces end up going shopping only to come home to discover their house has been burned down by an arsonist. One of the items they bought reveals itself to be possessed by the spirit of an intern who got themselves accidentally trapped in there after trying to escape one of her bosses, who sent the arsonist to burn down their cottage. The intern suggests the two girls steal her other bosses’ stuff to defeat the evil one and the girls agree. The evil boss tries to stop them but learns they are immune to her current tactics due to the power of their platonic girl love necklaces, so the villain tries out a different tactic involving convincing the girls to buy free real estate, but one of the girls doesn’t like the house so they break up. After saving the other from being kidnapped, the two girls reconcile and pretend to drown themselves in order to steal from the boss. This works but the intern sacrifices themself in the process to save them. In order to revive the intern, the two girls summon the bosses’ shared house. This also works, freeing the trapped internist but also summoning the villain and the arsonist in the process. The girls use the stolen items to finally defeat the two, landing the intern a promotion. When the intern offers the girls to join them, the girls decline, choosing to instead live in the woods together with their newly adopted dogs.

Movie n°2: Check out your kids' candy

After quitting his job, a nerd receives a book from his dead relative and goes on a trip with a bunch of weird people (one of whom had just been bailed out of prison) to a strange city. Along the way, a few of the weirdos become his friends. One of them wants to steal this cool rock from the city, but the nerd says they can't take it because a bunch of people will die if they do. The rock gets stolen anyway but the nerd and his friends get it back after a fight on hovercraft and a big balloon thing. Everyone but the nerd goes home and concocts an elaborate cover-up story that includes the death of the nerd.

#movies summed up badly tournament #tournament poll

[strugglinguist]

Hey so we’re about to bring a third black cat home, and that’s really playing hard with the Fibonacci Cat Sequence (you can have 3 cats but not 4… because 2 + 3 is 5. If you adopt a 4th cat, the universe will give you a fifth). Anyway. We’re about to have three nearly identical cats of various types of unhinged, fluffy, and rather large for domestic cats. Oh and they’re black cats, so they’re loud as shit. So behold… the roster:

Cat #1: Kaya. 3 years old. Domestic American Shorthair. She is our sleek house panther and ethereal entity and agent of chaos. She is obsessed with ropes and cords, and she doesn’t settle for nibbles. She strikes quickly and many a computer or charger cable have bit the dust. Beware. She’s cute, but holy hell. We got her at 10 weeks old, and we just live in her world.

Cat #2: Bigby. Also 3 years old. Something fluffy. Just so fluffy. He came along at 7 months old as a “risky adoption” because he “really loves cats but doesn’t show well because he hisses.” And so without ever meeting him, we brought up this fluffy ball of anxiety and full time Drama Queen. We adopted him shortly after our older cat passed away, and he took up her mantle well. His favorite activity is screaming at the top of his lungs. To remind you with an eerie accuracy that it is 8:30 PM EST and would you please feed me now or a midnight warrior cry… or just existing. He also knows how to channel all of his density into his toe beans and is incapable of landing anywhere without sounding like a bag of bricks had landed.

And next week, we’ll be bringing home our new roommate’s family’s cat named Edgar. I don’t know him well yet, but…

Cat #3: Edgar. Ageless. Maybe 4? Ish? Time is an illusion. He is reportedly “the sweetest floofy boy ever” and seems to be the fluffy gigantic black cat version of Eeyore. He’s been self-isolating because he’s not a fan of the dogs in the house, and he’s stopped self grooming. So he’s currently a matted mess in need of some real love, and we’re gonna give it to him! Welcome to the weirdo house, Sir Edgar! I can’t wait to love on him and make him look so weird as a little shaved boy.

#cats #my cats #black cats #three cats is so many cats #but we were hopelessly obsessed before #now we will commit #Kaya #Bigby #Edgar

[naviclenek0]

I'm just gonna go on a small rant about how the P5 community treats Shutaba and how it's genuinely kinda dumb in a way. It really tires me how when anyone sees a fan who is playing or just discovering Persona 5 for the very first time and realizes the chemistry behind Futaba and Ren (Joker) and ultimatly starts shipping them, gets bashed on by anyone with saying "omg they're literally brother and sister that's gross ew, nasty ass proshipper" It happened to me, I discovered P5 not that that long ago and I tried joining fandom spaces and it was.. hell. So I'm hoping that this could hopefully help someone and maybe stop those toxic people who literally start crying and labeling stuff with extreme terms. First of all, Ren is NOT Sojiro's adopted son. He's more like his protégé, his student in the coffee, curry, café, womanizing (lol), ect spaces. He only "took him in" because he's the only one who said yes to taking in a guy on probation. And I see many many MANY people try to argument against this with parts of the games where characters mention that she's like a little sister. Wanna know the fun part about Persona? You get to CHOOSE if you want Futaba as your silly sister or gremlin girlfriend, OMG amazing right??? And there's even parts where you yourself can make remarks about being family and she'll just be there like: "Are you fr?? Weirdo" I'm not here to bash on anyone who likes them as the coffee/curry sibs, it's not my cup of tea because the fact that they're so touchy and close disturbs me when thinking of them as sibs, but if you like it, go for it! It's cute tbh But just because you see them as sibs, doesn't mean you have the right to call someone a proshipper for liking them as a couple, Futaba deserves to be with the man who saved her life and fans get to do as they please, that's the magic of having freedom and being able to CHOOSE. It now scares me to interact with the fandom because of how many times I've been attacked to the point I just gotta shut off the pc and let the anxiety flood away, I can't even make friends with ppl with the same interest, in the english P5 fandom because of that. Good thing is the spanish speaking Persona community is chill and knows that drama about said ship is honestly stupid. Basically just, let people do as they please, go touch grass and if you don't like the path someone took in game, then just block or don't interact with that thing. IRL you can't block people but online you can, so you shouldn't rage or seeth about it, especially about a game. Saying someone is a proshipper by shipping Shutaba is like saying someone is a criminal and a violent person for playing Fortnite or that horror artists are sick and twisted people just because of their stories. Instead, actually go after those who are problomatic like those who genuinely ship Kotone/FeMC with Ken.

#shutaba #persona #persona 5 #discourse #persona 5 royal #persona 5 scramble #persona fandom #ᓚᘏᗢ

[thekatebridgerton]

Okay but imagine a Bridgerton AU, taking place in a fantasy world where dragons, knights, mermaids, and fairies live. The Bridgertons are a royal family and have a tradition where the princes find their true love by rescuing them. Cue ABC going on their journey and hearing rumors of a beautiful maiden who lives trapped in a tower/works for an evil step family/being held prisoner in a castle surrounded by thorns by a beast. Except when the brothers come to "rescue" said maidens, the girls claim they don't need to be rescued and they have the wrong maiden.

Kate: Is an enchantress who uses the tower in the woods to test our her latest spells and tends to stay so late that she just sleeps there overnight a lot. Her latest spell caused her to have extremely long hair and that wasn't a witch coming to see her, but her step-mother bringing her food because Kate forgets to eat when she gets into it. If only that arrogant prince would listen to her and stop trying to get her to leave!

Sophie: Ran away from her evil step family and works for Kate's family who are amazing employers and treat her like family. She has a comfy bed, good clothes, and gets paid to just help around the house! Please leave her alone Prince Benedict. She's pretty sure Cinderella from the next town over would suit his hero complex and she even has an evil step-family!

Penelope: Her grandmother was apparently a fairy and Penelope seems to have inherited her powers. Marina's children also inherited these powers and consequently turned their wizard father into a beast and now she's figuring out how to reverse the spell while training them (wizard magic can't undo fairy magic apparently). The thorns? Oh Phillip put those up because people kept stealing his flowers which is very rude! Plus why would she want to leave when her best friends home has the most amazing library? The green eyed prince is handsome but she's pretty sure he's got the wrong house.

Cue various misunderstanding, bickering, and magic as these couples somehow fall in love.

Aka the: YOUR HIGHNESS, THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE! AU

You have no idea how much I love all twisted fairytales au stories

I wish someone would write this. Because I love the idea of Penelope being the fairy who is hanging out in Phillip's castle encouraging adventurer princess Eloise to "break the curse" while also trying to convice Prince Colin that no she is not a princess herself and she doesn't need rescuing, the beast is her FRIEND can't he see that she's trying to help him!!. Does he think someone of her height is completely human? why won't he leave her and her library alone.

I would love for Sophie to just lay her frustrations up on Benedict like "You want to rescue me?? EXCUSE ME where were you four years ago when I was actually being abused by an evil step mother? here's the law dude, I had to rescue myself, no prince did it for me! now I got a nice job, a nice cottage in the back of these nice witches castle and manage a lot of money, because they have a Dragon and I'm in charge of all their accounting! So kindly buzz off Prince Benedict, I have a couple hundred of rubies to put in the bank"

And I love how you guys agree with me that in every fairytale au Kate has magic powers. this woman was not born to be a princess. Kate is a good witch! the whole hexing a whole country to sleep for a thousand years is just a rumor! she just wants to be left alone in her castle in the woods with her friends and her dragon. Yes she adopted a kid that's young enough to be her baby sister, but Lucy is there voluntarily because her parents traded her for some magic lettuce that Kate grows in her garden. And Kate figured that if her parents were okay with selling Lucy off to a witch in exchange for fertility lettuce then the little girl was better off with her. Who knows in the future those weirdos might find someone worse to sell Lucy to, who wouldn't treat the child well. Kate is NOT evil. And also, she likes her hair long okay. She's burned herself bald too many times playing with her dragon. She's a fan of hair growth spells and that's not a crime.

So what if Kate played a prank on a knight or two and made them believe the tower in the woods didn't have stairs and the only way up was climbing her hair. She didn't expect the actual guy sitting on to the throne, to be the one stupid enough to TRY. What is wrong with King Anthony?? is he seriously that bored ruling his kingdom?? why won't he leave her alone?? You know this is why arrogant guys like him end up as frogs. They go around bothering witches in their towers and one day she loses her patience and he loses his human body. Kate can relate to whoever did that to King Edmund in his youth. If the man was half as annoying as his son, then the spell was well deserved.

(One day Kate is going to end up as THAT queen that everyone thinks is out to offer poisoned apples to her own kids if they don't behave and the rumor will be Anthony's fault and she will turn him into a donkey as payback)

#more fairytale aus #kanthony #polin #benophie #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #sophie beckett #benedict bridgerton

[jittyjames]

iconic things my friend has said as hamilton characters (no context)

alexander: what do you mean you would never curb stomp anyone??? i have a list of people. honestly, it’s not hard to get on that list either.

john: all i ever do is yearn. it’s my favorite hobby.

lafayette: it’s all about the croissants, baby. if the croissant isn’t going to be there, neither will i.

hercules: i was obsessed with spies and shit as a kid. i wanted to be one so bad. i imagined the blue secret agent guy from club penguin was my dad… wait. that sounds really pathetic. don’t think about that last part too much, actually.

washington: i’m never having children. i will be adopting friends, and adopting friends ONLY. you wanted a parent? too bad. you get a bestie.

eliza: *sobbing* THE MOUSE IS AN ORPHAN

angelica: *aggresively pushes the lock button of her car every time a man walks by while waiting in the parking lot for her chinese takeout*

peggy: i could fall into a fuckin’ lake and my family wouldn’t notice for like…two days.

jefferson: for the love of god, please stop singing about alexander hamblin for five seconds

burr: well, she's a whore. whores don't get cupcakes.

madison: *singing* i’m about to have a panic attack over this dumbass paper and this dumbass man

maria: ok but like… what if i were to just sleep with them a little bit, and then i find a church later to pray it off.

philip: why the hell would i save that much money? i’d rather have fun with it now than accidentally die and have it all saved up for nothing. we’re here for a good time, not a long time.

BONUS

~~~

hamilton: how the fuck do i continue to make the worst career decisions in the world?

jefferson: trust me, it’s not just your career decisions that are the worst

hamilton: … the fuck is that supposed to mean?

~~~

eliza: (to alexander) i haven’t heard from you all day. i assume you’re writing your strange little words again?

alexander: ye

eliza: i love that for you, you little weirdo.

#hamilton

[happi-tree]

Terrow and/or oakworthy?

Hey, Rae! Hope you're having a beautiful day 💜💜💜

First up: Terrow!

While they're not my absolute favorite of the kiddad ships, I love them and also their potential dynamic! I diiiiiid have a fic idea lined up for them at one point that is still very dear to me so mayhaps. Eventually. I'll give it a shot sbdfakbffs. I think they'd be SO cute together and... I don't want to necessarily say good for each other bc like there still would definitely be issues but maybe the two of them would actually be one of the pairs to talk out their issues. I really think Terry and Sparrow have such an interesting dynamic to explore - they're both such observant people and kind of the therapist friends of the group by default (Sparrow as the lovewolf, Terry as the son of a therapist). I'd love to see how they'd navigate a relationship together - it's something that holds a lot of potential to me!

Up next: Oakworthy!

THEY ARE. SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD I NEED THEM TO KISS I NEED THEM TO KISS PLEASE FOR ALL THE GROSS TEENAGERS OUT THERE!!! Okay now that that's covered I think Oakworthy actually has so much depth to it beyond them being gross weirdo overdramatic rival(!!!) silly guys in love (though that very much is an important and vital part of their appeal). Normal and Hermie are both struggling so much with their identities this season and kind of. Foil each other in that respect. And what is SO interesting to me in the aftermath of episode 31 is where it all goes from here (obviously). Like, Normal's entire life has been turned upside down with the revelations about his family, the discovery of his powers and his attunement to the Doodler, and he threw off the identity he so desperately clung to in order to help his friends fight for a better world and save his family and fix this catastrophic mess. And now, with Teeny stolen, there's a very real chance that Normal can never get that part of himself back, creating even MORE identity issues and problems in the process (Normal is a cleric and Teeny is his idol, and having that taken from him is devastating on so, so many levels as both the source of his power and of his personal beliefs and ideals). On the flip side, Hermie ALSO had no idea what the fuck he was getting into - he just wanted the costume, but he just had to commit himself to the performance and in the process he learned that (1) something is inherently fucked up with these teenagers and also they're probably the only ones who can stop,,, whatever happened to Tony Pepperoni at the dance, (2) the world is ending apparently? has been ending???, (3) he's adopted, and (4) he's never been human because he's actually half non-euclidean trickster and half demon. Like, the "I'm either disassociating or this is who I am" line is SO MUCH to me actually. He just wanted to do something for his school and then he ended up with his entire identity stripped away from him! Who is Hermie? How is he supposed to know? And then, after everything, he goes and circles back and steals the mascot outfit - and, I might be eating my words with this one come Tuesday, so take this with a grain of salt - he steals Teeny, and this reads to me like he's doubling down on the person he used to be and reprising that role in an attempt to mentally push down those feelings of not knowing who the fuck he is anymore. Which, you know, valid! But his actions are stripping away a huge piece of Normal's identity in the process, therefore rendering Normal incapable of doing the very thing that Hermie is attempting to do - use his previous persona as a sort of safety net, a safer place to return to from a bygone era when things were simpler and he was just a regular kid, more or less. And I think that there's something pretty poetic about that.

Oh my god, that got long. Um, yeah, anyway, I think the world needs more representation of disgusting weirdo-for-weirdo teenagers being in love and I think Oakworthy should be that representation. Please I need them to kiss. Like. Pretty please I'm begging.

#i. did not mean to write a short essay on oakworthy being foils but uh. yeah them's my Thoughts!!! #sorry this took 380475823 years as you can see i was uh. busy #anyway love BOTH of these ships so much and I hope to god i can finish my oakworthy fic before tuesday and canon smashes it to pieces <3 #thanks for the ask lovebird! #ask game #raemeh #dndads #terrow #oakworthy #happi rambles

[ridiasfangirlings]

So many "Munakata is like Fushimi's dad" ask on here... so I guess if Munakata marries Mikoto then Mikoto is like Fushimi's step-dad. How does Fushimi feel about this? He didn't agree to get sort of adopted by these weirdos.

Poor Fushimi, I just imagine both of them treating him like their kid and Fushimi is just sitting there like ‘I did not consent to either of you being my dad.’ Of course Munakata probably means it seriously while Mikoto just finds it amusing, he does like Fushimi but it’s pretty funny to see Fushimi get indignant whenever Mikoto calls himself Fushimi’s stepdad (and hey for all we know Munakata did do some kind of adoption shenanigans to get Fushimi into S4, since Fushimi was a minor and it’s not like they’re going to ask for his mom’s blessing). Munakata’s naturally been enjoying his self-proclaimed status as Fushimi’s father figure, so then he marries Mikoto and now Fushimi has a stepdad that he also didn’t ask for and refuses to recognize. 

Maybe Fushimi stops into Munakata’s office one day to deliver a report and Mikoto’s there lounging on Munakata’s chair and being an obstruction, just because they’re married doesn’t mean he can’t still tease Munakata when he feels like it. Fushimi rolls his eyes and is like should I give you two some room and Munakata assures him that this is no trouble and please continue with the report. Fushimi also happens to be a little banged up because he just finished a solo mission and didn’t bother stopping at the infirmary first, standing beside him to look at the report Munakata notices the bruises and starts fussing. Fushimi grumbles that he’s fine and Munakata doesn’t need to play parent with him. Munakata grins and wonders if Fushimi sees him as a father figure, before Fushimi can reply with something sarcastic Mikoto wonders out loud if this means he’s Fushimi’s stepdad now. 

Fushimi straight up chokes, he expects this out of Munakata but he didn’t think Mikoto went for this kind of play acting. Even worse is that Munakata is intrigued by this idea and tells Mikoto that he will need to become a good role model for his child. Mikoto snorts and says Munakata’s too uptight a parent and Munakata says on the contrary, it’s clear Mikoto is too lenient as seen by the fact that Munakata was able to adopt Fushimi-kun away from Homra in the first place. He uses the actual word ‘adopt’ and Fushimi is like ‘excuse me’ because he doesn’t remember being adopted thanks. Mikoto is enjoying this now so he gets up and pats Fushimi’s head as he walks by, telling Fushimi to be a good kid. Fushimi is just seething now like it’s bad enough taking this from Captain don’t you start too. Unfortunately for him he’s absolutely been adopted now, Mikoto figures it could do the kid good to have some extra looking after and Munakata is pleased to see Mikoto taking an interest in his family so now poor Fushimi is being aggressively parented and he’s like maybe you two could take after my actual dad and die now. Munakata just thinks Fushimi-kun is being a little rebellious and Fushimi sighs and resigns himself to being cared for.

#Mikorei #Fushimi Saruhiko #Talking K #congrats Fushimi you have two dads now #he didn't ask for either one #and would like them to leave him alone #Munakata's probably touched that Suoh wishes to co-parent #Mikoto just thinks it's funny seeing saru grumble

[itwoodbeprefect]

*in Oliver Twist voice* Please, sir, may I have two more? (for the WIP meme)

17. I love you sounds different if you’re saying it to a guy you’re sleeping with

20. The soap opera fix

oh gosh. yes! and you can also have a cookie: 🍪

-

I love you sounds different if you’re saying it to a guy you’re sleeping with

this is technically part of a series i started once upon a time, but there are also four more parts between what’s already posted and this WIP, so that doesn’t bode incredibly well for this fic. i could decide to cut it loose, though - it could work outside of the context of that series just fine, potentially.

it’s pretty much what the title probably implies: they start sleeping together, things turn explicitly romantic between them, and one morning not long after they run into the fact that suddenly “i love you” is a very weighty combination of words. steve says it anyway, and takes great pains to tell danny that he doesn’t have to if he can’t, and danny has a ramble about how he couldn’t tell melissa he loved her, but the point isn’t (like steve briefly expects) “this is the past, so i hope you understand what you’ve gotten yourself into”, it’s “the i love you thing with melissa wasn’t really about saying i love you, it was about who and what is a priority in my life, and i’m buying a house with you, weirdo, of course i love you” (and also steve has always been a priority in danny’s life, and that doesn’t stop because they’re having sex now, so neither do the i love yous).

-

The soap opera fix

this one is part of the original run of roughly a dozen fix-it fics i started writing very soon after the finale aired, so there’s a certain degree of spite showing through here i think. it’s a finale... AU? tag scene? AU tag scene? in which after steve says goodbye, danny joins the team in the living room of the mcgarrett home and they all have a sad our-friend-left drink, and then the door flies open and steve falls inside with blood on his face:

Before Danny has another moment to take stock of the situation, he’s already up, forgetting about his cane or his own barely healed injuries in an attempt to help keep Steve upright. Steve barely seems to need it, but he’s harried-looking and disbelieving and a little furious when he squeezes Danny’s arm to the point of pain, looks around the room at all the wide-eyed faces, and spits, “Why the hell did none of you come to find me?”

which is when it turns out that steve has a doppelganger, oh noes! the real steve was kidnapped during his evening run, and the doppelganger was the one with them for the last day who said goodbye to all of them to go fly off with catherine, so pretty soon they’re all racing to the airport to keep cath from getting on a plane with a potentially dangerous definitely creepy guy, and this explains why steve heard danny say he’s depressed and told him he has a phone and then walked away (it’s because it wasn’t steve), and it has danny going “wow, i’ve never been more glad to be a coward” and steve’s like “you’re not a coward” and danny goes “well, i very nearly kissed you when you said bye, but it’s a good thing i didn’t, because it wasn’t you”.

in the end cath doesn’t get on the plane with the doppelganger, and it turns out he looks so much like steve because he’s steve’s twin brother that john never knew about because doris gave him up at birth, and he’s Evil because that’s what happens if you’re an orphaned twin on a soap opera (or, let’s face it, on h50), and he was trying to torture steve by stealing the One Thing steve truly cares about - [insert dramatic reveal music here] HIS GIRLFRIEND. (steve’s twin is not the best criminal mastermind.)

also. steve’s twin’s name is stan. because around these parts we like making danny suffer in irrelevant little ways.

also also. there’s some doris dragging involved:

“How is it possible that I never knew about you? Where were you all these years?”

“I was given up for adoption without our father’s knowledge. I spent the first thirty years of my life tracking down my birth parents, and when I finally found our mother, she told me never to contact you because you were her favorite and she was afraid it might be the thing that would finally make you realize she was not an entirely stable person.”

#does the soap opera fix make much logical sense? no. of course not. but neither does the show so i actually think it fits incredibly well #thank you for playing!! 🎉 #h50 #ask #*

[jenniferj0liee]

Whisper To A Scream: 1986

Stranger Things & Scream AU Story.

(In this story, Barb and Nancy never knew eachother. Jim Hopper is a murder victim and his killer (Ghostface) is still on the loose. Because of Jim's murder, Jane (011) was put into foster care and was later adopted by Joyce Byers. Steve and Nancy never dated. Steve was framed for Jim's murder. Mike and Jane (011) are dating. And yeah that's about it.)

--------------------------------------------------

September 25, 1986

The phone is ringing, and a young woman by the name of Barbara Holland answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello.."

"Yes?"

"Who's this?"

"Who are you trying to reach?"

"What number is this?"

"Well, What number are you trying to reach?

"I don't know.."

Barbara chuckles, "Well I think you have the wrong number."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. It happens, take it easy."

Barbara hung up the phone and placed it back on the switch hook. She picks her pencil back up and continued writing.

Then, the phone started ringing again. Barbara once again took the phone off the switch hook and put it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"I guess I dialed the wrong number."

"So why'd you dialed it again?"

"To apologize."

"You're forgiven, bye now."

Barbara lightly chuckled then placed the phone back down to the switch hook. She went back to writing the last few sentences before turning to the next page to write another full page.

Again, the phone started ringing. Barbara starts to get a little frustrated, she's trying to do her homework.

"Hi. Listen, not trying to be rude in anyway. But I really need you to stop calling me please."

"Why?"

"Mostly, because I don't know you."

"Well we can GET to know each other. What do ya say? I can take you out to eat sometime too."

"Look, The offer seems nice and all but I don't have time for all of that."

"Oh come on, it'll be fun! Everything will be on me. Trust me, I got the funds for it."

"Like I said, I don't have time for it."

The caller on the other line let out a sigh.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone. But before I go I need to ask you one question"

"Ask away."

"What's your favorite scary movie, BARBARA?"

Barbara's eyes wided and looked around her room.

"H-how did you know m-my name?.."

"I got my ways. Now answer the fucking question, or I'll be sure that you'll never be seen alive again.."

"F-fuck you, weirdo!"

Barbara threw phone back onto the switch hook.

She begins to overreact. But suddenly, she hears a glass breaking downstairs. Barbara jumped up from her bed and locked her bedroom door. She walked backwards while glaring at her door. Suddenly, the phone rings again, causing Barbara to jump.

"I have another question for you Barbara, Now that I'm in your house, do you think I'm upstairs or downstairs?"

"P-please, leave me alone.."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Barbara."

"Listen, if you don't leave me alone then, then I'll call my boyfriend, yeah my boyfriend, and he'll come and kick your creepy ass!"

The caller laughed uncontrollably.

"Nice joke, Barbara. But in case you forgot about yourself, you don't have a boyfriend. Slick lie."

Barbara the shakily holds the phone in her hands.

"Now. Get ready to SCREAM bitch!"

Ghostface breaks open Barbara's door and charges at Barbara.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Barbara cried

Barbara was able to juke Ghostface and ran out the bedroom. She ran downstairs to and saw her friend, Alice Martin's mutilated corpse laying on the couch. She was gutted.

Barbara screamed as she is attacked by Ghostface.

Barbara fell onto the floor as she clutched her slashed arm. Ghostface began to walk slowly to Barbara, while raising his knife.

"N-no.. d-don't do this p-please" Barbara plead, thinking that'll work but it didn't.

Ghostface slammed his knife into Barbara's chest, killing her instantly.

(Part One of my "Whisper To A Scream" Series! Hope you liked it!)

#stranger things x scream #scream au #stranger things au #whispertoascream #barbara holland #ghostface

[wizardlyghost]

alright i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna play fallout 4.

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: i have started this game before, but i got about as far as finding a suit of power armour and getting my ass kicked by a giant lizard before getting bored. i have an extremely hazy knowledge of the fallout universe from posts on tumblr and getting to the "what in the goddamn" bit in new vegas, but i don't know a whole lot of specifics about this game, so please dont spoil if you want me to genuinely react when i get there. here's what i know off the top of my head:

- on the FINAL DAY the SOLE SURVIVOR (henceforth: me) goes into one of VAULT TECH's FUCKED UP SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BUNKERS with their (henceforth: my) SPOUSE and BABY, whose name i think is SEAN(?). the SPOUSE is whichever of the husband/wife duo you don't turn into your character, whether or not they actually have a name is kinda unclear in my memory.

- as soon as i enter the VAULT i immediately get CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN. last time i didn't know what was going on and just climbed straight into the pod like a chump. i wonder if they forcibly shove you in if you try to escape? food for experimentation. also your SPOUSE goes into their pod with BABY SEAN(?) because i guess explicitely child-sized unethical experimentation chambers is where VAULT-TECH draws the line? go figure.

- YEARS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY) some ASSHOLES break into the VAULT, shoot my SPOUSE, and steal BABY SEAN(?). i am awake to watch this but they don't notice and reactivate the pods, i get frozen again.

- SOME MORE YEARS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY(?)) i wake up once more due to the VAULT running out of power. the guards have all killed each other or something, all the other vaultcicles are dead in their pods. i fight my way outside past some FUCKED UP BUGS, pick up a PIP-BOY, and head home.

- when i get home my ROBOT BUTLER is still floating around because planned obsolescence has no power here. he gives me the skinny on the APOCALYPSE, i head off up the hill to look for BABY(?) SEAN(?) and find a DOG called DOG along the way. DOG is a GOOD BOY and if any harm comes to him i will burn this entire fucking wasteland to the ground. again.

- i get to a TOWN and kill a bunch of ASSHOLES in a MUSEUM OF AMERICANA. this GUY with a COOL HAT and a SICK ASS LASER RIFLE (i think his name is PRESTON(?)) asks me to go grab a SUIT OF POWER ARMOUR from the CRASHED PLANE ON THE ROOF. this isn't really my playstyle but i do so and BUST SOME HEADS with it. a GIANT LIZARD shows up and repeatedly kills me until i reboot the save and spend fewer MINIGUN BULLETS on the aforementioned BUSTING OF HEADS, saving them for this SCALY BAG OF DICKS. i finally defeat it and spend the rest of my ammo shooting its corpse out of spite.

- PRESTON(?) and i walk back home with his survivors and idk live happily ever after? adopt a bunch of wasteland weirdos, raise some two-headed cattle, learn from the mistakes of the fallen american empire as we rebuild a kinder society from the ashes of our mistakes? i stopped playing here so for now i'm going to assume that's what happens and the rest of the game is just irradiated stardew valley.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW: i'm gonna boot up the game and play for a bit, and try to liveblog about it. there probably won't be a whole lot of posts in the bits i've done before but we'll see. again, if you want me to genuinely react to something when i get to it, please don't spoil it beforehand, it'll be a lot more fun for the both of us.

yee. haw.

#might abandon this halfway through but if not i shall tag it... #fallout 4 #FALLOUT 4: THE RESURRECTION OF OSHA #FALLOUT 4 LIVEBLOG: THE GHOST FALLS OUT

[shippyboi]

Demonically Odd Parents Chapter 0

Introduction

Where do we even start? Well.. What happens when a three thousand year old demon and a super duper powerful trans ghost fall in love?

Well, they make a miserable nonbinary redhead, duh. 

Mouse Box, a nonbinary most-likely lesbian. They lived in a middle of nowhere town with two adopted weirdos. 

Janet and Stan. They are some mildly conservative middle classers who don't understand much about Mouse. 

But now here are the real damn assholes! Stat and Jacqueline Box.. (Jacqueline isn't so bad)Their actual parents. Where did that properly start instead of a snarky remark? Fine. But it'll be snide.

Stat was shot execution style in the back of the head. And as she slowly started to give up and die. She hears one voice. 

"Do you seek revenge, my sister?" And her dying breath spoke "Yes, please. " and in that she felt her soul boost in power, ten fold. As she looked upon her dead body, rage filled through her body and she dragged the three men who killed her to the depths of hell! 

Yeah? It's pretty cool, I'll even admit it. But how did she meet Jacqueline!! It's corny, fair warning. 

Stat had been turning in souls for twenty years. Stopping murders, rapes, and collecting a bounty on evil ass souls, bounty hunter style. And out of the corner of her eye.. She sees Jacqueline. And they blank out the rest but I've chalked it up to they had long weird sex briefly after meeting like the unfit hoes my parents are. 

Ghosts and Demons and Angels are everywhere alright? It's a big thing. 

"Well, Captive audience, this is my story, I'm Mouse Box. Enjoy the ride. "

#shippy writes #q force #ocs #statbox #writing