#please keep growing

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

I have the feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn't right. I have no reason to believe there is anything wrong with the baby, yet I can't shake this feeling. Hubs says I should call my OB and ask to be seen, but I don't want to be that patient if everything is fine. T says I'm having PTSD responses. My body is hypervigilant since this is about when I miscarried pregnancy #2. They are both probably right but I'm frozen in fear. I just really hope my anxiety is wrong and everything is ok.

#personal #pregnancy #first trimester #PTSD #pregnancy loss trauma #please keep growing #please please please

[shepscapades]

I think it’s safe to say Ranchers Win These

(In the silence between the last two panels, there is a 20 page comic in my head filled with flashbacks of every moment Scott teased, scolded, or dismissed Jimmy—and every moment where Tango was instead kind, patient, and proud)

#limited life smp #limlife #limited life #24lsmp #jimmy solidarity #Scott smajor #smajor #implied ranchers but I won’t tag it I suppose #Jimmy #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #Scott #art escapades #LISTEN I LOVE SCOTT SMAJOR TO DEATH NOTHING AGAINST HIM AND NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE WHO SHIPS FLOWER HUSBANDS #/gen!!! i honestly like flower husbands a lot #but I just think. that jimmy deserves someone who is kinder to him and that jimmy should be able to grow as a person and decide who he-> #keeps in his life and who he moves on from #that’s all <3 #nothing against any ship or anyone :]] i'm just being goofy and enjoy spinning things to my current preferences ehehe #please don't read any malicious intent! i have none! just being silly goofy and making art for a fun spin on this moment

[inkskinned]

the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.

people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.

"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."

the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.

the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.

at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.

"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.

this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.

#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations #idk that this makes sense #but im like #people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art #n im like #sure #but what if we stop making things for you huh #what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore #what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices? #why do u need to see us as machines? #''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it'' #okay spend literally years of your life studying #''i don't want to do that'' #okay pay someone who DID do that #''no i don't think it's a real skill'' #okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to? #FOR FREE? #either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind #btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting. #thats studying #do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing #ur studying #do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully) #that's also studying #etc #was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that

[densewentz]

Edwin did not read a little ghost girl for filth in the very beginning of the very first episode for trying to pretend that the age she died at had any bearing whatsoever on her actual current level of maturity and capability just for you guys to turn around and use "he died at 16!!!" to vilify the Cat King and Catwin shippers btw

#dead boy detectives #dbda #catwin #edwin payne #the cat king #i am SO goddamn sick of seeing people wail and cry at some imaginary offense #when the flimsy ass excuse you all are using is canonically debunked /by the character you guys keep claiming is being predated/ #who btw is also canonically flustered and into the attention #and also brashly unafraid of the cat king in any capacity??? probably given that the Cat King is actually #remarkably respectful of edwin's actual boundaries #grow up #christ #dense rants #i dont even care if you ship catwin or not #i also love and ship paynland #but can we cool it with the accusations please

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him #he never comes out the same way twice #but then again. do any of us? #anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain #its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor #too much all at once. cant art anymore #i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw #and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort #i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible. #i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen #i come back to scroll on tumblr #i feel Despair. rinse and repeat #scribble salad #is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile! #i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move #sigh... dont wanna go.... #but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all! #apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle #too exhausted. the Despair is too strong #and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit

[constellation-skirmishes]

cody got padawan duty. rex got babysitting (looking after the generals)

a: BYE SKYGUY! BYE OBI-DAD! CODY IS WAAAY COOLER THAN YOU TWO! HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED THE FORCE TO LIFT ME!!

c: mhm. now, leave the generals alone, commander. they have their own things to work on. like learning how to talk to each other in a healthy way.

(theres no fucking way this is romantic. if anything, cody is another dad figure to add to the ever-growing list of them.)

#commander cody #cc 2224 #ahsoka tano #tcw #star wars fanart #cody isnt the step dad hes the dad who stepped up #(ahsoka's dad collection keeps growing) #(it will never cease) #nooooooot a ship go awayy #give ahsoka some actual clothes on the warzone please #shes burning her lineage worse than they did on mustafar goddamn #lukka's workshop

[audiblehush]

Y’all, I don’t know how to tell you this, but characters have to make mistakes and have flaws in order for conflict in a plot to happen.

When it’s a couple’s season of Bridgerton, it means multiple fuckups by those characters to varying degrees. That’s how narrative conflict WORKS.

Penelope not telling Colin she’s Lady Whistledown is WRONG. It’s understandable why she’s freaking out, but Eloise is absolutely in the right by telling Penelope she needs to tell him… I don’t know, JUST like Penelope tried to get Marina to come clean to Colin? Like, I’m sorry, but it’s SO OBVIOUS that this is an intentional parallel; I’m begging people to pay more attention.

Eloise has her own flaws and has made mistakes (and she’ll continue to do so until her own season), but this ISN’T ONE OF THEM. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Penelope is lying, out of deep seated fear of rejection, probably partly due to Eloise’s own reaction, yes, but Eloise is right that Colin can’t love every part of Penelope if she CHOOSES to hide it from him; that is NOT the way to start a marriage.

Colin and Penelope are beautiful because they eventually remove the masks and THEY CHOOSE EACH OTHER ANYWAY. Honesty is a required component of love, and they’ll get there, but Eloise is right to expect Penelope to tell Colin about LW - why wouldn’t you??? Penelope needs to learn to trust other people with her whole, contradictory self - that is the whole part of her journey to love: from others and to HERSELF!!!

I’m so tired of the bickering!! These conflicts should have been EXPECTED! ALL of these characters have made mistakes and been bad friends in some capacity since S1 - that is LIFE, and seeing how these characters work through that is part of the beauty of this show!

Ugh, I’m tired… character development requires conflict, both internal and external; that’s how it WORKS!!!

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #eloise bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin #I’m so tired of the ‘who is more right’ scorecards people keep for all these characters #just shut UP it’s exhausting #let characters make mistakes and grow #this applies to Pen AND El for the record #they were both bad friends in some capacity and no I will not be taking notes #but in this situation? the entire ass narrative is telling Penelope she’s wrong about lying - please pay attention

[lollytea]

I need to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure to reach my final conclusion on if she's even attracted to men

#girl help i keep thinking about sharpay and ryan being each others only friend growing up #theyre not very good at interpersonal relationships #romance is foreign to them. they dont care about playing romantic interests because they only view romance through the lens of theatre #fake. not real. an act to entertain an audience. so they dont understand why it would be weird #neither of them have ever kissed anyone #sharpay likes things that make her look better #because her whole life is a performance #so she wants troy because hes a shiny accessory to her #thinking about hsm 2 where once again when she tries to perform a romantic song (with troy this time and not her brother) #she still barely fucking looks at him #all of her attention is on the (nonexistent) audience #and ryan. ryan hm #ryan usually performs alongside sharpay #its usually an in universe performance. theyre on a stage. theres an audience #and all of his attention is on pleasing that audience #an exception to this is during the gay baseball song #where theres a different kind of audience BUT #ryan barely looks at them #most of his attention is directed solely to chad #talking flirting teasing being cocky and annoying but clearly addressing him directly through most of the song #first time this has happened with ryan. take that as you will #ANYWAY i can see sharpay as completely uninterested in romance but she hasnt realized that about herself #and she THINKS she wants it. because she sees it as glamorous #or maybe shes a lesbian i dont know #she might be a lesbian #the deciding factor is sharpays fabulous adventure #if she has chemistry with the guy in that movie then shes just repressed and clueless #if she doesnt shes aro #or possibly lesbian

[kindahoping4forever]

Luke via Shan Rizwan on IG

#all the love to ig user Shan Rizwan for the content today but Tumblr is tumblring & i had to keep editing the pic to get it to post 😭😭 #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke #instagram #other ig #boy ep #boy #my tags for this era are so inconsistent I really need to figure out what I'm doing 😭😭😭 #kh4f post #so yeah Tumblr deleted my og post and like 3 reposts so i have no idea what my tags were originally #i definitely mentioned that he is tall #and perhaps broad #I probably acted like i wasn't looking at his neck but dear reader I am looking at his neck #definitely noted how much i love that his hair is growing out #i need long hair Luke back in time for my show 😭😭 #long hair Luke at the Fonda last year was a miracle and a surprise and a religious experience can lightning strike twice for me pls #manifest it oh please hear me cries dear thirst gods don't i deserve a lil treat #anyways #Luke in a suit with a T-shirt and sneakers is my preferred Luke in case you were wondering #yeah Vampire Luke has been fun yeah Model Luke is great and obviously slutty stage Luke is Important #but suit + t-shirt is just 🤌🏻 everything idk why #i had more to say but then i got distracted looking at the forehead curls #bye 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

[no-light-left-on]

I often wonder about the quote-unquote logistics of Corvo the Black/Emily the Butcher endings. Emily makes more sense to me, in a way, carving her way through the empire only to come back with blood caked under her fingernails and realising that she did everything her father refused to do 15 years ago. but why did Corvo have a similar choice?

what happens to the statues later? does Emily keep her father trapped in stone? does Corvo look at his daughter, frozen in the moment and considers freeing her? is he at his deathbed when he finally reaches out and cups Emily's cheek, freeing her into a carcass of an empire that he gutted for her, in her name, in the name of her mother?

when I first heard of the endings I thought that if you reach very high chaos, you are locked into this choice - Corvo or Emily tries to free the other and the stone just doesn't budge. they are trapped. the quest is over but the world knows that the bloodshed was extreme and this is the punishment they have to face

#li.txt #dh #dishonored #kinda like the high chaos brigmore witches ending #there is no reason for corvo to kill daud if you finish BW in high chaos. but he still does. because the world Knows #but the very Active choice of the player and by extension the character to take the throne and keep their last family locked in stone.... #its certainly a choice. and it makes me wonder about many a thing #i really wish we got more info #karnaisbear mentioned that itd be cool if we got comics expanding on alternate endings and like arkane. arkane can we please get those #I just really wanna know What It Was Like to live under the rule of Emily or Corvo in the very high chaos endings #and the fact that it seems like they can still free the other person? that adds so much more angst and tension to it #is there a time limit? do years pass and does corvo grow old and weary and thinks that yes #he has done his job and he has done it well. and the empire is righted and he can hand it back to emily now #and he cups her cheek and it remains cold marble #and all he did was for nothing #and he cries #(can u tell ive been reading thru the corvo the black tag) #not to mention something similar to that but with emily!! #imagine she grows old! older than corvo was when he was frozen! #the century is coming to a close when she finally frees him and she is older so much older and corvo will have to live with losing her #in every single impossible way he has lost her #and then he gets to bury his daughter #these tags got so dark wtf

[moeblob]

I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.

(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)

#eyeshield 21 #seijuro shin #sena kobayakawa #haruto sakuraba #ichiro takami #you might look at this and go Salmon please explain why you're drawing fanart for a football anime #and i cannot actually explain #not pictured is my undying love and adoration for the Ha-Ha brothers because they're great #im only on ep28 but please i care for them so much #me watching one say that a girl is his type: OH NICE I LOVE THIS I WILL SUPPORT YOU #me watching one suffer a fear of airplanes while on an airplane: SON YOU ARE DYING PLEASE NO KEEP LIVING #i have typed so many essays on discord to two people about the emotions this anime has given me #and its such a silly anime with funky moves with funny animations for the moves #but i actually really like it ??? like yes its about hs people playing football #but the fact the main character is an underdog #joining a team of two people thus making the entire team of now three an underdog #who then continue to grow with MORE underdogs being recruited #its actually very impressive to watch the characters grow alongside sena #like they do actively show the kids interacting in various ways and its a delight #the anime is just a bunch of good boys playing a game and having a good time bettering themselves #and i say this like im an expert when im still just ep28

[ajitomiel]

yknow when i started reading comics i wasnt a dickbabs and tim drake hater BUT COMIC WRITERS ARE TESTING MEEEEEEE

#let it go #please #let barbara be oracle and tim be red robin #why are you making them go back to their past personas #THEY WERE GROWING #its the favoritism #istg they are just making me tiredddd #anti dickbabs #anti tim drake #so the fans dont accidentally find this.. #LOOK ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT THE THING ITSELF I JUST DONT LIKE THE WRITING #ITS BAD #IT SUCKS #YOU JUST KEEP MAKING THEM GO BACK TO THEIR ORIGINAL STATE AND DISREGARD ALL OTHER CHARACTERS JUST BC U WANNA SEE ONE PARTICULAR THING HAPPEN #TIM BEING ROBIN AGAIN DISREGARDS DAMIAN #AND DICKBABS DISREGARDS BABS HERSELF BRUCE AND KORY #ITS JUST BAD #THE DISRESPECT I SWEAR TO GOD #and honestly thats why i kinda hate j*njay too but dont make me start on that #dc has disrespected my boy jon long enough....

[t-u-i-t-c]

Tokusatsu x Spring ❀ Day 2 │ A Scene With Flowers

Chikyuu Sentai Fiveman │ 01x01 │ The Five Sibling Warriors

#fiveman #chikyuu sentai fiveman #gaku hoshikawa #hoshikawa gaku #fivered #tokuspring #userdramas #umbrella.gifs #super sentai #tokuedit #please do not repost #umbrella.edits #umbrella.posts #translation: g.u.i.s. #subtitles added by me #the sidon flowers hold great purpose in the narrative of fiveman #they are a symbol of hope in many ways #to the hoshikawa family they are symbols of hope that they will reunite with their parents and for the students they are a symbol of hope #to keep growing and learning past the conflicts and invasion #the students care for the flowers greatly and they do so for the hoshikawas and for fiveman bc they have faith in them #it's part of the reason that the flowers pose a threat against zone bc they're not just flowers and what they represent is strong

[prokkoli]

YUZUMAKO CAT PAWRENTS

#firm believer of yuzumako being pawsome pawrents #they love their cats very much #mako doesn't show it as much but she loves these little fellas #yuzu keeps on trying to adopt more and more cats and mako is begging her to think about the space of their apartment and all the costs #in yuzu's defense she does think of them. but most of the time she cant bring herself to resist them #(cue: “makoto Look i know but please!!!!! look at them!!!!!”) #and they end up adopting more anyways and mako always grows attached to each one of em #by age 80 their home is just cats #ok now for the Tags #yuzumako #murashige yuzuki #kurume makoto #skip to loafer #skip and loafer #cats #sketch #pokidraws #p.stl

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes

and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.

so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.

short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.

full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.

first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section

and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.

they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)

it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.

which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.

and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.

everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection

Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.

and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!

best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.

not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.

which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.

and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.

but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.

but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?

their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.

i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?

how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.

it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.

personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.

#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain #i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower #and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back #*taking a break from art* #brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings #welcome home theory #welcome home speculation #SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY #mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour #barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him #and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here #but like.... ugh #barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation #him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else. #him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt #everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone #and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away' #that has GOT to get on his nerves over time #this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck. #even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship #if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties #barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]' #and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship' #BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me! #also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things #bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn! #but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different #not said as a bad thing At All. #just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals #we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics

[sqlmn]

Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.

Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)

Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.

Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.

#the daily life of a deity sucks #and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now #i also would have accepted the punishment for this #and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before #so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him #and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy #who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time #also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of #dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off #and he never tells them to piss off #also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it #and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love #and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone #and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion #and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair #and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles #and tells him he looks good with longer hair #so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again #but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt) #also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar #its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks #and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall #theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall