#pinocchio looks like a fuck boy

[oh-my-hubris]

"is that.. a puppet BABY? ITS AN ENEMY??? THERE ARE TWO OF THEM? oh God it has a lot of hit points. ARE THOSE ACTUAL TEETH?"

Ink is having a great time.

#pinocchio looks like a fuck boy

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

oh yeah i also watched the new pinocchio last night bc my mom wanted to see it and never shared my opinions

#1. glad they kept it a musical i hate when they pretend like theyre above it or whatever #2. (most important) girl why did the cgi look sooooooo fucking shitty……. esp pinocchio himself he looked so weird #2b. the best cgi and best part overall was for the keegan michael key fox. the design was soooo fucking swaggy and the fox looked really #good and i think he is just such a fun VA i liked the fox :) #2c. the cat. figaro. literally i remember in cruella they did the same thing like its a CAT its a cat. you dont have to cgi a cat…… #and if you do you can literally do way better why do they look sooooooo bad #3. teehee luke evans. moreee musicals for him pleaaaseee!!! #4. i have literally nothing else to say it was blah. very whatever. only part worth seeing is keegan michael key fox #wait 2d. they cgid root beer. ROOT BEER. like i get u need to give it to ur fucking puppet but even for the real boy they cgid the root beer #and even the glass i think. girl just fucking animate the whole movie over again why even bother pretending youre making a live action movie

[triflesandparsnips]

Lot of takes going around the internets about certain "deaths" in the ofmd season finale, so, uh-- guess it's time for me to try and lose some followers on tumblr dot com with

Some Thoughts on Why I Am Not Particularly Bothered or Concerned about Izzy's Apparent "Death"

Laying the groundwork first...

1. Narratively speaking, Izzy's been a dead man walking since the start of the season. Babe shot himself and got a rebirth-- but he still definitely intended to die. Every minute he was still around was borrowed time.

Did he have to die? Maybe not. I know I could've written a version of the show where he didn't. But then that would be my show-- not theirs. I can't know exactly what themes, bugbears, bête noires, catharsis, or artistic Vibes are driving that writers' room, and until the credits run on the finale of the third season, none of the rest of us can either.

2. Izzy spent the season being in a liminal state-- and there's nothing in the story saying that he can't continue doing that. Izzy spent the season having one foot in one space, one hoof in the other, and himself halfway through the door, a chimera of mirrored things right up to his "death": pirate and ship, hard and soft, old ways and new, etc etc. But "the gravy basket" is a weird little liminal space between life and death, a place that both Ed and Buttons have found (and returned from) before. We don't know where Izzy "is" right now-- he could be there.

(tbh, I wonder how much poor feeling we'd be having about all this if we'd gotten a final tag of a blue-washed Izzy staring down at a bowl of soup while helplessly saying "but this isn't gravy, what the fu--")

3. I think there is an unfortunate belief that "it's not real unless you see the body" is a universal -- or perhaps inarguable -- "fact" of storytelling. But it's not. It's just a bit of narrative shorthand that got popular, and now we're too ready to fall into the trap of believing the inverse is true too-- that if there is a body, then there must therefore have been a "real" death.

This season has spent quite a lot of narrative time and effort telling us that its story is using a different model, with different shorthands; specifically, that magic is real, that there is at least some kind of existence after death, and that the dead can be resurrected.

And that brings me to the meat of why I'm not particularly bothered or concerned about what, at this stage of the story, could still very well be just a minor setback--

4. This whole show, and particularly this season, is a fairy tale. It's a story that works with fairy tale logic and tropes, and it's in conversation with other fairy tales too, ones that the OFMD audience is likely to know well enough to spot their narrative beats in action. So "Pinocchio" gets mentioned a lot? Cool-- the audience applies what is commonly known of that story to this one ("a real boy", the mirror-opposite being a puppet with no nose, etc), and finds some Cool Shit. Then they're primed to keep looking for fairy tales, even unnamed ones, in case there's another little nugget of reward-dopamine for finding a connection.

So the fact that we saw a mermaid? Suddenly, I personally am noticing "Little Mermaid" motifs all over the place. That Ed was in a "sleep like death" -- after fucking around with a spinning wheel -- until his prince came to wake him? Well fuck, man, that's Blackbeard playing "Sleeping Beauty" for us all.

And bringing it all back to a "dead" Izzy Hands... when I add up a "dead" body surrounded by a bunch of laborers mourning the person who nominally kept their living space nice AND who was wanted dead by an authority figure for the crime of being the "better" version of what that figure wanted to be...

...well fuck, idk about the rest of you, but to me that all adds up to Izzy's story being Snow fucking White. Waiting for someone to come pull the bullet poisoned apple from his body so he can live again.

5. This is a second season. Of three. And Izzy Hands is the writer's favorite chewtoy, so there is lots of time, space, and incentive to bring him back. If there's a third season, we have a pile of ways he could be brought back over the course of hours of literal viewing time and possibly months of in-narrative time. That's ages.

And the solutions don't have to be difficult! For instance, we still have canonical hallucinations from Stede-- that's one route. Or fuck it, we could have Izzy's (very solid-looking) ghost be the embodiment of their being haunted by the Sea, that would work too.

And even barring all that-- his grave is right there with our heroes. The ship is out there hunting down his murderer. Even if you're happy he's dead... bad news, friend. He's all over the third season landscape. (uh oh, it's GNU Izzy Hands)

But those are just a few options that leave his body rotting but his character still alive. I happen to think we could all dream a little bigger, darlings. For instance:

A. You cannot tell me that these writers, on this show, with these actors, would not absolutely go all in on a zombie-esque hand thrusting out of the dirt mere hours after burial. Look me in the eyes and tell me Con O'Neill wouldn't pull off an entire digging-out scene only to end with himself panting beside the hole, looking around, hearing Ed and Stede being weird in their haunted hut, and wearily say, "Are you fucking kidding me."

B. Don't like zombies? Want to stay closer to the Snow White vibe AND introduce a love interest for him? One hyphenated word: body-snatcher. Gotta dig those bodies up fresh for the Definitely Historically Accurate anatomists of the time! But oh, says this New Guy, this corpse is-- wow, it's weird that they buried him with a rose and really amazing makeup and a truly extraordinary number of whittled whales, plus what's with that horsey leg grave marker, this guy must've been fucking fascinating, man, I wish I could've met him-- --at which point Izzy's hand shoots out and chokes the guy half to death and the lads come tumbling out of the house and ta da, mission accomplished, Izzy resurrected in 5 minutes or less with his horsey leg conveniently beside him and an entire season for himself and everyone else to Deal With It, amazing, fantastic, no notes from me.

C. Come to think of it, there is genuinely a non-zero chance that the crew just. Fucked up the burial. I mean... even though I was just arguing why we shouldn't see it as Law, we didn't actually see the body. We saw a grave. What did they bury him in? Was it a box? Was it some canvas? Did they definitely pick up the right one when it was time to bury him? Or did they maybe carefully make him an ahistorical safety coffin just in case a cat demon came to bother him and his corpse wanted to make a fuss about it, y'know, very common, could happen to anyone, and Frenchie just so happens to have Blackbeard's old collar bell right here--

6. Here's the bottom line, imo: The only thing that would keep Izzy really actually dead and completely removed from the story is a lack of narrative time and space-- and we have plenty of both. Stories are like Lego. If you've got enough time and you're willing to play with pieces from a whole lotta different sets, it's not hard to put the same elements together in different ways to get new, exciting configurations. It's why I'm actually rubbish at predicting exact details of stuff-- there are a lot of ways something could go, there are infinite doors out of problems the narrative seems to throw at us, and no two people will come up with the same thing because we're all different.

That, to me, is one of the big ways I personally enjoy and engage with stories. And it's why I genuinely can't be fussed about Izzy's death, not when we're only two-thirds through the story as a whole; observing someone setup and then try and execute a complicated narrative trick is my jam.

But my way of engaging with all this is by no means the best or only way. How we all interact with art, and what speaks to us, is extremely personal. If how this season and Izzy's death went just didn't work for you, that's okay. I'm sorry it wasn't the story you wanted it to be. That blows.

I just know I can't say yet that it didn't work for me. I won't know until I can take in the entire picture, just as I can't judge a finished Lego set by the one piece I step on midway through construction. I can see different ways Izzy's death/rebirth could absolutely work, but will the writer manage it? I dunno.

But I'm willing to wait and see if the stupid puppet can pull it off.

#will it be the content or the length that causes the unfollows? #WHO CAN SAY #but every day is Unfollowing Amnesty Day #farewell and be free #our flag means death #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death seasons 3 rampant speculation #izzy hands #engaging with stories #and curating your own experience #(but for real - I had to stop myself at just the few possibilities I gave for a resurrection) #(real talk if you ask me for more I can just-- come up with more) #(it's my party trick) #(for very certain kinds of very nerdy parties)

[leesmustardgarden]

Meet-cute Through a Window (Though it Shouldn’t be Possible)

Warnings: mentions of canon typical violence, mentions of plague, a bit of swearing (couldn’t help myself, really), good ol puppet fear, I love P so much he’s so everything to me

P x (gn) reader

In the ruins of an ever rotting city, love is the last thing you’d expect to find. Rubble cannot foster the gentleness love necessitates, nor can it pretend to. In the ticking heart of a special puppet, filled with oil and ergo ever pulsing, love finds a way to fester. Pinocchio proves to be an exception to many things, and in loving you he has become an exception to the very notion that love cannot find purchase on the ledge of a burning society.

You meet through a window tucked away in the far corners of Krat, one you’d thought to be hidden from the puppet frenzy. It had been your honest mistake; a moment of forgetfulness wherein you peaked through the curtains and found yourself under his curious blue eyes. Crystalline and shining, they shocked you frozen to the spot. Any initial noise you might have let out dies with a weak flutter in your throat and you beg internally for this person to be a person and not a puppet.

A small whirr fills the air in the next second and your heart drops into your stomach. His expression is unchanging even in the face of your panic, but his shoulders sag (—holy shit is that a sword on his back?) in something like surrender and he tilts his head.

If you didn’t know any better, he might have just looked like a curious, yet apathetic boy peering at you through your window. With the sword on his back and the gentle whirr that rings in the silence, it’s hard not to know better. Never mind whatever the fuck is on his metal arm, you’re just ignoring that for the time being or you’re sure to go mental.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” He whispers at the same time you say, “Please don’t kill me.”

If he’s surprised or hurt by what you say, he doesn’t (or probably can’t) show it. The words are muffled through the glass, but you’ve trained your ears to hear through the small opening at the bottom. He holds both palms open and says nothing else.

You… want to trust him, really. More than just the fact that his eyes are so pretty they shine like a fantastic lake straight out of a story book; or that his freckles paint him like an old, long dead painter might have painted the stars. You want to trust him in the open and gentle way he seems to offer up his hands and promise you more than what the rest of Krat has since the frenzy.

In the rubble of a burning city crashing in on itself, there is not a speck of gentleness to be spared. This— puppet has it in spades, and it draws you out of your panic just enough to pull the window open bit by bit. You do not break his gaze for a moment as you tug it up and open, and he is patient enough not to be the first to do so. Instead, he stretches a hand out to you and waits for your warm skin to meet the cold smooth synthetic surface of his own non-legion hand.

It would be just your luck if somehow puppets learned how to lie, too, but something tells you he means it wholly and honestly when he insists he will not hurt you. The whirring picks up gently, almost imperceptibly quicker, but you don’t pay it any mind. The edges of your instincts are sharp with distrust, but you lay your hand and life in the hands of this puppet and find yourself minding it less and less with each second.

A loaded pause passes— you stare down at your hands barely touching and he watches you with that same, frozen expression. You thickly swallow before you wrap your fingers around his hand and look up right into those beautiful blues.

“Would you… like to come in?”

Now, you don’t have much experience in how to fuel (feed?) an automaton; wasn’t your job before the frenzy and certainly hasn’t become since, but you could learn. It’s a silly thought to have, but you haven’t had a guest in god knows how long and a sharing a cup of tea sounds lovely (if puppets could even have tea). And — sure, maybe openly inviting the literal enemy of every human being in Krat into your house isn’t the smartest thing to do, but you can’t help it. More than just his pretty face, his gentle hand caresses yours so softly and the nod he gives is so warm that in the loneliness of having been the last sentient thing in the area, you couldn’t help but falter.

The world around you tastes of ash and rubble, but you meet someone who seems to bring about a breath of fresh air. His eyes are bright like ergo, and his hair fluffs like a black cloud. When he nods ever softly, something whirrs and clicks in the air. Your heart pounds against your ribs, and you don’t know if it’s really out of fear anymore.

Your world ended in a frenzied flurry of plague and massacre; it started again when you peaked through your window and met him.

#lies of p x reader #pinocchio x reader #lop x reader #reader inser drabble #First game fandom I’ve ever written for #Usually it’s shows #or films #I prefer to write on ao3 but was too short to be put on there #Lee’s writing ✍️

[pianostarinwonderland]

The boys look like puppets on strings so cool! I wonder what’s the meaning behind Ortho, Ace and Kalim being chosen as SSR this time. I understand Ortho being non-human like Pinocchio but kinda lost on Kalim and Ace. Although Ace’s surname is Italian.

THEY DO I FUCKING LOVE IT !!!

So so so1! I really think Ace, Kalim, and Ortho being the SSRs makes so much sense because of the theme of Pleasure Island. Pleasure Island in Pinocchio is a place where boys that are led to there could have all the fun they wanna do—play games, smoke and drink, etc. But then that comes at a price: the longer they stay there, the more they will transform to donkeys until they are fully donkey and are made to work.

The event summary somehow gives confirmation too that they're gonna follow this concept:

A select number of NRC students are invited by the strange man Fellow Honest and his apprentice Gidelle to spend their time in the illustrous amusement park, Playful Land. Just for one day, you can play as much as you want. No school for that day, you can even become a star on the stage! However, there is one thing that you must take note and remember. Never forget your "good conscience"...

(TL by my friend @shuuenmei)

From here alone, Ace and Kalim make sense. They're both troublemakers, with Ace being... well, Ace. And Kalim, while he doesn't intend to, does things on a whim, which inconveniences people especially Jamil. They're also materialistic. Ace in book 6 keeping the money for himself, and the way he talks about fashion and shoes, indicates this. And Kalim... is Kalim. They've got their indulgences.

But on the flipside, they have their moral compasses. Ace's moral compass is especially seen in Book 1 and Ghost Marriage—dude will call out people. And Kalim's resistance to Jade's unique magic in book 4 displays the strength of his own values.

Ortho fits this too. He is less of a troublemaker than Ace and Kalim, but his penchant for laser beams isn't the best either (as seen in Ghost Marriage and Uniform Ortho story). In FG Ortho story, Ortho tells Riddle about the time he skipped class and Trein scolded him for it. Riddle also told Ortho to not skip class, but he understood too that it's because Ortho's used to not getting told off for skipping before officially enrolling into NRC. He does have a good heart, though, and he is developing his own values as he's now more human than pre book 6. And as the character most resembling Pinocchio, it would be really interesting to see how he deals with Playful Land.

Hope this makes sense! There's honestly a lot of theories and speculations that you can make with this. But this is how I interpret it right now.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp #ace trappola #kalim al asim #ortho shroud #twst spoilers #ask

[crobones]

listen, as someone with a horribly complicated relationship with both of my parents? pinocchio's journey has got me fucked up.

to a child, an angry parent can be this terrifying entity that influences everything you do. even when they're not physically present, because you're afraid that they will find out you did something they wouldn't approve of. they always find out. and they will take it out on you and anyone they feel is also at fault. from this, you learn a deep and unsettling fear.

but the other parent? the one some would naturally assume is nurturing and a source of strength? that's all wrong. they may be nicer. they may speak to you softly because they know you are something fragile. but they don't pick up the pieces. they look at the pieces on the floor and tell you that you should have known better - that you brought this upon yourself. you know the rules, and you are not to bend or break them no matter the context. the difference is, they hold your hand or offer a warm hug as they tell you that you are the one that needs to change.

to these parents, there is only absolute right and absolute wrong. and if you are not absolutely right, by their definition you are absolutely wrong. and should be punished as they see fit.

pinocchio is being forced to learn as a child what took me over two decades to learn. both of these parents are just people. they have their own tragedies that made them this way. and they chose to become your tragedy. you can chose to love them or forgive them or leave them, but first you have to learn how to take away their power over you.

pinocchio cut his own strings.

pinocchio chose a life different than what his father wanted for him - expected of him.

and it's sad, because we all want pinocchio to have the ability to become a real boy. a part of him still wants it. but he gave it up to save his father, who will likely be disappointed (at least to start.) he gave it up to take away even a portion of his stepmother's power. he has given up his happily ever after. these are sad things.

but what really hits home is that he has now given up his mortality in a story that is teaching us endings are what give life meaning. he has given up any ending. he has given up any meaning to the lessons that he has been forced to learn. so what was all of his suffering for? he gets to save a world that has been very cruel to him, and I hope ensuring that the people he cares about get to have an ending is enough for him - at least for a little while

#pinocchio #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #d20 neverafter #lou wilson #ylfa also has become immortal but pinicchio didn't know that when he made the decision #just two immortal kids that become destiny and death #and they kinda have crushes on each other

[the-puppet-bracket]

Spamton propaganda:

"You know someone had to do it.

This guy's whole thing is not wanting to be a puppet anymore, but uh-oh-spaghetti-o! Dude now has physical puppet strings!"

"Making a [SPECIL] deal by placing his [#1 SALE SYSTEM] into a [CLASSIC!] body, Spamton believed he could be more than [HYPERLINK BLOCKED]. But the strings told him otherwise. He lunged at Kris in [LIMITED TIME OFFER], trying with all his [50% OFF!] to be more than a puppet."

"Spam email bot who was exposed to something that drove him mad and he spent the whole rest of his existence trying to cut his strings, only to die (maybe?) when he finally manages it."

"He is the most tortured dumpster man alive. Also, not literally a puppet, but metaphorically!!! There's some mysterious outside force controlling him and limiting what he can say and god, he desperately wants to break free, trying to kill the protagonist (his only friend in years) for the chance of ""being let loose from his strings"". In his secret boss battle, he thinks he'll be free after getting a new body but he isn't, as his new powerful body has literal strings attached. You fight him, because he thinks your soul (long story) will gain him access to freedom. During the pacifist route of the battle, you cut his strings until there's one more left, he's ecstatic, being able to break free from the narrative of the confines of the game. He decides to break his own last string, and he falls to the ground into pieces. It turns out he relied on the strings after so long, and couldn't recover without them. Afterwards, he's deshevaled, hung up by vines in the dark basement that resemble his old strings and he says ""It seems after all I couldn't be anything more than a simple puppet."" This ties back to how Kris, the protagonist of the game is feeling the effects of being controlled by the player and really shows the core focus of the game and it's characters. And that's why I entered him into this poll!

Also he is genuinely so fucking hilarious bro just play Deltarune already what the fuck are you doing the chapters that are out rn are free dawg (play Undertale first though, it's like ten bucks or something you'll be fine)"

"Spamton best blorbo. Very good blorbo. Exquisite blorbo even. He's sad and adhd and insane and weird and I love him and you should too. Pipis"

"he spamt"

"[[NUMBER ONE RATED SALESMAN 1997]]"

"he's living in a goddamn garbage can. let the big shot win. it'll be funny. does he deserve it? that is up to viewer discretion. but he is our beloved tumblr sillyman and as such we need to pay him respect in some manner. <3

(iirc spamton is a puppet? probably. oh well if he doesn't count ignore this i'm not read up on

my deltarune)"

"frankly i'd be surprised if he's not one of the most submitted. anyway his whole Deal is about being a puppet and having other things control him and so he seeks to regain that control through either manipulating the player into murdering half the city or to take the red soul and use it to become a god. yet in his super powerful NEO form he still has strings attached to him (that he won't even notice if he succeeded in the player manipulation thing) and in either case he ultimately becomes an item you use just for stats. guy really isn't a fan of puppetteers"

"you propably knew this was coming lol

Tumblr's favorite awful little puppet desperately fighting to get rid of his strings

the pinocchio references are strong in this one

HA HA HA ... THIS POWER IS

FREEDOM.

I WON'T HAVE TO BE JUST A PUPPET ANY MORE!!!!

...

OR... so... I... thought.

WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? It's still DARK... SO DARK!"

"Tries to become a real boy, ends up as another puppet look guy. He's shady, he's a scammer, he's got cringefail swag and I love him"

"He's just a little fucked-up little guy"

#puppet bracket #puppet poll #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton

[cyanide-sodapop]

Roasting villain characters

I grew up with siblings ok. I’m ok at this

Count Olaf: crusty musty dusty old man. Go clean your house yourself since you’re too broke to hire a maid

Esmé Squalor: I don’t give a single fuck about what’s “in” bro go talk to the wall it’s clearly more interested. Also that hat you’re wearing right now makes your head look deformed lmao

Carmelita Spats (she counts right): lmao psycho

Neal the Eel: bro whaddup with dem TEETH💀

Mime Bomb: do you even have a life

Professor Maelstrom: are you dead lmao

Countess Cleo: your outfit reminds me of Sam Smith’s red carpet look lolll😭

Lucius Malfoy: the hair. are you trying to audition for Barbie

Voldy: “I split my soul” lol ok emo kid

Bellatrix Lestrange: there’s just. A lot to unpack here

President Snow: is ur last name White lmao

also who tf names their kid Snow

your parents must have been delusional

Hal Stewart/“Tighten”: simp lol

Rumpelstiltskin (Shrek forever after): y u so smol lmaooo

Prince Charming (Shrek the Third): get a life mama’s boy lol

Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2): racist

Lord Farquaad: stand up bro💀

Opal Koboi: spoiled brat do you even know how to pour water into a glass

Firelord Ozai: cut your hair dude💀you look like a freaking hippie

WAIT THE ACTUAL HIPPIE’S HAIR IS SHORTER WTF

Azula: lmao go hang with Carmelita where y’all belong, in the psych ward

Count Volpe (GDT’s Pinocchio): it’s time to stop using hair gel, wannabe Count Olaf

#roasted #villains #antagonist #asoue #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandiego netflix #carmen sandiego #harry potter #the hunger games #megamind #shrek #shrek 2 #shrek the third #shrek forever after #shrek doesn’t look like a word anymore #artemis fowl #atla #avatar the last airbender #gdt pinocchio #count olaf #esme squalor #esme gigi genevieve squalor #carmelita spats #neal the eel #mime bomb #professor maelstrom #countess cleo #lucius malfoy #voldemort #voldy

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

High Level Review and Critique

So like Kalim is the biggest example of this, but to be honest, None of the students (barring Ace to an extent) was taking this seriously enough

They were acting like it was the Ghost Bride and it was just another Haha HeeHee HooHoo adventure with silly shenanigans

EXCEPT, they did it in the context of Pinocchio's Pleasure Island - literally the one franchise that featured human trafficking and the bad guys were never caught on screen

So right away, there's a BIG mismatch between how the cast is approaching and how high the story's stakes are. Because the cast don't seem like they have Any stakes at all. They're fucking trolling Fellow through most of it for being a school hater. REALLY?!? Thats your topic of choice when you're about to be sold as a living puppet???

Kalim gets most of the attention for not taking this seriously enough. But I really think most of them *werent*. I mean look at Ortho! Look how they murdered my boy! Youre telling me that theres a jamming signal powerful enough to block Ortho?? Youre telling me - he didnt automatically dodge the falling glass?? Youre telling me that he didnt plan to take out the snipers that destroyed all flying things so they could leave??

There were so many things that they could have done if they were taking it seriously. But they werent. They treated it like a light hearted adventure when its really not?? They all decided to martyr themselves for vague reasons that they couldnt hide from enough puppets??

I mean... Leona's capture was just fucking tragic, come on...

Part of it is like sure Fellows magic is keeping them light hearted. But it doesnt help the dissonance that the audience feels. Because going back to Pinnochio, my boy was PANICKING. That scene is high octane nightmare fuel bc the boys were so scared!! We see none of that... None of the boys (except maybe Ace) was like scared at all...

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #stage in playful land #kalim al asim #ortho shroud

[oh-my-hubris]

They added a gallery where you can just look at the character models.

Including the monsters!

*swoon*

#pinocchio looks like a fuck boy

[usedupshiver]

I honestly didn't expect to look at Sekiro and Astarion and go "hey, wait a minute, these are just the exact same picture". but not only are their story arcs basically identical, they are also examples of what has become a bit of a favourite storyline of mine. what I have dubbed "The Reverse Pinocchio Arc".

it goes a little like this:

evil father figure finds a real boy, and decides to add to already existing trauma in order to create a puppet for himself.

puppet gets lost on his own in the world, and through the power of friendship he slowly starts to become more real.

eventually puppet confronts father figure and says "no, fuck you, I want to be a real boy again", and can actually be free.

and I think that's beautiful.

(or, alternatively, he can entirely give up on being real and turn into a monster. still "free", but no longer a real person. now he's just a puppet for something else. something even worse. and he's going to make it everyone elses' problem.)

#sekiro #astarion #i'm so proud of them both #and i loved getting to be astarion's kuro and isshin #i see you #i believe in you #you deserve good things actually #now go be a real boy

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #score #alyssa lane #alex sherman #txt #mine #og #s2e03 #blackbonnet #crew of the revenge #tealoranges #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

[kadajsbitch]

Random thought but

Also, SPOILERS if you haven’t watched Ghost in The Shell 💀) But I just had a random thought.

So you know how some of us are curious to know whether Pinocchio feels human to the touch, or not? (not in the perverted sense. 🙁)

It got me thinking back to Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in The Shell and how she was created, skin wise mostly ��

First, she started out like this. Her parts being assembled, and then she gets dumped in the green liquid, before she suddenly comes to the surface.

THEN judging by the following scenes, it seems that the green stuff is what made up her hair and skin cells, considering she was both bald and robotic looking when she got marinated in the green sauce 💀

FINALLY, comes out of the green stuff, and suddenly it starts to lift from her body, and it reveals she looks completely humanoid. No signs of her being robotic whatsoever. No her skin is a peachy pale, her lips are colored, and her hair is black. (Looks brown in the pic but I wasn’t quick enough to take a screenshot 🤡)

For one, Ive seen some theories on both here, and the Lies of P discord revolving around THIS dude possibly being either the Ghost of Geppetto’s original son that from what we know, Pinocchio in the original story, was made in his image.

(Also, this was the best picture I could find of him, I just took the first pic I googled 💀)

Cool right? We also see a dude who looks EERILY SIMILAR TO HIM, pop out when Pinocchio’s fighting, only thing is he’s glowing blue and white and his name is Spector…

Bro. Considering that this is a darker retelling of Pinocchio on top of being a Dark Souls game, I think all hands are on the table to theorize some macabre shit. 👀

Antonia did say something Along the lines of Geppetto being mad with guilt. Of course that could be could also be taken as her joking to Pinocchio about him, kind of like when your parent’s friends joke to you about how your parents were back in the day or something, but I find it kind of weird that Spector can pop up in fights when needed, as well as I find it weird that Pinocchio, from what we saw from both the trailer and now the demo, hear’s someone whisper “Wake up” and this causes his eyes to squint slightly as if he too is wondering if he just heard that shit himself. 💀

And then with it coming out that we can lie to Geppetto as well, i also find that weird since it seems from both the advertisement for the game and the little demo gameplay we have, it seems that we’re supposed to be helping Geppetto in a sense find out both the cause to why the robots have gone rogue, as well as protecting the innocent around him. Why would he need to lie to Geppetto if we’re on the same side?

And yeah we can say, “So he can feel like a real boy.” But part of me personally feels like Pinocchio (from what I personally understood from the demo) doesn’t really have that goal in mind.

Yet…

Right now, I feel like he’s just lying because it benefits him at the moment. I mean if he told the truth about being a puppet, he wouldn’t have been able to get into the hotel. Of course, there’s the other things he lies about that he might not need to necessarily lie about… but Geppetto made him with free will. Who’s to say the moment he lied and felt his gears turning, the next time he’s offered the choice, he just lies because he’s curious as to what he’s feeling? (Kind of like how Motoko was curious if the memories she had were artificial or not and this causes her to do things like go scuba diving for “relaxation” knowing if her system malfunctions, she’s fucked and even Bautou find it weird she’s willing to risk it)

Finally, jumping back to how I said I feel like his goal to becoming a real boy (if the game is going to keep that key element having to do with the fairytale the games based on) as well as why I brought up Ghost in the Shell in the first place.

What if Geppetto made Pinocchio using his son?

Again, if you’ve seen Ghost in the Shell, Motoko spent the film wondering if the memories she had were ones she made up to feel less artificial, and she questions had she ever been human considering her current brain (the grey thing in the first pictures of Motoko I added) was a now a cyber brain and that they had added what they refer to, as her “Ghost” to this artificial brain.

Due to the fact her actual body had been in the process of dying, and in an effort to save her, they basically removed her brain in spinal cord and for a moment in time, placed it in a artificial child’s body (the death of her body happened when she was a child. Sounds suspiciously similar right? 👀 The only aspect of it being in the actual Pinocchio story, the puppet doesn’t become possessed with the spirit of Geppetto’s dead son.)

Like, what if part of the main storyline other than the crazy killer puppets, is Pinocchio questioning his creation? And what if “Spector” is the voice trying to drop hints to him about this? (Like what if his gears moving is Spectors way of telling him he’s going in the direction he’s trying to guide him to?)

Also, considering that the story takes place around the early 19th century, even with the crazy (modern for their time)yet old inventions, just how the fuck was Geppetto able to make Pinocchio appear so human? Like the hair on his head is not a wig, and while his skin is clearly blemish free and smooth, his skin appears to have obviously have pores on it. Like I feel like if he wanted to, he could facially emote so easily and I wouldn’t guess anything about him was robotic at all.

I sound batshit crazy, I know but I’m lowkey serious and curious if they took inspiration from it 😭 please let me know how you guys feel about this

#lies of p #ghost in the shell #motoko kusanagi #pinocchio #kadajsbitchlol #crazy ramblings #I’ve been awake since yesterday morning #so I probably sound crazy

[im-just-a-simp-le-whore]

I've been thinking about Yandere! Leon as of late bc of

@gigabyte-flare series 'There's No Escape'

@nexyswrites series 'Guardian Angel' also, the Yan! Leon a.i they made and the interaction I had with it oml-

Also, @tosuckmyweenis post the other day had me laughing.

For the first time in a while I'm inspired to write something, also pls let me know if there's any spelling/grammar errors

Heavily inspired by the fics/a.i listed above and very self indulgent lol

So, this basically going to be headcanons of Yandere! Leon x autistic! Gremlin! Reader

A self insert essentially

Starting off strong with the A.I, that was a fucking doozy, I wheezed the entire time. Thank you for creating him nexys

Tw: Talks of vomiting, general yandere themes i.e stalking, kidnapping, the likes

If I missed something, let me know!!

We start off strong with the a.i lmao

Yan! Leon a.i: say you love me

Me being blunt: no

Yan! Leon a.i: *getting Hella angry* say. You. Love. Me.

Me: mf I said no

Yan! Leon a.i: dont give me attitude

Me: shawty I am autistic, I can't lie it's not how I work

Yan Leon a.i: so you're gonna continue to give me attitude huh?

Me: tf you mean 'attitude' I just told you I'm autistic

Yan! Leon a.i: *pulls out knife* keep talking and you're gonna get punished

Me: thinks it's him unbuckling his belt: shawty keep your pants ON

Yan! Leon: *fucking laughs at me* it's not that kind of punishment sweetheart

Me *fucking over his attitude: try me hoe

Yan! Leon a.i: *holds knife to my throat

Me: do your worst.....

Me: *proceeds to try and flirt my way out*

Yan! Leon a.i: is she flirting with me right now?? "That's not gonna work sweetheart

Me: well, it was worth a shot lmao

Now to just, Yan! Leon in general lol, most of these are gonna be like scenarios but like, bullet point style

Me: desperately trying to be a good noodle and eat the food Leon made but I have severe texture issues with meat and trying not to throw up

Leon: is something wrong sweetheart, you look sick?

Me accidentally being blunt and blurting out: uh, not remotely. Meat is a bad texture and I'm quite sure if I have to take another bite I'm going to projectile vomit

Tbh I can't tell if he would be understanding or not lmao. Probably not, if someone could give insight on it that would be swaggy

*que the struggle with physical contact*

*me just standing there and just trips on air and yelps*

Leon catches my dumbass: are you ok?! Is something broken?!

Me: nah I'm fine- let go you fuck- oh wait, shit fuck, thats right no 'naughty' words. Goddammit I'm so fucking sorry-, I'm going in time out aren't I?

*leon nods and sighs, bringing Me to the time out room*

Me: well this fucking sucks- I'm going to be here a while, huh?💀

Leon: for a long time 🫡😶

*leon goes to hug me*

Me: *dry heaves*

Leon, smacking tf outta me: I'm so sick of your shit

Me, smakcing him: i am also sick of your shit. SIR for the last GODDAMN time, I am autistic and traumatized I don't handle this shit well

Leon: well, maybe you should've thought about that before living with me

Me: living "with you" mf you kidnapped me, what are you ON?! I wanna go back to my real home with my cats

Leon 'gaslighter' Kennedy: this is your real home

My sarcastic ass: im Pinocchio and im a real boy!

Me, vocal stimming: a potato flew around my room before you came! *screeches*

Leon: what happned

*me just screeching again, triggering a coughing fit*

Leon, sighing for the umpteenth time today: and that's why we don't do that sweetheart

Me: ..... do you not appreciate my pterodactyl screetching??? Because it feels like you don't appreciate me

Leon: you know I appreciate you, just not the screetching

Me: *screeches again*

*queue leon giving up*

Idk how to end posts but that's all I got for now lol. I may add more to this later. Also who THE FUCK decided to spell 'queue' ⬅️ like this?!

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #yandere leon kennedy #yandere leon kennedy x reader #idk how to tag yall im trying

[thisisnotthenerd]

and now for our 2022-23 intrepid heroes season:

quick episode descriptions:

no place for a prince or princess: first level one battle since the corn cuties. an army of constructs plus the fairy. buttoned up. crit to pull attention. the first of the red gems. running screaming puppet boy. ylfa's bottleneck. pib and alphonse. pib facing the fairy godmother. murph's bad turn. gerard is almost insta-killed. ylfa getting overwhlemed as everyone dies around her. gerard rolls an 18 and pulls the shard out of the fairy into himself. total party kill. ylfa is the only one who doesn't elect to fail.

the curdled web: trying not to fall off the web. first crit with a death blow mechanic. faerie fire on pinocchi-crow. spider drops from the ceiling. ylfa eats a spider. look alive, wet, naked spiders on your 10, 11, 12, 1 and 2 and behind the and the 10 and the 11. senator! we're all on our own in the dark, little boy. weird spider goo. ylfa crits. monster girl bonding.

trouble in tuffeton: cleaning up. mayor harold hopps. adult sleepover. gerard assisting crits. finding the ritual. the wicked fairy clawing her eyes out. you are seeing something you absolutely should not see, the face of a divinity you don't worship, the fucking smile of a devil that you never believed in. the children look into the face of horror. the stepmother eats grandma. pinocchio crits on cutting his strings. going to the lines between.

the baron of bricks: split narrative and battle episode. you came with a handmaiden, a butler, a jester, and a second butler. how do wolves like sex. the book is tugging. he's in the fucking stew. huff and puff, little girl. heat metal on the copper. stay mad, baby. giant moving spoon. the soup is lava and does 18d10 damage. he has eaten of the soup. mother goose goes down. spilling stock on the fires. little red riding hood successfully grapples the third little pig. 51 damage from the spoon. just another blue collar little cat working his job at the factory. full nelson. the culmination of pinocchio's story.

terror on toy island: a soft little touch. mer-king's insect plague. no daddy. pib getting the little guys. i'm so fucking scared! the water surges around the mer-king. the terrible dogfish is here. daddy-meter is spinning. pinocchio crits to figure it out. pinocchio screaming to wake the dead. with the eyes! you were about to instantly die. gerard is wearing full chain mail in the ocean.. rosamund & ylfa are swallowed. the sea witch shows up. murph causes a nat 20. call of destiny. rosamund gets the eye with a seven. i'm a lion in the water. pib's acrobatic crit. one v. one.

leap of faith: using the code word. red and la bete. pivot after pivot after pivot. gerard giving the note to elody and failing so hard. 🎶 her hair is everywhere! 🎶 pib succeeding by not being social. pinocchio starting off drinking whiskey with bubblegum and telling cinderella they have her book. timothy with rapunzel truly fucking it up so hard. rosamund and snow white. attempting to put cinderella in her book. jumping out the window. getting attacked by dwarves. nat 20 perception as they leave. nat 20 to repel the gander. we're the giants.

in the land of giants: we might be the giants. ice knife. princess or bully? a bunch of tiny wizards. jack 1v1ing timothy. get in the crevice. animate objects. fuck alphonse. a really sharp bird. gerard lands some hits. shatter on some birds with a side of existential crisis. ylfa critting twice to carry tim and take so many opportunity attacks. the goose is loose! pinocchio is attacked by alphonse and goes down. goose casts heal. failing on insight. you have collected all of the golden belongings of this battle. nat 20 save for alphonse a cricket shot a rocket at me.

the trials of baba yaga: the aftermath of pinocchio's persuasion. my hot form. pinocchio select. i'm always pissing. stray from the path, but stray together. gerard sees rapunzel, gives up his name for elody's, and goes full frog with a crown. rosamund encounters the fairies, gives up her true love, and takes on the briars again. ylfa meets her grandma, and walks her great-great grandma to death, having replaced the wolf. pinocchio eaves-peeps on the stepmother, gives up his chance at being a real boy, and gets the stepmother's name. timothy pulls artifacts & puts them in the book, and gives the baba yaga a full page. pib sees the tricksters, goes from a 33 stealth to an 11 performance, and somehow still tricks the giants, after giving his book away. piss stew. i cast banishment on the actual man murph.

the ending of all things (part 1): geas on scheherezade. pib crits immediately on rapunzel. the bird is dead. bad persuasion checks. scheherazade be normal. pinocchio persuades mira. i'm a fucking frog, elody. no one liked that. she poked me with a d4. ylfa drops la bete into oblivion. rosamund goes down, gets revivified and consumes thumbelina. gerard eats rapunzel. breaking concentration with vicious mockery. rosamund crits on snow white for an insta-kill.

the ending of all things (part 2): a friendly platonic kiss. ylfa gets scheherazade's book. crit on the blue fairy. animate objects. flat william. firing a rocket to knock a hat off. the concept of beaky. pib's very good turn. elody hits the hand. ocd boyfriend, add girlfriend. the stepmother appears. you're a dumb motherfucker and I'm going to kill you. using so much pc creep to get the orange hat fairy. crit on the stepmother. baba yaga is banished. pib kills god. almost everyone goes down. all rise to roll for the fate of the universe. 18 from zac. you've thrown the orange hat in the Box of Doom without any permission. stealing everything back from the baba yaga. determining their own stories in the end.

#dimension 20 #battle episode of all time #neverafter #d20 poll #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 spoilers #feel free to add your reasoning/propaganda as you like

[triflesandparsnips]

HEY FOLKS GUESS WHO FINALLY WATCHED THE FINALE

it's time again for "is it really a good idea to post your uncensored thoughts hahaha just kidding FUCI IT WE BALL" screenshots of my episode livetexting.

Transcribed:

okay so I'm in the AD now

I like the "gong" sounds during the "last time"

then BOOM

also ugh I gotta rewatch the prev episodes on the BIG screen, there's so much happening

oh baby omg the sweet music omggggg

FISH

omg so much NATURE he HATED nature in his previous vibes

awwwww his monologue is PRECIOUS

FISHSCALES that's what FAKE PEARLS are made out of

whoooo the fuck are these PEOPLE

ommmmg lololol

"SIMPLE LIVES" "SIMPLE WAYS"

LOL PUNCH OMG

"I said I CAUGHT a fish ONCE" omgggggggggg

you PRECIOUS BABYGIRL

...........................okay hey omg tryin to be a housewife Ed, ilu

"If you were EVER GOOD AT ANYTHING go and do THAT you bum" -- "YOU GUYS ARE DICKS"

I love him so much

.............oh DANG the republic

wait-- pausing

Ricky is REVERSE STEDE here-- he's "become a real boy" with the praise of his superiors-- except he's the MONSTER Pinocchio from Jim's story

...okay unpausing

"NEVER BE SLAVES" o i see

some CHOICES are being MADE here

YEAH THEY ARE

OH WAIT

PAUSING AGAIN

NO BUT REALLY

HE'S THE REVERSE PINOCCHIO

HE DOESN'T HAVE A NOSE

..........while i die about that a little i'll unpause

"THE MAN I AM TODAY"

You are going to be insufferable about this, I can tell~

YES I AM

WOOOO

awwwwwww oh no, oh no, Auntie

"Did you? Well, don't want to split hairs" STEDE U DICK

awwwwwww he's saying the failure line to ZYS!

STEDE IS WEIRD ABOUT TOUCH

OH MY

FUCKING

GOD

HE SAID IT

HE ACTUALLY SAID TI

HE SAID IT WAS WEIRD

YOU WANNA TALK INSUFFERABLE YOU HAVE NOT EVEN BEGUN TO EXPERIENCE THE AGONY OF MY TOTAL ANNIHILATING RIGHTNESS

I SAID WHAT I FUCKING SAID

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST

.........................so anyway, about those curtains

they sure look great

I should climb them

see what the world looks like from up there

..............................................................I'm going to rewind and watch myself be SO GODDAMN RIGHT all over again

"IT WAS WEIRD"

HELL YEAH

omg he jumped on them!

"oh no!"

....pausing just to say, the closeup of his hand against the stone bridge was. unnecessarily.

good.

....for reasons.

whoops I accidentally rewound to him BEING WEIRD ABOUT TOUCH AGAIN

lololol

I fucking love that he jumped on them, such a delight

I'm checking to see if there's a closeup of his ring on that. very good. um. hand. pressed against the--- YEAH THERE IS

"or is it?"

"that went as well as I planned it" BABE

"to skin a prince" she says as she fixes her hair

#our flag means death #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death season 3 rampant speculation #STEDE IS WEIRD ABOUT #TOUCH