#people say they hate moving i dont get it i love moving

[marnikula]

Can u do early seasons spencer x reader who has a lot of problems and they let people walk all over them and they dont set boundaries and they struggle with their emotions. Reader likes spencer a lot but doesn't seek him out bc they feel like he deserves better! And u can decide what happens but make it happy ending :)

Oh my word, I literally spent like 2 hours writing this because I wrote something and then my internet cut out when I posted and now it's lost, so I had to rewrite it. Hope you enjoy!

Cw: gn reader, people dumping work on reader, Spencer being cute

Enjoy!

You were a doormat. You knew it, your friends knew it, everyone knew it. You tried to set boundaries, to say no, but it never seemed to stick. Saying no made you feel guilty, it made you feel like a bad person even though you knew you weren't.

Being a doormat, people tended to walk all over you, requesting ridiculous things of you. That is how it came to be that you were sitting alone in the bullpen, the clock ticking away, showing you that it was around midnight and you still had a whole stack of papers to go through. You felt yourself about to fall asleep, and truly, you were too tired to fight it off when a ding signaled the arrival of someone.

Without even turning to look who it was you knew it was Spencer Reid. You recognized his footsteps, and even if you didn't, the smell he brought with him would have alerted you. It was the smell of coffee mixed sweet undertones, almost as if he had spent his whole day in a café. It was intoxicating. "What are you still doing here?" "Working, I have a lot of stuff to finish before tomorrow" "you mean today" looking back at the clock you could see he was right, it was now officially the next day.

"Do you need some help?" without even waiting for you to decline Spencer took half of the pile you were working on. He moved fast, knowing you well enough to know that you hated asking for help, especially from him, he just could never figure out why.

"Spencer, you really don't need to, I've got this" reaching your hands to take the files back only to be swatted away by the doctor was something you did not expect. "I'm not saying you don't have it, I'm just going to help you so you can go home earlier"

Sighing you admitted defeat and went to go make coffee for the two of you. With Spencer's help you managed to make it through the massive stack of papers on your desk in less that an hour, something you would never have been able to do on your own.

"You, doctor Spencer Reid, are amazing, what can I do to thank you?" it was a slight tease on your part. You didn't expect him to ask you anything return, it wasn't like him, he was too nice . That was one of the things you loved about him, and one of the reasons you willed the crush growing in your heart to shrivel up and die. He deserved so much better than you. Someone with a mind as amazing as his own, someone with kindness rivaling his and someone who knew how to say no. You were none of those. At least not in your own eyes.

"You could go on a date with me" Spencer surprised himself with those words, he really hadn't meant to say them out loud, but he really liked you, and in a moment of confidence inspired by sleep deprevation, he decided to take a chance.

"Really? You mean it?" the both of you were blushing hard at this point, him thinking about how he could have possibly screwed this up and you thinking about how this could possibly get any better.

"I-I mean, only if you want to, you really don't have to feel pressured, I know I said I would take it as paiment, but honestly spending time with you was enough of a payme-" grabbing his face in your hands you turned him to look at you, shutting off his ramblings with the movement and shutting off his brain with your words

"I would love to"

#dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #doctor spencer reid #bau #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff

[marmorenshud]

Im getting excited about moving even tho I don't actually want to move or leave I just love the process of packing and unpacking I almost wanna pack all my stuff and then just unpack it again as stupid as that sounds

#caw #something wrong w my brain i think #people say they hate moving i dont get it i love moving #i start packing like way too early bc i get so excited #its like the satisfaction of playing tetris #but w stuff you care about so its an added bonus #just like... boxes. go click #its a year from now and im already making lists and shit LMAO #probably bc i just had a mini-move w the exchange #i should join a moving/packing company or smth

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

“Omg Edward and Bella are so Odysseus and Penelope coded” that’s how it sounds to me each time anyone compares a mlm ship to achilles and patroklos

#just say that you only know 3 mlm couples and move on #no one makes that kind of comparasions with straight couples no one #yknow why #because no one lumps them together! they are allowed to be different even if they have physical similarities! #yes this is specifically about rwrb heartstopper and yr #they are like the big three' regarding mIm fiction and i just dont get it?? #plus they are ALWAYS compared to tsoa achilles and patroklos #sure theyre good but they are all treated like they are the same thing like all the characters are similar #spoiler alert they arent #(straight) people mix their personalities together to make a palpable smoothie that they can drink and say ‘oh im such an ally dont you see’ #plus when comparing them to achilles and patroklus they mean tsoa patrochilles obviously #because their characters are SO BLAND in that book that their personality can be altered for personal enjoyment and still be same #‘alex and henry and charlie and nick and simon and wilhelm are SO achilles and patroclus😍🥺’ #do you know literally any other mlm fictional couple? have you ever read a mlm book written by a gay guy? #because as far as i know heartstopper rwrb and yr arent made by gay guys #and while that is fine the representation is very good and alice and casey are both queer #i have the suspicion that the straight women that say that have never read anything writtenby a gay guy because i did and let me tell you #they write things very differently they are unapologetically queer they arent palpable to *that* straight audience #yknow i love casey and not saying their books arent queer (they absolutely are) but for example heartsopper since its idealized #its not something that make you feel the struggles and the hate etc so strsight audiences can binge on it without seeing themselves #reflected on the homophobic characters or have their own prejudices be turned upside down #anyway fck madeline miller fck fetishizing borderline homophobic women who only read mlm and for the love of god leave rwrb and yr ALONE #rwrb #young royals #heartstopper #achilles #patroklos #achilles and patroclus

[legendary-assassin-stance]

oh i'm sorry, i didn't realize we were taking moral standing points from the asura now. y'know. the race that full-hog experimented and ripped apart sylvari even after knowing they were wholly sapient beings (and it wasn't even inquest! it was regular fucking asura! the arcane council most definitely okayed those experiments! never mind the fact that the council TO THIS DAY fucking openly allows inquest to do as they please so long as they don't cause trouble in rata sum) and have done little to nothing to apologize for that fact to their sylvari allies.

but no, you're right, the humans are the worst race in tyria just by way of existing and trying to find a place for themselves. how could i have ever thought different?

#from beyond the grave #hi i'm going to go fucking feral #I'M NOT EVEN A HUGE HUMAN FAN. i have them and i love the ones i do have! but i greatly prefer sylvari as my playable race. #what the FUCK are you talking about #“did everything they can to push other people off their land” are you talking about pushing charr out???? cus uh. #i don't know how to tell you this but the charr STOLE THAT LAND IN THE FIRST PLACE EVEN BEFORE HUMANS #dont even get me started on their HoT take (the One Expansion that anet gave sylvari before forgetting they exist) #and the icebrood one (the charr should have never been the fucking main focus of the goddamn NORN PLOT ANYWAYS) #the “human interference” in icebrood was literally a fucking BLIP amongst the bullshit of the charr getting involved #don't even fucking talk to me about “humans being lynchpins” for icebrood. it should have had NOTHING but NORN LORE. #it was the NORN PLOT. jormag had always been NORN STORY AND PLOT. #“buhbuhbuh humans” I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THE CHARR SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE EITHER #it's extremely telling that you don't care that the charr shouldn't have been there either #and only focused on the .0000000000003 seconds that kas helped in anything related to the plot #while also framing crecia and rytlock's relationship problems throughout as “human-looking” squabbling #god forbid rytlock get some character development where he WANTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for his kid #(even tho it should've happened in a charr-centric story thread and NOT THE FUCKING NORN ONE ANET) #and every charr in the world is like “but why do you care??” because charr society is so incredibly FUCKED re: their kids #“being attentive to the story” my fucking ass. just say you fucking hate humans as a race and move the fuck on. #i didn't mean to rant this much in the tags but the more i stared at the post the more i felt like biting someone #OH. OH SORRY. i just noticed that #the person was like “lol inquest figured out how to harness elder dragon energy before xunlai <3” #JUHGTFJHKDFJHGLKFD ?????? #okay for one the inquest are a bunch of literal rat bastards who caused a NUCLEAR REACTOR EXPLOSION in metrica #i'm not going to trust a fucking inquest ANYWHERE NEAR ME let alone praise them for “ethical” dragon energy #the “uhm ACKSUALLY S W E A T Y” tone of voice re: canthan tech vs. asuran is asinine and also annoying as fuck #“all of PoF was about humans :(” IT IS LITERALLY. ABOUT A HUMAN GOD? IT IS *THE* HUMAN XPAC. #IT WAS NOT A SURPRISE FOR IT TO BE HUMAN THEMED? WE KNOW ELONA IS H U M A N S ? #yet again. what the FUCK are you even talking about. #OKAY. jesus christ. i think i'm finally done bitching about this.

[littencloud9]

.

#i am SO fucking sick of people who love to shove it down my throat that they dislike taylor swift just bc i said im a swiftie #LIKE OKAY. DO YOU WANT A MEDAL #im saying i like her music im not saying shes a god or a saint that i worship and follow 24/7 #‘her music is mid’ ‘her lyrics are like a teenage girl’ bitch youve only listened to fucking shake it off and blank space #and even if her music didnt speak to you i dont CARE lmao #why do people insist on making others feel bad for something they like just bc it’s popular #sorry i listen to the blonde white woman. how does that affect you in any way #the most annoying part is that they bring her up ALL the time. commenting on her fan pages or on posts that dont even mention her #cause how are you this obsessed and you claim to hate her #AND YEAH. THE FAN BASE SUCKS ASS SOMETIMES. some swifties are creepy and invasive and have no boundaries i get it #but that’s literally every celebrity fandom lmfao #you can shit on her for her terrible environmental practices. or her business moves that drain money from her fans #cause those are objective and frankly true #but why is she the only celebrity that gets shit on for it. why dont you carry that same energy to other artists #it’s genuinely so nitpicky and annoying #football fans get to be crazy about their sport but swifties getting emotional over her concerts are immature and brainless #be so fr. im so tired #tldr if you dont like ts u dont have to force it in a fan’s face. youre not being more mature or smarter #youre just an asshole #vent #i guess #sorry. this is such a trivial issue but alas

[musicalghost413]

i miss being myself. i miss being so openly trans.

#here people actively move away from me when i am #here every time i see another queer person and i try to smile at them they look with fear #and i understand #im scared too #here people look at me like a thing #i dont know #it wasnt like before it was perfect #but at least people cared less about making me feel actively othered #at least i could go to soho and feel somewhat free #at least i could dress how i wanted and id get some one stopping me to tell me they love my boots or my pins or my hair #and i could smile big at them and know we were the same #at least if they hated me they wouldnt say it #at least if they didnt like me they would just look away #im scared #im scared the trans harrassment and deaths dont even make the news #im scared im not hearing about it because no one cares #glub.txt

[groupwest]

i fucking agreed to go to the staff christmas party what is actually wrong with me

#only finally agreed becuz my coworker who everyone else hates begged me to go and im like ok fine we can be outcasts together #its awful like how dare someone be eccentric and themselves and tell you they love you more often than a work acquaintance normally would #like she annoys me too sometimes yes. but so does everybody? just move on or mention something to them. do not just fucking #gossip behind their back to me. i don’t like it i don’t know what you want me to say #i can picture too easily you doing the same about me. its crazy how people dont feel that way themselves ?? or do they just not care #maybe i will get a chance to connect with them all more. maybe i will just cancel last second. it doesnt even matter anyways

[kafkaesqueer]

This is what it feels like to be a closeted queer in a homophobic household hearing your family talking shit about lgbt while you're slowly dying inside (but you gotta smile through the pain because you can't blow your cover)

#can't wait to move out #but economy is shit and rents are sky high :') #i have no money no prospects and I'm frightened #i know im gonna get disowned if i come out #and im financially not ready for that. yet. #dont think its sth you can be ready for emotionally. i mean i say idc but like. i probably do. a lot. even though I hate my parents #its like whenever my mom tells me she loves me no matter what im like no you dont. you think you do but you don't #you dont know shit about me. youll never accept who i am and i hate you for that #but you're still my mom and part of me still loves and wants to be loved by you even though I hate you #gonna watch people coming out to their supportive parents and cry like a baby #im so envious and bitter #rant

[autisticlee]

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.

#it happens every time!!!!!!!! i dont havw the spoons amd energy to keep giving these people every piece of me. theres nothing left!!!!! #people always tell me keep trying dont give up dont cut yourself off from everyone etc #but everyone cuts ME off so wtf am i supposed to do????? keep wasting energy and brain power just to let them keep doing it?! #its like if you spend a year carefully crafting a custom blanket for someone. putting in all your love and time and energy. give it to them #AND THEY SER IT ON FIRE AND WALK AWAY. NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING HOW HARD YOU WORKED OR ANYTHING #that's what its like every time i try with people. it's a waste and i never get anything good out of it 😭 #so why would it be wrong to protect myself by taking the part of the cold and unresponsive one for once? act like them instead? #no try or give someone much attention until they do like i always did and put in a ton of effort and keep it going? #if someone tries as hard as i always did then they must be good and worthy of keeping around and putting some effort into myself right? #ugh idk. i hate all of this and humans arent good at being good friends and im tired of trying to be one too #perhaps me not trying will make people think i dont care about them so they give up still anyway. well oh well #that means they didnt try gard enough and would have given up anyway. if i dont get attached or care much first then it hurts less #i know everyone tries to make me feel better by saying stuff like the right ones exist and my people are out there or whatever #but i will not believe it until i see it. because it's possible that is not true. it's possible i'll never have real/close friends #what then????? what do i do about that?? people love telling me i'll find the right people but no one steps up to try being that one #this all sounds doom and gloom but I'm just venting. in reality i just give it 3 tries. #if a person makes excuses or doesnt respond or doesnt carry the conversation 3 times on a row i will give up and it's their move. #if they dont come forward at all then we are done and i will never reach out to or speak to them again. if they want me they can prove it #lee rambles #autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #autistic friendship #friendship problems #loneliness #communication #cptsd #rsd #the fun thing about the cptsd and rsd combo is when people do these things i get hit with a wave if every past experience and relive it 🙃

[todayisafridaynight]

OH about the finale at the shrine, this completely slipped my notice when we were talking about it, but Ichi says he's "reporting" Jo's verdict to both Arakawa and Masato. It's just not translated that way.

Not too big of a difference (well, it is to me, but I'm insane), but if it was highlighting anything, I'd guess it's probably Masato's change of heart. It would've been fair for Ichi to assume Masato wouldn't care and only "report" to Arakawa, but in the context of Ichi doing his damnedest to show Masato they all love him, it works in terms of, "Maybe I made him reconsider, and maybe now he would care."

Also... I'm looking at it in a "measured" way, since the chapter trophies are always just standard "Nth Chapter Cleared" messages that the localization team just spices up for us, but there's something I find really poignant about the Chapter 13 trophy being worded as "Fate of Our Fathers." The pluralization of both the noun and pronoun. Realizations that come too late.

Of course, Masato definitely didn't "know" and had no real reason to suspect it, but the Arakawas have this bizarre subconscious almost-psychic link. So even if he doesn't really think so, there's this sense that Ichi "might as well" be Arakawa's "real" son because they're so much more alike. And maaaybe he felt that way about Jo and himself at one point, because (as we've discussed) there has to be a reason Jo was Masato's "favorite."

[Follow up to this ask]

#snap chats #yeah i have no real notes sorry LMAO LIKE THIS IS GOOD ON ITS OWN YK. every base is covered #LIKE nothing i could say could really enhance anything or add much. god im so bad at words i should drop dead right now #i can reaffirm that masato definitely sees ichi as arakawass 'real' son if his whole 'you remind me of dad' bit is anything to go off of #thats a weird line/sentiment now aint it #masato didnt consider him and ichi as family and ergo he's angry at how similar ichi and arakawa are #i guess that's more of a deep-dive into that hypothetical masato essay ill probably never get to- why masato hates arakawa like he does #about 'fate of /our/ /fathers/' tho thats def an interesting point no matter how you slice it #'our fathers' could refer to arakawa and sawashiro and ichi and masato respectively #i.e. masumi- ichi's bio father and sawashiro- masato's bio father- and what happens to them by the end of the game yk #there's an alt way to see if as both arakawa and sawashiro as both ichi and masato's fathers #though im gonna chewing my cheek on that one. sure we've compared sawashiro to an abusive stepparent #idk... i think it's just cause ichi shows up well into his teens that it doesnt register in my brain that sawashiro could be a father figur #but thats MY personal dumb ass rambling im just here to vaguely try to interpret the title in multiple ways to cover everything #moving on tho... the use of 'our' prevents 'fathers' referring to only one of them . so. Aforementioned Possibilities have been listed #making it sound like i have anything else to say I DONT I ALREADY SAID EVERYTHING dummy. putting myself in the dunce corner #on that note. hopefully it finally got through to masato how much people loved him before he got ganked #i mean for sure it did but yk. still mad about y7 ending im gonna kill someone In Minecraft #'i have nothing else to say' LIAR YOU ARE A LIAR !!!!! THE FUCK ARE THESE TAGS STUPID ASS #anyway im going back to my google doc. im almost done with another cringe fic. sorry #BYE

[nazumichi]

they weren’t lying, that dis sure can connect.

#raii talks a lot #arghrgaghrhhghg #spanish is hard and my head feels weird part the next one of a thousand #i always feel so weird when i’m flimsy with spanish and just. idk. kinda feel disconnected #which isn’t strictly my fault i’m a slow learner and my household despite the people in it doesn’t #idk how to say this AUGH. i just feel a little disconnected sometimes and i want to get MORE connected and learning spanish #is my way of going about that but sometimes i feel. i can’t think of a better word argh imposter-like #which i shouldn’t. because i’m latino. but sometimes it’s just. feel like i’m not doing great with it. i lost an alter my dad got me #from his time in mexico i lost it over the move and it’s kind of weighing in the back of my skull because i had that for a second #and i don’t have it anymore and i loved it extremely and i don’t have it and i’m feeling just. icky. #i hate visiting my abuelos because they’re both pieces of shit but it’s nice to see the family i’ve got that actually speak spanish #and participate in that culture unlike my other grandparents who. don’t do that. I DONT KNOW I FEEL WEIRD #and i miss that little statue my dad got me and i don’t know where it is my best guess is i lost it in the move #is this a vent. i don’t vent often on here because i get nervous if no one likes the post or i feel like it’s a stupid thing to feel upset #abt. i’ll be fine in a second i’ll search when i get home just. arugh i need to get better at spanish but i don’t think my meds #are working and i want to have a better hold on. this thing. culture i guess. is that the word. i don’t know. slayyyy

[yawn-emoji]

#who i was march 24 2022 and who i am now are completely different people. i remember crying in caffe reggio to zay sun and adiba because #my dad was in the hospital and we didnt know why and we werent even there to support him and my mom because we had travelled to nyc that #morning. and the whole trip was overshadowed by this sense of grief and fear and horror at what was unfolding back at home while i was #trying to pretend everything was okay and that i was fine. i never cry in public but i cried on the q train while visiting my coworker who #lives in manhattan and then i sobbed in a xi’an famous foods location in manhattan w my brothers because the cheapest and earliest train #home was that night and i had no idea what to do w myself #and when we got home finally we all knew what the diagnosis was but nobody wanted to say it not even the doctors. i dont think anyone used #the actual word cancer to us for months. they cloaked it in such technical terms so as to make it easier to swallow but it was still like. #an elephant in the room yk? nobody told us the stage either but it was a stage iv glioblastoma and i remember going on r/glioblastoma and #just crying reading all the posts abt how difficult this disease is. most projections were six months to a year and a half. a lot of people #even chose not to get treatment because of the high probability that it would make no difference to the prognosis. i have no idea whether we #made the right choice going w chemo or not honestly. only time will tell i guess. inshaAllah this will prove to have been the right choice #idk what im even trying to say now. i just dont reflect a lot on where i was when this started because it’s… almost too painful. i have #given up so much for my dad at this point and i still feel like it’s not enough but also i’ve been trapped by this sickness and i’ve given #up my life to it and idk how to rebuild myself from here. i need to move on w my life but what if these are the last moments w him and i #take those for granted by not staying home to take care of him and spend time w him. again idk what im trying to say here i just have no #idea how we got to this place. it still feels like some insane fever dream that i will suddenly awaken from #seeing pictures of my dad even from 2021 is the hardest thing. i have no idea what happened to that bright funny charismatic loving man. he #is literally a shell of himself at this point and i hate it. it actually turns my stomach sometimes because it all is so wrong #none of this was supposed to happen he was supposed to retire peacefully somewhere tropical in a couple years not get diagnosed w cancer #journal #illness tw

[arthur-r]

hi how is everybody doing??

#im ok im a little bit terrified about how i’m graduating in a couple seconds #by which i mean months but it feels that way #and like hooray i get to move away and be transgender and study history and help people and everything i’ve always wanted to do #but also. the kids in my graduating class. i dont know all of them. a lot of them hate me. but at least they’ve been familiar faces #and the idea of going away to a college where nobody knows my name is kind of terrifying #like i know the entire point is to reinvent myself. but isn’t that scary?? i’m going to become somebody new and that terrifies me #anyway i’m so normal regular. in other news i’m about to have a cranberry orange muffin. so wish me luck with that #anyway there’s this girl i kind of like and i kind of wanted to say something but now it’s kind of pointless #she’s going to the u of m. i’m going to wisconsin. that’s just the end of the road isn’t it?? #nothing is strong enough to say anything. but the problem is it’s like this in high school and i go to college and reinvent myself #then what?? i leave college and reinvent myself again!!!! get a masters reinvent myself again!! move towns reinvent myself again!! #struck by the realization that nothing in life is ever permanent except for death. how terrifying is that #anyway i am so normal and regular and cool and good feeling. everything will really truly be okay it’s just #idk. it’s weird being at this stage in my life. didn’t mean to ramble on like that though #so anyway i hope you all are well and would love to know how you are doing. other than this stuff i’m just hanging out #sending all the love to my senior friends who are in this predicament. and my junior friends who aren’t here yet. and whoever else shdhdf #but especially my friends who are my age or like a year older who are in this same kind of soon-to-be-overwritten high school experience #wish you the best of luck finishing and starting over. and try not to take it as seriously as i’m doing its probably not that bad rationally #and so anyway i hope you are doing well and let me know how you’ve been!! hope everybody is okay #ask to tag idk if this was vent territory but it was like. kinda nearly. i can tag with whatever #me. my post. mine. #college talk #(sorry!!) #delete later

[bardicious]

I have somehow slipped into the discourse.

#Bardicious Personal Entry #oooooo staaaap Im done #I just needed to vent a little #sometimes people need to vent! so they can move on! #for the love of god - this isn't warming me up to t*ika #if people wanted me to warm up to the guy why wouldnt you show me how progressive he is rather than just saying Im wrong???? #like why would I believe that after seeing these films? #And him playing a gay character doesn't mean shit! Blaine was a gay character and he was the most toxic femme hating dude ever #but most of the glee characters were awful so theres that #yah dont get this shit when it's something universally hated for being BORING weirdly enough #I wonder why it's okay to complain about other things and not marvel hmm. #you know I actually saw a post saying people who were queerbaited deserve to get baited by marvel because they should know better??? #like WOW? THATS the company youre supporting

[haunted-house-heart]

living with someone with untreated mental illness is like. i understand why you're like this and i do empathize but also like. jesus fucking christ get some help before i throttle you i stg

#i hate my sis so much. like i get it. i really do. a lot of how she acts is due to mental illness and trauma but at the same time she also #just really shitty. like ik recovery is different for everyone and you move at your own pace but she just. isnt recovering at all it seems #like its been 6yrs since we got out and my mom and i have worked really hard on getting better and changing our behaviors #all the while shes just getting worse and worse to be around. like shes legitimatrly turning into my (abusive) father #its terrifying honestly but we cant do anything about it bc you cant talk to her #you say like ''hey this thing you did upset me can you please try to not do that again'' not angry or anything and she starts crying and #yelling bc youre triggering her and its not fair and nobody loves her and like. i get that some people cry a lot and thats fine! i get that #but its literally impossible to talk to her about anything bc she acts like shes the victim and youre fuckin evil for telling her to please #not put her dirty clothes on my shelf i dont like that please. like thats not an unreasonable request and im not being mean about it! but #im the bad guy for doing anything that critisises her. #and she treats my mom like shit. like i could deal w her being a bitch to me but to momma? fuck no. #i dont believe you owe your parents shit but my mom has been a fucking saint when life dealt her a hand that shouldve made her a devil #she did her absolute best and *she* was the one that sacrificed everything to get us out #and my sister treats her like shes an incapable selfish idiot. #and she never lets me talk. shell talk for an hour about smth she knows i dont care about but when i try to tell her like. hey my fav band #is putting out a new album or smth im real excited about. she gets on her phone and just ignores me. #and she KNOWS this triggers me badly its made me suicidal before and yknow what happened then? i had to apologize for making HER feel bad #she talks over both of us but it you start talking when she was THINKING about talking she has a fit #and she actively tries to gaslight my mom. like im dead fuckin serious my mom has to ask me if smth really happened bc my sis told her it #did/didnt and she has to get me to confirm the truth for her #and she treats her pets like crap she should not be allowed to have pets bc she just loses interest in them and stops taking care of them #and we have to pick up the slack #its literally just like being with my dad again. walking on eggshells all the time #my mom cant watch tv at night bc ellie gets pissed at her for ''waking her up''. even tho she claims she never sleeps. #i hate her so so much i want to punch her i want her to move out i want to never ever see her again #but rn we cant afford to live on our own. so we have to stay with her #anyway. #vent #tw abuse

[borzologist]

bitches hate me cause they know that i can fuck

#mine #stop being haters! lol #tbh i dont care for those who hate me #i have a life to live bitch! #i dont have time for you! #i mean yeah it hurts. a lot sometimes #but i gotta move on #no matter how much it pains me #sometimes u gotta let go. #sometimes without even getting to say goodbye. #if i ever were to reconcile i'd need them to apologize too #so thats outta the picture for now loool :3 #anyways #i hope all my followers and family are having a lovely night! #and you know what? #i hope my haters are too! #if you dont want me in yr life i wont return but i can wish you the best in life. #i hope you go on to do great things. #i hope you surround yourself with people who love you #people who care for you #i guess in ways i could not. #even if i tried my best #i guess sometimes it wasnt enough #but thats ok! #i will take this as a learning experience #and i will get better. #i will be better. #so that if you ever check up on me #you realize i've changed #ive grown