#pain and trauma are a bitch

[anoriginalderivative]

i love you intuitive eating, i love you being in touch with your body/feelings, i love you loving and accepting your health based on how you feel instead of how you look, i love you interpreting cravings as a potential nutritional need, i love you listening to your body the way you deserved to be listened to as a child

#look! #i did a joke format! #anyway #i’m feeling so many things #ive been more in touch with my body than ever in my life #and it’s been the most intense spiritual and psychological experience of my life #i wish everyone could have a welcome home party back into their bodies #pain and trauma are a bitch

[wolfythewitch]

Do you ever have that feeling where, despite your distance with your religion, there's still moments where sparks of what you were bought up with, return?

I'm from a religious family, but I'm not in touch with my own religion. Yet there's me calling in the name of the Lord before and after I eat. It's like this lingering piece that I never turn to look at but somehow slips into my ordinary life.

I don't really know you that much, or your religious status. But seeing your religious talks made me want to bring this up.

I don't even know if I make sense here- just- ignore this if you want to, I don't know.

Hmmm I think so. My whole thing with it is really complicated haha. I still go to church every Sunday, though I prefer doing volunteer work with the kids over listening to the sermon. I pray before I eat out of habit. I find myself quoting the bible more often than I open to read it (though this is changing because of all the times I look for references lol). There's a resentment that I get whenever it's brought up, especially around my family. I find myself immediately on guard the minute it becomes subject of conversation. Sometimes at night I'll pace around and just talk. I don't know if I'm talking to myself or to god or whoever but. I'll talk. I think I still believe in him. I definitely believe that there's something out there. I don't think the question is of belief as much as it is of care. Do I care enough to try?

I'll say this though. Whatever I'm doing right now has gotten me to think more about bible and religion than I have in the past few years. So. That's fun! Who knew trying to explore something your own way instead of the way forced onto you by your environment gives your room to feel everything out without any preexisting pressure?

#wolfy tedtalks #anon #wolfy religious tedtalks #i have a theory #and that theory is any time some vaguely catholic holiday rolls around jesus bitch slaps me into being more religious than i currently am #first it was during easter #and now all saint's day is rolling around soon #or maybe its my period #side effects may include #nausea. fatigue. back pain. resurgence of religious belief coupled with complicated thoughts of compartmentalized trauma. cramps. mood swing

[introspectivememories]

absolutely obsessed with the idea of timbern being super secretive over bear's time in the cult.

on one hand, bear is wildly insecure of his scars from the cult. cause it's not like he fucking got them saving the city or helping someone, he was just stupid enough to get sucked into a cult. (a voice in the back of his head that sounds a lot like his therapist and tim tell him that kids are supposed to be stupid and that his time in the cult is more a reflection of the adults in his life than his own choices) anyway his back and legs are like a mess of scarring and normally he'd just tattoo over them but scars have to be a certain age before they're tattooable. so he now just covers them up.

on the other hand, tim is insanely protective over bear's traumas. like if he got any more protective he'd be like certified deranged. so he just straight up dodges or lies about bear's backstory. anyway all this to say, they're hanging out in the pool at the manor and nobody but them ws supposed to be home. so bear thinks it's safe to take off his shirt. they're both having fun until someone says behind bear, "dude... what happened to your back?" cue tim lunging at them like a rabid dog and bear struggling to hold tim back going "tim, tim, what the fuck, what the fuck????"

#batfamily member: get your dog bitch #bear barely holding tim back smiling: he don't bite #them looking at tim growling and snarling and trying to bite them: YES HE FUCKIN DO!!!! #i think the idea of tim being more affected by bear's trauma than bear is insanely funny #bear talking about his trauma: yeah i was in a school shooting and then i got sucked into a pain cult but hey! you live and learn right? #tim punching the ground crying screaming: hasn't he been through /enough/?! #one of the cult leaders gets out on parole and red robin shows up at their house to beat them up #tim's bear's attack dog. his pokemon if you will #bad social scenario? bear shouts 'i summon you tim drake!' and tim the sappy bastard that he is strikes a pose like theyre team rocket #that's a compleste lie btw. tim is the pokemon girlie. bear is the yugioh girlie. they get into arguments about this daily. #it does not help that dami and duke are on bear's side while jason and dick are on tim's #it becomes an all out war and bruce refuses to pick a side #dc #bernard dowd #tim drake #timber #timbern

[thecruellestmonth]

Jason's feelings about Sheila Haywood

Batman #427 (1988)

"God, it must have been hard for you."

"...I'll save you... Mom..."

Batman: Gotham Knights #44 (2003)

"...I love..."

Batman #428 (1988)

"He threw... himself... in front... of me... in front of me... He took... the main brunt... of the blast... Such a... good boy... Must have... really... loved his... mother..."

Deadman: Dead Again #2 (2001)

JASON: "It's weird--she betrayed me to the Joker. Got us both blown up--but I'm not mad at her. It wasn't really her fault--her whole life was screwed up. Things just... happened. [...] You gotta tell me--is she going to make it?"

DEADMAN: "She's fading pretty fast, kid--"

JASON: "No, I mean-- her soul. What's going to happen to her... afterward?"

DEADMAN: "That's not for me to decide."

SHEILA: "Jason tried to rescue me... We almost... made it... So close... He turned out to be such a good kid..."

JASON: "Thanks, Mom..."

Batman Annual 25 (2006)

He remembered most of what happened. The search for his mother. Her betrayal. Joker. And his own murder.

Task Force Z #8 (2022)

"I died trying to save someone I cared about."

#Sheila Haywood #Jason Todd #Batman comics #Red Hood #Task Force Z #Jason Todd meta #Boston Brand #Deadman #Batman panels #Judd Winick #Matthew Rosenberg #panels #Batman Gotham Knights #Steve Vance #RECAP: Jason fully acknowledges that Sheila betrayed him and yet doesn't direct his rage toward her. #I guess it's fine if you want to make Jason call Sheila a 'bitch' and spit on her memory in your own fan fiction. You do you. #But Jason Todd is a bad victim. His trauma is wrong. His coping is wrong. He loves people he shouldn't. #He responds to what has caused him pain--and not what others believe *should* have caused him pain. #He doesn't follow a textbook or what others judge *should* be the correct and proper and convenient response to trauma and injustice. #Jason is used to taking care of his parents. He is used to his parents failing him. Catherine and Willis and Sheila. #But not Bruce. Bruce promised him better. And Jason is so deeply humiliated for letting himself believe that promise with all his heart. #And perhaps... though she didn't want to... Sheila stayed with Jason at the end. And that was a promise that Bruce didn't keep. #long post #longpost #long #thecruellestmonth #Also I see Batman 428 as evidence that Sheila isn't Jason's birth mother because she refers to Jason's mother in the third person. #My theory is she was the back alley doctor who delivered him. Willis was her associate or friend or former lover. #Boston 'Number One Jason Todd Stan' Brand #Deadman Dead Again

[pookachuka]

trauma so bad i had to make the meme 6 times. just a regular monday for jenny flint huh

#doctor who #jenny flint #the paternoster gang #madame vastra #vastrajenny #jenny x vastra #vastra x jenny #madame vastra and jenny #doctor who fanart #strax #vella #anura #guys instead of adding to the trauma shirt i'm doing this #this took a painful amount of time btw #jenny flint and her fifty billion death experiences #not even near death just. DEATH #I LIVED BITCH!!! #the literal embodiment of i lived bitch

[am-cogitoergosum]

Sort of a rant about tpw fics, no hate intended to anyone. I love all the poppy war fics, this is just to talk about what I would like to see more of

Okay I said it before and I WILL say it again. I'm all for creating what you want, so pls don't take this as judgement, but I want to see more fanwork of tpw characters going crazy/overcome with anger. ESPECIALLY RIN AND KITAY.

Ppl tend to forget just how angry Kitay is in the series, and how he's not just "smart mouth big brain soft boy". Like, he nearly went insane in the series, ffs he killed Niang and burned Rin with a candle. He only has remorse for civilians, none for people he already has beef with.

AND AS FOR RIN, I'm a little disappointed with how many times her rage is played off as "eheh, cute lil tsundere bad at feelings". It's nice, especially in a modern au/no war au, I'm not saying I dislike that sort of thing, it can be very cute if done correctly. But there just isn't much about how genuinely angry she is, how she literally lost her mind. I want to see more of her just being full of actual rage and visceral hurt, and not in the "gentle sobbing" way, in the "screaming at the sun brutal murder tearing the room to shreds" way. I just feel like ppl write her as too calm and gentle sometimes.

IN CONCLUSION, these two are literally tortured to the point of insanity and there's not a lot written about that. THEY DESERVE TO BE MAD, because anger was the only thing keeping them going and it got them into terrible situations too.

#ik that this is lame of me #and that i should probably just write the stuff myself and stfu #but i have a huge writing block and so all i can do is bitch and moan rn #and also y'all don't HAVE to write stuff like that if ur bad at it/don't want to #but still i just like raw and visceral mental and physical pain and rage and i thought i'd see more of that in the tpw fandom #love all the fics that take a deep dive into altan and nezha's trauma #just wish i'd see more of that with like #jiang and venka and rin and kitay and all the others #once again #no hate intended #tpw #the poppy war #fang runin #chen kitay

[hobbinch]

You Put That Abuse-Related Term Back In Its Proper Context or So Help Me

#typically i like to be a bit gentler when i explain the fact that Trauma Bonding isnt a mutual relationship that develops when 2 people #are going through the same trauma #but ive seen it misused so many times in a row today that i underwent a painful looking jeckyl/hyde style transformation into a bitch #like nothing personal against ppl who misuse it since theres SO much incorrect useage #but its gotten bad enough that people who have actually been trauma bonded to an abuser dont realize they have that language #to describe their experiences #its almost as bad as the dilution of the word trigger and i personally see it misued more often than Trigger #i dont think that m #which is a huge sample bias thkng since most ppl i talk to have ptsd but like #but like still means SOMETHING as an observation #i think a lot of ppl who use it incorrectly would love to know the correct definition #but theres just enough ppl in the world who hate being corrected by acquaintances that i still often keep it to myself

[saintsarefake]

tiktok and tumblr stop stalking the ex victim of a stalker to send him photos of his stalker and re-traumatize him challenge

#also stop saying he's the one in the wrong and stalking his ex-girlfriend to harass her/traumatize her challenge #also also stop glorifying the show challenge #(99.9% of people fail this challenge :00) #bruh it was the most liked comment on a tik tok video saying that he purposely made her uglier than she was (she was an ugly fuck to start) #i don't fat shame normally but i will 100% fat shame that bitch to the point of body dysmorphia and hope she suffers horribly in the future #never the actress tho she was great #if i see ANYONE coming for the actress i'm throwing hands #also darrien i hope he steps on a lego and overdoses on his drugs #actually i wish both experience what it was like for donny all the fear all the pain all the trauma everything i hope they know the sufferi #anyway i just finished baby reindeer and holy SHIT i have never related to a character more since i first saw angel dust #fuck martha and darrien #there's a special place in hell for them #and when i die and go down to hell i'm going to make them wish they were with them six limbed devils #psa; THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE THEY'RE NOT CHARACTERS #end of my rant now this pissed me off with how people are so hyper focused on martha and everything about her that it makes it seem like sh #+e is the only good person here and the only victim because OF SOME SOPPY FUCKING DUMB STORY AT THE END WHERE HER PARENTS FOUGHT FUCK HER N #+O ONE LOVES YOU AND I HOPE NO ONE EVER LOVES YOU TIK TOK SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM DONNY IS AND YOU ARE ALL TOO DUMB TO REALISE PAST YOUR HYPE #+R FEMENIST ALL MEN ARE EVIL BULLSHIT #*sigh* #i'm fine i swear #i'll delete this later maybe #if i remember it

[ourbastardofsorrows]

sorry, but if you have ever shown me kindness while i was injured and/or genuinely praised me, then i have imprinted on you like a baby duck

#tia text #[roxie hart voice] and that's because none of us got enough love in our childhoods #and by imprinted on you basically i would like. die for you #tbh 75% percent of my crush on my japanese teacher was bc she genuinely praised me and i did not get a lot of that growing up #my fondness for characters who commonly get headcannoned as having a praise kink is entirely incidental to any childhood trauma #anyway i'm my ideal self when i'm getting tattooed #i'm all pliant and pleasant and i'm not a fighty bitch #i'm all blissed out from endorphins & then i'm further blissed out when i get praised for having a huge pain tolerance

[reamed]

i feel like my boss shouldn’t be texting me a paragraph telling me I need to go to the doctor for pain I understand and have dealt with all my life but okay

#txt #she said this is happening every month #yeah bitch I’ve tried to explain to you it’s related to my period and I know what’s going on a just need to get diagnosed #and everytime I set an appointment it’s fucking months away #and any other time I’ve gone to an primary doctor they’ve brushed it off as stomach pain /UTIS/ typical period pain #liek it’s not stomach pain. I literally have pelvic issues that have only gotten worse for many reasons but one of the biggest being trauma

[b0nelessdoodles]

ignoring the pain of this game coming to a close by finishing up the clockwork drawings i did back in early february that i was gonna post for valentine's day lmao

#dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd character #dnd goblin #dnd sorcerer #klingklang i am so sorry your boyfriend is dumb as bricks #tictoc i would apologize for your boyfriend being a jealous bitch but you think its funny so #these two keep me sane when im otherwise dying of emotional pain from the finale #AT LEAST TIC STILL HAS KLINGKLANG HE WILL BE OKAY #all the trauma in the world he can handle so long as he has his blue boyf to go home to #a man of simply pleasures truly he is #god i love these idiots they the worst but they're perfect together

[chaosoftheages]

Got my smut-writer of a best friend to read the smut/non-con I wrote for my Made To Ruin vent oneshot thing and he was like "Wow...that's actually pretty good for your first try!" And I just kinda stared at him like "...Wow. I wrote good smut. ON MY FIRST TRY HELL YEAH!!!"

As much as it reminds me of my trauma and the reason why I wrote Made To Ruin in the first place, I am very proud of my first attempt at smut.

Will I do it again? Ehhh....maybe one day.

#ao3 #fanfiction writer #ao3 writer #alan becker #animation vs minecraft #my writing #autumn writes #he said I captured the emotions and senses perfectly #which i find accurate #i was trying to give Purple a sensory overload bc what he's feeling in that moment is so new to him and he's like “the fuck is happening” #and it actually hurts like a bitch even in the aftermath #even tho my own trauma didn't escalate to that i still feel purple's pain #like I still often think about what if it did go farther and that really helped me write out purple's feelings and emotions #fuck im rambling again god damn it #fuck my adhd im rambling aaaaaa

[quote4me]

#trapped #nothing to live for #lifequoteoftheday #ativan #tavor #xanax overdose #prozac #bupropion #promethazine #trazodone #psychischer schmerz #story of my life #hopelessness #life is pain #am ende #destabilization #flashbacks #can't do this anymore #trauma is a bitch #let me die #lost af #if i knew #pain is real #painful past #lost souls #innerlich tot #alone in the world #it never gets better #müde vom leben

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back #sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with #idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that #community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize #bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought #he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive #i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better #so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH #my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body #believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how #as a woman #can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing? #you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids #when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me #when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison #in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again. #i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty #i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back. #i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing #but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth. #do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with #reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers #tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out. #what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like #i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming #you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in #i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement #singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now #there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart

[lovesomehate]

You know somethings I learned this year about myself?

I can run, jump and stand on a sprained ankle for 7+ hours if I need to.

#I can ignore the pain for hours #because my trauma response to pain is rage it doesn’t stop me from doing shit 😂 #I’m just mad while doing so #but yeah now I can call characters on tv whimps for acting like they are dying from spraining their ankles #BOOHOO GET UP BITCH #hah 😂

[martyrbat]

red hood: the lost days #6

[ID: Jason Todd pinning the Joker down in a puddle of gasoline by sitting on his chest. Jason is without his helmet with it laying in the gasoline near them. He has red eyeshadow around his eyes in the shape of his Robin mask and is snarling through gritted teeth down at the Joker, who's smiling up at him. Jason's muscular arms are exposed by wearing a black tanktop and blue jeans while the Joker is in his pinkish purple suit. Jason is holding a lit torch and behind them is a barricade of flammable barrels and the bright, full moon. In front of the moon is Batman with his cape flared out to resemble wings, his only visible feature being his glowing eyes. END ID]

#i know his dramatics and revenge fantasy gets the best of him but for the joker it just. didn't make sense #'i want it to be long and painful like how he beat & killed me' can be something yea but?? to actually stop ? #have him fantasize and build up this idea of what itll be like to kill joker and then the toppling down as hes still just so traumatized #and hurt. have him realizing how it didnt magically fix everything while also being confident in his choice because that risk of another #kid being merciless beaten or killed is gone. that he killed a horrible person and the world is better because of it #just... he isnt the world. #he stopped potential harm for others he feels good in killing joker he believes it was the best thing to do and he did it #but? what do you do when that harm isnt potential? when it isnt a threat but instead a memory that you have to relive through with every #single breath that you aren't supposed to have in the first place? #you did what you surely must been brought back to life to do. but now youre alive and you're alone and you dont know what else to do. #then have his anger or betrayal feelings at bruce. have jason developing and discovering himself #not as robin. not as a vengeful ghost. not as anything. but as jason todd and how hes carving his own destiny and the universe doesnt know #how to handle that. let him go through grief and trauma and anger. let him be cunning and a bitch. let him have the biggest heart. #let him work his way through crime rings and solo work and be a drug lord and how he helps gotham directly and just have some growth that #isnt centered around the man that killed him and the man that failed him. #jason todd #the joker #red hood #c: red hood: the lost days | i: 6 #crypt's panels #lost days #covers