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apcllpsie · 9 days

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— ON ACCIDENT

DEAN WINCHESTER x FEM!READ

★. 18+ CONTENT - read at your own discretion , youve been warned.

PAIRING?: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

OUTLINE: After a long day of hunting .. you, sam, and dean all head back to the motel. you & dean have some sort of tension after a incident during the hunt, and sam tries to make sure dean does something about it.

WARNING(S): smut , p : v , dirty talk , semi public sex , praise kink , strong language , use of pet names

It had been an extremely long day of hunting, you were beyond sore. And Sam was right, windigo's are a total bitch to chase. You began to slowly creep up on the windigo, when Dean followed closely right behind you. Unfortunately, Dean wasnt looking at the ground, he was looking at the girl infront of him.

"Son of a Bitch! Hes getting away!" y/n said, beginning to run after the windigo, dean followed right behind you, running after it. this windigo was fast, and could fit through tight spaces. You and dean had made it to a very tight spot, between two walls, deep down in this cavern where the windigo was keeping its victims. As you began to get in between the walls, so did Dean. And here you both were, stuck inbetween the walls. Your back on his chest. "Youve got to be kidding me. We lost him." You huffed in frustration and exhaustion. You were trying to move as best as you could, not helping Deans case.

"Y/n, stop moving." He said, embarrassed, following by a groan. "What..? Why?-" You had said, as you felt something on your back. Your face flushed red, "Im so sorry-" Dean began to repeat, over and over again. "I dont know why or how that happened-" He tried to explain, but you were in not only shock, but in embarrassment. The thing is, is that youve kinda always had a thing for Dean. I mean, he was your type. Total pretty boy, good smile, tall, flirty, knows how to talk, strong.. The list goes on. But, deep down you never thought that you would even have a chance with Dean. There was no way he had any sort of interest in you.. right?

"Dean, its okay. I wont mention it." You said, cutting off Dean. A million things were running through your mind, but you could only focus on one. "Lets get the hell out of here. I dont wanna be here anymore, we can chase after it tomorrow." Dean nodded in agreement, as they both got out of the situation together. That was definitely not something that you had on your bucket list. To get into a moment like that with Dean? As you caught up back with Sam, he noticed that both you and Dean were failing to have eye contact with eachother, let alone the fact that your guys' face was flushed red.

You guys got into the car, sitting beside Sam. You really couldnt sit next to Dean after what happened. It would really be nothing but awkward. And Sam could sense the tension. He needed to know what happened between you two. As you guys got the motel, you went to the back of the car, grabbed your bag and went straight inside. Enough time to unpack and be asleep before Dean talks to you about the situation.

"What the hell happened between you two?" Sam said, pausing in his tracks, turning around to face Dean. "Nothing, why?" He replies immediately. Nonchalant about the whole idea. "Dean, dont give me the BS, what happened between you two?" He repeats again, this time more firmly. A few seconds of silence took replacement of the voices of them when Dean replied. "When me and Y/n were chasing after the Windigo, we got.. stuck?" He says, keeping it to a bare minimum. Dean was already embarrassed about it, he just wasnt gonna show it. "Stuck.. huh.." Sam replied, "Stuck.. what do you mean?" He tilted his head, having a confused face. "She was infront of me, and we got stuck between two walls .. and i .. i uh-" He became silent again. "You.. what?" Sam already knew, he just wanted to hear Dean say it. "I got.. hard." Right after that, sam began to laugh.. hysterically.

Sam and Dean had finally came in. You were unpacked, and about to find something to eat. "I think im just gonna go to the gas station and grab something. Its just a block from here. You guys' want anything?" Y/n says, looking around at the boys who then look at eachother. "I dont want anything, but im pretty sure Dean might." He smirks to himself, with the comment. "Dude, shut up." Dean retaliated, standing up and grabbing his leather coat. "Ill go with you, dress warm, its cold out."

You put on your coat, and head out the door. Sam flashes a smirk at you and a wink at Dean. "You two dont get introuble now!" He laughed, as you began to walk down the road. Dean scoffed, walking beside you. "Im sorry, for today." He said, blurting out of nowhere. "I really didnt mean to, it really just happened in the moment, and i dont want things awkward between us.." You looked over at Dean and smiled. "Listen, its okay. I know it wasnt on purpose." Well, thats what Y/n thought. Dean laughed to himself after the comment. "What? Whats so funny?" You asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "Oh nothin, sweetheart."

That name came out of his mouth like butter, and god didnt it really heat you to your core. To hear him call you that, you just wanted to have him ALL over you. You guys got the stuff from the gas station and came back. It was a quiet trip, in the moment, your heart was racing and you most definitely wanted to take Dean somewhere you two could be alone. "Y/n?" He stops in his tracks, and turns around to look at you. "It was on purpose." He says. You were confused, but then it clicked. There it was again, that same feeling. "Why?" You ask, curious. "Because your attractive." He said, getting closer to you, he began to speak, his voice raspy, and deep. Perfectly just how you liked it. "You make me feel like that everday. You drive me insane." He says, letting it off his chest. "I need you, Y/n." Followed by a groan, he leads you to his car.

This was happening. What you thought about all the time. You got in the car, as he went around and slammed the door right behind him. He got in between your legs, kissing you roughly. He was starving, he needed you, badly. "God, you have no idea how long ive been waiting for this. All those nights, when it was you and me. I thought about bending you over then, and fucking you so rough." He said, kissing along your neck, leaving purple bruises. "Your mine now, sweetheart" Dean said, and he meant every word.

"Now, I need you to be a good girl for me. Can you do that?" He asked, looking at you in the eyes. "I can." You said, looking up at dean. "You cant cum til I tell you to. Okay sweet thing?" Hearing those names fall off his tongue was heaven. And it made you wet. "Yes sir." You said, following his order. “That’s my girl.” He praised you in that deep rough tone you adored. He ran his fingers along your core, in a circular motion. "Im gonna stretch you out so perfectly." Dean said, as he inserted two fingers in, and curled his fingers, giving the feeling that you needed. "Thats it, keep on making noise, i want everyone to know your mine."

He took out his fingers, holding your legs open for what was gonna happen next. His pulled off his jeans, followed by his boxers. Y/n always thought about how big he was, but to now see it in person, made her mouth water. "Im gonna stretch you out realll good" Slowly beginning to insert his dick inside. A moan escaping your lips as you tried to fit him. "Oh baby, this is all you needed. You needed someone like me to come in, and stretch you out." He began to pickup the pace, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper each time. He couldnt help it, the times when the pants hugged your ass perfectly, or the times where your lips were just so kissable. He needed it to be his. He began to go rougher, the slapping and the groaning was making your head fuzzy. "Fucking you good, you cant think straight, hm?" He began to raise his voice. "This pussy was made for me, for me to stretch you out, and show you how good I can make you feel." You moaned at the feeling of his dick perfectly hitting your g-spot. He felt so good, and you needed this so bad.

"whos my good girl?" he repeated. all you could manage was moans. "fucked you so good, cant think straight, huh baby?" he said. making sure that you still were feeling good. "dean, im gonna- fuck, im gonna cum!" you stated, tears in your eyes as you began to get overstimulated. "me too baby." he replied, pacing himself as he came. followed by you right after. he pulled out, watching the cum ooze out of you. "no baby, you need to keep this in." he took his finger, pushing back inside you. now, you were beyond tired. you put your pants back on, your legs shaking. "dean, im gonna need help!" you said, he smirked, and picked you up. "cmon baby." he laughed, as you guys went into the bathroom. he cleaned you up, getting you into your comfortable clothes. laying you down, as you fell asleep in his arms. he ran his hands through your hair, holding you close. Sam pipes up and says "So, how did it go?" He says, smirking. Dean follows by a "Shut up." as he smiles and goes to sleep with you.

AUTHORS NOTE: hi! this was my first smut book, and i did a light reading over to make sure it wasn't TERRIBLY bad with spelling! feedback is always recommended <3!

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x you #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x y/n #apcllpsie #dean winchester one shot #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #dean smut #supernatural #supernatural smut #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you

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1whore1gang · 7 months

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I wanted to try something

NSFW WARNING MDNI!!!!

Soooo I’ve went down the rabbit hole of werewolf!TF141 and honestly I’ve had some ideas pop up, so uh yeah this is what my brain does when it gets on tumblr

Warnings: sex…full blown smut, fingering, p in v, all the warnings y’all,….. i think i used ‘pup’ in here somewhere

MDNI!! NSFW!!

Omega!Reader x Werewolf!141

written as a f!reader

It was like any other day, training with the 141. As the newest addition to this pack, you were pushed hard to be the best. Being one of two Omegas was even tougher, considering the other was your superior.

“Push harder rookie.” Soap’s voice rang out as you pulled yourself off the floor, exhausted and drenched in sweat. “Dig deep, you aren’t goin’ anywhere until you pin me down.”

You want to groan, complain, but you don’t. Instead you brace for impact as the sparing continues. Soap had you beat in just about every category when it came to fighting, this man was HUGE. You couldn’t keep up.

“I’m tapping out!” The words come out quick as Soap backs off.

“Already?” He questions. Soap was one of two members you’ve already met. You haven’t been here very long.

“Yeah, I’m calling it quits.” You push yourself onto your feet, panting. “You can’t expect this out of me on Day 3 can you?”

Soap only laughs, not even a glisten of sweat on him. “You’ll get there pup. Soon enough you’ll be able to take the big dogs down.”

Big dogs?? You think to yourself. There’s guys bigger than Soap here?

Meeting the rest of the team embarrassed you more than you care to admit. This team was graced with two alphas. When you got near the room they were in, every hair stood up on your body, their scent so strong it lingered down the hallway.

Weeks and months go by without a hitch, except for one, but we don’t talk about that…

You were sent on your first mission and it was the night prior when your whole world fell apart. You had just gotten out of the shower when your knees collapsed and your body felt like it was on fire.

“No, no, no…” You had felt sick the last couple of days but chalked it up to something you ate. You felt your skin becoming warm and damp with sweat as it all hit you.

You were in heat

You panicked, the pain engulfing every inch of you, the need for relief taking over your cognitive thinking.

You crawled over to your phone and texted the only person you could trust, the team Beta, Gaz.

Within minutes he was at your door, jumping inside your room to help you dress and get into bed. He was calm, assuring you it was all going to be alright.

That’s when you let out a horrific scream. You covered your mouth immediately, Gaz backing away. “What was that?”

Your eyes were wide. “I don’t know…”

You both froze in time, praying it didn’t draw either of you any unwanted attention. But, unbeknownst to you both, the other 3 men could smell you miles away.

Gaz stayed with you, trying to cool you off and keep you fed and hydrated, it was hours before another man showed up at your door….Soap.

He looked at you with worry, in his pajama pants and shirt. He didn’t even have shoes on…. “What’s going on? Your scent is intoxicating.” He slowly entered your room, approaching you with caution.

Gaz spoke for you, and when he did, Soap asked him to give you and him some space. Soap crawled in behind you, leaning your head against his chest. “Relax for me okay?” Soap was an Omega, just like you, but somehow his presence felt calming. It didn’t dull the ache you felt, but he brought a sense of peace to your mind.

Suddenly, you feel his hands roam down your body to your lounge pants and remove them down to your ankles, lifting your knees to spread your legs. “Do you trust me?”

You could only nod as the cold air of your room hit your bottom half. Soap’s hand took home inbetween your legs, his fingers entering you and filling the emptiness you’ve felt.

A moan left your lips as he moved, your head falling back to rest on his shoulder. Gaz watched on, waiting to be told how he could help.

As good as Soap’s fingers felt, you still felt the searing pain. It wasn’t doing anything to quell your problems. It caused you to question Soap’s methods.

But little did you know, Soap knew exactly what he was doing because it didn’t take long of his fingers in you until the two alphas appeared at your door. The sight before them causing them to become feral, primal even. “Look at that, they smelled us.” Soap smirked.

Looking at Price and Ghost, you couldn’t help but feel a bit exposed, but their presence brought a newfound relief to you.

Price moved first, coming to hover above you against Soap’s chest, his hand brushing your hair down as he spoke softly: “We’re gonna take care of ya.”

Price slowly moved Soap’s hand away, putting his own palm flat against you. His middle finger swiped up, taking in the feeling of you. His eyes closed as he buried himself in the crook of your neck, breathing you in.

Before you knew it, Ghost was now in place of Soap, his hips rutting against your ass, his hands on your chest. You had found yourself sandwiched between the two alphas. You were drinking in every moment.

Price slowly warned you as he moved, slowly letting you adjust to his size, purring in your ear: “That’s it, that’s a good girl.”

Ghost took care of every other area of your body, slowly caressing you in every way. His fingers grazed over your nipples and eventually would travel down to your clit to help you along.

Between both of them, it didn’t take long for you to come undone. Price continued through to his own release, burying himself deep inside you. The feeling was unlike anything.

The sounds you let out as the fiery pain left your body we’re heaven to the men’s ears. Price quickly moved to help clean you up as Ghost covered you with the hoodie he had been wearing. Ghost had marked your sheets with his scent, leaving you surrounded with it.

As soon as you were clean, the alphas left without another word, Gaz quickly coming to your aid with food and water while Soap sat with you, massaging your sides. They kept you company until you had fallen asleep, and they returned to their own rooms.

#captain price x reader #soap mactavish smut #tf141 x reader #soap mactavish x reader #call of duty mw2 #werewolf!soap #werewolf au #simon riley x reader #alpha man #modern warefare 2 x reader #tf 141 x reader

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satcrvz · 17 days

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CHAPTER TWENTY; soft launch

navi

the two of you drove down streets, city lights leaking into the car, illuminating your faces. you didn't plan on this being the way he hears the playlist you'd made for him. but rather this than over text, right?

"so," he finally speaks up, "did you want to go somewhere or just drive around?"

you glance at him, "it was your idea! but we could go to wendys?" he could hear the smile in your tone, despite not looking at your face.

for just a moment, a comfortable silence filled the car. that was until the familiar tune of ‘show me how’ started playing. you let it play not thinking much of it, but somehow every lyric seemed to be so much louder.

in a hushed tone you mutter out, "oh my gosh," while resting your head on the window.

yuta contains a smile knowing exactly what's happening and mentally punches himself for not realizing earlier. half the song went by before he mustered up the courage to finally say something.

"hey." you hum and lift your head to acknowledge him. "y'know i like you too right?"

your eyes quickly widen after you process his words. "wait, who told you? was it maki? i'm going to jump out"

he glances over at you and smiles, "you're just gonna ignore my confession huh? i almost shit my pants saying that!" you look down to play with your fingers out of nervousness. "and you're gonna ignore my question? it was maki wasn't it?"

he confirms your suspicion and knows he'll regret it later. he pulls into a parking space and looks over at you.

"can i be your boyfriend?"

it's hard not to smile but you immediately accept his offer. he shuts off the vehicle, and like he has many times before, runs to open your door for you.

the two of you walk toward the fast food building. "so is this technically our first date?" you ask while playfully sidestepping and nudging his shoulder.

he whines at you to not count this as your first date, "our first date will be something better. trust me."

the rest of the night consisted with the two of you eating and exchanging stories about how you acted when you liked each other. you giggled at one confession in particular, him thinking you and megumi had a thing going on.

"yuta? dude, you knew megumi before me, i think you’d know if he had a girl!" you say inbetween laughs.

"you could’ve been a secret girlfriend… and don’t dude me! we’re dating now"

that makes you laugh even harder, so hard that you missed his sly antics. he’d taken a straw and balled up the paper at the end and blew it at you.

any other time you probably would’ve thrown food at him, but you were in public so the tamest thing you could do was flick him off.

:3 confession guys

kendrick and drake beef a lil funny. i see why j cole apologized, i wouldn’t want to mess with kendrick either 😭

one more chapter and perhaps a bonus :p

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT WITH THE STRAW THING? MY BROTHER USED TO DO IT TO ME

@saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen n @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul l l @morgyyyyyyy @smashingdollz z z @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon @h3xi2g0n3 @lysaray @sereniteav @httpakkeiji i @histxricaldrama @aiieera @rieieieieieiei @tobaccosunbxrst t @hvnyacoded @ohhyuuta @inupibaldspot t @diogodxlot @amenial @kzoyu @ancientimes @mochuchi @cerisescherries @sugurubabe @saltypuffin1040 @lunarbleedings @kamikokii @egoistars @r0ckst4rjk @arysbruv @bbladie @hobistigma @k1ttylvr @deeeeexx @arivsx @kyrofu9 @kereseth @clxvrs @dremerys @alluresenses @sak1l @just-a-girlblogger @m6tra @nyxlai @ecliiipsee @luvlybeom @nnnyxie

#jjk x reader #jjk smau #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smau #yuta smau #yuta x reader #jjk fluff #yuuta smau

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see-the-fandom-imagines · 15 days

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What's in it for me?

Chapter 11

Chapter 1 Masterlist Pairing: Kyouya Ootori x Reader Author: see-the-fandom-imagines Warnings: None, really Author’s Note: Sorry this took again forever, I will upload the next 4 chapters in the next days :) Thanks for reading <3 Tag List: @radical-bunny, @redsakura101, @ellouisa17, @hyunjinsslutbbg, @fairyv-ice

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46325452/chapters/116633701

During lunch you had more or less willingly positioned yourself inbetween Mori and Kyouya and were highly glad that you could focus on Mori and the twins across from you. You were a little more relaxed now as the whole atmosphere seemed to have calmed down a bit and while half-heartedly listening to a story Kaoru told about Hikaru's first stuffed animal you let your mind wander and you thought fondly about Kyouya’s reaction to half the products in the supermarket. He had almost reminded you of Tamaki, mesmerised by all the offers and sales, although you were sure he would have been almost insulted if you had told him that.

A small smile creeped on your face, but faltered again, when suddenly you felt Kyouya’s leg bump into yours, ripping you out of your thoughts and not moving once the contact had been established. Irritated you looked up at him, but he was nodding at Hikaru, presumably listening to something the older twin was saying. You moved your gaze back to your food and decided to not move your leg either. Yours had been there first and to be honest, you didn’t mind the touch. Quite the contrary.

After lunch everybody finally said goodbye and went their separate ways, including you. You just wanted to turn around and get home, your bed was calling for you after a day like that, when suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. Surprised you turned around to see Kyouya standing behind you, nodding towards his car. “Let me drive you home.”

“Oh, it’s fine, really”, you reassured him. You felt like he had done enough for you over the past couple of weeks, and you really didn’t want to owe him more than you already did. “It’s not very far, I can take the train.”

“It is late, your part of town can become quite dangerous, and as a member of our club we have a certain responsibility towards you. Furthermore I might use the chance to introduce myself to your aunt now, too, if she is at home.”

You squinted, trying to figure out his real motives. Of course, he had to have some form of gain from his, but was meeting your aunt really reason enough for him to take a detour? But you were also kind of exhausted and knew arguing with him didn’t make sense anyways. Furthermore you weren’t necessarily too opposed to the idea of spending more time with him, wether you wanted to admit it or not.

He got into the car before you, not holding open the door for you, you noticed, but you didn’t actually mind. You didn’t care too much about stuff like that and something made you feel like it was some form of weird compliment. He did not hold up an appearance for you, and somehow you liked seeing that.

You climbed in behind him and adjusted your seatbelt, painfully aware of him watching your every move and trying to ignore the butterflies his stare set loose in your belly. Suddenly he spoke out again.

“Are you not going to thank me?”

“For kidnapping me?”, you retorted, and the smile appeared back on his face. Suddenly you were very aware that you were in a highly confined space with Kyouya alone. And although there was probably a driver somewhere in the front of this car, there was a screen between you and them just like in the movies that separated you.

“Fair”, he said, leaning back in his chair, but you noticed the tiniest smirk playing on his features. The car began to move and you didn’t even question how the driver knew where to go. Maybe he actually was kidnapping you, you never knew with Kyouya. You were sure you were worth a little bit of money on the black market.

“Let me see if she is home first, though, or you have kidnapped me for nothing. And I am not paying for the gas!”

He chuckled and your heart jumped a little.

“No worries”, he said, “in that case you can repay me differently.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to to keep your mind away from the gutter, but smiled. You would not give him that win that easily. He was just saying this to tease you, some form of friendly banter you two had silently established between each other. With anyone else you might have called it flirting, but with Kyouya it felt like he was just provoking you, somehow testing how you would respond. Why you hadn't quite figured out yet, but you knew that he liked to be challenged. After all this time together you had understood more or less how his mind worked. Well, most of the time.

“Also”, he spoke up again, interrupting your thoughts, and you watched him shift a little in his seat as his hand glided into his pocket, suddenly revealing a small box wrapped in paper and decorated with a small blue ribbon. You looked up at him with big eyes. An invoice? A time bomb? Or maybe it was just...

“What’s that?”

“It was your birthday, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Well, in most places in the world, people gift each other something for their birthdays.”

You were almost speechless. “You got me a present?”

“It appears so.”

“But… why?”

You noticed that he hesitated. You had caught him off-guard with that question you noticed It almost seemed like he wasn’t entirely sure, either. Dodging the question, he moved his hand, as if to place it back into his pocket. “Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll return it.”

“No, no!”, you quickly said and bit your lip as you saw his challenging gaze. He had known you’d react like that. This round went to him. “I mean I was just surprised. I don’t get a lot of gifts normally.”

“I know you told me you find it frightening when I do something that could be considered... nice, but do not think I am doing this just to do you a favour.”

You hesitated for a second, but then you held open your hand and he dropped it in your palm. “Open it. I can't give it back, if you don’t like it.”

Carefully and with big eyes you began unwrapping the small package. It revealed… “A daruma?” Carefully you took it out of the small package and noticed that a little charm was hanging around its neck. It was a simple leather band with a seashell attached to it. You looked up surprised.

Kyouya shrugged, and you noticed that he actually seemed a little bit nervous, head turned away to look out of the window, feigning indifference. But the way his eyes trailed back to you revealed, that he was waiting for your reaction. “Well, it’s not blessed, nor is it New Years, but I saw it and I thought, maybe you’d like it, but I’d fully understand if …”

“Thank you. I love it.”

You noticed him relax a bit into his seat. He nodded, now turning back to you. “I saw it in Okinawa. And since you had said you liked the beach, I thought, maybe you actually enjoy things like that. I didn’t choose anything expensive as I did not want to make you uncomfortable." And then he added in true Kyouya-fashion. "I recently read that by purchasing a birthday gift, you will improve employee morale and help the recipient feel valued.”

You nodded slowly, but couldn't suppress a small chuckle. Even if it was just a present out of courtesy, you really loved it. And something told you that maybe, just maybe Kyouya had actually done something nice for you, just because he wanted. You knew he wasn't as cold as he always acted to be. “I do feel very valued", you finally replied, "In case the annual review comes up, I will be sure to mention it.” The daruma sat in your hand, the light breaking in its still empty eyes. “Thank you”, you said again, this time a bit softer. You carefully placed it back in the box, careful not to break it. “So I have a free wish and a memory.”

You stroke carefully over the little package with your thumb, smiling down at it. It was simple, but that didn’t matter. Kyouya had given you a present. For your birthday. And it meant an awful lot to you.

After a short silence he spoke up again. “So, what are you going to wish for?”

You thought for a second, but then shook your head. “Well, I can’t tell you yet, can I? Maybe I’ll let you know once it became true.”

He scoffed. “It’s a daruma, not a birthday cake.”

You shrugged. “I don’t mind. It’s a secret." You carefully placed it in your bag, and instead took out your phone. “I should tell Miwako that I am coming home, though.”

But as happy as you had just felt a second ago, as physically sick were you getting now, because when you lit up your phone screen you noticed that you had five missed calls. Your heart, which had been beating happily until now, seemed to miss a beat, as you could feel the familiar feeling of uneasiness rise up in your throat.

“What the hell”, you whispered, and noticed Kyouya shifting, but you didn’t look at him. Suddenly you had a really bad feeling.

You held the phone to your ear and listened to the familiar beeping, until your aunt picked up, her tone making your blood run ice cold. Something had happened.

Without a word you handed Kyouya the phone, your voice dry and emotionless. You noticed your hand was shaking. “She wants to talk to you.”

Miwako had not actually told you what had happened yet, she had wanted to know if you were still at Haruhi's and although she had hesitated for a split second, she had requested to speak with Kyouya once she found out that he was taking you home. You tried to focus on your breath, on his expression as he talked. Fear was creeping up on you and made it hard to breath. You heard your aunt say something indistinguishable for you and suddenly Kyouya looked at you, expression serious and it didn’t help. You had never seen him like this. You tried to focus on his features to calm you down, his sharp cheek bones, his perfect skin. The neatly combed hair, the full lips and the dark brown eyes that wouldn’t look away from you. You noticed a small beauty mark on his chin and you wondered if he had always had that, tried to think about everything else than what your aunt was going to tell you in a moment.

Kyouya didn’t say anything about you staring and instead he handed the phone back to you after what felt like forever. Your hand was still shaking as you picked it up from his grip, his fingers brushing against yours, and you wished they would have stayed, you wished he would hold your hand, keeping you safe and steady, but instead he was just watching you, prepared for whatever would come next.

-----

You dropped the phone, your breath was going rapidly now. “Stop the car”, you hissed and as Kyouya didn’t react you said it even louder. “Stop. The car!”

Kyouya gave the order to the driver and although your gaze was still focused on your own feet, you felt him pull in to the left and stop. The second the car stopped, you ripped open the door and ran outside. “(Y/n!)”, you heard Kyouya’s voice behind you. “You can’t just – ”, you heard him get out behind you, but you didn’t care you ran the past few metres to the closest bush you saw and you just threw up. Your stomach was cramping and you couldn’t keep in anything from the lunch you had just shared together at Haruhi's place. You didn’t want him to see you like that, but you also couldn’t make it stop.

He hesitated getting closer to you at first, but finally seemed to get over himself and knelt down next to you. He didn’t look at you, you noticed from the corner of your eye, his gaze was lifted up into the sky to give you at least a little privacy and you were thankful for it. He had positioned a hand on your back, kneeling next to you at the roadside, waiting for you to be done.

You coughed a few more times and looked up to see him hold out a textile handkerchief to you. You didn’t protest, but just grabbed it, cleaning your face, trying to understand what was happening. You were still breathing rapidly and you felt the first hot tear, running down your face. You tried to bring sense into what just had happened, but you couldn’t. Your mind was full and you didn’t know on what to focus first. You buried your head in your hands and let out a silent scream, your body heaving with sobs your mind filled with sheer panic.

You were on your knees in the middle of the city, right in front of the guy you liked and who after this would surely never be able to see you the same way, unable to move a muscle. Your body was heaving with sobs, but no noise escaped your mouth. It was all your fault. Your aunt was in danger. You had ruined it all, she should have never taken you in. You destroyed her life yet again. She could have gotten away if it wasn’t for you.

Suddenly you felt two hands on your shoulders, gently pushing your upper body up, so that you were forced to sit up. You still let your head hang low, your eyes pressed shut, it was all too much.

“(Y/n)”, you heard Kyouya’s clear voice through your haze of noise, feeling his hands gently press into your shoulders. “(Y/n), look at me.” You didn’t move. His grip tightened, but not enough to hurt, just to emphasize his words. He said it again, more demanding this time. “(Y/n), I need you to look at me.”

You tried to take a deep breath, opening your eyes and looking up into Kyouya’s face. Something about the expression on his face made all the noise and all the voices become quieter. You tried to block out everything else, the street, the people watching, and just focus on his face, his eyes, his voice, his scent. You just felt his hands on your shoulders, saw his face in front of you and heard his clear voice. “Your aunt is safe. I have dispatched two officers of our police force.” You wondered when he had done that, but it didn’t even matter. You nodded carefully. “One in front of your house. And one in front of the hospital. She is going to be safe.”

Your breath became calmer again, you were mesmerized by his voice and by his eyes. You couldn’t look away. The fear subsided slightly. You still couldn’t speak and you were still trembling.

“And I have promised your aunt to keep you safe, too, and I am very intent on keeping my promise.” You nodded. He let go of your shoulders without a warning and stood up, looking down at you expectantly. “Get up. You're stronger than this.” He wasn’t going to help you up. He expected to get up yourself. All he did was hold out a hand for you to grab, but the rest you had to do yourself. You wanted to collapse again, but you took a deep breath. He was right. You had done it before, you could do it again. Your aunt was safe, that was the most important thing and you couldn’t rely on other people for the rest of your life. “I do not know what exactly is going on, but I can promise you that nothing is going to happen to you.” His voice was firm and it was exactly what you needed right now. You believed him.

You took one last breath, before you took Kyouya’s hand, using it to stabilize yourself while standing up. You were still trembling, but you could somewhat think again. “Very good”, he said, and your heart leaped in your chest. You wanted to do well. You nodded carefully, your voice still hoarse and your throat hurting from puking and crying. “Thank you”, you said awkwardly not knowing what to do now, trying to bring sense into your head.

“Get in the car”, he ordered, although his voice was a little softer now. “I am going to bring you back to Haruhi’s place.”

You nodded and followed him into his car. You were staring at your knuckles, your fists were clenched so hard that they had begun to turn white.

“I am sorry”, you whispered, and Kyouya looked at you, as he scooched in after you. He didn’t say a word, but instead after a short pause, and what looked like him considering the situation, wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest, holding you tightly. He didn’t say it was alright, he didn’t tell you all would be fine. He was far too pragmatic for that. He was just sitting next to you holding you, calmly, and although your heart skipped a beat at the sudden contact, you actually managed to calm down and breathe again. Suddenly, you felt safer. He didn't have to say another word for you to understand that he was not going to let anything happen to you. His touch grounded you. The rest of the car ride was silent, you trying to calm your breath, breathing in his scent, and him, silently gazing out the window, his muscles tensing up every now and then, when you felt the car come to a stop. For a few seconds the whole world seemed to stand still, until you heard Kyouya's voice speak up in the silence.

“I'll keep my promise." And with these words he let go of you and the car door opened. Ranka-san was already waiting outside, ready to greet you. You nodded, not able to speak, but you hoped he still understood what you were trying to tell him. Right when your foot touched the pavement you felt his grab on your wrist one last time. You turned around to him. “I’ll call you.” He had said, expression stone-cold as you had gotten out of the car. Ranka immediately rushed towards you, taking you tightly into her arms and you welcomed the embrace. You looked at Kyouya’s car drive away silently, while Ranka carefully guided you inside. You felt even more miserable. Your parents really had to ruin everything. If you had been sure that there was no way he liked you back before, now you were absolutely certain that a Kyouya Ootori would never be with a pathetic girl whose own parents didn’t even want her. And if that wasn’t even the worst, again you were nothing but a burden to everybody. Haruhi and Ranka included.

-----

You let yourself drop on the floor in your room, your back against your wardrobe. It had been an exhausting day. After a night at Haruhi’s and what felt like forever, Miwako had finally decided that it was fine for you to come home. Carefully you had gotten out of the station and ran home, all the time worried that a familiar face would pop up or similar. But nothing happened. As it seemed, they didn’t know where you lived. At least not yet.

Your gaze fell on your backpack, and you pulled it closer to you. You opened it and fished out the small package with the blue bow.

Carefully you got out the Daruma. It was looking at you with blank eyes, and you stared back, feeling as empty as the little doll. Tentatively you took of the little charm and tied it to a little opening in your phone case. Then you got up and looked around the room for a marker. Once you had found one, you sat back down, popped off the cap and began to write your wish. Shortly after you carefully drew in the left eye of the Daruma, who was now halfway looking back at you. You placed it on your desk and just sat in front of it, looking at your new little friend, thinking about the man who had given him to you. The man who probably now saw you in a completely different way than he had before. If you maybe had had some hopes that he might like you before, you knew now he for sure would not. You hadn’t wanted him to see you in such a state. You hated being so weak and usually you weren’t. It was just that whenever your parents would be involved it would all come back.

Shivering you remembered the nights in the cold room, barely any belongings, no friends, waiting for the next punishment to come your way. You played with your little charm. These days at the sea with Miwako had been your only way to get out. Three days without fear. Before you had had to go back. You had begged her so often not to bring you back. But it had taken years for the abuse to become visible enough that she would betray her own sister and run off with you like that. You didn’t blame her. It had been a big step and you were happy she had been brave enough for the two of you to take it.

Suddenly the phone in your hand began to ring and before you had even looked at the display you knew who was calling. You bit your lip, thinking for a second, before you eventually picked up.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.” You knew it was him, you had ignored his call already twice this evening. You were too embarrassed and not ready for the talk you knew would follow. You had been so embarrassed about how weak you had gotten. About what this simple phone call had done to you. This wasn’t like you, you used to fight. When you didn’t reply, he spoke up again.

“Are you alright?” His voice sounded cold and emotionless and you knew he was mad at you for not picking up earlier.

“Yes… Thank you again. I don’t think I can ever repay you.”

“Not all my life revolves around favors, you know?” Ouch. You were silent for a while.

“Kyouya-senpai, I…” I am sorry. I am embarrassed. Please don’t think lower of me because of what happened today.

“I think you owe me an explanation.”

You nodded. “You’re right”, you whispered. “I am sorry. I will tell you, I promise just… not now. Please”, you begged, and you were surprised that your voice broke. You were so tired.

“I hope you are aware of the expenses I had to spare for you in the past week alone.”

“I know, I am sorry.”

“I do not want to hear you apologize.” Tears formed in your eyes at his harsh words. You wished he would just stop talking, you were already feeling bad enough. He cleared his throat and continued speaking, his voice a bit softer. Maybe he had realized he had been too harsh on you. “I mean, there’s no need to apologize.” Another short break. “I was worried.” Surprised you hick-upped. You hoped he hadn’t heard it, but if he had, he chose to ignore it. “I want to help you, (y/n), but I cannot do that, if you will not tell me what is going on! All your aunt told me that she needed me to get you to Haruhi safely and that she couldn’t go home herself either.”

“You’re right”, you agreed.

“I won’t force you”, he finally said to your surprise. “Stay safe. I’ll see you next week.”

After this call you felt emptier than you had before.

Little had you known that he had focused on whatever else as to control the anger that had risen in his chest. He didn’t know who had hurt her like that but one thing was sure, they were going to pay for it. He had theories of course, after all, Kyouya wasn’t stupid. He could count one and one together, but either way he needed to know what was going on with her. What happened to her in the past. He bit his lip, staring at his phone, thinking about what it was that he was feeling.

He had come to care about (y/n) he had to admit to himself. Deeply. Was this still just having a crush? Either way he knew that he wanted to protect her and that he wanted to get rid of whatever or whoever was torturing her this way. Having seen her breakdown in front of him like this, had almost shocked him. She was usually very put together, smart, witty and always had an answer. But from one second to the next she had absolutely broken down and a tight knot had formed in his chest seeing her like this. He had wanted to hug her, take her in his arms, but he wasn’t sure if what she needed maybe was space, so he had opted for that.

He knew she was strong enough to get through it herself, but he still had wanted to help her. He had rarely felt as helpless as in this moment. The last time she was in danger he had lost control. This time he wanted to keep it for her sake. But little did she know that the second he had let go of her, the second his car drove away, he had exhaled shakily, fists clenched, trying to suppress the anger that he had kept in his chest ever since he had talked to her aunt and the worry he had tried to deny up until that point.

#ootori kyoya #ohshc kyoya #ootori kyouya #kyouya ootori #kyouya #kyouya ootori x reader #kyoya ootori x reader #ohshc x reader #ohshc fanfic

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rayofmisfortune · 5 months

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HEYYY I'm Ray!

I'm an enby aroace thingy who writes fics on ao3 :3c

Current fandoms of interest are FNAF (specifically the DCA) and the Sun and Moon show, Bendy, Lies of P (sideblog: @lies-of-ray) and other fandoms like Sonic, Lego Monkie Kid, Ninjago, Genshin Impact, Honkai Starrail, Cuphead, ROTTMNT, TMNT 2012, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Hollow Knight and probably some more I don't remember off the top of my head heh I do reblog stuff from other fandoms as well, don't post anything for them myself though (that's a lie, I sometimes do) Thought it would be nice to make a lil pinned post to keep track of all my stuff, including but not limited to fics, aus and so on!

List of fanfics:

Game DCA fics

Found Your House up in Flame Multi-chapter fic Word count: 16,710

A shoulder to cry on One-shot Word count: 2,157

TSAMS fics

Rusted joints - TSAMS Ruin Eclipse one-shots

New year, new me (or is it really?) One-shot Word count: 3,318

You'll be back, soon you'll see One-shot Word count: 2,273

Christmas, only once a year One-shot Word count: 4,213

Endless Cycle One-shot Word count: 1,801

When I'm Gone One-shot Word count: 1,285

Bendy fics

The Escape Gone Right (on hiatus) Multi-chapter fic Word count: 4,998

List of AU's

Daycare Attendant AU's

Found your house up in flame au > Can be found under the #fyhuif or #found your house up in flame tags > A DCA au, taking up shortly after the Pizzaplex fire. Follows the DCA as they try to find their way through the ruined Pizzaplex! With a few challenges standing in their way, surely those won't pose a problem, will they? > Available content: fanfiction, as seen above, art posts

A Helping Hand au > No distinct tag as of writing this post > Ruin DLC au, basically a ''what if Eclipse tagged along for the ride'' kind of deal. > Available content: fanfiction as seen above, additional content TBD

Mer au > Can be found under the #mer au tag (no distinct au name as of the time writing this) > A collab AU between myself and @sir-qwillian-ferne > Available content: art posts

Flavordrops au > TBD

DI au > TBD > Collab au with @sir-qwillian-ferne

SD au > TBD

TSAMS AU's

Fireboy and Watergirl au > Can be found under the #fireboy and watergirl au tag as well as #wamoon and #solare for the characters of Moon and Solar respectively > A TSAMS au, taking off during the 'Eclipse's HORRIBLE PUZZLE in VRChat' video. Moon and Solar get turned into fireboy and watergirl > Available content: art posts > Ask box for this au is open!

Rusted Joints au > No distinct tag as of writing this post > An AU centered around my interpretation of Ruin Eclipse > Available content: fanfiction, as seen above

Deleted!Solar au > Can be found under the #deleted!solar tag > An AU in which Solar wasn't entirely erased, his code is not longer compatible with any dimension. He now resides in a space "Inbetween" (I'M COPING) > Available content: art posts

[This post will be edited!]

#pinned post

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fanficgirly18 · 7 months

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Jeff the Killer x Female Chubby Reader| Part 2

___________

P l e a s e s t a t e y o u r d e s t i n a t i o n.

"Quit being a pain in MY motherfucking ass, Ben."

You woke up and found yourself in a moving car.

Maybe you felt startled with how fast it was going, your hand grabbing at the handle on your side. It was cramped, with very little space, the dashboard pressing against your big belly and your thick thighs were being crushed beneath it.

You turned your head, and Jeff was beside you, his hands gripping a steering wheel so tight, veins were bulging out of his pale wrists. His jet black hair stuck out of a hood.

H e y , Y / N L/N.

Ben poked his head from the back seat of the car.

Y o u ' r e f i n a l l y u p.

"Oh, is she now?" A gust of smoke went in your face, causing tears to fill your eyes and you to cough. You hadn't noticed Jeff was holding a cigar.

"Hey, beautiful." He tapped ash from his cigar onto your lap. Little did you know he wanted it to burn through your clothes and reveal your thick thighs.

You flinched to his amusement.

Ben floated, putting his head inbetween you both.

I a m b e i n g a G P S o f s o m e s o r t.

J e f f , m a k e a U- T u r n .

"W-where are we going?" you cried.

T o f i n d-

"Troy," jeff finished the sentence, and his aura darkened, "An old enemy of mine. I killed his two buddies, Randy and Keith but he got fucking away. I want to finish the job." When he cussed there was so much emotion in his voice, it scared you.

"Why are you taking me? Y-you two seem to-"

Jeff turned his head once, to glance at you. And his smile grew wider. "With your curves..." he rasped, and breathed in- taking in your smell, and all, "You can seduce him." "WHAT-"

"Don't act so surprised. You're damn hot. And you're going to get down when you meet him, understand? And then I'll fucking KILL him."

You went into a state of shock.

He wanted you to help with murder.

Even when you pulled up at the shitty apartment complex, you were just frozen.

Jeff burnt you with his cigar to get your attention, making you scream, and Ben laugh,

G o o d l u c k .

Ben told you as Jeff opened his car door, then yours and dragged you out.

#chubby reader #fanfic #creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #chubby #fanfiction #x chubby reader #x female reader #canon x reader #female reader #jeff the killer x you #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer x y/n #ben drowned

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racketballz · 2 months

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Why isn’t SBC getting updated anymore :(

On patreon I am redrawing my comic so everything I’m doing has stopped p much

On webtoon because it’s in a period where I took time off from SCBME in real time! Its coming back on the 19th

I know it can be kind of annoying but because I am working on like times 3-5 projects at once to keep myself a float so I have to give myself enough space inbetween things so I don’t die

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urlocallesbiab · 1 year

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ok folks, inspired by This Post (thank you for inspiration and ideas, @agent-p-94/@generalized-incompetence!), i present to you:

brotzly fake dating couple's therapy au; in the form of tumblr messages/a campfire story/an unwitten fic rundown

me: the thing is, they'd PASS

within 10 minutes of knowing each other they'd get so PISSED OFF it'd fill up an entire therapy session

just "YOU NEVER SHUT UP" and "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME" and "I'VE NEVER MET A DUMBER PERSON" and "I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU CRITIQUING MY MUSIC TASTE" and "YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED I SWEAR TO GOD" nonstop rapid-fire with therapist barely able to squeeze a "gentlemen, please!" inbetween

and then they'd stumble out of the building and LAUGH, laugh so hard they'd be clinging to each other near falling to the ground, todd croaking that this is the best stress-release activity he'd done in YEARS, dirk clutching his stomach and crying and highlighting the best of todd insults

both would admit this is the BEST first date ever and schedule the next therapy session

every time they'd spend like 10-30 minutes getting to know each other better, and then full 45 just kvetching, sometimes just YELLING at the top of their lungs to their hearts' delight at the therapist office

agent: The best of Todd insults!!! Omg

They just argue nonstop anyway it's just a space to do that

me: and one day dirk would bring in rings, just plain metal ones (but no one has to know), justify that well, if this is a marriage ruse we might as well up our game, right? but he'd be weirdly skittish and self-conscious about it, like he's overstepping an invisible boundary; but todd would be *down* for it — he would be down for most of dirk's stupid bullshit, it's been so long since he's done any proper good shenanigans, since his life was even half this fun!

and then he'd try on the ring and laugh again because it *doesn't fit*, and dirk would get half-jokingly defensive that he didn't know his size!!, and todd would let him take the measuremnts (bc for what purpose would he know his own ring finger size), and dirk's breath would catch holy and uncomfortably

next time, dirk would get him a good, fitting ring, and it'd make weird things shift in his stomach

agent: OR it would be the RIGHT size, holistically

And he's like well I have to wear it now

And maybe they actually stumble upon something real in the middle of it - Dirk is going full monologue about the dishwasher and he says something and todd stops yelling back and looks unusually affected and is like wait...really? And then they just stare at each other for a minute and Todd is like ...I never knew that. And then they stare some more. And then the therapist is like ummm our time is up? I'm just gonna... Go? And then they're really quiet on the drive home but the next morning they have a new understanding

me: DIRK LETTING HIS TRAUMA PEEK THROUGH AND TODD ACCEPTING IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY

it's silent the whole ride, but just before he drops dirk off (dirk had been BANNED from the wheel since their first date/session) he goes "so, this..... [dryly, as not to disturb, sums up dirk's thing] it's real?"

dirk, usually so talkative, just helplessly shrugs, then shakes his head at himself, then somberly nods a few times, confirming that yes.

todd puts a hand on his knee and goes "dude. this is messed up. i'm so sorry."

dirk just nods some more, tearing up, because even though the words are simple, he's never heard anyone say them, never dared to share, and it hits him so deeply and painfully to be finally validated

he stumbles home, and cries for the whole evening, and feels lighter than usual afterwards

agent: The tragicomedy of falling in love with your own husband...........

me: i think for WORST results they agree it's just a fun platonic thing for shits and giggles before they meet up for the first time

and like, in the therapist's office they're this TERRIBLE couple who HATES each other, and outside of it they're just two guys being dudes, and romance, even fake, exists only in glimpses and doorways, and when the pit of longing opens, there's utterly nothing to stuff in it but stolen glances.

farah is the same therapist's normal patient with actual mental health issues she's trying to work through, and when they meet her in the waiting lobby for the first time they UTTERLY FAIL to convince her that their shtick is real, so they resort to *begging* her not to sell them out, and even though she's really on the fence about the whole thing and is unsure if it's morally okay to do, she gives in to dirk's Professional Puppy Eyes

after a while she gets unashamedly invested and demands they fill her in on the newest lies

maybe in one of dirk's bluffs/"attempts to hone the backstory" he invites himself to todd's apartment to better learn his habits and where he lacks in his homesteading

("well, when do i get to learn what chores do *you* fuck up?" todd asks playfully

"oh, just all of them!" dirk answers nonchalantly

in truth, he just doesn't want todd to see his barely lived-in, depressinly dirty short-term rented apartment. in the time dirk's been here, this city hasn't started feeling any more like a home.

in truth, dirk posted that stupid craigslist ad on his first week here, drunk and lonely and in mood for hijinks and out of his mind desperate for human connection; todd was actually looking for some simple one-off jobs to earn some quick buck, but couldn't resist a Stupid Idea when it dangled itself in his face)

todd gives him a quick tour, dirk half-heartedly criticizes the 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the mildly overflowing laundry hamper, and then for most of the evening they drink beer and play card games with todd's trusty ratty 10 years old deck that misses a jocker and a two of hearts (they decide to forgo the twos altogether) but overall is fine, dirk teaches him a couple of weird local games he'd picked up over the years, then tries to do card tricks but gets half of them wrong, they laugh a lot, todd makes grilled cheese, dirk says that if they ever feel the need to add a dash of appreciation into their sessions — just for some contrast and zest — then he'll admit that he *adores* todd's cooking, todd smiles bashfully and says man that's just some grilled cheese it's not that big of a deal

they pass out on the couch together, and dirk wakes up with a sore neck, sour mouth, and entangled limbs, and feels so at peace and right, and doesn't move, wishes for todd to sleep for longer, just so they could stay like this

then they find out todd doesnt have a spare toothbrush, so dirk has to make do with some gum while todd apologizes profusely

todd's got a shift in the late morning, so they do an awkward half-hug with back-patting, and dirk leaves

when dirk's getting himself a late breakfast at the corner store, he almost buys himself a toothbrush to keep in todd's apartment; then discards the thought; then buys it anyway, but tells himself it's a spare one for his own home, for when he'll need to throw the old one out. he never brings up the toothbrush thing around todd.

also he thinks it's a shame he couldn't brush his teeth, because then he could've kissed todd without worrying about bad breath; he discards that thought even quicker and farther

during one of the sessions, todd accidentaly makes a comment that actually gets to dirk, that makes him feel self-conscious and inadequate and upset

after they've done for the day, dirk asks if this is how todd *really* feels about him?.. todd says no, of course not! all of this is in good fun, just a friendly yelling match. he'd never say *anything* with an actual intention to hurt dirk; now that dirk brought that comment up, todd's never going to repeat it

"you seem like a good guy, you know? i genuinely like you," todd says

dirk feels very very warm

and maybe they sometimes spend time after the sessions too, and sometimes even on free days, just hanging out, relaxed and having fun, enjoying the company

and maybe one day it goes a little too well, and dirk gets a little too brave, and admits to todd that he's started feeling some kind of romantic interest, and asks if he would maybe like an actual date some other time

todd snaps at him.

tells dirk that he's only seen glimpses of todd, that these joke-sessions and little hang-outs show almost nothing of the real him, that he's a *mess*, that dirk doesn't know what he's getting himself into and should back off, that todd's a horrible person who's not worth the trouble

dirk tries to get to him, but todd gets even more defensive, even more closed off, pushes him away, makes that awful painful comment he'd promised he wouldn't say.

they don't show up for the next session.

dirk mops by the building on the scheduled day anyway, because he dislikes his routines disrupted when it's not him doing that, and because he's got nowhere to go, and because he secretly hopes todd will come around anyway (he doesn't.)

he meets farah after her actual session: she's had a Bad one today and is distraught, and dirk suggests they get hammered together. farah thinks it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but after all of 15 seconds of deliberating she agrees

then she cries into his shoulder about her family and expectations and failed police exams and that she's a *failure* and will never get better, and he shakes her by the shoulders and near-yells that she's AMAZING, and fuck her family, and all cops are bastards anyway! she gets affronted and mentions her brothers and father, then realizes those people Are fucking bastards, then laughs and agrees with dirk and cries some more

dirk spills his entire conundrum, start to finish, only 5 useless tangents for the length of the whole thing which is not too bad of a ratio by his own measures, and farah tells him that todd's bullshit is Bullshit, capital B! if therapy taught her *anything* is that any person is capable of change ("you don't need to change yourself though," dirk pipes up; "YEAH, IM FUCKING PERFECT!" farah answers triumphantly), that this is just stupid excuses for excuses! (yeah!) and if dirk thinks that *farah*, with All her failures and fuck-ups, is not a lost cause (of course not!), then neither is todd! (damn, you're making a point!)

they swap some more personal stories, farah almost has a lesbian crisis in front of him but decides to throw up instead, and they leave the bar mostly in good spirits

dirk sleeps all of it off, but the next morning, even though Severely Hangover, he is no less determined.

he stakes out todd's apartment building (he did drop him off the first time; and even though he doesn't remember the adress for shit after all this time, he Luckes Out [after stubbornly cruising the general area for two hours straight])

and confronts him. tells todd that their friendship has been meaningful for dirk, no matter how little todd might think of it. (todd winces. he doesn't say it, but all of this was close to his heart too; he never meant to come off like he did, save for coming clean as an asshole; he *does* care about dirk, rather unreasonably much.) that dirk doesn't ask todd to give *him* a chance, but give *himself* a chance. that no person is irredeemable.

todd is eerily quiet. he invites dirk in, makes him some tea. sits silently at the table for a few minutes. and then, it all spills out: what he'd done to his band, to his *sister*, to himself; what a true actual hopeless horrible Asshole he is. he gets almost angry halfway through, voice rising, — either at dirk or at himself, it's not clear. dirk sits it all out. tells todd that is isn't the worst it could've been. todd begins to snap at him, but bites his mouth, and just buries his head in his arms, hiding. his head is so very heavy. dirk gives him a small solemn lecture about how past perfomance is not a predictor of future results, how it's never late to just *stop* being an asshole. how he's dirk's friend, how he's been kind to him, and dirk trusts him to continue to be kind, to build his life forward. ("*kind* to you? after i'd said that [hurtful thing] — the second time, *deliberately?" todd is bitter and baffled. "i forgive you for it. that's what friends do." dirk says like it's obvious). dirk places his trust in todd. todd struggles to process all that, he just lies on the table neither crying nor breathing; dirk talks to fill up the space, and to make good use of his trust. he tells todd all about his childhood trauma, in great, visceral detail, like he's pulling his guts out; he starts crying halfway through. todd hugs him really, really hard, and doesn’t let go for a while.

todd promises he'll come clean to amanda. dirk promises he'll start looking into therapy for his cptsd. they promise to each other they're friends, best friends.

they come in for the last fake-session with that therapist, just to tie a pretty bow on this whole thing: to tell them they're finally getting divorced, and will not require their services anymore. poor person breaks with an actual heavy sigh of *relief*.

dirk starts seeing a new therapist — not this one, thankfully; farah recommends him an old one she used to work with. she couldn't quite find a good rhythm with him, but she thinks he might be a nice match for dirk. he ends up being exactly that.

todd isn't yet ready for therapy, and dirk is accepting of that. amanda's not talking to him anymore, and he's *not* taking it in stride, but he's holding up as best as he can, and dirk holds his hand through it.

they do have an Actual Date with Romantic Intenstions — it goes remarkably well, even though they bicker for half the duration of it. it's all in good fun <3

they don't wear the rings anymore, but keep them as a memento; both feel weirdly sentimental about them. dirk does finally buy a new toothbrush for himself to keep in todd's apartment.

farah does end up having a lesbian crisis in front of her therapist, the one that todd and dirk have been torturing. poor soul.

#dghda #dirk gently's holistic detective agency (tv 2016)#dghda au #writing #vika's personal dghda tag #vikarambles #dirk gently #todd brotzman #brotzly #farah black #<- only a bit tho; but she's plot-important!#long post #I Guess #fake couple's therapy brotzly au

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kaleidoscopic-quiddity · 5 months

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ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em

i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them

speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath

also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me

the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19

so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol

i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile

pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)

im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT

from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery

i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours

speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged

my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters

my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink

apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it

my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird

showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that

my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid

my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol

which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all

i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??

i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over

having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position

the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it

the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho

regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one

u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??

my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig

#ftm #transgender #top surgery #og post //#uuuh fine to rb ig lol

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davepetea · 2 months

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((just ranting abt writing fanfics you can ignore me lmao. I'm just in a weird place atm but I'm feeling kinda passionate abt writing rn so I'm gonna vent

originally I wrote a lil of this in the tags but then decided to just chuck it under a readmore so people aren't subjected to it against their will. then it got really long.

I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this im just sorta venting to myself. it helps me get my thoughts sorted if I write them down. I can also look back through my #.vat file tag in a few years from now and hopefully be like "wow I'm doing so much better than THAT now", so if that's the case, hi future Vatta! I hope you're having a good day. and if you're not future me, then I still hope you're having a good day, I love you, and this is your chance to turn back bc my rants are boring and LONG

(not turning back yet? ok. your funeral)

so, I haven't been online much bc I've just been in a weird limbo lately and I'm really busy when I'm at home either sorting stuff out or, with my PDA, doing anything I can to avoid my responsibilities lmao

I've been rereading my Tokyo ghoul light novels (I only have Void and Days ? I think they're called), rewatching Zankyou no Terror, and Bungou Stray Dogs (plus the live action Beast film which was? hilarious but I don't think it was supposed to be), and just suffering lmao

(you're still here? wow. you need a hobby. jk. ily)

I've been locked out of the systems at work for a bit, but I still need to be there and wait for the IT ticket to be sorted, so I've gotta be at my desk, cant have my phone or anything, so instead of sitting there doing nothing, I've either been reading, doing codeword puzzles, or I've been writing up 'drafts' for potential fanfics.

in this year of our sufferer 2024. I've been writing up some self indulgent homestuck college AU lmao. I've written over 60 sides of a5, (not inc the inbetween sections where I wrote some stuff on the chromebook at home) some notes, some accidental first draft, bc I wanted something to take up the time. but my handwriting is terrible, I don't write fast enough for my brain, I have a lil dyslexia so the letters and words get jumbled sometimes, and I have this weird thing where I don't do spaces right. but I've been trying to upload it to Google docs with Bixby's photo text extraction. it's pretty good considering how bad my writing is, then I just need to go through and touch it up, the main issues are things like names, there's some letters I do weird like my v turns into an r, or every p it thinks is a capital, but overall. amazing how technology do that.

(see my long ass rambling isn't just confined to venting. I also pretend to write actual things. you can still leave you know. I'm not holding you hostage until you read all this. you have free will)

can't remember how I ended up back in fanfic hell but I read back through like all my old published fics (aside from the cringe ones I orphaned) and the writing isn't terrible. I don't think I actually finished any of them though, which really shows my true nature lmao,,, but I've picked up a few things on my writing style now. and I've got a few things I see other people do that I wanna avoid bc I personally don't like it, and it's mostly about balance, like using names too often/not enough, being too descriptive like All The Time and making the writing really nice, but not much happens in the story so you take like an hour to read each scene, vs not enough description so everything is happening but you don't really get a visual or a breather to appreciate what's happened so far. I've been working on finding my right balance, which is imo easier if you're writing fanfic bc first up you hardly ever have to describe the characters. if someone's reading it they already know who they are. and for scenes you can take some inspo from the source material. does the original work put alot of effort into setting a cool scene? if not, then you don't have to either! if it's 90% scenery then you've gotta do it too I don't make the rules

I'm losing steam now I'm so sleepy and I've gotta go to work in a bit ugh.

(bet you're sleepy reading this too huh. told you it'd be boring)

I've been thinking about trying out writing some BSD fics but on an anonym not linked to my main Ao3, bc the themes are doozys and I kinda just wanna have the freedom of anonymity. also I'm a baby and if someone publicly criticises my stuff without it being a requested critique then it makes me bleh (I've had a few comments in the past of just general negatives, not even constructive feedback, not that I asked for any anyway...), but the abilities are tricky to write for, so it's effort lol

anyway I'm gonna stop now ive gotta get ready for work

(if you actually read this then thanks for going on this emotion deep dive with me. tune in next week when we'll get back to my usual mental breakdown)

#ooc post.#.vat file #genuinely I haven't been online on any blogs lately bc I'm doing. v bad. mental wise.#/rant off

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