#or worse get invested and then get my day ruined when the sex scene happens | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

guqin-and-flute · 3 years

Note

please tell me everything about yanxiyao. i am invested. nay, i am obsessed. an ot3 made up entirely of people who Deserved Better and they are GETTING IT. i don’t care if it’s deep, agonizing 3AM thoughts that make me question how i think about life and love and the mortifying ordeal of being known or if it’s pointless fluffbits scrounged up from your daydreams. GIVE THEM TO ME

AHA, this delighted me, I’m so glad!! [rubs hands] Okay, you have unlocked the avalanche, stream of consciousness, here we go. Boy howdy this got long, so full rambling under the cut.

So I’ve already outlined how it starts with JGY, but you’ve probably seen that and I’m probably going to actually write a getting together fic at some point if the scenes start falling out of the sky into my head, so I’ll skip past that for the time being and start with the beginning of the triad. It begins in a most definite V with JGY as the hinge--Xichen and Yanli are very careful and considerate about each other’s time with him and try very hard not to overlap. Most things are separate--sex times, dates, meals (unless it’s everyone [siblings, et. al] eating together), sleepovers.

However, something happens. Perhaps JGY starts asking to spend a day with both of them, perhaps the greeting conversations when Xichen visits grow longer and warmer and bleed into sitting together over tea, laughing, and forgetting the days plans. Perhaps the way Xichen delights in holding their daughter and playing so very patiently with her begins to completely charm Yanli.

Perhaps it’s when Yanli and JGY leave the toddler with Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng to go for a nice leisurely trip together to Gusu but the weather turns and they have to stay in an inn in the middle of nowhere overnight and Yanli’s health takes a sharp dive all of a sudden and JGY sends a Jin butterfly to tell Xichen the situation and that they’re going to be late. And it’s only after he’s sent it that it comes to his attention that this rinky-dink village’s doctor actually lives in the next city over and is out of town for his daughter’s wedding or something idiotic and won’t be back for days--he has learned this after a slog through the rain to said doctor’s empty house in said next-city-over and then returned to demand of the innkeeper what exactly he’s playing at, sending him out like that when he knew the doctor wasn’t there. And he’s in the process of not strangling the innkeeper when the door bursts open and it’s Xichen, completely waterlogged and anxious and JGY is appalled that he’s just flown through a thunderstorm but secretly very, very relieved he is here.

And so they go upstairs and Yanli is incredibly happy to see both of them, especially since her fever has gotten worse and she is freezing. She wants snuggles and JGY reasons that they should both get in on it, because more body heat, y’know (he’s only trying to help, there are limited options, here) but he and Xichen both are completely soaked from traveling in the rain and they hesitate. Yanli is very much, ‘Oh noooo, the 2 hot men who need to snuggle me are covered in wet cloooothes?? Whatever shall we doooo?’ And the both of them are very seriously trying to tell her that Xichen will need to take off his robes if they’re going to be in bed together and is she okay with that and she’s like, ‘WhaAaaAaat? 😲 Holy cow, I guess I’ll suffer through :3c’ And they laugh and snuggle and sleep and the next few days is them taking care of her while she apologizes for getting sick and ruining the trip while they maintain that this is very nice, actually, minus her feeling terrible. They don’t actually visit Gusu and just end up spending time together in the inn while she recovers.

So, after that, Yanli and Xichen’s relationship becomes a lot more physically affectionate--they hug when they see each other, they kiss each other on the cheek, Yanli and JGY both snuggle up to his sides when they sit alone on the pavilion with the curtains drawn. The both of them have talked separately with JGY about whether this is okay, whether they’re overstepping any boundaries, and his response was basically an incredulous, ‘Are you joking? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ And so the 3 of them spend more and more time together, and maybe there’s a night where they’re all in Xichen’s guest room at Lotus Pier, maybe having a few drinks, and they get onto the subject of how good of a kisser their A-Yao is and he protests saying that they’re biased because they haven’t kissed anyone else, so how could they know. And Xichen flushes and grins, “Aren’t you sly?” and JGY blinks innocently and says, “I don’t know what on earth you could mean 😇!” and Yanli is biting back a laugh and also a little pink but tilts her chin up invitingly and they do kiss and it’s lovely and JGY realizes exactly how much he enjoys that. And from then on, the Xichen’s guest room is more of a formality/decoy than anything else and their suite just so happens to get updated with a bigger bed because, y’know, reasons.

✨Vibes✨:

-WangXian matchmaking happens in earnest when YanXiYao first start their arrangement because now JGY has a concrete reason to find more excuses for more frequent visits from the Twin Jades

-Something about the 2 of them together makes it so that JGY can break down more easily--when it’s just Yanli, he still feels very protective and it’s hard to show his anger. When it’s just Xichen, he doesn’t want to cause him pain, and it’s hard to show when he’s hurting and despairing. When the three are together he is able to let them hold him more easily instead of withdrawing and isolating himself, and it frustrates him, but is also very good for him.

-Xichen and Yanli have a very intense and deep affection for each other that rides the fuzzy line of romantic and alterous; they enjoy cuddling, kissing, they definitely aren’t averse to having sex with each other but it usually happens when JGY is involved in some way, whether everyone participates or it’s a voyeuristic situation in whatever capacity (though this may be impacted by the fact that he doesn’t live with them and most days, Yanli is pleasantly lukewarm about sexual activity in general, so who’s to say it wouldn’t happen naturally, in time?)

-Xichen and Yanli have a relationship that has grown beyond just what they have with JGY and have a wonderful time talking together, giving each other gifts, and exchanging letters. There is a shared exasperation for JGY’s treatment of his health and often look to each other as back up (JGY is annoyed. They simply smile.) They don’t feel the need to really categorize their relationship besides the fact that they love each other, consider the other their best friend, are deeply fond of one another, and plan to all stay as they are for the rest of their lives. (Maybe, eventually, this will lead to a secret marriage ceremony, just for the 3 of them).

-It was after the inn/fever incident that she insisted Xichen call her A-Li

-All 3 have a devious streak and it makes for some very sweet 2 ganging up on 1 and showering them with kisses and affection.

-JGY and Yanli write him joint letters as well as individual ones of their own

-JGY and Yanli view Xichen as an equal status, commuter sort of parent and ask for his opinions and advice on parenting things. Xichen loves the kids like his own and gets to essentially have a kid without the complicated feelings of them being his heir and going through the Lan’s strict practices and corporal punishment. He takes them at Cloud Recesses for a few weeks every year.

-Each of the men have their own guilt attacks, now and again, Xichen about his involvement being selfish (Heirs! Propriety! His uncle!) and JGY over wanting too much (Infidelity! Reputation! A-Li!), and Yanli--who has done enough soul searching and has very comfortably decided that, no, she is quite fine being happy--calmly sits them down, gives them tea, kisses their foreheads, and makes them hold hands with her as they watch their kids play.

#yanxiyao #peony to lotus #my stuff #ahhh this was a nice little exploration 😊#surprisingly there isn't a ton of angst #I'm sure I could make some but this is just generally fluffy and nice!#ask #ask spam #Anonymous

76 notes · View notes

ollifree · 3 years

Text

1. What are things they both find funny?

Pet antics. They share a morbid sense of humor about the plague that anyone else who lived in Vesuvia at the time would find abhorrent. They have different limits on it and know where each other’s is.

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?

You’re gonna limit Lucio to one sentence? Lucio? He’s gotta talk about how smart Skylar is, how good he looks, his talent in magic, his thoughtfulness. Lucio’s favorite words for Skylar are, in order, “Pretty, precious, perfect.”

I’m taking Skylar’s from a prompt from last year.

“Should I start with his eccentricities or…? He’s loud, brash. More cunning than people give him credit for. He’ll have an absolute meltdown if he can’t get his makeup right and have himself convinced two seconds later he always gets it perfect. He wears white because he’s always covered in dog hair. He makes sure everyone knows what his opinion on something is, and will do everything within his power to fix something he deems wrong.”

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

Lucio makes a point of complimenting however Skylar looks, but it’s a rare day Lucio doesn’t praise Skylar’s intellect and dedication to his work.

Skylar’s go-to descriptor for Lucio is “handsome”. His favorite (non-extensive) list of things to compliment Lucio on are: how hard he tries, how brave he is, his confidence, how passionate he is when it comes to the things he cares about.

They each compliment each other’s ass at least ten times per day.

4. What would be their ship name?

Either "grind against your bones until our marrows mix", or "the awful edges where you end and i begin", both of which are lyrics from Ludo's The Horror of Our Love.

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

Favorite activities are lounging on each other, doting on the pets, and people watching. Skylar gets coaxed into doing magic (however mundane) so Lucio can compliment him. In modern verse they binge watch bad reality tv. Lucio will put up with being outside when it snows only because Skylar likes outdoor winter activities and only because Lucio knows he’s gonna get some hardcore snuggle time at the end of it.

6. What is/are their love language(s)?

Lucio’s are gift giving (showing) and words of affirmation (receiving). Skylar’s is quality time. Physical touch is mandatory for both of them.

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

This question is arophobic.

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

I’m always down for some self-fic plugging [link].

Skylar couldn’t have had a better introduction to Lucio: Julian had brought Skylar to Vesuvia for the menagerie, and Skylar and Lucio immediately clicked over their shared love of animals. Lucio truly has a unique personality and Skylar was excited to meet a new kind of person. Add on Julian’s endorsement of the Count and it’s no small wonder Skylar wound up staying in Vesuvia long past when he would have left anywhere else.

9. Have they made each other cry?

Yes. Mostly via mutual vulnerability and happiness. Then the plague happened.

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

This is a direct call out for me not writing my fic yet.

11. What causes them to fight?

Lucio’s Lucio-isms getting out of hand, or Salsa destroying something of Lucio’s. He can’t get mad at his fur babies so Skylar gets to take the brunt of it. Their biggest arguments happened over the coliseum and how to deal with the outbreak of the plague.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Before Lucio’s death Skylar didn’t invest himself enough in Vesuvian politics to give a concrete answer in that area. Insofar as Lucio’s views of being in a position of power? Yes they absolutely have different opinions.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

I was originally going to say “nothing”, then I remembered Lucio has one. So Skylar’s currently sitting at a “nothing” with an asterisk of “unless I remember something”.

Lucio’s is being around Skylar when Skylar’s sick. Lucio has a phobia of catching whatever’s going around after the plague and has to nope out of situations where he’s around illness. That being said he is hyper aware of Skylar’s health, as after leaving Vesuvia Skylar becomes more prone to colds and flues.

14. What would be a dealbreaker?

Skylar's dealbreaker almost happened, which is someone's wants getting in the way of / actively opposing another's needs. Lucio's would be unfaithfulness.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Nothing they outright dislike, but they do recognize the faults the other perceives in themselves and help them improve in that regard. For Skylar it’s his non-confrontational nature getting his needs and wants ignored. For Lucio it’s empathizing with others and taking responsibility for, and dealing with, the consequences of his actions.

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

How dare you.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

Never in anyone’s life would Lucio have expected to get an attachment to the smell of books yet here he is. The same goes for hot chocolate. Skylar walks into the makeup department and it’s just like walking past Lucio’s collection.

18. What would be their love motto?

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

This isn’t in the marriage vows because they have the awareness to go “if we say half the things we feel in front of anybody, concerns we are not equipped to address in an acceptable way will be raised.” After the ceremony, when they’re on their own, this exchange happens:

Lucio: “Love me. Until we’ve been dead so long our bones are dust.” Skylar: “Not good enough. It’ll have to be until the world is ash.”

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

Similar ones to what’s above. Trauma-induced codependency reinforced by magic ritual body trading meta sure is something.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

For the better: by helping one another with the issues listed in question fifteen. For the worse: they gain a lot of codependence for stated meta reasons, along with a very deep-seated fear of losing each other again.

In the end they do leave Vesuvia. Ultimately they are going the route of “this is a very important lesson we’ve learned about responsibility and the consequences of our actions. Now let’s get the fuck out of the city we’re responsible for and one of us nearly ruined with his actions.” They acknowledge the hypocrisy of this, and while in the end they’re better off outside Vesuvia it is there.

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love?

Because I’m a sucker for them the answer’s yes. They only hit the love stage to begin with because Lucio was able to put the work into unlearning and breaking the cycle of the worst parts of his tribe’s culture. I will say though that Lucio staying with the tribe would make it vastly more difficult for them to meet. Skylar still does his traveling, as his parents didn’t have any major expectations beyond “well-functioning adult” when raising him, but considering how infamous the warring tribes of the south are I don’t see travel into the steppes being easy or recommended.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

I honestly may come back to these but 300 words is a lot for my amount of spoons rn.

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

“Skylar has never done anything wrong in his life.” - Lucio Arcanagame

Salsa’s definitely destroyed a few things Lucio’s particular towards, and as it’s impossible for Lucio to be mad at any of his fur babies Skylar gets the brunt of it.

Along with Lucio getting snippy with him for Salsa mauling his good shirts, Skylar’s had to forgive Lucio for a lot. Mostly it’s Lucio-isms that make things get blown out of proportion. Then there’s the Coliseum. And Lucio’s deals. And the plague.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

If all else fails, Lucio knows he can get Skylar out of a book and back to real life by smoochin’ behind Skylar’s ears.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

Sex is a cathartic extension of their shared love language, physical affection. The orgasms are an added bonus.

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

All of them. Like I say it as a joke but it’s just easier writing-wise to have them on the same level. Realistically it’s like 80-90%. Both of them want to please their partner and have a good time doing so. Their communication on that front is solid.

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

This question is acephobic.

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

What up I’m Olli I’m almost 27 and I still haven’t learned how to write porn.

Lucio:

“Does puppy want me to fill him up?” “So precious…” “Look. Look at what I’m doing to you.” “Beg for it.” “Not yet. You piss when I tell you to.” “Do you like the taste of your cum that much?” “Good boy.”

Skylar:

“How you feeling, handsome?” “Are you ready to behave?” “What a mess you are.” “Fuck me so full I can’t move.” “You want to be good, don’t you?” “Master.” “Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck me, fuck me.”

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Shared baths.

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Why are we limiting when the sex happens? The time of day doesn’t affect their enjoyment of it. They’re exhibitionists with impunity there is literally no limit on when the sex can happen.

#arcana #lucio #skylar #oc things #otp: live inside you #it took me a year and three months to finish this #but it's finally done! \o/#so much development have been done #and so many answers have become more concrete

2 notes · View notes

iamanartichoke · 4 years

Note

Why do you feel that way about fandom? (In regards to your latest reblog)

Ah, I’m not sure if I know how to explain it, but I’ll try. (This got long, so I’m really sorry.)

The thing is, I first got into the Loki fandom early in 2018, so I’m coming up on about two years of being active here. That first year was so fun and exciting; I was elated to be able to discuss my Loki theories and meta with like-minded people, and I was so happy (and surprised!) at the attention my fic was getting.

I was also still at a point where I believed IW was going to blow our minds, so there was that extra kind of thrill of suspense (and a bit of fear but, when you believe in the MCU and haven’t yet lost faith in its writers/directors, the fear is surface-level and adds to the thrill - there’s not really the accompanying dread and despair).

IW was a crushing blow to that, of course, but even though we were all devastated, we were all devastated as a fandom. We were still in it together; we had one another to vent to and cry with and share fic with. “Loki is alive bc reasons” became kind of an unwritten rule in most post-IW fics; we all agreed that Loki deserved better.

In 2019, two things happened: one, I was underemployed and dragging my feet on finding better employment due to my mental health, which ruined my life for a little while. I had to move back in with my parents, which (I love them and am grateful they were willing to support me, but) was a toxic environment. I was too depressed to indulge in my escapism the same way (fic and fandom) and my progress on my stories slowed way down. I’ve never quite been able to get back the momentum I had when writing Sanctuary, but that’s another issue.

The second thing that happened was, obviously, Endgame came out and whatever theories and hopes the fandom was collectively holding onto about Loki were crushed. Not only that, but the portrayal of Thor seemed to amplify the divide in the fandom between the pro/anti Ragnarok argument.

It seems, to me, that what was a series of battles or skirmishes only became an all-out war after Endgame. That’s only my perception, of course, but I do feel that the latter part of 2019 saw the divide grow larger and larger. Everyone had opinions on what the “correct” portrayal of Thor was, and how it related to Loki, and whether fanon Thor and Loki’s relationship was founded in canon or not. Everyone was defensive of their own point of view; bullying and name-calling and anon hate became more widespread.

Again, this is just my observation. Those who’ve been on the front lines since Ragnarok came out probably have a much different perspective; I’m only talking about what I observed bc it directly impacts how I feel about fandom these days.

So here we are in 2020; like I said, I’ve been here about two years. I haven’t rewatched any of the Thor movies in ages (although @delyth88 and I are talking about it), because they make me so sad and also so angry. Sad for what we had, angry for what could have been. So much wasted potential. Loki’s horrific end hangs over everything, as does Thor’s radical character change, and I don’t have the same excited outlook about the characters and the meta potential anymore.

Not having watched the movies in a long time, along with that feeling of “ugh” around them, impacts me creatively bc I’m not actively feeding my writing inspiration. For me, fanfic writing comes from being so full of feels about the source material that I just can’t get enough and I need more. I draw my inspiration from things like watching Loki’s facial expressions, catching subtle moments between Thor and Loki, analyzing the way they speak, thinking about the story choices happening, and so on, and so on.

My source of inspiration has dried up, in other words, which has made it hard for me to keep a good writing momentum going. I was feeling great when I rewrote Sea, and then my inspiration kind of plummeted again - this time, bc I felt that I did such a good job rewriting and the response was so positive, I didn’t know if I could finish the rest of the story as well. Like I was already setting up the second half to fail, bc it would be much more “rough draft” than the first - revised and polished, yes, but not gone over with a fine-toothed comb the way the first part was.

The truth is, I carry a lot of stress and anxiety around my writing. I am always incredibly anxious that no one actually likes my fic, that no one is reading my fic, that people think it’s stupid or pointless, that my quirky humorous touches are ooc, that my plotlines are convoluted and boring and my sex scenes awkward and non-existent.

I’m having trouble with the Valki relationship bc I haven’t watched Ragnarok in so long, I’ve forgotten how much chemistry was between them and how it made me feel. I’ve forgotten why I chose to pair them up in this ‘verse in the first place. And I worry about that, too - that the people who read my stories for the Valki are walking away unsatisfied.

So that’s where I am with fic writing - slow and steady, still trying to find my footing, still secretly assuming what I write is shit.

This is on top of feeling more and more isolated on tumblr, mostly because of the aforementioned tensions and overall negativity that’s erupted in the fandom. I have been unfollowed and blocked by people who were once mutuals; I have been blocked by people I’ve never spoken to before.

There’s so much stress surrounding the things I post now - I’m constantly thinking, have I worded this correctly to convey my meaning without shitting on someone else’s opinion? Is this post going to be the one that makes this or that mutual unfollow me? Am I tagging correctly so my pro Ragnarok mutuals don’t see my criticism, and vice versa? Can I still post pictures of Chris Hemsworth, who is possibly the only man in the world I am definitely attracted to, which is a shame bc I agree that he’s kind of a douche now? But he’s so beautiful, but I have to disclaim that it’s just his face I’m attracted to? If I reblog this post about Loki that I think is hilarious, but is also founded on the flat stabby villain characterization, will I alienate my anti friends? Does it imply I don’t understand or appreciate Loki and that, by reblogging the thing, I’m endorsing a shitty characterization?

And so on. It makes scrolling my dashboard uncomfortable and un-fun, bc I end up saving tons of posts to my drafts without reblogging them, and after awhile I am not enjoying myself, so I stop scrolling.

But this means I miss tons of mutuals’ posts, and I was trying to check individual blogs for awhile but I kept falling further behind, and there were more and more posts I’d missed, and I’d get overwhelmed and then feel like they probably hated me anyway at this point for being a shit mutual, so I might as well just keep lurking on the dash for ten minutes and call it a day.

On top of that, I haven’t read fic in awhile bc of this mindset, so I haven’t commented, and then when I don’t get comments it’s like, well, maybe the story’s not shitty but no one’s reading it bc what do I expect when I’m not reading theirs? You’re not special, Charlotte.

The worst part about all of this is that none of it should diminish (and hasn’t diminished!) my love of Loki as a character. I am excited about the series, but I am also very anxious about it - about the story not being good, yes, but also about the inevitably divide that will further split the fandom.

No matter how the story goes, someone’s going to be upset. You can’t please everyone, and trying only makes for worse storytelling. So the wank will continue.

But I love Loki. I love everything about him. I am interested in writing about him and reading about him and thinking about him. I am invested in him and always will be. It’s just that, right now, I’m kind of falling further and further out of fandom and I find I have less to say.

And so I either have to wait it out, or work on my own mindset, or keep on keeping on. I just don’t know how long that will take or if I’m even liked enough here to try to bother.

tl;dr: Fandom has made me cynical and jaded, and it has dampened not my love of Loki, but my love of interacting with the Loki fandom.

(I know you didn’t ask for this hot garbage pile of my feelings, anon, so I’m sorry.)

#charlotte replies #a nonny mouse #fandom wank

21 notes · View notes

bartsugsy · 6 years

Note

So let's say they had ended their "relationship" right after the lodge. What do you think it was? Pure manipulation? Attraction? I need you to elaborate in the "Robert didn't like Aaron during that era" part. I'm not patronizing I low key agree and want to hear your POV. What Robert felt about Aaron? And Aaron about Robert? (Erase in your mind if you can what we got after Gordon's era. Just the initial story- the affair)

the first time i watched the storyline, i was much more of a casual viewer

and i think i’ve softened on this interpretation a fair amount since, probs because i’m way more biased now and because later canon has obviously influenced my hindsight (but you can skim through my break up posts to get my feelings about robron and the affair era now lmao) - but this still holds up, i think

but the first time i ever watched it, i felt, for the most part, as though rob and aaron were having a great time initially but that rob was hella out for himself and also prioritised his position at home farm and the whites’ money over everything.

katie threatened that and robert was desperate for her to not do anything so he manipulated her and ultimately accidentally ended her life over it.

aaron also threatened that, as aaron held a secret about rob that could expose rob to the whites, and that was mostly ok because the secret was mutually beneficial for aaron. after katie died, rob used aaron’s feelings against him - told him all the stuff he wanted to hear and manipulated him into keeping quiet about katie’s death - said the words i love you, even

but there was something inconvenient there

some little spark of feeling

i think, when robert told aaron the truth about katie in march, that was sort of the moment where i thought to myself…. ok well rob did not need to do that, that’s actually terrible for rob - he’s lost his biggest advantage over aaron and keeping aaron quiet about katie - and the only reason he told aaron was because aaron was suffering

so at that point i started to wonder if maybe aaron was more under rob’s skin than rob cared to admit, but still rob went ahead and continued to manipulate him until the point where the donnie era happens and everything is stupid god i hate the donny era so much

and then they make their way back to one another and the portacabin sex happens and rob still has flashes of genuinely sort of maybe caring about aaron’s well-being - but not enough to not try to kill paddy lololol

and then the lodge happened and i was like hOLY CRAP HE LOVES AARON which is a fucked up response to the lodge scenes, let’s not pretend otherwise, BUT HERE WE ARE LOOK AT THE FUCKED UP COUPLE I HAVE SHIPPED SINCE DAY DOT IM PAST THE POINT IN BEING ASHAMED ABOUT THIS LMAO

but yeah, rob was all like FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU RUINED EVERYTHING and i was like holy shit yes it did HE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL AARON HE COULD HAVE BEEN A RICH LIL SUGAR BABY AND INSTEAD HE FELL IN LOVE AND THAT SUDDENLY BECAME ALMOST MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY

almost 😏

and then rob let aaron (and paddy) go, knowing full well he wasn’t capable of going any further, of flat out murdering someone or of hurting aaron any more

he let aaron go and aaron took back control the only way he knew how

and everything was in tatters and I PROBS WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP THERE BUT I WANTED TO WATCH THE AFTERMATH AND THEN I WAS HONESTLY HIGH KEY EXCITED ABOUT ROB BEING THE CENTRE OF A WHODUNNIT MYSTERY

EVEN THOUGH HE WAS IN A FUCKIN COMA FOR FOREVER AND A DAY

BUT I FIGURED ROBRON WAS OVER SO I JUST KIND OF KEPT WATCHING FOR WHO SHOT ROBERT AND THEN TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS UP WITH AARON

so rob got shot and then woke up from his redemption coma and decided aaron > money lmao

that’s the gist of my first impressions

and there’s not really much more to it than that or any more complexity, because i wasn’t hella invested then in the way i am now so my meta was limited to the above, basically

oh and that aaron was in love with robert but didn’t stand for his shit. i felt like that was aaron’s side in all of this. real deep 😂

i was hella in this for a long time just to try and figure out robs motivations because they confused the shit out of me, i’m pretty sure

so tl;dr rob was manipulating aaron but accidentally fell in love with him along the way smh and aaron was high key into robert but did not deserve his shit

but i wanted to watch them do their thing anyway bc it was fucking GRIPPING and their chemistry was AMAZING and who cares that morally i felt like i’d never witnessed a worse relationship in my life bc it was good fun, but not sustainable fun

i really didn’t think it was even slightly sustainable

which is ofc why they’ve had to change them. bless soaps for being able to do that.

but yeah. that’s basically it, from what i remember.

#long post #this was weird - trying not to add my own present day meta into this was weird #lololol #answering anons

5 notes · View notes

snips-kryze · 4 years

Text

Marriage Story - Thoughts

Last night I saw Marriage Story and I'm still in shock. I loved it, more than I could imagine, and has left my head spinning that I had to come here to express what I feel with this movie (sorry for my english I am actually spanish lol)

- First, I want to say that the performances are impressive. Adam Driver, I don’t know what else I can say, everyone said it was amazing what he did in this movie and I of course I believe it, but seeing it is something else. What has made me feel, the two times I've cried have been with him, the scene where he sings, the feeling, his expressions ... Sublime. With Scarlett, I’m more surprised because I haven't paid as much attention as with Adam, but I think her performance is also incredible, the monologue she has with Laura Dern and her interpretation in the fight scene deserves all the recognition as well.

Now I'm going to focus exclusively on the plot, because I have many mixed feelings (and not because I didn't like it, but because I just don't know how to feel about the characters and their motivations)

Although I have concluded that none of the characters were correct, I cannot deny that I have empathized much more with Charlie. This is why I will talk about each character separately to try to reach a conclusion

From the beginning I could not connect with Nicole. I understand her frustration, her desire to pursue her dream and and I fully understand that she wants a divorce. Having your husband laughs at you when you are telling him about your new project with which you are very excited, after feeling for so long that you have been in his shadow and that you have not managed to take off as a person and artist, it is horrible. Not to mention his infidelity, which I will discuss later. So far I understand Nicole, and she has every right to pursue her dream, in Los Angeles or wherever. Now comes everything I do not understand. She says she went to New York, engaged to another man, and met Charlie and never returned. She made the decision to stay in New York and give up Los Angeles, you can't put that in your partner if deeply you regret that decision because it was YOUR decision. No one separated you from LA, you got married there, your son was born there, your whole family has always been in LA. That you deep down would like to live there again doesn't mean it's fair. You made a decision to settle in New York with your husband, you have based your life on that site and in the end it is your home, I do not see that thought of Nicole who seems to think that Charlie dragged her to New York and separated her from her house and her family, I just can't see it. Then, even though Charlie is very selfish, Nicole does not fall behind. Accept the pilot, ok, he takes his son who has always lived in New York, takes him out of his school and his life, decides to take the judicial process, one who agreed with Charlie not to start, in Los Angeles. It does not seem to me that at any moment she has in mind how this can affect Henry's relationship with his father, that he has to be going from one end of the country to another, seeing him the minimum. Don’t forget that Charlie had just got his play performed on Broadway, an achievement just as important as your pilot, and you're making him have to choose between his job and his son when you (Nicole) didn't have to. To the conclusion that I arrive with respect to Nicole, and all based on my personal experience, is that when love ends, you tend to see everything bad in your relationship, it is a kinda what Charlie says in the fight " You love your life until you decide you hate it "; I do not fully agree with this statement, it was clear that Nicole was not at all happy and that she looked like an extension of her husband, but I think that what failed is the communication, to express that, she needed to feel fulfilled outside of her circle and its theater, but could not. And when the problems began, love was not enough. I think Nicole, when she is no longer in love with Charlie, paints a much worse relationship than she really was, and I rely on the things she wrote in the What I love about Charlie letter, she really loved him and had been happy in New York, but love can't cope everything, and years of shutting up what she felt made it explode. And I believe a little in my mind of hopeless romantic, that if they had talked things before they could have fixed the relationship, with Charlie staying with his theater and Nicole with his series. But that is something that I think and that maybe does not make much sense.

Now we go with Charlie. It is likely that if Adam Driver had not interpreted this character he would not have been able to empathize with him so much, but I will try to separate my love for the actor from his character. I sympathize with Charlie in his role as father. Having your wife take your child thousands of kilometers away is not easy. But he accepts it. That your wife wants to stay there and take your child to live is another matter. And I think his fight there is justified. I would feel the same, added to how the relationship with Henry is changing. It is true that Henry wants to stay in Los Angeles after moving, and that must be respected because the important thing is the child's well-being. But I don't know if it would have happened if Nicole hadn't taken him from the beginning. Had Henry shown wishes before he wanted to leave NY? He didn't like his school or friends? It is something that we are not told. Charlie's life falls apart, his life as far as he has known no longer exists, and that happens in all divorces, is true, but going from having a family to the possibility of not seeing your son I think is different. That's why Charlie is so clinging to stay in NY, because although his marriage can no longer be saved, he does not want his family, and remember his only family, to disappear. Charlie has no parents or siblings who support him like Nicole, he says he has always felt Nicole's family as his own family, and when he divorces he loses everything. Losing your home in NY with your son is not as easy as to say, we have lived these years in NY now we go to LA. Or so I see it. That last scene just breaks your heart. See how his photos are gone, his mother-in-law who was so attached to show that same affection to Nicole's new boyfriend (which is normal, but anyone would feel hurt).I felt so devastatedin the scene with the woman who was deciding on the custody, and annoyed by the fact that we didn’t get to see the same scene with Nicole, I think it was necessary. It is not clear to me if in the end his play manages to reach Broadway, I want to think that yes, he returns to LA a year later so in that year he may have been representing it. I don't want to keep that feeling that Nicole "wins" as her lawyer says: Henry, boyfriend, Emmy, etc. The fact that Charlie decides to take a job in LA, and the way he gets emocional reading the letter, shows that in the end he was just a man trying not to lose his son: He needs to know that I fought for him. Of course, Charlie is not perfect and he certainly has not been a good husband. I think Charlie was so obsessed with triumphing and showing himself that he could get his dream without help, leave an abusive home, that he didn't know how to take care of his wife. He could not see that her wishes were not being fulfilled, that she had become the woman of, the girl who was in that movie, who without her support could not have reached where he was. To make fun of his wife with his pilot, or to ask her to invest the money in the theater, seems cruel to me. And his infidelity; I believe that no infidelity is forgivable, or I would not do it, but if there is something that came to me and it is that in the fight Charlie tells Nicole that she should not be bother by the sex, but the fact that he share a laugh. And that is true, somehow. I believe that the worst thing about an infidelity is not sleeping with another person; sex is sex. But sharing moments, laughing, being happy with another person who is not your partner, that's the worst. That Nicole took a year without wanting to sleep with him or making him sleep on the couch is not justification, much less, but it is proof of the lack of communication they had. Charlie has not been a good husband, but he never stopped being a good father and it broke my heart to think that in the end he could end up losing his son.

In short, I believe that none was wrong, and none was right. It is a story that breaks your heart, because you can see two people who loved each other very much, but cannot continue together. One person, Nicole, who has spent years wanting something else for her, feeling small next to her husband. And Charlie, a man who has made mistakes, who has loved his wife but without knowing how to prove it to her, who has not known how to see more of his own personal desire, who loves his son with all his heart, and who realise everything when it's too late. One day after seeing it I still think about this movie and I think I will spend a lot of time like this, this story has stayed with me, made me laugh, cry, and it broke my heart. Thanks, Noah Baumbach.

Someone to hold you too close Someone to hurt you too deep Someone to sit in your chair And ruin your sleep And make you aware of being alive

#marriage story #adam driver #charlie barber #noah baumbach #scarlett johansson #nicole barber #henry barber #netflix

1 note · View note

haltandcatchfiretothemax · 7 years

Text

I wanna be a problem: Cameron and Donna Question Their Limitations in "High Plains Hardware"

"High Plains Hardware" is the manufacturer's name on the shovel Donna uses to kill an ailing bird at the end of this episode, but there's the obvious wordplay with electronic hardware, which 'is forever', according to Donna and Gordon, and the less obvious reference to metaphoric 'hardwiring,' as in a human being's 'hardwired' behavior or personality quirks. This episode takes our core cast out of the environments and positions we've seen them in to show us how similarly they ultimately behave in different settings.

It's been a week since the drama of the IBM raid, and Cardiff Electric's p.c. project and its players have found their respective quotidian rhythms of coder's block, hardware design brainstorming, chasing and bickering over funding, and unflagging support and unending domestic labor. Let's just get the guys out of the way first: Gordon is suddenly in charge, J*e is pressed to be a team player, and Bos is forced to work with J*e. Gordon rises to the occasion at work, pursuing his ideas and firing his Matthew McConaughey-esque naysaying neighbor, but then as always forces Donna to do more than her share at home. J*e is savvy enough to fall in line, but when he responds poorly to a potential investor (who, to be fair, did seem like a terrible fit for the project), he slips right back into his Hoe MacVillain suit and eventually resorts to fvcking the investor's boyfriend in her study to truly ruin the deal. Bos gets in some deal-ruining of his own earlier in the episode, but, he at least tries to put Cardiff and company loyalty (and, uh, survival) first, only to once again be thwarted by J*e's antics.

While all of this is happening, Donna is going about her life, or trying to. We see her at her job for the first time, reporting to her supervisor, the extremely Texan Hunt Whitmarsh. She's "identified the bugs in the PCBs," but she's noticed that the bigger issue is that the keyboard bounces. She has a possible fix for it, but Hunt's not interested: "But that's not our purview? Right?" he patronizes her. It sounds like it's not the first time he's had to say this to her. Idea quashed, he moves on to small talk, asking about Donna's parents, and she can't do much but respond in kind, asking how his wife is. We find out that they went to high school and were even in band together! Hunt pays her an clunky compliment, about how everyone knew Donna didn't quite fit in back then, but that he knew she was just 'marking time, waiting for something better to come along'. Weird as it is, Donna seems to appreciate the effort and the attention.

But then, she's not getting much of either at home. When we see her at the Clark residence later, with her mom, the first thing we hear the as-of-yet unnamed Susan Emerson say is, "Nothing like a bubble bath to make you forget life's little traumas!" "Works for me," Donna grimaces while cleaning her kitchen, though do we really believe Donna has done anything so indulgent lately? (No, we don't.) Their conversation seems relaxed, but when her mother casually brings up Gordon's sensitivity about his in-laws' money and gifts, and Gordon's long hours at the office and Gordon's not being Hunt (who they haven't even seen at the club!), Donna is visibly agitated and resigned. It's not the first time she's heard any of this, either. When her mother asks her how work is only to start talking about Hunt, it's the second time we see someone interrupt Donna and keep her from making herself heard. And we see her get cut off a third time at the end of the episode when she asks Gordon to kill the bird, and he refuses, forcing her to go do it herself, Donna's apparent lot in life. I get it, he's an engineer, he thinks like you, but you can do better, girl.

As always, Cameron is dealing with the opposite of what Donna's dealing with: plenty of professional responsibility, a huge, juicy problem to solve all by herself, and few limitations or parameters. Cameron's whole Anton Newcombe-type reclusive genius who sleeps in the recording studio thing is starting to work against her though, and she's so in her head that she resorts to voluntarily tidying her desk (hashtag: MAYDAY!). The paycheck she finds is the perfect excuse to take a real break and 'go outside' as the young people on tumblr say. She meets some punks in a literal alley, and because she's Cameron, she's getting them all a hotel room to party in after five whole minutes with them.

Except that Cameron doesn't really party with them? She seems only slightly more comfortable with people her own age than with her coworkers, standing against the wall and self-consciously watching everyone drink and dance rather than joining them. Cameron is revealed to be genuinely socially awkward, unlike her new punk friends who apparently choose to not work and to not dress or behave as expected, but interact comfortably with her from when they first meet her. It's not a front, or costume, or contradictory punk politics with Cameron; she really doesn't fit in anywhere, and probably wouldn't even if she really tried. (How Mackenzie Davis hasn't been recognized for how real and visceral she makes Cameron and her physical alienation from everything around her, I truly cannot understand.) And she does try, going so far as to let one of her new punk acquaintances give her the beginning of a stick and poke tattoo (of the Black Flag logo, which I will be screaming about for approximately the rest of time) before she panics and runs into the bathroom only 1 (of 4) bars in, and then sneaks out of the hotel room.

Because she's better at and more comfortable with one-on-one interactions, Cameron's run in with Bos in the middle of the episode is more successful. Bos advises her and holds her accountable for her behavior, without judging her for her social gracelessness. She resists at first, but she seems to connect with him, and even kindly if clumsily reassures him that computers are complicated, and that it's okay that basic coding language doesn't yet make sense to him. Bos is genuine with her, having no reason to be anything else, and she responds to it. In that moment, she appears to begin to invest emotionally in Cardiff and the p.c. project, and it's not entirely surprising when she shows up at J*e's apartment at the end of the episode, looking for more 'one-on-one interaction', with the one person she can realistically get it from at this point. You can also do better, girl. *Sigh*

Or, can she? Cameron and Donna seem deep in their respective ruts and social positions, the outsider living off whatever she can scavenge (including but not limited to bowling shoes, twinkies, and sporadic non-relationship sexual intercourse) and the long-suffering and endlessly, silently adaptable wife and professional. Worse, their lives seem structured to keep them confined to those roles. But both of them are beginning to feel the limitations on their lives, and are looking for ways around those limits. By the end of the episode, Cameron and Donna both want more; it's a start.

Stray bytes:

This ep feels like a very long day, which must be intentional. It actually takes place over two days, though.

The scenes at LouLu Lutherford's feel the longest, which also must be intentional. Even better is how they contrast with the hotel punx scenes.

The discussion of the first U.S. women in space feels meta, even if indirectly? J*e isn't impressed by it because the Soviets already did it. "It's a gimmick." I.e., it is obviously inauthentic and ahistorical. Thanks for letting us know how you feel about Strong Women Characters™, show.

J*e having gay sex = cooooooool; gay sex having no purpose other than anti-hero villainy = NOT SO MUCH.

The show puts a lot of distance between Cameron and J*e for most of this episode, which is an uncomfortable continuation of the weirdness between them in the previous episode, but again, that’s its own post.

“She took my soda....” And you took your wife’s idea and passed it off as your own, Gordon, LMAO

#as of today i have a month to get through this rewatch pray for me #again no cut for accessibility #the h&cf rewatch #1x03 #high plains hardware #halt and catch fire to the max originals!#original halt and catch fire to the max analysis!#hacf to the max original recaps

1 note · View note

casualarsonist · 6 years

Text

Disenchantment: Season 1

Matt Groening is an Ideas Man. Life in Hell, The Simpsons, Futurama, it’s not often that a single creative becomes the voice of more than one generation. And yet, his TV shows, at the height of their respective successes, were not identifiable by Groening’s direct influence so much as they were their fantastic team of writers. At their apex, Groening’s greatest successes were far bigger than Groening himself, and while he was adept at dreaming up the conceit and the characters of the worlds he created, it was on the back of the efforts of a fantastic writing team that his shows flourished. So while Groening’s typically warped and cynical worldview held his comic strip in good stead, his short-form, frame-by-frame method of joke-telling lacks the subtlety and nuance that a good story-writer can use to build to a punchline, or to thread its characters into the weave of its plot rather than just having them stick their heads through a door and utter a joke because it’s been five minutes and the egg-timer sitting by his computer has gone off. In saying that, his contribution here is in co-operation with one of The Simpson’s most acclaimed writers - Josh Weinstein - so I don’t really know where to start in trying to figure out exactly what happened in the production of Disenchantment to start it off on such a bad footing.

Disenchantment is a ‘Netflix Original’ - a brand I can’t help but instinctively flinch at the mere mention of. To be fair to Netflix, not all its releases under that title are trash - some are even straight-up excellent - but there are literally hundreds of Netflix Originals released all over the world, and when you have the money and ambition that Netflix has (or had) there’s going to be an inevitable temptation to throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. After all, Netflix is the bastion of those willing to settle for cheap thrills, rom coms, and anything that will drown out the deafening sound of existential dread reverberating around the inside of their skulls. Not the most discerning audience, is what I’m saying. And to be fair to Disenchantment, Groening’s writing only appears credited in the first episode (even though the symptoms of that writing appear throughout to various degrees throughout the series). But when you’ve only got ten episodes to make your mark, and your appeal is in part trading on the pedigree of a back-catalogue of seminal shows such as The Simpsons and Futurama, the bar you’ve got to leap is going to be higher than usual. Which is why it’s so baffling that the opening episodes of Disenchantment are just. so. bad.

Full disclosure - I barely got half way through the first episode before I gave up with a groan and a roll of the eyes and turned it off. I even called it ‘Disenchanted’ seven times in this review before I realised I was getting the title wrong. Perhaps I was projecting. The only reason I watched the rest of the series was so I could write this review in good faith. Characters bounce from scenario to scenario in a chaotic, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink fantasy world. The narrative almost invariably plays out in a ‘this happened, and then this happened, and then THIS happened’ format. Mediocre visual gags and one-liners are shoehorned into scenes with no care at to how relevant they are, or how they affect the pacing. Everything is overstated, lacking the finesse that the best episodes of The Simpsons or Futurama used to let their humour and emotion sneak up on the viewer and take them by surprise. It lacks the endearing characters, the contained and engaging storylines, and the genuine social commentary that both of its predecessors had. And on top of all this the animation is really, really cheap, meaning that my first impression was that it was as amateurish in its visuals as it was in its script.

Growing pains can be a passing thing. The first season of the American Office was mostly trash, as was that of Parks and Rec, as were the first few seasons of The Simpsons, and while the entry point into Disenchantment reeks like a teenager’s bedroom, with time and distance from the first episode it does open up in two something more engaging. But that doesn’t absolve it of its sins, as the budgetary and temporal constraints of the ‘Netflix Original’ title have clearly failed to let this series grow large enough to support the wide creative team it needs to even entertain thoughts of approaching its predecessor’s quality. Everything about Disenchantment feels impermanent compared to its predecessors - from the meandering and indefinable conceit, to the clutch of thinly-written characters, to the cheap, badly-written, throwaway jokes…it all feels like it wasn’t made to last beyond the initial ten episodes. It feels like a draft copy.

Which is a real shame, because Disenchantment is a vehicle for an excellent cadre of modern comedians and performers who simply haven’t got much to work with. Abbi Jacobson and Eric Andre both came from better, more ground-breaking shows to play far-less interesting characters. ‘He’s a demon, BUT HE’S KINDA CUTE!’; ‘she’s a princess, BUT SHE’S ALSO A ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE REBEL!’ The best a character can hope to be in this series is a thing that is also another thing, otherwise, they’re Kissy, the promiscuous elf. Or Weirdo, the sex pest elf. Or Shocko, the elf that expresses shock, and is legitimately the only joke I laughed at in the first episode by virtue of the fact that it was just so dumb. Below even that rung lay the characters that exist only as vessels for shitty end-of-scene one-liners, like the guy who walks through the door after the King has threatened to decapitate anyone who looks at his daughter, saying ‘oh boy, did I look at HER!’ Ugh.

And when the jokes aren’t content to simply be bad, they straight-up don’t make sense - a perfect example of this being when the princess’ betrothed accidentally impales his head on a sword.

Let’s break it down:

- A prince drops the ring during his wedding ceremony, and when bending to pick it up accidentally impales his head on a sword. The joke being that a character is suddenly killed in an unexpected way. This is mildly amusing.

- A member of the court declares him dead. To which the prince replies with the garbled mess of a line: 'Ah, I think I’m alive. No, wait, never mind.’ He then slumps down dead. Aside from not being as funny as the first joke, in showing the price to be alive it undoes the punchline of the first joke. ‘Prince has an accident and lives’ is not funny. ‘Prince has an accident, seems to live, but doesn’t’ is also not funny.

- Finally, after two increasingly poor gags that both rely on the prince’s death to even be considered jokes at all, the scene moves on for around a minute before the prince opines the fact that no-one is helping him. Not only does this YET AGAIN render the two previous jokes moot (’Visibly alive man turns out to be alive’), it just plain doesn’t make any sense. The joke was that he died. Twice. Why would anyone be expected to help him? Did they forget to take this out of the script? Or did they just forsake consistency and the internal logic of their show so they could cram as many shit gags in as possible?

In two minutes we have three crappy bits that are all essentially the same joke, each one simultaneously worse than the last AND retroactively rendering the jokes before it less funny. To be honest, I’m kind of impressed. It’s almost the perfect, literal, anti-comedy. And it’s the norm, rather than the exception, for the first few episodes at least. Any time the show starts to get any steam up and you allow yourself to be invested, some kind of desperate, tone-deaf non sequitur swings in and ruins your mood. The best jokes in the series are either less-painful versions of this, or the occasional rare gem that is both unexpected AND YET makes sense for the scene. When the king laments that he can’t possibly lose anything else, and then his crown slips off his head and plunges over the railing of his tower, THAT’S funny. In the moment, I laughed out loud. And it’s not even that spectacular a joke. But it’s sadly among the best that Disenchantment can offer.

I’ve got a real bone to pick with Netflix’s ‘Originals’. If you ever held hope that one day down the track the channel’s trashheap would be thinned out, or somehow transformed by the platform’s success, then one five-minute wade through the collection will convince you that this is a pipe-dream. It’s an endless sea of low-budget, thrown-together mediocrity that seriously suggests the person greenlighting these things needs to have their rubber stamp confiscated. Disenchantment grows on you, and by episode ten you might even find yourself a little bit invested. But big picture, the series is just another idea flung at a wall and failing to stick. The potential is there, I suppose, and I can only hope that the upwards momentum carries over to the newly-commissioned second season, but the low quality animation and poor execution just pulls the rug out from under it. Groening’s style is best suited to self-contained episodes that allow the writers to condense the humour; a ten-episode arc with a flimsy plot is not fertile ground for a style of show that needs time to find its feet and settle into the premise and the characters. And while it might amuse you if you hang around long enough, I don’t really feel like awarding points to a show for being kind of worth it eventually. Disenchantment simply doesn’t hold a candle to the best of Groening’s works.

5/10

#disenchantment #matt groening #animation #simpsons #futurama #luci #bean #televition #review #tv #netflix #streaming #on demand #cartoon #fantasy #elves #eric andre #abbi jacobson

0 notes