Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
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Would you continue the Addams Family au?
"Thena?" Gil whispered in his family's expansive home library. He didn't receive a reply, but he should have known he would lose her to his family collection.
He had shown her around the manor as soon as she and her father arrived. Their fathers went to talk business and he was entrusted with her. So, like normal, he had taken her hand and led her away from the business talk and to show her around their home.
The library was only the third stop on their tour, counting just looking out the windows of the grand hall, but she had laid her eyes on all the books they had and excitedly asked if they could explore it.
How could he say no to that?
She looked so cute and enthused and he rarely got to see that sparkle in her eye with both her parents breathing down her neck. He was happy to encourage her, even if it meant potentially never finding her again in the labyrinthine shelves.
"Thena," he whispered again, walking slowly in case she was crouched down behind a stack waiting to be re-shelved. "Are you still in here?"
"Gil?"
He poked his head around a corner and found several piles of books, all several tomes high but arranged very neatly in their respective stacks. He chuckled, "find some stuff you like."
Thena immediately turned contrite, and maybe a little flustered. She looked down at her piles from up on the ladder. "I-I'm sorry, perhaps I have let myself get carried away."
"Hey, don't let me stop you," Gil said gently as he came to the base of the ladder. He both held it steady and averted his eyes as she scurried down in her white dress. He chuckled down at the black and white floor tiles, "someone should read them--might as well be you."
Thena offered her thanks silently in her expression, which he was used to. But she looked down at the books she had pulled out for herself and even hugged the one she was holding to her chest. "I can't possibly take them with me. Even if you say so, Father would be mortified at the idea of me taking such liberties."
Gil made a face, rolling his eyes only while Thena wasn't looking at him. Her father was a real pain in the ass sometimes. "Hey."
"Hm," Thena blinked as he started picking up one of the stacks in his hands. "Gil?"
"Let's just make you a shelf of your own," he suggested, balancing the books in his hands as he walked somewhat blindly to where there were still a few empty shelves in the back corner. "Then you can save all the ones you want to read and borrow them a little at a time."
"Truly?" Thena inquired behind him. He heard a few covers thunking around and finally turned. Much to his relief, Thena had about a half a stack in her more delicate hands, hurrying to follow him.
"Yeah," he laughed at how baffled she was that he would let her borrow some books that were just collecting dust. "I don't spend much time in here, really. These shelves are actually mine. Ma thought it would encourage me or whatever."
Gil set the stack down on the floor first rather than try to angle and cram them all onto the shelf at once. For the most part, he wouldn't really care if they fell or got damaged, but if Thena wanted to take them home with her then he could at least treat them with a little respect.
"Thank you," she said quietly, keeping her eyes forward as she also shelved the books she had brought with her, even shuffling them around the ones he put up to alphabetize them in real time.
He smiled as the backs of their hands brushed, although Thena was quick to retreat from it. "Any time, Thena. You're welcome to anything and everything here."
"That is a generous," she laughed faintly, "and dare I say unrealistic invitation."
"Maybe," he sighed. As much as his wildest dreams could be of him gallantly suggesting they run away together from both their families' strict rules, it simply wasn't an option. "But so long as you're with me, I mean it."
"That's sweet."
With no more books in hand to shelf, Gil looked over at her. She clasped her hands in front of her again. It was natural for her to totally clam up, he was coming to learn the more time he spent with her. It was a shame, though--like a beautiful flower that could only bloom by itself.
Or something poetic like that.
"Father is excited to discuss their railway negotiations," she murmured, returning to the safer topic of their fathers' shared business interests. She returned to her piles, picking up a few more books for herself.
Gil sighed as he picked up another full stack. But he didn't expect her to suddenly be able to view her father in a new light after living directly under his thumb all her life. "Yeah, Pop is all giddy at the thought of your dad using it to ship his building stuff?"
"Indeed."
The two fell into silence again, only the sounds of the books on the shelves filling in the air between them. They hadn't struggled to speak much before now, but he was struggling to think of something just as much as she was.
He had tried flirting with her before. And while she hadn't gotten mad at him for it, he wasn't really sure if she wanted to go down that road again, either.
He looked over as Thena cleared her throat faintly. She was determinedly looking at each book spine as she arranged them. "Do you have a favourite?"
"Book?" he asked, and then immediately felt dumb with the weight of a particularly thick one right in his hand. He also looked at the shelf, feeling the back of his neck grow warm. "Uh, kind of. It's a little embarrassing, though."
"What could possibly be embarrassing about it?" Thena asked, her curiosity beating whatever tentativeness she had.
"Well," he sighed, knowing that as soon as she asked, she was going to get the honest answer anyway. He looked upward, feeling the back of his shirt and suit jacket against the heat in his skin. "I was a kid."
"My aunt wasn't really the type to play with me much, but whenever she visited, she would read me whatever story I wanted. I had adventure books about pirates and knights and stuff. But one that was her favourite was about this lonely woman."
"Oh?" Thena leaned closer.
"She lives outside of town, all alone, and everyone thinks she's a witch or some sad, old widow or something. But then one day, a man stumbles to her door. She opens it up and he's been travelling, but he's collapsed, on the verge of starving. So she takes him in and gives him a meal."
"When he asks why she helped him she says 'I don't know'. She keeps trying to get him to leave, but he's like, 'oh, my shoes are in ruin', so she fixes his shoes. Then he's like, 'oh, I have no food for the journey to the next town', so she bakes him biscuits to take with him. Then he's like, 'yknow, it's getting cold, sure could use a coat'. And she says, 'ugh, here's your stupid coat'."
Thena laughed along as he went through the summary of the old story.
"Then, finally, this guy is ready to get back on the road. He says goodbye to this woman he's been staying with for weeks now, and he asks if she wants to go with him. She says she can't. But he asks why not--she's just shown him that she can prepare everything she needs to make the trip. So what's holding her back?"
"And basically the woman realises that she's only staying there for the sake of it--because she's afraid to leave her home. But the man tells her just to come with him to the next town, just to see what it will be like. If she doesn't like it, then he'll walk her back to her home and be on his way."
Thena's expression shifted in real time as he continued. She toyed with the end of the tight blonde braid wound over her shoulder. "What a sad conclusion."
"Lucky it's not over, then," Gil grinned, causing her to laugh again. "She goes with him to the next town. It's a short trip, only a few days. And they see the sights, and she gets to experience nature and stuff, and blah-blah-blah-"
Thena nudged his arm affectionately, "don't skip the best parts! You told me in such great detail her making biscuits and sewing a coat!"
He laughed, enjoying fussing with her as if they were kids. "You've gotta read it for yourself!"
Her eyes changed as she stopped poking his arm and folded in on herself again. "Will you not tell me the ending, then?"
He could decline to, and just tell her to read the book for herself. But she also seemed like she really wanted to know. He put his hand on her shoulder as he moved away from the shelf that was now hers to one of his. "It has a happy ending, if you're worried about that."
"So you won't tell me," she half joked and half lamented. But she watched as he searched through the other books.
"Ah!" he pulled it from the shelf, careful with its delicate but well kept spine. He grasped it with both hands as he held it out for her, "it's a love story."
Thena accepted the book from him, letting their fingers brush together again. Her eyes looked down at the cover as her pale skin took on a little colour, "oh?"
"Yeah," he pulled away, returning to being sheepish about it. "It's kinda cheesy, I guess. But it really is a good book. And I think maybe you'll like it."
She pulled the book closer to herself, smiling at him shyly as her eyes darted between him and the pages. "Thank you, Gil."
Heat rose in his cheeks as well and he looked towards the entrance of the library, just to occupy his eyes. "Yeah, I mean no problem, keep it for as long as y-"
A foreign object, soft and warm, collided with his cheek as he was looking to the side. He looked forward again, just catching Thena leaning away and off of her toes and back onto the slight heel of her shoes.
He wasn't sure if his heart was pounding like a hummingbird's wings or if it had stopped completely. But he just stared at her.
She arranged her braid around the book she was holding more preciously than Theseus. But her smile was almost like a little bit of a smirk, and it suited her. "I shall let you know when I've learned of this ending you're keeping so secret."
Gil immediately thought of the story events, and his aunt's favourite section. He could remember the tears in her eyes as she would read the part of the man desperately confessing his love and learning that the woman wanted to see the world with him instead of going back to her little home all alone. He could remember her voice cracking when she read how the man asked the lonely woman to marry him.
But that would be crazy to think about in relation to a girl he had only met a few months ago, he told himself (very firmly).
He grinned, drawn to her as she bounded back to her other piles of books, still waiting to be shelved in their little home here in his family house. "Hey, I can't spoil it. You have to experience it for yourself."
"I think you're just a tease," she stated with a faint purse in her lips.
Maybe he was, but he just couldn't resist when it came to her.
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The Bastards of Waters
a/n: this is inspired by a fic called watch the world burn by mylordstrong on ao3:)
Summary: Lucerys is bastardized by a king Aemond Targaryen to become Lucerys Waters, who births him bastard sons. Those sons are forced to journey to the Red Keep, away from their beloved mother and homely manse after the King demands them brought to him, as his Stag Queen has only ever birthed him girls in their 15 years of marriage. Luke, humiliated and angry, warns and prepares his children of the dangers they’ll be facing once they step foot within their hateful father’s castle.
a/n 2: uh, luke’s in his “alicent era with a hint of rhaenyra losing her mind era” is all I’m saying for this :)
•._•._•._•._•
•._•._•._•._•
“Keep your brothers in line, Daemon, never let them out of your sight, never let them be alone with anyone in the Keep,” Luke whispers to his eldest, as he clutches the teen’s face harshly. It was the first time Daemon had ever felt pain in his mother’s hold - it was always soft, warm and maternal. He couldn’t blame his faultless mother, he was worried for his children going into unknown and hostile territory after all.
Daemon’s hands shot up to grip his loving mother’s fingers gently, prying them from his face to hold within his own, “I will ensure my brothers never know pain in the Keep, and I promise they’ll be safe and protected as long as I’m still around, mother.”
He can feel his kind mother’s hands shaking, as his eyes stared back into his soft mother’s dark milky hues.
“…All right, I’ll be holding you to that promise,” Luke rasps out, as he frees himself from his son’s tight grip. He cups Daemon’s cheeks, gently this time, with enough warmth he could see his son physically melt in his palms. “Bring you brothers here, I need you all here to tell you of what to expect in that viper’s den.”
“Yes, mother.”
._._._._._.
After getting his brothers into the manse’s main room, all sitting on the sofa, Luke rants and warns his sons of the Red Keep’s dangers.
“You mustn’t be alone nor trust anyone in the Keep, everyone there’s no better than the people in Flea Bottom. They lie, kill, cheat, steal and brag - they will cause you harm and death and suffering. Trusting a person in the Keep, and being vulnerable with any of them is a death sentence in that wretched place,” he starts, pacing back and forth while biting his nails red. “You mustn’t make any mistake, if you do, they will pounce on you for it, humiliate you for it - be as perfect as you can be, and watch and protect each other’s backs. The only ones you can trust in the Keep are yourselves and each other, never forget that.”
Luke can see the fear and hate erupting in the eyes of his children. “Good,” he thought, “that hatred and fear shall keep them alive and protected within the Cursed King’s grasp.”
He knows what he’s doing is wrong, that installing more hate and fear to fester within his own sons might lead to drastic consequences, but he couldn’t careless.
He birthed his sons alone, he taught his sons alone, he entertained his sons alone, he raised his sons alone. If anyone had any problems with how he raised them, full of nothing but spiteful, bitter and frightful contempt for nearly everyone in Westeros - then they should’ve never left him alone to raise his own children as he sees fit.
Luke was quite glad. While he had few friends and loyal followers, he still had allies he knew he could trust.
The many former gold cloaks loyal to his step-father, Daemon Targaryen, trained his sons and vowed to protect both Luke and them - and to join their rebellion when the time comes to fruition. Two of his mother’s handmaidens, who were there for all of her births - and her death - had vowed to ardently stay beside Luke for when the Greens fall, and he or one of his sons takes the throne.
The White Worm - Lady Mysaria - and the whores of Westeros, whom never achieved the peace and equality they were promised by the Black Queen as a result of her death from the traitorous Greens. Nettles, whom seeks revenge for the death of Daemon Targaryen, vows to see the dragon Vhagar and her rider fall in disgrace and dishonor.
Rhaena and Baela, whom quietly gathered allies within the Free Cities, and raised Morning in secrecy away from prying eyes and ears. And the Starks and Arryns, disgraced Houses for their loyalty to the true Queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen, had vowed to see and support Lucerys Waters, the last living son of the rightful heir, sit on the Iron Throne - even if their devotion and fealty were done in secret codes and whispers.
Luke sighs as he halts his rants. Cupping his hands together, he raises them to his face to cover his vicious expression from his beloved sons. Turning his eyes to them, he gently brings his children together, and grips the hands of his youngest, staring in the eyes of all his sons. He finally lets out a final warning in a pale and muted voice; “When the King’s stag wife births the son of the blood of the dragon that he wants, flee as fast and as far away as you can - He will not hesitate to kill all of you, and he will not hesitate to kill me, your mother, either. That man is our family’s ruin and cause of suffering. Do you understand, my loves?”
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