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cleo-fox · 9 months

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Close Quarters

Part 1 of 2

Summary: “You don’t have to like it,” says Fury, “you just have to do your job.”

Your job, as it turns out, is to go undercover at a luxury resort.

The only problem? Your fake husband is Loki Laufeyson—the infuriatingly handsome Norse god turned Avenger who delights in making you flustered. What could go wrong?

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+ (Minors DNI), dirty talk, praise kink, fingering, elevator sex, semi-public sex, multiple orgasms, a hint of dom/sub, Dom Loki.

A/N: there will be a part 2. Also have a handful of related one shot ideas, so if people like this, I may post those. This is also posted on AO3.

Your self-sufficiency has always been a point of pride for you, both personally and professionally. The highlight of your career was overhearing Nick Fury say that he didn’t need to send in a team of people for a mission so long as he had you on the payroll. You are calm, competent, and ruthlessly efficient; you are used to relying only on yourself.

So it comes as something of a surprise when Fury informs you that Loki Laufeyson will not only be accompanying you on this undercover mission, but will also be taking the lead.

It takes a lot to render you speechless these days, but this does it. You gape at Fury for a moment before you’re able to speak.

“You never send me in with anyone,” you say.

“This mission requires a unique skillset.”

You scoff. “He can’t do anything that I can’t.”

Fury raises an eyebrow and folds his arms across his chest. “Really? How’s your conversational Sokovian?”

There’s, of course, no argument to be made with this. Your lips press into a thin, hard line. “I still don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it,” says Fury, “you just have to do your job.”

Your job, as it turns out, is to play the part of Nina Pine.

Nina Pine is bubbly and vivacious, the sort of person you’d see in the society pages. She wears designer clothes and owns jewelry that is so ostentatious and expensive that it looks like it must be fake. She is not particularly bright or talented; she is the product of good luck and generational wealth.

Three weeks ago, Nina married Jonathan Pine, who she met six months ago at the home of a mutual friend. Jonathan does something in finance that sounds like it’s just a tarted up version of gambling, but with more complicated rules and less oversight. It is Jonathan’s higher tolerance for risk (and healthy trust fund assets) that has him considering an investment in KorolCo, a company owned by Ivan Litvinchuk. Litvinchuk uses KorolCo as a front to launder money from illegal arms deals.

Loki would be going undercover as Jonathan. Your new husband.

You are not particularly happy about this little detail (a detail that Fury mysteriously failed to mention when you met with him), in no small part because Loki has already started leveraging it to annoy the shit out of you.

“How are you already this annoying when we’re still in prep?” you say after a particularly exasperating meeting.

“I’m simply overcome by my love for you,” says Loki with a cloying faux sincerity that makes you yearn for the sweet release of death.

Fury, you note, is suspiciously unavailable during all of this. After ignoring three of your (admittedly lengthy) emails on the subject, he sends you a frustratingly short reply:

Do your job, Agent.

Maybe you’ll take up meditation.

If there’s a bright side to what appears to be a massive clusterfuck in the making, it’s that you’ll at least get a free vacation of sorts

The mission will be taking place at The Indigo, an absurdly expensive and exclusive hotel on a private beach not far from La Jolla Cove. The Indigo is the sort of place that you’d only read about—the kind of hyper exclusive resort that is only ever mentioned in damning Pro Publica reports about the questionable actions of high ranking public officials. Rooms start at fifty thousand a night and you are staying in one of the suites, which likely costs more. Your room information was included in your briefing materials and it all sounds too good to be true: a soaking tub and waterfall shower. Private terrace with an infinity pool. Private bar. In-suite chef and spa services by appointment. Ocean view.

One Norse god who delights in irritating you (non-negotiable).

You suppose you’ll try and make the best of it.

The first problem is your sleeping arrangements: there’s only one bed. Granted, it’s a big bed, but still—it suggests a level of intimacy that you had not thought about and are not at all prepared for.

“Well, Agent, this isn’t how I envisioned taking you to my bed, but I suppose it’ll have to do,” says Loki on your first evening there.

You chuck a pillow at him, which he easily dodges.

“Keep it up and you can magic yourself a pillow and sleeping bag and sleep in the hall,” you say.

“Even if that were an appropriate accommodation for someone of my rank and title, I rather think it would do some damage to our cover.”

He has a point and you don’t like it. You decide to ignore him and start getting ready for bed.

The pajamas that had been packed for you are a little fancier than what you’re used to—satin and lace instead of cotton tees and shorts. Normally, you’d relish the opportunity to feel a little fancy—it’s an unexpected indulgence, a splurge on the company dime.

But with Loki now thrown into the equation, you are suddenly hyper aware of the fact that the fabric will likely cling to your curves, that the hem of the skirt is just a little too high. You choose the most demure one of the lot—a pale rose colored thing hemmed with lace—and head to the bathroom to change.

Even with the matching robe, you still feel a little awkward and oddly nervous. You avoid looking at Loki—if his gaze is lingering on your legs or your hips, you don’t want to know about it right before you hop into bed with him—and go about your normal routine. You manage to have a relatively normal conversation about your plan for tomorrow and you read a couple chapters of your book before you start to drift off.

It’s a king sized bed with plenty of room, but somehow you wake up perched near the edge of the bed with Loki pressed up against your back.

He’s got one arm wrapped around your waist so that you’re pinned against him and the deep, even breaths brushing against the back of your neck tell you he’s still asleep. You’re pretty sure this must have been unintentional on his part: Loki doesn’t seem like the sort to willingly allow himself to be seen seeking out human contact. It’s too vulnerable, too soft for the sharp and sarcastic veneer he presents to the world.

He shifts slightly in his sleep, his grip on you tightening. Something hard pokes against the curve of your ass.

You can’t help the responding ache between your legs. You should feel embarrassed—and you do, just a little—but there’s a competing feeling of warm curiosity that makes you press your thighs together. It’s been a while and you miss being held like this. The silk of your nightgown is cool and slippery against your skin, and you feel oddly restless and alert despite the early hour.

You should put a stop to this—that is the professional and sensible thing to do. So you carefully lift his arm from your waist and gently extricate yourself from his embrace. You pad to the bathroom, leaving the light off to spare your eyes.

In the bathroom, you run the tap as cold as it will go. You cup your hands and drink before splashing some water on your face in an effort to quell the restless heat building between your thighs.

It doesn’t really work. You’re not entirely surprised—if you were by yourself, you would simply take care of it, but that’s obviously not an option now. Out of curiosity, you slip your fingers between your thighs to assess the state of things and you immediately regret it: you’re soaked and just the feeling of your index finger glancing against your clit is enough to undo the admittedly minimal effect of the cold water.

You splash your face again and shut off the tap, taking a few deep breaths and smoothing your hands against your hair.

You exit the bathroom and slide back into bed. Loki reaches for you in his sleep and you are only half surprised when you let him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you to him. The throbbing ache between your thighs intensifies and before you can think about it, your back is arching and your breath is hitching.

He pulls you closer and suddenly his breath is warm on your ear. “You know, if you wanted me, all you had to do was ask,” he says, his voice deep and smooth, only a little husky with sleep.

“This is a bad idea,” you say, even as your back arches again and you press yourself against him.

Lips press against where your neck and shoulder meet. “But you want it.” His fingers toy with the hem of your nightgown. “Yes?” he asks, his voice husky against your ear.

“Yes,” you breathe.

“Agent.”

“Yes. Please.”

“Agent.”

Your eyes flutter open. Loki is standing at the foot of the bed, hair wet, and wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“It’s eight o’clock,” he says. “You need to shower and dress if we’re to make it to breakfast on time.”

It takes you a moment to process this information. Partly because he just woke you up from a sex dream about him and partly because wearing only a towel should be fucking illegal when you look like that. You try to keep your eyes trained on his and not let them drift to his flat stomach where you can see a faint smattering of chest hair that gathers in a line that trails directly to his cock. And definitely not to any of the muscles that are on tantalizing display and dotted by drops of water that are begging to be licked away. Nope. Not looking at any of that. Just at his devastatingly handsome face.

Fuck.

“Agent?”

You shake your head. “Sorry. Bit groggy this morning. Finish up what you were doing and I’ll go jump in the shower.”

He gives you a bit of an odd look, but mercifully walks away without further comment.

This gives you an opportunity to stare at his broad back as he walks away. Goddammit, even his ass looks good in that towel.

Fuck.

You have a feeling this is going to be a long week.

It’s only day one and it’s becoming clear to you that you are not really prepared for some of the practicalities of being Loki’s wife.

Specifically: being the primary focus of his flirtations and little gestures of affection. His hand on the small of your back, his fingers lacing with yours, the brush of his lips against the back of your hand or the shell of your ear—it’s all a little overwhelming in a way you don’t expect. It was one thing when he was razzing you in your prep meetings—he was quite clearly doing it to be irritating. But at The Indigo, he has to appear sincere for your cover and that particular detail makes it a different beast entirely.

The fact that both his regular appearance and the blond-haired, blue-eyed glamor he’s adopted for the mission are both devastatingly handsome certainly doesn’t help. Nor does the additional baggage of your sex dream this morning.

Unfortunately for you, Loki quickly ascertains that he now has a great and novel way to fluster you. Equally unfortunate is the fact that he seems to find this as hilarious as he did back in prep meetings, which prompts him to be only more outlandish.

“Are you trying to sabotage this?” It’s later that afternoon and you’ve gone down to the pool with the plan of schmoozing with Litvinchuk and his associates. Loki has clearly decided that this needs to be more difficult than it is and has fully committed to the bit, as they say.

(You’ve also gotten very good at whispering threats under your breath and making it look like you’re flirting; the timing of this is not a coincidence).

“I don’t know why you’re so distraught about sunscreen,” says Loki, rubbing a generous amount between his palms.

“It’s not the sunscreen, it’s that you’re going to find some way to be inappropriate about it.”

“I’d never.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“You wound me.” He places his hands on your shoulders and begins rubbing in the sunscreen, going much slower than you think is strictly necessary. “Perhaps this trip is merely bringing out our natural chemistry.”

“You wish.”

“Is it the hair that does it for you, Mrs. Pine? Do you have a particular fondness for blonds?”

“Do you have a fondness for being murdered in broad daylight? Because that’s the fate you’re headed towards, buster.”

He tuts at you as his hands slide to the small of your back. “Temper, temper. You really need to work on that.”

“Have you considered working on not annoying the ever-loving shit out of me?”

His breath is suddenly warm against your ear. “Now where’s the fun in that? And before you answer, be advised that Tarasevich is looking right at us.”

Fuck. Tarasevich is the most suspicious and paranoid of the lot—years in the Sokovian mafia paired with recreational drug use will do that to a guy. You turn so that you’re facing Loki. He looks at you fondly, looking for all the world like a loved up newlywed just smitten with his new wife.

“One of these days, I’m going to drop kick you into the motherfucking sun,” you say in the sweetest voice that you can muster.

“Now, now, Mrs. Pine, let’s keep the foreplay in the bedroom.” He rests his forehead against yours, reaching up to stroke your cheek. “There’s such a thing as public indecency laws, you know.”

You sigh heavily. “Why are you like this?”

“Oh, because it’s so much fun.”

“Is he still looking?”

“Yes and I’m going to kiss you to put him off, so do try to contain yourself.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll manage.”

You catch a flicker of a smile before he leans in and brushes his lips against yours. You intend for this to be brief, but his mouth is so warm and inviting and before you know it, he’s gently coaxing your lips open and leading your tongue in a slow and seductive caress that has your mind drifting straight to the gutter.

His hand slides to your thigh and you can’t bring yourself to be mad about it.

“Ah, Pine. Mixing business and pleasure, I see.”

You pull back from Loki to find Ivan Litvinchuk standing in front of you, wearing the smug, congratulatory smirk that you often see men like him trading with one another when they think they’re getting somewhere with a woman.

“Normally I try not to, but I’ve found it rather impossible these last three weeks, haven’t I, darling?” Loki takes the opportunity to loop his arms around your waist and pull you into his lap, nuzzling your neck.

You give a good natured laugh. “You’re insatiable.”

“Oh, I don’t think anyone would fault me when I have such a tempting little wife.”

This, paired with the squeeze of his hand on your thigh, sends an unexpected rush of heat to your cunt. Fortunately, the effects of this are quickly tempered when you notice that Litvinchuk is eyeing you rather appreciatively. The wardrobe team has really outdone themselves with your clothes, but the swimsuits they’ve sent are definitely more revealing than you are used to—today’s choice is a bikini with a split sweetheart neckline that dips a lot lower than you’d like and a fucking underwire in the top. Underwire! The bottom is no better—it’s both low rise and high cut, the perfect way to ensure that half of your ass is exposed at any given time. Even in the matching translucent cover up—which of course you’ve left on the chair that Litvinchuk is standing in front of—you feel a little more bare than you’d like, a fact that Litvinchuk seems to be appreciating, if the path of his gaze is any indication.

“You’re a lucky man, Mr. Pine,” he says, his eyes flicking briefly to your cleavage.

You expertly tamp down your disgust and smile at Litvinchuk before turning around to bat your eyes at Loki.

“You are, aren’t you?” you say, twining your arms around his neck and planting a brief, chaste kiss on his lips.

He gives you a dazzling smile that’s so sincere it makes your stomach flip. “Very much so.”

Another squeeze of your thigh, more heat to your cunt. Fuck.

“Well, Pine, when you are ready to discuss more business—” Here he switches to Sokovian.

This is the part you dislike the most about this particular mission: whenever anything of substance comes up, Litvinchuk and his cronies immediately switch to Sokovian, leaving you in the dark.

To add insult to injury, Litvinchuk still seems infatuated by your cleavage.

Litvinchuk says goodbye a few minutes later and you manage to bite your tongue until he’s out of earshot.

“I really don’t love the fact that he spent half of that conversation sneaking looks at my boobs,” you say quietly.

“Well, to be fair, they do look spectacular,” says Loki. “I’ll have to send a thank you note to the wardrobe team for that.”

Heat stirs hopefully and unhelpfully in your hips at that comment.

“This is what I meant by being inappropriate, you know. Did he have anything interesting to say?”

“He’s invited me to a game of cards this afternoon.”

“Do you need me for that? I could go try and talk to the wives, see what I can find out.”

“Originally, I’d thought no, but since dear Ivan seems so enamored of your assets, it might not be a bad idea to have you come along.”

You sigh. “How am I now at the point in my life where letting an illegal arms dealer stare at my tits is a fucking mission objective?”

Loki laughs quietly. “We’ll keep that out of the final report.”

The card game ends up being a lot worse than you thought it would be. And not because of Litvinchuk’s wandering eyes.

They’ve set up the game on the pool deck tables and chairs. As best as you can tell, it’s a Sokovian twist on a combination of rummy and poker. You’re not the only woman at the table: a few of the other men have their girlfriends or mistresses draped over them like strange human scarves, though their roles seem to be largely decorative.

Loki makes a big show of pulling you into his lap, saying how he just can’t bear to be apart from his new wife for terribly long.

“Ah, young love,” says Mikhnevich. “I remember when my Irina and I were like this.”

“Now she begs for him to leave the house!” says Litvinchuk. There’s a hearty round of laughter—it’s not a particularly funny joke, but you suppose that’s one of the benefits of moving up in the world of crime: people will laugh at your jokes because they’re afraid you’ll kidnap their families or something. It’s all very dysfunctional.

Loki makes an effort to teach you the game, but Nina is not the sort who pays very close attention to that kind of thing, so you find yourself giggling and letting him steal kisses or whisper in your ear as he explains some strategy or another.

There are several problems with this arrangement. The first is that you are positioned on his lap in such a way that you can feel his cock nudging your ass or your thigh, depending on how he’s sitting. And it’s close enough proximity for you to ascertain that he is long, thick, and semi-erect.

The second problem is his thigh; specifically, how it presses against your cunt, how every time Loki leans forward to draw a card, he inadvertently rocks you against the firm muscle. Each time, it feels better than the last; each time, you clench and ache and talk yourself out of riding his thigh until you have a screaming orgasm right on the pool deck. Each time, the idea becomes more and more tempting.

The third problem is his hands. Specifically, where and how they are wandering. He plays it off like it’s unintentional, like he’s just absently fidgeting with the part of your suit that lays against your hip or idly drawing lazy circles on your thigh. You can’t help but think that it must be calculated. He’s spent the last twenty-four hours intentionally trying to drive you crazy–there’s no way that he would pass up an opportunity to play his little games without you scolding him or rolling your eyes.

The fourth problem is that the first three problems are turning you on a lot.

Your clit seems to swell with every pass of his fingertips on your bare skin, no matter how casual. It drags against the slick material of your swimsuit every time you shift on Loki’s muscular thigh. You can feel yourself growing slicker and slicker with every moment. Eventually, it becomes too much and you try to shift in his lap, crossing your legs to give yourself a little relief.

This does exactly nothing useful. Instead, your movement causes his cock to twitch against you, which only escalates your growing arousal. He hooks the elastic of your suit at your hip onto his thumb and pulls, letting it snap back against your skin. His expression is playful when you look up at him, but there’s a fire in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

You are throbbing, your cunt practically weeping with slickness. And you’re pretty sure he knows.

And you’re pretty sure you don’t mind.

You lick your lips.

He hooks his thumb back into your suit at the hip, and this time he leaves it there, his fingers splayed along the curve of your hip. It’s casually possessive and ridiculously hot and the polar opposite of helpful.

He definitely knows.

Your heart is pounding. Can you go into cardiac arrest from being too turned on? You wish you could use Google. At a minimum, some sort of visual equivalent of a cold shower would be helpful. Pictures of Henry Kissinger or something. Budget reports. Taxes. Anything to get your mind off your aching cunt and the mess that you’re making in your swimsuit.

“I think you could do with a bit of a lie down, Mrs. Pine.” Loki's voice is low in your ear. “You seem…warm.”

You would have thought that Loki knowing about your current state of arousal would be cause for humiliation, if not irritation. Instead, it only seems to add fuel to the fire, especially with the way he’s talking to you. You’re not sure how he’s doing this, but it feels like his fucking voice is vibrating in the cradle of your hips, sending a fresh wave of slick arousal to your dripping cunt.

“Yeah,” you say. “Very warm.”

It’s perhaps a testament to your current state of mind that you can only manage this sentence and not some smart remark.

“Would you like my help with that, darling?” he asks. The phrasing is innocent, but the question is loaded. And sincere. You take in a shaky breath. You know all the reasons why this is a bad idea, but you also can’t bring yourself to say no. He may be wildly irritating, but you suspect he’s likely a good fuck…and you really need to be fucked.

You nod. “Yeah…I’d like that.”

“We’ll go up to the room after this game ends,” he says. “And then I’ll take very good care of you.”

It takes everything in you not to whine. Fuck. You didn’t think it was possible to be this wet, this turned on.

Loki shifts slightly, pulling you close against him, his cock now fully erect and pressing hard and thick against your ass.

“Do you feel me?” he asks, his lips grazing your ear. “Do you feel what you’ve done?”

You nod and wiggle your hips slightly, partly to situate yourself and partly because you want a little bit of payback. His grip on your hip tightens.

“I’d advise you not to play games, little wife,” he rasps in your ear.

More heat builds in your hips. You can’t remember the last time you were this turned on. Maybe never. You throw a look at Loki over your shoulder. “It’s not a game,” you say. “I’m just very warm.”

His eyes are dark. “Burning up, I suspect.”

“You have no idea.” You lean back against him, turning so you can nuzzle your face against his neck. God, he smelled good. “Please,” You say it so quietly that only he can hear, “I’m aching.”

He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and you feel his cock throb. He clears his throat. “Gentlemen, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take my leave a little early—Mrs. Pine is feeling quite unwell.”

Fuck yes.

If Litvinchuk and his men suspect there’s anything untoward about your departure, they don’t say so—and you imagine you must look a little unsteady anyway. Loki slides an arm around your waist as you leave.

“Now Mrs. Pine,” he says once you’re out of earshot, “tell me exactly what ails you.”

You let out a shaky sigh. “Are you seriously going to do this?”

“I only want to ensure that we are on the same page,” he says with a smirk.

“Like hell you do. I already told you, you just want to hear—” You cut yourself off, realizing that you’re playing right into his hands.

He smiles like a cat with a bowl full of cream. “What do I want to hear, darling?”

You press your lips together. This is infuriating.

“I’m waiting…”

You blow out a shaky breath. Fuck it. “You just want to hear me say that I’m fucking soaked because you’ve been rubbing me against your thighs and touching me for the last two hours and if I don’t come soon, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.”

He smirks as you approach the hotel lobby. “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting to hear you say all that.”

“You absolutely were.”

The air conditioned air in the hotel lobby feels extra icy against your sunwarmed skin and your sandals seem to clack particularly loudly against the marble floors.

“You have a smart mouth, do you know that?”

“You like it,” you say as you approach the bank of elevators. “That’s the reason why you pull half of this shit with me.”

“Perhaps.” He gives you a smile that feels a little dangerous and sends even more heat to your aching cunt. “But do you know what my favorite part of your smart mouth is, Mrs. Pine?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

The elevator door opens. It’s empty and your cunt clenches at the possibilities this presents.

“My favorite part about your smart mouth,” says Loki in a low voice as you step into the elevator, “is that it will sound that much sweeter when I make you beg for me.”

The elevator door slides closed and you barely have a chance to react before he’s backing you up against the wall and pressing his thigh between your legs.

“You’re a disobedient, wicked tease, Mrs. Pine,” he growls, sending a thrill through you. “I think you could benefit from a firm hand.”

“You like it,” you breathe, rocking your hips against his thigh, trying to capture some of the same friction that was driving you wild earlier.

“Rutting yourself against my thigh in public like a common slut,” he purrs. “You must be desperate.” He slides a hand between your legs, slipping his fingers under your bathing suit. His expression changes the moment his fingers dip past the fabric—almost like he expected you to be wet, but not this wet.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he purrs as you keen. “You’ve made a mess of yourself, haven’t you?”

“I need to come so bad,” you gasp.

“I know you do.” He reaches over and slams the emergency stop button and the elevator shudders to a halt. “And you’re going to. Right now.”

“I can wait until we get to the ro—”

He spins you around and pulls you to him so your back is pressed against his chest.

“No, you can’t.” He curls his big frame over yours, sliding his hand back into your bathing suit and stroking the full length of your sex and making you cry out again. “You need it too badly.” He starts rubbing your clit with his middle and index fingers. “And I don’t think it’s going to take all that long, darling,” he growls, sucking your earlobe into his mouth, “because you’re already so fucking wet.”

There’s a small, distant part of you that resents the fact that he’s right about anything, let alone anything pertaining to your orgasms.

The larger part of you is focused on the fact that he’s right: you’re going to come and you’re going to come hard.

Your legs are shaking and you brace your arms against the elevator wall to hold yourself up. You moan loudly and arch your back as the feeling starts building in your hips.

“You need this so badly, don’t you?” He nips hard at your earlobe. “You’re desperate for it. I felt you tense up every time your sopping cunt rubbed against my thigh, every time I touched you just right.”

You whimper, pressure rising in your hips as you rock with his hands.

“You’re so close,” Loki purrs in your ear. His hips are thrusting mindlessly against your ass, like he can’t wait to be inside you.

“Fuck, I need to come,” you whimper.

“Oh, I’m going to make you come, darling, but I think what you really need is to be fucked.”

You moan as your orgasm starts to crest.

“You need to be fucked properly and hard,” he murmurs. “You need me to take care of your sopping wet, needy little cunt. You need to be filled to the brim with my cock and my come like the good girl that you are. You need to come over and over on my cock until you can’t take it anymore.”

This is what pushes you over the edge. The muscles of your cunt clench and then pleasure is blooming in your belly as the tension of the last two hours comes to a peak and you come hard. You cry out, your hips rocking against Loki’s hand, chasing the shimmery aftershocks.

“There she is, that’s my good girl,” he purrs. He holds you as you shudder and shake, his fingers still moving, still coaxing out those final waves of pleasure. But just when you think he’s about to pull his hand away, he starts massaging your clit again, one long finger slipping inside you.

“You don’t think you’re going to be satisfied with just one, do you?” he growls in your ear. “Not a needy girl like you, not when you’ve been dripping for hours. You need more, don’t you?”

“Oh fuck—” You can feel that pressure growing again and you know it’s going to be different this time.

“You’re going to come for me again, pretty girl,” he purrs. “And this time, I want to hear you scream.”

Everything is coiling up so tight and tense and suddenly two of his fingers are inside of you and they’re curling just right and the edges of your vision go white as everything inside you fizzes and releases and a sharp cry falls from your lips as you come.

“Good girl,” his voice rumbles low over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

His hand finally stills once the final aftershocks roll through you. Your legs are shaking, but his grip on you is still firm. Boneless, you turn to him and he presses his slick fingers past your lips. You suck and lick his fingers clean and then he’s kissing you, sucking your own essence from your lips and tongue.

“Fuck,” you breathe as the elevator shudders to life. “Fuck, that was so good.”

Loki laughs quietly and scoops you up into his arms as the elevator arrives at your floor.

“Oh, we’re nowhere near done, darling.”

Continued in Part 2

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over-the-time-flow · 9 months

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Super Robot Rollcall: The GEAR Fighters

Ginga Izumo

"The universe doesn't need no 'king'!"

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: 11 Birthday: May 5th Height: 145 cm Hobbies: Watching anime Voice Actress: Youko Mitsuoka Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

A little boy who enjoys practicing karate at his mother's dojo, playing sports, watching anime, and idol bands... until one day, through a series of convoluted events, he finds himself alongside a classmate he can't stand in the cockpit of a mysterious robot! A story as old a time.

As 11-yos often do, the two very quickly conciliate their differences and become friends.

His dad is often travelling around the world, but he doesn't really miss him, because he tends to bring the customs of wherever he last went along whenever he comes to visit, which tends to cause a lot of embarrassment for Ginga...

Compared to Hokuto, Ginga has better Melee, Defense and Skill. All around, both of them have fairly good stats, but defensively they're not so impressive.

Hokuto Kusanagi

"This isn't some sports match! We can't just say 'oh well, i lost!' and go home!!"

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: 11 Birthday: July 7th Height: 147 cm Hobbies: Watching anime, playing billiards and football, building plastic models Voice Actress: Naomi Shindou Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

A timid boy who enjoys spending time with his parents, with his computer, with plastic models, and most of all, with his beloved dog. One day, the Galfa Empire attacks his town, and in the commotion, he ends up in the cockpit of the Dendoh alongside a classmate he can't stand!

As 11-yos often do, the two very quickly conciliate their differences and become friends.

Lately, his duties as a Dendoh pilot have been getting in the way of his personal life. He's no Peter Parker, but he finds himself having less time to spend with his dad, and his mom seems so distant recently...

Compared to Ginga, Hokuto has better Ranged, Accuracy and Evasion. They're both fairly competent in terms of statline, but even though i like Hokuto more, it's kind of a fact that Ginga's a better pilot in a vaccuum. Still, you'll be shifting between them many times a stage if you're deploying them anyway.

GEAR Fighter Dendoh

Source Material: Gear Fighter Dendoh Height: 24.5 meters Power Source: double a batteries 2 Hyper Dendoh Batteries Real World Designer: Jun'ichi Akutsu

A mysterious robot that can only be controlled when both Gear Commanders (in essence, control units) light up, which only happens when Dendoh itself judges the pilots to be worthy. The Gear Commanders allow the pilots to catch "Data Weapons", large bioelectrical cryptids who become weapons for the Dendoh, powering it up.

In other words, it's the closest SRW will ever have to a "summoner" type character, which (combined with how great the show is) really endears me to this thing.

We get the Dendoh with the Unicorn Drill already acquired, and shifting to it will swap the pilot to Hokuto. Unicorn Drill grants us Fire Wall, a decent barrier ability, and most importantly, having a Data Weapon grants the Dendoh the ability to use the Final Attack, a move that deals more damage the more EN the Dendoh has remaining, but that will always leave it with only 10 EN remaining. As of right now, we have no way of refilling Dendoh's EN without putting it back in the ship (which will RAPIDLY drain the pilots' Will, especially in R), and all of its moves spend at least a little bit of EN, and most spend quite a bit. As such, the Dendoh is a potentially VERY powerful unit, but it requires wise utilization, and i find it to be one of the most fun and rewarding units to use in the game.

Both forms are clearly meant to be Super Robots, but have fairly unimpressive HP and Armor. Unicorn Drill's Fire Wall will prove very useful to us in the future.

Vega

"Rushing in blindly out of rage is the same as admitting defeat."

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: ??? Birthday: ??? Voice Actress: Kotono Mitsuishi Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

The mysterious second in command at GEAR HQ. She finds herself tasked with taking care of the Dendoh's young pilots, and she's quite adept at her job. She's extensively trained in CQC, and can fight beyond the limits of a normal human, demonstrating superhuman abilities at multiple points.

For whatever reason, she sometimes finds herself uncomfortable around Hokuto.

You would be excused if you thought she was a support unit, but make no mistake, Vega is a real robot pilot geared to be dealing damage through and through. Her stats are all quite decent, and her Spirit learnset does not disappoint either.

Valkyrie

Source Material: Gear Fighter Dendoh Real World Designer: Jun'ichi Akutsu

Vega's specialized combat bike. It's loaded with missiles and various lightweight CQC weapons that make use of Vega's fantastical skillset. So long as they're on the ground, Vega can stand up even against Mobile Suits, Mechabeasts and the like.

It can also hover above water, although "hover" may be an incorrect way of putting it; rather, it's capable of driving atop water.

It's no powerhouse, but this thing can actually put in some work. It's nigh impossible to hit (especially with upgrades to its Mobility), and while it'll never hit quite as hard as a dedicated combat unit, it can hit hard enough thanks to Vega's stats.

The true draw of this thing, however, is that it shares upgrades 1 to 1 with another unit we'll get much later, and that other unit can be piloted by other characters. If you really want to, you can pump upgrades into this machine and get two competent machines to decently upgraded levels for the cost of one.

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flickeringart · 3 years

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Scorpio Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals – the signs show how these energies express themselves.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Scorpio gives the personality an edge and emotional intensity. No matter what other placements the person has, the subtle stinger is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-actualization.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and needs.

Scorpio Sun – Libra Moon

Even if a Libra Moon suggests an out-going, graceful and social character, the ideal self is cunning, shrewd, suspicious, on the lookout to uncover people’s real motives. Scorpio Sun expresses through subtle attack. Irritability and poisonous moods would be easily triggered, which would compel others to keep at a safe distance – or keep them on their side. Scorpio Sun is prone to hold grudges, to test people emotionally. This placement indicates a need to intimidate with their presence, to let the world know that they are not afraid to strike back at any violation. A Libra Moon in combination with this Sun would do it in a way that is appropriate in the social context they find themselves in - and in a way that will increase their social esteem. Recruiting allies by the use of sweet words and smooth reasoning, the person guarantees emotional safety and closeness with others. Social harmony is the number one emotional need for a Libra Moon, they need others in their lives to complement them, to be fair and respectful. Scorpio Sun would facilitate this need by being on the lookout for betrayal or disharmony. There could be biting corrections of others and a whole array of defense mechanisms to be employed in the name of protecting the most refined social image and ideal. The person would likely thrive in a relationship because of Scorpio’s need to possess and merge and Libra’s need for admiration and partnership. The negatively labeled ”shallowness” of the Libra Moon would be nicely complimented Scorpio’s capacity to feel. However, the Libran emotional needs could suffer as the person’s self-expression would be quite sharp and confronting. If the person pairs up with someone who’s incapable to deal with constant probing and poking, the person might leave and the Libran ideal is crushed in the process. Expressing one’s personality versus satisfying one’s emotional needs could be a tricky balancing act.

Scorpio Sun – Capricorn Moon

Capricorn Moon needs to achieve something of material and societal value and the Scorpio Sun facilitates this through detecting threats against success. Scorpio can be described as a sign that is on hyper-surveillance mode, and when it teams up with Capricorn, it creates a resourceful and disciplined individual. The overall mood of this combo is very serious and somber, the person would operate from a place of compensation. The Capricorn Moon is restrictive of emotions and can’t generate genuine lightness by itself – it needs to compensate through working toward a societally approved goal and get confirmation on a structural level of their worthiness. High ambitions are necessary for their emotional fulfillment. Strategizing and planning, taking precautions and never letting anyone come too close would be characteristic of this combo. Scorpio Sun makes sure that other’s don’t take advantage or try to subtly sabotage their plans. The person would likely have the feeling of already being innately deprived and separated from bliss and so the only way is out of hell. This makes the person more resilient and capable of facing hard realities but it makes the person more prone to depression and pessimism as well. If there’s a charming and radiant Rising placement like Leo, the personality might seem warmer and more content than if the Rising sign falls in a more practical sign like Virgo. None the less, the Cap Moon will be insecure and prone to emotionally protect by condemning and judging, to over-compensate in terms of constant striving. Scorpio Sun could easily serve as the emotional bully, to mercilessly make themselves feel better through undermining and pacifying others through cleverly poking at the sore spots. There’s a lot of coping that goes on within this person, but that is not to say that it won’t have it’s rewards. The person might feel emotionally castrated with a Cap Moon, have a hard time displaying affection and fondness while Scorpio Sun is very passionate and dramatic in terms of self-expression.

Scorpio Sun – Cancer Moon

With a double water combo the personality is bound to be very emotional. While the needs and instincts of the Cancer Moon is more gentle and careful when navigating life, the self-expression of the Scorpio Sun is out on the emotional battlefield – strong in their passions and desires. The person might love to test the emotional impact they can have on another person and what makes their targets vulnerable to manipulation. However, the strong ego of the Scorpio Sun might have to take into consideration and work with the Cancerian need to make sure everything is sorted as to ensure that one has a safe space of gentleness and escape from the intensity of life. The need to bolster the emotions from too much challenge and harshness in characteristic of a Cancer Moon. The person needs to feel nurtured and taken care of, preferably by a close circle of friends or a family unit. Cancer might soften the sharpness of Scorpio and make the person more approachable and more easy to confide in. However, if there’s an insult to the person’s identity, they might retaliate without a second thought. Emotionally, however, the person is not prone to feel all-consuming rage, and would much rather show sympathy and understanding while staying out of harm’s way. If insulted or treated unfairly, water signs usually don’t forget and will not overlook any attack, however subtle. This combo would lend itself well to forming relationships although the Cancerian need for safety could cause the Scorpio Sun to be overly protective and distant at first. The person would embody both intensity and softness, and would seek emotional interaction with others in life – but perhaps at a safe distance at first. There’s loyalty, protectiveness as well as sensitivity to be found in a relationship with this kind of person but a whole lot of moodiness and drama as well.

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Scorpio Sun – Aries Moon

This combo is an interesting one. The person’s emotional and instinctual needs are to assert, to compete, to do things quickly, to be a leader, to feel independent and potent. The identity is emotional and strategic and needs to engage with others as to demonstrate power through emotional impact. This personality is very sharp indeed and runs on energy and hyper–vigilance that is beyond what one would think possible. A placement like a Taurus Rising or some other stabilizing earthy influence might take down the voltage of the personality a notch. Never the less, it’s still a bit like the person is on speed, not only energetically, but emotionally. Privacy would be valued as a general rule, but the instinctual impulse would be to just share things and not care. Aries is an extremely individualistic sign. When the Moon is here, the instincts become impulsive and rash, stemming from the desire to carry out intention without compromising. The Scorpionic ego might not be fond of this tendency as it leans toward strategic moves that is guaranteed to fulfill their purpose. Scorpio Sun is a personal expression that is careful and controlled because of the capacity for emotional intensity in relation to other people. The Aries Moon doesn’t have any other need that acting on it’s urges, it’s not particularly cautious or socially adapted. ”Me first” is the need of an Aries Moon. The person would be prone to see obstacles and threats to their will and be willing to go above and beyond to further themselves in the face of limitation and restriction. On a positive note, the energy and investment that can be put into themselves and their relationships are remarkable. There’s a lot of passion to this type of personality, a fighting spirit that is inexhaustible and a personality that is out to demonstrate it’s power.

Scorpio Sun – Aquarius Moon

This combo creates a personality that can be cool and detached from mundane existence while being very protective of their integrity and power. The Aquarius Moon with the Scorpio personality gives the person a jerky temperament that is sometimes perfectly detached and chill with everything but can switch on a dime and become defensive and biting. There person would be a bit of a loner – partly because of having high ideals, a fondness for freedom and a tendency to remain above the actual meat of human existence. It would also be because the person’s self-expression is guarded and defensive, a bit mean and threatening to others. In many ways, this personality setup presents a bit of a paradox, because on an emotional level the person stays above the battle ground, while the ego is sensitive to critique and attack. The person might be able to have intellectual closeness with others but is not instinctually suited for the more clingy, merging relationships. The Scorpionic identity on the other hand loves a good emotional confrontation and being viewed as mysterious and intimidating. Even though there’s certainly friction between the two signs, there’s also a possibility of understanding human nature in the broadest and the deepest sense. These signs combined gives the character an emotional intensity with an intellectual and original instinctual nature. The emotional needs are not concrete but abstract – just being shown understanding and recognition could satisfy the person. The basic instinct is to be reasonable, but the Scorpio tendency to be touchy could earn the person a reputation of being bad-tempered and mean. The core of the person is none the less more idealistic and cerebral than emotional.

Scorpio Sun – Taurus Moon

These signs is in opposition and are both at odds with each other and complementary. Both signs want control – Scorpio in terms of emotions and Taurus in terms of material value. Taurus Moon indicates a stable and stubborn temperament with a need for physical comfort and pleasure. The person would be emotionally satisfied through creating concrete and fixed foundations, which could be applied to relationships, work situation or any dimension of life. The person would be inclined to commit to permanent situations and dedicate themselves long-term to whatever endeavor they feel is meaningful. With a Scorpionic identity to top it off, the person would be very protective and possessive of belongings – which includes relationships. The person might have little tolerance for any kind of change in the structure of their life – reacting to the slightest fluctuation as if it was a life and death situation. Also, the intensity of Scorpio paired with the stubbornness of Taurus would make the person difficult to sway – opinions could be fixed and defended just because of pride. A mutable Ascendant might make the person more flexible, but when it comes down to it, they would probably just use the flexibility to get their own needs met. The sharpness and the volatile expression of the Scorpio Sun would be soothed a bit by the Taurus Moon. The need for things to remain the same on a physical level could however be thwarted by ego’s expression of living dangerously. The self-expression of intensity directly oppose the stable serenity of a Taurus Moon. The overall personality is aware that it is the unconscious psychological dimension that run the show and might seek to manipulate others into benefitting their material situation. Scorpios are excellent at getting down to the very core of things and Taurus has great stamina.

Scorpio Sun – Scorpio Moon

The characteristics of Scorpio applies to the identity and the emotions with both the luminaries in the same sign. The self-expression is domineering, piercing, secretive and emotional. The person find that they come into their own through these qualities, and luckily (or not so luckily) find that their emotions follow along the same lines. However, a Scorpio Moon is very different from a Scorpio Sun. All the qualities that are used as an expression of the person’s ideal self, is part of the person’s instinctive and emotional nature. Emotions are extremely intense, to the point of being physically painful. This person’s need for protection, power and defense will likely exceed the limits of what is “healthy” for the individual. The insight that there’s no where to go but through the ”fire” is not easy to deal with. Paranoia and spontaneous attacks could be directed outwardly as the person is very sensitive to any kind of violation of the emotional system. ”Everyone is out to get me” would be the experience more or less, or rather ”everything is out to get me”. Even people close to them could get a healthy dose of retaliation for something they didn’t mean to cause. No one is merely a friend – friends are enemies and enemies are friends. This realization is torture for Scorpios, they like everything to be black and white – but it’s never the case There’s no blind trust that is given from a person with these placements. Scorpios are very good at detecting the undercurrents within relationships and is usually right to react when they do. If they can’t detect a threat, there usually is none. If they detect guardedness and subtle undertones of resentment they will not tolerate it, and try to provoke an overt reaction as to reveal the person’s true nature. They would not be ones to hand out any ammunition that can be used against them later. This combo in particular will have no problem with danger and extremes – because they live on the edge between life and death anyway. Coping in crises is probably their greatest trump card – even though it looks like they could self-destruct any minute.

Scorpio Sun – Leo Moon

This is quite a combo, a lot of pride, integrity and ego to preserve with these placement. Leo Moon needs attention and admiration, they feel the need to dramatize their lives, to make everything part of their own show – bad and the good emotional experiences. With a Scorpio ego in the mix, everything that happens around the person could be blown out of proportion. Scorpio Sun has a penchant for emotional drama and likes to stir things up when the mood hits – making people uncomfortable and demonstrating their insight into other people’s inner lives. Leo Moon’s emotions will accommodate this and add theatrical streaks, making it into a performance more or less. Leo attempts to be noble and good – and above all warm. The individual will be passionate but there will be a kind of pleasant affectionate and playful spirit to the emotional nature. The stinging Scorpionic expression will assert itself but it might not be perceived to be as dark and threatening because of the person’s innate charm. The ego fulfills itself through the impact it can make – but the instinctual nature is playful and creative. The person might experience a friction between an emotionally volatile ego and a warm and radiant temperament that wants to be in the spotlight. Scorpio doesn’t really want to be in the spotlight, it deals with the emotional underpinnings and threats of separation (which is equated with attack) and the merging that is possible between people. The Scorpio personality like to keep things more subtly intense and is not necessarily craving attention and recognition on a superficial level. Leonine emotions are dramatic and take up space but they’re never attacking, probing or penetrating. They’re a display of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, not of deep seated fear. Both signs are fixed and gives the person an ability to stand their ground without budging.

Scorpio Sun – Gemini Moon

The sharpness of Scorpio is coupled with a high strung temperament that craves mental stimulation and constant interaction with the environment. This combo makes for a really good ”detective”, with a astonishing perceptive ability of the ins and outs of the human mind. The social disposition of a Gemini Moon will be modified slightly by the careful and private Scorpio Sun, but it gives the person an air of mystique. It gives the overall personality a deepening that allows the intellect to not only be used for fun but for real meaty business. However, there would be a risk of hyper tension and a sensitive nervous system. The Gemini temperament is very alert and active while a Scorpio identity is emotionally charged. The person would be difficult to pin down and very adaptive emotionally, however, Scorpio is a fixed sign and would stick to preserving the thing they perceive themselves to be. The self-expression would be that of confrontation and stinging attack, with a cleverness and an ability to out-smart other people. This really is a deadly combination because Gemini provides a quick and slippery nature, perfect for the Scorpio ego to control and navigate social interactions and warding of uncomfortable situations. It’s also a perfect combo for carrying out manipulative strategies and acquire power. Gemini has a wicked humor, which Scorpio kind of shares, although Gemini is more easy-going and is not as dedicated and Scorpio. This could present a point of conflict, since the ego would like to be squarely in the intensity of life while Gemini would tend to want to take short-cuts and cheat just for the fun of it – not for the sake of revenge or an inner rage.

Scorpio Sun – Virgo Moon

This is also a combo that is stress-prone. The intensity of the ego expression and the active intellectual temperament that has to process everything creates a person that is constantly on edge. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing – but there’s a potential for carrying the burden of needing everything to be perfect all the time, of avoiding mistakes to the point of detriment. The Scorpionic identity doesn’t help the Virgo temperament to calm down, it adds to the paranoia of spotting attack out in the world. There’s nothing glamorous about this combination, but it’s intellectually sharp and extremely efficient and to the point (with the exception of needing to process everything, which could take time). Virgo Moons, like Gemini Moons are never mentally inactive and they are working all the time even when it doesn’t look like they do. They ponder how they can fix this and that, how they should organize their everyday routines and chores as to ensure a smooth functioning of life. With a Scorpio Sun personality, this could become an obsession. These placements would point to a reserved personality and it might be a bit straining in social situations. Smaller friend groups and less stimulation would greatly benefit this kind of person. Real conversation, relevant and productive interactions would be the person’s cup of tea. Getting ”high on life” and just having ”fun” doesn’t come naturally, the person would crave more purposeful and useful activities. Diving deep into topics of interests and having genuinely valuable exchanges with others is what gets these people going. Although Scorpio is emotionally dramatic, the Virgo is not comfortable with ”irrationality” and would process things on the inside before letting it out – if ever. There would be a tendency to critique things, to correct others with the agenda to dominate them, although it could be done in a genuine attempt to help as well. The intellectual Virgo Moon needs to use information in the name of service of themselves and others, but the Scorpio Sun needs to attack and defend.

Scorpio Sun – Pisces Moon

This is a very emotional and deep combo. The dilemma of existence is felt on a daily basis. The Pisces Moon is idealistic, romantic and forever longing to live in a blissful state permanently. Scorpio Sun seeks to wield power and interact with life passionately. The need to love and be loved is very strong, yet there’s disappointment in the world for not delivering the treasures of salvation that one hopes for. The avoidant and dissociative nature of the Piscean temperament doesn’t blend well with Scorpio’s expression of confrontation and attack. The emotional nature is not black and white, more often than not very vague and abstract. The Scorpio persona likes to be either or – in or out, committed or uncommitted. The Piscean emotional nature is fluctuating and might therefore have a hard time sticking to a path of commitment. The person might feel like they’re loosing grip on what’s important to their ideal self and might be swept away by the fluctuating environment, unable to stay consistent and solid in terms of boundaries. Never the less, the emotional richness that comes with these placements would create a very intuitive and creative person, prone to lose their grip emotionally and space out occasionally, yet having the capacity to take control and not let anybody mess with them. There’s a generosity and unconditionality to the instinctual nature but a determined and persevering ego structure that attempts to keep it in check. The person would be able to love completely and intensely and would not go for shallow interactions in the first place. The person would likely be perceived as overly sensitive – soaking up influences like a sponge and desperately trying to draw boundaries between itself and the rest of the world. It won’t work, and might lead to emotional overwhelm, destructiveness and unhealthy coping mechanisms. There’s a tendency to feel like a victim, but the Scorpio identity won’t show this in the first place. Great intuition and capacity to feel into things comes with these placements.

Scorpio Sun – Sagittarius Moon

The easy-going, sunny Sagittarian temperament would add a lightness to the denser Scorpionic ego. This could very well be a deadly combo because Sagittarius is expansive and Scorpio is extreme – combining the two could create someone who can can be evil as a way of having fun. Inappropriate, morbid jokes, casual comments that is down right mean could be common expressions. Making things happen, heading out on adventures and exploring the world would be emotionally satisfying, yet it would all be done with the goal in mind to get some grip and control over oneself and others – to get some insight into the depth of existence. The person could seek to express their dominant character through engaging in a variety of activities – preferably risky ones that pushes the limits. The casual temperament might make the person unable to commit and the person would drift from one thing to the next, seeking intensity through the multitude of experiences rather than from an isolated singular experience. On an emotional level the person would crave freedom and independence – passion is fine as long as it’s not linked to a binding commitment. The Scorpio identity expresses itself a little differently, it loves and hates completely and likes to possess things permanently. This would cause some friction within the person, making it hard to combine an innate optimism and adaptability with a fixed and determined self-expression. However, the capacity for the Sagittarius Moon to perceive their emotions as meaningful in terms of a journey of unfoldment could bring some consolation to the fixed Scorpionic ego. The path toward knowledge would be pursued with a degree of seriousness and dedication. The person would possess enough spirit and enough will to explore existential dilemmas, to uncover the truth and transform themselves. Constant movement and improvement through intensity is what this person is all about.

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kdramafeminist · 4 years

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Performative Badassery & Women in Kdramas

When I said I wrote an essay, I meant essay. This is a long one! Grab a snack and venture below the read more. I’ll see you at the end!

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You know the feeling. The drama begins. Our female main lead walks onto screen. She’s a successful businesswoman, a hotshot detective, clever lawyer, smartass retail worker, etc, etc. She stares down a random man to prove she’s the powerful one here. Or kicks some ass. Or rattles off a bunch of demands to her workers. Or talks fast to show off her intelligence.

Then she meets the male lead. There’re fireworks. Slowly we find our female lead has a softer side. Good to know. 3-dimensional and complex characters are important. It’s nice to see women on-screen who are both capable and emotional. Kick ass and feminine.

But slowly... something starts to go wrong. She seems to be crying more than showing literally any other kind of emotion. And is it just me or is she getting saved and manhandled and flustered quite a lot for a woman who we were told was so well put together? Sure, the circumstances are extreme. But they’re extreme for the male lead too and he seems to be managing just fine for some reason. Also, if both of them are ordinary people with no on-screen fighting experience, how come he’s so great at throwing fists out of nowhere and she’s busy keeping hidden or needing rescuing? Exactly how many times can one person just faint like that without anyone checking to see if she has a medical condition?

By the drama’s end our lead has gone through trials and tribulations. She’s fallen in love too, I’m happy for her. But... now that the story’s ending and she’s getting in one last chance to show us she’s a “badass”, why am I left feeling hollow? She’s showing us how tough she is but... we ALL spent this whole drama watching her have absolutely no agency or such a little amount that she might as well have been trying to put out a fire with a water-pistol. It’s almost like her previous badassery (in whatever form it may have been - I don’t mean badass only in terms of being able to throw a good punch) was just a façade. A way to hook in female viewers like me who want to see something more than a wilting wallflower or one-trick Cinderella. But the tiniest knock and the cardboard house collapses.

And no matter how many times we get throwaway lines about her being “the smartest/toughest/scariest/most capable one here” it doesn’t ring true compared to the actual character we’re watching.

Rom-coms, melos and sagueks especially (but many more genres besides), have a real problem when it comes to performative badassery in their female characters. The writers give us a female lead they claim is hyper competent, but the reality is totally different. Any plot that features romance, almost always features this. Honestly the way the start of the relationship in dramas actively MURDERS the female character’s agency could be its own essay so I won’t go deep, just know the two are 100% linked.

The “Faux Action Girl” Problem

A Faux Action Girl happens when a writer wants the popularity that comes with having a cool action girl character, or they want the praise that comes with writing a lead that breaks gender norms, or they want to be lauded for writing a FL whose more capable & progressive than the female kdrama lead we’d imagine, but they don’t end up actually giving us her. Instead we get the fake or faux version. The reasons are usually a combination of:

Relying on outdated tropes. Wrist grabs, damsels in distress, a girl fainting so she misses some vital plot related moment to increase runtime etc...

Sexist worldviews. As a by-product of being Korean which is still a heavily sexist country because of the holdover of Confucianism mixed in with the Christianity westerners brought over that leads many writers to (often without even realising) inserting moments that inadvertently reduce their female leads because they think that’s what correct or natural for the female character based on their opinion of women in general. Even if it doesn’t actually fit the type of character they’ve set out to create.

Executive meddling. Producers who think their demographic wouldn’t be able to handle a real badass but also know their female viewers want more complexity and agency in their FLs these days and so give us the paper-version instead of the 3D model.

This character’s more “badass” traits are nearly always just an Informed Ability (the writers tell us via other characters what she can do but never actually show us on-screen these same things) or we only ever see her utilise them once/twice at the beginning and maybe if we’re lucky once at the end, but never again.

It really hurts.

The “Badass Decay/Chickification” Problem

Sometimes she really is a legitimate action girl though. She’ll be a cop whose good at her job or an ordinary citizen whose well-versed in taekwondo. She has actual moments on-screen to prove herself.

Well. She has moments in episodes 1 and 2. Then she almost always goes through Badass Decay/Chickification. Which means that writers (& producers) believe that if we don’t see her having a softer side, she’ll become unrealistic or unlikeable.

They fix her. So she becomes more vulnerable. As the only girl on the team (usually), she becomes the one who ends up injured more often or needs rescuing most. Her life begins to revolve entirely around her romance and nothing else. (Meanwhile the male leads gets to have the romance and keep his side-quest - have you noticed that? If the FL is really lucky she gets to keep one side-quest too, maybe a dream job or solving some family mystery. Never more though.. only men get to be complicated here). Once she was competent... now it feels like she legitimately had a personality transplant.

Is this even the same person we began with?

The “Worf Effect” Problem

Worf Effect is when the danger/power level of a villain is shown to the audience by making him successfully attack/hurt/ruin the plans of someone that the audience knows is skilled. This isn’t a bad thing alone and writers use it all the time. We need to acknowledge the villain as a proper threat and this is a useful way to do it!

But in kdramas it’s something used almost always against the lead female character. The one we’ve seen is intelligent, or strong-willed or quick-witted.

And because it’s always her, this character begins to look weak.��If this writing trope is abused, her reputation as the "biggest, toughest" etc. begins to look like it never existed and we’re back to her having an informed ability.

That this is something that happens to the female characters not only more often but almost exclusively is a sign of sexism. Plain and simple.

Competent, Real Badass Female Characters Aren’t Scary

If you’re going to sell me a capable woman, give me her.

Not someone who has one very unique, specialised skill but otherwise can do nothing else except for that one time when her one skill is useful.

Or has built up her own empire, implying a certain level of smarts, business ability or networking skills, but then once she’s removed from it she becomes so utterly useless it begs the question how she built that empire in the first place.

Or has a rep as the detective whose taken down the toughest guys off-screen, but whatever skills she used to do that seem to disappear the moment anything really challenging happens on-screen.

I’m not saying she needs to win all the time. Of course she doesn’t, how boring is that? All I’m asking is that when she loses, it’s in keeping with the character I’m supposedly watching. A woman that can kick ass can still be outwitted. A clever woman can be physically beaten. A street-smart girl can be foiled by rules and regulations. A leader-type can be beat by someone whose more unconventional.

It’s not difficult to write someone like this. I know the writers can do it because every male lead is written this way. I’ve never once, whilst watching a badass male lead lose, get beaten and cry, thought “oh no, his badassery was fake all along!”

Because when he loses it makes sense. It’s in character. There’s a solid plot reason behind why it happens.

Meanwhile my ladies who are meant to be able to kick ass and take names somehow just got kidnapped out of nowhere?

Make it make sense!

Consistent Characterisation is Good Writing

I get wanting moments where one is injured and the other fusses over them. I love those moments! All I ask is more imagination taken to get us to that point. Make it in-character. If my taekwondo black belt is kidnapped, I want to see her really fight. I want the kidnapping to be shown as genuinely tough on the people trying to nab her. Imagine how much more satisfying it would be to see her fight off all these bad guys, yet still end up losing? How much more heart-breaking?

We’d be so much more invested in the mind games or politics the villain is playing if the female lead we’ve been told is good at that stuff is playing the game just as hard. When she loses it’ll hurt more.

Writers need to stop being afraid that her remaining capable in some way diminishes the masculinity, attractiveness, prowess or “hero” status of the male lead. Trust me. It doesn’t. Ever.

It’s not a case of either/or. We don’t think less of the male lead because his partner is as capable as him in whatever way that may be. Instead, we think more of them both. Once a romance begins, the heightened worry both characters have for each other should only make both of them stronger in whatever area they’re skill lies in. Not just make the man a sudden defence wall and the woman a worrying mess.

I’m sure everyone who reads this can immediately think of at least one drama with a FL who is a Performative Badass. I know I had about ten in mind as I wrote this.

There are exceptions. Cases where the badass gets to stay a badass. Usually these cases happen in genres without romance because like I said above, those problems are linked. But I can think of a few romcoms/sageuks/melos where it happens too.

But those are the minority.

Women in kdramas. Give them agency. Make their characterisation genuine, not just a bit-part for the sake of a cool trailer. Not just one moment someone can edit into a “badass multifemale” video edit - only for us to watch the drama from the clip and discover we’ve been sold a lie.

How satisfied would we be?

Writers! Give us a story we enjoyed because of the excellent characterisation. A new female character we can add to our lists of faves. Women who proved themselves as consistently badass as their first scenes claimed. Women in kdramas who, no matter what problem they faced, don’t become echoes or paper-thin versions of who we were promised.

Actual, complex, layered, enjoyable, KICK-ASS AND BADASS female leads.

Wouldn’t that be a miracle.

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PS. This is an open notice that it’s OKAY to reblog with added commentary/thoughts/rambles of your own. I would *love* to see it if you have anything to add.

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(Disclaimer: This essay was written with a specific female character type in mind. I am not saying every FL needs to be a badass or hyper competent. Soft, shy, physically weak female characters exist and can be just as realistic and complex. There’s a few I can think of who I adore. Instead my essay is very specifically about characters who are *meant* to be badass from the start but then... don’t end up being. So, yeah, before anyone claims I’m some angry feminist who needs every FL to be some tough martial artist or something. Absolutely not! Diversity is amazing and interesting. All I ask is that when I am told I’ll be getting a badass in a drama I get her. Not have my heart broken by the fake wilting flower I find in her place. Ok. End disclaimer. ^^)

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Also I’m tagging a bunch of you because you reblogged my post saying you wanted this so here! TY for making it to the end ^^

@kdramaxoxo @islandsofchaos @storytellergirl @vernalagnia-blog @lostindramas @salaamdreamer @planb-is-in-effect

#kdrama #kdrama discourse #kdrama feminist #women in kdrama #badass women #strong female lead #though to be clear I am an angry feminist lmfao #how does a woman living in this world not be tbh

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icharchivist · 2 years

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Who would you want to see the troupes interact with in gbf? Tbh I'd love to see Misumi meeting quite literally anyone bc honestly I love how he takes everything in stride. I would kill to see winter troupe talk about the mysteries like "yeah haha we got stuck in a timeloop for like a week because of a doll" ACTUALLY WAIT SOMEONE LET MISUMI MEET EWIYAR PLEASE TELL ME HE UNDERSTANDS HER I KNOW IN MY HEART HE DOES

OH MY GOD YES YES YES!!!

i got carried away so it's under the cut but i have many thoughts and i think i covered about every a3 chara in more or less lengths

ok out of the way first, but, Misumi and Hisoka would befriend Dante so bad it would be so much. But esp Misumi would make it so fun, he'd meet any of Dante's cats and immediately understand them, and Dante is impressed by how this young man understand Cat's Nature, while Sen mopes a bit in the background because she can't understand them.

Misumi would then totally go to Ewiyar and, would completely pin down that something is going on with her. And she would just be like "........ don't tell anyone about who i really am you mortal!" but then Misumi starts to pet her so she forgets.

Hisoka too i think would get along with the kitty gang but he's also much more likely to tell on Ewiyar than Misumi is. Ensue a battle of wits between Ewi and Hisoka as Ewi tries to shut him down.

Outside of the kitty crew, i want Spring to meet up with the Dragon Knights, if only because i think we should allow Itaru's big ugly crush on his video game Lancelot to carry on our Lancelot. I want him to get so excited meeting the knights all named after the same charas that helped him grow all that time.

If he gets to meet Gawain he'd also totally tease Chikage about it. Please. Also just in general i think Chikage would be so hyper competant in a fantasy world that the knights would just be hello what the fuck. I would love to see him bond with Siegfried due to the two of them being more likely to do things behind their friends's back to help them.

And Percival and Citron would be a deadly combo i'm legit begging. Citron would be so chaotic it would drive Percival nuts, and then he'd learn Citron was supposed to be the King of his country and he's just bewildered because HOW. WHAT. And he'd be so frustrated with it until the Serious Moment Of The Collab where Citron actually gets more serious and finally Percival understand what was going on and he would respect Citron. And then Citron would bother him again and he's just "nevermind this sucks hey mongrel save me."

And while still on Spring x Dragon Knights i feel like Siegfried and Vane would like, completely try to adopt Sakuya and Masumi - hell i could see Vane struggle because Masumi is clearly rejecting him and it hurts his feelings.

And i feel like Lancelot and Tsuzuru would get along due to all the responsabilities and stuff, and Tsuzuru would at least look up to someone, until Lancelot indulge in his prankster nature and Tsuzuru is just "nevermind why can't i escape that this is UNFAIR."

Aside from that, what i can also imagine, is to PLEASE have the "Language innovator" crew meet up with Lowain and co. The combo Citron/Kazunari/Homare keeping up with Lowain/Tomoi/Elsam would be a disaster. I want it to drive Tsuzuru completely mad. Also for similar reasons i want Kazunari to meet Chloe because they clearly would talk the same way, driving people mad. Thinking about Chloe the fact she loves make up a lot means i want to see her and Azami bond.

Then i mostly have individuals in mind but like, for very simple situations:

Spring:

I want Tsuzuru and Lunalu to discuss their artistic creations and the dilema between being self indulgent and making a good story. I want Tsuzuru to meet Cagliostro and see what a real alchemist is like, comparing it to Clockwork Heart and all that jazz. I want Chikage and characters like Predator or Nehan, who were driven by revenge, to have some common ground and discuss, but i also want him to meet Feower because "big brother dirtying his hand to try to protect his only remaining precious family" would be something they'd connect on.

Summer:

I want Muku and Ange to meet and discuss with heavy loving sighs how much they want to be princes. Also Muku meeting Lunalu and discussing about romantic subtexts in work of fiction they like. I want Yuki and Korva to meet and discuss fashion even if it ends up with the two of them starting to compete against one another. Extremely silly but i want Kumon to meet Albert because, i think he'd find Albert cool, but also mostly because i feel like he'd be so hyperactive around him Albert would go "okay that's it i acknowledge it i'm an old man how the FUCK am i supposed to keep up with that."

Autumn:

i want Sakyo and Yuisis to discuss as both yakuza with fierce beliefs. I want Omi and Lowain to cook together and share some story. I want Omi to meet up with Cain and Rein, too, and have a bonding moment with Rein cooking, and then he'll learn about Cain's grief and would project his own, because i think it would be a great story (and also because my best friend is an Omi and Cain lover, she deserves the double suffering) I want Juza to be covered in candies by any characters willing to give him sweets. I'm putting a huge sign on Vane being the one covering Juza with love because i want to see it.

Winter:

I want Lamretta and Azuma to have a nice chat around a bottle of wine. I want Zooey and Guy figuring themselves to discuss their existence because i feel like Guy would relate to Zooey's deal. Similar reasoning for why i want Guy and Cassius to meet. I want Tsumugi to befriend Rosetta and Yggdrasil and getting gardening tips from them because who's better to give those to him than people who knows those stuff intimately. I want Hisoka to meet Troue because i think between the sleepiness and memory loss Troue goes through, Hisoka's protective bone will tingle and it'll be a neat plotline. I want Homare to meet Grimnir because i think Grimnir's long stretched sentences would inspire Homare and once Homare brings it up Grimnir would get so flustered about being complimented he'll fish for Homare's attention at all cost. (tho as far as Grimnir is concerned he also need to spend time with Itaru/Tsumugi/Kumon to see who can out chuuni him). 2022 EDIT: I want Homare and Sui to meet!!! both of them have a hard time with social cue and empathize with people but GOD they try because they care and everything, and both of them are the type to break into a poem/song all of the sudden they’d get along sO WELL

in more elaborate hcs:

I want Taichi and Meg to meet and discuss about how heavy it is for them to be "so damn normal" and how much work they have to pull in order to keep up with everyone else, except that it would fall flat the moment Meg starts to talk about her shark hand and Taichi is crying because how the fuck is that supposed to be a relatable normie thing. Also Meg would talk about her childhood best friend and how despite much struggle at first now they are so close and Taichi would project and get all romantic about it you know it.

I feel like Winter would be the more at ease to meet up with the Angel crew too but mostly because i think it would be hilarious if Tasuku breaks into one of his "i'm actually my character right now" if Sandalphon opens up about Lucifer's death into his own hands, and Tasuku is just "i understand you, i lost my lover the angel Michael the same way" and Sandalphon is ?????????????????????????? and Tsumugi has to try to snap Tasuku out of it because Tasuku starts to talk about angels responsabilities (meanwhile i want Hisoka to constantly try to sabotage Tsumugi because "wait no it's going to be funny"). (also if they end up talking about grief i think Sandalphon and Azuma/Hisoka/Chikage could have a great conversation, cut back to how i often mentioned Sandalphon and Chikage have similar pre-"redemption" arc). And speaking of angels i think Belial should be allowed to join, as a treat, and start to provoke people, and all the cast is just hey what the fuck, and Azuma is just wait. I can outdo him. And the two of them gets into a word battle of who can outdo each other out of innuendos. I can see clear as day Homare cheer for Azuma and his mastery of words, Tasuku just being desperate like "that's it we're cheering for that now" while Tsumugi laughs a little nervously like, hey he's having fun at least? Meanwhile Sandalphon is on the brick of crying because WHY is there TWO OF THEM.

(Simiar topic: Azuma and Shalem would get along because neither of them would have any filter and everyone else would be crying around them).

Also, i want Guy and Ladiva to become besties as bartenders, trading tips. Also Guy bonding with Jamil because, ex "person who got their hands dirty out of devotion, who were barely considered people" healing with bartending would make for an interesting duo.

Speaking of Ladiva i feel like she'd get along with Muku so well because of her whole approach as, "love is the most beautiful thing". Muku and Ladiva would just roll with it and have fun. Also i think Yuki would like Ladiva, and I want to see Azuma at her bar almost nonstop and Ladiva jokes about how she had never seen anyone hold his alchool like Azuma does, and they discuss more profond things about emotions and stuff, esp since the two of them may as well be the Designed Listener Trying To Cheer People Up of each crew.

I want Autumn, especially Banri (and Juza) in general, to meet with Feather and Randall though, like, so bad. The fact Randall and Feather are basically just always fighting to prove they're stronger that one another, that Feather is always looking for someone to "speak with his fist to" and overcome, i feel like eventually the Banri senses would tingle. Juza would totally point out "they're like, extreme Settsu" while Banri is just exCUSE ME. And i feel like even Feather and Randall would be too extreme for Banri esp now that he mellowed a bit, but it'd eventually get to him at some point and he'd just "you know what game is game LETS GO." against all better judgement.

Oh and on the same topic/saga, i think we should have Fiorito and Taichi bond, since we have a peak "has joined the crew to betray them but oh no now they caught feelings and that's where their found family is now". Esp Taichi and not, say, Chikage, because it wasn't personal or anything in comparaison, so i feel like this could be an opportunity for Fio to see that there is a way for her to be accepted by her crew even after all she's done. Imagine the whole scene of Taichi opening about his betrayal to Fio, and how much Autumn has accepted him, while they're both looking at Banri and Juza fighting Feather and Randall, and Fio's look gets lost in thought. It'd be great.

Also since i'm speaking of Fio, Tasuku and Fiorito would get along SO WELL because they're both major musclehead. And on that point, Tasuku joining the Fundoshi gang is a must. Soriz, Eugen, and Jin would try to drag him to show off his muscle for Masculinity sake, and Tasuku would just be like hell no, and Azuma would nudge because hey Tasuku pleaaase 🥺, i see it in my dreams.

I'd love Summer to meet up with Vikala if only because i think her whole "terrified of being social and have to make up a whole persona to even gather her strength" could really resonate with like, Tenma/Kumon/Muku especially and they'd take one look at her and go. yknow what. Let's summer it up. We'll teach her. Also i feel like Juza should be around because he'd see Vikala's trick to try to "be someone she's not", ie, putting on the mouse's ears to prompt herself up, and he'd just be like "that rules. I want to try it too." and Banri probably has to bring up that are you serious thinking mouse ears will save your case right now.

Also extremely silly but i want Seofon to meet with Summer because i feel like he'd be totally inspired and carried away by their attitude and he'd try to get tips from Tenma on how to organize his crew like that considering how hard it is for him to do so with the Eternals. Yes Tenma would just go "we just slept together!" and Seofon would just nods and put this advice to use with Feower which would get him a kick in the face.

But most importantly, and i want it to be clear, i just want Sakuya and Lyria to meet and talk. Because i think the two of them would hit of so well, they're so similar in the sense of... past of not being seen as more than a tool or a bother, finally finding a place to call home and blooming around the people they want to take care of. And both of them are ray of sunshines who also constantly play down their own feelings yaknow? I feel like they'd get along so well. I want Danchou to want to adopt Sakuya on the spot like all of us do because he reminds her of Lyria and they're a set do not separate.

This is all that's coming to my mind at the moment and i know some charas definitely have it better than others, but. Many thoughts head full i want them all to meet @ cygame hire me.

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #ichafantalks a3 #ichablogging gbf #ichablogging gbfhcs #ichablogging a3hcs #gbfxa3 #ihavenotfallenyet #i should have covered all of the a3 chara so cheers hope it's a fun read bc it was fun to think about

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murasaki-murasame · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep13

The true mystery of this show is trying to figure out how to even talk about each episode without just repeating myself or talking about other parts of the franchise, lmao.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus probably spoilers for both Umineko and Ciconia.

I’m not even sure where to begin talking about the fundamental issues this show has at this point, lol. It’s easy to just say that Sotsu on it’s own is bad, but I feel like it’s highlighting the fact that right from day one there were problems with the show’s structure and it’s intentions that have just become more and more of an issue as time’s gone on.

At the very least, I think that it was a huge mistake for them to have the gun cliffhanger happen midway through Gou, and to then spend so much time on backstory stuff and answer arcs. That just cast a negative shadow over all of those arcs because everyone was just impatient to get back to the cliffhanger. At this point I think they shouldn’t have even had Nekodamashi be in Gou to begin with. If they transitioned straight from Tataridamashi to Satokowashi then you could keep the general cliffhanger of revealing that Satoko’s the culprit without making people so impatient to go back to it and see what happens afterward.

But there’s also the issues like how Satokowashi revealed everything we needed to know about the howdunnit of the mystery, or how the whole gimmick of reusing the same scenarios as the VN in order to play both sides and make it technically accessible to new fans really wrote them into a corner and forced them to spend more time on the answer arcs than they needed to.

If we at least assume that the whole story ends in this arc, I think you easily could have condensed it all into one 2-cour season if they’d just committed to aiming this at old fans.

I guess there’s still a chance we’ll get some sort of continuation, but at this point I feel like the only way to get that much more content is if it ends up mostly retreading Satokowashi from a different perspective, which might actually drive me insane, lol.

In general it just feels like we’re already at the climax of the story one way or another, and there’s not many ways to keep it going for much longer without it seeming super forced. Like, Eua and Hanyuu are having their big confrontation with each other, and now Rika and Satoko are both on the same page, so they’re going to basically be stuck in a stalemate until one of them gives up. There isn’t really any mystery left to answer aside from giving more info about what’s going on between Eua and Hanyuu, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and not drag this out.

We also know from TV listings that a different show is going to taking over Sotsu’s time slot next season, so unless it changes time slot for some reason, we’d probably have to wait until at least January to get a continuation, and I just dunno if that’d even be worth it.

I’ve already gone over my general ideas for how I think this will end, but I still think it’s entirely possible to wrap things up in just two more episodes. At the very least, if we get another full cour out of this then that’d probably just end up only having a few more episodes of actually new content, so my point still stands, lol.

I don’t think this episode did much to change my mind about where this is going, but it did at least clarify a couple of things. Like how Eua explicitly calls Hanyuu a ‘part of her’, which means that I’m probably right about my interpretation of them being two halves of the same being. There’s still a lot of different ways they could explain it, but at this point it’d basically still just boil down to the same idea of them being two parts of the same person.

It’s also more clear now that Rika more or less didn’t really know about Satoko being the culprit until the last minute, and was starting to get flashbacks to the end of Tataridamashi. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that. It’s kinda hard to believe that Rika wasn’t at least suspecting Satoko by that point, but I do like the implication that Rika wasn’t fully dead when Satoko arrived, since that at least feels like pay-off for Satoko being so cocky and openly monologuing about how evil she is when she thinks Rika’s dead and can’t hear her.

I guess this episode also shows that there wasn’t anything particularly special going on with how Takano decided to confess to Rika in this one specific loop, which is also kinda underwhelming. Basically it seems like it just boils down to her feeling guilty about all of the stuff she remembers doing, but it’s still kinda weird that she didn’t confess to her in any previous loops. One of the weird issues with Gou/Sotsu’s storytelling is that Rika seemingly put no real effort into trying to investigate Takano even though she remembered her being the culprit, and I think that could have been really easily resolved if there was a scene like this in Onidamashi where Takano confesses her sins to Rika and leaves the village, since that would at least give a reason for her to not try and investigate them, and to assume that somebody else is behind these new loops. They could have even just had that happen off-screen and only be shown in Oniakashi if they didn’t want to spoil new fans. It just seems like a really easy change to make that would have made Rika’s passivity and hopelessness in this series way more understandable.

I think we’re also meant to assume that Satoko reacting to the box in this episode was just her faking it, since there’s no real indication that her conscience has returned or anything. But I’m not really sure why Satoko would go out of her way to fake that, when the trap box hadn’t even come up in that timeline. Maybe it would have made more sense if we saw her inner thoughts in that scene, but it kinda feels like they had to come up with some sort of scenario where Satoko would accidentally display knowledge that only a looper would know. Compared to how she’s been almost overpowered and hyper-competent in this series compared to Rika, it has a weird vibe of her being stupid because the plot demands it, lol. Either way it just seems kinda weird and contrived.

We also ended this episode on the gun cliffhanger again, which I saw coming, but it still kinda stings, lol. Hopefully the payoff is worth it. Realistically I think Satoko will just immediately shoot Rika, and we’ll cut to them having a proper confrontation in the meta world. With how they compared it to the ‘miracle’ scene with Takano in Matsuribayashi, it’s possible that they’ll somehow stop Satoko from shooting her, but I dunno. The stuff Hanyuu said about how this ‘isn’t the world that Rika fought for’ makes me think we’re probably not gonna stick with this loop for very long anyway, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and get to the part where the two of them fight it out in the fragment world once and for all. Which at least seems to be what that one part of the OP is teasing at.

On that note, the only other mysterious part of the OP [and the key visual] left is the older club members in new outfits, which still feels like a bit of a loose thread, but it’s entirely possible that it doesn’t really mean much. For one thing, it could be as simple as it being related to an epilogue scene back in the Matsuribayashi timeline where they’re in different outfits to the ones we saw them wear last time we saw them. Either way I don’t really think the other club members are going to be super relevant to how this all ends, so one way or another whatever that stuff is related to could still just come up in the next two episodes.

Basically the question is just how exactly the big conflicts are gonna get resolved, and what note we’ll end things on. Which also ties into the larger question of whether or not this is genuinely meant to tie into Umineko [and maybe Ciconia] like they’re indicating, or if that’s some kind of elaborate troll.

I know i’m biased, but I think all the Umineko and Ciconia stuff is totally sincere, and Ryukishi really is using this as a way to start tying the wider WTC-verse together in a more concrete way, so that’s what I’m basing my theories off of.

With that in mind, I still think this will end with Rika and Satoko officially abandoning their humanity and becoming witches together, with the sword maybe being an in-universe plot device to depict that process. And with the reveal that Eua and Hanyuu are for all intents and purposes two parts of the same person, I feel like their side of things will probably end with them merging together in a way that creates Featherine, which would at least explain why Featherine’s personality is more mild than Eua’s, and also why Bernkastel is her miko, and why Featherine’s whole name is a giant pun about Hanyuu. It’d also fit with the whole religious motif that Hanyuu has going on if she basically ‘sacrifices’ herself to neutralize Eua. It’s at least the closest I think we’ll get to seeing Eua be ‘defeated’.

And on that note, I don’t really think this will end with anyone like Eua or Satoko being used as a villain who everyone else defeats so they can go back to their happy ending, since that’s the exact sort of thing that Ryuukishi regrets doing originally, and is why we’ve gotten so many redemption arcs for people in Gou/Sotsu. So I think at most we’ll see Eua get turned into Featherine so she’s less actively hostile towards everyone else, but I think this will ultimately end with Rika and Satoko reconciling and mending their relationship.

Over on the Matsuribayashi timeline side of things, I feel like this is gonna end up paralleling Nekodamashi a bit, and we’ll find out that Satoko ended up planning to kill herself in the Saiguden, but Rika and the club will show up at the last minute and she’ll choose not to. Then we’ll probably see her and Rika talk things out properly, and maybe Satoko will find out that Satoshi woke up from his coma or whatever, and that way they’ll all still get their happy ending, while also simultaneously we can still have Rika and Satoko split off their witch selves into separate entities that become the Bern and Lambda we know in Umineko.

It’s possible they’ll do something with the idea of Satoko losing her game and being sent to a world without Rika, but that also might just not happen at all. So who knows.

If they really lean into the idea of this directly setting up for Umineko, then it’d be neat if we also see Satoko and Rika meet Ikuko in the future of the Matsuribayashi timeline.

There’s also the Ciconia teases to think about, but they seem to be going in the direction of Ciconia taking place before all this even happened, so I think that’ll be kept kinda nebulous and unexplored until Ciconia itself finishes. Ryukishi might announce a release date for phase 2 after Sotsu ends, but I think it’s way too early for anything like an anime adaptation of it. I’d rather they wait until at least after it’s finished before they do something like that.

On the other hand, Umineko’s been over for like ten years, so it’d be much easier to do something like a remake for it after this. I have a lot of thoughts about how that might go if they do that, but I’m gonna wait until Sotsu ends and then make a separate post about it.

Anyway I guess now I just have to wait and see what happens next week, lol.

#murasaki rambles #higurashi #higurashi sotsu

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agathaarts · 4 years

Photo

Spidersonas forever!!!!!! Though she’s become less of a Spidersona and more her own weird spiderspinoff at this point, complete with a name change.

Some more Itsy stuff outta basically nowhere! Her spider-human hybrid form is where she’s most “comfortable” and ultimately where she winds up resting most of the time, though she’s still a pretty competent were-spider-shapeshifter-sort. She has a number of different and modifiable outfits, perks of living with a seamstress, and....I also wanted to draw a bunch of her, uh, rogue’s gallery together, though admittedly the Black Cats could be considered friends before long. Or at least, associates.

This is far from all of them, but these are the guys I have concrete looks for at least! Maybe I’ll do one of her allies soon. As is, most of her issues stem from the monsterous OZCORP, the company that not only created her, but continues to create it’s own forces, meddling in the nature of reality to do so!

Tiny blurbs below the cut for each of them, and if you’d like to know more about any of ‘em...let me know! I have an unfortunate amount of ideas for this AU!

ITSY-BITSY AKA SPIDER-WOMAN aka Aggie Appleton. While working for the unscrupulous OzCorp, unlucky intern Aggie Appleton is caught in the backlash of an experiment that fuses her with unstable realmatter and the test subject- a hyper-adaptive spider created using the same unstable realmatter! Now, she fights to protect her city from OzCorp’s increasingly dangerous experiments and the beings created by their experiments as ITSY BITSY aka THE INCREDIBLE SPIDER-WOMAN!

THE GREEN GOBLIN aka Norma Osborne. The CEO and leader of OZcorp, Norma Osborne has sacrificed everything for her company and their work, being a gifted and brilliant scientist in her own right. It has cost her family ties, friends, her social life, and now- her sanity and stability of form. Able to transform into the corrosive GREEN GOBLIN, she becomes a destructive force of chemical reactions and decay, with no more limits standing in her way! At least, until that annoying spider shows up...

THE KLYNTAR, represented by units VENOM and CARNAGE ~ Inter-dimensional beings, symbiotes (or, perhaps, parasites) who feed off of living beings, the KLYNTAR are horrors from beyond who’ve made a deal with Norma Osborne: a place to stop and feed in exchange for OzCorp to poke and prod and take samples to use their unstable realmatter forms to create new techniques and horrors! Of course, once mold gets in....it’s almost impossible to get it out, even if said mold is far more than anything native to Earth!

BLACK CAT is a mystery. A force of corporate espionage, a cat thief, a rumor, and mystery, a funny joke to poke fun at unsolved thefts and leaked information- of course, it’s very hard to find Black Cat. They slip in and out of secure warehouses, files, and companies with nary a trace, virtually impossible to spot. Especially unless you know they’re not one person, but three. At least, that Itsy-Bitsy comes to know of...

THE BUGS are a group of ne’er-do-wells who took up an offer to be bonded with biotech armor by OzCorp, all for their own various reasons, and now they’re beholden to OzCorp...and on an impressive payroll, that motivates being guards, bullies, and thieves as necessary.

SCORPION aka Mac Gargan. Once a private detective of disrespectful status, Mac Gargan was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Unlike his fellow bugs, he tends to question a lot of his commands, and is well aware of the quote “hinky crap” going down behind the lab doors of OsCorp- but the pay grade is nice. And the benefits, well, the benefits are killer. Besides, he’s gotten to know the personality of his symbiotic armor well...and wouldn’t abandon him back to OzCorp’s nonexistent mercies by quitting.

BEETLE aka Abby Jenkins. Previously an engineer with white collar criminal aspirations, Abby Jenkins was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Having bonded well with her symbiotic armor, she’s enjoying the steady work and respect she finds with OzCorp, and gets to spend her spare time tinkering with projects amongst brilliant inventors she’d have never had a chance to rub elbows with before!

FLY aka Richie Deacon. A career small-time criminal, Richie Deacon spent most of his life in and out of prison, halfway houses, and shelters, and was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling a particular tragedy and desperation. Now they don’t care much about the work they do, happy to do whatever OzCorp asks in exchange for living a cushy life, even if it means having to wear the gross symbiotic armor. Still, small price to pay to fly!

SHR- i mean -SHOCKER aka Herman Schultz. Another career criminal, Herman Schultz worked as muscle for a few crime families in various cities, before getting bounced out of almost all of them and directly into OzCorp’s loving arms. No tragedy or desperation needed to convince him to get into a suit of powered armor (even if it’s more or less a giant lobster as far as he’s concerned) and start breaking things at a whim! Besides, everything at OzCorp is so damn weird, he’s never been more entertained anywhere in his life!

ELECTRO aka Max Voltage. Once one of OzCorp’s many test animals, an electric “eel” cobbled together out of various types of electric fish and a hodgepodge of other animals, Max taking on human traits was, well...an accident, but a happy one. Now settled into a form distinctly human, with intelligence to match (though some would argue otherwise) Max is capable of incredible feats of electrical manipulation and sensitivity beyond any creature in it’s creation!

DOCTOR OCTOPUS aka Octavia Otto. Respected young researcher and lead scientist of many OzCorp projects, Octavia Otto was caught in the backlash of an experiment that ultimately fused her with a number of test subjects, hyper-adaptive octopuses...except she’s continued to mutate and change, in ways nobody else can quite pin down (but it’s okay, she’s keeping rigorous, detailed notes on the process! For science!) and has assisted OzCorp’s goals since, happy to have a constant source of supplies and test subjects to work with. Her and Aggie Appleton had...history, before this all went down, too, so that’s not awkward at all!

RHINO aka Aleksei Sytsevich. Arriving in America as Anna Kravenoff’s bodyguard, Aleksei found himself out of work before long as Anna hastily shucked her father’s protections of her and kicked him unceremoniously out of her life. Once OzCorp decided he’d make a fine test subject, well, he’s been a professional mook for most of his life and didn’t have many complaints about the improved size, strength, and toughness. Aleksei may put on a blithe, dopey exterior, but he’s far too controlled to be an actual fool...which makes him quite dangerous, even if he only does as OzCorp asks.

THE SPOT aka Joon-Woo Ohnn. The Spot’s creation is a sort of mystery, even to himself and to OzCorp. An experiment, a failure, and...Dr. Ohnn is still certainly alive and aware, but some sort of bizarre 3D shadow cast by, well, wherever he is. While unable to speak, Ohnn is still fully capable of serving OzCorp, with his ability to function as a series of wormholes and perform strange acts of teleportation.

MYSTER.IO aka Mysterio aka thecrystalball aka The Mystery aka ??? aka aka aka aka aka..... Myster.io is a digital character- either a face for someone distant and anonymous, or many someones, or perhaps some sort of self-aware AI, Mysterio’s story changes every time he tells it and that’s just how it should be! This bizarre digital being pops up on people’s devices and is an information gatherer and peddler, always happy to tweak reality to better suite someone’s needs for a price.

KRAVEN the HUNTRESS aka Ana Kravenoff aka Kraven Jr. aka Lady Anastasia Kravenoff. Kraven the Hunter was a star, a legend- a man who battled beasts and travelled to impossible places and rose to reclaim an ancient family legacy, he was famous and infamous alike, and regardless of if you loved or hated him- he was a household name across the globe. Ana would like that. Ana might have been shipped off to America to live a carefully tailored “normal” life by her father and his estate, but Ana has aspirations that greatly outstrip those of her brothers and a goal to match her father’s infamy someday! But until she can secure a show, she hunts monsters for YouTube and enjoys her modest cult following- especially since she’s found a way to attend college in a sleepy Midwestern City that just happens to have a lot of monster-related issues. Her current target? Spider-Woman!

#spidersona #itsy-bitsy #itsyverse #spider-woman #green goblin #venom #carnage #black cat #scorpion #beetle #fly #shocker #electro #doctor octopus #rhino #the spot #mysterio #kraven #ana kravinoff

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drinkthehalo · 4 years

Text

Macro perspective on each Lymond book

I've been listening to the Lymond Chronicles audiobooks, which has given me a different perspective than reading them. With audiobooks, you’re less inclined to stop and dive into the details, to look up an interesting word or obscure historical fact; instead you get swept along with the larger arc of the book.

So, I thought it would be interesting to look at what each book is about from a macro perspective.

Spoilers for the entire series follow.

The Game of Kings

In genre, it's a mystery told in a historical adventure style; it asks the question "Who is Lymond?" and gives us a ton of contradictory clues, then finally reveals the truth - in a psychological sense by stripping away Lymond's defense mechanisms and revealing the human being underneath, as he breaks down in the dell, "the guard was down... every fluent line and practised shade of Lymond's face betrayed him explicitly"; and in a narrative sense via the trial, which examines each "clue" we received throughout the story and tells us what it really meant.

Thematically, it's mainly about "serving honesty in a crooked way" - that morality isn’t simple and that sometimes you need to break the rules to do the right thing. Nearly all Lymond’s acts are apparently bad things done for a goal that is actually good. We see the theme also in Will Scott (who learns that the world is more complicated than the "moral philosophy" he learned in school) and the various characters who help Lymond, breaking the rules of society by aiding a wanted outlaw (Christian, Sybilla, the Somerviles).

It is also about the balance of looking out for self vs the obligation to the greater society - Lymond is not completely selfless (after all, he is back in Scotland to clear his own name), but when forced to choose, he always chooses the greater good above his own goals. He is contrasted with Richard, whose great mistake is to put his obligations to Scotland at risk in pursuit of his personal vengeance, and Margaret Lennox, who is purely and grotesquely out only for herself.

The historical context is part of this theme, as we see the various border families playing both sides between England and Scotland, with the heroes being those who ultimately stand up for Scotland, even as we understand that some have no choice but to profess one thing while doing another.

Queens Play

In genre, it's a spy novel; thematically, it's about what Lymond will do with the rest of his life. The question is asked explicitly several times (most obviously, "You have all your life still before you." / "The popular question is, for what?") It's important that Lymond loses his title at the start of this book; he has to figure out who he will be without it.

The main characters all represent possible paths Lymond could take -

O'Liam Roe, who sits back and laughs at the world with detachment, while abdicating all responsibility to use his mind and position to change the world for the better.

Robin Stewart, who loses himself in bitterness about the ways the world has been unfair to him, and in fixating on how he deserved better, fails to take any action to improve himself.

Oonagh, who works passionately to change the world for the better, but whose ideals have become corrupted because she has attached herself to a leader who is more out for himself than for their cause.

And of course Thady Boy and Vervassal, two extremes of himself that Lymond tries on, and (by the end of the series) must learn to reconcile.

The recurring imagery of the first half is the carnival, the masks, the music, the parties, and our hero in danger of losing himself amidst the debauchery. In the second half the imagery every time Lymond appears is of ice, the ultra-controlled, hyper-competent version of Lymond at risk of losing himself by denying his artistic soul. (There’s a wonderful essay here that explores these motifs.)

In the end, Lymond comes to the conclusion that he must not withdraw into detachment or bitterness, that he must find a way to make a positive difference in the world, but that he also must not attach himself to a powerful figure who may be more out for themselves than for Scotland (ie, his refusal to attach himself to Marie de Guise). This sets up the creation of his mercenary army in the next books, as a way he can exercise independent influence in the world.

The Disorderly Knights

This book couldn't be more relevant to the world today. It's a portrait of cynical hypocrisy in pursuit of power; it lays out step by step the tactics of propaganda and manipulation used by despots to build up themselves and tear down their rivals: pretend to be pious, accuse of others of your own crimes, tear down straw men instead of engaging in real debate. It tells us to "look at his hands"; what matters is what a leader actually does, not what he professes to believe.

It shows us how leaders use charisma to manipulate, and, in showing the battle between Gabriel and Lymond for Jerott's loyalty, shows how Lymond takes the harder and more ethical path, by refusing to use his charisma to seduce (a lesson learned from his experience with Robin Stewart) and instead guiding Jerott to come to his own conclusions by means of rational thought instead of hero worship.

At every level the novel advocates for tolerance and internationalism, and against petty sectarianism, as Lymond questions whether the Knights of St John are really any better than the Turks, and as he tries to get the Scottish border families to abandon their feuds in favor of the greater good of the country.

In terms of genre, it’s a pure adventure novel. I never get bored of the masterful action sequences with the battles in Malta and Tripoli, and the extraordinary duel at St Giles in the end. (Also in terms of thematic imagery, there is some crazy S&M shit going on in this book, with Gabriel and Joleta's sadism and Lymond's self-sacrificial masochism.)

I love Disorderly Knights so much. It is nearly perfect - well structured, thematically coherent, witty, fun, breathtaking, and heartbreaking.

Pawn in Frankincense

In genre, this is a quest novel. In several places it explicitly parallels The Odyssey.

In theme, it explores -

Do the ends justify the means? How much sacrifice is too much? Lymond gives up his fortune, his body, and his health; Philippa gives up her freedom and her future; we are asked often consider, which goal is more important, stopping Gabriel or saving the child? We even see this theme in Marthe's subplot, as she gives up the treasure, her dream to "be a person," to save her companions. Perhaps the most telling moment is right after Lymond kills Gabriel; despite all his claims that Gabriel’s death mattered more than the fate of the child, he’s already forgotten it, instead playing over and over in his mind the death of Khaireddin. If you do what is intellectually right but it destroys your soul, was it really right?

The other big theme is “nature vs nurture.” What is the impact of upbringing on how people turn out? In its comparisons of Kuzum vs Khaireddin, and Lymond vs Marthe, it seems to fall firmly on the side of nurture.

It’s also a kaleidoscope of views on love, with its Pilgrims of Love and their poetry, and the contrasting images of selfless, sacrificial love (Philippa and Evangelista for Kuzum, Salablanca for Lymond, Lymond for Khaireddin, perhaps Marthe for Lymond as she helps him in the end) with possessive, needy “love” (Marthe for Guzel, Jerott for Marthe or Lymond, arguably even the Aga for Lymond).

This novel is also a tragedy. Its imagery and the historical background complement the themes by creating an atmosphere lush, beautiful, labyrinthine, overwhelming, and suffocating.

The Ringed Castle

I have to confess this is my least favorite, in large part because I find the historical sequences (in Russia and in Mary Tudor's court in England) go on way too long and have only tangential relationships to the themes and characters.

It seems to be primarily about self-delusion as a response to trauma. Lymond spends the entire novel trying to be someone he isn't, in a place he doesn't belong, because he is too damaged to face reality. (His physical blindness as a manifestation of his psychological blindness; the sequences at John Dee's, surrounded by mirrors, forcing him to see himself.)

Lymond convinces himself he can build a wall around his heart to block out all human connection, that he can be a “machine,” but despite his best efforts, he cares for Adam Blacklock and develops a true friendship with Diccon Chancellor. And of course, by far the most important moment is after the Hall of Revels, when Lymond's heart unfreezes and he suddenly sees one thing VERY clearly. (And then tries, desperately, to escape it.)

The only reason I can think of that the book lingers so long on Mary Tudor (so boring omg) is the parallel with Lymond, her false pregnancies as a manifestation of her desire to see the world as she wants it to be, and her failure to see reality as it is. Ivan of Russia also is a parallel: delusional, unable to trust, and dangerous. Their failures, and the failure of Lymond's Russia adventure and relationship with Guzel, tell us that you cannot hide from reality forever.

The book spends so long painting the backdrop of 16th century Russia that it makes me think that Dunnett got too caught up in her research and needed a stronger editor, although there is also a parallel with Lymond in the idea of Russia as a traumatized nation struggling to establish itself, and of course, Lymond subsuming his need to deal with his own issues into a goal of building a nation.

It's also about exploration, about the intellectual wonder of discovering that there is more to the world, as we learn about Diccon Chancellor and the Muscovy Company. It’s wonderful imagery, but I struggle to how this fits coherently into the overall theme of the novel, and am curious how others reconcile it.

I like the idea of this book more than the reality. If you’re going to do to your hero what Dunnett did to Lymond in “Pawn,” there has to be consequences. But hundreds of pages of our hero in such a frozen state is difficult to read.

That said, the Hall of Revels is one of the best things in the series, and I’ll always love this book for that.

Checkmate

Checkmate is about reconciliation of self and recovery from trauma, as Lymond is forced (kicking and screaming) to accept who is and what he's done, and to allow himself to love and be loved. Philippa is his guide, as she discovers the secrets of his birth, understands his childhood, hears his tales of all the terrible things he's done, and loves him anyway. As far as genre, this is definitely a romance.

There are villains in this book (Leonard Bailey, Margaret Lennox, Austin Grey) but they're all fairly weak; the true antagonist is Lymond himself. From the beginning, he could have everything he needs to be happy (he's married to the woman he loves, and she loves him back!); his true struggle is to stop running from it (by escaping to Russia or committing suicide) and to break through his own psychological barriers enough to allow himself to accept it.

The primary parallel is with Jerott and Marthe, who also have happiness almost in their grasp, but never manage to achieve it.

The heritage plot looms large and is (IMO) tedious; it's so melodramatic that it takes some mental gymnastics to get it to make thematic sense to me. It ultimately comes down to Lymond's identity crisis and childhood trauma. His “father” rejected and abused him, so he based his identity on his relationship to his mother, but his suspicion that he is a bastard means he lives in terror that he doesn’t really belong in his family and that, if his mother isn’t perfect, he is rotten. (I love him but, my god, it is juvenile. The only way I can reconcile it is that his fear about the circumstances of his birth is really just a stand-in for his self-hatred caused by his traumas.) He also continues to struggle with his envy that Richard was born into a position with power and influence that Lymond has spent the past six books struggling to obtain, and that Lymond’s terrible traumas (starting with the galleys) would not have happened if he had been the heir. The discovery that he actually IS the legitimate heir is what finally snaps him out of it, since his reaction is to want to protect Richard, and this also reconciles him to Sybilla since protecting Richard was her goal too.

There are some other parts of this book that I struggle to reconcile (Lymond's inability to live if he can't have sex with Philippa; the way the focus on heritage seems to undercut the nature vs nurture themes; that no one but Jerott is bothered by Marthe's death, which undercuts some of the most moving moments in "Pawn”; and I mostly just pretend the predestination and telepathy stuff didn’t happen). On the other hand, I do sort of love the way this book wholeheartedly embraces the idea that there is no human being on earth who will ever be as melodramatic as Francis Crawford.

In terms of the historical elements, in addition to providing the narrative grounding for the character stuff to play out, it sets up the idea that Scotland has troubles coming up (the religious wars, the betrayal of the de Guises) and that Lymond needs to go home, let go of France and Russia, and focus on Scotland where he belongs. I’m sure there is also some political nuance in the fact that our Scottish hero, after spending so much time and energy in France, ends up with an English wife.

The conclusion in the music room is perfect - it brings us back to the amnesiac Lymond who innocently played music with Christian Stewart, to Thady Boy whose songs made the cynical French court weep, and fills the “void” Lymond described to Jerott where there was no prospect of music. The aspects of himself are finally reconciled and he has a partner to share his life with.

I am curious what others see as the macro / thematic big picture meanings of these books. :) And if anyone can find the key to make “Ringed Castle” and “Checkmate” make more sense to me...

#lymond #the lymond chronicles

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agentmonet · 3 years

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Jacqueline “Jack” Devereux (FC: Astrid Berges-Frisbey)

Pronouns: She/Her

Rank: Apollo

Skill Set Strengths: Gymnastics and Acrobatics, Art and General Counterfeiting, Linguistics, Surveillance, Long Cons

Areas of Opportunity: Smuggling, Operational Organization, and History

Weaknesses: Marksmanship, Hand-to-Hand Combat, and Technological Aptitude

Positive Traits: Disciplined, Calculated, Careful, Balanced, and Intelligent

Negative Traits: Cold, Frigid, Impersonal, Disloyal, and Snobbish

Timeline

Born October 22nd, 1988 in Nice, France to well-to-do French/Spanish aristocracy on the verge of financial ruin

Child of mixed trades - a passion for fine arts, but a talent for gymnastics

Begins competing as a gymnast, earnings gold and silver trophies. Nearly qualified for the Olympics, before an injury and growing dependence on pain killers disqualify her from competition (Age 19)

Earns a scholarship at The Royal College of Art in London, England and emerges with a Fine Arts Degree (Age 23)

Employed as a junior, art restorer for the National Gallery when she catches a counterfeit art piece - catching the attention of Pantheon’s ranks

Joins Pantheon and is placed as an Apollo (Age 27)

The Pantheon’s go-to for art counterfeiting and cons requiring steady hands and athletic flexibility

Languages Spoken

French (Native)

Spanish (Native)

English (Fluent)

Portuguese

German

Mandarin

Italian

Learning Japanese and Cantonese

Character Parallels

Marcia Roy

Olenna Tyrell

Amy Dunne

Mystique

Black Widow

Blair Waldorf

Full Biography

There was a certain, gilded path for the members of Spanish aristocracy. A life that promised importance, lineage, and relevance - long after one had come and gone from the world. It was an old world ideal, but for Duque Lorenzo Jiménez, it remained the expectation. Never mind that the Jiménez’s finances were built on the dwindling foundation of ancestral wealth. He would argue that nobility is synonymous with grandeur. They simply needed to show it to the world. To dig within, and shine. In the bloom of young love, Marianne Devereux promised just that. A highly accomplished painter from a well-to-do family from the South of France; the artist encapsulated what Lorenzo wanted for himself. A grand existence of popularity and influence, shrouded by the classist structures he enjoyed so well. The promise of a son came soon after their wedding, cleverly picking the name ‘Jackson’ after the Pollock painter. But a misread sonogram brings a surprise, and in his place, is her. It’s Jacqueline, they decide. However, the affectionate nickname ‘Jack’ was solidified throughout Marianne’s pregnancy - and it sticks.

Life is not without its share of disappointments, and Jack is exposed to the tumultuous nature of her parents’ marriage. At a young age, the cracks began to appear over the polished glass of the couple. Her father’s taste for champagne, caviar, and excess slowly but surely diminished their financial status. A man of privilege, who never knew a day’s work in his life, placed the blame on his partner. An art career that once showed promise, proved fruitless in the years to come. Year after year, her popularity dwindled. And with it, the financial prosperity of the young family. In the cold, imposing ancestral home - Jack lived in relative solitude. When the marble halls weren’t shaking with her father’s wrath and her mother’s cool resentment, it rang a hollow silence. Something cold and imposing, in all that surrounded her. A cold state of being, as it turned out, made for survival. Jack managed through the toxicity of her family, by virtue of numbness. The singular source of emotional expression, brought by a paint brush and a canvas.

It was the first of many things that her father would take away from her. In its place, is the rigor of gymnastics. What began as a six-year-old’s hobby, evolved into a vocation. Sure, Jack was a tried and true natural - likely inherited from athletes from her father’s side. Something special in her bones, that made her pliable and agile. And sometimes, it was enjoyable. Nothing to be disliked about being excellent, and earning her hyper-critical father’s approval. Still, she would search for a canvas when the night light turns off. By day, she is her father’s trophy. But at night, she is her mother’s daughter. Hers was a technical talent, lacking in her mother’s artistry - you needed a soul to put humanity on the tip of a paintbrush, and stroke genius. One ought not to be fooled by the liveliness of the Jimenez’s home - there is not a soul to be found. As the years trudged on, the unhappiness and instability of her parents’ marriage clung onto the slimmest of threads - Jack’s athletic success. It’s not long before gold and silver medals line their home. The accolades prove to be a commercial success, drawing benefactors and sponsors alike. A cash cow, a champion, a winner - it’s who Jack Devereux-Jimenez is destined to become.

At only twelve-years-old, she began her career as a professional athlete. By nineteen-years-old, it comes to a screeching end. All before ever making it onto the Olympic arena, no less. The mounting pressure, combined with a slow-recovering injury push Jack to performance enhancing drugs. Orange pill bottles smuggled in her leather satchel, pried open after each intensive session. A minor crutch, she argues, that would dissipate when the true competition began. Jack is a winner, but even winners need a push up the hilt. But when it comes to light, she is disbarred from competition. A name that verged on grandeur, blacklisted and forgotten. The sponsors and accolades follow, and so too does her loveless father. Her parents’ marriage is undone, and Marianne and Jack are thrust onto the world on their own. A great many disappointments come from the unraveling, but in some ways, Jack feels relief. She is free - from her father, the Jimenez name, and the volatility of their home. An estate that is sold to settle the family’s debts.

In the aftermath, the mother-and-daughter find their way to Paris, where Marianne’s expertise earns her a coveted spot as a curator for the Louvre. In the simplicity of their two bedroom apartment, Jack heals in the arms of her lost love - putting paint to canvas. A therapeutic act that allows her crutches to become awash. But Jack is not one for keeping still, for just getting by. She is flexible, malleable - and her thirst for excellence can be foregone, for more subdued passions. She builds a portfolio, leveraging her familiar name and inherent talent to earn her place in London’s coveted Royal College of Art. A welcome reprieve, too. The space between Jack and her mother felt smaller and smaller, as resentment simmers just below the velveteen words. Jack leaves for London, and four years later, accomplishes a Fine Arts Degree. The name, Jacqueline Devereux, embossed on the degree. It is a new moniker, for a new Jack.

At first, The National Gallery is the perfect fit. As an art restorer, she is surrounded by fantastical works that spoke to her cold heart. But Jack was never made for ordinary life, or the straight-and-narrow. She is made to win, to see the world, and to bring her own grandeur to life. When a ‘Woman With a Parasol; by Monet is brought to her for restoration, it takes all of five minutes for her studied eye to catch the misnomers. The subtle changes in stroke, the off hue in red, and the tightness in the lines. It was a counterfeit. An impressive one, but a counterfeit nonetheless. But it passes through chains of authentication, caught only by a junior art restorer in the basement of The National Gallery. When the falsity of the piece is brought to the committee’s attention, an investigation takes shape. Never mind the loss of history, the millions in loss it represented caught headlines. And Jack, centered at the eye of the storm. As she makes her leave from the studio in the late hour, footsteps follow her through London’s sleepy streets. They chased her down, nipping at her heels. She believed them to be the perpetrators, offended by Jack’s ability to catch them in the middle of their con. Instead, the mysterious and hooded figures claim their loyalties to Pantheon. Their arrival is not judgement, but the promise of heaven itself - a place where her staunch eye, careful hands, and athleticism could find value.

The swift but calculated decision comes easily, almost too easily. Her workplace comrades, apartment leases, and social media presence is abandoned within the month. She vanishes from her life, but she is not missed. And it’s that ingenuity, that malleability that prompts the committee to decide instinctively. Apollo, a “Jack” of All Trades. A perfect fit for a woman that simultaneously blends in and stands out. She is young, willing, and bountiful with potential. So, they build her up by breaking her down. They dismantle her skills to their bare bones; from starting off on a beam, to drawing shapes instead of restoring images. She is patient through the process, trusting in this new mold. Keen and willing, as her abilities evolve throughout the years. But it’s always been in her, deep as poison. It only needs to be drawn out.

In Jack, there is a light touch and a cold-cut sensibility. She lacks harsh lines or impassioned stances. Her motives for joining Pantheon are simple - Jack is a winner. At what, and against whom? Those were all just details. Nowhere else could pull together her expertise, and draw out the sleeping champion. Nowhere else would value the cold, vacant stare or the way attachment is rootless. She sees that - and she commits. Her specialized skill set, acting as transferable and valuable to each crew. In the years that follow, Jack evolves each of her skills. Her gymnastics turned invaluable in espionage and stealth - lithe form allowing her to blend seamlessly and without notice. No area too guarded, that her physicality cannot navigate through. Jack’s ability with a paintbrush and canvas make her a skilled counterfeiter, forging dummies for the Pantheon’s missions. And even her background of aristocracy proved beneficial. A number of learned languages, combined with her ability to mislead quickly cement her as the quintessential Apollo. She grows, until she is the grand beast that her father could only dream of. In seven years, her reputation within Pantheon’s ranks is one of cold disposition, married with a competitive venom. It’s perhaps the only time that those around her could scratch the surface - when one proved to gnaw at the insecure young girl behind the skilled woman. Despite her divisive attitude, she is adaptable and flexible to the nth degree. Poetically called Agent Monet, she is old world whimsy in a seemingly forgettable scene. A known pragmatist that leaves things as she finds it, as if she was never there at all.

#code.intro #jack.intro

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canttakethatobeyfromme · 4 years

Text

My Ranking/Thoughts on The Boys

Warning: long post

1 - Belphie

Yes, I know that there is a lot of discourse about Belphie, understandably, but hes just kinda my type, pale pretty boy with a good head on his shoulders and snarky sometimes? One of my weaknesses. About the whole “murdering us and then everyone acting like it didn’t happen 2 minutes later” thing, yeah they could have done that a bit better, but it doesn’t make me dislike Belphie because in his defense, having probably the closest person to him get murdered in front of him probably broke him mentally and he needed some crazy stuff to happen to break him out of his funk. Very close with Beel, sometimes they are about equal and i would love to get in on that Attic sandwich but i like Belphie slightly better because hes smarter and I can relate to the trauma (although not the same trauma but just trauma in general) I do think his his Demon outfit is ugly though.

2 - Beel

A couple of my other weaknesses, Gingers and food. Not usually a fan of big muscle guys but Beel is so great otherwise I don’t mind. Only reason I usually like him just slightly less then Belphie is that he can be a little dumb sometimes and I prefer guys that can keep up with the insane amount of talking about various topics that I do. But really hes a very close second, would still love to cook for him forever and touch the tiddies.

3 - Barbatos

Another close one, these top 3 are kind of just dependent on what I’m in the mood for. Another thing I like in guys: competent and mysterious. A guy who knows what hes doing is a big turn-on. I also love sweets (and food in general) so that’s always a plus. I’m super interested in what is going to be happening with the whole Diavolo being secretive thing and I’m hoping that Barby has a role in it cause time control is fun. Also I think his sleepy eyes are cute.

4 - Satan

I’m not usually into blondes but I relate to Satan so much that I can get over it. I have the same experience that Satan has with Lucifer with my own father, lots of gas lighting and issues being ignored or even being aggravated. Also cats are great.

5 - Diavolo

I don’t really like Dia in more than a “I would flirt with him and maybe make out but no more than that” kinda way, mostly cause he’s a.... big man, but also he is a bit too hyper for my tastes. He would make me tired. However, he is really great and has a lot of depth that I am very interested in. Having tea (although I actually hate tea) with Dia and Barby would be a lot of fun, although I’m sure both of them would tease me a lot because I’m super easy to tease.

6 - Simeon

Just like Diavolo, Simeon isn’t really my type but hes very interesting and i would like to know if hes hiding something, and what.

7 - Luke

Hard to place since I don’t think of him as a man (as you shouldn’t) but ill put him around here. My son. Well, most of ours.... son. I want to bake with him, and i would stand up for him when the others pick on him too much and call him a chihuahua.

8 - Solomon

Oh, the shady magician. Some people have pointed out that he hasen’t done anything really but obey me put out a little chart showing how everyone thinks about each other and his pointed to everyone else and it said “Toys” soooooo, it is confirmed. I would still want to be friends with him though, he seems fun.

9 - Asmo

While I love Asmo to bits, hes far down on this list because i just like a lot of characters more than him. I still think hes great though, don’t get me wrong.

9 - Lucifer

I have a lot of issues with Lucifer, a lot of it is the issues with Satan and the way he fucked up handled the whole Belphie situation. Would probably yell at him about that. I mean he could have just told Belphie about the Lilith thing and bit it in the bud. It wasn’t even pride at that point he was just being an ass. But otherwise, I would probably get along with him okay, I am pretty reasonable about doing things for people, but I would stand up for others because I’m used to conflict and have a pretty easy time about being blunt about what someone is being a jerk about.

10 - Levi

I have warmed up to Levi a bit after making a point to play with his cards more and doing some of his surprise guest interactions, they are pretty cute. I’m not really a huge fan of the whole tsundere thing, it can be a bit funny but it gets annoying and is a big turn off in a partner. I would hang out with him though, watch anime and watch him play games, chat about manga and stuff.

11 - Mammon

I know a lot of people are going to be mad at this, but Mammon would drive me nuts, although I will admit he can be pretty cute sometimes. I do agree with the fact that he is harassed too much, but he does do bad stuff a lot and his brothers have been dealing with it for what, thousands of years? So they know the extent of the nonsense that he gets into. Also as I said in one of my head canons, I’m pretty sure he would have a super loud voice, and I hate when people talk too loud, it would drive me up the wall.

#Obey me #Not sure if anyone cares about my actually opinions on the boys but hey #why not

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twentyghosts · 4 years

Text

2019 Creator Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

@xxx-cat-xxx kindly tagged me in this, and since I’m once again seeking to stay busy on a quiet library desk shift, let’s go!

1. Snap Decisions

High school physics teacher Bruce Banner is feeling adrift after he returns from two years in the Peace Corps and takes a new job as the coach of Infinite Horizons Academy's academic decathlon team. Their rival team, Midtown School of Science and Technology, also acquires a new coach when stressed-out CEO Tony Stark finds himself in need of some community service hours. Despite their schools' rivalry, the two coaches become friendly with one another.

When New York's power-hungry Schools Chancellor Thanos abruptly closes half of the city's public schools, the two teams are forced to merge. As things begin to crumble around them, Bruce and Tony get a little help from their students in their struggle to save their schools--and each other.

2. Bruce & Goose's Truce

A follow-up to the first post-credits scene from Captain Marvel.

When Carol Danvers learns that Nick Fury is among the missing, her first thought is to look for Goose. Intrigued, Bruce accompanies Carol and Steve on their Flerken rescue mission. When Carol picks up a new distress call and heads off on another rescue mission, Bruce is left to tend to Goose while hoping Carol can bring Tony back alive.

3. Is This Heaven? No, It's Brooklyn

After supervising the wrong child for 11 years, Crowley and Aziraphale discover that the Antichrist is actually in Brooklyn, and they have one month to avert the Apocalypse. Although they still need to figure out a few minor details (like how to stop him, and what name he's using), they book an Airbnb and head across the pond.

Meanwhile, Bruce Banner, the last living descendant of Agnes Nutter, is also figuring things out, like how can he best answer his curious mentee, Adam Young’s, many questions about the planet? Why couldn't his ancestor's prophecies have been less nice and more coherent? What role will Stark Industries play in causing the end of the world? If he took down his Airbnb listing months ago, how did two strange Englishmen rent it out? And is he really destined to live the rest of his life with the asshole who plowed him over with a Bentley?

The combined forces of science, religion, and coincidences--plus the hyper-competent Pepper Potts--might just be enough to avert the Apocalypse and give everyone a happy ending.

4. Let Me Spell It Out For You

After leaving Vormir, Natasha is surprised to discover that she's become a ghost. Accompanied by her old cat, Liho, she watches over her family and learns that her sacrifice had been worthwhile. And when one of Lila Barton's friends pulls out a Ouija board at a sleepover, Nat gets a chance to communicate with the living again.

5. Winging It

Although Bruce is excited to start college and learn more about the human world, the pressures of keeping his biggest secret safe on campus turn out to be greater than he'd anticipated. But when Bruce reveals his half-Fae nature to save his mysterious friend Tony from a bit of late night trouble, the two discover that they have more in common than they'd thought.

It looks like Cat tagged most of the folks I would have tagged, but I’ll add @godlessondheimite and anyone else who’d like to!

#meme #dumb stuff i make up

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threewaysdivided · 4 years

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Yo hey!!! I just read through your YJ:DW series and I absolutely love it??? So much??? You write absolutely marvelously and have such a wonderful devotion to characterization and everything feels very Real and Natural. Your pacing is most excellent, you really know when things need to be lingered on and when they don’t need much more than a passing mention. And g o d I absolutely adore how you characterize so many characters, but particularly Danny. Like, he’s still the same Danny from the-(1/?)

show, but he’s changed in very particular ways that really match with what he’s been through. He’s very cautious and nervous and frightened after everything that’s happened, afraid to trust, to let people know too much. And that makes sense with everything he’s been through! He’s been on the run for so long, settling in one place definitely chafes at him. More than he feels it should, but it does. And like! He’s so wary and on edge with meeting the Team and the League members. I am def- (2/?)

-initely looking forward to seeing even more of their interactions. And like!!! The team’s reactions!!! Are so well thought out and just fantastic. Like, how Robin is aiming for a mix of normalcy and just a touch of protectiveness. And M’gann is curious and welcoming and doing her best to be Team Mom without being overwhelming. And how Wally is so intensely disbelieving and flippant QND almost abrasive to Phantom. I really wonder how he’s going to change in his approach to Phantom,- (3/?)

-like if he’ll dig his feet in even further to the point of rejecting reality in an attempt to maintain the reality in his own mind, or if he actually will start considering the science behind ghosts possible. I’m so excited to see how that develops. Also, aside, can I just say I loved getting Black Canary’s perspective on things with the last chapter? It revealed a lot more of Danny’s proper abilities and strengths than ya’d necessarily be able to piece together with a younger perspective-(4/?)

-and it just really helps develop the dynamics of everything even more. I’m wondering if you’re going to end up giving Danny enhanced strength or not, and if so to what degree, as an aside, explaining a bit more why he might be pulling his punches. I also wonder if he has any hesitation with fighting living folks who aren’t actively trying to hurt him, seeing as he mostly has experience fighting Ghosts and Hunters. Also also, I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!! (5 or 6/?)

-Aaaah I could keep gushing for a Good While but I’m forgetting how many asks I’ve sent and I don’t want to bother you toooo much, so Imma just finish with you write beautifully and I’m So EXCITED to see where you go with things and like aaaaaaaaah, ya kno!!! (6 or 7/ 6 or 7)

Okay, first things first, you are absolutely not bothering me. You found a piece of free content that I put up and - with no obligation or expectation - sent me six messages detailing how much you liked it, and that’s Delightful. It made my morning. ‘Bothering’ is more than welcome on this blog. Encouraged, even!

We’ve got a lot to cover so let’s get to it:

Danny’s Characterisation

Danny’s character has been a bit of a challenge to balance at times but I’m pretty pleased with how he’s shaping up. There was this trend I noticed back when I started where - even in fics I really like - people had a frustrating tendency to swing him too much in one or the other direction; either turning him into a confident wise-cracking hyper-powerful hyper-skilled Troubled Badass™ who everyone respected even if he was humble about it, or into a Sad™ Broken™ Tormented™ cinnamon roll who just wanted love and who trusted and is trusted by every hero with minimal persuasion, when really he’s somewhere in the middle.

He’s a hero, yes, but he’s also a teenager. He’s experienced and competent, but it’s in the self-taught way that leaves him with rough edges, blindspots and a lack of technical skill. He can be a good, confident leader when the situation calls for it but he’s also someone who reads as fairly socially introverted and canonically has personal self-confidence issues, anxious and depressive traits and really wants to be accepted by his peers. He’s friendly and funny and likeable but lacks social experience in a casual setting and can struggle with expressing his feelings, knowing the right thing to say/ do and being open with people. He’s not just one or the other. He’s both.

I also really wanted to explore the Death and Secrets plot points with more emotional detail. It felt like a lot of the time in stories where he lost his family, Danny would either stall out in a tormented Grief State right until a Power of Love/ Friendship-prompted revival toward the final act, or he’d be sad for 5-10 short chapters then bounce back to his old self and go off with his New Family like it ain’t no thing. With Deathly Weapons I want the characters to have to grow and come together naturally; to earn their healing and show why/how they’d come to like and trust each other, or decide that the other person is worth making the investment.

The Team

It’s kind of funny in hindsight but the Team’s development was a oddly late addition to the planning. Which was fine for Arc I - being very Danny-centric - but then, as I was brainstorming Arc II it kind of hit me that if I was going to call this fic Young Justice: Deathly Weapons I should really try to showcase what I liked so much about the series. And then I realised how much Danny’s experiences (canonical and DW-verse) and Team Phantom paralleled different members of the S1 cast, and how much character exploration potential there was to be had. Arc II is basically just 8 teens looking at each other and going “We’re not so different you and I” in various settings for 20+ chapters.

There’s this nice quote from Stieg Larsson that I think sums up how I see both Danny and the different members of the Team fitting together:

“I’m not going to compete with you. I’m better than you are at what I do. And you’re better than I am at what you do.”

All of them have at least one thing they’re good at, and at least a few weaknesses that other members can cover. Their skills are complementary, their personalities and experiences are complimentary and none of them feel redundant in being there. And with the extra challenges a DW-verse AU opens up, it creates a space where Phantom can slot in without having to displace an existing well-established member.

It also makes revolving perspective a lot of fun as I can tag in whoever’s mindset and perspective best fits the tone and information that needs to be delivered, rather than risking any one character losing their characterisation to their role as de facto narrator.

Despite how he’s acting right now, Wally is actually one of my favourites. Needless to say there’s a lot more going on with our resident speedster than simple garden-variety ecto/paranorma-phobia, but that’ll be explored more in the chapters Flashpoints, Combustion and Equilibrium.

Training and Powers

Bruce and Dinah both make fun writes because they’re adults with more maturity and experience, which makes them great sources of diegetic exposition and perception that the main Team wouldn’t carry as well.

I’ve gotten a few questions about Danny’s powers in that chapter and how close they play to canon, so I should probably clear that up. First thing is that DP’s canon is very wibbly wobbly about Danny’s power set (Is it super-strength letting him lift that or is he touch-transferring flight to make it weigh less? Are those ectoblasts actually fire or was that just an animation flourish? Can he teleport or is he just really fast and invisible? Does him lifting a rake that one time mean he has telekinesis or was it just a quick sight-gag?) so I’ve had to make some calls with grouping and sometimes dropping or altering edge-case powers to create a system that makes sense. The other thing is that Chapter 17 is Danny explaining the things he consciously uses on the job and exploring how they compare to similar DC powers, rather than detailing out every single aspect that makes him different from regular humans. (Kind of like how you wouldn’t bring up your own lung capacity, 20/20 distance vision or excellent patellar reflex unless someone drew your attention to it). The chapter mostly serves to do some character set-up for later and drop some needed exposition so that Danny won’t have to be breaking the flow of future missions to explain very basic facts about his abilities the first time he uses them.

As for pulling his punches, some of it is certainly to do with him being uneasy about fighting breakable living beings when he’s used to ridiculously tough Ghost Beasts, and some of it was specifically due to who he was paired against. But again, that’s something we’ll explore in future chapters.

Pacing and Writing

At this point I can only put this down to lots of planning, drafting and taking inspiration from the styles and structures of some very, very good published authors. Quite a few chapters started out as simple exposition dumps or time skips before I realised that they’d have more value expanded out into full entries of their own. (My drafting process = step 1: write too briefly, step 2: balloon to massively bogged down self-indulgent explorations, step 3: reign it in to something readable).

Books I definitely took stylistic influence from:

1. Steig Larsson’s, Swedish crime-mystery series The Millenium Trilogy. Lisbeth is one of my character references for writing both Batman and Robin.(NOTE: Hard MA+ rating, cw for explicit discussions and depictions of misogyny, homophobia, violence, gendered violence, sexual assault, stalking, drug use and Nazis. Good books but Discretion Advised.)

2. Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief.General influence/ reference for prose and imagery, especially for the tone of Roads to Safe Places (ch.15).(Beautifully written story about humanity, but set in WWII-era Germany so be advised that Nazism, Nazis, War and Death feature heavily.)

3. Patrick Rothfuss’ The Kingkiller ChroniclesGeneral influence/reference for style and prose, YJ:DW Ch. 15′s title is a deliberate call out to the same title in Chapter 18 of KKC Book 1.(Fantasy books with some fantasy violence and a little bit of sex but nothing especially shocking.)

I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!!

Me too! Quick question though:

Just one? Or are all of these okay? 😏

Now that I think about it there’s a weird dearth of story missions outside of the one needed for set-up in most YJxDP stories. Not sure why. Anyway, Deathly Weapons is a beast, we’re going to do at least 10. I gotchu fam.

Aaand I think that’s everything. Thanks for dropping in, feel free to stop by anytime. Hope to see you around! ❤

#young justice: deathly weapons #chapter 17 #In which I meet a wonderful person #strangelady1331 #3WD answers

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zedecksiew · 5 years

Text

What Torchbearer Taught Me About RPGs

Google Plus is now dead. I found my preferred roleplaying-games community there. So many friends and discussions and games. I wrote the following piece on G+ in August 2017. It is the closest I’ve ever got, before or since, to RPG “theory”.

(This particular text is actually the version I posted to Facebook, which is the social-media account closest to my meat-space civilian life -- hence that little oh-what-is-an-RPG-anyway? tangent.)

+++

WHAT TORCHBEARER TAUGHT ME

Torchbearer is a roleplaying game. It taught me that I shouldn't play human characters, in roleplaying games.

Preamble: for the last three years, I've been playing a lot of tabletop roleplaying games (RPGs) over the Internet. Basically, you know that game the boys in Stranger Things play? That, but in a video conference.

I am a Person of Colour (tm), and I almost always play with white dudes.

I wish this didn't matter. But in 2015 I played with some dudes who, after hearing me speak, started talking about how English was definitely my second language.

Ever since I've been hyper-aware about how I present to white dudes.

Anyway: Torchbearer is an RPG. Based on another game called Burning Wheel, Torchbearer's schtick is nostalgia: it is designed to emulate perilous, early Dungeons & Dragons-style dungeon crawls.

It uses BW's "beliefs, instincts, and traits" (BITs) mechanic - define your character's personality and goals; get rewarded for playing accordingly.

I don't really have an issue with BITs. "Fight for what you believe in!" Oh, my self-sacrificing dwarf gets experience points for taking a hit meant for the foolhardy wizard - ie: actually being self-sacrificing? Neat!

But playing according to your character's beliefs and instincts is half of how you need to play in the Torchbearer ruleset.

At the end of every session, you also get experience points for "embodiment" - roleplaying in a "believable and entertaining manner throughout the entire session".

Basically, this means funny accents and exaggerated manners. Which - hey: also seems to makes sense. Funny accents and exaggeration is what makes RPGs fun. I want to have fun. You're rewarding me for having fun? Neat!

Thing is: embodiment can only go to everybody at the table, minus one, in any given session.

It is quite a game-designer-ly thing to think that competition is a good way to make any experience points you gain feel earned / meaningful.

So: players have to rate each other's performances. Players compete to be entertaining.

And, in my group, embodiment effectively became the "you were the least memorable character, tonight, no XP for you" penalty.

I found a group to play Torchbearer with, on Roll20.

My first Torchbearer character was a not-conquistador: a cleric with light in his heart, come to bring Civilisation to savage lands.

He only ever got embodiment once, when I gave him an awful accent (his name was Ulric, so it was a German accent) as a last-ditch attempt to make myself stand out.

My second Torchbearer character was a goth-chick assassin. She spoke in a slinky voice and wore the blood of her victims as makeup. Massive OTT edge-lady.

The other dudes didn't think much of her, either.

Okay, fine. I'll be the first to admit I'm not a great role-player. Gotta try harder!

My third Torchbearer character was Slessik, the snivelling rat-man coward. Great warriors protect Slessik, yes-yes? I did the raspy voice and the hunched posture and mimed licking my whiskers and everything.

Slessik was a hit. His embodiment rate? 100%!

I had fun playing him. And, because in Torchbearer how well-liked you are basically equals how survivable your player-character is, Slessik was my longest-lasting character.

After Slessik, I had enough of playing an essentially non-human character. (It made my throat sore.)

My fourth Torchbearer character was an elf. He began as a slave. He was lazy, and tried stupid schemes to get out of work; this meant he got in trouble, more often than not.

He was also a massive coward. Essentially, I saw him as Slessik, in elf form, with a stammer instead of a hunch and rasp.

No more embodiment. Like, 0%.

My elf died pretty quick. Dead by the - second session, I think?

I sighed, and switched to a fearless, leap-into-danger mantis-man. He / it spoke in a raspy monotone, and was a ravenous predator.

One was the other dudes said:

"Yay! Slessik is back!"

Was it because I didn't do a voice, with my "human" PCs?

But the other dudes didn't do voices, either. They got their experience points.

Maybe I just didn't play with enough colour. But - the other dudes played characters just as trope-y and textbook as my own. Proud barbarian; mysterious wizard; quiet Aragorn-type ranger. They were archetypes, they were fun, they got embodiment.

But I didn't. Not unless I played a monster.

I started thinking about the other campaigns I'd played, online, with white dudes.

I realised I had a tendency to other myself. Play outsiders. Strict cannibal savage. Cyborg with binary-to-human translator. In any party of adventurers, I was usually the outlier figure.

Easier, you know? In our video conferences, I had different skin, a different speech pattern. I couldn't understand certain references. Didn't laugh at certain jokes. I kept quiet when the other guys talked about American-football teams.

Mirroring that dynamic in-game meant less dissonance, on the whole.

You know - that's fine. I'm not about to pretend the cultural divide isn't there. Neither am I going to make a big fuss about it.

It's just - a thing.

But there's a lesson here, for designers - of games, or otherwise:

Thor Olavsrud, Torchbearer's creator, day-jobs in tech.

His collaborator, the designer of Burning Wheel, Luke Crane, works for Kickstarter.

Crane has previously said that he designs his games against social dysfunction. He believes that players will inevitably, inadvertently be anti-social fucks, so Burning Wheel (and, by extension, Torchbearer) are systems designed to make that impossible.

These are systems that handhold you to civility, making sure that there are incentives for working together, being group-oriented, entertaining your fellow players.

Olavsrud and Crane are liberal types. Crane has taken selfies with Anita Sarkeesian. Hearts in the right place, and all that.

But I think it is a distinctly technocratic stance to think that people are intrinsically going to be terrible.

And that the solution isn't to be adults and talk out our problems, but build a system where bad behaviour is impossible. "Solve" the human condition through better design.

That doesn't work.

Torchbearer, a game / ruleset / system Olavsrud and Crane designed, because it tries to account for and course-correct real-life-people-around-a-table social dynamics in its system design -

Is the only game I've ever played that, in effect:

(a) mechanically rewarded me for intentionally other-ing myself, and (b) mechanically punished me for not other-ing myself.

My takeaway from all this:

Don't try to manage real-life social dynamics using rules and systems. It doesn't work. And it will probably cause some harm.

+++

Two years on, re-reading this, I still stand by what it says, by and large. I remain skeptical of using (game) design to social-engineer a Better World. (That still belongs to real-world organising and activism. No shortcuts!)

Two things I’d do differently:

1) “Crane has previously said that he designs his games against social dysfunction.“

I no longer remember the source of this assertion, so as it stands now it’s a claim with no evidence. (I will argue that the design notes in the Burning Wheel rulebook support the idea, though.)

2) I’d further emphasise that there were no bad-intentioned people in the above account.

Torchbearer’s designers are progressives. The guys I played with were -- with one notable, Pizzagate-believing exception -- decent folk. I still remember most of the sessions I had with those guys fondly. They probably identify as woke.

#writing #rpgs #design #torchbearer rpg #google plus

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