#or buy a new car

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

Today I learned two things:

1. If you look harmless enough, a locksmith will just replace your car keys without asking for any proof of identity or ownership. Crocs, pajamas, a hand-knit scarf, a cardigan... No need for pesky things like car registrations or licenses.

(I told this to @anthropocite and received the response of "I'm just imaging your locksmith encounter with the Michael Westen voiceover narration." Yes, exactly. 😂😂)

2. There is an RFID chip in all newish cars, since about 1996 (my '97 Ford Escort didn't have this but most cars did apparently) - you have to program a car key to the RFID chip in order for the key to start the car. Then you have to clear out all the old data from any old keys. Any key tool can unlock a turn-key door, but without the RFID match, the car won't start. This is both why you can't steal most cars with a screwdriver anymore (screwdrivers don't match the transponders), and also why people were able to steal those Hyundais and Kias with a USB cable (no transponder in those cars).

#offline life #cars #i have been driving since 1996 and never lost my keys #but last week i couldn't find my key #and it is nowhere in the house #maybe it got thrown away? #who fucking knows #so i called a locksmith and he came south to my house #and made me a new key and linked it to my transponder in less time than it took for me to scroll tumblr #it cost $350 for two keys #worth it since it would cost a lot more to tow my car somewhere and re-key the whole thing #or buy a new car #i am not buying a new car for at least another ten or fifteen years #but like #he did this shit on a fucking tablet #kind of scary tbh #but great for me for the moment because now i can drive my car again jfc #the end

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[blended-ice]

“He’s the only one I knew that could pound whiskey like a sailor then keep up with me on the dance floor.”

aka my take on Alastor and Mimzy back when they were still alive!

#I want them to be the comedic dynamic duo of all time #both have bizzare questionable morals both kill people but both care about each other #Alastor: sweetheart you can’t keep hitting people with cars #Mimzy: but listen dollface the bitch deserved it this time I swear! #A: *sigh* guess we’ll have to move again #or #M: Al the fuck are ya doin? there’s blood all over my brand new WHITE CARPET #A: well maybe next time you should buy something patterned! hides stains better! #they would be so annoying #hazbin hotel #alastor #mimzy #id in alt text #fanart #peas n guac

[icewindandboringhorror]

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!

#cats #ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial #information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol #but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection) #ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm #The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s #I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old #ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol.. #His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find #The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market #as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere) #stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol #AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over #and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the #entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed #the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish #everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny covered his nose with his hand. Where ever he landed smelled absolutely foul, like rotten fruit and burning tires mixed with chem lab.

"Remind me to bring a face mask the next time I explore the Infinite Realms." He muttered, before kicking a soda can down the alley he was in and being repulsed by the squelch sound it made when it came into contact with a very questionable looking puddle, "Better yet, a gas mask." He glanced at the puddle again, "Or I could go full Hazmat." Clockwork had told him this world was full of superheros and villians and to steer clear of it, but once he learned there were aliens in this world he couldn't help himself. Danny had always been weak to his curiosity, but he liked to believe he was cautious, and chose to stay in his Phantom for for added protection.

Turning on his heel he exited onto a deserted street lined on one side by a chain-link fence. The sky above him was filled with clouds so ominous and dark that Danny honestly couldn't tell you if it was night or day, all he knew was that it was going to rain soon and hopefully these awful smells would be drowned out by the downpour.

Danny got his wish only minutes later. Thankfully Phantom was unbothered by the cold and could just bask in the rain as it fell apon him. A lesser known fact about ghosts is that thier clothes are made from thier ectoplasm and are part of thier bodies, much like a second layer of skin, so one would be able to feel things on thier clothes as easily as they would with thier bare skin. The level of sensitivity varies with the type of clothing however. All this to say Danny loved the feeling of the rivulets of rainwater traveling down his ghostly hazmat suit.

He was so preoccupied with enjoying the sensation that he didn't notice anything was wrong until he was jolted forward from the weight of someone landing on his back. The person was quick and precise, taking no time at all to have his wrists pinned behind his back and- weirdly enough- thier teeth digging into the material around his neck.

His parents designed the Hazmat suit Danny was wearing not only to deal with dangerous chemicals, but to fight supernatural foes. The area around the neck was reinforced with the intention of protecting against fatal gunshots and decapitations so naturally someone's jaw wasn't going to be enough to break through to his neck.

Danny let out a laugh as the person kept chewing on his neck like a confused puppy. Oh, Danny thought, they've gone feral. It was odd for someone to go feral but it could occur when a person has gone through something traumatic recently or through extreme stress. It made sense since the person ridding piggy back on him was dressed like a superhero. Danny wondered if that was why the person didn't have a scent. Danny learns facepalmed when he remembered that scentblockers existed and not everyone's scent dramatically changed whenever they went out as a hero. The scent change was probably one of the few things that have kept him alive up to this point to be honest.

"So, I guess you're not going to tell me why you're chewing on my neck like the worlds most pathetic vampire, are you?" No one deserves that title more than the fruitloop to be honest. He made a mental note to use that one against Vlad the next time he saw him.

Chewy whined at this, seeming to slump a bit from the apparent failure to bite him. What was that about? Was this actually a vampire? How would a vampire even react to Dannys ecto-blood combo meal anyway? Would it be like food poisoning? Or would it taste amazing from one undead to another. "I'm not exactly human, are you sure you wanna bite me? I might not taste so good." Danny warned, but the moment he mentioned letting the person bite him they were eager again.

Danny chuckled and unzipped the material only a bit before it was loose enough to move out of the way. The vampires bite came with a sharp pain like he expected but there was no suction. No drinking of blood. Just some weirdo biting Danny on the neck. Huh.

Danny hoped he didn't get rabies from this.

He must have accidentally said that out loud as there was a small laugh from the rooftops above them. There stood another person in a superhero outfit with some really tall dude dressed as a giant bat, and that was when Danny decided to bail. It was one thing to let a maybe vampire bite you in a random street in the middle of the night but more of them? And ones a big scary furry? Hard pass.

Phantom did as Phantoms do and went invisible and intangible, escaping from Biteys jaws and startling the heros. He ignored the distressed whine Munchy let out after loosing their spookyest chew toy and quickly rubbed the scent gland near dannys jaw on the top of thier head as an act of comfort before bolting.

----

Danny poked at the bite mark on his neck. Screw rabies, he better not get turned into a werewolf. He didn't need that on top of his ghostly crap. Sam seemed fascinated by the mark, after all, it wasn't every day that Danny got a scar, especially one so obvious. Most injuries heal quickly and leave no trace of him ever being injured in the first place which helped a lot in keeping his secret identity.

Luckily Danny hadn't needed to lie to mom and dad. He truthfully told them about some wierdo jumping off of a nearby rooftop and plunging thier teeth into his neck and that two other people had tried to corner him during this. He assured his mom that he had gotten away quickly but was a little shaken by it and his dad praised him for being brave and managing to escape.

That was nice. But he still had to figure out what was up with this bite...and why he felt so compelled to go back to that city.

Back to that hero.

-----

Aka an A/B/O au where in Danny's universe all the Alphas are extinct and the betas followed soon after and the DC universe all the Omegas went extinct and betas followed after . Not like a "they finally went extinct in the 1700s after centuries of thier numbers dwindling" thing and became a myth/fairytale (tho I like that too) but a "this might be the missing link between cave men and modern humans" kinda thing.

Its up to you which bat bit Danny and exactly what that means. I love abo aus without smut cause there's so much potential for chaos and I am very much ace.

#dp x dc #fanfiction prompts #prompts #abo #everyone is confused and no one has answers #i would however like some slowburn romance #whichever bat you choose is going to get teased forever for running up to some random meta and biting the crap outta them #i tricked yall into reading an abo prompt didnt i? #i slept little over an hour last night so i woke up choosing violence #its been a very bad day #the store didnt have a lot of the stuff i needed to buy and on the walk home i saw an older kitten that looked kinda like my cat get hit #the car didnt even stop. poor thing got hit by the next car too and i just stared and it started raining like a freaking movie moment #tw: animal death #tw for the tags #so i got new trauma today #gonna make that everyone elses problem #a/b/o dynamics #kinda #just wanted to add the tag incase yall have it filtered

[ratthivolt]

mimic,

helpi sketch under read more because its been living rent free in my head

#fnaf #fnaf ruin #ruin spoilers #fnaf spoilers #fnaf mimic #helpi #fnaf helpi #ruin dlc #the mimic #top ten posts that make me want to buy a new cable for my drawing tablet instead of just using my mouse like a clown within a car of nothin

[rooscandraw]

at long, LONG last, i am reading heroes of olympus. have a lost trio <3

#heroes of olympus #pjo #jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #hoo #rrverse #valgrace #jiper #whats the ship name for all three of them.....i dont remember #but know in my heart they are gay together #also! jason designed heavily insp. by @ pthalomars i love their jason <33 #art #illustration #roos.png #started listening to tlh audiobook a few months ago then got distracted. we're trying again #im home from school so im probs gonna go actually buy the books while i have a car lmao #n read the rest over break #leo may be my new blorbo i luv him #mcvalgrace #the lost polycule #<<<THANK U PPL IN THE NOTES <3

[thebibliosphere]

I regret to inform everyone that I’ve been left unattended in IKEA.

#mothman outside chilling in the car #me: buying all new bedding and pillows #I came in for a duvet for the guest bed 🫡

[raineandsky]

#119

tw: wasps

The hero turns their attention to the supervillain on the end of row with drooped shoulders and tired eyes. “And you,” they snap shortly, “what’s your superpower?”

The villain sitting next to the supervillain snorts into her hand. The supervillain frowns playfully. “Do I need one?”

“I’m not a big pattern finder, but every one of you felons has had one so far.” The hero taps their pen near the bottom of their paper, where the supervillain knows their name inevitably sits in perfect black print. “What is it?”

“Does people management count as a power?”

If the hero’s expression turned any more sour it’d be unbearable. “Your real superpower, [Supervillain].”

The way the supervillain’s lips curl upward is an answer in itself. 

“You’re all here for a long time,” the hero says with a scowl, raising their voice for the other villains further down the line before turning their hard gaze back to the supervillain. “All the time in the world for you to tell me.”

-

A long time, in a hero’s book, is probably several lifetimes. For a villain, it’s a few well-spent hours. 

The villains blast a hole in the wall and escape into the night with whoops of laughter. The supervillain helps everyone clamber over the rubble, leader that they are, and is carefully guiding the last of their associates through the debris when a voice rings out from behind them to ruin the fun.

“Stop!” the hero calls, as if the villains have ever been good at listening.

Ah—that little twerp from earlier, with the tired face and the scrawling list of superpowers. The supervillain pushes the villain over the last of the rubble before turning to face their new nemesis.

They hold their hands up in surrender, their head cocked to the side. “Or what?”

The hero pulls something the supervillain can’t see from their belt as they take their stride pulls them closer. “Or I might get you in prison long enough to find out what your deal is.”

They step into a swing like it’s a waltz. The supervillain sweeps out of reach like their partner in the tune.

Just enough time to make sure everyone gets away. That’s all they need.

The hero moves in for another strike and the supervillain just about ducks their arm. The air slices over their head, and they finally realise that the hero’s weapon of choice is a blade.

“I don’t have a deal,” the supervillain says easily. “You must know that by now.”

The hero darts back from a swinging punch. “You do have a deal, because you have a superpower and you won’t tell me what it is!”

The supervillain lurches for the hero, like the melee will take their mind off the dangerous ideas they’re barrelling towards. The hero pulls to the side, just, their knife already poised to retaliate. The supervillain barely has the time to avoid them, and the consequence finds itself in a burning crimson gash across their arm.

“I have nothing to tell you,” they snap, careful to keep the distance between themself and the blade twisting in the hero’s hand. “Is it so hard to believe some of us are normal?”

“Considering all you scumbags do nothing but brag about how powerful you are—” Another swipe, another near miss from the supervillain’s face “—yes.”

The supervillain falls forward into another swing, but the hero hops aside like it’s nothing. The supervillain’s spent the last three hours escaping. The hero’s probably spent them sleeping. As much as they’d never admit it, the supervillain’s at a disadvantage.

They glance over their shoulder to the hole in the wall. One of the villains is lingering outside, watching with wide eyes and restless feet. The supervillain tries to make some gesture at him to leave, and he seems to take the hint as he turns on his heel and runs.

More time to make up for. As if they need to waste any more of it.

Looking away was a mistake realised too late. The hero leaps for them in that half second, and their blade scrapes a deep, jagged gash into the supervillain’s chest.

The sudden flash of pain makes the supervillain stagger. Another hero appears on the corner, and the supervillain knows this is over if they don’t do something now.

The supervillain swings their hands in a roundabout motion, their expression stony with concentration. The hero stops the other hero as she gets close, their eyes trained on the supervillain curiously.

The supervillain’s hands clap together. The hero flinches. Nothing happens.

Then, from the hole in the wall, comes a single wasp.

The hero’s gaze flits between the supervillain and the random insect hovering next to them. The supervillain’s finger flicks out to point to them, and the wasp starts flitting towards them. 

The other hero steps back like this is horrifying. The hero raises an eyebrow. “Is… Is this your superpower?”

“I control wasps,” the supervillain says tightly, like the words are refusing to come out. They kind of are, because they never wanted to admit this. “But only one at a time.”

The wasp gets too close. The hero swats at it and its beeline is disrupted, thrown downward slightly by the force. It goes too low, and the hero shoves a foot out to crush it beneath their shoe.

There’s silence for a moment. The hero looks down at their own foot like they’re surprised by their own actions. “How the hell do you get to the top of villainy with a power like that?”

The supervillain grins, like that’ll hide the horrifying pain of having to reveal their power at all. “People management.”

And the confusion of their superpower, it seems, is their saving grace—the supervillain disappears into the evening with two heroes staring down at the splat of the insect on the ground in front of them.

#creative writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writing community #heroes and villains #hero x villain #tw wasps #tw insects #idk whether to put an insect tw cause it's not really the creepy crawly type #anyways i hope yall are having a bangin bank holiday. if youre british. #i have spent mine buying a new car WOOOOOOOO #miss my old car already but she was a lil bit of an old banger and also shorter than me #this thing is a TANK and i love it

[cheeriochat]

Hmmmm DMC headcannons 3!!!!

This one's a bit wordy

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆

• Dante and Vergil are the type of twins that when they are close by, are touching in any way possible. Sitting together? Dante is leaning on Vergil. Standing together? Vergil has his arm resting on Dantes shoulder. Walking together? They keep bashing into eachothers side. They can spend time apart (obviously) but when they are close there is always some form of contact.

• Nero felt phantom pains where his hand used to be, but when his arm grew back they kind of just became ordinary pains. He wasn't sure if it was a side affect of growing a whole ass arm back or something but he was happy when they went away.

• I kind of think Kyrie would have depression. I mean she went through a lot and lost her parents and brother but she lived, so I feel like she would have survivors guilt but due to constantly being busy she wouldn't really have the time to process it. It's a sad headcannon but I feel like it just seems right :(((

• On a bit of a lighter note, I feel like Kyrie would have a good support system though. I mean she has Nero obviously, but also I think she would have Lady, Trish and Dante there for her and eventually Vergil too.

• Talking about Trish, Lady and Dante. I feel like Lady and Trish would go shopping Bayonetta 2 style, and have Dante carry all their stuff around. (He gets compensated for his work when they stop at a Cafe and he gets a parfait, although he doesnt mind helping his friends)

• Nero has a huge sweet tooth, but because of the kids, he can't keep anything to satisfy his need for sugar around long enough. Vergil likes to buy him sweet stuff though as a form of peace offering. He's found Nero likes Lemon Sherbets, Sour patch kids, and controversially, Liquorice.

• Vergil likes Hotpot and Shabu Shabu. I don't know, I just feel this in my soul.

• Dante is jealous that Vergil gets a tail and he doesn't. Vergil is jealous Dante's horns are fancier than his. They are both content with the wings that they have. (Also vergil has long skinny fangs with sharp teeth and Dante has wider, stubbier (but still as equally sharp) fangs with more "human" teeth)

#thats it! #im writing this waiting in a car dealership #mum might buy a new car #but i like the old one #i had fun writing this though #i made myself sad with kyries part #i know its falling into the “giving a character trauma in place of a personality” trope but its all she has so im working with what i got #so tired ive been in this place for 2 hourrs #free meeee #ive got some vergil art to post soon so yeah #but my art flops more than my headcannons so please #please look at my art #i put too much effort in #ANYWAYS THATS IT #enjoy!!! #devil may cry #dmc #vergil #dante #nero #lady #trish #kyrie dmc #devil may headcannon #that'll be the headcanon tag #someones probably already thought of it

[kply-industries]

Happy New Corona, everyone!

#animated gif #animated gifs #gif #gifs #old advertisements #old ads #retro #vhs #90s #cars #toyota #corona #new corona #new holidays #celebrate by buying a different car

[salvadorbonaparte]

Americans, especially New England residents: if I had roughly $600 each month for groceries and other activities (rent, utilities, internet and phone contract would already be paid) would that be enough to survive on

#I'd be buying most of my things at Aldi and bake my own bread if that helps #I also don't have a car and wouldn't have to pay for buses #Other activities would include going to the cinema every couple of months or maybe ordering take out or going to a restaurant #Buying a book or some stamps #Or going to a museum #Or buying a new pair of shoes once

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I'll make you deal with car salesmen

#augh buying a new car #since my last one got destroyed #this sucks so much dudes

[hellenhighwater]

Welp. Beowulf, the beloved car I inherited from my grandmother, is not much longer for this earth, which means I'm going to have to start car shopping. On the one hand, road trip! (Because you should always buy cars from southern states, they're far less rusty) but on the other hand ugh. Cars expensive, and I refuse to have a car payment unless it's completely unavoidable.

So maybe I'll post some paintings for sale soon. And maybe some pottery? Idk about that.

#my mechanic broke the news like he was telling me my dog had been shot #i will always always buy used cars #i have an excellent mechanic and its for sure the way to go #i love owning my car free and clear and i do not want a monthly expense if I can...just not have one #i will take a shittier cheaper car #or ideally a truck but who knows truck market is bonkers rnnd

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

whatcha gonna do, now that you're rich?~

lmao rich with what?? the monopoly money someone reblogged on my previous ask?

if so, i guess just buy a whole collection of rainbow check marks for this, and every single one of my blogs.

that seems like the obvious and wise choice

#I wish that money could buy new car tires lmaooo #ask #anonymous #not but seriously I need to spend $700+ on tires next week #it’s horrific #hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit

[whump-queen]

I overuse italics in whump writing bc I need yall to hear it in my voicee

— like I need you to emphasize it correctly, hissing and low and not fucking *boring*

#my political stance on the overuse of italics #god himself can pry italics from my cold dead corpse #that and the em dash will carry me through this moral realm #queue #shitpost #personal #I’m going to try to be more active <33 #like actually active not just queueing things #I gotta buy a new car this week so ihhh if anyone had any recs #whump shitpost #whump community #whump writers