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hoe-imaginess · 4 years

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just Hawks things

commissioned by anonymous. vaguely smutty hcs included

True Bird Hours: he sleeps most comfortably sitting up with his wings fluffed and folded snugly around him, so he can nuzzle his face into them for the warmth

Yes when he’s got his boo with him, they are also invited to snuggle up in his wings

More birdie things bc why not:

He has an unconscious habit of picking through your hair: brushing fingers through it, fiddling with little pieces, nuzzling his face against it. He’s trying to preen you ok. Please let him. If you are not preened at least once a day… he has not done his job

He also unconsciously fluffs his wings out and makes them a little bigger, more noticeable, when he’s flirting/talking to someone he finds particularly attractive. The bird instinct in him is screaming SHOW OFF YOUR WINGS SHOW OFF YOUR FEATHERS SHOW OFF YOUR PRETTY COLOR MMmmmm plsss look at this plumage bb

But he snaps out of it when he realizes what he’s doing because… omg it’s so embarrassing

His sharp eyes also hone in and out when he’s looking at you because oof he is FIXATED on you. He likes what he sees he is looking DIRECTLY

If you’re angry at him and lock yourself in the bathroom, he sits outside the door like awww come on babe. Don’t be like that. *slips a feather under the door to tickle you*

After a long day of hero work when he comes home to see you, he has either two moods when he gets into bed with you: he knocks tf out, or he can’t stfu

You’ll really be out here trying to get some sleep and he is just running his mouth about all the hero work he had that day, how windy it was, how annoying one of his sidekicks was being—

Those intimate little forehead touches where you just… sit there and relax and simply exist together, eyes closed as you breathe in each other’s presence….. big Hawks mood. He feels so connected to you. He loves it

He doesn’t get jealous very often; he’s too busy for that and he knows how badly jealousy can spiral and ruin a relationship

But when he is jealous and feeling particularly beat up about it, he staves it off by keeping busy with hero work: something to take his mind off of the problem, so that he can think more rationally on it later

He simps for you so hard if you give him a massage. Hero work is tough ya know. He’s got a lot of tension in those shoulders and on his back. I mean, those wings are working overtime all day. Knead out all those knots in his muscles and oof you are getting his unmatched appreciation… and possibly his dick (because yeah, massages… get him really hard really fast)

He’s such a kisser. Kissing fiend. Serial kisser. Forehead kisses, nose kisses, NECK KISSES, throat kisses, hand kisses, thigh kisses (especially what‘s between your thighs)

He also cannot keep his teeth off of you: lots of nibbling and playful gnawing where he knows you’re most sensitive

That being said he tries REALLY hard not to leave hickies even though SHIT he really wants to sometimes. Sucking on that sensitive skin just below your ear reallllllllly gets him going. He wants to latch on and suck and bite while pressed up against you and just… wants to mark you up… whew it’s a struggle not to. His restraint is commendable

Oh and yes he WILL kiss your toes

Let him worship those feet and ankles alright

I’m not done talking about his kisses ok he’s such… a kissing expert. It’s unfair

You want slow, intimate, tentative kisses that get your body hot and tingly and anxious for more? He will deliver. He loves lazy makeouts, and the little teasing nip he gives to your bottom lip just kajshkfjhsd delicious

But oh, you want hungry, desperate, wet kisses too? Yes please. He knows exactly what he’s doing. No awkward lip-sucking and no awkward tongue-poking in your mouth; he takes the lead until you’re dizzy from just the kisses alone. And his hands are running all over you while he’s doing it. You don’t even know how he’s giving you so much attention because you can barely think of anything but his lips on you, let alone put your own hands to work. When you try to reciprocate and reach for his pants you’re fumbly and clumsy because damn his kisses are literally breath-taking. It’s okay though, he’ll take care of everything. King of multi-tasking

Just imagine him giving you little nibbling kisses along your jawline until he moves back up to your lips, and bites the bottom one gently while looking into your eyes skjdhkjdhgd

Hawks is very sorry but marriage is not really on his agenda any time soon, if ever. Just being your man is enough for him

In fact, please tell people he’s your man. Boyfriend, partner, lover, booty call… yeah those are fine too

But your man? God… He finds that… extremely fcking hot

He has home-cooked meals like twice a year. He does NOT have the time. Honestly he wishes he did have more time, because there’s only so much on-the-go street food he can manage before he starts getting sick of it. No matter how delicious it is

So if you happen to catch him when he’s free and wrangle him down for dinner, he’s shook. He feels absolutely PAMPERED when you cook for him. The food makes him drool but so does your cute ass cooking for him DAMN he feels so… he feels so Domestic™

You might need to… shoot him a text when you’re cooking next time so he can zoom by and grab a plate through your window. Domestic Fast Food. Give him that Scone App the Beef shit please he’s taking your food to go and he will bring the tupperware back later ok

His sidekicks look at him like… wtf?? when he returns to patrol with food. They’re like… Hawks, where did you get that? Where did you even go??

Him slurping his spaghetti: Uhhhhhhh sorry but I’m not sharing this

Oof it’s so hard for him when he’s missing you

He’s so horribly busy he’ll go weeks without so much as seeing your face. Every time he finds some spare time to go see you, even if it’s just twenty minutes, something comes up. He loves spending time with you but hero work has to come first

And forget keeping up through text or call. Sometimes he doesn’t have time for that either. Makes him feel like an asshole, and he gets these little pangs of anxiety when he thinks that you’ll start resenting him for his career, that you’ll start feeling neglected

He would definitely understand if that made you want to end the relationship though. It’s gonna hurt, but if that’s what you need, he understands—because those little pangs of anxiety aren’t just because he thinks you might leave him, but because he doesn’t want you to feel like you aren’t worth it

You are, you’re absolutely worth it and you’re absolutely a good and wonderful person. And he doesn’t want you to think otherwise just because he can’t give you what you deserve. Don’t let his busy lifestyle make you feel invalid because damnit he thinks you’re so valid and he tries so hard to let you know that

That being said… sorry, but he forgets birthdays sometimes

Doesn’t snore, even when he’s utterly exhausted, but just… sighs…. very cute-like

Otherwise he’s dead silent when he’s asleep, it’s almost scary. He’s alert at all times. Very light sleeper

One sound and he is 👁👄👁 awake

Lost his shit when he discovered snapchat filters because omg they’re so fun

When it comes to how soon he says I love you, it really depends

He falls fast and hard, which really throws him for a loop because he’s a composed and rational guy otherwise

He doesn’t have so much pride that he won’t tell you he loves you when he knows he means it. It’s just a matter of when he’s prepared to tell you

He doesn’t have one preferred nickname for you. He just has… so many. It’s like he spins a wheel every morning to decide what he’s going to call you

Sweetheart, honey, hon’, babe, baby, sweet thing, a simple girl/boy

The baby bird, chickadee, chick stuff is reserved for when he wants to see that sour, unamused look on your face because god they’re such corny nicknames and he knows it

Rainy days suck because they weigh his feathers down, make his wings harder to flap and thus all the more difficult to get around with. His quirk is next to useless when there’s heavy rain so he’s out of commission the whole day. Just sulks around his agency until the weather clears

But days of light showers are nice! Hawks loves giving his wings a little sprinkle, just a little cleanse. It’s so cute when he shakes the wings to dry them out

The first time he gets his heart broken… oof

He’s very socially adept due to his hero training. He’s also well-versed in flirting because that’s just part of the charisma he needs as a hero. Unfair as it might be he’s also not above charming people to get what he wants

But actual, truthful, organic romance?… He’s a little lost on that

So when he finds somebody he really comes to love, only for that love to be taken away, he’s completely floored. It rattles him and it’s a brutal reminder of the dangers of getting emotionally involved with other people when he’s got such a complicated, demanding life. The heartache is too much and he can’t focus and he hates it

It eats at him for a long time. Something’s changed. He doesn’t take sentiment for granted anymore. He comes to fully respect—also resent—the way love can utterly change perspective

Romantically inept as he may be sometimes, he’s… still an absolute SIMP of a man

Do not ever talk down to yourself when he’s around because he goes full cheerleader mode

He just wants to encourage you to find some of that self-love okay he thinks you’re fuckn PRECIOUS and DESERVING and AMAZING—how can you not see that you’re all those things???

He’s so proud when you start sticking up for yourself, or when you speak your mind. Even if it’s small, stupid things like actually telling the waiter that he brought you the wrong food instead of meekly going oh… ok… I guess I can eat this instead

like NO!! STICK UP FOR YOURSELF BABY!! He wants you to be the BEST you

And when he asks you “What do you feel like doing today?”, don’t even think about pulling some “Whatever you want to do, Hawks” bs on him because NOPE. Tell him what YOU want. Please don’t be afraid to have a voice ok because he loves it when you’re confident and clear with what you want

#hawks #takami keigo #hawks x reader #hawksy things

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lilikags · 3 years

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ೃ‧₊› a b o u t t h i s p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182

A/N: This is for @serowotonin! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.”

Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again…

“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through.

“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands.

You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then...

Miya Atsumu.

This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some.

Sincerest thanks, (y/n).

Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.

“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother.

“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”

“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed.

“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.”

----------------

“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked.

You smiled, “Dare.”

“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”

“I’m- okay then.”

You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare.

Dearest (y/n),

I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.

Most sincerely, Atsumu.

Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you.

When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.

Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too.

Miya Atsumu,

Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD

(y/n)

You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well.

(y/n),

Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever!

Atsumu.

You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter.

You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day.

When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with.

“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…”

“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”

“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”

“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.”

“I’m- no-”

“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”

“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.”

“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”

Pisshead Atsumu

LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.

(y/n)

When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt.

It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.

“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”

“Hey, ‘Samu… ya know how to fix this?”

“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”

“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!”

“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!”

“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.

Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment.

“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered.

“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.

“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.”

“But there’s nothin’ between us-”

“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”

“Yeah…”

(y/n),

Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?

M. Atsumu.

“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it.

“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one.

“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really.

When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out.

“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”

“Hmm… well, they already think that…”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”

“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”

“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”

“Ya.”

“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?”

“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago.

“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned.

“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…”

That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them?

Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too.

“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”

“Ya… a real wonder”

Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin @luna-la-ley // send me an ask if you would like to be added!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu imagines #miya atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu fluff #atsumu oneshot #atsumu fic #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq x you #hq love letters

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johnismyreason · 4 years

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Every night and every morning // John Shelby x Female!Reader

Hi everyone ! First of all I really hope you and your family are all doing fine. This quarantine sucks but it is much needed ! Don’t worry it won’t last. I hope that this will give you a little bit of joy if you know what I mean 😏 This is one is a request from @enjoy-the-destruction asking: “Wondering if you would do a smut based around the same time as Peaky and John manages to make the reader squirt for the first time? 🤞☺️ As many words as you like, as smutty as you like. You know I love your style 🥰” Thank you again girl for the request ! I had fun writing this piece :)

Words: 3k wtf ?

Warnings: smutty smut smut, fingering, oral (fem receiving), squirt, fluff, tiny bit of angst, bad English because your girl is French

YOU MUST BE 18+ TO READ THIS

It was such a good night. You hadn't shared one like this with John in a long time. He was always here and there, dealing with some “serious business”, as he always says, with his brothers. The rare evenings you spent together were usually late nights actually, when he’s done with his family. You always come second, and it started to really bother you.

“John, it’s 2 in the morning, what the hell are you doing here ?” you yawned, annoyed he made you get up from you bed.

“I just wanted to see my favourite girl” he grinned trying to step in your apartment. He frowned when he realised you’re not letting him in. “What’s going on ?”

“I’m working early tomorrow and I’m tired.” you stomped clearly wishing for this conversation to end so you can go back to sleep.

“It’s alright love, I can just lay in your bed with you, we’re not forced to make love.” he caressed your cheek but you moved your head to let his hand fall.

“I’m not just tired physically, John” you sighed. “I’m tired mentally because I always come second. You come see me only when you are done with your family and your job. I’m never your number one priority. Never. You knock on my door in the middle of the night, waking me up and expect me to let you in so you can have your fuck and leave in the early morning. And I’m dumb because I always let you in, because I love you.” You were whispering so fast to not wake the whole building up, that you were out of breath. Also because your heart was beating so fast. You didn’t know if it was because you were angry or because it was simply John who had this effect on you everytime you see him. Maybe a little bit of both.

John was caught out of surprise. He didn’t know you were feeling like this. “Love, you’re not my second priority. You’re my family you’re-”

“Am I now ?” you cut him on the verge of crying. He saw your eyes glistening because of the tears that were threatening to fall, so he cupped your face with his reassuring hands.

“Of course. Look, I am so sorry if I made you feel like you were not important to me. You’re the most precious thing I have in my life. I’m so sorry, please, Y/N let me make it up, I-” you broke free from his grip, letting a tear run down his fingers as you go.

“You should go.” you just said, avoiding his eyes.

“Y/N, love” he tried to reach for you again, but you stepped back.

“Go.” you choked a sob. He tried to catch your eyes one last time before going. You closed the door and heard his footsteps go down the stairs.

The next day you got prepared for work. You hated being late so you always make sure to wake up early enough to have all the time you need. Everything was calculated. You grabbed your bag and opened the door only to see John standing outside your apartment. You jumped out of surprise.

“Jesus !” you gasped, a hand on your chest. “John…” he had a big smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers, your favourite, in his hands.

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t want to scare you I was about to knock on the door”

“What are you doing here ?” you asked, still happy to see him even after last night.

He handed you the flowers and you tried your hardest to hide your smile. “I want to take you out tonight. Just us. At a regular hour of the evening.” You puffed a shy laugh. “Like before. Please, Y/N, say yes.” You looked at him and couldn’t resist to his beautiful blue eyes.

“Alright.” you ceded. John breathed again, a relieved smile spread on his face. He kissed you hard, crushing the flowers between your bodies.

“Mmm John ! The flowers !” you said your lips squeezed on his. You both laughed as he let you go put them in a vase. When you come back, John grabbed you by the hips and kissed you. Again and again, until you broke it.

“John, I’m going to be late for wo-” he cut you with another kiss making you forget what you were saying.

“Who cares about work, love ?” he mumbled against your rosy lips.

“Well I do, and I’m surprised to hear you say that” you responded taping his shoulder playfully. He rolled his eyes amused and let you go.

“Lemme walk you there, eh ?” he proposed caressing your cheek with his thumb. You smiled brightly and nodded, closing the door behind you.

When you walk outside, John automatically took your hand. Gosh, you missed him. And he missed you too. Everything looked so normal. You and him, walking hand in hand in the streets, goofing around, like a normal couple. Almost normal. He described you what he is going to be up to today and that was what brung you back to almost normal. You didn’t really like his “family business”, always worried he wouldn’t come back from it. But he does, so you try to not think a lot about it. You arrived at the clothing shop you’re working to. John spun you around so that your chest meets his. You giggled looking at him and his goofiness.

“I see you tonight, huh ?” he says with a smirk and a velvet voice, giving you chills. You nodded biting your lips and kissed him softly but he deepened it. You chuckled and let him go, pushing him away slightly. “Seven o’clock” he reminded you pointing his fingers and walking backwards.

“I know ! Leave now” you chuckled before entering the shop.

At seven o’clock sharp, John knocked on your door. He didn’t want to let one minute slips away of this night with you. The draught from the doorway when you opened it took with it your perfume that intoxicated John. He discovered you in a lavender dress, hair in its natural state with a hair clip on the side, the one he offered you for your last birthday. You were breathtaking and he was speechless.

“Love, you are…” he tried to find compliments but all of them were not enough to describe you. You smiled, feeling your cheeks becoming rosy.

“It’s a dress from the new collection at the shop. Thought I’d might buy it for our date. Do you like it ?” you asked shyly. He took your hand to make you twirl so he can take an overall look.

“You look like heaven, Y/N. I can’t believe you're my girl” he pulled you against his chest to place a chaste kiss on your forehead before adding one more passionate on your lips. He locked his eyes on yours, remembering every color nuances they have. “Let’s go ?” you nodded and followed him to his car which he opened for you and helped you climb in.

It was such a good night. You had dinner in this new fancy and very romantic restaurant in town, laughing, sharing everything you two missed from the other, drinking wine. You hadn’t have a night like this in a long time. Since your fourth date actually, and you’ve been together for two years now. John offered you to leave the restaurant and ending the night at his house, which you agreed.

You both stumbled in his house, laughing too hard on a joke John made. You took off your coats and laughed some more making your way to the living room. He walked towards you, catching you in his arms to steady you. You tried to catch your breath back when he cupped your delicate face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. He stared at you so lovingly, your heart stopped for a moment.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry you thought you were not important to me. I should have said no to Tommy when he called me. Spend more time with you, showing you how much I can’t live without you. I’m sorry, love.” He brushed away a strand of hair behind your ear. “I promise I will make things change to be with you more often. Every night and every morning, actually”.

Your heart sped up to his oath. “Really ?” you searched for a lie in his eyes but you didn’t find it.

“Really.” He kissed you softly and then more intensely, sliding his large hands to your waist and hips. You whined at his touch and felt your heat rising. John groaned when your fingers scrapped his hairless scalp. “Let me show you how much important you are to me, love, ‘right ?” you kissed him in response and let him lead the movements.

He lifted you in his muscular arms that always make you feel safe and protected, and climbed the stairs to the bedroom, while you explored his neck with your lips. He then put your feet back on the ground once you reached the room, at the bottom of the bed. Catching your lips with his, he started to undress you. His fingers were soft, never failing to give you chills, unbuttoning the back of your dress. When he flipped the last one, you slipped your hand under the sleeve on your shoulder to help him take it off.

“Don’t.” he stopped you, breaking the kiss. “Let me undress you. Let me make you feel good. Please” his last word expelled in a sigh, almost like a pray. You removed your hand to let him have full access to your body. He picked up his kiss from where he'd left it and he made your dress flow over your skin like a river, living you in only your undergarments. They were white and delicate. As soon as he put his eyes on you, he imagined what your wedding night would look like.

“Sweetheart…” he attempted to say something but he words died on lips when you connected yours. “You want to take off my clothes ?” he suggested.

“Yes…” you whispered. You started with his vest throwing it away in a hurry.

“Easy, naughty girl” he chuckled, “Take your time, we’ve got all night”. You took a deep breath and forced your movements to slow down.

You unbuttoned his dress shirt and caressed his torso, feeling every inch of his hot skin, from his V-line to his chest and shoulders, finally resting your hands on the back of his neck, pulling him towards you to kiss him. When your mouths played together, that’s when you decided to take off his shirt fully exposing his upper body. Oh how you loved this part of his body. Toned, broad, warm, freckles all over. You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. You trailed small and wet kisses all over his chest, shoulders, arms and abs, before unfasten his belt and his pants button. Your delicate fingers grazing his lower belly skin gave him an electric discharge of desire that he restrained his hardest with a grunt.

“Fuck… Y/N… How do you do to always drive me crazy ?” you gave him an innocent look in response confirming his question. You pushed his pants and underpants all the way to his ankles. When you got up you made sure that your lower lip leave an unholy wet trail along his shaft making him lose his mind. “Oooh…” he exhaled in a groan “Y/N… You don’t fucking know what you’re up to”. And how true was that.

John took your legs and wrapped them around him to make you both fall on the bed. He was eager almost hungry. Kissing every bit of your skin while taking off your bra, biting your nipples, sucking hickeys, making you moaning mess. You felt hot spots growing everywhere he put his lips on your body.

“You sound like an angel, baby” you moaned again “Look at you, so fucking beautiful” he guided his hand from your breast to your lower belly, stopping right above your pulsating clit.

“John, please…”

“What do you want, love ?” he whispered in your ear sending shivers on your scalp. “Is it my fingers ? Or my mouth ?” he teased.

“Mmm both ! John baby, I want both…” you begged.

“As you wish” he said in a raspy voice, before sliding in your panties and between your pussy lips. His long middle finger spread your arousal on your folds and started to circle your clit. He aligned his mouth with your cunt, you moaned feeling his hot breath against it. He removed his finger from your clit and placed his tongue instead.

“John…” you whined “I said I want both” you pleaded. He introduced one finger in your pussy travelling back and forth.

“Is it better, love” he hummed against your clit.

“Mmm, two fingers p-please..” he added the second finger earning from you a loud gasp when they hit your sweet spot. “Fuck John, it’s so amazing, gosh…” He kept his work with his tongue and fingers, giving you all the pleasure you need. John knew when you were close by the way you were breathing and moaning, that’s why when your breathing was more jerky and you whines louders, he accelerated his pace.

“Come on baby girl, cum for me. First orgasm of the night, there's more to come. Cum all over my tongue and fingers like the good girl that you are” his words stimulated you and you came undone on his now puffed lips and soaked fingers, screaming his name.

You tried to catch back your breath but John decided you had enough time off. He kissed you so you can taste yourself “Taste fantastic honey, huh ? Always so fucking delicious for me” he mumbled against your neck. You felt his hard cock against your sensitive core, playing unintentionally with your clit. John grabbed it and pushed it in you, both of you moaning and grunting.

“John, oh god ! Please…”

“You want me to move, darling ? Want me to fuck you ?” he groaned above your lips. You pathetically nodded wanting him more than ever. He started his pace slow but not for long. He also wanted you desperately. He moved faster and faster until you both reached your high.

“Jo-John, fuck ! I’m gonna cummm…” you fought to say, your legs around him and your nails scratching his back trying to hold onto something, making him go even crazier.

“Gotcha baby doll… cum for me eh ? Please cum for me, ffffuck your pussy is unbelievable !” his thrusts were rougher more animalistic, giving you your second orgasm of the night. You screamed his name, lost in curse words. However John didn’t stop, chasing his own release.

“Gonna help me cum, love ? Huh ?” he locked your nipple between his lips feeling your soft skin on his mouthfeel and tongue. To help him cum, he quickly changed positions, pounding you from behind you on all four, or on your back legs up, on your stomach face down.

He switched one last time the position, on your back your legs spread and his hands holding your knees. “I want to see your beautiful face, Y/N. Want to see how much I make you feel good when I’m fucking hard that pretty pussy of yours” you couldn’t respond, it was impossible, not when he was pounding into you this good.

“Fuck, you’re the best thing I have Y/N love… The best fucking thing…” he was grunting so loud like a beast. You felt a knot in your stomach but this one was different from the others. It was more intense, like a fire ball burning inside of you. You rolled your eyes back, mouth open wide, and let your orgasm wash over you, in the same time than John’s. You shot your eyes open when you felt your body producing something you never did before. You squirted. All over John’s torso. You're inhaling heavily not understanding what just happened. You looked at John’s face who had the biggest grin and proud look on his face.

“Wh-what… Honey, I’m sorry, I don’t know-” you stuttered embarrassed, trying to wipe your ejaculation off of his body. He took your small wrist in his big hand to stop you.

“Well baby girl, I can assure you that I’m gonna be way more often at home now that I know how to make you squirt” he smirked pulling you closer to him to kiss you delicately. “Come on love, gotta clean up” he whispered softly. The John who was bestial two minutes ago was now the most gentle being on earth. He actually was like this most of the time with you.

“I-I can’t… my legs…” he smiled to you and left the bed to go the bathroom to take a wet towel. He delicately removed all traces of what had just happened off of your body, kissing you here and there to relax you, before doing the same on him. He threw the towel away and laid next to you, embracing you his arms. He waited to hear your soft and regular respirations signaling him that you were sleeping before letting himself rest.

The next morning, you woke up before him, in the exact same position that you fell asleep the previous night. You moved a little to admire him. He looked so peaceful and divine. Your heart beating faster at the thought of seeing him like this more often now. John felt your glare on him and opened slowly his eyes.

“Good morning, love” he whispered in a smile and pecked your lips.

Yes, you really could get used to this.

#John Shelby #John Shelby x reader #Joe Cole #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #john shelby smut #john shelby x reader smut #john shelby one shot #peaky linders request #smut

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anotherhamiltonblog · 4 years

Text

Foreign Touch ch 3

Chapter Summary: Y/N has a special name for our Thomas on Facebook! Will these two finally talk?

Warnings: Once again, I didn’t proofread. Sorry <3 minor cursing?(Is cursing a warning? like wtf.)

Word Count: 1,450 (Give or take)

Previously

Enjoy!

After the dream with Jefferson, Y/N found herself always watching him when they were in the same class. Even at the game Friday night, as the cheerleaders were cheering for the team, Y/N’s eyes watched Number 17 with the name “Jefferson” on the back. The dream made it so she would look at the bushy, curly haired jock and blush. Y/N hated herself for blushing.

Surprisingly he never did try to talk with Y/N after the text messaging he had sent her. Y/N actually had her eyes peeled for him just in case he tried to talk with her.

Yet when the game was finally over, their team winning. Everyone was celebrating. Y/N was being invited to the after parties, yet Y/N couldn’t. She had a early morning and a busy weekend ahead of her. With tutoring and helping Alex with his campaign. She waved to the other cheerleaders before gathering her things.

“Y/N! Thought I missed you!” A familiar voice said from beside her and Y/N froze, wide eyed.

Thomas.

The very same man she wanted to avoid. How could she stand in front of him after that dream?

“Jefferson! Get away from my sister!” A voice called from far away. It was enough to distract the football player and allow Y/N to slip away quickly.

Rushing to her car, face red as a tomato. Y/N let out a breath she didn’t realize she was even holding in before getting into her car.

»»-————　♡　————-««

Laying around the living room floor, Y/N was eating some popcorn as Alex, John, Herc and Laf were all on the couch watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

“I think… my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms…” Y/N said randomly with a sigh and rubbed at her eyes. Visibly tired, hair still damp from her shower. Wearing a pair of black slim sweatpants and a black tee-shirt with the cookie monster on the front of it. Y/N looked over at her friends.

“I just ate a whole bag of the gummy worms, Y/N” Lafayette said, holding up the empty bag to prove it.

Gasping, sitting up. Y/N placed a hand on her chest. “You ATE my soulmate? You asshole.” She tossed a throw pillow that was on the floor at the boy and they laughed.

Yawning, Y/N stood up and rubbed her eyes. “I’m off to sleep. Night guys.” She waved and moved to the stairs and quickly made way to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, Y/N crawled in bed and grabbed her phone. Only to sigh and seeing that Thomas had sent her various messes on Facebook messenger. Why did he have to come to her for help? Y/N had enough on her plate to add one more person to help. Honestly.

With a sigh, she sent a message, hoping it would get him to back off. Honestly, why did everyone want Y/N to help them? Surely there were other smart people at the school.

When he called her, Y/N frowned and moved so she was sitting on her desk chair and accepted the call. Putting on her earphones so no one would hear Thomas Jefferson of all people talking to her.

“Ok. What the hell do you want?” Y/N asked, getting right to the point.

Only to narrow her eyes at Thomas’ smiling face.

‘at least his smile is nice…. and a cute dog’

Shaking her head from that thought. Y/N sighed. “Come on, I want to sleep.”

“RIGHT! First, are you ok?“ Thomas asked, catching Y/N by surprise that he seemed to actually be worried about her. After Y/N nodded, assuring him was was fine. Thomas went back to why he was bothering her in the first place.

“SO, my parents, they are going to be celebrating Twenty-Five years of marriage… the silver anniversary.” Thomas sighed. “A few birdies in school said you usually plan the Hamilton’s parties… and I’ve been to some of those with my parents. You’re good. I was hoping to… hire you to help me plan a party for my parents.” He raised an eyebrow and Y/N frowned.

That was the last thing she expected him to say. Sitting there on her chair, Y/N was thinking about it. Maybe doing some planning could be a good thing?

With a sigh, she eyed Thomas on her phone screen. “Fine, I’ll help you.” She agreed and couldn’t help but smile when he did. The man had an incredible smile.

“Thank you so much for this. I’ll pay you for your service. No need to worry about it. OK?”

“Jefferson, chill out. We’ll talk about money another time…” Y/N rolled her eyes smiling. “Aren’t you supposed to be partying?” she changed the subject and glanced at the time. Usually at midnight everyone at the game who was at the party were wasted by this time.

“Nah, my parents took me out for a big celebration dinner.” He shrugged. “Why didn’t you go?”

Y/N shrugged and looked around her room. “Have too much to do tomorrow. Didn’t want to be hungover for it.” She simply stated before tilting her head. “Hey, do you think I should put fairy lights around my room?” Y/N randomly asked Thomas.

That’s how the two spent the next hour and a half. Talking while her phone was resting up against her desk pointing at her bed and she was stringing lights up around her room.

“Yo... your room is so much cooler than mine.” Thomas snorted once Y/N had finished and was laying on her bed holding her phone.

“I don’t doubt it. I do have better taste.” She smirked and winked at the male before laughing. “OK, I am going to get off now and actually sleep. I’ll… unblock your number tomorrow and we’ll talk about the party. Deal?” she raised an eyebrow.

Once they both agreed to that, said their goodnights with little smiles. Y/N rolled her eyes when Thomas ruined it.

“Dream of me, I know I’ll be dreaming of you.”

Of course, that just got Y/N to hang up on him instead of actually replying.

“Cocky asshole… ugh.” Y/N muttered as she turned off the lights and closed her eyes. After minutes of rolling around to find a comfortable position. Y/N finally fell asleep.

“Oooh, Thomas!” Y/N yelled out as she walked around a house with a huge smile on her face.

“COME FIND ME!” a voice called back and Y/N just laughed before going on a search throughout the home.

It wasn’t until ten minutes of looking for the tall doofus she felt hands on her waist and her sides were being tickled.

“NOO!” she squealed and quickly got away, giggling. Turning and glaring at the man, she crossed her arms over her chest. “You asshole!”

“Aww, I’m sorry sweetheart.” Thomas pouted and stepped forward. His hands returning to her waist, their foreheads touching and small smiles on both of their lips. “But hey, you found me!” he wiggled his eyebrows and Y/N just laughed.

“Yeah, whatever. Lunch is ready.” She tried to get out of his grasp. Yet, Y/N found herself pressed up against the wall.

Thomas softly kissing her cheek. “Fine… we’ll pick up after we regain our energy.”

As the two walked towards the kitchen, Y/N glanced up at Thomas. “Hey, can I have a kiss?”

Thomas, with a smirk on his face shrugged. “I dunno, Y/N… CAN you?” he asked, and Y/N’s mouth fell.

After about a minute of silence, Thomas sensing he fucked up, gulped.

“Guess I can’t.” she shrugged and walked to the kitchen, leaving Thomas standing in the doorway.

“Y/N… babe, I was just kidding.” He laughed and followed after her.

“Yeah? Pity, I don’t want your kisses anymore.” She simply said as she sat to have to tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich, she made for them.

Not having it, Thomas turned her chair around and lifted Y/N head with his finger under her chin. “Come on, baby girl… gimme a kiss?” he smiled and the two met in the middle. Lips softly brushing against one another.

Once again Y/N woke up gasping and her hand flew to her lips. “What the heck…” she mumbled and rubbed her tired eyes. Checking the time and seeing it was a little past Four am. Y/N fell back against her pillows and sighed. Wondering what the hell was up with her dreams. She could NOT have a crush on Thomas Jefferson.

Streets away, Thomas was laying in his own bed. Thinking about both the dream and the girl in his dream. Surely it meant something… they talked, and he dreamt of her. Of course, he woke up as soon as they kissed. But it HAD to mean…. Something!

Next Chapter

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175 notes · View notes

knightofameris · 4 years

Text

passionfruit yakult — oikawa tooru

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛: Neutral 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜: boba shop au, enemies to lovers muahah, cursing, college au as well????, there’s a guy who is really pushy towards making a move on you so almost kinda sexual harrassment, *slaps fic* this baby can hold all the tropes huh, tbH THIS SHOULD BE A LONG FIC BUT UHHHHHHHH, LOTS of cursing. WILL PROOFREAD TOMORROW. 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 3.1𝚔 (my longest one wtf)

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍: passionfruit yakult 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 Ding Tea 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔!

⇽ 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 ◜𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚋𝚘𝚋𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚞◞

Mornings for you weren’t that bad. Actually, you kinda liked mornings (even if you slept late the night before). It’s always a bit cathartic for you when you’re able to wake up early enough to watch the world wake up before your eyes. Plus, the whole thing makes you feel a bit more productive for being able to wake up early. Though, some days are worse than others. Don’t let that deter you, though, sleeping in doesn’t make you any less productive. As long as everyone here is getting the right amount of sleep and not listen to what society deems as productive, you’re doing just fine.

Except, mornings are bad. For one reason only. Working the first shift meant preparing the shop an hour before it opened every morning.

Wake up at seven, lay in bed on your phone for a few minutes, set some music on your speakers, do a bit of morning yoga. Then brush your teeth, eat, get dressed, and pack your bag full of things you’d need for classes along with a change of clothes and it’s already nine. You liked to take your time getting ready in the morning. Get to the train station and clock in to work at ten.

But every morning, every god damn morning when you’d clock in at ten o’clock there’d be some sort of mess. The floor wasn’t mopped, maybe. Or the cups weren’t stacked in their rightful spots. Perhaps there were dishes left over that still needed cleaning. Or, mayhaps, the screens for the menu were left on for some reason? You could go on about it.

Whoever worked the night shifts was surely out to get you. You were sure of it. They just wanted to piss you off for no reason other than to make you hate mornings, because you’re one of the few that actually like mornings!

“I swear to god,” you mutter angrily, “I’m gonna murder the evening shift people.”

This morning, they decided to forget to mop the floors. Or rather, they forgot to do it last night.

“I feel like the more they glare at the floor, the floor’s going to get destroyed,” Yukie said, eating her onigiri as she sat on one of the chairs. She had already finished her morning duties.

Akaashi sighed, about to step in to take over before Bokuto bounded towards you instead.

“Hey, hey, hey! Let me mop the floors instead, we still got a few more minutes before the store opens so just relax!” Bokuto grinned at you, his hands outreached for the mop in your hands. Staring at him with his bubbly and energetic personality relaxed you. Of course, your fellow morning shift coworkers had a distaste towards whoever it was that left the place messy the night before, but you were the one that found it most frustrating. Considering the fact that you’ve left notes for them.

Taking a deep breath, you hand the mop to Bokuto and thank him before walking towards Akaashi who simply stood behind the counter with his hands clasped behind his back. His watchful eyes stayed on your form. The anger that was in you earlier had dissipated. Finally, Akaashi could relax instead of figuring out a way to keep you from aggressively making drinks.

“Do we know who even works the night shift?” You asked, fiddling with the laptop that played the music throughout the shop.

“Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro, and Matsukawa Issei,” Akaashi says off the top of his head. “You should really look at the schedule more often.”

You shoot a glare at Akaashi but he remains unfazed. But it surprises you that you didn’t know that pretty boy Oikawa Tooru was the one leaving a mess. Okay sure it can be one of the others or all four of them but the “pretty boy” never sat right with you with his fan club.

“Isn’t Oikawa-san that one pretty boy with a fan club on campus?” Yukie questioned, her onigiri long finished.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah! He plays volleyball with me,” Bokuto said, pushing the mop cart back to the janitorial closet. “I think he also played for his team back in high school. Aoba Johsai?” Akaashi nodded his head in confirmation.

You raise a brow at them, “Don’t you play volleyball Akaashi?” You slightly recall the times Yukie, Bokuto, and Akaashi have talked about going back to their high school to visit underclassmen or their training camps to see how Hinata and Tsukki were doing, whoever they were.

“Yes, but now that we’re in university I don’t play anymore, so I’ve never met Oikawa-san or the others.”

“Ah,” you slightly tilt your head back in realization. “That makes sense.”

A tapping on the door interrupted the conversation and all of your heads turn to the glass doors. It’s a customer, an older one, who simply points at his non-existent watch on his wrist.

“Oops, it’s time to open up shop,” Yukie declared and all four of you went into motion to get started for the day, music began to play through the speakers of the shop.

***

You were always the first of the four to leave from the first shift, since you had less of a gap between the end of the shift to the class you always had after. But fortunately, next semester you were able to find class times that better suited your schedule.

Sitting in the lecture hall, grabbing the necessary items you’d need for the next hour out of your bag, you see Konoha making his way over to you. You met him in one of your classes your first year, but found it surprising that he also happened to be friends with Bokuto and the others since high school.

But the first few sentences he said to you that day probably ruined your week.

“Did you check the schedule of classes?” Your scrunched up face gave him the answer he needed. “The next class for the physics series next semester was moved to the afternoon instead of evening, so you’re gonna have to change shifts.”

“What?!”

Letting out a loud groan, Konoha gave you a sympathetic look, knowing how much you hated the night shift people you always talked about.

***

Getting through the last part of the semester was difficult but not impossible. Sleepless nights spent at the library studying, cramming, working, and of course trying your best to keep calm while cleaning up the mess from the previous night shifts at Ding Tea. Oh right, and telling the manager you’ll be needing a change in shifts.

It worked out well, luckily one of the workers from the night shift also had to change schedules so you simply changed with them. Iwaizumi Hajime. From what you hear around campus, he’s the only one who can keep the reins on Oikawa. So you were wondering how in the world working with Oikawa was going to be like, especially without him.

Oikawa let out a whine on his way to work with his other three friends. Except, Iwaizumi was the only one not wearing the work clothes, considering he was heading to class instead.

“Iwa-chan, why did you have to switch shifts, now we have to deal with one of the morning shift workers.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes with a scowl on his face, “Shut it Crappykawa, there’s four of them so we don’t even know if this person in particular is the one leaving the mess.”

“Still! If I have to deal with cleaning up spilled boba from the floor again, I will-”

“What do you mean, I always end up cleaning the spilled boba,” Matsukawa comments. Iwaizumi whacks Oikawa on the back of his head, saying he had no right to complain if he wasn’t the one cleaning it up before he ended up needing to part from them.

“See ya,” Hanamaki and the others waved at him. “Wish us luck keeping Oikawa under control.”

“Just give him a good smack on the head, it’ll be fine,” Iwaizumi smirked and turned around, heading towards class. Hanamaki and Matsukawa exchanged glances, a silent conversation between the two of them as Oikawa spent the rest of the walk depressed and rubbing the back of his head. When they approached the store they saw you already inside, working diligently to prepare the shop, a few customers already coming by.

As the three boys head into the shop through the back to clock in, you immediately shoot them a glare. But most of it goes towards Oikawa, who gets the sudden chills down his spine.

“You’re late.”

Then a smile appears on your face, greeting the customers after you turn your head away from them.

“Well, this will be fun,” Hanamaki comments, grinning as he puts on his apron to help you out in the front.

Oikawa points towards you half-heartedly as he looks up to Matsukawa, “I feel like they already hate me, what did I do Mattsun?”

Matsukawa simply shrugs, “If Iwaizumi was here he’d just say it’s because of your fanclub.”

“They’re just jealous I have girls and boys and everyone else falling for me,” Oikawa turns his nose up, also heading towards the front since they all knew with his face in the front, they’d definitely get more customers.

***

“Stop making a mess Shitty-kawa! Clean it up next time!”

“Oi! Where’d you get that from? Iwa-chan?!”

“No one wants you here, Oink-kawa.”

“Wh-wha- Excuse me, we get more customers because of me. And Oink-kawa?!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re a pig.”

“You’re the one that made me hate mornings, and now I hate the entire day because I know I have to work with you!”

“You’re just jealous tha-”

“No.”

Matsukawa walked up to Hanamaki who was preoccupied on his phone. You, however, marched past Matsukawa and Hanamaki into the back with an angry huff. It was always entertaining to see the Iwaizumi and Oikawa argue, but the two of you had something... Different?

To be quite honest, the two of them were tired of your arguing, especially as the semester came to an end. And Iwaizumi was tired of hearing the two of them complain about you and Oikawa, and then Oikawa complaining about you.

“Hey,” Hanamaki shifted his phone for Matsun to see, “there’s a party tomorrow night.”

Matsukawa raised a brow, “We have work tomorrow.”

Hanamaki gave him a pointed look, “Do you really want to deal with them?”

Matsukawa glanced over at Oikawa fuming at the front then over to you, angrily shoving and reorganizing the boxes in the back. Meeting his strawberry-blonde friend’s eyes, his decision was made.

***

“Sorry guys,” their manager, gave you and Oikawa a pitied look with a shrug as she prepared to leave after checking in. “Matsukawa-kun and Hanamaki-kun never took a sick day so I gave it to them. No one else could come in and besides, it’s Thursday. Not a lot of people come in on Thursdays.”

You tried reaching for and arguing with your manager but she narrowly avoided your hand when she made it through the door to escape the bickering she only ever wanted to hear about, but never experience it.

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak until you raised your finger up in the air, silencing him immediately.

“I’ll work front, you stay in the back.”

And for once, Oikawa didn’t have the energy to try to retort.

At this point, the two of you just learned to sorta put up with each other. It was hard, but it was necessary. And, you would never admit to it out loud, but you were getting tired of being angry all the time. And yet, you still always let yourself be angry at him.

Because he was annoying.

Even when he talked about volleyball and wanting to be the best and to finally beat that Ushiwaka guy or outsmart Kageyama. Okay you’ll admit, his passion is pretty incredible. But Oikawa was annoying.

That’s it.

Final.

Luckily, your manager was right. Today was a slow day but it was a slower day than usual. Which you couldn’t complain about. It’ll be boring, sure, but it’ll be easy. You just wished that Hanamaki and Matsukawa were there. They were funny, and you liked talking to them.

The front door opened with a ring and you and Oikawa both called out, welcoming the man that walked in. You didn’t pay any mind to him, just another customer and he seemed to be someone who was a college kid.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” You tried putting on your best smile and the man arched a brow.

“Uh, the signature is fine.”

“Sure thing, what size?”

“Large. No boba.”

“Alright, and will that be all?” After typing in his order, you look back up, the fake customer service smile still painted on your face.

“How about your number?”

You blinked. The guy wasn’t necessarily bad looking, but the more he stared at you the more you got a weird vibe from him.

You chuckled nervously, “Uhm, sorry-” you tried coming up with an excuse as to why you didn’t want to give him your number.

“Come on, baby,” he placed his hands onto the counter, leaning in towards you as you froze in place, “I can be your sugar daddy, how about that? You don’t have to work in this place and all you have to do wou-”

“Excuse me sir, we have the right to deny anyone service and I think you need to leave.”

The man glanced behind you and you saw him visibly shiver before he stood straight up. It seemed as if the man was debating whether or not he wanted to try to argue.

“The door is right there,” Oikawa placed his hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Please leave.”

Looking up at Oikawa, there was a sort of deadly gaze with his eyes being overshadowed that would’ve made you shit your pants but knowing it wasn’t directed at you but rather this man, it made you feel safe. And the way he spoke, it was lower than usual, but filled with a sense of authority.

Taking in Oikawa’s figure made you realize how tall he was and how fit he got from volleyball. His shoulders were incredibly broad and the squeeze was firm yet it didn’t hurt.

The ringing of the bell from the front door brought you out of your daze as Oikawa’s face softened when looking at you.

“Are you alright?” Oikawa asked, his chocolate-brown eyes searching yours. When you don’t reply he says your name.

You suddenly take a step back, away from him and glance off to the side.

“Ye-yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure, you’re shaking.” Oikawa took another step towards you, placing both of his hands gently on your quivering shoulders. You didn’t even notice you were shaking.

Oikawa’s thankful that you don’t step away from him. To be honest, he was surprised you didn’t retort back at the man. At the same time, however, the vibes the man gave even made Oikawa himself uncomfortable.

“Here,” Oikawa began pushing you towards a chair and sat you down, “I’ll close up shop but just sit here for now.”

“What? But-”

“It’s almost closing time, it’ll be fine~!” His cheery voice coming back easily. Usually it’d piss you off but, you’re more than glad that he’s trying to make you feel better, safe.

Oikawa went off, locking the front door and turning off the open sign. The setter began humming as he prepared some drinks. Watching him was always interesting. This time it was rather relaxing. You’ve always known Oikawa was a hard worker, as you could tell from when he talked about volleyball and what Bokuto always talked about. But he was a hard worker in every aspect. He charmed customers and he made drinks exceptionally fast and accurately.

To be honest, you actually didn’t even notice he made any messes. And in your experience with his fan club members always coming in to the boba shop, they were genuinely nice people and he was nice to them as well.

You let out a groan. You had an image to uphold, you couldn’t go back on what happened in the beginning when you said you hated him.

But then he placed a drink in front of you and sat across from you, sipping on his own drink.

You eyed it warily, then looked back up at him as if you were asking him what it was.

“Passionfruit yakult. With boba, it's usually too sweet and I noticed you don’t like too sweet drinks so it’s half sugar.”

Grabbing the drink, you pierced the top with a straw and drank it. Though, you’ve never had it, it was good. You were also pleasantly surprised that he even remembered your preferences.

Wait.

No, you weren’t pleasantly surprised.

God, you wanted to rip your hair out.

You set the drink back down, chewing and gulping the boba in your mouth.

“Thank you, by the way,” you murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

He hummed in response, “The man was being a creep. If it were me however, you’d be fallin-ack!”

You whacked him across the head, but a smile sat on your lips as your fingers settled to caress the boba drink on the table.

Oikawa rubbed his head, about to make a retort but instead stared at you. Oikawa found that he liked it when you smiled. He kinda wanted to make you smile some more.

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒:

At the end of every morning shift...

“Bokuto-san, make sure you clean up the mess before you leave,” Akaashi called out, grabbing his things before heading off to class.

Bokuto waved his friend good bye with a grin on his face. And as the boy cleaned up the shop, he somehow forgot to clean up said mess.

At the end of every night shift...

“Are we really just going to leave this mess?”

“They do it to us, so,” Hanamaki shrugged at Matsukawa. The brunet raised a brow then snorted, shutting off the lights before following his friend to the station.

𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚢, 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗!

𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: look.... There was a plot hole and it doesn’t line up with boba shops but let’s just assume that there’s like an hour between the morning/night shift where the store is closed and that’s how they’ve never interacted....(i’ve only worked in a ramen shop adn that’s how it worked there ahdjfkhasdf and i foRGOT OKAY I JUST... IT NEEDED TO MAKE SENSE)

#oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru x male!reader #oikawa tooru x neutral!reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru fluff #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa tooru x you #haikyuu fluff #enemies to lovers #ameris' boba shop #a.writes #a.bobashop #💜.oikawa

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aerinmelina · 4 years

Text

I replied to this comment, however I feel this warrants an explanation via post as well.

I was speaking from a sleep-deprived, PMS-ing, worried mother state when I threatened to leave. My youngest child broke his arm just earlier this week and he’s trying to Spider-Man crawl up things while I frantically pull him off of walls and tables and kitchen islands and whatever else he’s been getting into (or onto). I might take a break from the Fablehaven fandom once in a while going forward, but I don’t see myself as fully leaving unless the drama continues full speed ahead and becomes a permanent fixture. I love you all too much to really leave, and this book series has meant so much to me for so long.

I said what I said out of frustration and hurt. @fairyprincesskendra is one of my closest friends, and the anon hate she’s been receiving has set my hair standing straight up. (Seriously, anon, go curl up in a hole and die. Take your shameful self away from this website and all others forever.) This girl means the world to me. She’s helped me through so much of my suffering. She’s listened to me moan and whine and cry about my ex and all of the crap that he still puts me through even now, and she’s done it with an open and accepting heart. She’s given me hugs when I’ve needed them. She’s helped talk me through anxiety attacks when the world of single parenting with traumatized children + traumatized self has been too overwhelming to handle. We’ve spent time painting our nails and playing board games and staying up late at night and co-writing fics (which we still need to finish at some point) and laughing about ridiculous hc’s and driving through the forest near her home and ordering way too much food when we’re out and... and... and... the list goes on.

It hurts me to think that some random person with an unhealthy agenda could be so cruel to someone who means so much to me. I don’t care what people say or think about me - that’s their issue, not mine. But for someone to attack one of my friends like that? It hurts. And I don’t think I’m the only person who feels hyper-sensitive about this right now. A whole bunch of us love her. She’s a wonderful friend and a good person.

The anon hate plus the appearance of another blog which held a similar atmosphere and overall feel as her own shitpost blog was a little much to handle all at about the same time. My understanding is that the new shitpost blog did not plagiarize her work, but the feelings between posts were eerily similar, and the overall aesthetic of the new blog was also close to Erin’s.

I felt it was important to explain that it’s okay for more than one person to contribute similarly-fashioned content into a fandom, which is 100% true. In doing that, however, I failed to recognize that Erin has worked so hard, and for so long, to generate content for this small fandom. She deserved some differences in blog names and aesthetics, and I should have addressed that as well. (I believe the new blog has adjusted their name and appearance so that they are more distinguishable from Erin’s blog. Thank you for that.)

Adding fuel to the fire, I logged on to tumblr this morning and found that @certain-death-awaits was receiving quite a lot of hate, hence the gif I chose to reference in my post this morning (RE: everything burning down and me being like ‘wtf mate???’). My feed is usually a good mix of all of the various fandoms I belong to + cool quotes, and it’s usually all positive content, but this morning all it was was hate hate hate hate hate and I simply can’t deal with that.

I am typically more well-spoken and articulate through written word than I am through spoken word. I actually shove my foot in my own mouth a lot via spoken word, and I’m amazed that I have the job I have because really... putting my foot in my mouth is like a special talent of mine, and I talk a lot in my current role. Maybe my autistic brother and father rubbed off on me a little too much while I was growing up. 🤷‍♀️ There are certain social things which have never really clicked with me, and I still find myself making errors to this day. This special talent of mine does also bleed over into my writing from time to time. I try to be pragmatic and diplomatic when I’m addressing sensitive topics and situations; that’s just who I am. That’s the approach I always take. And sometimes I flub it big time.

It’s an error. I’m a human being. I never mean harm to anyone (except Erin’s evil anon), and I never mean to offend anyone (again, except for stalker!abuser!anon who should shove off forever). This is a flaw in me which I recognize about myself, and I’ve used that recognition to learn to give other people the benefit of the doubt. “Did they really mean for that post to come across like that?” or “Did they purposely phrase it like this, or was that something they didn’t exactly say the way they meant to say it?” and other such questions are common thoughts which cross my mind frequently. I do forget sometimes that not everyone thinks along the same lines as me, and then I wind up assuming that all people will be as forgiving of me as I am of them and award me the benefit of the doubt as well. I try to carefully word my posts, but there will inevitably be mistakes. I promise that I don’t wake up in the morning asking the questions, “Who should I piss off today?” or “Who’s my next victim to offend?”

Please. With the knowledge you have about me now, and with the insight I’ve tried to give you regarding my gaps in social skills, please give me the benefit of the doubt. And please give others this benefit, too. We’re all humans, and sometimes we make genuine mistakes. It never hurts to reach out to someone with the hope of gaining understanding.

Well, damn. This has turned into a rant. I’m going to post this and go to sleep so that I can try to successfully drag my butt out of bed at some pre-dawn hour in the morning.

I’m still calling for peace. Please let the wars and the fighting stop. Can we not move on with our lives? Can this fandom please become an uplifting space again? I just want to talk about character traits and analyses and plot twists and holes again.

#fablehaven #aerinm rants #im sorry if i have offended you #i promise that was not my goal

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saltyspaceboi · 5 years

Text

Just a Reddie thing

(I am still figuring out my writing style. Please be gentle with any criticisms you may have)

Warning Angst-ish stuff.

Part 1.

The first show Richie did after it happened was in Little Rock, Arkansas. He had performed there once or twice before never with much of a turnout. The local population tended to drift towards more Blue Collar comedy or would rather listen to that puppet guy tell the same ten jokes he’s been telling for the past decade. Although the arena he would perform at wasn’t small by any means, he figured he wouldn’t get much of a crowd. Especially since he’d taken a nearly eight-month hiatus with no warning and had barely spoken to anyone let alone been active on social media throughout that time.

As expected it was a small crowd. They laughed at his jokes and his impressions and he did his best not to make it obvious how much he didn’t want to be there.

His manager clapped him on the back and congratulated him as soon as it was over, so he figured he didn’t fuck it up too bad. He smiled and laughed and cracked his jokes over a fast-food dinner with his manager and some of the roadies, but looking closely would show you that a smile never reached his eyes. No one ever really looked closely. It wasn’t as if these people actually knew him. He was friendly with them, had been on the road with them too many times to count and yet... They couldn’t even tell anything was off.

There was a rock in Richie’s shoe. Just a small pebble, annoying and bothersome. Yet he didn’t stop to take it out. He ended up finding some use to it. Anytime the conversation left enough room for his mind to wander and he found himself thinking about Derry at all, Richie would simply apply pressure to that pebble and have it dig painfully into his heel. Maybe he could train himself not to think at all.

No one asked any additional questions when he lied and said he had been gone on some emergency family business. He felt alone no matter who he was with anymore.

It was nearly 3 in the morning when Richie finally gave up on trying to sleep in the hotel bed. He threw on some clothes, not looking or caring what he looked like, and walked out. He decided he might as well explore while he was here. It had looked gray and ugly on the drive in from the airport, but the thought of trying to sleep sounded as unappealing as going to the gym.

There were only a few people dotting the streets. He could hear people laughing in the distance, music playing from some bar nearby, car horns far away.

The air was cool and smelled like cigarettes and rain. He took a deep breath and started walking. Richie had no earthly idea where the hell he was going, but he felt like he had to go somewhere. Get away. He didn’t know what he was trying to get away from, but he had to get away.

He came across a park alongside the river. There were some pretty neat sculptures that he paused to ponder over for a few moments. There was a little tunnel made of vines and plants that was interesting enough. He paused before walking into it. There were lamps on the inside so it wasn’t too dark or creepy. He just paused, looking into it. For some reason, it made him uneasy. As if things wouldn’t be the same on the other side. He shook his head and scoffed to himself, then entered. He could see glimpses of light from streetlamps peeking through the foliage. He reached the other ended quicker than he thought he would, and again, he hesitated. Looking out at the dimly lit world from inside this well-lit tunnel filled him with some kind of anxiety that he couldn’t quite describe.

“For fuck's sake Rich, it’s just a stupid tunnel.” He mumbled to himself. Yet he still waited a few moments before he finally took that step to the other side. Nothing felt any different. The world was still the same on this side as it was on the other. Richie rolled his eyes at himself. He could imagine Stanley rolling his eyes too if he were there. Richie adjusted his foot and dug that pebble into his foot.

“Stan’s not here.” He reminded himself.

The voice in the back of his mind then cruelly reminded him, “Neither is Eddie.”

He dug that damn pebble deeper into his foot.

He kept walking. Gotta get away.

There was a jungle-gym on the other side. Richie didn’t even think, he just started to climb. He looked out over the river from atop the jungle-gym and watched city lights dance upon the water. For a moment everything was calm, quiet, almost perfect. It was at that moment Richie’s chest heaved as he tried to choke back a sob. He took off his glasses and tried to wipe away tears that were suddenly flowing. His heart ached and he cried until he caught his breath again. Shutting up and regaining his composure as he heard a group of people approaching.

Richie dried his face with his sleeve and took several deep breaths before climbing down. It was just a handful of college kids, they smelled strongly of weed and alcohol. Richie pulled up his hood, avoided eye contact, and started walking again.

He eventually came upon an area next to the river, he leaned against the railing and shut his eyes, sighing deeply.

“What the fuck is going on with me?” he whispered. He was so confused and felt so goddamn alone. He stood there for a long time before he finally opened his eyes again.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and stared at it, wondering if he should text someone.

He could message Beverly. She was always the first person he thought of texting when he got like this. Richie missed her. She was always the one who knew what to say. If Stan were still around, Richie would bet that he would be the first person he would have texted, but Beverly probably had better advice than Stan would have ever had anyways.

Richie typed a message.

“Hey, Bev” was all it said. Richie’sthumb hovered over the send key. It was late, maybe he shouldn’t. He sent it anyway and for a moment felt selfish for doing it. He moved to put his phone away but was surprised to have Beverly text back almost immediately.

“Are you gonna make it down here tonight?” It read. Richie squinted and reread the message.

“What?” he sent back.

“You don’t know?”

“Know what? You going crazy Bev?” Richie typed quickly. He waited for her to explain what the hell she was talking about. Maybe she thought he was someone else? Maybe she was in some kind of sleep delirium.

“Call Mike.” She replied. Richie bit his lip and typed out a response. He didn’t send it. Beverly would probably just give him the same answer. She was stubborn like that.

Richie rolled his eyes the way Stan used to do and dialed Mike Hanlon’s number.

All he got was a busy signal, so he sighed and hung up. He opened up messenger to text Beverly again.

“Are you high right now? wtf is going on?” He typed out. Just as he sent the message, his phone rang. “Mike Hanlon, Do NOT Answer” lit up his screen, Richie almost laughed as he had forgotten that was what he had set to be Mike’s caller ID.

“Hello?” Richie answered.

“Richie? It’s Mike.”

“Yeah I know who you are genius,” Richie teased, “Is something going on, I texted Bev and she told me to call you. I’m not sure if she’s going wacko or if y’all are just partying without me or someth-”

“Richie.” Mike cut him off. The seriousness in his tone turned Richie’s blood to ice.

The silence between them seemed to be an eternity long, as Richie tried to gather words to ask.

“Is... Is it back?” Richie asked.

“What? No! It’s not that.” Mike said.

“Then what the hell is going on? Are you guys doing drugs or something?”

“Richie... You need to get back down here.”

“Hell no!” Richie said. No way was he going back to Derry. He was fairly certain he never even wanted to set foot in Maine again.

“It’s Eddie,” Mike said.

Richie froze. His heart lept into his throat.

“Don’t fuck around with me like that, Mike. Tell me what the fuck’s going on before I hop on a plane just to come beat your ass.” Richie said through clenched teeth. How dare Mike try and use Eddie against him like that. How could he-?

“I’m not fucking with you,” Mike said, “They, found him. Please, I can’t explain it over the phone, you just have to come down here.” Mike begged.

Richie gritted his teeth and hung up. He sank to his knees and started to cry again. This time not caring if anyone saw and not trying to stop it. Sobs washed over him like a tide. He buried his fingers in his hair, trying to ground himself. That pebble, that goddamn fucking pebble was digging into him again.

In a hot fury, Richie ripped off his shoe and grabbed that little fucker. He reared back and threw the sucker as far as he could into the river.

“He’s gone.” Richie sobbed, “He’s fucking gone, please just let me forget again! Why can’t I forget?” He cried. Begging whatever bullshit god might fucking exist.

He drew in a shaking breath and tried again to stop crying.

His phone was ringing.

“Mike Hanlon, Do NOT Answer.” Flashed across the screen.

Against his better judgment, Richie answered.

“What the fuck do you want?” Richie’s voice broke.

“Richie, Please listen to me.” Mike’s voice pleaded.

“Don’t...” Richie tried to swallow the lump in his throat, “Don’t try and tell me he’s there. Don’t try and tell me we left him down there alone. He... He can’t be, He’s- Eddie he’s...“ Richie couldn’t speak further. He covered his mouth. He didn’t want Mike to hear him cry.

“Don’t believe me, then come down here and see for yourself,” Mike said. Richie hung up again. This time he didn’t answer when Mike called again. Richie put his phone on silent and tugged his shoe back on.

He adjusted himself and started walking briskly back to his hotel.

It’s a trick. It’s some dirty trick. There’s no way.

Richie wiped his eyes and adjusted his glasses as he walked. He headed straight up to his room and fell into his bed. He didn’t bother removing his clothes. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep anyways.

Richie simply gripped onto a pillow and cried some more. It must have been an hour before he looked at his phone again.

17 missed calls. 15 from “Mike Hanlon Do NOT Answer”, and 2 from “Bev.”

There were several text messages too. Richie shoved the phone under the pillow without looking at any of them.

“It’s a trick. It’s some dirty rotten trick. It’s a trick, you bet your fur it is.” Richie kept repeating to himself. He got up and went to shower. Maybe it would help.

It didn’t. He got out of the shower and almost robotically put his clothes back on. Then he packed his things up, went downstairs and checked out of the hotel, and got an Uber to take him straight to the airport.

“It’s a trick,” He kept thinking, but that didn’t stop him from purchasing a red-eye flight to Tennesse, from there he could catch a flight to New York and finally go to Maine from there. He didn’t look at his phone until he got to New York the next morning.

He had 8 more missed calls. 4 from “Mike Hanlon, Do NOT Answer” 2 from “Bev” 1 from “Ben Hanscom” and 1 from “Can’t write for shit Bill”

Richie had put that in as his contact for Bill Denbrough purely because Bill had been watching him do it and knew it would annoy the shit out of him.

Richie was sitting in the New York airport terminal, waiting for the final flight, when he texted Mike.

“Where are you guys?”

Mike replied with the address and after a moment sent another message.

“Are you coming?”

Richie thought about making a sex joke, but instead just turned his phone off. Not wanting to look at any of the worrying messages Bev or anyone else had sent him.

“It’s a trick.” He said to himself. “It’s a trick and you’re probably gonna wind up dead.” but he never turned back, and didn’t hesitate when he boarded the next flight.

“Well if it isn’t a trick, somebody owes me money for this shit.” he thought.

He chuckled a bit at the thought. Then as he strapped into his seat and waiting again for a final flight, he whispered,

“Please don’t be a trick.”

#reddie #fanfiction #long post #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #it chapter 2 #it chapter 2 spoilers #long text post #trigger warning #i guess

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estrxlar · 3 years

Text

The Ghost Of You

20 - You’re Finally Mine

This chapters songs:

I Follow You; Melody's Echo Chamber

Hot Rod; Dayglow

My Jinji; Sunset Rollarcoaster

- Y. L. Perspective

I let out a low groan, attempting to stretch out my arms and legs. But when I touched Koshi's, I remember that we were latched onto each other. Throughout the night, I hadn't imagined that sleeping with him would be so peaceful. His gentle hands holding me against him, the way a simple hum would run vibrations throughout his chest, and best of all: being able to look at such a lovely face to wake up to.

He pays my back gently, followed by his gentle voice. "Y/n? Are you awake?"

I open my eyes slightly to peek at him. A very bright sun ray showered his grey hair and fair skin. "Hm? Yes, I am now." Shoving my face back into his chest, I sigh. "What time is it?"

"It's ten. I'm sorry for waking you, but Isao is wondering if you want breakfast," Koshi explains briefly.

I blink a few times to refresh my mind, nodding slightly. Was his brother serious about making our food? That was something I hadn't experienced in a while. I usually made things for myself or ate leftovers for breakfast.

After Koshi dismisses his little brother, he proceeded to pat my back as if I were falling back asleep. "How did you sleep? I hope I wasn't bothering you all night," he asks me.

"Pretty good. I was very comfortable." A smile appeared on my face without any effort. I trail my fingers across his collarbone under his t-shirt, thankful that my first night with Koshi was as calming as sleeping through the rain. "What about you?"

I was hoping that I hadn't kicked him or done something embarrassing while I was asleep. The risk was a high percentage, especially since I'd spent the night mostly laying on his chest.

But Koshi didn't say much. He only gave me a very warning smile and tightened his hands upon my waist, maneuvering closer towards me. Curious yet scared of what he would do, I grew frantic, feeling my face heat up while he did so. And finally, he closed his eyes, brushing his lips against mine, before kissing me gently.

My hands rushed up to his face as my shoulders stiffened. Such a sudden action made my heart beat out of its chest, I was sure he could hear it.

Unfortunately, he ended our kiss after a few seconds, pulling away from me slightly.

"So, I'm guessing that's a yes?" I manage to let out a few words in my tired voice. Koshi nods, sitting up from his spot.

That was the first time I'd woken up in his bed while lying next to him. And boy, did I cherish that moment as if it were impossible to forget.

"Good morning, Ms. L/n," Isao chimes as Koshi and I walk into the kitchen with our zombie-like behaviors.

Nonetheless, I smile at the boy, happy to be seeing his familiar face. I was beginning to grow on him and his playful personality. I bow and greet him a good morning as well, before Koshi bumps his hip into mine, laying a hand on my back. "Y/n, you don't have to bow every time you see them." He says to me, making me shoot up to stand straight.

"Uh, sorry! I guess it's just an impulse I do to people," I explain myself, followed by Isao's sweet laughter.

"That's alright! I was just about done," he says, placing a small piece of fish onto a pile of a couple of other pieces. Next to the grill pan was some white rice and a pot of miso soup.

The smell fills my nose and I begin to build up my appetite. "Oh, okay! Would you like me to get started on some tea?" I hurry to the other side of the kitchen and attempt to search for a pot. But of course, Koshi stands there with one in his large hands, grinning at me.

"You're our guest, Ms. L/n! Please, sit." Isao carries the plate of rice and fish to the table, accompanied by a few bowls of miso soup. I hadn't been welcomed with such a normal morning breakfast in so long. Not even my friends' parents treated me like this. But mostly because we were all family to each other.

I could only hope that I didn't look too bad. I had changed into some pajama pants and a smaller shirt so I wouldn't look like a homeless man walking around such a nice house. But freshening up my hair, breath, and face could only do so much. As for Koshi, he still looked as beautiful as ever in the mornings.

I make myself comfortable in the same chair I'd say in the previous night, waiting for Koshi and Isao to join me. After they did, I said my thanks, and we began to eat our breakfast.

To my surprise, Isao wasn't half bad at making food. In fact, it was very delicious. Mostly because I hadn't had such a good breakfast meal in what felt like a million years.

"So!" Isao cleared his throat with a gulp of green tea.

"How did you love birds sleep?"

The boy clapped his hands enthusiastically. The nickname made me cringe on the inside, but I simply chuckled lightly and shrugged my shoulders. "Pretty good. You guys have such a lovely home," I comment, replied with a nod from Isao.

"Yeah, yeah. So your band; are you guys popular and all? Sorry, I know that probably isn't what you might want to talk about, but I'm interested in Koshi's new girlfriend," he says, followed by one of Koshi's passive-aggressive throat clearings.

I eye both of them, smiling awkwardly while swallowing my food. "Uhm, it's okay. We're fairly known by a few people at school and some family. Our discography is small since we mostly produce covers or requests we receive from our amount of fans."

It was obvious that Isao was very excited about having a musician in his house. I was only worried that Koshi would grow tired of talking about music. So, I take the wheel of questions and begin my mission to find out more about his family.

"What about you? Are you interested in any sports or art hobbies?" I ask, wiping my hands on one of the small towelettes he gave me earlier.

Isao nods. "Kind of! I like messing around with the drums now and then. But I mostly did a lot of volleyball back in middle school."

I hadn't thought about how old Isao might have been. Curious, I ask, "wait—how old are you? I didn't know you were in high school."

Little did I know that it wasn't something Koshi and Isao weren't up to talk about that subject, for they glanced at each other with surprised looks. "Uh...I should be starting in-person high school after the summer break. Right now, I've been doing homeschooling."

"Oh..that must be nice!" I attempt to lighten the mood a bit. "Are you excited? You get to experience a lot of new and fun things in high school. I'm positive you'll find something you like. Do you plan on going to Karasuno or...?"

"Yeah, I do. I only wish Koshi could have been a second year so we could be closer together!"

The mentioned man coughs while drinking his tea, wiping it soon after. "Uhm, don't worry. I have a couple of people who'll be looking out for you." I assumed he was talking about the volleyball team. Isao would no doubt fit in with those guys.

"You said that you're going to the states after graduation. Is that true?" The sudden question makes both Koshi and me choke on our rice. The only time that I would ever discuss the matter was with my friends. I was always afraid that talking about it in front of him would cause problems between us.

Noticing I grew uncomfortable, Koshi interrupts with yet another question. "Would you like to come with me to Y/n's concert? It's not much of a concert...more of a competition for bands. But if it's okay with her, I could take you with me. I know we'd both love to see her perform live, right?"

Isao practically jumps at the statement. "Wow—really?! Of course! Can we go, Ms. L/n?" He looks at me with big puppy eyes in excitement. How could I have said no?

Proud, I nod to the boy. "Sure thing. But you've gotta be careful in the crowds. There will be lots of people there."

The rest of breakfast was used as a way for Isao and I to get to know each other. Though they came from the same mother and father, Koshi and he were two very different people. It could have been that they got different types of acknowledgment from their parents, or they coped with their mother in different ways. He sure seemed like a rowdy boy. Very charismatic, curious, and a top-notch smart ass.

Koshi and I helped tidy up the kitchen, he notified us he would be going over to a friend's house. I was only to assume that this friend was like family to him, for Koshi dismissed him as if it were nothing. After that, we decided to begin getting ready for the training camp.

A/n: If you come across messages from the guys that sound cringe it's only because I'm trying to make them sound realistic aka what they would actually text like😭

Crow crew

Daichi

Hope everyone is heading to the gym soon

Let's try not to give Takeda a hard time this weekend. He's been treating us very kindly these past few weeks.

Tanaka

Yeah man he got us a really cool new manager

haha thanks

Asahi

Who's ####

Tanaka

I just said

Really cool new manager

Aka Sugas gf

Koshi

Istg

Noya

R u serious my brother😕

So you just take every girl you see now

Asahi

Suga didn't tell me that:0

Koshi

The way we haven't even been together for 24 hours and you somehow managed to figure it out

Tanaka

WAIT IT IS TRUE-

Daichi

This is literally supposed to be a group

chat meant for volleyball only

Leave Koshi's personal life alone and mind your own business guys

Noya

Don't be so uptight 🗣

Y/n I thought you liked me 💔

What about all that stuff you told me under the cherry blossom tree

Daichi

Noya oh my god

Asahi

Wow, this escalated!!

Daichi

Where are you guys, heading to the school hopefully?

Koshi

Y/n and I just left the house

Is Kiyoko there yet guys

Kiyoko

Almost :))

Meet me in the girl's locker room

Noya

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

Tanaka

What lmao

Tanaka

YOU SUMMONED HER

Noya

YEAH SHOW US YOUR WAYS DARK LORD

Bc I'm god( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ennoshita

Hey everyone

At the gym👌🏻

Yamaguchi

Good afternoon!!🌞

THE EMOJI WXBISJS

Yamaguchi

SHSHSHS

Tsukishima

it's gay

Noya

You're gay

Tsukishima

Wtf lmao no I'm not shut up

Tanaka

You've triggered something

Daichi

Stop it guys

Hinata

OMG I WOKE UP LATE

Koshi

Uhh

Try to get to the gym fast

Asahi

Hey you shouldn't text and drive

Tanaka

Especially when you got your girl in the passenger seat🤨

Koshi

Don't worry guys it's me

[image of you and Koshi in the car]

Kageyama

who's dirivng

Yamaguchi

Driving* and Koshi is obviously driving in the picture🙄

Kageyama

Im talk shout the training camp

Daichi

Takeda, he's taking his van like always

Hinata

CAN WE BRING SNACKS PLEASE???

Daichi

Yes but not to eat in the car bc I don't wanna cause Takeda any issues with having to clean it

###-###-####

That's fine with me!! Hinata can bring snacks( ◠‿◠ )

Is that Takeda Senseis number

Tanaka

Yes

Koshi

Pls try not to make a big deal of Y/n and I

Noya

Why wouldn't we💀

it's not even that huge + I'm sure you guys don't care that much

Tsukishima

Yeah I don't

Tanaka

Cmon noya that's one of kiyokos best friends we can't be mean😥

Noya

SHEEESH alr see you guys soon

—

- K. S. Perspective

"...are you telling me that she's coming with us?" I look at Daichi with a very serious face, afraid of what he would respond with.

I thought it was flattering that Eclair wanted to spend her afternoons at volleyball practice with the team. But was it appropriate to have her come with us to the weekend training camp?

Daichi sighed. "Well, she did ask Takeda and I beforehand and we didn't have it in us to tell her no. Besides, she is a big help to us. She's been doing a lot more than talk to the second years as of recently. Don't you think you're worrying too much about it? I'm sure she won't make a move on you again, especially now that you've got a girlfriend."

"She doesn't know that, dammit." I cross my arms and sink into my seat. I knew that she wouldn't take the news lightly when she found out. If I were lucky, she would last her entire stay in Japan without knowing.

He sighs again, adjusting himself in the seat. "Koushi, just fall asleep. We'll be there in only an hour."

It didn't hurt me that Daichi didn't want to talk about Eclair. She was draining, after all. I prayed that she wouldn't be causing issues during this weekend. The last thing I needed was another inconvenience.

Instead of sitting with Kiyoko the way she usually did, she had to sit alone. Eclair insisted she take her spot next to Kiyoko, but Y/n didn't want to make a big deal of it.

As the bus began driving off into the evening, I look over to the girl, observing her tired eyes as they wander over the valleys outside. Did she mind being alone? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted more than anything to sneak over to her seat when no one was looking. To have her head rest nicely on my shoulder.

'Would anyone even notice if I were gone?' I think to myself, checking if my best friend was still awake. Sure enough, he was dozing off against the window, giving me an open spot to sneak up next to her.

Careful not to be noticed by Takeda or any other volleyball members, I crouch over to the seat in front of mine. Y/n looks over in a flash, taking both her earphones out. "Kou, what are you doing? Are you allowed to sit next to me?" She whispers to me before the two of us lock eyes.

"I have no clue, but you look tired," I say to her as she closes her eyes and smiles gently. The orange-colored sunlight showered down on her beautiful features, making my heart melt right there in the moment. Desperate to feel her, I bump her head with my shoulder, offering her a personal pillow. She happily accepts and fits right between my left collar bone, making me beam with joy. I pay close attention to her small flinch when I began to ever so gently squeeze her thigh lovingly. Dear Y/n was finally all mine and no one else's, finally. Of course, I knew she belonged to herself and had personal boundaries that I wouldn't dare cross. She was an independent and reluctant girl after all. But my girl. One I would love forever and ever.

Yes I still added fluff at the end what abt it😾

Ily pls note and comment I read every single comment you guys give me and it makes me seriously so happy

- estrxlar

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kangdanie1s · 6 years

Text

enemies to lovers!au lai guanlin

both you and guanlin went to the same school and are both in the same year

y’all never really interacted much because he was the sports type of guy and even if you were into sports. you weren’t as focused on it like he was and both of you never had any classes together ???

both of you have been going to the same school since high school started but never got a chance to ever interact and you both didn’t mind. because how was knowing one another gonna benefit y’all anyways ??

so yes, he was the i love sports i BREATHE sports type of person who always joined the teams. volleyball, track, badminton ??? he was in it

cop: sir pull over

guanlin: pull over?💀😂 the season 🏀🏈 is never over 🙅🏿‍♂️🚫 ima grind 💪🏾💯 till the day I die 👻 💀 John 3:16🙏🏾🙌🏾

but of course his number one sport is … basketball

he’s been in it since he entered the school and boy never played it before but he found that he really enjoyed it and he got good at the sport so he was like uhhhh … ok i’ll just keep playing

his ability to learn sports easily just lead to his coaches recommending him to join the other sports and he cant turn down people so he was like okay i guess i’m just here to have a good time

so during the year before senior year, he’s became the captain for the varsity basketball team through hard work and patience with himself

and you ?? you’re just out here chilling with your studies and of course you’ve heard about lai guanlin before. who would you be if you haven’t??

everyday after a game everyone would talk about how he got the buzzer beater, about how amazing his layup was and you had nothing against him so you included yourself in the convo and would talk about how good he is even tho you’ve never seen him play at all

your friends knew that you were interested in the sport but never bothered to try out because you were too intimidated

you actually went on your first year of high school but you saw everyone who was trying out so you were like uhhh … gotta blast !!!

you were too intimidated and till this day you lowkey regret not joining because u could’ve been like guanlin where he worked hard and got the captain position

u were jealous but it was okay because it slipped out of your mind once school started becoming really busy

but anyways, senior year came around and tryouts for this seasons basketball team rolled up

your friends were like “yoooooo y/n ….. do you know what time it is?” and you’re just like “no i’m not gonna try out !!!! its senior year so why would i try out anymore”

“exactly!! u said it urself!!! its senior year!!!!! just do it!!!”

you were like nuh uh that will never happen i’m just Busy with life right now!!! and you make excuses that you’re trying to focus on your studies so you can enter a good university but they pull out receipts of ur good grades and good attendances and youre just like “i’ll think about it, ok??” and they leave with a satisfied smile

because at least you were finally going to think about. they’ve known that you lowkey always wanted to be in the team but never done it because u were too scared

one day you were going home when you saw the tryouts poster, directing you to where it was and what time it was gonna happen

you sighed and said “fuck it” because the poster was right there and tryouts were the next day so you told yourself it might be destiny that this was happening to you

the next day you showed up to tryouts thinking that fuck it! its senior year and who cares if these underclass men judge me. i’m gonna graduate anyways

after the tryouts you come to school with your gym clothes because you didn’t bother to change out and your friends are like ??? uh wtf what did you do to become that sweaty and you’re like “tried out for the team!! surprise!!” and theyre like WHAT

the results would be coming out at the end of the day and you were scared and anxious because u don’t think u’d be able to make it with these god tier students also trying to be in the team

once the day of the day rolled up, you casually went to the bulletin board located at the gym and you saw guanlin standing there. looking at the results for both the girls and boys team. he seemed interested and you were lowkey scared to even go near it anymore but you were like whatever he doesn’t know me anyways lmao

when you went up to the board your name was there. y/f/n y/l/n in big black letters along with the other students that made it in but the reason why yours was in bold bc … surprise surprise …. you’re the senior varsity captain

you were so into the moment that you started hitting the person next to you out of excitement and oh no!! guess who you were hitting….lai guanlin

he jumps back in surprise and youre just like “oh!!! sorry!!!!” and you continue to apologize but he brushes himself off and says “are you y/n?”

and you’re just like uhh ya i am and ur a little bit shook because you didn’t think he’d know you because you were just a person in the sidelines and you never did anything in the school to put yourself out there

“we’ll be seeing each other often from now on. don’t do that again” and with that he leaves the gym and leaving you in a confused state

you went ahead and talked to the coach on why you were picked as the captain when all these girls have better experience than you but they said because you had the skill and they knew the background you had with playing basketball with a team that wasn’t your school

practices were 3 times a week, two in the morning and one after school

at the first few practices you weren’t used to waking up early but when you got into the routine you thought that huh. this wasn’t too bad

but shit got worse when the boys basketball team started practicing. they stole the gym from you guys like half the time and although you and your team have only been a team for a few weeks you had each others back and once you saw them getting irritated with the boys team you had to step up and discuss with them about the practicing sched because they were stealing your time!!! so of course you had to talk to captain

you got his number from a mutual friend named lee daehwi and he was surprised that you wanted to talk to him and you briefly explained the practice schedule

you texted guanlin and he replied with a “who’s this?” and you told him that you were y/n the one from the basketball team and you met up with one another to talk about the schedule

you met up at the schools football bleachers and you slowly approached him cautious because he looked like he was in a shitty mood

“hey. i came here to talk to you about the schedule?” you said timidly

“oh. ya you texted me about it, i know. we can’t anything about the schedule” and you were like ummm??? what?? why not??

“because that’s the only schedule that works for everyone in the team. if you don’t like it then change YOUR schedule.”

“the schedule that we have right now works with everyones schedule too so we can’t change it!!!!!”

“then i guess we’ll be sharing gyms then?? i don’t see what’s the problem with that, it just looks like you’re the one who’s complaining about this”

you were like WHAT THE FUCK because your team was the one who started using it first !!! and he shouldn’t have talked like as if he was the one who owned the gym

you left with a “fine.” and a roll of your eyes and he simply walked away, not caring

you told the team and they were heart broken but you continued to deal with the practice being both teams

it got annoying because the boys would steal the basketballs away from you guys, they would hog the gym with their own practice drills and it left your own team struggling to practice

when you and guanlin met eyes with one another you would glare at him and he would glare back at you. there was small tension between the two of you and the team were all like ….yikes i don’t wanna be part of this

although both of the teams disliked sharing the gym they didn’t hate it as much as you and guanlin did

every time something simple happened like a ball got into their side of the gym guanlin would be like “do you not KNOW how to throw a ball properly? hmm, as expected of someone who’s never been in a team before” and you would storm off and get another ball in the gym back room.

he always used you not being in the past years team against you and like…you were good from what he can tell when he actually paid attention to your practices but he never cared to admit it

the insults kept coming and coming and you brushed it off and threw an insult back but you were lowkey like damn .. what if he’s right about me? that i’m not even good enough to be in the senior varsity team??? am i good enough to be the captain ???

so you started practicing more and more, coming in the gym when you didn’t need to and you stayed up until like 10:00 pm sometimes just to at least improve a little bit

guanlin had other activities he needed to attend to that would sometimes end at around the time you leave the school gym and he would see you all sweaty and out of breath with a gym bag and water bottle at hand and he would wonder why you were still here but in the back of his head

he knew that you were to practice because he insulted you about your skills in the sport

he felt bad but it’s not like he can take it back anymore. both you and him have established this relationship where you’re just constantly throwing hateful words with one another and his pride is too big for him to apologize to you

so once the games started, you had no choice but to watch the boys because both teams would play at the same day

sometimes you’d watch guanlin and forget all about the little rivalry you both had. he played with precision and you admired it but once he would look back and wink at all those girls watching him… you’d be like yikes and you’d see the cocky and overly confident person

the season went by quickly and next think u know… its finals

you’ve been working extra hard for it even harder than before and guanlin would also come in and practice. at first you shared heated conversations with one another about how they were stealing their gym and ur gonna steal it again??? you told him to just suck it up and live you alone because all you had in mind was the game that you and your team wanted to win

so one day, you were making a shot when your feet fell in the wrong place and you fell down with a yelp. guanlin, being in the same room, heard the sound and was like ???? what the hell just happened

he saw you on the floor, hand on your ankles and he decided to help you because he knows what it feels like to be in that pain. he saw the look of defeat on your face when you fell and he saw himself in you. he’s also gone through the practice and failure before

he came up to you and you glared at him because you thought he was gonna say some insult to you again but all he did was quietly sit down with a first aid kit he found in the corner of the gym and started going for your ankles

you moved away and he was confused because was he that mean of a person to you that you don’t even want him to help with your injury?

“look, i know we’re note exactly on the best terms with one another but let me help you. just this once” you slowly agreed and let him take care of your injury and he knew what was doing

he made sure that you weren’t hurt while he was trying to fix you up and after he was done he stands up and says “don’t make me do that again, take care of yourself next time” and walked away

mean guanlin was back but he also told you to be careful so i guess he was also being nice ???

you got up, limping, and went home but you didn’t know that that night

guanlin made sure to stay back and watch to see if you were okay to go home by yourself

he stayed in the corner and told himself that if you were really struggling, he’d jump in and help but when he saw that you were fine, he left when you were out of his sight

after that day, guanlin seemed a little bit … nicer??? the insults from him went from 10 times a day to at least 2 and you found it a bit weird but you were just like i guess that its better this way ??? you were just confused on why it just suddenly started dying down

like you didn’t wanna overthink about it because you thought it was stupid but you would thought to yourself, “is it because he hates me to the point where he doesn’t even wanna waste time on me anymore???”

so when you had the practices with guanlin by yourself, he would sometimes come in with another bottle of a sports drink and leave it at your side of the court and you’d just be like ??? but also you’d slip in a small thank you and he’d just shrug and say that its because the machine gave him another one

hateful words that were thrown at one another 2 times a day has now turned into late night conversations at the gym floors (even tho it was dirty)

it started one night when you were sitting at the benches just sitting down, looking at your hands and playing with them

guanlin came in and he was usually met by the sound of the basketballs bouncing but he didn’t hear anything so he looked around the gym for you and he found you there, sitting at the bench

he asked what was wrong and that was when you broke down, telling him what you’ve been feeling. the pressure that came with being captain, the injury that’s been hurting your ankles, etc

he frowned and gave you advice, pushing out the tiny hatred he once had for you. like tbh, he doesn’t know why he started insulting you in the first place??

maybe its because when he saw your name as the captain of the varsity team, he was confused to why someone new was taking such a high place but once he saw how hard you worked throughout the season he gained admiration and respect for you but he hid it with his insults

but from then on, you would occasionally share your problems with one another but it never got too deep. it went from hating being in the same room to being fine with it and even smiling at one another when you met eyes. you’d slip in a playful insult once in awhile but it was never directed to be mean

once finals rolled up, your game was first and you were trying to calm down your nerves by just jumping up and down and guanlin comes up to you and touches your shoulders and he looks you in the eye and tells you that you were gonna do great, it gave you the energy that you didn’t have before

you played the game flawlessly and as you were about to take your last shot, your feet falls in the same exact way it did when you first got the first injury

you fall and guanlin is instantly by your side, asking you if you were alright and you say that you’re fine !!! you tell him to not worry about you and go play his own game

and once his game starts, it was intense and you could see how much stress guanlin was in. you yelled his name and he looked at you and he felt like everything was fine for just a minute and he had the energy to continue and play again

at the end of the game, guanlin gets the buzzer beater and honestly, you cheered the loudest in the whole gym LMAO

he was instantly bombarded with his friends and his teammates but throughout them hyping him up, he kept eye contact with you and you grinned and mouthed “good job!” in which he smiled even more wide. you threw in a finger heart there somewhere hoping he wouldn’t notice but…he did

once he broke free out his friends hugs and cheers, he instantly came to you and you welcomed him with a hug even though you both were sweaty and tired

“i know we started in a bad way but.. would you like to go on a date with me?” he says, as he pulls you closer to him

the answer is pretty obvious but in the background you could hear the audience cheering, his teammates cheering, basically the WHOLE SCHOOL cheering

imagine the basketball captains dating together like WOW GOALS

dating guanlin include: him letting you borrow his basketball hoodie that says his last name and first name. you say that you don’t need it cause you have your own but he gets pouty so you give in and wear it. when you wear it, he literally has the biggest grin and he gets so happy and giddy when he sees you in it.

late night dates at the basketball court where you 1v1 one another. you win like every time so you get kinda suspicious and he just shrugs and says that youre good and that youve always been better than him

one day u were like hey guanlin the machine never gave u extra drinks right ? and hes like ya it did??? and then ur like "the school never had machines that gave out sports drinks" and hes just like uhhh GOTTA BLAST

#lai guanlin scenarios #guanlin scenarios #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #guanlin

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bohemianwriter · 4 years

Text

When he gets this way I really do shut down. He hasn’t had weed in like 12 hours. He hasn’t really been smoking that much this week at all. I get to deal with it. Like literally he gets so unpredictable. I don’t know what is going to set him off. And recently he’s been criticizing my morning routine.

He can incite an argument but if I respond he says “don't talk like that in front of Ari” and i’m like then why are you saying things that you know are going to make me upset. It’s like he can say whatever he wants and I can’t respond. Or I have to respond like monotone. And it’s super frustrating. Then today - I had asked him for almost a year about the dentist for Ari. He said “I want to take her to my dentist.” Okay. Great. A year goes by. I’m nagging. It’s fucking annoying he never makes the appointment. Finally he tells me okay you make it.

I get a referral from my dentist and make the appointment. He surprises me today - hours before we are going to leave that he wants to come. Sure, okay great. We get in the car and he yells at me all the way to pick up Ari. Threatening that he will just get out of the car and leave. Antagonizing me and yelling. Even though I’m not supposed to yell back or basically respond at all. He’s allowed to yell. I’m not.

We pick her up and I have almost shut down at this point. Of course he’s acting like the dad of the year to her. I drive us there almost in complete silence.

I get to the place. We go inside. It’s normal - the front desk people are very friendly. I am filling out paperwork and when it’s finally time to go back - they are like okay only one parent is allowed. I look at him and ask, “Do you want to?”

He blows up at the receptionist. Gets hostile with her and me. Tells her off basically and then leaves. Goes out to the car. I have to apologize for his behavior. It was so embarrassing. This was supposed to be about Ari. This is her first time at the dentist. I was just like: WTF. Like what is so wrong with you that you blow up at the slightest conflict. It wasn’t even a conflict I was going to go back to the car or simply wait in the waiting room. So he leaves and I go inside with Ari who thankfully didn’t really notice. She was such a good kid at the dentist. No cavities and we basically got a gold star. I paid $300 for the whole appointment. Of course no $ help from Nathan.

Instead I get berated again because I have my phone on silent and he is texting me non stop. Cursing. Saying they are stupid. Asking why I am not responding. Threatening to get an Uber home. Leaving and going to get tacos. Moving the car to wherever so I am lost when I leave.

And you know what. I had to hold it together. I had to hold my daughter’s hand and apologize to the receptionist. I had to put on a brave face and pretend like nothing was really wrong. I hate that look they give me. The people who he blows up at. They look at me like I have any control over it. Or like why are you putting up with this? I have to apologize. Say he’s stressed or having a bad day. I apologize again. I wonder myself what the hell am I doing with someone like that?

It was tense on the way home as he ate disgusting food in my car. Ari was happy talking about her fun experience at the dentist (I am trying to pretend that he didn’t just almost ruin the whole thing).

We get home and he starts taking his aggression out on the kitchen. I don’t want to be anywhere near the noise and come back to the bedroom. Typing away my feelings so at least I don’t have to keep them in my head anymore. He was rude this morning and then ignored me all day until it was time to leave for the dentist. I am just going to try and forget it and focus on how much fun Ari had instead. It just like makes the memory murky. Cloudy. Like it couldn’t have been normal. I was thankful to have been there with her (especially since I paid for it).

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bellefigura · 4 years

Text

bye bye england

What a wild 6 years it’s been, since I’ve stepped foot into your embrace.

I recall hearing about you when the next-door neighbour I majorly crushed on left home to find you. I was piqued. what was this elusive land, across the pond? of accents I had learnt to glorify, so different from the static staccato of mine. people with milk-white skin that my countrymen had come to view with a strange complex.

At 15, I was convinced I met you under the dim haze of shitty ski resort lights and teenage naivete. this. was. love. ok? I could swear the colour of your skin matched the pragelato snow. To quote myself from a blog post in 2013:

“And he embodied those dreams, someone that I could look up to. to be able to swathe in an admirable sort of love. he was perfect, the kind of perfect that’s meant to be shared with the world (simply because it would be selfish to keep all to yourself) he was ignorant, but he knew it and adored all the same.”

I look back at it now and lol how stupidly ravished I was. but my god, how exciting it was, to think that I found my fever dream. you were england. oxford-educated, blonde, blue-eyed, accented, Russian-born. the last, I only now realise, added to the wide open arms of ‘pan-europeanism’. whatever that meant.

That year, I packed my bags and left to find you. you, a 13.5 hour journey to reach. till the day I die, I will never forget the walls of heathrow airport. with the garish faces of “diversity” welcoming me into the country, with literal open arms. I wonder how many times I’ve traversed the floors of that place.

Concord. england, that was you – 6 years on, I still believe this in my heart. lush unspoilt countryside with the occasional tuesday whiff of animal poo. just shy of 16, you gave me my first kiss. on a rocky bus journey back from shrewsbury town. teenage chatter and the heavy aroma of takeaway hong kong kitchen and kfc hot wings. you looked like you from a year ago; only more real. country boy, teeth snagged with metal wire and schoolboy distress. golden-retriever hair and the whitest name to boot. you let me try on my first pair of wellies. that’s when I knew that I had found you, england. it was the damn wellies. 3 months later, you broke my heart.

so, I tried to imagine you elsewhere. I found you in saturday tests and the best ice cream I would ever have tasted in my life. in house parties with bootleg beer and 2am gossip sessions when the lights went off. I found you in that girl who brought me into Body Shop, whilst she left with a stolen lip balm. the same girl who scared me into teenage pregnancy a year later. (ya, wtf)

At 17, I found you in the first love of my life. this time, you didn’t look like what I thought you’d look like. but you sounded like the rest of them, which was good enough. you were reckless acts on bridges, on wildwood floors, behind stairwells, in manchester, cardiff, bangkok, singapore, cambridge. you were there england, you made me think, you helped me grow. and when the growing was over, you had to be pruned out.

and I found you again at 19. in london, your original favourite. you were in scenic 3pm walks through russell square. then getting mugged at 10pm. in a fucking protest in hyde park, where I learned to love again amidst the bullshit self-righteousness and superiority complexes. this level of woke, I will never go back to, london. not long after, you wanted to be my friend. and that was the best gift you could have offered me. I found you in nights out in camden, covent garden, the thames, mayfair. I will never forget the time I walked from temple to liverpool street. it was late-november I believe, 6.30pm. I found you again and I didn’t want to let you go.

at 20, the 2013 version of you reappeared in my life. remember that gorgeous apparition? only older, tireder, plusher. I still believe you came back to teach that 15 year old a lesson. a lesson grounded in reality this time, no holds barred, rose-tinted lenses discarded. in short, those were the most heartwrenching months london had ever shown me. and still, I am here.

at 21, I was tired. and I was finally cool with being friends again. england, this was it. this was friendship. you left me in a huff that night in late march, polite (?) kiss on the cheek. nothing more to say.

I wonder if I’ll see you again, maybe not where I think I’ll find you. I sometimes go back to you in Ian McEwan books and vsco-filtered icloud photos. I think about the frigid morning walks to the warren street gym, my OG falafel stop, my reading spot in Waterstones. you were always there. amongst the cloudless, shit-ton-of-stars shropshire skies. there you were again. in that shady tortilla joint where I had just been broken up with for the 2nd time. england, you were there. as I sit here in sweltering singapore, air conditioning turned up to the max – england there you are, in between words, apologies, silence, traffic, cow shit, steamy stews.

so farewell my dear friend, farewell x

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bellamilroy · 5 years

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Reclaiming Lazy

Inspired by the wonderful Annie Segarra’s (@annieelainey) latest video on disability and laziness, I want to talk a little about this. I don’t get called lazy often, but it’s something older people joke with me when I use my scooter, a kind of, “what do you need one of them for?! I could do with using one eh?!”. One thing I’ve realised over the last year or so is just how profound the internalised ableism that I was carrying was as a result of this perceived of laziness. Because society hates disabled people so much, using laziness as a way to morally judge the ways we live and the tools we need from straws to wheelchairs (as Annie brilliant describes), I spent a lot of time when I first became unwell in the mind-set of being the best, most dedicated, most determined kind of disabled I could be. Because we really only like one kind of disability don’t we? The cute, agreeable, inspiring, pretty (white), drool-free no-mess kind. The kind that doesn’t leave us feeling too uncomfortable. I now know that I was battling with my own ableism, so stuck in the mind-set that I genuinely believed that I just needed to try my absolute best at everything in order to meet societies criteria of “acceptable” disabledness.

I had a little script that I would say to myself and others whenever confronted with any kind of prognosis, you know, those little chronic-illness-catchphrases you come up with? I used to say, “I refuse to accept that this how my life is going to be forever”, often accompanied with a firm tone and punctuated with an exclamation mark. Uffft, I feel for the doctors that I used to say that to when they’d tell me that my bloods came back all good and they can’t find what’s wrong with me! Essentially, what I was saying when I said that was, “I’m gonna eat myself well, clean myself well, medicate myself well, meditate myself well, exercise myself well (wtf?!)”...the list goes on. Being disabled was rock bottom and it was simply a case of climbing back up, all it was going to take was a tonne of effort and sheer determination. And whilst I think I can give myself some credit for the notion of things not remaining as they were - my life is different now in lots of ways, so much better than it was when I first said those words - but my health isn’t. I’m still the same disabled as I once was, and it’s not for lack of trying. I think when we equate laziness with disability, what we are really saying is that you are just not trying hard enough. Once again, it’s on us to figure all this out, it’s our fault that things don’t improve, that we don’t “get better”.

The thing is, whilst we collectively subscribe to a societal hatred of laziness, we condone it all the time in so many ways without repercussions of condemnation. Think of airport flat moving walkways, TV remotes and contactless card payments, all spaces claimed for able-bodied people. Think of duvet-days and sun-loungers, home and online shopping, Deliveroo and Uber Eats, even washing machines and dishwashers. And lets not forget the economies of such acts. Think of the way in which so many of these acts required labour either prior to them or removed labour as a result of them. You had to do the work to get the day off to lay in bed all day, and having a washing machine means you don’t have to spend labour on scrubbing clothes, instead you can work longer hours in your zero hours job that doesn’t pay a living wage. In these contexts, able-bodied people within the capitalist nature of our economy claim these acts for themselves in such exclusionary ways. Having a dishwasher is herald as contributing to opening the door for working mums to access the labour economy, not as giving disabled people independence, ease and freedom within the home. Laziness and labour go hand in hand; it’s only acceptable to be lazy when it punctuates the majority of time spent carrying out paid work. When so many disabled people are shut out from paid work, condemnations of fecklessness is the resulting label. Laziness/leisureness/easiness is an exclusive club with explicit terms of entry, a place where once again disabled people are denied access.

I’ve realised recently that in reality, there’s no gold star for trying harder when it comes to chronic illness, that I am not to blame for my ill-health, despite how hard I work to change this. Like so many fellow disabled people, I’m an extremely hard working, determined and disciplined person in a myriad of ways. Would it make me a lesser person if I weren’t? Why is our inherent value tied up with our ability/inability to contribute to the never-ending productivity cycle that we are all subjected to and ultimately harmed by? Would you feel more comfortable if i told you I was on an extended gap-year instead of being disabled when you ask me what my job is? As well as this, sometimes it’s often difficult to recognise what hard work looks like. I’m working just as hard at managing pain when I’m laying down and can’t move or speak as I am when I’m getting on with emails or working in the studio. Again, we are at the mercy of how society perceives us in their own image of what disability looks like.

We as disabled people live in fear of being called lazy; it’s a term that signals danger in society’s judgment of us. It’s a very slippery slope from lazy, to scrounger to sponger to worthless. Can’t we let disabled people just be? I wonder what inclusive laziness would look like, I’m thinking; hoists in the hot-tub; neck roll supports designed by McQueen; advertisements during daytime telly hours specifically aimed at youth culture, not just life insurance and funeral care; comments of how hot my scooter looks next time i roll through the supermarket. Committing to a kind of accessible, achievable or even aspirational laziness and disability targeted easiness on a broad and open scale is critical to dismantling the stigma disabled people face when we are shrugged off as lazy. So here’s to reclaiming laziness - disabled people across the world unite! We shall be lazy! We shall watch endless episodes This Morning, Homes Under The Hammer, and Come Dine With Me! We shall skip cues and whizz past ableds on scooters and powered chairs, laughing in their faces when we do! We shall cook with pre-cut vegetables and slurp with straws, and for once we shall feel good doing it!

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idealisticrealism · 7 years

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Blindspot 2x11 recap

(Aka the one where Keaton and Dr Sun face off in an exciting round of “~Whose Presence Is The Least Wanted~”. Spoiler: they both win.)

Delayed a little by a spontaneous three-day trip across the state and a few late shifts, but finally here at last. So thanks your your awesome responses to last week’s recap, and prepare for a large quantity of thoughts and opinions because damn this ep was actually good??

Noooo. Roman. My baby. Why must you suffer so much??? I mean sure there was the terrorism and the murdering and all, but... well, just as I don't see Remi and Jane as the same person, Times New Roman and Old Roman are also not the same. Plus, given that messed up childhood he had, his violence is kinda unsurprisng. And I just can't help it okay, he's my scruffy psycho puppy and I love him. And Jane does too, which is why she's always visiting him (FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS WHAAAT. mORE ON THIS IN A SEC) and trying to make sure he's eating and getting some rest and just basically being the sweetest sister ever ughhhhh. But he's understandably starting to crack, being caged up in there like an animal, and ugh can I just hug them both rn

Okay this next scene is a Nas scene, ergo I don’t care about it, so I'm gonna just pause for a second and vent about this whole two-week-jump thing. Because you know what can happen in two weeks in this show?? Everything!! Like literally from the time Jane rejoined the team in the premiere up to the events of last ep (aka a total of 11 eps), only TWELVE DAYS had passed. (Yes, I counted). So let's think about this. This means that Jane came back into the team's lives 12 days ago. She met Roman 12 days ago. She was shot by Zapata 12 days ago (though you would never know it based on her physical activity... #tvmedicine). And wanna know some other things that happened in that 12 days? 11 days ago Weller found out he was gonna be a father (Allie was like 15 weeks along at the time, at best guess??), and Borden asked Patterson out. Approx 6 days ago, Jane kinda pretty much admitted to Weller that she loved/loves him. She found out about the baby a day later, the same day Allie was shot. (Again, not a hint of that injury any time we've seen her since!). Weller and Nas started sleeping together 4 days ago, while Jane's 'happy ending' fantasy (*sobs*), and her failed date with Oliver happened only three days ago. Then let’s not even get into the whole shitstorm of Shepherd’s trap and the team nearly dying and Patterson discovering Borden’s betrayal just a day ago. So are you seeing my issue here?? All these things happened in LESS than 2 weeks, and now we've just jumped forward that entire block of time and ugh what the hell did we miss in all those days??? I’m actually legit worried about what bad things could have happened/are brewing...

Aaand speak of the devil. Or devil-lady. Nas is apparently doing something shady (shocking, I know) and Weller comes to investigate, since apparently she's been 'sneaking off every morning'. Oh, great. You know what, maybe I'm glad we've skipped ahead two weeks, if these two have continued their... whatever the hell this is... during all that time. But seriously dude, Jane is back and you guys are actually on good terms again, why are you still with the rebound??? Unless... unless she's no longer the rebound but rather the barrier. Like with Jane back and their old connection starting to reform, maybe he's using this thing with Nas as like a buffer to keep himself from gravitating back to Jane-- lbr, he's the proverbial moth to her flame, and vice versa-- and so basically this thing with Nas is all just a way of protecting his heart by keeping it far away from the one woman who could truly crush it? Honestly rn that's the story I gotta go with bc otherwise I’m gonna get stuck obsessing over wtf is going on here with these two completely ill-suited people. Sigh. But anyhow apparently Nas used to get messages from this sign from the Sandstorm informant (did she ever look into how though? Like did the informant know or pay off the person who types them? Or did they hack in themselves? Surely that was a lead that should have been followed??) and so apparently she's still checking it. Also damn, the quote up on the sign: "The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon"-- very true about Jane, given all she's been through and how strong and incredible she's manages to remain through it all....

But anyway now there are two thug-like dudes just sneaking thuggishly amongst a bunch of shipping containers and lbr it's already a better scene than the previous one. And then a Distinguished Looking Man and a younger man (his son, I'm guessing?) exit one of the containers, looking Distinguished and Mysterious. Dude, I hope you guys didn't come from far away, bc that would not have been a fun journey...

Ooooh Weller's lady-juggling is apparently not going so well as he ends up missing Allie's appointment-- what's she now? 20 weeks, give or take? And yet that's one tiiiiiny belly she's still got... like okay yes, some women barely show at all, even well into the second trimester, but lbr NEVER TV WOMEN. TV women are usually always sporting one of those massive fake belly things so that we, the poor silly viewers, don't forget that “HEY THIS LADY GOT KNOCKED UP, THERE'S DEFINITELY A BABY KICKING AROUND IN HERE SO GET READY FOR IT TO FLY ON OUT AND MESS SHIT UP AT ANY MOMENT". And yet, with this show... nothing? Some slightly baggier clothes, maybe, but not even a moderate bump. What does it mean?? Are they sneakily trying to tell us that ~all is not as it seems~ with this pregnancy (like hey, maybe Allie even sneakily moved the appointment forward so Weller would miss it)-- or, am I just reading to much into things, and the show’s prop-masters were simply out of stock on the Defo-Preggo fake bellies and decided it didn't matter and we probably wouldn't notice its absence anyway? Seriously I have been super suss of this pregnancy from the start (mainly bc why the hell would it even have been written into the story unless for some kind of ~Shock Drama~ down the track) so maybe I'm looking too hard for hints? Lbr it's gonna take a fair bit to shake me from my 'Allie is a Sandstorm operative and is faking the pregnancy bc of reasons' theory. And Cutie Connor can totally fit into that too. But anyhow Weller is a sweetie and is trying very hard to be a Good Dad(TM). Oh, my son. Why do I strongly get the feeling that you will never even get the chance to be a dad to this baby. (*whispers* there's always your babies with Jane to look forward to, tho...)

Oooh it's back-to-work day for Reade (two weeks post-surgery really isn't enough for a physical job like his, but whatever I'mma overlook it) and omg he and Zapata having an awkward little chat and dude is this really the first time they've spoken since that terrible kiss? Really?? So there was just radio silence between them, two best friends, for two weeks while he was practically an invalid. Ooookay. Sure. On a brighter note, there was a rat in the lockerroom that Reade had named Whitey Bulger hahaha. That's adorable. I hope it was released humanely. Reminds me of the mouse that used to live in the wall of my parents’ house and its hole was right near the computer desk so I would feed it crumbs when I was up on the computer at like 3am haha. Ah, good times. Also okay hold on google says that Whitey Bulger was an infamous crime boss who murdered like 20 people. Ohhhhh and apparently he was an FBI informant, aka a rat. I wonder if the rat was white, too? Though generally wild rats are brown. But wow okay I am getting very distracted (lbr it's the secondhand embarrassment from this super awkward interaction, I can't deal so I’m avoiding the whole thing lol)

Phew okay now we can switch to a far more pleasing scene-- my baby Patterson is back at it, and I'm not even gonna comment on the bullet-wound recovery time. Just look at this restraint I’m showing. Anyway based on Zapata's very pointed comments, lil baby Patterson has refused to take any time off. Ugh. Though if I were her I wouldn't really want to be at my apartment either. I wonder if Borden left anything there... :( also Patterson still has a nasty headache, which sounds ongoing and is not all that consistent with the eardrum-stabbing. It could be a bunch of things, including lack of sleep, but... I wonder. Maybe Sheherd was sneakier than we thought. But for now let's just hope our baby is okay.

Looolll I feel like I'm watching a married couple having a fight over what's best for their kid or something. But lbr here if not for the pressure that Weller's facing to show that he's 'punishing' Roman somehow (seriously we know how Pellington fels about Roman, not to mention how all the agents under Weller’s command must feel about the man that helped kill 12 of their own), I feel like he would be on Jane's side of this argument. Although, he probably also recognises the influence Roman has over Jane, and might be worried that Roman could pull her away from him... but anyhow it's entertaining to watch these two in their own little bubble with Nas off to the side, just awkwardly hovering there like she's an afterthought. Neither one particularly wants her input rn but she has to be there, so... but then she suggests bringing in an 'expert' that she knows and that sets off instant alarm bells for me. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH NAS, INCLUDING NAS, OKAY GUYS? THEY’RE SNAKE-PEOPLE, THE LOT OF THEM. This is bound to bode ill for Roman and Jane and like probably everyone somehow

Aw my clever baby has cracked (or re-cracked) an old tattoo, which previously had given them a random number but now correlates to a shipping container-- naturally, the very one that our mysterious duo exited earlier. And due to some handy camera unscrambling, we know that Distinguished Man is a supposedly-dead warlord dude that did a bunch of bad things and was actually indirectly involved in the team nearly getting killed in Turkey last season. Oooooh, drama.

So the kiddies are heading into the bullpen-- Reade joining Weller and Jane as they head together to the main briefing area. So wait how come Jeller were off on their own just then, given that the team was all just together down in Patterson's lab a minute ago? (*cough* quickie?? *cough*) But anyhow traces of nitroglycerin were found in the container apparently so ooooh bomb??? But apparently the company who paid for the container also paid a bunch of dough to some other lady, so the team brings her in-- and finds out the money was 'life insurance' from the death of her brother a few days ago. But hold on, she never even saw the body, said that he'd already been taken to the morgue. And bingo, this story is already throwing up a ton of flags. I can tell you from direct experience that when a person dies in hospital, a doctor (ie, me) is immediately called to certify them, and then we tuck them in nicely and ensure they look peaceful before we contact the family and allow them to come in. And unless the family is like hours and hours away, the patient will remain in their room until they've had a chance to say goodbye. If the family can't get there for a long time, they're taken to the hospital’s mortuary where they await pickup by the family's chosen funeral director. At any point in this process the family can still be taken to see the patient if they wish. So clearly, something else happened with this woman's brother, and someone paid off multiple hospital staff to make it look how they wanted. Definitely not easy to do. And now, according to Patterson, it turns out he was actually transferred elsewhere... this is all veeeeery shady

Ugh Jane going to Roman and using Borden's coffee example to help reach out to him. Ughhhh. And then ugh he asks her if Shepherd loved them and why she wiped his memory and this puts Jane in such a tight spot bc if she said Shepherd did it but didn't love him then how does she explain later that she herself did it out of love and aarghh. But her answer "maybe she thought it was the only chance she had left to get you back” is a good answer. I'm still sad that she had to lie to him about it, and the ramifications that that's going to have. Please understand, Roman, she loves youuuuu and only wants what’s best for you!

Meanwhile Patterson's found the person who last visited the dude in hospital, bc she's da boss. And then Weller asks if she ran the plates and she practically rolls her eyes at him, sassily gesturing over her shoulder just as a photo of the plates appears on the screen behind her. Badass. The team subsequently goes chasing the car-- which is conveniently like ten mins away-- and suddenly it's like we’re in the middle of a black SUV convention when the team surrounds the target cars, the two separate sides differentiated only by the fact that out of one set of cars comes our badass team with their big guns, and out of the other comes a murdering, bloodthirsty, terrorist warlord... and something much worse. KEATON. And lbr I will forever be proud of Jane for the fact that she has her torturer directly in her line of fire and yet doesn't even once struggle with the temptation of pulling the trigger. Because no matter what she's been through-- and no matter what Remi did in the past-- Jane is not a killer. (Let's just agree to overlook the whole thing with Fisher bc that man was an evil little weasel and deserved what he got). And then Zapata discovers a possible bioweapon in the car, ratcheting tensions even higher until Keaton is all 'chill, it's just a pilfered body part'. And lbr, Keaton is so damn repugnant that this is the only way he could ever steal anyone's heart. (badum-tish?). But omg then Jane tells Weller-- while staring at Keaton with bared teeth-- that he was the one who tortured her. And being the little shit-stirrer he is, Keaton tries to imply that Weller has known all along (actually only two weeks and 4 days, but who's counting), and Jane's trust in Weller wavers just slightly at that, given that he'd told her from the start that he hadn't known anything about her torture. Which was true, at the time. And now he quickly reassures her-- while staring absolute daggers at Keaton-- that he only found out in Bulgaria. I wonder if he's mentally reliving that last meeting bc oh boy I sure am. Ah, those satisfying choking sounds. But anyhow, it turns out that Warlord Man's son needs a heart transplant and the CIA is providing it in exchange for info about planned terrorist attacks. The traces of 'nitroglycerin' that was found in the storage container was actually from the kid's heart medication (glyceryl trinitrate, in case you're interested, though he likely wouldn't be on that medication for this particular condition. Also to get those traces around the container I guess he must have been doing a Great-Escape style boredom activity, just with throwing his tablets instead of a ball. Anywho tho Jane tells Weller he can't trust Keaton, and as he always does (or did, in the old days) he finds a way to do what she suggests that is also going to appear acceptable to the Big Bosses. Which in this case means inviting Keaton and Co into their base. Joy.

So not only does the team have to work with the world's biggest asshat, but there's an attack tonight that they need to stop. Zapata takes Anton the Warlord's phone and laptop to Patterson bc apparently she can't face the idea of interviewing him with Reade (come on kids, we're all grownups here) and everyone suddenly disperses, leaving Jane alone in the room with Keaton. I kinda feel like that's an oversight that Weller wouldn't actually make (and lbr he's always been super aware of where Jane is and what she's doing at all times) so I kinda feel like he is deliberately giving her this chance to face Keaton alone? He knows she wouldn't do anything foolish-- such as, say, try to choke him to death, like a certain someone-- and knows she needs this closure. And omg Keaton is now boo-hooing about missing his kid's basketball games because he had to spend his time 'interrogating' her. Damn, that's cold. He's literally acting like she wronged him. (Can I claw his eyes out now, please?? Since Jane is too good of a person to do it??). But well, at least Keaton’s shittiness gives us this scene of Jane storming into Weller's office. He's sitting and staring pensively at a watch in his hands-- what's the significance? Was it his father's? What am I missing here?? and she bursts in all angry and hurt that they're working with Keaton after what he did to her, which lbr would basically feel like everyone dismissing it as no big deal. But thankfully Weller makes it clear-- with his Serious Voice and turbulent eyes-- that he hates it too and even nearly killed Keaton when he found out. And boy, does that take the wind out of her sails. Yes, Jane, Mr Always-Do-The-Right-Thing literally nearly murdered a high-ranking government official for hurting you. And ugh you can see how much that means to her-- lbr with them, that's basically as much an admission of love as any kiss could be...

Aaaand then of course Nas has to appear to ruin the moment, because that's literally like her entire role on this show; Ms Shady Backstabber and Moment-Ruiner. And oh joy, she's brought her 'expert', who on one hand I am pleased to see is a disabled WOC, bc yes good tv representation, but on the other hand I wish she just wasn't there at all. That actress was great in Quantico though. Literally tho in the first minute the doctor has called Roman a 'prisoner' and a 'killer'. Biased, much??? I have literally treated jailed murderers myself, and the entire medical staff would always refer to them only as 'the patient' or at the very worst, 'the inmate'. So this lady is really already rubbing me the wrong way here. As much as I dislike her, though, I agree that Jane shouldn't be there for her assessment. But ugh I hope she can watch on cameras or something just so someone is keeping an eye on what they do to my poor puppy... but seriously tho let's all take a moment to appreciate how well Jane keeps herself in check like all the time?? I mean she's constantly copping crap from people and she just takes it with such grace (okay sometimes with a little less grace but generally very well) and ugh I just love her so much

Speaking of Jane, she takes her turn watching over Anton, and while the man refused to say a word to Reade, the sight of Jane has him opening right up. I feel ya, buddy. I'd spill my guts to her too. I enjoy that they bond over their mutual hatred of Keaton. Can I join that party? Also ugh the way he talks about his son not being like him, and being deserving of a proper life... kinda like Jane still deserves a good life despite who her 'mother' is and what she's done. But oh geez, his next line-- "You know what's the worst thing that can happen to a man, Jane? To lose a child." AAAAHHHH RED FLAGS RED FLAGS THIS IS FORESHADOWING I JUST KNOW IT. DOES THIS MEAN THE WRITERS ARE GONNA KILL OFF WELLER'S BABY??? DOES IT???? And then oh shit, the son dies (I am still sure that that line was foreshadowing more than just his death though) and the team is all like wtf do we do??? Naturally Keaton thinks the only option is to lie, which Jane strongly disagrees with, both of them turning to Weller, who brings them both with him to see Anton. Keaton gets in there and starts spouting lies-- only for Weller to step up and tell the truth, while also being genuinely sympathetic. Yaaaaasss my son taking Jane's side and doing the right thing, as he should :) And ugh she is so sad for the man's loss and tries to get him to see that his son wouldn't have wanted this. 'His ideals aren't like yours' oh boy does she know all about that. But even her heartfelt pleas can't get through to him (come on, dude, look at that faaaace) and so now the team is really in trouble... But as always happens when shit hits the fan, everyone turns to Patterson, who naturally comes through, tracing a phone that got a coded message from Anton's phone, giving them the lead they desperately need...

But while my beautiful and trustworthy team is busy doing that, Shady and Shadier are starting their mindgames on my poor lil caged lion Roman. Keep your devil-claws off him, ladies! That means you, sneaky shrink! Also if he is believed to be so dangerous and unstable, there is no way she would be that close to him, especially without any guards present. He could kill her in a single second. And speaking of which, baby Ian just stabbed the hell out of one of the other boys at the orphanage (the one that stole his coin), seemingly on the order of their captors? And in the earlier flash that we got, the guy said "Will you kill your rabbit now?" So these are two separate memories, right? The rabbit is really a rabbit, yeah? Like ‘rabbit’ isn't a metaphor for a 'target' or something right? Either way, daaaaamn, these poor kids...

Aaaaahhhhh we're getting another Jeller heart-to-heart moment in the caaaarrrr! I've missed these. I so wish Reade and Zapata were in the back seat pretending not to exist like they did in the good old days when Jeller were having a ~moment~, but sadly not this time. But ugh Jane is again expressing her fears about Roman's reaction should he find out that she zipped him, and I love this bc not only is Jane allowing herself to turn to Weller again for comfort, but she's also being open with him about her feelings, ensuring there's nothing hidden between them anymore (at least on her side. While I assume she's figured out the whole Nas thing, I doubt he's outwardly said anything to her). And ugghhhhh Weller doesn't hesitate to comfort her, reminding her that she has become a completely new person-- aka, a good person-- after her wipe. Yaaaassss for Weller acknowledging that Jane and Remi are separate people. And then ughhhh he says the wipe was the best thing that ever happened to her but lbr it's the best thing that ever happened to him??? That memory wipe brought her right to him, gave them the opportunity to know each other and fall for each other. Hers wasn't the only life that was changed forever the day she climbed out of that bag. But omg he's still not done??? He tells her that she not only saved Roman's life by doing what she did, but whatever hope he has left (of a life, of happiness and normalcy) is a gift that she gave him. Oh lord, help me. And then he turns to her and puts the heart eyes up to high beam and boy are they blinding. I'm legit gonna have lightspots in my vision for like the next hour. But ugh what I love most is that these are not his previous "I adore you and everything you are" hearteyes but more of an "I have done so wrong by you and though I know I could never make it right I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying" hearteyes and honestly JUST LET ME DIE. Oh wait, nope, I am about to die bc now we're in the other car with Zapata and Reade AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THE AWKWARD. Save me. At least Reade is trying to talk it out like a grownup whereas Zapata is all but stuffing her fingers in her ears and going "la la la la I can't heaaaaar you" lol.

Thankfully, Weller chooses that moment to rescue us all (he probably needed a distraction of his own bc he was becoming too lost in Jane's eyes haha) and everybody pulls into a place that looks kinda reminiscent of the spot where Zapata shot Jane. Everyone fans out, including Jane, and I will forever be so happy about the fact that she's back out with the team and trusted with a weapon and they all know they can rely on her as a true team member and ughhhh I'm just so happy to be getting back to the real heart of this show. And speaking of things that are right at the very core of this show, Weller has managed to get himself blown up yet again, this time by trying to stop a dude who had wired a bunch of basketballs on a rack into a bomb. Bad dude gets away with a bunch of other bombs, and Weller gets away with barely a scratch-- which doesn't stop Jane from yelling his name in alarm and immediately running to his side, even giving us an Unnecessary (but sadly not all that Lingery) touch on his arm as if she's reassuring herself that he's okay. Ah man. You guys are killing me. While this season has certainly frustrated me in regards to Weller's actions towards Jane, it definitely doesn't disappoint in hers towards him. Ugh, my stupid in-love babies, how I adore you

Anywho the whole crew is on the site now (including Keaton, which literally everyone there/the entire world could do without) and they realise that though there's no major basketball games on tonight-- which of course our resident ex-gambler knows-- there is a youth league game on, aka the one that Keaton's daughter is playing at. And how do they know this?? Because my baby Jane is a freakin' genius as well as a badass, and she actually listens to what people say, even if those people are jerks and don't deserve a second of her attention. And so now when Jane speaks, everyone listens, which is why they're all currently bolting to the kids' game. And Keaton is all "he's doing this to get at me" *whinge whinge*, and Jane is all 'bitch shut up there's a lot more people there than just your kid'. But naturally Keaton continues to bitch bc he's Keaton, then even annoyingly brings up the whole being a parent thing, at which time Jane sneaks an almost-sad look at Weller, because freaking everyone has to continuinally remind her that the man she loves now has a permanent tie to someone else. Great, thanks, show.

But anyhow despite Weller having everything under control, Keaton manages to ruin everything as usual, getting his own agent killed and forever traumatising his daughter in the process. Weller and Keaton then bugger off in search of the daughter while Jane and the other two take out a bunch of baddies like the badass little team they are. Ah, so good to see them like this again. Jane splits off from the others to chase more baddies while the two of them try to defuse the bomb with Patterson's help. Bc when in need, always call Patterson. Jane's fight with the baddie in the gym is kinda hilarious, like at one point she sends him sprawling but rather than knocking him out she waits politely for him to get up before continuing their fight. Such manners :P Although given the fact that she then slams a kettleweight straight into his face/chest, maybe she’d used up her quota of good behaviour haha. Meanwhile Patterson shuts down the cell signal to the area, preventing the bomb being activated via the mobile phone detonator... ummm is that a thing that's actually possible? Idek. Anyhow Weller and Keaton find the daughter at gunpoint in the locker room, and Weller's all "I haven't got a shot" though lbr I bet that ‘Mr Exceptional Marksmanship Award’ could totally shoot that guy's exposed hand. A moment later he gets the shot anyway when Keaton draws the baddie out, and all seems to have ended happily until-- dun dun dun-- there's another baddie, right about to shoot both Keaton and his daughter!! Only to be shot by Jane first, aka my perfect beautiful princess who always saves any life she can, even if that life belongs to the piece of slime that tortured her for three freakin’ months. Hey Weller, take notes. If Nas had been in Jane's situation just then, she would have sat back and watched. No doubt about it. At least Keaton is man enough to genuinely thank her tho, to which she gives pretty much the much more professional-sounding version of "screw you, asshole" lol. You go, girl.

Oh boy. So you put Roman into an ‘MRI’ and are now basing your diagnosis on the absence of a perceived response to a few pictures. Good lord, woman, you must have gone to a worse medical school than Borden. I don't even know where to start with this. Firstly the scan you're thinking of is a PET scan, but you literally can’t make this diagnosis based on that anyway!! And honestly lady have you ever opened a psych textbook in your entire life, there's a whole bunch of criteria to diagnose Antisocial Personality Disorder and ROMAN LITERALLY DOES NOT MEET THEM. Even Old Roman doesn't meet the majority of them, and New Roman meets practically none. This woman is a CHARLATAN and I will not TOLERATE THIS DISRESPECT TOWARDS EITHER OF MY BABIES. Gaaawd. So now poor Roman is in danger of being locked away in a padded room for his whole life on the word of one woman; one woman who they know nothing about except that she comes recommended by Nas (which should be an automatic black mark against anyone's name imo) but also a woman who just told Jane-- aka Jane who grew up in Hell's Orphanage and has been through unfathomable shit her entire life including three months of recent physical torture-- and this woman just told her she can't possibly imagine how 'terrible' this Sudanese orphanage was that she visited once as a student. Good lord, can I slap her yet. Please. At least Jane kind of calls her on it, raising the point that she grew up in exactly the same way as Roman, but it's clear the snake-charmer's mumbo-jumbo has her doubting herself. Ugh. At least Weller doesn't seem at all happy with the idea of having to lock Roman up-- probably bc he knows how it'll hurt his precious Jane, and after allowing her to suffer for so much of this season he's finally gotten his shit together and realised she didn’t/doesn't deserve any of it and now desperately wants to make up for his previous ass-ish ways.

Speaking of ass-ish ways, Zapata has decided to grow up a little and reach out the olive branch. Thank god. She even apologises, which is impressive, because this is Zapata... although she still manages to turn it into a bit of a joke. I do love the "you're not even my type, though" (we know, Sarah is) and the "why, too smart or too classy?" Thankfully he calls her on the classy part, and yaaayy we are back to the sassy banter that I like :))) Brotp forever please. Also Reade aren't you still on pain meds? You shouldn't really be drinking... And then aww she wingmans for him (which would have been hilariously awkward if the girl had actually been checking HER out. Man, that would have been amazing). But then hold on writers, what is this little ~look~ she throws back at him?? Please tell me that that was just a slightly wistful 'If only I could love him as something more than a brother, who knows, we could have been a good couple" and not a "I'm pretending I don’t have feelings for you bc though I actually am in love with you I don't want to drag you down into the trash pile with me". Bc legit if the writers go down the path of the latter, I'm going to be so pissed. JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS, OKAY??? NOT EVERYONE WITH OPPOSITE GENITALS HAS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, GEEZ.

Naw Patterson finds Jane sitting behind the mirror, watching over Roman like the loving-- and worried-- big sister that she is. And Patterson, bless her, my precious angel made of fairy dust and sunshine-- gently reassures her that 'psychology isn't even a real science so you shouldn't listen to anything the shrink says' (or something along those lines lol), and then ughhhhh when Jane is basically acknowledging that she has no power to fight the shrink's diagnosis because she 'isn't objective', Patterson gifts us with this: "Maybe that's the point. Weller wasn't objective, and he brought out the best in you. Maybe you can do that for Roman". And so the Queen has spoken: lack of objectivity = LOVEEEE, and love will set you free and all that jazz. But ugh Patterson I could kiss you rn (not like I would ever need much encouragement any other time, tho lol)

Okay if no kissing then could I at least write you a prescription for some better pain killers because I hate seeing you suffer like this (ugh Shepherd what sneaky thing did you do to my precious baby). At least the pain meds that she has-- while useless for the pain-- actually help her to crack the leopard clue. Wooo! Shame she had to get Nas involved, but at least she's telling Jane pretty much immediately. And because Patterson is a genius, she determines that the clue points towards a chick in some bikie gang, who is seen in a photo with none other than Roman. Guess we know what next ep is about!! #exciting

Oh joy, an Allie and Weller scene. I was totally just thinking that this ep needed more of them (#not). But oh my goddddd he's been nesting, setting up a nursery and buying a crib with the highest safety rating and trying out colour swatches for the walls and oh my lord this is simultaneously the worst and the best thing bc 'excited prospective-dad Weller' is SO ADORABLE but the circumstances and partner are definitely... less than ideal, shall we say. Siiiiiiiigh. And then BAM Allie's suddenly moving to Colorado with Connor and Weller cares too much about her to ever even consider trying to get her to stay and so okay I see two options here: either the writers are trying to make us think Allie is going to be out of the picture, so when some Big Bad Thing happens involving her and the baby, it'll be an even bigger twist; or, she literally does move to Colorado and the show very occasionally mentions Weller's interstate baby in future seasons just so we don't start thinking that the whole storyline was just a really protracted, mass-shared bad dream. Since the second would just be embarrassingly bad screenwriting, I'm pretty much hoping for the first option...

Well, there it is. Happy Blindspot Day, and see you for the (hopefully much more punctual) next installment!

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #oooops this is super late #at least AI'm done before the next ep airs tho?

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