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hornyhoursblog · 1 year

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okay this is my long proper update about work crush :)) and reminder i treat this as a personal diary and my place to store all of these :)) so last saturday was my first shift back after a few weeks so i was a bit worried that like the energy wouldn’t be the same but it was fine it was good it was still the same teasing flirty energy like usual ✨✨✨

literally as soon as i walked into work he like kinda looked me up and down and made a face at me (like scrunched his eyebrows its a thing from before) and was like hey stranger ✨ also he looked really fit yesterday i kept sneaking glances at him when i was still working downstairs 😓😓😓

anyways i worked upstairs for most of the night but the beginning and end bit of the shift i was downstairs with him and in that time it was a few things, he stole my cup again (a regular activity and one that started thing whole thing) literally down most of the bar and then came back and pretended to give it to me and then took it back you know what i mean, he also smeared the fridge door i was wiping like ran his finger on it, and he splashed a little water on me when we were by the sinks (hehhe)

oh also when i first came back downstairs he was like where were you?? SO my delusional (i mean am I actually that delulu who knows) self has interpreted that as He Noticed I was gone as in man looks out for me hehehee 🥹✨

also the fridge are on the floor so to wipe them down i have to crouch/kneel down Anyways i was at like knee/thigh/crotch level when he was next to me and at one point he was taking ages closing the bottles on the bar in front of the only fridge door i had to wipe still so i went and was like move for a minute and that and then anyway when i dropped down to wipe it ALL that was on my mind was how badly i want to suck this man off I want to be on my knees in front of him you know 😓😓😓😫😫😫

we also had a few minutes of sitting upstairs waiting for other stuff to do, a bit of it was us alone and it was fine it was a little awkward then a friend of mind came up so we all talked a little it was fine still a little awkward, but anyways this is kinda cringe But i needed man to know i was available so i was mostly talking to my friend but obviously he’s there hehe I brought up how someone asked if i have a man and if he get my number and asked my age etc- work crush then asked like oh you’re 18 right hmhm ask more questions about me feed my delusional self (also the guy I didn’t mention this then but just for here was like fully talking in my ear saying how im beautiful but im too young or something like that all i caught was you’re a beautiful girl thank you good sir i will hold onto that 🫶🏻)

I think that’s basically all thank you for reading 🫶🏻

#work crush #s at work #he also when we were talking i said something about how I actually kinda missed work and he called bullshit #like bro i enjoy it in general geniunely but You are a large part of it 😓😭 makes it a lot more fun you know #anyways moving on #thanks for reading #🥹😁🫶🏻#WHILST im here just to rant a little the normal night buses weren’t running because technically wasnt term time yet #and it took me over an hour to get home #me and two friends walked for a bit then decided to get an uber #wait for ages for the uber and then it says it 3 meters away for ages and CANCELS #so we get another one thats fine fairly quick all good #we get it to girl no1s house so me and my other friend was to her place like a merging point between hers and mind #and I hadn’t seen her in ages so we stood and chatted for a while #then eventually I continued walking to my place another like 15 minutes #oof #was light outside by the time i went to sleep #🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

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actual-corpse · 3 days

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Want.

Fucking.

CHEESEBURGER

#living that 'no red meat' life be like...#id love to fully convert over to pescatarian but FISH IS SO EXPENSIVE #so i suffer with poultry (i am not a poultry fan)#but #and #then i see these people eating the red meat #and im like... damn.... vegetarians are.... oof #bc cutting ALL meats? i can BARELY cut red!#but i am losing weight (probably not entirely related... correlation causation bla blah*)#*i HAVE cut a LOT of fast food trips and soda and have just watched my food intake bc ive decided to make a change....#and ya know #it really proves to me that i CAN change! i CAN improve if I truly want to try!!!#and thats what matters #the ability to follow through!#and i think....#idk #it gives me hope #ive gone back to doing things I like. watching things I enjoy!!#i can watch Trixie Mattel again! (my ex and his friends are Cringe [derogatory]... I actually couldnt watch anything I liked... It was alway #shitty YouTubers talking about Magic The Gathering and Pokemon... and I couldnt object...#i was nothing but a live in maid and when I couldn't do that I got ignored... I wasnt treated well and I guess I set myself up for that but #it still wasnt right! I DESERVE BETTER GOD DAMNIT)#anyway #i REALLY want some shitty McDonald's burgers rn i stg im so fucking glad I live 20mins out of town bc I am so tempted rn #it is ONE AM... The MACCAS WITCHING HOUR! I AM HUNGY... and thursity #but I have a 40 pack of water in my car (I cant afford a LifeStraw filter pitcher and I NEED one for safe water)#byyyyeeee

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ao3commentoftheday · 5 hours

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How do you build confidence as a writer and start to feel okay with your own writing, as well as the stats your writing gets? I’m not a new writer, and I don’t think I’m a bad one, but I am really bad with capturing the fandom zeitgeist, and a lot of the times when I try to write characters based on how they acted in canon, I get accused of bashing them. I don’t care about rude or unflattering comments on my fics, but definitely fewer people kudos my fics when I try to write the characters how I see them instead of fanon characterization, and it sucks to know I don’t make fic recs lists or even get casually recced for anything I’ve ever written on Discord because of my writing choices. More and more often, I feel like I shouldn’t write because I know my fics will never get the praise and attention BNFs do, and then I feel guilty for not writing. But I also know that if I do, I’ll just end up with more fic readers won’t want, and let’s face it: it’s not like anyone will choose my fics when they could have a BNF’s. Is there any way for me to accept that no one will ever love my fic as much as they love fics by BNFs, and to stay motivated in spite of feeling like my writing is just permanently unwanted? Or would giving up at this point be kinder to myself if I can’t stop comparing? (I know frequent advice in these cases is to focus on building friendships and finding a community, but IME, people in fandom either aren’t interested, don’t reach out, or already have had their friends circle since the LJ days and don’t want to bother with you. Any advice on where I’d even begin?)

*hugs* Oof. That's a rough spot to be in, anon, and you're definitely not alone 💗

I think in this situation, you need to figure out what exactly it is that you're looking for. You start by asking how to get confidence as a writer, but I think you already have it. You know what stories you want to tell, and you write those stories the way you want to tell them. To me, that means that you have plenty of confidence. You have a clear vision and goal, and you write with them in mind.

Next, you mention stats but I don't think that's the issue either - except inasmuch as they can be a sign of other things. Stats on their own, however, are just numbers attached to your works. If seeing those numbers on your works and the works of others causes you distress or annoyance or another emotion you'd rather not experience, then I strongly recommend using a site skin to hide them.

The bulk of your message is about what it sounds like the issue really is: attention, praise, and yes community. You want people to get excited with about your works. You want people to talk to other people about the things that you write. You want to feel loved, or at least appreciated. You're not alone in wanting those things either.

I think the writing side of things is going well - at least from the information you've provided here. The part that isn't working for you is the posting. Putting your work up on AO3 is not only dissatisfying, it's actively discouraging you from writing more.

I'm going to make my own suggestion and then I'll leave the floor open for the blog to add in their thoughts: Have you considered role playing instead of fic writing? For the last several years, I've tucked my writing away in a discord server with my fandom bestie. We've written thousands of stories and millions of words, almost none of which have ever been posted to AO3. We don't feel the need for comments and kudos because we're both having so much fun collaborating with our blorbos and each other, writing things to make the other one happy (or sad or laugh etc), that what other people might think about it doesn't actually matter.

She also RPs in various servers with friends and strangers alike, but I haven't enjoyed that as much as just shooting replies back and forth with her. Your mileage may vary, as they say, but that might be one way to get the feedback and excitement that you're craving - whether it's in a big server with lots going on or just a little corner of 2 or 3 people.

What do the rest of you think?

#asks and answers

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knotsoangelic · 26 days

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How things change

Style; Oneshot

Word count; unknown

Pairing; Zadf/Zadqp/Zadr

Media; Invader Zim

Genre; Fluff/Silly

Fic is under the cut. :) this didn’t take me very long, but yk. not used to posting fanfics on here. so. enjoy lmao

————————

“You’re still doing this??”

The sudden voice coming from the far end of the Lab made Zim nearly jump out of his skin. He shot his gaze at the doorway of the lab and blinked a couple times under the light red hue of the monitor in front of him. He narrowed his eyes in immediate distrust.

“How did you get in here?” He asked.

Dib didn’t answer at first, instead trailing his gaze to the monitor. He furrowed his brow. “It’s been years, Zim. I know how garbage your security is.”

All the Irken could do was give a haughty scoff, pushing himself out of his seat and aggressively approaching the human. “It’s superior to anything humans could come up with and you know it,” He stopped in front of Dib, a noticeable 3 inches shorter than him. “Now get out. Im not interested in entertaining whatever shenanigans you have for Zim today.”

Dib’s gaze trailed down to the other. For a few seconds he just stared, narrowing his eyes. But then he relented his gaze, sighing in defeat. “My bad for wondering how the space idiot was doing, considering how long he’s been gone. What gives, anyway? It’s weird not seeing you on campus.”

Zim folded his arms behind his back and glared at the human. “You don’t need to know, Dib.”

“Considering I gotta keep you in check, even after five years, yes. I do need to know.” He gestured to the monitor in exasperation. “Don’t you think this is a bit much? They haven’t answered you in years. Let it go, Zim.”

Instead of giving a response, Zim decided on shoving Dib. It wasn’t rough enough to knock him to the ground, but enough to earn a soft ‘oof’ from the human. “Irkens don’t give up, Dib.” He turned from him and paced back over to the monitor. “They’ll answer. I know they will. They have to.”

Zim wasn’t looking at him, but Dibs expression went from incredulous to somewhat sad in an instant. He, too, was looking at the monitor, and after a few beats of silence, sighed again, this time in frustration.

“If they haven’t answered you in the however-many-years you’ve been trying to call them, they’re not answering, Zim.” Dib kept his annoyance in his tone at bay as well as he feasibly could, instead trying a more pleading tone. “Why is this so important to you anyway? What even happened to conquering the planet?”

Something briefly flashed in Zims eyes, before quickly melting into anger. He turned to face the human, snarling. “It’s still my top priority to take over this planet, filthy pest. You don’t deserve to know the inner workings of my plans. Now get out before I skewer you.”

Dib narrowed his eyes, weighing his options of staying just to piss Zim off or leaving a potentially unstable bomb here to fester. His initial choice was the latter, but after careful consideration, he chose the former. He knew Zim like the back of his hand at this point. It’s been five miserable years since the irken got to earth, and Dib would like to think he knows Zim well enough by now. If anyone could deal with him it was Dib.

He was past trying to stop Zim. He knew how his people saw him. He knew no giant armada would come back to earth. He knew, according to Zims “almighty” leaders, that he was no more than trash that was taken out. He watched this alien break down. He watched him struggle. He knew he wouldn’t actually take over Earth, if he could. After all, where would he go afterwards?

Not to mention Dib was taller than him now. Not by a whole lot, but enough. Dib recalled his initial reaction to the human growing as soon as it started. Pure bewilderment, mixed with a touch of jealousy and a whole lot of rage.

So, Dib simply laughed.

It certainly wasn’t what Zim was expecting. His antennae fell back a bit in confusion. As quick as they did though, his annoyance came back twice as fast. “What on Irk are you laughing at?! I will! I’ll puncture your nasty human organs!” He inches closer to Dib while he threatened, but the human wouldn’t stop laughing.

“Enough! Your sniveling disgusts Zim!” The Irken almost pleaded. Whether he intended to or not, Zim’s antennae fell back again, and he shrunk in on himself. It was only then that Dibs laughter started to die down, and he sighed, letting his gaze focus on Zim again.

“I know you don’t have any plans for earth. You’re too busy ringing up your leaders. You can’t lie to me anymore. I’m immune.” Another sigh, though Dibs smile definitely fell. “Eh….Zim?”

It was like Zim was staring off into space, antennae still uncharacteristically pressed flush back, at almost a 90 degree angle. After a solid minute of zoning out, the Irken suddenly sighed, plopping to the floor and hugging his knees to his chest. For just a second he wanted to pretend Dib wasn’t there, he wanted to sulk in isolation. Unfortunately, Dib didn’t get the hint.

“Uh. I’m sorry.” He said awkwardly. Dib shifted from one foot to the other. “Yknow, uh. I wasn’t even laughing at your threat. I kinda got carried away by memory lane outta nowhere.” He knelt close to Zims level when the other didn’t so much as acknowledge him. “Uhhhh…Zim?”

Faint grumbling muffled through limbs. Dib blinked. “Didn’t catch that.”

A very clear groan. “Don’t you know what ‘go away’ means? Go. Away.” Zim finally spoke clearer, looking up only to say this before burying his face in his knees again.

Dib blinked again, though this time out of pure confusion. He had seen Zims breakdowns, he had seen his grandiosity, he had seen his hurt and rage. All of it. But this was new. And in regards to Zim, Dib didn’t like new.

He noted how the Irkens antennae where flush against his head, like if dog ears where pinned back in fear or submissiveness. In that moment of comparing Zim to a dog, he had to fight back the very human urge to pet.

“I’m not going away, I’ve already said that. Last time I let you sulk in solitude, you were gone for weeks at a time.” Dib internally questioned why he had the urge to check on his enemy in the first place back then, but he didn’t give himself an answer. “I can compromise by not talking though. Startingggg, now.” He scooted closer to Zim until he was sitting next to him, leaning back and sighing. He let his weight rest on the palms of his hands as he stared at the ceiling. He thought he heard a light chitter from the other, but he ignored it. If Zims antennae could get any flatter against his skull, they would.

With the lab now silent and fairly dark, all that was left was the very slight buzzing of the monitor. Zim found without the idiots voice to keep his thoughts from spilling around in his head, he was left with the noise. The awful noise. The metaphorical but equally real noise.

He hated the noise.

Zim sighed again, quieter this time, before swiftly standing and pacing back over to the monitor. He ignored the other as he stared curiously, mulling over whether to try the call again or shut the screen off. After a few moments of working his jaw, he opted for the latter, seating himself in the chair and instead burying his head in his arms at the control panel.

Dib stared. This was going nowhere, wasn’t it? Years and years of trying to convince this dumbass of the obvious, and still. Or did he know, and just refuse to admit it to himself? Dib couldn’t decide which option was more likely. He shifted to face him, biting his tongue. “Silence sucks. I’m done shutting up.”

Zim barely peeled his head up from his arms to glare at the human. “You’re an idiot. I don’t want any more idiot ramblings.”

“Takes one to know one,” Dib shot back half heartedly. “Least you shut the screen off. I really thought you were gonna try again.”

Zim scowled to himself as he turned to bury his head in his arms again. He didn’t even give a proper retort back, just groaned and let his antennae fall slack.

“Cant you see it’s a good thing? Well, not them being horrible leaders or whatever. But think of what you could do. It sucks that they don’t care but they don’t care about ANYTHING that you do. Which means you can do absolutely anything you want.” Dib pauses for a second, “Well, except take over the planet. Obviously. But everything else is free game! Isn’t that a good thing?”

Zim shuffled in his seat slightly, finally looking up from his arms and giving Dib an unreadable expression. Was that confusion? Hurt? Apathy? Dib honestly couldn’t tell. But he left his arms open in offering of his propositions anyway.

“And I mean….I know it isn’t much, but you still have me, right?”

Zims first instinct was to grimace in disgust. He looked away, contemplating, not answering Dib immediately. But then he looked at him again and watched as a cheesy, toothy grin plastered the young adults face. That unreadable expression was back on Zims face. “Yeah. I do.”

The words came out solemnly, making Dib relax his outstretched arms. His smile also faded, but it returned a few seconds later, and he stood, confidently pacing to where Zim was sitting and kneeling ever so slightly to meet his eye level.

“I don’t know about you but I think it’s cool when there’s at least ONE person who knows what it’s all like. Or, at the very least, can understand it.” Dib leaned on the control panel. “I know you can’t deny that. I know cause you seek that kind of validation from me all the time.”

Zims head shot up and he glared, almost resembling a pout. But his antennae still lay flat against his head. “You wish someone as amazing as me did such a thing.”

Dibs smile didnt falter once. “Uh-huh.”

For some reason, the way Dib uttered that confirmation made Zim’s antennae twitch. He looked away, feigning confidence as he fidgeted with his uniform. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Human.”

Rolling his eyes, Dib allowed himself to lean off the control panel and closer to the Irken. “But you do though,” He quipped. “Remember when you begged me to give you a compliment in exchange for that soda? A compliment. Not even, like, one of my organs or something.”

Zims face was turning a different color, and he was afraid it was starting to become noticeable. “Stop it.”

“Or that time you were confused as to why I wasn’t COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED about being in a simulation where we live together.”

“Shut up.”

“Or that time you built some planet-ending machine and got mad when I wasn’t jumping for joy at the idea of you showing it off-“

“Shut UP, Dib!” Zim suddenly shot up, angry. His face was painted bright pink. His antennae still lay flat against his head. “Those where all things DUE to me or threats! Nothing else!”

“Then why are the threats empty? Or why are the requests for praise so desperate?” Dib smirked, not once faltering. Their faces were oddly close together. “I mean surely you would’ve been happy to follow through with all of those threats if they were actually threats.”

Zim couldn’t break Dibs gaze and it was eating him alive. He gulped, seeking from within himself any kind of plausible answer, but found nothing, instead finding himself staring dumbly at the equally dumb human in front of him. He felt as his antennae started to vibrate, and he shrunk in on himself again, only breaking Dibs gaze when he was seated once more. Dib gave an airy laugh.

“Yeah. I thought so. But hey, the feelings reciprocated, so I don’t care really.” He found himself staring at the Irkens antennae again, noting how far back they were positioned still. “I mean I gave you what you wanted and you gave me what I wanted…sort of. So evens even, right?” Dib knelt further and Zims eyes shot to his again. “Yknow. We don’t really have to be enemies anymore. Especially if there’s no plan for me to stop anyway.”

Zim narrowed his eyes. “Why would I ally with a disgusting human?”

“Fair point. Counter argument; who else do you have to ally with, space boy?”

Zim opened his mouth to retort, but came up empty, settling for clenching his fists and snarling. “I hate you.”

“Mmhm.” Dib dully acknowledged, “Is that why your antennae are positioned where they are? Or is that another coincidence?”

Said antennae twitched. Zim just looked away.

“I mean, I’ve never seen you so passive before. Body-language wise, anyway.” Dib shrugged. “Usually when an animals ears are back like that it means fear or submissiveness.”

This got the Irkens antennae to shoot right back up again. He glared daggers at Dib. “Like I would ever be subservient to you!”

“I said submissive, not subservient. Dumbass.”

Back down they go. Zim growled. “Do you enjoy being a nuisance to every living creature that breathes?”

“I kinda do actually,” Dib said with a smirk. He was getting under Zims skin. It was his favorite pastime. “Gives me reason to keep living. I’ve grown to liking living out of spite of others actually.” Dib stretched, cracking his knuckles as his arms hyperextended. “It’s even more fun when the person in question fucking LOATHES you.”

Zim glared at first, but then his expression softened into that unreadable expression again. This caught Dib off guard and his smirk fell, drawing attention to the Irken. Zim was looking at his gloved hand, mindlessly flexing his thumb claw in indecipherable thought. Dibs eyes trailed back to his antennae; flat, but tense. He couldn’t resist the urges anymore. With a mild amount of hesitance, Dib reached his hand up, letting it rest in an oddly gentle way on the top of Zims head. The other tensed at the touch, but didn’t move. “I mean, bickering is bickering. Spite is spite. At the end of the day it’s just….fun. Nothing else.”

Dib was surprised that his hand wasn’t immediately smacked away, but he was equally surprised at the noises the Irken emitted when he gave him gentle pats. He watched as the others antennae started to relax, cocking an eyebrow at the otherworldly trills and chitters Zim produced. Dib stifled a laugh at the sight, especially when he felt the alien pressing his head further into his hand, like a cat.

Dib shifted his gaze to look Zim in the eyes, about to make a snarky remark, but held his tongue when he saw the Irkens eyes were closed. At the sound of movement, Zim cracked a magneta-colored eye open to look back at Dib.

“Usually when someone goes for the head, it’s to kill.” Zim said neutrally. “Taller irkens aren’t especially known for giving out head pats to their shorter kin.”

This time, Dib allowed himself to airily laugh. “Thanks, captain obvious.” A sharp pain went up his hand. “Ow, what the fuck, Zim?! That hurt!” The human withdrew his bitten hand in an instant, scowling.

It was Zims turn to crack a smile, and it seemed oddly genuine. “That’s what would happen if they tried.”

Dib furrowed his brow. “Thanks for the info, I guess.” He let venom lace his last few words in that sentence, raising his hand experimentally to pet him again, only stopping when Zim ducked from his hand.

“If we’re doing this whole….’alliance’ thing, it’s on my terms and my terms alone. You have no power here, nasty human.” He narrowed his eyes at Dib. “You go too far, you get bitten. Or smacked. Whichever one I feel like doing that day.” Dibs hand fell back to his side.

“Man, you really are just like a cat.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I guess I agree to your stupid terms.”

“Good.” Zim smiled deviously. He stood up quickly, knocking Dib back onto his rear. Zim stood above him, still grinning maniacally. “For starters, get out of my lab. You’re making it smell bad in here.”

#iz #invader zim #zadf #zadr #zadqp #fanfiction #oneshot #iz oneshot #zadf oneshot #zadr oneshot #zadqp oneshot #writing #iz fanfiction #knotsoart #idk how to utilize tumblr format for writing i’ve never posted fic here before. forgive me #fluff #hurt/comfort #soft

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molsno · 11 months

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Your post on transandrophobia was the first time i'd heard of it and it from just reading your post it made sense why it couldn't be real. But i didnt want to adopt a new belief against something without looking into why people are for it. Upon reading many other posts and doing a bunch of thinking i now have a few thoughts on your post id appreciate your input on as you seem understanding and extremely well-read

please correct me if i'm wrong, but your argument against transandrophobia is that transandrophobia as the combination of androphobia/misandry and transphobia (to mirror transmisogyny being a combination of misogyny and transphobia) cannot exist because androphobia/misandry does not exist

you are completely correct that misandry does not exist in the same systemic way that misogyny does, it would be idiotic to argue otherwise, but our current system of gender stereotypes/expectations does also negatively impact men. Men are seen as inherently violent, dangerous, emotionless, and too sexual. (ie. men aren't belived when victims of rape bc/they must've enjoyed it, men are more likely to be incarcerated)

Men's Rights Activists and people like them were wrong in believing they suffered more than women and that women gaining rights was the cause of their suffering, but they did correctly identify that men also suffered from the patriarchy (and im forever gonna be salty that they were so close to understanding but instead of engaging in solidarity they decided to be misogynist about it)

When combined with other forms of oppression the often excused or ignored negative associations with masculinity are viewed as horrible problems

For example black men have to constantly make themselves less threatening when near white women because it is assumed they have malicious intent. Historically many many black men have been lynched in order to 'protect' white women. Yes it was very much racism, but it wasn't a coincidence that black men were the victims far more than black women.

Lesbians have historically been seen as inherently masculine therefore dangerous and predatory. The same associations now are used to justify transwomen being banned from women's spaces because they must be inherently masculine therefore inherently sexually predatory.

There is a narrative that Testosterone should be avoided for transmascs because it will make them into ugly violent monsters.

In specifically queer spaces there is often a strong stigma against being proud to be masculine. Which makes sense as most of the groups and people who have been openly proud of their masculinity before have been actively advocating for the elimination of queer people, but masculinity in itself is not anti-queer and shouldn't be treated as such.

There are many transmasc struggles seperate from transfem struggles that could potentially be more accurately described as an intersection of misogyny and transphobia, such as the infantilization and denial of control over our bodies, but because transfem people have established transmisogyny as a term to talk about their struggles and because there are several struggles resulting from our specifically trans masculinity, transandrophobia was chosen instead to not encroach on transfem's space while still having the ability to speak about our struggles.

thank you if you actually spent the time to read this and i genuinely hope you have a great day :]

thank you for being open to criticism with these ideas but oof, there's a lot to unpack here. frankly, I find it a little hard to believe you'd never heard the word transandrophobia before, considering you're regurgitating all of its talking points. you say that misandry doesn't exist at a systemic level, but then all of these points are framed as if it does. we'll go through that, but first, some foundations:

our current gender system may negatively impact men in a few narrow circumstances, but it is ultimately self-inflicted (even if some women do uphold it), and still benefits them. men are perceived as violent, dangerous, and too sexual because they continue to perpetuate a gender system that oppresses women with sexual violence. still, to this day, marital rape is not punished with the same severity as non-marital rape. still, to this day, women stay in abusive relationships out of fear that their boyfriends/husbands will commit acts of violence against them if they try to leave.

do you understand? violence, and ESPECIALLY sexual violence, is a tool men wield to maintain power, sometimes over other men, but especially over women. they wield this tool voluntarily because it benefits them, even if it does have its drawbacks in some circumstances. violence is punishable under the law, which is why men who perpetrate violence against other men tend to be incarcerated at higher rates than men who perpetrate violence against women. after all, women aren't considered full human beings with equal rights, so violence against them isn't a severe offense. our society was structured around the premise that women are men's property with which they can do whatever they want. that's why, for instance, when men are raped by women, they aren't believed; the very concept of a woman wielding sexual power over men is unthinkable in the eyes of society.

misogyny is one of the oldest forms of oppression - it's existed since nearly the dawn of society itself, and has existed in cultures all over the world for thousands of years. as a result, it is baked into the very foundation of society. if your analysis of gendered systems doesn't begin from this basic fact, then your analysis is incorrect.

certainly, men uphold very rigid, overly-restrictive notions of masculinity which can harm them in some cases, but this "toxic masculinity" as it's come to be known is really just a means of threatening other men with transmisogyny. I've written a whole post about it here.

with all of that out of the way, let's go through the rest of your examples of supposed misandry one by one.

first, while you are correct that there is a long history of violence being enacted upon black men because they are perceived as a threat to white women, the cause of this phenomenon is just racism. as you will recall in an earlier paragraph, I stated that men are perceived as violent and dangerous because they uphold a system of sexual ownership over women. any man that may pose a threat to another man's ownership over a woman must be punished with violence. now, black people regardless of gender are seen as hypersexual in this white supremacist society, so when it comes to black men in particular, they are perceived as being more likely to threaten a white man's ownership over a white woman - hence the amount of violence they face.

now, I need to say, I'm white, and while I do my best to learn about racism and how it intersects with other forms of oppression, my understanding will always be limited by my privilege as a white person. I've never experienced racism and I never will, so I don't have the full nuance to explain this topic in particular that comes with lived experience. that being said, I find it very callous and cruel that transandrophobia truthers repeatedly use the violence black men face as "proof" of their beliefs, especially because they act like black women aren't also subjected to racist violence, which they very much are. here's a thread by two black bloggers about this topic that I think discusses this phenomenon better than I ever could - be sure to check the read more link in it.

moving on, your point about lesbians and trans women (note the space) is, frankly, extremely insulting. misandry is not a part of my oppression. people don't hate me because I'm masculine, they hate me because I'm a tranny. they hate me SPECIFICALLY because I reject manhood in its entirety. they hate me because my very existence calls into question the validity of the assumptions that 1. there are two opposite mutually exclusive genders with absolutely no overlap and 2. manhood and masculinity is inherently superior to womanhood and femininity. that's why they portray people like me as a threat to cis women. if I'm free to exist in the way that makes me happiest, then the gender system that gives men absolute unchecked power over women will crumble. lesbians are also reviled and viewed as predatory for their rejection of subservience to men and their attraction to women, which - again, threatens men's control over them.

I'm going to go out of order here and address your point about queer spaces being hostile to masculinity. it just isn't true. I've never seen a single person provide an adequate explanation for how there is a stigma in queer spaces against masculinity that wasn't just lesbophobia and transmisogyny in disguise. it always boils down to "waah lesbians and trans women are mean to men and people who like men :(", a la this post.

now, last but not least, your points about transmascs. they're discouraged from transitioning because we live in a transphobic society. there is nothing unique about that. transfems are subjected to the exact same rhetoric.

transmascs do not experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. they may experience both of these, but they are not intersecting, and any assertion to the contrary demonstrates an abysmal understanding of intersection, whether willfully or not. I've already written another post about this exact topic.

I hope this was helpful, but for future reference, I'm going to say this: most women are not going to be so patient and understanding when you approach them with a giant wall of text asking them to explain misogyny to you. I did not have to do any of this for you, and you shouldn't expect me to. I've already written and reblogged many posts about the topics you've brought up here, as you've seen, and you could have easily found most of them by looking through my writing and transmisogyny tags. I hope you have a good day, but please do not do this again.

#ask #avacadokin #transmisogyny #my writing

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mywingsareonwheels · 9 months

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On "Endeavour" series 9 (a critical/disappointed but affectionate post)

Cut for length, spoilers, and criticism :)

I've been thinking so much (too much ;-) ) about the ending of Endeavour since it came out. Sometimes joyfully, sometimes wistfully, mostly sadly. Occasionally angrily.

What series 9, and especially 9.3 really needed to do was a) wind up and honour the character arcs/plot arcs of Endeavour and b) set things up for Inspector Morse. And honestly, after months of pondering and thinking and hearing other people's views on it (both those I agree with and those I don't, the latter actually including Shaun Evans's ;-) )... I think it did at least partially fail in both those aims. But I think it failed ambitiously and lovingly. Which matters.

The Bad Stuff:-

The key problem Russell Lewis has said he had in writing s9 was the Thursday family and the fact that Morse never mentions any of them in IM, at least unless Joan really is the Mrs Strange of that period of time.

This problem was made worse by the fact that they are four of the most lovable characters in Endeavour, and that the relationship between Morse and Fred Thursday is the key one within it. So I can see the logic! Something awful has to happen. And given Morse's romantic interest in Joan, the Thursday family generational war trauma, and Fred's PTSD-ridden tendencies towards explosive violence when he's feeling protective of his loved ones or other vulnerable people... I can see why Lewis went with the solution he did.

The trouble is... solving the Problem of the Thursdays I think took over series 9 to such an extent that the writing managed to:-

a) honestly? fridge the character development and perceived quality of all four Thursdays (especially Fred and Joan, both of whom I think got a really rough deal tbh) in order to further Morse's long-term arc, which really is a bit bloody unfair after 9 seasons. Very very damn unfair in fact. And... uncompassionate, which is awful given that overall Endeavour is one of the most compassionate shows I've ever seen.

b) undermine Jakes's return by giving a necessary incompleteness to his search for Big Pete (and also massively underusing Jack Laskey, but honestly the fact that series 9 was only three episodes long did cause problems there).

c) turn Big Pete/Raymond Kennet into just a plot device for the aforementioned fridging of Fred's character development which... actually I admit didn't fully notice until I read a fic chapter today which did the opposite, but oof.

d) undermine Max's friendship with Morse in Inspector Morse by ignoring it completely and implying that Morse is Alone Forever after the events of Endeavour which just Isn't The Case (and again, James Bradshaw was shockingly underused). Gods could we have done with at least one scene where it was recognised that Max isn't going anywhere and they like each other so much. <3

e) actually? Undermine the complexity of the Morse of Inspector Morse too. Because DCI Morse? Is not constantly miserable and dour and closed off and unable to connect with people. He has friends, he has choir, he can make literary references in the station and have a random PC pick them up, he has a positively impish sense of humour at times, he still has his wonderful relationship with Joyce. His house is gorgeous and thoroughly well-loved. He immediately warms to Lewis who is a lot like Thursday at times, and he clearly rather enjoys Lewis teasing him so much. He is kind and compassionate, and sometimes his manner with witnesses is very like Thursday's avuncular best moments. Sure, DCI Morse is also difficult and grumpy and most definitely an alcoholic; he struggles to open up fully to people and never manages to pull off a long-term romantic relationship. But he's not a permanent ice king. He's actually a lot more like the earlier DC Morse at times than the Morse of the last few minutes of 9.3! The whole "I was betrayed by Thursday and now I will never trust anyone ever again ever" thing just wasn't necessary in order to set up Morse in his 40s and 50s. If anything, it leaves open the question of how he navigates what's actually a rather larger character jump than it would have been if Endeavour had ended earlier. Which just... ngyargh. (Also, I mean... I'm not aro, very emphatically not, but even I can see that there's something more than a bit problematic about the suggestion that Morse's life is tragic forever because he's usually single.)

Here's the other thing though: the one respect in which he is very closed-off even with Lewis in Inspector Morse is that he never tells Lewis about anyone important in his past unless he actually has to (usually because they die a violent death and his connection with the victim comes up). Never mentioning the Thursdays, Dorothea, Bright, Jakes? It didn't need that intense an explanation. At least, not a "he can't even bear to think about Fred or Joan again" explanation. It just means none of them died a violent death in Thames Valley during his time as DCI which, you know, I am extremely fricking glad about! ;-) He could press the still-beloved Thursday family to his heart like flowers, and that would be enough. He could still be getting postcards from all of them right up to the end (and I'm persisting in believing that he does ;-) ).

To unpack point a) a bit:- I mean where Joan's concerned I think a lot of us agree on this. I actually do like Strange! But it is horrible that we never hear anything about Joan's social work in series 9; it's implied that she's giving up her job in order to marry him. And Joan finding herself and moving towards saving the world one woman at a time was beautiful. I mean, there was no obligation to have everyone have a happy ending series 9! But the ending of that arc of Joan's without explanation and without comment. Not even a brief discussion where she says that she's regarding it as worth it, or is wondering about going back to work at some point... gah. That's harsh. Also, if she is the Mrs Strange of Inspector Morse? That isn't going to be a very happy marriage. :( So we're left I think hoping that they'll divorce, and that Joan will go back to social work one day, and perhaps go and find her family.

And Fred. Oh Gods, Fred. I mean, I have made so many posts about him on here. ;-) The thing is: with the context provided in series 9, him committing manslaughter (not murder! not under English/Welsh law! and he might even have a decent case for self-(and other) defense!) and perverting the course of justice (yeah okay that he definitely is guilty of) in order to save Sam... it makes sense. He has had his moments of violence, and I think it's crucial to not forget that he's killed two people to save Morse in the past. Which... is part of what frustrates me, because it feels like the narrative in 9.3 is that we should treat Fred killing to save Sam as somehow less morally okay than him killing to save Morse. Which is the kind of protagonist-centered morality (or indeed police-centered morality?) that the morseverse generally avoids, and I Do Not Like It.

But the precise circumstances that series 9 creates in order to make it convincing for Fred to a) do that, b) cover it up, c) snap that badly at Morse, d) try to justify what he's done to Morse... they were extreme. It takes one of the most intense piles of trauma laid on one character in one 3-episode season of anything I think I've ever seen. Fred is going through so much, he's so broken, he's so burnt out. And I mean... of course! It took all of that to make him make those mistakes! But in retrospect... if you need to set up that intense a situation in order to make a character fuck up enough to further the plot line of another character... yeah. Hence my comment about fridging his arc. The point of Morse and Fred's relationship until series 9 has always been that even though they are both very flawed and very fallible, their love for each other is a good and awesome thing (series 7 I think really brings that home <3 ). It feels to me that 9.3 makes the whole of the rest of the show less moving and good, and that's... oh that's sad. So sad. :( I mean, I'm very biased, the Morse & Fred relationship has always been my favourite thing about Endeavour! But if the ultimate message is "Morse should never have loved Fred that much, however kind Fred was and however often he saved Morse's life"... oh that's just... it makes the whole thing so much thinner. This is, apart from anything else, a man who explicitly puts his marriage at risk when his son is missing in order to save Morse at the end of s8! But now we're supposed to see everything a tragedy because Morse has to accept that he isn't that important to Fred and never has been because during a really intense few months he's not been Fred's number 1 priority and... gaaaah.

This is terribly rambly; I'm really not as articulate today as I should like. Apologies!

The thing is: I've been fighting actually-being-a-bit-disappointed-in-series 9 for months, but now I'm going "no actually they failed" I can be a bit more generous. :)

Because...

The Good Stuff:

a) Bright's arc is fantastic. 100/10, no criticisms. <3 Probably the only one I'm fully happy about but I am very happy about it.

b) There is not a split-second in the whole of series 9 (the whole of Endeavour in fact) in which the acting is other than superb, especially from the main cast. That farewell scene between Morse and Thursday? Fucking hell. I mean, Roger Allam is my favourite actor, he never disappoints, but he still astounded me! And Shaun was also just magnificent. <3 And why hasn't Anton Lesser played Prospero yet; his delivery of the speech was incredible! Also fucking hell Caroline O'Neill is an unsung hero of the whole show.

c) To do the Fred arc justice: Fred's morality wasn't thrown away over nothing. I do feel that the trauma-conga-line-to-enable-Fred-to-let-Morse-down-sufficiently bordered at least on the contrived and unkind, but my Gods it would have been so much worse if it wasn't there! <3

d) So much nuance. I mean the fact that a lot of us cheerfully disagree with each other over how forgiving or otherwise Morse was feeling towards Fred? Is based on microexpressions, and call-backs, and how much we can read into the layering of Fred's image over the reference to Lazarus "born a pauper" in the "In Paradisum" of the Faure Requiem, and what sounds like was more than one filmed version of the farewell scene. I mean, my Gods. Endeavour has always respected the intelligence of the viewer, but that was something else.

e) The nitty-gritty of the dialogue never stopped being wonderful. Some absolutely incredible lines, literary references, layered scenes... I know I talk about James Bradshaw and Jack Laskey being underused, but the lines that each of Max and Jakes got while actually onscreen? Phenomenal. Ditto Abigail Thaw/Dorothea, on all counts.

f) The cinematography bloody hell. <3 <3 <3 And the music! Aaah!

The failures of series 9 I see are in pacing, and in making flawed decisions that don't serve the characterisation. They aren't, not once, about the quality of filmmaking being anything other than fantastic. <3 Or the storyline being other than extremely ambitious. There's nothing lazy or cheap or shock-tactics-for-the-sake-of-shock-tactics or (grr) prioritising being unpredictable over being good. It's all earnest and loving and beautifully-realised.

So many times when a show ends disappointingly (or a show's current main actor's final series ending disappointingly *cough*Shetland*cough*) it's down to lack of care and attention and love. I can't possibly accuse Russell Lewis or anyone involved in Endeavour of that. <3

I just... I just wish, so much, that they'd made different choices for the Thursdays. But at least we still have fanfic. :-)

(Also, full love to those of you who disagree with me on part or all of this! I love that this is a fandom where we can agree to disagree, and avoid much in the way of ship wars/character wars etc.. <3 Long may it continue!)

#itv endeavour #endeavour spoilers #endeavour s9 #endeavour s9 spoilers #itv inspector morse #mild inspector morse spoilers #endeavour critical #but also #endeavour admiring #e morse #endeavour morse #inspector morse #fred thursday #joan thursday #russell lewis

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fleurfay · 2 months

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Writeblr Intro (cuz i forgot about this)

AYUP everyone my name's Fleur, i'm a 19 years old woman, im cishet and painfully neurodivergent (AuDHD and MADD). Im also brazilian and christian so there's that! (Trilingual beast coming at ya!)

I've been a writer since who knows when, started to write fanfiction in the worst fandom i could've started (...the beatles), went to an amazing fandom -that turned out to not be that amazing but my writing and storytelling evolved exponentially so im grateful- to now being more focused in original works

I'm currently writing a book with my friend (@serenity-of-waffles)*, and i might probably work in scripts for comics, animations and maybe games????? Let's see-

yeah im an artist too hehehe

Genres i enjoy reading/writing: Fantasy, Scifi, Romance, Thriller/Suspense, Horror, Slice of Life, Supernatural

Here comes the lists of things i like to see in a book and that i tend to write it in my own stuff:

FOUND FAMILY!

A good well written romance sometimes doesn't kill ^.^ (im a cliché beast, careful)

Tragic Backstory? Sign me in

NEURODIVERSITY

Supernatural ocurrences and creatures. Analog Horror, Psychological Horror as well

Super heroes? Yes

Mythological metaphores

I write for both Youth and Adult (im a sucker for children's books they can get so dark suddenly and is amazing)

Mystery elements yesyesyes a good suspense

Deep relationships

Consequences. I love consequences.

Historical plots and period inspired fiction

Super powers, creatures, magic, a whole well made worldbuilding (Tolkien wannabe)

SOOOO what am i looking for??

FRIENDS! People to rant about my silly stories and worlds!

More writers to follow and engage and and- ykwim

Current WIPS? hmmmmm

• Eden Fables: The Inkweaver's Diary - (*NOT WRITING ALONE) So this one i won't give much detail, just know that me and my friends we're going absolutely insane over this book and the entire possible series and is our child, you're not fucking ready. The best fantasy book i ever written in my life TRUST ME. Blame Tolkien and C.S Lewis for inspiring us so much- (sorry for the vague synopsis muahahahah) A story of a boy displaced in time and space as he finds his heart and returns to his throne, finding a family along the way while dealing with the craziest adventures.

• Boreal City (future comic :O) - A retrofuturistic cyberpunk super-hero universe about many different points ot view and adventures that are actually connected (like the Marvel Comics universe or DC comics). Its being one of my favorites so far im having so much fun doing it hehe

Its very inspired by many superhero and retro-cyberpunk media, i cant count here how many hehe Synopsis (for at least one of the stories): From a family of superheroes, turned into a villain by his own demise, and disappearing for 5 years, GlitchWave makes his stupendous comeback in an unexpected redemption arc, and it all starts when he meets his brother again.....

• Gritia's Great Mystery - An amazing story about a corrupt kingdom trying to hide all evidence that god exists, aside from other...cruel crimes against certain groups of people. The aesthetic is a mix of enlightnment era, renassaice and victorian age, all together mixed with elements of thriller, romance, mystery and BIG drama. Maybe one of my most serious stories, since i wont hold back in the critics n shit

The Crown Family of Gritia, for centuries, tries to make the existence of the Mighty King, aka god, a tabboo, or even erase him from all existence, alongside his followers. Anything that goes astray the status quo is suscetible of punishment (or worse....)

That makes Spencer's life a bit complicated, even if he doesnt know abt the Mighty King's existence, he's part of a secret society...lets see where this goes right?

OOF DAMMT I SPOKE A LOT HUH SORRY IM A TALKER! Hope to find more writer friends along the way ^.^

#fleurfay speaks #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writeblr intro #female writers #artists on tumblr #adhd writer #madd writer

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theblankest123 · 7 months

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Some random thoughts on the thunder leak we got so far

The way the person wrote it, it really sounds like Splashtail is actually genuenly alarmed and in horror with Frostpaw dissapearing and then Whistlepaw telling him that she got carried off by a buzzard. Like that seems like a bit of a weird of a guy that we suspect of attacking frostpaw with the intention of murder. Makes me wonder if Splashtail was not the one that attacked her? Maybe he genuienly thought of Frostpaw as a good asset to him becoming a leader and did not actually want her dead? Does he know who might have attackled her but cannot comment on it? Very curious.....

Sunbeam i hope you dump your impulsive ass bf but stay in TC with your brand new adopted family. The way they all support her a ton and the way how she seems to both enjoy and be good at mentoring, doing the task, it sounds cute as hell. Someone mentioned that she might be given one of the kits as an apprentice to signify that TC trusts her which hell yeah thatd be great :]

Didnt really like how they tried to make squirrelflight at the time sound unreasonable with Bramble being the reasonable one in that one chapter after the first moonpool visit failed, wether it was the person writing it in the forum or the book, but alas. Ooooo Brambe is the reasonable one and Squirrelflight/star is SOOOO unreasonable therefore bramble is in the right always and squirrel is wrong and bad. Like shuddup. Hope thats not what they were going with. Either way a minor pet peeve its just bramblesquirrel arguing again like always

Frostpaw my girl my beloved little gal. Ily. She is now the chosen cat by starclan tasked to go on a journey, break riverclan appart and then rebuild it. Little girl's gonna fuck shit up hell yeah

Curlfeather is absolutely in darkforest kitty hell isnt she. Ooo man. And starclan did not want to tell Frostpaw that because oof she is already going through a lot lets not drop that bomb on her juuust yet, she'll figure out that her mom was doing shady things and might have been involved in Reed's death eventually.

They are absolutely gonna use the being spayed plot point as a means to cause a bit more angst for Frostpaw arent they. She was thinking of maybe having children one day and naming one of em after her mom. Poor gal. Well, at least we wont have another female wc protag end up being reduced to mom. Let's hope that the erins handle this not absolutely horribly.

Tigerstar: its fiiiine that im still in control of the RC territory i mean look how much i have helped them look how great they are doing with me!

River Clan: *is in complete fucking shambles*

#asc spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #thunder spoilers #warrior cats thunder

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endenope · 2 months

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Youre probably the only artists whose top alhaitham content didn't make me immediately want to close the website (just not my thing no offense to anyone) and even made me actually enjoy the dynamic, I would maybe even like to see more. I like the thought of energetic young Alhaitham just railing Kaveh everytime he starts to overthink their situation. Heh, maybe Alhaitham using in to convince Kaveh to try kinky stuff, asking him in the middle of climaxing so Kaveh wouldn't say no.

noo i get it. like i said, i enjoy both kvthm and hkvh, with a preference for bottom haitham. with bottom kaveh im extremely picky bc u know (i dont wanna rant abt it again rn) and enjoy a specific flavor so yea, its hard to find stuff i genuinely enjoy but when i do its rlly nice stuff oof

anw !! i feel honored you enjoy my hkvh!!! even tho its very very rare that i post some AHHA. idk most stuff i come up with jsut fits my kvthm tastes more but sometimes i can see it for both and thats when i cant decide (like now). i like ur thought there a lot tho 👀

#reply

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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shiny-miltank · 8 months

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A leche hobbies update:

Update on knitting adventures: almost done with a scarf I started 🤔 dropped stitches everywhere but it really helps with my adhd to have something in my hands to play with while feeling like I’m working towards something! Don’t think I’ll show it off though LMAO, it’s ugly as a scarf but I like it as a “baby’s first scarf” to look back on when I get better. And it’s warm :)!

Other thing: picked up a sewing machine from the good will and still in really great shape and working! Its old and has character and I love it HAH. I’m learning from my abuelita on her own machine. It’d be great to combine this and knitting to make essentials and to repair clothes that really need it.

Drawing/not really a hobby it’s my “Jobby”: sorry for being a lil slow on updates! I got a little bit of burnout and I really want to finish summers commissions so I can clear my schedule more. I’m just about done so I’m no longer chipping on three projects at a time between my full time job oof-but do know they are being worked on. I’ve got adoptables on the way and sketching the next ask-n update! I’ve also been keeping an eye on other places to post like insta and bluesky but I feel like I need to like…observe? Some more? Before committing and learning whole new platforms and posting schedules bleh.

I got other projects in the pipeline, one including a pmd thing, more Paldea headcanons and what not and some certain purple psychic cat things returning. But all in due time! Can’t overwhelm myself : 0

And a little bit of a rant or ramble about perhaps dropping a longtime hobby I’ve had and feeling sad about it beneath the cut ;( but if you’ve read this far thanks! Love ya’ll for supporting me!

I think a handful of you? Know I roleplay on this platform and have for a good seven? Eight? Years. It’s fun, a lot of my ideas and headcanons and art I’m known for were actually jump started by some random thread or idea from between my rp partners and what not. The Mewtwo blog, ask-n, scarlet turo and etc etc were old muses or ideas that turned into their own thing. It’s always been so easy to write and collaborate your ideas with the rp community you’re in and it becomes it’s whole big thing!

But I know it hasn’t always been the healthiest hobby for me after awhile but esp when I want to focus on content creation as a job that I’m really into. I no longer have the time to maintain plots and characters despite being so determined to stick to it. It’s becoming more of a distraction of just scrolling down the rp dashboard out of FOMO more then anything and heck I can’t even see most of it as a lot of events and verses and etc I blacklist to attempt to curb anxiety and distractions which haven’t been working lately 🤔 I still get lots of anxiety.

That and the community’s changed really. I know every old rper has typed their piece on “back in the good old days-“, leaves their blog and doesn’t give any useful advice or attempt to change the narrative lol. I don’t want to do that.

And it’s not the communities fault either. It’s natural for spaces to change to help new ideas and new people come in. It just means maybe it’s no longer meant for me and that’s okay. If anything it’s more how my friends I’ve been with for all my time there have left or are leaving. There’s a disconnect I can’t seem to get over no matter what new muse or idea I promote esp when I’m no longer comfortable in the space I enjoyed for so long. I never had to block so many things before and again not the communities fault and none of the things I’m blocking are unsavory, it’s more like my tastes and likes and dislikes and what I have spoons for have just become different over so long. It’s totally a me thing.

It’s in my mind that maybe it’s okay to let it go since I’m getting so hyped for my newer hobbies and the ideas I have for my art/comics. I don’t have the time anymore to dedicate so much energy on it like I use to esp when even over all my work Im still figuring out my adhd after getting diagnosed officially, new meds, the other mental diagnosis that makes the mental soup in my head alongside other life stuff.

I owe rp in general for helping me get that creative spark and through a lot of tough, long dark times. It’s provided me with the escapism and outlet since like, forever. I started rping in ye old Neopet neomail days and haven’t stopped since besides the occasional period that didn’t last long. Who knows maybe this is just a rut and I’ll feel better tomorrow or next week or something. Could be the change of seasons where my seasonal depression kicks in but I’m not quitting yet but it’s somewhere in the funky mind palace as I navigate this weird patch.

Thanks if you’ve read my ramblings this far! I wish there was a way to reward peeps who read through my long jargon? It just feels good to know I can scream into the void and sometimes I’ll have one or two people nod at me in understanding. Idk, I’ll think of something—

#leche text

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asteria7fics · 2 months

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oh god... oh god.... that last chapter... holy fuck...

im having as many feelings as i had when i read the actual song of Achilles book, i kid you not. dude.... please i know that everything has been canon adjacent from this point, and no actual deviations have happened relationship-wise. but oh my god please let then have like,,,, a forehead kiss or something. i need it... they are achilles and patroclus... im gonna sob. oh y god this is like AUGHDG. them.... i cant even think rn like my brain is mush...

AAAAH I'm so glad you've enjoyed their relationship!!

Truthfully TSOB has but mere crumbs of romantic implications, and that was entirely intentional! I wanted the fic to be enjoyable to people who do and don't ship Style or Bunny alike (which the latter has even fewer crumbs lmao oof).

HOWEVER! My next project (which is still currently untitled) will have... Well, a lot more than just forehead kisses. I'll leave it at that! ( ꈍ◡ꈍ)

THANK YOU for reading my work!!! I appreciate you so much!!!

#ask asteria #thank you for being so sweet in my asks!!!!#i appreciate the love tsob is getting!!!#shes my baby and im very proud of her #south park #fanfiction

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kaaragen · 3 months

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YES IM SO GLAD YOU REBLOGGED THE ASK GAME! 😍 I’d like to know ❤️💕🦋🦈💘🚦📚🎨

❤️ Argh! this is the one I was hoping I wouldn't be asked because I remember having a line I was very proud of but I can't remember what the damn thing was now! XD

Of the lines I remember liking, I'd say this one is one I'm very pleased with looking back, as sentimental as it is. Ignore the fact that I'm cheating because there's more than one, but the context of the previous line is necessary:

"Because you, and millions of others, have fought and suffered through a war that’s killed billions, wrought by the most sophisticated minds of the age.

"So maybe childish, naïve and idealistic is worth a try."

💕 It has to be And if we Fell Together, which I think is also the best thing I've written. It honestly still boggles my mind how popular that became, and especially when I think about how close I was to never actually writing or posting it. But I'm very glad I did, and reading it back gives me so much joy. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank the people who read it enough, or convey how much it meant to me, not least for the confidence boost it gave me when I was at a really low point.

🦋Oof, that's actually a tough one...I like writing Ahsoka and Barriss for different reasons; mainly because they are interesting foils in how they hide their insecurities. Barriss presents with a lot of poise and decorum, but internally she's a hot screaming mess; whereas Ahsoka outwardly projects confidence, but is very insecure and almost uses 'running headfirst at things' to stop herself from thinking and being paralysed.

But lately, I'm really enjoying teenage Tatooine Leia and pre-fuck-up-with-the-Duchess Sabine. Both are quite fun to unpick and work backwards from their canon characters and think 'okay, but if they were in this environment and didn't have that what would they be like?' without removing their essential natures as characters.

🦈 It used to be Luminara, as I really struggled to get a handle on her. After her confrontation with Barriss, where she loses her poise, it became a lot easier as it clicked that she's devoutly committed to the Jedi Order and the spiritual ideals of the Force, but is also using them to mask her uncertainties about what to do in situations.

As of now, it's probably Seventh Sister - who is fun to write, but also needs care as she is a mess and it's easy for her characterisation to split too far too soon and there's less in canon to anchor with.

(The Spectres as a whole are tricky, because you have to give each of them something to do, and also have them react in ways that fit each character, without that becoming a litany of reciting. God knows how Tamsyn Muir manages to do it so effortlessly in The Locked Tomb...)

💘It will surprise no one when I say angst XD My brain just seems to be wired for it (and I like to think I do it pretty well). But I maintain that angst makes the fluff worth it/better when it comes. So there!

🚦I've changed on this one. I used to think I was more of a 'bad' ending person, but perhaps years of reading Grim Dark stuff has worn me down. Or, writing has made me realise I'm more sentimental than I thought. Either way, I like plausible happily ever afters or ambiguity tinged with hope.

📚Ooo, that's a good question. I couldn't narrow down to just one, so I'll say that The Padawans (by someone you may not have heard of, called JediMasterBailey :P) and The Erosion of the Spirit by @425599167 are different, brilliant, takes on canon-compliant Barriss redemption arcs; Down to my Knees (Up en Pointe) by @cafffine is the best Inquisitor Barriss fic I've ever read, with Tomorrow, She'll see the Sky Again by @thevalaxy being the best post-Inquisitor Barriss fic I've read. Then there's Where I've Always Been and Coming Home to You by Gabby (Kirahsoka), which are amazing and made a sceptic of modern-world AUs and fantasy-world AUs like me rethink my scepticism.

Special shout-out goes to Pity and Reforging by @mylordshesacactus, which were the first Barrisoka fics I read and Jesus Christ, I think they fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and will haunt me until my dying day.

🎨Well, someone (not naming because I don't know if they want to be) very nicely asked if they could do fanart inspired by And if we Fell Together, which was about the happiest day of my life! I've seen some drafts and it looks incredible and I'm incredibly excited to see the finished version!

If there were to be a specific scene, I'd go for Ahsoka and Anakin's starfighter duel as I really like the imagery in that one! Oh, and also the first kiss!

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