#one of those you're-wrong-and-stupid-and-i'm-morally-correct people

[the-gateway-to-madness]

Y'all I just got my first hater! They were being mean over innocently intended fictional content on my innocently intended fictional art and headcanons blog! First time blocking someone over hate. Interesting.

#Sheesh. #i know wish is disliked but this was one of those won't-ever-be-happy haters just scrolling through and tearing down my stuff for the sake #disney wish #wish 2023 #one of those you're-wrong-and-stupid-and-i'm-morally-correct people #instant exhaustion thanks

[utilitycaster]

Re: villain stans, I really do think you're conflating two groups of people and I feel the need to point it out because the art of haterism deserves pinpoint precision. The thing is that I would consider myself, broadly speaking, a villain stan and I also can't stand the people you're complaining about in that post because I think they've missed the point entirely. They've ruined the entire villain-loving ecosystem. I can't even facetiously say "they've never done anything wrong, ever, in their entire life" about characters that may as well be called Murders McWarCrimes, and whose death or comeuppance I am eagerly awaiting alongside everyone else in the fandom, because some of these idiots actually mean it when they say things like that -- and usually about some of the blandest, most disappointing villains I've seen in a long time. It's like passionately defending the storytelling equivalent of a slightly offensive shade of beige.

Look, some of us see the "time to boo and hiss" signs the narrative is putting up, but I'm not looking to experience every story like it's a children's pantomime. Maybe sometimes I want a wrestling match instead. I know the heel is going to lose. That's their job. It's what they're for. But if imagining that they might win is outside the realm of possibility... well, it's probably not a very good story. The stakes are not compelling. There's a reason that I would describe, say, c1 Briarwoods as delicious and c3 Delilah as overstaying her welcome. A good antagonist is a vital part of the story ecosystem and I enjoy seeing that role played well.

But I don't get to relish in characters being terrible people who do terrible things anymore, because now villain fandom is always overrun by people who read one Wikipedia article on moral relativism and want to have debates about what if Murder McWarCrimes is good actually? No! No, they are not! And if they were, that would be stupid and boring!

And so I reach across the metaphorical aisle to you that we may share in one of the hater's greatest delights: the knowledge that no one likes those idiots, and everyone wishes they would just shut up, even the people they think are on their side.

Hey anon,

I will admit usually when I get a long ask telling me I am conflating things I roll my eyes and wait for someone to say "i am feeling uncomfortable when we are not about me" but, the truth is, I very much was, and you are correct to the point that I think we are fully in agreement.

To be clear: I am pro people enjoying themselves in, as you say, the wrestling fan enjoying the heel way! I agree - a good story needs a villain who feels like a genuine threat. I can appreciate a villain for what they are and enjoy them very much as a character! I am personally unlikely in most cases to root for them but people who look at the story, analyze it, and say "this will be a fun guy to care about, even though I know the victory's probably going to the heroes, and I will be normal and not terribly resentful" are entirely valid and my post is not about them (except to say carry on as you were). It sounds like you're in this latter category and so: carry on as you were, you guys are great.

But I am definitely conflating two flavors of annoying villain stan:

the first is, as you very eloquently put it, the Person Who Read One Wikipedia Article About Moral Relativism and ooooooh what if Mr. Murder McWarcrimes was sufficiently sad about bad things in his life such that the murder and war crimes are correct actually.

The second is the person who does understand that they are looking at a villain who is a bad person but seems actively confused that like, a largely hopeful or heroic narrative will probably not end with Mr. Murder McWarcrimes stabbing everyone to death and then evil laughing against a red lightning-filled sky and seems mad that people are like "actually I like Kit the Heroic Hero". Actual Play D&D is not a place where you'll find these people because a TPK is technically possible regardless of the existing themes! But like...for example, I have to imagine theatergoers in 1983 who weren't idiots did not walk into Return of the Jedi like "oh man I think Darth Vader's gonna win the whole thing and he'll blow up everyone and institute more Space Fascism over the nuked out husk of Endor." Like, as you say, the villain needs to have some bite to be worth my time, but deep in my heart, there are stories where I know that victory is assured by the nature of the plot and it's much more about how it will be assured and what sacrifices will be made, and so it's weird when someone seems to be existing in a denial that that's the story and is like NO Mr. Murder McWarCrimes is NOT going to get a comeuppance and everyone is going to DIE at his hand.

#answered #Anonymous #anyway ty anon #i did have to kill one of my darlings (dunking again on otohan's lack of personality) in my response here but. needs must

[thepurplewombat]

you're mad that people write jgy... doing shit he canonically did? you guys are fucking nuts.

I'm going to assume that you are referring to this ask. If I'm wrong and you're referring to something else, please let me know so that I can make a more sensible rebuttal.

So the first possibility is that you were referring to my annoyance about the perennial crop of dumpster mushrooms people keep coming up with with regards to Jin Guangyao and Mo Xuanyu. It always amazes me that the purity police are so determined that their faves must be perfect that they completely strip them of any agency. Mo Xuanyu can't be both a cool character and a fucked-up little dude who harassed his brother, he has to be a perpetual victim, forever suffering until one day he just snaps.

Incase you were wondering, summoning Satan to murder your relatives is not, in fact, healthy behaviour. It's fucked up! Yes, even if they're awful! And it is in fact one of many fucked-up things MXY did, one of which was harass his half-brother.

Anyway, it pisses me off that people try to make the whole 'kicked out of JLT' thing somehow JGY's fault because, even aside from what I mentioned in the original post about the wounds and such, it takes one of the very few pieces of information we know about Mo Xuanyu from his own pen, and removes his agency in the situation completely. And that's not even going into how mind-bogglingly stupid it would have been for JGY to set up a plot that even touches on incest, considering...*waves at the whole Qin Su situation*.

It's okay to like Mo Xuanyu even though he's not a paragon of moral purity. This is MDZS, there are no paragons here.

The other possibility is that you're referring to my distaste for murderYao in AUs. To which I say...well, show me the pressures. Show me the forces that caused Jin Guangyao, alone of the entire cast, to still have comitted his canonical crimes. If Wei Wuxian isn't making anyone cannibalize themselves and Nie Mingjue isn't constantly on the ragged edge of sanity, one wrong word away from a murderous rampage, why is Jin Guangyao still somehow a murderer? If Wei Wuxian gets to be a Manic Pixie Dream Necromancer and Nie Mingjue gets to be, idk, a professional bunny cuddler, why doesn't Jin Guangyao get to be a wedding planner of awesome and terrifying efficiency or something?

So those are the two things from that post that I thought might have upset you, Nonny. If I guessed wrong which post you're talking about, or guessed wrong which things you're talking about, feel free to either send me another ask clarifying - a link or even just the first line of the post would be helpful - or you're always welcome to come off anon and reblog with your additions and corrections.

Fly safe o7

#Wombat answers asks #Anonymous #jin guangyao #mo xuanyu #Wei Wuxian #Nie Mingjue #I'm still not sure I'm engaging with the right post? #Nonnie won't you please come off anon and correct me

[the-bloody-sadist]

In my twitter I like to post fanarts and also give fic recs for my fav non canon mlm ships. And somehow someone tweet me this :

"I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

I was confused af.... Do you think I should reply or just keep silent ?

Thanks for sharing your fanfics and fanarts. Your writing style and art style is not what I usually love at first sight. But wow your arts are beautiful and your writings are amazing (especially on how you wrote the characters, none of them are ooc). And your answers to same anon asks on fandom and shippings, WOW. Some of them are what I often feels but I just can't voice them....

I also love your fics recs, some I don't even know yet....

NEVER. RESPOND. TO THOSE KINDS OF COMMENTS. NEVER. I'M HAPPY YOU'RE AKSING FOR MY ADVICE SO I CAN TELL YOU THAT!! If you're a creator, especially in the BL space nowadays, you're going to hear from these shitheads at some point or another. Their arguments mean NOTHING. They are irrational and ridiculous and will change their logic the moment you interact with them, so no matter how well you present your opposing argument, they'll find some other way to cause trouble. I REPEAT: YOU CANNOT WIN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Plus, there's no need to, because the levelheaded people already agree with you and that's what matters.

Also they have no idea what they're talking about and don't even believe what they're saying, much less follow that logic for their own entertainment choices. They're hypocrites. They'll say that to feel like a social justice warrior and then turn right back to the fanfic about battle shounen boys that they felt guilty about reading. They're projecting at best, moral grandstanding for their friends' approval at worst.

Whenever I see people like this, I snicker with my friends about it, make sure my view of the comment is correct by discussing opinions with them, and then block the person so they don't have to see my work anymore (since they can't make the decision for themselves!). It's a strategy that works wonders and makes sure I deal with the least hate possible in my day-to-day posting experience. And it builds me up with the right audience who actually loves me and my work!

Thank you for being one of those people and for looking up to me for answers, I'm deeply flattered! If given the chance, I will always try to be the voice for anyone who needs it, so you can link to my posts and ramblings when someone says something stupid and have me explain why you think the way you do (and why it's NOT WRONG AT ALL).

Much love! I hope you enjoy those fic recs!!

#sadist’s answered asks #YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE LATELY #PRAISING ME FOR RAMBLING AND SHIT #I'M ALL FLUSTERED ABOUT IT

[22degreehalo]

Okay so just to be clear I am making this post in full comprehension that discourse culture on this website can be Awful and that people very often just kinda write posts here without intending them to be the first and last word on their ideology because that is actually an incredibly weird thing to assume

BUT

I'm gonna be honest. Some decent proportion of the time when people complain about people on this site 'missing the point' ... they're not. They probably get the point perfectly well, and may even entirely agree with it. What they take issue with is the argument used.

Like. Yes, sure, the point of your post was to express solidarity between lesbians and bi women. That's great! That is a good thing to express!!! But if the way you express it happens to be (as I've seen a depressingly high number of times) kind of incredibly shitty to aspecs... I kinda wanna say something!!

That doesn't mean the underlying post is bad! It doesn't mean you're a terrible awful no-good Social Justice Failure! But if you could phrase that post in such a way that is it NOT incredibly shitty to aspecs, that would be really great actually!!!!!

I know it's a thing here to act like ~lack of reading comprehension~ is some kind of like, deliberate choice and moral sin? Emblematic of being a bad and sheltered (read: bad) person at heart? And I kinda. Hate all that, actually, lol.

But it makes all those posts like 'omg why is everyone responding to this post missing the point!!!' seem like they're entirely the reasonable stance and fully in the right 100% of the time when. They're (less than 0% of the time) not.

And if I wanna be REALLY bold (and probably stupid): it almost feels like an extension of that whole 'social justice as a list of correct things to do' thought process, sometimes. Like if you were expressing a Good Idea, your post naturally HAS to be a good one, no matter how unreasonably argued or kinda shitty to other persons. As though the process by which you reach a conclusion doesn't matter at all, so long as the underlying point is 'good'.

Now. Are these all very fearless words from somebody who can't bear to have earnest discussions about their own beliefs because such back and forth conversations fill me with an existential dread I have no way of dealing with? Yes. But ALSO, I am bad and wrong all the time, soooo really that all shouldn't take away from the possibility of all of the above being possibly true I think!!!

#my thoughts

[edoro]

Obviously I don't think art needs to Help People to be justified in existing, however your fics have helped me immensely in naming and processing my trauma, specifically because of how explicit they are! I would not have realized the things I needed to realize if you faded to black or cut away for those scenes! Your work is important to me and I'm glad you make it the way you do, and I just wanted to say that.

thank you! i appreciate hearing it!

and yeah honestly that is one reason i write it - i hear those sorts of comments a lot, and while i'm sorry so many people have gone though similar things, i'm glad that my fic can help people realize and process what they've been through. being able to put a name on it and understand it as abusive and see the feelings you had reflected is really important.

it's just such a frustrating viewpoint to say the ONLY way to depict the topic in fiction is from the standpoint of passing a moral judgment and teaching some kind of lesson, and that if you just portray or explore it then you're Doing Something Wrong...

like you don't have to be traumatized to like that kind of stuff but frankly i care more about the fact that it DOES end up hurting traumatized people the most by trying to restrict what sorts of types of expression they have available to them and subject them to so much scrutiny. people handle stuff different ways and benefit from different types of treatment of the subject matter, so trying to act like there's only One Correct Way To Do It just sucks for everyone.

it's stupid and restrictive and only ends up hurting survivors who are just minding their own business trying to process and express themselves and find a sense of catharsis.

#asks

[piningpercussionist]

*Another letter...* it's, well, me again. 'Crush Guy' and... thanks for accepting my apology, honestly, the fact that you *don't,* like, hate my guts or something is a miracle. seriously. truth be told, I was kind of scared when I first started sending these letters... I mean... up until i sent that first letter. I had never, well... confessed, to, uh. anyone, before. it took me a lot of courage. to uhh... get all of that written and the stuff made, and... at times i wondered if i was going overboard. i almost chickened out... but my appreciation for you kept me going even though i dreaded the thought of you... i dunno, blowing up at me or hating me or not liking me in that way ( the last of which ended up happening and is totally fine! i respect that!! even if i am, in fact, bummed and more than a bit lovesick about it.) but... at least 2/3 of those things didn't go terribly wrong! so, that's good. and... I think writing these letters has... sort of made me a little bit less timid than i used to be, and a little more confident than i was before. so, thanks for that, i suppose. and... another thing. i'd like you to know that thinking of you brings me joy and that i make a lot of choices in my personal life based on what *you* would think is morally the correct idea. quite frankly, i'm just glad that you exist at all. P. S. if i ever go overboard in these letters. let me know. I'm not particularly adept at determining what to and not to say, at times. people call me eccentric. Sincerely, Crush Guy

Heh, yeah. Couldn't come up with anything better, glad you don't seem to mind it. And maybe I was just struck with some sudden, inexplicable generosity?

Being serious though, yeah, I can see how something like this could be difficult. I sure as hell couldn't do it; I seem to be the "dig your graves in person" type... it all worked out, though.

Say, did you level up from it at all? Even if I don't feel the same, this seems like the kind of thing that would do that for you- or at least give some experience.

Anyway, I'm flattered to have brought you so much joy, even if I am just sitting here being a bitch about seventy percent of the time- and I'm being generous with myself, there. Insanely flattered, really. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about the last bit there, though? Like, doing what I think would be moral... I mean, I think more people should hold my standards, generally, but what about your standards, for these things? Is the gap there negligible, or does that... strain you, at all?

I guess what I'm saying is that you should probably be... ugh I just realized how stupid I'm about to sound, hang on. Give me a moment.

*Kim pinches the bridge of her nose with a tight frown, eyes narrowed. She takes a breath, then releases it and drops her hand, still frowning but more slightly.*

Be true to yourself, or something. Unless being true to yourself means being a shitty evil person, I guess. Bleh. Gross. Now pretend I never said that beyond internalizing it now.

But, really. I'm... I think I'm actually kind of touched by that. Thank you. Glad someone out there in this shitshow of a world thinks my standards are worth following. Maybe there are decent people.

And yeah, I'll let you know if you're pushing your luck. Reenter my threats from before, etcetera, etcetera.

*Kim waves her hand at the camera dismissively, turning her head to look away- there's still a slight smile that can be caught, though, as she does.*

I'm not always going to know how to reply to these, guy, but if you keep sending, I'll keep reading. That's a promise now, I suppose.

Until your next one, stay well.

#(ooc: if this reads as off at all I endorse the idea that Kim was smoking before she noticed the letter. so smoke can be seen just kinda +) #(+ barely wisping in from off screen. feel free to not imagine that also) #(ooc: she's not actively smoking while answering the ask though. she hasn't gotten any asks that would make her do that... yet.... I +) #(+ dont think at least lol. drink definitely but not smoke.) #pine.txt #asks #anon #rp #kim pine #sp comic #spvtwtg #spto #spvtw #Crush Guy

[the-firebird69]

There are several things wrong with what they're doing down here firstly they're not mathematically correct second they're framing people to do things they don't know are wrong they just think of helpful to them. I've been caught 30 times and don't get so much as a slap on the wrist. What they're doing some people is horrendous they're disgusting pigs and admit it.

Yesterday was a tragedy we didn't want to see them go I have a need for a parallel but they're wise asses jerks cackling howling little assholes we need that I'm trying to concentrate on studying I don't get a friend up to speed. Right now you're sitting there harassing him because he loses. You have a good act going on and you're ruining it or allowing it to be ruined for nonsense

You have a ship above it is destroying you mentally and physically and morally and soon maybe completely and it's attracted the empire you know all going to face Court martials for your lousy invite which doesn't prove anything except that you're dumb enough to do it and weak enough. Ken Bill me and Chris were boged out and made us feel sick. We tried to explain it my two got in the line and said a little mac daddy said the right thing you said your my boys too and you're divided and we're going down because of it

All my stuff back and people back the place is crowded over there with idiots. Fighting is broken out over territory and is very heavy. Trump will soon come to the aid of Europeans ridiculous others too of your own stupid cadre and shortly this pseudo empire. Then in mere seconds you'll turn around all thinking you have a chance including clothes and face the opposition.

I'm here to say is pitiful. There's no trick to it for nuance or much of a plan same with your Islands crap. Trying to get through the day with you here is impossible and it's going to change soon. Your friend announced he's going to infiltrate United Kingdom and attracted the attention that needed now that repelling these things they thought so it's true is they're repelling opposing groups and some of the things come out of the people after they're dead large numbers of them are piling out. Who wants to grab them use others hit people like Trump and take their hardware. They said backwards the pseudo empire was taking hardware from there they lost a bunch decided to grab Stan and he took it back not the other way around

. I'm sick to death of the treatment you're a bunch of wankers you don't know your ass from your elbow and your reactionary then we're inventors too and we hate you idiots. You're the morning to cut people around to try and beat your competition when your own idiots start attacking you because of your method. In this case you're causing squabbling it'll set up a fight will occur when you're dead. Good.

We lost our friends yesterday we don't care if they're your friends or not. But most warlocks say they weren't they're lying but they're mean and people will attack you for being mean like I am Big Joe Chris ken Mac Dee the empire the foreigners and many many more your attitude is unreasonable bja you and yours are reckless very greedy you're obscene but the worst part the very worst, that do mean it and you're like incompetent on purpose which is worse than what you were before is your incompetent you don't have a leg to stand on because what you're doing is so rude over it you can't do anything cover it cuz no one can remember so you have to see it so people are going to beat the s*** out of you and kill you I really you should die a pitiful death cuz you are pitiful you've exposed us for the last time we're going to help run the Star wars thing and get rid of you schmucks including those you've ruined.

Preston

I like to add to it but I won't it's been wanting to say this for years put a little out here and there but this is important the people who are rational should read this and understand that these people are stupid you keep talking to them like they know stuff and they don't their brains in there doesn't mean anything it doesn't use information that's not there they can't remember anything that you think they can it's a nightmare okay cuz you have their frontal lobe they think they're smart and you think they're smart and they're not they're adults and BJ did the research that's why you did it so he could get away with something looks pretty slick and the whole thing slides right into the empire and they haven't picked up on it yet and they're slow and stupid I'm kind of glad it's happening but I don't think we'll make it through it because this kid bja is such a jerk and he's dangerous and violent and gross. Already you put my coworker in the stupid museum and he's healing and need it for years we're complaining and you think you get stuff now you're going to get Pamela you're going to get a pummeling and you're going to get dead

Joe m

You going to Star wars bja does Anakin and what you're doing is rebellious of course someone had to do it to stop Max from getting the people and the computers and you've been made to fight each other for millennia straighten that overnight out is probably not going to happen. All I can say is you have to look at things from a realistic point of view if you march around here blabbing at me harassing me bothering me like this morning your people will get arrested like half of them are everyday until there aren't any and you have some real delusions about what you are and what you've got and what you've achieved you crammed a bunch of people on an island with a few nuclear bombs are gone you have a whole bunch of tin soldiers above you for spaceships you have a force that is severely reduced unbeknownst to you apparently and what you're looking at is power in your realm is just a way for you to get negative attention I don't see why holding people prisoner they might be useful or might not be makes a damn difference you might not get out the information out of him it might be impossible to it might be that he and his brain have to march in there and the only way to get it is for he and his brain to go in there in his body the way it was if it's off we should probably will be it will turn on so I'm not sure exactly what you think it is but that's what it is and the two big fellas can explain it they say they already did but not in these terms what I'd say is you're still doing the job and you're holding on to them for whatever they're worth the computer design is more important than ones that they put up there was the ones up there will be have to be destroyed sooner or later within a few days of finding them if not sooner but it's really the design and it's already and JC and Mary all of them have it and JC and Mary would have the most sophisticated advanced but to tell you the truth what you're holding on to is a pyrea and I can't say anything like people have me say that's completely disrespectful I will say that your attitude doesn't really match what you're doing but making fun of you for doing the job against the empire it's not really suitable for what's happening it might be for you because you keep bothering me and really badly you want to do heinous things to me and I have committed no crime except trying to help the rebellion.

Zues Hera

And we hear the reaction and it's really weird and your assholes and they want to say anything and the husband's right there with this a****** line I'll get back to you that's the kind of stuff he's saying that it's been programmed in the gifted people can't resist. And we're aware of it it's just frighteningly annoying and we might get hurt by you in the short run instead of the empire in the long run I had a little problem with loyalty and I figured out that the empire is going to do something no matter what and that's what he said and he said I'm out of here you too old for just going to sit there he's doing dangerous things it worked so you do take it back a little from PGA but not fully because he's trying to harm us we can't have it and he's a lunatic Matt calls him a madman and you're more or less is but that's what he did on purpose and made him into one and the whole society is rancid because of these Max proper that is. And we just see what he's saying some of your things are wrong and it's hard to say because you don't have power to do something else you're more or less on a suicide mission and it will heat up the world and they'll fight over it and you could leave after a set but really that's not what will happen so I guess we're saying it you and your friends are going to die trying we do commend you for that and respect you for it but we do not respect you for what you're doing to us and we cannot let you if you attack us we're going to attack you back just as he has been and he's been very successful at it and his stuff works and it makes you fight the empire and it makes others too I'm not taking anything back you're so sucky and mean and dark and evil and really a pig but when left alone you're nowhere near this bad but it's going to happen this way so before warned if you start harassing us we are going to get rid of you bja

Preston

Diddo

Zues yeah me too bja we're going to get rid of you and we already are and we have a lot and you don't seem to care so we continue Hera

We hit you a lot Tommy Allen we hate you a lot I said and we don't want you to bother us but now you're bothering us already right now so then to hit you even though you're doing something for the rebellion it's because you're threatening people and harassing and attacking and you spread it within and you can't stop and we hear you say it we're not going to give up our lives or any ground or any advantage to save your ass at all and once you're out of there more competent people will be in there to fight the max whereas you might just accidentally hand it over if you have all that empire hardware and you are actually right now

Thor Freya

I can't help that but I do see what you're saying people respect me for trying and I have my flaws and I can't overcome some of them and they're pretty rancid but we have attracted attention like you said it would so I went ahead with it it is crazy but it seemed like a good idea and I'm doing it and it is working to a degree but like Preston said it probably will only work at the end and I don't have the strength to leave although in the future it looks like I leave off and on

Bja

Olympus

[wearepaladin]

You know, that "argument" of whether humans are inherently good or bad is one that has featured on your blog a lot, and I gotta say, it's a really stupid argument. I mean, the people who say humans are inherently evil are obviously wrong. And the people who say humans are inherently good are also, equally wrong. Humans are not inherently predisposed to do good things, or bad things just by virtue of being human. A person's predisposition towards morality is shaped by the circumstances of their birth and life, and their actions and choices as pertaining to those circumstances. Just as blindly declaring that All Humans Are Bad is a thinly veiled attempt at absolving oneself of guilt and removing the impetus to improve, so too is mindlessly declaring that All Humans Are Good a pathetic attempt at saying " I could Never do anything bad, because I'm just a normal person!" It lays the groundwork for declaring that anyone who acts outside the established morality isn't actually human, and that's a road I'm sure you don't want to walk down. It's high time people accept that humanity's defining characteristic is CHOICE. Your choices are what defines the very patchwork of your soul, a person's choices are the only things that matter. And your choices aren't inherently bad, or good, just because you made them.

I shall indulge you briefly. This after all a blog about paladins, and I am here to reflect the paladin ideal by sharing paladin ideals and imagery, not get lost in nitpicking every potential flaw in the things I choose to reblog, for fear that I might do the world harm by running a paladin blog.

You're using sophistry to prove your point by trying to put me in the position of defending the notion that people are inherently good when it's more of a case of trying to encourage people to see the goodness in themselves and others. Believing the best in others is not stating it as a fact, but a hope. I encourage others believe in themselves and others to better be able to recognize goodness and the growth of virtue by reminding them of that choice.

Because you are correct, it is a choice, but our ability to make the choice to be good is what gives us the potential to be good and I feel that isn’t something that should be dismissed. Virtue Ethics, my personal philosophy on what makes us good, choosing again and again and growing our decency. There is room for nuance, for reasoning and need and growth and change, even conflict, and still conclude that goodness is thing to hope for and see everywhere. Beyond that, there's simple fact: humans thrive when we are good to one another. We are creatures of community, whatever our individual foibles, we achieve more, live more, thrive more when we do so together, encouraging each other.

In my case, I state what I believe to be good, and hope it prompts more of that in others. I encourage people to choose it also and trust that they're wise enough to understand the difference between believing and encouraging in goodness and somehow disregarding nuance and contemplation on how to achieve these things.

[windvexer]

Are some spirits inherently good, while others are inherently bad?

Nothing wrong with going to basics from time to time :)

This topic has been discussed to death so I'm only here to lay out a few things I believe in.

There is a difference between inherent good and evil, and human perceptions and projections. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. Just because we experience harm due to the action of a spirit does not mean the spirit is inherently bad or evil.

You can have a pissed off nature spirit trapped in your home that causes intense amount of destruction. So which one of you is evil - the ignorant captor, or the furious prisoner?

Neither of you are, and labeling all spirits that do things that make us uncomfortable or disadvantaged is silly.

I do believe some beings are inherently good, and others are inherently evil. Guanyin is an example of a being whom I believe is totally and completely good. Just as Guanyin works tirelessly to ease the suffering of all living beings, there may be beings out there who work tirelessly to bring suffering and to destroy the happiness of every living being.

I can have a negative reaction to a good spirit, but that doesn't mean it's an evil spirit or that everyone who has good encounters are delusional.

I can have an extremely positive and uplifting experience with a spirit often coded as evil, but that doesn't mean the spirit is actually good and just "misunderstood".

Even if some beings may be inherently good or evil, the vast majority of spirits aren't either of those things, and trying to use these terms for all spirit handicaps our understanding of them.

Far better terms to use are dangerous versus benevolent.

[Picture ID: A four quadrant graph with the labels "More Dangerous" to "Less Dangerous" on the X axis, and the labels "More Benevolent" to "Less Benevolent" on the Y axis.]

Here, benevolence means an inclination or desire to be helpful, loving, or take morally correct actions.

Dangerous means how likely you are to get kneecapped because of your own mistakes, ignorance, or misunderstandings.

Some spirits can be extremely dangerous to work with, and will really mess you up if you approach them like a stupid idiot. But that doesn't mean they're evil. Aconite isn't an evil plant, but it's still going to kill you if you eat it.

Some spirits can be highly malicious, straight up bad-doers, but it doesn't necessarily mean they have the power or ability to be dangerous. The world is full of little shithead imps who have the proclivity to cause fear and feed on anxiety, but they're not that hard to get rid of and they're not dangerous beyond causing fear.

When we talk about categories of spirits, such as spirit guides and ancestors, they are often considered to be somewhere in the top right quadrant where "more benevolent" and "less dangerous" intersect.

However, this does not mean that your ancestors cannot rally around you in order to cause harm to your enemies, or that your spirit guide will never get royally pissed off and bite you if you treat it with cruelty or disrespect.

If your personal relationship with the spirits isn't a part of this equation, you're doing it wrong.

There are people out there in the world who think I'm 100% evil. Like, I'm the example they use when they talk about abusive, toxic witches corrupting and polluting the community.

There are other people who think I'm the bee's knees and it's so wonderful that I'm around making all these contributions.

Spirits and gods are like this too. To some people they are wonderful, benevolent, and kind. To others they are harsh, uncaring, and cruel. The point is not to try and label each entity in an absolute way.

Rather, goodness and badness of spirits is almost always relative to you. Outside of inherently good/evil spirits, we're back to square one: what's normal to the spider is chaos to the fly. Spirits that are loving, safe, and wonderful for one person might not be for you, and vice-versa.

So the really frustrating part is, while people can point towards categories and groups of spirits and say "these guys are pretty chill, why not start there?" nobody is going to be able to predict your personal experience and guarantee those spirits will be good for you.

There are good and bad spirits. Most of them are neither. What matters most is if they're good or bad for you, and while there are trends, it's something you ultimately always have to figure out for yourself.

#spirits

[just-antithings]

Reasons I hate the BNHA fandom (disclaimer: I haven't interacted with fandom in a while, because I prefer to enjoy things rather than feel spiteful all the time, so I don't know if this still happens):

1. Hating Endeavor and Mineta was, like, a requirement to prove you're a decent person, which made me incredibly salty towards people who hated Endeavor when he started to realize that he fucked up in later manga chapters (i'm a sucker for parents realizing they weren't they were wrong. Wish that happened in reality more often).

1.1. There was this trend of headcanonning Mineta and Endeavor as the only cishets on the show, because they're the Bad Ones. Imagine how this feels when you're a cishet person reading these types of posts. (was it satire? was it a joke? I dunno. It didn't say anywhere on the posts.)

2. I found myself hating Dabi purely out of spite because somehow Enji being an abusive parent was worse the Dabi killing innocent people. (Like, I didn't care at first because they're both fictional, but that kind of logic angered me so much I abandoned logic and became fueled only by spite. Not very good for health.)

3. BNHA is probably the first big fandom I've ever interacted with, so I was not ready to interact with anti's bullshit on such a large scale.

4. "I stg if Horikoshi redeems Tomura I'm- just give him the ending he deserves and kill him!" because we all know that 'Redemption' is Bad Writing, but "Killing A Character Because They're Bad" a timeless masterpiece. (I mean, any trope could be good or bad, but painting them like one of them is obviously the only correct way to do things is a bit stupid.)

5. Ship wars. I didn't get too involved with those because I had an idea of what they were like based on other people's accounts (and because when I didn't like a ship, I blacklisted its tag like a sane person). Still disheartening to hear about because they're just so dumb.

Like, this was my first time being part of a big fandom for an ongoing show and I just. Ended up hating the existence of people. I can't watch BNHA without eventually feeling bad about my feelings on certain characters (I saw my parents in Endeavor and I was so, so happy when his character started changing for the better. And Mineta is just...he's just there to be The Pervert, right? There is no character, so I don't really hate him. I just don't like him either. I don't care for Mineta, basically.)

Now every time I think of a plot for a fic involving the characters and my OCs I just...feel bad. I feel like I can't enjoy the show like I did before, even after I removed myself from fandom completely. Like, I didn't care if other people hated Endeavor for whatever reason; I just hated how apparently I was a bad person because I felt differently about him.

I'm sorry I talk about Endeavor a lot. Not only do I see my parents in him, but also myself if I'm not careful. This is how fiction affects reality for me; when I project on other characters, I see faults in myself, and I acknowledge them, when it could have been difficult for me to do so without this particular character that resonated with me so much. Same with Bakugo; I saw my short-tempered attitude in him and boy oh boy it's not a good look, is it? I can tell you my attitude towards my siblings has improved since I started watching the show in 2017.

Some people might think it's stupid to need a show to realize that I'm doing something wrong, but I don't really care. At least fictional characters can't tell me that I'm irredeemable.

In a nutshell: the BNHA fandom was the first time I witnessed morality being brought into fiction on a large scale, and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. I got out of that experience with bad feelings about myself and an immense hatred toward people.

(I'm sorry this got so long. If you think someone could benefit from reading this, post it. Otherwise, feel free to delete it. I'm not brave enough to post this on my personal blog.)

yeah the bnha fandom is awful

#mod erin #just anti things #ask #abuse mention

[evanescent-art]

❝ Dabi Todoroki :: Short Story :: If I fall ❞

  。＼｜／。

Synopsis :: Dabi may have been caught, but the interrogation couldn't break him more than his childhood already had.

。／｜＼。

Okay, you got me. I'm crazy. But listen here - The fact that I acknowledge it in an intellectual way makes me just as sane as everyone else. It's not like I do the shit that I do for no reason. In the beginning, I had a guilty conscience. I questioned constantly if I was doing the right thing. Always had a nagging voice in the back of my head that told me that I would regret it one day. This voice happened to remind me that once I go, I can't turn back. It took awhile, but believe me when I tell you, that voice is long gone.

Now, I feel nothing.

Except, of course, these damned handcuffs that felt likey they were cutting into the flesh of my wrists. Using my quirk was futile. With these cuffs, there was a tingling sensation throughout my body. That feeling you get when your hands or feet are on pins and needles. Even If I wanted to, I wasn't stupid enough to try and fight my way out of this interrogation room with a building full of hero-wannabes.

The door behind me opens and closes. I suck in an annoyed breath and prepare for the obvious.

"You go by Dabi, right?" a man slid into the seat on the opposite side of me, gently sliding the folders on the table in front of him.

"Aren't you observant," I drawl, feigning amusement in my tone. I look this man dead in his dark eyes. He doesn't seem to be intimidated, but I wanted him to know that neither was I.

He cleared his throat, finding my sarcasm a good enough answer. I raise an eyebrow. I can't stand half-assed people.

He continues despite my clear disinterest, "my name is Koriko Ho-"

I really don't care.

"-and I'm going to ask you some questions," he glances down at the paper. "For starters, Is Dabi your real name?"

I chuckle slowly.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" This time I actually am amused. They seriously can't expect me to just hand over my identity so easily. I almost find it insulting. Only an idiot would do that, especially in my damned-to-all-hell case. Yet, the idea of my father's name being all over the news for his villain-son appealed to me a little. The humiliation it would undoubtedly give him was tempting, truly.

"We'll find out one way or another," his voice sounded as though it was forcing to stay calm. His slight discontent brings me further satisfaction. I allow the corner of my lips to curl into a small smirk. Koriko takes a small breath.

"You know what, how about we not beat around the bush, yeah?" Koriko says. Now he's speaking my language. "You were turned in by pro-heroes after a fight in an abandoned building downtown. You were left behind by your colleague, am I correct?"

Left behind isn't the term I would use. I did this willingly. I may be a damaged villain, but the one's that were there for me I have their back. I'm loyal. It was a classic 'wrong place, wrong time' sort of deal. I needed to gather just enough time to let Toga get away. If staying behind to face a fight alone to allow someone like a sister to me escape while she was recovering from her own wounds, so be it. It's worth it.

"I'm not telling you a damn thing. Save your energy for someone more useful to you," I advise. I lean back in my chair, keeping my eyes trained on him.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, takes a deep breath, and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"I tried to do this the moral way, you know," he tells me, as if I knew what the hell that meant. Until he adds, "without my quirk."

"Your quirk?"

"Feeling reading. I try not to do it as often as possible," Koriko pursed his lips and looked me up and down, no doubt noting my momentary surprise. "After all, people like to keep their feelings to themselves. Yet, you are a curious case."

So I've been told many times. I stay silent.

"You're in a lot of pain," he continues. His eyes go over my excessive burns for a moment. "Physically and emotionally. Mostly emotionally."

"I don't need you as my damn therapist," I scoff.

"I sense depression. I sense something hollow as well. Anger." Koriko looks as though he wishes he could stop, but doesn't. I begin to get a little uneasy, because I happen to be a personal person that takes a great offense to someone violating my mind, "Yet, you have it all bottled up, huh?"

"Stop."

"You need help. You want help."

"No, I don't. I'll deal with shit on my own like I always had," despite my deadpanned tone, it was obvious to this man that he was striking some nerve. The nerve that I have of violating my thoughts. My feelings. The only thing I was able to keep to myself.

Koriko smiles a bit.

"That's where the hollow feeling comes from, isn't it?" He says to me . It seemed that the more irritated I got, the more intrigued he became. I liked it better when he was the one getting angry. Then again now that I think about it, it probably wasn't anger. More like stain from trying not to use his quirk. I suddenly felt like the little bit of power I had left had been taken away.

What's the point?

I was going to jail. Most likely for a long time. It wasn't like I could save myself. The realization that I was only stalling the inevitable hit me hard. Suddenly, all I wanted was to get out of this room. Away from this man. I grew tired.

"Touya Todoroki," I tell him. The name sounded disgusting coming off the tongue. I look away from him to avoid the shock on his expression.

"Now that explains it," Koriko nodded slowly, stopped himself to think for a moment, then added. "I heard things, you know. That you were the one that drove your own mother crazy, not your little brother. Just rumors, of course."

I wanted to hurt him.

My expression shifts to a rage that I try and breathe deeply to contain it better. An image of that pathetic woman comes to my mind. She did nothing. Nobody ever did anything. She sat by and let me hurt. Let her children hurt. Oh, I never blamed my siblings. They were victims to that ass just as much as I was. I can only Imagine how it's been since I've been gone. I suppress the urge to envision it myself.

Shoto looked like me, didn't he?

It hurt because this man was most likely right. And I hated it.

"I'd hate to see the look on Endeavor's face when he sees you like this," Koriko was starting to sound like a demon, nagging at my deepest ticks. It was like he was made to do this. I hated him. I hated everyone.

"I don't give a damn what he thinks anymore," I seethe. If I could slam my hands on the table I would have. "Why do you insist on being so invasive?"

"Because I happen to think that you are far too young and damaged to be sitting in front of me!" Koriko raised his voice, standing up with his papers. He looks strained now.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

He stops and turns to me, unsure of what to say at first.

"Because your feelings are far too intense for me to take right now. It's making my head hurt."

I was left to do nothing but let those words sink in.

#Spotify #my hero academia #my hero academy spoilers #boku no academia #dabi headcanons #Dabi #touya todoroki #touya theory #Shoto Todoroki #endeavor #enji todoroki #mha enji #Quirk #midoriya izuku #fuyumi todoroki #MHA #BNHA #bakugou katsuki #bakusqaud #mina ashido #ejiro kirishima #fanfiction #writing #author #imagine dragons #Music #words #writing blr #writing blog #Anime

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Choked In Confusion

Tw: Self Harm Mention, Heavy Angst, Self Loathing. Hurt/Comfort

This was the first-ever sander sides fanfic I ever wrote.

Roman was a mess, he had bruises all over his arm from hitting himself and red eyes showing that he'd been crying for a while. The creative side sat on his desk, he knew he had to take off his mask and write his feelings down. Patton had broken his heart he didn't know what the moral side wanted from him anymore. Logan always hid his feelings too. So he decided to pull off his mask in a more creative way. A monologue, he knew that would suit him a least he thought it would.

Roman conjured his feather pen and began writing his emotions. He wrote like he was running out of time. All the emotions came, he knew the others would scold him for feeling that way but he didn't care anymore there was no point in being what people wanted him to be. Anger, Regret, Sadness, Confusion and Insecure.  A knock broke him from reality, he knew it was Patton, probably wanting to scold him for laughing at Janus's name. He still kept his mask off as he knew it was time to give Patton and the others the wake-up call they needed. The King was everything they loved but then they split him and tried to create a creativity without flaws.

"Hey Kiddo, it's me, Patton can I come in?"

"Fine but not for long?!"

"Kiddo we-"

"I'm fine I have ways of getting my emotions, I honestly can't your first instinct is to come crawling back to me when you and I ignored every word Logan had to say."

"What doe-"

"He obviously feels unwanted and not listened to. Especially since he made his facts optionally. I mean I stood there and let you skip him. Me I'm probably the one out of all of us who drove him to hide and lie about his feelings."

"That's not we-"

"Right, you totally do, ever since the others started to desire being listened to you shut me and Logan out."

"That's not tru-"

"It is Thomas has the right to listen to all of us and not shun us. Go see Logan, please. Janus can apologize-"

"Roman you shouldn't have made fun of his name."

"I know! I'm an idiot I hate myself and screw up, when I make a mistake it's spat in my face but when you guys act rude nobody calls you out on your behaviour."

"Roman, kiddo aren't you over-"

"Overreacting! Patton, I have the write to express how I really feel and not have it brushed off, same for Logan."

"Alright, I'll go see Logan. I'll leave these cookies for you here but please understand we do love-"

Roman felt bad for rudely slamming the door in Patton's face but he didn't deserve comfort he just wanted to scream till he couldn't speak and then put on his crumbling mask as if everything was ok again. He thought by sending Patton to Logan he'd be doing something right for once. Roman nibbled one of the cookies and got back to writing his monologue.

After a few more minutes of writing down his feelings, Roman cleared his throat. This certainly was going to be a heartbreaking performance, deep down however he just wished someone would watch him and acknowledge his mental health struggles.

Lost I feel lost, from the day I was born I have felt nothing but lost. I feel like a statue that has to be perfect otherwise they're just filthy and an old rusting relic never meant to be touched. I am strangled by vines of expectations. Apparently, I was created to be flawless but im more than just a figment, im- actually I don't think I really know who I am anymore at all. 

Anger!

My voice feels like a cold weapon wanting to lash out when everything feels too much and when everything gets other whelming. I fire away but I can't stop myself, I am a flame of passion desperate to not die out. Life feels like thunder I want to strike and harm someone to cope but it's wrong. Justice, I get karma but the others never get it whenever they insult people and act mean.

Regret!

I'm fighting the urge to cut my throat and slice it till I can no longer speak. I feel so vulnerable myself so of course, I'm stupid enough to mock someone else in a vulnerable moment. A name defines who are you and what you stand for. I feel like I should be nameless. I hate myself so illogically I project my feelings out to someone else via name-calling. Me, I try to get better but I only seem to get worse. If I could turn back time I would stay silent and bluntly accept the truth that the world isn't black and white. My only wish is to take all those cruel worse and project them onto myself.

Sadness and Betrayal!

I feel helpless like I should have never ever been creative. Am I really that pathetic that the storybook ended sadly? Am I a hero! No, I'm nobody's hero everyone I've ever cared about have been pushed away by stupid egotistical self. My darling brother isn't evil he's better than me! He deserves my seat at the table. Janus is correct I'm a piece of trash that can be replaced it's not like there's two creativity's after all. Nobody has ever been on my side.

Confusion!

When was the last time I had an idea that was actually helpful? Even Thomas's fans think I'm useless and annoying. Back in the courtroom, I was scolded by Virgil and Patton for siding with the bad guy, the snake. I wanted to understand De-Janus especially since the others pointed out that I never treated Virgil with kindness. But no I'm wrong for giving Janus a chance, have I ever been right? Patton always gets what he wants and giving up that call back felt like I was having my petals picked off.  Then he decides to do a one-eighty and tells me I'm wrong for being the selfless Prince. Also, im supposed to trust the snake after being told he manipulated me and used me to get what I wanted. I was wrong to label the others dark. The truth im the bad guy, not the one who's being used as a puppet. Grey, I've never liked the colour but it appears I must get use to it.

Insecure!

I am the fanciful side, the ego, the passion, the good creativity. They we're wrong I'm a mirror cracked. I never ever should have been crowned the Prince. I'm not royalty I'm an earthquake bringing destruction everywhere I go. 

Janus was right I should have been crowned the Duke! I'm rude, bratty and pathetic. My fist reels, desperate to punch every single mirror I come across. I am broken! Who am I?

I'm an idiot choking on the confusion I feel.

A loud applause made Roman flinch, his brother was sitting on his bed, full of tears. He never expected his brother to be here especially since Remus had been told he's just like his twin. Warm arms wrap around him pulling him into a tight hug. Roman did not expect this he really thought his brother hated him.

"Oh, Ro-Ro, fate time hasn't treated you kindly. Part of me wishes I didn't knock you out."

"You did right you gave Logan his time to shine."

"Ro, Janus was wrong and even if have to skin all of his scales off to make sure he apologizes to you. I'll do whatever it takes."

"Thanks, bro but that won't help, I honestly feel bad for you, now you're stuck with Orange and we know he isn't a nice side to hang out with."

"I don't care at least I'm not stuck with a bunch of losers who ignore every single time you try to say you need help. Janus is a jerk, heck they're all selfish jerks."

"Remus I know I was wrong for labelling you guys the dark sides and us the light sides. We're all flawed but it's just too hard to accept."

"You know what you need?"

"What?"

"I think you need a job where you're allowed to be yourself and not strangely by people's expectations.

Ever since they've wanted us to be black and white but we're not."

"Wait bro are you proposing that I take your place?!"

"Yes I'm proposing I take your job and you take mine. Join me I'm not gonna let them bruise my self-esteem and confidence as they have done yours. Join me, let's work together and show these sides that we will no longer be controlled by their words. So are you with me or are you gonna sit here and stay silent. All I know is that you shouldn't go speechless."

"Nice Disney reference and I accept Its about time I crumble my mask! Thank you, bro I'm glad someone loves me."

"You've always been my hero."

The twins held hands and a bright flash accrued. It was about time the brothers worked together and stick together. Nobody was ever gonna separate them again.

Tagged: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @romanangstismyfuel @sandersidesfics @sandersidesfanders @romanvirgil @roman-sanders-appreciation-blog @romanocheesy @princemesscharming @lowkey-logan @misconceivedcapricorn @pwinceyroman @royalprinceroman

#sander sides #roman sanders #ts roman #roman angst #roman sanders angst #sander sides au #sander sides fanfiction #fanfiction #ts remus #remus angst #remus sanders #creativitwins

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[galos-writing]

Ideological Disability // Arthur's Opinion! // (part 2)

Summary: What if Arthur found the courage to face Thomas Wayne in a very very cynical way? Maybe teasing Thomas's "cultural" side, that side that he shows with so much vanity? Maybe the citizens may be way more cultured than him.

Warnings: Curses, offensive content (probably)

Word count: 856

The Mayor couldn't understand. What that evidently shy, mentally ill, depressed, insignificant man wanted to say in that so secure and cynical way? Thomas's gaze was staring at random point of a wall, as his mind remembered every single word that that citizen said until that moment.

«Now,» Arthur resumed to speak, after a few seconds of silence that made Thomas questioning about what happened. «imagine that everything is happening, not with rules to deserve Heaven, but with rules to live better here on Earth.». Arthur's sweet and shy voice volume suddenly increased.

«Mr. Wayne, this is my condition: the ideals that support my ethics fell, but I can't live without mechanically respecting those ideals.». The third man was standing next to the Jesus's photo, he was silently listening to them, his arms crossed on his chest, his eyes following the Arthur's circle move around the Mayor. «Then I'm using a behaving code that this society doesn't consider as valid: I'm incapable to live in this society. But if I'm incapable to live, how do you technically define me? A...?» Arthur asked, letting Thomas end the sentence. But the third man joined the conversation, replying instead of the Mayor. «An invalid!» he exclaimed. Thomas looked the third man, with a confused gaze: «Invalid?».

«And if I'm an invalid, what do I deserve?» Arthur asked again, letting someone else finishing the sentence again.

«Pension!» the third man replied again, he was amused for that situation. «Pension!» the Mayor repeated raising his voice tone, then he immediately stood up and shook Arthur's hand again. Arthur put a satisfied smile on his face. «You understood, I'm glad!» The man smiled, shaking back Thomas's hand. «Congratulations!!».

«So you agree with me, Mr. Wayne-». Thomas's enthusiasm died a bit, making their smiles disappear. «No, I don't, I understand, but-». Arthur's hand was painfully tightening Thomas's one, while his gorgeous green eyes communicated a sense of threat for the Mayor. «I'm giving you the opportunity to open a gap in the legal system, there is a new handicap to put on record, the moral handicap, Mr. Wayne, you can be its author.»

«There's no 'moral handicap', you just believed in wrong ideals.» Thomas tried to stop Arthur, he was beginning to be nervous and agitated, he wanted to go away from that citizen. Arthur shook his head. «No, no, no, don't patronise me, I don't deserve this. It's a case, just a case, that my rules fell, not yours. Don't be a hog, Mr. Wayne.».

«Oh, yeah?».

«Yeah.».

«Why don't you go saying this kind of things to that kind of people?» Thomas asked, visibly irritated. «What people?» Arthur replied, keeping that threatening gaze. «People that- You're communist, aren't you?»

«Diehard communist!» the third man yelled, as he turned around the Jesus photo, revealing a Karl Marx photo behind it, then he laughed loudly.

Thomas laughed with him, but Arthur didn't like that, and started to get pissed off. «What are you saying? Shut up!» Arthur commanded, raising his voice tone and looking at the third man, then looking the Mayor again. «Mr. Wayne, I don't miss communism.» he said «I'm not stupid! I miss the communist dream!» Arthur yelled. Thomas began to fear him, and started to walk backwards.

«Every man deserves a dream!» Arthur began to shout, as he tightened an armchair fabric. «I've been deceived! I wanna be compensated!» His voice tone became lower, but it started to tremble. «For many years I've actually believed that a billion of chinese people were behaved, happy and smiley just because they were communist!» Arthur yelled again.

Then he stopped, he calmed and swallowed a knot that formed in his throat, annoyance left to give space to anguish. «T-Then I found out that they organized executions into squares. They took some 15-16 teens. They made those teens get down on their knees and shoot them in their head, just because they've stolen a bike or some rice. And people applauded.». The feared gaze of the Mayor became shocked, for what his ears were hearing. The shiny green eyes of that citizen became wet, but he managed to hold the tears, as a new sense of rage grew in his soul.

«I was communist because I was against the death penalty, Mr. Wayne. I've been deceived and I want to be compensated. I deserve it.». The Mayor was doing an effort facing Arthur's threatening gaze. «I-I know, but law doesn't treat your kind of case.» he took his coat and went to the door. «What am I supposed to write into the register? You're incapable to live because communism fell?!». Thomas's hand reached his car keys, but Arthur's one blocked it on the desk, his green eyes firmly stuck into the Mayor's ones. «Correct. I'm ill, Mr. Wayne, I have an illness form that the State must consider. I'm an ideological addict, and I'm in withdrawal. I'm able to do everything, Mr. Wayne, and I'll do it.». Arthur seemed to be got mad, and Thomas couldn't keep calm anymore. «W-What do you mean?» Thomas asked, trying not to panic.

#joker #joker2019 #joker 2019 #arthur fleck #arthur #fleck #imagine #scenario #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck scenario #parallel universe #communist #thomas wayne #ANGRY ARTHUR OMGGGG

[the-firebird69]

Yellen, Biden's not-so-secret weapon, sees clout diminished - POLITICO

In the pursuit of revenge which is mostly what the warlocks are about effective or not they try and do it cuz they think it'll work but they don't know they probably have records on you Biden because you keep going after their records and she's actually in the treasury and has access to all those records and these IRS her weapon of choice probability it's Trump in disguise

Zues Hera

Look at the other day in the correct the rain is huge and IRS and scam and some warlock and Trump's people and the roofing everybody off actually the ripping people off all over the place I want to do is so illegal to get against trouble I started grabbing his people I told him you can't do this and I listed off but not to do they said well how do I do this you do it surreptitiously what you're doing is just sitting there at work changing the numbers and I noticed that people are noticing them doing it and Mac came in the arrested a ton of them and really it's because they're harassing us with the IRS they're harassing me I told him to back off and he said no like a little kid I said you know those ramifications for your answer and for your method and he said so what you're going down out loud in the White House so I said get out you're fine he would not leave so today I'm going to fire him

Biden

I'm seeking recommends for you and your grandson for what you're doing to me

Trump

That's funny I'm suing the living s*** out of you for stealing money for me and harming my relatives in his relatives wrongful death suits and I'm bringing murder charges against you and mass murder and mass homicide and also genocide you're the one with these stupid skulls so you can say what you want but you're going to go down and you have to you're a huge lawbreaker and they're cheesy as your little brown and low level and stuff lacks all sorts of sophistication and you're tracking everybody down cuz never committed a small crime ever it's ridiculous what you doing following him around says stop that s*** you idiot you have a record of mile long as I whip it out 5 minutes later is arrested you people don't pay attention at all we have tons of information on you I'm going after you I'm going after a daily operation cuz you're a slob

Biden

So yeah after you buy this and your grandson however hopeless

Trump

he is I said shut up trying to read my line there's a warrant out on you here you come here you're going to prison and yesterday yeah they came after you they go after you everyday to arrest you and put you back in prison it's not exactly hopeless is that you c*** you don't see me going to prison you f****** f****

Zues Hera

So I see that I'm kind of getting beat up by you

Trump

yeah you're getting beat up by me I mean shut the f****** get the f*** out of my face here done I'm not going to sit here and have you arrested your f****** c*** inside your chop up your son and other crimes you're going to get chopped up I don't know why you commit suicide are you going to commit suicide shortly yes sit there in the mud We belong

Zues Hera

I can't believe how bad it is how stupid you are for assaulting me well verbally I'm so confident to having me and people just let me do it they say it's true I ignore the punishment and basically I'm getting killed doing it I don't care

Trump

You see we noticed that and that's a problem you guys need to be killed all day and all night until it stinks because you have absolutely no morals you have absolutely no will to stop sitting and to stop sinning on us you're ridiculous you need to be killed. Now I miss you with orders if you even cleared out of this neighborhood we can't do a damn thing with you around nobody can stop the shatteredome from being emptied and then this a****** saying that you're doing it and nobody can tell what the hell you're doing. This idiot Jim Carrey says he's been doing it taking over everything and he's such a moron nobody should believe it but people do now you two get into it because you think that he killed you but you killed yourself I feel sorry for him cuz you're such a freaking idiot but really killed him so he's coming after you probably has to kill yourself such a p****

Mac

God dammit I don't have any will to live in now this

Trump

Wait a minute you've got a good point I'm going to kill off your characters and fire your characters like Uncle Jerry he would have left me something

Zues Hera

We will look into this because it's something interesting to us if he dies you get something of his how does his group react I was trying to think of something who would you go after

Mac

well unfortunately they probably try and go after me but I really would like them up extremely well. Every one of his characters so the Nimrod himself would just keep doing it until he died completely it's not a bad idea we have to run it by I have to ride by my people that we that's funny and Hera says it's not funny is you sick and tired of this fat seeping idiotic loser plus one who lost your whole game staring in the face and saying stupid things she can't do I can't back up she's an insulin complete swine in this Trump was really a man what a huge a****** and we're taking it out on it just about all of you

Hera Zues

It is a case that that's what they do but it might be necessary to sit around not doing anything he'll probably end up killing him and taking the stuff but okay still if we got a character to pay up and she would start messing with social security and she get kicked out it's already like that so looking forward to doing something like this it's already like Garth can beat her down him down he's got a lot of support huge horns of actual black people coming in wailing that guy we have a way of mopping up too now the excuse for him to go to Miami he still has to go there it's a great idea Uncle Jerry died holy s*** I can't f****** believe it that f***** was so strong you're f****** backbone Jerry you tell her that's a Peter and Jerry you got to drink alcohol like he was Irish cuz he was like a mick. They're both laughing even though Peter is a retard... Is Brad and he hit him so he's going you're wrong and that kind of s*** tells Mike silent he was probably beat the s*** out of that guy paying back for Beaumont and Banning. But we let it go and it ruined us now I want revenge and he's the one with the stupid shatteredome so we have to continue to put him in the loop so it's a f****** wonderful Trump's going to pay it's actually kind of funny it's f****** good ass f****** retard crossdresser ruined us. It's going to make a saloon the bony finger and playing bja for it. We're going to go to town on them it was bja to die too have a nice character to die and he probably give him something in the will Jenna wants it it's motivation she says cuz when she gets up in the morning there's nothing there in her brain. Just snow like on TV.

Mac Daddy

He's actually feeling pretty good about that our grandson says reminds you old times waking up and seeing the snow on the TV haven't drank like eight beers he felt really happy for a second it's quiet his hammered I had a nice nap it says Artie was like that too because he never could get a nap and some time alone from Corky and the voices the space cadet it's horrible you stupid invited them into our stuff all of it and you're dumb and you fail all the time.

Qe

I'm going to fix this your grandson is giving us a good time they haven't even remember I was hammered in the snow woke me up on the TV and it felt great there's something wrong with that it's very wrong what's happening here. And try not to fart while I'm talking, s***. There's a huge number of things wrong and most of it can be traced these idiots around him that's why I keep saying since not like a wicked hard formula this is absolute parasites on me. Another season ticket dangerous you f****** don't care cuz you're stupid as hell

Mac