#one less person to deal with

[sapphos-tooth]

y’all if actually make to my birthday at this point. i’ll be shook.

#.txt #hahahaha GOT YELLED AT BY MY GRANDMA THIS TIME #for drinking not even half a glass of wine #girl im not even buzzed #saying im acting ‘this way’ because i drank wine #she was literally mad at me when i told her to wait a minute so i can change the tv channel for her #when my mom said something she starting screaming she never said anything #BRUH IM GONNA EXPLODE #people in this house refuse to take responsibility for anything #especially getting called out #because everyone is right but my existence is wrong and burden #if i offed myself #they would be like ehhh oh well #one less person to deal with #my mom won’t let me go into a shelter #if i wanna save my mental health #im gonna have to sneak out when night #pack my bags and never comeback #i’ll have to leave my bun and dog behind #i got no choice #that’s the only thing i can do #unless i just die at this point #that’s it #’im not mean or anything’ hahhaa right… #must be just delusional from my bipolar disorder ahahhaha silly me i guess 🫠

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan #why did i actually write all of this #idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing #at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword #someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword #i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans #and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it #might write this #but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing #yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok #bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here #while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge #i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them #for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl #and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator #luo binghe #luo bingge #mxtx svsss #svsss #fanfic stuff #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss ideas

[saggitary]

Clone and Unknowingly Cuddling

I’ve seen a lot of back and forth in whether clone troopers would be big on physical touch or not.

I think that it would make a little more sense especially from canon that the clones would be a little bit less into physical touch just based on their upbringing… HOWEVER

How funny would it be that no matter wear they fell asleep, who they were nearest to, anything, while they are asleep they will somehow find a way to cuddle right up to the nearest person.

They could be in the opposite side of a cave from someone on their own sleeping pad and everything and still somehow find a way to end up right on top of that other person.

Obi-Wan was very confused the first time he and Cody shared a tent in a campaign and he woke up to find Cody gone from his own cot on one side of the tent and in his cot.

Rex was horrified when he woke up on night while in a mission spooning his general. Anakin was a little surprised but didn’t say anything about it.

Even someone as standoffish and scary as Fox, has woken up after falling asleep on Senator Chuchi’s couch after going 4 days without sleep, completely glommed into the Pantoran.

Echo thought for sure he was going to be decommissioned when he woke up wrapped around his little commander, but Ahsoka assured him that she really didn’t mind and slept quite well.

Bly almost had a heart attack the first time he’d done it to Aalya. He’d even positioned himself closer to one of his captains that night so it wouldn’t happen. He’d quickly realized that the person spooning him from behind was his captain.

This habit of unconsciously ending up cuddling other people happens to make clone cuddle piles deadly for anybody to close to get dragged in. You will end up with three different people glommed onto you.

Oh did I mention that they also don’t let go until they wake up?

#I’m just saying #I’m jus- I’m just saying #this would be the funny take on clones appearing to be less receptive to physical touch #when in fact they are very touch deprived #let clones cuddle #nah I’ll do you one better #let the clones cuddle the newest person and make them deal with the after affects #the clone wars #sag’s stuff #Clone troopers #commander cody #arc trooper echo #captain rex #commander fox #commander bly #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #Anakin skywalker #riyo chuchi #aayla secura #ahsoka and echo #cody and obi wan #Bly and Aalya #rex and anakin #fox and Riyo #foxiyo

[stuckinapril]

Reframing whenever someone decides to leave you out of something or walks out of your life or just all around neglects your presence not as your loss but as theirs…. like that could have been so much more fun w me in it but I wasn’t and that will forever be your loss

#It might sound arrogant conceited etc but I used to deal w a lot of attachment anxiety bc id be like #That person is so cool. They’re so exciting. They know how to liven something up. I’m missing out on their energy #But now I think ab how they’re missing out on mine too and how they’re at the risk of losing me w every half assed action they take #Loss is never just one way if you know you bring value to something. I legit felt that yesterday for the first time in my life #Ruminating and clinging to ppl less has truly come at the behest of knowing I’m someone worth keeping around #And if you decide not to that’s a failing on your end and I don’t have to overcompensate by proving my worth to you

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

#typical prince aesthetics in romeo/julieta and nonfan… and now historical rofan in meoto… #(and there’s also whatever’s going on in tsuki no hime but that has no mv :( sadge) #sorry guys i still have meoto on the brain pls suffer with me~~~~~~~~~ #but mannnnn. i was struck by sudden inspiration for a meoto au a n d #well. ig now i understand why they skipped over the falling in love phase. romance is hardddd #i want to subscribe to the meoto expansion pack p l s i need to know what their deal is~~~~ #bc man. how in the world did they go from complete indifference to promising to stay together forever hello #what happened???????? excuse??????????? #man. m a n. ok i think im done for the night. i hope #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24 #(but if anyone here wants to get into the otome isekai genre in general… i recommend starting off with ✨s u r v i v i n g r o m a n c e✨ #(it’s a great story and it’s still modernised enough to ease into the genre. and after that…) #(you can just go for the series with the most interesting premise/prettiest art/both tbh) #(though i personally recommend ✨the perks of being an s class heroine✨ ✨the villainess’s stationery shop✨ for milder content) #(and there’s also some series with both isekai and regression.) #(like they isekai after their 1st life in 20xx-> live out their 2nd life in the fantasy world -> regress to a point in their 2nd life) #(for that type i kinda like ✨i shall master this family✨ though ngl i’m mostly reading it bc i think the aunt is very pretty) #(a nd there’s the occasional modern regression story but that’s pretty soap drama-esque and the one i read got ridiculous at times lmao) #(but ofc the ones with less romance focus are fun too~~~~ like stories with multiple isekai-ed people for one) #(b u t i digress i think i’ll stop here before i lose the plot any longer ahaha~~~~)

[cursedvibes]

I'm so glad we finally know who "the strongest" is. That was such a pressing question I always asked myself while reading jjk....

Seriously though, this means absolutely nothing. We already knew that physical power and overwhelming strength don't mean shit in the grand scheme of things. That's the whole point. That's why Yuuji is the main character. Gojo wasn't sealed because Kenjaku is stronger than him. Yuuji beating Mahito didn't bring Nobara, Nanami and Junpei back. The Culling Game didn't just happen because Kenjaku & Uraume were stronger than the sorcerers in Shibuya.

Gojo being The Strongest and more or less beating Sukuna in a fight doesn't solve the real problem, which is the system jujutsu society operates on. Gojo can't just fix that through strength, he is one of it's biggest problems. He's gonna keep the system but appoint people he approves of, which ultimately will breed the same problems that always used to be there. That's not real change.

Not to mention that you will never have an equal society when you have someone who can just forcefully restructure it, since there is no one who can speak up against or impede him. Gojo is the strongest, he is part of a reincarnating line of powerful sorcerers directly linked to and designed to protect Tengen and he is the head of one of the most influential big clans, the only one left at that. He's part of the problem. He needs to die or be severely depowered and lose the six eyes or all this will have been for nothing. Give it a few decades and you would be right where you left off because "putting the right people in place" won't solve anything if the system is fucked. Having a handful of powerful and physically strong people in charge and dictating the lives of all other sorcerers in Japan is never good, no matter how nice the new people up there might be at the moment. Especially terrible if you consider someone like Gakuganji one of the "right people" who should be in power.

#I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself but Gojo at full power creates more problems than he solves #I just really hate this narrative of The Strongest and people buying into it #that's not the point #Sukuna and Gojo can have fun beating each other up but in the long run it doesn't mean much #especially if you can't even save one person like Megumi much less deal with the world-altering damage Kenjaku is currently wrecking #jjk spoilers #jjk 235

[zapsoda]

ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

#when i was first talking to my mother about being transgender she struggled with it a lot #and she Asked why i couldnt just “be nonbinary” because that would be easier for *her* to 'deal with' #and my parents are currently accepting but that is still a thing transgender youth have to deal with #the fact that some binary trans people feel the need to misgender themselves in order to make cis people feel more comfortable #because *cis* people view nonbinary trans identities as 'less extreme' or 'less trans' #and that is both transphobia and exorsexism on the part of the cis person!!! #why must we blame other trans people for the situations cis people put us into #and to bring up some other bullshit i was whining about yesterday #being told that *really* got to me. because i didnt choose any of this! #if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have! #it has made my life endlessly difficult! if i did have a choice i dont see why i would have chosen to be trans #my family was desperate for a baby girl. all of my aunts and uncles wanted a girl child but they couldnt get one. until my parents #and im just throwing that all away #why would i do that on purpose. disappoint my entire family like that #anyways #got sidetracked #thats not the point #im gonna go eat breakfast ahahah

[fvckw4d]

"other countries have poor people but worse, don't speak usamerican" fuck you actually. Shiver in my freezing ass cockroach infested poisoned water mold ladened lead paint flaking ass apartment with me. "At least you're not the REAL poor or getting bombed or whatever" repeat what you said back slowly and then jump into the poisioned river down my street. Starve with me. Bitch.

#Big difference between us centricism and BEING A POOR PERSON AND TALKING ABOUT IT Jesus christ #You are a tar pit. #☠️ #'Solidarity but for only if you're suffering in the right country in the correct way' go to hell. #'homeless and poor people in the US benefit from imperialism' in the abstract yes but also do you FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF #Are you fucking insane #If your big ideologal stance is really 'not being bombed is a privilege and it's even MORE of one if you're in a Bad Country' #we are past the point of no return. #Also I'm gonna say it but just because the us found a way to profit off of queer people and claims they won't hate crime them #Doesn't mean it's not more or less illegal to be queer here I can't. Stress enough. If you can't rent an apartment #or hold a job because you're queer. That's just a slow winter or summer death here. You know but you refuse to actually understand. #I don't need your compassion it doesn't matter to me that much. I have real problems to deal with. #But again. You're a fucking tar pit. Hope your soul never finds rest.

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’ #i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being?? #bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’ #so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense? #less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’ #but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it. #and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING. #wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

[eugeniedanglars]

society if felisa valdez had been brought back as eddie's love interest instead of marisol

#like i'd still be rooting for buddie endgame but god at least felisa is interesting #she has a personality and a backstory and a career and a best friend and. yknow. a goddamn last name #i would have enjoyed having her onscreen and i think her relationship with eddie would have been interesting #both of them dealing with past trauma... eddie navigating the weirdness of dating a celebrity... their fun skeptic/believer dynamic... #if we're still going for a repressed gay eddie storyline then instead of the stupid fucking nun outfit #we could have gotten something like eddie wondering 'i'm dating a woman literally thousands of men dream about dating #so why am i somehow still not attracted to her or in love with her? what am i looking for in a partner if she's not it?' #and tbh felisa seems so sweet and developed such a genuine friendship with eddie in her one episode #that i could honestly see him coming out to her first because that's less scary and less real than coming out to anyone at the 118 #we could have had it alllllll #911 abc #911 lb

[solarisgod]

I want to put a gentle reminder here that it's usually not a personal case when we remove people from our Discord. If we find there's a clear end of the conversation and no exchanges were made since for a bit, we'd remove at some point as we do tend to clean our list to keep our space small. We have emotional deattachment and ongoing amnesia, so it's very easy for especially me to feel disconnected or overwhelmed in general / with all platforms we're on. That's why we don't often readily hand out our Discord until we chat occasionally and our connection has been building ( unless for rare occasions like going over commissions or having very serious discussions ) because I do feel bad removing people, but if nothing is happening usually for a while, then we do have to remove at some point to have a comfortable space for ourselves. But we're always open for refriends on Discord unless we make a post otherwise to have some space.

#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ PSA . › #[ I just saw something that make me feel really bad and like. ] #[ I'd never remove people from the list as expecting activity or replies or any from another ] #[ I've dealt with so much toxic bullshit from a former close friend across February who made me really anxious and ment. unwell ] #[ along with my stalker harassing me across the same month ] #[ and I really don't need to deal with more inconvenience on here especially if it's for something that shouldn't be taken personally ] #[ if I don't have one on Discord but we're still mutuals on here ; I still see them as a mutual and real human ; never less ] #[ just wanna put a gentle reminder out there. thank you for reading. ♡ ]

[backpackingspace]

Okay but yin yu needs a raise this yin yu is overworked that. Where is the Ling wen needs a raise content

#Tgcf #Yin yu #ling wen #I do love the idea that yin yu has a great employment plan he's just long suffering and #If he's too busy working than he doesn't need to feel things ever #Obviously hua cheng probably bullied him and definitely made him transcribe his diary bc #“What if his highness wants to read it one day yin yu this is important yin yu” #But he also seems like the person who understands very well that money talks #And that an employee who is comfortable is much less likely to betray you #Meanwhile Ling wen is dealing with some bullshit 24/7 #She's not being paid half the other gods never wrote out reports everyone is sexist she hasn't slept in 3 years #Jun wu calls her into his office twice a day to make her scribe his evil plans (tm) #She's tried she's overworked literally xie lian is the only who's ever said thank you to her ever #Yin yu gets invited to the overworked employees club for drinks (idk who else would be there besides Ling wen but let's imagine that there #Everybody complaining/screaming/wishing for death bc they're so tired #Yin yu: Oh I think there's been a mistake I actually have great benefits #Ling wen considers homicide and defecting right there and then #Idk why I'm trying to push the Ling wen yin yu friends agenda but here we are

[darling-valentine]

every now and then I remember that time my transfem friend and I were talking about her trauma and her transition and suddenly she said "but yeah you didn't go through any of that because trans men don't get harassed or bullied and have it overall easier" and I just felt so deeply upset at how she just assumed all the pain I went through couldn't exist because I somehow had it easier. I didn't even say anything because I didn't want her to think I was angry at her, because if I do then suddenly I'm an Angry Man that's exaggerating

#not to mention im latino and she's white #how can you say 'yeah you didn't suffer bullying' to a latino neurodivergent trans man that you've known is mentally unwell for years #maybe its because she idolizes me a lot but please i just want people to see me like a person and not like some concept they can define #also it's really sad seeing people say 'trans men have it easier' like I didn't get beat up and socially and psychologically bullied #ever since i came to Spain because of racism and homophobia and transphobia and ableism and every form of bigotry you can think #and even to this day i still have to deal with all that #even when i think im safe I'm never really safe for one reason or another #and being a man doesn't make me any less vulnerable #valentine.txt #valentime #sorry for the rant gamers I'm still upset and i haven't talked about it to her because I don't want her to feel bad

[designernishiki]

y3 has made me feel many things but one of the things that lingers with me the most about it is how majima takes every possible opportunity and makes every possible gesture to say “please don’t leave me alone again, please take me with you when you leave, I WANT to be right next to you when you need me, I’ll literally do anything for you, just don’t leave me alone again” always indirectly but in strong enough ways that i think it’d be obvious to anyone paying attention EXCEPT Kazuma Kiryu, The Densest Man On Earth, who he’s pleading to in the first place. it’s. frustrating to watch. someone needs to grab kiryu by the shoulders and tell him. for the love of god. this man loves you so much and you keep leaving him when all he wants to do is help you and be with you please just take him to okinawa oh my god

#kazumaji #it’s FRUSTRATING #specifically thinking about the scene in the bar after the pink truck debacle #where majima finally says like. if you’re going to Okinawa to deal with this whole assassination thing or whatever comes up I’m coming #with you. you don’t have a ton of support down there and me and you together are basically unstoppable #pretty much completely outright #and kiryu. the dense stubborn motherfucker he is. is like. i don’t have No One down there I have a few friends (missing the point). I’ll be #fine. I don’t need your help there. you should stay here #I’ll give him some credit because then saying ‘someone has to stay here and keep the Tojo clan from total collapse’ is a good point and it #does mean something that he trusts majima to be that person (especially given I don’t think anyone else on earth would trust him with that) #(despite him being totally capable- you know mad dog persona and all that blah blah blah) #like that’s a good point idk who else would be a good choice to do that considering daigo’s out of commission and who’s even left after that #obviously mine is Sketchy. kashiwagi is (supposedly) dead. everyone else kiryu trusts in the yakuza is dead or injured more or less. #not gonna leave fuckin DATE in charge or something #so. fair enough point. but nonetheless it doesn’t erase the fact that kiryu overlooks what majima means in the grander scheme of things #and still believes first and foremost that he doesn’t need/want his help when he does and he should #he’s just. allergic to making life easier for himself #among other issues #sigh #yakuza 3 #y3 #goro majima #kazuma kiryu #kiryu #majima #rambling

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

fighting everything cynical and spiteful in me because I still want to love and believe in people regardless of their flaws, but fucking hell I've hardly ever been tried on such a wide scale before. a lot of people, including people I really love, are making it really really hard to not only hold onto hope that there is a better future than this, but to feel like it's even worth it to try.

I had an inkling there would be a war on mental health on top of everything else going on, and thanks everything I am at a place in my life where it's not enough to send me tumbling down the deep end, but the thread remains thin. And it's genuinely super important to refuse to fall apart, it's absolutely necessary to find a way to persevere in the rise of a worldwide technofascist order because fuck them they don't deserve our despair, but. Yeah. I sincerely doubt it's going to get any easier any time soon, and given they're trying to destroy solidarity, to both monetize and punish self-expression and self-identity, mangle the essence of art and creation, force everybody into poverty and precarity, hunt down any indesirable in more and more unhinged ways and gradually restrict the consumption of everything... Yeah it's going to be a fucking nightmare moving forward.

My heart goes to everybody who's worse off than me on any of these topics, and who's already running on limited options and drained-out mental health. I don't know how to circumvent this entire situation we're facing, and specifically all the surgical ways they're trying to blot out hope and shut down solidarity. I just know it's absolutely necessary to find a way regardless.

#personal #cw mental health #cw The State of Things #might delete later but I just #yeah #we need to find a way #and to be honest #the fact that palestine didn't trigger a bigger reaction in the west makes me. so incredibly jaded. #not only the scale and depth of institutional racism has been revealed in a way that I find... suffocating #but also we are all so fucking stupid and we will be splattered against a wall and nobody will bat an eye when we're taken down one by one #and if we don't find a way to stop clinging to ourselves and no one else #and fight back the way capitalism desperately tries to keep us apart in unbreachable little corners #we won't make it #it's just that simple #and I find it WILD that this is considered a radical opinion #by other leftists!!! like what the fuck isn't that supposed to be our whole deal??? #yeah I don't know #I mean I do know #I'm not surprised #I know very very well people can turn out to be far less than what they praise unfortunately #but it's just soul crushing every single time #and this time the scale and the consequences are impossible to even fully grasp #anyway. yeah. I don't know there's not much to say honestly.