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#okay done. made my thing
ybcpatrick · 11 months
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communistkenobi · 3 months
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transgender lenin
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cimicherrychanga · 2 months
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Complicated Relationship with God (As Seen Through Lyrics in the Character's Playlist)
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thecrowsart · 2 months
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👁️🦎🎯
(crops under cut)
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#natsume yuujinchou#matoba seiji#natori shuuichi#horrible exorcists#sorry i couldnt think of a caption i literally sat here for like 2 minutes lol#usually i use a quote from the scene or a lyric from a song but in this scene they're just Looking#anyway FUCK architecture#really though this is csp's perspective ruler's fault. i shoulda just done this by hand#but i made it work. since it wasnt super super complicated lol#ummm i feel like natori looks like a baby ceo but that is what he was wearing at least in the anime version of this scene#and midorikawa's kind of vague about clothes so i made it easy on myself#but why are you rolling up to the exorcist meeting in a navy blazer and tan chinos?#his uniform color is tan so ig the pants could be from that but the blazer......#tryna represent the natori clan in front of the other exorcists ig idk#meanwhile matobas just in his gakuran lol#hes not the clan head yet so he can just be there as a kid#he even gets told off by takuma and called seiji-kun.....could you imagine like.#it's weird for him to not be matoba#anyway. um i completely kind of fudged the architecture because its hard to tell where exactly in the building this scene is and#i had a specific composition in mind#i only realized i messed up how the windows work like 3/4 of the way into lineart soooo#but thats the kind of thing only i would notice probably#btw i was originally drawing a different scene of them but i was faced with the reality of foliage.#and i remembered this romeo and juliet ass scene existed so#i chose architecture LOL#okay last thing. i feel like natoris haircut is too polished and nice but fr wtf is his canon hair#im doing my best LOL.........but boy#OKAY im done
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iraprince · 3 months
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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marcmorrigan · 3 months
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@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up
the best thing thats ever been mine
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lighthouseas · 10 months
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begging people to understand that "mike is not being abused by ted and karen" and "ted and karen are not good parents towards mike and this is something that we are supposed to take notice of throughout the show" are two statements that can and should coexist
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thebigqueer · 4 months
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i think the biggest reason im so bitter about the lotus casino scene is because while i understand why the changes were made, there was something so inherently child-like in the way the trio acted in the books that i feel like just wasnt allowed to be present in the show. they were immediately enamored by the games in the book, and thats what made them so relatable and fun to read. it makes sense for the show that grover and annabeth know immediately what's happening and know that the lotus casino is a trap considering their knowledge of the greek myths but i feel like that change takes away from them feeling like actual kids, which was one of the main things the show intended to hit. i feel like im seeing this in other points of the show too - they dont feel like kids, they just feel like kids' bodies. and yeah okay maybe being a demigod "makes you age fast" but there was always a sense of childishness in the books even with that fact that just isnt in the show.
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tswwwit · 1 year
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Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.
Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.
Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?
(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)
These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.
#Answers#Okay but for full transparency#I never really figured out what the 'cheating' consequence is#It's a nebulous concept since I've never had to write it happening#And left ambiguous because neither of these two are into anyone else - and as a writer I like to leave my options open!#I would assume that one of the few things they agreed on when making the contract was that unwelcome advances didn't count as cheating#But that the villain in question would get what was coming to them. Very Violently. They wanna step on a landmine? Let 'em have it#Dipper would have made a frowny face at the violence but agreed. Privately thinking well that's actually a *bonus*#A built-in defense system of sorts#(Something Bill was also thinking but absolutely phrased in the possessive aspect)#Whether or not the Consequences kick in before they meet again - their equivalent of their vow renewal - is up for grabs#Dipper trying to fend off someone only to have them burst into flames and/or blood would feel a terrified sense of relief#Who knows! Maybe Dipper has protection but has a chance for other actions before they meet again!#But the odds of that occurring are very slim. Partly due to his general awkwardness#And distinct hesitation on Dipper's part. Even though he *thinks* he should be enthusiastic#He looks at the person he's in bed with and just. It feels weird. Maybe because he hasn't (in his memory) done this before#Great job Dipper!! Someone in your bed and the best you can do is kinda grimace. Real sexy.#If he does ever manage to get up to something it's not even a tenth of the time he has with his husband#Dipper reincarnations are all very unfortunately attracted as hell to Bill Cipher and they're deeply alarmed by it#I do like the idea of different parental groups finding Dipper's birthmark and having different reactions#Perhaps a random incarnation of one of his family members ends up in charge of him one time#The results would vary *wildly* depending on who it was#On a scale of Mabel Mom to Ford Uncle how are you preparing this person for his invitable enhusbanding#(Stan remains pretty much the same but has a lot of bad marriage advice)#Wow that's a lot of tags even for me#I am going to queue this and sleep
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goldkirk · 4 months
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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards#among other things#but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR#OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT#why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN#you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough#by attempting to go another route#you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully#and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do#and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY#you fucking DID YOUR BEST#YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER#YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME#it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc#YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME#MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK#if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out#had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier#they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions#instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such#you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets#and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go#will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone
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sunshades · 1 month
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Obviously a complicated subject to navigate but the theme of "a person's worth" in the canto is a very interesting adaptation of the book and I'm enjoying it very much.
Heathcliff's attitude towards and understanding of his own upbringing shapes how he acts with the second generation- it's a sort of experiment for him, as he sometimes likes describing it in scientific terms. Talking about the boys with Nelly he draws this distinction between Hareton and lil Linton, that Hareton is an incredibly smart child and very aware of his own situation and degradation- especially as he meets other people his age, namely the younger Cathy, for whom he quickly develops feelings for, and love becomes yet another thing he cannot be allowed to participate in.
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While in game it's someone else who ends up saying these lines, what they're actually referring to + what they represent in the book is actually shown through Hindley, the degradation, relegation to servant and denial of education as well as the condemnation that to Hindley is the most cruel and most important: losing the worth "necessary" to be loved.
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In the end book!Hindley's efforts go through in making Heathcliff a horrible person just like him, though neither his nor game!Hindley's plan ever manages to actually deprive Heathcliff of his sister's love (though they certainly work in making him believe that!), but book!Hindley's plans are further defied by Heathcliff becoming rich and educated, and book!Heathcliff's plans go off the rails even further as Hareton is not only smart, but also manages to become a legitimately good person- which is where I think it's very clear how game!Hindley is inspired by Heathcliff's book self. This line describes game!Hindley's behavior towards Heathcliff and Catherine just as much as it describes book!Heathcliff's towards Hareton and young Cathy.
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But in the end the point is there's this awareness of being hurting and turning a person into something they're not, something worse.
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I think it's also very important to note those first rate qualities he talks about are very heavily referencing Hareton's ability to learn. While Heathcliff doesn't talk about this when referring to himself by this point it's obvious his own learning abilities are something he's quite proud of, all through the book he's adapting and changing to what he's faced with (from his first appearance as a child, where he doesn't even speak the same language as the family, but learns soon after, to his final plan for his own burial) and by comparing himself to Hareton he's recognizing those same qualities in him. And I feel like with what we've seen of game!Heathcliff ever since the first chapter, and what we see of him in the different identities and mirror worlds, this is gonna be quite important in part 3- all the abuse has never deprived him of his ability to improve, to learn new things, to trust in new people, just as it's never deprived him of the love he no longer feels worthy of. So! Hope we'll get to see you realize that soon, Heathcliff!!!
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THAT WOUND. THAT VILE WOUND. it throbs in time with your speeding heart, and the ache it carries through your veins is oppressive, its hot, it tangles around your jaw and through your spine and behind your eyes. there are needles, sprouting from the lacerations like the most heinous ivy, and it strangles your lungs, rips tears from your eyes, lures bile to your throat. it hurts. oh god it hurts. you cant think, you cant breathe, you cant swallow, you cant see. you cant see. you cant see. you cannot see but you know when your eyes are closed, because there are colors stained upon the backs of your eyelids. they form images of loved ones, of viscera, of bile and blood and blackened mud. its jarring, they make anxiety spike outwards, frantic ferro fluid, frightened from faces too scared, too pained, too dead, too piercing with eyes staring straight at you, straight at you. actually, you cant tell when your eyes are open.
SAUCE FREE VERSION UNDER THE CUT.
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simgerale · 2 months
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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small wip I don't feel like finishing
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verflares · 2 months
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this all being said about the light dragon and how it is definitely the biggest highlight of totk (for me at least), i Do think a lot of the reaction to it Is dependent on botw and zelda's characterisation from that game... a lot of which is kind of lacking in totk because of her more passive role (e.g. you are told about her + see her actions after they have already happened)
like. if you didn't already really like zelda and were sold on her relationship with link (and not even just from a shipping zelink perspective, like. just UNDERSTANDING they have a strong bond from everything they've gone through together) then i'm not sure if any of that stuff in totk would've hit as hard as it did. the game does very little to build on what we already know about them, which i think is both a letdown to new players (which. i am not sure why they are playing the sequel before botw, but that is how totk acts most of the time lmao) and returning ones, and as time goes on it's become harder for me to blame people for not caring for it as much.
what a truly odd game
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sarcasmchandlerbing · 2 months
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Some Leafs players collages
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