#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bigskydreaming · 1 year

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Like, I am very conscious of the aid people have given me and try not to ask any more than is absolutely necessary because I do not enjoy asking for charity like at ALL. But I am less than a year out from when I had a twenty thousand dollar (out of pocket) surgery to address a longterm disability caused by a gaybashing when I was nineteen and that flared up about seven years ago and caused constant, daily migraines, chronic pain and other issues that limited my ability to work while I spent the next six years doing literally everything I could to save up for that surgery while maintaining an expensive as fuck insurance plan that was the only option for getting the surgery DOWN to that ‘manageable’ price tag in the first place. Between that and the costs of just staying alive for those six years, even with e-begging and lots of help from people, I wiped out every cent of my savings and put myself in massive debt and tanked my credit as that was the literal only way I could afford that surgery and regain a decent quality of life. I STILL don’t even have fucking TEETH because every single one had to be pulled in order to do the surgery since to realign my jaw properly, I needed an even bite and after years of destroying my teeth every time I used one side of my face and one side only to do my best to chew and eat food, pulling every single one of my teeth and getting as-literally-cheap-as-possible-dentures instead of trying to repair my teeth first was quite literally the only real option without further dragging out the surgery timeline because I was basically bedridden by the time I actually did get it. After years without being able to work regularly, my ability to go back to my old careers are basically nil and I’ll have to start over from scratch - when I can even afford to - as in the meanwhile, my job options were limited by having a years out of date resume and pretty much all of my paycheck does go to managing my debt, trying to rebuild my credit, and basic cost of living while scrounging together pennies to try and save up now for the many bone graft surgeries I’ll need if I ever want to get teeth implants instead of relying on dentures for the next several decades. So yeah, I ask for help, mostly just when I don’t have money left over for food or the couple hundred dollars I spend monthly in meds because lmao, my various neurodivergencies don’t really help with all of that and I literally can’t afford to go off my meds or miss my regular schedule with them without risking everything I HAVE managed to pull together in terms of routine and income-generating ability.

So do I enjoy e-begging? Fuck no. Am I constantly trying to figure out better ways to supplement my income? Hell yeah. I’ve been trying to put together things like a patreon where people actually get something in exchange for money sent my way, for like, months and months but when I’m not working I’m fucking exhausted because grinding nonstop for six years through constant chronic pain and stress with zero days off will do that to a guy, and I haven’t exactly been able to kick back and enjoy myself even since the surgery.

And I do my best not to put shit like that on my posts and just keep things to the bare minimum because not only do I not love dwelling on all that, I’m genuinely not trying to guilt people into anything or play the sympathy or pity card because when you used to pride yourself on being independent and self-reliant pretty much from the age of ten because your family taught you from an early age not to rely on anyone but yourself, it’d take even more therapy than I have now to actually be okay with the fact that I’d probably be dead by now without the kindness of internet strangers having helped me stay alive at times when I hadn’t eaten in days because I was busy keeping a roof over my head instead.

But sure, random internet anons - my little post about asking for $5 or $10 is an attempt to make people feel bad about getting blue checkmarks or their financials in general, as opposed to whatever that was.

#yes Im being defensive and self conscious because lmao Im defensive and self-conscious #I DO genuinely hate being in this position every time I do send that post around. i hate it more than I can ever express #it makes me feel like even with all ive done Im STILL fucking at the mercy of random douchebags from almost twenty #fucking years ago who enacted consequences on my life I'm still dealing with decades later #ITS NOT FUCKING FUN

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lalunaunita · 6 years

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Millennials and Money Pt. 2: Budgets

Please don’t run away! You are tough and smart and you can do this.

Saying “I can’t live with a budget” is like saying “I can’t drive a car with a steering wheel.”

Following directly from my last post on this topic, we’ll pick up with ‘budgeting is critical’. I used to try to budget with self-help books, free online paper sheets, creating my own by tracking expenses… it was so hard. The biggest problem was that while I knew why I needed a budget (to save money), I didn’t know how a budget does that. So let’s look at the functions of a budget.

1. A budget provides information: just like information, a budget isn’t static – it evolves and changes with your needs. Think of it as a month-by-month snapshot in the flow of your financial life. But here’s the thing: you, as the photographer of this snapshot, get to set the scene. A good budget communicates the information you find relevant, according to goals you set for yourself.

2. A budget provides guidance: after sticking with it for 90 days, a budget will (I promise) help you plan and choose how you want to spend your money. Why does it take 90 days? Because almost nobody keeps an accurate tally of how many times they ordered pizza and Chinese delivery in a single month. We ALL find something surprising in our spending during those first months.

For me, it was groceries. I thought I spent a certain dollar amount each week, and was devastated to find out it was consistently more than I thought. But with a family of 4, I had to suck it up and admit that the number was not going to change – it’s a necessary expense and it’s just plain different from how cheap life was when I was single. It’s not bad that the number is higher, it just means I need to expect it and plan for it in the future.

3. A budget allows you to high-level prioritize: a budget isn’t a diet. It’s not about denial. It’s about setting priorities and picking what’s most important to you. If happy hour with your co-workers is a must for your peace and well-being, then it needs to be included. If tuition is necessary, then cut back on eating out. You get to choose; the budget is at your mercy, not the other way around.

Okay, great, but exactly how do I make my budget do these things?? There is a bit of trial and error involved, but I can help you formulate the basics so that you get the concept and rhythm down for yourself.

First, there’s nothing wrong with using a template budget – provided you know a few facts about them. 1) They will nearly always have categories you don’t need – you can just delete those right out. 2) They will nearly always be missing a category that’s important to you, and you’ll have to add it in. 3) They will not be able to help you determine the difference between a need and a want, which is very important. 4) If you have intermittent or fluctuating income, they will not help you deal with times when you have no money coming in.

Second, the easiest mistake to make is to look at your bank account and base your budget around your expenses. Sounds logical, but it’s not! Start by basing the budget around your needs, and then add in the other expenses.

Category 1 - Basic needs (i.e., you must have these in your budget):

Food/Water (Groceries) (NOT eating out, getting drinks, fast food, unnecessary sustenance) Shelter (Rent/Mortgage) Utilities (Electricity/Gas/Heat/Water) Transportation (Car/Bus/Bike/Other) Clothing (Work attire/Basic daily clothes) (NOT accessories, jewelry, purses, fancy clothes)

Some of these you can fill in right away, like rent and possibly utilities. (A little trick: some cities let you go on a plan to even out your utility payment so it’s the same each month.) The rest can be guesstimates – and guess what? It takes about 90 days to get it right, so if you only budget $200 for groceries and you’re dead wrong, just keep track of how much more you spent, so you can change the number next month. Transportation doesn’t include car loans, just what it takes to keep your car running and getting you to work/home/errands. Be real on whether you need an Uber or not – don’t put it as a need unless it really is. We are just doing the basics that keep you alive and employed right here.

Category 2 – other potential needs:

Phone/internet service Tuition Tithe

I put these here to demonstrate that not all budgets must have them, even though many do. I know that living without home internet or phone seems an impossibility, but since your life and livelihood wouldn’t necessarily depend on them (free wifi, etc.) I put them here. If you had to cancel for a month, you’d still live.

Category 3 – Debt:

Credit card Car loan Phone purchase Computer purchase Student loans Medical debt Other debt

This is the suckiest category. It’s depressing, it’s hard to get rid of. Blech. Now it’s time for the big girl pants. You can knock these out and get rid of them over time. Why did I not include debt under Needs? Because if everything fell apart and you couldn’t pay all your bills, you have to have the Needs listed above, but you don’t have to pay the debt. Debt collectors do not want you to think this way. If you get behind they will call you and basically threaten your future children, but they have no power over you. People get trapped paying debt and not taking care of their needs for these reasons: 1) Debt collection is an aggressive industry and they will do whatever it takes to guilt you into paying, 2) People worry about ruining their credit (forgetting that getting evicted/foreclosing will do worse things to your credit), 3) People who have integrity want to play fair and pay it back. I am saying yes, always pay your debt bills. But I am also saying put your needs first. If something has to slip for a month, let it be a debt, not your utilities, get me?

Category 4 – Savings:

Emergency savings Retirement savings Goal-oriented savings (like for school, car, vacation, etc.)

Dave Ramsey’s recommendation for those of us with debt is to have a little $1000 starter emergency fund, and then to stop saving until we get the debt paid off. I like this method and have used it. You can read about it on his website or in his book to get a clearer picture of why he recommends.

Category 5 – Lifestyle:

Pet expenses Eating out Movies Coffee shops Shopping Art supplies Video games Yarn

Look, I don’t know what goes into your lifestyle. I made up some categories here. These are things you choose to spend your income on, and if you don’t have enough money, you probably drop it for a while until you do. At first, this may feel the most bewildering: “It’s not the same each month; how do I plan this?” It’s okay! Just guesstimate, and keep track so you have better information going forward. You’ll probably get a ton of things wrong and overspend in the first month. The next month, you’ll realize that you have to skip trivia night because you’re visiting your parents, so you’ll feel smart for taking it off the budget. The third month, you’ll suddenly remember that Debra’s getting married on the 30th and you’ll set aside some cash to get a gift, rather than using a credit card. And boom, just like that, you are planning your finances. In my family, we have lifestyle categories specific to us and the kids, but we also always have a discussion about “specials” at the start of each month. Those are things like birthdays, parties, weddings, trips, etc. that get written in as one-time budget items. We put an upper limit dollar value on each, and then if we don’t spend it all, great. If we go over a little, we file it away under “experience” and do better the next time. At the bottom of the budget page, we even look farther out, just as a heads-up for planned trips, etc. Like, I know I’m going on vacation in July, so even though it’s only May, I have a little reminder telling me that any extra money we end up with should be tucked away for my vacation. It keeps us from spending it on sodas or other junk on impulse.

To implement your budget, set a reminder for the last 1-5 days of the month that says “Time to plan next month’s budget!!” or something. Sit down for 10 minutes with the last budget and look through the numbers. Do this before the 1st of the month! Do you only buy cat food every other month? Put a line thru or some other indicator that you don’t need it this month. Oh, are there 4 birthdays this month? Better increase the amount of gift money you put aside. Is the future a mystery and you have no idea whether someone will surprise you with an invitation to a party or event? Put “mystery spending” as a category and drop $50 in, just so you are covered. You get to decide!

Above all, don’t give up. I gave up so many times after just a single month. I never knew all those years that it takes a 90 day commitment to make this change and see results.

Hit me up with questions if you read this and are interested in starting a budget. You don’t have to give me specifics; general information will do for most questions. I would love to help.

#llu speaks #finance #budgeting #budgets #how to adult #personal

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annaddendy-blog · 5 years

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This Woman's Story Will Change the Way You Think About Public Assistance

I had a kid… once.

Her name was Averi. She looked like my daughter, but she was my niece.

My sister was unable to care for Averi. It came down to me or foster care. I decided my life was no more important than hers, so the Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF) granted me temporary custody. At 27, I was suddenly responsible for keeping a 4-year-old alive.

Most parents get months to prepare; I had less than a week.

I made $360 a week, about $18,500 a year. Now, I had to squeeze caring for a child - day care, food, clothes and all those unexpected expenses - out of an already razor-thin budget.

On top of that, I was consumed by grief from losing my own mother that same year.

I kept telling myself I could do this. After all, it was only supposed to be for two months.

My First Days in the Single-Mom Hustle

My first days as a stand-in mommy presented more questions than my sleep-deprived brain was prepared for: Who was going to watch her while I work? How the hell was I going to afford this?

Luckily, there was a voluntary prekindergarten, or VPK, and day care two blocks from my apartment, and they graciously let me bring Averi by the same evening I picked her up from the DCF.

Averi curiously roamed about the classroom as I quietly explained the situation to the teachers and administrators.

Back in my apartment, we settled into our first night together.

I rolled out an air mattress on the floor of my bedroom. She was required to have her own bed, and an air mattress was the fastest and cheapest solution.

The first day I dropped her off at day care was emotionally taxing for both of us. I cried the entire drive to work.

And once I got there, I could barely focus. I kept thinking through this new set of obligations, commitments and sacrifices I was only beginning to unravel. My mind raced through checklists, appointments and my shoddy finances.

I knew my salary was no match for the expenses of child care. I lived paycheck to paycheck as it was.

Rebekah, my roommate and childhood friend, shouldered the circumstance alongside me. We split rent and utilities, which lowered my core costs considerably. But my credit card debt had nearly doubled since my mom's death.

My approximate monthly expenses were:

Rent payment: $375

Car payment: $350

Electric bill: $75

Internet and cable: $65

Car insurance: $115

Cell phone: $75

Gas: $40

Credit card: $200

Groceries: $150

Total monthly expenses: $1,445.

My average monthly income: $1,440.

Adding in the cost of caring for Averi took me to a new level of financial anxiety. Trying to map out an impossible budget only made it worse.

It started to suffocate me.

The Maze of Applying for Public Assistance

During my first home visit with Averi's social worker, I reluctantly shared my concerns. I was so scared of losing her to the system.

The social worker urged me to apply for public assistance, which I hadn't even considered. I had never seen myself ever needing it. But I had to do something.

Asking for help wasn't in my familial toolbox. My parents always struggled financially, but they rarely ever asked for help. So not taking “charity” was in my blood - from gifts to handouts, I always paid my way even if it secretly broke me.

But I cared more about Averi's well-being than my dignity. It was too real. I needed the help. Any help.

I had no idea where to begin, so the social worker provided me with a list of all the programs I was eligible for. I dove in headfirst.

I swallowed my pride and signed my name on all the dotted lines I could. Applying for government assistance at 27 years old was my new reality.

School Readiness

The first program that came through was Florida's School Readiness financial assistance program.

It subsidized the weekly day care costs, so I could continue working without spending most of my salary on child care, like so many parents are forced to do.

After a $125 deposit, I paid $9.20 a week for Averi's day care.

She attended VPK in the morning and an after-school program within the same building after. I had to pick her up by 6 p.m. every day, or else face a non-subsidized, minute-by-minute late fee.

Temporary Cash Assistance

Initially, my circumstance made me eligible for temporary cash assistance (TCA), a $180 monthly stipend designed to help struggling families with minors.

The benefits help keep children in their own homes, or in the home of a blood relative, instead of foster care.

I received an Access debit card, the same card people use for food stamps. (The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) wasn't born yet.)

The card was automatically loaded with $180 each month. I could use it anywhere that accepted electronic benefit transfer (EBT) payments.

Suddenly, I was that person scouting the exterior of stores for a “We Accept EBT” sign, or quietly asking the cashier if they accepted EBT cards, worried about being judged by other customers.

Eventually, DCF approved me for the Relative Caregiver program, and the $180 increased to $240 monthly.

Women, Infants and Children

Because of Averi's age, I was also eligible to receive assistance from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's supplemental nutrition program for Women, Infants and Children, WIC.

WIC provides assistance for low-income women with children under 5 years old. WIC serves 53% of all infants in the United States.

Thankfully, my 32-hour-a-week job allowed some wiggle room for the sloth-like government waiting rooms. I spent a whole morning waiting.

Eventually, I walked out with a handful of food vouchers. They had date ranges and expirations and a list of specific items they could be exchanged for. How hard could it be?

The items on my monthly food allowance weren't exactly the nutritional foods I'd hoped for.

But I had to face it: These were the times of white bread, cereal and canned beans. No more organic eggs and vegetables or soy milk, which I'd become accustomed to consuming before I became responsible for Averi.

The monthly allowance included a whopping $8 for fruits and vegetables. While I would have hoped for more, I was thankful for food in our mouths, regardless of the form it came in.

Averi loved bananas and green beans, so I would purchase those fresh, along with a bag of carrots or apples, whichever I could squeeze out of that voucher.

I won't forget the first time I tried to use them at the register. I dreaded the whole experience, fearful of the disgusted eyes cast by other customers as they waited for me to shamefully get my government-issued rations.

I'd read the voucher over and over to be sure I followed the instructions perfectly to avoid any holdup at the register.

But at the checkout, the cashier informed me I'd made a mistake.

I'd picked up a 24-ounce loaf of bread when the voucher clearly stated I was only allowed the 20-ounce loaf. I was mortified. I couldn't leave Averi there while I ran back, so I put everything back in my basket, careful to avoid the gaze of the line forming behind me.

There it was on the shelf, the 20-ounce loaf of bread with the letters “WIC” plain as day on the price tag.

After that, I spent much more time at the grocery store than necessary, cross-referencing my vouchers so I could avoid any unwanted hubbub at the register.

Medicaid

Averi caught a cold the first week at day care, and then I caught it. I hadn't been sick in over a year, but my stressed immune system was no match for kid germs.

After that, it was pink eye.

Then Averi's repeated sinus infections, futile prescriptions and doctor visits led to a diagnosis of asthma. She was prescribed a nebulizer treatment three to four times a day.

She hopped and bopped around with the cough of a 50-year-old smoker. Eventually, her breathing improved a little, and she got off the nebulizer.

The symptoms kept creeping back, though, so we went to the pediatrician again. She got chest X-rays that determined she had pneumonia. She needed bed rest. That meant finding babysitters or missing work.

By the summer, we both contracted scabies from visiting the place my grandmother lived. The scratching saga continued for months. I wouldn't wish that itching on anyone.

I'm scared to think what may have happened to her if she didn't have Medicaid.

What Life as a Single Parent Was Like

After the first week, I was informed that the original two-month timeline would actually be six months.

To pass the time, I kept her busy.

I found plenty of free kid-friendly events happening around town. We went to community festivals, parks and free concerts.

Friends gave me free tickets to museums and local events like the Renaissance Festival. Averi thrived on all of the new experiences.

I registered her for a Busch Gardens preschool pass, offered free for children ages 5 and younger. I already had a monthly pass - with a $7 monthly rate I'd been grandfathered into - so we frequently visited the park for free entertainment.

When she outgrew her clothes, there was someone bringing me hand-me-downs so I didn't have to buy more. When I did, we went to thrift stores, making it a fun treasure hunt to pick out an outfit she loved.

You learn a lot about people when you fall between a rock and a hard place.

I'd come into work to find a handwritten note and AMC gift cards on my desk. Or a friend's mom would slide me $20 when I hugged her. My boyfriend would treat us to dinner, or his mother would make breakfast on a Sunday morning without asking for anything in return.

Many endured DCF-required background checks just to babysit her for a few hours so I could have a wink of sleep, or time to catch up on work or other obligations.

On Averi's fifth birthday, more than 40 people attended her party at Chuck E. Cheese.

At home, we danced around in all of the tissue paper from the gifts. The joy on Averi's face showed she didn't know about our struggle. She only knew the kindness of friends and family, which is exactly how I wanted it.

The network of support humbled me, and I allowed myself to lean into it.

That August, Averi started school. She received free lunches, and I made her breakfast at home. She adapted with ease, and I shouldered the expense of fundraisers, classroom activities and gifts for her classmate's birthday parties.

One night before bed, I saw the light bulb click in her eyes as the words to Dr. Seuss' “Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!” started to make sense. She read every last one of them (except Zumble-Zay).

Sharing that milestone was priceless; I'll forever treasure the memory.

The Financial Toll of Being a Caregiver

Soon August rolled into September, and as the time toiled on, so did my financial problems.

While everyone thought I was due some karmic reward, I was busy maxing out my credit cards.

I knew I'd literally pay for it in the end, but I didn't care. My maternal instinct was to protect her at any cost.

The credit card companies started to lower my limits, because I was only making the minimum payments and overspending.

Overdraft fees on my checking account sent me to my Bank of America branch. I didn't mean to cry when I talked to the teller, but the flood came anyway. All I wanted was to reverse a $30 fee for going $2 over my balance.

It happened more than once. One bank associate began to know my face and my circumstance. His patience and benevolence will always be beyond me, as was his advice.

He told me about financial hardship programs that would allow me to close my credit cards and pay little to no interest.

By September, I started closing my credit cards. I knew this would kill my “age of credit history,” but it was the only way I could keep from drowning in debt, consolidate and lower my interest rates.

The Life I Chose for Averi

I was granted permanent guardianship of Averi that November.

I wanted to keep her as close to my chest as she'd become, but I knew deep down I couldn't continue to provide for her or afford our life together.

My older brother had recently moved back from out of state. We discussed the option of Averi living with him and what would serve her best long term.

On paper, I was single and broke. He had a wife and daughter and was financially stable.

We both knew living with him would be best for her, regardless of how it made my heart ache.

That Christmas came fast.

Between the donations set up by DCF and the continued generosity of family and friends, Averi wanted for nothing. Santa supplied maybe her best Christmas yet. Gifts towered over our 3-foot pink Christmas tree.

While she tore open presents, I snapped a ridiculous amount of photos, mentally preparing myself for the fact that our time, like 2010, was nearing an end.

I was coming to terms with letting go and the decision to give her a better life. A life not supported by the system. A life still with family and within an arm's reach of me.

A week shy of a full year together, I packed her stuff, swallowing back tears.

Her moving in with my brother was an easy sell. She adored her little cousin and wanted to have sleepovers with her every night. The only problem, she said, was that she would miss me.

As we piled her stuff into my brother's black Suburban, she hugged me tight and said, “I love you with all my heart, Aunt Stephanie.”

What My Year on Public Assistance Taught Me

My year of living on public assistance was eight years ago.

Averi now lives 2,000 miles away.

My brother took a job up north, so they moved a year after she left my care.

We've seen each other only a handful of times since; we stay in touch with handwritten letters.

It took me some time to readjust to life without her, both emotionally and financially.

I had plenty of credit card debt before Averi, but it nearly doubled after a year of unexpected child care. The public assistance support ended the moment she left me.

While I did receive a boost in my tax return for claiming her as a dependent, it barely made a dent.

It took me a few years to get serious about paying it off instead of wallowing. I felt like I'd made enough sacrifices that I just wanted to live without worrying about it.

Obviously, ignoring debt doesn't work. I couldn't escape the financial obligations lest I file for bankruptcy. That wasn't me, or who I wanted to be. I'd already danced with the public assistance system, and this time, I wanted to clear it for good. So I faced it.

I slayed that interest-laden beast with balance transfer credit cards and a personal loan to consolidate other outstanding debts.

I inched my way out of debt every year since, and as of August 2018, I'm finally debt-free - aside from a car payment - for the first time in 16 years.

My credit score rebounded, but I had to learn some costly lessons.

I'm not embarrassed to admit that public assistance helped me through the hardest year of my life.

My experience with social workers, courts and public assistance offices made me realize how many kids need our help. Those insights led me to seek out opportunities locally.

I learned that while it isn't easy, asking for help is OK; people love you and want to help you.

And one day, you might even have the chance to help them.

Stephanie Bolling is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She'd love to talk to you about your experience on public assistance.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

The Penny Hoarder Promise: We provide accurate, reliable information. Here's why you can trust us and how we make money.

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personalcoachingcenter · 5 years

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Lots Of Great Personal Development Tips All In One Place!

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/lots-of-great-personal-development-tips-all-in-one-place/

Lots Of Great Personal Development Tips All In One Place!

If you are uncertain about how to develop a plan for personal growth, this article is for you. Remember that positive thinking and education are the way to personal development. This article provides you with some things you can use to reach your goals.

There other uses for exercise besides weight loss. There are multiple reasons for exercising. When you exercise, your body is stimulated to produce hormones and chemicals that work together to keep you calm and happy.

Write a pep talk to yourself. Take a postcard and write down all the things that you like about yourself. Keep it with you, and pull it out if you are feeling discouraged. Better yet, read the list out loud while recording yourself. How will this help with your personal development?

Read literature that is focused on personal development. Many of the best-selling books offer page after page of useful, and possibly life-changing, ideas and insight. When selecting a book, look for positive reviews so that you can have a better idea of the purchase you are about to make.

Instead of bragging about how many things you’ve earned in your life, try to ask other people about what they’ve earned in their life and what they’re proud of. This will enable you to learn about others and to develop a great deal of respect for the people around you.

People should not be afraid to investigate professional therapy to deal with serious problems. While self-help books can be effective, many cannot provide the benefits that come from personal, targeted interaction with a therapist. Sometimes, simply talking through your problems can help you conquer them. A mental health professional will be able to open a dialogue that no book ever could.

Arrange a meeting to speak with a counselor or clergy member. These individuals are trained to listen to your problems and are highly skilled. They are ready to listen and to analyze certain things that will have you on the path to enlightenment. Discussing your problems in a safe environment with a licensed professional, can really make all the difference and leave you feeling much better.

Regardless of your surroundings, you should be ready to record ideas when they come to mind. Use a notepad app on your phone or even carry a real notepad with you. Write down your idea in detail, then implement it at a later time when you can expand on the issue.

Treat everyone with respect, no matter what they can do or how much power those people may have. The way you behave toward others has more to do with your personality than with anything they say or do.

There is one key strategy to consider, no matter what your individual goals for personal development. Choose to take real action, everyday, towards your goals and dreams, instead of just watching others from the sidelines. If you are observing instead of living, you are not really alive.

Go with a friend to see a movie you enjoy. Movies are social settings, but they do not require conversation or uncomfortable socialization. In addition, this can give you the opportunity to become comfortable in crowded rooms.

Compose a pep talk for yourself. Write down all of your good characteristics. Carry this list with you at all times, and take it out when you need to pick yourself up. Even better, read it aloud on video and watch the video often. What’s the point?

It is possible to learn how to cope in a crisis without letting your emotions take full control. If you know how to keep a cool head during stressful times, then you will likely be able to handle most problems life sends your way. Take time each day to just breathe.

One of the most important elements of personal development is taking proper care of your health. Everyone feels much better when they’re in good physical health. You’ll be able to think more clearly when you are healthy, and even save money since you will require less medical care. Making choices that lead to a healthy lifestyle should be a part of your daily routine.

Sometimes a little risk could equal great happiness for you. When you take risks, you may end up feeling like you’ve failed or been rejected. But if you just stay in your comfort zone, you will eventually become dissatisfied. Daring to try new things is essential to your happiness.

Begin a special savings for emergencies. For many people any unexpected expense results in more charges on their credit card. By setting aside five dollars each week, you will be one step closer to having a modest emergency fund. This money can help out in the short and long term because debt continues decreasing.

Having a good attitude can help you evolve as a person. If you do not have a good attitude you will never get as far as you could have. Assure yourself that positivity is the only way to see constructive changes in your life.

Once you have made the decision to improve or make changes in your life, commit to doing it. A plan for your ideal life is a great starting point, but a plan without action will get you nowhere. Take action with the goal of realizing your dreams.

A great tip for personal development is to make sure that you place value on what you consider to be the best. If you always endeavor to do your best, you’ll never be disappointed in yourself.

Therapy might be the answer for someone with a real issue. Although many can be helped by self help books, often a personal touch or human interaction can be more effective. Even the simple act of having someone impartial that you can talk to can improve your chances for success. Books don’t offer the opportunity for discussion that psychiatrists can.

An excellent tip for personal development is to treat your body well. Listen to the signals your body sends you: tiredness, hunger, pain or discomfort. Respond right away to them, for the sake of your health. Make sure to give you body the vitamins and nutrients it needs to provide you with a sufficient amount of energy. If you choose to ignore your body’s needs, there’s a good chance that it will ignore your wants.

Personal Development

An important part of personal development is bettering your health. You need to not only eat right and exercise, but maintain the motivation to do these things day after day. Put health at the pinnacle of your personal development plan to feel your best and to be more successful with all of your other life goals.

Try talking to the pastor at your church, or a therapist; it can help. These professionals are equipped to discuss very deep, emotional issues and often have many years of experience. Their job is to listen to you and your concerns and help you gain a new outlook on your situation. Talking out your problems with a professional can make you much happier and healthier.

Always remember as you work on developing yourself that you deserve to be better, and that it will benefit you more than anyone else. Believe that you should do the best for yourself. When you complete your journey you’ll be secure in the knowledge that you did the best you could and no regrets are necessary.

Be modest. Everyone is only a small part of the universe. Remember to learn from other people and keep in mind that you don’t know everything. Remain open to any opportunities the world presents to you. Being open-minded about what others can teach us is a great way to grow.

You are now well-informed on personal development and personal growth. Stay optimistic and believe that you will reach all of your goals! Remember, as long as you are constantly learning new knowledge and expanding your skill set, you are working on your personal development.

Do you feel like you drink too much alcohol? Do you smoke or participate in other actives that can harm your body? The body is considered a temple, and it needs to be treated with care and respect. Eliminating bad habits can be a very essential part of improving your life. Take stock of how you are living your life and the habits you have accumulated. Which ones do you think you could get rid of right now?

#personal development #personal growth #Personal Coaching

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kennethherrerablog · 5 years

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This Woman’s Story Will Change the Way You Think About Public Assistance

I had a kid… once.

Her name was Averi. She looked like my daughter, but she was my niece.

Most parents get months to prepare; I had less than a week.

I made $360 a week, about $18,500 a year. Now, I had to squeeze caring for a child — day care, food, clothes and all those unexpected expenses — out of an already razor-thin budget.

On top of that, I was consumed by grief from losing my own mother that same year.

I kept telling myself I could do this. After all, it was only supposed to be for two months.

My First Days in the Single-Mom Hustle

My first days as a stand-in mommy presented more questions than my sleep-deprived brain was prepared for: Who was going to watch her while I work? How the hell was I going to afford this?

Luckily, there was a voluntary prekindergarten, or VPK, and day care two blocks from my apartment, and they graciously let me bring Averi by the same evening I picked her up from the DCF.

Averi curiously roamed about the classroom as I quietly explained the situation to the teachers and administrators.

Back in my apartment, we settled into our first night together.

I rolled out an air mattress on the floor of my bedroom. She was required to have her own bed, and an air mattress was the fastest and cheapest solution.

The first day I dropped her off at day care was emotionally taxing for both of us. I cried the entire drive to work.

I knew my salary was no match for the expenses of child care. I lived paycheck to paycheck as it was.

My approximate monthly expenses were:

Rent payment: $375

Car payment: $350

Electric bill: $75

Internet and cable: $65

Car insurance: $115

Cell phone: $75

Gas: $40

Credit card: $200

Groceries: $150

Total monthly expenses: $1,445.

My average monthly income: $1,440.

Adding in the cost of caring for Averi took me to a new level of financial anxiety. Trying to map out an impossible budget only made it worse.

It started to suffocate me.

The Maze of Applying for Public Assistance

During my first home visit with Averi’s social worker, I reluctantly shared my concerns. I was so scared of losing her to the system.

The social worker urged me to apply for public assistance, which I hadn’t even considered. I had never seen myself ever needing it. But I had to do something.

Asking for help wasn’t in my familial toolbox. My parents always struggled financially, but they rarely ever asked for help. So not taking “charity” was in my blood — from gifts to handouts, I always paid my way even if it secretly broke me.

But I cared more about Averi’s well-being than my dignity. It was too real. I needed the help. Any help.

I had no idea where to begin, so the social worker provided me with a list of all the programs I was eligible for. I dove in headfirst.

I swallowed my pride and signed my name on all the dotted lines I could. Applying for government assistance at 27 years old was my new reality.

School Readiness

The first program that came through was Florida’s School Readiness financial assistance program.

It subsidized the weekly day care costs, so I could continue working without spending most of my salary on child care, like so many parents are forced to do.

After a $125 deposit, I paid $9.20 a week for Averi’s day care.

She attended VPK in the morning and an after-school program within the same building after. I had to pick her up by 6 p.m. every day, or else face a non-subsidized, minute-by-minute late fee.

Temporary Cash Assistance

Initially, my circumstance made me eligible for temporary cash assistance (TCA), a $180 monthly stipend designed to help struggling families with minors.

The benefits help keep children in their own homes, or in the home of a blood relative, instead of foster care.

I received an Access debit card, the same card people use for food stamps. (The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) wasn’t born yet.)

The card was automatically loaded with $180 each month. I could use it anywhere that accepted electronic benefit transfer (EBT) payments.

Suddenly, I was that person scouting the exterior of stores for a “We Accept EBT” sign, or quietly asking the cashier if they accepted EBT cards, worried about being judged by other customers.

Eventually, DCF approved me for the Relative Caregiver program, and the $180 increased to $240 monthly.

Women, Infants and Children

Because of Averi’s age, I was also eligible to receive assistance from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s supplemental nutrition program for Women, Infants and Children, WIC.

WIC provides assistance for low-income women with children under 5 years old. WIC serves 53% of all infants in the United States.

Thankfully, my 32-hour-a-week job allowed some wiggle room for the sloth-like government waiting rooms. I spent a whole morning waiting.

Eventually, I walked out with a handful of food vouchers. They had date ranges and expirations and a list of specific items they could be exchanged for. How hard could it be?

The items on my monthly food allowance weren’t exactly the nutritional foods I’d hoped for.

But I had to face it: These were the times of white bread, cereal and canned beans. No more organic eggs and vegetables or soy milk, which I’d become accustomed to consuming before I became responsible for Averi.

The monthly allowance included a whopping $8 for fruits and vegetables. While I would have hoped for more, I was thankful for food in our mouths, regardless of the form it came in.

Averi loved bananas and green beans, so I would purchase those fresh, along with a bag of carrots or apples, whichever I could squeeze out of that voucher.

I won’t forget the first time I tried to use them at the register. I dreaded the whole experience, fearful of the disgusted eyes cast by other customers as they waited for me to shamefully get my government-issued rations.

I’d read the voucher over and over to be sure I followed the instructions perfectly to avoid any holdup at the register.

But at the checkout, the cashier informed me I’d made a mistake.

I’d picked up a 24-ounce loaf of bread when the voucher clearly stated I was only allowed the 20-ounce loaf. I was mortified. I couldn’t leave Averi there while I ran back, so I put everything back in my basket, careful to avoid the gaze of the line forming behind me.

There it was on the shelf, the 20-ounce loaf of bread with the letters “WIC” plain as day on the price tag.

After that, I spent much more time at the grocery store than necessary, cross-referencing my vouchers so I could avoid any unwanted hubbub at the register.

Medicaid

Averi caught a cold the first week at day care, and then I caught it. I hadn’t been sick in over a year, but my stressed immune system was no match for kid germs.

After that, it was pink eye.

Then Averi’s repeated sinus infections, futile prescriptions and doctor visits led to a diagnosis of asthma. She was prescribed a nebulizer treatment three to four times a day.

She hopped and bopped around with the cough of a 50-year-old smoker. Eventually, her breathing improved a little, and she got off the nebulizer.

By the summer, we both contracted scabies from visiting the place my grandmother lived. The scratching saga continued for months. I wouldn’t wish that itching on anyone.

I’m scared to think what may have happened to her if she didn’t have Medicaid.

What Life as a Single Parent Was Like

After the first week, I was informed that the original two-month timeline would actually be six months.

To pass the time, I kept her busy.

I found plenty of free kid-friendly events happening around town. We went to community festivals, parks and free concerts.

Friends gave me free tickets to museums and local events like the Renaissance Festival. Averi thrived on all of the new experiences.

I registered her for a Busch Gardens preschool pass, offered free for children ages 5 and younger. I already had a monthly pass — with a $7 monthly rate I’d been grandfathered into — so we frequently visited the park for free entertainment.

When she outgrew her clothes, there was someone bringing me hand-me-downs so I didn’t have to buy more. When I did, we went to thrift stores, making it a fun treasure hunt to pick out an outfit she loved.

You learn a lot about people when you fall between a rock and a hard place.

I’d come into work to find a handwritten note and AMC gift cards on my desk. Or a friend’s mom would slide me $20 when I hugged her. My boyfriend would treat us to dinner, or his mother would make breakfast on a Sunday morning without asking for anything in return.

Many endured DCF-required background checks just to babysit her for a few hours so I could have a wink of sleep, or time to catch up on work or other obligations.

On Averi’s fifth birthday, more than 40 people attended her party at Chuck E. Cheese.

At home, we danced around in all of the tissue paper from the gifts. The joy on Averi’s face showed she didn’t know about our struggle. She only knew the kindness of friends and family, which is exactly how I wanted it.

The network of support humbled me, and I allowed myself to lean into it.

One night before bed, I saw the light bulb click in her eyes as the words to Dr. Seuss’ “Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!” started to make sense. She read every last one of them (except Zumble-Zay).

Sharing that milestone was priceless; I’ll forever treasure the memory.

The Financial Toll of Being a Caregiver

Soon August rolled into September, and as the time toiled on, so did my financial problems.

While everyone thought I was due some karmic reward, I was busy maxing out my credit cards.

I knew I’d literally pay for it in the end, but I didn’t care. My maternal instinct was to protect her at any cost.

The credit card companies started to lower my limits, because I was only making the minimum payments and overspending.

Overdraft fees on my checking account sent me to my Bank of America branch. I didn’t mean to cry when I talked to the teller, but the flood came anyway. All I wanted was to reverse a $30 fee for going $2 over my balance.

It happened more than once. One bank associate began to know my face and my circumstance. His patience and benevolence will always be beyond me, as was his advice.

He told me about financial hardship programs that would allow me to close my credit cards and pay little to no interest.

The Life I Chose for Averi

I was granted permanent guardianship of Averi that November.

I wanted to keep her as close to my chest as she’d become, but I knew deep down I couldn’t continue to provide for her or afford our life together.

My older brother had recently moved back from out of state. We discussed the option of Averi living with him and what would serve her best long term.

On paper, I was single and broke. He had a wife and daughter and was financially stable.

We both knew living with him would be best for her, regardless of how it made my heart ache.

That Christmas came fast.

While she tore open presents, I snapped a ridiculous amount of photos, mentally preparing myself for the fact that our time, like 2010, was nearing an end.

I was coming to terms with letting go and the decision to give her a better life. A life not supported by the system. A life still with family and within an arm’s reach of me.

A week shy of a full year together, I packed her stuff, swallowing back tears.

Her moving in with my brother was an easy sell. She adored her little cousin and wanted to have sleepovers with her every night. The only problem, she said, was that she would miss me.

As we piled her stuff into my brother’s black Suburban, she hugged me tight and said, “I love you with all my heart, Aunt Stephanie.”

What My Year on Public Assistance Taught Me

My year of living on public assistance was eight years ago.

Averi now lives 2,000 miles away.

My brother took a job up north, so they moved a year after she left my care.

We’ve seen each other only a handful of times since; we stay in touch with handwritten letters.

It took me some time to readjust to life without her, both emotionally and financially.

I had plenty of credit card debt before Averi, but it nearly doubled after a year of unexpected child care. The public assistance support ended the moment she left me.

While I did receive a boost in my tax return for claiming her as a dependent, it barely made a dent.

It took me a few years to get serious about paying it off instead of wallowing. I felt like I’d made enough sacrifices that I just wanted to live without worrying about it.

Obviously, ignoring debt doesn’t work. I couldn’t escape the financial obligations lest I file for bankruptcy. That wasn’t me, or who I wanted to be. I’d already danced with the public assistance system, and this time, I wanted to clear it for good. So I faced it.

I slayed that interest-laden beast with balance transfer credit cards and a personal loan to consolidate other outstanding debts.

I inched my way out of debt every year since, and as of August 2018, I’m finally debt-free — aside from a car payment — for the first time in 16 years.

My credit score rebounded, but I had to learn some costly lessons.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that public assistance helped me through the hardest year of my life.

My experience with social workers, courts and public assistance offices made me realize how many kids need our help. Those insights led me to seek out opportunities locally.

I learned that while it isn’t easy, asking for help is OK; people love you and want to help you.

And one day, you might even have the chance to help them.

Stephanie Bolling is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She’d love to talk to you about your experience on public assistance.

The Penny Hoarder Promise: We provide accurate, reliable information. Here’s why you can trust us and how we make money.

This Woman’s Story Will Change the Way You Think About Public Assistance published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

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before-retirement · 5 years

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Seven Things To Do Before You Retire

Retirement is the most significant change in your life. You might have dreamed about so many things that you will be doing once you retire. From having a road trip with your friends to enjoying cooking, starting some kind of business services and much more ideas. But amidst all of it, a finance strategy is necessary to imply from now onwards for the retirement.

If you are someone who is about to retire in a few years, then there are few things to do before retirement. Today in this article, we are going to give you a closer look at eight crucial things.

1. Get Rid Of Debt

Debt is the HUGE danger of fixed income. Credit card bills, student loans, auto loans, mortgage loans – clear all of it. No matter how much budget you have every month. Always take out some money and pay all the debt.

Remember, after retirement your income stops. Therefore, before you retire fulfill all the debts. Besides, if you think of using the retirement income in paying all the loans, chances are you might be left with nothing.

No matter how much you are tight on schedule, budget or whatever – do all you can in repaying the debts. You can do extra hours at work or perhaps a part-time job – either way or it will be rewarding for the obligations.

2. Health Care Costs

Your health must be your top priority. The healthcare today is becoming expensive all because of modern technologies and new disease detecting every day.

If you are a youngster, then opt for medical insurance. Another option is to check upon your human resource department. Find out if you are one of those lucky guys whose medical is being covered by the company.

In that case, you will not need to worry about anything. But, better to consider medical supplements and provisions for your health.

3. An Ideal Place Of Living

Many people after retirement think of moving into a new place by selling their old house. If your grand kids live in another country, then you might consider moving to a new state. But shifting to a new home is like building a new life.

Do you wish to modify the new home in your style before moving in? On the other hand, do you plan on going to a less expensive state? Think about it and plan accordingly.

Additionally, renew the home warranty if you plan to stay in the old home. Home repairs are very costly. By doing so, you are reducing the unwanted repair costs for the house.

4. Checking Off On Your Bucket List

Everyone has something, experiences in their heart that he or she wishes to do it once in a life. But, if you are thinking, “Once I retire, I am going check off all the things from my bucket list.” Then you are WRONG!

You are totally unaware about how your health is going to be in next ten years or perhaps even if you are going to be alive or not. Hence, seize and live one day at a time. Along with it, you don’t want to end up binge-watching TV every day. Therefore, divide a few for the retirement as well.

But, spend money accordingly on your bucket list because SAVING is essential.

5. Plan The Budget

One definitely needs to plan the budget to give an idea about all the expenses. Once you stop working, there will be the reduction in certain costs. If you are always wearing, business attire then the costs of buying will reduce. Similarly, food costs will come to a halt, as there will be no weekend outing with the colleagues and boss.

But at the same time, you might be travelling more because you will be financially capable enough. If you are living in the cold climate, then you might want to visit a humid environment.

The new income will be your pension or the consultancy you give for freelance. Therefore, ensure that you plan accordingly. While there is cease of few expenses, you are likely to expect the increase in costs of work. For instance, hiring a person for the household chore, medical bills and lot more.

Compare it with the expected income during retirement. You’ll get the idea about it and time to resolve.

6. Re-evaluate Your Estate Plan

Every adult possesses the will and power of attorney. With the lifestyle, you leading towards it is essential to take a view at the end of planning that is your real estate property.

Always talk to the experts whenever you are creating documents for the heirs. A letter with detailed instructions to the heir must be given so that there is no additional stress after your death. The experts also recommend you to keep reviewing your will every five years.

7. Are You Ready?

This is the most important thing to decide. Just because everyone is retiring at the age of 65 does not necessarily mean that you need to do the same.

Ask yourself whether you are ready or not? Do you look forward to something or is it merely to retire at appropriate milestone? All these questions will help you out in concluding whether you are ready to retire or not.

Also, consult with your family to know their thoughts. If you are confirmed about the ability to maintain yourself and your family financially, mentally – go ahead!

The adult life is spent in working and then comes the time to retire. For every person the definition of retirement is different. But often at times, they overlook the changes that are bound to happen.

We don’t want you to consider your retirement as boring. In fact, we wish you to enjoy retirement to the fullest with your loved ones.

Therefore, be smart enough and plan ahead about the retirement. The above written are six things to think about before you are retiring. Analyze everything in detail and trust us; you will be happy you did.

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