#ok vent over thanks

[duvidha-mp3]

quick vent. there's a girl in my course who had actually joined a research course initially (before our classes started) in another state and she left it to come here and truth be told, things suck here. it's actually pretty terrible but we live with it right. but she keeps talking about how great her 2 months there was and how the people are better over there and how much fun she had while she was there while everything is just shitty here compared to it. and like I get it to a certain extent but when you've been here for 10 months you kinda have to Move On at one point

i usually just let her talk about it however she wants (even if it makes me feel a little awful since it's such a negative outlook) because I guess I feel like she deserves some kind of an outlet and someone to listen to her

but this is the end of our first year in this course and we decided to go out for lunch with our dissection group and WHILE we were all together having a good time she has the audacity to say to me "being here with everyone makes me want to go back to my old uni" and like. what do I even say to that.

i get that she doesn't really like the people here. they don't really meet upto her "standards" or whatever but there is A LIMIT to how much i can stand her insulting everything

like i understand how she feels I really do because I've experienced this too. but that doesn't mean you go around being so negative about it, especially when we're together doing a good thing for once

this turned out to be a not so quick vent ehe but yeah. i just didn't really talk to her after that because I can't help it if she feels that way and i can't really be bothered at this point either

#mine #ok vent over thanks

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[melrosing]

anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me

#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags #like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol #since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything #they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts #and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god #then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me #so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through #like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again? #and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence #it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’ #to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’ #and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’ #WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’ #and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win??? #like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao #i leave end of the month #at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened #I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!! #I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are

[jasperyourmutt]

Crawl in my head and find the brain off button?

#is there not a day where I do not struggle. #i am just so tired and my brain hurts #if it’s not one thing it’s another and now I’m bleeding again! perfect thanks so much #i love my doctors but I would also love to not have to seek them once a month after thinking I’m good #and people just fucking suck. what gives you the right to hurt me #ok sorry vent post over I’m just. consistently having the worst time always #just have to get the thoughts out of my brain #jasperbarks

[irritablepoe]

Little rant about my friend and consuming media lmao

Ok how do you consume media and still have NO IDEA who even the main character's name is? I recommended tma and bsd to a friend - well he started both. I ask him about it - like who his favourite character is or what he thinks of it - and he's so.... Confused almost? Like he just shrugged and said that he actually had no idea what was going on - which ok is kinda fair with bsd but like. you know the characters at least. Each one of them is introduced in some dramatic way, you can't MISS any of that and surely there's at least one character that gets your attention/that you relate to/that you find interesting. I mean ok maybe you forget the name or sth, but you at least remember the characters when I describe them to you, right? But no, my friend had no idea who for example Dazai was - DAZAI?! Like. What???? Or Atsushi.. the fucking main character???? Or chuuya???? Or - anyone??? I was so perplexed. How can you watch something and still have no idea about what you're watching?

The same happened with tma. I recommended it, he listened to the first few episodes. I asked him what he thought of Jon. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO JON WAS I MEAN WHAT???? Oh idk he's just the guy reading the fucking statements. Before every statement he says "audio recording by Jonathan Sims" like how can you... miss that?

Idk, am I just consuming media so intensely or is he just... I don't even know.... Disinterested in engaging with the media one is consuming? It's not even that he doesn't like it. I asked him and he said it was good. But what exactly does he find good when he has no idea about. like. anything.

#vent post #personal #ranted to my mum about it as well and she said it might be bc he's stoned out of his ass the whole time #hhhhh #but i think more and more people don't have media literacy anymore #like they don't consume media critically they just watch whatever gets their attention first #it feels so dystopian.... #like wasting your time on those types of media just so that you're passing the time and not engaging with it #idk if that makes sense #i think I'm kinda hurt as well bc i thought we could talk about these series together #i even watched some of the things he enjoyed but he doesn't have a clue about them either #he always says that i become the “expert” on those mediums anyways so he doesn't have sth to add to the conversation #but that's not at all what i want? like I'm not the expert of anything i just want to talk about what he enjoys #and maybe get him to talk about things i enjoy as well #this all feels so bitchy I'm so sorry #ok rant over ig #thank you for reading all of that🙏💕

[aro-carpenter]

Airports are of the devil

#ive been up since 5 am mountain time #i got trapped in a car for 4 hours. then i got out went through denver airport. got on a 3 hour flight. got to the next airport #and the next flight has been delayed so fucking long and might be cancelled idk we'll see #and in that time ive had like a single class of water. half a cup of coffee #and one meal #it is 7:30 pm #i was planning on being home by now so i could have fun socializing with everybody tomorrow and/or sleep a fuck ton to make up for this #somebody fuckinf help me im gonna turn into the joker #ok vent over thanks everyone for listeninf love u #original

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism

[non-plutonian-druid]

*sigh* getting real sick of “canonical” aspec rep being like. tweets by the author.

#thats been a recent trend #kids in the aspec tags lose their shit over their shiny new 'canonical' rep #and im just like. ok so are you going to show it in the source material or #oh no? cool thanks for nothing #*cough* a certain owly kids show *cough* #and several others but thats the one that annoys me most #like i get it i get it i get it its HARD to get queer rep in media still #i get it #tweets still arent rep tho #you dont have to say the words i will take ANY gesture in the direction of any kind of canonical proof AT ALL #ANYTHING to say 'yeah these words im saying had literally even the smallest iota of an effect on how this character was written' #but oh hm here i am making this post thats weird #for the void #i feel like i should add that said certain owly kids show is not the brunt of the problem #and im not a paragon of virtue for being more irritated at it than i am about the other ones #my irritation is purely selfish and petty and there are plenty of other media properties with this problem doing *worse* #the point is just that Word of God is worth jack shit when there isnt an iota of subtext #and im probably weakening that by bringing it up #but this is a vent post i do what i want

[famewolf]

if im being honest and allowing myself to vent a bit about it ... another red flag was when the DM went 'wow i love the detail of your backstory but idk what i can do with it tho ):'

#[static] #it immediately made me feel bad for trying to make a character work with the aesthetic she had given us tbh #i could already tell she didnt seem to be super character story driven so i just made a pretty simple drifter-type #for a post-apocalyptic setting n such and made a group that tied into the whole over-arching premise #i also literally just did bullet points cuz i could tell she wasn't gonna want to read one of the backstories i usually do #and as someone who has mostly dm'd in the past i did my v best to make a character that was super easy for the dm to incorporate in any way #like a solid reason for being there a reason for wanting to adventure with strangers a reason for seeing the mission through no matter what #made a whole small faction and connected them to the overarching theme and plot in multiple ways #wrote down lore and npcs she could use for the faction if she didnt want to make up her own #like all the works and all i got was two sentences back about it ... one of them being like 'cool but i dont like the extra details' #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh #ok im done yelling now i just need to vent for a second #i feel bad for feeling kinda bummed about the experience because this is the first time i got to play at a physical table in years #and i know how hard it is to DM #but also when you come to the table with zero notes for the first session its ... probably gonna be disappointing jkfghdf #i DID have fun however because the party banter was hilarious and it was fun getting to hang out with ppl! #but communication between DM and players was not great #also let me be clear she did like that i made so many connections and hooks into the story and it helped her a lot #she was NOT interested in my character's past like ... jobs or npcs #but also u could just Not say anything about it and just be like 'sweet cool thanks for the info' LMAo

[mar64ds]

i am no woman or man i'm just a cartoon rabbit, i promise

#my gender is so confusing i wish i could just be a cartoon character i think all my problems would be solved #i'm always thinking am i REALLY a demigirl or am i a cis woman that just wants attention (not true never listen to that) #other times i think am i nonbinary and the fact that i'm so used to being perceived as a woman and trapped in an environment where #i will never be perceived as nonbinary by others. and all of that makes me think that #if i identified as nonbinary it would feel like i was faking it because 'im not really nonbinary' #which is false too you can be whatever you want #and then i also think. demigirl does fit me because i dont fully feel like a girl and i dont fully feel nonbinary i am just kind of #in the middle. which IS what being a demigirl can feel like #but good lord i get so invalidated over and over again by my mother (should have never told her. thats my bad) #that sometimes i feel wow i'm faking everything i'm not real *dissociates* cool #anyway. this is so long if you have somehow read all of this thanks and sorry #as of right now i'm a demigirl i think that's cool. but really i am a cartoon rabbit ok #vent #just vent in the tags but whatever lol

[odysseusisadick]

also this one time in the odyssey where odysseus gets this bag full of wind and everything and straightup tells NOT A SOUL what's in there and they're already seeing ithaca coming back after years and he did not sleep for like nine days and THEN decides to sleep and his friends just open the fucking bag because they think its gold etc whatever you think its totally ur fault honey xx

#odysseus #ancient greece #odyssey #this will be my odysseus vent page now ok thank u #did not use it anyways lets give it a use #also why didnt he let his friends take over navigating the boat?? like they also know where ithaca is #dumb af im telling you #classics

[ratvich]

sits really normal and not at all upset

#vent #dont rb #ughhhhhhhhhhh #be me . ask for math help . get toyed with and made fun of . #and now hes probably sad or whatever UGH im so upset #i thought he understood how much i dislike math and everything surrounding it and that that would mean hed actually help without being mean #but i guess not ok thanks #like . dude youve seen me cry over math so many fucking times did u really think being mean like that wouldnt affect me ??? like ? hello ? #and now my math groove thrown off -_- ill try to get back on track but i just wanna curl up with buttercup and cry #whateverrrrrr i dont care i dont care & it doesnt matter #maybe i shouldnt have left the call although in my defense i was one second away from crying #and also i did cry . i am crying #UGH whatever

[daydadahlias]

me: ok and then I’ll turn off anon asks on tumblr bc people are being really creepy and inappropriate and rude and that will keep me safe from the horrors!

anon ao3 commenters:

#I swtg I’m gonna revoke Jess rights /j #I’m gonna delete all my fics and you’re gonna have to sign a waiver to have access to them #I’m gonna have to do a whole background check #there’s a fucking reason I didn’t write smut for 6 months #and I’m this 🤏 close to going right back to that #I wish people a very #stop being the way you are with me pls thanks sm #ok midnight vent over

[vvitchering]

Quick question for the 30+ crowd, at what point do we stop instinctively looking for the advice of an adultier adult before we do literally anything

#this is rhetorical because I know the answer is probably either Never or What’s wrong with you #I think a huge part of why my stress and anxiety have been so much worse is because I don’t have another adulty adult around now #I lived with my sister after I moved out and while she’s younger than me she’s always been smarter and more mature than me #so I felt secure in leaning on her for support and advice and whatever #and then I moved back in with my parents after my sister moved out of the country #and now I live with my younger brother #who while he IS an adult and only a little younger than my sister #he has the maturity of a child #absolutely cannot rely or lean on him at all #I have to take care of him and myself now #and I’m STRUGGLING #ok vent post over thanks for reading #life

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Unpopular opinion. I don’t enjoy going to big conventions. Specifically talking about nerd/geek/fan/weeb conventions here. There is way too much stuff going on at once, way too many things being sold. I get absolutely overwhelmed. Also the overt commercialism of everything at those big cons with industry booths and everything just feels so capitalistic. It feels like when going to these things it is always about buying stuff and consuming which just kind of depresses me.

#it is that time of year when everyone I know is talking about comic con and I just personally want nothing to do with it #I don't want to sound mean or pretentious about this either since I know a lot of people have fun I just get so overwhelmed #makes me want to throw up and like two hours to decompress so I never have a fully good time #also listen I love buying stuff as much as the next guy but I also get so hypersensitive to having too many things #so going to places that push this kind of mindset just demoralizes me about being a fan of anything #ok thanks for listening vent over #squack