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oqlixsreads · 2 years

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𝗜 𝗗𝗢𝗡𝗧 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗡𝗬𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗵.𝟯

summary// y/n can see eddie drifting away so easily for someone else, how would he feel when he has to watch you go through what he saw with chrissy? or could he possibly prevent it?

warnings + content warning// angst, fluff, break ups, cursing, mentions of drugs, death, SPOILERS FOR s4, Imk if i missed some

a/n: i am so so sorry this took so long for me to post, also this isn't an insanely long fanfic. sorry if your tag isn't there for some reason usernames ain't popping up. this is gonna stretch to vol.2 bc i like being in pain.

please share this lol, i didn’t put tags at first i forgot, so it’s not gonna be underneath any tag lmfao

y/n wrote quickly, they had many notes to write with who knows how long time. finished with most of them, making sure to leave one for both grandma, and dad separately.

eddie’s note was saved for last, there’s not telling how long it would possibly be, and how much time it would take to write. so many words went through their head, that they would only be able to put on paper than say it out loud.

robin and nancy agreed to meet this Victor Creel, in order to see how he survived Vecna. “What do you think they’re writing?” steve said eyeing Y/n as they jotted down words, letter after letter. “Who knows. let’s just, leave them alone. for now.”

the two girls had left and then their were stev, max, dustin, lucas, and y/n. till they got up giving each of their friends a letter. “what’s this?” max questioned staring down at the envelope in her hands. “it’s just incase-” y/n took a deep breath in. “uh- just something’s i want you guys to know before i uhm. y’know.. die.” they swallowed the lump in their throat.

“y/n it’s going to be ok-” “no max it’s not. i’m going to die today, and there’s most likely nothing we can do about it but accept it.” “steve i need you to take me to my house then to lovers lake” he cocked an eyebrow. “uhm why?” they held up the remaining three of the letters. that said ‘grandma, dad, and eddie’. “no.” “no?” he shook his head. “the walkie-talkies might not reach to lover’s lake.” “yes it will.” dustin joined it.

y/n smiled at him. “no.” their smile dropped “steven i’m not going to spend my last day on earth in the armpit of mike wheelers basement.” “i don’t care.”

the group followed behind as they quickly walked out onto the street with the intentions of getting to their family, and eddie. “YOURE NOT GOING!” steve yelled after them. they stopped dead in their tracks beside his car. “unlock the door then.” steve sighed, when the car doors locked with a loud click.

as everyone was settling into the vehicle y/n could hear noises in the background, turning their head a bit they saw a clock staring back at them. they’re running out of time.

y/n walked through their home finding their grandmother cooking some food. “hey sweetie, i thought you were out with your friends today.” “yeah i was- i am. i just came to grab my uh walkman. i laid some letters on the table for you and dad.” their grandma looked confused. “letters? for what?” “just with everything going on i just-” they were cut off with while being pulled in by a hug. “there’s nothing to worry about.” y/n smiled sadly “yeah grandma, you’re right.” they tried pulling away but failed.

“can you let go now please?” trying to get away from her grip. “you’ll be gone soon y/n, make the most of it while you can.” “let go of me.” y/n’s body trembled with fear. they looked up only to see the creature? inside out human? the thing that would soon kill them.

“I SAID LET ME FUCKING GO.” wiggling out the grasp they fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

only to see that grammy wasn’t there, y/n was met with an empty and quiet house. they had been alone the whole time.

they quickly walked out the front door, not wanting to be there any longer. lucas caught onto their discomfort. “you ok n/n?” he placed his hand on their shoulder before they entered the car. “yeah, thanks lucas.” y/n turned their attention to steve. “you can go now.”

eddie heard a car pull up, and a door slam shut with a “make it fast.” coming right after. he saw his ex walking towards the house with something in their hand look anxious as ever. “hey, hey, hey. what’s wrong y/n?”

y/n took a deep breath, and took off their headphones trying to prepare themselves to give eddie this letter. their body shook slightly when they held their arm out. his wash was painted with a confused expression. “this is for you.” he took the envelope from their hand slowly opening it. “what’s this for? you- you’re scaring me.” his voice was shaky.

y/n took a seat on the steps with eddie following the action. “i’m gonna die today.” they tried to keep their composure, but to be fair how could you even say that without breaking down? but there was no point in sugarcoating it.

he looked utterly mortified, didn’t know what to say, couldn’t form words. the only thing that happened was tears forming the brim of his eyes. “what happened to chrissy, yeah. i’m next.” eddie couldn’t do anything but engulf them into a hug, squeezing them until they couldn’t breathe. “no. i can’t- i can’t lose you y/n”.

y/n hugged back, crying in the crook of his neck. “i’m not ready to die eddie.” both of their bodies trembled of what was next to come. neither of them were ready. none of their friends were ready to say goodbye to y/n.

eddie was confused, he felt helpless, how could anyone stop this. yes robin and nancy are trying to find a way to stop this but there’s no say in whether or not it would work.

he sat there trying to process the whole situation. was he really going to lose the person he loved the most?

y/n pulled away. “i need water, you can read the letter.” as they stood up the world around them changed. it was dark. it was scary. “y/n” it sounded like a voice was above them, beside them, in front of them. it came from every direction. but moving around in one circle there was nobody to be found.

i’m the distance they could make out a figure walking towards them. it was him. it was eddie. but deep down they knew that wasn’t their eddie. they knew the words that were to come out of his mouth are fake. “it’s finally time.” he was itching closer, with every step forward y/n took a step backwards.

they couldn’t keep standing there, they had to run, and fast. however the further they went the louder the voices got. y/n pasted by too much, to process where they were even at.

eventually running down some steps leading to a cemetery. they tried to catch their breath but had to stop for at least a few seconds, hiding behind a wall. seeing how much distance they got from “eddie” they turned their head around the corner only to vecna. “you can run all you want. there’s no escape.”

“Y/N? WAKE UP.” y/n’s friends stood around them shaking them violently. “C’MON SNAP OUT OF IT.”

eddie’s eyes were bloodshot red, he was shaking with fear as max, lucas, dustin, him and steve screamed at the top of their lungs trying to get y/n back to them. “CALL ROBIN AND NANCY. CALL ROBIN AND NANCY.” dustin never ran faster in his life to snatch a walkie-talkie yelling code red into it.

y/n carefully walked around the opened graves on each side of them.

they thought they were in the clear, and picked up the pace. y/n loss touch of the ground beneath them and started to fall insanely fast. falling onto presumably blood, now in a red area with random junk on the ground where two teenagers were plastered on pillars. fred, and chrissy. sat right there, eyes missing, jaw popped out of the socket, and limbs contorted.

y/n felt sick to their stomach, it didn’t help when things started taking them, and pulling them closer to a pillar. they struggled and tried hard to get out of the hold. but they were tired of running.

dustin ran to the group with cassettes in his hands yelling at max and eddie. “WHATS THEIR FAVORITE SONG?” he threw the songs onto the ground shuffling hoping to find a song that y/n loved. “what does this have to do anything.” dustin sighed angrily. “ITS JUST WHEN SOMEONE- ITS TOO MUCH TO EXPLAIN. TELL ME THEIR FAVORITE SONG.” “BILLIE JEAN, BY MICHAEL JACKSON.” both of them yelled at the same time.

y/n was wrapped around a pillar as well, their ears perked up when music started playing around them, i get to listen to my favorite song as i die?. reminding them of the time they and eddie listened and danced to it a while back. vecna was now in front of them inching closer and pointing at them.

“i told you i would catch up to you.”

in the distance behind him there was an opening showing their friends all in distress while they were lifted into the air. their eyes widened at the sight. he was directly face to face with them. “it’s time.” y/n couldn’t die without at least putting up a fight.

their heart was pounding with fear. they noticed a wooden plank out of the corner of their eye. snatching it and hitting vecna in the face with it making him stumble over, and making the vines go weak allowing them to get free.

hitting him one last time and spitting in his face. “screw you.” y/n ran for the last time seeing the people they loved afraid out of their minds. it didn’t matter how exhausted they were, dying was not an option.

random things started to fall from the sky, with hopes from vecna wanted them to fall only for blood to splatter onto their face and clothes. they could only think about the memories they had with all their friends.

lucas, max, will, and mike walked into Scoops Ahoy for y/n and steve to sneak them into the movie theater. “if anybody finds out about this-” “we’re dead!” the two older kids scoffed and looked at each other. “why do we still do this for them?” “because we love them steve.”

the time eddie and y/n danced witch each other in their room.

“i want to love you! PYT, pretty young thing!” y/n stared at eddie as he smiled at their enthusiasm towards this song. “you need some lovin’. tender love and care!” he joined it with them. sure this wasn’t his type of music mostly was the opposite, but he would do anything to watch y/n stay happy like this forever.

y/n curled up into eddie’s side when the music ended, and he tried to pull them closer to him, if that was even possible. “what song now?” he hummed at the question. “what’s that other song you go crazy for?”

y/n cocked an eyebrow. “Everybody wants to rule the World? Billie Jean? Rock with You? take your pick.” “mm i’m thinking Billie Jean.” y/n gasped out of shock “that’s my favorite song. good taste ed’s.”

the first time y/n officially got comfortable with eddie and allowed themselves to be free around him was the first time was when they played that song. Billie Jean.

“eddieeee dance with me. pleaseeee” y/n pouted at his stubbornness when he continued laying on the bed. he groaned but deep down inside he was nervous and all giddy at the fact y/n wanted to dance with him.

y/n was so close to the opening leading to their friends.

they were a mess. watching y/n sit in the air helplessly, all they could do is beg that this worked. y/n’s body dropped to the ground, eddie scooping them into his arms while max tightly gripped their arm and everyone else crowding around them.

they shot up, sucking in a huge breath of air with tears streaming down their face clutching onto eddie. “i thought i lost you” they tried to process what they just experienced, they nearly died. their body shook in his arms. “i’m here, i’m not gone.”

they all stayed at reeder ricks house for the night. eddie volunteered to stay up all night watching y/n, just in case something happened, he looked at them softly snoring, along with loud snores coming from the other side of the room. with that letter still in his hand,

slowly opening it.

dear eddie,

hi eddie, i’m not sure where to start with this. but i want to start off by saying i’m sorry, i’m sorry when you were trying to tell me how you still felt i dismissed it. i thought maybe, you were still confused about your feelings. you’re probably scolding me right now because i’m apologizing, and saying “it’s not your fault.” i feel like part of it is.

i wish i was able to say this out loud, but i can’t. it’s too hard to say it without breaking down. to be honest, i walked away because i was scared. i was scared that it would happen again, that you would find someone else and scared you would tell me that you don’t love me anymore. i wish i could read your mind because i never know what you’re thinking, sometimes i feel like you don’t want me, then you do, or you see me as just a friend.

i know. it’s stupid. i really do love you, more than anything. when you said you didn’t love me anymore, i honestly did not know what to think. i panicked, i was confused and hurt. by how blunt you were and how you said those words so easily. i didn’t know what to say. but i couldn’t stay with you, and i really wished that i could hate but i think we both know I’m not capable of that. however i do hate that i still love you. that i can’t stop loving you. it’s pathetic, i know.

if i die, and you’re reading this. please ed’s. move on, be happy. i don’t know if i’ll get the chance to say it in person, but eddie. i love you. if i die, i’m glad it’s going to be me.

if i’m being honest, i can’t live without you.

i’m sorry for all that sappy shit. do you remember when you took me on my first date? or our first official date. we went to the movies, Happy Birthday to Me. i was beyond nervous and excited at the same time. that was the first time you kissed me. thanks for head butting me by the way. i really appreciate it.

what about when i kept playing that one song over and over, until you eventually got annoyed, don’t lie you know it was getting annoying. it’s still my favorite song, i mean it’s been my favorite since it came out in. Rock with You by Michael Jackson. such a good song. how could you ever get annoyed? let’s not forget PYT now always a good one.

do you remember us dancing to Michael Jackson?! well i mean. what about that time where we snuck into a drive in movie, the movie SUCKED. at least we had fun watching the people around us scream for no absolute reason.

or when you let me dress you up in different types of clothes.

i practically forced you, but the two of us know you have fun doing it. i guess this is goodbye though.

thank you for the best months of my life.

i love you, more than you’ll ever know.

-y/n

tags: @eddiescorrodedcoffin86 @httpjiikook @heizenka @capybaraluverfr @marisans @beepboop900 @eliangooxx @the-one-fee @chrissysgf @lovelyladymayyy @hotdilfworld @missgay15 @surfsupbrahh @trinatiger @simp4rengoku @stitchity @kozykenma1102 @zealouslibrariesparadiselight @eddiemunsonsfrgf @cam-peggio @iveofficallylostmymarbles @eddiemunsonsbitch2000 @jay-swoohoo @lostinwonderland314 @erikaar @lokigirlszendaya @preciousbabypeter @prettyplant0 @nooneadoresdotcom @jaz-444 @fairykiss32 @grimmbunniee @wren5650 @mess-is-my-aesthetic @fredskum @a-dot-ham-24601 @spoookyconsultingcriminal @parker-natasha @mopey-thicc @sarahwasfound @magnus-lightwood14 @munsonsquitar @boobielover2800 @imjustheretryingnottodie @henhouse-horrors @klitzgetsfreaky @urleastfavemilf @p1ss0ffgh0st @todoroki-slut @siren-melodies @sidekickforlife @bite-anon @platonic-greek-lover @gwendolyn3019 @notbeforelong @baby-bearie @grannyrosita @fujiihime @heeyitsg @slasherfvker @josephquinnswhore

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #stranger things smut #lucas stranger things #stranger things x reader #nancy stranger things #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things spoilers

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kowalskiology101 · 6 months

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Tagged by @midnights-dragon

Here is 20 questions and my varied answers.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

29 and counting…seriously the amount of startup fics I have in the background instead of me continuing/finishing the ones I have is startling…pretty sure it’s 17 plus a request I haven’t started just for Modern Family alone. 5 of those are not MoFy.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

272,137 as of posting this.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

If we’re only going by Ao3: Modern Family, Penguins of Madagascar, H20: just add water, Gravity Falls, All Hail King Julien, Good Omens (crossover), Stranger Things (crossover and probably only one), Big Time Rush tv.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Biggest to smallest: We were kids on the street (MoFy), Glass Walls (MoFy), Sibling Honesty Policy (H2O), The Dunphy sister team up (MoFy), Return to California (MoFy)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to the best I can! I like people to know that I appreciate they took the time to write comments. I try to be professional because idk how old people are unless they volunteer that information. Also I've gotten a request twice so that's nice. I did write a MoFy request 'The Dunphy sister team up'.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably ‘Is there hope in a world so bleak?’ (MoFy) because it’s a zombie story, post apocalyptic, so who they lost are never coming back and they just have to deal with life as it is now. And I may have written and deleted a tidbit where Cam and Mitch die together at the end and hated it. Theatre (also MoFy) ended not with Jay fully accepting Mitch is gay, but ‘it was something’ like a baby step.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly, most of my fics end up having a happy ending. I’m a sucker for that. My most bittersweet one feels like Camaraderie. Maybe We Are the Penguins since it ended with Kowalski and Rico dating, Marlene and Skipper dating, and all but Private graduated high school, and leaving the door open to a sequel I’m writing. Maybe ‘If we stay’ only for fixing the ending to Modern Family.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once someone on FFNet said a thing I wrote was f-ing stupid. I think it was my Pokemon story that tried to keep up with the ever increasing generations and probably because I put Red in without knowing his significance to the community. I mean, I’d rather be given ideas on how to improve. While it wasn't hate, I've received comments that were just odd to me recently on FF and I'm like...ok the story's ancient, let it rest please or stop reading if things bother you so much which were non issues. End question before ramble/rant

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Once. Modern Family Camchell, it was sorta surfacy but got the message across. I think I write heavy implications better.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’m a sucker for some crossovers when I believe they can happen. My craziest one posted is part of Multiverse Adventures was Gravity Falls meets Stranger Things.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not, but what are they going to do? Copyright something that I don’t even own, good luck with that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I had some story translated into Korean. I wish I saved a pic or the site name because FFNet got rid of links and idk what site it was on. Now I’m thinking question 11 can be entirely possible. But again, I don't own the fandom of which it came.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I’m not opposed to it.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Is it weird to put an OC in this? If not, King Julien (Penguins of Madagascar) and my OC Josie. If no OC, then Skipper and Marlene and Kowalski and Rico from the same series followed closely by Camchell (Cameron and Mitchell, Modern Family)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have an original work I call Quintuplets about fostered siblings in the tentative care of their aunt and uncle. I do have a story in The Last of Us universe focused on four siblings fleeing a fallen quarantine zone, I have more hope of finishing that one though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, scenes and characterization (I was once told I described the building the human versions of the Penguins from PoM too much and didn’t focus on what was happening)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

If there’s too many characters, I kinda forget some sometimes. Probably scene transitions and I’ve found endings to longer stories a bit of a challenge and I end up skipping through years to finish it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it fits. To use Modern Family as an example, Gloria frequently speaks in Spanish, so why not if it fits in the story?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Penguins of Madagascar. Begin flashback sequence: There I was, bored. Super bored. Nothing to do because state testing. Then. I thought of the episode of PoM where Private went on a sugar high and thought he saw a sky orca (Skorca). I proceeded to write a story where it happened again, but tragedy struck like an eighteen wheeler on a leader penguin…A scrapped part of that story led to what I feel is one of the best stories I’ve ever written (Camaraderie) until Ao3

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Almost answered that too soon. On FFNet, my favorite is Camaraderie (could you tell?), a Penguins of Madagascar fic. a tale of love, loss, betrayal, and friendship (why didn’t I ever change the summary? I strongly believe my falling out of love for fandoms and writing is due to how sad I was that it was over. It led into years long hiatus.

On Ao3, probably We were kids on the street (Modern Family). (This is my ‘final’ decision after originally typing this and four other fics)

#ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfics #tag game #modern family

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gwengrahm · 2 years

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RIDDLER (Paul Dano) x Reader

WARNINGS: Mention/condemning of rape (because of a case you’re working on, but no details),just romance with a plot (there may be some gore in the future but nthng for now)

SUMMARY: You meet a new late night costumer at the coffe shop you work at. Being a waitress isn’t your main job (you’re actually a GCPD profiler) but he makes it much more interesting. Brain teasers and pumpking pie, that’s all the two of you need to get closer, though you can’t completely manage to figure him out. You both keep secrets from each other, secrets that could kill or save lives, secrets that you’re not even conscious of keeping, like the fact that you guys have already met, although it would be impossible for you to know.

Ok so i wrote the first chapter… it’s my first fic and english it’s not my native language… feedbeack it’s much appreciated

Link to the post that started it all https://gwengrahm.tumblr.com/post/680150491646361600/should-i-write-a-riddler-paul-dano-x-reader

Chapter ONE

YOUR FIRST RAINY NIGHT

Gotham nights could be quite boring, just as much as they could be excitingly scary. Working the night shift in a café would in fact have been a nightmare, if it wasn't for the once stranger, now close patron, that you met that certain late evening.

Rain was pouring from the sky, as if god himself was attempting to cleanse the city from its many sins, when the sound of the water drops became louder. The front door opened, letting not only the noise but also a drenched man inside. There weren't many other people in the bar and the soft lighting paired with the bright yet distant vigilante signal made the situation far more intimate, yet slightly eerie. You had been left alone to take care of serving the remaining clients, while in the back your other co worker was washing the last dishes for the day, ready to head home.

The man sat right near you, despite having the whole counter for himself, you didn't think much of it though, most people would rather get as close as possible to the waitress (AKA the lady that supplies you with alcohol). But this guy was different, he looked relatively normal, though something about him threw you off: maybe his messy damp hair, or his soft cheekbones on his exhausted face, or his nose on which sat a pair of clear glasses, or even his intense, deep eyes, that could have belonged to a beaten dog as well as a killer… those eyes, you couldn't get over how confused they made you, you're a profiler after all, even though at night you work here to make ends meet your main job is that of a GCPD consultant… you should… NO you MUST be able to decipher him, or at the very least the mask that he, like anyone else in Gotham, puts on facing friends and fiends.

< do you have any pumpkin pie left…uuuh> he tries to read what's written on your name-tag < …y/n…? > you nod and turn to hand him a plate with a slice of pie <do you want something to drink with that as well? You know refills are free…> you say, hoping it'll get him to stay longer or at least talk a little more <I'm ground, but I'm not earth, I'm brown but I'm not dirt, i pump your blood yet i don't beat, too much of me and you will bleed…> you stare at him in silence as he stares back…those damn eyes again…as the answer to his riddle crosses your mind you unconsciously grin, <you got it?> he asked, surprised you didn't get weirded out, as most people usually do when presented with one of his brain teasers <it's not so difficult to guess, but that's not the point… for now> <most people don't even try>.

You serve him the coffee he asked for and collect the last clients tips. He stayed sat there for a while, for the rest of the night he didn't speak another word.

Chapter TWO

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

To be really honest, you almost forgot about him after he left, but when he came back, two days later, he too seemed determined to figure you out, to make you his own little experiment.

A non verbal yet mutual agreement was made between the two of you as he made a habit of coming back to the cafe, late at night, always at the same time: he’d supply you with brain teasers, puzzles and riddles, while you provided the brain fuel that was coffee and pumpkin pie. Sometimes he demanded you'd make a riddle up and after a few times you took a liking to it, he always solved them so quickly while you took some time to solve his, but it was extremely rewarding, specially when he'd leave a good tip.

It wasn't all about the tips though… there really was a connection that neither of you had ever felt with anyone else, the kind of connection you’d never want to brake.

One night, a Halloween night, though it seemed ordinary like any other, became the beginning of a new journey that would have taken the two of you in much darker places: he had entered the cafe at the usual time, sat at the usual spot and ordered <the usual, y/n >, you kept your back to him, recognizing his slightly hoarse, almost metallic, voice , the sound of which seemed gentle and sweet, you immediately started preparing his order. You had put away the last piece of pumpkin pie for him, if any other costumer had asked for one you’d just say there was no more left, and the perfect place to hide it was with the case-file that you took with you from the precinct… you NEEDED to examine it further… that guy and his actions sickened to the stomach, you loathed him with every fiber of your being.

You kept your back to Eddie (you like calling him like that in your head, though you weren't nonchalant enough to use it in casual conversation) still looking for the file and the pie, while keeping up with the smalltalk <sooo what have you been up to lately? Any news from the GCPD?> the question seemed more than normal, you liked talking about your job and he liked to listen, so, while still looking for it, you started talking about the case file <It’s funny you’d say that because I do have something to tell you I-…> <are you working on any murders perhaps?>

He interrupts you… that felt rude, though you sensed excitement in is voice, you couldn’t really blame him, after all you were (and still are) a true crime fan as well, so, after pondering a while, you answered <no actually, but i do want to share a case that’s just as bad> you hear him sigh, but your attention gets caught by the pie and the file that you were so desperately trying to find, you had absentmindedly put them in a small metal drawer under the counter… no wonder you couldn’t find them!

When you stood up and turned your back to the coffee machine to face the counter… something seemed definitely wrong.

His left eye was bruised and slightly puffy, his hands, usually steady and pale-ish, were now shaking (in excitement, he would have said) and had red knuckles. One could almost hear the blood pumping from his heart to his veins, no wonder he seemed different to you, even by just hearing his voice.

Moved by concern you stared at him for a while, before hearing him say <it must be a really gruesome crime for you to feel sick… you never let these things affect you…> as if he didn't look like a punching bag.

Since you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, you replied and acted unfazed <well… i hope you’re not sensitive to sexually abusive behaviors…> you warn him, you couldn’t risk triggering him of all people. He shakes his head <it’s fine with me, though I’m starting to understand why you hate the guy so much, please do go on..> <ok…uuhh… well.. there’s this guy who abused like… 20 different girls.. he's not only a predator, he's also a sadist (which is fine if every party involved is ok with it i guess) but when it comes to rape… trust me it’s the worst case I’ve worked on, heard or read about so far… the thing he would do to them… they make me shiver>.

Eddie stared at you, looking almost more concerned for you than you were for him… it was a bitter sweet feeling…

Chapter Three

SOMETHING IN THE NEWS

You decided you couldn’t bare seeing him in that condition without taking any action, you were about to open your mouth to speak your mind about it but he cut you off <i know it might sound insensitive but… why are you obsessing over this guy so much… is he THAT difficult to track down?> <No actually, we already know who he is… THAT is what infuriates me the most! We keep arresting him but he has too many connections and money to even stand trial, let alone be put in jail… as far as i can tell… he’ll NEVER stop, unless he dies,…> < ~or gets killed…~> (he thought), as a matter of fact, after you said that, something sparked in Ed’s eyes, you both hated corruption with a passion, but didn’t know about this common trait, not yet.

He’d successfully distracted you from your question for a few minutes but you were stubborn and worried enough to slip it in the conversation nonetheless <by the way, what happened to your eye?> <nothing…I…uuuuhh just-mmh… fell from my apartment stairs… haha, not the best experience, your coffee cheered me up though!>

You stare at him… does he think you’re THAT dumb? or… maybe… just maybe… you’re wrong… perhaps you’re worrying too much, as you always do when you connect with someone… you don’t really care all that much about strangers but injustice moves you more than anything, specially when you care about the one who’s suffering because of it.

<You know you can tell me everything, right? If someone hurt you I-…> <Can i be REALLY honest with you?> you nod and gently smile <well i was getting here when a group of masked guys threatened me with a knife, i had to give them most of my money, though i saved some for your pie and… well… even though they didn’t stab me they did give me a good beating… >

<I’m… sorry…> you looked at him and his puppy eyes that melted you to the core.

You decide to trust him (BIG mistake, you’ll later realize) and as he shrugs it off with a muffled laugh, you do the same and indulge in further explanation about the case that he now seemed so fond of.

Suddenly Ed raises his head. He starts watching the old tv, that has been on that ceiling corner of the cafe for a decade now, almost zoning out as you too listen to the metallic voice of the news.

<~As night falls on Gotham city another prominent political figure leaves us: our beloved Don Mitchell, who was then running for Mayor, got murdered in his own residence, head taped allover and a warning written in blood on it… “no more lies”… he was unfortunately found by his young son, coming back from a halloween party… more updates will foll-… wait we have.. we have last minute news…> you two look at each other, almost content with the information, as the news anchor tried to understand what the guy on the other side of the line was telling him though his earpiece <the… bat.. the Batman! was found lurking around the scene, he was apparently let inside by the cops, as most people testify… what does Gotham’s vigilante have to do with all this? We’ll follow all the story developments, so come back tomorrow and stay tuned on chann- ~> some guy got up and switched to a football match, Eddie looked at him, annoyed by his very presence, but the he turned to you. You could tell he was exited to tell you something… < weird case, right?> he smirked but didn’t realized you noticed <Absolutely! I hope I’ll get assigned to it! Such a peculiar MO must require a profiler… i need to take care of that other guy first though> <well if you need any help…> he makes himself available as if he could do anything a bout a rich rapist <I’ll figure it out somehow and if I do manage to get assigned to the case, trust me, I’ll tell you everything! Within the limits of confidentiality of course> you wink at him, you both blush, he didn’t expect you to flirt with him, neither did you to be completely honest. <it’s not like he was the most incorruptible guy in Gotham anyway… I’m not saying he deserved it it’s just…> you said, <better him than an honest citizen right? Maybe the killer knew about his real nature and… decided it was best to eradicate evil from its very roots > he added.

That comment was unsettling but… he’d only said what you already felt deep down… maybe talking to him about the case, if you ever manage to work on it, will turnout to be useful.

Chapter Four

#the riddler #arkham riddler #riddler x you #riddler x reader #paul dano riddler #riddler #riddle rp #riddler fanart #riddler fanfic #reading fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #paul dano #the batman #batman #dc #dcu fanfic #riddler year one #robert pattinson

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maliciouslycreative · 3 years

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How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived.

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun.

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for.

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later.

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao.

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was.

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics.

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread.

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing.

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned.

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves.

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too.

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at.

#malicious musings #stacey's adventures in fandom drama #lol #honestly it was such a fucking wild time #if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them #god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on #but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done

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waywardwrestlewritingwaif · 3 years

Text

Whisky Secrets (sequel)

Here's something different. Before I ever thought about posting fanfic here, I used to write things inspired by fanfic I found by some of the incredible writers I found on tumblr. I've never posted any of them but I've really felt like writing something for Aleister Black/ Tommy End lately.

So I reached out to one of my original favourites on this site, @ghostofviperwrites and asked her if she'd mind if I published this sequel I wrote to her story Whisky Secrets. She gave me the ok (for which I thank her very much).

You absolutely have to read her piece first or this won't make any sense. It picks up literally at the point where hers leaves off and the entire premise is based on what she wrote. I think this goes in a very different direction than what she had in mind, though.

Since this is an old story, some of the characters are very different than they are now. It was set at around the time I wrote it. Based on events in the story, it's pretty clear when that was.

It's a bit dated but I hope you enjoy.

Pairing: Aleister Black x OFC (hints of Roman Reigns x OFC)

Word count: 7,031

Content advisory: graphic sexual content, language, incidental roughness that some might find stressful

You rested on the sofa for too long, knowing that you had to get to work, that you were already behind on an assignment that was due that afternoon. As much as you desperately wanted to cling to the scent and the feeling of him being there with you and the idea that he might someday want to be there with you for longer, you knew that you were only wasting time by indulging in a fantasy. Once again, you reminded yourself, he saw you as a friend, a landing pad after he was finished his adventures. And so you dragged yourself to the computer and tried to focus.

It was a fluff piece you’d been hired to write: places for new residents of Orlando to meet people. You’d accepted it because the pay was good and it had seemed easy. But what the hell did you know about meeting people? You’d barely met anyone and the only ones that you’d call friends were the ones you met when you’d done an in-depth profile on the WWE and their development territory NXT. Of those, only Aleister had remained close and even then, you couldn’t say that the two of you had ever properly opened up to each other. Nevertheless, you’d stayed in touch with a number of them, occasionally meeting for coffee or drinks. None of this was in any way useful when it came to recommending locations to connect with strangers.

You’d tried to start the article the day before but now when you opened the file, you discovered that you’d only come up with a half a dozen corny titles and one word of text:

When?

The word was too painfully appropriate.

When were you going to run out of luck and be unable to find further work as a journalist?

When were you going to admit that what kept you here, rather than moving to another state and pursuing more secure work, was the fact that you were in love with a man who was only interested in your capacity as a friend and caregiver?

When was your hopeless love going to break you beyond repair?

Annoyed with yourself, you deleted the word and tried to start again. You could meet people at the gym classes that were ubiquitous in this city. You could meet people at get-togethers for shared hobbies like hiking or pottery or basically anything. No one had to meet people by getting thrown into their orbit and being unable to extricate themselves.

About half an hour into your resentful hammering on the keyboard, you were startled by your doorbell. For one sweet instant, you imagined that it was Aleister dropping by to pass some time with you. Then you realized that he never came to you without an invitation unless it was dead drunk in the middle of the night. Even when you invited him, it was only every fourth or fifth time that you asked that he agreed to come over and watch a movie or go for a walk in the nearby park. There was no way it was him at your door at eleven o’clock in the morning.

In fact, the person at your door was Bayley, chipper and warm as always, returning the spare laptop you’d lent her a few weeks before.

“Thank you so much,” she beamed, thrusting the computer into your hands. “You are a lifesaver. I’d have lost my goddamn mind if I hadn’t had this while mine was in the shop.”

“It was nothing,” you insist, smiling at her unconstrained warmth even though you didn’t feel very positive about your life at that moment. “Do you want to come in for a minute?”

She nodded cheerily and stepped across the foyer. You never really knew how you fit in with the women of WWE, even though you’d spoken to many of them in depth. Bayley stood out because she was determined to be your friend despite your introvert’s reluctance. And, indeed, she was irresistible. Much like her in-ring character, she cast sunshine wherever she went and her glow was contagious, even in your darkest and lowest moments.

You motioned her into the kitchen, offering her a choice of lemonade, iced tea or water. Her eyes immediately fell on the empty whiskey bottle you’d left on the counter, her expression growing more serious as she focused on it.

“Getting started early?” she cajoled.

“A friend left that here,” you replied guiltily.

She narrowed her dark eyes as she looked at you. Sweet and optimistic as she was, Bayley was not naïve. She knew exactly what friend had left the bottle behind and she knew how you felt about him.

“I’ll have a glass of lemonade,” she said, the smile slowly returning to her face.

You joined her and the two of you jokingly touched glasses before drinking.

“So, a few of us are getting together tonight,” she said hesitantly. “I thought you might like to join us.”

Your first instinct was to ask if Aleister would be there, but you thought better of it. Instead, you responded, “Well, I have an article I need to finish.”

Of course, your article was due by the end of the afternoon, which meant that your evening was free regardless, but part of you wanted to be at home in case Aleister came staggering over again.

Bayley’s jaw set in a determined expression you’d only seen from her in the ring. “We’re having a party for Roman, to celebrate him going into remission.”

Well now you felt like a bit of a bitch for making excuses and didn’t know what to say.

“It won’t just be wrestlers there. Some other journalists are even coming. And I know that it would mean a lot to him if you were there.”

When you’d done your article on the WWE, you’d interviewed Roman Reigns and he’d been incredibly generous with his time. He’d even contacted you after your interviews to confirm that you had all the detail you needed. He was the face of the company and had done everything possible to make sure that the company had provided what you required. He’d clearly wanted to make sure they’d left a good impression and you couldn’t help but be impressed by his PR skills. Although you knew it wasn’t true that it “would mean a lot to him”, you were touched by the idea that he remembered you and might like you to be there to celebrate his great news. At the same time… you needed to be there for Aleister.

“Look,” Bayley insisted, “I’m going to text you the details for the bar where we’ll be. It’s not a big deal, just a bunch of us getting together to be happy for our friend.”

There was no way that you could refuse that, so you shyly thanked her as she gulped the rest of her lemonade and made for the door.

“I’m serious,” she said as she departed. “You work so damn hard you deserve a night off. Finish what you’re doing and come have fun with us.”

As soon as she’d left, you once again sat down at your computer. Before you could return your attention to your work, however, you couldn’t resist checking Instagram.

Someone had tagged Aleister in a photo on Instagram.

Yes, you were that pathetic that you always checked.

With trepidation, you clicked the link to look at what was there. As it too often did, the notification came from an airbrushed-looking woman, her collagen-enhanced lips pressed against his. She looked arrogant and proud, while he looked smug and inebriated.

“Guess who I got to hang with last night?” the caption gloated.

You knew damn well what “hang” was a euphemism for. He never cared that the Barbie dolls he hooked up with advertised their conquest on social media. He was single and hot. Why should he care if people knew that he always scored with the sort of women other men lusted after? Why should he care that it ripped your heart to shreds every time you saw him with another woman so unlike you in every way?

The woman had posted a few other photos of the two of them together, embracing. Every part of her magazine-ready body was on display, save those parts that would have gotten her in trouble. Her artificially perfect breasts were spilling out of a tiny tube top while her endless legs were shown in their full glory between the edge of a skirt that likely required her to trim her pubic hair and the sky high heels that raised her enough to press her lips to his without having to stretch herself awkwardly. She was nothing like you, with your unkempt hair and loose, bohemian dresses, your comfortable ballet flats and blandly natural face. She had all the glamour that you lacked and he ate it up.

The images of the two of them cut into you like a laser and, for once, all you desired was to break free from the pain of feeling. A few minutes later, when Bayley sent the text she’d promised with the details of where you could find the party tonight, you immediately responded.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

To hell with Aleister and the designer women he adored, you told yourself as you returned to your article with a vengeance. Tonight you were going to do whatever it took to break the spell he had cast over you.

It was just after nine when you found yourself teetering to the entrance of the bar where the party was taking place. It was marked only by a subtle sign, no words, just a stylized anchor, and it was hidden away on a tiny street that was hardly more than an alley. In your fit of pique, you’d finished your article two hours before your deadline and then, having examined the options in your closet and found them wanting, headed out and spent entirely too much money on a new dress that clung perfectly to your breasts before flaring out to highlight the movements of your body, while covering just the bare minimum to maintain decency. You’d also picked up a stylish pair of ankle boots with heels higher than you were used to and that posed a legitimate threat as you made your way down the roughly paved road to the speakeasy-style bar.

A little further down the alley, you see a couple leaning against a car, taking turns swigging from a liquor bottle. The woman is one of those glamorous animals that makes you so insecure, laughing in drunken delight in a way that only confident people can. In one quick movement the man spins her around and bends her over the hood of the car. He immediately takes out his cock, stroking it a couple of times before he thrusts into her, one hand on her back while the other holds the bottle that he continues drinking from. And it’s a moment before you realize that it’s Aleister, fucking away at a woman whose name he won’t remember in a few hours.

The sight makes you want to curl up and die, makes you want to say that you’ve made a mistake and run along home so you can bawl your eyes out while you wait for his inevitable drunken arrival. But, if nothing else, the damage that you’ve done to your credit card in order to make yourself look just a bit more sexy and edgy than usual, as well as the glasses of wine you had already consumed to fortify your courage, push you forward. This is a test. In order to pass, you need to be able to ignore the man whose indifference is killing you and enter the world of others, where someone who wasn’t up to the standards of the rarified model girls might be willing to give you a second look.

Aleister doesn’t even glance up as you enter the bar a few feet away from him, can’t feel the dark weight of your eyes on him or the force with which you tear them away as you step through the door.

As soon as you do, you are once again frozen with the idea that you’ve made a mistake. When Bayley characterized this as a “get-together”, you’d assumed it meant a group of people spread out around a few tables chatting away and toasting Roman’s health. Instead, what greets you is a basement club full of people with a dance floor alive with writhing bodies. You recognize a few journalists but for the most part, the space is taken up with every WWE and NXT star you’ve ever heard of. It’s a convention of beautiful people and you can’t help but feel dowdy even in your overpriced finery.

You slowly descend the stairs, fully intending to look around, say hello to a few familiar faces and then bolt for the exit, but you’re immediately greeted by a familiar voice that fairly shrieks. “Oh my god woman, just look at you!”

It’s Sasha Banks, standing at the edge of the stairs with Bayley, who gives you an exaggerated round of applause.

“Miranda, you look amazing,” Sasha continues breathlessly. “Seriously, you’re putting everyone to shame.”

You don’t feel like you’re putting anyone to shame, least of all Sasha in her body suit that hugs every curve of her perfect little hourglass, but you blush at the compliment.

“Come on,” Bayley gushes, “we need shots to celebrate your hotness!”

She pulls both of you through the crowd to the bar and somehow is able to get the bartender’s attention almost immediately, ordering two rounds of tequila shots because, she tells you and Sasha, there’s no point in getting just one round when you know you’re going back for seconds. The three of you toast and toss down the shots and then immediately do so again and you have to admit that you’re feeling the warm glow already. Sasha, apparently feeling something herself, wraps her arms around you and once again reassures you that you are devastatingly beautiful.

Another shot is thrust into your hand, this time by Dash Wilder, who’s arrived with his Revival partner Scott Dawson. Wilder has always been attractive to you, so you give him as radiant a smile as you can manage and you swear he blushes a little just before he downs his shot. Dawson is hugging Sasha and Bayley close to him, allowing Dash to edge a little closer to you and you’re feeling a little high on yourself when another voice cuts through your circle.

“Miranda? Holy fuck I can’t believe you’re here!”

Roman Reigns pushes right through the bodies close to the bar and grabs you firmly by the shoulders, his eyes gradually focusing on yours. He’s grinning with an intensity that clearly comes from his being a little past feeling no pain but it doesn’t hamper the thrill it gives you when he wraps his arms around you and nearly crushes you in a hug.

“I mean, shit, I don’t think I’ve even talked to you since you did that interview,” he pouts. “Thank you so much for coming.”

You smile as another shot is pushed into your hand, biting your lip self-consciously. You down about half the shot before Roman grabs it from you and finishes it, breaking up with laughter. He signals the bartender for another round, keeping an arm around your back until the tray of shots arrives. You’re all toasting each other and you wonder why you ever questioned yourself for coming here because this is exactly what you needed.

“Come dance with me,” Roman chuckles, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards the dance floor. He’s clearly floating on a sea of drunken bliss, goofing around and happy to have someone to have fun with, someone he didn’t expect to be there. Even if you wanted to resist his offer, you couldn’t because, while he isn’t doing anything that might hurt you, his grip is strong enough and the rest of him powerful enough to compel you forward.

The two of you deliberately dance like complete nerds in high school, awkward movements and ironic posturing until you’re both laughing so hard you can barely stand. It’s then that you realize that you’ve become the focus of some attention; Roman goddamn Reigns, the face of the company, the locker room leader, the man who everyone has come to celebrate, is dancing with you. Most of the people here have no idea who you are but because you’re with Roman, you are somebody. Basking in the subtle attention and envy, you close your eyes and allow yourself to get lost in the music, swaying to the beat until you feel a large pair of hands on your hips.

You open your eyes to see Roman pulling you closer to him with a devilish grin before spinning you around and pulling your back against his massive chest. You continue to move but at a slower pace, your movements limited by how close he’s holding you and the sensual way in which his body moves against yours. Keeping one arm loosely around you, he lets his other hand fall against your thigh, lightly playing with the hem of your dress. It makes you gasp.

“You never responded to any of my texts,” he murmurs gruffly in your ear.

You remember at least half a dozen messages asking if he could clarify anything or if you needed any additional material for your article. You hadn’t needed anything else but you suddenly feel terribly rude for not answering.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “you were very professional and I should have at least told you that I had what I needed.”

His voice drops even lower as he speaks. “I didn’t mean to be professional about them. And I was hoping that you didn’t have everything you needed.”

He pulls you up and firmly against him and for the first time you can feel his hardening cock through his pants. You can’t help but thrust your hips into him, barely able to process what’s happening to you. The two of you are still ostensibly dancing, although it’s more like a rhythmic grinding to the music as he reaches down and pulls the hem of your dress up, rubbing your thigh and then your ass as he presses his lips into your neck. His hands are everywhere on you and you’re aware that your entire lower body is basically on display for anyone who cares to look but you don’t care because it feels like you’ve won the lottery. You moan at the feeling of his growing excitement against your flesh, both his large hands grazing up the front of your thighs and for a moment you think that you’re ready to beg him to take you right there when you’re violently spun away from your dance partner, a bruising grip on your arm.

It’s Aleister, eyes incandescent with rage as he tells Roman, “I need to speak to her for a minute.”

Roman looks confused and tries to speak to you but Aleister drags you away and a gaggle of women immediately descend on Roman, desperate to take your place.

Aleister flings you against the wall, glaring at you with an intensity that you’ve never seen outside the ring.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growls.

“I was dancing before you interfered,” you snap back at him, rubbing your arm.

“Dancing?” he repeats with derision. “That’s what you call that?”

“I was having fun.”

“What the hell are you wearing?”

For the first time since you saw him with his woman of choice outside, you feel ridiculous, like a girl trying to look glamorous by donning her mother’s clothes.

“I wanted something a little different.”

“A little?” he hisses back. “Do you realize what you look like? You’re all tarted up and letting some guy grab at you and get you half naked in front of a bar full of people.”

“What I look like?”

“Everyone could see practically your whole goddamned body. They could see what you were letting him do to you.”

“You mean to say I look like a whore.”

Aleister crosses his arms and glances away, refusing to confirm what you’ve said.

“So what, Aleister? So what if I’m letting a man touch me and show me that he wants me? Who cares who else sees? Maybe that’s what I want!”

“Are you so stupid that you think he wants you for anything other than a one night stand?”

The accusation stabs at your heart and your confidence but you’re determined not to let him see that.

“Again, so what? Maybe I’m happy to have this big, gorgeous man want me. Maybe I’m fine bringing him back to my place for a few hours of fun because at least it means someone is thinking of me as a sexual being for a change.” You pause, knowing the danger of what you’re about to say but unable to stop yourself. “Maybe I’d be fine if he just took me outside and fucked me over the hood of a car.”

For a second, you think that Aleister is going to strangle you. The look on his face is like the moment before the sky erupts in thunder and lightning. Truthfully, you expect that he’ll turn on his heel and walk away from you and never come back, and perhaps that’s what you need him to do so that you can get over him.

Instead, he grabs you, pinning you to the side of his body and pulling you towards the door. His movements make you stumble, and the more you try to resist him, the more ungainly you look.

“She’s dead drunk,” you hear him assure a few people, “I’m going to make sure she gets home.”

And while it’s true that you are drunk, you’re not nearly as drunk as he’s making you out to be. The second he has you outside, you try to twist away from him and go back, only for him to wind you closer, pulling you off balance so that you look even more inebriated.

You hear him whisper to Seth Rollins, who’s observing the spectacle through the corner of his eyes. “Look, tell Roman that she’s falling down drunk and I just had to get her home. No disrespect meant.”

Seth has a confused expression on his face but nods and tells him, “Sure thing.”

Realizing what Aleister is doing, you once again try to rush past him, but he blocks you, gripping your arm and pulling you after him so that you really do appear pathetically unable to take care of yourself.

“Why the fuck are you doing this to me?” you shout at him, figuring that there’s no reason to worry about who might hear you, there being no further you can sink in their estimation. “Why can’t you just let me enjoy myself?”

“Jesus, Miranda, you’re loaded. You can barely stand up.” He emphasizes this by jerking your arm forward, which almost causes you to keel over onto your face. “You’re just embarrassing yourself.”

“No,” you insist, pulling yourself to a halt. “I knew what I was doing. I knew what I wanted. Sure I’m a bit tipsy but-“

“You don’t want that,” Alesiter snaps, threading his arm through yours and continuing down the street. “You don’t just want to whore yourself out for a night because you think it might help your self-esteem.”

“You don’t get to decide what I want, Aleister.” You’re crushed against his side and he’s moving so quickly that your feet only graze the ground every third or fourth step. “Let me go. I’m sick of playing the surrogate mother for someone who’s incapable of seeing me as a real woman. I want to go back there. I want to have someone make a show of wanting me. I want to get fucked so hard I can’t walk tomorrow.”

Aleister shakes his head like a parent frustrated with a misbehaving child. “Stop it. You’re being ridiculous.”

“So let me be ridiculous!” you yell back, trying unsuccessfully to extricate yourself from his grip. “What the hell is it to you? Are you worried that for once I’m not going to be there when you need a place to collapse at four in the morning?”

The two of you reach the corner where the alley meets the street and he swings you to face him, glowering at you with a terrifying expression, gripping your biceps so hard you know you’ll be bruised in the morning. He says nothing but stares at you until he whips his arm out and hails a taxi seemingly out of nowhere.

He launches you, there’s no other word for it, into the back seat of the car and snarls your address to the driver as your tears start to fall. The cabbie is noticeably uncomfortable with your quiet whimpering and seems confused by the fact that Aleister does nothing to comfort or engage you. He sits with his arms folded, scowling, until you arrive at your building. Reflexively, you reach for your purse only to have Aleister swat your hand away and pay the driver himself. You try to keep pace as he yanks you towards the door, but stumble because of your unsure footing in these strange heels and because your vision is glazed by the tears you’re fighting to hold in.

When Aleister pins you against the door and rummages through your purse to find your keys, it somehow feels more invasive than Roman gripping your ass for an entire bar full of people to see. You feel, for a moment, that he is looking at you with tenderness. But when the door opens, he simply guides you through it. As you hear it click shut, the last of your strength, physical and emotional, gives out and you drop to your knees, finally allowing the tears to fall. It’s a full-on ugly cry, punctuated by guttural, anguished sounds you’d never allow anyone else to hear. Despite everything, you desperately want to hear the door open again behind you and to hear him say that he’s realized he loves you.

But no, in the end, he’s just found it gross that the woman he sees as his caregiver might have another side. He found you pathetic in your overpriced dress and shoes. He knew that you were desperately trying to act like something you could never be: like someone who could compete with the perfected Instagram beauties he fucks every night. You could never be that. He knew that you were just a sad little woman decked out in a gaudy outfit. You’d never be that sexy, desirable person who stopped men dead in their tracks, no matter what your dance with Roman had temporarily led you to believe.

You’re on your knees for what seems like hours, choking on tears and snot and trying to restrain yourself from howling. Just as the sound overpowers you and a low wail escapes your lips, you’re startled by a pair of arms, familiar, tattooed arms wrapping around your waist from behind.

“Shh. There’s no need for any of that,” he grunts into your hair.

And while you’re shocked and thrilled that he actually stayed behind to make sure that you were ok, it’s also even more humiliating that he’s seen you fall apart so spectacularly. Your body feels limp with defeat and unable to react at all as he gathers you up and carries you into your bedroom, setting you gently on the edge of the bed. He rests his hand on yours for a moment and you’re able to stem the flow of tears until he stands up and heads back towards the door. This time, you’re determined to hold in the worst of your misery until you’re sure he’s gone, even though you can’t stop the tears from running down your face.

But after a few minutes of straining to hear the door close, you see Aleister return, a damp washcloth in hand, and he sits once again beside you on the edge of the bed. He presses the cloth, cool and soothing, against your cheeks and then holds your chin as he delicately wipes it across your face. It takes you some minutes to realize that he’s removing your smeared makeup, cleaning you off so that you look good as new, so that you look more like the plain girl who lets him into her home in the middle of the night, his touch filled with a tenderness that you never imagined him capable of. When he’s satisfied with his work, he tosses the cloth aside and wraps an arm around you, pulling you close against him. The sweetness of his friendly gesture makes you want to cry all over again but you choke it back, knowing that you’ll have plenty of time for that when he’s gone.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he whispers, the sound of his voice making you feel weak.

You nod and roughly pull back from him, unsure of your ability to stop yourself from throwing yourself at him and begging him to wreck you. You fumble with the zipper of your boots until Aleister slides off the bed and onto his knees and removes it for you. He glides his hand along your calf, up to your thigh and then moves to your other boot. As he slides it off, he presses his head against the side of your knee, giving the skin a light kiss before rocking back on his haunches. You know he’s being gentle with you because he feels sorry for you. He finds you pitiful, which is even worse than finding you asexual.

The feelings are too much for you to take and all you can think of is that you want to get into bed where you’ll be safe and where you can sleep off the nightmare your evening out has become. You clumsily shed your dress, stockings, bra and panties without thinking much of the fact that you have an audience. Why should it bother him seeing you naked, after all? Normally, you put on some nightclothes but you don’t even have the strength to bother. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see that Aleister has turned his head towards the door. He’s embarrassed for you, the way you would be if a parent or sibling was undressing around you.

You crawl under the covers with a grumbled “good night” and immediately start to feel yourself drift off. You’re jolted back to wakefulness when Aleister climbs in beside you. In all the time you’ve known him, as many nights as he’s come and collapsed on your sofa, you don’t think he’s ever seen your bedroom. Now, having seen it, he’s apparently happy not to leave it, indulging in the comfort of your bed without even asking permission. It makes you a little self-conscious that you’re nude but it’s hardly the most humiliating thing to happen to you tonight, so you let yourself ignore it. If you can just fall asleep, this night will be over and you can begin the process of trying to forget it.

It’s only a matter of seconds, though, until you feel his body pressed against yours from behind, one hand coming to rest flat on your stomach and pushing you back against him so that you are acutely aware that you are not the only person naked in the bed. The hand on your stomach flutters downward until his fingers are moving lightly over your pussy, like he’s plucking the strings of a harp. His other arm wraps around your shoulders and keeps you flush against him, close enough that you can’t mistake the feeling of his erection against your back.

He presses his lips and tongue against your neck, making you whimper as you try to keep your heart rate stable. Your little noises seem to motivate him further, his touch becoming more insistent and one of his legs snaking over yours, pulling it back to give his hand greater access.

“Such a little fool,” he murmurs, his fingers stroking insistently along your fleshy folds. “Thinking I don’t see you as a sexual being.”

He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, making you cry out- more from the shock than the pain. His mouth continues to move around your neck and shoulders, nipping and sucking on the skin there, his grip on you tightening until it’s nearly painful.

“What are you doing?” you manage to ask.

“Leaving marks,” he says matter-of-factly.

You’re at a loss for what to say, but are saved from having to answer as he pushes two fingers inside you, his thumb rubbing slow circles over your clit. You’re embarrassed that he must have felt how wet you were just from being in his presence but he says nothing, quickening his pace and giving satisfied little growls when his touch elicits gasps and cries of pleasure from you.

It’s pity, you remind yourself; what he’s doing to you, he’s doing it because he feels sorry for you and because he’s drunk and horny despite his encounter earlier in the evening. But the thought gets whisked away as he brings you closer and closer to what you’ve desperately needed from him for so long. You let out a little shriek when he removes his hand, unable to believe he’s so cruel as to bring you to the precipice and then deny you. But he simply flips you onto your back before pressing his fingers inside you once more, watching your reactions to be sure he’s hitting just the right spot before burying his face between your legs. His tongue, lips and fingers work together like an orchestra. Your knuckles are white from the force of clenching on the sheets and you’re biting down so hard on your lip to muffle the sounds you’re making that you’re worried your teeth will end up permanently embedded. He unexpectedly raises his head and stills the movement of his hand inside you and the shock is almost enough to make you start crying again. You look down at him, his eyes sparkling in the low light with an expression you can’t read.

“Why won’t you let me hear you?”

Because you don’t want him to know how good his merciful little gesture is making you feel. Because you don’t want to admit to yourself that it’s better than you’d imagined. Truthfully, whenever you’ve thought about the mechanics of sex with Aleister, you imagined that it would be fast and rough and hedonistic, much like his other sexual encounters seem to be. But he’s chosen this moment to take his time, to focus on his partner, rather than go for a quick, dirty fuck in a darkened corner.

You don’t tell him any of this, instead croaking out, “I’m shy.”

He raises himself up and over your body with the effortless grace of a serpent, pressing his head close to yours and kissing along your jawline.

“What do I have to do to make you not be shy?”

“I don’t know… I just… am.” You wriggle a little under him, turning your face away when he looks directly into your eyes.

He cups your face in one hand and runs the other, still wet with your juices, over your breast, teasing the nipple and making you shudder involuntarily.

“Am I moving too fast?”

You shake your head, not quite trusting your voice.

“Is there something that you’d enjoy more? Something you want me to do for you?”

You give him another little shake of the head.

“You don’t have to be shy with me. Whatever you want, I want you to tell me so I can give it to you. Anything.”

For the first time, he kisses you on the lips, his tongue, that still tastes of you, slides against yours and the hand at the side of your face slides to hold your neck, cradling your head so that you don’t have to tense any muscles to stay in that position. Your body has nothing it needs to do but experience the sensations he’s creating. Of course, you still answer his kiss, hungrily flashing your tongue against his, reveling in the light scrape of his lip ring against your lips. His hand glides back down between your legs, and even the proximity is enough to draw a couple of little mewls of pleasure. You feel him smile a little against your lips at the noises and he pulls away from the kiss.

“Am I making you feel good?”

You nod as he starts to work his fingers around your entrance once again.

“Do you want my mouth down there again?”

You nod even more vigorously than the first time but he shakes his head.

“Tell me. Say it out loud.”

You open your mouth to do so and he immediately thrusts his long fingers into your g-spot and your clit at once, making you yelp in pleasure. It’s almost enough to make you cum on its own but he eases the pressure before you reach that peak.

“Yes?” he asks again.

“Yes, fuck, yes!”

“Then let me hear you. Please.”

He returns his attention to your core and has you making all manner of unholy noises in short order. He expertly teases you and then holds back, so many times that when he does finally take you over the edge, you feel like you might pass out from the intensity of it. Your gasps for breath sound cavernous in the quiet room.

He keeps the palm of his hand firmly against you as he leans forward and presses his lips into your neck, letting out a satisfied purr every time an aftershock rolls through your body.

When he’s satisfied that you’ve fully come down, he raises himself up on his arms, giving just the hint of a smile when you grab onto his biceps to steady yourself.

He’s so rigid that he doesn’t even need a hand to guide himself into you. He simply presses forward in one slow but sure moment, his eyes closed as if it’s a kind of religious experience, not opening them until he’s fully seated inside you. It’s been long enough since you’ve been with anyone that the feeling of being stretched draws a little whimper from your throat. He remains still, his eyes open and bearing down on you with a delirious kind of excitement, aching prick twitching inside you, desperate to proceed but waiting for a signal that he can.

And it’s at that moment that you allow yourself to think that this isn’t pity or a drunken mistake, that he’s as hungry for you as you have been for him and that what’s happened tonight has just served to connect a circuit. The fiercely possessive look in his eyes as he watches you, the fury when he thought someone else was claiming you, the need to mark you to make you his, the flush of pure lust on his face and chest… it is just a little frightening, something you suspected was in him but never that it was focused on you. But you’ve always known you could handle his darkness if he let you in. So you thrust your hips a little and wrap your legs loosely around his waist to show him that he can continue. Just as he starts to move, he cups your face and presses his mouth to your ear.

“You deserve so much better.”

“Stop trying to make those decisions for me,” you moan, feeling your insides flutter with his movements.

“I’ve never felt anything like that jealousy.” He’s staring into your eyes as he confesses. He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder pressing deeper inside you and gasping at the feeling. “Knowing that everyone could see how sexy and beautiful you are… And I’m an idiot for waiting for that to happen before I did anything, I just…”

He grimaces and slows his pace a little, obviously trying to prolong the sensation.

“You mean it?” You have to ask because you still can’t quite believe that this has been on his mind for all this time when he’s shown no sign of it to you.

“God yes,” he answers through gritted teeth, once again allowing himself to move faster and more urgently.

You can’t completely banish your fears that he’s going to regret this in the morning and just shut you out again but every second with him is pushing them further away. You lace your fingers through his hair, nipping at the shell of his ear as he lets out his own stream of desperate, lusty noises, running your nails gently down his back as he approaches his crescendo.

His head drops to your chest and he cries out as he releases inside you.

“Fuck I love you, fuck I love you, fuck I love you.” He repeats it like a mantra that brings him back down from his high, saying it a final time as he looks into your eyes.

Slowly, he rolls onto his side, gathering you close to him like he thinks an errant breeze might carry you away.

“I have…” he begins quietly, “… there’s a lot that goes on in my head… Bad things, I guess. I thought you’d run away. Or that I’d pull you down with me. I still don’t know that won’t happen.”

He looks so vulnerable that it makes your heart hurt but at the same time you have to stifle a smile.

“Well I’d rather you let me try to deal with it. I’m a lot tougher than you give me credit for being.”

His expression grows a little guilty and he nods. He wraps his arms tighter around you and you do the same until the two of you are lying in your bed, wound around each other.

#aleister black fanfic #aleister black fan fiction #aleister black imagine #tommy end imagine #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #wayward wrestle writing #wrestling imagine #wrestling fanfiction

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

#YGO #yugioh #yu gi oh #Yuugi Muto #Jounouchi #Honda #Anzu #Miho #yo yo gang #Hirotani #Yuugi and the gang do serious property damage

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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WELL. Episode 3 of Word of Honor.

First of all: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the ENTIRE SHOW. A lot of them, actually. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled.

So, this ep feels a little disjointed. I don’t think it actually is, not in the way the back nine are a speedrun where the writing starts to feel like it’s thisclose to coming off the rails, but it feels like it, in that we’re now getting a double handful of threads thrust at us that are only just starting to be woven together into a plot, and it’s the kind of hot mess that any fiberwork looks like before the pattern starts to show itself, particularly when you’re using 15 different color threads from jump. There’s generally a major theme or issue or overriding concept that stands out to me in each ep that, you may have noticed, gets primacy of place in these reactions, but honestly, y’all, I really struggled to figure out what that might be for this episode, because a lot of this, on re-watch, strikes me as groundwork for later developments. Wen Kexing gives us an “as you know, Bob” speech about the Amory and the Glazed Armor, we meet approx. 3.2K new characters, and I feel sort of like I should start keeping a chart of who’s supposed to have a piece of the Glazed Armor and who actually does have a piece of the Glazed Armor, but it’s already so confusing that it might be too late.*

ANYWAY, on re-watch, I can absolutely see the value of spending Eps 1 & 2 on introducing us to Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing and getting us pulled into their orbit, because then we have scenes we’re already invested in to maintain our interest as the background politics begin to frustratingly play out with a bunch of people we don’t know or have any investment in yet. I mean, y’all. I forgot just what an ill-tempered gremlin ZZS was in these early eps. He is so fk’n put out that these people will not let him drink himself to death in the gutter in peace! Or, you know, in occasional Nightly Nails Torment. And the exasperation from both ZZS and Chengling over WKX’s antics – both of their faces are priceless in the scene when they discover he’s the one who’s bought out all the rooms at the inn. I literally lol’d. Again. Even knowing it was coming. All of this interaction is so delightful. This is actually the ep that provoked my very first WoH keysmash flailing Tumblr post and inaugurated the “wen kexing’s thirst is practically a third character” tag. I guess the biggest throughline for this ep is that we can continue to see how everything changes when we know about their previous relationship – things like WKX’s insistence that they have a “deep bond through fate” take on additional layers of meaning rather than just sounding like some dude who’s trying to pick you up at last call. Interesting that ZZS describes WKX at one point during their push-pull conversational dance as “like a wretched soul that keeps haunting around.” You mean, like a GHOST? Like a Ghost Valley ghost? Like the almost forgotten memory of a past life ghost? ZZS wants to know why WKX keeps following him around, and it would be nice if WKX would just come clean, but that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?

ZZS, re: Chengling: I do my best to ensure what was entrusted to me.

WKX: :makes (already! in ep 3!) yet another in a series of bad decisions not to say anything about the fact that he, himself, was in fact entrusted to ZZS:

Show: Here’s the first of many helpings of heartache to come. EAT IT. EAT IT ALL.

(Me: Well, here’s another AU idea: What would the course of this relationship be like if WKX flat-out asked ZZS what ZZS’s relationship to Four Seasons Manor was, and bare-faced claimed sanctuary as long-lost shidi Zhen Yan at this point? Because I bet there are plenty of ways that could actually go wrong. Not to mention the deliciousness of just watching them navigate a relationship shift that sudden. I feel like, at this point, WKX would have to be actively confrontational about it, would have to throw it in ZZS’s face – it would need to be something he did in the heat of anger, in order to have this pushed out past all of his fears. Like, you say that, but where were you when I needed you? Also, you think so, well what if your responsibility actually turned out to be the TERRIFYING GHOST VALLEY MASTER, what then, huh? And ZZS, still pretty actively suicidal over all of his failures, having to deal with what’s now being presented as YET ANOTHER FAILURE.)

Also, the theme of “knowing” (zhiji, the one I know) is starting to slide in sideways – we’re seeing a lot of back and forth between them asking about seeing the other’s “true face.” WKX says that he’ll tell ZZS what he (WKX) wants from him once he gets to see ZZS’s true face (LIES, it’s going to take a lot longer than that). ZZS asks to see WKX’s figurative true face, and WKX looks kind of sad and contemplative as he warns that it may be unappealing or terrifying. So, you know, we’re starting to poke at all the softest, most tender places and the issues that are going to stab me repeatedly in the heart for the rest of the show. We’re also already seeing the way Xiao Chu just layered in references throughout the script when she wrote it that call back to each other – it’s like almost any line of dialogue references three other lines of dialogue (and that’s without even getting into all of the literary references that I’m missing because I don’t have cultural context). You get things like WKX’s little speech right at the end that it’s hard to tell a ghost from a human, which on its face might be referring to the two “ghosts” that were coming for Chengling that he took care of and act as an admonishment to ZZS not to be so quick to assume they’re actually from Ghost Valley, but it also refers to WKX, himself, and specifically lays the groundwork (“someone wearing a ghost mask is not necessarily a ghost”) for his conversation in a later ep with ZZS when he asks if ZZS thinks he’s a good person, and also calls back (“someone who looks human may not be human”) to the line from earlier in this ep, itself, when WKX tells ZZS that perhaps WKX’s true face is terrifying. And so we get a nicely little wrapped package of the dichotomy of WKX and his issues. (As a somewhat related aside, A-Xiang’s little face when Zhou Zishu says all of the ghosts of Ghost Valley are full of evil (at 6:55). D: This reaction is obviously for herself, but also may be the first time she acts as proxy for Wen Kexing, as well.)

What else, what else?

So, nobody has a good opinion of the jianghu. WKX is going to be constantly all, “You killed my father, jianghu, prepare to die,” but ZZS also goes off about how it’s just about greed, hatred and ignorance, and yeah, I guess he’d have a pretty bad impression of it, when Prince Jin and Tian Chuang seemed like a better option than the pressure he was facing, trying to keep Siji Manor Sect alive back in the day. We talk a lot about WKX’s childhood trauma, because it’s so awful and right in our faces, but I don’t know how much we actually talk about the fact that ZZS was a teenager not much older than Chengling when he inherited a sect and tried desperately to keep it from being torn apart by the rest of the jianghu. I think we see some bitterness come out in the first few episodes – frankly, in this ep, he doesn’t seem to make much of a distinction between Ghost Valley and the rest of the jianghu. Also interesting that the metaphor he uses about the jianghu’s and Ghost Valley’s greed for the treasures of the Armory is “reaping without sowing,” given what we find out is actually in there in Ep 36.

We see our metaphor of light get pulled out again – this throughline strikes me as more like beads on a string than a thread, at this point, but maybe I’ll notice it more on this second time through … Anyway, WKX’s comment at 9:11 that it’s almost dawn is notable. Indeed, but is it because your plan is beginning to work and you can see the destruction of Ghost Valley and the jianghu coming down the pike, or is it because you’ve found your shixiong?

I notice WKX has color-coordinated ZZS and Chengling in the robes he bought for them, has already grouped them together, marked them as belonging to each other – he’s already subtly treating them as each other’s family. The show, with a particular lack of subtlety, also will have ZZS there to wake up Chengling from nightmares later in the end of the ep, as Chengling calls out for his dad in his sleep.

OK, Deng Kuan is the guy in charge of the Yueyang sect contingent that arrived in time to see the Mirror Lake chaos in Ep 2 and has taken charge of cleaning up the bodies in this ep. I actually overlooked him, pretty much, the first time around, but here, he’s already got Shen Shen yelling at him (in a completely ridiculous fashion) for not getting there in time to save the Mirror Lake Sect, so he’s just going to be a punching bag through the whole show, apparently. Shen Shen is wu-di, fifth (little) brother, and he refers to Chengling’s dad as si-ge, fourth (older) brother, so Shen Shen appears to be the youngest of the Five Lakes sworn brothers, leading me to believe that some of what makes him so insufferable through a lot of the show is baby brother syndrome. Also, Shen Shen and his group find the Soul Winding Threads of the Hanged Ghost … supposedly. I mean, the Hanged Ghost was the guy who we saw get got in Ep 1, soooooo …. (remember these Soul Winding Threads, btw).

*This got super long so I’m’a put this last bit under a cut, but I did try to start a running tally of who’s holding a piece of the Glazed Armor:

Each of the Five Lakes Alliance sects is supposed to have a piece of the Glazed Armor, yes? So, as of the end of Ep 3 (hierarchical bro-titles are from didi Shen Shen’s POV):

- Yueyang Sect, led by Gao Chong (da-ge) - presumably still has his

- Tai Hu Sect, led by Zhao Jing (er-ge) – presumably still has his

- Danyang Sect, led by Lu Taichong (san-ge, presumably) – apparently the sect has already been attacked off-screen (by “Ghost Valley?” and WHEN?), as we learn in Ep 3 that Lu-zongzhu has been killed and his remaining two tiny disciples have fled to the protection of Ao Laizi and Tai Shan Sect, one of the lesser sects, and are believed to have taken Danyang’s Glazed Armor with them. We learn this from Tao Hong, Lv Liu and Begger Gang Chief, but I notice that Gao Chong only mentions the Mirror Lake massacre as the precipitating event for the Hero’s Conference and total war on Ghost Valley – he doesn’t even mention Danyang Sect, so does Five Lakes not know about this yet?

- Mirror Lake Sect, led by Zhang Yusen (si-ge) – Zhang-zongzhu killed by “Ghost Valley” in Ep 2, Glazed Armor “missing” and speculated POST EP 2 to have been taken by Ghost Valley (but will turn up in a few eps, thanks to our little Goldbean)

- Dagu Shan Sect, led by Shen Shen (wu-di) – presumably still has his

And then we move to:

- Tai Shan Sect, led by Ao Laizi – in-world speculation is that he now has the Danyang Glazed Armor. We do see him near the end of the ep with the two tiny Danyang shidi, where he makes the intriguing comment that he’s going to follow their shifu’s last wishes and keep their Glazed Armor from falling into the hands of the Five Lakes Alliance, so what exactly was going on between San-ge and his sworn brothers at the time of his death? This group also is apparently being pursued by Shen Shen to get their Glazed Armor, and they make him sound awful. You need better PR, Shen Shen.

- Ghost Valley – POST EP 2, speculated to have taken the Mirror Lake Glazed Armor (FALSE)

NOTABLY, “Ghost Valley Master” set a lot of this chaos in motion in Ep 1 when he claimed that Hanged Ghost (who got got a scene earlier) had stolen HIS piece of the Glazed Armor, although he shouldn’t have a piece (supposedly) until after Ep 2, when he’s believed to have taken Mirror Lake’s. So, what piece would that be, exactly, Terrifying Ghost Valley Master? You wouldn’t be lying in pursuit of chaos would you? (Somewhere, WKX gasps theatrically behind his fan, and he doesn’t even know what motivated it, this time.)

#zhou zishu #wen kexing #gu xiang #zhang chengling #shen shen #deng kuan #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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starkerintheparker · 4 years

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starker reclist - AUs

Hey guys! Welcome to the second part of my personal Starker reclist, dedicated to AUs. Last week I posted my canon-based recs, you can find them here.

I tried to incorporate as many tropes as I could, hoping everyone will find something special within their interests. There are a few a/b/o and underage fics, all properly tagged in case anyone wishes to avoid them. I also tried to highlight soulmate AUs because I reckon it’s a somewhat popular trope. Enjoy! ❤️

Last updated: April 25th, 2020. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 007 AU by @darker-soft-starker (T, 4k, completed)

Summary: Undercover and bored at an art auction, Tony finds entertainment in Peter Parker.

Review: Look, I’m a simple woman. Daniel Craig has owned my ass ever since Casino Royale and I was reading 00Q and Hartwin before I even shipped Starker. Point is, I like spy movies, ok?! So naturally I couldn’t leave this fic out of my reclist. I you need further incentive, consider this quote: “What, a little late night espionage not romantic enough for you?” Peter retorts, whipping a pistol out from his jacket and aiming it at Tony’s chest.

• 3 Times I Told You I Loved You & 1 Time You Said It Back by @starkeristheendgame (E) background Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Scott

Summary: Peter Parker confesses his love to Tony Stark three times. Once at ten, once at fifteen and once at twenty. Finally convinced that Tony will never love him back, Peter ventures out into a different path, desperate to find the love he seeks from someone else. But you know what they say about star-crossed lovers.

Review: This lovely fic holds a very special place in my heart. I’m so invested I decided to wait until it’s finished so I can read it all in one sitting. Peter’s longing and heartbreak hurt my poor soul but I trust Jensen to give me that promised Starker endgame - I know it will be glorious when it finally comes.

• A Night on the Town by @scarletmanuka1 (G, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Nightclub AU. Years after the events of Endgame, Tony has hit rock bottom. The Snap left him crippled, Pepper has abandoned him and has taken Morgan with her, and he's feeling old and lonely. Peter arranges a night out at the nightclub that he works at to try and cheer Tony up.

Review: I love get together fics, especially if it involves oblivious!Tony getting his shit together and going after his man. Seeing him bitter and broken after Thanos was hard, but special kudos to IronBros moments because that friendship is true goals!

• Age of Adeline by @starkerforlife6969 (completed) background Harley/Peter, Bucky/Peter, Wade/Peter

Review: I’d never in a million years think about this movie as a Starker AU but gosh, this is everything I needed in my life and it completely devastated me but I loved every minute of it. As a devoted monoshipper, I was surprised to realize that I got emotionally involved with all pairings, even more so with Starker, which totally paid off. Gorgeous, powerful and heartfelt. God bless SFL.

• assume makes ass for u and me by @pretty-well-funded (M, 1.6k, completed) tw underage

Summary: In Tony’s defense, he was sure the kid was a rent boy.

Review: This 1.6k fic caught me completely off guard and now I’m crying because I need MORE. I love the premise, the dialogue is criminally good, their voices are amazing and I can’t get enough of cheeky!Peter charming Tony with his wit and filthy mind.

• Bamf!secretary Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Who could ever resist some corporate espionage drama with bamf!Peter leaving Tony speechless and horny? Not me. I’d read more 30k of this verse because competent, sassy Peter Parker is such a kink, omg.

• Biker!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Review: Same age AUs are not usually my thing but I can’t resist cute high school sweethearts written by this fandom goddess. Plus, protective!Tony calling Peter “doll” does things to my heart - and Peter’s.

• Breaking Character by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

Review: The spy trope seriously needs more fic like this one, because I’ll have bamf!Peter lying back to save his country while Tony freaks out any day. Cage hits the perfect balance between plot building, fantastic sexual tension, clever dialogue and the hottest smut sequence. What a ride! (Pun intended).

• Curiosity Killed the Cat by @areluctantsblog (T, 1.5k, completed)

Summary: Peter has been modelling in an art school for years. He's used to strangers' eyes roaming his body - clothed or naked - and he knows that it's not him they are looking at. Not him who they are interested in. He's just a model, a tool for their work. And for a long time he doesn't notice the one pair of eyes that, despite seeing him but rarely, is looking right at him.

Review: Very soft and atmospheric, this fic left me in a bit of a daze and it took me a while to realize it was over. Great writing will do that to you.

• Detective!Tony, Graffiti Artist!Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Oh don’t mind me, just appreciating this author’s talent at writing from the filthiest smut to the softest “Tony saves Peter in all ways that matter” like this ficlet. We stan.

• Eat at Pete’s by feyrelay + glorious art by @peachbabypie (E)

Summary: Peter gives him an unimpressed look, “If you didn’t do your work, then you wouldn’t be able to earn my time though, would you?” Pfft. “Kid, I have more money than god. I can splurge on your delicious pancakes and attention, trust me,” Tony informs him loftily. Peter smiles that wicked, crooked little smile that's just for him. It's not even and perfect like his the-customer-is-always-right one that's more frequently on offer. “I didn’t say you couldn’t afford it. I said you wouldn’t have earned it.”

Review: How can we ever say no to dom!Peter putting Tony in his place and hopefully on his dick + Tony loving every second of it?? Their dynamics are fantastic and that TASTY COUNTER DIALOGUE KILLS ME. EVERY TIME. Check it out and come scream with me: sub!Tony rights :D

• Fire and Ice by LeafyGreenQueen773 (M, 3k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: AU where when someone writes on his or her skin, the same thing shows up on their soulmate in the same place as a Mark that fades away in a few hours.

Review: This was the first Starker soulmate fic I’ve read and it made my heart ache so soft and good. Lovely and bittersweet, quiet and painfully honest.

• Genius, Acrobat, Playboy, Philanthropist by @scarletmanuka1 (E, 28k, completed)

Summary: After Peter's aeriel acrobatics partner, Adrian Toomes is fired from The Avengers Circus Troupe for theft, he is shocked to discover that his replacement is non other than legendary performer, Tony Stark - the man that Peter had hero worshipped since he first learned how to tumble.

Review: After reading this fic I realized I need more Circus AUs in my life. I could read jealous idiots falling in love while doing beautiful acrobatics for the rest of my days. Original plot, nice character development and I really appreciated how the author inserted little canon things here and there.

• Happy to Disappoint by @deaded-blush (M, 60k, completed) tw underage, domestic violence

Summary: Adrian Toomes is in quite deep with notorious mob boss Tony Stark. But when Tony comes to collect the debt owed, he's surprised to discover Toomes has an adoptive son. The chance meeting changes the direction of both their lives...

Review: Hands down one of the best Mafia!AUs I’ve ever seen. Read it all in one sitting and by the end I was SHOOKETH and utterly obsessed with this story. Nothing about it is okay so brace yourself for whump!Peter and lots of h/c. Bonus points for an incredibly satisfying ending that will make you gasp out loud.

• Hey Baby, Slip between my Beta-Pleats and get to know my Alpha-Helix? by @starkerforlife6969 and @darker-soft-starker (E, 37k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: Even though Tony can't tell the difference between Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, Peter really has no other choice. His heat is around the corner, so even though he loathes the party-going, booze drinking, smug playboy know-it-all that is Tony Stark. He'll just have to do.

Review: I can’t believe life went on as we know it (or did it??) after these two geniuses wrote together. This is the Starker version of “enemies to lovers” we all wanted and deserve, where spoiled-bratty-posh princess Peter finds the perfect balance for his chaotic energy in goofy-unapologetic-charming playboy Tony. Their falling in love is just so tender, so genuine and so good, it’s impossible not to cheer for these two sweethearts through this delightful, carefully crafted story.

• If you let me by @css1992 (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Peter had tried dating younger guys, but it just didn’t do it for him. They were often too eager, too fast, too rough. Just too young, in general. Not that older men couldn’t be too much, too, Peter learned it the hard way. The man looking back at him from across the room seemed like a good one. He knew he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but he was gorgeous. Possibly the most handsome man Peter had ever seen in his short life.

Review: I remember the first time I read this fic it hit me in such a powerful way I cried a bit and was too overwhelmed to do words and tell the author just how much I loved it. But I never forgot this fic or the way it made me feel. It’s so evocative, so sexy, so raw, so heartbreaking, so sweet and so gentle. Great atmosphere, even greater characterization and some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read. Treat yourself and check this out right now.

• I’ll be Home by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary: The story starts when Soldier Tony comes home for a few days, and is introduced to the love of his life.

Review: Will I ever stop reccing SFL’s works? Maybe, but today is not the day. This gorgeous, breathtaking fic attacked me in my own house during Christmas day and made me cry like a baby. I’m a sucker for reunion stories - the longing, the heartbreak, the power of endurance. This fic reminded me that no matter how long or difficult the journey, love will always find a way.

• Little Spider by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker is one of the country's best hitmen, known in the underworld as the Little Spider. He spends his days in the lap of luxury with his billionaire fiance Tony Stark, and his nights doing dirty work for various shady characters. Life is good, right up until someone puts out a hit on Tony and wants Peter to pull the trigger. It... might be time for them to have a talk.

Review: Omg this fic was so deliciously good in a totally surprising and sexy way. Bamf!Peter took my breath away with the perfect balance between his two personas. Tony getting off on that sheer power and confidence is a BIG MOOD and my second favorite thing in this fic. The first being the badass power couple they make.

• love somebody like you (E) by @intoxicatelou

Summary: five times Tony was Peter’s roommate and one time he was his soulmate instead.

Review: Who doesn’t love some forced proximity mixed with the unbeatable soulmate trope? This plot is the hottest take and my heart cannot handle young!Tony with his brilliant mind and sassy charm protecting and flirting with Peter, unfff feels everywhere *cries in Starker*

• Love Thy Neighbour by @darker-soft-starker (T, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony's new neighbour is kinda weird.

Review: I know I keep saying that same age!AUs are not really my thing but I’m the softest bitch for feel-good, cozy domesticity, and I love how this charming story shows that ordinary life become magical when shared with someone special. I could babble all night about how eccentric and confident Peter seduces our man of science that for once has absolutely no idea of what’s going on - but you really should see it for yourself right now :)

• Mafia Boss!Tony Break Up Make Up by @starkerforlife6969 (E, completed)

Review: Man, this fic was so rude to my heart. The heartbreak, the rough sex, the guilt, the hopeful make up, the gorgeous ending. My body literally cannot take the stress, why are Mafia AUs so doomed and beautiful and more importantly, why is SFL so good at writing them???

• Microcosm Series by @bloomblood (M, 32k) tw underage

Summary: Tony and Peter become each other’s heroes after the Snap, saving themselves before they offer aid back to the world.

Review: I haven’t read many post-apocalyptic fics but this series’s raw atmosphere sucked me in. I adore the quiet intimacy, the slow and tentative healing, and all the silent and complex emotions underneath apparent simplicity. Big aesthetic mood, just as its lovely author.

• Musechaser by @nightskygardenia (M, 10.5k, completed)

Summary: Eighteen year old art student Peter Parker is desperately searching for his muse, someone who can bring his creative skills to the next level through inspiration. Lucky for him, his next class just so happens to feature a gorgeous model by the name of Tony Stark, a man Peter's convinced is his muse, to the point of staying after class to ask for private modeling sessions.

Review: Another big aesthetic mood, this fic paints a gorgeous imagery. I love the setting, the slow pace and the building anticipation until the sexual tension finally breaks. Peter is adorable and Tony exudes confidence; their voices are spot on and their chemistry is palpable and intense.

• My Best Friend’s Dad by @darker-soft-starker (M, 17.6k, completed)

Summary: Peter is home for the summer, back from his first year away at college. Having stayed over at Harley's house every weekend since they were fourteen, he never used to think much of his friend’s dad. A few years worth of college experience has Peter noticing Tony in a different way. This time, Tony notices him back.

Review: Turns out that Tony Stark being a dad and a daddy is too much for my body. I worship this fic. I wanna get married to it and have its babies. No words will ever make it justice *sobs* no but seriously, secret relationship is a perfect Starker trope and this one will take you to the edge of your seat until the very end. A+ characterization, lovely build up, infuriating cliffhangers and the wholesome happy ending we all deserve. This is the kind of fic that leaves you a bit depressed once it’s over, because you suddenly realize you’ll never read it for the first time ever again. So get to it and make sure to enjoy every second!

• One Call Away by @readysetstarker (E)

Summary: Tony didn’t need the phone sex gig. He was more than well off, his own sex life was in great shape, but damn, there was just something about listening to someone else get off to his voice.

Review: Omg who could ever resist sex hotline + daddy kink + identity porn? Dev is coming after our own hearts and bodies with this hot combo. I love the balance between their cute chemistry and the hot phone sex, plus the identity porn is deliciously fun. I was so happy to know this fic is getting longer than the author had previously anticipated because I’m definitely not ready to let it go.

• Open Road by @starkerflowers (E, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: It’s not love, but it’s good. TW: implied abuse (not between Tony/Peter); bruises/violence; panic attack.

Review: This refreshing not-quite-a-love-story will capture your heart, make it hurt, make it ache, make it hope and finally, make it heal. This fic is so gorgeously written I honestly cannot rec it enough. Yes, it’s dark and angsty, but it’s also gentle, hopeful and deeply evocative.

• Panty Raid by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary: Imagine Tony being forced to do a panty raid as an initiation for his fraternity. So Tony, keeping up his playboy appearances, sneaks into the omega dorms. And he sees sweet innocent Peter who is so alarmed by the alphas raiding their dorm Tony can’t help but comfort him.

Review: Unf this fic is just too charming and cute, my heart cannot take it. Frat stories are so fun they make me forget my preference for age gaps and realize I could read more 50k of protective young!Tony any day, please and thank

• Pete’s Eats by @darker-soft-starker (T, 9.3k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a YouTube channel where he just drinks wine and teaches people how to cook things if they live in a mediocre apartment. While cooking and drinking he just talks about stuff like memes and school and, most importantly, his undying thirst for Tony Stark.

Review: This is legit the funniest shit I’ve ever read, everybody else can go home. I was already sold on Peter being a relatable thirsty dork, but Tony’s A+++ characterization (for a moment I thought it was RDJ on the big screen) and the identity porn side trope killed me for good. And what a way to go. I’m an angst hoe but I could read this forever and would be okay with it.

• pondus, pondera by spqr (M, 9.3k, completed) underage prostitution but not between P/T

Summary: Peter sells his virginity for $5,000 when he’s fifteen.

Review: Ugh I’m so weak for the angsty hooker trope, I just love the potential to simultaneously explore whump, mutual pining and gentle recovery. Trust spqr to deliver it all with a carefully crafted slow burn, god-tier characterization and a heartfelt and satisfying get together. This fic is a gem.

• Powerful by @cagestark (E, 4.6k, completed) SIM!Tony

Summary: After finding out about Peter's abusive ex, Tony privately vows revenge.

Review: This fic took my breath away and made me realize that dark!Tony with a soft spot for Peter is everything I need in my life. Precious Peter being empowered by a viciously protective Tony is now my absolute jam, and it was fascinating to see see their dynamics mutually feeding each other’s nature. This fic is gorgeous, sexy and liberating.

***Red Light District series by @starker-stories (17k, ongoing)

Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy who has dozens of women passing through his life and through his bed. What everyone doesn't know is that Tony Stark is deeply closeted, longing for something he can't ever have -- a life and a love with another man.

Review: I’m completely in love with this series and not only because it explores the good old hooker trope which I’m very partial to. It’s so well written and atmospheric, if a tad bittersweet and heart-wrenching. Great narrative tension, Tony and Peter’s chemistry is insane, their voices and dialogue are amazing and the smut is looong and scorching hot *chef’s kiss*

• Samadhi by @starkercrossedlovers (E, completed)

Summay: Tony goes to yoga to try and deal with his anxiety and ends up falling for the instructor, one Peter Parker.

Review: Okay so yoga fics are among my guilty pleasures and I can’t get enough of feel-good fics like this one. Peter’s such a sweetheart, so thoughtful and amazing with Tony. I love it when they take care of each other and find solace together, this fic made me soft :’)

• Single dad baker!Peter and lawyer!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (G, completed)

Review: I’m not usually a fluff girl but this fic is just too wholesome to go by unnoticed. Nothing hits my soft side harder than a cynical character reaching that turning point that makes them start to believe in love. Fuck yes, YOU SHOW THAT MAN SOME HAPPILY EVER AFTER PETE

• Soft Kitty by @ko-fiandfanfiction (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Peter wasn’t wearing something Tony would call normal, not that there was anything inherently wrong with what he was wearing or anything. It just struck him as…different. To put it plainly. Tony is not sure what to make of this new development.

Review: For those of you who love some occasional feminization, this is the perfect treat. Soft, sexy and sweet, it combines top guilty, pining Tony with oblivious idiots in love, two of my favorite tropes. Amazing slow burn with glorious sexual tension, infuriating dancing around each other and a very satisfying get together. Bonus points for including the “Avengers living together in the Tower” trope, this is the 2012 team building fic we deserved.

• Solitaire by @darker-soft-starker (M, 29k, completed)

Summary: After a traumatic experience, Tony loses his marriage and his business empire in one fell swoop. At rock bottom, it takes real change to pick up the pieces, to dig himself out of the funk he's been living in. It's not pretty. Along the path of healing Tony meets a bright young man, Peter Parker, who makes the entire journey worth it.

Review: Oh man, this was a tough ride on the soul. Few things hurt me like reading whump!Tony but his healing journey is so beautiful it’s all worth it. Top notch characterization, amazing dialogue, FEELS EVERYWHERE, and a gorgeous portrayal of loneliness, friendship, hope and love.

• Someone Who Makes you Happy by tuesday (T, 6k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: Peter was born with several marks already marring his skin, including an interlocking AES over his heart. A scar-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: This fic is absolutely stunning and it makes my heart ache in all the right places. Great worldbuilding (I LOVE the scarring concept, so unique and fitting to these characters), A+++ Tony characterization (the wit and the self-hate are so spot on I could weep) and a journey full of longing, until they finally get to be on the same page.

• Splice by Mezzymet (E, 35k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: "He's not...." The doctors polite nature and disposition hadn't been able to mask the odd tone of his voice, like he had been reading someone's death certificate. Only Peter hadn't been on his death bed. "Peter isn't like the other kids.

Review: I keep coming back to this story because it’s such a fascinating and unique take on this trope. Very well thought and put together - the world building is fantastic, the sex sequences are breathtaking, and Tony’s gentle thoughtfulness makes me wanna cry.

• Stopover by @cagestark (E, 10k, completed)

Summary: A stopover is just a break in a journey. Tony is on the run from the organization he used to kill for, and when he stopped for gas and coffee in the small town of Stopover, IL, he had no plans to leave with anything more.

Review: *sigh* this is the mob boss!Tony fic I’ve waited for all my life. Even more impressive than the delicious smut checking all my kink boxes was the phenomenal build up, the overall urgent atmosphere that surrounds those “on the run”, combined with the gentle wonder of stealing a moment in time to find solace in the most unlikely place. Breathtakingly moving.

• Student Body President Election by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed)

Summary: Tony and Peter are competing for Student Body President and a smear campaign takes things a little too far.

Review: GIMME ENEMIES TO LOVERS AND ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. This ficlet is so fun and adorable it will make your heart smile. Great plot idea and the usual bonus points for protective!Tony being a sweetheart. Will have more 30k, pls and thank.

• Such a Softer Sin by @css1992 (E, 18k, completed) background Peter/Norman

Summary: Tony is a self-made man. Peter is a sugar baby – someone else’s sugar baby.

Review: Another fantastic slow burn that hit me hard in the feels. I love it when fics explore the characters’ personal struggles before they get together, and while the Peter!whump destroyed my heart, Tony’s parallel journey of growth took my breath away. css1992’s talent took the good old sugar baby trope to a whole new epic level.

• Summer Daze by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 4.3k, completed)

Summary: Starker no-powers au where Peter watches construction worker Tony from his bedroom window as the older man works across the street.

Review: Ahh yes, the classic “food as metaphor for love” trope, my absolute jam. This fic is so adorable and endearing, pining!Peter in his wooing mission makes my heart ache and the sweet anticipation is so good. There’s something about this fic that gives me nostalgia; it’s as soft and warm as a summer breeze.

• Tamed by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Review: It’s no wonder this is Cage’s most beloved fic. Bad boy!Tony being all soft for Peter is everything we deserve, not to mention a mesmerizing (and HOT AF) first time together. This fic shows how rich and captivating Cage’s writing is - she’s able to transform that old basic trope into something unique and heartfelt. If you need one more reason to read this, please consider: best first bj ever :)

• Teacher!Tony wrong number by @areluctantsblog (T) tw underage

Summary: Peter’s using a replacement phone and mistypes Ned’s number asking for help on a physics problem.

Review: I have such a soft spot for this fic! It was one of the first AUs I’ve ever read and I’m completely in love with their dynamics. Peter’s underage but this fic is carefully written and pretty tame, so I’d rec it to anyone looking for the good old “they probably shouldn’t, but then again nothing’s happening” trope.

• The Bleedover Effect by tuesday (T, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: The first time Tony got punched in the face by nobody there, he had a lot of very complicated feelings about it that mostly boiled down to, "I deserve this." A pain-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: Tuesday truly is the queen of soulmate AUs, we have no other choice but STAN. First of all, I adore the concept here - being such a sucker for whump, this could easily become my favorite soulmate trope. As usual, her Tony voice is perfect and his devotion to Peter hits my fragile heart every time. Kudos for the soft and hopeful ending. The series has been discontinued but the sequels are very much worth the read, if you’re up for it :)

• The Catfish Chronicles by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 32k, completed)

Summary: Peter creates a fake profile under the name “Benjamin” trying to catch his scumbag boyfriend cheating. Tony creates a Tinder profile for "Anthony" looking for love late in life. Funny how two geniuses who fight side by side every day can only manage to fall in love after they've accidentally catfished each other. This is... gonna get awkward.

Review: My identity porn thirst might be showing but who cares, I want these two idiots pining after each other in every possible way. This was such a fun and exciting ride! The suspense had me legit freaking out and their get together was lovely and wholesome. I particularly adored how thoughtful and sweet Tony was dealing with Peter’s insecurities, that was handled really well. A treat!

• The Concept of Domesticity by @peters-tofu (E) mpreg

Summary: Tony has accomplished nearly everything he's set out to do, now he wants something different. A family of his own? Sounds easy enough. But he's far too impatient for a relationship, so surrogacy it is. Meanwhile, twenty-two year old college student Peter Parker has just volunteered to be a bearer at an agency.

Review: Can’t say I’m a big fan of this trope but since every rule has its exception, here it is! The only Starker mpreg I’ve ever read is so so good and adorable I can’t help smiling every time I think about it. I just love their dynamics, the soft domesticity, the cute bantering, and the fact that Peter has one baby daddy all wrapped around his little finger but what else is new ;)

***The Date by Neuropsyche (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Tony has a high society gala and he needs a date.

Review: My favorite fake dating AU so far, this fic is so sweet and wholesome. Confident!Peter is my jam and it was amazing to see their sassy bantering evolving into genuine affection towards each other, not to mention the delicious hot smut with dom!Tony :D

• The Final Heist by @starkerforlife6969 (G, 10k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s only got one more heist. He does this, he can be retired on an island in the Mediterranean in a month. All he needs is a world-class art forger. (White Collar inspired)

Review: Honestly, the amount of times I’ve mentioned SFL in this list is getting embarrassing. I must have done something really good in another life to get such a talented author writing something inspired by one of my favorite TV shows. I feel like this fic was personally crafted for me; it’s original, romantic, sexy, fun, clever and so very atmospheric. I’m a lucky hoe.

• The Heart Benefits of Exercise by @areluctantsblog (E, 14k, completed)

Summary: Personal Trainer Tony and Gym Newbie Peter. Peter can hardly keep it together watching Tony demonstrate different exercises and lift weights. Tony is very much aware of the effect he has on his trainee, and after a session, Peter begs to be shown a whole different array of exercises.

Review: This fic was a lovely surprise, very relatable and entertaining. Love myself an adorable Peter thirsting over Tony (can’t really judge lol), especially if it comes with a good amount of pining and hot, kinky smut :D

• Tipping the Scale by JayPendragon (E, 119k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a rhythm. A system. All runs like a well-oiled machine, engineering pun intended. Every wheel of his life is churning perfectly. He doesn’t expect Tony Stark of all people to throw a wrench in it.

Review: Hooker!AUs are my kryptonite, I’m so here for the “fuck first, talk later” and the general pining + misunderstandings + h/c combo this trope provides. This amazing longfic delivers it all with a well-paced, delicious slow burn told from Peter’s POV, which is always a delight to read and makes you fall even more in love with him. If you also enjoy this trope you’re in for a treat!

• To Catch a Spider by Thekeyandquill (E)

Summary: After the war, Peter Parker left his career as a spy behind to live a simple life in the south of France. But when someone frames him for the theft of plans for a new weapon, he must re-enter his old life and get close to the real thief's likely next target - one Tony Stark. A To Catch a Thief AU.

Review: TKAQ is so skilled their writing should be experienced like fine wine. Amazing research, top notch world building and characterization, and the loveliest atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re inside a movie. Clever, organic dialogue and a sexual tension so palpable you can almost taste it. This is a gem. Make sure to check their other works.

• Two White, Two Black, One Pink by @starkerforlife6969 (E) poly fic: Peter/Tony, Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Strange Summary: Peter has three (maybe one day: four) men in his life who mean the world to him. Review: Ugh, this fic is pure bliss. It has legit ruined me for any and all other poly fics. Words just cannot describe how gorgeous, poetic and unique SFL’s writing is, or how deeply it has affected me. So if you enjoy Mafia AUs, poly fics and soft-but-also-bamf!Peter taking care of Tony AND being taken care of by the men he loves, give this a chance and experience transcending storytelling.

• Uranium Heart by spqr (M, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU Summary: It’s probably better, Peter thinks, that he doesn’t know who his soulmate is. He wouldn’t want to lie to them about Spider-Man, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell them the truth, either.

Review: Be still my heart. This is such a gorgeous fic! Not only it combines two major tropes in a coherent 11k story, but I also appreciate how spqr explores these characters and their dynamics in a very unique and realistic way. I strongly recommend checking their other works, especially Landslide.

• Waiting Game by @cagestark (E, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter hasn't seen Tony in fifteen years. Not since he had their hasty marriage annulled, graduated college, and moved across the country. Their twenty year high school reunion will find them reunited. They've both changed, but one thing hasn’t. Hint: it's their feelings for each other.

Review: This fic literally made my heart BURST WITH FEELS: the whole build up and anticipation, the slow disclosure of their past, the first uncertain moments of their reunion. I also appreciate the powerful and moving message underneath it all, that true healing comes after we overcome our demons at our own pace. A masterpiece.

• Wooing Peter Parker by Neuropsyche (E, 62.5k, completed)

Summary: Tony and Rhodey dodge the press and sneak into the library where they meet Peter Parker - who immediately catches Tony's eye. But Peter isn't a one and done kind of guy and Tony's going to have to work for what he wants this time.

Review: This is the kind of fic that warms you all over and makes you smile non stop. It has so many elements I love in fic: cute flirting, clever banter, hot sex, soft domesticity, boys being reasonable and talking their problems out for a change. If you’re looking for something light, sweet and honest, this series is a must read!

#starker #reclist #peter parker x tony stark

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sandalaris · 4 years

Note

SethKate for the 10 sentence meme?

one sentence per genre for a pairing

How can anyone do any of these with just one sentence?! At least I tried.... there’s a lot of run on sentences in this, btw, although after a few I just decided the one sentence rule could shove it and went with keeping each one short, and at least one I said screw it and made it pretty long for a one-sentence story.

1. Angst

A shadow self, that’s what Amaru called them, the ones she twisted and turned and brought forth from the other side, and logically Kate knows he had no choice, knows he did what he had to do to save Richie and her and the world, but logic has no hold in the face of screaming gaping wound in her chest that pulses and weeps grief and guilt when she looks at Seth’s face. It’s a cruel and ugly twist of fate, to still love the man who killed her brother.

A/N: A mild AU I will never write (but have thought about what would happen before) in which Amaru did her shadow-self thing on Scott and Seth is forced to kill him.

2. AU

There’s nothing wrong with the school itself, she decides, even if she does find some of its rules and traditions a bit odd. She wouldn’t even need to be here except Our Lady of Sorrow holds the only duel credit program with both an opening in Statistics and Intro to Psych that was willing to let Kate in given her... unusual circumstances (being homeschooled, a devout Baptist, and technically enrolled at a local public high school - a PE credit apparently requires a bit more than her daddy and the internet can provide - had her sure that even applying was a lost cause). She only has to spend half a day on campus and only one of her classes is even near the annex building so she hardly sees Seth (she refuses to call him “Mr. Gecko” on principle. She’s only somewhat a student here, and he is certainly not her teacher, even if he is a teacher.. she thinks).

She’s counting the weeks until the semester ends.

A/N: I would love to read this as a full fic... just not sure I want to write it, lol.

3. Crack

No. Nuh-uh. No way. Seth is not some pansy assed prince charming setting out on a quest or one of those glory seeking wannabe knights who graduate from the Fairytale Training Academy, and he’s certainly never wanted to be anyone’s goddamn hero, so little miss damsel in distress, who’s probably some secret lost princess because Seth’s read this tale before and he hated it the first time around, can save her sob story for some other guy because he is absolutely not-

“Please.”

...fuck.

A/N: A reluctant Seth who is entirely too aware of fairy tale tropes and trying everything he can not to be in a one? Way more amusing than it should be to me.

4. Future fic

Seth eyes the group of sparkly wrapped boxes sitting on the counter with distrust, part of him already counting their numbers and trying to figure out how many have his name on them. After last year, when Seth managed to sneak a peek at every single last gift and “ruined the surprise,” Kate had managed to hide every Christmas present so well he’d begun to wonder if she’d decided he didn’t get any this year.

He reaches for a small, shiny box, the tag just peeking out from the curly bow and revealing a “th” in a familiar loopy penmanship, when Kate suddenly hisses behind him.

“Don’t even think about it.”

A/N: “Future” makes me think domestic fic (at least in FDtD), and that’s not an area I’m real familiar with, so *waves hand* this is what you get. :P

5. First Time

Her hands are shaking. Not visibly, but enough to make her fingers feel weak and the gun in her grip far too dangerous.

“You ready?”

She doesn’t know if she’s imagining the doubt in Seth’s voice, regret bleeding through at agreeing for her to play a bigger role, but she nods firmly anyways, tightening her grip and stepping forward.

A/N: Kate’s first heist... although I doubt Seth let her use a gun the first time. Too dangerous in the hands of an amateur. And I’m pretty sure Seth kept Kate’s role as danger-free and background as he could, because she was still fighting so hard to be considered an equal partner at the beginning of S2.

6. Fluff

She’s just managed to settle into the perfect spot when the bed shifts slightly behind her and a familiar hand fumbles sleepily at her arm and over her stomach before finding the hollow dip of her waist. Kate lets out a half-hearted protest, bits of warmth escaping at the blanket slips down and the sheet bunching beneath her as Seth wastes no time tugging her across the mattress, the sound dying into a soft laugh as he tucks her half under him and grumbles wordlessly against her temple without even opening his eyes. She shifts, tugging the corner of the pillow down a bit so its not digging into her neck before letting out a happy sigh. Perfect.

7. Humor (I had a hard time with this one, so I just wrote something random)

Kate makes a noise of frustration, pushing herself from her chair and snapping, “I’m gonna die a virgin. Again!”

“You know,” Richie says with far too much brotherly glee, “if you’re looking for someone to-”

“Shut up, Richard!”

8. Hurt/Comfort (another one where I didn’t exactly want to go full hurt/comfort, so instead I went Hurt? As in injury? Yeah, lets go with that.)

“Ohgodohgodohgod.” She can’t seem to stop the litany of words, repeated phrase cycling through her mind as she presses harder. There’s blood, so much blood, seeping red and too thick through her fingers that she can’t even feel the pain.

She should feel it, she thinks, she did before. Or maybe its better that she can’t, she doesn’t want a repeat of the well.

She takes another step, seeing the door just a few steps away. There are people beyond it, Seth and Richie’s people (Seth’s going to be so pissed, she thinks with a kind of worrying detachment.) It’s a simple goal: get to the door. Everything will be alright if she can just get to the door.

A/N: Kate is totally OK in this. It’s bad, but not as bad as she thinks, and while she doesn’t make it to the door before collapsing, someone comes through really quickly and sees her.

9. Smut Hand holding?

The leather is soft against his skin, well worn from years of near continuous use and Kate’s dedicated care. He remembers when she first got them, the fancy looking box with its folded tissue paper holding them inside like they were a gift. He had hated them, hated the way they covered Kate’s small, deadly hands, the way Dad expected for her to be grateful, how necessary they were.

He slides his hand up, pad of his thumb brushing over the expensive leather covering her palm before it presses against the soft, vulnerable skin of her inner wrist, and he swears for a moment her can feel the nervous flutter of her pulse before he curls his fingers to lock around her wrist.

She looks at him, an amused quirk of to the edge of her lips as he raises her hand between them and he meets her gaze, not bothering to measure the redness of her eyes as he reaches his free hand up to pinch the fabric just above her pinkie.

“What’re yo-” She cuts off with a choked gasp when he tugs, but doesn’t jerk back. He’s inexplicably proud of her for it.

Her eyes are wide and a little panicked, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she watches him tug at the top of each finger, loosening the well-fitting glove until it sits loose on her small hand.

He takes in a shaky breath, feeling unaccountably nervous as he grips the empty tip of the glove’s middle finger, like he’s removing far more than just a simple bit of leather. But then again, maybe he is. After all, Kate’s almost never lets any of them see her without her gloves, not willingly.

He pauses at the thought, gaze flicking away from his task to look at Kate. He regrets it almost immediately. He wasn’t going to stop once he started, wasn’t going to give Kate cause to think he held any of the fear she’s convinced he must feel. But maybe she sees the question in his eyes, or feel it in the sure way he holds her wrist because she nods, small and hesitant but there. He pulls the glove the rest of the way off and lets it fall to the floor.

He lets out a breath just as Kate seems to suck one in, her gaze locked on her bare fingers and Seth loosens his grip, fingers already turning so he can run the flat of his palm up her wrist, forearm pressing against forearm as his hand aligns with hers.

He’s grinning, sudden and full of too much smug satisfaction if Kate’s affectionate eye roll is anything to go by, but Seth doesn’t care, already lacing their fingers together so he can hold her hand proper for once.

A/N: This is part of a tUA inspired AU that has no plot and therefore will never be written. But I know exactly what Kate and Seth’s abilities are, which is part of why this is such a thing for Kate here and why Seth feels her fears are unfounded.

10. UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension)

She doesn’t blink, barely seems to be breathing, holding herself so carefully behind her desk, straight backed and fingers laced together as she stares stubbornly up at him. He smiles, slow and measured and knowing, letting his gaze sweep over the cardigan she’s begun buttoning all the way up since he joined her little class, before leaning close, meeting her gaze and dropping his voice low, like a secret between them.

“And what do I get if I get it right?”

A/N: Seth goes back to school to get his GED, Ms. Fuller is not what he was expecting. I actually had a whole scene playing through my head for this, because I like build up, and it was really hard to pick just a small part to put here.

None of these are edited, despite how long it took to post, meaning I have mixed feelings on them, lol. I think I like more of them than I expected to, so yay!

#sethkate #asked and answered #my writing #these were both really hard and really fun #and with mixed sucess

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mixtapestar · 3 years

Text

Year End Writer’s Round-Up 2020

I was tagged by @theaudity, thank you! <3

Word/Piece Count for 2020: 217,344 Words

New things I tried this year: Writing on a regular schedule, starting at the very end of June. Thanks, Magicians fandom! Also, writing kink, sharing my stuff with people while it’s still in progress, interacting more in general!

Fic/art piece I spent the most time on: I think I spent about a month getting stop worrying and love just right. It was my first fic in a long time and I had no idea how it would be received as this was a shiny, new fandom to me. Happy to say that posting that fic is what eventually led me to find a wonderful group of friends that saved my 2020!

Fic/art piece I Spent the Least Time On: Lmao, probably the second Magicians fic I posted, no time for nostalgia. Literally just an hour, opening up a document, and writing something fun.

Favorite Thing I Wrote/Drew/Created: This one is tough, but probably the first series I started within my Comfortween foray: a promising vacation. Perhaps because it was my first No Beast AU!

Favorite Thing I Read/Looked at: I couldn’t possibly decide, so here are six at random (all Magicians):

love it when you need me by miscreants

Best Beware My Sting written by @hoko-onchi-writes with art by @fishfingersandscarves

Wonderstruck written by @mizzy2k with art by @skittlestrash

scenes from an unfinished story (told by the lost and found) written by @freneticfloetry with art by rodeoclown

Take Me to Encanto Oculto by PotteredUp

You have already left kudos here. :) by @jessalae

Writing/Art Goals For Next Year: Several, actually!

I signed up for GYWO with a habit goal of 240 days - basically, to make time to write about two thirds of the days of the year. (Last year I figured I wouldn’t write At All but signed up out of habit for the lowest goal of 120 days. Ended with 186, and that’s without fandom writing until June 28!)

Finish and post Soulmark AU.

Participate in as many fic events, fests, exchanges, etc. as I might enjoy! I did Yuletide for the first time in 2020, as well as taking on a Pinch Hit for a fandom-specific exchange, and they were tons of fun! I’m already looking forward to the Bulletproof Exchange and Chocolate Box.

Basically, just keep enjoying what I write? Sometimes I have to remind myself that if it’s not fun, it’s time to take a break. And that it’s okay to write kinda the same thing over and over? Meaning, my brand of ‘sweet and hot’ aka ‘fluff and smut’ is A-OK and no one is complaining about it, despite what my brain gremlins may try to tell me.

I’m afraid that I got terribly behind on tumblr over the month of December (and however many days of January), so I don’t know who’s done this. If you haven’t and would like to, consider yourself tagged! <3 Happy 2021!

#writing #fic related #meme

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laraslandlockedblues · 4 years

Text

Writer’s Review

Tagged by @roguelioness thank you so much darling!

Tagging: @ladymdc @dismalzelenka @a-shakespearean-in-paris @queen-kass-the-writer @kagetsukai @shannaraisles @calihippie4

Rules: Post two snippets of your writing. The first should be one of the oldest examples of your work that you can find (the older the better!), and the other has to be an excerpt from something more recent. Compare the two side by side to see the difference between what your writing looks like now and how it did then.

I love this concept because I’ve literally left up the original Goose Bumps (Shakarian) fic I wrote despite working on revising and rewriting it because I like seeing how much I’ve changed. However since that’s already a thing I think I’ll compare...Eye of the Storm (my first actual posted ao3 story) and......I’m trying to decide since my most recent writing is original fic and I don’t want to post a chunk here. So we’ll go with the latest chapter of After Rain.

Under a read more for length

Eye of the Storm, Ch. 2

Cassandra was pushing her way forward beside him, her hands on the shoulders of soldiers to force them out of her way. He ran ahead, barreling past those in front of him, less gentle in his desperate haste. The scream had torn through him, cut him to the core. It was a sound that reminded him too much of memories he long wished buried, memories of unbearable torment.

He sprinted until he reached her, her petite form crumpled on her knees. She was losing consciousness, beginning to fall sideways as he approached, and he quickly threw himself to her side to catch her. She slumped into him, her breathing shallow as he pulled her against his chest. He slipped an arm under her legs, his other around her narrow shoulders, lifting her effortlessly.

Maker, he wondered to himself, she’s so small - and yet she had saved them.

Commander Cullen turned, carrying the fragile burden in his arms as he began to make his way back through the Temple ruins. His soldiers parted, letting him pass easily, many falling to their knees in reverence, heads bowed in grateful prayer.

She had saved them.

Cassandra fell into step beside him, concern etched on her sharp features as she followed. Leliana soon joined them, straining to peer into the face of the one he held so close against his chest.

Ok I have to stop there, haha. This has unfortunately become a fic I can’t open because the instant I do I want to just edit and tear it to shreds, and I shouldn’t feel that way. EotS was the fic that got me sharing my writing. And if I hadn’t done that, if I hadn’t become comfortable enough with my writing and discovered the world of fanfiction through my idea that Evelyn had lightning colored eyes and an electrical current could be felt under her skin...well, I likely wouldn’t be working on my novel right now. Yet alone be halfway through it.

There really isn’t anything horrible with this start, it’s just that now I know I can do better. I’ve grown in style and variety. My sentences don’t all start with “he” or “she” anymore. I feel more comfortable with characters and their dialogue, showing subtlety in their body language. I reread Hero Worship recently and noticed I had a bad habit of spelling out people’s thoughts and feelings. But that’s how you get started. That’s how you learn how to grow as a writer is by starting like that, with the basics, with doing it the “wrong” way. It isn’t really wrong though, not if it gets you telling your story.

...k I need to stop rambling about that, I’ve just learned to think positively about where I started when I picked writing up again. It’s been a long journey, and now it’s brought me to...

After Rain, Ch. 31

They lay holding one another until the light beyond the window grew more noticeable, making Abby’s eyes prick with unwanted tears.

He’d be fine — he had to be fine. She had no reason to think otherwise, and yet her brain continued to wander that direction. Burying her nose in the chestnut waves resting against her cheek, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

They had been apart for weeks before, and time had passed quickly because of how much work there was to be done at the tavern. All the time apart had done was make them cherish and love the time they actually had together — and surely this time would be no different.

Instead she would focus on this, the feeling of his soft waves between her fingers, the feeling of his hot skin pressing her into the mattress, the blissful weight of him on top of her, completely spent after making love to her. No matter how many times he had the two nights before, she still felt like it wasn’t enough — she hadn’t done enough, not nearly enough, to help him understand how she felt.

“Ry,” she began, but when he let out several breathy chuckles she stopped.

He pushed himself onto his elbows, and took a moment to study her face and brush stray hairs off her cheeks. “Aye, lass,” he murmured, and he gave her a wide smile.

There was such soft understanding and acceptance in his gaze, and she snaked her fingers into his hair to pull him back down for a kiss.

Everything would be worth it if it meant a life of him looking at her like that.

This - THIS feels more like my writing. The thing is, I know there will be a day when I even look back on this and flinch a little, thinking on how I’ve grown even further. I just love the subtlety here, the understanding that comes with an established relationship. It’s delicate, it’s poignant and bittersweet. The subtle moment where she tries to begin to tell him she loves him and he interrupts because he knows, of course he does - and he also knows why she still isn’t ready to say it.

Comparing these two makes me proud of how much progress I’ve made. Writing is an ever-changing journey, and I don’t think I realized that until I started down the path. I thought you had to be perfect at it right away, but like all skills it takes work and practice. And looking back now on all my WIPs, even the abandoned ones, I’m really grateful to see how they’ve all helped me narrow down my voice and learn to craft the stories I want to tell. And hopefully this journey just keeps on going, because it’s been a lot of fun.

#tag game #writer review #my writing #eye of the storm #after rain #evelyn/cullen #cullen/trevelyan #abigail and rylen #rylen/oc #long post #wow looking between those I'm just #I've come a long way #also feel free to ignore the tags #<3

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little-merry-go-round · 4 years

Text

There’s a lot of shit that was bothering me lately and i need to get it out of my system. I understand a lot of you don’t wanna read that kind of stuff so i’m tagging discourse and putting the rest of the post under the cut. Hope it’ll work

The first thing i wanna talk about is the way Jack interact with us here on tumblr but also on reddit. Do you remember favouritism drama that happened last february? People were pointing out Jack rebloging from same people all the time, he said he doesn’t do it on purpose, things were talked out and were ok for a while. However we came back to the same place again. I wouldn’t call it necessary favouritism but idk, ignorance maybe? I payed attention who Jack rebloging from, who’s posts he see in reddit vids. Before ya’ll jump on me, i don’t blame artists or people who he interact with at all. I’m glad they post and i hope they continue. The point i’m trying to make is Jack going through most popular most of the times. I don’t know why is this. I tried to ask him, i tried to ignore it, i tried to convince myself that i’m just jealous bitch and he does care about us all still equally. It’s really hard to think that when you see over and over popular creators, who already got good amount of notes, being featured in vids/ rebloged/ interacted with. Again, i don’t blame creators at all. I just feel frustrated that smaller creators doesn’t have chance to be seen, not only by Jack but by anybody really since a lot of people avoid tag to not see tea blogs posts. And then Jack saying in videos that he’s sad creators leaving… Are you surprised? Really? It was going fo so long and nothings changing in that regard.

I remember Jack said something along the line once “it’s better to interact with few than to not interact at all”. That’s true when “few” changes constantly but if it’s same few over and over you shouldn’t be surprised when people feel like worse of a fans and leaving.

“Draw for yourself, not for Jack”. Yeah, i do. I do draw and colour and i’m being creative whenever i have time. I just don’t post that often here anymore. Don’t be hypocrite. You all posting in the tag because you want to be seen. If you wouldn’t be seen you wouldn’t post in tag or even anywhere online. It’s very easy to say “notes doesn’t matter” when you get feedback whatever you post. I don’t want him to interact with everybody. A little bit of variety wouldn’t hurt tho.

I’ll quote something he posted on tumblr early this year: “I know I reblog and interact with certain people here more than others, I don’t think it ever really occurred to me properly because I usually just fly through the tag each day and interact with stuff as I see it and what it pertains to. It’s never been on my mind to do it for some more than others or “play favourites”. Some people are just FAR more active here than others and in the tag way more often, so just by sheer number alone it would make sense that I would see their stuff more as it’s usually more current. I’m sorry if people felt left out or underappreciated as a result of that. It’s a byproduct of things rather than the intent.” First of all I don’t believe he doesn’t recognize people artstyes at this point. Secondly it’s not hard to see the same popular people if you only going through most popular posts.

Another thing that’s bothering me are charity streams. Not that Jack raising money, that’s good. I’m not that much of a bitch. I mean the way streams are handle. Jack seems often unprepared. I don’t talk about games here, but about charity itself. Shouldn’t he know more about them instead of reading what they’re doing from their website? It was especially bothering me with team trees charity because this topic is talked about a lot and it’s really not that hard to find informations about it. “Let’s plant 20mln trees and save the planet!” No hun, it can and will help but it won’t save the planet as you claim.

“You’re going on the board” pissing me off so damn much everytime. I never watch streams if i don’t feel well mentaly because of that board thing mostly. I understand that you wanna reward people somehow, i get where it came from but again, it’s so unfair. Let’s give example. There’s person A who have a good job and earn quite a lot. It’s no problem for them to save thousand or two for charity. They will go on the board for that. There’s person B, who has shitty job, or is unemployed a lot of time. They have health problems and strugling everyday. They still wanna help out and give a dollar for a charity every month. Are you familiar with a biblical story about widow from Luke chapter 21? That’s what i mean with this example. Did you notice the way Jack read donations? How pumped he is when somebody give thousand dollars or at least few hundred and how he rush through one dollar donations? Because i did. Please don’t come to me saying he’s not guilt tripping people because he does. I don’t believe he’s doing it on purpose but don’t tell me you never felt that way. I just don’t believe you.

Forced PMA. This was talked about many times. Jack said it’s not about being happy all the time. Most of the community agree, yet i constantly see PMA = no negativity mentality and Jack incourage that by liking that kind of posts. Jack used to play “serious games” and tried to take opportunities to talk about mental health and about reaching out to friends, parents and getting professional help if it’s needed. I don’t blame him for not playing that kind of games anymore but he switched from that to making meme videos, and God forbid, yelling “a meme a day keeps the depression away”. And people take it seriously. They really do. I saw with my two own eyes on jse discord that somebody said they have depression and they don’t feel too well and another person replied with - go watch some MEMES because a meme a day keeps the depression away hehe. What is this??? Is it really the message you wanna send? Just google those memes. They’re disgusting.

Tea blogs. Again, are you surpriced they’re there? Are you surpriced that when one get deleted another two or three appear? I’m not at all. Because everytime someone try to voice their opinion respectfully (especially more popular people in community) they get anons saying things from “that’s not very pma of you”, “You’re just jealous”, “Jack would be disappointed”, “Jack doesn’t want you here”, “If you don’t like him then leave” to “go kill yourself”. Nobody want to get such lovely message. To avoid that they’re going to tea blogs. Sure, there is a lot of hate there too. Sure, there are people who just wanna talk shit and spread lies. But there are also issues like the ones i wrote above. They won’t disappear if we won’t talk about them. I do care about Jack. I really do. I want him to do well and i want have good time watching his vids. i wanna interact with people who i met in this community. That’s why i’m writing it all, because i believe we’re better than that. I wanna see us improve not go down.

I really like what Jack tweeted and deleted "We all need love & support in life but also need someone to call us on our shit now and then. Don’t surround yourself with just “yes” people".

#Jacksepticeye #discourse #personal #not in the tag anymore? awesome

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unliikelylovers · 4 years

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ahh yay u reblogged that ask thing i was hoping u would. ok so. yue/yueki (whichever ud prefer!), azula, bakoda :)

omfg leo <33 this makes me happy ok buckle up for a massive post

yue

how I feel about this character

when i first watched avatar i didn’t rly get her,, like i couldn’t get invested,,

but the more i think about her the more i love her

she is so kind,, so good,, deserves the world,,,,

all the people I ship romantically with this character:

sokka (not to be heterosexual but they were rlly cute onscreen okay)

suki (the vibes!!!!)

katara (moon <3 and <3 ocean <3 gfs <3)

my non-romantic OTP for this character:

yue x a long, happy life leading the northern water tribe and smashing the patriarchy

my unpopular opinion about this character

i can’t think of anything because nobody ever talks about her!! she’s so slept on :(

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

it would’ve been cool if she joined the gaang,, i just love that idea sm. she would’ve brought one more braincell too and they Need That

my OTP

probably yuetara bc i just love that thing where u ship two characters who are foils to each other... very good, usually gay...

but honestly i’m only just opening my eyes to the wonderful world of atla wlw ships so my opinion is yet to be solidified

my cross over ship i don’t do crossover ships lol i find it hard enough gauging whether two characters have chemistry onscreen u cannot expect me to extrapolate it across media

a headcanon fact

i think yue probably hated pakku and she was goddamn right

azula

how I feel about this character

listen i skipped this q bc i couldn’t unpack it enough and honestly later on in the post i wrote two entire essays of how i feel about azula so just read that

all the people I ship romantically with this character

nobody, she needs to heal

my non-romantic OTP for this character

azula x therapy

my unpopular opinion about this character

idk if this is unpopular exactly and it’s gonna take some explaining

basically i went into the show (bc i only watched it for the first time a few weeks ago lol) expecting that she would be a Bad Bitch™ bc everyone’s like,,, simping for her

anyway

that’s not what she is?? like at all???

and at first i did not like her and i was like why does anyone like her even a little bit she’s literally just an agent of fascism and imperialism

and while watching the finale i finally was like Oh.

she’s an abused child. and all she ever learned how to do was manipulate and fight and make war

and she literally never recieved love from anyone

i just don’t understand how you can look at her character and think “yass queen” OR “she’s a crazy bitch”

i am fervently on team Uncomfy When People Idolize Canon Azula But I Desperately Want Her To Heal

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

realistically, her redemption/healing arc would be messy and complicated and not at all linear and hard to make into a compelling tv storyline

and any “redemption arc” that would be compelling children’s television would not be Good Enough For Me

and unpopular opinion i don’t think it would serve the story to add an addendum of book 4

so no i don’t want the atla writers to concoct an Azula Redemption Arc

but i want the characters in canon to save a little space in their heart for her

for someone she has not directly hurt to see her circa sozin’s comet and say, “this is not the warmaking machine ozai tried his best to make, this is a deeply hurt child”

someone like iroh

scratch that “someone” shit i want iroh. i want iroh to hold space in his heart for his niece, to see that she is not a lost cause. please. you did it for zuko please do it for her

my OTP:

azula x therapy

my cross over ship

a headcanon fact

lesbian.

obviously.

bakoda (which is honestly at this point my actual otp i am fully subsumed)

when I started shipping it if I did

honestly idk? i think i got it from a tumblr post lol i was like “oh? we ship these two? excellent” and just Ran With It

my thoughts

the Old Gays vibes are immaculate. the yearning. the fighting beside one another. the raising children. perfect in every way

what makes me happy about them

that they can grow old together, happily, in their home, in a world at peace...... God

what makes me sad about them

the idea of bato just... pining... for years... the Angst

if we’re talking canonverse then i love mining bato’s injury for angst just consider the possibilities: bato feeling abandoned at the abbey... bato thinking hakoda will never love him if he’s left less mobile... bato not properly taking care of himself

i just have so many emotions about bato someone stop me

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

just straight up ignoring kya or even worse, kya slander, like,, she and hakoda were also in love

((i may or may not have literally done that in one of my fics and still have weird feelings abt it but it was 600 words of fluff so))

things I look for in fanfic

literally ANYTHING i will read any fanfic that has bakoda as a tag, bakoda nation is all about the crumbs

but for real. the yearning. all of the pining. they need to spend years in love with each other without saying a goddamn word

also if it wasn’t clear from my fics,,, whenever a bakoda fic includes kya i Love that shit. makes me go all heart eyes emoji. i love her. i love her so much i need more kya content

bato/hakoda/kya ot3 content is so blessed,, i see bato as gay probably but i can vibe with bisexual or it can be a v configuration

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other

hakoda with kya, obviously

my happily ever after for them

growing old together.......... just being old queer dads in love...... please i love them so much this is giving me Emotions

who is the big spoon/little spoon

bato is the big spoon he’s like a foot taller than hakoda and hakoda just wants to be Held

what is their favorite non-sexual activity

there’s a bakoda fic on ao3 where the tags “burn scar care” and “mutual pining” are adjacent and uh yeah. That.

#long post #atla hc

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the-light-of-stars · 4 years

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hi!!! I remember reading one of the tags on one of your posts about how white people are like always racist and that they need to constantly unlearn racism. That's a vague summary so sorry but in the tags you said there was something psychological to do with it? Can you explain that so I can use it to explain to others???

Hi anon!! First of all it’s great that you’re trying to learn more about stuff like this and want to help explain to others!!

Second: I am white, so I can’t draw the line at what is or isn’t racist and my opinion/ arguments shouldn’t be the focus here. Instead I’d suggest reading through some of the notes of the post you mentioned because some actual POC, who are affected by day to day racism, explained more about it there and I don’t won’t to speak over their voices. (Also the op isn’t by me I’ve just reblogged it, but idk if that’s what you meant).

However since you asked about a particular tag and I don’t want to leave you without an answer I’m going to explain what i meant with it - if I’m overstepping here though, please tell me cause I really don’t want that.

Ok so in the tag you’re talking about I mentioned that internalized racism , on a sociological basis (there’s probably psychological explanations about it as well but I’m not a psychologist) can be related to the term of the Habitus.

Habitus is an important term in sociology that in its most common understanding has been introduced by the sociologist Pierre Bourdieu.

To put it simply the Habitus is aspects of behavior that are 1. Usually unconscious and 2. Internalized through society and social standing. It’s not something someone was born with but something someone was born into.

Basically Bourdieu researched differences between social classes (and other social identifiers) and found out that members of specific groups didn’t just identify as members of their group because of objective criteria (for example wealth) but also because of their behavior - which, in many cases, the people didn’t even realize themselves - and that this is a phenomenon that happens not only in one aspect of societal structures but all of them (eg not just when it comes to class, but also to race, gender, orientation, etc etc.) and is something that is learned by exposure to the social circle you live in and also will stick with you your whole life, even if you can change parts of it.

(Because Bourdieu mainly researched different social classes and because I’ve only ever experienced xenophobic microaggressions but not racist ones in that sense, which means I lack the necessary understanding to talk about those in depth (also I’m white so it’s not my place to say what is and isn’t racism) I’ll use an example about classism instead)

For example: a rich person that has been born into wealth will never really know what it is like to be poor and what struggles poor people face. They can read all literature on class disparity in existence, and yet because they lack personal experience they will never truly know what it is like to be poor. So I’m all their actions, even if they try their best to not be classist, this lack of personal experience and the lack of understanding that comes with it will shine through in one way or another, usually unintentionally, because it is simply part of their ingrained behavioral structure. To them something can be completely innocuous and yet show their lack of understanding that’s been ingrained through growing up in the society they did in.

As an example: a rich person has a poor friend, who they care for dearly. One day when out and about together, the poor friend accidentally breaks their new phone and starts to panic about it. The rich friend tries to calm them down : “It’s ok please don’t cry, it’s just a phone - you can buy a new one!” . To them this statement shows their concern for their dear friend and is an attempt at calming them down by reassuring their friend and making them see the situation isn’t that bad and is fixable.

But instead of calming them down, this statement makes the friend cry even more. Because they can’t just buy a new phone, they don’t have the money. They’ve been saving up for this phone for months and now they have to cut edges all over again while also havibn to deal with not having a phone in a society where having one is pretty much a necessity. But the rich friend didn’t consider that - they couldn’t! Because in the life they live a 1000$ phone can be replaced at any moment, like you could replace a missing paper clip (I say, as if I haven’t panicked about this once as well cause I had to spend 2€ on a whole new pack of clips and couldn’t pay for my lunch that day because of that..). To the rich friend the situation registered only as a mild nuisance, but not as something worth crying or panicking over, because to them that’s what it is, which is why they acted accordingly.

They acted like they did because it’s the behavior and worldview they grew up with, and because it’s impossible for them to really understand the experience of someone who isn’t rich, because they’ve never had to experience it themselves and grew up in a society that was nothing but beneficial to them. So what they can do in the situation of the example, is apologizing for unintentionally upsetting their friend even more, educate themselves on why their friend reacted like that (eg learn about poor peoples situations through first hand accounts or scientific literature) ,work on themselves to ensure they won’t make the same mistake a second time, examine their behavior to see where it stems from and how to unlearn and help their friend , for example by offering to buy them a new phone (though they also have to accept it if the friend refuses their help or tells them it’s not their business.). And of course they also have to , at least try to, accept that what they did was wrong and that they aren’t exempt from making mistakes again in the future (because unlearning learnt behaviors takes a crap ton of work and won’t ever be fully possible, which is something that anyone who ever had a bad habit (-> which stems from the same root as the sociological term: the Latin word habitus , which has a lot of different meanings but literally translated to ‘something one has’) and tried to get rid of it knows.)

Bourdieu mainly focused his studies to the concept of Habitus on social class , but the concept is translatable to any other kind of socially learned behavior.

A straight person will always show homophobic behavior.

A cis person will always show transphobic behavior

A male person will always show misogynistic behavior. (Also before any terf tries to use this for their rhetoric: trans women face the same issues cis women face (as well as the added issues specific to trans people), because they are women and have to deal with misogyny as any other woman does. So don’t even try). (Edit: I first wrote ‘a cis male person will always show misogynistic behavior’ which is exactly the kind of unintentional mistake I’m talking about. Because writing it like this is already making a weird distinction between cis and trans men, and also implies trans men would be excempt from misogyny when they , just like any other men, aren’t either. Sorry for that!)

And, most importantly in the context of the op and your ask as well as the current situation, a white person will always show racist behavior.

No matter how hard a white person tries, no matter how much they educate themselves, listen to the voices of people in racial minorities (in this specific case black people), or how much they help - they can’t ever understand completely and can’t ever completely get rid of their internalized behavior , so with their Habitus they’ll always show their being privileged in a racist society.

Does this mean white people should just go ‘well if I can’t ever get rid of my internalized racism I don’t even have to try’ ? No. Because even if you always will keep making unintentional mistakes, it’s better to make those unintentional mistakes once, acknowledge them and try to avoid them in the future , than it is to make an unintentional mistake and then keep repeating it intentionally for the rest of your life simply because you couldn’t be bothered to try better.

Does this mean white people should be patting themselves on the back for trying to unlearn? Also no. Because for one like I said its impossible to ever truly unlearn every racist behavior, and two: trying to unlearn bad behavior isn’t some great feat, it’s basic decency. Just like in the example you wouldn’t call the rich friend a hero for trying not make their poor friend upset again, because that’s basic decency - of course they shouldn’t make their friend upset again that’s what being a friend is! So in a similar vein being an ally to Poc is trying your best to not harm anymore, and to acknowledge that even if you’re not doing it intentionally you’re hurting others with your behavior and help uphold a harmful system as long as you just ignore and profit from it.

As an example for this just read some of the replies on the op you mentioned: there’s dozens of white people applauding themselves for being ‘not at all racist’ or saying it’s impossible for them to be racist because their parents are voting for democrats or because they themselves are part of a different marginalized community (eg a woman, or part of the lgbt+ community). when that is just. Not the case. Because racism is a learnt behavior that can never get rid of completely. Because people don’t just learn behaviors from their parents but also from the rest of society (and even if they’d only learn from their parents they will also have internalised racist behaviors). Because being part of one marginalized group doesn’t mean you automatically have perfect understanding of the struggles of everyone else and this are now infallible (if that were the case then please explain how the leader of Germany’s most notorious right wing extremist party is a lesbian woman). Etc etc.

So, does this mean you should self flaggate over every little mistake? No of course not. You should realize your mistake, accept it and try to unlearn the behavior that led to it. Constant self punishment doesn’t help and might just make matters worse. And more than that by self flaggelating you will end up forcing others to pity you for being sad, instead of rightfully pointing out your mistake or investing energy to help or learn themselves - which is especially isnidious if the people that have to ‘cheer you up’ are poc themselves. It will also prevent people from pointing out your mistakes in the future because they’ll be worried you’d self hate for it again, making it even harder for yourself to unlearn bad behaviors. (also yes this point might be a bit hypocritical for me because I tend to apologize a dozen times to everyone for any small mistake no matter what the mistake was even about, but that’s something I try to work on bettering because oh wow is that a toxic behavior, no matter how understandable it might be)

So, lastly, what can you do? You can realize your mistake. Accept it. Learn what caused it and why it was harmful. Try your best to not make this or similar mistakes again. Understand and accept that you will inevitably make mistakes again. Understand that you’re not infallible. Understand that you live in and profit off of a harmful system. Listen to people from the affected communities and accept their opinions. Help where you can - even if it’s just by being a good friend. And don’t victimize yourself in the process.

I hope this made it a bit less vague and made my tag clear. Also again: I’m not infallible either and since I’m white i also might make hurtful mistakes, so if there’s anything wrong in this reply or if I’m overstepping with this please let me know so I can try to fix that. Also for the same reason take my opinions and explanations with a grain of salt and look up what people from the actually affected communities have said about this topic.

I hope this was coherent enough and I wish you (and everyone else who might still be reading at this point) a great day, Anon! (Also : if youre able to and want to help people who are actually affected by racism there’s many organizations and causes that currently need the help! )

#anon ask

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