#ok !! just a friendly reminder for you guys i guess that im really mean!

[daydadahlias]

luke is getting his ass back… it’s over for ashton

ok so earlier today i got an ask that was like "what's something you've wanted to rant about but haven't been given the chance to" so i'm gonna cash in my chip w/ this one because this ask made me furious on multiple levels <3

firstly, the whole "luke lost his ass" shtick is fucking stupid as piss and i don't want to hear any of you talking about it (because ive heard?? several of you do it??). it's rude, weird, untrue, inappropriate, and it's also simply not funny <3 how can his ass come back if it never fucking went anywhere? why do you think it's even a good joke to make? Quit that shit now.

secondly, "it's over for ashton" dude ?? fr ?? i dont know why you think it's appropriate in any facet to try and put down another member of the band (especially THIS member of the band to THIS blog user) and try to say one of them has "superior" features?? ashton's ass is great, luke's ass is great, everybody's ass is great, can you please shut the fuck up and just appreciate all the ass the band has to offer?? bc, i promise, it's a lot of great ass!!

thirdly, why did you send this to an ashton blog? if you want to make a joke, consider learning how to be funny! and the first step to that is knowing your fucking audience!!

#pigeon #anon #me when i get really angry over small things <3 #except that it's not small bc it's a repeated pattern of y'all thinking it's ok to compare band member's bodies <3 especially ashton's <3 #and you can bebop around and be like 'i love this band member's X the most!' and i get that bc hey !! we all know who i love the most. #but to come into my ask box?? and say ?????? ashton's ass will somehow be worse or whatever bc luke's is 'coming back'? #when it never went anywhere. is actually incredibly demeaning and undermining to both of them!! #and i dont tolerate that :) #ok !! just a friendly reminder for you guys i guess that im really mean! #yeah i love ashton's ass a lot <3 so if u talk shit you'll get hit or whatever #ok byeee back to being <3 full of love and acceptance <33

[pridewhatpride]

do you have any gx rivalshipping hcs!! im super curious on your take of them :]

When I saw this ask my immediate reaction was thinking: "Yes, I have an excuse to talk about gx rivalshipping, YES."

So yeah. I love this ship a lot, like a whole damn lot and it's a little hard to explain why, especially when gx has so many open possibilities for romances involving Judai. By which I mean two, really, and Manjoume is not one of them (sadly for me). I am referring to Yubel and Johan, by the way, I refuse to acknowledge Asuka as a love interest.

I'll start off with a bit of fluff headcanons?

Manjoume thinks Winged Kuriboh is really cute and that its friendly and fluffy appearance screams Judai, in a way. But he will never admit it because of what that might imply for him and the Ojamas.

Manjoume is fueled by caffeine and monster, he only really starts to recognise how nice it can be to have a meal because of how much Judai enjoys his food. He tries to sit at the table with him with dumb excuses.

Judai feels a bit guilty for how his actions impacted Manjoume's life, but Manjoume generally tells him that it's fine, it's better this way, that he's never this happy, that the only reason why Judai should maybe feel bad about it is because of his tendency to get overly invested in other people's problems and getting hurt in the process. Judai responds with bear hugs.

Manjoume brags about Judai a lot, actually. "Oh you think that's cool? One time Judai managed to do a backflip, you loser." "Slifer reds suck, but they do have redeeming qualities, by which I mean one of them is actually good."

Judai likes to indulge himself in the thought that he's Manjoume's most trusted, that he's the only one who could ever be allowed to have that many incriminating pictures of him. Because Judai just loves taking candid pictures of Manjoume. He thinks he looks and and cool in every situation, so yeah. A part of him does it because he has an inexplicable fear of forgetting people and the way they look, but he just can't say why that is.

They hang out in silence a lot, but once they start talking they just never stop. You'll find them on the beach at 3 am with a smiling Manjoume listening to Judai go on about how crazy it is that you can fry food in so many different ways and how he once caught a butterfly as a kid and named it Kujaku.

They share their music a lot, so Manjoume's tastes switch from just emo to fast paced rap and the weirdly happy sounding songs about very morbid things Judai listens to (plus emo). Judai starts to enjoy a bit of angry screaming into microphones thanks to Jun. Do they sing along like idiots as they share earphones? Yes. Is Manjoume mesmerised by Judai's singing voice? Also yes.

Judai loves hiking and sometimes invites Manjoume, but because he's a lot weaker and has less stamina, they take it slow. Manjoume keeps cursing himself for being slow and dead weight, but Judai is just happy to have a companion. Admittedly, going slower makes the walks better as he has the time to enjoy the scenery properly. He never teases Jun about his lack of physical training.

Now... I wanted to talk about my general view on the ship, plus headcanons I guess, but this is going to be EVEN LONGER (you are getting more than you asked for, your fault for enabling me, really). For the sake of the sanity of mobile users, I'm adding a cut so nobody has to unwillingly scroll through endless text.

On to the the juice, then. My thoughts on the ship. Manjoume and Judai are, of course, the rivals of the series and, if my thoughts on rivalry weren't clear enough, I am one of those people. It's just really romantic to me. What is very interesting about the two of them specifically is that they are polar opposites in the way the reason why they play, throughout the whole series. Hell, their views end up getting reversed completely: Manjoume goes from "if I don't win I'm gonna have a breakdown breakdown" to "losing is ok, as long as I enjoy the game and am true to myself", while Judai does the 180 from "I really just love playing cards with my friends, who cares about the outcome, it's fun" to "I have card game related trauma, nobody speak to me, games are only an excuse to assert a sort of power scale and honestly fuck that".

Manjoume is sort of the only person in the 'friend group' (he's never actually part of it, sadly, literally only Judai and Fubuki like him) to not idolise Judai, not explicitly. He clearly has an admiration for Judai from the beginning, but he is adamant on expressing it as hatred towards for being better than him. A part of me feels that a lot of his superior act is meant to try and fool himself and Jaden into thinking that he's a worthy rival, because I know for a fact that Manjoume doesn't believe that. He wants it to be true, yes.

What I am trying to get at is that Judai is probably a little confused by the fact that Manjoume doesn't drool all over him like the rest of the school does, but it soon becomes a crutch. Judai is under a lot of pressure because he is the hero who will save everyone and people like to remind him of how much they count on him. Manjoume is in it for Judai. He wants to be acknowledged by him, he wants his recognition and his attention, but he never asks for help or expects Judai to fix his problems for him. Judai is probably thankful for that.

Manjoume is also really scared of being left behind and cast aside as soon as he stops being useful and that's exactly what the writers do to him!!! hooray!, but Judai keeps insisting that he's not a bad guy, that he's fun to be around, that he's competent. Manjoume doesn't really believe all that that much, but Jaden keeps playing him despite his repeated losses and to Jun that's the equivalent of someone kissing his tears away. Manjoume only learns to accept his losses and shortcomings because Judai did it for him first.

So basically Manjoume is the only one who fully sees Judai as a person, while Judai is the only one who is really willing to look past his pretentious facade. I fully believe that Judai was relieved to learn that Manjoume was not just a perfect boy with perfect manners, by the way. They both just love to learn about every imperfection that the other has and silently thinking that they just add to the beauty of the other's character. Will they tease eachother about it? Fuck yes. Do they feel awful when the other tries to fix something about themselves because they pointed it out? Also fuck yes.

They are in a dumb competition against themselves to be better in order to earn the right to be friends with eachother, but because they are fucking dumb they never actually communicate (until they do), so for a long time it's endless pining that is definitely not gay because admittedly Judai just doesn't think that dating is a thing, while Manjoume is straight™, really straight. He has never liked a boy in his life, he's so very fucking straight, I swear.

So Manjoume is a bisexual disaster (and in my headcanon he prefers boys, actually, the Asuka incident is the biggest example of denial™ ever. He prefers Fubuki, fight me over this). The problem is that he never really considered he might be crushing on Judai, but at the same time admitting to maybe liking boys too means that there was more to wanting to stay at DA, to hanging out with Judai's crew despite their mutual dislike, to his continuous playful headlocks and ear pulling. To add onto that, there is probably a certain amount of guilt over having betrayed that bond with Judai by trying to throw away his cards and everything. Judai, on the other hand... is confused at how bothered he is by the public declarations of love, because Manjoume is his rival and rivals are supposed to focus on eachother, not on some girl, no matter how good said girl is at card games.

So maybe they are a bit gay for eachother. And maybe they just want excuses to be together as much as possible. And it's really just the vibe of highschool romance between two people who don't want to admit to caring for one another on a deeper level, but are also weirdly possessive of eachother for no apparent reason. And I think I'll stop here with my gay retelling, but really if you look at the two of them you do see that they do a lot for eachother's characters. It's kind of beautiful, really. They are the two socially inept characters who find comfort in someone being just like them and understanding them as they change and grow up.

I have a lot to say about how that changes once the transfer students come in, but I think I've bored everyone for long enough- as in nobody will read this lol. That's ok. I thank you again for the ask and for allowing me to gush about this ship that is so close to my heart. If anyone ever wants to talk about them, just. Do. Break into my house at night and I still won't mind, I just want to talk about them.

#shut me up #i'm so sorry #i started and i couldn't stop #i also didn't want to be disappointing by giving an half-assed response #i've thought about this ask all night #i still improvised the whole thing and i'm sure you can tell #yugioh #ygo #yugioh gx #ygo gx #gx rivalshipping #manjoume jun #jun manjoume #chazz princeton #yuki judai #judai yuki #jaden yuki

[liquidstar]

hi i saw your post bout pro ship going around and Im?? I mean you deleted it so I guess that means u changed ur mind (i also read ur other asks so I know ur not One of Those)

i just find it so weird that pro ship is associated with pedophilia bc like..I always thought it meant "idc if u ship stucky or stony go ship whatever u want"! but now this whole thing reminds me of steven universe fans making an artist depressed for drawing a character thinner or lighter and bc of that i find myself siding with Pro-ship rather than those... but I just wish people dont think pro ship meant oh! i support incest and lolicon ://

as someone in the spectrum this whole discourse is especially so difficult. i also dont want to get "cancelled" when i say Pro-ship (the one with the meaning i believe in) is good bc I really dont want drama at all, but the term that I thought that should he positive and drama free IS the drama itself. ugh. sorry for the rant.

but anyways that post you deleted about hitting people with car is :/ yikes. it just gives me Toxic Fandom vibes, death threats arent cool no matter who it is. im glad you deleted it! posts similar to that are the reason why I feel like "pro ship" looks less toxic tbh even if I dont have any problematic ships and I dont approve of them either.

sorry if this ask is long! I just type this way when im thinking of a lot of things!

anon.... i deleted the post bc i was sick of getting pedo apologists writing essays in my notes about why jacking off to child porn is actually ok and healthy and getting harassment from them. yeah, surprise surprise, the people who defend cp harass people and only use the "harassment" thing as a way to create a weird strawman character to gain the moral highground. but it was the "pro shippers" who just a few months back harassed a voice actor with images of cp because they said they were uncomfortable with it because of their trauma. clearly though theyre the good guys who want safety in fandom spaces, right anon?

i stand by everything i said 100% and if you cant understand why youre either ignorant or lack critical thinking completely based on the way you just assume that Obviously i must have come around to the "pro ship" way despite its links to pedo apologism. if the fine line between you and someone who jacks off to lolicon hentai is so thin you need to distinguish between it every time you talk about it theres a problem. there is no "good version" of it, its just a foot-in-the-door tactic to make you slowly become more OK with their batshit logic over time. its intentionally designed that way. of-fucking-course people associate "pro-ship" with pedophilic content, you yourself literally had to distinguish between those parts of the "community" and i feel like i need to remind you that the whole "pro-ship" thing came side-by-side with MAPs but was later watered down to seem more friendly and welcoming, to trick people into thinking its just a friendly fandom place.

as if you cant be against harassment or bad faith media criticism without being "pro ship". similarly you can be against pedophilic content w/o being an "anti" and i dont consider myself one bc thats a huge strawman caricature, even you yourself used phrasing in that regard lol, i guess im not "one of those" because im not someone with weird "us-vs-them" groupthink. but that being said im obviously against the community that welcomes people who blindly support cp based on an all-or-nothing mentality and borderline cultlike tactics built into it, ones that youre playing straight into. if you have good intent get the fuck out of there while you still can and start examining yourself more. and get the fuck out of your own head with this fear of being "canceled"

idk which post you read that you took that away that i "changed my mind" but go read these instead instead of projecting what you must think is the "correct opinion" onto me

#also the fact that anon thought the post was advocating hitting ppl with cars is just stupid in of itself i dont even have to refuse that #thats just no reading comprehension at all #but pro shippers dont have that in general #theyre the ones that thing narratives dont have meanings that represent real world concepts lmao

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Hi! Can I ask for la squadra reacts to a Ghost in their base who love singing like a siren. But other members can't see or hear.

This is my first asking, im not sure of i did it correct.

Thank you so much♥️♥️

you did wonderful!!! i LOVE this concept. i wrote more general 'la squadra if their base was haunted' stuff here so i'll be working off of that

this one's dedicated to both the ghost that would hum in this one washroom at my high school when no one else was there and melissa the beautiful scene queen ghost that haunts my house and sings fall out boy and mcr with us 🙌

la squadra with a singing ghost in their base 🎶

first and foremost all of them would probably make sure it's not a stand attack and THEN would make sure they're not hallucinating but once those explanations are out of the way, here's what would follow

risotto ✂️

he's mostly just kinda confused but he doesn't let it bother him. he's a logical dude: you can't prove ghosts but you can't exactly disprove them either so he's just kinda like.... ok i guess

the singing is nice, actually. eerie but very beautiful. as long as he can still sleep, he doesn't mind. if he can't sleep, he may like.... politely ask please no singing while he's trying to sleep? he really doesn't know how to talk to a ghost. but they seem nice.

he won't go out of his way to either interact with them or avoid them and it doesn't really bother him that no one else can see or hear them. they just kinda peacefully coexist.

if the others ask him about it, he'll tell them straight up about the singing ghost, as long as the ghost doesn't appear distressed about being known to the others. but he doesn't want this ghost thing to distract them either, so he reminds everyone to keep their heads on.

prosciutto 🚬

prosciutto is dumbfounded. for real? a ghost? this is ridiculous! and why is he the only one who can see or hear it? he's just kind of annoyed by it more than anything.

the singing is rather lovely, though. if there's too much noise going on in the house and he's getting a headache, that's probably the first time he'd try like, talking to them? to be like, please--and he feels ridiculous just talking to thin air or an apparition--no singing rn. he will begrudgingly thank them when they stop, and while he's at it he may as well let them know that they do have a beautiful voice there's just too much noise right now. the ghost seems to like the compliment.

it's very soothing otherwise. maybe after some time has passed since that first interaction and he's the only one in the house, he may ask why he's the only one who can see or hear them, cause he is a bit curious. whether the ghost has an explanation or not, he'll just kinda be like aight then

really he's a bit curious about the whole ghosts existing thing in general but he just kinda takes what he's presented with. may not give straightforward answers about the whole ghost thing if the others are making a ruckus about it, at least at first, cause he doesn't want to rile em all up.

pesci 🎣

YEAH, HES FUCKIN SCARED. he can't explain it, he can't get rid of it with his stand, and now he feels embarrassed b/c he thinks he seems either incompetent or silly. in reality at least the others know that lying isn't his style so some of them are starting to wonder if he is seeing something unexplainable

the singing gets his teeth chattering. sure, it's pretty, but it's chilling. catch him hiding under the blankets with his pillow pressed over his ears.

he may very meekly ask the ghost to leave him be if they're around him and he'll leave them alone too. way too scared to interact with them and avoids them almost at all costs.

won't initiate conversation about it. some of the others may goad him on to freak him out more. be nice to pesci you losers!!!!! >:( but even if someone asks nicely about it he won't want to talk about it much but he'll be relieved that someone believes him.

formaggio 🧀

yeah, all cockiness goes out the window when he realizes it's a ghost. like, he tries his best to cling onto the attitude, but honey he is freaked out. no ghostes for him thanks

the singing gives him shivers. he'll be like HAHA YEAH.... REAL NICE VOICE YA GOT..... BUT IM NOT GONNA FALL FOR THAT....... U AINT POSSESSIN ME but the ghost is literally just chillin. he doesn't trust like that tho

may try some methods of banishment he remembers from his nonna. even if they don't work in the sense of forcing them to disappear or leave, the ghost probably still gets the message and leaves him be.

will insist with a hand over his heart that yes there IS a fucking ghost and no way in HELL is he fuckin w/ it or joking HES NOT JOKING HE SWEARS, but will puff up his chest like yea i told that ghost to get lost!!!! my love you are fooling no one everyone heard you shrieking like a little baby.

illuso ✨

he's actually a bit freaked. thought it was ridiculous until he actually couldn't find an explanation for it and it's unnerving that he was somehow singled out. should he be flattered? yes yes he knows he's lovely and cool but please don't only show your ghost activities to him or preferably no ghost activities at all

because he's freaked out he may lose his cool and yell into the air to shut up with the singing, which really does not help him feel any better.

with time, he may just get used to it, seeing as the ghost doesn't really do much aside from being a ghost and sing. he might come to appreciate the singing for how pretty it is, too.

will use the opportunity to scare everyone and definitely won't give straightforward answers just for the fuck of it

melone 🍈

VERY fascinated. thrilled, honestly! how fucking cool is it that there's a ghost right in front of him? too bad the others can't see or hear it, but he supposes that makes him lucky.

will compliment the ghost on their beautiful voice and ask a whole bunch of questions. why is he the only one who can see or hear them? do they like to sing just because? are they bound to the base, or to him, or something else keeping them tethered to this world? do they know what's beyond? can they see or interact with their stands? souls exist, seeing as someone's stand is a manifestation of it, so are ghosts souls without bodies? or something else?

he's just very curious and friendly, maybe a bit overbearing, but he's just excited. even with all his questions, he avoids asking how they died cause even though social cues aren't his strong point (especially with the dead????), he still figures that must be pretty rude to say the least. he may happily sway to whatever tune they're singing or find himself humming it later.

will be very excited to share this with everyone as long as the ghost is okay with that. doesn't care if he sounds silly or the others don't believe him, that's not his problem. will assuage any fears from the ones who are more scared by the idea of a ghost (they're just a person!)

ghiaccio ❄️

this is dumb!!! ghosts aren't supposed to be real!!!! that doesn't make any sense!!!!! goes on a rant about how ghosts don't make sense, and maybe he'd be less ticked off if they made sense. like, sure, souls exist cause stands exist. but like, what the fuck? he's honestly not scared, just annoyed.

it's extra annoying how he's the only one who can see or hear them. he's another one who gets irritated when there's too much noise in the house, so he'll yell to cut it out with the singing, if you're gonna make him talk to the air and do ghost nonsense at least don't bug him with it!!!! but soft singing in the quiet is actually very relaxing. he'll find himself sighing and just about falling asleep to it.

he's not good with words and how the fuck does he talk to a ghost but over time he may be like hey.... nice singing. when the other assholes aren't being noisy too. he'll still grumble about it not making sense until he makes sense of it, but he gets used to it.

on that front, he may actually talk to melone about it. he thinks a lot of melone's pseudoscience stuff is nonsense but he's got something concrete right here and he wants to understand it and melone is great at working with weird ideas so they try to make sense of ghosty things

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're both just kinda like. well i'll be. sorbet isn't bothered by it, gelato is like oooo how chilling but isn't like, actually scared. he's the one who may fucking flirt with the ghost like oh my is there a reason it's only us who can hear your pretty voice?? ;) sorbet thinks that's pretty funny.

and their voice is pretty! they both really like the singing, they find it beautiful and soothing and it keeps things interesting on base. what's not to love?

sorbet continues just doin his thing, but he will nod to the ghost in greeting when he sees them and exists comfortably with them, he's very chill about it. gelato will chatter and joke and flirt and be like hey let's duet this [SCREAMS] just to fuck around and see if he can make them laugh

they will both absolutely play it up to freak out the others. eventually if their antics get to be too bothersome risotto will tell them to cut it out, and they'll be like 'no problem capo, there really is a ghost tho' and then that causes a whole new wave of fuckery through the squad because even sorlato aren't crazy enough to lie to risotto's face after he told them to knock it off which means there is a ghost but HOW MUCH IS TRUE AND HOW MUCH IS THE TWO OF THEM FUCKING AROUND??? it never ends with these guys.

#THANKS FOR UR PATIENCE I LOVE PARANORMAL STUFF AND THIS WAS RLY FUN #la squadra #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #illuso #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #vento aureo #ask

[residentevildash-moved]

why dont you wanna play re2make?

short answer: it simply doesnt appeal to me

long answer: going under cut LOL

[warning its really long and i start to sound mean near the end i think]

re2make lands in a specific & unfortunate spot where i cant enjoy it at face value as a res evil game, and i cant enjoy it in a dismissive "woah look how crazy this is lol" way, either. it just irks me a lot. ill try to explain

my first res evil game was the re1 remake, which was very faithful to the orig re1, in terms of gameplay and style. i LOVED this. then i went to play the next game in the series, and went for the re2 remake, since i (naive, new to this cruel world) figured it was a remake like the re1 remake, in terms of style & stuff, and. um! well. it isnt! right? its different, since it was made in 2019, and REmake was in......2002? i want to say? hold on. . . yeah 2002. so of course they werent going for the same style of remake. they were making it to appeal to modern game audiences, so it was less of a 1:1 and more of a re-imagining. and it doesnt try to say otherwise, it knows that its a re-telling/re-imagining, i was just not expecting that (again, naive, unaware of the hell that is capcom games)

right, so, i played maybe 5 minutes of re2r, and was like "i dont like this, im just going to play the original re2" and did that. i loved re2 a lot. i mean. <3 <3 <3 . so, as someone who's now attached to the orig re2, i have my perceptions of each of the characters and everything all living in the delicate ecosystem of my brain; near and dear 2 me etc. re2make is a whole different animal, and if it interacts with said ecosystem, all the little bugs are going to explode and blood disaster forever. this brings us to the section of my answer where i explain my beef with re2 remake leon

[id: "My beef with re2make Leon" in all caps]

i just dont like him. i dont like what they did with his character, i dont like how he looks, and i hate how fans talk about him, which he is unfortunately getting blamed for since seeing him reminds me of the vile shit that ive seen (whoever made the naked sexy whatever leon mod(?) is going to hell and im smashing them with hammers). ok. taking a step back. what actually wrong with him?

the simple answer is "hes just not leon." leon, in re2, is kind of a bitch, a guy who got blackout drunk (bc he was upset abt a breakup) the night before driving into raccoon city to be like 8 hours late for the first day of his job. which turned out to be zombies. which he fought while hungover the entire time. while being ridiculous & stupid. re2make 'leon' (i need the ' ' for my own sanity) is just some regular guy who doesnt have any of that going on. he has a lukewarm, generic personality and could be named matthew and it wouldnt make a difference. design wise, re2make 'leon' was also made to look friendly(?), or whatever the fuck, and his haircut is more generic, while re2 leon looks kind of mean (on purpose) and has the iconic curtain bangs. theyre just different characters, so it irks me that the re2r guy is considered to be leon. i know its subjective, but this is all just my opinion anyways. i do appreciate his existence though, because hes fodder for horny people, dbd players, and annoying people who call anything that moves a twink. its like this

so thanks 2 him for that

i also dont like what they did to claire, sinc she looks like debbie ryan and her dialogue is less cool. shes just lamer and more .. i dont know. generic Girl. claire is a badass and re2r claire is kind of nothing, but not as nothing as 'leon.' i just feel bad for what capcom did to her

you may have seen my other response to an ask abt wtrc, where i said i was ok with it being different from the source, so i just wanted to add that its different with re2r because 1. it takes itself seriously, 2. its a videogame so thats many hours of psychological torment as opposed to 1-2 hours 3. avan jogia as leon

i hope this answers your question? i guess the true answer is that i cannot play it because it will make me mad. i think its a fine game for other people to like, like, its a generic whatever """resident evil""" experience, but i just really dislike its entire angle. heres my fav image ive made abt this

and some bonus re2 pics/concept art if you made it to the end thanks for reading

#also keep in mind i. mental illness #my posts #asks #anon #alt answer: i just cant stand modern triple A games

[cherrybracelets]

Heat Waves

weed dealer!mgg x reader 

masterlist | requests

word count: 5.5k | warnings: 18+ content! drugs and alcohol mentions and usage. no smut but partying!

summary: your brother has a new roommate, and fuck, you might be in love with him? 

song inspo : heat waves - glass animals 

an: this gif is how i imagine him in this fic like w glasses but way less nerdy ahahha ok well whatever idk if im gonna continue this or just leave it as is lmk what yall think ok byeee

You stumbled up the steps of the subway, the heavy cardboard box you were holding slipping out of your hands as you made your way above ground. You tried to adjust your grip on it and almost fell backwards, shaking your head in frustration. The box was filled with all the random shit your brother had left at your place over the past few months as he was trying to find a place to live, sleeping on different couches of random friends. It was almost all useless stuff, which made the fact that you had to hand deliver it all to him even more frustrating.

You walked tirelessly down the street, gripping harshly on to the box. You pushed your way through people, not caring at all that you probably looked insane as you yelled for people to move so you could just get there and fucking put this box down. You finally came upon the building, sighing with relief as you set the box on the steps and rang the buzzer.

“I’m here,” you groaned into the speaker, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand.

“Hello!” A cheery voice responded over the intercom. A voice that was definitely not your brothers. “Who exactly is here?”

“Oh, sorry- I might have the wrong apartment. Is this 4B?”

“Yeah! You must be Danny’s sister. Come on up.” The door buzzed loudly as it unlocked, and you grabbed onto the handle quickly, lugging in the box behind you. You were extremely grateful when you saw the elevator, quietly thanking the universe that you didn’t have to walk up four flights of stairs with this thousand pound box.

You took the elevator up to the fourth floor, your body exhausted as you leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. You closed your eyes, hoping that maybe a five second nap could give you your energy back. But unfortunately, the elevator stopped and opened its doors, urging you to once again pick up the box and be on your way. You dropped your head to the floor and sighed, using the last of your energy to pick up the box and walk down the long hallway to apartment 4B.

Thankfully the apartment wasn’t too far from the elevator, and you only had a short walk until you came upon the door of his new place. You noticed a welcome mat on the floor that read ‘Bachelor Pad’, and you rolled your eyes at the pure douchiness of the thing. God, your brother was a prick. But, nevertheless, you loved him, he was family. Despite being one of the most annoying people you’d ever met.

You knocked slowly on the door, excited to throw the box into someone else’s arms and run home. It was your day off from work, and all you wanted was to throw on some sweats, eat frozen mac and cheese and watch Jeopardy until you fell asleep on the couch. The perfect day.

The door swung open, and the man who was definitely not your brother stood on the other side, a large smile plastered across his picture perfect face. His messy curls hung across his face, and he pushed them away before reaching out to you to grab the box.

“Let me get that for you,” he said quietly, literally lifting the weight off your shoulders as he grabbed it effortlessly. The muscles in his arms protruded as he set the box down on an old dining table they had set up in the kitchen, a cluster of mismatched chairs along with it.

“Thanks,” you said back, your eyes still trailing over his body, watching him closely. “Is, uh, is my brother here?” You stuttered to get your words out, your eyes still locked on the model-like man in front of you.

“No, he just ran out actually. Went to pick up a couch or something.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He told me he would be here!” You shook your head in annoyance, crossing your arms over your chest, which pushed out your cleavage slightly. You caught the man glancing at your breasts, and felt your heart start beating a bit faster. He wasn’t even trying to the fact that he was staring at you. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. He really was supposed to be here to get this.”

“It’s not a problem at all. He told me you’d be stopping by. I’m Matt, by the way. I’m sure he’s told you about me.” He stuck out his hand, and you reached back and grabbed it. His hands were soft, but the tips of his fingers stained black, the familiar site of a smoker. The air hung the smell of stale pot smoke, so it was pretty easy to put together that he was a heavy weed guy. 

“I’m (Y/N). And, uh, no, actually. He hasn’t told me, like anything about you. Just that he knows you from work and you’re a ‘pretty decent guy’,” you laughed, letting go of his hand but desperately wanting to hold on to it forever. You didn’t really understand why, but something about his touch was so comforting, it made you feel like coming home after a long day.

“Uh, I was just about to smoke a bowl actually, if you’d like to join. Your brother told me you smoke,” Matt said, motioning to the coffee table covered in various paraphernalia.

“I don’t make a habit of smoking with strangers,” you responded sharply, realizing immediately how bitchy you must’ve sounded and wishing you could take it back. You scrunched your face a bit, cringing as you replayed the sentence over and over in your head.

“But I’m not a stranger! I’m Matt! Besides, this is fantastic stuff- I just got it from my guy the other day, knocks your socks off,” he giggled, his eyes wide as he wanted to desperately for you to say yes.

“Well, I guess I really can’t say no to free weed,” you shrugged, following him over to the old couch they had set up in their under furnished living room. It was exactly how you pictured your brothers apartment to look- disappointing and not at all coordinated.

“Sorry about the place, we’re trying to make it look nice but we’re not exactly interior decorators.” He shook his head as he looked around the room, before picking up his freshly packed bowl and lighting it.

“Yeah, it looks pretty frat-housey in here. I would expect more from you, but not from my brother,” you giggled, taking the glass pipe from Matt’s hands and enjoying it yourself.

“Why me?”

“Well... I don’t know...” you stuttered, shaking your head and trying to pull together a sentence. “You just seem to have... more style, I guess. Seem more put together.”

“I appreciate that. I do try extremely hard to not look like a douche.” He smiled kindly at you, his eyes shining with the reflection of the lighter as the two of you continued to share the bowl.

You made small talk for a bit, feeling the calm of the marijuana taking over your body. The old couch suddenly became much more comfortable as you sunk back into it, staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Matt was talking quietly behind you, trying to tell some story about him and your brother; but you were only half listening, losing yourself in your own thoughts of him. Thinking about the softness of his lips as he inhaled and exhaled, watching his hands flex tireless to work the lighter, noticing how his body seemed to relax more and more with each hit.

He tilted his head towards you, flicking the lighter with his thumb and escaping in the flame. He had lost himself in it, a comfortable silence coming down over the room. You watched the flame, too, trying to see whatever beauty he saw in it- but you weren’t feeling anything, and getting pretty antsy. You turned away from him, staring into the kitchen and hoping to see something edible from this distance. You weren’t sure what kind of food two men like this would bring into their home, but you were sure it was nothing good. Your stomach grumbled at the thought of something to eat, and you fell back into the couch with a groan.

“You okay?” Matt whispered, turning his face towards you and staring at your eyes.

“Mhmm,” you responded, not having the energy to respond at the moment.

“You are extremely beautiful,” he mumbled, his eyes exploring your face, finding themselves locked on your lips no matter how hard he tried to look away.

“What?” You snickered, replaying the words in your head, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be weird. It’s just shocking to me how beautiful you are. Like a piece of art; I can’t take my eyes away.”

“You’re joking.” You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his arm playfully, trying to hide the obvious delight in your face.

“Why do you think I’m joking?”

“I just don’t hear that very often.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” He frowned, looking down at his hands and playing with his over bitten nails.

“Sorry, I mean, I appreciate it of course. Fuck, sorry, I get so awkward when I’m high. Not very good at holding conversations.”

“Well, now that we’re friends I’ll make sure to remind you how beautiful you are as often as I can.” Matt placed his hand on yours lightly, at first only as a friendly touch, but feeling a comfort in the embrace. His thumb moved slowly, the small movement between your flesh overwhelming you with desire. Your eyes were locked on his, an intoxicating silence overcoming the room. You opened your mouth to speak, not sure exactly what to say, but the sound of the door unlocking breaking you from your daze. You pulled your hand away from his quickly and jumped off the couch, watching as the door opened and your brother walked in.

“Heyo!” Danny, your brother yelled, greeting the two of you with a large smile. “I see you’ve met my sister!”

“Yes, uh, yeah. We were just chatting,” Matt said defensively, trying to avoid eye contact with you.

“I was just waiting for you to get back. That’s all.” You responded, nodding your head quickly.

“How sweet! Just in time to help me get the new couch up!”

“Absolutely not. I brought your box, that's all the free labor you are getting out of me.” You laughed awkwardly, looking back at Matt, who was still avoiding you.

“Alright, whatever, but don’t ever ask me for anything ever again.” Danny rolled his eyes, throwing his phone down on the counter and grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

“Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow night for my party?” You asked, heading towards the door.

“Oh, right! I almost forgot. Is it cool if I bring Matt?” 

You looked at Matt, who finally looked back at you, and you nodded slowly.

“Of course. I’ll see you guys then.” You smiled at the two of them, gave a small wave and left, closing the door loudly behind you. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Was he flirting with you? Or was he just high? You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the wall, trying to compose yourself before heading home.

***************

There was nothing that stressed you out more than when your roommate threw her chaotic ‘get togethers’ every other Friday at your place. It was always an exhausting mess, and now you had to think about Matt coming along as well. You hadn’t stopped thinking about your weird intimate moment together, and the thought of seeing him again made your stomach do backflips.

There was something about him that made you feel so comfortable, so at home. But he’s friends with your brother... he has to be a scumbag. Right? And what kind of guy just walks around telling random girls they’re beautiful. He was definitely just trying to sleep with you. Which of course you wanted to sleep with him too, obviously. But he was the kind of guy that you could find yourself falling for, and getting hurt, badly. He was the kind of guy that would break your heart. You could tell. And you could not let him in, no matter how much you wanted to.

Tonight has to be all about ignoring him. You cannot let him be alone with you, because the moment he’s alone with you and starts calling you beautiful again with his pretty face and intoxicating voice and touching your hand... you were playing a dangerous game. You closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh, trying to push the thoughts of him out of your head when you were interrupted.

“What are you doing? I told you to get the cups set out like 20 minutes ago!” Your roommate rolled her eyes, pushing you to the side and laying out the cups herself.

“Sorry, Callie. Just a bit distracted today.”

“I can tell. What’s going on with you? You were weird all night last night.”

“Just tired I guess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go set the drinks out.” You walked away quickly, hoping she would be too focused on her party planning to ask any more questions. Whenever you told her about a new guy, she was stupidly optimistic. And you really didn’t need her telling you to go for it when your brain was giving you the exact opposite advice. She just shrugged, turned around and went back to mindlessly setting up. You felt relief wash over you as she looked away, and you could once again get lost in your own thoughts and anxieties.

You mindlessly laid cups and other dumb decorations out, Matt’s face continuously crossing your mind. You found yourself smiling every time you played his words over in your head. His voice like silk as it wrapped around your body, warmth flowing through you as his lips whispered ‘You are extremely beautiful’ over and over again. You felt your heart racing, and you took a deep breath as you were brought back into reality by the vibration of your phone in your pocket.

You grabbed it, only to see you had multiple missed calls from your brother. ‘Fuck’, you thought. He knew, he somehow knew about your little flirt session with Matt. You shook your head in distress, preparing for the oncoming conversation as you reluctantly pressed the answer button and brought the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut to bear the impending rage from your brother.

“Jesus, I've called you like 18 times? What’s your deal?” He laughed, his voice full of his normal light and cheery tone. You took a sigh of relief after you realized he didn’t know a thing.

“Sorry, uh, helping Callie set everything up. Must’ve put my phone down and forgot it somewhere.”

“Well I need to know what liquor and illegal substances you’d like me to bring tonight- I’ve only got like an hour!” He said urgently.

“Uh, honestly whatever you want. We’ve got a few bottles here but nothing you’d like, probably.”

“You sound distracted, you all good?” You could head the concern in his voice, and you rolled your eyes aggressively.

“Everyone keeps asking me that today and it’s pretty annoying. I’m just trying to set up a party I don’t really want to be involved in and everyone keeps bothering me!”

“Jesus, grumpy pants. Looks like someone needs a nap... or a blunt.” Danny laughed quietly, and you bit your tongue to stop yourself from yelling at him again.

“Sorry. On edge today. Don’t want to talk about it.”

“No worries. I’ll see you later, okay? Try and cheer up a bit by then, I’d like to make a good impression on Matt.” Danny hung up quickly after that, and the word ‘Matt” kept ringing in your head over and over like a church bell. You put your phone down on the table and looked up at Callie, who was adjusting your work on the cups table.

“I need a drink,” you groaned.

“A little pregame shot, I love it!” She squealed, prancing over to the bottles and pouring shots for the two of you. You downed yours quickly, letting the liquor burn through your insides. You were hoping, after enough of it, it would burn through any thoughts you had of him. 

After another shot, the next hour before the guests arrived flew by. Callie put on some music and you danced your worries away, deciding which outfit to wear by rampaging through your closet. You kept fighting the urge to look as sexy as possible, one half of you wanting Matt’s jaw to drop as soon as he saw you, and the other half wanting him to ignore you all night. You couldn’t resist the temptation, though, and chose an extremely well fitting and low cut dress that accentuated all of your best features perfectly.

“God, you are literally the perfect specimen,” Callie giggled as you walked out of your room to show off. “Who the fuck are you trying to impress?”

“No one!” You responded, raising your eyes at her. “Can’t I just look good for myself?”

“Not that good. That is for someone. I know you.” You were saved by the ringing of your doorbell, and you smiled, relieved.

“Whatever you say. Go welcome your guests,” you motioned to the door. Callie just rolled her eyes and walked gleefully over to the entryway to welcome your first partygoers.

A few more groups of people rolled in, and you paid no attention as you were too busy making yourself another strong drink. You poured sloppily into the cup, giggling as splashes of soda and vodka spilled down the sides of your cup.

“You better watch out there, pretty girl. Making quite a mess.”

You turned around quickly, Matt’s voice making you jump in surprise.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled brightly, his perfect face begging to be touched, adored, kissed. You looked at every part of him, every beautiful part of him, stuttering to get words out.

“No... you’re... it’s okay. Sorry.” You put the bottle back down on the table and picked up your cup, taking a large swig, and nearly gagging on the taste of the strong liquor.

“Can I get in there and make a drink?” His eyes travelled up and down your body, his lips slightly pursing at the sight of you. You felt your heart pounding through your chest and he eyed you. His eyes finally locked on yours, his gaze paralyzing, your body refusing to move.

“Of course. We have lots of options. Anything you want,” you managed to squeak out, still unable to draw yourself away from his gaze. His eyes didn’t leave yours, and he smiled slightly, reaching his hand out to grab a bottle. For a split second you thought he was reaching out to touch you, and when you thought about the feeling of his skin on yours, you felt yourself melt. Desire and craving washed over your body in a wave that you couldn’t push away even if you tried.

“Thank you. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).” He finally looked away, and began walking back towards the small group of people who had gathered in your living room, including Callie and your brother. You felt relief as you were able to breath again, your body relaxing as he got farther and farther away. You waited a few moments before following him to join the rest of your friends.

“Ah, there you are, my sister!” Danny yelled, wrapping you in his arms so abruptly that you almost spilled your drink everywhere.

“Hey bud!” You hugged him back, grateful to have someone here to take your mind off of Matt.

“We were just about to play a fun little ice breaker game, since Matt is new to the group and all,” Danny motioned to Matt, who smiled and waved awkwardly as everyone stared at him.

“An ice breaker, really? What is this, college orientation?” You joked, taking another swig of your intensely strong drink.

“Shut up. Don’t be such an ass.” Danny rolled his eyes and pointed to an empty seat, and you realized it wasn’t worth fighting him. He loved to play stupid little games like this, that everyone else dreaded. But you have to admit, everyone always ended up having fun at the end of the day.

“What’s the game, Danny boy?” Callie cooed, getting comfy on the couch between a few of your other friends. She always had the biggest crush on him, although you forbid her from ever getting near him. It wasn’t her, you loved her and would love it even more if she was your sister. But he was such a dick, you knew he would break her heart, and you would not stand for that.

“Easy, everyone shares one surprising fact about themselves.”

“Oh god, I don’t think I have any,” someone moaned, and Danny just laughed.

“No worries, plenty of time to think. I can start. Uh.... I slept with my professors wife in college as revenge for him giving me a C- on my final.” Danny smiled proudly and took a long swig of beer. The group around you just groaned in disgust and laughed, but you knew the story. That wasn’t the entirety of it at all, in fact, Danny had fallen desperately in love with this woman and she crushed his heart by choosing her husband over him. But he would never tell all of that, because that doesn’t sound cool. Apparently you weren’t the only one who knew the truth, though, because Matt instinctively turned to you and looked at you in a way that read, ‘This guy is so full of shit.’ Apparently Matt and your brother were closer than you though, if he told him his biggest secret. 

“Hmm, Matt, I think you should be next. Only fair since you’re the new guy.” Danny turned to Matt with an excited face, like a little kid on christmas.

“Oh man, alright. Well, I guess one thing that people have a hard time believing about me is that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I believe in soul mates, love at first sight. All of that bullshit. I’m a sucker for it.” Matt looked right at you as the words spilled out of his mouth, not even trying to hide the obviousness of what he was trying to say. You tried your best to look away from him, but you couldn’t pretend his words weren’t entrapping you.

“That’s super corny, bro,” Danny laughed, pushing Matt slightly. He just shrugged, and took a sip of vodka straight from the bottle. Danny bothered a few more people about their secrets, and you listened intently to stories about shoplifting and coke addictions, trying to avoid his obvious gaze. You knew he was staring at you, his eyes burning holes in your body as the liquor started to flow through him. He wanted you, he craved you, in a way he had never experienced before.

Love at first sight had always been a myth to you; something in books and movies. Fiction. Until you heard the words slip from his mouth. Love at first sight, soul mates. It was all impossible. But why couldn’t you stop thinking of him. Why did his state send shivers through your body? Why did it feel like you had been waiting for him your entire life, even though you just met?

“(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” You heard Danny yell, bringing you out of your thoughts once again.

“Uh... what’s going on again?” You murmured, the alcohol overcoming your brain as you tried to remember the dumb activity you were being forced to participate in.

“Alright, you might need to slow down on the drinks girl.” Callie laughed, pointing at the cup in your hand.

“I’m fine. Just lost my train of thought!”

“Tell us a surprising fact about yourself,” Matt chimed in, a flirtatious smile plastered across his face.

“Uh, right. Well... I have a really huge record collection. It’s kind of my hobby.” You shrugged, nodding your head slowly as the group around you seemed let down by the less than flashy secret.

“You’re kidding! I collect vinyls too. I have like a thousand,” Mattresponded, his eyes lighting up at the realization that he finally had a way to talk to you.

“You should show him your collection, (Y/N), it’s ridiculously impressive,” Callie said, nodding in excitement. Your heart stopped at her words, hoping that Matt would say ‘Another time!’ and you would forget about the entire interaction. But you knew he would take up any offer to be alone with you; and a part of you was hoping he would.

“I’d love to see it,” Matt said slowly, his voice now a serious tone as he waited nervously for your response.

“Uh... of course. Does anyone else want to see?” You asked, in one final last ditch effort to protect yourself from being alone with him. But the room had already moved on from you, and no one even heard you ask the question. You looked up at Matt, his perfect smile once again showing itself.

“Guess it’s just you and I, pretty girl.” He whispered to you, his hand on your shoulder. He leaned in as he spoke to you, as if to keep the nickname a secret. You looked around in hopes that someone noticed, someone would put a stop to it. But everyone had already moved on, started new conversations, brought themselves deeper into a state of inebriation. No one saw either of you, and you could easily slip away into the night with him. 

You stood up slowly, and motioned for Matt to follow you into your room. He eagerly followed behind, not a single soul in the room even realizing you were leaving. You felt your heart pounding in anticipation and nervousness, not knowing how the next few minutes would play out. You took a few deep breaths to control yourself before opening the door to your room and letting Matt follow.

“Open or closed?” He asked, his hand gripped on the door handle as he awaited your response.

“Closed. I don’t like people seeing my personal space,” you said, moving over to the shelves that held your vinyls. Matt nodded and closed the door lightly, following you over to your collection. 

You walked to the corner of your small, cluttered bedroom. Sat in the corner was multiple shelving units, all packed high and bending under the weight of your numerous records. Next to the shelves was a small desk, which your record player sat beautifully on top of. Your room was overwhelming to a stranger's eye, but every single thing in there had a purpose, to you. It was your sanctuary. And it wasn’t a place you regularly invited strangers. You barely ever let Callie or Danny in there. But seeing him stand there, gazing in fascination at your records, felt very comfortable. You knew that he would respect your space, and not question it. It was a nice feeling to be able to share something so private with someone. 

“Wow... this is amazing (Y/N)... you have fantastic taste in music,” he whispered, running his hands up and down the records.

“Thank you. Some of them I don’t really listen to, they’ve just been collected from garage sales and thrift stores over the years.” You watched him in awe, every feature glowing in the low light of your room. He smiled at certain titles, pulling things out delicately to look at the covers. He was beautiful, perfect. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

“Do you wanna smoke a blunt?” He asked, turning to you in excitement as he pulled out a bag of weed from his pocket.

“Of course. Just crack the window,” you responded, your eyes still locked on him.

“Perfect! Let’s listen to something, too. Do you mind rolling so I can pick something out?” He asked, handing you the plastic bag. Your hand touched his as you grabbed it from him, and you felt time freeze as your skin made contact. He was warm, soft, angelic in his touch. You wanted more, you craved more. But you let go, pulling yourself away.

You watched him pull out various records and contemplate what to put on as you carefully rolled a blunt to smoke. His face was focused and concentrated, and the furrow in his brow made you smile. You couldn’t help but smile around him. He finally pulled out an album you immediately recognized as (Y/F/A).

“How did you know?” You asked, watching him as he delicately took the record out and placed it on your player.

“What?” He giggled, biting his lip as he looked up at you.

“That's my favorite album.”

“You’re joking. It’s mine, too.” He looked up at you, your eyes once again meeting. You didn’t need to speak to know what was going through his mind. The two of you were both thinking the same thing. He broke the stare first to start playing the music, his hands gently placing the needle on the record.

The music began quietly, but filled the room around you. You lit up the blunt and began to smoke, a wave of happiness coming over you as you took in your surroundings. A beautiful boy, your favorite music, some fantastic weed. It was paradise. It was pure bliss.

You smoked the blunt in silence, both of you taking in the beauty of the music, no need for words. You watched him, his movements, enthralled by his every move. The light from the blunt lit up his face in an almost angelic way, making your heart race every time he took a puff. The more high you got, the more you wanted to touch him, feel him, kiss him, love him. Love at first sight, it’s bull shit, right? But what if it isn’t? What if it’s sitting right in front of you?

“Dance with me.” Matt said, standing up quickly and reaching out his hand.

“I... what?” You asked, giggling slightly at the man who was standing in front of you.

“Dance with me. You know you want to.” He raises his eyebrows at you, hand still stuck out waiting for you. You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips as you grabbed his hand and stood up. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. The smell of smoke and mint immediately overtook you, the warmth of his body wrapping you in comfort. Being in his arms, it was the most calming feeling in the world. It was the best feeling in the world.

In that moment, nothing else mattered to you except being with him. You would do anything to hold on to that moment. You reached your hand up to his face and touched it gently, the softened of his skin flowing on your fingertips. You brushed the few stray wisps of hair away from his face before bringing your lips up to his.

There are many different types of kisses in the world. You first kiss, which is awkward and usually terrible. A sad kiss, one where you know it will be your last kiss for a while. A lustful kiss, where you can’t keep your hands off of each other and want nothing more than to rip clothes off. But this kiss... this was a kiss you had never experienced before. It was a kiss that filled your entire body; flooded you with light and calmness, made every bad thing you’ve ever felt disappear into thin air as your lips pressed against his. It was a kiss that you knew was saved especially between two people who were meant to be. A kiss between soul mates.

As your lips worked effortlessly with his, everything else in the world disappeared except for you and him. You melted into each other, two paints seamlessly coming together to create a beautiful piece of art. You never wanted to let go of him. You never would, if it was up to you. But you needed a second, a second to catch your breath, a second to ground yourself back to reality.

You pulled away from him, your hands still locked in his hair and his on your waist. “We should go back out there. We don’t want to look suspicious,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the circumstances that led you in here in the first place.

“Of course, that’s for the best. But I promise you this is not the end of us.” Matt kissed your cheek and winked flirtatiously before heading back out to your living room. You sat quietly for a moment, your heart racing and your breathing unsteady. In that moment, you knew that was it. That was the last first kiss of your life.

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #mgg #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

[muwur]

If requests are open.. Suga x reader -3rd year student- where friends to pining where reader is a exchange student mid year -parent’s job- and reader is new to the school, can barely communicate Japanese and is too shy to meet new people.. reader is welcomed as a co-manager for vb club and all the other boys adopt her has their sister. She tutors them in their English lesson too.. also how would Suga help her open up from her shyness..

request: sugawara x fem! reader who is a shy exchange student!

another beginning.

✩ one-shot ✩ for sugawara bb

❧ fem reader

✎ 4.9k words

a/n: FINALLY GOT THIS BBY DONE, ty for being patient requester <3 i hope its ok, lmk if u would like smth different!

also curious but do yall listen to music when you write or read? i dnt always but when i DO i listen to some boppy music so i can shake mah ass (unles im depresso AHAHA) LMAO rec me some pls--

send me asks--

current listen: juicy by doja cat, gasolina by daddy yankee, 11 PM by maluma

A pencil dangled between two of your fingers, gently swinging back and forth as you tapped the eraser’s tip against your chin in thought. Looking over Hinata’s shoulder at the worksheet laying on the table, you extended your hand and made a neat scrawl on the page. “That’s good translating, Hinata! However,” you dragged your pencil across the surface, marking a line and arrow to point at a space near the beginning of his sentence, “keep in mind that although gerunds look like verbs, they act as nouns. So, this word should go here.”

Yachi, who was seated to your right, nodded in agreement. “I looked through his notes doodles, and it looked like they were going over gerunds in class!”

With narrowed eyes, Hinata scanned the page, muttering the sentence underneath his breath. Suddenly, his hazel eyes lit up in understanding and his lips morphed into a round “O.” “Ohhhh, that make a lot more sense! Thanks, (y/n), you’re a big help, especially in English! Also, look, guys!”

He rummaged through his cluttered backpack and fished out a slightly wrinkled sheet of paper with a red “14/50” marked on the top right corner. Holding it up proudly, he declared, “I got a better score than last time! By nine points!”

“That’s still an F,” Tsukishima pointed out, eyes glued to the pages of the book he was reading. Yamaguchi and Kageyama tried to stifle their snickers.

“Y-You’re not even looking!” Hinata defended. The ginger was met with a shrug. “I don’t need to see the score to know you failed.”

Before any fighting could break out, however, the door swung open, revealing the remaining third-years. Bags of snacks in their arms, the four of them stepped in. “We’re back! Your parent/guardian let us in, (y/n),” Sugawara announced, setting his bag down on the table. The rest followed suit and set the goodies down. Rummaging through one of the bags, Daichi pulled out a meat bun.

“Hinata, here’s your meat bun,” he said, handing the snack to the excited first-year, who had long-forgotten Tsukishima’s snide remark about his lack of intellectual aptitude. Kiyoko offered Kageyama his milk, the slight brush of their hands being enough to stir Noya and Tanaka into an envious craze. Asahi tried to settle them down, nervously reminding them that they needed to act respectful in your home, especially after your family had agreed to let you all study there. You stifled a giggle as Sugawara and Daichi joined in, scolding their underclassmen for their poor behavior and threatening them with a time-out.

With an exasperated sigh, Sugawara took a seat next to you on the mat. “Ah, I can’t help but worry about how Ennoshita’s going to handle both of them on his own.”

Giving a sidelong glance to the second-year, who was now forcing Noya and Tanaka to complete timed practice problems, your lips formed a small smile. “Looks like he does a pretty good job at it, though.”

Sugawara let out an amused huff. “Guess I’m worried over nothing. Oh, also,” he dug into the plastic bag in front of him, taking out your favorite snack and offering it to you. “Here you go.”

(can u tell from my stories yet that fav snacks aka actions are my love language--)

“Oh, thank you, Suga, I didn’t even ask for this…” you flashed him a grateful smile and took the package from his hands, suppressing the blush that threatened to overcome your cheeks as your fingertips brushed. He gave a sheepish smile and glanced to the side in response, giving the back of his neck an anxious rub.

“Ah, it’s the least I could do to thank you for letting us all come over to study. It’s really helpful. I appreciate it, (y/n).”

“It’s not much, really. I’m more than glad to help you all (read: Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Noya) out with English and offer my place. Having everyone together makes it easier. They need to pass these exams so you all get to play.”

Your offer to help the team with their studies may have seemed a simple gesture as both their friend and co-manager. On the inside, however, you really were more than happy to have everyone over for whatever reason. It left you with a feeling of awe. The last thing you would’ve expected 3 months ago was to be sitting in your new home in Japan, surrounded by a group of people who accepted you despite your poor Japanese and late appearance to Karasuno. Just 4 months ago, after you learned about your parent/guardian’s job transfer to Japan, you were left feeling an array of mixed feelings:

Anxiety – a whole new country? With a language you could barely even speak or understand? How was that going to work? Could you even make friends at school? God knows how long it took you to make the friends you have now.

Disappointment – you were looking forward to graduating high school with the friends you’ve made throughout the past few years. Having to say goodbye would be difficult, and you’d miss them.

Yet, you felt a sliver of hopefulness – new experiences were waiting for you. You had the opportunity to lead a new life in a foreign place. It filled you both with fear and exhilaration.

On the night before your first day at Karasuno, you could barely sleep after spending hours religiously practicing how to introduce yourself in Japanese. Having to introduce yourself to the class and speaking with your new classmates was inevitable, after all. And so the next day, you found yourself standing in front of the classroom, trying to suppress the nervous shudder that threatened to rack your body and ignore the prickles of sweat on your palms. Despite how much you mentally recited your introduction that morning, your current situation left your mind blank, unable to conjure any words. Fueled by the awkward silence, the numerous gazes focused on you, and the growing pit of anxiety in your stomach, what came out was a quiet, jumbled form of what you intended to say.

“Hello, (y/n) (l/n). I’m (insert your original country name here). I can’t Japanese, but I hope friends. Everyone, nice to meet,” you bowed, both in respect and so that you could hide your face, which was red from embarrassment. You knew you messed up, but you pretended otherwise, hoping that nobody would point out your mistake.

You straightened up after a few moments of silence, registering the confused looks of your new classmates and feeling another stab of shame. In response to your introduction, the teacher raised her eyebrows and blinked in confusion. Then her eyes warmed, and she offered you a smile as she spoke up. “Class, this is (l/n) (y/n). She recently moved here from (insert OG country here). She’s still learning Japanese; however, her English is perfect, so I’m sure you can all learn something from each other. Please make her feel welcome. Your seat is over there, (l/n).”

Shoulders sagging, you made your way to your desk, avoiding eye contact despite the pairs of eyes that followed you to your seat. Focusing on the lecture was a struggle. Not only could you barely understand anything the teacher was saying; worries about how the rest of the day would go also flooded your mind. This was only the morning; how could you navigate your way through the halls? Ask for directions? Would you meet people? Where would you eat lunch? How could you survive?

The remainder of the classes went by gruesomely slow. Too embarrassed from your slip this morning and too shy to meet new people despite wanting to make a friend, you successfully dodged conversation with any of your classmates. You were relieved that finally lunch came by, yet that presented another problem. You weren’t sure where to go, but you were sure that you were going to eat by yourself.

After a few minutes of walking around the hallways, you settled for eating lunch in the classroom. At least it meant you didn’t have to rush to class after the bell rang. Taking a seat, you pulled out your boxed lunch and set it out in front of you. Painfully aware of how alone you must have looked, you pretended to look really interested in your meal (am i the only one or--). You poked it, broke it into pieces, then brought each sliver to your mouth and chewed slowly. If only your family had switched your phone plans earlier, then you could at least spend time scrolling the internet or lament to your friends back home about how your day was going.

Still “engrossed” in your meal, you failed to notice a figure standing in front of your desk. Only after you saw a hand situate itself on the edge of your desk did you look up.

You met the chestnut eyes of a boy. He bore a warm smile that made a small crinkle in his eyes and beauty mark. Strands of grey hair draped naturally in front of his eyes and framed the sides of his face. Despite your unease, his soft features helped to calm your racing heart and mind. He seemed a friendly person; after all, he was able to approach you.

“Hey, you’re (l/n), right? I’m Sugawara Koushi, but you can call me Suga. I’m in your class,” he introduced in pretty darn good English.

‘Man, that means he heard me this morning…’ you thought miserably. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel some relief. Perhaps you hadn’t given others or yourself much of a chance before jumping to the conclusion that you were incapable of meeting new people.

Clearing your throat, you shyly extended a hand to him in greeting. “Yes, I’m (y/n) (l/n). Call me (y/n). It’s nice to meet you, Suga,” you replied hesitantly, finally using the correct words in Japanese that you had been practicing the previous night.

Shaking your hand, his eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “Your Japanese sounds pretty good! You just moved, so you’re still learning, right? How about I help you improve that while you help me with English?”

You were about to nod eagerly in appreciation when you both overheard some snickering across the room. Two boys and a girl sat together, whispering quite loudly and sneaking oh-so-inconspicuous glances over at your desk. Taking notice that they were caught staring, they presumed to loudly munch on their meals and talk about the weather.

Suga only shot them annoyed glare and shook his head before turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, those are my… Friends.” The strain in his voice after saying that last word made you question if they really were on friendly terms.

After that day, you found yourself spending every lunch period with Suga and his other third-year friends Daichi, Asahi, and Shimizu. You initially felt unsure of how to talk to them, but after Sugawara’s efforts to include you in his circle and some reassuring words about being yourself and not letting a small, temporary language barrier hold you back from making friends, you earned a bit of confidence. While you spoke a hybrid of English and Japanese with them, you eventually managed to pick up a lot of Japanese from talking everyday, and after these few months of constant exposure, you were able to hold decent conversations. Additionally, the extra help you sought from the teaching staff allowed you to be able to keep up in class, and your instructors were understanding enough to give you some leniency on your assignments during this adjustment period.

Hanging around your new friends often, it was only a matter of time before you were introduced to the rest of Karasuno’s boys’ volleyball team. It occurred one lunch period three weeks after you first arrived, when Asahi suggested that you join some club activities. You were discouraged, however, considering that it was already halfway through the year, you didn’t know enough Japanese yet to converse with just anyone, and you were a tad shy, which made joining clubs a bit difficult. At that moment, your new friends all made eye contact with each other, then looked at you.

“Why not join our volleyball club?” Suga asked. “Shimizu could always use the help. She’s our only student manager.”

Shimizu nodded in agreement, her blue gaze soft. “Your help would be really appreciated. There’s a lot to this job, so having someone to split the work with would be relieving. You can also help me look for someone to take my place when we graduate.”

Later that day you found yourself in the gym being blocked by Sugawara, who was protecting you from two crazed boys whose collars were held back by Daichi. A ginger-haired boy looked at you with curiosity, excitedly introducing himself as Hinata and pointing out the names of the other members on the court (“This is ‘Bakageyama’ and that guy’s ‘Four-eyed Jerk Face’—").

Upon their release (which was granted only after they promised to behave), Tanaka and Noya dashed over to you, tears in their eyes as they held your hands and expressed their gratitude for your presence. “Oh, (y/n), you kind soul, helping Shimizu with the managerial work. Better yet, now we have two cute girls to support us, this is amazing!”

And that’s how you found yourself sitting with your new friends in your living room and feeling grateful for their vibrant personalities, kindness, and acceptance. You couldn’t have asked for a better batch of friends to end your year with. Though, you were most grateful to Sugawara. If not for him, the last several months of your highschool experience may have gone by miserably, with nothing special to note and no new friends to celebrate with. His gentle, understanding nature had done nothing but support you and make you feel welcome. He helped introduce you to a new, comfortable life you had trouble imagining before your arrival to Japan. He dispelled your doubts and fears, instilling in you a newfound confidence in your abilities. It certainly helped that the team was just as supportive and patient with you.

You could recount the events of the past few months that brought warmth to your heart. These people were growing on you, making you feel like you could be yourself more each day. Daichi provided you a sense of security and leadership. Asahi was empathetic, quick to detect your feelings of uneasiness and asking you if you were okay. Shimizu made sure to make you feel welcome as a friend and fellow manager, even inviting you to a café over the weekend to brainstorm ideas on recruiting a replacement (who you both later discovered to be Yachi) and try out some desserts. Tanaka and Noya tried to teach you all the Japanese curse words they knew, initially lying to you about their meanings so they could see the rest of the team’s reactions when you would blurt things out in the middle of practice (Let’s just say that Daichi, Suga, Ennoshita, and Tsukki knew whose fault this was, and Asahi was real shook hearing a string of curse words from your mouth while you sat there, no ill intent emanating from you whatsoever). Ennoshita gave you a comforting, easygoing presence. Tsukki was… Tsukki (LOL). But he could carry on a conversation, often genuinely interested whenever you talked about the culture back in (other country). And you knew he was soft. Hinata was a burst of energy, and you found his bickering with Tsukishima and Kageyama silly and quite precious. You often stayed with Yachi to toss balls to Kageyama late at night, much to his appreciation. Yachi and Yamaguchi were some of the biggest sweethearts on the team, and all you could think about was needing to protect them.

There was definitely something different in your interactions with Sugawara, though. You found yourself closest to him out of everyone. It may have been because he was the first you talked to, or maybe it was because he was one of the most easygoing people you’ve ever met. That, and you found yourself wanting to get closer to him. You wanted to know more about him.

Sugawara chuckled in response. “I suppose you’re right. We wouldn’t have made it this far without everyone,” he said softly, a tinge of fondness showing in his brown eyes. He proceeded to take out his schoolwork and pen, resting his chin in his palm as he read the words across the page of his assignment. Occasionally, you glanced over at him, admiring the way his eyebrows knit together in concentration, and how his hair brushed his cheeks whenever his head shifted in its position. How the grey tips of lashes kissed his bottom eyelids with each flutter of his chocolate hues. You even took a mental note that his lips, currently pursed in thought, were rather smooth and full in appearance.

A rogue thought about how those lips would feel against your own flitted across your mind. It brought a small pang to your chest, and you had to mentally slap yourself back into reality. You noticed these new feelings were starting to become more prevalent the longer you hung around Sugawara. You consulted your friends back home about it, and in their excitement, they insisted you had a crush on this guy (and demanded photos). Heart palpitations, heat-flooded cheeks, covert glances, and a desire for closeness in all aspects possible? All symptoms of infatuation, your personal love doctors concluded. You recalled when these signs first appeared about a month ago, after he offered to walk you home when practice had gone late into the night. Initially you declined, not wanting him to go out of his way when it was already dark outside. However, after seeing the soft look in his eyes as he declared he wanted to ensure you got home safely and that he didn’t mind the walk, your heart couldn’t help but give in and agree.

It was a tranquil night, accompanied only by the sound of crickets chirping and a cool, whispy breeze. About 15 minutes after having left campus, you were both seated on an aged bench at a small park, snacking on recent convenience store purchases to satisfy your growling stomachs. A comfortable silence settled in the air. The nightly surroundings were illuminated by the gentle glow of several nearby lampposts and stars that burned lightyears away.

Your gaze followed the tracks of a small bug crawling across the sidewalk in front of your feet. It skittered soundlessly against the pavement, eventually disappearing in the security of a bush. A gentle sigh took hold of your attention, and your eyes flickered over to your friend, who was peering up at the star-dusted evening sky.

“Do you know what you’re doing after graduation?” he asked, a hint of wonder in his voice.

You shook your head. “No clue, to be honest. You?”

He pursed his lips and took a sidelong glance at you before focusing back upwards. “Well, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher…”

“Seems fitting. Your Japanese lessons have been really helpful,” you pointed out, smiling.

The tips of his lips curved upwards as well. “Really? I’m glad. You’ve improved a lot, too. You’re a quick learner.”

“Heh, well I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Another comfortable silence fell upon you two before he spoke again. “I was thinking about how to keep in touch with everyone after we left, and how it’s a shame we’re leaving so soon after you arrived. I would’ve liked to know you better, too, but there’s only a few months left...”

His genuine words left a rosy tinge on your cheeks. As you were thinking of a response, you looked down, noticing how close your hand lay next to his. Heartrate quickening, you stammered, “Y-Yeah, I wish we had more time, too.. T-To hang around each other, I mean. But graduation doesn’t have to mean goodbye, right?”

“That’s true... You always know just what to say, you know that, (y/n)?” he turned his gaze on you and held out an extended pinky. “Promise to talk to me after graduating, then?”

You rolled your eyes playfully and huffed in amusement. Taking your own pinky and intertwining it with his, you nodded. “So long as you keep your end of the promise, too.”

“Of course.”

Sugawara’s voice brought you out of your momentary flashback. “(Y/n)? Can I ask you a question?”

Blinking your previous thoughts away and calming the warmth on your cheeks, you responded, “What’s up?”

He slid his assignment closer to you, pointing at a section he was having trouble with. “Here. I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly..”

You leaned in, scooching towards him and closing in on the gap between you. Focused on the homework, you failed to notice how the brush of your shoulders made Sugawara’s body stiffen slightly. With your proximity, your scent easily wafted to his nose, and he could observe the closer details of your appearance. The hair tucked behind your ear exposed your cheekbone, looking soft to the touch. Your determined hues scanned the page, and he could visualize your thinking through your small, occasional self-nods. You looked cute and comfortable in the casual hoodie you wore, bringing him a strange, mixed sense of bashfulness and ease. His mind wandered, trying to envision how you would look if you wore any of his jackets, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of your sweet voice and scribbles against paper.

“It sounds great, Suga! I just made a note there on how you can fix it; otherwise, it should be okay,” you gave him a reassuring smile as you slid his work back to him. You, however, didn’t shift back to your original position and instead stayed seated mere inches from the boy. Not that he minded, but…

“O-Oh, alright, thanks!”

It made concentrating during the rest of the study session a little difficult.

Occasionally you did get up, helping mostly the first and second years with some of their English assignments. His eyes would secretly (but c’mon, everyone but Hinata and Kageyama could tell) follow your figure, admiring the way you looked as you interacted happily with the others and did whatever you could to assist them. Yet you always returned to the same spot, near Suga. Close enough that everyone else on the team took notice (if they haven’t already), relayed the information via mental telephone, and secretly agreed to depart a bit earlier than they had anticipated.

“Oh, you guys are leaving already?” you asked everyone as they were packing up their belongings.

They all nodded in response, offering up their reasons for leaving earlier than the original time you set, which ranged from, “My parents wanted me home for dinner” to “My sister’s wasted and locked out of the house, nobody’s home—” (u good der Saeko)

Standing at your doorway, you waved to your friends, sending them off with a “I’ll see you at school!” as they waved back and filed out of your home. Looking over to Suga, who was still standing beside you, you wondered, “Oh, you’re staying?”

“Oh, yeah! I was surprised to see everyone leave so soon, but I was planning to head home in another hour. B-But I can go now if you need me to..!” he answered a bit shakily, waving around his hands in small, bashful gestures.

You shook your head and you waved your hand dismissively. “It’s okay, you’re more than welcome to stay for however long you need to.”

Settled back in the common area, you both tried to resume your schoolwork, but to no avail. Groaning, you leaned back, using your arms to support you from behind. “I’m tired of workingggggg.”

He sighed in agreement, resting an elbow on the table and propping up his head in a closed fist. “Same. Do you want to do something else?”

“Hmm..” you pondered aloud. “Do you want to see my room?”

Shrugging and responding with a “why not?”, you both stood up, leaving the common area to go to your room. You opened the door and stepped inside, Suga closely trailing behind you.

“Welcome to my room. Make yourself cozy,” you insisted as you sat on your bed and pat the spot next to you. He took your offer, taking a seat beside you and looking around your bedroom in curiosity.

“Something about this place really seems like you, (y/n).”

You raised an eyebrow at his comment. “Is it the messy pile of clothes in that basket or the neat desk I cleaned up this morning?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I suppose you could say those are part of it. I just meant there’s a lot to you that you should feel comfortable sharing with others. People are complex and there’s so many sides to a person we discover along the way. I remember how timid you were in our first weeks of knowing each other, and now you’re getting along great with everyone and work hard to improve everyday. You were able to overcome a stressful repeat of entering highschool, but this time in another country, and adapted just fine! Your kindness and determination is admirable.”

Twiddling with your fingers, you felt a sheepish grin form on your face. “Aha, you’re too kind, Suga. You know I couldn’t have made these friends or adjust so well without your help. I was too worried about talking to anyone until you came up to me, so… Thank you.”

You risked a glance towards the boy, finding his chocolate gaze already set on you. If none of your interactions in the past month had set your heart ablaze, then certainly this moment would take the cake. Sugawara’s eyes flickered downwards briefly in a moment of hesitance, then locked again onto yours with a hint of an undetectable emotion lurking behind those irises.  Neither of you could bring up any words to say. The only sounds present were the soft hums of your breathing and the low creak of your bed as you found yourselves shifting your weight in order to inch closer to one another.

His mind flooded with a cacophony of emotions, from crippling nervousness to an allure for risk-taking. He could barely come to terms with the current situation and what might happen. Maybe he was overthinking it. Surely being this close face-to-face with someone who you just happen to like doesn’t automatically mean they like you back and want to kiss you just as much. Perhaps you were just leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder; after all, you did seem tired from the events of today. Or, you were scooting close for a better look at his face so you could point out, “hey, you got a little something on your face.” Perhaps a crumb from the cracker he had earlier?

But when he took note of the way your eyes fluttered shut, eyelashes caressing the tops of your dusted cheeks, his doubts began to waver. Maybe this was the chance he’s been seeking out lately. Once Daichi deciphered Sugawara’s affections for you, eventually the whole team found out and began to silently root for him. Thankfully, despite their blatant attempts to help him out, you hadn’t noticed a thing. It made him wonder whether you were oblivious, or just didn’t like him, or both. However, in this moment, when it appeared as though maybe you returned his feelings, he felt he should—as Tanaka would say—shoot his shot.

A sudden knock on the door sent you both jumping 5 feet away from each other. Frazzled and wide-eyed, you choked out a weak, “H-Hello?” in response to the interruption. The door opened, revealing your parent/guardian, who peeked inside.

“Dinner’s ready. Would you like to stay and have it with us?” they were asking Suga.

Heart still racing from the fear that gripped it, he blinked in surprise. He piped out a polite no thank you, reasoning that he didn’t want to intrude.

“Nonsense, we’re happy to have you. Come soon.”

They closed the door and left, leaving you two in an awkward silence that was soon interrupted by the sound of your cough. “We should, uh, get going…”

Standing up, you reached for the door with Suga in tow. The tension in the air remained between the two of you throughout dinner. Nevertheless, Sugawara was able to leave a good impression on your family by being a good conversationalist, even earning a few laughs from your parent/guardian. It made your heart swell at how natural it was for him to be able to get along with others.

After dinner ended and he packed his things, you stepped outside with him to send him off, closing the door behind you. He was about to salute you with a “thanks for having me over” when you gave him a peck on the cheek so sudden that he didn’t have time to react before you were already making your way back into your house.

“Thanks for coming, Suga! I’ll see you at school! Let me know when you get home!” you exclaimed animatedly, shutting the door quickly to hide your embarrassment from your sudden actions. You leaned your back against it, instantly regretting what you did with tightly shut eyes. ‘Oh gawd how am I gonna face him at school tomorrow dhefjkg.’

But on the other side of the door, Suga stood dumbfounded, hovering a hand over the area your lips had touch. Though highly embarrassed, he felt a rush of elation pass over him like a humongous wave that never stopped crashing against the shores.

He was starting to really think it was a good idea to introduce himself to the cute new girl in class. Nice one, Suga.

#haikyuu x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader oneshots #hq reader insert #haikyuu reader insert #requests

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

#xxxpauline

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 79

Ayyyyyy its here fam, the chapter right before RMD is finally done which means I’m ALMOST ALMOST THERE AHAHAHHAHAHAH IM SO FUCKIN HYPE! But for now, enjoy this fucking preliminary angstfest, which I also really like even if it is a teeny tiny lil chapter. Just as well since RMD are all boutta be fucking monsters in terms of length. Anyway enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/618035050504732672/universe-falls-chapter-78

***

Chapter 79: Alone on the Lake

TN XBAVUSA SUL ZUSALLZF GSL ZLZBKX IFK AJUWLK DPNZ BWMSL LUZ OACM HV YW KLKHXJ GGBZ EKBIJK?

“Ok, Lapis, we’re almost there!”

“I think I’m starting to guess the surprise, you two,” Lapis noted with a small smile, still keeping her aquatic wings wrapped over her eyes as she followed Steven and Mabel’s enthusiastic lead. 

“Your eyes are supposed to be closed!” Steven reminded brightly. 

“Sorry,” Lapis chuckled, following his instructions this time as the pair continued to guide her onward. “Are you still back there, Dipper?” she called, glancing over her shoulder behind her, though keeping her eyes shut all the while. 

“Hm?” Dipper looked up, his hands shoved away in his pockets as he kept pace quite a bit behind the trio as they traveled down the dock. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’m here.”

“Mind telling me where we’re going?” the blue Gem continued addressing him with a small, playful smile. “I have an idea, but these two aren’t giving me any hints.”

“Cause that would be cheating!” Mabel pointed out, resolute. “And it would ruin the surprise.”

“Speaking of surprises, wait here just a second.” Steven and Mabel both relinquished their holds on Lapis’ hands, running over to join Greg and Stan near the edge of the dock before unveiling what they had in store for the day. “Surprise!”

Lapis let her wings retract, opening her eyes to see something that she didn’t really know what to make of at first. The wide lay of Lake Gravity Falls spread out before the group from the small dock they were all on, its murky waters dully glistening in the mid-morning sun. And resting on that lake, tethered to a post, was a moderately large boat, one that looked rather fancy and modern, aside from the bizarre, out of place skull and crossbone flags draping from its sides and hanging from its flagpole. 

“We bought a boat!” Steven proclaimed excitedly. 

“Correction, we rented a boat,” Greg chimed in. “I may be rich, but buying a boat would be going a bit… overboard!”

“Ugh, please someone make him stop,” Stan groaned insincerely. “He’s been making lame boat puns ever since we picked this thing up from the rental place. I’d fire him for them… if he still worked for me.”

“What can I say, Mr. Pines?” Greg let out a small chuckle. “I just keep reeling ‘em in!”

Steven and Mabel were quick to join in on the former rock star’s amused laughter, and though it took Stan a moment, he ultimately folded with a bit of a wry smirk himself. “Uh… what’s with the pirate theme?” Dipper spoke up as he looked over the boat. 

“Er, the rental place was out of the “Family Friendly Day On the Lake” boat package,” Greg explained. “All they had left was the “A Pirate’s Life for Me” package, which is really just those flags. Oh, and I think there’s a stuffed parrot and a set of decorative swords on board.”

“There’s also a bunch of peg legs, pirate hats, and eye patches stored under one of the seats,” Stan added dryly. “So, ya know, you kids can knock yourselves out with those.”

“Ooo!” Steven mused, intrigued. 

“I call the eye patch!” Mabel quipped, raising her hand.

“Oh no, ya don’t,” Stan pulled said eye patch out of his pocket and slipped it on. “I already beat ya to it, pumpkin.”

“Aw, dang it! Not again!”

“Steven, Dipper, Mabel,” Lapis spoke up, glancing over at Stan and Greg, somewhat confused. “Who are these people?”

“Ah, Greg Universe,” Greg introduced himself, holding out a hand for her to shake. “You, uh, busted up my van trying to use the lake to fly back to your homeworld?”

“Lapis Lazuli,” the blue Gem offered him a somewhat awkward smile though she didn’t return his handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

“And Lapis, you remember Grunkle Stan, right?” Mabel asked as she came to stand alongside the conman. 

“Oh right!” Lapis nodded. “You’re the guy who looks like Ford, but isn’t Ford.”

“Ugh, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that one when I was a kid...” Stan rolled his eyes, disgruntled. 

“That’s ‘cause Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford are twins,” Mabel informed the blue Gem with a smile as she suddenly pulled Dipper close beside her. “Just like me and Dipper!”

“Ugh, Mabel! Knock it off!” Dipper huffed in annoyance as he quickly pulled away from her. He paid no mind to the curious looks the others were sending his way as a result of his sudden harshness as he instead went to take a seat at the far edge of the dock instead. 

“Aw, c’mon, bro-bro, I was just… aw, ok…” Mabel sighed in quiet defeat as she watched him sullenly walk away.

“Yeesh, he’s acting even more Dippery than usual,” Stan remarked bluntly before oblivious moving on. “Anyway, we’d better get a move on. The ice in that treasure chest-shaped cooler on deck is only gonna keep those sandwiches cold for so long.”

“Good point,” Greg agreed, trailing after the conman. “Let’s get the boat started.”

As the pair headed aboard the rented vessel, everyone else hung back on the dock for a bit, particularly Lapis as she hardly even seemed to be focused on the boat at all. “What’s going on with Dipper?” she asked Steven and Mabel with newfound concern. “He seems… upset about something.”

“I don’t know…” Steven frowned. “Yesterday he seemed so excited about our plans to bring you out here to spend the day with you, Lapis, but now…”

“I-I think I might know what’s up,” Mabel said, glancing down apprehensively. “Last night I overheard him talking in his sleep--which he only really does when he’s having a nightmare--a-and it must have been a pretty bad one cause he said something about… a-about you know who…”

“No,” Lapis shook her head, confused. “Who?”

“Oooh…” Steven immediately understood, however, his expression quickly turning grave. “Again? I thought he stopped having those kinds of nightmares after we put up the unicorn shield around the shack.”

“The what?” the blue Gem tried interjecting once more, completely out of the loop.

“Yeah, well… you know Bill,” Mabel said, her tone and expression both taking on an air of disdain. “He never quits, even when he really should. And if he can’t mess with us for real anymore, I guess dreams are the next best thing for him.”

“Wait, slow down,” Lapis said, putting her hands up. “What are you guys talking about? Who’s this Bill person? Someone who’s been messing with Dipper?”

“Messing with all of us, actually…” Steven rubbed his arm. “He’s this really powerful, really mean demon who we’ve been fighting against all summer. We’ve been up against him a bunch of times, but the worst was when he-” The young Gem stopped short at this, particularly as he met the sight of Mabel silently shaking her head, her lips pressed in a thin line and her eyes wide with worry. Steven was quick to understand her intent, however, when he happened to glance between Lapis, who was looking to him with expectant curiosity, and Dipper, who was still sitting alone, forlorn as he stared into the lake from the edge of the dock. “Uh… h-he, um…” Steven stammered, unsure of how to explain exactly what had happened what felt like ages ago now. Especially to Lapis, of all Gems, who cared so much for Dipper and had, at least in some way, been the very driving force for him striking the dangerous deal with the dream demon that he had back then. A deal that was clearly still leaving it’s heavy, painful mark on him, even long after it had ended. 

“L-long story short,” Mabel cut in just in time with a brief, largely safe explanation. “Bill tricked Dipper into making a deal with him that went pretty sour pretty fast and it, uh… m-may or may not almost got him, um… k-killed,” she winced, a familiar pang of guilt filling her as she so much as said the dreadful word. 

“W-what?!” Lapis exclaimed, aptly alarmed. 

“O-oh, but don’t worry! It didn’t actually, o-of course,” Steven rushed to interject. “A-and my healing powers helped patch up everything else‒eventually. So, everything’s fine now! W-well… almost everything…” The young Gem frowned as he looked in Dipper’s direction himself, wishing there was more he could do to help heal what was an entirely different kind of wound now. 

“B-but, I don’t understand,” Lapis shook her head, her expression awash in immense worry. “Why would Dipper make a deal like that anyway? Even if he was tricked, I know he’s smarter than to fall for something like that.”

Steven and Mabel exchanged an uncertain glance at this, knowing that the last thing Lapis needed was to know exactly why Dipper had taken a chance on such a risky bargain in the first place. “Uh… w-who can say?” Mabel shrugged, forcing out a harsh, fake chuckle. “It doesn’t really matter anymore anyway since it’s all said and done and we can forget about it and move on with our lives! S-so instead of talking about all that depressing junk, let’s talk about something way more fun instead! Like this boat! What do you think about it, Lapis?”

“Oh, uh… it’s… nice,” Lapis said somewhat absently as she finally pulled her gaze away from Dipper. “But... I don’t know…”

“Look, Lapis,” Steven took a deep, steadying breath, noticing the hesitation in the blue Gem as she turned her attention to the lake in particular. “We know you spent a really long time fused with Jasper at the bottom of the lake, but… you’re not Malachite anymore. And water is part of who you are. You can’t let one bad experience take that away from you!”

“It was more than one…” Lapis sighed, crossing her arms. 

“Well… maybe we can turn all those bad times around and make a brand-new good time instead!” Mabel encouraged warmly. “We promise that this is gonna be the most fun you’ve ever had!”

“Thank you, but I… I don’t deserve this…” Lapis shook her head fretfully. 

“Of course you do!” Steven insisted. “We even named her Lil’ Lappy!” He nodded over to the boat, where Stan and Greg were attempting to tape a banner with this new name to the side of the boat, only for it to slightly slip off to reveal the vessel’s true title: the S.S. Misery”. 

Despite this, Lapis was unable to hold back a snort of an amused laugh at such a ridiculous sight, one that told just how hard the kids were working to put all this together for her. “Ok, I’ll give it a chance. But just one.”

“That’s the spirit!” Mabel beamed. “Now c’mon! We better get on board before Grunkle Stan hogs the rest of that super cool pirate gear to himself!”

“Too late!” Stan called from on deck, clad in the eyepatch, captain’s hat, and fake peg leg alike. 

Even so, Mabel and Steven hurried on ahead to climb aboard, though Lapis stayed behind, largely so she could go over to join Dipper as he remained at the edge of the dock. Along the way, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts wander, both to the deepest concern for the boy himself, and quiet, yet fledgling fury for the mysterious demon who had apparently put him through so much lingering distress. “H-Hey,” she greeted him as casually as she could manage, despite all this. “Aren’t you coming along?”

“Oh! Y-yeah,” Dipper was quick to stand, though he made no move to go over to the boat as he offered Lapis a concerned glance instead. “Are… are you sure you’re ok with this? I tried telling them that taking you out on the lake might not be… the best idea, considering… well…”

“N-no, it’s ok,” Lapis assured him with a small smile. “I think it’s really… sweet that you guys went to all the trouble to put all this together for me. Even if it might be a bit… too much.”

“It’s always too much when Steven and Mabel are involved,” Dipper finally let out a small chuckle, one that set Lapis’ worries to ease as she hoped that maybe he wasn’t as upset as he seemed. At least for now. 

“Need a lift?” she asked, summoning her wings as she extended a hand out to him. 

“Sure.” With this, Lapis easily swept Dipper up off the dock, giving him an easy landing on board the boat alongside Steven and Mabel before she came down to join them herself. 

“How do I say it again, Mr. Pines?” Greg’s voice echoed from the ship’s intercom on the bridge. “Mighties?”

“It’s ‘maties’, Greg,” Stan deadpanned, not realizing the mic was already on either. 

“Got it; maties,” Greg actually turned to the intercom so he could properly address the group on deck. “Uh, ahoy, maties! Are ya scurvy land-lovers-”

“Landlubbers,” Stan corrected once more. 

“...What the hey is a lubber?”

“Ugh, gimme that!” the conman promptly took over the intercom at this. “What he’s trying to say is, are you all ready to take off or not?” 

“Aye, aye, captain!” Mabel and Steven proclaimed in unison, both of them presenting dramatic salutes. 

“...Yes,” Lapis said simply as Dipper nodded his agreement as well. 

“Good,” Stan said simply, hanging up the intercom line. “You do know how to work this tub, don’t you, Greg?”

“Uh… w-well… It can’t be that tricky…” Greg looked over the ship’s rather complicated control deck, though he did manage to find its starting clutch. “Aha! Full speed ahea-” The former rock star was abruptly cut off as the entire boat jolted hard as it began to take off, knocking everyone on board about. However, as it did, the force of the vessel’s abrupt movement suddenly ripped the post it was tethered to, one that neither Greg nor Stan had thought to untie it from before climbing aboard. “Aw, geez…” Greg shuddered upon glancing back to see the post skimming behind the boat as it ventured out onto the open lake. “You think anyone will notice?”

“You better hope no one does,” Stan remarked. “Trust me, Greg, you do not want a run-in with lake police. I learned that the hard way…”

Despite the pleasant, late summer weather, not too many other boats were out on the water, meaning the group largely had the lake all to themselves. As soon as the boat had settled into a more relaxed pace out near the center of the water, Lapis and the kids went to join Greg and Stan up in the bridge, largely to inquire about the wooden post still lagging behind the ship. 

“Yeah, I-I think I did a number on that deck,” Greg scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Maybe someone else should take a shot at being captain instead…”

“Ya think?” Stan deadpanned. 

“What do you say-” Greg grinned as he took his captain’s hat off and turned it over to Lapis instead. “Captain Lazuli?”

“I-I shouldn’t…” Lapis winced fretfully. 

“Go for it, Lapis!” Steven encouraged. 

“Yeah! You’ll make a great captain!” Mabel chimed in enthusiastically. “You can even use this spare eyepatch I stole from Grunkle Stan when he wasn’t looking!”

“Wha-” Stan took pause, reaching near his eye to find that his eye patch wasn’t covering it anymore. “When did you-”

“Don’t put me in charge!” Lapis suddenly snapped, agitated. She drew in a small, anxious gasp as she realized just how intense her refusal had been, to the point that all three of the kids were sending concerned looks her way. 

“Lapis…?” Dipper spoke up, by far the most worried of the already very worried trio. And as soon as Lapis caught his concerned gaze, she made a very rushed effort at righting herself, more for his sake than anyone else’s. 

“Oh, uh… s-sorry,” the blue Gem shook her head to clear it. “I mean… y-you shouldn’t trust me with the boat.”

“Uh, that’s ok,” Steven said, trying to brighten the tense mood once more. “Don’t worry about it. We can all be first mates, so there’s no pressure. Only fun stuff today!”

Lapis nodded, allayed by this plan, even if she was still discreetly trying not to pay too much mind to the wide lay of the lake all around them. “Lapis, you can still wear the hat if you want,” Greg held said hat out to her again. 

“Thanks,” Lapis smiled. “But I’m not putting that on my body.”

“What about the eye patch?” Mabel asked, eagerly offering it to the blue Gem until Stan intercepted it instead. 

“Give me that!” he swiped the patch, proudly placing it over his eye once more. “Ah, now that’s better.”

“Ok, everyone,” Greg grinned, putting the captain’s hat back on as he took the boat’s wheel once again. “Let’s set a course for fun!”

Though Lake Gravity Falls was quite sizable, it was still a rather small lake compared to the boat itself, which was why there really weren’t too many places it could go upon it. Still, that hardly stopped the small group aboard from enjoying themselves in whatever ways they could. They snacked on their small stash of cold cut sandwiches alongside a bottle of sparkling orange juice served in fancy glasses (a ritual Lapis didn’t quite understand and didn’t really know how to indulge in even as everyone else did). Still, Lapis watched on the sidelines as Steven and Mabel engaged in a pretend “pirate duel” with the decorative swords on deck (a duel Greg was quick to put a nervous stop to when he realized the swords, however dull they might have been, were still made of actual metal). After that, they all took a break to lounge out on the boat’s open deck, soaking in the rays of the warm summer sun, though most of the while, though Lapis found herself preoccupied with two other completely different sights instead. The first was the lake, its calm, quiet, cerulean waters practically taunting her with thoughts of the dark, empty prison she knew lay just beneath them. But then there was Dipper, who was hardly engaging in the activities Mabel and Steven had planned as he instead leaned against the boat’s railing to stare out at the lake himself. Lapis took a break from “sunbathing” to join him, hoping to ask him more about what Steven and Mabel had only hinted at before. And yet, before she could get as much as a hello out, the aforementioned pair rushed over to pull them both back into more of the “fun” they had in store. 

That next bout of fun was up on the bridge, namely in the form of the ship’s pull horn. Though Lapis didn’t understand the appeal at first, she quickly did upon giving it a small, experimental tug, only for the horn to loudly blare out, echoing across the entire lake. The blue Gem couldn’t help but be completely charmed by the rather grating noise, letting out a full, genuine laugh as she pulled on the horn over and over again, much to the kids’ delight and Stan and Greg’s chagrin. Even Dipper couldn’t help but muster a small, warm chuckle upon seeing just how much Lapis seemed to be enjoying herself through something so simple, even if it wasn’t the easiest on the ears.

After about an hour or so, the nearly-nonstop bellowing of the horn finally fell silent, a relieving change of pace for Stan and Greg in particular as they continued fishing off the far side of the boat. “Oh thank god, they finally stopped,” the conman let out a sigh of relief as he uncovered his ears. “I thought I was gonna go deaf. Well, even more deaf,” he said, tapping his hearing aid. 

Greg let out an amused laugh at this, though as he did, he happened to notice Lapis and the kids coming down from the bridge to join them. “Oh, hey, you guys!” he greeted them with a smile. “Finally get enough of that horn?”

“...WHAT?!” Steven shouted obliviously, his ears still still blaring with the lingering noise of the horn. 

“What are you doing?” Lapis asked, curiously eyeing the pairs’ fishing rods.

“Catching fish,” Greg explained, casting his line out into the water once more. 

“Or at least we’re trying to,” Stan grumbled, boredly leaning against the railing. “Those suckers just aren’t biting today…”

“Oh, maybe I can help!” Lapis volunteered, her tone surprisingly eager. Taking in a deep breath, she easily connected with the body of water before her, calling upon a massive swath of it just below the surface. Everyone else watched in apt awe as she easily pulled that swath up, an immense mass of water rising up into the air just above them, one that encased more fish than they could have ever hoped to catch swimming inside. 

“Whoa…” Dipper said, quite impressed. “Lapis, that’s amazing!”

The blue Gem practically beamed upon hearing this, more than happy to meet the bright smile he was sending her way. A smile that she unquestionably treasured, yet unfortunately hadn’t seen enough of today, as much as she wished she had. 

“That’s a pretty… uh, fancy way of catching fish…” Greg noted with a bit of a nervous chuckle. 

“Fancy?” Stan scoffed. “Pfft, some might call it overkill.”

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel chastised, hoping that the conman’s rather callous remark didn’t offend the blue Gem. 

“That’s ‘cause Lapis is supa strong!” Steven proclaimed with a dramatic flex. 

“Well, uh… I appreciate the gesture,” Greg said, trying to be as tactful as he could. “But I-I think it would be safer to stick to the old-fashioned way of doing it…”

“Oh, uh… sure.” Flustered, Lapis was quick to pull her “catch” back down into the lake itself, creating a sizable wave in the process, one that shook the entire boat before the water settled itself back down. “So… how do you fish the old-fashioned way?”

“Oh, it’s pretty simple,” Greg reeled his line back in so he could demonstrate. “You start with a rod, and you put a hook at the end of your line. And then, when you feel a nibble, you reel it in. And there it is; you’ve caught yourself a fish to eat!”

“Or to sell if you manage to catch a peppermint angelfish or a freshwater polka dot stingray,” Stan piped up. “Those kinda puppies will land you the big bucks, whether you’re sellin’ em legally or not‒n-not that I would know.”

“But why would a fish ever bite a hook?” Lapis asked, confused. 

“You got to bait it,” Greg said, reaching into his nearby tackle box. “Put something on it you know it wants, like a worm or a $20 bill.”

“Now that’s my kind of bait!” Stan grinned greedily. 

“We’ll keep that in mind the next time we need to fish you out of a lake, Mr. Pines,” Greg chuckled alongside Steven and Mabel. At the same time, he cast his baited line out into the lake to properly show Lapis how fishing was usually done.

And like how fishing usually went, the group ended up waiting quite some time for even a nibble to become apparent. Stan had all but fallen asleep in his sunchair, his own fishing pole completely forgotten as Greg minded them both instead. Lapis and the kids lazily leaned against the boat’s railing, keeping an eye on the water, even if there was no sign of any sort of underlying fish to be found. 

“So when does the fish part happen?” Lapis asked boredly. 

“Well, sometimes it isn’t about the fish you keep, but the company you catch,” Greg said with a sly wink, though none of the others really caught his drift. At that exact moment, however, a sharp, sudden pull on his fishing pole caught the former rock star’s attention instead. “Whoa! I got a bite!” Greg tightened his grip on the fishing rod as whatever it had caught began to pull aggressively against it. “Lapis, here! Give it a try!” he offered the blue Gem the pole, and though she had her reservations, she took it. 

“Like this?” she asked, starting to reel the line in. 

“You got it!” Greg grinned as the kids crowded close to watch. “Looks like it’s a big one!”

Lapis set her focus on her rod as she continued to steadily reel it in, though whatever was on the hook quickly tugged hard on the line, abruptly yanking the blue Gem forward along with it. Lapis stumbled forward, but fortunately everyone else was quick to respond, calling out to her in concern as they hurried to help hold her steady so she could keep the struggle going. 

“Y-You got this, Lapis!” Steven encouraged with a loud grunt as he and Mabel clung onto the straining blue Gem. “Reel it in!”

“It’s… pulling… so hard!” Lapis shouted, pulling back against the unseen fish or force that she was so, so close to landing. So very close to the surface, yet still so far away. 

Just as Malachite had been all that time. 

Lapis gasped just as the fishing rod suddenly snapped under the immense pressure completely. Its other half flew into the water as whatever it had caught got away, leaving everyone to run to the side of the boat to see if they could catch so much as even a glimpse of it. Lapis in particular kept a close eye on the lake as it calmed once more, her sudden panic starting to die down as she realized the only reflection she saw on the water was her own. 

“Dang it, Greg!” Stan fussed as he finally awakened from his brief nap. “We weren’t supposed to break any of these!”

“Yeah…” Greg winced as he looked over the broken rod. “Looks like this pole rental just turned into a pole purchase. But, you did a great job tangling with that beast, Lapis.”

“Yeah! I totally thought you had it!” Mabel added, hands on her hips. 

“B-but don’t worry about the one that got away,” Steven encouraged with a small smile. 

Lapis simply returned their praise with a terse, unreadable nod as she realized that their party was now one short for some reason. Mostly since that missing one among them had quietly slipped away long before her fight against that unknown catch had even begun. 

“Welp, that’s my adventure quota for the day,” Greg concluded as he began putting the tackle box away. “I’ll be at the controls. Holler if you need me.”

“And I’ll be raiding that cooler to see if there’s any of that fancy orange juice left,” Stan said as he also began to head out. “Fishing’s thirsty work; it’s got me parched.”

“But Grunkle Stan, you were just napping most of the time,” Mabel pointed out. 

“Yeah, well napping’s thirsty work too.” 

With the adults heading off to their own devices, Mabel and Steven were more than ready to keep their excitable plans for the day going, even if fishing had gone somewhat awry. “Ok, Lapis, what do you…” Steven trailed off as they both realized the blue Gem had also stepped away at some point. “Lapis?”

For her part, Lapis had returned to the main deck, where it didn’t take her very long to find Dipper. He sat on one of the lounge chairs, his chin perched against his hands as he silently watched the dark clouds that were starting to roll in over the lake. And as the blue Gem slowly came to take a seat alongside him, she noticed just how tense and apprehensive his expression really was. She had every reason to suspect why that was, and couldn’t help but feel guilty that she hadn’t done more to try and change that. Though still, she figured now was better late than never.

“Dipper?” Lapis spoke up, finally breaking him out of whatever thoughts he had been distracted by. 

“Oh! Lapis!” he started, quickly turning to her as he put on a clearly fake smile. “H-how’d fishing go?”

“It… went…” the blue Gem glanced down. “Why’d you leave?”

“Ah, I-I… just wanted a little peace and quiet, is all,” Dipper said, offering an excuse Lapis could see right through the moment he said it.

“Oh,” she replied, though this time, she refused to simply leave it there. “Dipper, a-are… are you all right?”

“What?” Dipper blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Y-yeah, of course I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be? Are you all right, Lapis?”

Lapis flinched, not wanting to face such an inquiry, especially as she accidentally stole another small glance toward the lake once more. “I-I… l-let’s focus on you instead,” she countered as evenly as she could. “You’ve been so quiet all day. I know something’s wrong-” she hesitated, not wanting to give specifics about how or what she knew just yet. “So… if you want to tell me about it, then I-”

“No!” Dipper said, a bit too fast and a bit too forcefully. “I-I… I mean, it’s… seriously nothing, Lapis. You don’t have to worry about it. It’s really not important.”

“It’s important to me,” Lapis said earnestly, knowing, practically feeling that he was lying to her. “If something’s bothering you, then… maybe there’s some I can help somehow. I want to help.”

For a moment, the most Dipper could do was look to her in disbelief before he shook his head almost bitterly. “Lapis, I-I appreciate it, but really, I don’t need any help. Besides, today isn’t supposed to be about me; this whole lake trip was supposed to be to help you.”

“B-but I don’t deserve help!” Lapis argued far more fiercely than she had meant to. “Everyone’s so worried about making me feel better, but we should be worrying about you! Especially after what you went through!”

“After what I-” Dipper stopped short at this, confused. “Lapis, what are you talking about?”

The blue Gem faltered at this, knowing that the last thing she wanted to do was openly bring up what was obviously such a painful memory, but she couldn’t help herself. He needed to know just how much he needed this. “T-the deal, Dipper! I’m talking about the deal you made with t-that… that Bill guy that almost got you killed!”

Dipper froze, completely taken aback, upon hearing Lapis mention that terrible deal. A deal he’d done all he could to keep her from finding out about ever since she returned, for more reasons than one. “W-what… h-how do you know about-”

Before he could even get another stunned word out, the entire boat was suddenly rocked as something seemed to crash hard into the side of it below the surface of the water. Just as the ship seemed to settle once more, it took another heavy hit, one that nearly knocked Dipper and Lapis off their feet completely as they wondered to themselves about what was happening. 

Mabel and Steven wondered the same thing as they took a detour on their way back to the main deck to stop by the bride to check in with Stan and Greg. “I-is everything ok, First Mate Dad?” Steven asked, concerned. 

“Shh!” Greg quieted, glancing up from the boat manual he’d been pouring over. “You hear that?”

The group paused to listen for any further disruption below the boat, but strangely, they were only met with silence on all sides. “Uh… no?” Mabel frowned, confused. 

“Maybe whatever it was is gone now,” Steven theorized. 

“Well, at least that’s one good thing,” Greg sighed. “I think something’s wrong with the boat.”

“Augh!” Stan growled, trying his hardest to move the boat’s otherwise stiff wheel. “Nope, something’s definitely wrong with the boat. The rudder won’t move for anything. Something down there must be throwing it off.”

Mabel let out a sharp, dramatic gasp at this. “Maybe it’s the Gobblewonker!”

“Or Mr. McGucket’s Gobblewonker robot!” Steven added just as zealously. 

“Would you two pipe down?” Stan rolled his eyes as he began fiddling with the ship’s control panel. “It’s not a robot or some stupid lake monster. We probably just hit a rock or something. What’s that manual of yours have to say, Greg?”

“I-it’s really not any help,” the former rock star frowned as he flipped through the book. “It’s mostly just advice on sun tanning and what crackers go with caviar!”

“Well, what crackers go with caviar?” Steven asked. 

“Water crackers!”

“Ayyyy!” the pair exclaimed, exchanging a set of wry, playful grins. The levity was immediately broken, however as the boat violently shook once more, this time accompanied by a small, yet prominent explosion from somewhere inside the ship itself. The group wasted no time in rushing down to the boat’s small engine room, though as soon as Greg pried open the hatch, thick, dark smoke immediately started pouring out from it. 

“Oh, crud! The engine!” Greg exclaimed, distraught. “I-I don’t know anything about fixing an engine! Do you, Mr. Pines?”

“Er… I can take a swing at trying, but I can’t make any promises,” Stan said as he began looking over the busted engine. “But either way, we’re gonna be out here for a while…”

Mabel and Steven exchanged a fretful glance upon hearing this, but all the same, they left the pair to work on the engine so they could relay the unfortunate message to the boat’s other two passengers. In the aftermath of the explosion and how it shook but the boat once again, Lapis was in the midst of helping Dipper back up onto his feet, checking over him to make sure he was unharmed as Steven and Mabel arrived. 

“Uh, guys?” the young Gem spoke up. “We have some… not-so-great news. There’s trouble with the engine and… it looks like we’re stuck out here for now…”

“Great…” Dipper muttered as Lapis let out a low, disappointed sigh. “As if anything else could go wrong today…”

“W-well, let’s try to look on the bright side!” Mabel chimed in. “At least it’s not raining!” Almost at that exact moment, however, raindrops began sprinkling down from the dark, dreary skies above, growing more steady with each passing second. “...How did I do that…?” Mabel wondered, amazed by her apt timing. 

“I-I’m sorry!” Steven professed to Lapis in particular. “This whole thing is our fault! We just wanted you to have fun, but everything’s turned into a mess. We shouldn’t have made you come on this trip…”

“No,” Lapis spoke up, her tone cold as she turned to face the side of the ship. “It’s my fault. I’m the one to blame.”

“What?” the young Gem shook his head. “No, it’s not-”

“I’m really trying to enjoy it out here, but… I can’t stop thinking about being fused as Malachite,” Lapis confessed, not even noticing Dipper tense up beside her at the mere mention of the twisted fusion. “How I used all my strength to hold her down in the lake, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me…”

“Lapis…” Steven began, though Dipper was quick to interject before he could say anything else. 

“W-what does any of that even matter anymore?!” he countered harshly, clearly agitated by the mere discussion alone. “That’s all over now! Malachite’s gone. You don’t have to be with Jasper ever again!”

“T-that’s not it…” Lapis said quietly, shame filling her expression as she finally glanced back at the kids behind her to reveal the horrible truth. “I… I miss her…”

“What?!” All three of the kids exclaimed, shocked by the very thought. 

“W-we were fused for so long…” the blue Gem practically whispered, shaken as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. 

“But… she’s terrible!” Steven protested anxiously. 

“I’m terrible!” Lapis argued, fully turning to the trio. “I did horrible things! I left Ford behind on Homeworld! I stole the lake! Go on! Tell me I’m wrong!”

Steven and Mabel were more than prepared to try and do exactly that, but once again, Dipper beat them both to the chase on a seemingly different tangent entirely. “You miss her…” he began, letting out a bitter scoff as he did. “Even after everything she put you through, after everything she did?! After everything I did to try to help you?!”

“Dipper-” Lapis tried to counter, though he was far too incensed to back down now. 

“I know what you went through was awful, I get that. But you have no idea what I put myself through to just to get you back!” he practically shouted, outraged that she’d make light of all the sacrifices he’d made by so much as hinting that she wanted to go back to what he’d only barely managed to help rescue her from. “I was ready to do nothing else but sit on the shore for the rest of the summer waiting for you! I stayed awake for nights on end trying to figure out a way to help you! I risked my life several times against Malachite and you did basically nothing to stop her! And worst of all, you asked me about that deal I made with Bill earlier? Well, you wanna know why I even did that in the first place?”

“Dipper, stop-” Mabel tried to interject, especially as she noticed the growing, fearful alarm in Lapis’ eyes brought on by his outburst. Yet even so, he kept going with the truth he could no longer keep buried under the surface, even for as horrible as it was. 

“For you, Lapis!” he finished, tears starting to brim in his eyes even against his immense fury. “I nearly lost my body, my life‒all because I wanted to save you! And what do you want, even after all that? To go back to being with Jasper, back to being Malachite, like the rest of us‒like I don’t even matter!” 

For a moment, the most Lapis could do in response to such a harsh accusation was remorsefully accept it, largely because she had no idea how to argue against it. Because really, if all that was indeed true, if Dipper really had almost lost so much in a last-ditch effort to help her, then that was just another reason--perhaps the very worst of all--on the already substantial list as to why she didn’t deserve any sort of kindness or support at all after every terrible thing she’d done. 

Once again, Steven and Mabel wanted to speak up to try and ease the heavily palpable tension between the pair, yet before they could, that tension was broken altogether by the boat heavily jolting once more. This time, however, the steady tremors didn’t stop as something heavy latched onto the ship’s anchor chain, lurching the entire vessel to the side as something, or rather someone, began to climb up it. For a few breathless, uncertain seconds, the group on board glanced around frantically, unsure of what was happening. That is, until that someone finally reached the deck itself, the last Gem any of them could have expected--or wanted--to see: Jasper. 

The orange Gem easily heaved herself onto the boat, ignoring the shared gasps of shock from everyone else as she rose to properly stand, a wide, almost demented grin spread across her face as she set her sights on Lapis in particular. “Finally,” she said, a burst of heavy thunder crashing over the lake at the exact same time. “I thought I’d never catch up to you!”

“J-Jasper…” Lapis barely managed to choke, though at the same time, she instinctively held a protective arm in front of the trio of kids behind her. “You… you’ve been following us?”

“I’ve been following you,” Jasper’s menacing grin deepened as she took a bold step forward.

Lapis flinched back in apt fear at this, though Steven was the first to step forward, his shield already formed over his arm. “Stay back!” he shouted bravely as he came to stand between the two Gems. Likewise, Mabel brazenly joined him, even without her grappling hook (which she hadn’t brought along on the trip) in hand. Dipper, on the other hand, hung back behind Lapis, taking a small step backward as he watched the frightening situation unfold carefully, quietly. Just out of Jasper’s notice all the while.

For her part, Jasper let out a twisted, amused laugh as she glanced down at the young pair before her haughtily. “This dulled-down version of Rose Quartz works for you now? Along with one of her dumb human pets?” she sneered callously as she nodded back up to Lapis. “You’re pointing that shield the wrong way. She’s the one you should be afraid of.”

“T-that’s not true,” Lapis tried to protest, though there was no conviction behind her words. 

“You can’t lie to me,” Jasper asserted. “I’ve seen what you’re capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you… you’re a monster.”

Lapis froze, terror filling her entire form, though it was hardly aimed at Jasper. Instead, it was fear reserved solely for herself, for what she knew she could do, what she had done. Fear that what the orange Gem had just said was true; that she really was a monster after all. “I-I…”  she trailed off, unsure of how to argue against that blatant truth. Even if Steven and Mabel were more than ready to do that for her. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Mabel defended, resolute. 

“Yeah! Lapis doesn’t want anything to do with you!” Steven added just as firmly as he held his shield steady.

Jasper let out a severe, aggravated growl at this show of resistance, one that she didn’t hesitate to remove from her path through sheer force alone. “This is between US!” she shouted, brutally lashing out at the pair. Fortunately, Steven’s shield took the brunt of the heavy blow, but it was still enough to send them both flying across the deck, resulting in them roughly landing quite a ways behind the orange Gem. 

“Steven! Mabel!” Lapis anxiously called, aptly alarmed. Likewise, Dipper nearly made his first move to join the confrontation, though he stopped short upon seeing that Steven and Mabel were largely fine, if not a bit disoriented from the attack. 

At the same time, Jasper stopped Lapis in her tracks, tightly grabbing her by the wrist with both hands as she fell to her knees before the blue Gem. And then, she looked up to her manically, almost desperately even as she made her horrific proposal. “Let’s be Malachite again!”

Needless to say, Lapis was completely caught off guard by such a bizarre, demented request as she practically felt the orange Gem’s obvious madness from the tightness of her clinging grip alone. “Why… why would you want that?!” she dared to ask, unable to imagine why anyone would willingly, eagerly desire to go back to being chained down and trapped like Jasper had been with her. 

“I was wrong about fusion!” the orange Gem professed with an unhinged smile. “You made me understand! Malachite was bigger and stronger than both of us! We could fly!”

“L-Lapis!” Steven shouted as he began to help Mabel back up. “Don’t listen to her!”

“Stay out of this!” Jasper barked back at him as she stood once more. 

At the same time, Lapis shook her head incredulously, her thoughts racing far too fast for her to even try to keep up with any of them. “I… I was terrible to you…” she began, her voice shaking just as much as her entire body was. “I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to‒I hated you! Malachite hated existing so much! It was bad!”

“I-it’ll be better this time!” Jasper argued, taking her hands once more, even as she tried to pull them away. “I’ve changed! You’ve changed me! I’m the only one who can handle your kind of power! Together, we’ll be unstoppable!”

Somewhere in the distance, thunder echoed off the lake once more, though Lapis barely heard it as she let Jasper take her hands once more. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as everything else grew hazy and distant, save for the orange Gem and what she was trying to promise her, what she was trying to get from her. And for the briefest of moments, that offer, that plea, almost sounded tantalizing. Because if Jasper was right about anything, it was that Malachite was powerful, that she had felt powerful while they were together. That, for the first time in centuries of being trapped and lost and alone, she had felt strong, she had felt like she had actually been in control of something, even if that something was a twisted, self-loathing mess of a fusion. It was an appeasing kind of control, even if it came at the expense of someone else and even herself. And for the briefest, tiniest of moments, she honestly considered taking that control for herself once more. 

And yet…

“And what do you want, even after all that?” Dipper had asked her just moments ago, tears in his eyes and anger in his voice. Anger that made complete and perfect sense, all things considered. “To go back to being with Jasper, back to being Malachite, like the rest of us‒like I don’t even matter!” 

 Is that what she wanted? Did she really want to tear herself away from people who she genuinely cared about, who cared about her in return‒people like Dipper and Mabel and Steven‒just to go back to someone she unquestionably, deeply hated like Jasper? Was whatever kind of demented control she had as Malachite really worth it to betray their trust, to turn away from their kindness, to do the very thing Dipper had accused her of by making his own sacrifices for her completely meaningless in the end?

All it took was the smallest of glances at Steven and Mabel far ahead of her, and perhaps most importantly of all, the most discreet look at Dipper still standing behind her, for Lapis to make the choice she knew she’d always stand by from here on out. Because she knew, above all else, what truly mattered to  her most of all. 

“No!” she exclaimed firmly, tearing her hands out of Jasper’s as she glared up at her bravely. 

“What?” Jasper hissed, narrowing her eyes down at the blue Gem. 

“What we had wasn’t healthy!” Lapis said, resolved and unshaken. “I never want to feel like I felt with you. Never again! So just go!”

“But Lapis!” Jasper tried to argue, though she didn’t get very far before someone else stepped in between her and the blue Gem instead. 

“She said no,” Dipper began coldly, sending a relentless glare up at the much larger orange Gem as he came to stand protectively in front of Lapis. “So leave her alone!”

“Dipper… I…” Lapis trailed off, unsure of what to say. Yet even so, Dipper briefly glanced back at her with a small, assuring smile, one that carried the promise that he was on her side, no matter what happened.

Briefly, genuine surprise filled Jasper’s expression at this intrusion, until sharp, sweeping rage rushed in to take the place of that surprise instead. “You again…” she growled hatefully, recognizing the continually interloping human before her immediately. “You always have to come to her rescue, don’t you? You may have ruined Malachite for me before, but I’m not about to let you take her away from me this time!”

In an instant, Jasper latched out, though this time, it wasn’t toward Lapis. Instead, she abruptly grabbed Dipper by the arm and roughly yanked him toward her, pulling him out of Lapis’ reach even as she made a panicked, yet failed attempt at saving him. Of course, from the very moment Jasper latched onto him, Dipper began struggling against her heavy hold, though all his attempts to pull away and free himself did little against the orange Gem’s immense strength as she found a way to turn the tables on Lapis completely. “Listen, Lapis, you “care” about this human, right?” she asked, sending a disgusted, disgruntled nod down at Dipper as he beat against her arm with his free hand as hard as he could. An effort that she easily ignored, despite how desperate it was. 

“L-leave him alone!” Lapis begged, her hands held up in tight, shaking fists as she looked between Dipper and Jasper anxiously. “Please, Jasper, this is just between you and me. He isn’t part of this. Let him go!” 

“I’d say he is part of this since he’s the reason you even agreed to fuse with me in the first place! And he’s gonna be the reason why we fuse again,” Jasper retorted, tightening her grip on Dipper’s arm to the point that it felt like it was going to snap right in two. Lapis winced as she heard him let out a small, involuntary cry of pain, one that shook her to her very core, especially as Jasper continued her cruel demands. “Either you form Malachite with me right here, right now, or…”

“O-or what?” Lapis practically whispered, her eyes wide with terror all the while.

“Or I take your precious human here somewhere you’ll never be able to find him,” Jasper finished, her tone deadly serious. 

“Dipper!” Steven and Mabel both exclaimed, aptly horrified upon hearing this. Without hesitation, they both acted on the same beat, joining hands as they prepared to form Maven so they could take Jasper head-on and save him. And yet, just before they could, Dipper managed to glance back at them, the fear in his expression obvious, though something else was there too. A certain sort of steadiness that came paired with him putting a silent hand up to stop them, almost as if he was sending them the unspoken message that he had a plan. Which, by all accounts, he did, especially as he noticed one of the decorative swords that had fallen by the wayside earlier lying on the ground just a few feet away from him. 

“I… you… you can’t do that to him!” Lapis shouted at Jasper, furious yet deeply afraid all at the same time. 

“I can, and I will,” Jasper coldly assured. “It’s either gonna be you, Lapis, or your human. Your choice.”

By this point, Lapis was nearly on the verge of tears as she glanced down mournfully. Because without even thinking twice, she knew what she had to do. She had already made the choice against becoming Malachite again on her own volition, out of her own desire to. But if it was for Dipper, if it could keep him safe now just as she had once thought it had before, then she would gladly, readily make that choice to give up her freedom again for him. For him, she’d do just about anything.

“O-ok…” Lapis whispered softly, sadly, as she prepared to return to the prison she’d hoped she’d never see again. “I… I’ll fuse with you.”

“Perfect,” Jasper said with a beaming, leering grin. Lapis simply closed her eyes as Jasper extended her free hand out to her once more, and yet just before it could reach the blue Gem, her approach was brought to a literal swift stop. 

It happened in an instant so quick that Jasper didn’t even catch it until after it happened. A blade that was otherwise completely dull came down on her hand with such a great amount of force behind it that it sliced through her wrist completely. Her hand instantly vanished into particles of the light her form was composed of, and as she let out a startled gasp by the unexpected amputation, her other hand just so happened to release its firm hold on her captive that had done this to her in the first place. 

Jasper only briefly paid any attention to her now stub of a wrist as she instead noticed Dipper, now free and armed with one of the decorative swords, taking his place between her and Lapis once more. The orange Gem glared daggers down at him, but Dipper met her ire evenly with his blade in hand, ready to use it in an instant if need be. “You will never, ever fuse with Lapis again,” he told her, his tone icy and unyielding. “Not as long as I’m around to help her.”

Jasper let out a loud, infuriated shout at this, her helmet forming over her head as she easily reformed her missing hand. “Then I guess that means it’s time to get rid of you ONCE AND FOR ALL!” she yelled, raising her head to bring down a vicious attack. Yet it was one that never landed, even though Dipper was brazely ready to face. For instead, at that very moment, Lapis reacted to rush to his rescue instead, throwing her hand up swiftly into the air. Along with the movement, a massive, powerful fist of water also burst through the boat itself, breaking through the boards just under the orange Gem’s feet before striking her hard. The incredible force of the blow was more than enough to send Jasper flying, not just off of the boat, but away from the lake entirely as she was helplessly flung far away into the surrounding forest. Her threatening presence gone for now, but hardly forgotten. 

In the immediate, newfound peace that followed, Dipper let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in as he lowered his sword and turned to Lapis with a small, relieved smile. “Lapis, that was-”

She immediately cut him off as she swiftly pulled him into a tight, protective embrace, her form still trembling with remnant terror as she rushed to check over him. “Are you ok? Did she hurt you?” she asked him frantically, holding his face in her hands so she could inspect it for any sort of injuries. 

“N-no, I… I’m fine,” he assured her, placing a comforting hand against her arm. Lapis responded by loosening her grip on him, letting out a small, tired sigh though she hardly returned his allayed smile. 

“Dipper!” Almost out of nowhere, the pair was caught off guard as Mabel suddenly crashed into Dipper, wrapping him up in a tight, elated hug. “What you just did was totally awesome! I mean, cutting off Jasper’s hand? That was like the most metal thing I think you’ve ever done, bro-bro!”

“Heh, thanks,” Dipper chuckled somewhat bashfully. 

“And Lapis, you were amazing too!” Steven chimed in brightly, beaming at the blue Gem. “The way you stood up to Jasper was so brave! Not to mention how you sent her packing at the end there.”

“Yeah…” Lapis frowned, glancing away in shame. “Brave…”

“I-is everyone all right?!” Greg called as he and Stan turned the corner to arrive on the main deck. They were quickly met with a surprising sight, however, as they noticed the gaping hole in the center of the vessel, one that was quickly causing it to sink lower and lower into the water with each passing second. 

“Geez, I probably could have fixed the engine in like, an hour or two,” Stan remarked, hands on his hips. “You kids didn’t have to go and just trash the thing like this.”

“W-wha… what happened?” Greg asked, aptly distraught by the irreparable damage. 

“Uh… It’s… kind of a long story,” Steven said, leading the way to the highest edge of the boat. Lapis was quick to create another large hand of solid water, one that most everyone was easily able to fit on for the ride back to shore. The blue Gem stopped Dipper short of hopping on it however, as she instead silently offered him a different mode of transportation as she summoned her aquatic wings instead. He took the hint and climbed on her back, holding on as she took flight and guided the watery hand she’d made for the others across the lake, leaving the now abandoned, defunct vessel behind as it sunk into the water entirely. 

“I guess I bought a boat after all,” Greg sighed as he watched the boat disappear below the depths. 

“Yeah, one you can’t even use,” Stan remarked. “What a ripoff! Oh well, at least I managed to snag the treasure chest-shaped cooler on our way out.” He grinned, holding up said cooler for everyone to see. 

“Ooo, well that’s better than nothing, right, Dad?” Steven said with a small grin. 

“Yeah… I guess it is,” Greg agreed, fondly ruffling his son’s hair. 

It didn’t take long for Lapis to get everyone safely back to the dock they’d started from, though instead of landing upon it herself, she instead took flight once more with Dipper in tow. “Huh, I wonder where they’re going,” Mabel said as she watched them take to the skies. “Maybe we should follow them? Just to make sure they’re ok?”

“...I think they’ll be fine,” Steven assured, keeping his sights set on the pair as well. “Looks like they just need some time to themselves.”

At the same time, Dipper couldn’t help but glance back at the dock they were leaving behind from his spot on Lapis’ back. Instead, she seemed to be taking him up toward the falls above the lake, something that couldn’t help but confuse him given her relative silence since the boat had sunk. “Lapis, what’s going on? Where are we going?” he finally asked her a moment later. 

“...We need to talk,” was all the blue Gem said as she kept going, not even bothering to so much as even look back at him. The rest of the flight was steeped in silence on both sides, even as they arrived at the top of the waterfall cliff. Yet almost as soon as Lapis set Dipper down on solid ground, that silence swiftly, suddenly came to an end. 

The moment Lapis landed, she was quick to turn to face him, her manner and tone quite severe, even though the underlying hints of fear and worry were clear in both as she spoke adamantly. “What in the world were you thinking, Dipper?” she asked. “What you did back there… Standing up to Jasper like that… you could have gotten yourself killed!”

“W-what was I thinking?” Dipper countered in disbelief at such a question. “I was thinking about how I was willing to do whatever I had to to keep you from fusing with her again! You’d already told her no, but then, when she threatened me, it was like suddenly none of that even mattered anymore!”

“It didn’t matter!” Lapis shot back fiercely. “Why don’t you understand that all that matters to me is keeping you safe?! Why else do you think I even fused with her in the first place?!”

“Oh, so what Jasper said is true, then?” he countered angrily. “The only reason you became Malachite to begin with was because of me, right?!”

“Ye--no!” she quickly corrected herself. “No, of course that’s not true! I… I just…” she sighed, bitterly. “I fused with Jasper because I thought it was the only way I could keep her as far away from you as possible. That’s why I was ready to do the same thing again today. I… I don’t want you to get hurt; I never wanted that…”

“Well, it’s way too late for that,” he scoffed coldly, crossing his arms as he turned away from. “When you fused with her, when you trapped yourself at the bottom of the lake, it did hurt me…” He paused, shaking his head remorsefully as he tried his hardest to fight back tears. “It hurt me so, so much because I knew, right from the very beginning, that it was all my fault. You were gone, a-and I missed you, and you were just down there suffering non-stop and… and I couldn’t do anything to help you. A-and every time I tried… I… things always just got even worse…”

For what seemed like ages, Lapis was silent as she watched Dipper take a solemn seat on the edge of the cliff. Not knowing what else to do, she joined him, waiting an hesitant moment or two before posing a question she knew she shouldn’t even ask. “W-what actually happened?” she began slowly. “W-with that Bill guy, I mean. Steven and Mabel told me a little, a-about how he tricked you into making a deal to help me, but… I don’t know much else outside of that.”

Dipper let out a long, weary sigh, placing his face in his hands as he finally decided to come clean. “It was stupid…” he muttered crossly. “I was stupid. He promised he’d help me figure out a way to save you in exchange for a puppet. But what he didn’t tell me was that I was actually the puppet he had in mind. So he stole my body, took it for a joy ride, intentionally hurt it--practically killed it, and nearly did the same to Mabel and Steven too until they barely managed to kick him out of it so I could take it back. But even then, i-it’s taken me a really long time to recover, both inside and out. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really will at all” 

Lapis didn’t initially say a word in response to this tale of incredible woe as she let it sink in, along with the heavy wave of guilt that came along with it. “Y-you… went through all of that… because of me…” she said, her voice barely a whisper, though it was heavy with shame all the same. 

“N-no, Lapis, I… I shouldn’t have said that earlier,” Dipper quickly countered. “I-I didn’t mean it, I was just upset-”

“And you have every right to be!” Lapis interrupted sharply. “You were right, Dipper; you did so much to try and help me, a-and what did I do? I nearly went and fused with Jasper all over again like it was nothing!”

“But you were going to do it for me,” he retorted firmly. “And that’s not nothing.” Unsure of what else to say, he sighed once more, lying back to lay in the grass as his feet dangled over the edge of the cliff. It didn’t take Lapis to join him, and for a long, quiet, almost peaceful moment, the pair rested in silence, watching as the stormy clouds above began to clear out for sunny skies once more. “Isn’t that messed up?” Dipper finally said with a small, yet bittersweet laugh. “How we both put ourselves through something so terrible just so we could try to help each other?”

“Yeah…” Lapis muttered fretfully. “It is…”

“Maybe… maybe that’s not how this is supposed to be,” Dipper continued, his tone sincere. “There’s gotta be better ways to protect your friends out there than losing your body to a psychotic demon or trapping yourself in an unstable fusion deep below a lake.”

“Well, if there is, I’d love to hear it,” the blue Gem remarked as she rested her hands behind her head.

“...Sword fighting was what helped me,” Dipper said as he sat up once more. “It gave me a better way to keep the people I care about safe, a-and best of all, it finally helped me feel safe again when I wasn’t sure if I ever world. So… maybe we just need to find something like that for you too.”

“We could always start with fishing,” Lapis joked, eliciting a small, warm laugh from Dipper that she couldn’t help but join in on. Once the beat of much-needed levity passed, however, there were still hints of worry lingering in the air between them. 

“Lapis…” Dipper began earnestly. “Are you alright after… well, everything?”

“Yeah,” the blue Gem nodded as she properly sat up herself. “I think I’ll be ok. What about you? Steven and Mabel mentioned something about you having… ‘nightmares’?”

“Oh, those…” Dipper frowned, wishing that the pair hadn’t been so presumptive, even if they were correct. “They’re just… I-I… I don’t know where they’re coming from. I mean, Bill is a dream demon so I guess it makes sense that he keeps showing up in my dreams, but, it’s not like he can really do anything since Grunkle Ford and I put that barrier up to keep him from getting into the shack. Still, I-I don’t know, it’s just… weird. Nobody’s even heard anything from Bill in a really long time and now suddenly, right out of nowhere, he keeps popping up in my nightmares again when he hasn’t in weeks? I know I’m probably wrong‒I hope I’m wrong, but… I can’t help but feel like something really… bad is about to happen soon…”

“Well, if this ‘Bill Cipher’ does show up trying to hurt you again,” Lapis began with a hint of firm resolve in her tone. “Then you better believe I’ll make sure he never gets the chance to again. He won’t mess with you again, not as long as I’m around.”

Dipper couldn’t help but smile upon hearing this, knowing that this comforting promise essentially echoed his own to the blue Gem. And perhaps, if the need ever arose again, then they could both find better ways to keep those promises than they had before, in the hopes that they would never need to be so cruelly separated as they’d been before ever again. 

A beat of gentle, contented silence passed between the pair just as the late afternoon sun started to set beyond the distant cliffs. It cast a bright, almost golden glow upon the waters of the lake far below them, a lake that had once been a place of such strife for them both, but now, only seemed to radiate peace and tranquility instead. “You know,” Dipper said with a soft, easy smile as he enjoyed the view. “The lake really is beautiful from up here.”

“Yeah,” Lapis earnestly agreed as she gently, affectionately ruffled his hair. She had no doubts she’d always treasure moments like these, because even if they’d been so hard fought for by sacrifices and guilt and grief on both of their ends, they were moments they’d finally managed to somehow win at long, long last. “It is.”

Next:

#again pelase read this on ao3 or ff.net instead dumblr is blueh #jen writes #universe falls #steven universe #gravity falls #steven universe gravity falls crossover #crossover fanfic #au #alone on the lake #lapis #dipper #mabel #steven #jasper #greg #stan #alone at sea #keyword is fishing

[chrisbangs]

so i guess i could type like a practical person for once……. maybe………. but i probably won’t so i apologize ahead of time……… anyway, so i hit? 1k…..? after remaking only 3 months ago... to me that’s pretty crazy because as a lot of my older mutuals will know, i remake like every 0.38 seconds because i’m annoying like that… to the people who’ve been here since forever (you know who you are) it means a lot that you’ve stuck with me through blog type changes (there’s like 1 or 2 of you who’ve just been around since The Beginning and wowza thank you for dealing with me like that ifnawoeiawoef)!!! and to the people who i’ve only recently become mutuals with i apologize cause at any second i will probably be like hee honk time to remake. to all of you, mutuals and followers, thank you for dealing with my stupid lame text posts about chan or my crazy ‘content creators deserve better’ campaigns!! thank you for interacting with me through dms, asks, even just liking my posts and being kind to me when i’m down- i really appreciate that. i’ve been using tumblr for a very, very long time, and tbh, i feel like its not until recently that i’ve found a group of people that i feel very comfortable and happy around. you guys are all so talented and funny and warm and friendly, and i’m so thankful for you guys in my life! thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your dash !!! i’m really grateful if you’ve ever enjoyed my content (gifs, gfx, etc.) and i hope i can continue to make your dashes and hearts bright whether it be through content or my stupid dumb (i hope funny) tags! i love you all!

(( if theres a 🖤 next to your name!! i’ve left a little message for you under the cut ;; v ;; !!! i hope you know how much i love and appreciate all of you! (i really didn’t proof read these so like… u know… just…….. i apologize foawinefoiwna) ))

@00hj 🖤, @1095, @19gf, @3rachha, @angelhyunjin​ 🖤, @binnieseason​, @binsungz​ 🖤, @boxerminho​, @changbeanie​, @chimneycloud​, @cosmicskz​ 🖤, @dhalfmoonbydean​, @f1owerlix​ 🖤, @huiracha​, @ilovedowoon​, @jedixuxi​ 🖤, @jinlix​ 🖤, @jisquish​ 🖤, @johfam​ 🖤, @kim-seungmins​ 🖤, @kim-woojins​, @kimwuujin​ 🖤, @kqngyounghyun​ 🖤, @luvknow​, @marriael​, @momowlw​, @mydays​, @noairmv​ 🖤, @naekkung​, @parkjinwoo​, @prodskz​ 🖤, @pouringmv​, @realstraykids​, @seofthours​, @seungminsmile​, @soohao​, @sk-z​ 🖤, @skzbffie​, @skzd​ 🖤, @stray-kids​, @straykisd​, @theminho​ 🖤, @uayv​ 🖤, @ultscb​ 🖤, @wayvgf​ 🖤, @yngbok​

@00hj​: hello karen! wow :( it feels like forever since we’ve been mutual… like i really cannot believe it’s been??? 7/8 months since we first became friends? like it doesn’t even feel that long. i know time flies and we’re at that point in our lives where every day just flashes by but :( even in those moments that do pass by, you’re always there making me smile. through your killer content or your funny jokes or those convos where we’re both just yelling abt how much we HATE group projects… its all fun :( you always make me smile and make me want to work harder. when i see how hard you work??? it just makes me want to work /that/ much harder. from your gfx to your gifs!! you are a pillar in this community and i am so honoured to be pals with u man faionwefoaie !!! to top that off, i feel like i can always ask you anything- any dumb questions i have abt making things, anything that’s just kinda eating at me, i feel like i can talk to you about it. you’re such a comfy place !! a comfy warm person !! and i love you dearly! i hope you get to kick back with jisung and hyunjin and enjoy a slice of pie!!

@angelhyunjin​: hello angi! my darling you work so so so hard! your art is always stellar and always wowing! i know sometimes you worry about posting, but please remember to put your health first;; its hard to think about yourself sometimes, i know, but remind yourself that !! to make smth nice, you need to be well first!!! anyway;; your art never fails to make me smile. like your style is sososo distinct and memorable?? and also?? you’re an amazing dancer!!! your covers are always so lovely and you do such a great job :( i can tell how passionate you are about things through both your art and your dance! thank you for always working hard and being kind to everyone around you! i love you dearly angel! hyunjin is sending his love!

@binsungz​: yooooo whaTS UP HOMIE FIAWNOFANWFO HELLO BABY!! MY WHORE PARTNER!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!! literally what do i even say here that i haven’t already said to you??? you’re one of my closest friends online and you ALWAYS make me laugh. from talking abt nsfw things to cute things to minecraft and gaming!!! you always always get me !!! you just have a knack for understanding me?? and that’s just :( so appreciated!!!! you !!! are !!! amazing dude!!! ur gifs are always so clean; you’re one of the reasons i started working harder to make my gifs better bc you inspired me !! you’re always so kind and warm and loving ; and i can always talk with you abt sucking dicks or eating pussy like IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT !!!!!!!!! i was going through my old blog and i found those videos you did where you looked through my blog and when i heard your voice again and you being like ‘omg ur so funny’ i was ready to scream cause it was still so fuiowenaowieaoe fricking cute :(((( dude I LOVE YOU!!!! like you really are one of the kindest people in the world and i can’t stop !! saying !! how thankful!!! i am for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much britt !! thank you for always dealing with me and being kind to me and just fjaoweifnaow you’re really the best :((( jisung and [redacted] love u but not as much as me ok foaiwneoaiwnfia ……..

@cosmicskz​: hello gumdrop!!! my love!!! thank you so much for always hyping – not just me- but everyone up!! you are sososo kind and so so so SO warm and cute and oawifenawo precious!!! please remember to take care of your health and of yourself too!! loving everyone around u is important but also take care of yourself TT TT !!! your content is also always so cute and thoughtful and you put 110% into everything you do ????? like !!!!!!!!  ma’am????? so talented and pure ;; ___ ;; like i don’t know how you do it but you do !!! also thank you for ALWAYS offering to look @ my work and give me advice etc etc!! i am so appreciative of it ;; also – i know i don’t always reply that often but !!!!!!!!!!!! i love you and i’m thankful that you’re so patient with me when it comes to dms fjaowiefnawoiefn TT TT you’re ! so ! lovely and sweet and i hope you know !! i’m here for you whenever you need !!! skz and i lovelovelove you!

@f1owerlix​: vale……….. vale………………. VALE……………………………. HELLO…………………. ??? i ??? can’t even find the words to tell you what you mean to me. i’d write a poem but its just gonna end up being long and i’d never be able to finish it bc i’d go back and keep adding bits and lines abt how you’re like the NICEST person in humanities history and that you’re just an all-around talented and wonderful person….. like….. are u KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! she did that (that = being the kindest person EVER) you’re always using The Most amount of nicknames possible;; and it makes my heart so so so soft. not only that, but you’re also such a kind, genuine, warm person. i don’t know anyone who is as kind, and humble, and talented, and warm like you. i literally could list a billion wonderful things about you because you’re that frucaowienoawikingiawgo amazing…. dude like seriously…. we out here STANNING miss vale….. i was going through my blog a while ago and i saw this tag that was like ‘i got my vale fansite set up and we’re going to start making slogans and planning birthday events’ like past li had it right. you’re so kind and funny and warm and i always feel safe and comfy talking to you. i really appreciate the feedback you give me- because its always so thought out and GENUINE. like… you do this for EVERYONE… all the tags i read from you are so KIND and you always make ccs feel like they’re doing the best job ever…. like you really……. you really are an angel on this ea.rth…. huh….. also…? changbin is dropping by with flowers for you!!!!

@jedixuxi​: hello angel;; i hope you’re doing well!!! thank you for dealing with my blog change and staying mutuals with me regardless of content differing! thank you for always being kind and being patient with me- i know i don’t reply a lot but ;; you are a really good friend to me and i am so so so thankful;; you’re so sweet and warm and such a talented artist;; like everything you draw im always like fjawifeawoej :0000 !!!!! you really have so much love and warmth inside of you and !!! that’s why ur so tall ma’am.. foawiefnoaweifno :’( aaaa thank you so much beth for always being so warm to others; your brightness is like the sun on my dash and in my dms and you always make me smile or laugh its just ;; aofwienaiwneoi I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and xuxi is also mailing his entire heart your way ok !!!

@jinlix​: hello madam ! hello to my lov e !!! my sweet lil gum drop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hello KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh hi bb :( thank you for everything you do; firstly, your gfx?? so incredible ok?? like i know your style immediately when i see it yet you always manage to surprise me?? like your work is so fucking GOOD. how does she do it :// like us plebeians will never kno and that’s how it fuckin be ig afoiwneoaiwnfeoawi ….. omg…. ok…. and like secondly??? youre always so humble and kind to other ppl??? like your tags on anyones work is always so so so so kind TT TT you always say the nicest things- and i still remember the tags you left on one of my very first skz gfxs … like you really made my heart flutter like that huh….. hm…. guess you’re an angel or smth like… that…. gmgamoweigna TT __ TT Kelly seriously you’re such a sweet heart? you love with all your heart and its so warm and soft and whenever you talk abt hyunjin im like jfjfaiweIFAIWo …. my heart !!!!!!!!!!! like he would totally be floored by your love bc of how soft u fuckin are oh ymgmymmym go d !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway :( i love u so much and hope you’re well angel!! hyunjin is sending all his love your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@jisquish​: ok here we go … ma’am… MA’AM… how do i even EXPLAIN the love i feel for u.. oh my gosh.. miss india.. you really exist like that.. like we STAN a whole ass legend huh… not only are you funny and smart and talented and kind and amazing?? you’re also just like.. the coolest bestest person in the world? like i still find it hard to believe you were one of my anons bc like… u just.. u r too … ://// cool… like i’m really just sitting here like… an idiot… from day 1 you’ve always been so fucking kind to me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have just :( been so sweet and kind and just an all-around angel- and even if we only talk every now and then, i always feel so warm and happy whenever we do!! u know those ppl u don’t have to talk to 24/7 to know that there’s still a warm friendly hug waiting for you??? :(( yea you’re one of those people. you always always ALWAYS make me laugh like hfawoifenoawie :( hello how do u do this?? yet you also are so grounded and warm and understanding and like.. i can’t believe you’re also one of the most talented humans ever;; whenever i see your covers, i’m always like !!! wowowowo !!! you inspire me to work harder with my music and writing ;; you are such an angel :-( and i am so thankful for you! so so so so thankful!!! jeongin and changbin and jisung are sending all their love !!! and so am i bb !!!

@johfam​: if anyone deserves a thank you- it is you. miss nita… jejejsigaweg i feel like i’m gonna cry typing this so here we go…. you’ve been friends with me for more than a year now i believe :( i think we’ve actually hit our year since we became friends which is so wild to me?? you’ve been with me through SO MANY THINGS… like you’ve been my soundboard for so many things in my life.. i can’t believe we started talking bc a spider landed on your hand… and u stabbed ur own hand with a pencil.. like ig we have to thank that spider….. ghanwegoiawen….. you’ve really stuck with me through blog changes and through me being angry abt things and you’ve allowed me to be angry- which i appreciate so much.. you know me so well :// like… idk how you do it but you always make me feel safe and warm and like i can say anything to you and you’ll hear me out?? like oaiwnefaiwenof :( you just !! you’ve supported me so much through so many bad days and i can’t thank you enough. you are made of sunshine and stardust and your heart is literally the softest and warmest. thank you !!! for !!! always enjoying frogs with me and sending me cute frog things.. like.. :( it makes me SO happy that we can enjoy those lil squishy fuckers together.. also thank u for being my source of johnny content jfjawfieawio i’ve literally unfollowed every other nct blog and you’re one of the only ones left bc i still love johnny so much and seeing him on my dash- esp with your tags- makes me so so so happy;; thank you for everything you’ve done for me and !!! and for all the love you’ve given me :( and just for being there for me through some of the toughest places in my life;; i really love and appreciate you!!!!!!!!! johnny is sending his love and some kisses through the mail :’(

@kim-seungmins​: hfhawefaniow…………… hello dumm..y… :( u r the loml.. you’ve been there for me through so much shit in the short amt of the time we’ve been friends.. u were also one of my first friends in this fandom- and i’m so thankful you were bc we got really close during these last few months and it makes me so happy. you’re so funny and you always make me laugh!!! you give me so much confidence and happiness and you make me feel so warm and happy ;; !!!!!! you are a fajfowienawei whole ass angel who is always working hard both to make good content and in school. :( i’m so proud of you for all that you do dude like wowowwowo :( look @ you go ????? you’re also one of the funniest pals i have like u literally make me bust a LUNG laughing … like whenever i get any of my biases together in one screen i now literally think, without even pause, “abia voice: crumbs” likej faweiojaowefoi you’re such an icon!!!!!!!!! also?? like … you’ve just been s o kind to me and helped me with things that i’ve not talked to others with bc you never make me feel like i’ll be judged… like.. you’re so fucking understanding and warm and kind and considerate with how you reply; you always care and you’re just… :( u r angel or smth like that… i know i tease you and that’s kinda how i show my love but for real dude………………. i love u so much.. like if i could give you the whole world i really fucking would.. :( because you deserve nothing less!! thank u for always providing that good good seungmin content ;; seungmin and minho and woojin all told me to tell you that they love you!!!

@kimwuujin​: hello sugar drop!! thank you for being so kind and warm and always just !!! being so sweet :( you always tag me in funny/cute content and it’s always appreciated !!! i feel like i can always be dumb and say stupid soft things abt chan with you bc you’ll understand how i feel :((( you’re so sweet and i’m so glad we started talking more !! you’re not only like faoiwenfaowi incredibly cute and sweet but you’re also so so so so funny !!! :( like you make me laugh and aofwinewaoinoi i really appreciate that!! you’re also so grounded and understanding and !! you always know what to say and i’m really appreciative of the fact that you phrase things so well and eloquently- when will my dumbass ever- anyway fhawjeofaowein i love you with all my heart and hope you’re !! doing well sweetpea !!! chan and are yeeting every ounce of love we have for you to you!!!!!!!!!!!

@kqngyounghyun​: hello my love :( i can’t even remember the first time we talked bc it feels like its been so so so long; and through all of this time you’ve been one of my close friends who’s stuck around with me through so much. you’re always there, and always kind, and just always warm and friendly and a safe place to go. i love that we can bitch abt things with each other but also oiawenfowaie be super soft… but then also talk abt super nsfw things jfawieaoeif aofiwneoai you’ve always been so so kind to me and i really do appreciate it. thank you for sticking with me through all my blog changes and for always supporting me and my dumbassery;; i really hope you know how much i appreciate you and how much i love you! you’re such a hardworking person- like whenever you tell me abt the effort you’re putting in at school its just oifnawiefnaoi wowowow!!! you’re so amazing :(( !!!!! also, you were there for me during one of the Hardest Points In My Life- like a time when i really thought i was going to ofaiwneoiawen lose my mind bc of how much i was struggling……. but you seriously helped me get through that part of my life and i can never fully explain to you how thankful i am. but i love you so much and i’m so thankful. younghyun and i both love you to the ends of the earth ;; __ ;; !!!

@noairmv​: hello ! ! ! miss ai!! the loml!!! angel!! bb gumdrop!! jacob’s baby!!! all names we can use to refer to you!!! :( hello baby!! thankyou! for everything! for all you do! for all you are! you are always honest with me, always genuine, always kind and understanding. you do more than i could ever fucking ask for. i’ve told this to you before but, i think you’re the one person i can go to- without fail- for like.. real life advice… like things that i feel like i cannot ask anyone else, i can ask you. i remember when i was struggling financially i immediately went to you first to talk things through. you give me a lot of clarity and you help me understand my own thoughts and talking to you always puts things into perspective for me. you’re also always there to rant abt nsfw things with which is foaiwnefoaiwn so fun afnowienfao afjfaowefiao but also i get to be super soft with you which is also really :~( the best oof……… i love u so much…….. like, thank you for always looking @ my gfxs, and for always being supportive and understanding and giving me genuine advice. i love listening to you talk abt Jacob (and being rawed by others who are not … Jacob………… ahem………) aofiwnefoaiwno thank you for always being patient with me and for being so kind (and for always faowineoawi saying yes when i propOSE FAOIWNOAIWF ;;) you’re an angel (hee honk) from above and i will always be thankful for you in my life angel bean :( thank you so much for everything ai, i love you SO fucking much… jacob also loves u – he told me to tell u that !!!

@prodskz​: hello my love! ! ! ! i think i told you this once but!! my favourite kinds of relationships are those ones that have a good roast/love ratio!!! and i deeply feel that ours is that kinda relationship!!! no matter how many times we destroy each other aoiwnafienaiowe we’re always like ‘uwu anyway u r my baby’ 2 seconds later and foawinefoiane i love that!!! i love that you will send me 20 messages in a day and i’ll be like yoiNk i forgot but also let me reply to everything at once !! i love that you send me SO many skz memes throughout the day- they make me laugh so hard;; and also you always send me The Best Chan Pics so thank you for that fiawfenfoawienoiwe TT TT you’ve been so kind to me and so so so supportive of all my work ;; whether my gifs or my gfx or just my stupid posts- you are so supportive neha i :( i don’t even deserve the amt of love you give me but fjawoefawoe i ACCEPT ALL OF IT !!!!!!!!!! i’m such a dummy but please know that i love you WITH ALL MY FUCKIN HEART BABY!!!! you are so precious and talented and kind and funny and you are amazing !! like i mean it :( do not !! forget for a second how wonderful you are baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hyunjin would like to also remind you that he loves you to the moon and back (but i love u more ok)

@sk-z​: hi sweet pea !!! :’) i know we only started talking very recently but i already feel so close to you! i just wanted to say thank you for being there for me that night aofinweoianfew and thank you for always being a voice of reason; you’re so understanding and warm and !!! i really am floored but how kind you are!! i know i always say sorry and that’s ifonaweifnaio really just how i am but !! you really make me comfy and it feels easy to just say anything around you and not feel stressed out or judged?? like even things that i blame myself for, you help me see reason and feel better and i just :( i can’t thank you enough for that;; you’re so bright and warm and i really hope we get to continue talking for a long time angel!! i love you!!!

@skzd​: hi haleigh !! i know we haven’t talked in a while but you’re still one of my fav content creators!! even from back when i was an nctzen and we interacted there, to now over on these blogs!!! you’ve stayed such a constant in my life :( and you’ve honestly been nothing but supportive of me :( you’re always so kind whenever we do talk and you’re still one of the funniest people i know;; your tags will never fail to make me laugh;; i really appreciate your presence on my dash and i really want you to know all your content is so beautiful and appreciated;; :( you’re so talented my dude and i love you long time;; i really hope you’re doing well and taking care bc i do love you from the bottom of my heart angel!!! hyunjin is sending his love (and so am i !)

@theminho​: min my little gumdrop!! my sweet sugar bean!! my lil soft angel!!!!!!! hi angel!! :( darn i think you’re one of the ppl i’ve been following longest and oof… OOF.. like :( !! i’m so glad we started talking!! you always make me smile! you are so warm and thoughtful with your words. i’m not sure i know anyone who is as eloquent or as understanding as you. you just.. you really phrase things well. whenever we talk i !! i feel so grounded and like i know oafiwenoaw what you’re saying!! and you’re always so sweet and funny and expressive with what you say :( dude you’re just amazing ok!! and your gifs are always so so so beautiful like… omg…. WOW…. an angel huh TT TT ;; whenever i see your gifs or your tags i’m always so soft!! i’m so proud of you for working hard at school, and though i miss you!! i hope you’re spending your time resting when you get a chance and that school isn’t kicking your butt too much my love!!! i am so proud of you TT TT and i’m sending all my ‘fightings!!!’ and strength your way angel bean!!!! minho is also sending his love and energy!!!

@uayv​: hi darling!!! miss joyce! miss gfx queen! oh my goodness;; first of all- thank you for the BOMB ass content dude… your gfx… wowowowwo..w… secondly, thank you for sticking with me through a drastic blog change;; faoiwenfoaw i’m so glad that we’re still pals bc you’re one of those people that makes me laugh so hard from just your tags alone- and in dms i usually can’t stop smiling/laughing;; aoiwenfoiawenwa !!!!!! listen to me !!!!! the first time i found your blog was bc u rb’d one of my gfxs and left some of the nicest tags ever and i saw you had ‘gfx’ tagged in your bio so when i scrolled through your gfx and i was eMBARRASSED BC LIKE………… DUDE HOLY SHIT THIS PERSON HAD SOME OF THE BEST WORK I’D E V E R SEEN. i still think you are one of the MOST TALENTED GFX MAKERS EVER. you have so much of my respect and love and i wish i could aowiefnoawiefn give you … the whole world dude… awenfiawfeowia TT TT you are so kind to me whenever i ask for a second opinion on my gfx and you’re always so warm and funny- and your love for bread is so good- like i’m telling you whenever i see bread posts that aren’t from you i IMMEDIATELY either tag you or send them to you fawienoawien ;; you’re such a warm positive influence on my dash and in my life and i really love you from the bottom of my heart. i’m so thankful we’re pals bc you are a true angel and a true pal and just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAA I LOVE U SO MUCH JOYCE OIANWFOIAWN TT TT (doyoung loves you loads too okay; he is sending big fat kisses ur way!)

@ultscb​: hi taryn!!! miss gif queen;; faoiwenfaown holy moly; you are such a talented person- but not only are you amazing at giffing ?? you’re also just ??? an amazing warm funny kind beautiful person??? like afnoiwnefowaienof hello?? you’re somehow always making me smile; whenever we talk or through your tags?? you’re just !! so !! lovely and fantastic and i!!!! really do love you!!! you’ve been so kind and warm to me and made me smile so much even if we don’t talk that often;; you always give me such kind feedback when you look at my work and it really foanwifeanwoe blows my ego into another dimension fanoweinaowienfao i love you so much angel!!! i hope you know that you’re an amazing and talented and funny and wonderful person! changbin is sending kisses !! (and so am i!!)

@wayvgf​: hi mara baby!!!!! :0 you are such a bright personality, whenever you’re excited ofiawneofai you’ll make like fawoniewi a bunch of posts back to back with 0 context and idk why that makes me laugh and feel so warm and happy- but the thought that someone who is so warm and bright exists really makes me so happy!!! you are literally the funniest and cutest person i’ve ever !! met !! you are so kind and warm and funny and idk man :(( you’ve just been very kind to me and listened to me rant abt some very dumb stuff faoiwnefoaiwne TT TT thank you for always dealing with that side of me, and for being so kind to me;; i know i always say this but : your nose is… really… afwioenaofiawoifwa the pinnacle of noses ok. u r s o cute :( and whenever i’m like “I LOVE MARA DOT ORG” i mean it !!! i love you SO much!!!!!!!!!!! you are such a fantastic, funny, hard working person and i love you SO much bb !!!!! hyunjin also loves u but :/  i love u mos t.

#li.ff #OIFANFOINAWOFIAW OK SO I POSTED THIS AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT #IM SO SORRy #ANYWAYFOIANWFOINAWFI #I APOLOGIZE IFONAWOIFNAIW #AHHFAJWFAIW #im so dumb lf amfaomiawe fawienfaw #deceased into another realm ok #NOW i can go crawl under a rock and be dumb by myself jwejfiawoefinaw #AND IM SO EMBARRASSED RN FAJWFJOAWIFJ #i wish i could've written a message to everyone but this is just already such a long mess #oafinweoianwoiawei TT TT but please know i love all of u so much and s o dearly ;; #aahhfoaiwefnoawei TT TT

[golgoterror]

Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake. 

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet. 

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again. 

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself. 

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat. 

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat. 

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again. 

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to. 

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. 

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid. 

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really. 

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all. 

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

#ooc. #headcanons. #about. #ableism tw #and i hate to do this but after the speech impediment post i must: #dont steal these headcanons. #(unless youre a jake rper then by all means thats fine!) #yes these arent exclusive to jake but this took a lot of time and effort #id appreciate it if youd all respect that #tia! <3

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 1)

One world ! 24 other players ! I 

I'm too old to be here but... it's happening! I made it on Tumblr Survivor mom! Determined to not be first boot!

Also I'm aligning with Jordan Pines because I love chaos and these newbies won't know what hit them

Well this is certainly something. I'm going to try out seeing who pms me without me saying anything. I'll pick up the activity tomorrow, so it doesn't really affect me, let's see if anyone takes the initiative so I don't have to. If I get dragged into a majority alliance then that's cool. I don't think that this group is great in terms of teamwork as of yet, but we'll see. There's so many tribes our chances of going to tribal are pretty slim, even if we suck. We're kindof underdogs, so sucking might not be excusable. 

First day of surviving the Survivor survivorship...survivor. These forms are going to take some time to get used to, but I'll manage. Got conversations from Beck and Sammy so far - might scope the field, see what's out there. Or, I can lay low and do what I need to do for my team until merge hits. 

i actually really like the people on my tribe and i'm excited because i have hopes for us. i've also made some nice friends so far and i'm hoping that pays off later but even if it doesn't i'm glad my first day in a skype survivor org has been positive! woo!

Fuck this complicated ass first challenge 

Hello! Guess whose back? It me! Anyway, it’s been a fun first night. Things are going okay. I am worried a little bit about the One World mess, I don’t want to come off too social right now but at the same time I need to secure a good place. So here is the breakdown analysis of my tribe: Chris Stoner: hello ???? I didn’t know they let stoners into the Olympics, didn’t we drug test? I haven’t spoken to him much but we did play Crossroads together although not really together. Anyway, fun to see him. Don’t know if I’d work with him but I guess that’s to be determined. Karen: KARENNNNN! I wasn’t expecting to see them here but now that it’s happening I am very glad to have someone who I have worked with before around, and a solid foundation of working together. Right away I felt like I had someone who had my back and I hope I’m not misreading that, because Karen and I always seem to work together until a certain point. Hopefully we can work together longer than usual this time! Kevin: uhhh soooooo love Kevin but we don’t have the best track record? He was in Circle with me we had a little fight where I may have called him a racist for being mad at Asya anyway it SEEMS as though that’s not an issue anymore and I think we might be able to work something out. I don’t wanna have to vote Kevin out before Stoner or Tommy. Tommy: ok no offense to this man but he is so hard to talk to so far. Every conversation feels flat and even though we are talking about subjects I could go on about for a while, it feels like the convos are going nowhere. I feel like there’s a sort of slight bond between Karen, Kevin and I but then Tommy and Stoner are kind of...hopefully who they’d want to kill off first, I’m probably wildly misreading every situation rn. Outside of my tribe I’ve talked to Juls who I am going to take under my wing as my daughter and she will win this season if I don’t get to! I love her so much she reminds me of my old school Skype babies and I feel like a cool mom when I talk to her I’ve also talked to beck briefly, KING love him bc he’s dating Asya and I don’t necessarily want to bond based on that. I also know beck is a good as game player bc I’ve watched him play so......I’m gonna be nice and observant and maybe we can establish a threat/threat symbiotic relationship. I also talked to Jacob C. who I love so much and he and I have been comparing some notes. He’s already told me Sammy has an idol that he can only use for three rounds so heh heh heh. OH SPEAKING OF SAMMY I love that man he’s such a doll and I really hope we can work together if I get far. At this point I love this cast but I really feel like I am not gonna vibe with the newbies, they’re like very....quiet in the PM’s but loud in the one world chat? I find that backwards. I’m hoping the newbies I do like will be able to  get rid of the newbies I don’t like so that when we merge the newbies I do like will help me get rid of the returnees I don’t wanna work with. That’s what we are manifesting, 2020 vision yeehaw. 

Showmance, eh? I might play dumb, surprise them all later? I could play the role of disposable pawn while possibly orchestrating things behind the shadows. Could be a long, long shot, but it could work. 

AAAAHHHHH IM HERE HI MOM IM ON TV IM SO EXCITED AND I CANT WAIT FOR EVERYTHING IM ALSO SCARED AS FUCK CUS EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THESE THINGS WORK AND I DONT 

omg okay this is all so crazy i love it i can’t stop shaking AAAAHHH dhdkshHSJDHEVSJbokayOKAY so like i LOOOVE my tribe we’re the fuckin best tribe here cus we’re all so cool like we’re the FRIENDSHIP tribe and being able to make friends is a useful skill in this game like no offense but being the “dominant” tribe or “champions” tribe or whatever tbh it’s pretty unskinny bc that’s a target on you forever whereas my tribe we’re all friendly and trusting!! 💖💞 xoxo lets hold hands all the way to finale and have fun! 🌈✨

okay i forgot to talk about strategy lol anyways yeah I looOOOVve everyone on my tribe and that’s great but also sucks because there’s only 5 of us, it just takes 3 votes to send you out so I wish there was some oblivious cocky dick on our tribe we all could hate so we’d have an easy first vote like that guy Billy.. why is he on the respect tribe¿? anyways i love everyone but I think Will and I are becoming the closest we talked for a lil while last night yknow things got a little steamy 🥰😩 (you’ll have to pay for ts all access for that footage 😘) we bonded really well and I think for this first vote if we lose, Will and I are definitely gonna be voting together.

Alright, so here we are at the 2020 Olympics.   I came in as a last minute replacement, so I feel like I have to prove myself more than some others who applied weeks before hand and made the cut.   As well, got some past players, and past winners, which makes the competition stakes that much greater this season.   Then, to top it all off, at the One World style camp, so can talk to everyone which is definitely a nice touch.   Now, regards to my tribe, I honestly like the people on my tribe, and find that we're going to be a solid crew.   Here is my actual impressions on my tribe mates thus far though: Beck - Probably one I recognize most, just due to being in a discord org vl with her, definitely seems like a friendly gal, and when time is right, I feel she could end up being my closest ally on the tribe Ben - Probably one so far who I have talked the most too, and I feel like we're connecting alright thus far, so going to keep building up a bond with him and his route could end up being as my first ally of these Olympics. Kathy - Haven't spoken one on one with her yet, just in the tribe chat somewhat and main chat, which she definitely seems like a cool person, and hoping to get to know her a bit better, but terms of this game, hard to say if we'll be on same side or not. Bailey - Speaking with her a little, but kind of same lines as Kathy currently with her, just not sure if Bailey will end up being an ally who will be with me, or someone who will be against me. Overall, time will tell how this game goes, but hopefully it goes well for me and I come out with at least something worth while.

HOLY SHIT I FOUND AN ADVANTAGE OH MY GOD!!!!! I GOT AN ADVANTAGE ON DAY FUCKIN TWO OF MY FIRST SURVIVOR EVERR HOLY SHIT!!!! okay so it says i can get an extra vote IF at the next tribal i decide to NOT vote and save that vote for later so i’d have an extra vote. Now the hard part is making my first tribal an easy vote so i can save my own.. hopefully i’ll be able to do this! i’m so scared ohmygod

okay i’m in a serious predicament... so I may not vote at the next tribal meaning there’s only 4 votes. While looking at the cast reveal i discovered something.. Nik is a drag queen, Eve also does drag as well... what if they applied together from some drag community or are bonding because of that. That’s 2 votes together already on a tribe of five.. that’s dangerous especially when I’m not allied with either of them! If they vote together and i don’t vote... they’d have half the votes already and may get rid of my ally Will! I’m hoping to god they don’t know each other but if they are aligned then Will or I could be out! I want this advantage but i don’t know if i can take it.... fuuUUUUCK

I’m really enjoying my tribe and I think that the people in this game are super awesome! However with that being said, I can definitely see who could potentially be an issue down the line and I’m keeping my eyes peeled for them!

whoa. this game is a lot. I managed to message everyone on day one because I just rely on my social abilities. I tried to be as relatable as possible to everyone but literally some people were dead fish. Some newbies have asked me for advice already and they said returners are intimidating so I said "I mean only the returners that won" hahah and they were like "oh yeah so true" sorry I threw y'all under the bus. But ummm kathy is playing and we are from the same hometown so I am hoping we end up on same tribe sometime soon. I love juls too!! OH AND JACOB IS MY RIDE OR DIE. we had a tribe call and I was so uncomfortable because I felt like I had nothing to add to the conversation. my fav 2 on my tribe are Jacob and Caeleb tho! umm okay last thing I searched for the idol....AND BIH ON DA FIRST TRY I GOT ONE BLSFSI only good for next three tribals I attend tho. I told Jacob. it was in a yellow condom. okay sorry this was very choppy I just wanted to get it all out.

This tribe seems to be working fine together, while I'm still terrified of losing, I think we stand a fighting shot. This cool little band of misfits would be a cool sight. I've kept my quiet for the first day, time to ramp things up just a tad. I've talked to Landen and I feel pretty alright about him, and given this tribe is as small as my will to life after playing QWOP, we only need one more! Landen's probably talking to everyone, so I just need to seal the deal with him. I think my challenge performance will suffice for being enough to keep me around, but I need a bit of a backup just in case. If we go to tribal, there's not a "stay UTR" option. It's either I'm in an alliance and I'm calling some shots, or I'm being (in)directly blindsided. But, I picked my strong suit in flash games for a reason fellas. The one world chat has quite a bit of activity. I'm quite and that's fine, if we swap I can readjust. If we go to tribal I'm sure I'll become just a tad more popular along with the other 9 that go. tldr:I'm winning duh

Ayo, tribe energy looking DOPE AS HELL BAY BAY! We all seem to be getting along pretty well, seeing as our communication during this challenge is pretty dope! No bad personalities in sight. I gotta wonder though, how nervous do I have to be? I know for a damn fact if I start talking more to these people they gon' be fallin' as hard as underage kids seeing the hottest girl in school enter their club. Thing is though, I'm fresh meat coming into this, so any pre existing relationships in this game are like dust mites to me. Can't see em' but GOD DAMN they annoy me. Nonetheless, I gotta work my magic in case we go to Tribal. I ain't letting anybody take out a rookie, especially a rookie who has somethin' to prove, and someone who at his best is the damn king of the world. See me work bay bay!

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

[blookmallow]

so i met the prince of madness, discovered some Weird Shit, and made another character despite never using the second one i already made 

---

i was minding my own business walking down an abandoned corridor and suddenly im in this mad tea party in the middle of some spooky woods

OH !!! FUCK

what a LOOK

i had to help a guy dealing with his tiny, tiny personification of courage getting beat up by Self Doubt and Anger i could NOT make this up if i tried 

sheogorath also gave me these clothes apparently bc i had them for some reason. this is incredibly silly 

SO I WENT ON A MISSION WITH FARKAS AND UH

APPARENTLY MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WEREWOLVES ALL ALONG. THE MORE YOU FUCKIN KNOW

i legit did not see this coming at ALL but im a lil annoyed that i got tricked into joining the werewolves but seem to not be allowed to join vampires (i know if you get attacked by a vampire you have a chance of catching vampirism from them but like. vampires are mostly just Enemies like bandits or w/e) 

farkas says the. silver hand or whatever they’re called are “bad people who don’t like werewolves” but arent they doing the same thing the dawnguard are doing. i dont understand the werewolf/vampire lore in this at all like

vampires are mostly just enemies, there’s a league dedicated to hunting them who seem to be mostly considered heroes, the guards mention these hunters positively, they recruit openly in whiterun

vampires seem to be pretty universally hated and considered evil

but the companions, a pretty highly respected guild, are all werewolves (it’s probably not totally common knowledge, but they are, ) the werewolf hunters are depicted as the bad guys, every werewolf ive met so far has been a friendly npc / at least someone you can hold a conversation with, while every vampire has been just an Enemy

the companions seem to be able to control their werewolf powers and transform at will rather than randomly, but the guy in falkreath cant control it and murdered a child/is outcast by society 

so i guess “its ok to be a werewolf If you can control it” seems to be the verdict here but then i havent seen anyone claiming its ok to be a vampire if you can control it?? i dont know skyrim’s vampire rules but usually they’re able to survive on animal blood or by like, consensual feeding that doesnt take enough to kill the host. werewolves and vampires both can’t necessarily help what they are but it seems like way more of a choice to become a werewolf. i guess vampires Have to drink blood and werewolves dont Have to hurt people but they cant. help that 

idk theres some weird double standards going on here and as a person who loves vampires and doesnt care for werewolves im just :/ 

farkas might also be in love with me now 

(ive read you Can marry him but he hasnt noticed my amulet of mara despite. saying shit like That :’) im not rly interested in him tho. i like him but i dont Like him like him. hes maybe second on the list of ‘If I Had To Pick A Dude’) 

i found two of the same guy out in the wilderness

like. its hard to see here but it was, im pretty sure, the same model, twice. the same voice. the same lines. it was very strange :’) im guessing theres probably a pool of random hunters/travelers/bandits/whatever you can run into that just sort of get generated into the world and. something went wrong 

i dont remember what we were talking about but i suggested Why Not Simply Eat The Soul Gem and she was delighted by my innovative ideas. im on a quest to retrieve a spoon for her that she somehow lost halfway across the country. i love her

i just figured out who she reminds me of she is absolutely tannis,

then i also made another character despite the fact that i already never use my khajiit but shh

this is amaranth shes horrible and shes on a mission to Wreck Everyone’s Shit 

she has very faint swirl tattoos on her face and i wish id made them brighter, i liked the subtleness of it but you effectively just cant see it ever 

not that it Really matters so much what my characters look like since u cant see them 90% of the time but Listen

i can fix it when i get her to riften i guess though

anyways she wants to be a powerful mage, has No morals, wants to kill every last imperial for what they (almost) did to her, but doesnt really support the stormcloaks either, just supports Herself and Chaos 

shes not trying to just Murder Literally Everyone In Her Path but like. is basically looking for Any excuse to kill someone. doesnt want either side to win. just wants to watch the world burn. probably going to join and betray Both sides

i dont remember why i murdered a guard (i remember it was in belethor’s shop so i probably tried to steal something and failed) but anyway, i murdered a guard, and can just like. walk around town wearing the clothes i stole off his corpse and nobody minds 

they minded very much that i killed him lmao but i gave up trying to fight the guards bc more kept coming so i just took the jail time and now im forgiven, I Guess, 

seems like owning a full set of guard armor, which includes a helmet that obscures your face completely, would be a great way to disguise yourself to do crimes but i dont seem to be recognized as a guard wearing this/people still know who you are somehow 

im not sure how much awareness npcs have of what you’re wearing like i get comments about my stuff sometimes (’lightly armored means light on your feet! smart!’ ‘favor the bow, eh? im a sword man myself’) but then no one seems to care if im walking around wearing vampire armor and a weird cultist mask, so

#lucy plays skyrim #scooby dooby queue

[mayadile]

I don't know if I'm bothering you with this ask but has King Dice ever felt inner conflict at having an actual relationship for once in his life? Not that he regrets it, he's just never thought that it was possible? When he first started dating Connie, I mean, the absolute angel.......(I'm a hardcore Snake Eyes shipper but your art and ideas are so amazing......I was actually first introduced to the LGBTQ+ community by looking through your blog and I'm really thankful for it )

I DID WRITE A WHOLE BIG THING ABOUT THIS IN MY GOOGLE DOCS HOW EVERYTHING GOES AND HAPPENS WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!! welp this is going to be long so lets pop in A READ MORE!!!

Ok so lemme give you some headcanons of mine HAHA so yes as you can see King Dice! He’s a big shot right? He can smooth talk his way to getting anything, it’s a talent of his! He attracts all sorts of people with his presence and he knows it! Working in the casino for years and years ( And stuff with King Dice’s backstory but that’s later but if you wanna know I can gladly write that for you too later! ) and being partners with the Devil himself, got a reason for it, being the right hand man, man got a rotten soul! Greedy,Egotistic,Nartisstic, etc ( I MEAN LISTEN TO HIS SONG! He basically thinks so highly of himself come on, even when working with the Devil he thinks noone can mess with him! ) Dice likes money and by god does he love making people’s life the worse! mostly playing around with toons he thinks deserve it...like you know he has so much charisma, he can talk anyone into anything, he has that face, smile, dapper look,HE’S GOOD LOOKING AS HELL!! he got an aura that draws you to him. Hard to see right through him but if you do, you’ll see some dark aura around the guy. He’s a nasty nasty man! manipulative and a snake HAHA everyone in inkwell knows him for that, pretty sure everyone in inkwell hates him.He’s very dedicated and devoted to his work, that was the deal, be here in the flames and rot, why not have some fun and pull in some suckers, that’s one thing him and the devil bond over and get along with, they love making deals and ruining lives. He can talk a drunk patron into playing a game and selling their soul, he can flirt his way into your heart and take your soul, he can be so friendly, start something with you and just break your spirit and take that damn soul of yours and act as if he had nothing to do with it and left you there speechless and does it give him pleasure to see the lights leave your eyes when you figure out when you notice you just fucked up your life into giving your soul to the big cheese! Hilarious! what a sucker! you really think you had a chance? you really think everything was going good for you here? Welcome to hell pal! Now that you see the negatives of King Dice, back to your question, yes it was confusing for him to ever have genuine feelings for someone, most of the time he plays around ya know? He can do whatever he’s the manager. I mean I’m pretty sure he had relationships before he got his soul taken from the devil! But guess all things were lose and consumed while working in the Casino, guess he didn’t have the need for it or thought it is necessary??? The only relationship he had all those years stuck in here was his partnership/friendship with the devil, don’t know if you can say it is a good friendship, but they are business partners??? same with his lackeys too! King Dice again thinks he’s a real catch, he knows toons fall for him and he likes the attention! But him attracted to someone he finds alluring as himself?? He can’t keep his eyes off? interested? curious? THAT’S A REAL RECORD SCRATCH, it confuses the absolute hell out of him.Like imagine being someone whos...King Dice and suddenly you start developing feelings? scary isn’t it? Chest starts to get heavy, your nasty nature turns into putty and you have birds singing, you want to see this person and hear their voice, you get tongue tied?? Something you never do? Mr.Big Bad Big Shot, Everyone adores me and hates me and this one person makes you weak to the knees!! an employee of yours? It’s terrifying for him and absolutely crazy, he doesn’t need this, he thinks he is better than that, love? HAHA WHO NEEDS THAT RIGHT? I’M THE GAMEST IN THE LAND WHO NEEDS THAT STUFF WHEN I HAVE ALL OF THIS AND-- Oh look Connie!Does he regret it? Nah, he actually likes it, it’s nice to feel something good! make that dark void in his chest sing and dance. His feelings towards Connie developed deep down since he did try to hide and deny it but coming from a guy who is actually a secret hopeless romantic it’s hard~ uhhh ok Dice’s first impression of Connie wasn’t good and mostly he thought that they were like every other magician, they do a image for themself but they’re actually nasty like why else would Connie come and also accept a job at the casino? He knows Connie isn’t a complete angel ( They were given a job at the casino for a reason and that reason is because the devil sees something in Connie he admires and so he lend them a hand and gave them the job here, Connie isn’t the ANGEL you all think they are, they’re actually awful lol but they repress feelings!  ) but getting to know them further ( if you wanna know how feelings develop Ill give you that too and when connie came to the casino! ) But! Connie has that something, that really attracts King Dice, they’re like light, lighting up the room with their booming voice and enthusiastic personality, makes the casino more alive and tolerable. Another small headcanon, of course I base King Dice very much of Cab Calloway, so he isn’t always a nasty dude ( i mean he is ) but he has that feel of always dancing about and singing~ Back then in his better life Dice had a band and wow does he miss it..( Locks all of his past memories in a box hidden in his office ).. Being around Connie makes him want to dance and sing ( which he does ) sometimes together he will tune his radio and play some songs and sing, Connie would join and dance along side with him, brings back memories and it’s a good thing since Dice hasn’t had a dance partner in YEARS and mostly someone who can catch up with his rhythm and be in sync and have the same energy. So yeah he never ever thought he would make it this far and have an actual loving relationship with someone, I mean Connie and Dice are both broken toons and both aren’t perfect and have some conflict but they do have such good chemistry and love one another to make it whole! ( Wow that was cheesy but these two can be cheesy :\ ) Again apologizes for my rambling and run off sentences .... remind you that this is one of my ever first oc/canon I was ever invested in and seeing people like it really make me happy since Im a nervous lad....There is alot to their story and again I will say, they are a slow burn, feelings slowly develop and mostly fully happen after the casino went to shit, but not saying they don’t mildly flirt before then ;o; just conflicted feelings all around...uh..im not a romantic writer guys but I can say I do love the effort I put in these two so if you want more info just tell me and I’ll do the best I can? THANK YOU!

#Connie O'Clock #a huge ass wall of text im sorry #im like blushing writing stuff like this makes me flustered ok LOL #some TimeToDie nonense here #aimasup

[pinkletterday]

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.

#this started out so good #why did they do this #fuck westallen #my heart is breaking for nora #fuck this whole damn show #the flash #5x4 #liveblog