#oh ok. I’ll die /pos

[majorproblems77]

I can't see anywhere where this has been shared with anyone else? But I read too much unresolved angst and just wanted Sky to get Dad hugs from Time.

“Please, Sir. I’ll keep up, or you can leave me behind. Just go back to your boys.” Sky yanked himself out of Time’s grip and wrapped his arms around himself.  “Please.” His voice threatened to break and he looked away. Why wouldn’t the eldest just go?

“Sky..." Time caught his arm. No, not in front of Time. Not when he was holding on to everything by a thread. “I am with one of my boys. What’s wrong?” And the kindness in Time’s voice was the final straw. 

“I haven’t slept more than a half watch in two weeks.” He admitted. “I’m exhausted and Surface Sick but--” here he stopped as his voice choked. “I just need…” Another sob he fought to stifle. He needed the nightmares to let him sleep. He needed his head and body to quit aching. He was already a burden to the other heroes. He pushed through this on his adventure. He’d do it again...

There was a clatter as a golden gauntlet dropped to the ground and a cool wrist was lightly pressed against his forehead, then the eldest hero carefully pulled him into a hug and it was at that point that Sky fully lost his grip on everything and sobbed into Time’s chest. 

--

Sky collapsed into him with a sob and Time caught the Chosen Hero and fought to contain panic. The boy had a fever. He wasn’t sure what Surface Sick meant other than Sky seemed familiar with it, some sort of illness obviously. Then there was their current situation. They’d hoped to reach a town soon. It would be better to stock up on supplies and catch news of their quarry but could they even move if Sky was very bad off? He knew the Chosen would feel awful about disrupting the group’s travel but he couldn’t imagine forcing pace when the boy was sick and clearly exhausted. All this was currently supposed to be pushed to a back burner as the urgent issue was a teenager breaking down with a simple hug. 

“It’ll be ok, Sky.” He assured, shifting to take more of the Chosen’s weight. 

UHH AJ

LIKE OH MY GOD THE ANGST NKJFNSFLKJSANF;JEN

BUT ALSO THEM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS IM GONNA DIE /pos

#AJ writes #not my writing #this is so good Aj #Time and Sky dynamic is literally my fave #i love it #thanks for sharing #:D #ramble corner with major #linkeduniverse #lu sky #linked universe #lu Time #can we get this at one point in the future ever? #cause i need more it cant just end there like that #ndjkslfh;a #i will patiently wait

[theentireobjectshowcommunity]

YOU SHOULD DRAW LIAM HFJONE DOING HIS TAXES!!!!

and also umm. airy being put into a microwave it'd be so funny

hellooooo :] here’s they!!!! again, I’ll type any words written here under the cut :33 bc my handwriting still sucks

oh and idk if this means anything to anyone but I watched hfjone with my (cool) dad recently, and we have to specify that we’re talking about Liam as in the character from hfjone b/c Liam also happens to be my brothers name LMFAO

also yes my dad did an airy impression & it was Certainly An Experience That I Had ! /pos

the T in t-pose means transmasc :>

second to last thing. the yarn ball is my objectsona. I would say more abt her but idk if anyone’s interested in my silly little object oc’s lelel

OK Last thing I wanted to say …thank you for the ask I appreciate it!! I’m so glad there are people who seem to enjoy my stuff at least a little-

From top to bottom, left to right:

kinda like a pointy dome?

Liam t-pose

he’s so hard to draw :(

Sparks like a fork

TAXES: pay us $100,000,000 or die!!! sine here ___

*click click*

Yeah I’d rather die

It’s less painful <3

my dad did an Airy impression at some point (srsly)

Requested by @totally-six

Art by @theentireobjectshowcommunity

(both on tumblr)

me

#osc #object show community #hfjone #my stuff #my art #requests #mailbox #hfjone airy #airy one #airy hfjone #liam plecak #hfjone backpack #hfjone Liam

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 165

Blood Brother/Let’s Kill Hitler

“Blood Brother”

Plot Description: After Dean’s vampire companion in Purgatory, Benny, gets brutally beat up by his own kind, he calls Dean for help in going after his maker

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No. I don’t think I’d put up much of a fight if several vampires wanted to attack me. And not in the fun way. In the “guess I’ll die” way

You know…Benny is probably also A reason Dean let the girl go last episode

Holy shit…Benny did kill them all. FUCK. Also him calling Dean while heavily injured and Dean dropping the “Winchester Holy Grail Close the Gates of Hell Forever” quest (in Sam’s near exact words) to go to himmmmmm. Look, Destiel is real to me and canon to Spanish speakers, but this isn’t NOTHING between them

Step one: find Kevin Tran. Step two: ___________. Step three: Prophet.

Oof. You know…I was gonna be on Sam’s side because WHO could Dean know who needs his help that Sam doesn’t also know (WE know who), but then Dean came back with him having taken a year off of the job and Dean’s only taking a day

Dean, maybe don’t have these flashbacks WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING

The differences between Dean’s year and Sam’s is so stark

Now they’re just making up pointless stuff for Sam to do while Dean’s hunting

Vampire pirates. Vampirates. It is the third thing you say, sorry Benny (I’ve been waiting for that line)

Benny’s tragic backstory would be cool to actually watch. It’s beautiful and romantic and it ends so bloody

OMG HIS CREATOR DIDNT KILL THE WOKAN HE LOVED. HE TURNED HER.

I like that she’s risen in the ranks but I don’t like how the writers made her get there

Oh…Sam and Amelia were just two

Eugh…I don’t like how weirdly young the progenitor of this vampire nest looks. He’s not doing a good job of acting ancient…

When your ex-something kills your even older flame……..yeah, guess you do go through a bit of an existential crisis

Did Dean just commandeer that boat?

Mmmm, yeah. I’m not surprised Sam’s not happy with this turn of events once he found Dean.

“Let’s Kill Hitler”

Plot Description: the search for Melody Po sees the TARDIS crash land in 1930s Berlin

You know, upon rewatch, it’s rather obvious Mels is Melody/River from her introduction

Mels and Rory not super liking each other is so funny to me. They’re just kind of meh about each other’s existence

Oh right. The shapeshifting robots piloted by miniaturized people. I forgot about them

Interesting. I really would have thought that they’d have the Doctor listed as the war criminal not River.

Ok…she was trained to kill the Doctor. But she couldn’t have been doing that for long, and then she grows up with Amy and Rory, and then……..she regenerates into River and she goes right back to wanting to kill the Doctor?? It just seems a bit weird

Having two forms of techno-Amy repeatedly telling you you’re dying must be a fucking trip

There’s just a lot of stalling and pleading in this episode. It’s a good one but…it’s just like…there’s one thing that happens at the beginning and then the end

The Doctor gifts her the journalllllllll

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[nerdyenby]

Blue time :D I’m watching H

Pregame

We love the confidence :))

H is hungover, this can only go well /lh

Dave 3v1!!!

Callum is MCC’s collective imaginary friend, real and true

H sounded like such an angry parent when he said Shane’s name lmao

Callum: “Hello team!!” Kara and Sausage: “Hello” Callum: “and- and others others” H and Pete: “that’s me!!” I love this pre-event practice amalgams of a group :)))

Callum telling Shane he can’t name two things Callum is better at than him and Shane just calling him handsome

This is so chaotic, I’m so happy right now you guys

Tubbo is such a menace

“I didn’t even know it was freaking March” “it’s May” “ITS MAY?!???” realest thing tubbo’s ever said lol

This call is such a mess /pos

TUBBO BANNED LMAO

Oh this team is gonna be so chill, I’m so ready

Eret being so confused about Krinios “winning” $1.5k

Ryan breaking their monitor with a controller 😭😭😭

Rocket Spleef

Them talking about how Jojo was on both the first all-women and all-spanish teams

“Who do is still need to collect?” “Collect?!? Like they’re trading cards” “They are trading cards to me” 😂😂😂

I could totally see H doing a TCG pack opening stream

“I don’t think, I just do” *immediately falls to the bottom of the map*

I agree with H saying RSR is a bad first game, it think belongs mid-event

“No one’s dead yet, I don’t like that” “I’ll be the first if you want” Ryan 😂

I actually love the compass idea so much

HOW did H die there??? Lmao

Eret movement game anti, as she should

That was a solid third round

Everyone being so happy for/proud of Ryan getting top ten :))

TGTTOSAWAF

Talking about the lack of game music “Alone with the demons in my mind” Ryan 😭

The Krinios puns are so bad /pos

“I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna say it” “Say what?” “I hate tgttos” the entire team: *surprised pikachu face*

I never wanted to hear “sexy chicken, baby” come out of Cub’s mouth, ever

Parkour Warrior

“God, I love that logo” based!!!

Philza made minecraft, real and true

Are you “I need music in my brain 24/7” adhd or “forgot music existed for two weeks once” adhd

The twitch rivals shade 😂😂😂

I too love the moving platforms but I also feel like I could cry if I was trying real hard and couldn’t get it

The absolute silence after “‘the edgy posts’ follow me on twitter” 😂

The “hi Cub… bye Cub” is sending me

“Don’t explode Ry- uh, Eret” “I’ll try not to” “I will, however, explode” Ryan 😂

“That’s my bad, guys” “What do you mean it’s your bad, it’s our bad, we both suck” Eret my beloved

Parkour Tag

Parkour tag my beloathed /aff

H did so good against lime!! He got all three in 35 seconds!!!

H’s comms are insane

I love how there’s not really a designated leader here, like H might be the default assumption but they’re really all equals in how they interact and communicate. It’s not a given that a certain person in is igl, they ask/say “ok I’m gonna take charge here” when applicable, I love them

Cub don’t know his lefts and rights /lh

17 SECONDS???? THEYRE INSANEEEEE

Cub’s jukes!!!

H getting onto Ryan for not carrying hard enough 😂

Grid Runners

I’ll say it every single time, grid runners is a freaking amazing game

Eret immediately crashing oh my lord

That was painful to watch 😬

“Sorry about that guys” “Nah, now we have fun” I love H, he’s not taking any of Eret’s apologies

Good comms :)))

Listen to Eret 😭😭😭

H misunderstanding the task and talking over everyone else, that’s my streamer /lh

Best grid runners in history lmao

NOT LAST!!! :D

Meltdown

I too would die for HBomb94, so true Ryan

Awww lime flanked

Yeah that was a solid play

Eret going through it, rip

That was such a good fight against orange

Ayyyy first place!!!!

H’s flank there was INSANE

The purple/Purpled distinction messed em up lol

One of the most fun meltdowns I’ve seen :))

Eret needs to stop beating herself up about not getting better at movement, doesn’t she have dyspraxia? They literally can’t help it

Survival Games

Ryan just wanting to sot with H :((

I was gonna say it’s impressive that they all got out of that alive and then bam

Rip

H hyping up sand keepers, as he should!!!!

Sot antis only take Ls

Sands of Time

H encouraging Walli <333

Ryan getting full on yelled at for saying they’re gonna offhand carpet 😂

I don’t like how quiet Eret’s being but I trust him

They’re all so attentive and on top of it :)))

THEYRE SO GOATED!!

“It’s the last game, Ryan, have a little fun” “okay” “Play a little risky, have fun” “okay” his freaking voice

“I trust you” “Youre good a minecraft, I believe in you boss” “really?” Ryan is peak 🥹 energy

They’re swimming in sand

RIP IT CUB!!!!

We’re having so much fun here

YOOOOOOOOOOOO

6KKKKKKKKKK

DUBFAN!!!!!!!!!!!

That felt so freaking good, I’m so happy man

Dodgebolt

They’re all so excited for red :))

People predicted blue low?? I placed them first lol

“I’ve never actually spoken to Wallibear, so I’m gonna say that I hope he’s a great guy”

The confusion over Capitan’s skin is killing me lol

“We english speakers SUCK” real

Hi Illumina :)))

H gently elbowing Cub into believing in himself lmao

Let’s all team with Illumina

They’re like kids fighting over the most popular toy

I would actually love to see a 5-player team event, it would be so fun and so scuffed if they just barely changed anything

Great vibes great times :)))

#mc championship #mcc #mcyt #mcc 31 #hbomb94 #cubfan135 #eret #krinios #nerdy’s mcc reactions

[rose-fall]

Uhhhhh I had a weird dream?? So like. Rose Fall was an on going webcomic in this dream, so yay I started it in this not real scenario. And like, friends were reading it, and showed their friends (which is… veywgwyfwywgw /pos but like also eheguefuegeuegeu /you don’t gotta just cuz it happened in this dream doesn’t mean it has to happen for real I don’t wanna guilt anyone oh god- *that’s it, that’s the tone indicator) um anyway but I guess it went beyond just my friends and their circles cuz there’s this guy that was acting a lil strange and I guess he didn’t like Mike and Ashton? Like, as a ship? So like. He was like (and I’m paraphrasing here, he wasn’t this chill) “yo I know where you live, here’s your address, I know you’re all over this ship but I hate it I like this other one better, make that canon instead or I’ll kill you” and like. I can’t remember what ship he liked more, idk but that’s not important. What is important is that I literally had a dream where a guy sent me a death threat cuz I guess Mike and Ashton were too gay for him??? Like I remember him being like “I know Mike is canonically not straight (Mike’s omni) but he still has attraction to women, yeah? Uh, yeah I’d be much more comfortable if he was with this lady character instead so I can forget he’s queer. So if you don’t make that happen you die lmao” (again, I’m paraphrasing). Like, buddy I know you ain’t real but I just woke up and I got Emotions /neg. First of all, I’ve never had a dream where I got a stalkery death threat like aight, ok brain, not cool. Second of all, I’d say it’s silly to send someone a death threat over shipping but uh… y’know it’s. It’s happened before *thinks about a certain show I never watched but am aware of the fans threatening people behind this show that I shall not name*. Third of all, if you treat mspec characters, especially ones who have a binary gender and are dating someone of the “opposite” gender, as characters you can pretend are straight then no. Fuck you. Get the fuck out. Us multisexuals are not “just confused, there’s a good chance they’ll figure out they’re actually straight”. Like no fuck you, I hate you. I know there’s people like this and I don’t want them anywhere near me. I’m not less queer than those who’re strictly gay. I’m not “more straight” just cuz I can be attracted to women too. There’s no such thing. Anyway, fourth of all, I think I remember this guy like. Just hated Ashton? I can only guess it’s cuz he became a part of Mike’s life and “ruined any chances of Mike getting with a woman” (even tho they’re both open to trying out polyamory but y’know. If someone doesn’t like gay stuff I can imagine they’d not be aight with polyamory unless Mike “gets a ton of bitches” or whatever they cherrypicking bullshit they got. Idk man I can only guess, idk what my brain was on when it made this dream and forced it on to me lmao). Lastly, I’ve had worries about Rose Fall growing at least a small following and creepy gross people potentially finding it but. Death threats is a new worry lol. But I’m more awake now than I was when I started typing this so now it’s not seeming like that big of a deal to me. Sure I don’t want death threats over shipping especially if it’s some homophobe but. Idk now it feels silly now that I’m more awake to get worked up over this dumb dream. Ah well 🤷🏻, anyway comfort ocs Mike and Ashton go brrrrrrrrrrr :]

#text post #I might delete this later?? idk?? #death threat mention #homophobia mention #stalking mention #voltron tw #< I know I said I wouldn’t name it but other people’s well-being matters more #long post

[randomingoftherandomness]

What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about  Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut! 

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other... 

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured. 

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting. 

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter. 

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution. 

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right. 

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

#winner is king #feng huo liu jin #烽火流金 #gab to watch #changgu #chang geng #gu yun #tencent #cdrama #sha po lang #杀破狼

[maldito-arbol]

strengthhhhh

THAT RUCKIGN CROWN HRRRRR

Toad lords toad lords toad lordssss

It’s the crownnnnnn sashhh

Sasharcyyyy :(((( whyyy mallll, why can’t they just be happy

STRENGTH GRRRR

Tbh I find the castle interesting in general, it’s pretty cool.

FROOG FROOG FROOG

Oooooo secret doorway yumm, but also oh god it’s the basement isn’t it oh fuck.

OOOO STUFF LORE YUM, ALSO WARHAMMER MY BELOVEDDDD.

GRRR WHAT THE FUCK MALLL, WHAT WAS THAT WHAT WHAT

PERCY BRADDOCK OMGGGG THE DUDES!! I LOVE THEM

“He puts his hands up. “You have the final say,” he reminds her. “If you’d rather have them here, I won’t stop you. But remember that our enemies are numerous, and having eyes in different places is helpful.”

“Having eyes in different places is extremely helpful.””

Fuck I hate it here /lh

Anne :( :( :(

SASHARCY PLEASE JUST TALK IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES

Tbh I kinda like Aldo hshsshjs He is interesting

BERNARDOOOOOO

WOOO NEW OUTFITS

Braddock <3 <3 I love them!

Oh godddddd the claws were no a good ideaaa

LEGGGSSSSS YEAHH SHE HAS LEGSS WOO

WOOP WOOP Marcy’s new outfit!!

Sasharcy being soft eating this knowing things are probably gonna go to shit soon

Noooo orange ey door

Oh god sasharcy,,,,,,

MARCY OH FUCK

I feel emarresed for not realizing it’s probably the core and not strength till now,, I knew it didn’t feel like strength though

NO SASHA NO MARCYY

NOO THE COLLAR FUCK FUCK

““When you said you couldn’t bear to watch me die? When you made me promise to n- never let go?” It strikes Sasha like a knife to the heart. “…when did that change?”

And she bursts into hysterics, Marcy Wu, her precious girlfriend falls apart here in her arms, sobbing like she’s never been broken before this , a betrayal that painfully marks the ending of the era in which Marcy could depend on Sasha to feel safe. Now, it’s all shattered. “

FUCK ME HOLY FUCK /pos HOLY FUCK

Sasha and the plantersss :(((((((

Ooooooo languages

Marcyy and Sasha and Anne grrr :(((((((

Nooo not the fucking crown oh god Sasha Sasha Sasha fuck

BARREL BARREL?? MAL MAL MAL HOLY FUCK

THE CROWN THE FUCKING CROWN GRBRGRGHEHSJSMEKSJEJ GRRRRRRRR

THAT ENDING GRRR MAL WHAT THE FUCK WHY THIS CLIFFHANGER MAL IM GONNA DIE GRRRRRR

Gooooooddddd chapter but holy fuck Holy fuck holy fuck /pos

Oh, Strength

Fear the crown >:3

Can you tell I love the Toad Lords cause I Love the Toad Lords

Psshhhh whatre u talking about nothings wrong

Sasharcy was happy in IBYBF I had to change that

Leave Strength Alone 2k22

I LOVE the castle! This place is wild and hell yeah I’m gonna make that clear

Froog makes her debut >:3

Another secret doorway because we can never have enough of those!

Hehehehe I’m also Obsessed w the Warhammer can you tell

That was Something :)

PERCY AND BRADDOCK FOREVER

you like my eyeball jokes? We have fun here :)

Poor Anne. She out here listening to Heart’s horrible horrible story meanwhile all this shit going down.

Sasharcy talk about ur feelings challenge.

I like Aldo too I love Aldo I’m obsessed with Aldo I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!

BERNARDO MAKES HIS CAMEO!!

Yes finally! I get to update their designs!!

Braddock screentime because she deserves it.

Hahahahaha the Claws were a GREAT idea in canon but when I take from canon i can’t just let it be fine and dandy, I gotta ruin everything <3

Yes!! We’ve officially Passed True Colors era, which is marked by the arrival of Polly Plantar’s L E G G S

Super proud of Marcy for finally having a cape that isn’t torn! Although I did like the torn cape, maybe I’ll find a way to rip it in future chaps >:3

I had to give sasharcy SOME soft moments cause god knows I can’t live without them.

Orange :) Eye :)) Door :)))

Rip sasharcy there it goes

There Marcy goes too haha

EVERYONE WHO WAS HATING ON STRENGTH BETTER BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES NOW (no it’s ok I did that on purpose to cause all of you emotional damage)

Here comes the Collar again 👏👏 my favorite Angst Device!

YEAH I HAD JUST REREAD PMIT CHAP 2 AND I WAS LIKE “HOW BOUT I MAKE MYSELF CRY” so then I Did :’)))

So sad to see Sasha and the Plantars separate :(

Oh yes the languages. Do I have a plan for that? You bet I do!! Have fun translating that shit, Marce <3

Sashannarcy separates for real this time, SO tragic

Go Get That Crown Sashy >:)

BARREL MY BELOVED MAKES HIS DEBUT can you tell I’m obsessed with this man cause I’m obsessed with this man

Haha oh, that Crown

BECAUSE I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS!! NOW WHOS READY TO GET A NEW CHAPTER THAT DOESNT ADDRESS THE CLIFFHANGER WHATSOEVER CAUSE I AM!!!! ;)

As always, thank u for the ask hehehehe I enjoyed ur reactions <3

#ask mal #CMTO

[literaphobe]

season three of she-ra rated by catradora content

the price of power: adora talks about how she thinks the others at the horde can change too and when u think about it in the “at this point in the story, she still hoped catra would change” way it’s like wow :’) we knew that but wow :’) it sucks tho that in this scenario she’s actually wondering specifically if shadow weaver can change, which :/ hm :/ bc shadow weaver sucks. adora really fucking called her out on her abuse tho which is so sexy, and yes that has nothing to do with catradora i just felt like i really wanted to mention it at least <3 shadow weaver is a loserrrr <3 but.... she does mention “catra betrayed me” which makes adora do her “oh, catra?👀” eyebrow raise. i swear she cannot keep a straight fucking face whenever someone mentions catra. it’s like. are you lgbt or something? :/ 2/10

huntara: no catra this episode, but adora’s reaction to huntara will forever go down as one of her stupidest gay moments. u think catra knew super huge buff ladies were adora’s type? how fucking funny would it be if catra thought she never stood a chance with adora not because of the internalized homophobia shadow weaver instilled in them but simply because she thought she was not tall and buff enough for adora’s taste. “adora doesn’t want me!!!!! not like i want her..... because i’m not swole😔” 0/10

once upon a time in the waste: very funny and sexy of catra 2 be like. hm. i was sent here to die. i have completely given up on my hopes and dreams. oh wait what did you say? she-ra?😏 and she was blonde?👀 she’s got a sword?😩 she was angry?😽 her name is adora?👅 and all of a sudden catra is like nope existential crisis over. i’m gay again. and also evil again. that mix culminates in her giving a sexy monologue. did you know that if you’re gay and evil you will give very sexy monologues? and also sword lesbians will fall in love with you despite your questionable morals? anyway, catra takes over the whole of the crimson waste. i won’t discuss how since technically it doesn’t involve catradora but it was really hot okay😔 also adora was being really hot and powerful and fearless (she did not even flinch as bats flew in her face. hello?) and Angery this ep but i will also not get into it😩 i will however remark upon how both catra and adora low key had meltdown monologues this ep, and it is :( but also hot and cool of them. now, i will move onto when they meet <3 catra starts slow clapping as her goons creep onto mara’s ship and poison dart the best friend squad. they only send three darts flying and the last one is blocked by huntara. we have to assume that catra only ordered her team to send three darts for huntara, bow, and glimmer, leaving adora for last because catra has to greet her with, and let’s say it all together—“hey, adora😼”. adora tries to make a run for her sword but catra uses her new sexy cool whip to take it away. “i think this might be the quickest i ever won a fight. always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, adora?” adora tells huntara to save bow and glimmer first, leaving adora as catra’s only prisoner. 👀👀👀👀 soon after, everyone is celebrating, and catra sits in the big chair on mara’s ship like it’s a throne, casually draped over with adora’s sword in her hand, the long blade just resting between her legs. and. hooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooiiiiii. let me just. let me just have a second over here okay folks? this is all very hard for my sexuality to take. i don’t think u all realize how hard it is to make these evaluations. every day i have a breakdown over how hot one of them is. it’s one thing to just watch the show but every time something gay happens (so like, every five seconds) i gotta pause it and take notes (by take notes i really mean start ranting about it like this) and then i gotta like rewind it and shit to double check and i have to force myself to just be repeatedly subjected to the gayness. starting to get a little homophobic tbh! okay back to the show. catra is so fucking sweet and makes everyone cheer scorpia on too. she breaks out into this beautiful giggle. oh my god her laugh. bitches falling for this catgirl left and right smh. catra grabs scorpia’s claw and drags her away from the party. we also find out this is when catra learns about what a party is. remember how adora didn’t know what a party was either? :( damn. they deserve to have absolute ragers ok. catra starts talking about how valued and cool she will be when they go back and show hordak the sword, etc, and scorpia is like. but what if we didn’t do that. what if we just stayed here and had a gay life. a good honest gay life filled with sick parties and gang leading. and catra is like oh right.... u have a point..... i do hate the horde...... wonder why that is.... and then scorpia makes a fatal mistake. she says “forget adora!” which is about the dumbest thing you can tell a self destructive catgirl who’s been in love with adora her whole life but also kinda resents her atm. and catra is like perhaps i don’t want to forget adora. did u consider that scorpia? did you not think about how i crave her lips upon my mouth every night? fuck u im gonna go uh... find adora n maybe tie her up even more idk >:( catra goes to “check on the prisoner”, according to her own words. what does that mean, catra. like what. ur gonna go see if adora wants some tea? something 2 eat?👅 someone to kiss? Fkskdjdjdj adora is obviously struggling against her restraints and trying to break free, and the second she sees her she goes “catra, you can’t do this! >:(“ and catra is like “well, hello to you, too.” because MANNERS, adora, like god damn it catra always puts in the tender loving care and effort to greet you and you can’t even say hello? :( catra dismisses the goon who was previously guarding adora, because when you.... talk to your..... best friend turned enemy who’s now your prisoner. ur gonna want some privacy ya know😌😩👀😔 anyway catra is like ok.... once again.... y can’t i do this. and adora is like more horde army might come in!!! which. adora baby i love you but maybe don’t make that the thesis statement of your sales pitch? to the person who was second in command at the horde?? not to nitpick but if i were u i would’ve just said “noooooo don’t open a portal that might destroy reality ur so sexy ahaha” OR “if u give me back my sword and decide NOT to rip apart the fabric of this dimension i’ll kiss you on the mouth❤️” i know that u think ur feelings are one sided and that catra isn’t in love with you and that you can’t seduce her to the bright side💔 but u actually could have 💔 fkdkdjdjdj moving on.... catra says “never a dull moment with you❤️” which is weirdly so romantic. like yeah they’re enemies but catra gets bored when adora isn’t around. life is always exciting when adora is there, in catra’s eyes :’( like damn bitch if you like her so much why don’t you just marry her haha. please? <3 adora continues to explain that we will ALL lose if hordak opens a portal, light hope and mara said that opening a portal will endanger everyone!! and catra says the funniest thing. “you’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? you should really try to get over that. :/“ LFKDKFKDKFKFKFJ GIRL YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUNNY. but then adora says the wrong thing :( she brought up you know who and said “shadow weaver told me” and catra.... :( she’s like. how did. she tell you. and adora’s voice goes soft and it’s like “you didn’t know?” because from what she knows catra is allegedly the one who betrayed shadow weaver, not the other way around. and catra grabs adora by the collar and pulls her in and adora gets this gasp and. let me just scream for five minutes. okay. i’m back. so. catra pulls her in and she’s like HOW. and adora just very slowly and cautiously tells her the truth. that shadow weaver is in bright moon. and :( catra :( she lets go of adora and comes to this. very destructive realization that shadow weaver “left her” for adora and that all the pain she’s felt is all Because Of Adora. that, just by being adora, everything, all the happiness that catra could have had, has been taken away. which she is wrong about but that’s what she thinks :( and adora realizes that this is. not good. and she gently goes “catra?” because the look on her face must be worrying to adora, and catra starts to walk away and adora desperately calls out to her. “catra, please, you have to listen!” but...... it’s too late :( and catra is enveloped by the darkness. 9/10 for the collar grabbing shit and just the inherent gayness of their connection and interactions but also this is all so sad bros :( my bros are all devastated

moment of truth: catra walks back into the horde with her arm around adora’s shoulder. hm! Hm! HM! really doesn’t feel like she needs to do that! but she’s doing it anyway! later on, entrapta and adora are alone and talking. “catra would say anything to get whatever she wants.” true, but also not true, adora. she wants to be your gf, but has she said anything about it? no :/ that’s in like 2 seasons. and you were literally about to die so she low key had nothing to gain. so :/ think carefully next time. fjsjfjsjdjdjd entrapta pulls out the funniest cutest bar graphs of data, and there’s like four categories and for some reason catra has low scores for the first three but a really high score for the last one? i desperately want to know what that is. adora says “look, i understand. catra was my friend, too.” and she casts her eyes to the side when she says this. as if.... that statement is a lot more loaded than it seems. because yes catra was adora’s friend. but also wasn’t she, at the same time, so much more than that? yes <3 it was because they were best friends <3 gal pals <3 “but she makes bad decisions. this is one of them.” :( yeah i mean what am i supposed to do. disagree with that? it’s so wild to think about how even through all of this adora never hated catra. arguably, she never stopped loving her either. which. sigh😔 pour one out boys we are yearning tonight! entrapta leaves the room, asking adora if she’ll try to escape. and adora is like “no?👀” which is irrelevant but also really funny. another irrelevant thing i want to bring up is catra when she’s losing in a fight against shadow weaver. “so, what? you’re on the side of good now? you made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?” bro. fucking.... bro. catra’s lines istg.... also her being able to take on gang leaders and princesses and take those people down easily but to lose so quickly to shadow weaver... y’all know what that is right :( sigh. wait. i’m not done let’s sit very sadly on this next line for a bit. “do you know what happened to me after you escaped? do you even care?” i’m gonna cry okay. right. back to catradora. catra is. really unhinged and devastated and destructive right now :( and so she marches into entrapta’s lab and demands that they fire up the portal machine. entrapta says they can’t, because “adora was right” and immediately that sets catra off. she gives this barely restrained chuckle and is like “adora is right.....” and she’s just. having a full on breakdown. she’s just filled with so much anger and resentment.... i can’t even joke and call it a hate boner man, and that sucks because i would love to call it a hate boner :( “adora gets EVERYTHING she wants” no catra, you are wrong. she wants you. she does not have you. case closed. adora has literally only truly wanted one thing in her life, and she does not have it because you won’t give it to her 😔 in conclusion, adora p much never gets what she wants :( why don’t you go over and hug her and then maybe you’ll calm down. i know it’s more complicated than that but still😔 anyway, catra is very determined to not let adora win, so in order to beat adora, she decides they have to open the portal no matter what, because that’s the one thing adora seems to not want right now. some very not chill stuff happens, and catra runs into hordak’s lab and demands that he opens the portal. she lies to hordak and says “oh you can’t trust anyone, especially a PRINCESS” and she turns over to glare pointedly at adora. which is. SUCH a bitter ex thing to do. “they’ll just use you to get what they want” CATRA SHE LOVES YOU :( SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU SHE ONLY EVER WANTED TO BE WITH YOU :( and also she was raised to think she only had worth if she did what others expected of her and that everyone’s happiness and safety was somehow her responsibility. and that it would be better for her to die than for others to get hurt. she was never trying to use you :( you were the only thing that ever made her selfish :( bow, glimmer, and shadow weaver run in and fight with hordak and catra, and catra realizes she has to pull the lever now or it’ll be too late. adora desperately yells “catra, please, don’t!” and catra looks at her for a last time, evil smirking before she does it. roll credits. 8.5/10

remember: oh, we’re really in it now huh :( we hear the last lines from catra and adora from the last episode, and i think this is a part of adora’s dream. she is woken up by catra gently saying her name <3 then by catra a little bit angrily saying her name fjsjdjdjd adora wakes up with a shock and catra is sitting on top of her. HHHHHH. okay. adora shoves catra off and catra is like ???? damn what usually u pull me closer and hug me when i wake u up😔😔 wtf. but catra grabs adora’s wrists to calm her down anyway and gives her this pretty reassuring look, and she jokes “heh, since when do you sleep in? u usually wake up early to flirt with me!” as we all know adora gets nightmares even from her days in the horde so catra just treats this as normal and tries to make adora feel better as usual. ground her and say lighthearted things to make adora remember that she is safe. i mean technically the universe is collapsing in on itself rn so making adora feel safe isn’t the Best thing to do but catra also thinks the fake reality IS reality atm so that’s not her fault <3 adora is confused about how she got “here” and catra finds this strange because adora is in her room! she has her own room now, because she’s force captain! which makes u wonder whether catra and adora would sleep in the same bed if adora was force captain. would catra creep in and sleep in her bed still? would they lock the door and cuddle? oh well! guess we’ll never know! they... are so soft here, just smiling at each other, catra worried about adora, adora smiling back and deciding to just dismiss what happened as a weird dream. “there was something i needed to fix...” “of course you dream about work. there’s nothing to fix adora. everything’s perfect.” hhhh i know everyone in the fake reality thinks Everything’s Perfect too but can we just be gay for a second and think about how a perfect life for catra is just... to be with adora. can we just chomp down on that meaty thought for a sec? :( ok anyway, catra puts her hand on adora’s shoulder and adora smiles and is like wow ur right :) this does feel pretty perfect i mean catra and i are in bed together what could be so wrong💞😜😘👅😎😩 catra pulls adora up to her feet and says “come on, get up” and adora is perfectly happy to just chase after catra. it’s so fucking unfortunate tho that she decides at the last second to pick her ugly ass jacket up. like baby, no. u look perfectly hot as is in that white top. but she needs the jacket to see her force captain badge so she can get Visions or whatever. like goddamn i know the world was collapsing in on itself but imagine if shadow weaver had never been like abusive and the horde was just some chill ass ugly hangout spot instead of a fascist regime. catra and adora really could’ve just been happy huh? :( anyway catra gets kinda annoyed that her gf is not chasing after her any more and instead putting on her ugly ass jacket and looking at it in the mirror. so she’s like “adora! :(“ and adora goes running. she always comes when catra calls for her😌😌😌😌 and then the opening credits play, giving me whiplash. wow that was such a gay fucking cold open. adora walks side by side with catra and is a little weirded out by all the people saluting her and shit. and she’s like lmao wtf what are they all looking at and catra is like u u beautiful idiot. ur hot, and also the invasion of thaymor that u led went perfectly❤️ ur the hero of the hour i’m so proud of you babe❤️ catra is just a proud happy gf who smiles so beautifully and adora is getting more Visions and Flashbacks. but catra is so hot when she’s proud of her that adora decides that she’s gonna be like YEAH OMG I DID THAT WAR CRIME RIGHTS <3 and salutes people like a fucking idiot. and catra does the whole flirty “oh please, you couldn’t have done it without me ;)” bit and wraps her gay arm around gay adora who looks like she’s in heaven, hilariously pushing adora down a bit because catra is SHORT FJSJDJDJD and adora is like “rightttt ;) what would i ever do without you ;)” and man to be a horde soldier witnessing their flirting. i would start yelling slurs at them immediately. adora elbows catra with her arm and they both laugh, but the force causes catra to bump into a horde soldier. and the soldier makes the fatal mistake of reacting normally and being like HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING TWERP and catra is not amused. adora puts her hands on her hips, glaring at the soldier, and he immediately gets so fucking scared. and the soldier is like UHUHUH FORCE CAPTAIN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE— I’M SO SORRY. didn’t know she was what? DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS WHAT???? gay????? banging this angry catgirl????? in the middle of flirting with her??????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. what does it ALL mean?????? and adora is just like YEAH U BETTER BE >:( disMISSED >:( like fucking WHAT?????? yeah how dare u get mad at my gf for bumping into you. it is YOUR fault for existing while we were roughhousing as part of a very intricate ritual. u ruined the FLOW of our flirting u jackass. u fucking bitch. now we gotta start all over again :( and then like the soldier leaves while v terrified and keeps bowing at them and catra and adora just bursts out laughing at each other. they’re that lesbian couple who will bully u in school and feel zero remorse for it. that is so fucking sexy. i wish that were me. catra proceeds to make fun of the soldier she bumped into and didn’t even apologize to all “oh, force captain, don’t hurt me! UHAHASHUAH” and adora plays along with the re-enactment by posing and acting tough. catra really do be flexing her privilege as gf of everyone’s boss huh. she’s that secretary who WILL spit in your coffee and kick you in the shin all because the CEO is in love with her and they’re like slamming ass. catra is like. just straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that she’s untouchable because adora is in love with her. that’s just. that’s just greaaat. they both start laughing again at their own jokes. and yeah they’re both pretty funny people but like ok lesbians. have fun being happy or whatever. catra is like “too good” and adora is like hehehe baby!!!! where are we going again and catra is like to the locker room!! there’s something i wanna show you😘😘😘 because you know they’re in love. them just walking down a corridor together feels like a straight up date. adora thinks they’re taking The Long Way instead of this shortcut she knows with a side door but that door is gone and suddenly this throws Doubt again. and i guess that door got swallowed up by the reality-collapsing portal but damn adora :/ what’s wrong with taking the long way? :/ too good to spend some quality time w ur gf? :/ JFJSJDJ anyway catra is like what? no this way is the right way :) the scene can be read as cute gfs who argue about directions even tho it’s just a walk to the locker room ❤️ i wouldn’t say it’s the right way to read the scene bc the point is that parts of reality as adora knows it is disappearing but shhh. i am gay <3 catra immediately starts worrying about adora again and she’s like DO U HAVE A CONCUSSION :( and like grabs adora’s face which is so cute. she also accidentally shoves adora towards her chest so adora has No Choice but to stare :) good for you adora “i know you get hit on the head a lot” JFKSKDKSJDJD man but catra gf goals tho :( get u a girl who will check if u have a concussion because you get hit on the head a lot, most of it accidents 😩😩😩 “but i figured your dumb little hair poof would cushion the blow” HDHJSSHAHSHSHSH GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THO UR HAIR POOF IS DUMB😳😳😳 adora is a tiny bit >:( about being roasted for her hair choices and also a bit >:) because catra touched her and she’s like LMAOOO IM ALL CHILL M8 😩👌🏻💅🏻😎 “don’t make me kick your butt” as she shoves catra. wow adora! watch where you’re putting your hands! jk i know i know :) you simply have no choice because the only place to shove someone is to push their tiddies :) i understand and approve :) catra responds to adora’s threats with “pft ;) as if you could” which is just yet another invitation for them to “fight” :). u know how i feel about catradora and their roughhousing? it’s like. u know how people talk about men fighting each other as an excuse to touch? i feel like catradora said yeah that’s ours now. and they’re right. it’s theirs. they literally. they fucking giggle and shit as they start shoving and hitting each other all the way to the locker room. and lonnie is like SURPRISE and adora’s reaction is so funny she legit looks like she got mad p*ssy blocked and she’s like the FUCK. and catra isn’t as mad bc she kind of like planned this cute like i love you adora❤️ surprise party. because it’s a surprise party! for adora! adora is like damn whats this?? grey ration bar cake w my face drawn on it? also from the looks of the drawing i feel like catra definitely drew it. isn’t that so fucking cute. adora hugs lonnie (yay) and kyle (what the fuck gross???) and she’s like u guys 😩😩😩u got the gray kind.... that’s way better than the brown kind.... lonnie is like “hey, it was catra’s idea!” implying that catra definitely specifically told them to make the cake out of the gray ration bars, not the brown ones. and adora. let’s all take a deep breath. she goes. “oh yeah? ;)” in the most. insufferably flirty way ever. like in that Wow This Was All You Huh ;) way, with her stupid hands on her stupid hips giving catra this 😏😏😏😏😏😏 look. and catra is like ;) casually leaning against the wall, her arms all crossed. it is interesting to note that adora keeps putting her hands on her hips and catra keeps crossing her arms. i think that’s really cute. catra says “eh, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it” but it is a big deal catra. u don’t just plan cute surprise parties for anyone. and the fact that this is YOU we’re talking about? for catra planning a thoughtful surprise party catered to adora’s tastes all because she’s proud of her accomplishments..... is on par with proposing marriage. adora won’t let catra live this down tho. “wow, i can’t believe you like me ;) that is so embarrassing for you!” and she grabs catra for head scratches. catra giggles and pushes against adora saying “stop it😳😳(no don’t stop bro don’t stop😩😩) get off 🙄🙄 (wait actually don’t get off😩😩) this is not 😡 because i like you😳😳(it’s because i love you💞)” and she shoves adora off only to IMMEDIATELY pounce on adora, making adora laugh so fucking happily. kyle is secretly a lesbophobe tho so when he sees this gay display he’s like WUUUUOHOH I DROP CAKE :( and we get this VERY quick frame of catra and adora with their fingers interlocked before they pull apart at the crash and look at kyle. that is so fucking rude of u kyle. we could’ve gotten a few more seconds of catra and adora interlacing their fingers but NO. fuck u. thankfully, the euphoria of being gay is still burning strong for catra and adora, so they laugh happily instead of beating the shit out of kyle. how sweet <3 adora sees the word MARA in one of the cake pieces, and she’s very thrown off right before catra holds her shoulder and is like “hang on, you got something right... THERE!” and she like throws grey bar sludge into adora’s face ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 u know? how you pal around with your gals? adora rubs the grey cake stuff off her face, and then.... ugh i don’t even wanna say her name. we were all having such a good gay time :( [redacted] walks in and tells adora to get off the floor, and tells catra to get herself cleaned up. and [redacted] tells adora to come with her. adora gazes gayly upon catra’s face who gives her a reassuring smile that tells adora she’s okay, so adora runs along. catra looks lovingly at adora while she walks away. shadow weaver praises adora’s successful war crime and adora is like i couldn’t have done it without the others aka catra <3 and in this fake reality she succeeded in persuading shadow weaver to let catra come with her! adora goes to the force captain briefing and gets roasted by scorpia because scorpia is still like. jealous of adora because you know..... you know how you hate the person your crush is in love with? yeah <3 adora freaks out because the universe is falling apart and she keeps getting visions from her real life. and then catra appears, and all the weirdness stops for a moment. i think it is so interesting how the world starts falling apart faster when catra isn’t there, but when catra is there things in the fake reality start to look and feel a little more normal. it’s like.... catra and adora’s connection is so strong that when they’re together... they can stabilize the collapse of a reality. just for a little while. just to have a little more time together. their gay levels are THAT strong. they’re like level 5000 lesbians. and they just keep leveling up as the show goes on which is why by s5 they can defeat an intergalactic conquerer just by making out LMAOOOOO anyway. catra is very worried about her wife. she’s all “adora, what is wrong?” yeah she’s so worried she doesn’t even use a contraction. adora takes out the slip of paper and shows it to catra. “did you write this?????” and catra looks at it and is like “did i write a blank piece of paper? i’m gonna go with no.” which. KFKDKFKDKFKDKFFJ BROOOO WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY. it’s like not supposed to be funny because adora is having a meltdown but it’s so fucking funny i—moving on. adora starts properly freaking out and catra is like hey :( u ok omg :( calm down :( and she puts her hand on adora’s shoulder but adora swats it away like I CAN’T CALM DOWN :( and she starts rambling and referencing stuff that happened and this vision of catra betraying adora in promise shows up (i think it’s catra’s memory?????) and catra slaps adora. which. HEY :( but also it’s like very funny. and adora is like ow :( what was that? :( and catra is like sowwy!!!! :( u were freaking out!!!! and it was freaking me out!!!!! :( and adora is like well u didn’t have to Slap Me :(((((( and is like why would my evil catgirl gf do this. have i not loved her enough :( is this the thanks i get for loving her with my entire heart :( and catra grabs her arm and is like come on!!!! let’s get you outside!!!! you need some air :) and oh. oh man. oh to have my hand/arm lovingly held by a girl as she giggles and excitedly drags me somewhere. the fucking dream. adora protests against getting air which (??????) u don’t want air? but u need air? to breathe? i know adora is just trying to say she doesn’t need to like go to her and catra’s secret place at the highest edge of the horde but then oh guess what? she’s there with catra. and adora is like how did we get here.... and catra looks depressed because her gf is losing it and that’s so sad 😔 she’s like how did we get here? we climbed up :( like we always do :( or am i the only one who remembers that :( and adora is like idk what’s happening to me :( it’s like i’m losing my mind..... and catra is like you just need to relax <3 by hanging out with me <3 and adora is like ur probs right :( am fine :( everything fine :( and she gets this glimpse of catra and catra smiling evilly at her but catra gets up and is like huh! ofc im right! Everything’s Perfect! soon, the two of us are gonna be ruling etheria together, just like we always planned 😺😸😹😻😼😽😾🙀 and quietly, adora goes “is that what you really want? to rule the world?” and catra gets this UHHHHH look akin to when someone asks u “hey, do you like apples? or are you just gay for me?” and you gotta awkwardly answer “what.... nooooo..... i’m not gay i fucking love apples” and so catra gets the exact face that expresses this sentiment and she’s like “i mean, yeah, obviously. isn’t that what you want too?” and it’s like UGHHHH because clearly neither of them want to rule the world! ruling the world was just an excuse for catra to be with adora, and when adora inevitably says “hey maybe we shouldn’t rule the world” catra will take it to mean “i don’t want to be with you” instead of “ruling the world is bad” and it’s just. it really tears me the fuck up bros! when catra says don’t you want to rule the world too? she really means don’t you want to be with me? and it’s just. HHHHHHHHH. i can NOT. i have had it up to HERE. adora says “i don’t know (re ruling the world lmao i went on a tangent earlier)” and catra is like “don’t flake out on me now!” like ruling the world is meeting up for lunch and suddenly adora texted at 11:30 am that she’s not really feeling up to it today :/ “this is what we always wanted”, catra continues to say, and we all know that “this” is..... the freedom to be with each other, without everything else getting in the way. “everything will be perfect as long as we stay together”. and she is right about that. but also catra’s current definition of them “staying together” isn’t right. adora and catra were always supposed to meet halfway. they will both have to grow to do that. but let’s not get 2 deep😩 i am here to have meltdowns and make gay jokes only😌 and then adora says “what if we don’t stay together? what if it all goes wrong?” which is like. damn that’s the show right there KFKSJDJSJDJ and adora sees lightning again and she gets upset because why can’t catra see the reality-cracking lightning too!!!! why can’t catra see the light!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be doing good things and not evil things!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be coming with me, running away with me, being with me in a place that’s safe!!!!! and catra grabs her hand and is like “adora!!! stay with me, okay? :( you’re just seeing things. it’s all in your head” and it is all so terribly tragic and sad. ah, the age old argument. come with me, stay with me. i will be whispering this in decades’ time, spreading gay tales to my loved ones. after this, lonnie is calling for adora and catra. “thought we’d find you up there” FJSJDJSJDJD the way it’s just like an open secret that catra and adora are gay and have a gay hangout spot where they do gay things. incredible. adora finds out an entire week has passed all of a sudden and she grips her head in frustration and catra is like adora? :( and holds her in concern. and adora is like ranting about how there’s something wrong with space and time!! and catra is just freaked out and begging her to stop because adora please! please stop finding the destruction of reality weird and hold my hand! i haven’t been happy since the day you left! and.... hoo okay sadness. catra’s holding her arm and adora’s like we’re not supposed to be here!!! catra holds her upper arms and goes “adora, everything’s okay!” and adora snaps and tells her to stop saying that! because this isn’t right! because she will lose everything, including catra, if she does not fix this. “everyone keeps telling me everything is perfect but it’s not! everyone except... scorpia” so she runs away to find her and catra is like adora!!! adora, where are you going? please don’t go. don’t go where i can’t follow😔😔 but adora is gone. we get this whole thing with scorpia and adora and adora is straight up just so petty. about scorpia hating her. which mood because i want everyone to like me. all the time. but also adora in scorpia’s defense she has a crush on a certain catgirl who will Not Shut Up about you :/ adora gets flashbacks about catra and realizes that the girl she’s been inappropriately touching for the past.... day? is the one who did the thing that is destroying reality❤️ LMAOOOOO this would be like... hm actually not many situations available to describe this. except. have you been flirting with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? have you been in love with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? yeah stuff like that <3 “catra did this. she captured me, she took... the sword. she activated the portal!” LFKSKDKSKDKDK you know what? this would be 58384848484 times funnier if they had canonically banged during the fake reality before adora realized the world as they all knew it was about to end <3 and you know what? they did bone. but it was cut for time <3 KFKDKDKDK JKJK god i need to like shut up for once in my life. but if i did that, these evaluations which no one asked for would not exist❤️ adora loses scorpia and razz (temporarily) and lonnie and she finds catra again! even tho she now remembers that catra kidnapped her and took her sword and used it for the portal and activated her portal.... she immediately grabs catra and pulls her along with her. despite knowing all that..... for the moment she is acting on instinct and doesn’t care. she just wants to keep catra with her and keep catra safe because the portal is swallowing up so many people and she cannot lose catra. adora drags her to this weapons closet that closes behind them and catra, instead of kissing her in this enclosed space (WIMP), shakes her and is like hey! you’ve officially lost it, haven’t you? and adora is like listen, we have to go. now! scorpia, lonnie, kyle, rogelio, they’re all gone! but catra is like what are you talking about? who’s gone? and adora’s all they’re gone. there’s nothing left. and we’ll be next if we don’t get out of here right now. and she’s so firm about it putting her entire foot down because No. not catra. she Cannot lose her. but catra is so stuck in wanting some part of all this to be real that she’s arguing with adora that she’s not making sense and Everything Is Fine. and adora goes “don’t say it’s Perfect. i know it’s not perfect and so do you!” because... she just knows catra that well. and she knows catra is smart enough to see what’s going on if scorpia did that too. catra’s choosing to repress it all, but adora’s words snap catra into memory for a moment, and she remembers it, maybe even remembers it all, and i think.... it all just hurts too much and she’d rather not be in that reality so she acts like she doesn’t know a thing and tells adora she’s not going anywhere. frustrated because she can’t convince catra, adora picks up one of the stun barons and... tases catra KFKSKDKDKDKSKDK and i can’t help but think of when catra tased adora back in sword part 2 (1x02) and man that is not good but also so funny that they’ve both tased each other. there’s this desperation there in both instances that we should definitely not romanticize at all but they just. deep down they will just do close to anything to keep the other with them. and it is messed up! and i’m glad that a little ways down the road they unlearn this but also.... wow. adora catches catra tenderly in her arms as she slumps against her, literally fucking BRIDAL CARRYING catra out and running away from the crumbling horde. literally IMAGINE IF LIKE. catra did not wake up and fight with adora. imagine if catra had stayed passed out longer and adora had fixed the portal without anyone getting left behind. and catra was still unconscious and she like walks out of the portal back into where they all were with catra in her arms like that. just like hey i fixed the portal :) all of us nearly died and it was kind of partially this catgirl’s fault but i’m like low key desperately in love with her so can we keep her? lmao :-) anyway. adora steals a skiff again (lmao first ep throw back! remember their date) and flies her and catra out of the crumbling world. catra wakes up, watching adora’s determined face as she flies them out and catra’s like WAIT WTF DIDN’T U TASE ME and is like hypocritically fighting adora trying to grab the stun baton. bad idea! adora’s DRIVING you don’t attack the driver!! but catra does not often make good decisions </3 the skiff crashes and they both fall off. they get up, look at each other angrily and run after the stun baton. catra grabs it first but adora hits it out of her hand and grapples catra who continues to keep reaching for the weapon. “catra, you can’t. we need to get as far from the fright zone as possible or we’ll be completely erased along with everything else.” “you think you can convince me by kidnapping me?” well no but goddamn the world is COLLAPSING catra PLEASE :( also is the power of love not enough? catra she loves you she’s in love with you she would pull you from the depths of hell even if you threw everyone in there in the first place!!!!!! that’s how deep this runs because that’s not even a metaphor adora has identified you as the main party who brought upon this reality ripping portal and still!!! she wants you saved. is that not fucking hot? :/ is that not sexy enough for you? :/ KFKSKDKSKDK jkjk okay catra continues with “what is wrong with you?!” and throws adora over her shoulder. not to like. ruin a very heated and serious moment in the show. but catra throwing adora like it’s nothing is like... very strong..... and when you remember how adora likes strong girls........ KFKDKDKDKDKDKDJ adora b like ow that hurts 😔 u free next friday? 😳 catra goes up to the stun baton again and adora kicks it away. “i won’t leave you behind again.” “why can’t you just stay? we have everything we ever wanted.” BITCH THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF. THERE’S A PORTAL EATING UP REALITY. STAY WHERE? “it’s not real, catra.” YES. save the world first, and then after this you can play rock paper scissors and the loser will go with the winner❤️ wouldn’t it be so funny if they did that. if they decided to leave it up to chance. if adora was like well the horde is evil but if you beat me in rock paper scissors i guess i will follow you wherever you go. and then they like fix the portal and everyone is like yay hey adora lets go back to bright moon! and she’s like yeah uh i gotta hash out this situation with my gf real quick uh just a little heads up i might be bringing the horde’s best strategist and leader over to our side OR i might be fighting for the bad people again :/ so wish me luck and everyone just had to stand there and watch as adora and catra held their hands out and went ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT anyway. “as much as i wish that things could be simple the way they used to be, there’s no going back.” and she holds catra gently and in many ways i think she’s sort of acknowledging that she really, really just wants that light hearted playful dynamic with catra back. they both just experienced it again. they both just threw themselves back into it again. and adora really wants to be happy with catra, she would stay with catra if she could, but she has overwhelming responsibilities and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that was instilled in her from a young age. and she thinks she shouldn’t get to choose her happiness, to put herself first. also like. THE HORDE IS EVIL DJSJDJSNDNSJS like. that’s a really important part too. it’s kind of hard for catra to distinguish that though because she’s had very. evil things done to her all her life. and she held on for so long because she thought adora would always be there with her but then adora walks away and makes it seem like. it could have been that easy. but it can’t have been that easy because if it was so easy why did catra have to suffer so much for? also adora didn’t run away to save catra. she had this destiny thrust upon her, and she chose to leave the horde before inviting catra along, which is not wrong of her at all, but it inevitably made catra feel like an afterthought. and now... things are kind of damaged. and catra just wants to run if adora won’t stay, so she shoves adora and takes off and adora lunges after her, tackling her, and adora decides to confront catra about the big elephant in the room, the thing she’s not said a thing about to catra until now when they’re fighting because she was so desperate to save catra before. “why did you do it?” “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” which is a lie but now that she really gets to see the consequences of her rage and anguish filled actions, i don’t think catra can properly explain it either. she was just so angry and she had built this narrative in her head that it was adora’s fault, and so she just wanted to do everything that adora didn’t want her to do. except u failed catra😔 adora wants you to love her and you do, you do love her😔 oopsie😔 you just don’t show it in healthy ways most of the time because your relationship is fraught with tragedy and abusive upbringings💔 adora gives up questioning catra for the moment because “there’s no time. we have to go.” catra grunts as adora’s childhood promise plays in her mind and it is overlaid with the adora of the present telling her “i promise, everything will be okay if we just stay together.” and goddamn adora really means it. she’s literally willing to patch everything up together even after everything if catra will just Decide right here, right now, to go with her. right then, the memory of adora first asking catra to come with her plays and adora is asking her, “help me fix this, please, this can’t be what you wanted” because adora knows! she knows how caught up catra was, in her pain and anger and desperation to win, to overcome all the times she lost growing up. she believed that catra, with her loving heart that saved adora everyday they knew each other growing up, could not have wanted to erase all of reality. to erase what they had. but just because adora knows that doesn’t mean catra does. all the rage and pain and resentment that led to her opening the portal, it is still there, and it is still affecting her judgement in a bad way, and by reminding her that she cannot just repress it all, that she cannot just play pretend with adora until their time is up,,,, this leads her to lash out again :( :( :( “don’t you get it? i am never going to go with you.” i wanna be like sad but also this bitch straight up LYING remember that other time she said “don’t you get it?” remember what came after that? so maybe catra in this moment is too angry and consumed by self hatred, too proud to admit she wants adora when she thinks adora doesn’t want her the way she wants her.... but “never”? lmaooooo ok :/ catra evil gay laughs and goes “you always have to go and ruin it, don’t you?” ruin what???? the illusion????? the pretenses you work so hard to keep to cover up how deep the feelings you both have run??? catra lunges for adora and fights with her, scratching and missing because adora is dodging and catra’s heart is too.... sigh..... she’s too fucking gay to really bring it ok? no matter how angry she is she still loves adora too much to give it her best. adora doesn’t fight back, mostly defending and pushing catra away. “catra, look what’s happening. you’re going to destroy everything!” catra stomped on her heart and she still wants to Convince her, which is really sad, for now, for both of them. and catra goes feral and is like “i don’t care! i won’t let you win. i’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.” :( bro? this song is so sad. can we change it? sigh. catra is too far gone at the moment. everything, even the slightest concession to adora, even at the expense of existence, is like admitting defeat to catra. and when catra says she’d rather see the whole world end than let adora win, she’s also saying she’d let herself... die. and that is just so sad. bro who gave season three the right. like... i am so exhausted. i am just trying to call some bitches out for being gay, i did not sign up for all this pain. i am so exhausted. this episode is twenty odd minutes or so. you know how many hours i’ve spent writing this? it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for being extra, but man i am so tired. i love seeing catradora interact, but god, at what cost? the portal rips up the ground between them, and catra grabs at adora, clutching onto her badge. i cannot tell if she was just trying to take it off or she wanted to grab adora and pull her close too. “catra, no!” adora grabs catra’s wrist but the badge falls off and catra falls too. “catra!” catra is on some rock in the falling heap, and adora reaches for her but she’s too far away. still, she keeps her hand outstretched. but catra, who’s hanging on by a rock at this point, gives her this look of... almost helplessness. that then hardens into resentment and anger and she just. lets go. and adora, who has tears in her eyes, is just. she absolutely crumbles here. and she runs a good distance away and falls to her knees and just starts SOBBING. she is just crying so hard over losing catra AGAIN and it’s just. That’s Too Much, Man! thankfully, razz shows up and is like stop crying bitch u can still save her ❤️ so adora decides to stop crying for all time and gets to work❤️ 10/10 but also did i ask? :/ yes i did and i am in so much pain right now. my god what an episode

the portal: it’s so fucking refreshing not seeing catradora for a bit <3 i spent hours watching remember ok. here i am now starting the last ep at least a full week later because of how much it was. sometimes this show is too gay <3 i love it tho! i do <3 it’s just hard having to pause and replay every five seconds and write an essay about the tiniest thing <3 and i know what you’re thinking <3 no one asked me to do this <3 no one asked me to be so extra <3 and yet <3 anyway, more than half of the ep passes with adora losing bow and glimmer in the end, but as she’s crying on her knees again she lifts her head up and corrupted!catra touches her forehead with one finger. oh <3 that’s gay <3 anyway, catra’s here because she died but she’s got like nine lives so she’s back now and infected by the collapsing portal. oh great! we get what is probably the most cursed ḩ̵͕̺̯͚̞͈̰̤͎̥̗̳͂̽̃̄͌̎̅̈́̏̎͘͝͝ẻ̷͇͚͈̤̪̖̜̥̥̱̼̅̒͌͗͝y̴̥̺̓͌͊͌̊͒͌̏̔̕͝ ̶̧̟̤̠̯̱̳͕̙̯̔ͅá̶̤͉͕̱̰̮̺̮̝̗̱̲͓̺̯̒͐͐d̵̨̟̖̦̈̑̄̌̍̆̀̾̊̑̽͗͝͠ȏ̷̧̢̨̞̮͇̟̘̘̠̼̊͆̐̉̉̀̌̿̚ͅŗ̴̢̬͚͉̦̘̪̜̥̑̔̈́̀̒͂͗͜͠ͅą̸̡̡͕͈͚͕̼͔̳͔̖̙̯̱̓͗̊́. the look on adora’s face when she’s greeted with this is very interesting. she gives catra this little once over. on one hand, catra isn’t gone like adora thought when she had lost her into the collapsing portal, but also something about this catra definitely doesn’t look right. catra then proceeds to slam adora into another dimension. flat against the bar table in the crimson waste... and ngl it looks like. catra slammed her on the table for :/ stuff :/ that’s like :/ you know :/ banging :/ and adora even looks around for a moment because catra isn’t there and adora’s thinking damn where u at catra? :/ so you didn’t slam me against this table for... no? :( we aren’t gonna slam ass? :( but then surprise surprise! catra straddles her at the last moment! adora gasps and catra is like oh... where are your friends? in that unsettling corrupted tone. notice how adora has been silent this entire time. so horny you couldn’t speak bitch? :/ sadly, catra lunges for adora and adora realizes that catra is still evil and that she isn’t going to kiss her gently on the lips after all 😔 adora grabs catra by the arm and pulls her close. she puts her other hand on catra’s shoulder. adora baby.... you don’t need to touch her with both hands. are you that gay? yes. why am i even asking that question. “catra, stop. you have to–“ catra pushes her face aside. “it’s always the same with you, adora. i have to do this, oh we have to do that!” and then they’re like gay struggling against each other? and catra pulls adora up and holds her tight against her, adora’s arm bent over catra’s shoulder to keep her there. then with her other arm she wraps her elbow around adora’s other arm to further restrain her? and then she puts her face right against adora’s cheek. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s just. homoerotic. damn the gays fight like this? catra then tosses adora aside and they land somewhere else. catra says like things to adora that are about her insecurities and stuff. but i’m not gonna get into those <3 isn’t that so sexy of me? instead i will say this. catra kind of like fights one sidedly with adora a lot in this segment where they go through various locations we’ve seen in the show, and she like talks a lot of shit. but let’s focus on how adora’s feeling <3 she goes through it like this. 1) not horny anymore! i’m scared/insecure/angry with catra now 2) catra throws adora into the big chair on mara’s ship and catra slams her hand against it next to adora’s face like how someone might do before you kiss them in movies 3) horny again 4) catra doesn’t say sorry for the mean things corrupted her said and she didn’t kiss her gently on the lips so adora gets her shit together and realizes all the things evil corrupted catra is saying is not her fault! she pushes catra away and is like “i didn’t make you pull the switch. i didn’t make you do anything! i didn’t break the world, but i am gonna fix it. and you? you made your choice. now live with it!” and in between all that she fights back against catra and at the end she does you know that punch we all know about. but after the punch she calms down from that emotional breakthrough high and gets this :( face. at the end of the day... no matter how far gone catra went, no matter how right she was in setting those boundaries and making it clear catra has to be responsible for her actions, adora cares. adora loves her, it’s the one thing she can’t help. and to see catra sink so deep into the darkness... it hurts her. adora watches catra disintegrate when they fall into the wormhole thing that the portal caused, and she has this like. >:( :( look because adora’s planning to fix everything anyway, the upsetting thing here for her is that she failed to make catra see sense. catra’s likely going back to the horde when all of this is over and there’s nothing adora can do about it. and at the moment i don’t think adora wants to try anymore after failing so many times... which is good for her! but also they are both going to be so sad after this </3 after the whole angella scene (miss that milf) adora gets the sword back and becomes she ra again. we go back to the scene in the horde and catra clutches the side of her face, so we know that was her but it also wasn’t Her, you know? like part of her face got corrupted by the portal and she just had to make sure she was real and whole again. adora comes back as she-ra and destroys the portal, prompting catra to escape. but she looks back at the last moment, looks back angrily, and adora gives her an equally hard stare. she’s done with catra, for the moment, and catra realizes this, and it kind of hits her that this adora is different now. and for a moment she is sad and afraid, but she pulls it together to make a mean face again, before running away. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this is so long i hate myself #please like this and find it funny #also feel free to discuss any of the concepts or scenarios or things or whatever i brought up in here #we are on catradora s3 evaluation lockdown! #also yes i started using emojis here which i did not use for s1 and s2 #have fun reading! #please rb this

[daidreamn]

okay I cant take screenshots but

incorrect quote generator for my ocs (x) that are way too accurate

cut for length

Gelato: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Caesar: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Gelato: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Caesar: But I heard a siren. Santiago: That was Keicho. Keicho: Sorry, I got nervous.

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Gelato: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- Santiago: Eyy, homie! Caesar: But then there's cootie... Keicho: Die.

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Keicho: I give up. I am so tired. Santiago: Get the emergency supply! Gelato: *carries Caesar and places them in front of Keicho* Caesar: *smiles* Keicho: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

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Keicho: My stomach growled super loud in French. Keicho: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Santiago: Bonjour. Gelato: Le growl. Caesar: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

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Santiago, Gelato & Keicho: *screaming* Caesar: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Keicho?! Santiago: Wait, why are you asking Keicho that when Gelato and I are also here? Caesar: Because Keicho wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

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Keicho: You're smiling. What happened? Santiago: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Caesar: Gelato tripped and fell down the stairs today.

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Caesar: Everyone synchronise your watches. Gelato: I don't know how to do that. Keicho: I don't wear a watch. Santiago: Time is a construct.

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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Keicho, with Caesar and Santiago behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Keicho: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Keicho: Gelato FUCKING FELL OFF!

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Santiago: ARE YOU- Gelato: Fucking. Santiago: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Gelato Fucking. Santiago: IDIOT! Keicho: …What was that? Gelato: Caesar banned Santiago from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

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Santiago: You know you can die from that, right? Caesar: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point. Keicho: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up. Gelato: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

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*Everyone is playing a board game together* Keicho: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Gelato: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Santiago: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Caesar: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Santiago: *flips the board*

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Gelato: I just want someone to take me out. Santiago: On a date? Keicho: With a sniper gun? Caesar: Both if you're not a coward.

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Gelato: What’s up with Keicho? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? Santiago: They're just a little overwhelmed. Gelato: Why? Santiago: Caesar smiled at them.

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Santiago: Where the devil is Keicho? Gelato: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe they melted? Caesar: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

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Gelato: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Santiago: Strong. Keicho: Weak. Caesar: An idiot, is what your are.

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Gelato: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Caesar: Weight loss? Drink water. Keicho: Clear skin? Drink water. Santiago: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Okay in a lot of these it sounds like Keicho has a crush on Caesar and thats not my intention but let's play with the shipping quotes

Keicho: Know why I called you in here? Caesar: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Keicho: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

-(😳 I oop)

Caesar: Are you ready to commit? Keicho: Like, a crime or a relationship?

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Caesar: *angrily presses Keicho against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Keicho: ... Keicho: Are we about to kiss-

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Keicho: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Caesar: Caesar: I like you.

-

Caesar: Can you cut me some slack, Keicho? I’m sort of in love. Keicho: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Caesar: I’m in love with you. Keicho: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

-

Keicho: That's ridiculous, Caesar doesn't have a crush on me. Santiago: Yes they do. Gelato: Yes they do. Caesar: Yes I do.

-

Keicho: So you like cats? Caesar: Yeah. Keicho: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

-

Keicho: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Caesar: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Keicho: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Caesar: Is it working?

-

Caesar: Are we fighting or flirting? Keicho: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Caesar: Your point?

-

Gelato: Do you love Caesar? Keicho: Yeah, I do. Gelato: Santiago! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks! Santiago: We all love Caesar. You should've asked if they were IN love with them. Keicho: I thought that was implied. Santiago: ... Gelato: ... Keicho, looking straight at Santiago: Congrats Gelato, you just won 100 bucks.

-

Caesar: Did it hurt when you fell- Keicho: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Caesar: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Keicho: ... Caesar: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Keicho: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Caesar: I wrote you a poem. Keicho, already crying: You did?

-

Keicho: Is something burning? Caesar, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Keicho: Caesar, the toaster is literally on fire.

-

Caesar: I owe you one. Keicho: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

GIRL I

These turned out pretty cute

I’m shipping my own ocs now

a

#oc content #OC #original character #my posts

[dailyaudiobible]

02/14/2021 DAB Transcript

Exodus 37:1-38:31, Matthew 28:1-20, Psalms 34:11-22, Proverbs 9:9-10

Today is the 14th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian welcome to a brand-new shiny sparkly week out in front of us. And happy St. Valentine's Day. One year ago, one year ago today we were on our way to Israel for our Israel annual pilgrimage and we were passing through Italy, I remember this, just before like these rumors of like this bad virus, they had been kind of swirling around, but they were not starting… starting to actually take hold in earnest, especially in Italy, and then like right after we got out of there to Israel it wasn't just a few days before Italy shut down. And that began because I think��I believe they were the first country, like officially closed down and trying to isolate from the virus. And, so, wow, what…what can happen in a year. Look at what can transpire in a year of time and look what can change in our lives over the course of a year. And, so, let's just remember that these changes are happening day by day step by step, including today. So, happy St. Valentine's Day. We got a brand-new week. We will read from the Common English Bible this week and we will be picking up the story in the book of Exodus. And it feels like we’ve been camping out in Exodus for a while now because we have but we’ll conclude the book of Exodus tomorrow. But that's then and this is now. Today, Exodus chapters 37 and 38.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and for bringing us this far…this far into the year, this this brand-new week that is opening up to us, this St. Valentine's Day where we commemorate and observe love, love in the world, especially the romantic kind of love and we’re grateful for that gift. And we are thankful for the story that we read in the book of Matthew today, the story of the resurrection, the story that has set our hearts on fire but has also set everything into motion, everything that comes next into motion because of Your resurrection. And, so, Father we are…we’re here in the…pretty much the dead center of the month, but we are turning pages and getting ready to move into some new territory. We concluded the gospel of Matthew today, the first of the four Gospels. So, we will move forward into another gospel tomorrow. And we will conclude the book of Exodus tomorrow and begin to move forward from there, the day after that. So, the next couple of days are going to be days of transition for us as we continue to move forward, we invite Your Holy Spirit into this…into this week and everything we do, everything that we think, everything that we say, all of the motives of our hearts, may they be surrendered to You we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if life and light and good news are being spoken into your life and bringing life and direction from the Scriptures, if that makes a difference, if that matters to you then thank you profoundly for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button that looks kinda like a hotline button in the app up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Tiffany from Cleveland and I just want to thank everyone that has prayed for me and my husband Tony for the death of our daughter Jeanna. And I also want to ask that you pray…that I could receive joy again. My joy was lost when my daughter died, and I believe in the Lord and I believe in His peace and I believe that He can give me joy but it's gone, and I desire it. I also want to pray for all those that have lost their children, that their children have died through miscarriage, infant loss, disease, sickness, cancer. It's so hard on us. Our lives are never the same after our children die. I just pray that we could receive peace and joy again in our lives and as we live and learn to live without them. In Jesus’ name.

Hello this is Susan and I'm calling on February the 11th. I just wanted to reply to Jessica from California who spoke today on the…as I was listening to Daily Audio Bible and just to say how much she encouraged me. My father…it was always difficult to communicate with my father. For many years I was not sure why then I found out recently he’s probably on the autistic spectrum. I've also been separated from my husband going on eight years. And, so, a relationship with men is sometimes difficult. I have more male colleagues now at my work and I was just coming home today feeling rather pitiful, discouraged and not sure if I can communicate or compete in the male workplace where more males around me and then come home and look after my children, be strong for all of them. So, thank you so much for the words of encouragement, the words that you say to yourself, thank you God for just the way I am. Thank you God for just the way I am.” And also, the verse in the Bible, I think it's Psalm 139 saying, “we are fearfully and wonderfully made.” So, I just wanted to say thank you Jessica from California for the encouragement you gave me today. Thank you.

Hello everybody my name is Doug from Oklahoma I've been a long-time listener I've just never called in. I have a vaccine schedule tomorrow for Covid and I'm really, really scared. I have bad anxiety and panic attacks and…but I feel like I need to get this vaccine and I would just like your prayers, that nothing goes wrong, I don't have any bad reactions or anything. And, of course, then I'll have to get a second one. So, I love you guys. I…I…I pray for you all too. And I just don't call in very much because I really don't…I'm not a very good talker as you can tell. But anyways your prayers are appreciated for tomorrow. I know the time you hear this the vaccine will be over but, you know, God already knows. So, I thank you all. Doug from Oklahoma. Love you. Bye.

Good evening DABbers my sisters and brothers in Christ this prayer is going to Latasha in California. You spoke of being homeless with your children at one point and just now getting into the housing and afraid that you're going to lose it and be homeless again. I've been homeless before Latasha and I had a young son and I know how scary it is especially when you don't know where you're going to live the next day. Besides if things fall apart you have no safety net. So, Father God I come to You as humble as I know how Father. Father we have a mother right now Father that doesn't know what the situation…how the situation is going to turn out. She's being torn between one person saying one thing and someone expecting another Father God, but I just ask that You put in her heart Father that to stand and feel Your Salvation. God if she stands, she knows where her help will come from. You didn't bring her this far Father for her and her children to be back into the homeless situation. Father, so I ask that You give her strength, give her confidence, give her peace Father, that peace that surpasses all understanding Father that things will be OK. And Latasha, you say you're fearful. God did not give us a spirit of fear but of sound mind. So, just stand and watch his Salvation work this out for you. I look forward to hearing a praise report on how things will work out, not going to, but will. Running Desperately to Jesus. Also known as...

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Renzo from Maryland I just want to say just really appreciate what you guys are doing, just keep encouraging people, just keep getting them closer to the Lord. It's amazing to see everybody, all the age groups, all the different ages young and old. It's crazy just to see what the Lord is doing. And just…just asking for prayers for my family, for my mom my dad and my grandfather. Recently they've…they…they've had Covid but they've been getting better and their quarantines about to be up by the grace of God. I just thank God for you…for you guys prayers. And my mom was starting to feel better. She suffers with complex regional pain syndrome and just chronic pain in every part of her body and the Corona virus really hit her really bad but I'm just glad that she's feeling a little bit better. And I just thank the Lord for everything He's blessed me with. And just please just keep them in prayers. And I just want to pray for any of you guys going through anything. Father God I just thank You for everything You bless us with Lord and just please help us to just get closer and closer to You Lord and I thank You for the Daily Audio Bible family and everything they’re doing to encourage and keep Your name to be known. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. God bless you guys. Have a blessed rest of your day. Jesus loves you. God bless.

Hello DAB family this is your brother Daniel Johnson junior from beautiful Cincinnati OH. Hey, let's pray. Almighty God, You are omniscient all powerful all seeing all knowing and ever…and everywhere omnipresent. God You are so good to all of us and I know that You're working through mankind in all these different ways. I pray for our medical professionals, especially those that are making this vaccine and the distribution of this vaccine, everybody that's in charge of all this. I pray that everybody everywhere can get this vaccine, that Your enemy will be completely defeated as he's looking to tear and seek and skill and destroy…steal, kill, and destroy. I come against the enemy in the name of Jesus Christ and I pray that Your spiritual forces of good, Your spiritual sources Jesus because You’ve achieved…You achieved the complete and total victory, that Your spiritual forces would levy and lay down a serious nuclear style beat down against the enemy to force them back…to…I bind and banish the enemy in the name of Jesus Christ in regard to everything that is related to this coronavirus. May it be according to Your will in Jesus’ name. Amen. Hey God bless you all from beautiful Cincinnati OH this is Daniel Johnson junior. Make it a great day.

[bellafarella]

my shameless 10x10 thoughts

THE PREVIOUSLY ON... EXCUSE YOU SIR, WE DID NOT SEE THAT CAUSE YOU CUT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING GALLAVICH SCENE YOU POS

mickey watching byron “fix” his vespa and then IMMEDIATELY stands to go closer to him when he sees ian ... sir you are not fooling anybody

byron saying his vespa isn’t working, Ian knows why and says “oh weird” had me dead

“THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BYRON” OK SIR, I THINK NOT. also, your eyes twitching was NOT convincing

ian jumping to come to a show that he knows mickey will hate and trying to get back at him saying he’s bringing a date... i love this song

liam fucking kills me i cant with this kid... him giving ian tips on pics to take for grindr, IM DEAD

“NOBODY WANTS TO DATE THE YOUTH PASTOR AT THEIR GRANDMAS CHURCH” GIVE THIS KID ALL THE AWARDS LOL

frank, idc bye go die, he literally has ALL the fucking luck i cannot, it’s so unrealistic

kev and v killed me at the table when they found out about the auction... kev just kept thinking about the movie get out and he’s valid

the patrons and kev seeing cole walk into the bar I DIED, their faces - iconic. even ian was like oh god

debbie is gross af

carl, oh bby this is the mafia

THE CLUB WAS GREAT BUT SO SHORT LIKE SERIOUSLY?!!?!? you give us like 1000 scenes of debbie fucking a mother and daughter like the disgusting porn watching freaks u r but cant give us more than a TWO SECOND kiss between an actual loving relationship? go die

MICKEYS FACE THO WHEN IAN CAME IN WITH COLE IS FUCKING PRICELESS LOL I LOVE NOEL SO MUCH

ian beating up byron for talking smack about mickey, YES KING

mickey “calm down” milkovich 

mickey punching cole once in the face for saying he was gonna do gymnastics or wtv on that dick like NO SIR THAT WILL BE ME

ian telling him he loves him so much and mickey telling him to save the speech, you pussy... SO ON BRAND 

“i’ll marry you. of course i’ll fucking marry you” CHILLS 

CLUB KISS 2.0 but not because it was literally 2 fucking seconds

LIP MOVING TO MILWAUKEE R U FUCKING KIDDING ME but i mean i get it, its literally a free house 

so this means there’s no season 11 am i right???

#that is all #my thoughts #shameless spoilers #shameless season 10 #shameless us #ian x mickey #gallavich #ian gallagher #lip gallagher #debbie gallagher #carl gallagher #liam gallagher #mickey milkovich #kev x v

[pkmnsdarkqueen]

Summary of Karen's interaction with various villains so far.

(something I wrote up during the break, and well after such a warm welcome back thought I’d post it early while I work on replies)

-Mostly tried to paint these in a funny/positive light, but some darker themes mentioned-

Universe it was in at top and another timeline means same with a dif mun.

Under the cut cause long 

Giovanni

Hound!verse

G: *tries to sneak up on to be scary and intimidating*

K: *gets startled and slams her elbow into his nose*

G: "OH! FUCK! BITCH MY NOSE!"

K: "oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck I'm sorry! I mean like I didn't get your throat at least!"

G: "Really!? That's the take away here!?"

 Possession!verse

G: "Guess who just found out about Rocket experiments and a certain person being combined with Ho-oh!"

K: "Hahahaha, I'm in danger."

In another timeline

Main!verse

G: “I have lost everything.....”

K: “So uh thanks for stopping by my bar, you’re in the right place if you’re wanting a do-over tho!”

---------------

Silver

Main!verse

*The two stating at each other*

K: "Yeup.....I'm taking this one under my wing now."

S: “I...You know I’m an adult and you really don’t have to-”

K: “You’re a kid with too good of a heart, and promise to be left figuring out life on your own. Plus this is me offering to help you work smarter than harder.”

In another timeline

Main!verse

S: "Hey mom I need some help with this."

K: "Sure son what's up."

K&S: *Realization smacks them across the face.*

K: "Aunt."

S: "Aunt works, avoids the need to talk about my trauma and the complications of how I've grown to view you."

K: "YEUP! Also helps me not feel the overload of complicated emotions this brings as I flash back to the horrid way I used to treat you when we worked for the Masked Man.”

-----------

Blue

Main!verse  (SAD ONE!)

B: “I the fact you were able to move on from all of the trauma we went through under the hands of the Masked Man.”

K: “I really haven’t fully, but I’m genuinely sorry for my actions which is an apology you’re free to accept whenever you find yourself able to do so. If you’re here to take revenge I’ll let you beat me up within an edge of my life to get it out.”

B: “I don’t want to do that to you because I know it won’t help me. I wasn’t expecting this reaction so.....I guess maybe we try to make this work?”

K: “Ok, and I will put up with you’re numerous overly biting words and painful digs that actively hurt my mental state because I deserve it for everything I did right?”

Everyone: *Slamming their heads against a wall watching Karen try to ‘make right’*

Another timeline

Main!verse

K: “uh hi.”

B: “Go away.”

K: “Yeah that’s fair.”

------------

Archer

Main!verse

Other people: "You're making deals with the devil."

K: "See here's the funny thing about that, both of us have pitch forks. I mean it makes sense though, what else are we going to use to cut the sexual tension."

Archer: “What are you gonna try to do, fix me?”

K: “I can’t fix you, you fix you, but I can be here to offer.”

-----------

Petrel

Main!verse

K&P: "So the funny thing is we vibe checked each other and it turns out we have the same vibe. Now if you'll excuse us we're gonna go shopping for crocs."

--------------

Tabitha

Main!verse

*They go on a date, and then later*

T: "I don't think we have good chemistry."

K: "Oh thank the gods you feel it too, friends tho?"

T: "Girl 100% friends!"

---------------

Cyrus

Possession!verse

C: "So yeah I have a centipede dragon in my head that can make me do things I don't want to do mostly revolving around being social."

K: "Cool. I have a fire bird in mine that judges my every decision and is really condescending."

C: "As one does."

K: ".......so....friends?"

Giratina: "PLEASE!"

Ho-oh: "Please no."

------------------

N

Main!verse

Bruno: "I have adopted someone."

N: "I am an adult."

K: "Ah another lost child who is by age an adult."

N: "......How often does this happen?"

---------------------

Ghetsis

Main!verse

G: *Tries to murder her, kills one of her pokemon, and hospitalizes her parents.*

K: "Oh golly gee! MY THIRST FOR MURDEE HAS RETURNED AND IT HAS A NAME!"

Everyone: "Karen he has Kygurem."

K: *cocking a gun.* "I WAS TRAINED ON THE ICE AND WILL NOW RELISH IN STAINING IT RED ONCE MORE!"

-------------

Lysandre

Main!verse

K: "Like I'm gonna fall for some skyscraper, spikey haired-"

L: *Does numerous romantic things that just hit right.*

K: ".....I dont know how it happened but uh I've fallen for him and now literally on him and I am too frozen in embarrassment to get up."

L: *Him retelling this as their 'how I met your mother story'

In an alternate timeline

Main!verse

L: "Please just leave me to die."

K and Will: "Ha.....no."

--------------------

Malva

Main!verse

M: "Ur an ugly hoe."

K: "And you're just mad your man left you for me."

M: *Fucking livid*

Later

M: "You're a bitch."

K: "Takes one to know one."

M: ".....you know what I'm done losing, friends?"

K: "......ye sure."

And then they proceeded to actually become good friends and tore up the town together.

-----------

Lusamine

Main!verse

L: "Hi there I'm-"

K: "My mom issues personified?"

--------------

Guzma

Main!verse

G: *Busts open Po town door.* "I HAVE MADE A NEW FRIEND!"

K: "Sup, fellow fuck ups of society I'm here to join in on the reformed screw up shenigans."

G: "And we're gonna start by breaking things to get emotions out."

----------------

Faba

Main!verse

F: "Hi I'm a genius."

K: "No more like an arrogant prick, but you didn't hear me say that."

F: ".....I've decided I don't like you."

K: "Did you're genius just figure out I feel the same?"

----------------

Rose

Main!verse

K: *staring*

R: "What?"

K: "You don't pass the vibe check and I can't figure out why.

#(might tag people but kinda debating) #(also keep in mind this is spanning my entire time in here so like alot of these may not be familiar) #(also idk how she's managed to not interact with a maxie or archie this entire time but here are) #interaction summary

[lemonskittlesofficial]

literally my entire vocabulary:

y’all

coward

yeet

according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is-------------------------------

impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did comeback different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? -Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, weconstantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing anew helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have ourlatest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honeythat hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course.Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The samejob the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to knowthat bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us todeath? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! \"What's the difference?\" How can you saythat? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we onlyhave to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Whywould you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society onEarth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me oneexample. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. RoyalNectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! -Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, butsome don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You'resky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned.Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to bea Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I willsee in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you'rewearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It mustbe dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! Hehad a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thoughtI'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I canautograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hittinga sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate.What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well,there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same jobevery day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move itaround, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know,Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinkingof what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son'snot sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to befunny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be astirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything rightnow. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll piercemy thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and calleverybody \"dawg\"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! Allthe good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk,hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes,sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh,my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chanceof getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey'salways open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes anopening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead fromthe neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stuntbee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mitewrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflowerpatch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out?Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You'regonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's aKorean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid wesaw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got arain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always,watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! -That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking tohumans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind,check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scaredout of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel sofast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It'sgot a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pickup some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power.More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot ofbright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of theseflowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative.That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. Itsmells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a littlegrabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could bebad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position,rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tellhim? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, becauseyou're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! -Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won'tsting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tensionlevel out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly inrain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken,could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-outbrochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that?Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It'sfantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one?Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believewhat I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergicto them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does hislife have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value.You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm notscared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face couldpuff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right.Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. -You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta saysomething. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would Isay? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. Ican't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.How should I start it? \"You like jazz?\" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi!I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'mdreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit ofa surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but theywere all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee istalking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to dothat? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. \"Mama, Dada, honey.\" You pick itup. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we haveto deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... Idon't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's justcoffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you wantrum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couplemicrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you knowanything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flyingup Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.And he says, \"Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry awatermelon?\" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what areyou gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can'tdo it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to bea lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Ournew queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There'smy hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way!I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah.Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...?Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well,then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... forbefore. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work.He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It wasamazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you werewith humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some ofthem. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. Yousaw whatever you wanted to see. You had your \"experience.\" Now you can pick out yourjoband be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?!Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. Iknow it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she?She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're notdating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with powerwashers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understandsme. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was sostingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You knowwhat a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sitdown! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes,but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen tome! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You knowwhat your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It'sbeen three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make alittle honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry,I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be toolong. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respondto yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I'vegotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide?Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded byflowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. Allright, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you runeverywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze liveTV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horribledisease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It'susually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take awalk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy,lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's notbothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much ourlimit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. Whatin the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, RayLiotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people.We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Beesmake it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. Youneed a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?!Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting tothe bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, Iguess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted,box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking!Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought wewere friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir,have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is thehoney coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person!What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. Andnow they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead?They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am ontosomething huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'mgoing to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - Awiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everythinghave to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't killno more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tinyscreaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as faras the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. Imean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Notus, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You amosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! Atleast you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with amoth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me!Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'dcatch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one youwant. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine,all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and wemake the money. \"They make the honey, and we make the money\"? Oh, my! What's goingon? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fakewalls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man inwomen's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Beehoney. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anythingbears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These areobviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. -What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry!We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket oncein San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do withyour life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I rememberyou coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I rememberthat. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lipbalm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where itreally hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There'sonly one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive'sonly full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'mBob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue thehuman race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrownight on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing theirnew book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.Did you ever think, \"I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this\"? Bees have never been afraid tochange the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'dnever sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The beecommunity is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know,they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He lookslike you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes onthe bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They'rescary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. Intennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, herbackhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work goingon here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. -Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, Ibelieve. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. Butit's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two havebeen at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How manysugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees havegood qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are givingballoon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those justget me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate thosefake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through withit? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, \"Honey, I'm home,\"without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where theworld anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if ahoneybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? Ican't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollarmultinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind thebarricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team.You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oasenumber 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now insession. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? Aprivilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, YourHonor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladiesand gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, shebelieved it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. Ifwe lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. Iwould have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How dowe know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? Theycould be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could beon steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinarybee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it.And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who thinkthey can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'llsee how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! Iwish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. KlaussVanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - Icouldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, itseems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're verylovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees!How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spittingout your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for beinghere. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called ThePolice. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. Andso here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothingmore than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not hisreal name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guestspot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishlyhandsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don'thave to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and wecan all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr.Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think thejury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to agreat team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, Iwas just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I calledBarry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah,heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the gamemyself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was lookingat your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We havethat in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking thecrud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for hisfuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look atthat. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - ItalianVogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think somethingstinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much.Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues!Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl isgnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don'teven like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are thereother bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one ofthem! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotionalroller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! Ialways felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh,well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would liketo call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's consideredone of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it'sgonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remindthem of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only tolosing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. Whatexactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good?Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a beedocumentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the beechildren? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Holdme back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'alldate your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what hewants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursingthrough my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can'ttreat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's theirway! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward tosuck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order,please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against thebees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. -Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. Whatmatters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got itfrom the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. Whatwas it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and thenecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. Whatwere we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humansdo to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound sobad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to closethat window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don'tsmoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed.I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. Andassuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, YourHonor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to flyhaphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny storyabout... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuabletime? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They havepresented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who runlegitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'mafraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have aterrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it,Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a beesmoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, \"Smoking or non?\" Is thiswhat nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-madewooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What arewe gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free thesebees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The courtfinds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK!You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who areyou wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand acomplete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours tobegin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anythingmore than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in thewoods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stagename! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr.Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need toshut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop makinghoney! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production!Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn'tbelieve how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? -Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleepingin. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got ourhoney back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's thegreatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. Thiswas my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand whythey're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What didyou want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my.They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is?You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing tomake honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all needbees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animalkingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it couldall just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact?How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen,Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa?Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade inPasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the lastchance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn outlike this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses.Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees,pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down?Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault.Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made itworse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But Ihave another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it!All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flowerbud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. -Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security willbe tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am.Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about ThePrincess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. -Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under themattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! Thiswhole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then allwe do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's nostopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in yourpossession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part ofme. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enoughpollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to dothe job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott.We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talkto them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? -Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'man attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This isyour captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And pleasehurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One'sbald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one'sflying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Notgood. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who'sthat? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than abig metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't JohnTravolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspensefulscene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting toland a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! Wehave a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flightexperience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson andhis no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope?Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heardthis a million times? \"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.\" - Get thison the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you.Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a smalljob. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone.That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not madeof Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover?- Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, Ithink we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And nowwe're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move itout! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of theplane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa,pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - Yousnap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don'tknow. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! Theydo get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on theblacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. Yougot to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinkingbee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinkingbee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinkingbee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in onbee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower!Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - Thatflower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giantpulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. -This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is thisplane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Fullreverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry,it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw theflower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway iscovered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That meansthis is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress likethis. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we goingto be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then followme! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! Andit's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees areback! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working latetonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you likesome honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'msorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry,everyone. Can we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 7

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 181: Typing on day 182. I received an email from someone at DSM who had got my CV from Helen Proctor (she was the manager that interviewed me along with the founder) and wants me to interview for a IT business consultant role for a shoe firm (Loakes) in Kettering. I called the chap and had a quick chat and arranged it for Wednesday.

A few beers, as it’s Friday, and caught up via video chat with Foggy and Irish Mike (Foggy’s on quarantine having holidayed in the south of France). It was a late one and they were both pissed, but nice to chat. Andy and Ham were meant to join but were no shows - Ham had his sister’s funeral this week - might explain it.

Day 182: I messaged Ham - he went round his folk’s house after work last night as his two sisters were there. I have to admit, I am ignorant of all of Ham’s brothers and Sisters so he may well have meant one was Preaya in an urn.

Someone on the Oundle Chatter FB group asked about Google Hangouts (on behalf of her son who is attending college and they have online classes using it. I am now about to look into it for her. Why did I get involved. It’s 8pm on a Saturday, ffs!

Update, I researched it and messaged her - seems I hit a nail on the head and she seemed suitably grateful. Booze and pizza coming right up (at 9:15pm)

Day 183: Up at just before 2pm - I drank shed loads last night and went to bed after 4am. Faffed about but did manage my stair climb, a 10km walk and I am now making a roast dinner-ish tea (chicken breast stuffed with red leicester and wrapped in bacon) with all the veg and yorkies (I am trying to empty the freezer as it needs defrosting).

Day 184: I posted on FB that today was half a leap year of lockdown (that’s wrong, should have been yesterday). Rachel replied that it isn’t lockdown anymore. I replied that it is for me but that got me thinking - are we officially in lockdown still? Checked, and we are. Posted that on the same thread and Badger replied that the current level of lockdown has been uprated to level 4, whatever that actually means. Rachel’s post worries me - 1. ‘cos it’s indictative of the far-too-relaxed attitude and, 2. I wasn’t even sure even though I’m still observing the same lockdown behaviour that I was before Boris made his announce on March 23rd. Scary how facts bleed into fiction. 

Jim contacted me today, asked me to call. I did so, he says I’ll be asked to return to work (from home) on the 5th October (two weeks). Shirley from HR will be in contact. I’ll believe when I see the email from her! 

Day 185: Boris announced a tightening of the relaxed lockdown including pubs shutting at 10pm. None of it really affects me since I’m still in as full a lockdown as when it started.

Received an email from John Morton at DSM for an interview at Loakes tomorrow (Wed) at 09:30am.

Received a Facebook message from the editor at Oundle Chronicle - he wants to do a short article about the photos I take and post on the Oundle Chatter fb group.

Day 186: Interview went ok.

Called Dad and Rita to let them know that I received an email from RCI confirming that I will be back at work on the 5th of October.

In the evening, Facebook had posts concerning somebody walking round Creed Road with a knife in his hand, and the police getting involved!

Day 187: Spend spend spend. Paid my speeding fine today £357, my water bill £147, bought two new duvet cover sets and two new sheets £58, a new pair of walking boots (my relatively new Hi-Tec are leaking and falling apart) £75. Oh, and the car insurance renews day after tomorrow, £230. Thank fucking fuck I’m being taken off furlough!

Day 188: Friday and I’m going to have a few beers and watch a couple of films.  I’ve been trawling through Seinfeld and am most the way through S3, and it’s brilliant. The Kramer character is mentally good. One episode had the actress who played Janice in Friends - that episode is a classic - which also included an scene whereby the cast are all exclaiming ‘Saturday night’ similar to the Friends TikTok trend. Got a call this morning about a service delivery lead role for EPM, a education service provider, based in Huntingdon. It’s a good role, very involved, reporting directly to the head of IT. But it’s only £32k pa. I replied to the email the recruiter subsequently sent to say I am interested but that salary is less than £5k pa than I am on now as a 2nd line support techie!  Lastly, I am well on my way to doing 500,000 steps in September!

Day 189: I was woken by the doorbell - a delivery of one of the duvet cover sets. On the door mat was a missed parcel delivery note from Ryal Mail (I have to get whatever it is from Warmington PO) and a note from next door (No. 34) asking for me to turn my music down at 10.30pm. That’s fair enough but....10.30pm! What are they, 80 years old? I have felt low today. There is no rhyme nor reason as to my moods suffice to say I am not of the happiest dispostion on a permanent basis, resigned to being alone. In fact, I have come to terms with the fact I’ll die alone but, it seems, some days I cope with it a lot worse than others. On that cheery note, it’s 8.45 pm on a Saturday night so, I am about to launch into some beers, weed and pizza. I think tonight I’ll seek out the second John Wick film - watch the first last night - so fucking good. You gotta love Keanu!

Day 190: Hopefully the last Sunday of having an enforced no-work-on-Monday so I’m going to have a beer or two (it’s now 8:20pm - just cracked open a Bud), watch American Sniper and eat Chilli and naan bread and onion rings. I did a 12 km walk today - I recall a time when 40-45 minuts walking was enough. Today’s walk was 2 hours! I know it’s only walking but I feel fitter than I have for years; still unfit, but fitter. Day 191: Well, I enjoyed the decadence of boozing last night but it meant getting up at after midday! Still managed two walks, trip to Tesco’s in Hampton after picking up the mystery parcel from Warmington PO. It was two unknown bottles of beer for a marketing campaign I entered a few days ago! I have to not open the beers until I receive instruction whereby I’ll be joining in with other drinkers in video chat! Day 192: Smahed 500k steps for September with one day to go! Cleaned the kitchen - I’m going to do the whole house over the next few days while I have the free time since I’m back to work on Monday.  The lad from next door called round this eveing to ask if I got the note. When I said yes, he told me they (he and his partner) can still hear music. FFS! I asked where their bedroom was, it’s along side mine, so I guess it’s the TV sound that is travelling up and disturbing them. Great, fuck knows what I should do if I want to watch anything after 10:30pm. I suppose going back to work is good timing..I shall be going to bed around that time myself, especially if I want to get up early to get a walk in before starting at 09.00 am.

Day 193: Typing on day 194. Only managed one walk today, before 9.00am. It made a great change walking that early. I then set about doing housework (which I started yesterday) - I want to clean the house from top to bottom before going back to work. i.e. while I have time during the working week. I did the Kitchen yesterday and the whole lounge today. It’s fucking knackering. I managed 519k steps in September, works out at 9.6 miles per day, which is good and, also, annoying. I have taken delivery and laundered all my new bedding. It’s brushed cotton lushness, can’t wait to try it. Last ‘happy hour’ of (this current) furlough, so I had beers (and a fucking spicey sausage casserole)...hence penning this a day late.

Day 194: I didn’t get out of bed until nearly 2pm, FFS. Spome with Ricky Roberts about kayaking, it sound sliek something I could take up but, I would need to join the boat club to have somewhere to get in and out!

Day 195: Sueanne from work called to let me know she’s taking over from Jim ‘til new yer and that the team are looking forward to my return - lovely. Dad called, he and Rita are fine as usual - lovely.

Day 196: Got up fater 2pm. I was seriously fucking wasted last night. Had a video chat with Fog - just checked, it ended at 02.04am and I did a lot more drinking and smoking after that. I still managed a 9.7km walk and am now going to settle down to a few (just a few!) beers, shepherds pie and watch Casino. Day 197: Quiet Sunday with some bizarre results in Super Sunday in the prem. Man U lost at home to Spurs 1-6 and Liverpool were thrashed at Villa Park, 7-2. Work tomorrow, feeling a little apprehensive, not sure why. Got to go to the office (to reset password) at 09.00am

Day 198: Back to work. It went OK. I had to go to the office so that my a/c could be enabled and password reset and t get VPN working. There were a few problems but I was back home and logged in OK in the afternoon. Saw Mark in the office - he’s lost weight and was telling me about a cycling accident - I knew about it, but I didn’t realise he had been in hospital and had a plate put in his shoulder. He also has the exact same issue with codeine as me! I am pleased to be back at work but it’s different - no Jim and Sueanne in charge is the main thing. I’m just going to keep my head down; it’ll be for the best.

Day 199: Second day back at work and I’m (trying to) crack on with it. It’s all coming back... New walking boots arrived today (I have them on as I type); I reckon I’ll be OK to walk in them with no breaking in. That’s just as well as my evening walk took me by the marina and the path between the lock, the small bridge and, especially, the larger bridge into the field at the bottom of Basset Ford Road was flooded, no way my boots will be dry for tomorrow.  I did my stair climb before work, 3.5 km walk at lunchtime and then a long, second one, as mentioned, later. I want to try and do a short walk before work in future, hopefully. On the way back from the lunchtime walk, I saw the lad from next door who thanked for me keeping the music down as per the note he left, so, that’s all good.

Day 200: I’ve started a work diary,  à la ENDC....nowhere as urgently required but I just think it’s a good idea.

I wore my new boots for the lunchtime walk (3.6km) and they’re fine. However, I didn’t use them in the evening, they niggled the left foot a bit, so some breaking in is required. My usual ones were just about dry enough having been sat on the radiator! Day 201: Popped into the office today to pick up my full headset dongle, did a quick shop at Asda. So, only one walk today. I have not yet managed to get a walk in before work, just the stair climb, so missed out on a lunchtime walk today since I was shopping. Did 8.5km in the evening. Bought a card online for K’s birthday. Not sure why, we seem not to be communicating - I haven’t heard from her for over a month now which, as mentioned before, I shouldn’t find as hard as I do. The card’s pretty cool though, a quip about just getting a card as a present would involve non-essential travel. Now I am back at work, I want a to do loist app. I recall a smart one that was a linear/curved affair that I saw on Producthunt but, fuck me, I couldn’t find it after over an hour looking. Then I checked Google apps and there it was (Lightpad.ai) - I was chuffed and relieved. The lad from oundle School has been trying to get hold of me via Messenger (he tells me by email) so he can interview for the article in the Chronicle. He has pencilled in Saturday at 6pm.Fuck knows if it will go ahead, the whole thing is sketchy. Day 202: First week back at work over and done. I ordered some stuff from Amazon (slippers and socks) and they offered a free trial of Prime, which is the norm, but, seeing as I have had a free trial under that a/c, I assumed it would error, as I have seen before. This time it didn’t! So, tonight, I just about to have some beers, eat pizza and watch The Gentlemen,. It was suggested by Miles on FB when I asked for  recommendations. It’s been on my to-watch list since its release. I need some cheering up, I’m having a low ebb today.Day 203: Typing on day 204. The Gentlemen was pretty good. I had lots of beers and smoke and went to bed fucking late, gone 4am. Up at lunchtime. I was meant to be going up Foggy’s for a few beers and to listen to Cobblers vs Posh but I sacked that off. I went for a walk at tea time when it got dark fucking quick and pissed down. I didn’t mind ‘cos Posh won 0-2. I watched two films in the evening: Master and Commander: Far Side of the World and Official Secrets. Both excellent. Day 204: Another late night, so up at just before 2pm. 12.64 km walk! I’m going to make stirfry and watch Knives Out...taking advantage of Amazon Prime.Day 205: I didn’t watch Knives Out last night, Amazon Prime was playing up. Tonight, however, after uninstalling and reinstalling the LG app, it’s working again. But, rather than a film, I have started watching The Boys series. 3/4 through the first episode and I’m kinda hooked. Another long walk tonight (I didn’t go out before work or at lunchtime), over 5 miles. My new boots are a marvel...they’re still new - I can tell I’ve got a little bit of wearing in still to do, but, pretty much from the off, I can walk long distances in them. I’m impressed. I think, because they are so light, they may be susceptible to the cold, especially now I can walk for longer periods without hypo-ing. The snow and frost will be the test.Day 206: Bit of a frustrating day at work. I am pleased I have a diary of events to update, that’s all I will say on this potentially public diary. Had a chat with Mark about certain aspects of the day, it was a good chat whereby he agreed with some of my gripes. In the evening I took part in a Ipsos marketing test of two beers with a whole bunch of people online. Ultimately, you have to choose one of two beers you prefer and answer questions why. It’s then revelaed which beer you chose. The beer I iked best was Stella but 4.6%, I think that’s the next product iine for them. You don’t get to find out the other beer. I shoudl recieve a £15 amazon voucher for partaking. If that actually happens, I’m going to buy a pair of gaiters. My new boots are fab (although I did turn my ankle last night) but their insides don’t half attract gravel and debris.Day 207: A productive day incorporating ToDoist with work and GCal, I have sacked off Lightpad.ai (it was too cumbersome moving tasks between dates) - so I managed to tick a few things off the task list as a result (responding to Jo Broom’s voicemail, chasing an eye appointmen, for example). Tim came round and did the garden, nice chinwag. I saw little Derek the other day, as well, he’s not coping great with the whole pandemic atm, certainly now lockdown has relaxed, he’s not as social as before. Day 208: Had a chat with Sueanne today, which is not unusal, and I was asking about creating KBs...she remarked how well, and quickly, I getting up to speed. It pleased me. I am having battered fishcakes, potato wedges and peas for tea. I am looking forward to it the most ridiculous amount (it’s cooking as I type). I shall eat as I watch more of the rather excellent The Boys. Seinfeld is on the back burner atm. Day 209: Emily Folgate’s room mate at uni has tested positive for Covid19! Marc’s avoiding the pub and I am glad I didn’t pop up there last Saturday! Bumped into Ash and Dee when i walked past the vets, chatted for 5 mins, it was really nice to see them. The lady next door (38) stopped me outside to say she recently realised that it was me who posts photos to FB, and said they’re ‘amazing’! End of week 2 back at work. As I type, I’m on my first beer, about to have many more and a smoke, half way through The Trial of the Chicago 7 on Netflix. Living the dream! Day 210: Things got messy last night. Sugar levels were a mess. I couldn’t even make it upstairs at one point, laid down on the long rug nursing a big bottle of coke. Got up at around 1pm and did usual shit, now having a beer, spicy sausage casserole in the oven (and it is fucking spicy) and I’ll pick a film to watch in a bit. Posh won, 2-0 at home to Oxford, up to 4th, one point behind Lincoln.

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #covid19 #lockdownuk

[epicsmol101]

Slendytubbies A Story Rewritten Official Story Chapter 1!! (part 1)

Warning!! Please DO NOT copy, claim, or use anything used in this without permission please!!  Po was peacefully walking through the paths of main land, the summer breeze was refreshing to the hot crisp sunlight. Po was always enjoying her peaceful yet super positive and bubbly walks, or even a nice little ride on her scooter. She was the most positive out of all the main four, being ever so sweet and chipper she never failed to lighten someone's day. Today she was heading home from the beach to get a bite to eat, her feet made soft pitter-patter as she skipped on the stones and dirt of the pathways, a soft hum of a warm tune escaped her lips and she began to sing making her start to dance around as she skipped. Meanwhile at the house Noo-Noo was doing his usual job and cleaning up, Tinky was outside with Laa-Laa trying to make her feel better but to no avail. Dipsy was being a lazy butt and sleeping on the slide boredly. Tinky Winky sighed “Come on Laa-Laa, how about we play pass?” Laa-Laa looked up at Tinky and rubbed her eyes softly “Sorry but no thank you. I’d much rather have some alone time ok.” Tinky patted Laa-Laa’s head and smiled “Alright! Well when you want some company let me know!” Tinky Winky was very kind and gentle for his height of 10’ tall, he was a tall teddy bear. He also was more leaderlike compared to the others. Laa-Laa was quieter than the rest, she was sweet and caring, but she was always anxious of a lot of things and recently has been having a lack of sleep due to horrible nightmares. Dipsy is pretty lazy, he tends to sleep a lot if not than he usually is trying to play games with everyone or eat. Noo-Noo did not show too much, he is basically the father of them all and doesn't really talk much at all unless it's needed. Tinky heard Po skipping around casually and glanced over. He saw Po and smile happily “Hey Po!! Welcome home!!” Po ran up to Tinky and hugged him happily “Hiya Tinky!!” Tinky had lifted Po into the air with a little spin than hugged her happily “I'm so glad you are home! This is the perfect time!” He gently placed her down and looked at Laa-Laa “Laa-Laa here has been having some issues being up in the sparkles. Could you help?” Po looked at Tinky smiling “You can count on me”, Po happily skipped over to Laa-Laa and leaned forward smiling dorkishly “Hey Laaaa-Laaaaaaa!!!” Laa-Laa looked up as she was teared up “Yes Po?” “Want to tell me whats wrong?” Laa-Laa glanced away “Nightmares..” Po immediately hugged Laa-Laa and held her close “Aww Laa-Laa. What was this nightmare about? Maybe I can help you change it to good!” Laa-Laa sighed, “Can we talk about it somewhere else?” “Of course!” Po chipperly replied than grabbed Laa-Laa’s hand than got up, she took Laa-Laa for a walk to talk alone with her. She didn't want anyone peeping in on the convo and wanted Laa-Laa to be as comfortable as possible. After they got far enough away from the group Po simply asked "So, What happened in that nightmare?" Laa-Laa looked up at the sky "Well.. It started with me in darkness, nobody was around and  the floor had black and white tiles. A path was lit by a strange light and when I got out of the light it was pitch black, no light shined into it and even if it was one finger in the darkness voices swirled around my head saying these horrid things. Eventually after what felt like hours of walking and yelling out I saw Dipsy, except he was on the ground.." She nervously choked down her fear "dead, I heard something behind me so I ran, as I ran I didn't look behind me but on the path I kept seeing all these bodies of us dead and laying on the ground. Soon enough I had to stop of course, but when I did I heard a thud behind me. As I turned around I saw myself as this big monster. A black and white tubby that was like the darkness around me came out from behind 'me' and simply told me that what I saw was going to happen and we were all going to die" Laa-Laa teared up and rubbed her eyes. Po hugged her and made sure she felt better "Im sure it wouldn't happen that nightmare was just being mean! I'll kick it's scary butt tonight ok!" Laa-Laa made a soft smile "thanks Po" ~Meanwhile~ Tinky Winky went up to Dipsy who was laid back on the slide sleeping as always. Tinky got an idea and picked up Dipsy throwing him over his shoulder, since Tinky was the tallest it was always hard to get down when he picks someone up "ugh… wha- huh!!! Tinky put me down!!" Dipsy squirmed and Tinky chuckled "Promise you will stay awake?" He asked smugly "Ok Ok I promise, I promise just put me down!!!" Dipsy replied and started laughing. Tinky placed Dipsy down with a warm smile "Now how long do you think the girls will be gone?" Dipsy shrugged "Not sure but man am I hungry. Sadly the custard machine broke again and Po isn't here to fix it" Tinky sighed "same here bro, but don't worry!" Tinky put his arm on Dipsys shoulder "They are just out so Po can cheer up Laa-Laa so i'm sure they will return soon!" Dipsy smiled "mhm" As they talked Noo-Noo drove out "I'm going to find the girls, stay here. Don't cause trouble while i'm gone." "You can count on me Noo-Noo!!" Tinky replied with a happy smile "thank you Tinky Winky" Everything was boring and still until the girls returned, LaaLaa looked down still but she also looked like she felt a little better. Tinky happily lifted his arms in the air and cheered "YAY" Po smiled and giggled seeing Tinky's silliness "so Noo-Noo told me that the custard machine is broken again?" Po asked curious, Both Tinky and Dipsy nodded. Po sighed softly "Who broke it?" both of the boys got a little nervous and looked at eachother. "well you see, me and Dipsy were playing tag in the house when Dipsy ran into the machine.." Tinky replied "oh, okie dokie! Just don't play tag in the house again!" Po replied happily as she ran to get her toolbox Once she did Po immediately started to work on the machine, She didn't rush because she knew it was either done right or rushed and not done right. Meanwhile LaaLaa sat beside Dipsy who was hugging her gently not really talking to her just being a quiet little cuddle buddy to help her feel better. Tinky was having a small chat with Dipsy about small things, literally. "There's plenty of small things in this world, like small rocks, fish, sticks, leaves-" Tinky said before Dipsy added in "Po." The two boys and Po had a small laugh at the joke. Po didn't mind being small, she was small but mighty and she knew it. Dipsy looked at LaaLaa before softly sighing, he patted her head gently "Hey LaaLaa." Dipsy finally spoke out "hm?" LaaLaa glanced up at the green floof "What kind of food is the suns favourite?" LaaLaa sat up "hmm.. Not sure." Dipsy smirked "I don't know either because its always burnt!" LaaLaa took a moment to process before she made a soft laugh. Tinky looked surprised "You got LaaLaa to laugh! Good job man!" Dipsy smugly looked at Tinky "its the puns man, she always finds them funny." Luckily it didn't take as long as expected for Po to finish her work, she turned on the power of the machine, Dipsy and Tinky's ears twitched as they smiled of anticipation. LaaLaa was quiet and thinking quietly as the others began to chit chat, NooNoo had suddenly disappeared but that was normal for him. "So once we are done eating what should we all do?" Tinky asked curiously "I think we should go to the beach! It looks so pretty today!" Po replied with a hyper smile with Dipsy adding "Ooh! We could play pirates!" Po started to have the machine make the custard, first Tinky Winky who is her best friend and the oldest, than Dipsy because he was the second oldest and usually got impatient if he didn't get his second, Po than went to LaaLaa and held a custard out to her "here! It might help you feel better!" LaaLaa looked at the custard silently then looked away "sorry but im not really hungry.." Po replied softly "Oh. That's okay as long as you eat later!" she than ate the custard which LaaLaa didn't eat. ~Meanwhile~ Deep below the ground in a secret area of main land a all white furred tubby was sitting at his desk boredly. He grumbled as the hat on his head fell over his one eye, this hat was Dipsy’s which this white tubby took when it got too close to the lair. What's this tubbys job? Well he is known as the Guardian, his job is to watch over the main four. Though he really hates that he can’t be near them and talk to them, he knows everything about each tubby even to the point where he has a binder with notes of each one. "UGH I hate this!" He sat up from his face on the desk "This is so boring, besides I want them to meet me but nooooo its always 'you must never go near any of the main four at any cost. They can’t know about the outside' at the end he mimicked someone. This Concludes Part 1 

#slendytubbies #AStoryRewritten

[hyphypmic]

Jakurai ft. Stairs

The thing is, you are a complete klutz. You cannot climb the stairs if your life depended on it. You and Po from Kung Fu Panda are actual soulmates, except you do recognise the need to take the stairs so that you won’t look like a panda.

On this particular day though, you were already late to work, but you forgot your ID upstairs. You, the one who hates stairs the most, had to run up in your heels and skirt which causes you to be extra slow on the stairs. But you had to do it anyway, it was strictly, no ID, no entry. It was alright though if you were late this once, it wasn’t like you already collected too many lates… oh.

You sprinted up the stairs, not minding who you bumped into and what profanity flew out of your mouth. But you, being a complete mess, tripped. You were 100% sure that you were going to face plant and that you’re going to show up to the pristine office with messy hair, a limp and a terrible bruise, but someone caught you and stopped your fall.

You looked up and your heart stopped. It was the doctor who lived on your floor. You barely see him, considering that he is a doctor and the leader of Matenrou, the recent winner of the division battle.

You never really realized how…. Attractive he is up close. His long purple hair was touching the floor because he had to catch you, his white coat pristine (along with all his other clothes) and his eyes… well, you were lost.

“Are you ok?” Jakurai Jinguji asked.

“Um… I… eh….” You couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t because he was helping you, it was because you ran up the stairs and you haven’t actually taken a breath since he caught you. You took a deep breath.

“Sit down.” Jakurai said and you and him sat down on the step. “Just breathe. I’ll go get you water.”

You felt so shy, but you couldn’t find the breath to say no. Jakurai came back with a bottle of water and you took it from him, sipping slowly. After a bit, you finally caught your breath. “Thank you.” You replied with a blush. “I’m sorry… this is quite embarrassing.”

“It’s alright. As a doctor, I like to help people.” He sighed. “I also have to take the stairs because I need to have physical activity. I don’t have time to go to the gym, so this will have to do.” He glanced at the watch on your hand as if taking note of how long this encounter took.

You glanced at it also and held back a shriek. “Erm… I guess I’m really late now. I should run and get my ID-”

“Oh?” Jakurai rummaged around in his coat pocket. “I forgot.” You almost fainted when he pulled out an ID from his coat pocket. “This is yours isn’t it?”

You took it from him and immediately hung it on your neck. “Thank you! Where did you find it?”

“It was on the steps. You must have dropped it-“

You hugged him out of impulse and then let go immediately. “Ah! Sorry! Sorry!”

Jakurai chuckled. “You don’t have to say sorry. I would know how important an ID is. I cannot enter the hospital without it.” He helped you stand up. “I’ll walk you down then we can go our separate ways.”

“Oh…” You felt a little disappointed, after all, it wasn’t like everyday you get to spend time with the Jakurai. You walked with him downstairs and he patted his coat. He sighed. “I believe I have also forgotten my ID. I need to get it.” He turned to you. “Well, you should be going.”

You shuffled your feet and clutched your bag. “I should… yeah.”

“Do you want to meet sometime?” He asked. His cheeks coloured a slight pink. “Dinner? Maybe tonight?”

“Um… sure!” Your voice went up several octaves.

“I’ll get you from your apartment.”

“Great!” You said, your face beet red. “Bye! Goodbye!” You backed up and started on a jog. If you were lucky and didn’t die from a heart attack, you were going to make it… maybe just an hour late. You moved faster and prayed harder.

Jakurai on the other hand, went back upstairs slowly, knowing that his shift didn’t start until five hours later.

#jakurai jinguji #oc #fanfiction #hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosismic #hypnosismicrophone #hypnosis microphone #stairs #jakurai x reader #fluff