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nat-ter · 3 months
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Bruce had never met Superman face to face but he still hated the alien and thought of him as a threat and he was convinced his boys did too— except his kids are traitors. They each met Superman individually and found him really friendly and nice. At first, they were all hiding the fact that they were friends with Superman from each other, and especially from Bruce. So while Bruce was obsessed with coming up with contingency plan after contingency plan to take down Superman— even though he didn't try to kill the alien yet since Superman was still doing good for the people and Bruce couldn't just attack someone who hadn't done any wrong yet— the kids were making excuses to go meet Superman in secret and Bruce just went on oblivious to the fact that his kids are backstabbing demons.
Of course they lied to Superman too, about Batman's opinions of the Man of Steel, and the various plans he had made to kill said man. They always came up with reason after reason why Superman shouldn't or couldn't meet Batman, sometimes it's getting so ridiculous they were sure even Superman would call their buff. But sweet, ol' Kal never did.
Eventually, they found out that none of them held a grudge against Superman like Batman did, so they all teamed up together and cover for each other whenever one of them spend time with Superman, or cover the fact that Superman came to Gotham one too many time than he should. And it was the one thing that all of them could work together on without fighting or insulting each other. At one point, to keep their secret friendship with Superman, Dick even went so far to wear Batman's costume and meet Superman as Batman because Superman had wanted to meet Batman really bad and they were running dry on why Batman couldn't make time to meet the neighboring hero, and it wasn't like they could just ask Bruce to meet him considering the large collection of Kryptonite in the Cave. And they didn't exactly want their mentor to find out they had went behind his back and formed a friendship with who he swore was his mortal enemy (B's dramatic like that).
They tried to broach the subject of partnership with Superman to Bruce once in a while, of course, but every single time they were either shot down immediately and called ridiculous for even thinking about it or they had to sit through a dramatic monologue about how Superman couldn't be trusted and why they should stay away from him.
But Superman could fly and had superspeed so of course they couldn't stop him if he were to randomly come to Gotham and speak with Batman as if they were friends. Which was what exactly happened. Dick, as Batman, had warned Superman to never, ever come to Gotham without prior notice and to make sure no one notice his presence while he was in the city ("but you can totally see my kids. I'm cool with that." "Oh? Thanks, Batman. But... you know you sound younger than I thought you would." "Uh... yeah, I. Ehem. I'm very in touch with the modern lingo."), and Superman had readily agreed citing about respecting each other's boundaries and all, so the kids thought they were in the clear. But of course, there would be an emergency when even Superman wouldn't have the time to page first before coming right into Batman's turf and ask for his help.
So on a relatively quiet night, Batman was perching on a gargoyle while the newest Robin was scouting out the alleyways for any trouble. And Superman decided to touch down on the roof behind the crouching Batman and said, as if they had met before, as if they were close friends who hang out every once in a while, "Good evening, Batman. It's nice to see you again. Sorry I couldn't page first, and I hope you're not too busy because I have an emergency and I could really use your help."
Batman had gone rigid in a second and through gritted teeth, said, "Superman."
Upon hearing the name through the comm, Damian panicked and immediately sent out an emergency alert to his brothers before grappling to the building where sweet, clueless Superman with his sweet heart was facing the big bad Bat of Gotham who had been stockpiling on kryptonite for years, waiting for the day he would fight Superman. Which was the first mistake.
Because of course Superman, friendly Superman, with heart the size of the Sun, immediately recognised Robin. And of course, clueless Superman with his dumb, harmless 1000 megawatt smile was waving at Robin as if they were friends, as if they knew each other, as if Robin didn't hear Bruce grumbling about each piece written about the good deeds the Superman did every other day.
The others arrived at the scene faster than they would have at any night. Panic stricken and scared shitless of Bruce's wrath. And of course Superman immediately greeted them as soon as they got there.
Batman had merely narrowed his eyes when Superman had waved at Robin, and barked, sharper than he had before, "What the hell are you doing in my city?"
Superman looked taken aback but he was quick to recover. Seems like whatever emergency he got was more prominent than figuring out why his sort-of-not-really-friend was behaving weirdly. "Like I said, I have an emergency and I could really use your help, Batman."
Batman scoffed but with the voice modulator it sounded garbled and hard for the ears. "And what makes you think I would help you?"
Superman blinked. "What do you mean— Why wouldn't you help me?"
"First you encroach into my city without even asking for permission, talking to me as if we are— friends. And then you ask for my help as if I would just drop everything on my plate and follow you. Who do you think—"
But Batman's rant was cut off by the arrival of the other three heroes who stood at the edge of the roof, looking sheepish and guilty, breathing heavily in the quiet night. Superman looked at them, bewildered and surprised to see all the Batfamily in one place but smiling wide nonetheless because he was happy to see his little friends together. It had always been two kids or one. Never three, never all of them and certainly not with Batman in the mix.
"Oh, hey, Red Robin, Nightwing and Red Hood...?" Superman waved awkwardly by the end of his greetings, looking unsure. "Sorry," he said and actually curled in on himself a little as if he's self-conscious. "Are you guys on a big case? I didn't hear anything so I thought you weren't busy. I guess I could try to contact Wonder Woman if you have your hands full."
Superman turned to Batman but Batman was slowly turning his head towards where his kids stood at the edge of the roof. He was eerily silent and motionless making the kids take a step back nervously. Superman watched the scene with a frown, pulling his eyebrows together so tightly they almost meet in the middle. He was starting to detect that something wasn't quite right.
"Explain." Batman barked.
And Superman's face scrunched up even further. Clearly the man was deep in thought. "You know," he said slowly before none of the kids could speak. "Batman. You sound really different than the last time we met. Or any other time, actually. It's as if you're..." he trailed off, staring at Batman's feet, lost in his thoughts again.
"What." Batman shifted slightly. "We've never met before."
"Oh," Superman breathed out, his face going slack. He turned to Nightwing and the young hero immediately stood up straighter. "It was you."
Batman's head snapped towards where Dick was standing with his hands literally clasped behind his back like a soldier. "Nightwing," growled Batman. "Explain."
"Uhh..." said Dick eloquently.
"Red Robin." Bruce barked when Dick fell into silence, unable to come up with a plausible excuse, or to tell the truth.
"Err..." said Tim, swaying a little on his feet. He hadn't had enough sleep or coffee in him to live through the situation.
Batman did not sigh but Bruce Wayne did. A lot. And the kids had a knack of bringing out the dad side in him so Batman sighed through the voice modulator before he could think better. He had always suspected that his kids were up to something but he was so consumed with the thought of the alien— who was now standing in front of him with the world's greatest kicked puppy eyes in the world for some reason— he had stupidly thought whatever shenanigans his sons were up to, he would be able to deal with it later. Of course, he had never thought that his kids were dirty, backstabbing demons.
"Father," Damian finally said, but only because Jason had been signing at him to do so, telling him to use his puppy eyes since it still seemed to work on Bruce. "This is a misunderstanding."
But apparently they were dealing with the full Bat tonight, despite the involuntary sigh, because Batman did not slumped down his shoulders like he always did when Damian turn on his pleading eyes, instead he stood up straight as ever and met Damian's eye straight on. Jason was sure he could hear thunderstorm coming their way.
"A misunderstanding." He repeated flatly.
"Yes." Dick quickly said and Jason gave him a side eye. Dude, he thought, I just convinced the demon child to throw himself under the bus, why are you still talking.
"How is this a misunderstanding." His tone was so flat it didn't even come out as a question.
"I don't understand," Superman said instead, before anyone could reply Batman. He turned to the kids, his face set in disappointment so similar to Bruce's the kids actually flinched back. "You told me Batman was okay with me hanging out with you guys... And he told me— Oh. Nightwing. Right."
Batman's shoulders went impossibly more rigid. "You have been... hanging out."
"Err," said Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin simultaneously. Jason wisely kept his mouth shut. But Bruce's eyes still landed on him. Jason groaned in his head. So much for staying undetected.
"Red Hood," Bruce said slowly, very pointedly. "I thought you hate Superman."
"Yeah, well." Jason shrugged with nonchalance he didn't feel. "Turns out, he's a pretty great guy. So, kudos to him. Yay...?"
"You hated me?" Superman asked, looking dejected. Like someone kicked his dog and Jason knew he had a dog so the expression was even more daunting. And Jason wasn't having any of it, okay. Kal-El had literally given Red Hood his Ma's secret recipe for the perfect cinnamon roll. Which tasted like heaven (sorry Alfred). They had a bond, okay. No way he would let Superman see him as some cynical asshole. No way.
"Not fucking fair. It was the old man who went on and on about how you can't be trusted while making weapons to kill you. So, in my defense, it was hard to like you when all your flaws and possible weaknesses are pointed out in an alphabetical order." He threw a quick glance at the old man he just threw under the bus. Bruce looked unimpressed as ever. "But that was before I met you and found out that you're actually a chill dude. With a mother who's, like, the God of Baking."
"Superman doesn't have a mother!" Batman, honest to god, spluttered.
"Yes, he does." The young heroes said in unison.
"His world is dead. His parents are dead." Batman needlessly emphasised the word 'dead', for which he got four pairs of unimpressed eyes.
"B, have you ever heard of adoption." Dick said, emphasising the last word just to spite Bruce. Because of course Bruce did, if not, three of them wouldn't be there.
"You have Earth parents!" Batman exclaimed quite unlike himself, pointing a finger at Superman as if that's an accusation.
"You want to kill me." Kal whispered, his puppy eyes back on full effect.
Batman shifted uncomfortably. It was one thing to plan ways to kill someone, even if they're alien, it's completely different when said someone you wanted to kill was confronting you about the very thing.
"Yes." Damian reaffirmed. Ever the literal. "Father has been producing a variety of weapons to weaken you, hurt you and eventually kill you with the material called Kryptonite."
"Robin." Tim hissed.
Damian was still a growing child, emotionally and physically. But even he knew that when his any of his brothers said his name like that, it meant he had crossed a line he shouldn't have without realising he did.
"But you have nothing to worry about, Kal." Damian quickly amended. "Should father try to use these weapons under unwarranted circumstances, he will find the stock empty. We have contingency plans for father's contingencies—"
"Damian." It was Dick this time, who quickly moved and put a hand over Robin's mouth. He didn't even realise his mistake, not any of them did, actually.
"What." Batman said. Mostly confused. He couldn't even find it in himself to be furious at the moment. He was just flummoxed.
"Oh. Uh." Superman stammered. "Thank you? That's really nice of you."
An awkward silence befall the rooftop as each hero stood awkwardly where they were, barely breathing, motionless, not knowing what action to take next. Eventually Batman shifted an inch.
Oh no, thought the boys, he's going to go on another rant.
"You went behind my back," Batman started with a dark voice. "I warned you about the danger and you dismissed it. You went and made an alliance with my enemy." Here, Superman let out a protesting noise which could also he offended because, really? Enemy? Batman ignored it. "Not only that, you made plans to go against me. Instead of talking to me, you decided to oppose me. I have trained you and taught you everything you need to know. I take care of you and make sure to meet each of your needs. And this is what I get in return. Betrayal. You did not listen to me and—"
But he was cut off by a sardonic voice. "Master Wayne," said a voice from the batcomm each Bat was wearing, and Superman with his superhearing could hear it loud and clear too. "Considering your history of doing what you were told not to do, are you sure that you should be giving this speech?"
"Alfred," Batman said, sounding almost petulant.
"It is your fault, afterall, that you did not seek out Superman first before deciding who he is and what he is like. It is a good thing, if I may be so bold to say, that the kids see past the mask and befriend Superman in spite of what you have to say about him." Batman looked at Superman who was standing there awkwardly, staring at Batman. Bruce sneered, unable to help himself.
"Quit that," Alfred admonished. Bruce immediately dropped it. Superman blinked. "Now, Master Bruce. I agree that Master Dick, Master Jason, Master Tim and Master Damian should have come forward with their established friendship with Superman but considering your opinion on him, I believe it is understandable that they hesitated to do so." The aforementioned young boys nodded their head at Bruce. "That is not to say, however, that their behaviour shall go unpunish." Now they were groaning and Bruce had a little smile of triumph. "Perhaps, a few days off petrol and reflecting on our behaviours would do us some good. Including you, Master Bruce." Bruce immediately dropped his smile. Why him, too? Alfred answered right away. "I believe you realise now that you have been acting brashly the past few years. Now, we know that Superman is not as aloof and alien as we had previously thought. He is more earthbound than we believed him to be. If he were to go, he will have someone to miss him."
The kids nodded again. Superman just stared at Bruce with wide eyes and an expression Bruce couldn't put together. Whatever, Bruce had no time to care about him. He turned slightly away to whisper to the comm.
"But Alfred—"
"None of that now. I suggest you send the young lads home and we put this discussion off for the future."
In the ensuing silence, Superman softly breathed out: "Wayne."
Batman immediately went rigid, and so did the other young vigilantes. How the hell—
"Bruce... Wayne...?" Superman searched Batman's covered face as if he was trying to see if he was actually coming to a concrete conclusion.
"Oh," Alfred said, surprised and guilty. "The supersenses have slipped my mind. My apologies, Master Bruce."
For the first time in his life, Bruce didn't know what to do. Of course his immediate response should be deflection. But how could you lie to Superman about the very thing he just heard. The kids didn't seem to know what else to do either.
"Perhaps, you should ask Superman to come over for tea if his emergency is not an emergency anymore and we could talk about this in a more secure place." Alfred smoothly continued. No point in lying now. Superman had heard what he had heard and it was unlikely that he could be convinced that his superhearing was faulty.
Superman blinked a few times as if to clear his thoughts before he cleared his throat. "Yes, uhm. I was going to ask Batman to help me take a look at some data about a shipment from Gotham to Metropolis that was to happen tonight. I have reasons to believe that Luthor is involved and when Luthor is involved—"
"Kryptonite is involved." Bruce finished it for him.
Superman looked at him, seemingly a bit surprised. "Erm, yes. That. But I think it has already happened so... I'd have to follow it up tomorrow. So. Uh. I have... time?"
Batman narrowed his eyes and stayed silent.
"Bruce." Alfred said.
"C'mon B," Dick piped up. "The worst has already happened."
"I concur, Father. Kal-El now knows who you are, it is only best that the matter of discretion be properly discussed." Damian nodded sagely.
"The fuck, old man, are you still contemplating this?" Jason raised his arms in disbelief. He's so done with this family.
"Language, Master Jason."
"Uhh..." Tim swayed on his feet.
Batman sighed again. Dammit. Instead of showing his discomfort, however, he growled out a mean, "Fine." And then he grappled towards where he parked the Batmobile. Those brats could find their own way home and Superman? He could fly anyway.
Turned out, Superman could fly with four more passengers and Red Robin's bike that the kids used to get to that building. Although Bruce later gave Kal a piece of his mind about safety and the standard amount of people Superman should carry during flight without putting anyone in danger.
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perexcri · 8 months
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methinmycoffee · 1 year
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I want to be the assistant to Mr. Stone :(
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avocado-frog · 1 year
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Ricky Potts but when Ocean sings what the world needs, he hits her with one of his crutches
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maybeamiles · 7 months
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OC-tober 4: Waking from a nightmare
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Yeah I think the title says it all. My boy Astynax is really going through it
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drowsyanddazed · 11 months
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Jade you watch Druck? I’m screaming, what’s your favorite season?
hi! yes!! my favorite season is season 3 (my favorite in most of the remakes lol) but second favorite is 7/isi (partly bc i rlly love sascha, i think he’s my favorite character in the whole thing). idk if this is an unpopular opinion but third favorite: season 5/nora. i think the writing was the best of all the new gen druck
do wanna mention though i rlly wanted to love season 6/fatou, i saw advertising for it and that’s why i started watching the new gen druck in the first place, but i think maybe i went in with too many expectations? i felt like the pacing was a bit off & while fatou and kieu my had good chemistry, i wish they had more on screen time and they communicated better, probably fourth favorite? (ik you asked for my favorite but i’m giving you up to four <3) put more wlw in skam!!
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andmaybegayer · 1 year
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🍓?
One of the people whose blog I look forward to reading like a newspaper because you are always up to something interesting and novel. Impeccable taste in everything from cowboys to weird-ass 90's radios.
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friendofthecrows · 2 years
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Continuing the tea experiment, London Fog edition to celebrate the start of fall 🍂(So, so yummy)
Highlights:
For the milk, a good food processor is better than an emulsifier or even a milk foamer.
This is my 4th batch I've photographed here, and you're going to use more milk than you think. 250mL for 1000mL tea.
For a more prominent tea flavor, the milk actually shouldn't stack up on up much at all, looking more like a thin foamy glaze of milk bubbles (the one pictured is a more milky one)
Make the tea and mix the non-milk materials in before you poor the milk in.
Use AT LEAST 4 grams of tea for 1000mL of water. I recommend 6 grams, 4 of Earl grey de la crème and 2 of lavender.
I didn't measure in grams (sorry) but I found the best honey amount is 2tsp for 1000mL. This is going to vary by taste.
Add almond milk. 5 drops per 1000mL.
And I cannot stress this enough add as much vanilla as you can fucking handle
Please feel free to repeat this experiment and give feedback! (I sure will (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠`⁠*⁠))
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indigozeal · 2 years
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Illustrations of various women of Lunar (and a couple rogue gentlemen, plus some other ladies on the covers) by comics artist John Watkins-Chow from the '90s RPG fanzine Shining Forth.
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bisaster-energy · 1 year
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something something the cop-ification of the winchester bros. that one post about how dressing up as custodians or plumbers is 100% more effective than g men. the way they think should be trusted by all others and those that do not trust them with everything are untrustworthy themselves. the mentality that is pushed in law enforcement shows that cops should be allowed to do whatever break rules violate rights "for the greater good." dean would literally have said acab if given the chance. im not connecting shit but gimme a break it's almost 3am
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luxettenebra · 1 year
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got Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous a few days ago, and it inevitably made me think about a hypothetical AU
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trashy-greyjoy · 3 months
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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.
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greykolla-art · 2 months
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Imagine spending all your energy being cool and mysterious 24/7.
What an idiot have I mentioned I love him?
Idea came from a cool post @nouverx made about Alastor’s possible sleeping habits. 💕
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vivi266 · 7 months
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cozystars · 2 months
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!!! BUILT LIKE BILBO BAGGINS !!!
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sillyahhchana · 6 months
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Hi fnaf movie dump but it’s mostly bonnie and abby
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