#ofc the last lesbian is bill

[menlove]

the twelfth doctor's story is just one butch dealing with no less than 3 batshit femmes who love him very much and would kill someone with varying degrees of hesitation and then 1 lesbian who is neither and would NOT kill anyone but would still die for him in a very Platonic way

#the three in question being missy clara and river #of those though the most femme. in my mind. is missy. #i look at her and im like oh babygirl your femininity is so queer i love it #what femme wouldnt want to dress victorian style and kill people? #ofc the last lesbian is bill

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not helping my family pay for hospital bills?

🎷🔥 so i can find it later

This is going to need a lot of context right off the bat. I (20'sM) am a gay man that comes from an extremely conservative family. My sister (20'sF) is also a lesbian and recently got married and adopted a child. I'm very proud of her, but that's not the issue.

My parents seem to have little to no issue with my sister marrying a woman. They do have a very big issue with me liking dudes, however. Like, it was the reason my parents got divorced "big issue." I'm not gonna go into everything, but my sister ended up with my dad and I stayed with my mom for reasons I'd rather not share.

Our last parting was on... less than decent terms. Upon finding out that I was of the homosexual variety, my dad flipped his lid. He called me several slurs and said some other very hurtful things, and even made moves to physically attack me. My mom, also a very homophobic woman, stepped in and thankfully talked him down. Then divorce, etc etc.

I saved up enough money to move out when I turned 18 and may have done some impulsive things including completely trashing my mom's bathroom, which I know I'm definitely the asshole for, but in my defense my mom kept "forgetting" to pick up my prescriptions and I was manic (I have bipolar). But, again, I know I'm the AH for that.

I now live with my two best friends R (20sNB) and P (20sM) in a house we all pay for. R comes from money so they help out a lot, and I love them both to death. We kind of have a sort of situationship but none of us are poly? Idk it's weird we're just going with it rn.

Anyway, I bring them up bc we all went to my sister's wedding together, and my parents separately chewed me out for bringing them (and for R daring to wear a dress. They're amab for context) and I obviously argued back bc hey they're my best friends and my sister specifically said it was okay for me to bring them (she and R are also friends and they wouldve been invited regardless of me bringing P) and also because R looks very good in a dress and i can handle them shit-talking me but i will not tolerate slander towards R or P.

At the wedding, I went full no contact with them and told them to lose my number. They, ofc, did Not lose my number and I got several calls from extended family saying about what you would expect them to say, so I switched numbers and gave only my sister and her wife my new number.

My sister. I love her to pieces but sometimes she gets on my nerves. She gives my number to my mom to have "just in case," but she reassures me that she won't give it to my dad or any other family. So far, she's made good on that promise, I just have to deal with periodic calls about getting a girlfriend and having kids.

Now, my dad isn't the healthiest guy out there. He has arthritis, osteoporosis, and several other things that i don't really wanna get into. As he's aged he's only gotten worse and there have been several times he's almost died, but recently he's been put on hospice and has an estimated Not Very Long to live.

Here's where I may be the AH. My dad calls me while I'm at a very important, personal event for R (he got my number from my mom) and goes on a long rant on how I'm an unlovable disgrace and how he fed me and clothed me and I could make up for all that by helping him pay off hospital debt. I say no immediately and tell him that he's never been my dad, only my dna donor, and that he's going to be dead anyway and that selling his house could cover all the bills. He calls me many more names and tells me he wishes I was never born (calling my mom some very derogatory names too (she's asian)) and that i should just go ahead and off myself to save the world someone like me. I tell him he should die faster while he's at it because God knows the world already has enough bigots in it and there could never be too many mentally ill queers.

I hung up, but now I'm thinking I went a bit too far. AITA for not helping out with his hospital bills and yelling at him?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[beardyboyzx]

fic tag | AO3 - Last Updated: October 1st, 2023

one-shots/flashfics

Gray hair is our forever | 919 | [Harry/Louis] GA, established relationship, fluff

Harry put his lips together and his smile became bashful, one hand coming back in Louis' hair to caress it lovingly.

He had seen Louis' first gray hair.

His boyfriend was growing older and Harry was there to see it happening.

"You've got one gray hair," he said, voice wet but full of wonder, as if that hair was made out of pure silver. "Your first gray hair."

I ain't ever fell from a love this tall | 733 | [Liam/Zayn] GA, Friends to Lovers, Canon Compliant, Pining

When he looks at the words, after a few seconds, Zayn feels this sort of relief feather-thrum inside of him — a brief excitement grasping him by the neck, gripping hard, as Zayn’s fingers run over the things he’s just written, admiring how they hold the true nature of his yearnings. And this weird ancestral knowledge Zayn’s got ever since he’s met Liam that first time — before One Direction, before X-Factor, when they were just fourteen and chatting awkwardly waiting for a Happy Meal. The stupid knowledge that this is it for him. That Liam is it.

If It Makes You Feel Alive (It's Alright) | 18K | [Liam/Zayn, Liam/OFC, Harry/Louis] Teen and Up, coming out, internalised homophobia, emotional infidelity (read the tags!)

When Liam was ten years old, Justin Timberlake released Sexy Back.

Liam still doesn't know why, but it felt like a turning point, like something that fixed the ever-pending axis of his existence.

or: in the first year of university, Liam learns some things about himself.

If you ever feel alone (Don't) | 9.8K | [Harry/Louis] GA, angst and fluff

Louis is too busy worrying about helping his mum and paying the bills to let himself enjoy his teenage years and hang out with his friends. Enter Harry, who will help him reconcile with his friend and understand the difference between feeling lonely and being alone.

in my head we can love forever | 1.2k | [Harry/Louis] E, girl direction, smut, pre-relationship

It’s official: this is creepy. She’s creepy. It’s not like anything is going to happen just because Louis is a lesbian too. Harry’s got to stop touching herself while thinking about her roommate.

Except that she can’t.

–

Or: Harry might be a bit in love with her roommate.

It's a rush inside I can't control | 764 | [Louis-centric] GA, werewolf AU

Wind is hitting him in the face as Louis runs, freely and carelessly, through the woods. There’s no one chasing him for once, and he’s got all the time in the world to enjoy how the soil feels under his feet.

Midnight in Paris | 555 | [Louis&Liam] GA, humor

Q: What is the craziest thing Louis has ever done?

A: [...] He left me on my own while I was being arrested nearly by a French policeman [...]

or: Liam gets in trouble in Paris.

so pretend (pretend) | 1.9k | [Harry/Louis] NR, inspired by White Collar, inspired by Catch me if you can, pre-relationship

Louis has thought about it as soon as he found out Styles was back in the Country — ever since he made sure Styles was still in England, really. Or: the White Collar/Catch me if you can AU nobody asked for.

Tripping All Over | 2.3K | [Harry/Louis] GA, 5+1 Things, established relationship, meet cute, humor, fluff

Five times Harry falls on stage and one time he falls for Louis.

Twenty-Eight | 1.4K | [Harry/Louis] M, Enemies to Lovers, Spy! AU, villain Louis, dark Louis, non-con elements (read the tags!)

"Can't believe you finally caught him," Niall says, clapping him on the back. He's been there with him on his very first mission, when Twenty-Eight was just the first criminal Harry encountered in his spy career to them.

or: Agent Harry Styles has finally caught his nemesis, but there's a knot in the plot he's not ready to detangle.

you are the magic in me | 2.8K | [Liam/Zayn] NR, inspired by BBC Merlin, Friends to Lovers, Prince Liam, Wizard Zayn

Zayn is eight when he meets the Prince for the first time. His dad is being knighted — the King has seen the way he fought to defend his village from the enemies of the Kingdom and has decided to gift him a piece of land and a title.

chaptered

set fire to hystory series

waving to the hard times | 80k | [Harry/Louis; Zayn/Liam] NR, dystopian AU, A/B/O, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Angst (don’t forget to check all the tags!)

“When you took power, you promised the people equality, freedom from any form of discrimination, and the peace we were severely lacking. Today, once again, you’re proving yourself to be a fake, a clown who rose to power just to think about himself.” Louis turns to look at the General once again and finds himself staring at the way his face seems scrunched up in pure and unadulterated rage. “But we — the people, have had enough of you and your barbarity.” Taking a step forward, the person raises his carbine and points it at the balcony. The crowd gasps and Louis takes his gun out of its holder and points it right back at them. “We’ve had enough. We’re not gonna ask you to stop anymore. We’re gonna make you.”

–

Twenty-five years ago, a group of alpha soldiers led a revolution to dispose of the beta oppressive monarchy. Louis Tomlinson, The General’s alpha nephew, is set to follow in his footsteps and eventually lead the Country. When the arrest of a beta brings a silent resistance group to show themselves and threaten The General, Louis finds himself questioning the government’s true nature and the equality of the law, in a quest that will change him for good. 

#things i write #**masterpost

[monsoftx-blog]

KPOP SQUAD AS THE LAST OF US PART I

DISCLAIMER: Since not all KPSQ have played the games nor watched any gameplays, this is just gonna stick to the tv show to avoid spoilers.

The Last Of Us is a wonderful masterpiece and its trip is better to be taken knowing little to nothing about it. Enjoy season 1 and 2!

NANI AS... ELLIE

— miss little no patience, would choose violence any given day

— the kiddo of the group

— a fighter™

— for the love of god, please don't tell them to not do something they will now do it just because you told them not to

— those anger issues and impulsivity?? aries moon shit right there

— but deep down, they're just scared kids with so many dreams

— being mean to you is their love language

— they actually a dork

— awkward but oh, so sweet my child

BAO AS... BILL

— the gay x lesbian alliance we couldn't have in the show, LISTEN

— grumpy and small? yes

— paranoids who barely trust ANYONE?? scorpio moon shit

— if you earn their trust and truly understand them, you have a forever friend

— ofc all that disappears the moment their gay asses get WHIPPED for someone

— then they are the softest, most caring lovey dovey who would go all romeo and juliet for you, these pisces venus little shits

JAVI AS... TESS

— oh, my girlies are so smart and brave i love them

— voices of the reason, for real

— kind of the mediators and the only ones with actual manners here

— but don't get yourself fooled: these bitches are smart AND badass

— will kill you on sight without thinking about it twice

— the strategists ones, GIRLBOSSES

— would give their lives for their loved ones or what they think is a cause worth fighting for

— my sweet softies deep down, but their love lives... tragic

VIC AS... JOEL

— oh, these emotionally closed-off bitches!

— parents of the group

— tired and old™

— masters of hiperindependence and hipervigilance

— repressed anger issues

— kind of paranoids with people, barely lets anyone in

— not on the talkative side unless they like you

— once they finally let you in and they feel comfortable with you they will love you and take care of you forever

— do not touch their loved ones if you appreciate breathing

EXTRA: INTERACTIONS

JOEL + ELLIE

ELLIE + TESS

JOEL + TESS

BILL + JOEL + TESS

BONUS:

Bill and Ellie unfortunately never get to meet in the show BUT, they do in the game so...

BILL + ELLIE

#kpop squad #kpop squad as #kpop squad as tlou

[romeomahbromeo]

Newsies as things my cast did while in (and out of) character

first of all: some casting gags

our spot was this tiny buff blonde girl who was like a Total class clown

our race, in contrast, was soft spoken, freaking gigantuan (like 6’ something) and did drag in his free time. he did a fully choreographed routine to Miss Baltimore Crabs at karaoke night. it was fabulous.

our jack was straight and a total bro— but he had a really great voice and up until tech week i thought his accent was real (i still haven’t heard his real voice).

our davey is my best friend. he’s the memeiest mofo out there, but he drinks his Respect Women Juice. freaking chugs it. he’s the only cishet guy i trust. he’s also fairly new to musical theatre (this was his first time at the camp) but he’s definitely committed and has been taking voice and tap lessons.

our les was 13 years old. he looks like an 8 year old. my actual 9-yr-old brother was heavier than him. he was also the funniest dude i’ve ever met, and he introduced said 9-yr-old to the concept of lesbians.

our pulitzer was like 15 and an Absolute Fool.

we had a couple doubled roles— jojo doubled as Bill and Seitz doubled as Darcy. also i (romeo) doubled as Bunsen (and a nun asdfghjkl), and buttons doubled as the mayor

we had a couple girlsies with speaking roles, including Specs, Elmer, Tommy Boy, Mush, and ofc Spot

Specs was the dance captain, and Finch was also SUPER talented (he did a lot of cool flips and stuff. at one point Jack boosted him for a flip a la Newsies Live. it was awesome.)

we had a pair of twins in the cast who played Wiesel, Roosevelt, and Jacobi. they were best friends with the guy who played Snyder, and none of them got their lines memorized until opening night. they were all kind of really annoying— “Snyder” was suspended for a bomb threat in 8th grade, nearly killed the cast of our school musical because he was messing with the rigging, and (according to his sibling) plays torture simulators for fun. yeah. seems pretty on brand

OKAY now onto Actual Shenanigans

That time...

pulitzer took the Stuf from a bunch of Mega Stuf oreos, put it in between the cookie parts of one oreo, and ate it while bunsen filmed

during the first staging of seize the day, when davey & jack were instructed to put their arms around each other’s shoulders during “behold the brave battalion”

davey did what he was supposed to

jack did not, and instead grabbed davey’s ass

during one of the last singing rehearsals we were doing Something to Believe In in front of the full cast for the first time and Katherine was busy staging Watch What Happens

so Finch (male) sang her part

and afterwards Jack chased him around the room trying to kiss him

someone gave me a mocha chip smoothie while i was in my bun costume, which led to a horde of nuns taking crazy selfies with the Jamba Juice cup

that time i was in my nun costume, walking past a janitor to get to the dressing room and he said “Afternoon, sister”

i’m a guy

#just found this in my drafts from 2 summers ago rip #newsies #okay boomer the musical #will update with funnies from last summer when i was in newsies again

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

what are your thoughts on the skeleton twins

Hi! I finished watching it last night but desperately needed sleep after because I knew I had things to do this morning, and I also wanted to process it (sometimes I have to take some time to process movies, other times I just word vomit about them).

This is kind of long but I’ll add a read more later when I have the chance!

Anyway; The Skeleton Twins...I really enjoyed it! I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were in it and playing twins, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I think, given the two actors I mentioned, I was expecting pure comedy or something? But I was so blown away by the film and the performances they gave.

Obviously I love both Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig anyway but this movie really showed their serious acting chops. There were some funny moments too, of course, but they’re both really talented doing genres outside of comedy too, and it sometimes takes me aback when I see comedians do such a good job with non-comedic roles - then again, comedy is probably the hardest genre to pull off, and so it’s no wonder they’re both talented anyway. (I’m rambling, sorry!)

{below here I’m talking about themes related to mental health/suicide, and I can’t put a read more at the moment because I’m currently on my mobile - I will be putting a read more here when I get the chance later!}

I was so taken aback though because the film starts with Milo attempting to commit suicide and Maggie contemplating it, and I guess...it’s something I have struggled with, and so it really made my heart drop especially when I saw Milo in the bathtub and the water turn red. It doesn’t show him actually cutting but we all know what happened. Without going into too much detail, SH and mental illness is something I really struggle with, even though I’m slowly recovering these days - it never truly goes away though, you know it’s there even if you’ve gotten better and it’s something you learn to cope and deal with.

Honestly, I was sort of pleasantly surprised by how well the film portrayed mental illness and suicide with both the main characters. I felt at times I should have hated Maggie for cheating and lying to her husband but I also sort of empathized with her (not with the cheating, just the whole situation and being in a huge mess), and I think what made the film was the relationship between the two siblings because it’s so real and natural, especially if you consider the circumstances when they were younger. Their interactions as siblings was so believeable too, like sometimes you’ll watch movies with siblings and the siblings are all mushy or too at each other’s throats, and it’s unrealistic. They both feel so relatable and easy to connect to, though I suppose I am kind of more biased towards Bill’s character because he’s the reason I watched it (after seeing the clip of him dancing online - that was literally the only part I had seen before).

This is kind of dumb, but as I said, I thought they did a great job portraying depression and the aftermath of the suicide attempts? Like when Maggie was drowning herself and then panicked and tried to swim back up but couldn’t - I’ve heard stories of people who have survived jumping off of bridges or whatever, and they’ve said that after making that jump they instantly regretted it. I think that’s so accurate - it’s not glamourizing suicide either, like it would have been so easy to have her sink peacefully and be rescued without her wanting it and then realize what she’s doing but instead they showed the panic, the regret.

I think what especially caught my eye, however, was the fact that Milo was wearing bracelets on his wrists later in the film to hide his scars and like...? That is so relatable, that is something I do during the summer if it’s been one of those instances, I wear bracelets and wristbands and sometimes even tie a bandana around my wrist to hide it.

I don’t know if that’s just something I do/have done and I’m projecting, or if it’s because actual research/thought was put into it, but either way it was something that really stood out to me and made him more relatable?

I can’t remember the name of Milo’s ex teacher but he can get fucked for all I care. He took advantage and manipulated a teenage boy and I think that’s important to remember. It would be easy to just freak out because omg cute gay couple but to me I just saw it as a one-sided unhealthy relationship where one is manipulative and abusive to the other who feels like they need their love, and it’s kind of depressing - but then Milo basically says “fuck that” by the end, and it’s beautiful because it’s like he’s deciding “you know what, I deserve to be treated better” - and he does, he really does. Beforehand it felt (to me) like he allowed himself to be used and mistreated because he felt like that was the only way he could feel worthy, but then he grows and develops and I think that’s so important.

I think I should also briefly mention that the scene where Maggie tells Milo “maybe next time you should cut deeper” genuinely broke my heart for many reasons - because she’s so upset and her marriage is ruined and everything is a mess, so much so that she actually says that to him before immediately regretting it. And ofc I was so upset because that’s literally something your brain tells you when you’re depressed and suicidal/self harm, that maybe next time...yeah. You can see the flurry of emotions on his face as he processes what she said, like he’s in genuine disbelief that she - his own sister, his twin - said such a cruel and disgusting thing to him like that. It genuinely broke my heart to see, though I was glad they did eventually mend things between them.

Some other things I want to mention but don’t have the brain capacity to talk about properly because I’m exhausted and a dumbass:

The Marley and Me joke was so relatable omg, I read the more child friendly version when I was little but I had no idea the dog died and it broke my damn heart, so that little joke about Marley and Me was hilarious to me

Honestly I’m talking a lot about Bill Hader but I do truly adore Kristen Wiig too, like she’s probably one of the most diverse actresses who does all sorts of genres and projects - from voice acting to drama to SNL etc - and she’s incredible in this film.

Lance was a sweetheart and I feel sorry for him? Like he genuinely loved Maggie and was such a nice guy, and while some of the stuff he said wasn’t always helpful or correct, it came from a place of caring and that’s what matters. Also he was totally cool with his brother in law who he never met before coming and living in his house, and he even helped Milo get some work (even if said work WAS clearing brush away)

The scene where the twins go out and Bill Hader is dressed in drag is honestly a highlight of this movie

Actually the scene where he sees himself the first time in drag is also a highlight

The scene where the mother is making a long ass toast while everyone is waiting to drink their wine, and Maggie/Kristen Wiig just downs her glass before she’s finished is so relatable

Okay but there’s a scene where Milo goes to a gay bar looking for a lay and just...the night he goes, of course it’s fuckin “Dyke Night” (their words, not mine!) and then he comes home absolutely pissed and telling his sister and his brother in law that he just wanted “some c*ck”, omg I was laughing way too hard. Also let’s not forget that he said the two “lesbian ladies” he met were lovely and taught him to play darts, we love mlm and wlw solidarity!!

Well since we’ve already established I’m fucking trash for Bill Hader, let’s just include that moment where his character is shirtless (kinda) in bed

That scene where Maggie meets up with some woman she knew (in high school I think?) and that woman has a son, and the son is a little dick and the mom and the son are cussing at each other was a whole new level of hilarious I didn’t expect, like I was deadass expecting this chick to go on about how wonderful it is to be a mother even when he’s a dick to her, how it’s a great gift, but nope, she knows and even says he’s a fucking dick 😂

THE DENTIST OFFICE SCENE JESUS CHRIST I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE I WAS GENUINELY PISSING MYSELF WITH LAUGHTER?!

THAT DANCE SCENE AM I RIGHT, OMG, like he’s so cute and happy in that scene and then she joins in and it’s so dorky and fun??

I LOVE all the water imagery and shit, like maybe it’s just because I’m an absolute geek for swimming (it’s one of maybe three sports I don’t totally suck at??) and I love the cinematography underwater, whether it’s the skeleton key ring sinking or the scuba diving or Milo’s goldfish. So much wonderful cinematography and imagery!

This film has ultimately shown me that Wiig and Hader deserve Oscars and awards ASAP

Also this is just a general note to anyone reading, feel free to recommend movies to me anytime because I’m a cinephile and love getting to watch new films!

#the skeleton twins #kristen wiig #bill hader #asks #long post #will put a read more later!!

[bagof2780teeth]

The Story of My Crush and I

Yes, this is gonna be a very useless lesbian story about me and my crush.

No, I'm not exaggerating with uselessness. I really am that useless and that much of a clueless bottom.

So hold on tight and follow this rollercoaster of emotions (I might promise too much, but idc, just read it)

Oh, and also, I can and will advertise this as butch x femme bc she's like,,, the butch girl of your dreams and I am the emo femme.

We met because of a mutual friend (let's call her A). So A and I were online friends but luckily we only live like 1h by car or 2 by train apart so she invited me to her birthdays where I met her friends and also my crush. I think we knew right from the beginning that everyone (except for A) is gay. Same interests in music, tv shows, whatever, I get along with A's friends very well. Which is great. Obviously.

I don't know at what point I started crushing. But I knew that on the second birthday party of A I was invited to we were playing truth or dare and I got to choose who I want to kiss. I wanted to say my crush but I was too awkward so I got to kiss A herself and another of her friends. But not my crush. Later that year (it must have been the same year) A, my crush and I went to the cinema together to watch Love, Simon, it was summer. I lowkey hoped for some kind of arm/hand touching action, you know? But yeah, nothing happened, but crush and I always looked at each other when you could see some reference to panic at the disco (brendon urie our lord and saviour). That's that. About 1.5 years ago now.

I possibly had some kind of "relationship" of two weeks with a boy, I regret it. I never wanted my crush to know, bc I still wanted to have a chance. Yeaaaah, let's just not talk about it.

About one year ago, A set crush and me up on a "date" (apparently we both were complaining that we wanted a girlfriend.). I think it was around that time when I told A that I actually have a crush on my crush.

So we went to a Christmas market, we were just walking around, at some point we got chips and she was like "I'll pay" and I died a little. Yeah, that's the most "intense" it got, no holding hands or anything. Pretty disappointing, right?

I think the next time we met was my Birthday party. She and A stayed over night because of the distance so it's just less stressful. I actually was invited to her birthday party as well but my (not anymore) best friend decided to have hers on the same day so I thought since I was closer with my best friend, her party was the right decision.

Crush is literally one day younger than me, btw.

So since A's birthday is also in the same month (march, my people, it's insane) A's party was the next time we met. And again all of the other friends I already knew. At some point crush taught me some kind of dance figure (discofox) so our hands touched, wow so intense, she has very soft hands.

At some point, again, truth or dare, but it was just crush, me and one of the friends (the one I got to kiss a year prior). I had to say whom I wanted to kiss if I had to and I was like "ehhh, I don't mind, really", but obviously, I was just too insecure to say my crush's name.

A and my crush both came to see my school's musical (obviously I was in it). When they talked to me afterwards A hugged me in a way that felt like she was trying to lift me up. Since she's smaller than me I was like "are you trying to lift me up?", said it in an ironic way. My crush then said let me try and yes. She did.

A also mentioned that my crush first thought about getting flowers for me but since they had to drive for a while she didn't and I,,, did crush really think about that???

Time went by.

Crush and I only communicate via snapchat.

When I was on holiday she texted me something like "we should meet again when you're back, I miss you" and I, slight gay panic, responded probably "same" and something saying that we should meet!

And we did. We met a couple of times so I'm not really sure what happened when and first or whatever. But I think it was the first meeting (or date???) When we went to a nice roof top bar (it was summer. Summer of 2019) and again, she said she'd pay. So we sat there for a while, talking about... anything, gay things.. casually.

Later we got food (pizza. Pineapple pizza, we both love it and if that's not a sign....) and after being too awkward to ask for the bill we somehow managed to get it and the waitress placed it in the middle of the table. Why am I mentioning that?

So. Before that happened my crush said that with same sex couples it's a "thing" that whoever gets handed the bill is the top. At least in the eyes of the person handing you the bill.

Let's just say that I really have no top energy and the waitress only put it in the middle bc I already had my wallet out.

Btw. I paid. I said we'd pay together and that I'd pay. Most top energy I've ever had in my life.

Later on we were just sitting at the riverside, talking. Eventually it started to rain and we ran somewhere to not get that wet. Yeah. Funny. It really was funny.

About a week later (I got a cold bc we sat in the rain. wow), when we were snapping, she mentioned that she finally found some friends to go swimming in a lake with (it was a really warm summer week) and I was like "oh, lucky you, I don't have anyone to do that". Guess what she did? She invited me to come as well. A and some of the other friends I know were coming, so that was fine for me. Of course my dumb ass lesbian self said yes and the next day I spent two hours on a train to get there.

That was a Wednesday. On Thursday I'd have my very last oral exam in school (graduating is fun n stuff). Why's that important? Well, I made some more poor decisions that day.

When we were like.. done with swimming the plan was to drive to my crush's place to have some kind of bbq. A and I wanted to go to A's place first to shower. On the way we figured out it would be more convenient for me to head directly home because of my exam the next day and how the trains run. I texted my crush what was going on and she was like "you could sleep over at my place and go home tomorrow morning" (my exam was around 2 or so). Of course I said yes. She then asked me if I wanted to drink something specific (there is this certain brand of sparkling wine she knows i love and got it for me).

So we then spend the evening sitting in my crush's garden. I had the whole bottle of sparkling wine for myself since I was the only one liking it/not having to drive. My crush had beer, so that's fine. After all the other friends left we we're just sitting alone, outside, in the warm summer night, talking, sitting in silence (not that awkward kind). At some point she suggested to star gaze when it got dark enough. So guess what? We were lying in the grass next to each other, looking at the night sky and making up names for random star constellations. When it got cold she got us some of her jackets.

Eventually I was slightly drunk since I didn't eat much and drank the whole bottle and I maybe ended up asking her how obvious me having the crush was. Well. Let's just say that my subtweets aren't as sub as I am.

Yeah, so that was the last thing we talked about before sleeping (ofc i had to borrow some of her clothes). Awkward? Maybe. But not really, since nothing changed between us. She knew.

I think the next time we met was when we went to get new piercings together. Chaotic energy, very spontaneously. It was fun, I don't regret anything. I can't remember anything worth mentioning that happened.

So since I graduated this year my live obviously needs to go on. I'm doing a gap year, as an aupair. So I did some kind of "good bye party" with my closest friends before I left.

My crush was invited as well. So, first, she brought me a bottle of my favourite sparkling wine. Then, (I was really stressed) she told me to breath, calm down, or sit down and if I remembered it right she did make gestures that I should sit on her lap? Anyways, I didn't, I had to do something else.

At some point that day we were all sitting on the sofa, me next to my crush. She said something like "my arm hurts" and placed it around my shoulders and then said "oh look how smooth that was". Yeah, I died.

She helped me doing the dishes at like 3am and we talked about random things.. maybe some more "private" things.

A few days later she explained to me how she felt (Text. Not in person, do we look like we aren't socially awkward?). She told me that she really wanted to give me a clear answer but she really can't say if she has romantic feelings for me or not. Like she can't say yes but she also can't say no.

Unrelated to that thing I texted her and asked if I had a chance (I was prepared to get a clear no, so I could stop crushing, you know) but she told me that I do have a chance. Why are lesbians so bad in those things.

Yeah, then, I went abroad. We still snapped pics to each other. She told me (multiple times?) she'd come and visit me if she had enough money.

She on day told me that she had been to a nice veggie restaurant and said that we should go there one day (I'm vegetarian).

When I was sure that I'd come home for christmas I told her and we planned to meet. The idea was there but to actual plan what we wanted to do.

In the meantime we started to do almost daily "good night" snaps and suddenly she started to include a heart in her good night message to me. Eventually I did so too and now we almost every day send each other a picture saying goodnight with a drawn heart on it. You wouldn't do that if you knew the other person has a crush on you and you wouldn't want them to have this crush, would you?

And also she really isn't a person to use much emoticons, certainly not hearts.

So now the plan is that I come over to her place on new years eve (which is tomorrow.)

She said she'd look forward to it and I am literally dying of gay panic and excitement.

Additionally, you know those things on Twitter "@ the xth person, it's your whatever" yeah. People did that with "@ the 6th person is your new years kiss" guess who that person is for me? Literally my crush's Twitter. Eventually I did post it with a "lol" (ironically.) and she responded to it with this smirking emoji. You know which one. 😏. That one.

Yeah, that's pretty much the story. I am a gay mess. If she finds this, I'm dead. Well. Anyways, I'll have another 6-8months abroad when I go back so what could go wrong. Haha. Ha.

I'm way too lazy to check for typos and I might have not included every single detail, but you get the broad idea.

Thank you for your attention, I'm out (what a pun).

TL;DR: lesbians being the useless lesbian cliche, I still don't know if i had a chance

#wlw #useless lesbian #lesbians #lesbian #i cant handle this #crush #gay #lgbtq #story time #literally my life #if anyone has advice i need it #femme x butch #gay disaster #keep the typos #sapphic #glg #lgbt #queer #dating #queer relationships

[garnetrena]

For the ask thing : Greg, Connie, yellow diamond, and Aziphrael !

Thank you for asking me about all these characters! 💕

*

Greg Universe

My OTP: GregRose. Yes, I know that Rose Quartz wasn’t the best person - that’s the understatement of the year. But their relationship was healthy, mostly because Greg put emphasis on communication and respect, as seen in the episode We Need To Talk. Also, Greg hold the braincell most of the time (cf Greg the Babysitter) because, let’s face it, Rose is a dumbass.

My most hated pairing: Pearl/Greg. First, Pearl is a lesbian. And then, I like their relationship, but as a platonic one. They bounded over raising Steven, even before the episode Mr Greg, and it’s really beautiful. I understand why some people tend to ship them, because they do have alchemy, but for me, it’s not a romantic one. It’s a “lost parents raise a magical kid together” one.

My unusual OTP: I have two weird ships with Greg (I’m sorry):

-Greg/Amethyst. It’s because of the episode Maximum Capacity. I think something happened between them, but now they’re kinda embarassed about it. Then, there are other hints in the show that they’re probably still quite close (they spend time together in Steven’s Birthday, it’s implied that Greg takes Amethyst to concerts in Last One Out Of Beach City, etc.)

-Blue Diamond/Greg. I’ve already talked about it here, and to be honest, it started like a crack ship. But Greg really is compassionate and understanding about Blue’s grief in Steven’s Dream. And, again, he has a thing for giant women (cf the line “How big was she?” by Marty in Story of Steven).

My crossover OTP: I have no idea. Probably another rock star.

My brotp/friendship OTP: His relationship with Steven is wonderful! He’s Best Dad. At the beginning of the story, he seems to be the classical trope of the loser dad, but he isn’t at all! He listens at his kid, pays attention to him, and raises him with a lot of love. Many people said that Steven looks like his mother, but I disagree: he looks like Greg. It’s Greg who learnt him empathy, selflessness and how to care about the others.

Character headcanon: I think that Greg’s sunburnt marks date back from Steven’s birth. When Rose Quartz gave up her Gem form to bring Steven into this world, there probably was a very bright explosion of light, and it burnt Greg. That would explain why he doesn’t have these marks in the flashbacks Story for Steven, We Need to Talk and Greg the Babysitter, but does in Three Gems and a Baby.

A Gif that shows how I feel about the character: 

*

Connie Maheswaran

My OTP: Connie/Steven (Connverse), of course! They’re best friends since childhood, battle partners and so cute together. Also, Connie kissed Steven on the cheek in the movie awww

My most hated pairing: Connie/Kevin? I don’t even know if it’s a thing. Thinking about it, Anyone/Kevin is automatically a Bad Ship (except the very weird but so pure Jamie/Kevin ofc)

My unusual OTP: I know it’s a little bit strange, but I kind of ship aged up!Connie/Pearl. Don’t sue me, please!! I’m just always a sl*t for student/mentor relationships

My crossover OTP: I’m currently watching Twelve Forever, and I think that Reggie “Twelve”/Connie could be amazing together. They’re both little miss badasses who love magic, fighting, and going on adventures. Also, it would be a jock/nerd ship - and Connie would have the braincell most of the time xD

My brOTP/friendship OTP: Nodody talks about it, but I really like the relationship bewteen Connie and Amethyst, especially in the episode Crack The Whip. I like how Amy encourages her to have fun and to believe in herself.

Character headcanon: Connie read Homestuck at some point, and she has tons of theories about it.

A Gif that shows how I feel about the character:

*

Yellow Diamond

My OTP: As I said in my answer about Blue, it’s Bellow Diamond. Like White Diamond said, Yellow is “so weak when it comes to Blue”. She tries to support her, but HomeWorld culture isn’t great about emotions, so she’s very awkward… but she tries. For example, I really like when she comforts her during The Trial by holding her shoulders. And they look at each other with so many feelings.

My most hated pairing: I believe that Yellow Diamond/Peridot was something at some point in the fandom, and that’s a No. Except in AUs very, very far from the canon, maybe?

My unusual OTP: As I was saying, if it’s an AU with nothing in common with the canon, it can be interesting? Actually, I’ve already read at least two Yellow/Peridot interesting fanfictions: “Dig Up the Bones” by Tat_Tat (be careful, it’s rated E), which is a fantasy AU, and “Yellow Textbooks” by The_Scent_Of_Rain, which is a teacher/student AU rated T but with a lot of emotional manipulation and an unhealthy relationship. Yeah, I know, I read weird stuff.

My crossover brOTP: Yellow Diamond+Bill Cipher because of this Extreme Pixel Battle!

My brOTP/friendship OTP: I headcanon that she really likes Jasper? After all, she took her in her court, whereas all the other gems who used to be to Pink went into Blue’s court. She is “the perfect Jasper soldier”, and Yellow probably values this.

Character headcanon: Despite the appearances, I think that Yellow is way less cruel than Blue when it comes to shattering. Yellow is a mix between a general and a businesswoman. She’s all about productivity. So, if a gem misbehave, she probably erases her memories and send her back, or put her into a bubble. But she doesn’t shatter that much, because it would be a waste of ressources. (Blue, on the other hand, shatters a lot, as shown in The Answer when she was ready to shatter Ruby just because she fused with a high ranked gem)

A Gif that shows how I feel about the character:

(I love her, but she still has a lot of issues lmao)

*

Aziraphale: I’ve already answered to Do here ;)

Put a character in my box and I’ll tell you…

#answers #ask game #greg universe #connie maheswaran #yellow diamond

[pulsingvoid]

thanks @nervousnotion for tagging me in this like 3 weeks ago anyways heres what i learned this year, music-wise: a) i hate 90% of album art (these are all random screenshots) and b) i dont have the attention span to listen to full albums unless i actively try to 

i also self-diagnosed w ad(h)d this year hmm wonder if that has something to do w it

in terms of albums huge shoutout to MITSKI first of all we all know ive been listening to nothing but be the cowboy since september

i decided to sort them by moods instead of by like. ranks. because that is how i operate, so:

1. IF you’re a repressed lesbian/bi/wlw: mitski is your gal, obviously

2. if youre feelin young and queer and vaguely existential, but like, britpop chic: declan mckenna

3. if youre on the aroace spectrum n have gone thru hell recently both bc of personal issues and bc everyone around u is a piece of shit and u need to self-validate: moses sumney

4. if u have creative block: the whole album but namely pet cheetah dot mp3 by twenty one pilots before u roll ur eyes at me just look up the lyrics and tell me im wrong

5. if ur just a woodland creacher that wants a gf: both albums by aurora 

6. if ur bi and repressed 2.0: the last shadow puppets (both albums but the 2nd one accompanied w the music videos especially)

7. if u are an aesthetic ho like me that finds wes anderson and david bowie both #aesthetic and #problematic at the same time, the only non-guilty pleasure that combines both is listening to seu jorge’s the life aquatic bowie covers it’s genuinely amazing i’d die for that man

8. if 2 of ur best friends got married and their first waltz was to a kishi bashi song, try his NPR live bc hes cute in it – they give him a stinky microphone and he cant beatbox!!!! free him

9. if ur fave hp character is luna lovegood just listen to kate bush (particularly hounds of love ofc) and kin real hard or idk. buy raddish earrings

10. if ur bi (3.0) and have trouble finding balance in ur gender expression, like am i femme am i butch am i just an art ho on a budget? janelle monae 2k18 has ur back. especially if u love prince and tessa thompson half as much as she does.

uhh i think those are all the big ones bonus points for if ur into (youtubers i guess?) dadaist humor (bill wurtz) or into ukuleles and being stuck in the past (most of dodie’s discography), or just very into russian synth pop and falsettos (VITAS). 50 minutes until 2019!!! eva i did it!!!!!!

#* #nervousnotion #tipsy honesty! love it! the only meela u can trsut #trust

[rosencrypt]

I saw Doctor Who!

Some impressions below the cut.

- Within the first 5 minutes, Moffat has Bill insult fat people and complain about brainless models. Classy.

- Bill is super gay. As gay as can be without ever actually using words like ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ or in any way explicitly acknowledging it :P

- I initially had ‘lesbianism as a lure’ down, because it seemed as though the alien mimic was pretending to be a fellow lesbian (Heather) to capture Bill. Which is obviously kind of iffy. But then it turned out that what’s actually happening is that Heather, while possessed (?) by an alien spaceship, is using the alien technology to find Bill because she likes her! Which is nice. I wonder if things seeming malicious but actually either being friendly or just acting according to their nature (’it’s not evil just hungry’) is going to be a theme this series. So far it seems more likely to be the opposite, with apparently friendly things (Emojibots, the consent pyramid) being dangerous (then agian, the Emojibots ARE just acting according to programming...), but we’ll see.

- Bill, like Clara and Amy etc., seems like another companion who is A Mystery (tm) - she’s adopted, and appears to be her own mother. Who are her parents?? Where did she come from? Is she The Master??? The Doctor says the TARDIS and his memories of River and Susan compelled him to come back for her, so does that mean they’re related??? Is she Susan’s granddaughter???? Or daughter, if we’re contridicting Big Finish canon????? Yeah obviously not but the question of her parentage remains. I was concerned the Vault was going to be a red herring and the real reason the Doctor took his lecturing post was so he could monitor Bill, but if he’s been there 50 years that wouldn’t make sense unless there’s Weird Plot Shit going on. Actually, what’s the bet that the photo, the Doctor, and Bill are part of a stable time loop - the future Doctor will take the picture in the 90s and contact his earlier self to tell him to come to Bristol and wait for her? Maybe Bill got lost in the past at the same time the Vault appeared.

...you know what, I’m definitely overthinking this, and what actually happened was that he was imagining River and Susan chiding him to be nicer (which seems odd for River, for whom compassion is not a defining character trait, but who cares a lot about a select few friends and her family...NO, stop thinking that, not everyone has to be related), and the TARDIS took a liking to Bill, which clinched it. It is odd that she hasn’t confronted him about the photo yet, though. Clearly they’re setting up another episode down the line.

- I like the Vault thing, but it’s a bit close to the Cabinet of Souls from Class. It’s also another of Moffat’s arbitrarily long time skips. Not there’s anything inherently wrong with that, but he does seem fond of them.

- Speaking of recycled plot devices, it’s another alien spaceship that wants a pilot (or is it a passenger? The episode seems confused).

- Wait, if Heather wasn’t possessed until just before she started turning into water/oil and stalking Bill, why was she acting so obviously suspiciously before? That didn’t look like acting awkwardly because of a crush; all the signs indicated she was already alienificationified. This episode covers...what, a term and a half? Did Bill and Heather develop their relationship at all off-screen? We only see them exchange about 100 words. I appreciate that Heather can’t be too relatable if Moffat is going to use the twist that she’s not evil, but the result is that the revelation she has a crush on Bill seems completely random. Would it have killed him to have her be just a bit more emotional? Or show her going through Bill’s Facebook pictures or something?

- What species exactly uses time-travelling sentient oil in their spaceships?? Ships that are accurate enough to detect anyone anywhere in all of time and track them literally anywhere within seconds? And the Doctor isn’t interested in finding out who they are and what they’re doing? That seems like a writing cop-out.

- Lots of Rose parallels here (chips, every day the same, single mother, Doctor-has-been-alone-for-a-while-and-here’s-a-new-special-person thing, etc.). Which makes sense; after last series, which had possibly the most continuity-heavy opening episode ever, this one has been marketed as a new beginning and an ideal first episode for new viewers. All this stuff worked in 2006, so it’s worth a go in 2017. Bill‘s mother doesn’t compare to Jackie, though.

- The alien spaceship is a pond! Oh, how clever you are, Mr. Steven :P

- The spaceship/Doctor and Heather/Bill parallels are pushed too, but that’s such a common episode concept I’m not going to complain about it.

- Why does the Doctor care about intelligence and stuff now? That's a bit mean. I like that he invited Bill in because of her curiosity, but his insistence that she attend every day at 6pm no matter what and warning that he’d dismiss her if she ever got lower than a First seem a tad demanding. One of the classic appeals of Doctor Who is that a companion could be anyone, even YOU, and adding an academic requirement spoils that fantasy. For that reason, I’m going to say Rose (the episode) is a more successful starting episode, simply because although both characters are relatable (both have dead-end jobs, both want more than their provincial lives, both meet the Doctor due to incidental run-ins with aliens and become his friends because they have some character trait he’s impressed with), I find it easier to imagine that I could survive an Auton invasion than that I could get a First on every essay for like 9 months.

- The Doctor 'educating' a black woman has potentially unfortunate implications. In context it seems basically fine - she wants to study at the university, he’s a lecturer; it makes sense - but I hope the teacher/student thing doesn’t become a running theme. It’s uncomfortably reminiscent of the Four/Leela ‘I will educate you out of your savagery, bemoaning your martial skills and ruthlessness even while I rely on them for my own benefit’ situation. ofc with Leela the ‘savage’ thing did become a term of endearment and source of banter between friends pretty quickly, but I’d rather they avoided the Pygmalion idea altogether tbh.

- These Daleks are completely incompetent. Not that that’s new, but 4 shots at Nardole, all of which miss?

- Why are they new series Daleks if this is the Movellan war?

- Ah, so the Movellans are only here as window dressing. That’s a disappointment. It’s like the classic Daleks in Asylum, the Cybermen in series 8 and Gallifrey in series 9; Moffat loves sort of bringing things back, but not actually using them at all in any meaningful way. I hope the Tenth Planet Cybermen (I hesitate to call them ‘Mondasian’, since ALL classic Cybermen are Mondasian in origin) are the focus of their episode rather than being similarly discarded.

- How many other contemporary Doctor Who stories have been set in Bristol? I believe this is the first at Bristol University, but if he’s been there the last 50 years he’s had to be very careful not to cross himself on any other visits. This also raises the question of how if he’s been there since the 60s and lecturing as the Doctor people like Rose, UNIT, the Master, LINDA etc. haven’t found him before. Isn’t Time Lord telepathy meant to be pretty good at that kind of thing? Like Clara being at Coal Hill School, it’s a one-off continuity gag that serves no real purposes and invites a lot of unfortunate questions.

- Bill and Nardole are fun. I liked the cinematography. The Vault is a neat series arc setup. All in all, I’m cautiously optimistic.

#ANDYPOSTS #DOCTOR WHO