#nothing coherent that's for sure

[tfisathoughtfulnickelbakeryfire]

This is a very niche observation, but Seungcheol kind of laughs like the father from the Willoughbys.

#what goes on #in this brain of mine #nothing coherent that's for sure #seventeen #scoups #seungcheol #the willoughbys #shitpost

[bucksbisexualawakening]

the progression from "there's a morning snack and a midday snack" and "20 bucks for pizza" buck looking after his friend's kid to "bobby's famous lasagne: 6 types of cheese cooked to perfection" buck cooking for his family to "that's makes me your sous chef" teaching his kid how to cook is making me go so feral.

#going from two separate things - like how normal friends who aren't co-parenting would organised it - to the most domestic thing ever #to being the good responsible parent and making sure he eats real food before cookies #AND and the motifs that've been established: teaching to cook as father/son bonding and cooking food as a demonstration of love #im UNWELLLLL #buckley diaz family #911 abc #right from the pilot buck has had an intense care for children (but was also immature himself) #and we've seen him grow into a person who is literally becoming a father. (alongside his increasing ability to cook - which he is learning #from his own father figure) #children - specifically caring for children and being a father - has been tied to very important parts of buck's character development #thoughout the seasons #that man wants nothing more than to be a father AND HE IS ONE. #i dont even know if what im saying is coherent anymore but you get my drift #season 6 911 #lynnsaysstuff

[starbuck]

the thing is, i know realistically that full time jobs take up a lot of people’s time, but that’s also hard for me to put in perspective while working full time AND doing school AND volunteering a bunch. Like. i very literally have no free time right now and the idea of ONLY working 40 hours a week sounds so luxurious to me… Like. imagine if work (that stayed at work) was my ONLY responsibility… if i could just come home and lounge?? unfair. obscene, even.

#i would be SO much more chill and get sooooo much reading done! #maybe i could even watch a show or something???? #but nooooooooo #gotta work work work all day long #at least i’m getting enough sleep #early bedtimes ARE something i’ve stuck to #could i be getting more done if i stayed up later? sure. #but it’d be lower quality and i’d be even LESS coherent for it #so it’s much better to get the sleep #maybe in 2029 i will know peace… (planning to finish my Master’s degree by 2028 at the latest) #just give me a secure full-time job with benefits and NOTHING ELSE #i’ll keep volunteering as much as i can but like. i just need DOWNTIME… literally ANY would be great #i had 101 assignments due in eight weeks this semester - that is fucking CRIMINAL #LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE 😭😭

[mymarifae]

stupid fucking titty window distracted me on my first few watches (don,xt talk to me ok) but he has his hand held behind his back here... clutching his chips for dear life.. hiding the way he's shaking.........

#oh kakavasha for a guy who actively risks his life in hopes that something will finally just fucking kill him #and who is so sure of the value of his life (nothing) you sure are very scared to die huh #think it's like. he wants to die because he doesn't want this life and given his track record it seems death is his only way out #but he wants A life #but he doesn't really believe that's possible at this point so he just gets more and more reckless #how far can he go until his lucky streak finally runs out...? #but he wants a life!!!!! why can't his luck ever give him the opportunity to claim his freedom and have A LIFE!!!!! #also he's just like. scared. natural fears #he doesn't want it to hurt. he doesn't want to suffer more right before he breathes his last breath #and he's scared of the unknown aspect of it. what's after this? where will his existence go? will anyone even remember him? #will anyone even care? #he seems to be more at peace with the unknown and the 'pointless' struggle against death after his conversation with acheron #now he just needs to finish surviving his last gamble.. and maybe he can have A life #ok brain turned off my blood sugar just dropped ibcan't finish this coherently #AVENTURINE. AUSGH

[p4nishers]

hc that every time (which was a lot. like a Lot) crowley missed aziraphale through the centuries but couldn't seek him out cause there wasn't really reason for him to he would just go to any event or place (like aziraphale's fav museum or play) he knew azi would be there at and just like stare at him from across the room. oh everyone's watching shakespeare's new play? crowley is right there at the very back (aziraphale is in the first row of course) doing nothing but staring a hole on aziraphale's head then walking out few minutes before the play ends so he wouldn't be seen. a new restaurant with aziraphale's favorite foods just opened? crowley is right there, hiding behind a piano and silently pining over the angel who's absolutely beaming and spreading love by just existence in a room with all his joy. a book signing by victor hugo or smth? crowley is behind a magazine watching the joy on aziraphale's face as he gets to shake the writers hand. crowley is dangerously close to melting to the floor. and this goes on and on until crowley is basically in every single place aziraphale is when he's not doing evil shit. just lurking lurkily. aziraphale never notices any of it.

#how doesn't aziraphale know about these you may ask?? uhhh *runs away* #idk man its 2:27 am i am not entirely sure this is even coherent dont ask me nothing about world building or whatever #crowley is sad and in love and aziraphale is living his best life while also being sad and in love #every single time crowley lays eyes on aziraphale he is so overcome with love and adoration he is sweating BULLETS tryna not blow shit up #good omens #ineffable husbands #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens s2 #crowley good omens

[outeremissary]

kasperia character journal please? 👀

Hi Romeo! Sorry this is a lil late (days later edit: now a lot late), time kind of stopped functioning for part of Friday, hahhh . Anyway some good luck on this one being the only one I have screenshots from while my laptop hangs between this world and the next! (days later edit: it's actually dead forever) Anyway, this was admittedly a bit of a cheat because it is a tabletop character journal, but it's a WIP to me and I like working on it. Counts!

Anywayyyy. I don't think it's actually been said on Tumblr at this point, but Kasander and Asperia are two parts of a dissociative identity disorder system (I don't know if this is too jargon-y an explanation...?). Not the only two, but the two who interface the most with the outside world and in some ways have the strongest feelings about "Asperia's" life. In tabletop, their journal is how they communicate with one another to mitigate the effects of losing time and to get some sense of coordination with what they're doing. On a meta level, it helps me track what each of them knows about game events and how they feel about each other (and any other alter who adds something to the journal). Relationships within the system aren't really something that generally makes sense to externalize into regular RP. The journal is a helpful way to develop that running self-exploration side plot without derailing what's happening in session.

It's been a really fun exercise in character voice. I love writing epistolary type stuff- Carmen's mission report character journal was one of my favorite parts of playing her back in 2019- so it's been very relaxing to me. Excited for our hiatus to end to gather more material for it. I've gotten a little off track from some original plans though- one significant concept I'd had going in was that Kasander's parts of the journal are written as direct letters to Asperia, while Asperia's were supposed to be written as a diary as if the other pages didn't exist. Stubborn willful ignorance from someone struggling to come to terms with their reality. Unfortunately, it's very fun to write things that are a little bit more communicative ^^;; I'll probably have to rewrite pieces of recent parts of the journal to be a bit more in line with that intent before adding the next chunk to our party's notes drive. Not a lot room to develop the twins' relationship over time if there's not much distance between the start and the end, after all.

With that said, some of the direct exchanges are very fun. Pros and cons.

It's also fun to think through what's tracked and what's omitted (intentionally or unintentionally). Kasander loves describing the cultural experience of a location but carefully skips mentioning having actually spent money on things. They're always on thin ice with the funds. Asperia keeps (mildly exaggerated) accounts of personal achievements but completely skips over failures, especially failures that involved injury to the body. She needs to communicate a sense of superiority- something that certainly works when Kasander apologizes profusely any time the body is hurt under their care.

(yeah it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a more "handwritten" font for the final thing but I've been having A Lot Of Regrets)

I unfortunately don't have a screenshot, but the journal has also had one small addition from Paracelsus as well. It's just a to-do list of ways to organize and restock the crafting supplies. Very typical of them. Asperia thinks he wrote it, like everything Paracelsus writes.

Also fun to get to work in some in-world explanations for things that raise some meta questions, like not having some items that I need for my character concept (I ran out of starting equipment budgettt). This bit is also consistent with the pattern that Asperia avoids referring to Kasander by name.

How common the two of them actually sabotaging each other's possessions is has yet to truly be established, but it is an aspect of what the party thaumaturge refers to as their "feud."

Pros over BG3: they are aware of and communicating each other, and they didn't have to have five near death experiences for it to happen. Yay!

Cons over BG3: lot more hostility from Asperia persisting past that point. Kasander did in fact ruin their life a little.

#I feel like this has a silly amount of explaining shit that has nothing to do with the actual thing. a thing that was itself a cheat. sorry! #on me for never finishing the character info post I meant to a month ago #at any rate 'asperia coping poorly' is a consistent theme between pf and bg3. asperia exists to excel in one environment #and it's a good thing that asperia excels in that! they've done a lot to make sure the system has survived all these years. #but being removed from that environment is hard. and so much of asperia's existence has always hinged on filling the gaps #being 'asperia' completely #knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt about kasander is terrifying. #still: they exist to protect one another. they always have. #is this still a tag game or is this now an ask game... god #tag game #ask me emithing #kasander #asperia #paracelsus #(mentioned. counts.) #baneschosen #sorry if you were searching for ye olde gate game it's uhhhh in a different ask. I've given up on posting them all at the same time #in favor of the goal of 'post them whenever so the anxiety doesn't win' #this draft was written in entirety a bit ago and I'm not fidgeting with it anymore. hopefully it's semi-coherent if not... whoops? #scheduled post #I think I lost the plot on how long these were supposed to be and this is way longer than it should be

[catastrxblues]

hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

#bridge to terabithia #how am i supposed to recover #i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess #i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean #i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now #i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts #and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t #because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me #and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing #so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah #my eyes feel so weird right now #also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case) #i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum #and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!! #and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!! #i like my ending better they really should change it #but no all and all the end was really beautiful #even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said #yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3 #i’m not sure what this is #but glad i could get it off my chest #let’s see how to tag how to tag #movies #just #childhood #whatever <3 #nadirants

[anarcho-masochist]

It really is like my brain went, "Wow, those are powerful intrusive thoughts you've got there. You know what's more powerful? Your desire to see this guy traumatized. Have 1.5 days of maladaptive daydreaming about them."

#I'm predicting this will continue for what's left of today #'pulled myself out of it' now but just enough to do things like post online and eat #I predict I'll return #I got up for the first time today (it's 7pm) and was suprised at how weak and shaky i felt #thought 'it is almost as if I experienced everything from the daydream. the power of one's mind over their physical well-being truly is #exceptional isn't it?' and then realized since I hadn't gotten up today I hadn't eaten and 'breakfast' was in the daydream #(was having trouble remembering whether it was or wasn't) #and of course knew I hadn't yesterday save for breakfast #which was real. I ate it outside and it was nice. #oh yeah and yahto fronted for like 10 minutes earlier but all he did was respond to our friend on the main blog and then we switched again #So it really has been a solid 1.5 days of nothing but daydreaming #Not about Cedar this is about the other one #Cedar also featured prominently. He just wasn't the main draw. #It was a coherent plotline but I wouldn't tell not-cedar the details of it on pain of death #I need something to call this person other than “not-cedar” or just using pronouns that WILL NOT communicate to them that it's them #And it's technically people not person but I don't know which they prefer #100% of people I've gotten obsessed with are also plural (all 2 of them) (or 14(?) depending on how you count it) #(Actually. Since I'm specifically obsessed with Cedar not his whole system it's more like 6? people) #(I'm not sure if there's a particular alter I like the most in the second system)

[aeide-thea]

an impulse i don't get—

or rather, so as not to be disingenuous, an impulse i get perfectly well but strongly dislike when i'm faced with it, which means i need to reexamine it in myself when i generate it—

is the impulse to sit in judgment about What Counts As Queer. like. yeah, okay, i do get it really, we're all disempowered by hegemonic culture and setting ourselves up as petty kings shores up our egos! but if there's anything i've loved about discovering queerness in and for myself, it's been the realization that there were worldviews beyond my own—and that there still are, almost certainly! that the world is a firework show of exploding possibility, and that i and my current understanding of myself and everyone else are just one bright spark in a whole connected series of them, and that more will come after me, bringing new colors and configurations to my field of vision, if i just keep my eyes open…

and so i just always feel. god. how close-minded, to shut your eyes to someone else's vision of queerness, to say not just 'that isn't a version of queerness that i recognize or feel represented by,' but to say categorically, 'that isn't queer'! if someone's saying in all sincerity, 'this feels alien to the framework i grew up with, and exciting or comforting or both to me'—i want to hear them out, and make space in my own understanding for a multiplicity of queernesses. i'm not always perfect at it! but i want to.

because what's the alternative? join with the biphobes and transphobes who would've said my gq4gq relationship with my transfem ex was really just straight, or at least enough of a union of opposites for government work? join with the aphobes and arophobes who are constantly insinuating that if you're not actively sucking or fucking, you're a square—never mind those of us who are isolated, or traumatized, or anxious, or any of the thousand other reasons why our queerness might not be siting itself in sex or romance, right now or ever! join with the people who sneer at poly and flinch from kink, as if reexamining those relational conventions were somehow cleanly separable from reexamining all the other ones—as if we should want it to be?

anyway, this is about a lot of things, really, and at least one of them i pretty actively don't want to talk about in specific; but i just think, god, i wish we could all learn a little more generosity, and a little more humility. we know the world, and the human heart, encompass more than is dreamt of in kyriarchal philosophy; why then are we so resistant to the idea that they might also encompass more than is dreamt of in our own? movement after movement of queers have come, and built, and been built upon in turn; our personal convictions are not, i feel certain, the final course to be laid down on the great work of enlightenment and liberation—and how depressing it would be, if they were!

#there's an invisible Works Referenced here that includes a post i keep not reblogging bc it's too aggro #but it's about like. there's no single masculinity or femininity #similarly i think. there's no single queerness‚ because there's no single straightness; it's a complex construction—constriction— #and so our resistance to it must necessarily be equally complex‚ to meet it where it crops up and set it aflame #and so like. just because something isn't your queerness‚ or mine‚ doesn't mean it can't be someone else's! #there's something else i was thinking of‚ too‚ but i forgot it already‚ lol #this isn't the like. clearly-structured post i wanted to write‚ i got mad and florid instead #and i expect i've left out some of what i meant #but like. sometimes you—i—have to just run with that‚ or else express nothing at all… #anyway i just think like. yeah‚ models of maybe-queerness we see in the world might wound us‚ or anyway look as though they might! #it's a possibility! #but what's not a possibility‚ but a certainty‚ is that the rhetoric i've seen used to *dismiss* various representations #as Not Queer Enough #has for SURE wounded me! and almost certainly wounded others who've just curled up silently and said nothing about it! #anyway. idk. 'NOT HET BUT HETERODOX‚' proclaims my protest sign #is this coherent without specifying all its context? maybe not. but the fundamental stance isn't contextual for me— #it's something i think is important to uphold‚ and where i fail at it (which i do!)‚ to give myself a good hard squint #and work out how to realign my reactions with the principles i actually want guiding them #anyway. good morning‚ lmao. have a diatribe

[ohitslen]

“Easy to care, easy to love” chapter 2 is now up folks! ✨✨

And for that here I bring you a preview of it :)

Im having an absolute blast with this one in all honesty

#I am solely doing this because it’s fun and nothing else and boy has my life been easier #I try to keep it at least decently coherent but my only purpose here is to make them fall in love that’s IT #oUH girLs jUsT wAnNa hAve FUn you feel me??? keeping up with the fluff frfr #this is the best thing ever for me I love miss Melanie I need to show it I HAVE TO SHOW IT #oh the kids I’ll make sure to make them add to the story kids are so funny the ppl have to know #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vash #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #trigun stampede #vashwood #trigun fanfiction #trigun fic #lenssi writes #easy to care.easy to love

[smalltownfae]

Fun asks ahoy ✨

1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11:D

Thank you for the asks. I will do like you and put it under read more since this definitely will end up being too long.

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Preschool: There were so many creative activities in preschool and because it made me try so many things it made me discover my love for art and writing, especially. When I started the first year of school I got a library card which also made me discover a love for reading. Attending preschool also gave me the tools needed to tolerate others and learn to cooperate even with someone I don't like. It also gave me a little trauma, but that is not something for the public...

Cosplay Events: My teenage years were definitely the most awful years of my life until I was 16. At that age things got a little better because I finally met someone that made me aware that other people that liked anime and manga existed and there were even events where they dressed up as the characters and made art about it and everything. It seems odd nowadays because it seems to be a popular thing now, but there were very few events in my country and most of them were free at the time. It was just a way for all the nerds to get together and have fun and that's what I did too. People think they want to be unique, but I don't think anyone that was actually outside of the norm at one point wishes for that. I was lucky enough to have had one friend that shared my tastes since primary school, but being considered weird was still extremelly lonely. Not that I wished to be like everyone else around me, but I wanted to be liked. Living in a small town full of people with retrogade ideas while growing up was hell. Being able to go to the capital city often and making friends saved me from growing up bitter. I was so happy to find out that people like me existed. They just happened to be in a different city. Another thing we all seemed to have in common was the bullying we suffered in our schools so going to cosplay events and meetups was our safe space. At this time I was also on DeviantArt participating in manga events and meeting other artists. Knowing that I wasn't alone in my weirdness gave me hope for the future.

My first trip outside my country: In your answer you said you wanted the perspective of someone that never moved places so I can tell you that it made me very careful and fearful of many things. I am not the kind to take many risks (unless I am on a weird day because I swear that sometimes I am possessed by something that would rather die than be bored) and I need some sense of security and that can be provided by a place or a person. On my first trip outside my country I was so nervous because I had never gotten into an airplane and I went alone. I went to stay with a friend that moved to London and we were supposed to hang out all the time when I got there. However, I spent most of my visit alone since my friend didn't got the vacation for those days. I would like to thank my best friend google maps and the amazing transportation of London. Portugal wishes it had transports that efficient. I had to get by on my own and even though I felt lonely at times I was still happy to explore a new place and I even talked briefly with a few strangers. I still got to hang out with my friend when she got out of work at the end of every day. This made me a little more independent and also gave me a love for travel even though I found London a bit disappointing (my expectations were too high). It also showed me that when left alone I didn't know how to feed myself. Now, I plan those things much better because let me tell you that my stomach on that trip wasn't happy about the crap I was eating at lunch everyday.

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

I am sure we have some, but I remember nothing at the moment, sorry. It's usually some portuguese meme that we parrot around.

6. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

As a creator that seldom creates, this is really hard to answer. I guess the best part is finding other creators that love something as much as I do and also to find people that appreciate what I do. The worst part would be negative comments and harassment, but I don't usually get those so... oh, having no reaction to what I post can hurt sometimes too, but I create mostly for myself and I am aware that the things I love aren't that popular in the great scheme of things to begin with.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

No. I seldom dream. When I remember my dreams they are usually weird and nightmarish like the fans on the floor that were cutting everyone's legs. I think I dreamed that I was falling from the sky at least twice in my entire life though because I remember once actually falling from the bed and another time when I woke up breathing heavily and grabing the corners of my bed.

9. tell a story about your childhood

One of the childhood moments I remeber the best is when I went to the beach with my parents and some of my family when I was really young. I don't remember my exact age, but I wasn't in school yet so probably 4 or something. One of my older cousins told me to go fetch water so we could build a sand castle and sent me on my way with my little bucket and nothing else because it was supposed to be a short trip. Turns out my sense of orientation has sucked since birth so I got to the water and filled my bucket, but somehow failed to find the way back to the towels where everyone was. I remember walking for what it felt like hours without a hat or shoes and at one point the sand started to burn because it does that around midday, when it's too hot in the summer. I remember that at one point I just splashed the water from my little bucket on my feet because I was in pain, but I never stopped walking even though I was crying and who knows where I was going. A nice couple found me and I remember the man held me in his arms and that's when my feet felt some sort of relief. Then they went looking for my parents and they found them eventually since my parents and the rest of my family were also looking for me. My mom has at least one more story of me getting lost as a kid, but this is the one I remember and the one I was lost for a long time.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Damn, I just posted a quote from the Buried Giant about something similar hahaha Romantic love is very hard for me to define. When I was a teenager I thought I had it figured out because that was what most people seem to consider romantic love. The first person I ever liked wasn't only physically attractive, but was also my friend. That is what I would consider the whole package haha I would talk to them everyday and wonder what they were doing all the time and I would feel jealous if they liked someone or got with someone. Looking back it looks more like an obsession than love. I once had a friend that was in love with me and told me I had never been in love. It could be the butthurt of rejection talking, but maybe he was right. I honestly have no idea if I have ever been in love because I can't really define it. Right now I am in a weird situation. I am not really dating, but I have something (let's call it that). I don't feel jealous of other people that hang out with this person nor do I feel the need to talk to them or see them all the time, but it still feels nice when we are together.

Honestly, there are a billion definitions of romance and different people would provide different answers. All of this to say that I have no idea of what my own definition is and maybe I will never know. I decided to let things happen since I have bigger troubles than romance at the moment. That is another thing. What people usually call romance is also associated to stressful things to me. It's probably because of the examples I have had growing up. People are always afraid of being cheated on or jealous if their partner hangs out with others and such. Honestly, it looks way too troublesome for me to deal with so I do not want it to be like that and I also want to mantain some of my freedom.

#fun asks #andy answers #damn this was too long and I am not sure I was coherent #I am too lazy to reread so I apologize for that #I talk and talk and talk and say nothing meaningful haha

[camelspit]

ship bingo stina x linh

in my head this ship can be soo silly you don't understand. stina encouraging the violent/angry side of linh. linh taking her encouragement to heart.. going too far.. I think this ship could end in ruin for both of them.

#This is mostly based on stellarlune since i think thats where they interact the most #stina encouraged linhs anger towards rayni and tam #she did nothing but add fuel to the fire #if this were to go on for a longer period of time.. #if their trust were to deepen. if linh started taking this and looking beyond just personal relationships. #i think theres something in stina helping linh relearn how to be angry #linh villain arc.. #stina realizing its gone too far with her empath abilities but not sure how to stop the spiral #not sure if she wants to stop it because that could ultimately mean losing linh #thinking that perhaps linhs anger is still justifed? no matter how she takes it out on the world #after all. she encouraged this didnt she? she wanted this? #these thoughts are probably very incoherent but idk how to be coherent about them! #banging my head on the wall #kotlc #stinh

[kxllerblond]

stepping up aggressively to the mic: i've talked a lot about clark's prejudice against vampires being pure projection of his own dislike towards the parts of him that has to feed on other living things to maintain his immortality and just in general the parts of himself he hates but have i also talked about how he's drawn to them for the same reasons. :)

#something something nature fighting nurture yields nothing but a lot of #issues and tension lmAO #he'll spit venom three ways to sunday about them but then like he will not shut up about them and will mention them constantly #he'll be obnoxious and mean but then would probably explode anyone that tried to perma gank any he knows #i could never write anything super coherent and formal but im pretty sure he envies them to some degree #not the old cliche dramatic murder machines ones those he loathes beyond just them being vamps lol #but just the ones that are like....creatures of instinct or just forces of nature in a way. #because he CANT be that no matter how much grace or control he exhibits #sticking with the silly theme of duality on this blog he is always walking that line between. neither human neither not and so i think #idk. he envies these creatures that started human and managed to transition to something else #and who are just comfortable and at ease in their role and existence #while he's just stuck as something Neither and Other #like shifters and werewolves tho vamps tech are pretty compatible with him if he stopped being a brat tbh #they have that experience of being human once and then not. #and while thats not perfectly clark's experience since he's a monster raised human. they still have that experience of both worlds ykno #if that makes sense. sorry i just. im really in my clark feels tonight

[sparring-spirals]

im having a delightful time liveblogging and am also very interested in whats going on but im also. so sleeby. sooo sleeby fuckin tired. this might have unanticipated effects. like sleep

#so im either gonna wipe out soon or the coherency is gonna degrade FAST AND ill wipe out #three hour round trip commute rlly does that to u #spar speaks #ok probably gonna wipe out if im being realistic. im sure NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN IN THE REMAINING HOUR AND A HALF. RIGHT. right. excellent

[impossible-rat-babies]

*is tormented by eyrie and zenos 24/7*

#rent free!! RENT FREE JUST 24/7 IN THE BRAIN #nothing coherent it’s just THEM #they’ve taken over my brain #I’m still poking at timeline stuff but depending on the rest of 6.5 it might be that they meet up again after #between then and dawntrail might be where a lot of stuff gets set #but it’s been over a year since eyrie was in shit health when they sent Zenos off #boy Howdy I sure do love working with hypotheticals #Owen plays ffxiv

[liloinkoink]

emerald duo…..…. my emerlads, if you will

#i have no coherent thoughts i am just thinking about them #says words #the other day friend called me ‘known emerald duo enjoyer’ and despite the fact it is a nothing statement i have been giddy about it #yes associate me with emduo this is good. i’m getting a good grade in ??? personality. not sure