#not that i actually think i have a brain tumour | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angryschnauzer · 2 months

Text

19th February 2024

An update.

Hubby has finished his radiotherapy. It seemed like a long 6 weeks, and its taken its toll on him with extreme fatigue. He was also on a mild dose of chemotherapy at the same time, that thankfully didn't come with any side affects such as nausea, but he was on anti sickness meds for that.

He'll now have about 4 weeks off all treatment to allow his body to recover and to try and regain some strength. But during those 4 weeks he'll have some tests and MRI's to see if the tumour is growing back.

Then from mid march he will have 6 rounds of strong chemotherapy, with one week on, three weeks off. This will be a much stronger dose so the nausea side affects may be considerably more than the small dose he had with his radiotherapy.

What we don't know is what the prognosis is. We don't know if he has 6 months, 18 months, 5 years, whatever. And now we aren't told either. They wont be pinned down to a 'you have x amount of months left' because its been found this is much more detrimental to patients mental health (and also their families) as if the patent passes away before then there is resentment that the prognosis was wrong, or if the patient lives longer there is also resentment as to 'why did we rush to do the bucket list' when i actually had more time.

This however is impacting my mental health. The uncertainty of what the future holds, and what plans i can make for the future. There are trips with our son's school that i've had to ask the school to make special exceptions for us with where we'd like a space reserved but can't commit to it. Same with any sort of commitment or plan for the future.

Hubby however is fairly relaxed about it all. I honestly think he thinks its going to be cured. He plans on going back to work from start of March, but working the equivalent of 1 day a week spread over 5 days, so around 2 hours a day. This would be working remotely from home, and i do support this as he needs something to concentrate on, but its hard to imagine what future life is going to be like. He can't drive for another 2.5 yrs (one year after his seizure, and then 2 after radiotherapy because it was on his brain), so he won't be able to commute into the office anyway by car, and he can't go via train as he can't carry a bag because of his reconstruction surgery on his shoulder.

Thankfully his employers have been wonderful about this, and we are covered for the bills financially as well but will have to tighten our belts with a lot of things. I'm still trying to work and keep my business going, but finding the time to do so is tough as i'm now basically a full time carer for two people; my son and my husband. (The government doesn't consider the work i do for them 'enough' to pay an allowance though').

So that's were we're at. We've had a lot of other shit thrown at us since the start of the year too, but its not as important as the situation with my husband so that's what i'll keep you updated on.

103 notes · View notes

criticsstuff · 1 year

Text

Counting the seconds (Series)

Addison Montgomery x freader

Chapter 1: seconds

Words: 1444

Summary: Back in Seattle you’re not just dealing with a tumour, you met a amazing woman that is eventually going to change your life.

Warnings: in this chapter none but swearing, later I promise you smut, angst, cheating and more.

Updates: Weekly

A/n: This is my first fanfic and English is not my first language. I’m sry if something isn’t perfect. Anyway my first project will be a series obviously. I just thought I’m going to start with something big. And I’m open for requests ;)

Navigation Part2 Part 3 Part4

—————————————————————

Rain pooling down the drained window like the tears you kept in, now freely falling. Too long you were standing there, just staring at the wall, the floor, the ceiling. Funny isn’t it ? How fast time can run, chasing the long gone minutes.

Shit, I don’t wanna be late- you thought. You grabbed the few things you haven’t packed jet and stumbled out the door.Your flight to Seattle in 2 hours is leaving your throat dry. But to be totally honest you’re excited to see them again. Mer and Arizona were pushing you to visit them again. Yeah, anyway now you’re the one pushing with a tumour housing in your brain.

Lifting your large luggage off the ground and on the treadmill, to finally get checked in, is the last thing you do before you sit on the plane and lay your safety belt on. 6 hours feel long, so high above the ground. You’re not willing to stay awake the whole flight, so you shut your eyes, slowly drifting off as you hear the soft humming of the plane getting quieter.

****

After being undisturbed for almost the whole flight you finally wake up. The tall, slightly scary looking man sitting next to you, wasn’t too thrilled by the crying toddler a few seats ahead and decided to murmur and huff complaints in his beard. You use the left time to think about Seattle, to be more concrete you think about the people in Seattle, your people.

You haven’t seen them too often, after Derek died. It just hadn’t felt right to come and visit, you should’ve, now that you think about it. The distance being so short, makes you miss them even more. But this time you visit not just as a friend, you’re a patient. The word never scared you -patient- it sounds so small. Now you’re the patient and it scares the hell out of you. Why?

The plane is about to land and you’re about to see your friends. Stepping of the plane, you lift your head and take a deep breath , inhaling the fresh air seeping trough your lungs. It feels okay to be back, maybe even great.

You pick up your luggage and leave the airport to get a taxi. You already talked to Meredith about your visit and she gladly offered you to crash at her house. Not wanting to spend your first day back in some random hotel, you accepted thankful .

The ride was calm and you thought about ways to don’t make the reunion awkward. You couldn’t blame Mer to be mad. You just left and barely even called. As the taxi neared the location you couldn’t shake off the nervousness climbing up your throat. Too long you were gone, too long you missed mer.

You paid the taxi driver and left the car, headed to her front door, gulping down a not exisiting knot. You counted the steps you made and took one last long breath before you knocked. It didn’t took long for the blonde women to walk down the stairs, straight to the door.

She looked at you, she nearly stabbed you with her sharp stare. Probably you would’ve end up running if she hadn’t stopped looking at you like that . Instead of the nearly cold stare she offered you one of her smiles. „Well, look who decided to actually visit.“ she grinned at you, taking your wrists pulling you in a warm embrace. „I missed you.“ you murmured in her hair hugging her even tighter.

„No need to strangle me!“ she laughed pushing you inside. „You can have your old room back.“ she said practically dragging you and your luggage up the stairs. You missed this. You couldn’t wait to see the others. „I will probably spend the whole time in the hospital.“ you mentioned tapping on your head. To point out the thing with the tumour chilling in your brain.

„Yeah, probably.“ she whispered turning around to look at you. You just looked at each other sharing unspoken words. You were both scared, even if you wouldn’t say it out loud. You shake your head trying to throw the odd feeling away.

„Anyway, today is the day. So hospital is my next stop, do you mind coming with me later?“ you asked trying to lighten the mood. „Of course, I have a shift later so it’s perfect. How about we two catch up ?“ she ask throwing herself on your bed. You smiled, laying next to her.

****

There you were, walking trough the hallways of the grey Sloan memorial hospital, with Mer on your left and Arizona on your right side. In every step you made, laid fear. Would you walk out again? Would you survive? You were promised on of the greatest neurosurgeons, one that ist going to help you. And hopefully save you.

„Here we are. You can settle in and Dr. Shepherd will be here in a bit.“ Arizona told you smiling. „Thank you, see you two later.“ you said reaching your bed and laying your stuff on it. They walked out, looking happy to have you again, even as a patient.

You took your clothes and put them in your wardrobe, feeling kinda weird. Obviously you aren’t used to live in a hospital. Finished with organizing your things you sat on the bed, staring at your hands. Damm it, why would you of all people get a tumour?

Clicking heels break your thoughts, urging you to look up. A woman with dark long hair walked in, smiling , with a nervous looking man by her side. “Hello there. Deluca would you mind presenting?”she questioned even if it wasn’t a question. “But make it simple.” you said, not wanting to hear more than needed.

He nodded “ 28, female, with a tumour in her head. Here for a final removal of the tumour.” presented the young man fast, holding your chart in his hands. “So Y/N the plan is that I will observe your tumour over the next couple of days. We will make daily tests to make sure we don’t miss anything and after that you can say your final goodbyes to the tumour.“ Dr Shepherd told you looking at the charts.

„Sounds good“ you said trying to smile not really happy with your long stay at the hospital. „Can you change, I would like to do a Ct.“ she added, looking at you with kind eyes.

****

After spending two days in the hospital, you got bored staying in your room all day. Deciding to stop sulking around you got up and found things to do. Currently walking down the hallway with Mer, to kill your boredom, you saw her.

Orange locks effortlessly laying on her shoulders, confidence laying in her step as she made her way towards you. Addison Montgomery, yeah you knew her. Well you never really talked but, the beautiful woman was well known across your friends. You stopped, not daring to come one step near her. So as she stopped in front of you and Mer, piercing right trough you with her daring eyes, she knocked your breath right out of you.

„Hey, Addison“ Mer smiled at her. But Addison was still looking at you tilting her head with a curious smile. „And you are?“ she questioned. You couldn’t stop looking at her, she was literally perfect. She raised her eyebrows, wondering why you wouldn’t answer. „That’s Y/N, you might have seen her before. She is a really good friend of mine.“ Meredith answered for you, chuckling at your loss of words. At that you took your self together trying to get at least one word out, not wanting to look like a complete fool. „What she said.“ you said looking anywhere but at her.

Addison smiled clearly amused by the strange behaviour you showed. „What are you two up to?“ she asked still smiling, lifting her hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. „Walking.“ was all you said trying to find a way to leave this conversation as fast as possible. „Yeah, I see that.” she remarked holding her laughter back. „Y/n here, is bored so she forced me to go on a hospital walk with her.” Mer mentioned looking at you, acting annoyed to tease you. „How about you go on walk with Y/n ? I’m sure she wants to get to know you.” she asked Addison, clearly trying to kill you.

Before anyone could say a word, you turned around. „You know what, I forgot I’m pretty busy dealing with my tumour. I have to go!” you announced, already running of. Leaving the two women stunned behind.

#Addison #Montgomery #addison montgomery #women #gay #grey’s anatomy #arizona #series #w|w #meredith grey #smut #Addison x Reader #addison montgomery x reader #Grey’s anatomy images #Grey’s Anatomy x Reader #female reader

379 notes · View notes

luna-rainbow · 7 months

Note

i don't know if you've been asked about this before but do you think bucky suffers seizures because of hydra? if yes, did they start while being under hydra or after getting freed??

Thanks for the ask!

I think this is one of those things that you can headcanon either way because there’s enough in canon to justify either reading of it.

A few things to set the scene:

Seizures can be provoked (from an acute medical event) or unprovoked, although unprovoked seizures can also be due to an underlying cause (e.g. tumours or brain injuries). In general, provoked seizures occur only with the acute medical event, and does not develop into epilepsy (unless that medical event causes structural damage to the brain)

Epilepsy is defined as 2 unprovoked seizures or 1 unprovoked seizure with an underlying structural cause that significantly increases the risk of a 2nd seizure (e.g. tumours, TBIs)

There are things that Bucky experiences under Hydra that can heighten his risk for developing seizures

Bucky has the serum, which theoretically should heal any structural causes for epilepsy over time

Firstly, in order to join the military, Bucky did not have epilepsy (as it's one of the exclusions), which means if Bucky does later have seizures, it is acquired, i.e. something occurred to cause him to have seizures. People can develop epilepsy as an adult with no underlying structural cause and it's not actually uncommon (I'm reading something up to 60% of adults with epilepsy have no cause found) - but for the sake of the discussion and the fact that he has the serum on board, we'll say that he doesn't have an inherent predisposition for seizures.

Secondly, there are a number of things that increases Bucky's chance of having a symptomatic seizure and having epilepsy.

Traumatic brain injury, e.g. from the initial fall, assaults, repeated concussion etc

Acquired brain injury, e.g. from having his basal ganglia dissected (thanks Black Widow), from repeated electrocution, from repeated cryostasis, from Steve strangling him until he loses consciousness...

Metabolic derangement, e.g. from severe dehydration/starvation or as part of severe illness

Drug toxicity or withdrawal, e.g. excessive amphetamine/cocaine (as often given to soldiers), or withdrawal from benzodiazepine or certain classes of painkillers

There has been no evidence that ECT causes epilepsy. However, there is evidence that electrocution with injury to the central nervous system can cause epilepsy.

I feel like I've seen headcanons on why a) Bucky can walk off the Widow’s stinger like it’s nothing when even Nat gets knocked out by it; and b) Rumlow’s weapon of choice against Steve is electric rods. I tend to agree with guesses that Bucky probably experienced electrocution enough to develop some tolerance to it -- but over time that can certainly cause structural damage to the brain. Similarly, cutting into the brain to look at the basal ganglia would also definitely leave scarring that would precipitate seizures.

(Okay I know this is not the question and this answer is getting super long already, but can I just say this 2 second scene gets to me every time? Nat says "Ow, that does sting" when she uses it on herself later. Bucky tears it off with his bare hand. Does it not hurt? Of course it hurts. His metal arm is immobilised from that shock, and his entire arm is metal which feeds the whole shock into his body. The only acknowledgement he affords himself is to shake that arm out to get it back in working order. More than the unstoppable "Terminator"-like threat, this is someone who's backed against a cliff. Pain is not an option. Stopping is not an option. There is just him, against the rest of this noisy, chaotic, meaningless world, fighting an endless battle...until that mask comes off and he's given a name.)

For practicality’s sake though, I think Hydra would have been cautious to avoid giving Bucky brain damage that was severe enough to cause epilepsy. The unpredictability of epilepsy is the reason it's often an exclusion criteria for commercial licenses and operating heavy machinery and, in Bucky's case, flying planes and firing semi-automatic weapons. It's certainly not desirable in someone they've deemed "the Asset" whom they bring out when everything else fails. Alternatively, they might have figured out how long Bucky's brain needed to heal before sending him out to be operational again (but this still means they would avoid causing epilepsy if they can). This doesn't mean they won't place him in situations that can cause provoked seizures though - i.e. the drug toxicity/withdrawal and severe malnutrition and severe illness/infection type scenarios.

During his recovery phase, I think drug withdrawal and severe malnutrition (i.e. if he's not aware of how to feed himself) are possible causes of seizures. The risk is only high during a fairly short period of time (a couple of days) though and he is likely to be very, very unwell. If you're wanting to write him having seizures months down the track, one possibility might be he was on a cocktail of anti-seizure medications under Hydra (although I'd still wince at letting him touch a machine gun or a plane in that state) and he now no longer had access to those, so he continues to have seizures from structural brain damage (take your pick). My headcanon is that ultimately his brain will heal and the epilepsy would resolve.

And finally, are we ready for a conversation about pseudoseizures (non-epileptic or psychogenic seizures)? They are often associated with psychiatric conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD and dissociative disorders, all of which Bucky would have reason to have.

#bucky barnes #medical meta #bucky barnes meta #new angst just dropped!#the angst that keeps on angsting #asks

87 notes · View notes

starlightseraph · 3 months

Text

on two of the most controversial episodes of house md

the asexuality episode:

mixed feelings. it’s often brought up a lot as a total swing and miss but idk about it being completely wrong. i’m a-spec myself (demi) and the way he talks about it is weird, but this is something that genuinely happens. one of the symptoms of damage in that area of the brain is lack of sexual feelings, and some people will simply never develop a sense of sexuality, completely unaware that they actually have a brain tumour. nearly all asexual people are just ace without any particular cause, so there’s no reason to worry unless you have other concerns or health issues.

so anyways. i think that it was a plausible medical story, because it does happen. traumatic brain injuries, seizures, tumours, certain medications, hypoxia, pregnancy/birth complications, strokes, all of these can lead to absence of or reduced sexual urges.

my issue is the way he reacts to it, as if this guy has to have some illness and he can’t just be asexual. i know that house only acts that way because his immediate reaction to everything is to be as offensive as possible, and he wants to find something interesting to make a bet on with wilson, but it’s still uncomfortable.

i guess it turned out alright for the patient? it’s good that he finds out about the tumour and can get it treated, because even a benign tumour can be life threatening or become cancerous. still, though, not great.

the (first) intersex episode:

yeah ok no justification for this one. what was going through the minds of the writers?? like the basic story had potential but they went and made it creepy as fuck and wrote house’s reactions in a way that’s harsh, even for him. his insults are generally just defensive and clearly not meant in a discriminatory way. he treats everyone badly all the time, so his words are almost never based in actual bigotry. but his treatment of the patient in this episode is extreme, and he goes way beyond his normal limits. it doesn’t even fit well with his character, it’s just so purely mean spirited. so yeah fuck this one.

#house is actually a social leftist if you think about it #actually one of the most groundbreaking and inclusive shows ever #so these were some very dumb writing choices #hate crimes md #normally they’re fun hate crimes but not in these eps #house md #hilson #gregory house #hugh laurie #james wilson #rsl #robert sean leonard #starlightseraph’s brainrot

48 notes · View notes

stxrdust-widow · 10 months

Text

Ok controversial Bones opinion apparently, but I didn’t think that they ruined her character once she got pregnant like ☹️ I keep seeing people saying they couldn’t watch after season 6/7 because Brennan was so different but like, was she really? I don’t think it was out of character for her to have kids, even though she didn’t want them in the first few seasons, but apparently we’re all forgetting that people can change their minds, not to mention the fact that Brennan was already actively planning on getting pregnant at the end of s4 and might have gone through with it had Booth not had the brain tumour.

I don’t think having kids changed her character as drastically as people claim, but instead maybe created another side to her character. And I don’t think getting with Booth undid any of her character arc either. It certainly was a different dynamic than their pre-relationship, but I still liked it. I’m a sucker for love I guess. I mean, I certainly wish that the way they ended up together was a little different and that we could have seen the moment that their romantic tension finally broke, but I’ll take what I can get. I actually enjoyed watching her learn to trust in Booth as her romantic partner as well as her work partner, because she’d never been open to furthering a romantic relationship before, and I liked seeing her come into her own and maybe heal a little bit of her trauma by being in a loving, supportive relationship and being able to reciprocate with her children as well (if that makes sense).

Also, I’m not saying that a couple has to have kids to be complete, because fair if you don’t want any- they’re a huge commitment and not to everyone’s liking lol- but I feel that Booth and Bones would have ended up with at least one anyways had Emily Deschanel not have been pregnant post s6. It may not have been in the traditional way, but it’s already established canonically that Bones wanted a kid like??? And yes, I headcanon that once she and Booth settle in their careers a little more, they start fostering- would have been nice to see on the show but a girl can dream.

Anyway long story short I believe in character development and I don’t think Bones’ character development was destroyed in the later seasons.

Also, please ignore this rant. Just needed to get it out ig.

#my ramblings #might delete later #bones tv #bones x booth #temperance brennan

40 notes · View notes

theholypeanut · 9 months

Text

Isekai’ed into Kuroko no Basket? AND IN YŌSEN?

Isekai genre - when someone (usually an adult girl) dies in her life (usually by being hit by truck-kun) and gets reincarnated into a novel she read (usually with multiple male leads and steamy romance, also usually fantasy world)

Certain pre-isekai life assumptions: “You” are not from Akita, or any other north city of Japan, also AFAB character pre and post isekai

Comedy crack piece, cw: swearing and being mean about knb characters, simping for Daddy Harasawa

- U came back from your university wanting to just die from amount of work and studying you had to do

- You are just a casual student, not so great, not so bad, and for stress relief you read lots of sports mangas bc of pretty sweating boys

- You decided to go to the convenience store for some instant ramen, what is a main core of your diet, and then, in your least favourite sweatpants and dirty t-shirt, u get hit by a truck

- Thinking “well at least I don’t have to give the assignment tomorrow for econ” u just waited if they have anime in hell

- And then you open your eyes, and it’s not your bed, not your room

- Actually it was a very nice neat room, looked like belonged to some teenage girl, which is also kinda alarming, that someone like this rescued a wounded adult person who looked like a homeless beggar

- However you don’t feel any pain, which is weird considering you just get hit by a truck. You sit up and noticed that u look a little… skinnier? Also your hands looked diff- Hold up.

- You looked into the mirror and it was not your reflection

- Even worse, after all you assumed if you wake up in some other body, at least this time you’d be extremely pretty with big boobs and nice ass but no luck - you were pretty but also pretty plain. Also very young

- You saw a cute uniform hanging next to your mirror and got war flashbacks. It was not your high school uniform but the fact that it was here suggests that…

- …. You have to go back to school and you’d really rather just die, even if the uniform is pretty

- After eating breakfast with not-your-parents and wearing this pretty not-your-uniform, you fished for some information from them - which wasn’t hard bc they were very excited that you are starting your high school life today, in this prestigious Catholic school, that is well known from western influences and good food. But somehow they never told you the name.

- You tried to pretend to be very clumsy and asked not-your-parents “So what’s the name of my school again?”

- They looked at you like you are a cat who does silly tricks and not-your-mom said “Silly, how could you forget? You go to Yosen now”

- You froze. This name sounded too familiar, especially with your cute uniform. Hold up. If this is this Yosen then…

-“WAIT WE ARE IN AKITA?” You yelled with despair. At this point your parents were wondering if you have brain damage, bc how could you forget where you lived your whole life?

- U somehow convince your parents that you don’t have brain tumour or got concussed during the night, and you just had a very strange dream about living in Tokyo and confused reality with dreaming

- While walking to your dumb school in dumb Akita, you already were annoyed

- First of all, you fuckin hated snow

- And second of all, not only you got isekai’ed into a sports anime, which is probably the worst thing that could happen to the girl, because this teenage boys have basketball balls for brains, but also you ended up in Akita way away from the main plot, and you are back into your first year of highschool while mentally still being a college student in her 20’s, which kinda made you a creep

- Not only that, if this is really world of Kuroko no Basket, you ended up in a school with The Biggest (Talented) Whiny Baby and Emo Pretty Boy which seriously, are not the best cards you could get

- If you’d get into any school in Tokyo, at least you’d interact with the characters more, and if it’d be Rakuzan, it seemed like players in the team were just way more fun and diverse, while Yōsen’s whole plot was mostly Himuro’s weird homoerotic brotherhood and Murasakibara being a whiny bitch. Oh, and them being tall

- Also they show up in the anime only in Winter Cup arc, which means that you don’t interact with the main plot in the next half a year - so what the heck are you supposed to do till now?

- Also the fact that this is a Catholic school makes it even more ridiculous - if God exists, he’d sent you to Tōō so you can simp over the hottest coach in whole series, not send you to The North

- You found your way to the school and, well, to be fair: it was really impressive. Also people here were so freaking tall, it is ridiculous for Japan

- School for Giraffes I swear

- Building was huge, modern, pretty - no wonder your fake parents were so excited about you going here

- When you went to the announcement board to check the class you are in, very fast you realised that you are in the same class as Murasakibara

- Well, it does make sense, since this is a very typical plot armour situation - but also it makes you wonder - should you get involved in the plot at all? Become a manager for Yōsen team? Because honestly it seem like… a hassle.

- U found your way into the classroom and there was still no Purple Baby Giant. Also outside of that, everyone seem rather normal, no crazy hair colors, no one being two meters tall, no one being extremely pretty or handsome: typical NPC class in the anime

- You chose a chair next to the window, to get +10 to angst (as you are now a teenager, again)

- Bell rang and everyone took their sits, and there was still no familiar face. Is it possible, that all of this was just a huge coincidence, and you got reincarnated into some alternative universe where names are just way too familiar?

- Right when you were about to sigh with relief, the door opened and you saw a giant figure, that didn’t even fit into the frame. “I’m sorry for being late”

- I guess no one expected someone so big attend first class, so teacher asked if he is sure that’s where he supposed to be, while everyone else started gossiping. To be fair maybe later on you’d ask new classmates if they find it suspicious that his hair was purple. After explaining the issue, Murasakibara Atsushi, The Giant of Teikō, member of Generation of Miracles, sat right behind you, in the last place from the window. Well, that would be indeed rather inconvenient if he sit in the front.

- Teacher started intodrucing himself and there were some voting regarding class President - neither you or Murasakibara got elected, since it would be very inconvenient for the plot. However at the end of the lesson teacher requested all of you to write something in the notebook. “Ah, crap” you hear behind you. No freaking way, you thought. No way…

- “Hey” you felt someone touching you on the back. “Can you borrow me a pen?”

- As in a stereotypical shoujo manga scene, you took a pen out of your pencil case and turn around to face The Main Character of this school. He took it without changing his bored expression and murmured quiet thanks.

- As the break started, you were thinking about talking to him again, but just as hungry birds, people from your class gathered around purple haired boy, commenting on his height. “Whoa do you play volleyball?” “No, basketball” for a second it amused you, how interesting would be if Murasakibara get into Haikyuu (he totally should have come to Shiratorizawa). Since there was no chance to talk to him, you just took out some food not-your-mom prepared, which actually were some homemade cookies.

- “Hey” you heard the same voice again as before, but you didn’t turn this time. People were still gathered around, so he probably wasn’t speaking to you. However the crowd got quiet. “Hey, Pen Girl” you heard a little louder. If it was a car that hit you, not a truck, maybe you’ll be just peacefully dead, instead of dealing with this bullshit.

- You turned around. “What?” You said rather annoyed. You could hear how entire class collectively stopped breathing from fear. This dude was over two meters tall, and you are talking to him this way? Sounds like a death wish.

- “Can I have one?” He pointed at the cookie. Oooh… you made a fast calculation in your head. Do you want to be inserted into sports anime plot? Do you want to do this manager work and watch sweaty boys go around the ball in your free time? Do you want to make fun of Himuro’s bangs?

- You know the answer. So there was no other way. You took one more cookie into your hand, and put all others on Murasakibara’s desk. “You can have them, they are really good.”

- And there you are, a college weeb, making friends with The Whinest Highschooler in Kuroko no Basket.

- Getting a position of the basketball club manager in Yōsen was actually way harder than it should be. When you went to the coach with your application, you were denied on the spot. “We don’t need a manager” she said coldly. You did not expect that. But then she added “if you want to join Himuro’s funclub, you can do it from the spectator’s sit”

- Oooh, now it all makes sense. Amount of teenage girls who want to sniff Himuro’s sweaty towels made things harder for you. But you still decided to shoot your shot. After all, Yōsen coach was not so much older than you before you died.

- “Actually, I’m in Murasakibara’s class” you started. “We are very good friends” you put your application next to the coach on the desk, and bended a little closer to her ear and lowered your voice. “I know how to keep him motivated. Think about it”. After that you left the office and decided to put into motion your new plan: Pavloving Murasakibara

- It took one week until Coach asked you to come to the training. You’ve been preparing for this all this time. You knew that Atsushi was lazy, hated sweating and getting invested into the game, and treated everything like a hassle.

- For the past week you and Purple Giant became a very good friends. You’d always brought more food and sweets, so it wasn’t long until his mouth started watering whenever he saw your face. All according to the plan.

- “We have a rather important training match soon, and Murasakibara is not treating trainings seriously” coach sighed on your way to the gym. “It is really annoying how someone so talented has so little dedication”

- When you arrived, you’d see a crowd of girls from all classes watching guys stretching. Or should you say, one guy.

- Murasakibara was getting yelled at by the captain, probably hearing something similar you heard from the coach: to start training seriously. But the moment he saw you, his face got brighter. Ah, the power of conditioning. Thank god you took the psychology class on your first year.

- “Chibi-chin!” You heard his voice. Yes, it was a lovely nickname that he used, as you were way smaller than him. You smiled and waved your hand. Captain got distracted, as he probably never expected Coach to voluntarily bring a girl to the training. “If you can make him treat it seriously, you can be the manager. Just don’t steal Himuro’s shirts” “Can I steal his shorts tho?” Coach sent you a disgusted look. “Okay, that was a joke, no stealing”

- You went to Murasakibara. “Hey ‘Sushi!” At this point you wouldn’t be surprise if people assume you two are dating, since you had lovely nicknames for each other. “I heard that you have an important match soon” you touched his jersey and gently pull it so he will lean down to you. “You know, if you try your best on the training and win that game, I’ll ask my mom to make you a homemade cake, any flavour you’d want”

- He swallowed saliva. “Any flavour?” - You could hear excitement in his voice. “Yes” you smiled to him. “So work hard, okay, ‘Sushi?”

- That day, no one from oppose team could score any shoot against Murasakibara.

- You got manager position on the spot.

- If this was an Isekai Novel it would be called How I Became a Nanny to 208 cm Giant Baby

By slowlyholypeanut - dont steal, give credit, love live laugh or whatever

PS: I have no personal grudge against Akita, or Himuro’s bangs, however I do have a grudge against snow

#kuroko no basket #kuroko no basket headcanons #isekai Kuroko no basket #isekai #comedy scenario #knb comedy #knb scenarios #dividers by cafekitsune

29 notes · View notes

perplexingluciddreams · 4 days

Text

I love Amelia Shepherd. She is my favourite I think. And still love Jo Wilson.

I still only got through Season 1 of Private Practice so I know I have to watch more of that to get more backstory on Amelia. (But I already gave myself many spoilers because that is what I do).

I am at Season 13 of Grey's Anatomy now. I barely noticed going from Season 12 to 13!

I think this is a show I am going to be able to rewatch over and over, it is so easy for me to watch. Comfortable and simple and straightforward and easy.

I would like to be able to watch it with more actual looking at the screen, though... that is something I really struggle with when watching things in general. Making my eyes look where I want, and processing what I see, is always a struggle, for everything.

I still do my thing of rewinding sections or scenes, until I process it. Or until I manage to pause at the right time to read subtitles. Or until I can pause at the right time to take in the "set up" of the scene and how many people and who - because I can't do that when everything moves so much. (Or until I am satisfied hearing a single line over and over because I like the inflection of the person's voice).

Anyway, I hope I get to piece together what is happening with Jo. I already know some parts and seen some scenes (I give myself spoilers), but I don't know the order or exactly how it fits together.

And the same with Amelia's brain tumour situation - I know about it and seen some scenes, but I want to see the linear story progression.

Grey's Anatomy is so much fun!

(Even if it causes intense hyperfocus and inability to think about anything else... and subsequently have less brain capacity for basic tasks and body signals and interact at all with other people, etc. etc. ... Buuuut that is just my brain and happens with everything I ever hyperfocus on! And hyperfocus is a state my brain defaults to very often. I try not to blame myself for something I can't control but still feel bad about it...).

But still so much fun!!

#ezra watch #greys anatomy #amelia shepherd #jo wilson #private practice #visual processing disorder #hyperfocus #hyperfixation

7 notes · View notes

pyreo · 1 year

Text

there’s something so ideal in how fnv’s caesar is implemented as the head of a fascist cult. You meet him while he’s pretending to be cordial, he has a smokescreen of verbose intellectualism you have to have actual familiarity with to see through, and he has a proven success record and surrounds you with examples of military persuasion. Just like real fascism. It dresses itself up in ‘might not be ideal, but it works’ and ‘just debate me bro’ to legitimise itself.

he’s a hypocrite to his own values but he pontificates on fixing the world’s ills by forcing everyone into a monolithic cosplay culture, allowing no diversity of identity or thought. his legion has a horrific history that cut down families, castes, dissenters, and subjugates all women, but the guy talking to you right now gives you special privileges and sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.

and right behind him, just outside of that tent, you are in a complete pit of savage men, rejoicing in violence, torturers, rapists, supremacists. doing push-ups and dressed like total idiots because a guy who sounds smart told them to. they look absolutely ridiculous but they’re still dangerous because they’re fascists.

fascists defer to anyone able to use big words who’ll justify the violence they already want. and this is written into the game too, because in all likelihood caesar dies from a brain tumour. and then what? the smokescreen is gone. it’s done its job. caesar is the guy bitching and moaning that liberals won’t debate him. caesar is the well-dressed nazi teen getting a published cutesy interview. caesar is jordan peterson reeling in followers with junk misreadings of texts he doesn’t understand. he sanitises a violent worldview that extends an invitation to the player, and then he dies because it’s no longer necessary. the machine of cruelty stands by itself and no longer needs to hide. caesar’s replacement has one single character trait: brutality. the men who joined up, or were captured in, and now perpetuate violence are unleashed.

that is what you’re stopping in fallout new vegas. the naked truth that emulating the old world’s history simply invites back all its faults, which applies to the NCR and House too, but the Legion puts heads on pikes to make you face it. and the fact the Legion will let you join is pivotal to their execution, allowing you to doom others but not yourself, to be their special exception-- I can’t think of any other game that’s provided such a clear-cut litmus test or one that’s aged quite so well over the past 10+ years.

#fallout

74 notes · View notes

ms-scarletwings · 5 months

Text

Every Dredge Aberration (2023), Part 4

Cleft Mouth Shark

Encyclopedia #97

Aberrant form of Blacktip reef shark

Description:

A large body bisected by an enormous, grinning maw. Teeth stretch down forever into the blackness of its large gullet.

Comment: The last, and maybe most remembered of The Marrow's warped fish. Seriously, I stumbled into a bounty of fanart specifically about this jacked up, faceless shark. I belove it the same. Already we have seen two frequented themes in the aberrant line- beings transformed wholly for the purpose of creating and carrying eldritch life, and as so iconized by the above fella, those who instead now only live to consume other life. Early gamers keep their fingers crossed for one of these valuable brutes.

How to catch: Early investment into researching heavier fishing equipment and careful timing will be the friend of those hunting after this abomination. Not for the faint among those just starting out, as black tip reef sharks only appear at night in oceanic water. This means being farther away from the starting port and fishing in the thick of the fog. Keep wary that you don't pull up your catch only to lose it overboard in a collision with a tricky rock, or an assault from the night angler. Can be trawl netted.

Cerebral Crab

Encyclopedia #98

Aberrant form of common crab

Description:

A turquoise mass swells from within this small crab. The growth pulses, quickening in the light of the sun.

Comment: Would it be to awry of me to say that there's something almost... cute about the look of this scuttler? I find it difficult to not think there would be strange beauty in the sight of the island sands at night, pulsing and peppered with a gathering of these crabs' light, like jewels beneath the foam. I can at least be sure that their hue is enamoring once smeared across the hull of my boat. This is one of two mutants you must bring to the painter in Little Marrow to unlock the sharp mint pigments to customize with.

How to catch: As the name would suggest, this animal can only be harvested with patience and the use of a crab pot. Aim for a depth below 25 meters, such as close to, or even within the Greater Marrow harbor.

Malignant Pincer

Encyclopedia #99

Aberrant form of fiddler crab

Description:

Teal tumours secrete a slimy substance over cracks and joints. Its massive claw shudders as it fights for control.

Comment: Now THIS victim's predicament actually lends some fascinating implications about what ails the previous. These pustules look so alike to the same as the common crab's infection in both shape and color that I will go on a limb and decide that the same entity finds a host in either species. The "cerebral" part of the former's name indicates that this mass is in fact a brain of its own, with its own imperatives and will that overrides the poor vessel's. Because the infection has decided to root within the fiddler crab's claw, rather than its head, the animal's original brain has remained intact, despite everything. The body survives to stage a losing battle between nature and another's unknowable plan.

How to catch: They generally share roaming space with the common crabs of The Marrows, albeit preferring slightly shallower water, under a mere 10 meters to be exact. Due to their size, the basic crab pot can only hold one of them at a time, so, barring a speedrun to acquire the maw of the Deep, check the traps frequently if you are looking to snag one of these in the early game. I never found error in placing the pots right next to the Marrow docks for convenience. Bring one of these to the painter along with the cerebral crab to unlock the sharp mint paint for your ship.

Gnashing Perch

Encyclopedia #100

Aberrant form of oceanic perch

Description:

Eyeless and mindless. Driven only by the desire to consume. A purpose satiated many times over.

Comment: By now we’ve already seen plenty of fish that would fit that description, but that doesn’t make it any less suited for this example here. While there was no included mention of the perch’s spines here, I want to assume they’ve only been made more precariously jagged and sturdy.

How to catch: A daytime, coastal kind around the Gale Cliffs. Both the aberrant breed and the typical perch have blissfully modest space needs in both the ship’s cargo hold and the trawl net.

Flayed Mackerel

Encyclopedia #101

Aberrant form of tiger mackerel

Description:

Rended flesh with muscle and bone exposed. This gory mess of a fish can't have lived like this for long.

Comment: I see two possible stories told here. The first is that the evil essence afoot is what mutilated this mackerel. The second is that the specimen was actually flayed by natural means, and this infection is what allowed it to live in spite of its injuries.

How to catch: This is another coastal swimmer in range of the Gale Cliffs. Haul or trawl during daytime hours.

Bearded Mackerel

Encyclopedia #102

Aberrant form of tiger mackerel

Description:

The wispy tendrils sprouting from its mouth and flanks continue to writhe long after the fish has stopped flailing.

Comment: well, well well! It took us long enough to come to bountiful barbels. You haven’t truly flattered the spirit of lovecraftian fiction until you have attached tentacles onto flesh where they don’t belong, and in large numbers.

How to catch: ^^^

#dredge #dredge game #aberrant fish #fish horror #grotesque fish #is it just me #or do the crabs on this one kinda give paras and parasect vibes

15 notes · View notes

aaenvs3000w24 · 2 months

Text

Plant chemicals are so cool! Unit 9

The most amazing thing I know about nature is the ability of plants to produce compounds that serve incredible health benefits to humans. I think it is other-worldly that the flora that has existed alongside humans for so many years can provide us with so many cures to various ailments. Getting personal, I have a very unfortunate family history containing cancer, diabetes, and immune deficiencies that has taken a lot from me. These devastating occurrences have made me all-too-aware of the impacts that lifestyle and food have on human health, and in many ways being in science does not ease my anxieties. However; learning about plant secondary metabolites that serve as phytonutrients in the human body has made me hopeful and inspired to learn more, not just for interest, but to serve my health as well. Buckle up for many science terms and lots of plant facts that I have stored in my brain through my academic career!

Throughout my summary on plant phytonutrients (plant compounds that serve proven health benefits in humans), I will strive to present this information as a whole by connecting plants to human health to satisfy some of Tilden's Principle's of Interpretation (Beck et al. 2018, p. 84). Did you know that the colour of the fruits and vegetables you eat actually correlate to their nutrition? The different pigments produced in plants, such as your orange carrots and red peppers, are caused by secondary metabolites. Orange colouring is caused by the production of beta-carotene, this is then utilized by our body to make vitamin A, making it crucial to our health because we cannot synthesize this on our own. Colours such as purple and dark reds are caused by anthocyanins, these are compounds that aid in our bodies ability to fight tumour producing cells. Actually many plant metabolites, such as glucosinolates from Broccoli, aid in tumour-suppression and have anti-inflammatory properties. Spices such as turmeric have been used for centuries as a treatment for inflammation and diabetes due to the compound 'curcumin'. This bioactive molecule has been increasingly applied to modern medical studies due to its efficacy in improving glucose regulation and suppressing various cancer cell formations.

I won't add in too much more, as I know that was a lot of information. One more area I do want to touch on is the use of genetic engineering to increase yields/improve taste, but decreasing health benefits in the process. An example of this is removing the class of compounds "cucurbitacins" from common cucumbers due to the bitter taste it gives them. These compounds provide various health benefits such as anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer effects, and through the removal of these it has made cucumbers far less beneficial to our health.

I believe much of what our bodies need is provided by nature, not to say I disprove of modern medicine in any way, but our values in food as a society has been greatly impacted due to prices/availability. I want to work plants to improve nutritional concentrations of food, and helping humans be healthier through what has already been granted to us by nature.

Thanks for reading!

Alleeya

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage: For A Better World. Sagamore Publishing.

#envs3000 #nature #healthyfood

7 notes · View notes

stormywitcher · 2 months

Text

one of my biggest fears which i know is probably completely stupid and irrational, but is what if when they remove the tumour in my head, i lose my ability to excessively daydream.

like, what if i lose a part of my imagination? what if it is being fuelled by my high cortisol levels caused by the tumour and when they get rid of it, i won’t be able to think as vividly?

i don’t want that, i can’t lose that ability. it’s all that has kept me alive for years.

i’m scared of everything. i am so tired. i can’t stop thinking ever.

i sleep for hours at night, i nap every day, but i constantly dream, i never not dream. i don’t feel like i’m ever actually asleep. i cannot rest even though all i do is rest.

every waking moment is completely in my own mind all the time. i think so much. not like in an overthinking way, just in a constant constant constant stream of thoughts that are never ending not even when i’m asleep.

my head gets so confused and muddled, like it wants to work efficiently and connect the dots and make conclusions and problem solve and create things, but it’s like all these strands of thoughts are a completely tangled ball of messy yarn that i will never be able to untangle.

i had so much potential. everyone tells me i still do. i used to be able to use my brain so well. i used to be able to do so much more than i can now. i am only a shell of what i was pretending to still be that person.

but i’m not, and i’m not a new person either. i am just nothing. i don’t feel like a person anymore, i don’t feel like a human being. i feel empty and completely full at the same time.

i feel ancient. which always makes older people laugh and tell me “you’re only 22” so i don’t say it out loud because i am only met with disdain and brushed off. but i genuinely feel old. i feel like i have lived so much.

i can’t describe how old i feel. even in 22 years on this planet. i felt every single one of them. i remember so much of them. i am so so so tired. and yet i am only 22 as i am so often reminded.

i wonder sometimes if this is because i have read so many books. i love reading, it’s the only time i don’t have to concentrate. it’s easy. i feel like i have lived a thousand lifetimes.

i am tired.

#mossy thoughts

7 notes · View notes

pitruli · 1 year

Text

Hey guys I'm back !! Did I miss anything bigbsincelast week ?Excuse me if my typing is all over the place right now it's part of the recovery haha I was about to infoump about the crab situation but actually that felt unes especially long so I'm gonna shorten it the best I can hahabut now, that it's finally all behind I feel the need to explain at least a bit ^^"

So you know, the jokes about having. A CRAB I had been making for a few months ?

Well it's gone now, ! Like, gone gone N!! Woohoo !

I'm trying to keep it short but^^'' warning for medical issues and surgery if you're uncomfortable with talks about these (a friend of my family almost fel unconscious when whe tried to explain everything to him, I kno it can throwpeople off quite a bit (not surprising tho,)

Back In October, just when I turned 22, hospital found out a spot we had been surv eying in my brain for more than a year was actually a (non cancerous) tumour and needed to be removed through surgery,c,

"the Crab" is just how I ended up talking about it with friends just to cope after a few days, If anything happened it was always because of the crab haha (no)

Due to being left handed, the functions the most at risk inß my brain were languages (cause apparrently it's t' s more common for left hnaded peopleto have their languangue center more to the right, ... Where emy "crab"Was spotted so to make sure nothing is dammged2 I ,I would have to be concoiuous during the surgery, so they could test my ability to speak (in Both french and English, an make sure they removed as most they can without turning me mute or something lateron haha

So sxi months of preparation laed me to last fri day’ morn.ng, the surgery itzsel f ,went all supér ell! But the concoiuous part sas ßomrrhing to go through for real, sbur honestly I'm more surprised I didn't have a break down lzst minute from axietyry an tried to escape the waiting room hahaa

I çan't eeseally draw for now , even just holding a spoon is tricky lately, but it's just the recovery process, I have to shake myself.a little and go relearn stuff by myself., So I hope tomorrow is can go and doodle for a bit and hopefully see a see progress! Other than that, language should be all normal within a few months, so don't mind me if I'm wonky at times, I'll try my best to write,well enough!!and train whenever I can

I have a mega head scar now tho! I think it's quite epic, I look like I got into some fucking wild shit haha

And the thing is totally removed btw, if it (ever,),grows back, I won't be bothered for years to come !

#tw surgery talk #cw tumour talk #tw health issues

47 notes · View notes

rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks · 5 months

Text

obviously my performance review went absolutely fine and I was worrying about nothing. When delivered with context, all the feedback was super minor and actually really helpful. And not meant to be critical at all. In fact it was super positive!

so now I can move my worry onto my tiny little Deb, who’s been in and out of the vets with her seizures. I’m so worried about her. I’ve spent almost £900 so far, and currently waiting to see whether my insurance will accept the claim since I only took the policy out in September. she’s still having seizures and the latest test results also came back negative, so she’s increased her medication dose, and the next stage of diagnostics is for her to see a neurologist and potentially get an MRI. She only gets officially diagnosed with epilepsy once everything else can be ruled out. so I asked on the phone what roughly that would cost, and the vet said ‘several thousand’ hahahahaha. I love my baby so so so much but.. where am I supposed to get that from?

so. We chat to the vet tomorrow about what he thinks, and wait for the outcome of the current insurance claim before we make a choice. I would just feel like the worst cat mother in the world if I didn’t do it for her and it turned out she had a brain tumour or something. My tiny Deb, she’s just so small

9 notes · View notes

iampikachuhearmeroar · 1 year

Text

y’know not to jump onto the string of posts that i’ve been seeing about “please learn small talk for the love of god”….. but i think the memes around “all i want is deep talks and REAL conversations. none of this shallow shit anymore. i have to talk about space and existence and everything when i first meet someone” really do rot your brain.

because during my time in UG uni (2015-2018) i was very much on my high horse about needing deep conversations. but following that line of thinking is mostly why i made next to no friends at uni. i was so obsessed with the idea of needing “deep, meaningful and insightful” or whatever the fuck the memes said convos, that i really struggled to build small talk skills about “inane shit” (as per memes) like the weather, sport, the daily mundane hum-drum of life. and also work (but we all know i never worked during uni so this bit doesn’t count for me). i forgot how to ask people what their fave shows were, what their fave music was. hell, even what their fave flavour of coffee was or whatever. y’know, besides all the lame getting to know you ice breaker games at the beginning of each semester…. that tried and always kinda failed at trying to get everyone to build common ground and be friends, i really never asked these types of questions to anyone during undergrad. so obvs, in turn, no one/barely anyone asked them of me outside of icebreaker games. so, it was very isolating and lonely, to say the least.

but when it came to it, i never actually wanted the deep conversations, really. my degree was deep enough, being english and philosophy. so much so, that i didn’t even want to explain things to people (like the symptoms of my stomach tumour- ie constant bouts of nausea and extreme tiredness) which is exactly one (1) of the many, many things that put me off dating for the entirety of uni. i just wanted empty conversations, to keep my mind off of my assignments and the sheer amount of course content that i was trying to avoid for them. i wanted time to stop. to freeze. to slow the fuck down. and god. i just wanted someone to talk to. but lo & behold, fucking dumb ass early 20s me also didn’t want to talk to anyone bc “the conversation isn’t quality and deep”; all because of the amount of time i spent on This Here Hellsite (affectionate)™️ reblogging those bs memes and also liking them on fb. but what fucking early 20something year old actually knows what Quality Conversation™️ is anyway???? lmao. sure asf not me back then. and i’m sure asf not many other early 20somethings would know, either.

but now that i’m finally in a job, i see the importance of small talk. i see how it helps build routine and build connections slowly, but surely. i’m still building friendships at work. but god. it’s so much easier to blab about the shows you’re watching, what you did on the weekend, your fave wine/s, the good places to eat in the city or whatever the fuck else small stuff that you talk about at work.

because holy fuck. if someone had come up to me on my first day in march this year, demanding that “oh hey! we have to talk about quantum physics and the essence of being a solid state of non-celestial being and how that effects the very existence of humanity in the world” or some other weird sounding deep shit, i would have ran straight out of the office. like no joke: what the fuck is up with todd??? because we sure as fuck aren’t in a quantum physics lecture or a philosophy of science or physics lecture that would begin that debate. bc bro. simmer the fuck down and tell me if you like to surf or not. good fucking god. we’ll get to those convos on lunch break, eventually. but not when i barely fucking know you. sweet baby lord jesus.

like don’t get me wrong. yes. we need to have deep conversations with people. but you’re never going to get them if you totally block out and dismiss ALL small talk as “pointless, inane and useless” or “vapid and empty” as opposed to putting “deep conversations about time and the universe and how people meet in the cosmos (not counting vision boards)” on a pedestal…. and trying to paint yourself as a pretentious pseudo-intellectual (i guess) douchebag who only wants to talk about that stuff. because like i said earlier, no one wants to talk about the state of the human race or whatever the fuck the first time they meet someone, really.

(although asking political beliefs and stuff is probs a good idea but that’s a whole other post).

basically my point is: for anyone who is Terminally Online™️ and a Humble Meme Farmer™️ like myself and has had the Internet Brain Rot Worms™️ infiltrate their brain with the “fuck small talk! i have to have deep conversations the moment i meet you!” bullshit….. please try to break free from them. practice small talk in the mirror. practice in the shower or the bath. practice it while you drive yourself around (if you have your licence/a car). practice it in the dark of night in a seance of small talk demons. idek whatever your style is.

just. learn to build small and simple connections with other people with easy things like “what’s your fave colour?” or “what’s your dogs name??” et al. ad infinitum. because for crying out loud. when you really think about it, that’s what all those OG tumblr askbox question posts were all about. small talk. but it’s easier obvs with only a keyboard in front of you, and an imaginary audience. but it’s obvs different in person, where you can’t delete words and screwups. but who the fuck cares???

just get the fuck away from your laptop and actually talk to people in the real world. not just your fellow terminally online meme farmer mutuals on various social media sites. because then you’ll realise that small talk, albeit it being a bit of a pain sometimes, ain’t all that bad….. even for a socially awkward ambivert/introvert infp (like myself- see i’m still ~quirky ✌🏻✨~)…. and is kinda inevitably essential to building stable friendships/relationships…… instead of believing that being deep and meaningful and trying to force The Big Deep 🧐🌊🔮👽🤯™️ on everyone, all the time, is the only way to have good conversations.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #i did make a huge rant piece about this on a post about it MONTHS ago now #but i’m not bothered to go back into my archive or my posts to find it rn

77 notes · View notes