#not tagging the others since they don’t speak

[dindjarindiaries]

Senator's Shadow - Chapter 6

summary: As time winds down to the upcoming attack, you and Sergeant Hunter both find yourselves as conflicted as ever.

pairing: hunter (the bad batch) x fem!reader

rating: mature (18+)

tags: bodyguard romance, forbidden love, fluff & angst, emotional & physical hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, injuries & blood, trauma, eventual/mild smut

word count: 6.821k

chapter 5 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 7

chapter 6 ⟹

“I just don’t know, Senator.” Your jaw ticked in your effort not to show the way you bristled with anger at the falsely disappointed words of yet another diplomat. “The problems are only getting worse, and Count Dooku is offering us much more than the Republic is.”

You furrowed your brow in frustration. “It’s not an equal exchange. Can’t you see that?” You looked around the massive, circular table full of Eirus’ highest-ranking officials, silently begging for them to understand your perspective. “Once they have their grip on our world, they will not let go. Their chosen government will absolve yours, and all of you will be outed while our people will be exploited and forced to work in their droid factories.”

The Prime Minister huffed an arrogant breath. “That’s a paranoid thought process, Senator.”

You fixed your intense stare on the Rodian. “It is not ‘paranoid’ when it has happened before on other worlds, Prime Minister. That makes it realistic.” You paused and looked around the group again. “And probable, if we cannot come to an agreement.”

“These attacks have only gotten worse since you arrived.” The Prime Minister wouldn’t back down. “Our people need order, and clearly, the Republic cannot provide that, seeing as it has failed to do so already.”

“It does not help that you have not implemented any of the resources the Republic and I have supplied you with from Coruscant.”

Another diplomat was quick to speak up. “Count Dooku is offering us even more resources.”

Your head snapped towards them. “And where is he now? Where are any of his officials?” You yet again waved a hand around, gesturing to the empty section of seats that would have been directly across from you. “They refuse to come here, yet here I am, trying to make things work in the best interest of all of you and our people.” You shook your head. “He cares so little about our world that he does not even value sending himself or someone else here on his behalf.”

Silence fell upon the diplomats as they considered your words. Some of them continued to stare at you, while others broke their gazes and looked around the room. You hoped that would promise some progress, but deep down, you knew the truth. 

You rose from your seat and continued. “But I care.” Hunter’s words from the night before ran across your mind, warming your chest as you went on. “And because I care, the Republic cares, too.” You nodded. “I fought for this world once before, and I will do it again if I have to.”

The diplomats shared looks, but you didn’t care to read them. Your frustrated rage was boiling hot just beneath the surface of your skin. This was a room full of people who would do nothing to save your world, and you weren’t going to wait for them any longer.

“With that, I believe we can conclude today’s sessions.” The Prime Minister was the next to stand from his seat, his gaze averting yours altogether as he nodded at the group. “We will resume tomorrow, as usual.”

You composed yourself with a breath and kept your mask on, despite the overwhelming urge to embrace your frustration wholeheartedly. With a dignified nod, you turned to the captain of your guard, allowing him to escort you out of the room. Even just stepping through the threshold released a tense weight from your shoulders, though it was far from eliminating all the burdens you were holding there.

The biggest was no doubt the decision that had been looming over your head for the past day. It was becoming more clear which choice you had to make, but it wouldn’t be easy to go that route. You would manage, but the squad who would be standing behind you… would they be punished for their role in your rebellion?

Would Hunter be punished, even hurt, for your own actions?

It wasn’t a thought that you could bear. You had to force it to the back of your mind for now, especially since they hadn’t yet arrived at your doors for the night. That thought at least brought a smile to your face. They were enjoying a meal, if all was well, and that satisfied you. No matter what was to come, you were still providing them with something.

You had a meal in the privacy of your suite, one you had to force down thanks to the pit that had been created in your stomach. In the silence of your lonesome, you ran through plans and probabilities a dozen times. The advantage to being betrayed by those you used to fight alongside was that you knew their plays—because many of those plays had been created by you.

As eager as you were to continue planning, you were utterly relieved by the sound of knocking on your doors. You smiled and rose from where you had been sitting, smoothing out the skirt of your dress before you reached the doors. They opened to reveal the sight of both Hunter and Tech.

You addressed Tech first, bowing your head in his direction. “Tech.” He returned the gesture before glancing back down at his datapad. You fixed your stare upon Hunter, who was already gazing at you with a once-over you were both familiar with and never quite used to. “Sergeant.” The smile on your lips remained even as you lifted an eyebrow. “Another briefing, I presume?”

Hunter bowed his head. “That’s right, Senator.” His dark eyes sparkled with too many emotions to identify in an instant. “We found what we were looking for.”

You were hit with a puzzling mix of both relief and dread as you nodded. “Good. I look forward to hearing about it.”

With that, you turned and walked back inside, encouraging Hunter to do the same. It wasn’t until you heard the doors close that you fully relaxed with a deep exhale. You closed your eyes and turned around to face the sergeant, only reopening them when you were ready for whatever he had to say. His worried gaze was already searching your own.

“How much time do we have?” Your voice was stronger than you had expected it to be.

Hunter took a step closer to you. “Two nights.” His voice was even raspier than usual as he spoke, as if there were also invisible burdens he was hiding on his own shoulders. You furrowed your brow. “Tech was able to slice into their comm channel, and he ran an analysis on their past attacks to prove it.”

You nodded, a rush of adrenaline pumping through you. “Okay, that’s fine. We can work with two more nights’ time.”

Hunter returned your nod, though his stare never left yours. “Have you decided what you’ll be doing?” He asked the question slowly, clearly reluctant to bring the topic up.

“I have.” You raised your chin, but only for a moment. “I’m going to fight.” Your gaze fell from his as you crossed your arms over your chest.

In your silence, Hunter approached you, setting his free hand upon your chin just as he had done two times before—but not since your beautifully haunting kiss. It was hard to focus with that thought lingering in the back of your mind. Hunter’s voice, however, broke through your brief reverie. “Then we’ll fight with you.”

You tightened your jaw, drowning in the comfort of his dark gaze as you voiced your fears to him. “Will that be safe for you and your squad?”

Hunter’s brow knit together. “What do you mean?”

You sighed a light breath. “I know you’re all willing to disobey orders, and that it’s a big part of the reason why I brought you with me. But…” you paused, gaining courage in the softness of Hunter’s expression before going on, “is it safe for you to do that?”

Hunter huffed, his gloved hand moving from your chin to your cheek in a smooth, calming motion. “Trust me, Senator. They stopped trying to reprimand us a long time ago.” He nodded, his eyes searching your own. “You don’t have to worry about us.”

Your hand covered his as you began to smile at him once again. “That’s much easier said than done, Hunter.”

The corners of Hunter’s lips also widened. “I know.”

The silence that followed shifted something between you, bringing you back to that moment in the base by the village. Both your gazes flickered low as your heart steadily started to beat faster and faster. You were drawn to him by the invisible tether you had created between you, and when your nose brushed his, you were yet again at a loss for breath.

But Hunter spoke before either one of you could make a move. “I should let you rest, Senator.” His voice was nothing more than a soft breath.

You shook your head, tightening your grasp on the hand of his that continued to cup your face. “You don’t have to leave.”

Hunter considered your words, both his stare and his voice lowering as he did so. “If I kiss you right now, Senator, I won’t be able to stop.”

The way his words weakened your knees further proved that you couldn’t let go of this moment, one you had been hoping for ever since that night at the village. “I’m okay with that.”

You made the move to close the distance between you, but you were stopped by Hunter’s thumb on your lips. Your eyes fluttered open to see that his were closed, as if he was in pain. You furrowed your brow and waited for him to break your tense silence. When he reopened his eyes, you saw all the conflict within him—and though your heart was stricken with pain on his behalf, it also filled you with a frustrated flame.

Hunter finally spoke, but his voice was nothing more than a whispered plea. “Please.” He exhaled, moving his face away from yours to lower his head. “Make this easier for me.”

His refusal was the last fracture that made you crumble under the weight of all your pressures. You narrowed your eyes and shook your head at him. “No.” Your hand grabbed his wrist and forced it away from your face. Hunter’s stare rose to yours again, and this time, it was filled with a confused panic. “I won’t play this game, Hunter.”

Hunter blinked a few times, his lips parted before he found his words again. “What are you talking about?”

You scoffed. “Days ago, you were encouraging me to indulge in my wants, telling me I didn’t have to choose between them and my people’s needs.” You gave him a disbelieving once-over. “Now, it’s suddenly a problem?”

Hunter hesitated, and you could hear the breath he held in his chest. His gaze was lowered, but it darted around as he tried to collect his thoughts. “It’s never been my intention to confuse or hurt you, Senator.” His stare met yours, its brown depths clouded with too much emotion to decipher. “I guess I’ve still got a lot to figure out myself.” He shook his head, and each word he spoke was strained with meaning. “I’m sorry.”

An apology wasn’t really what you wanted to hear, as genuine as it was. “Well, I’ve made my choice.” You lifted your brow, as if you were challenging him. “You have to make yours.” You gave your head another shake. “Because I’m not letting you have it both ways. Not when I’m already being torn apart by this crisis.”

The pained crease in Hunter’s brow nearly made you regret saying the words, but there was no getting around it. You already had the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, and you couldn’t take on another with such a push-and-pull relationship. He was going to have to choose.

“I should get some rest.” You stepped away from him to move towards your bedroom, trying your best to ignore the burn of his gaze on your back. “I trust that you can see yourself out, Sergeant?”

For the first time, your use of his title was nothing but bitter. When you gained the faith to look at Hunter again, he just nodded dutifully, turning on his heel to stride towards the doors of the suite. Before he got there, however, he stopped. His head turned over his shoulder so that all you could see was his profile. “Senator?”

You said nothing. It was clearly the invitation he was looking for to go on, and the hopeful part of you that wanted to be wrong about everything you had just said let him do so.

Hunter’s shoulders rose and fell with a steady breath before he turned to face you again. Still, he remained where he was, respecting the distance you had put between yourselves. “I was made for this war. I’ve never known a life without it, and I’ve never been able to think of a life beyond it.”

Your heart weighed heavy at the painful truth of his words. You lowered your gaze in shame as he went on.

“I’ve never even had the luxury of ‘wants’ outside of battle, especially with the squad in my care.” Hunter gestured with his head to the doors. “It doesn’t excuse me letting you get caught up in my own confusion, but…” he paused, his gaze once again lowered and searching before he went on, “I hope it helps you realize that you’ve never been the problem.”

Hunter’s stare found yours again, and a rush of strong flutters exploded within you at the breathtaking sincerity of his gaze.

“I know what I want. I’m just not sure if I can let myself have it.” Hunter looked over his shoulder. “For their sake as much as my own.”

You couldn’t think of any words to say. It was your turn to be speechless, lost in the weight of what he had so vulnerably shared with you. He had spent this entire mission understanding your perspective and prioritizing your desires, but you had made the mistake of never once trying to do the same for him.

“Goodnight, Senator.” Hunter dismissed himself with another nod before he walked through the doors that slid open for him, leading him back into the corridor.

As soon as he was gone, you shouldered the heavy weight of his absence. The doors closed at the same time your eyes did, your chest rising and falling with a deep, trembling breath. At the beginning, you had remembered it so well, the weight of Hunter’s own responsibilities that could put him at risk if you pursued a relationship together. But then the kiss had happened, and your rationality slipped away. Rather than talking to him about it, you sought more, more of what he knew he could not have.

Then, you made him feel bad about it. You ended up hurting him after all, long before he would even set foot into the upcoming battle. And of course he remained as honorable and genuine as possible, never once putting the blame on you.

You forced yourself to turn back to your bedroom door and walk through the threshold. As you settled into bed that night, it felt colder and emptier than ever—especially with the creeping fear that you may have ruined whatever potential you and Hunter had for a future together. 

You woke earlier than usual that morning. The time on the chrono was still within Hunter’s window for his watch shift, and you couldn’t deny yourself a chance to at least apologize. You weren’t sure when you would get another opportunity alone with him, aside from the usual briefing later that night. You couldn’t wait that long to put an end to the anxious agony that had made your sleep so restless.

As you dressed for the day, your thoughts dwelled on your current inner crisis. The guilt consumed you whole, but so did the helplessness of the situation. You both wanted the same thing and you had no idea how to help him pursue that. Not when he had so many burdens on his shoulders already, burdens that he had quite literally been created with.

That could be explored later. For now, you just had to apologize. You reminded yourself of that as you headed to the doors of the suite, your pulse racing in anticipation as they opened for you.

You furrowed your brow when Echo turned around to face you. “Senator?” He checked the nearest chrono. “It’s pretty early for you to be awake.”

Your heart sank in disappointment, though you kept a small smile on your lips. “I have a lot to prepare for, Echo.” Was Hunter really so upset that he changed his watch shift?

The ARC trooper removed his helmet, revealing his raised brow. “At this time of the morning?”

You continued to mask with a soft huff. “It’s never too early to begin preparations.” You let out a deeper exhale, bowing your head. “But I’m sorry to have disturbed you, Echo. I…” You paused, trying to find a fitting lie.

“You thought it would be Hunter.” Echo’s words made your gaze snap back up to his. He was smiling, but when his stare caught yours, the smugness began to falter. “Did something happen?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze focusing on the sight of Hunter’s door beyond Echo. “I simply owe him an apology for something. That’s all.”

Echo looked as if he was going to question you about it, but he must have changed his mind. “Well, Hunter’s finally getting some sleep. He found out Wrecker hasn’t been getting enough rest, so he changed the shift schedule.”

Your chest constricted with a confusing number of emotions. “How so?”

“In typical Hunter style, he’s taking a double shift, now. Watching the doors for most of the night, getting maybe a few hours of sleep in before the wake-up call.”

You exhaled a soft breath. That was no surprise to hear, but the fact he hadn’t communicated such a change to you himself hurt worse than it should have. “I see.” You nodded at Echo. “Well, I’ll leave you to it, Echo. My apologies again.”

As you turned back to your doors, however, Echo went on. “If it’s any help, Senator, I don’t think he’s upset with you.” You froze, turning your rapt attention back to Echo. He lifted his brow. “He’s upset with himself.”

You faced Echo fully again and crossed your arms. “What makes you so sure?”

Echo sighed and looked at Hunter’s door. “When he gets upset with himself, he just… keeps to himself. Starts taking on extra responsibilities.”

You grimaced. “Like the watch shifts.”

Echo’s stare found yours again as he nodded. “Exactly.”

You held the side of your face with your palm and exhaled. “He shouldn’t be upset with himself. It’s my fault.”

Echo hesitated for only a moment before he spoke. “Well, Senator, if this is about what I think it’s about… it won’t be easy to convince him of that.”

Your self-loathing began to subside in your sudden concern for Hunter. You dropped your hand from your face and held your arms tighter. “Why?”

Echo shook his head. “Well, Hunter’s good at just about everything. Exceptional, even. But vulnerability?” Echo gave his head a fond tilt. “That’s not his strong suit. And if he thinks he hurt you somehow while he was already trying to be vulnerable…”

You were able to finish the thought. “He’s gonna shut me out.”

Echo stepped closer to you and set a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “But if anyone can get through to him, Senator, it’s you. I’m already amazed at how much you’ve been able to do that.” He chuckled and raised his brow. “Never seen the man so giddy before.”

Your ears burned as you laughed with him. You took his hand from your shoulder and held it between yours in pure gratitude. “Thank you, Echo.” You sighed and let your worry consume you for a moment. “I just hope he’ll give me the chance to help him.”

“Based on how he spoke about you last night during the schedule change?” Echo huffed as he slid his helmet back on over his head. “You don’t have to worry about that at all.”

You beamed, giving your head a fond shake as you turned back to your doors and stepped through them. They closed behind you, and though you should have tried to get more rest, you had too much to think about. You were already planning the next private conversation you would have with Hunter, one that would hopefully go much smoother than last evening did.

This at least made time move by faster, and soon, it was time to reemerge. You approached the doors with a new mindset, preparing yourself for a whole different kind of battle than the one you would be facing tomorrow.

When the doors opened, you were shocked to see that Hunter was already standing there with Echo. Your heart skipped a surprised beat at the sight of him, though the way he was already concealing his face from view with his helmet forced a pulse of disappointment through you.

Hunter’s visor turned to you, and you were caught in the intensity of it. He nodded, breaking the gaze almost straight away. “Good morning, Senator.”

The corners of your mouth tightened before you returned the gesture. “Sergeant. I hope you were able to get some rest.” It was time to give him a push, to see if Echo was right about his true motivations for taking yet another responsibility on his shoulders. You glanced at the ARC trooper. “Echo told me you changed the shift schedule.”

Hunter tilted his helmet. You wished more than anything that you could see his eyes. “It’s better this way. Now, everyone gets equal rest.”

You furrowed your brow. “Everyone except for you?”

Hunter straightened his posture at that. “I’ll be fine, Senator. I’m used to it.”

You still wouldn’t back down. “Cutting back on rest before such a dangerous mission isn’t a very wise choice, Sergeant, regardless of whether you’re used to it or not.”

Hunter sighed and set a hand on his hip. “Senator—.”

Echo cleared his throat when the squad’s doors began to open. You looked past Hunter to see Wrecker and Crosshair making their way over, and it was more than likely that Tech would emerge from your suite at any moment. You folded your hands behind your back and took a deep breath for composure. Once Tech had arrived, you spoke up to the gathered group first. “What are your squad’s plans for today, Sergeant?”

Hunter’s helmet turned towards you slowly, as if it was a cautious movement. “Scoping out their camp again. We need to get as much information as possible before we put our official plans in place.”

You nodded. “I concur. Will the briefing be tonight?”

Hunter shook his head. “We’ll do it tomorrow. I want it to be fresh.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Will I at least be briefed on today’s findings?”

Hunter lifted both hands to his hips. “If there’s anything to report, then yes.”

You gave him a disbelieving once-over. Never before had Hunter pushed back on keeping you as in-the-loop as possible. Now, after already failing to notify you about the watch schedule change, he was going to avoid your usual evening briefings.

You were going to have to push him even harder.

Tech tried to speak up into your stunned silence. “Given how much we already know, it is doubtful that we will find anything—.”

“Considering this is an attack on my home village, Sergeant, I would appreciate receiving details on any and all findings, no matter how small.”

“We can make that possible,” Echo cut in, clearly trying to both help you and ease the tension. “I’m sure we’ll find something worth noting.”

“That makes one of us,” Crosshair muttered.

“I have to say, I am with Crosshair on this one,” Tech added. “Like I attempted to share before, it is doubtful that—.”

Hunter was the one to cut him off that time. “I don’t want to waste any of your time if we don’t find anything worth noting, Senator.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Anything that has to do with my home village is not a ‘waste of time,’ Sergeant.”

Hunter exhaled and held a hand against his helmet. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It kinda sounded like it was,” Wrecker insisted. Hunter’s helmet snapped towards him, making Wrecker shrink back in surprise.

“Listen.” Echo continued to be the voice of reason as he cut into the noise. “We’ve got tons of daylight on our side right now. We’ll make sure we can find something for you by tonight, Senator, if only to put your mind at ease. All right?”

You nodded at him. “I like that plan of yours, Echo.” Your gaze flickered to Hunter’s visor, but only for a moment. “It’s a sensible approach.”

With that, you strided off, heading to your guards who awaited you at the far end of the corridor. The further you got from the group, however, the harder it became to leave them behind. Hunter’s stare was burning so intensely into your back that you were half-convinced he would leave a mark behind. Clearly, whatever you were doing was working to a degree, but you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

You had never wanted to show a person they were deserving of love so badly before.

Throughout your diplomatic sessions for the day, your thoughts dwelled with Hunter and the two battles you were fighting. There was no point in participating in diplomacy any longer; you would keep your mask on and leave it at that. Yesterday had proven that these officials were far beyond saving. You could afford to let your thoughts stray in these sessions if it meant that all the people you were actually trying to help would be saved—if they would let you, Hunter included.

The day trudged on, but eventually, it came to an end. You were relieved to be heading back to your suite, even with the anticipation of facing Hunter again. You had rehearsed conversations in your mind a thousand times throughout the day, leaving you more prepared than ever to speak to him.

But when you got to your doors, he was nowhere to be found. It was Echo who awaited you with a half-hearted smile. You returned it even as you raised your brow and looked around the end of the corridor.

“Good to see you again, Echo.” You nodded at him, and he returned the gesture. “Where’s your squad?” You lowered your voice to keep it between the two of you. “And the sergeant?”

Echo exhaled and closed his eyes. “I tried my best, Senator.” Your chest tightened as Echo’s eyes reopened, his stare meeting yours. “Hunter insisted on staying later at the camp tonight, and he’s got Crosshair and Tech with him. Wrecker and I are covering the watch shifts until they get back.”

You frowned and attempted to ignore the worried pang that gnawed at your stomach. “How long will they be gone?”

Echo shook his head. “I’m not sure. I don’t think it’ll be too long.” He offered a hopeful smile. “Hunter doesn’t like to leave you on your own, even now.”

You scoffed and held your arms with your hands. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

Echo took a step closer to you. “I will say, Senator, that he stayed because he wanted to be able to bring back something new for you.” He lifted the corner of his mouth in a genuine smile. “Just like you had asked him to.”

You softened, though your frustration and worry continued to fester within your chest. “Well, it works very conveniently with his plan to avoid me.”

Echo huffed. “Yeah. For now.” He nodded at you again. “Just give it time. You’ll have your chance.”

You set a hand on Echo’s shoulder. “I hope you’re right, Echo.” You added a pat before you walked over to your doors and watched them open for you. “Make sure you get some rest, okay?”

Echo called into the suite after you. “You too, Senator.”

You smiled to yourself at his meaningful concern for you as the doors closed, leaving you in your lonesome once again. Though you wished more than anything that you would be getting an evening briefing from Hunter again, and thus an opportunity to talk to him, Echo had been right. He just needed time—and maybe you did, too.

But neither one of you had time, and that was the problem. Tomorrow’s battle would more than likely put an end to this mission, whether you were successful or not. Waiting was the last thing you wanted to do. You couldn’t bear the thought of letting both your world and Hunter slip through your fingers.

Despite these strong worries, you were able to do what Echo had gently requested you to. Your body was exhausted with the weight of all the burdens you had been putting on it, and it wasn’t long before you were able to fall into a deep sleep.

You weren’t sure what time it was when you heard the door to your bedroom open.

The knife was thrown before you could even sit up. Rather than hitting you, however, it disarmed a mysterious shadow at your side. You tried to kick your startled body into action, but before you could roll away to the other side of the bed, you were seized by the shadow’s two strong arms. They forced you out of the bed as they held you tight against their front, soon adding a blade to your neck as you were forced to look at whoever stood in the threshold of your door.

Hunter. You nearly breathed his name in your strong relief, despite the situation. His helmet was on, but you didn’t need to read his face to see all the panic and tension he held for you. The slight tremble of his blaster that was raised at your attacker spoke for him.

“Move, and she’s dead,” your attacker snarled. It wasn’t a voice you were familiar with, at least.

“Let her go,” Hunter warned in a menacing tone you’d never heard from him before, “or you’re dead.”

“Sergeant,” you called for him, raising your brow as his visor met your gaze. His protectiveness meant everything to you, but your injuries policy still stood. He had to understand that, even now.

“Quiet.” Your attacker’s voice shook with nerves as he tightened the blade on your neck. You grunted at the movement, but you weren’t alarmed by it. It was predictable. “Put down the blaster.”

Hunter tilted his helmet, and his grip on the weapon only tightened. “Yeah, I don’t really do that whole ‘following orders’ thing.”

You spoke up just after him. “Neither do I.”

You held your attacker’s arms and pulled yourself down as hard as you could, flipping him over your back. You rose back to your full height and took up Hunter’s discarded knife, but the sergeant had already shocked the attacker. His blaster, however, was now aimed behind you.

You stepped and turned just in time to avoid an attempted blow from a second attacker, who had hopped through the same open viewport as the other. Gripping Hunter’s knife tighter, you lunged towards them, jabbing the blunt end of the blade against their wrist to disarm them. Just as you leaned back to avoid another blow, the blue light of Hunter’s shot hit the attacker, stunning them and sending them into a steaming heap on the floor.

You steadied your breathing as you rushed over to the viewport, leaning out to make sure there were no others. When you closed it again and stepped away, you were immediately met with Hunter’s concerned expression, his helmet and blaster having been left behind on your bed.

“Are you okay?” Hunter’s brow was knit together, and his voice was strained as his dark gaze gave you a thorough once-over. Your ears burned when you remembered that you were still in your small nightgown. “Did they hurt you?” One of his hands held your shoulder as the other ran over your neck, where the attacker’s blade had been.

“I’m fine.” You kept your voice soft and nodded at him. “Thanks to your senses.”

Hunter exhaled a relieved breath, and as the adrenaline wore off, you could see him returning to his usual self. He withdrew his hands from you and returned your nod. You grimaced at the distance he was putting between you again as he reached for the comlink on his belt and spoke into it. “Boys, we’ve got infiltrators. Crosshair and Tech, do a perimeter sweep, make sure there aren’t any more. Echo, watch the outside door. Wrecker, I’ve got two men in the senator’s suite that I need you to take to the brig.”

You looked down at the unconscious attackers as he spoke. They weren’t any of the trained fighters you would have recognized, and that at least made one glaring truth evident. “These are rogue assassins.” You spoke before you even knew if Hunter was listening to you. “They’re not trained fighters.” Your gaze rose back to Hunter’s, which was watching you with both concern and curiosity. “If they were, that would’ve been a much harder fight.”

“And the trained fighters wouldn’t have jeopardized their upcoming mission.” Hunter lowered his stare to the two men and took a deep breath. “You’re right.”

You attempted both a smile and a joke. “Aren’t I always?”

That at least got Hunter to huff. The sound warmed your chest with a sweet flame, though it was quickly snuffed out when Hunter continued to avoid your gaze. Maybe pushing him wouldn’t be the solution, after all.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly conscious of the way you were dressed. “Thank you, Sergeant.”

Hunter’s stare found yours in disbelief. “For what, Senator?”

You chuckled and gestured to the bodies on the floor with your eyes. “For saving me.”

Hunter softened, even as his jaw tightened. There was a swirling cloud of emotions in his gaze that made it hard to resist reaching out for him. “You shouldn’t have to thank me for that.”

Wrecker entered the room before either one of you could continue. He gave himself some time to stretch before he bent down to pick up the unmoving men. “Looks like you two got ‘em easy.” Wrecker let out a hearty chuckle and nodded at you in approval. “Good work, Senator.”

You smiled and nodded at him. “Thank you for your help, Wrecker.”

Wrecker returned your nod and turned to Hunter. “You said you want ‘em in the brig, Sarge?”

“Yeah.” Hunter had already holstered his blaster, and he had his helmet tucked underneath his arm. “We’ll talk to them in the morning. For now…” he gestured to you with his head, but he didn’t look at you, “we should let the senator rest and recover.”

No, rest was the last thing you needed. What you needed was the same man who had just come to your rescue, and you weren’t letting him walk away again. As he started to follow Wrecker, you stepped forward, tightening your hands around yourself. “Sergeant?”

Hunter’s head turned back to you. You let your vulnerability show as you pleaded with your eyes, and your shoulders shook with a deep, trembling breath.

“If I could speak to you for just a moment?”

Hunter couldn’t deny you, just as Echo had insinuated before. He only turned to nod at Wrecker and dismiss him. Wrecker continued on through the threshold, leaving you and Hunter alone in the darkness of your bedroom.

You wasted no time getting to the point. “I owe you an apology.”

Hunter let out a heavy sigh, his head hanging in a guilt he wasn’t even trying to hide. “No you don’t.”

“I do.” You took a step closer to him. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that last night. What I should’ve done is remember that this isn’t as easy of a decision for you to make as it is for me.”

Hunter’s gaze darted around as he considered your words. You took his silence as an invitation to keep going.

“But you don’t have to avoid me. I understand that I was unreasonably harsh, and I can’t emphasize how deeply sorry I am for that, but… is this really what you want, now?”

The pain in your voice caused Hunter’s stare to find yours again. His dark eyes did nothing to hide the conflict he was holding deep within him, and neither did the strain of his voice as he spoke. “It’s not what I want at all, Senator.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “But I have to avoid you, because I don’t trust myself to be alone around you. I’ll only end up giving in and hurting you again, and that’s not something I’m willing to do.”

Your chest ached for him, but you still took another step closer, keeping your voice level as you spoke. “Your avoidance is hurting me more than the alternative would.”

Hunter’s eyes snapped back open at that, and they were widened in the same panicked way they had been last night. You softened and offered him a reassuring nod.

“Ever since we met, you’ve done all you can to understand me. To show me a sweet kind of sympathy I’ve never gotten before. And I… I never did that for you, at least not in the same way.”

You let your arms fall to your sides, opening up to him completely.

“Now I understand. I understand that this decision isn’t as easy for you as it is for me. But I think that’s because you’re forgetting something.”

You paused, giving Hunter the opportunity to speak. When he continued to remain silent, his jaw tight and his brow furrowed, you went on.

“It’s the same thing you’ve been reminding me this entire time. That I’m not alone.” Another step caused you to be nearly chest-to-chest with him. You reached a hand up towards his face, keeping the movement slow to let him stop you—but he didn’t. Your palm met his cheek, and he started to melt against it. “Neither are you, Hunter.”

Hunter’s eyes closed again, but this time, the motion was less desperate. He finally looked at ease, and you smiled to yourself at the progress you were making.

“If this is something you want… if we’re something you want… you don’t have to figure it out on your own.” You lifted your other hand to the tattooed side of his face, nodding once he had opened his eyes to look at you again. “I’ll be right here, and you know your squad will, too.” You giggled. “Especially Echo.”

Hunter laughed with you at that. It was a soft chuckle full of the same warmth you had gotten to see from him before. A hopeful flame burned within your chest, along with another that was deeply rooted inside of you. It was getting harder to ignore, and you let it fuel you as you leaned your face closer to his.

“Let me help you, Hunter, if that’s what you want.” You searched his gaze, which was only getting softer the more you spoke. “You gave me a choice before, and like I said last night, I’ve made mine. Now, you’re free to make your own.” You brushed your nose against his. This time, the motion drew a soft breath from his lips rather than your own. “Do you want this?” Your eyelids fluttered, your heart racing as your lips just barely touched his. “Do you want me?”

All the worries and pleas had been freed from your chest. You could only wait on him, now, even if every single part of your mind, heart, and body pleaded with you to close the distance. Like you had said, he had given you the choice before. This time, it would be his.

For a moment, Hunter pulled back, and your chest tightened with worry. Then, his hand wrapped around the back of your neck, and his lips were on yours for the first time in much too long.

chapter 5 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 7

hunter tag list: @zenrobbins0021 @cw80831 @yunggoblin @maddiedrmr @Molmcb

senator’s shadow tag list: @violetlilly2020 @jellybeanstacey0519 @dindadjarin

#well everyone! buckle UPPPPPPPPP for a rollercoaster #hunter bad batch #tbb hunter #hunter tbb #hunter bad batch x reader #tbb hunter x reader #hunter tbb x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #senator's shadow #dindjarindiaries

[the-au-collector]

So I’ve realized that the only way I’m going to get my AUs out there is by being annoying about them.

So have this scenario that’s been living rent-free in my brain for months:

Kids

(Wild, Four, Warriors, Hyrule and Twilight are in Legend’s era. They are searching for their kids, who have previously been established to be kidnapped by time-traveling Yiga. The Links have been traveling across Eras, slowly reuniting to let each other know that their kids are lost across time, and are teaming up to find them. Wild, Four, Wars, Hyrule, and Twilight have just reunited with Legend, and are en route to Legend’s house.)

The Links have been discussing various topics, like their kids, and are assuring Legend that his house won’t be too crazy for them to stay at overnight when Legend realizes something.

Legend: Wait how many kids do you think I have?

Wild: well you said kids so, like, two?

Legend: …

Wild: I could see three I guess?

Legend: …

Wild, who has one kid: *with increasing horror* Four?

Legend: …

Wild: *still in horror* higher or lower?

Legend, who really isn’t sure if he should tell them he has 6 kids or if he should let them figure it out for themselves: higher

Wild: Five?

Legend: … higher

Four, unperturbed: Seven?

Legend, who also isn’t sure whether he should tell them he and Ravio will be adopting another kid within the next year: Not yet

So yeah.

During Relinked, Legend and Ravio have 6 kids. They’re all adopted. Knowing what he knows about Hyrule’s era, Legend doesn’t feel right bringing more kids into the world. But if they’re already here and need a place? Well, his Uncle raised him to never turn someone in need down!

Got abandoned by your parents? Come on in! Family slaughtered by wolves? Here’s a home for you, completely safe 100% no wolves at all! Your parents were abusive shitheads? I’m your dad now. Your parents died? Well I know a thing or two about mentors dying I guess, come on in. Parents can’t take care of you? Hell, I have more than enough resources to spare.

#Legend is the only one with this many kids #i swear I only wanted him to have 3 max then like 4 other OCs popped up and said he’s their dad so #relinked AU #linked universe #lu legend #lu wild #lu four #not tagging the others since they don’t speak #ravioli #ravioli ship #they have 6 kids y’all

[leopardom]

there’s a reason i use hashtags besides sorting stuff out on my blog and that is for people who don’t follow me to see things i post because who knows maybe they like something. i think we all use hashtags for that reason

that being said, tumblr get your shit together because my posts don’t show up in hashtags anymore and that’s annoying and i have a feeling i’m not the only one being annoyed by this 🥲

#it’s been what? and hour? more than an hour even since i posted some pics #still not visible on the jo tag #however some other posts that got posted later than mine are visible #and this happened yesterday and other times too #like FIX THE TAGS PLEASE????? #i don’t only wanna see my posts there i wanna see if other people have posted something interesting too! #this is emma speaking

[mangobubbletea7]

Not that I have a horse in this race, I’ve never been a wilbur enjoyer and I don’t listen to Lovejoy, but don’t tell me the same people who could do forensic analysis on Manatreed’s chin and read documents about Dream’s creepy ass Snapchat dms are gonna cover their eyes and plug their ears and go “don’t speculate” when there’s years of publicly available evidence that Wilbur Soot is a biter. Come on…

There’s 4 women all saying the same thing and describing the same guy, some of them naming Wilbur outright, no one says you have to immediately burn your Lovejoy CDs to support the victim, but the evidence is pretty undeniable and the least you could do is just be quiet and check back in to see what plays out in the next couple days. Getting mad at people for putting together publicly available evidence of physical abuse, when you obviously wouldn’t object to it being done to other harmful public figures in the content creation world, is mega cringe. If it doesn’t end up being him somehow, then y’all can go back to life as normal and no harm will have been done to him.

If this is true, and from the clips of Niki and Shelby talking about it, I’d be fucking shocked if it isn’t, Wilbur AT THE VERY LEAST needs serious help. Biting people repeatedly to the point that they’re bruising and having to cover up their arms is not fucking normal. I just don’t know what else to say about it

#the dream situation #the manatreed situation #<- adding those for tag blocking since I mentioned them #the Wilbur situation #<- if you need to block the tag go ahead idk how much I’ll actually be talking about it here but I’m just disappointed at what I’m seeing in #some other places about it and it must be said #you can’t ignore it just because it’s a guy you really liked this time #you don’t have to talk about it you don’t have to follow the situation closely you don’t have to delete your fan accounts but you shouldn’t #shame others for talking about it #mango speaks sometimes

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[firefly-sky]

i really hope tratt dont make an episode about the isr3@l genocide. i dont think i could be a fan anymore. it's too delicate for jokes and i know they would NOT treat it with any respect, or they'd just use the episode to be zionistic. free palestine

yeah. i wouldn’t like that much either. it would be in poor taste.

also like…not to get political but why censor israel and not palestine as well? it doesn’t make much sense to me. if you’re gonna censor one you should at least censor the other as well, pro israel or free palestine.

#also another reminder to please not get political on my blog #i don’t feel like dealing with the political discourse #i support the free palestine movements but i just don’t want to deal with the political discourse especially since im not fully educated on #just putting it out there #south park #skipper speaks #kyle broflovski #tagging kyle because the kyle fans need to see this #also the censorship of one group but not the other kinda gives off weird vibes to me #i’d say the same thing if it was about any other political issue as well like if someone censored democrat and not republican id say this t #*too #not to make anon feel bad but also like…idk #i dont want to debate what i am not fully knowledgeable of #asks #anon #answered

[latenightsleeper]

Tank and Christian need each other to have a good nights rest—like they actually need to hold the other in their arms to wake up in a good mood. It started randomly when they were younger, teenagers, and for reasons I won’t explain rn—Tank started to stay over at Christian’s more and more which in turn made them get used to his room and his bed since even when they said they could sleep on the bed he’d bug them until Tank joined him on the bed.

Chrissy would say it was because “ you won’t be a bitch in the morning “ but he honestly felt bad they couldn’t sleep on the couch bc it wasn’t like he was gonna tell his parents he was having a sleep over, especially with the kid he was starting shit with every other day. It was awkward as hell, being smushed on this twin sized bed since it was all they could afford with Tank now pilled on it. But oddly, even if he or Tank wanted to say otherwise, it was kinda..comforting in a way neither of them had felt in a while.

As they both got older and it happened more and more, sometimes it was Tank hosting Chrissy or Chrissy hosting Tank but soon they just started to…keep on doing it even if there wasn’t anything going down. Both Tank and Christian got good at climbing in and out of windows thanks to this, it kinda became a ritual for the two of them.

After school or when they’d get off their part time jobs when they are teen, they’d go to the others house if they knew they would be home and just haul themselves up. Knocking in the window in the rhythmic tapping before slipping in.

This kept up even to adulthood, till of course Tank got involved with Quinn and they started to do it less and less. Tank just not wanting Quinn to meet Christian, something in them just screaming at the thought of it really till the attack happened and they skipped town.

It started to happen again after a while, now Tank and Chrissy sleep better now.

#latenightsleeper #sleep speaks #random writing #redacted Darlin #redacted tank #redacted Christian #redacted Chrissy #I’m not using all of the tags since I don’t want this there there #but hey! tank and Chrissy sleeping habits #Chrissy had to start taking melatonin to try and get more sleep for the time Tank was away #tank just suffered #they both didn’t get a good a sleep away from each other #and yeah sometimes they slept well but there was also this feeling of #someone missing ya know? #just this empty pit in their chests #tank and Chrissy #Chrissy and tank #<3 them

[goldennika]

not to be all dramatic on main but a MOA i met at their dome show in Osaka last year added me to her close friends list/stories on instagram 🥺

#nobody touch me #i’m so fragile rn 🥹 #this is kinda a big deal for me bc my social skills can be pretty bad at times esp for maintaining contact 🥺 #she was the same MOA who helped translate their Korean ments to English for us!! #since us other iMOAs don’t really speak korean nor japanese #Korean isn’t even her first language since she’s Taiwanese!! #istg the other iMOAs i’ve met at that japan stop were so cool and super nice :( #oh god when did the tags get all filled up shakbsalhshaha ok i’ll stop now #rambles #txt moas

[spidey-loving-starkid]

Nine people you’d like to get to know better.

I was tagged by @erisenyo :).

3 Ships: Klaine (Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee), Zukka (Zuko and Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender), Romitri (Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov, Vampire Academy).

1st Ship: Probably Ron and Hermione.

Most Recent Song: Walk Of Shame by Darren Criss.

Most Recent Film: Twilight.

Currently Reading: I recently re-read the Vampire Academy Series. Before that, I read Jurassic Park, which is v different from that Jurassic Park film, and is extremely gorey, and is totally awesome, and I love that.

Currently Watching: I’m always rewatching Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Fun Fact: I watched at least 1 episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer every weekday for about 8 years, give or take, sometimes more, sometimes missing a day, or a few, and I’d watch that before I got ready for school, among other times.

Currently Consuming: Chips and a Burger.

Currently Craving: THE BEACH, as always, lol.

Tagging: @octopodeez , @youremyonlyhope , @ssreeder , @eroticlizardfiction , @a-force-dyad-in-space , @animalconference , @the-apples-were-monitored , @compellingcas , @slaymaster-general .

#Tag Game #Thanks for tagging me. #That reminded me about a game that here in Australia we call Tips where you run around and try to tip each other. #I think that in the U.S.A. that’s called tag. #That also seems like a decent time to again remind people that both Tess and Buffy are my names. #Buffy has been my nickname since I was like 10 years old and some people don’t even know that that’s not on my Birth Certificate rn. #Tess is my name and Buffy is also my name. #I love my name Tess and I love my name Buffy. #Btw if anybody clicked on all 3 of those links that I included in that post then feel free to let me know. #Tess Speaks #Buffy Speaks

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Itty bitty vent

#I don’t really watch any movies I don’t watch new movies old movies I just don’t care about watching them #I’ll watch animated movies if i hear they’re good enough but only then #I haven’t watched any live action shows since like highschool and I don’t even watch new popular cartoons #and it fucking sucks how frequently I feel distant from other people when they start talking about media together #or when someone says ‘omg you haven’t seen —‘ like no. fucking. what do you want me to do #serious movies or shows are fucking boring to me I have enough serious shit happening irl #media is 100% escapism for me that’s all it ever is for me I can only hold interest in funny or romantic things #like fucking hell mate #I watch anime but infrequently so I don’t even know about popular ones #I just wish it wasn’t as common of a topic. or that at least it was more acceptable for people not to indulge in it #I don’t have Netflix or cable like what do you want me to do #like when I feel like watching something 80% of the time I’m going to rewatch some fuckin. markiplier video. that’s it that’s all I watch #either him or some youtuber #but I don’t even know that many YouTubers so I can’t say it makes up for not being into pop media #the only thing I’m decently knowledgable about is games but no one ever talks about games ffs #fuckin hell. always feel so fuckin distant #anyway #vent #maybe some people want this tag filtered idk #weasel speaks

[writerfae]

I’m a firm believer that duty kills passion, at least for me personally. So I could never be a professional writer or photographer or something, even though I love to do those things.

#it’s like with school. it’s not learning that I’m opposed to #I love to learn more things especially stuff that interests me like history #but once the duty of proofing my knowledge (see: exams / presentations) I suddenly really don’t like it anymore #recently I got the chance to do a book presentation of a book I like in school which usually would’ve been lots of fun #but since I have to present it and had like a limited amount of time to work on it I didn’t enjoy it like I hoped I would #as for writing I love to do it my way and with no pressure at all but as a professional it’s way harder #I wanted to become a journalist once upon a time but having to write articles with a deadline would kill all my inspiration so I didn’t try #and the thing with photography is I love it #and if you believe my dad and some others I have a great eye for motives and perspectives #but for the life of me I can’t bring myself to learn the techniques of photography just thinking about picking up a guide bores me #writer speaks #writeblr #long ass tag ramble

[ijustdontlikepeople]

I was tagged by @allsassnoclass @lover-of-mine

Rules bold the true ones

APPEARANCE

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

TALENTS AND HOBBIES

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETIC

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISC

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

TAGGING: anyone who like to share ♥️

#my hair isn’t currently highlighted or dyed but I’ve done it in the past #plastic surgery: I’ve had moles removed for medical reasons not cosmetic but that’s plastic surgery #I paint / get my nails painted like 4 or 5 times a year #generally they aren’t painted so didn’t include #I played sports as a kid but haven’t done it since hs and currently cant so didn’t include #I can play a few songs on a few instruments but I would never be like ‘i play guitar’ you know? #same with languages I could piece together a conversation or read an article in a few other than English but I don’t like SPEAK another #love singing terrible at it #don’t go away every break but fairly frequently imo #I was sort of seeing a guy I met on a dating for a couple months this year but not like in a defined way #I like the beach at high tide lol #I feel like I’ve been to a bonfire but can’t recall when lol #autumn and winter are tied #I like Mexican food it doesn’t like me too much tho #tag games #hazel #allsassnoclass

[diversityvin]

I need to bingewatch the scream movies again or I will die right now.

#comfort franchise 💚 #but i promised myself the next slasher franchise I’d binge-consume would be Halloween/Michael Myers. #but I also don’t want to consume any media that isn’t Doom right now. #I might just rewatch the first and second ones only. the others were kind of lame in comparison im not going to lie. #especially the 4th one I fucking hated the 4th one it doesn’t exist in my mind. #but I’d have to Not play Doom in order to consume any of that media #I don’t really have the time or will go indulge in all 3. #since I did have to make a schedule in order to ensure that i have workout time; research time & time for my hobbies on a daily basis. #& if I try to multi-task it will definitely fuck with the schedule. #speaking of hobbies. wasnt I supposed to sculpt on the holidays…. what happened to that. #gh. there’s so much to do. fuck. #OH I GOT IT. #I have a personal thing about not really wanting to bring my switch to bed so. #I can just watch the movies in those like 4 hours i spend decomposing there. #i usually just spend them online anyway; i can just. be online while indulging myself. no biggie. #i find multi-tasking while watching movies to be pretty easy. #the only time i Can’t multi-task/talk is when I’m playing doom? not really the type of person to talk inbetween. #it’s fine with other games too i have no idea why it’s the one exception but it is what it is. #will to indulge* (7th tag)

[abigailfrowns]

I’m suddenly not busy anymore (thesis is done, barely any classes left to finish) and suddenly my disordered eating habits are back? You think they’d be worse when I’m cramming and working on my thesis for hours at a time but I guess not!!! They’re back when I have the time and mental capacity to feed myself normally!!!

#I don’t think I’ve ever talked about my disordered eating habits (and the eating disorder I had 8-9 years ago) on here before? #so if you don’t want to read ED stuff don’t read these tags #but it’s ARFID adjacent and not due to body image issues #more like I’m afraid to eat foods that aren’t my safe foods and if a safe food is suddenly unappealing I might not eat #I wouldn’t call it an eating disorder because even though it affects my health sometimes it’s not harmful long term #and it usually only lasts a short time #but during most of my junior/senior years of high school I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch and barely ate dinner #so that was an actual eating disorder #there was something up with my pasta the other day and I couldn’t tell if it was the pasta the cheese or the ketchup #but I haven’t been able to eat it since #plus being in Finland and not having access to a lot of my safe foods has been not so great #like we don’t have pierogis or chicken noodle soup here and it’s pretty hard to find fresh snap peas #also there’s some foods that I can’t make either because o lack the cooking skills or the piece of kitchen equipment I’d need was too $$$ #and restaurants are hard because you can’t make modifications here like you can in the US and the language makes me anxious to go out #eating disoder trigger warning #tw eating disorder #eating disorder tw #eating disorder cw #cw eating disorder #tw ED #ED tw #abby talks #abby speaks #abigail speaks #abigail talks

[sttoru]

sukunas fav concubine being bullied by the other concubines?? maybe they push her into the fountain 👀👀👀

·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. being bullied because you’re sukuna’s favorite concubine is nothing out of the ordinary. when sukuna finally notices the harassment you’re going through, he doesn’t hold back.

wc. 2.2k-ish

tags. true form!sukuna x concubine! female reader. fluff, angst (hurt to comfort). heian era. bullying. one mention of d.ecapitation. vile language. reader gets called ‘brat’. beta reading? what’s that

“she’s got nothing going on for her,” “right? i don’t get what he sees in her,” “tch—he’s only using her for her body anyway,” “duhh. he can’t be pleased by her looks. i mean, she’s really ugly. i bet he thinks of her as just ‘nother hole to use. . .”

and the shushed gossips continue. the concubines hanging around the garden have noticed your arrival, though do nothing to stop badmouthing you. they couldn’t care less if you hear what they say.

you’re used to it by now. you’ve adjusted to this life of yours as one of sukuna’s concubines. his favourite at that—which automatically makes you a victim of verbal (and sometimes physical) harassment. the other women in the ruthless sorcerer’s harem can’t stand you.

your eyes are glued to the path you’re walking on. your lady-in-waiting doesn’t utter a single word as well, holding her head low as she follows behind you. you know that the concubines will immediately pick on you if you make eye contact with one of them.

it’s moments like these where you actually miss sukuna. his intimidating presence and (in)direct threats would immediately make the others fall silent. you wouldn’t have to hear them call you nasty names.

though, unlucky you, sukuna’s out on business. uraume is left as a temporary supervisor of the entire estate. to make sure nothing goes wrong. despite all of that, you still find yourself in an unfortunate predicament.

“hey. we’re talking to you,” a female voice rings from behind you. it isn’t your lady-in-waiting, but the brown-haired woman whom you recognise as one of sukuna’s concubines. her name. . . you can’t recall.

she forcefully pushes your shoulder with two fingers. you stumble backwards, nearly tripping over the material of your kimono. you look down at the hem and notice a subtle muddy stain on the cloth now that you’ve accidentally stepped on it.

you curse the woman out under your breath. the kimono is one of your favorites since sukuna had it made and tailored to suit your taste.

“my apologies,” you mumble politely. you do not wish to make a scene as much as you want to defend yourself. not in front of those poor servants who are simply minding their business and tending to the garden.

the lady scoffs. another one joins. soon, four of them surround you, leaving you no place to escape the situation. with every step you take back, they take one forward. it’s intimidating, though you try to make it seem like you’re not afraid of their words.

“tell me,” the blonde one speaks up and her hand trails up your arm. she twirls a strand of your hair around her index finger before harshly tugging at it. you wince, but she doesn’t budge, “tell me what sukuna sees in a worthless slut like you.”

it’s about sukuna every time. you’re getting sick of the way they treat you because of something you can’t control. you don’t know why he favors you out of all the other women at his service. the way you’re treated because of something that you cannot change is getting frustrating.

the brown-haired woman follows the other lady. she pushes you until the back of your shoe bumps against the edge of a fountain. the grande fountain in the yard that you always love to admire.

the tugs at your hair get stronger. your patience is wearing thin. you take some time to reply to the other concubines, hoping to silence them for now.

you look up at the group surrounding you—a grin tugging at your lips as you decide to taunt them. you scoff, “hah. you cannot blame me for satisfying my lord better than all of you could do together.”

audible gasps sound from the group of concubines. they can’t believe you had the audacity to talk back and be disrespectful about it. the comment you made clearly struck a nerve. or in this case multiple.

“oh, you slut!” the blonde one shrieks, clearly more than upset by your doubts about her services as a concubine. in a flash of rage, she gives you a firm push, sending you backwards until you fall into the fountain with a loud splash.

your lady-in-waiting is the one gasping this time. she looks at you with great worry in her eyes, not knowing if she needs to go fetch uraume or not. she doesn’t have much say in the matter either way.

you’re humiliated by this. you can feel the water seep into the robes of your kimono, staining the beloved material. your hair is wet as well, the water droplets falling off the ends of your locks.

“pah, you look pathetic,” one of the lower ranking concubines chimes in—giggling at the unfortunate situation you got yourself in. the others follow with their own high pitched laughs, “serves you right.”

you don’t even know what you should do. your body feels heavy because of the water wetting your clothes. your nails drag along the fountain’s surface, trying to compose yourself before you do anything irrational.

you grit your teeth and take a deep breath. you’re shaking, both because of the cold settling over your body as well as the anger simmering inside of you. you open your mouth to say something, only to be interrupted.

by someone you didn’t expect to see any time soon.

“enough.”

the deep tone sends chills down your spine. the volume of the male voice nearly shakes the ground. it’s powerful, dominant and quite aggressive. as if the owner of the voice is pissed. no, more than that.

the group of concubines freeze, not even daring to turn around and face the unexpected visitor. you notice your lady-in-waiting immediately falling to her knees, bowing at the man whom you know very well.

“my lord,” you stammer out, being the first to speak up and address him. you’re surprised to see sukuna back this early from his business trip. he normally stays away from the estate for days on end.

sukuna’s footsteps are heavy. his strides are menacingly slow. the aura surrounding him makes the others shake—one concubine being smart enough to bow to him. the king of curses is not one to be messed with, especially when he’s angry.

“tsk. have you lost all your respect while i was gone?” sukuna growls, seeing how the group of concubines are frozen in place with fearful expressions on their faces. the fact that they’re not bowing before him worsens his temper, “kneel.”

he raises one hand and they all knew what was going to happen. you squeal and shut your eyes, hearing that familiar and dooming sound of slashes around you. it doesn’t sound like they’ve hit anything, so you peek through your eyelashes.

you see how the group of women have dropped to their knees the instant sukuna raised his hand in that specific manner. everyone knew just what that meant; death to anyone who’s got their head held high in his presence.

you’ve all seen enough people get decapitated by that same action to know that the sorcerer was not playing around.

sukuna scoffs. he walks up towards you, ignoring the pleas of the other concubines that are begging for his forgiveness. his bottom set of eyes look down at them with disdain before focusing on your figure again.

he silently stands still at the edge of the fountain. his large frame looms over you and you find yourself struggling to get up from the water to bow at him as well. you keep your eyes on your lap, “i’m sorry, my lord.”

sukuna hisses at your apology. a warning for you to shut your mouth. you’re apologising when it’s not your fault and that irritates him more than anything. two of his strong arms reach down to pick you up from your vulnerable position.

the king of curses hoists you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing. he’s not bothered by the fact that you’re dripping wet. in fact, both of his left arms wrap around your torso in attempt to warm you up.

“stay. you’ll all be dealt with accordingly when i return,” sukuna harshly orders your aggressors as he turns around and walks away from the group. he carries you in his arms, not sparing a single glance at his concubines.

he doesn’t even care that he stepped on one of the women’s hands as he passed by. the high pitched shriek only serves to annoy him, which you notice by the way he squeezes your waist in response.

it’s silent between you two for a bit. sukuna steps inside of the estate, his ominous aura making you hesistant to speak. you decide to stay quiet for the sake of keeping the peace. for now.

sukuna’s breathing is a little heavy. he’s trying not to lash out or say anything hurtful. he doesn’t like raising his voice at you—but sometimes he feels like he needs to. especially when you land in situations like those.

“how long has this been going on?” sukuna asks through a heavy sigh. his red eyes are focused on the end of the hallway, where his chambers lay. the veins in his neck look like they could pop out any second now, “and don’t you dare fuckin’ lie to me, y’hear?”

you gulp. you’ve never been so nervous to answer him, ever. you attempt to respond, “uhm, for quite a while, my lord.”

sukuna breathes in sharply at the revelation. the fact that you did not specify your answer only made him think that it’s worse than you’re making it out to be. he stops in his tracks, two hands on your waist as he forces you to face him.

your body dangles in the air as sukuna makes you look at him from up close, showing you that dangerous look in his eyes. you do not dare to avert your gaze from his as he speaks.

“you should’ve told me the moment they started disrespecting you like that,” sukuna grunts. another big hand grabs your jaw firmly, squeezing your cheeks together. you whine as it hurt a little. he scoffs and releases your jaw with a light push, “pathetic.”

you feel your body get thrown into your original position once more. your head is upside down and your legs hang limply over his shoulder. you try to defend yourself in a quiet tone, “i thought you were too busy. i didn’t want to bother you with such unimportant matters.”

it’s true. as much as you wanted to tell sukuna about the mistreatment you were receiving, you knew how busy he was attending to more urgent business. you didn’t want to annoy him with your own problems that you could easily solve.

if only you could stand up for yourself.

“nonsense,” sukuna raises his voice in a moment of weakness, though remembers that you’ve probably been through enough for the day. he doesn’t need to add to that by treating you like shit as well.

he simply sighs it off, “unimportant, huh? ‘s that how you think i view you?”

you raise an eyebrow at sukuna’s last sentence. you’re at a loss for words. you know sukuna values you more than any of his other concubines—it’s the main reason you’re getting bullied for—yet you never heard him speak to you in such a surprisingly soft way.

almost like he’s disappointed that you don’t realise the extent of his favoritsm. he cares about you more than you actually think he does.

“i-i’m sorry, my lord,” you stutter. you really do not have a clue about what to say. all you can do is apologise as you’re left overthinking that one little sentence he said.

“what a brat,” sukuna quickly regains his usual stoic and stern composure. he reaches his chambers and enters his personal bathroom before putting you down on your feet. he looks down at your short stature, feeling the warmth of your body leave his skin once you’re separated.

sukuna watches you shiver. he wants to get angry at you for not telling him about anything that’s been going on while he’s not present, though he simply cannot at the moment.

he’ll let you off the hook for now. but, he’s surely going to give you your own special scolding after he’s taken care of the other concubines. the man grabs a large towel from nearby and messily wraps it around your upper body.

sukuna turns around to walk out of his bathroom, looking over his shoulder once more, “get dressed into something else before you catch a cold.”

he calls for a couple servants to tend to you while he’s away to take care of those deviant concubines. sukuna watches the three maids rush to your service, preparing you a new set of clothes as well as trying to dry you off.

his gaze lingers on you for more than is necessary, his jaw clenching at the sight of you trembling from the low temperatures you’re experiencing. sukuna’s going to make sure those other women pay for what they’ve done to you.

he leaves the bathroom after that, though not without leaving you an order to follow;

“you’re staying in my chambers tonight.”

#sttoru writes. #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x you #jjk x y/n #sukuna x y/n #jjk fluff #jjk angst #sukuna fluff #sukuna angst

[toruslvt]

 CALL BACK LATER !

[ your ex is on the line ? tell him to fuck off ]

⋆ toji fushiguro, sukuna ryomen, satoru gojo + fem!reader

 ⋆ mdni. a lot of cursing, exhibitionism through phone calls. tags for each character; toji: you and him a have a one night stand, protected sex, ( who is this bitch that's so not me ), facetiming, hair pulling ( not in a mean way ). sukuna: established relationship, matting press. satoru: taking pics. pet names used: princess, baby, angel.

TOJI

five times, it’s been five times since your phone screen started to buzz to life with an incoming call of someone registered as ‘trash’, Toji didn’t care, you were just a good fuck in the backseat of his car after a night of drinks.

the problem was how much you squirmed underneath him each time the dark space was lit up by your phone, currently tossed in the carpet. “fuckin’ hell” he grunts, stopping his movements while his hands were tightly pressed on the small of your back, arching your body for his cock to reach deeper in the tight depts of your pussy, now still and throbbing, almost filling the condom with how much precum his tip drooled.

“can’t fuck you properly if you keep tightening up, princess” Toji huffs, leaving a soft smack on your ass, making the skin jiggle as he bends down, picking your phone up and inspecting the screen with a slight smirk, “boyfriend?”

“ex” you whine, muffled by the leather of his backseat.

the scarred corner of his lip tilts up, just slightly before your phone rings again, although this time, Toji presses on the green button, accepting the face call.

“babe, I'm sorry! i di— who the fuck are you?” the gruff voice of a man resonates through the cramped space.

“listen, man” Toji replies, his voice mocking and slightly slurred, accompanied by the slow buck of his hips against your ass, slowly stinking in the warmth tightness of your cunt that fluttered wildly, from the thrill of being heard... or perhaps his skills were still unmatched.

Toji picks up the pace once again, your moans present and accompanied by the wet sound of skin slapping “the lady here is quite busy, why don’t you call back later.”

“why don’t you fuck off, let me speak to her” your ex exclaims, quite agitated as realization starts to set in his features. a shrug is the only response Toji gives, followed by a soft chuckle, big fingers tightening in your forehead and a couple hair strands before pulling up, your face a complete mess of tears and drool, mascara running down your cheeks for your ex to see through the screen, the older men’s mess created on your trembling body, desperate to cum around his fat cock, his own face coming into the frame as he leans down against your shoulder.

“like I told you, man, she is quite busy right now”

SUKUNA

a raised brow is the only reaction your phone gets from Sukuna, a hand tightly gripping your hips, mercilessly pounding your pussy while the other holds the device up, scanning it with a slight smirk before tossing it to you.

“answer” is what he says, still smirking to himself as he slides a hand under your thigh, forcing your hips to rise off the bed as he continues to fuck you deep, messily staining your asscheeks with the slick and precum that oozes out of your hole, “c’mon, i’m getting quite irritated to hear that ringtone, answer and end with it” your boyfriend huffs, although there was a hint of mischief underneath, and you never really trusted his sudden ‘kind’ behaviors.

you swallow deeply, attempting to maintain your voice steadily as you pick up your ex’s phone call, his voice immediately coming into your ears, as well as Sukuna’s deep rumble coming from the bottom of his throat.

and you really should have expected it, for Sukuna to bend down, cup your thighs and force you into a mating press, growling in delight at the way your eyes flutter close, voice stutters and pussy clamps around his cock, gripping him like a vice.

it’s a sharp squeal that comes from your lips, one that is quickly quieted down by his hand on your mouth, giving you a knowing look before retreating it, “behave, finish the call, and i’ll let you cum” he rasps, breath hot and fanning over your neck, sending shivers down your spine while your ex’s voice remains unheard and unimportant in the back.

reduced to being patient, you can only exhale shakily, the phone in your hand about to snap from the tight grip on it, perhaps just like your hips from the intensity of Sukuna’s thrusts on you, making your body bounce on the bed by how hard his cocks drives into the depths of your cunt, positively scraping across your g-spot as you felt your brain shortcut each time.

not even paying attention to your ex, you barely mutter a couple ‘mhm’s constantly, not aware of what you’ve agreed or refused to as your phone calls ends with a hurried “thank you, baby!” from your ex, or at least you think the call has ended as your phone drops to the floor, not really caring as your nails dig on your boyfriend’s back, your moans finally coming freely.

“that’s a good girl, now cum all over your boyfriend’s cock” Sukuna growls, putting an extra accent in the word boyfriend, but you didn’t pay attention to it.

SATORU

it spurs Satoru to know your ex is most definitely hearing your desperate cries of pleasure, it brings him a sense of power, bursts his ego and only urges him into fucking you harder.

it’s not a surprise for you when Satoru goes hard, he often tends to go pussydrunk and pounds you nonstop until himself is panting and growling in pleasure, with sweat dripping down his body and prints of his fingers on your body.

the thing that does surprise you is how vocal he becomes, not by moaning, but by speaking.

“does it feel good, angel?” “you want me to keep going, yeah? right there? oh such a good girl, I can feel your cute pussy clamping on me” he growls, making your whimpers only increase by each raspy word coming out of your boyfriend.

your moans turn into high pitched whines, the rhythmically sound of skin meeting into heavy, wet and erratic slaps of sweat and precum coated skin, and your phone marks 20 minutes ever since he picked up the call for you; you really got a thing for picking pervert boyfriends.

“only I can make you feel this way, hm?” Satoru grins, picking up your phone and closing the phone app, keeping it in the background as he opens the camera, “you’re so wet, can feel you twitching around me” he smirks, biting on the tip of his tongue to conceal a chuckle in delight how you tighten up, thighs shaking and chest heaving.

“come, baby, need to feel you cumming around my cock, make a mess, my love, and let me keep this beautiful pic forever”

it doesn’t take much before your orgasm takes over, and Satoru is quick to follow behind, splattering his thick cum all over your lower belly that manages to get captured by your phone camera.

“so pretty, this will work wonderfully for when the pest decide to continue bothering you”

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk toji fushiguro smut #jjk sukuna smut #jjk satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen toji smut #jujutsu kaisen sukuna smut #jujutsu kaisen satoru smut #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #𐔌᭥ᩙ༉