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snapscube · 10 months

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hey big fan of your channel and art!! was wondering if for the midnight snap series what kind of sound design you were doing it rlly sounds nice!! (also smth that could be nice with it is maybe a little bit of like tape saturation or something might be able to make the audio sound "warmer" if youre like not already doing something like that already, but you probably know better than me!!) feel free to ignore that, but wanted to say in general its so well done and sounds so good!!! its really cozy and nice!!

hey thank you!!! yeah i'd.... genuinely LOVE to talk about my thinking and approach behind the sound design, i'm actually so happy you asked me this LOL this is the kind of shit i live for.

you might assume that it's just me recording the game audio and talking quietly with my normal stream settings, and that is kinda how it STARTS, but there's actually a bit more i've been doing behind the scenes :) nothing too crazy just yet but a little goes a long way when it comes to sound! i'm hoping to really nail down the soundscape and increase the quality over time and specifically up the soothing vibes by a lot. as well as get a little better about mic etiquette and my style of speech. BUT in terms of what i'm doing in post:

the first piece of the puzzle and definitely one of the most important sauces in the whole mix is the Hard Limiter. it does what you might imagine it does, basically just places a hard barrier and says "any sounds that exceed this volume.... no you don't", sort of like a much more intense compressor. currently i have a Hard Limiter on both my commentary AND the game audio, commentary i have set to peak at around -15 to -12 db, whereas game audio is more around the -23 to -20 range. in my more polished audio from later in the AC episode it's enough difference that one doesn't drown the other out in most cases, but not a wide enough gulf that people are struggling to pay attention to one in particular or have to frequently change volume (preferably they don't have to change it at all!). i took this screenshot of the episode's complete waveform when rendering out the audio-only version of AC part 1 and it was super satisfying cause like.... yeah. this is exactly the kind of waveform read i was going for. just super even and smooth across the board, save for a couple anomalies i'll buff out over time.

the next thing i do to both my own commentary and the game audio is actually just cutting down on harsher, higher frequencies with an EQ and just upping the bassier, warmer tones. i started with something super small in the first couple of episodes, i'm probably gonna go a bit harder on it for future stuff though. i wanna find a balance that doesn't make the game sound unrecognizable or anything but is noticeably easier on the ears and sounds more like a nice rolling wave rather than beep boop pac-man time.

past this i have a couple more things added to the commentary track:

to intensify the previous effect mentioned and cut down on harsh frequencies in my speech, i actually have a dedicated de-esser on my voice as well as my usual warmer EQ. i have the de-esser going pretty hard too, you might hear the difference from my usual stream commentary if you were to listen closely. really just taking those harsh t's and s's in my speech and making them sound more like a nice "shhhh", this one is super important i think

last thing i have to speak on otherwise is actually a plugin i found and bought specifically for this show and ends up being subtle but i think SUUUPER helpful in the long run, and that's this plugin called "spiff". spiff is a plugin by oeksound and i guess it's referred to as like, a transient editor? i'm actually not sure how it works at all on the nitty gritty level BUT the important thing is that they have a very important preset in the software, and that is a preset specifically designed to lessen and/or remove like... mouth sounds. yknow like lip smacks and the like. just kinda the gross smacks and clicks you don't hear as much in normal speech but can come through really intensely on a recording and kinda make ya uncomfortable. it obviously doesn't remove a lot of the more intense stuff, it's not a magic wand in my experience. but listening to the output of what it's removing on its own makes it REALLY clear there's a lot of little things it picks up and just kinda makes speech more soothing to listen to. not something i'm racing to apply to my normal streams, BUT for a sleep aid series where good audio is key????? 100% worth it, i like it a lot.

anyway yeah that's about it for now! a lot of it is pretty simple in and of itself but it's stuff i've been working at and experimenting with since i first started doing tests for the show and it's gonna be real nice to keep honing this stuff in. also cool suggestion with the tape saturation idea, i might look into something like that! once i nail stuff like leveling and frequency tuning for this show, i wanna look into some fancier ways of making the soundscape unique to this show compared to my normal streams so ideas like that are super helpful!

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starlit-mansion · 2 years

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Now that you've caught up on a bunch of ego videos, what do you think of it all? :3

I don't want to pit two queens (mark and seán) against each other but it's hard not to a little bit because youtuber alterego sketches are kind of a very... niche genre and frankly i'm not a big enough fan of other people who i've seen do it (like thomas sanders or... contrapoints??? i guess????) to compare off the top of my head.

Seán is just like......... startlingly good at dramatic acting? He is, i think, passible to decent at comedic acting, but not that remarkable among his peers, but weirdly anything he plays straight REALLY sticks with me? Like... a while ago, i saw the opening sketch from some horror series or smth that i didn't even watch clipped to twitter, and it was like. This completely wordless short film of him getting a package and opening it up and finding his own severed head, and i STILL think about it from time to time because it was just made really well. It was EXTREMELY uncomfortable, but not in a way that grossed me out or felt traumatizing (i sometimes have problems with filmed horror because it's too visceral), but because it felt so mundane and convincing while still being skincrawling. Less is more. (I might have some details wrong here, idk.)

Come to think about it, his acting in the tie dye ten minute power hour with the game grumps was also really fucking good for what it was. Like. There was no need to go that hard but he carried it.

I was... maybe more tense than was merited when i watched "say goodbye" (insert zalgo text), because it really just genuinely felt like his content from the time (i was somewhat casual fan and regular viewer for a year or so back in the beginning of the green hair era, so like, 2015?), but the breaks in character were so subtle that it felt.......... extra wrong. Like weirdly in 2022, the nostagia factor made it work better.

I also like how the need for a punchline has been peeled away more and more from the ego content. It's not that there's no humor... the dialogue was funny in the most video, there were bits, but it all served characterization and emotional connection rather than Jokes For Audience To Laugh At. You could watch that video with no idea who Chase is and be 100% drawn in to the core of the character (case in point, that's what happened to corv, they were doing watercolors when i put it on our tv and had never seen any of seán's ego content, and they groked that chase was super divorced before it was said lol). A lot of mark's stuff still feels like *sketches* with occasional emotional connective tissue, which isn't a bad thing by any means, but it's notable how different of a sensibility seán has... and in a weird way, they play in the same twinned truth: the audience is an intrinsic part of this, the eyes of 10, 20, 30 million people are inescapable. Seán plays into the horror aspect of it, which could easily become corny or trite, but doesn't, because he's got the restraint to pull it off.

As for the egos themselves, i don't have any deep cuts of faves (and not... a *great* sense of most of them) but also. Unfortunately Chase and Anti are two of my Known Types: pathetic divorced man who's extremely performative but losing his ability to cope or convince others, and grinning, chaotic supernatural being who has to possess or manipulate other people to enact his will (some of the girlies like vampires or werewolves but this bitch here has a sleeper fixation on poltergeists and trickster figures...) So needless to say, i am INVESTED now that i actually put in the time to get current.

#this is tooooo long lol #jacksepticeye

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 1 year

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Strange question, but how do you imagine the different courts winnowing? Like I feel like they're,, uh,, 'winnow animation' is based off their court power. Like Rhsyand's is the dark night stuff we saw, and I saw in another fic that Eris' and Lucien's would be kind of like going up in flames. Helion's would be a bright light, Tarquin would be kind of like going underwater, Kallias and Viviane would be like a blizzard. Tamlin would be kind of like,, idk wrapped up in a flower or smth. Thesan would be.. idk. Off topic what the FUCK does the dawn court do?? Do they just,,, invent things? Like the friend that made Lucien's eye? What is their power? Day Court is known for spellbreaking and knowledge so ig it wouldn't be too far off for Dawn Court to just be,, inventing things but it feels strange 😭

So I know this is probably a less fun answer, but I always imagined winnowing to be almost completely silent. I know Rhysand's wedding crash was described as super loud, like two boulders colliding, but I think he intentionally did that and he did that for the ✨drama✨.

And I know there's a sound effect for the audiobook, but it is god fucking awful. 🤣

I feel like I kind of imagined it similar to apparating in the Harry Potter universe, but even more subtle and mystical.

I took a few sound design classes so the idea of them creating these magical sound effects for a possible tv show is actually so fascinating to me.

I actually imagined it sound like a soft breeze, but in reverse:

Example A & Example B – but like even more subtle. Like a whisper and with more reverb.

In regards to the look of them, I honestly never pictured them looking different based on their court or powers. But it is super interesting that it's how you imagined it. And you could totally be right and I've been the one picturing it incorrectly.

I thought winnowing would be consistent with all fae that can do it. (Though I imagined Azriel's very different since he's technically not winnowing, but like shadow jumping.)

But I always imagined winnowing as like a tear in the air. And whoever is winnowing being sucked into it like a vacuum almost.

Honestly, I kind imagined it looking like apparating in Harry Potter again. 🤦‍♀️

--------

And for Dawn Court, I think their specialty is healing and inventing, I guess. I find it interesting that SJM kept that court the most mysterious and gave such little knowledge about it. Maybe it's because it will have a bigger role and will also explain why there is not a Dusk Court...

#acotar #winnow #winnowing #a court of thorns & roses #fae #dawn court #dawn court acotar #thesan #thesan acotar

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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Saturnine. Yan Chrollo x Reader [SMUT]

Tags/warnings: Dubcon, oral sex, creampie, my brain melting, condescending ???, Chrollo always has smth to say Word count: 2.2k. Note: it is finally done .

When gazing into the mirror, it should be easy to recognize the reflection staring back as your own. It’s the sight you’ve seen your entire life. Maybe the light in your eyes is less noticeable and your smiles no longer appear genuine, but in the end, it still physically bears your image.

You shiver at the chilly air kissing your bare skin, goosebumps erupting at the lack of clothing. Thin fabric clings tightly around your body, sheer and intricate in its lace design, yet astonishingly soft to the touch. It accentuates the swell of your chest, the black as midnight fabric stopping just shy above your midriff. A matching thong connects to sheer thigh highs through a garter belt to complete the set. Never in your life can you recall wearing such a lascivious outfit. Nor did you think you’d ever wear one for him.

Covering your exposed cleavage with your arms, you lower your head, fingernails pressing so harshly against your skin that it hurts. The pain serves to ground you in reality, proof that this is happening and not a dream.

“Did I… do this right?” You murmur, not used to how Chrollo is wordlessly assessing your trembling figure. Normally the air is full of conversation, equal parts rigid and provocative, a verbal game you’ve been forced to navigate. You still prefer the mind games over this maddening silence. You’re convinced he can hear the way your heart pounds viciously as if it was attempting to free itself from your body altogether, the current stress it’s under too much to withstand.

Chrollo moves a step closer and you take a deep, shaky breath. Grey eyes rake over your body, like a predator monitoring its prey, inspecting every inch of you. He spreads his fingers against your stomach, coarse fingers gliding over your skin, gradually moving upwards.

“Mm. You did perfectly.” His voice is rich and husky against your ear, spoken lowly so that only you may hear it. When his fingers reach their intended target, he cups your chest and lays his head on your shoulder. You watch his actions in the reflection of the mirror, glossy lips parting but no words managing to form on your tongue. Emotions swirl within you like an unrelenting vortex. Repulsion. Frustration. Shame. That it came to this, lowering yourself to a level you never wanted to be reduced to.

While you ruminate in your misery, Chrollo presses featherlight kisses from the crook of your neck to your jaw. His lips are soft and well taken care of, curling into a smile at how your pulse quickens. There are numerous mysterious surrounding Chrollo, but you do not doubt that he’s enjoying himself now. Your attention is brought back to his hands on your chest and how he kneads them. A blush ignites when you feel something hard press brush your ass, already guessing what it is.

“S-so you’re going to,” you struggle to get out, releasing a gasp when he suddenly pinches your nipple, “Keep… keep your promise, right?”

The clarification is for your peace of mind. An internal justification is necessary to continue with this illicit act, doubts plaguing your mind. You feel his chest rumble against your back, a deep chuckle leaving him. Regret comes swiftly, knowing that anytime you speak to Chrollo his responses sting deep, piercing your skin and festering.

One of his hands comes to your jaw, tilting your head back to look at him. The proximity has your eyes wide as a doe, his warm breath fanning against your face, dark tresses of hair tickling your face. His grip is tight but not painful. A not so subtle reminder of the Phantom Troupe leader’s innate strength, that goes beyond any measurement your mind could conjure up. Your squeeze your eyes shut when he leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the edge of your lips.

“What if I don’t?” Chrollo’s question has you frowning, eyelids fluttering open so you can shoot him a glare. He stares back unfazed, amusement visible from his closed mouth smile and relaxed posture, clearly not feeling intimidated by your little show. You decide to give it some thought, knowing he’ll scrutinize your response if not chosen carefully. Though, it’s admittedly difficult to concentrate when your face is burning up and his hand is still groping your chest.

Swallowing thickly, you arrive at a half-decent comeback. “I’ll… I’ll hate you.”

It sounded far better in your head.

Chrollo raises an eyebrow at your rebuttal but decides to entertain it. “Don’t you already?”

“I’ll hate you even more,” comes your reply, stumbling out before you could think it over. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he doesn’t take visible offense. Instead, the bastard laughs again. Affectionately, Chrollo brushes his knuckles over your cheek, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Even more, huh,” he hums, your nonsensical ramblings sounding worse when repeated back. “If that’s the threat I’m contending with, then I’ll be sure to stick to my word.”

You’re not exactly reassured by this, but decide to leave it for now. Suddenly, Chrollo steps back, freeing you from his grip. Before you can ask about what he’s doing, his hands start loosening his belt. Ah. So the time for negotiating is over. His dress pants fall, revealing a prominent bulge pushing against his briefs.

“Now get on your knees for me.”

It wasn’t a request. You do as he says, hyper-aware of how he’s staring at you, the tile from your shared master bedroom cold against your shins. To save what little modesty you have remaining, you readjust your bra so your chest no longer threatens to spill out. Heartbeat picking up in pace, you lift a shaky hand, palming his crotch through the fabric.

The muscles in his thighs tighten, yet every other aspect of him remains thoroughly composed. Playing with the waistband, you slowly pull it down, revealing Chrollo’s half-hard member. It’s long, around six inches when erect, with a prominent vein that you’ve learned is rather sensitive. Precum is already leaking from the head, a sight that worsens the blush on your face.

Chrollo runs his hands through your hair, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. You pick up on the unspoken encouragement to not keep him waiting. Readjusting yourself into a more comfortable position, you take his dick fully into your hands, giving it a tentative stroke to test the waters. No verbal response. He’s excellent at maintaining his composure, creepy as it may be. Pumping his cock from the base, you bow your head down, eyelids fluttering shut as you kiss and lick the tip. That earns you a sharp inhale and a tightened grip but nothing else. Wetting your lips with your tongue, you continue licking the tip while jerking him off, noting that his cum has a slight salty taste to it.

Now that your confidence has somewhat been built up, you part your lips to take more of him in, getting adjusted to his size. Chrollo lets out a shaky exhale, fingers curling deeper into your hair. It’s difficult to get into a solid rhythm as your anxiety is unrelenting. Being so vulnerable in front of a person whose hands, which are now intertwined with your hair, have slaughtered countless people.

He could do the same to you at any time, you think, despite his insistence for not wanting to. Hollowing out your cheeks, you manage to take more of him in, stopping just shy as not to activate your gag reflex. It makes your stomach churn when he lovingly strokes your cheek, looking down at you with eyes glazed over with crazed lust. Of course, he wouldn’t make this easy on you and act different — he continues with the delusion that this is love.

“Eager, now are we?” Chrollo laughs breathlessly. You decide to ignore the comment, too focused on having him finish so you can move on with your night. The low groans and whispers of your name are starting to affect you, a factor that only adds to your shame.. Pangs of heat are building up in between your legs, which you subconsciously rub together in a feeble attempt to relieve yourself. Chrollo quietly groans, content at the sight, dick twitching in your mouth. You wish he hadn’t noticed just how turned on you’re growing — not that you’re surprised with how unfairly observant he is — fully prepared for more scathing comments.

“I’m glad you stopped being so stubborn,” he pushes himself deeper into your mouth, gripping your head tightly enough not to let you move away, “So I can finally have my way with you.”

You wince at how he forces his dick down your throat, tears stinging the corners of your eyes and lungs screaming for air. Chrollo drinks in the sight, shuddering, bucking his hips, and pulling your face as tight against him as he can. You figure his release is getting closer from how erratic his movements are growing. At least it’ll be over soon. This line of thought is interrupted as he pulls away, saliva and cum connecting your mouth to his dick in a thin line, which has you frowning. Relishing the opportunity to regain yourself, your lungs greedily gulp in air, and you cough from his previous actions.

Chrollo extends a hand out to you which you hesitantly accept. The more human side is starting to show, his skin sheening with sweat, bare chest heaving for air much like yours, and black tresses sticking to the sides of his face. Your lips part, intending to ask why he stopped. He places both his just hands below your ass, hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing. Yelping, you struggle and cling to him as not to fall, eyes wide with confusion.

“W-what—”

“Wrap your legs around me,” he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead and you do as he says, scared that you’ll fall otherwise. “Mm. Good girl.”

Chrollo carries you over to the wall, your back pressing against the hard surface and feeling its coolness on your bare skin. After thinking about it for a moment, you understand what it is he intends to do next, tightening your grip around him. He positions the head of his cock against your opening, smiling at how wet you are. At least he’s too focused to comment on your current state. You look to the side, not wanting to see the pleased expression you know is on his face.

“I’ll take care of you after,” Chrollo promises, slowly pushing himself inside you. You take a deep breath, gripping his shoulders tightly, fingernails digging into his skin. At least he’s allowing you to adjust. You yelp when he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging it so that you look him dead in the eye. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Hm?”

A half-choked out moan leaves your lips as he fills you, feeling his sizeable length stretching you out.

“Y-yes,” You pant, carnal desire outweighing any solid reasoning at the moment. Chrollo continues to pound relentlessly into your cunt, burying his face in your neck. He’s coming undone, fucking you with a strength that has you breathless. You catch occasional guttural groans of your name and don’t want to admit how nice it sounds.

“I always knew you’d come around.”

The sound of skin on skin fills the room, mixed in with his grunts and your moans. Squeezing your ass, his thrusts grow erratic, before he finally stills. Chrollo releases deep inside you, pulling you down onto him, hot ropes of cum filling you and seeping out.

He grits his teeth, shuddering at his release. All is still for a moment aside from your heavy chests. Chrollo gathers himself before you do, slowly pulling himself out. You feel his cum as it drips out of you and bite your lip at the possible implications. Everything is so warm and your body feels terribly sore, having to clutch onto him for stability when he puts you back down. Chrollo doesn’t seem to mind this, laughing as he runs his hands through your mousled hair.

“How precious.”

You yelp when he picks you up, bridal style this time, your face pressing against his chest.

“It looks like you needed some help there, dear.” Chrollo hums, placing you down onto the bed with a gentleness you weren’t used to. There’s no way any normal human could be this collected already. Taking deep breaths, you attempt to calm yourself, not wanting to be completely undone before him. Chrollo watches with intrigue while you do so, his eyes piercing through your trembling body. When you finally manage to get your breathing steady, he gently pushes your shoulders down and spreads your legs.

“Now, about that promise of mine,” he presses open-mouthed kisses from your ankle to your thighs, “I intend to keep it. We’ll keep going until you’re no longer able to stand.”

#chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #chrollo imagine #chrollo lucilfer imagine #chrollo #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere #yandere x reader #not sfw #tw: dubcon #yandere hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter imagine #hxh x reader #yandere hxh x reader #my stuff

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

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Thank you SO much for this blog, it’s seriously helped me a ton <333

I’m sorry if you’ve answered stuff like this before, I couldn’t really find it, but I’m just… conflicted I guess?

Both of my parents were abused growing up, my dad was more “textbook” and he knew it and my mom thinks hers was perfect even though she was forced to grow up early and went through a lot of traumatic things, both in her childhood and due to my dad. They both abuse my siblings and I, and I thought my mom at least was realizing and accepting it, but on Christmas I realized that she just learned how to deflect and ignore us in more subtle ways.

I just… she refuses therapy for herself bc she thinks it’s a waste of time and that there’s no point if she already messed us up, and I’m happy that she allows us to do therapy, but I’m *so* frustrated. (And I won’t even dare bring up the topic of abuse with my dad)

I don’t know what to feel about my parents. I want to cut contact but I feel so bad for them because they put so much time and energy into us only for it to not work out. They’re both so toxic and I can’t have an opinion that goes against either of them otherwise I’m being too much or being manipulated by someone that disagrees. (They mostly bad talk each other but my mom is convinced my elder siblings manipulated me bc I wasn’t on her side when she was being super close minded and pretty bigoted to us, and she started sending mixed signals abt how I should feel about my dad, smth my dad does with me as well when it comes to my mom)

I just feel bad for them and it’s making me confused about my feelings and their manipulation sure isn’t helping. Idk. They’ve caused me pain in different ways literally all my life and have affected my relationships with others negatively but I feel like I can’t show that bc they spent over a decade, even two raising me and my siblings. It’s like a waste and I don’t want them to feel like failures even if they did fail.

At this point I’m rambling, sorry, and it’s fine if you don’t feel like answering! Thank you for taking the time to read <333 Once again, I love this blog so much!

I am so sorry, it sounds like no matter how you try to figure out what is happening, you are stopped by this compulsion to put your parent's feeling first, to think of their lives and their effort from raising you. It must be very confusing and hard to find your way out of this situation where you get hurt, but leaving feels too forbidden or inconsiderate or ungrateful.

Raising kids is something people do when they want to help another human being grow. It's not done to ensure debt, gratitude, unconditional love, future services, or someone to keep stuck at home. If your parents expect you to forever be of service, then they shouldn't have raised a kid, but hired a maid. It's not on you if they completely mis-purposed raising a kid into 'raising a little servant who isn't allowed to leave even if they're abused and at most we will allow therapy but the abuse will never stop'. That is a ridiculous expectation of you!

It also sounds like they spent a great amount of raising you on just abusing you, then covering up abuse, then pretending they didn't know they were hurting you. I don't think they deserve that much credit if they couldn't even raise you healthily – it's you who will forever suffer the consequences of their neglect, lack of care, deflecting abuse, not being interested in therapy, or flatly being dangerous if abuse is ever brought up. Your parents sound dangerous. You don't owe anyone to spend your life in contact with dangerous people.

Their attitude towards you also doesn't show love 'oh it's too late i've already messed you up', or finding ways to deflect and ignore you, that is the attitude of people who don't care what you're going thru. They're invested to control your opinions and their perception of you, but never how you're feeling, if you're okay, if you need more care and kindness than this. If they raised you with the same or worse attitude, you don't have to give them any credit. You were 'raised' on abuse and grooming. You missed out on the actual experience of a healthy, happy childhood. They took from you a lot more than they gave. They act all entitled and like you should feel bad for them, but it's them who deserve to feel ashamed.

I don't want to put any pressure on you, it's okay to do whatever you feel the most comfortable with, but all the guilt, and debt you feel about being raised, needs to come off of your shoulders. You ddn't cause that, you didn't do anything to cause getting born to people who would hold it against you. You deserve to choose freely.

#ask #furiousgoldfish #abusive parents #emotional manpulation #lack of accountabilitz #dismissing abuse

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mikami · 3 years

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I haven't read/watched Platinum End, but I guess this is kind of a broader discussion off of your ask. I'm gonna assume you like Death Note a great deal, so, isn't it so odd when an author that creates something that hits all the right spots and that you love then writes something that you dislike so completely that you cannot comprehend how it's from the same person? How can you simultaneously love and dislike what they do to this jarring degree? I hate it when it happens to me, lol.

Honestly, I have not respected Ohba as a person in many years, so Platinum End was predictably underwhelming when it came out.

I can absolutely comprehend how PE and DN are by the same person - one of them was playing to Ohba's strengths the other is playing to his weaknesses.

As a writer Ohba is really good at crafting stories that simply entertain - in Death Note he does a fantastic job at it precisely because the character writing is secondary to the suspense of the detective story. In Platinum End Ohba has a story that is more focused on personal drama and reveals exactly why he didn't write it before - he's just... not very good at it. His subtle characterization is better than his bigger character pieces.

The other thing is that Ohba writes to entertain, to sell. The success of Death Note works to his detriment here because he knows referencing his hit series a ton is bound to get reader engagement - and that actively counteracts PE being good as its own story.

Also they let him write for a magazine that has a higher age rating so the sexism that was always present in his writing could turn to the rampant sexualization we see in PE...

A perfect storm of bad conditions, honestly.

To me Death Note as a work is like... I am very attached to it, but part of how attached I am is how intimately it ties into my personal history? I am extremely fond of it because it's been with me so long, but I have also grown up enough to recognize the many ways in which it is a flawed text.

I think if a different author who wrote smth I love came out with a horribly bad work I would be more heartbroken about it, but with Ohba I am like.... yep. That tracks.

#answers #i do think he has generally declined as a writer though #his stuff used to feel a lot more fresh and more inspired #so. that's sad ig

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doiefy · 3 years

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next time you see me, I may be smiling // lee jeno

genre: fluff, angst pairing: jeno x gn. reader word count: 1.2k warnings: the usual profanity, mentions of smoking and alcohol

Very loosely inspired by the Netflix series Money Heist, but contains no spoilers (I’m pretty sure...? lmfao). Was thinking about naming people after cities like they did in the series but it seemed a little bit overboard? Just the thought of referring to Johnny as “Chicago” or smth made me choke.

Title refers to the lyrics of an English version of Bella Ciao, and it just so happened to fit what I was going for :D

Jeno took a long drag from his cigarette, sighing in contentment as a puff of white smoke spilled into the night air. You plucked the cigarette from his fingers, brought it up to your own lips, inhaled until a pleasant sting hit the back of your throat. It engulfed your senses in a certain familiarity and comfort—it silenced the thoughts circulating your head, the demons that’d chased you out of sleep and forced you to sneak up onto the roof where you could breathe again.

It wasn’t like you weren’t allowed to be up here; though sneaking around like this, staying up when you had such a long day ahead of you… Johnny would likely scold you for it. But at nearly five in the morning, he wasn’t awake to do so, and you doubted anyone else was either. The house was quiet, perfectly still except for the boy sitting next to you. Even he was motionless, his eyes half-closed as he tangled his fingers with yours. He turned his head ever so slightly, just enough for his eyes to find yours in the darkness.

His lips curved up into the faintest smile. You missed his smile. Not the ghostly, half-amused smirks he sent you these days—but the toothy grins, the eye smiles, the wholehearted laughs he’d let out whenever you said something even decently funny. That was years ago, when the two of you were just idiot teens on the run, years before he’d grown into himself. Things were different now.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He asked in a quiet whisper. He reached over to tuck a stray piece of your hair back in place, the cigarette still balanced between two of his fingers.

“Nothing,” you murmured. “Just… worried.” You paused, looking out at the waterfront as you did so habitually on these kinds of nights. “What do you think about? Before a heist?”

Jeno was quiet for a few moments. When you turned back to him, you found him staring thoughtfully at a fixed point in front of him, unmoving, silent. You’d asked the others the same question in the last week, and they’d all answered jokingly, dismissively, as if it was a silly inquiry to be brushed aside. For Jaemin, it was filling a pool up with cash and swimming through it. For Renjun, it was showering the city with money like Robin Hood and for Doyoung, it was watching the havoc he’d wreaked repotred on every TV channel. Such grand, villainous gestures blurted out without much thought so you wouldn’t see that they were just as terrified as you were.

Not a single person had said anything about being caught. Not a single person had said a single thing about everything that could go horribly wrong.

“I guess I don’t,” Jeno finally said with a simple shrug.

“You what?”

“I don’t think about anything,” he elaborated hastily, as if the answer were obvious. Perhaps it did make a bit of sense, why he’d paused for so long to search for an answer. He had none.

“Nothing?” You questioned, raising a brow curiously. “Not even when it’s all we ever talk about? All the planning and practicing and shit every single day?”

He chuckled. It was maybe the closest you would ever get to hearing his laughter again, the closest you would ever get to seeing him happy again. “I know the plan, I know the consequences and I know how this will probably end. I can’t really bring myself to overthink it. It kinda fucks you in the head.”

“No crazy fantasies about what you’ll do with the money?” You asked.

“I’m not like Donghyuck,” He scoffed. A moment’s pause, and then he turned back to you, eyes speckled with the stars in the night sky behind you. “And whatever I decide to do when it’s all over… it’ll be simple.”

He leaned in, close enough for you to smell the subtle citrus notes of his cologne and the cheap wine you’d drank earlier. His lips hovered above yours behind a thin veil of smoke. “Run away with you, maybe,” he mused, so quietly you could barely hear him. “It’ll be like old times…”

“Just the two of us,” you finished for him as his lips brushed against yours. It was slow, soft, unlike the way he sometimes kissed you breathless when the others weren’t watching.

“Donghyuck will kill us if he finds out, you know,” you whispered when he finally pulled away. “When things go wrong and Johnny isn’t there to stop him. He’ll do it.”

“Then make sure he doesn’t find out,” Jeno gave you a sly grin, pecking you on the lips again. “When this is all over, we’ll go. Take only what we need, enough to start new... Find a quiet place to settle down. Whatever you want.”

You let your fingers trail over the jagged scar on his cheek—a permanent reminder of how you’d been thrown into this life. How Johnny had found the two of you in a dark alley some three years ago: two kids bleeding out on the pavement, almost unconscious, washed up and probably not even worth saving. Jeno was never the same after that night. And for whatever reason, you’d always been too scared to talk about it. Too scared to do anything else but watch his smiles fade, his encouraging words cease, the clear crystal encasing him cloud up with cigarette smoke.

“You trust me, right?” He asked after a few moments, when the words had died in the back of your throat and you were silent.

“Stupid question, Jeno,” you gave him a look, stifling a burst of laughter when you saw the wounded expression he wore.

“Not exactly the answer I was looking for.”

So you grabbed him, pulling him in for a more heated kiss to prove your point. He let out a muffled sound of surprise, arms instinctively coming around your waist to pull you a bit closer, fingers running through your hair. “Of course I do,” you murmured against him, but you couldn’t quite hear yourself over the pounding of your heart and the rush of blood in your ears. “You know I do. I always will.”

“Then trust me on this one too.”

When you nodded, his face lit up in a way that you hadn’t seen in some time. His eyes crinkled slightly, his lips pulling back in a small smile that seemed just a bit more genuine, a bit more… like him. Like the boy you had run away with all those years ago and like the boy you would run away with again in a week’s time, if you made it out of the heist alive. And with him by your side, you were determined to do so.

As you waited for the sun to come up and the rest of the house to stir from sleep, the two of you existed in a break in time. A void in space, one the rest of the world was completely oblivious to. It was just you and him.

99 notes · View notes

mlmdarkfiction · 4 years

Note

Gun anon here. First of all, I can't believe you'd call me out like that, how dare you, and second of all, can I request a drabble/fic or smth with Michael Myers and a gun? I know they're not really his M.O. but I love him and I crave it (also: do I need to get specific or anything or can I just say go wild with whatever idea you come up with?)

SOMEHOW THIS ENDED UP THE SAME LENGTH AS LIKE ?? A LOT OF THE COMMISSIONS I DO WHY DID I GO SO HARD AT THIS ONE MICHAEL MYERS FIC. I’m not mad im just...confused @ myself.

anyway I hope you enjoy

Possible CW’s: NSFW, DMAB Reader, Home Invasion, Guns, Gun Kink, Death (not the readers or Michael’s)

Read on AO3:

Read Below:

It’s a rhythmic banging sound that first got your attention, leading you to the kitchen. It’s the back door.

Someone, or something must have left it hanging open, allowing for the slight breeze from outside to send it gently crashing into your cabinets.

You know for a fact you aren’t responsible for the open door.

Try as you might, you can’t even remember the last time you’d even used the back door, but…

You’re not worried.

Perhaps you’re the only person in all of Haddonfield, who could be unbothered at the prospect of an intruder in your home.

And you’re definitely the only person in Haddonfield hoping the intruder is Michael Myers.

Weird Roommate?

Friend?

Lover?

In reality, you have no idea how you should describe your relationship with The Shape.

Michael is truly an enigma, as most would guess.

Everything he does is unpredictable.

He comes and goes as he pleases, almost never locking or closing doors behind himself, you’re used to it at this point.

And at the end of the day, you know that whether you want him to or not, Michael will always come back.

At least, up until now he’s always found his way back into your home.

You hope that the door being left wide open is a sign that Michael’s finally returned home.

The door is shut, and you’re smiling. Honestly this is a big step for Michael, as it appears he’s not left you a trail of blood to clean up.

Perhaps he was finally learning manners?

Or maybe after so long of being away he simply hadn’t wanted you to yell at him for leaving yet another mess.

There’s no rush in trying to find Michael.

As every other time he’s come to visit, you know he’ll find you when the time is right.

It may not be intentional, although you really think it is, Michael always ends up scaring you.

He thinks it’s funny. Even though you can’t see his face, you know he does. He loves seeing the way you jump at his sudden appearances throughout your shared home.

Nothing about your night changes. You carry on the exact same way you would have if you hadn’t discovered the open door.

After making a bowl of popcorn you settle down on your couch to watch the Countdown to Halloween horror movie marathon on your TV.

About twenty-minutes into some B-Slasher film when you hear it. A crash from upstairs.

Suddenly you feel a lot more on edge.

Michael’s not…

Michael isn’t the type to make much noise at all.

You try to reason with yourself, to tell yourself that it’s just Michael, that he must have dropped something…

But you’re unable to convince yourself.

Stupid Horror Movie.

“Michael?” It’s a soft call at first, and yet...It’s loud enough that the noises you’d been hearing from upstairs come to a complete stop.

The sudden silence does nothing for your already frazzled nerves.

All you hear now is the soft sound of your feet against the carpet as you make your way to the bottom of the stairs.

Looking up you see absolutely nothing. No sudden Michael to assuage your fears.

“This isn’t funny, Michael!”

Even using your angry voice gets you nothing in response, and it causes you to quickly come to terms with the fact that if you want to go back to relaxing, then you’re going to have to investigate the cause of the noise yourself.

The irony of this whole situation isn’t lost on you however, a chill runs down your spine as the poor soon-to-be-dead woman on TV calls out ‘Hello?’ into her own, stranger infested, home.

Everything about this seems like it’s a parody, the stairs even creak underneath you as you make your way up.

Suddenly you’re all too aware of the source of the crash.

Not Michael.

Definitely not Michael.

“You’ve made this easy on me,” Your blood goes completely cold as this stranger turns to you, gun pointed directly at you. Anything you could do or say is completely null. The situation, your body...It all feels frozen.

“Show me where you keep the real valuables.”

Slowly your body begins to unfreeze, and you force yourself to nod in response to the armed intruder.

There’s nothing but the pounding of your heart in your ears as you continue to your bedroom.

As soon as you make your way to the doorway the man grabs you roughly from behind, you can’t help the small scream that leaves your panicked lips at the sudden touch. “Where?”

“Under the bed.”

“Go.” He’s shoving the gun into your lower back, inspiring you to follow his commands, as, even through your shirt, you can feel the guns barrel.

You nod, risking a glance back at your captor.

Your breath hitches but...you relax.

Michael.

For real this time, it’s Michael, standing completely unnoticed domineeringly behind the armed man.

Even with his mask on as always, you can feel the intensity radiating off of him. The malevolent energy is so strong, you’re surprised the Intruder seems to be completely unaware it’s no longer the two of you.

“I said get the good shit!”

Finally you’re snapped out of your shock and relief, and you nod your head again. Crouching down you put on the facade of retrieving your safe from below the bed.

Michael doesn’t make you wait.

“What the-”

From your position you can’t tell what exactly Michael did, but the crashing of the gun on the ground is a relief, at least until you realize if it had fallen just right it could have easily gone off.

Still you quickly grab the gun with your shaking hands before rising to meet the scene before you.

This is the first time you’ve actually seen Michael in action.

Of course you know who Michael is, and what he does, but seeing it live….

Seeing it live is totally different.

Michael is holding the man in the air by his neck. You’re entranced watching the man's feet dangle uselessly, before pressing into Michael’s chest.

It doesn’t seem to matter how much he struggles or kicks, Michael doesn’t seem fazed at all.

Though you hate to admit it, there's something undeniably hot about Michael holding a struggling man in the air as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. The sight goes straight to your cock.

You’re so aroused-

You’re so entranced by Michael that you have to force your gaze away when it’s clear the struggling man is close to the end of his life.

His face is red, fingers desperately clawing at Michael’s hands as if it would somehow be enough to free him from the crushing grip.

You shut your eyes tightly.

In this moment you’re dangerously aware of everything going on in the room with you; the pounding of your frantic heart isn’t loud enough to block out the last struggles, and gasps of the man, nor do you miss the way it all suddenly stops.

This silence is immediately followed by a thump, the thump of Michael dropping the now dead man onto your bedroom floor.

Michael is…

You don’t know what he’s doing.

You tell yourself you’re not afraid of him, and yet...you find yourself unable to open your eyes.

The gun has grown warm in your now very nervous, sweaty hands.

With blood rushing in your ears you become hyper aware of your partly adrenaline, but mostly Michael caused boner, and the way that it’s straining painfully against the fabric of your pants.

A large hand, one that’s much larger than your own, develops your hand, the one holding the gun.

Slowly you open your eyes to find yourself face to face, or more accurately, face to chest, with Michael.

You watch Michael as he takes the gun from your grasp.

With his mask still on it’s nearly impossible to tell where Michael is looking, but it really seems like he’s staring at both the gun now in his hands, and at you as you watch him.

“Michael?” His name leaves your lips tentatively. You’re surprised by yourself, surprised by the fact there’s no waiver or tremble of fear noticeable in your voice.

His head tilts in a familiar response at your gentle call of his name, and now you’re sure you’ve gotten the man's full attention.

Briefly your eyes drop from Michael’s masked face to the dead body at your feet, before returning to the other man's covered face.

“Thank you…” After all, if Michael hadn’t intervened, it most likely would have been you dead on the floor.

There’s a hesitation, and then silence envelops you both once again.

Surprisingly, it’s Michael who ends the tension. A simple step forward is all it takes, before he’s pulling you close against his chest into a crushing embrace.

It’s odd.

You welcome the unusual affection, but it’s still odd.

Michael isn’t usually so...soft.

‘Maybe,’ you think, ‘He’d actually been worried.’

The hug is nice, but tight. You’re sure that’s because he’s unused to initiating such subtle affections.

You notice two things while in the hug though;

Michael is also hard, his cock straining the jumpsuit to press against your own while you embrace, and that Michael still has the gun.

It’s not pointed at you, of course, but you can feel it in his hand as he holds you.

Michael doesn’t break the hug.

As soon as you’d felt his erection you knew he likely wouldn’t.

The two of you, you’d done things like this before.

He is, to put it lightly, inexperienced, but he’s always been curious and eager.

Body kept flush against his own, you’re unable to do anything as he grinds his hips into your own as he desperately searches for friction.

A soft moan leaves your lips, and you have to keep from shuddering when you hear Michael give a deep inhale from within his latex mask.

The Shape doesn’t moan. In your experience, he never has, but you’ve learned how to tell Michael is enjoying himself.

You’ve learned to listen out for every deep breath, shuddering exhale, and low growl.

“Here,”

You take a step back, not missing the almost needy way that Michael tries to grip your shoulders in an attempt to keep you close.

“Let me help.”

Only you.

You’re the only person who could strip Michael Myers, and live to tell the tale.

His jumpsuit is easily removed, and no surprise to you, he’s completely bare underneath.

You leave the mask.

In all the time you’ve seen Michael, he’s only been maskless a handful of times, and every time it had been his own choice to remove it.

It’s a boundary.

A symbol of trust.

And no matter your relationship with the other man, you’re not about to overstep it.

Michael’s now completely naked aside from the mask, and his cock is standing at full attention.

It’s a full 7 ½ inches.

You watch as it bobs gently in anticipation as Michael gently adjusts his weight as he becomes used to the cool night air of your bedroom.

Like usual, this level of intimacy with Michael is prefaced by curiosity and need for relief.

It’s Michael’s pleasure that matters. It’s always been like that.

Despite the likeness of your bodies, you’re not sure Michael could pleasure you back, if he even knew how.

He pulls you in again, and you’re quick to fall into routine, dropping to your knees in front of the larger man.

There’s no waiting, no moment to catch your breath, Michael is straight to the point.

His scent quickly fills your senses as he lays his cock against your face.

He humps against it, rubbing the sweaty organ against your cheeks and nose, at one point you stop him as he’s getting dangerously close to thrusting into your eye.

You’re allowed a single deep breath before you take the head of his large cock into your mouth.

Not only is his musk overwhelming, but so is his taste.

Salt.

Sweat.

Skin.

Without thinking you moan wantonly around him, tongue wrapping around the head, licking his slit and the precum that had already started gathering there.

It’s only Michael who could get you to act in such a way.

To get you to act like an eager cock sucking whore, even knowing you’ll get nothing in return.

You’ve trained yourself to take his monster cock.

Or…

You’ve at least trained yourself to take most of it.

A gag still manages to leave your throat when your partner decides he’s had enough and wants more .

All it took was a single hard thrust for him to sheathe is aching member in your willing throat.

One day you think he may accidentally kill you with his cock.

Perhaps he’ll thrust too hard and accidentally puncture your esophagus.

Maybe he’ll just hold you far too tightly, far too close, as your mouth is filled, nose in the curls of his pubes unable to breath as he finishes.

The thought of dying by his cock...it makes your own twitch from it’s confines.

You’re so focused on your goal of taking the full 7 ½ inches in your mouth, that you don’t notice Michael shifting above you.

No, you’re left with no warning of what’s to come.

Metal presses softly to your cheeks, and instantly you freeze.

You begin taking short, panicked breaths of air through your nose, cock still clogging your airway, as you look up to Michael.

He’s just staring, no expression visible through the damned mask, and no real reaction to your stopping or to your very clear fear.

Instead of stopping, or showing any sort of intent, Michael just begins to gently trail the gun lower.

The steel traces down your jaw, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, and eventually rests right under your chin.

You relax, if only slightly, knowing Michael won’t shoot with his dick in your mouth.

He’s been shot enough times now to know it hurts, and would likely know better than to shoot his own dick off.

However, this relief is short lived.

Once again Michael begins to move the gun away from your chin, down, and further down again, until at last it’s being pressed against the obvious tent in your pants.

There’s no way to keep in a moan at the feeling of something, anything, even a gun, touching your poor aching dick.

Any thoughts you had about what exactly Michael’s planning to do quickly leave your head as Michael gives a quick and sudden thrust.

It has you choking again.

Tears, snot, and drool leave you at the sudden extra strain.

You work faster on Michael’s cock, bobbing your head just right, moaning for the extra stimulation, all while the other man continues to prod your own member with a fucking gun.

You try to avoid thinking about the fear, and the arousal , this new addition to your routine is causing.

No, instead of thinking about that, and what it means about you as a person, you decide instead to focus on Michael.

All you’re thinking about is him, his cock, and how to make him cum.

It isn’t long until your efforts are rewarded, after all, despite his above average endowment, he’s never lasted very long.

Still,he seems to lose his load much faster than he usually does.

In an almost mockery of your earlier fantasy, your nose is forced into Michael’s unkempt pelvis, as your mouth, throat, and stomach are filled with his bitter cum.

The longer you go without air, hardly able to breathe even through your nose like this, the more you fear every part of your earlier fantasy is going to be fulfilled.

But…

Michael has mercy.

Once he’s finally beginning to soften up, he pulls himself entirely from your mouth.

For the moment you’ve forgotten the gun, now much more focused on your aching jaw, and swollen red lips.

Michael reminds you quickly though.

In your kneeling position, Michael has no trouble pushing you onto your back, especially now that you’re exhausted, unable to fight him.

All you can do against him is look up with confusion.

“Michael, what-”

You weren’t really expecting a response.

Of course the response you get isn’t verbal, no, Michael responds to your inquiries in a physical manner.

All you can do is moan in mixed pain and pleasure as he once again presses the gun against your erection, however this time...he’s much rougher than he’d been before.

It feels almost as if he’s trying to crush your cock.

Still it seems that for the first time your relationship with The Shape had become sexual, that he decided you were finally allowed to cum too.

He keeps you like that-

Splayed out on the floor in front of him, legs spread, all while you moan and write for him as he roughly outlines your cock with the tip of the gun.

He doesn’t stop.

Not until you cum.

And when it finally happens, when you finally cum, you’re filled with a mix of relief and humiliation.

Relief that Michael had finally moved the gun away, not just from your genitals, but from you entirely.

Humiliation at the fact you’d cum without a real human touch.

Humiliation at just how hard you’d cum due to going without for so long...and the mess you’d eventually have to clean out of your underwear.

Although you can’t see his face, you can feel the smug aura radiating off of Michael.

He’s clearly proud of what he’s done today, and you have a feeling he’s not going to let you forget this exact encounter any time soon.

309 notes · View notes

seijorhi · 3 years

Text

asks :)

Below the cut 💕

OMFG I JUST READ UR SPLIT FIC AND AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD. Ur such a good writer I’m jealous

BBY!!! I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!! but fr no need to be jealous it’s just some horny ramblings 👉👈

I just wanted to say that I LOVE your haikyuu fics! Especially the Oikawa/Iwa soulmate au one! Just a quick question tho, would their darling be able to turn the duo against eachother? Like maybe she/he/they prefers Iwa more than Oikawa and that could lead to some competition?

ok i’ve talked about this a little bit before in another ask but my tags are a mess and i can’t find it but tbh i think it would be almost impossible for their darling to actually turn them against each other - even in a tiny way just because their own relationship with each other is rock solid. Iwa knows how to deal with Oikawa at his worst and vice versa. if you do end up showing preference to one over the other - say you cling to Iwa because he doesn’t go as hard on his punishments or Oikawa because a pissed off Iwa scares you they’re gonna notice, and there is nothing like a little exposure therapy to cure your fears.

Inquiring minds need to know: does the slasher trio fuck you in front of their victims? When they’re alive? When they’re dead? Both???

Bruh.... I think you know the answer to that ;)

I just read Final Girl and I just wanna say that it scared the shit out of me??? I rarely watch horror let alone slasher movies and most of the time I imagine what would happen if they keep one of their victims and your fic just damn. It was scary good

you have no idea how happy that makes me?? because like when i write fics i’m trying to convey emotions and build tension and stuff but until somebody else reads it you never know if it’s actually worked?? so this makes me all 🥺

Yo I just read your Shiggy fic the chikan and boy oh boy I am a huge fan of it. He’s so gross but it does something to me and I don’t know why but I’m here for it. Also I love your writing I may or may not have just binged your blog but it was so good and I just could not help myself 😅, anyway I hope you have a good day!

SHIGGY SUPREMACY!! no but i took so long with that fic and now i just wanna write a bunch more creeper shigaraki i love him sm! anyway thank you fo being such a sweetheart - i hope your day’s going well too!!

Idk if it's thirsting hours, but I'm a horny bastard, so I'm just gonna express myself. Every time, I watch Ushijima show emotion and get excited about volleyball, I think about Outrunning Fate and daydream about the kind of face he would make while he rails a resistant, crying reader. And I feel like Tendou would just watch his facial expressions for a while because this is a side of Ushi he's never seen, and he just wants to admire him. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. @ks350

so it’s not exactly a secret that Ushi’s a little... stoic, but with things he genuinely cares about - volleyball, and you guessed it, his adorable little resistant soulmate - that’s when he lets himself soften a touch, smiling easier, seemingly without even realising it. He tends to get a little carried away when he’s fucking her because he’s honestly just so fucking content, this is exactly where he’s supposed to be and nothing else matters, not even your pretty tears and soft whimpers for him to stop. Of course Tendou’s gonna watch!

Okayyyy so I just read Split and, as always, your writing is superbbbb. Osamu acting like he was innocent in the whole situation? Atsumu being the sadistic little shit that he is? 💯 My brain is just full of thoughts of the Miya Brothers that I decided to read their Soulmate AU this early in the morning and I noticed how the party was set in the new captain's house.

And OMG as third years Atsumu's the new captain of Inarizaki and holy fuck there's a huge possibility the reader, their soulmate, just lost her V card in either of the twin's room or bed. Wouldn't that situation be a cluster fuck that drove them both crazy to do those things at the end after denying reader? Goshhhh I love this little subtle details in your fic. You are such a genius writer that endless possibilities are available to be interpreted by us readers. Thank you so much Rhi 💖💖💖 @pamdamonyum

👀 sqirugpq3urnioklnjk you’re a sweetheart

but can you imagine if it was Atsumu’s bed and he was the one to find you and the soccer captain? because like i genuinely debated about having them kick his ass and i think in that circumstance... not even Samu would be able to hold him back!

❤️❤️😍😘💕✌️

I love you too, you funky little anon

Ok omg split was amazing! I have to share smth tho when my bro and I were kids (like pretty young), when one of us did something “bad” we’d be like “no that wasn’t me it wasn’t me it was my evil twin,” and like then we’d forgive the other and shit talk abt our “evil” versions bc it wasn’t the “good” twin’s fault lol. So the “Osamu you promised!” “Osamu isn’t here rn,” had me dying. Like so perfect. What bs. Then the end with Osamu “I couldn’t stop him” miya like oh yeah ofc just your evil twin nothing you could have done 🙄 like it was so perfect, I loved it!

aw that’s actually really cute tho! i honest to god think that Osamu’s worse in this one - at least Atsumu never pretends to be anything other than what he is. Osamu’s just as toxic and warped, but he acts like the hero, like it wasn’t his obsession that started this all

So, I just read the Dear Old Friend Osamu drabble and I couldn't help but grin. The implications I got from it and the initial one-shot were the following;

1. Atsumu is a titties man, considering how much he bit and teased them in DOF.

2. 'Samu I don't have a favourite twin how dare you is an ass man considering how many words of that drabble were dedicated to his thoughts lingering on the titular dear old friend's arse.

And I'm just LIVING for it because they really do complete each other in that regard. But also because 'Samu strikes me as the kind of guy that likes face sitting and spanking his partner while they sandwich his face between their thighs. And Atsumu strikes me as the kind of person that likes just randomly fiddling with his partner's tiddies because tiddy = fun.

Also, hi! I love your writing! Pretty sure this is my first ask, even though it's not, really??? @pavlovs-titties

ahh you’re so sweet, thank you bby!!

and yeah, Atsumu’s definitely a tiddies kinda guy and Osamu prefers ur butt (but also not me writing that little drabble because i wanted to tease the idea Osamu have his turn leaving his mark on the reader by spanking her till she’s nice and sore 😉)

Baby, you were amazing ❤️! I don't know how I still get surprised by your awesomeness, but I do. You're amazing and no one can tell you different 🥺🥰

💖💖💖 sdfghjhgj you’ve got me all blushy and soft, thank you!!!

the jokes on you tho because in actual fact you’re the one who’s amazing?? ily!!

#BD answers

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ask-mankai · 4 years

Note

For the troupe leaders, what are some things you like & admire about the other troupe leaders?

Sakuya: Hmm well, I like how confident Tenma and Banri are, it's really engaging and they have such strong presences onstage! Whenever they speak it's like...BAM! idk if that makes sense but u know,,, As for Tsumugi, I love his subtle way of acting. A lot of us are very physical and verbal with our actions, like we exaggerate our actions or speak loudly/softly, but he's able to pull that off with the most efficient actions. I wish I could be like that one day...

Tenma: Not sure how to describe it, but Sakuya just has some kinda ability to draw others to him, I guess you can call that stage presence, but it's a little different from that. Banri has good reflexes, and he can move easily onstage so I really admire that. Not really related to acting, but I also admire Tsumugi's temperament, it takes a lot to deal with everyone, especially Winter troupe's antics.

Banri: Sakuya's passion for acting is definitely smth I like abt him, whenever he's around, you can't help but be motivated ya know? As for Tenma, he's got experience on us and I can tell he knows what he's doing on stage. Kinda wish I had some...not sure how to word it, but professionalism? Yeah, he's just really polished with his moves. And for Tsumugi, the the subtle nuances in his acting and his passion as well are both hella admirable

Tsumugi: Sakuya gets really into character, and the immersive experience when I watch his plays are always great, I really admire him for that! His love for acting also shines through and you can tell he's having fun. Tenma is very bold with his acting, and while it's the complete opposite of how I act, I find that to also be admirable. And Banri is very good with his voice projection. My voice is naturally softer, so I'd like to be more like him in that aspect ^^;

#sakuya.txt #tenma.txt #banri.txt #tsumugi.txt

17 notes · View notes

roses-foxes · 4 years

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TROS feelings but i try to keep it all in one (long) post

I’ve had some time to think about this film, read lots of different opinions on it, consider the things I hated and liked about it, and I guess I just want to share? Let’s start with the good stuff

What I liked

It’s really not much but some positivity is always nice lol

Adam Driver’s acting! He’s not the only good actor in this, but imo he’s far above the rest. I’m 90% sure he’s getting that Oscar for Marriage Story, but he’s also extremely good in this despite having probably more than half of his lines cut or altered (more on that later) and he deserves that recognition

The fact that Finn, Poe and Rey had stuff to do as a trio, even though it wasn’t well done (more on that later)

The Han moment with Ben

Rey being cheered on by all the past Jedi (more on that later too)

The concept of Rey burying the lightsabers and the last shot being on Tattooine at sunset

The lighstaber “””magic trick””” through the force with Rey and Ben

The entire dyad thing with Rey and Ben, actually

That’s literally it lmao I truly hate this film

What I think the problems are

Even if I hadn’t read stuff about it before, it’s super painfully obvious as you watch it that they had reshoots/line changes/storyline changes and it makes the film not make any sense at all, it’s such a mess.

A lot of super important lines by Kylo Ren are delivered with his mask on? There are also other instances without his mask where he’s either not in shot as he speaks or he has his arm in front of his mouth etc.. The more I think about it, the more I realise there’s literally no point at all in the story for him to reconstruct his mask. The scene where he does it is like.. 3 seconds long?? Like there’s no real emphasis on it even though it’s super important character-wise? UNLESS... it was done only to make sure lines (and therefore storylines) could be easily changed in the edit. I don’t think there’s actually a shot of anyone in the film saying, with their lips moving in shot, visibly “Rey is a Palpatine”, and that’s weird as hell? Rey herself never even really REACTS to it properly? In a saga that puts so much importance on legacy, she SHOULD have reacted, like Luke reacted when he learned Vader was his dad. Also Oscar Isaac said the actors had no idea that was a thing before the premiere..? Which implies there was no big table read with that part included and only a few people knew of that change? In my opinion it’s clear that this isn’t how the storyline was originally planned, and it probably was a last minute decision that they tried to make work with minor reshoots and some editing (the lightning when Rey blows up the ship Chewie is believed to be in could have been added in post-prod, for example).

That’s not the only change, a lot of people have pointed out that Rey speaks to Ben in the end (before the kiss), like, you can clearly see that her lips are moving and that he’s listening to her, but that conversation was cut for some reason? In many shots of that scene, Adam’s hair are longer then shorter, his hands are gloved then ungloved, Rey’s reaction to his death is super weird, he’s never mentioned again at all, he doesn’t get a force ghost even though Anakin did at the end of RoTJ, the shot where he falls back and dies makes more sense in reverse when you look at the angle of Rey’s arm etc.. it’s very possible in my mind that Ben Solo dying wasn’t originally planned either and they just reshot the kiss or something, but yeah that whole thing felt particularly sloppy to me. Props to Daisy and Adam for still making it kinda work though.

The editor of the film has said herself in a podcast that they used the “speaks with the mask on”, “not in shot” etc kind of tricks to allow them to change things up. Like idk what the hell happened to the original movie outline but I’m 10000% sure that it wasn’t what we ended up seeing at all.

What would have been my ideal TROS (or what would have at least slightly improved it)

Involve Rose Tico??? Instead of setting her aside for no reason at all, have her go on the mission with the trio, like it really isn’t that hard? Adding one (1) tiny little scene showing what her relationship with Rey is like would also have been great. Either continue the romance with Finn and develop it more, or establish that they decided to remain friends, but don’t cast it aside and pretend it never happened? What they did to her is fucking gross honestly. My heart breaks in a million pieces for KMT

Develop!! Rey!!! and Poe!! It’s clear that they were going with OT trio vibes with Rey/Finn/Poe, except that Finn’s relationship with Poe and Rey are developed separately, but Rey and Poe aren’t with each other. So it doesn’t really seem like a trio and more like 2 duos that have Finn in common, you know? In the OT, Han/Luke Han/Leia & Luke/Leia were all developed, and that’s why the trio worked as a whole by the end of the saga. Instead what TROS did was make Rey and Poe bicker 80% of the time for no real reason? Then hug? So.. are they friends or not bc it’s a bit hard to tell?

Cut that whole wayfinder plot to make it wayyy shorter. It was so stupid to watch (the knife needing to be placed exactly right at the exact right place, are you kidding me JJ Abrams? Is this Benjamin Gates or smth?), it didn’t do anything at all for the characters journey, it introduced people (Zorii and Jannah) that, as cool as they were, ended up not doing much at all...? Those were weird ass choices that ended up taking away screen time that could have actually been useful for the characters we already had. If you wanted a cool female character, JJ, Rian Johnson already had one. But where was she all that time? Oh, yeah. Off screen.

NO REY PALPATINE. Makes no sense at all, is awful, has super weird implications that are never really explained, it’s full of plot holes... just big huge no. Rey being Rey Nobody was extremely powerful. It meant creating your OWN legacy, your OWN history, it connected her with the audience more. Rian Johnson actually surprised me with this, and I would have loved for it to stay that way. This is actually what crushed me the most about the entire film, I refuse this as canon completely.

Ideally,... no Palpatine at all? Him coming back kinda ruins Vader’s arc for me. Ofc one big bad was needed after Snoke’s death and Kylo Ren getting an obvious redemption (yes, it was obvious, I’m not even gonna go through explaining it, just rewatch the 2 previous films). But Hux was RIGHT THERE. We knew he was a big BIG mean guy since his dictator speech in TFA, he had more to do with Starkiller Base than Kylo Ren ever had (yep, thats canon hoes), he always hated Kylo Ren, he almost killed him in Snoke’s throne room, I mean??? Plus Domhnall Gleeson is an excellent actor, why waste him like this when you can give him a great character arc where he does a coup and takes over the First Order?? Nonesense

Have Kylo/Ben’s redemption earlier in the movie and show him actively save lives before joining Rey’s side. I don’t necessarily hate how it played out in the film but I was pissed off that for a movie called The Rise of Skywalker, the actual Skywalker still alive barely speaks or does much once he comes back from the dark side. If you go for a redemption, GO for it, make him break Vader’s mask intentionally, make him feel Hux’s betrayal, make him be heroic. And ideally, once he saved lots of lives, imply that he intends on rebuilding the things he broke.. and make him live. Because having a last minute good action then “poof, he’s dead!” isn’t reverse Anakin/Vader, it’s a direct parallel to it. Which is a lot less interesting to watch as an audience. Why make a new trilogy if the ending is so similar to the original one? Why make it all about balance if Rey ends up forever brokenhearted bc her dyad in the force died?

Still regarding Kylo/Ben: A FORCE GHOST MOMENT WITH ANAKIN WAS SO ESSENTIAL FFS? Even one with Luke? Or literally any other Jedi, like I’m so mad about that. He was the LAST Skywalker. Rey was cheered on by all the jedi and that was cool as hell, but when he was lying in that pit he should have been cheered on too? It would have been such an awesome scene to have that parallel between them (also them killing Palpatine TOGETHER would have been better, but whatever nothing about Palp made sense)

Heavier hand on the Rey/Ben romance. I’m one of the people who saw it coming since TLJ, so I personally wasn’t surprised at all, but a lot of casual fans were and that isn’t normal. There were so many opportunities for scenes reallyyy preparing the ground for a big epic space kiss that would have felt more satisfying, instead all we got in terms of clear romance pre-kiss was “I did wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand”. That wasn’t enough. TLJ went hard, but stayed subtle. TROS needed to go harder, and not be subtle at all.

NO RACIST DRUG SMUGGLING BACKSTORY FOR POE!! And instead maybe an arc about taking over Leia’s legacy in the resistance, about him fighting since he was a kid, about his parents being Rebellion fighters... if there was a story to be told about legacy... that was IT. Bc that’s Star Wars. You have characters trying to distance themselves from their legacies (Kylo Ren), trying to build their own legacies (Finn, Rey), and characters honouring it (Poe, Rose). It’s so stupid that they didn’t actually go anywhere with that.

Give Finn something to do??? My boy was treated so fucking dirty I can’t believe. He’s an ex stormtrooper, why didn’t he, at ANY point in this trilogy, ever think twice about killing stormtroopers? If he KNOWS they’re brainwashed child soldiers.... why not have him do something with that? Create an arc around that? He’s really just gonna kill them left and right like it’s nothing to him? We’re gonna introduce Jannah, basically a female version of him (bc apparently that’s all woc get to have --’) who’s also an ex stormtrooper, and still not build an actual storyline around that? In a trilogy about BALANCE, ffs, which implies there can be good in the bad and bad in the good?? Like I’m losing my mind here lol that’s so so so dumb. Also for the entire film he’s got *something* to tell Rey, but there are some issues there: if it was a romantic confession, it doesn’t quite work bc TLJ already gave him another romantic interest (Rey too even if ppl like to deny it, Kylo was her love interest in TLJ) + made him care about the fight besides her. So making him be all “heart-eyes puppy following her around”, especially if you plan on having her kiss someone else at the end, seems particularly cruel. But if it was about him being force sensitive, it still doesn’t really work bc 1) it’s barely implied in the film and doesn’t actually go anywhere. It was a great idea! So why not fully lean into it? What was the point? I don’t get it. 2) They don’t even resolve it. Like, he tries to tell her that *something* like 3 times, and in the end it’s just never brought up, we leave the theatre not knowing what it was. I mean?????

Have Leia’s death be more meaningful and CLEAR as to why she dies. I’ve seen like 10 different interpretations of her death. None of them make absolute perfect sense, that’s how poorly executed it was. I know they didn’t have much to work with, but I hate her dying like that, its like they tried to kill her off but had no idea how so there were like “she lays down and dies”. She’s Princess Leia ffs. Giver her some damn respect.

I think I said pretty much everything I had in mind here. If you want to chat about it, my ask box is open!

I still love star wars, but i’m gonna need to refuse to see this movie as canon in my head, for my own sanity ^^

#star wars #tros

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jinmukangwrites · 5 years

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Title: "Finite 2"

Description: Both the second attempt at this story and the attempted sequel to a one shot called "Finite" that got quite popular in Fanfiction.net. Finite was written just after watching Infinity War, it's about Tony and the gang defeating Thanos and bringing everyone back. This "sequel" is about Thor bringing back Loki. I stopped because I lost interest.

How I would continue: lots of Norse mythology stuff, Loki would have been revived by a golden apple or smth and then they'll fly off into the universe together. Idk.

-o-o-o-o-

Thor had seen enough. Since the beginning of this whole battle he had seen people dear to him die. He had seen the grievances of his friends. He couldn't take it. He had always known he was somewhat the comedic relief of the group, but this time telling a joke or running into a glass wall wouldn't help anyone.

He was a god for crying out loud! His people had created the realms and they rule over all of them. The Aesir we're strong, hard headed people that would never give up without a fight. Thor decided the moment Thanos snapped his fingers that he would not just stand there and let half the universe die in vein.

That was why, after the dust settled in Wakanda, no one could find Thor. Most suspected he too was marked for death, but he was really out there, traveling, not waisting a second because he didn't have time to mourn. He didn't when he woke up on the Rabbit's ship, he didn't now.

He was determined to go out and stop Thanos. And this time, he will aim for the head.

But he needed help. As he traveled through the branches of Yggdrasil, his new weapon weilded out in front of him, he could only think of the many warriors he has fought and won with.

Jane was the first woman he had ever loved. She was the one who introduced him to Midgard, the one who showed him how beautiful it really was. Selvig gave him a chance to have a true, close friend. Darcy Lewis was a very funny girl who helped out the best she could. There were the warriors three, the roughest band of gods (and goddess) he had ever had the pleasure to know.

And however reluctant he was, there was also Loki.

His brother. The man Thor had never thought less of just because of his heritage. If the worlds were different, Loki would have made a fine king. He would have been made the most fair ruler.

Thor didn't think he could do it without him. He had felt himself feel completely out of whack ever since Thanos had attacked the Aesir's ship. Something had been missing, pulling him back, making him second guess himself. Thor never second guessed himself!

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he needed his brother. He needed the eyeroll and the glaring and pranks he pulled while disguised as an animal. He needed the subtle support, the proud eyes, the rare sadness that shown on his face whenever either of them mentioned their childhood.

So Thor wasn't going to do this alone. Loki may not be from Asgard but he was sure as the moon and the stars that Look was a true Aesir.

True Aesir's don't die like Loki had. Thor was going to bring him back if it was the last thing he did. And he believed he had just the way.

-o-o-o-o-

There was a rule to the universe. Everything had an opposite. For example, light and dark. Or evil and good. Or beginning and end. Everything had an opposite. Colors, words, animals, the list went on.

So it wasn't really a hidden secret that Asgard had an opposite as well. Or, well, in this case it was the Aesir that had their opposites.

The Vanir

#jin answers #ask #anon ask #mystery anon

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rabbitindisguise · 5 years

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oooo my phone died, killing the possibility of me doing my Daily Assigned Task (I only have one because aside from staying afloat with food and stuff that’s all my brain can cognitively handle. Yes, I also do this doing the school year. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely bonkers) right this moment so while I have my boredom captive in this textpost, let’s ruminate over the nature of humanity some more ignore me I’m talking to myself

it is also very extremely weird and by “very” I mean “not at all” and “extremely” I mean “minimally, if anything, actually not super weird in any of the senses of the word” and weird still just means weird because otherwise the previous things I just said would no longer be accurate BUT

let’s just say it’s totally expected

that people find These Weird Things That I Do generally, absolutely fascinating in fiction. Like, my original works for example are steeped in weirdness. Rolling with abnormalities. Boiling with oddity. And so on. And I don’t pull this out of my ass! Oh no. This is all like . . . gosh, inspired stuff. From things I saw and liked and felt reflected my very soul in fiction.

But they’re totally hated in meatspace

I wonder

Anyway, it’s also really strange to see posts about this Weird Things That People Do on tumblr and to read people complimenting them and to feel a warm glow of pleasant optimism about the state of humanity, and hear the very same audience of tumblr people absolutely go nuts over the strangest bullshit I have ever seen or heard or conceived of in my entire life. Like I get weirdly tense and fraught subjects. I get really tense and pissy if someone headcanons a character as binary trans when I headcanon them as non-binary when I’m a nb trans it literally doesn’t matter aside from my emotional attachment to the concept. I’m not proud of it! But I get it, is my point. I understand. It makes sense to me.

But what just doesn’t quite click, doesn’t snap into the convoluted logic of my brain meats, is HOW exactly SO MANY people have the same weird gripes of this obscure stuff that should be totally okay if people are accepting the activist principles of ableism as nonsense and weirdness not being bad. Many others who are probably smart have said it is simply, nay, merely hypocrisy and I’ve met a human or two in my time alive, I can see the potential for that sort of thing to happen. However, considering that Herd Mentality is what it is, I don’t think it’s possible that the plague is actually “being widely inconsistent in the execution of your beliefs to fit in to society” when that’s so stigmatized but actually that being angry about the same things is good for some reason.

This is important! It’s important because Reasons. Because if you say “hypocrite!” when there’s a fire, I don’t think anyone will understand or listen to the concern. If the answer is anything but hypocrisy, talking about it generally pisses people off and makes them yell at you- a near identical response of an actual hypocrite, confusing everyone further. So I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about hypocrisy, of course not, there is nothing I enjoy more than finding logical inconsistencies because it means the world can be improved etc etc that’s not the problem. The problem is most definitely that if the problem isn’t even hypocrisy than the solution isn’t the solution to hypocrisy.

If my theory is right, or semi-right, or at least not wrong, then approaching a bunch of people yelling about a thing to encourage others to yell in tandem is not going to be won by yelling something opposing to that, especially if it makes them angrier and also makes them feel wronged. Instead, calmly being like “nah, dude, I don’t feel the same way, but it’s chill” is way better. Not only because it makes them look ridiculous for having an out of proportion reaction to someone being weird in public (the horror, whatever shall we do about ~being weird~ and doing it ~in public~) but there’s no defensive position to get on. There is no “debate tactics” to use. There’s absolutely not a disagreement about ableism or politics or intersectionality. Rather, it uplifts a contrary option that is confident and secure and this is exactly the same rhetorical device that Centrists or whatever they’re called, use all the damn time. People have talked At Length about jeez, idk, it being exhausting to constantly talk to a person that’s not as invested and doesn’t see it as the Serious Issue It Is- but from the perspective of when they’re actually talking about serious issues, rather than complaining that someone referenced a tumblr meme in public or plays mc and oh, no, how cringey

This is of course blatant emotional manipulation but as the fairness complaint generally goes, they did it first. Multiple people weighing in on a topic with angry voices telling someone not to do something doesn’t work because they have secret actual good reasons and that shines through, it’s because there’s a number of angry people and they’re trying to subdue someone’s Weird with force. Emotional force, but there’s nothing about consent involved in this exchange. No personal boundaries. Shame is a mode of control. Power, even. Which is why I hate those second hand embarrassment fics and avoid them like the plague because it’s icky to me and makes me feel gross and I guess one of my personal triggers is someone feeling bad for doing something Shameful in public

Which brings me to Weird Humanity Musings part II (III? I can’t do math) that have taken a weird non-activist and highly personal turn for the worst:

I don’t think people notice how often emotional manipulation plays a part in subtle power plays that go on in human interactions every day. Humanity made dominance ffs. Humans are the ones that get upset and feel challenged with eye contact- not dogs. Dogs use sustained eye contact all the time for a bunch of reasons. Humans too. But it’s humans that recontextualized that behavior as exclusively dominance, a wholly human concept, and, whatever I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I don’t actually particularly care about it. But the point is actually just that humans went out of their way to create this thing, and it plays a part in social interactions. Mothers and daughters and siblings and friends all have scripts of code that basically go for the emotional center of the other person to get them to obey. Most people can’t recognize it because society has that whole “if everyone does it THIS must be the baseline of normal” be as well All Know, normal doesn’t even exist so that reaction is bullshit before it’s even analyzed in any meaningful sense.

Example time because I highly doubt I can just say that off the cuff and actually get people to follow that train of thought to completion (unfortunately, I’d rather not have to write this post at all because it means one less problem in the world and that’s a good thing).

Anytime someone says “I’m your mother!” it’s to reinforce the authority of the child that this person probably have financial, social, physical (such a medical) and emotional control over for almost two decades of their life, or however much it actually was. This is often used to make the child of the mother Do Something, like maybe they’re questioning her judgement or smth I don’t know I get this one a lot and it’s lost all meaning to me by now

Whenever someone says “thank you” it generally plays into the social script where they do the whole dance of “I got this service from you, I say thanks, you say you’re welcome.” This works as a subtle manipulation (not necessarily negative! these examples aren’t Get Mad and Force Conformity examples, just How It Works examples) when someone doesn’t feel like they’ve done something for someone else, so saying “thanks” shows appreciation for the effort and can force an acknowledgement of that effort by expecting a “your welcome” or “no problem” from the other person. This gets shitty and creepy when someone doesn’t take silence aka “I’m not doing the dance because I don’t agree” to a degree where they’re like “oh? are you not going to say you’re welcome?” aka are you gonna be a conceited shithead that thinks they’re better than saying “you’re welcome” the most common social nicety that supposedly always costs nothing? Which does nothing to make the person to feel better and everything to leverage the situation and make them preform social interaction for the other person’s amusement.

“Good morning” is another example. It doesn’t actually matter if the morning is good or not, but it establishes rapport and focuses on the positives- one of those things called “small talk.” (Never heard of her.) This is something someone can actually observe better at the cultural level- someone says “good morning” in english, in another language they say something else. Both show ideological underlying beliefs of the culture Because That’s How Culture And Language Work because it’s a sneaky not-liar that can’t hide its true feelings about things.

I’m not actually all that good with the line between “what is acceptable emotional manipulation in a social context when the fundamentals of the english language rely on subtle power exchange to function [and holy shit would some people hate knowing That] and the unacceptable abusive emotional manipulation” and I generally err on the side of stuff that people seem to be explicitly asking for and prompting but I don’t always succeed and I don’t know that I’m doing the best method but that’s the most chaotic good thing I could come up with

But it still remains that calling things emotional manipulation is both true and a misnomer because in some ways, they’re necessary to exist in society without being considered a jackass (as a self proclaimed “I was called a jackass using many different words that all basically mean jackass” that mostly doesn’t participate in these social nicety dances because I don’t like my brain yelling at me that I’m doing the same bullshit I hated as a Youth and I don’t like disappointing myself) and in others, they’re totally unneeded and artlessly cruel. I mean, heck, going through this internal debate every time someone says “good morning?” Who does that? (I do. This is why people think I’m a dumbass lmao. Jokes on them unfortunately,)

Regardless of what people actually DO about it though, these things are the underlying mechanics of how emotional manipulation works. It’s a concoction of societal expectations, situational contexts, personal histories, selective pressures, and a bunch of other things in smaller amounts. Most of the time it’s “normal” social stuff but with a ton of exaggerated features (I almost used my own handle from a different Social Media and that my friends is having a lot of issues and self hatred due to abuse! and also anxieties over becoming abusive ofc but who doesn’t have those these days). Which is why I think it’s so important that it’s expansively defined so much because otherwise people are really thickheaded about emotional abuse specifically. They think it’s impossible to do in some cases and in others, think it’s exclusively the realm of insults and humiliation.

Those exaggerate features are even harder to spot if someone doesn’t even recognize the interpersonal dynamics of language in the first place. It all just becomes nonsensical and no one can tell what came from where or what this particular question is abusive and not this other one. The logic gets poked with holes easier and abuse survivors get dismissed.

Of course, expanding that definition to reshape thinking might just go along the same direction as representation, where even alluding to the truly abusive mechanics of actual, you know, emotional abuse, is seen as abusive. Everything, literally, would become problematic. There could be callout posts about any human interaction in any context with anyone ever. I’m confident in holding myself to a higher standard than the rest of society but I Cannot overstate that being bullshit to the nth degree that I couldn’t even put up with myself telling myself to keep to it as a standard. It just doesn’t work. I’ve tried it. That way lies the nonsense form of madness as in the non-nd kind. That, along with purity culture and censorship and doxxing and death threats and so on: I don’t fully want to release this theory out into the world in practice because I’m afraid society will just use it as fodder to be cruel to people but I’m also equally afraid that not saying anything will just cause people to, I don’t know, keep accidentally causing suffering to others. So I’ll stuff it under a read more and hope that keeps the impact minimal but not non-existent.

But yeah this whole post is a demonstration that just because someone’s behaving weirdly doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad people. Even if they do something that seems downright mean. I read a post that was basically “there’s no such thing as asshole disorder” but there really is, and it’s whatever I have. I get so compelled to Do the right thing by my ethics and morals that I go through above *gestures* and take longer than neurotypicals do to respond to “good morning” and I don’t mean anything by it so I assume that people can tell because I assume the best in others, and others are free to assume the worst in me so they do.

I’m not upset by it but I also wish that there were a better system to screen assholes than assuming that non-compliance with normality is a sign of evil, because that’s the system we seem to have. It might have a high reward in the brain via confirmation biases and whatnot, but that doesn’t seem worth the risk of basically knocking down any and every mental illness symptom that’s unpalatable. Because they’re all unpalatable to someone, somewhere. That’s what makes them symptoms. We don’t have any “glowing green hair” as symptoms because that’s just sick as fuck and I want some. People who have working with their symptoms and turned them into something beneficial have largely challenged societal ideas about what is “good” and “natural” to get there, and that type of work isn’t someone everyone is cut out for.

Many physically disabled people are all medical model, all the way because they’ve been largely neurotypical their whole lives, and I’ve read their grieving posts like people recommend that I read and I just don’t see how I can help them empathize with me as a person that doesn’t give a shit if my clicking pen annoys people if it helps me focus. That’s an Asshole move if any has ever be determined by society, but at the same time, a common fundamental symptom of many disorders, and as such, I don’t feel bad about it and I don’t know that I could, ever, be made to feel guilty for existing. I’ve never seen myself as a drain on society. I’ve never felt like a freeloader. And I’ll never feel bad for being disable or neurodivergent. Does that make me the bad guy? Or the weird cool antihero from fiction? My impulse is to say “yes” to both ‘cause what people like in fiction is not always what they tolerate in real life

It’s kinda weird and paradoxical that I can feel bad about not feeling bad but not feel bad about being disabled at the same time but w/e I’m an abuse survivor we, collectively, excel at stuff and things that most people may not understand so I guess that’s all the explanation I need

#abuse #I'm laughing this is so long #I have this many thoughts in like actual conversations #my hands can't type fast enough and I end up deleting half the things I say because the time has passed #from which it would made sense to say them #anyway the long and short of this is: a complex analysis of why I agree largely with the criticisms I recieve #but not with their reasons #usually people mistake my mental illness as me being a bad person #and me being a bad person as me being a good person #do you see #the existential crisis #when I do things I know are unethical I get praise and approval for being neurotypical #because it's expected as normal behavior #while when I don't do it as the most neurotypical thing ever #which is like caring about other people and vying for their approval like the needy bastard that I am #then I'm weird!!#also I don't think I'm an asshole because that need some measure of conscious effort and thought #abuse doesn't need to be intentional #the only mean things I've ever done are generally in a self defense context #and vastly underwhelm in comparison to the other stuff that incited it #on purpose any way #the less on purpose stuff happens all the time and I hate it and I just want five minutes of #I don't know rewind and replay #so I can stop myself from saying and doing things #instead I have to move through life as a snails pace triple thinking things over and forgetting what I was thinking of and remembering #and starting over #jeez I'm tired just thinking of it #I got all burnt out last semester and I kept saying and doing rookie ass mistakes and getting overstimulated in public #which is probably the nail in the coffin and why I'm going to be filing for ssi #I've come to the decision with a mix of perpetual anxiety and hope that maybe

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maribelsawyer · 5 years

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- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! * ̖́- + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc.

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know.

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u h h h h

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.

#uclas:intro #like if u'd like to plot w her !!#pls give her love i think i love her

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justastraightupmess · 5 years

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💕💘🌞⚡️💧💔❌ :/ i almost just sent em all tbh

💕 IN LOVE

Levi in love is just--- such a puppy love kinda thing. Like when he’s ACTUALLY properly in love with someone, and it’s not just a fleeting crush or fling, he’s just so so in love with them. Everything they do is perfect and amazing they can do no wrong. He’ll jsut love to sit and watch them, because just looking at them going about their day makes him happy. He’ll want to be with them constantly. Just to be close to them. He can get super clingy tbh. He just thinks they’re so wonderful, and he’ll tell them that and how much he loves them a lot. He’s very happy when in love.

Haha. Oh boi. A mess?? He’s not ready for love okay. He’s still got so much of himself to work out. It just throws a spanner into the works and makes things worse. He can’t even really recognize love when he feels it because pretty much all emotions are just bad for him tbh. Maybe later on when he’s more?? Idk in tune with his mentions?? He’ll be better. One way or another he’ll mother the person he loves, he wants to take care of them and look after them, and also to spoil them. Since he’s not really good at expressing himself through words he’ll do it through acts kinda thing.

I honestly am not sure. Andrew has never been in love, far from it. He’s always been too alone and awkward to get close enough to someone. If he was in a relationship and in love, it might make him a little more bold. And I mean-- Andrew bold so that means he’d initiate some hand holding or something so i mEAN.

Super caring, super attentive, very self-sacrificing. Like--- to a very bad extent. If he was ever in a toxic relationship it’d be very bad for him. He’d give up everything, like his whole education and dream of being a doctor if the person he loved really needed in. But--- yeah, generally just wants to be there for the person, and to help the in anyway he can.

He’s never been in love and does NOT want to be thank you very much. I don’t think he’d be much different from his normal self tbh?? But he’d very new so idk. He’d be very devoted though once in love. Despite how he normally acts, he would never cheat or anything like that. Once he’s in actual love that is.

💘 LUSTING

Ugh. Just--- I mean ?? Normal Levi tbh lmao. He’s his usual flirty self I suppose. But to a higher extent. And he’ll be VERY touchy. Sometimes it’ll be subtle touches, little brushes of his fingers on your skin, barely there and gone before you know it. Other times it;ll be obvious grabbing and touching ans groping. All in all he’s not very subtle and he makes his intentions very much known.

I mean-- he pretty much just goes for it. He’s not shy about it yknow. He’ll jsut give it a crack, make his intentions known, see where it goes from there. He can be relatively charming when he wants to be. He wouldn’t start touching the person until it was kinda, like-- made obvious that they were dtf. But after that point he’d get right on with it.

Impossible. He is a pure boy. He does not feel lust. I mean-- if/when he did which wouldn’t be often. He’d just be very confused with himself and feel weird?? He’d never act on it or show it. he’d just be like ?? tf is going on with u andrew chill

He gets very flustered tbh. He turns to mush when t comes to things like this. Very much not the dominating type, even if he tried to be he’d be really flustered and unconvincing doing so. He wouldn’t make it obvious if he was lusting over someone, he’d more than likely wait for them to come to him. Very shy, but very sensual, he would want to touch them a lot.

I mean--- it’s basically default Dante lmao. So yeah, his usual self. Very flirty and charming and whatnot. Also very confident. Depending on the person he could get pretty touchy too.

🌞 HAPPY

Again, he’s not sublte. He’ll show how happy he is very obvious. He’ll be grinning and smiling and looking all bright. he doesn’t hide it at all and his body language gives it away if his words don’t already.

I feel like it’s honestly a little bit rare to have a purely genuinely happy Luke?? Like he’s mostly pretty chill and content I guess?? But he’s not often at a level when he’s just ?? smiling-- not smirking, smiling and happy and just. A sight for sore eyes. When he’s happy he can’t really hide it, not that he wants to. He’ll smile and be cheerful and a little affectionate tbh.

Also doesn’t exactly happen often. He’s very awkward with emotions and whatnot. So he’d jsut smile, it’d be shown through small little things. A small small, maybe acting a little, just slightly more confident kinda thing.

Well I mean for one--- his freckles glow when he gets happy. And he’s literally just so bright and warm and all sunshine. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. He’s got such a sweet warm and welcoming smile. And he’d want to spread the happiness he’s feeling.

He’d be all smiles and laughs?? He’s generally happy most of the time, when he’s not with his dad that is. But yeah, his usual self, being a cocky shit, grinning acting dumb and mischievous and whatnot.

⚡️ ANGRY

Slightly depending on what makes him angry, but typically once again, he doesn’t hide it. He’ll show he’s angry one way or another. If he’s like pissed -- he’ll either tell you off and rip you apart bc he can be mEAn when he wants. Or he’ll yell at you. Or he’ll just be all grumpy and sulky or something.

Yikes. Luke doesn’t like getting angry, he really genuinely doesn’t. It’s not pleasant. It’s not fun. It doesn’t make him feel good. Plus, he knows if he properly loses his temper and lets the anger overwhelm him he can and will say things he’ll eventually regret, hurtful things. So when he starts getting angry he really tries his best to suppress it and hold it in. Even as it starts to burst out, his anger is a bit like a roller coaster. He’ll be screaming and mad and stuff, then reign himself in and try to be rational and calm down, only to be mad mad again seconds later and go off again.

Andrew almost never gets angry. Partly jsut because he can almost always find a way to blame himself for whatever the thing is. But when he does it’s usually more of a scolding rather than him getting angry. He wouldn’t get angry over someone he didn’t care about. And he’d never get properly angry at someone he did. So it’s more like a “pls stop doing that’/acting that way its bad for (inserts reasons)”

He can get pretty angry when it’s it’s called for. He won’t take it laying down. And will bite back if he needs. But that’s usually in extreme cases. Generally, he can get pissy or grumpy but it doesn’t last long and he backs down very easily. He doesn’t have much of a spine most of the time when he gets angry.

I feel like he has different levels of anger?? Like he could just get a bit pissy or annoyed from time to time. And he’d let you know. He’s not gonna hold it back and would straight up tell you and/or hit you. But then there’s also losing his shit angry where he’d beat the living hell out of you so :/

💧 SAD

Levi?? Sad?? Haha that doesn’t exist :)))) He just bottles it all up. Pretends he’s fine. He literally refuses to acknowledge his sadness. He just. Doesn’t. He doesn’t fuck with it. He refuses.

Another boy who doesn’t let himself feel sad. He’s got that whole ?? toxic masculinity kinda thing where he thinks guys can’t be sad and god fORBID cry. His whole life anytime he was sad or anything he was just told to basically man up or suck it up kinda thing?? That’s something that really got to him, and even with time and growth it probably wont go away much. Showing emotions for him, like sadness at least, makes him feel super vulnerable. He doesn’t like it. It makes him feel weak and pathetic and unmanly. So he doesn’t he bottles that shit up.

He doesn’t really get sad often either. He’s a bit of an emotionless boi. But when he does most of the time he’ll keep it to himself. Maybe have a cry to himself or smth. He might also cry if he was disappointed in someone or himself. But yeah, he’s not a very emotional person so.

He’s pretty open with his emotions so he’d not afraid to cry or show that he’s sad. The only thing that would make him hide it is not wanting to be a burden to someone. But even then-- he’s not good at hiding any of his emotions really. So if he was sad you’d be able to tell.

Nooooo thanks. Sadness? Dante doesn’t know her :/ It’s a bit like the Luke thing. He wasn’t allowed to be sad. He wasn’t allowed to be weak. Nothing like that. He removes himself from any sadness, completely dissociates from it. You’ll likely never catch him being sad, let alone ever crying or anything.

💔 HEARTBOKEN

---Levi has never had his heart broken.

Luke also hasn’t had his heart broken. But I imagine he’d bury the feeling deep down and carry on with life like he was fine bc ?? emotions?? nah.

Never liked anyone never had his heart broken. But if he did he’d be crushed by it I think. If something with Andrew ever got to the point of him liking someone enough to have his heart broken then he’d be super crushed when it happened. It’s devastate him.

He’d be very much devastated. But-- he’d try his best to pick himself up and move on. It’d take him a while though, and he’d be sad for a while. But he’d try to push through it. He wouldn’t want people worrying about him. But he’d never be able to see the person again, because even like--- years later seeing them would make him upset.

He’s never had his heart broken and he doesn’t plan to ever fall in love so :/ But if he did ever let someone in enough to have his heart broken. yIKES. I think it would break him?? Completely?? It’d only take one time to fuck him up for good tbh. And depending on how it happened he’d either just be crushed and really sad/broken, or he’d be sad/broken and maliciously destroy your entire life.

❌ JEALOUS

Oh boi. He’s the type to just get super grumpy. But also not act like he’s grumpy. He’ll just go up to the person and touch them, depending on the situation he’ll get super handsy. He would not be above fucking in front of someone just to prove who the person was with. He can be super petty and would likely want to punish the person he was dating/liked as well as the other one who made him jealous.

BIG YIKES. Luke goes beyond jealousy and gets straight to possessive. A big part of it is his whole ?? being super out of touch with his emotions. He just doesn’t know how to process the feelings of jealousy. He can’t deal with it. It makes him so frustrated. He’s also a bit of a controlling person in general so when he gets jealous and he can’t just ?? control the person and make them stop it frustrates him more. He really doesn’t know how to healthily deal with it. So it just makes him angry and desperate and irrational. Feeling jealous really hurts Luke, it makes him feel super insecure, which of course he doesn’t like and it makes him more angry. So all in all it ends with him being possessive and getting mad. He’ll lash out and make ridiculous demands, the type to test the person to see if they’ll pick him over whoever or whatever the thing making him jealous is. Not good. Unhealthy. Bye.

One of those blaming himself type moments. He’d put himself down, and think about how much better that person is with the person he likes. In an extreme case he would possibly even push the two of them together. But mostly he’d just mope to himself and distance himself and feel all sad.

He doesn’t really get jealous tbh. Unless he’s given a real reason to be. Like if his s.o was out there purposefully trying to make him jealous then sure, he would be. But he’d just be upset with their behavior and he’d call them out on it. But other than that not so much, he might get a little insecure from time to time, but he’d just need a little reassurance to feel better.

It very much depends for Dante. If he just liked someone, had a crush but they weren’t together he’d get jealous. He’d be nowhere near Luke’s level but he’d be on the possessive side. He’d want to keep them away from whoever was making him feel jealous. He probably wouldn’t get so angry like Luke though. In most cased. But--- if he was in a relationship with the person. Nope. No jealousy. He’d be pretty chill. And he’d trust the person. Just don’t break that trust. He might still feel jealous from time to time but he’d hold it back and calm himself by telling himself to trust them.

#hOLY SHIT #this took me so fucking long #i have literally been working on this since u sent it #wOw #i have too many muses #and thats leaving some out like woah #god damn #snw-cnvs

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