Esme Hardcastle: professional theorist and horrible scapegoat
This is my Official Essay-Post complaining about the absurdity that was the family tree. I'll be trying to explain my thoughts in a well-structured manner.
Firstly, I think we can all agree that making that goddamn family tree was one of the greatest mistakes CC's ever made, if not the greatest. It's been haunting her and us since tlh was announced and, frankly, should never have seen the light of day. However, once it did, it was a reality whose incorrectness the story had to live with and explain. And CC explained it, but in the most underwhelming, unsatisfactory way possible.
We're told that Esme Hardcastle, an ascended mundane James first meets in the shadowhunter academy, was the mastermind behind the family tree and that her mind is, actually, quite underdeveloped, hence why the family tree is full of errors. Well, that is a good way to explain certain aspects of the family tree, for example:
Why Alastair's name is misspelled as 'Alistar' -> many English names have different spellings and Esme might not have known which one to go to for Alastair; or perhaps she just made a typo because she was writing the family tree too fast
Why Sona's name is way off -> Alastair is a bitch and who knows what lies he could've told her to get her to leave him alone
Why some people (like Thomas) are supposed to die earlier than we now can expect them to -> she got angry and shortened their fictional lifespans
If the family tree had only silly mistakes like those, then Esme's existence would be nice, but nope. The family tree royally fucked up.
For once, it shouldn't contain info up until tda, since Esme surely didn't get to live until 1995 (when Emma was born), but also, she's a real character in-universe. She's supposed to know everyone in tlh, she should know that Barbara and Christopher died in 1903, she should know that Christopher certainly didn't get to marry Grace nor have children with her (even if they'd married they wouldn't have had any because they're both ace). Why, then, did she write that?
Esme is stupid, but she's not blind ffs. If CC really wanted to make her the reason behind the family tree, she should've explained further why Esme went full happy-flower-power mode and imagined a whole future for a guy who died at sixteen: is she a hardcore gracetopher shipper? A conspiratorial theorist who, in spite of seeing Christopher's body literally burn in a pyre, still thought he was alive? Both? I guess we'll never know.
This is all, for obvious reasons, frustrating.
I'm beyond overjoyed that she won't make another family tree. I wouldn't be surprised if she actually wrote a trilogy about tlh's children after twp (since her idea of it being the last shadowhunter trilogy has pretty much disappeared) and I don't want her to have to make up any other stupid reasons for why xyz info is wrong because Idiotbrain McStupid wrote it to compliment his real-person fanfiction of the next generations.
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TWILIGHT characters as love tropes
ft. carlise, esme, emmet, rosalie, edward, jasper, alice, jacob, seth, leah, paul, charlie, bella
a/n: with songs to each character
༻♛༺
⤷ Carlisle Cullen - rich love
Carlisle is a very rich man which means he will spoil you a lot. Not only with expensive gifts but also with a lot of attention and affection.
Every time when he gets home from work, he welcomes you with a kiss and warm hug.
When he has a day off, he will cook with you (even tho he cannot eat it, it's just about the time he can spend with you) or you will lay on his lap with his hand stroking your hair and book in his other hand, reading to you.
Every Friday he will take you to a fancy restaurant and than for a slow walk around the nearest park.
On your birthday or on International Women's Day (or any other 'special' day) he will spoil you even more than on normal days. Expensive jewelry, perfumes, clothes, shoes,...
He will bring you flowers at least once every two weeks. And every July he will take you on vacation and you can choose where.
Lolita - Lana Del Rey
⤷ Esme Cullen - falling in love fast
Esme is such a kind soul so it's no surprise that you two fell in love with each other fast.
She will take you on a date every Saturday. Mostly coffee dates are her favourite. The two of you can talk for hours while drinking delicious coffee.
She will also enjoy baking with you (even tho she cannot eat/taste them)
She has many polaroids with you on them or with the both of you on them and has them hang in her closet or the small table beside her bed.
She loves when you paint her nails and massage her legs and she will always return the favor.
She loves sunny days but because she's a vampire and her skin sparkle on the sun, she cannot go out where people can see her, BUT she can go somewhere private like meadow or forest where you two can be alone and on the sun!
Sofia - Clairo
⤷ Emmett Cullen - he fell first and harder
Emmett was absolutely over the moon when you two started dating, because he knew from the start that you two are just meant to be.
He loves, loves, LOVES when you sit on his lap. He doesn't care if you are stroking his hair or doing make-up on him, he just want you in his lap, so he can embrace you with his big arms and muscular body.
He'll dance goofily around the bedroom with you to some catchy hip-hop songs he has found.
He loves cuddling with you especially when he can be the big spoon, because he likes how tiny you're compared to him.
Matching pyjamas and make polaroids in those pyjamas, which happens to be one of his favourite memory and polaroids.
He doesn't really like reading books but he always wants you to read to him, because he loves your voice.
She's Kinda Hot - 5 Seconds of Summer
⤷ Rosalie Cullen/Hale - you fell first but she fell harder
Rosalie has trust issues and trauma because of her past so she wouldn't fall in love easily nor fast, but trust me when she does fall in love; she loves hard.
She loves having spa day with you which includes face masks, painting nails, shared warm bath and much more.
She will take you to the mail shopping almost every day and will buy you everything you look at.
She doesn't like much PDA but she will hold your hand in public but if she gets jealous, she will show the person she's jealous off who you belong to.
She doesn't show it to others just you, but she loves cuddles. She loves when you lay next to her, face to face so she can see your beautiful face.
She's also very protective over you, so if any guy or a girl makes you feel uncomfortable (or unsafe), tell her and she will make sure they won't approach you ever again.
Prey - The Neighbourhood
⤷ Edward Cullen - first and only love
Edward waited so many years for you, but it was worth it because he finally got you.
He loves when you kiss his forehead even tho he has to lean down because of your height difference, it makes him feel safe. Still his favourite place to kiss you is on your lips.
Edward will write poets for you and about you on small piece of paper and then put them somewhere in your room where you will notice them like your closet or on your book, laptop, notebook, pillow,...and he will bring you your favorite flowers right after the previous ones he gave you have withered.
He will also write songs about you (or for you) and then play them to you on the piano. Which he absolutely loves because you sit right next to him and look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours full of love. Edward cannot read your mind but he can sure read your eyes, the small spark and the love in them when you look at him, he just loves it!
Loves cuddling with you, his favourite position is when you lay on his chest or when he's the big spoon, face to face or hugging you from behind.
He loves having deep talks with you and he'll tell you about his childhood or about the time he was born in.
Follow You - Imagine Dragons
⤷ Jasper Cullen/Hale - unconditional love
Jasper can be sometimes insecure just as much as Edward, they even have similar reasons... Jasper is afraid of him hurting you, he's afraid that he won't be able to control himself around you, but your words of affirmation and gently touch will calm him down.
Jasper doesn't talk much, he rather listens and he loves listens to you. It doesn't matter what you are talking about, he just loves your voice.
He will take you for a horse ride because he loved it back when he was a human and because he was a cowboy, but you two will have to share the horse because he wants your arms around him.
At first he was a bit scared of cuddling with you (again because of his control) but soon as your hand went to his hair, he melted. Both of you realized how touch starved he's so now cuddling is an everyday thing.
Jasper is a gentleman like Edward or Carlisle so he will also bring you flowers every even week.
He'll read to you to make you fall asleep, because his smooth voice is like a lullaby to you. But if Jasper feels that you are anxious, he will calm you down with his gift and than talk to you what made you anxious, eventually he will cuddle you.
R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys
⤷ Alice Cullen - any universe
Alice (because of her gift) always knew you were the one, her one and only true love. So when she first saw you, she couldn't help but babbling to her adoptive siblings all day how amazing you are and how she's already in love with you.
She'll go to the mail with you and make small fashion show with you in the cabins with all the cute outfits she found for you and you for her.
She's mostly the small spoon (sometimes she is the big spoon but depends on the situation) while cuddling because she loves when you hold her in your arms and stroke her back.
Outside, in front of other people, she will always hold your whole arm, not just palm.
If you have trouble falling asleep, she will gladly sing to you while stroking your hair.
She'll buy matching clothes, jewerly or nail polish, because she loves when you two match your outfits or other accesories.
i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red
⤷ Jacob Black - whatever it takes
Jacob is willing to do anything and everything for you, his imprint. He will kill for you, he will die for you, he will do just everything.
Jacob can be sometimes insecure because he isn't that rich like the Cullens and he thinks you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, so once again he's willing to prove you that he's worthy of your love.
He'll make you a small wolf and your favourite flower out of wood and attached it into a bracelet, which he will eventually give you to your birthday.
He's also a big cuddle bug, because he's so warm will make you comfortable enough to fall asleep. He's most of the time the big spoon because he feels like he's protecting you but he doesn't mind to be the little spoon. Cuddling also leaves his scent on you so every vampire or shape-shifter (wolf) can smell who you belong to.
He'll take you on motorcycle rides. Also he will drop you at your school on his motorcycle and then he will pick you up. Also he'll let you ride on his back while he's in his wolf form.
Jacob doesn't like fancy restaurants, he prefers his or your bed with some snacks and movies, cuddling of course!
Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
⤷ Seth Clearwater - love at first sight
Seth hoped that he will met his imprint someday and he heard from the others how amazing the feeling is to imprint on someone, but no one really prepared him to him because when he first saw you, your beauty hit him like a brick. And he finally understood the feeling because all he could see was you...
Seth will make sure you are always in a good mood with him, either he could tell you some stupid joke or cheesy pick-up line.
He maybe look like a cute baby but don't let his cute face fool you because he won't hesitate to kill for you, so it makes him really protective over you.
In his wolf form he's like a big puppy but only to you and he loves giving you piggy back rides in his wolf form.
Cuddling really depends on his mood; if he's in good mood he will be the little spoon with his head placed on your lap; if he's in a bad mood (mostly when he's jealous) he'll be the big spoon to show others that he can protect you.
He loves baking with you but he's clueless so he will just stand there and watch you or mix some ingredients, often sneaks up a kiss on the cheek while baking.
Dandelions - Ruth B.
⤷ Leah Clearwater - enemies to lovers
At first Leah hated the fact that she actually had a imprint, so she would try to stay away from you as much as possible and when she couldn't; she would have some nasty comments towards you, but it hurt her as hell when she saw how sad she made you or worst insecure.
She tried hard to stay away from you but she failed, miserably. She needed you, she needed to be with you, so she will explain everything to you same as she would apologize for her acting.
Very protective of you, anyone could just try and test her patience.
At first she wouldn't want you to be near her while she was in her wolf form because she was much bigger and stronger so she was afraid that she could hurt you, but she became a sucker for scratches behind her ear.
Seth will often tease his big sister because she's really soft when it comes to you, which makes Leah give Seth few playful slaps.
When it comes to cuddling, Leah is the big spoon because she has the urge to protect you and being the big spoon makes her feel like she's protecting you in you sleep.
Running With The Wolves - AURORA
⤷ Paul Lahote - rough love
With the term 'rough love' i mean that Paul is passionate lover and is willing to do anything for his imprint, you.
Paul isn't very patient when it comes to people but you are an exception. Still he's aggressive when someone push his buttons but you are always here to drag him away and calm him down.
Just a single touch and Paul's full attention is on you. Which brings me to the fact that he turns into a puppy when you touch him, your touch is just to comforting.
He's the big spoon because he feels like he protects you and it makes his scent stay on you.
He can get jealous very easily, he trusts you but he doesn't trusts the others and he doesn't want any boys or girls too close to his imprint.
Loves everything you cook or bake and will always eat everything.
Overprotective, if any vampire even dare to touch you, he'll kill him.
Little Freak - Harry Styles
⤷ Charlie Swan - old love
Charlie is old school but still a huge gentleman.
He will bring you flowers every time you had a bad day and some chocolates when you had a good day to make it even better.
He loves watching old movies or crime/detective movies with you, with his arm around your shoulder.
When he has day off, you two will go on a picnic date which always ends up with you laying on his chest while he's telling you some stories from work.
Every time you bring him a lunch into his police office, he will welcome you with a warm, thankful smile and thank you with a kiss on your cheek.
He will protect you even more than before, when he finds out that there are vampires and werewolfs (shape-shifters).
Burning Love - Elvis Presley
⤷ Bella Swan - teenage love
Bella will be awkward and nervous when she first spoke to you, because you were just too beautiful to be real. But to her surprise she made you fall in love with her which made her so, so happy.
First attempts of trying to cuddle with her or just show her simple romantic affection were awkward because she was just to nervous, eventually she will warm up and feel more comfortable.
She find our that you touch calms her anxiety and nervousness so whenever she's nervous or anxious she will just hold your hand and squeeze it gently.
Charlie was very happy that his daughter found someone like you, which made Bella even more happy when she saw how you, the love of her life and her father get along.
Often having sleepovers at her house when Charlie has night shifts, which always leads to matching face masks and cuddles.
Kisses on the cheek are her favourite, because she can easily turn and give you small peck on your cheek and visa versa.
Electric Love - BØRNS
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Honey, I want something for “being Carlisle and Esme's youngest daughter”. and being Garrett's love interest! I love him, however, he has few things on this platform! Guys are very protective of her as well as girls. Thanks for the attention 🌷💌.
Being Carlisle and Esme's youngest daughter HCs:
Paring: daughter!Reader x Dad!Carlisle x Mom!Esme (Reader x Boyfriend!Garrett)
Summary: headcanons about carlisle and Esme's daughter dating Garrett.
💜MasterList 💜twilight MasterList
So I think they're youngest daughter is gonna remain human for awhile. Your the only cullen 'child' that has been legally adopted by carlisle and Esme, So your actually they're daughter.
You were the daughter of an old friend of Esme's, your mother died giving birth to you and your biological father just wasn't fit to take care of you. Esme and Carlisle took you in under your bio-mom's wishes.
Anyway, Esme was over the moon excited to have a baby in the house, she practically never put you down... Unless Carlisle wanted to hold you and cuddle you.
The two never really gotten the chance to be actual parents, with the other's they were already grown and matured, but with you they could finally experience parent hood.
Your defently a daddy's girl, Carlisle loves you with every single cell in his body and he's very over protective of you... Unfortunately to the point he didn't trust Jasper alone with you when you were a baby.
Speaking of Jasper and siblings, you literally have the best siblings in the world. If you thought carlisle was over protective just wait till you see the boys.
Emmett and you are the closet, he's always making you laugh and 'wrestling'. He'll do just about anything for you or with you. He's probably also the most protective out of your three brothers.
When you were little Edward would often read you stories and teach you how to play piano.
Jasper is your go to person when you have a problem, he's the best listener and he has your back.
As you got older the protectiveness got old, high school wasn't easy with them around but honestly they're the reason you survived.
But the protectiveness didn't get really annoying till you met Garrett, your mate.
In all honesty it's Edward and Bella's fault (Emmett words not yours). You and Bella don't get along at all and she's jealous of yours and Edward's relationship... That's a story for another time though, this is yours and Garrett's story.
Anyway, the family didn't really expect it to happen. After going to Egypt with your parents you decided to met the other guests, that's how you met Garrett.
He cought your eye immediately and the feeling was mutual, Carlisle didn't like how Garrett would look at you.
“who were you talking to?” your dad asked after leaving the living room. “dose it matter?”
“no, no, it doesn't matter unless it's a Boy!”
You just brushed it off, knowing your dad was just being over protective and You continued to get to know Garrett.
You thought he was very charming and funny. Dispite the situation you were currently in with Renesmee he was always making you laugh.
Your parents were happy and all, but at the same time Carlisle didn't want to see you get hurt.
“Dad, what are you doing?” you asked after put some space between you and Garrett.
“there should be a safe distance between you and boys... Especially this one”
Anyway, Garrett realized the problem and went to Carlisle about it. They were both old fashion.
“I think I love your daughter and I want to your promising to date her”
Carlisle's problems seemed to go away slightly. “well it's up to her... But if you hurt her you'll deal with me”
after your family won the battle with the vulturi he took you at on that date. He treated you like a queen the whole time and he asked you to be his girlfriend at the end of the night.
So he did join the coven after awhile. The whole nomad life wasn't pleasant to him anymore. He even changed to the vegetarian diet for you.
He likes like being productive of you, but he knows you can take care of yourself.
Emmett dose send deth threats when you started dating. “you better not hurt her” carlisle doesn't have a violent bone in his body, but Emmett dose.
But after the family saw how happy you were they welcomed Garrett into the family with open arms.
“I'll follow you anywhere woman” he smiled.
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Do you write fem readers?!? 😭 If so can you write some head cannons about the Cullens with a goth s/o
i proudly write for all readers, nonny! and I'm gonna assume this about about trad!goth, but I'll try and make sure this applies to most goth subcultures!
Cullen Clan x Goth!Fem!S/O
Carlisle Cullen
He's confused but supportive. Back in his day, the term 'goth' only applied to the people who sacked Rome, which he'll remind you of regularly, especially if you're visiting the Volturi (who will also assume that you are directly connected to the ancient Goths, and would fear you as a result).
He'd be interested in your genealogy, because he thinks you're connection to the goth style can't be mere coincidence or personal choice, and it wouldn't be difficult to find out either, all he'd have to do is check if you have any Germanic ancestry from the last 2000 years.
Esme Cullen
If you're happy and comfortable, she's happy and comfortable. While it probably isn't her style personally, she's quick to see the benefits. For instance, black is a very easy colour to maintain, particularly with regards to cleaning.
Her only concern is getting you clothes other than black so that you can have something to wear to events that may require specific colours, like if you two are guests at a wedding (she wouldn't want you wearing black as it's bad luck for the couple).
Edward Cullen
Edward himself is basically a diet-corporate goth, so dating you will probably help him develop his own sense of comfort in the style.
The two of you are regularly seen brooding in the Forks CVS, loitering around the hair dye section, silently terrifying all of the elderly people waiting at the pharmacy.
Edward is likely already very familiar with goth music, has absolutely been to some Bauhaus concerts in his time, and probably has a respectable collection of gothic rock records in his room.
Rosalie Hale
It'll be like a Barbie/Oppenheimer-esque clash in aesthetics. I personally see Rosalie with a very Y2K aesthetic, so the two of you walking down the street together might turn some heads.
That doesn't mean that she isn't fully supportive of your style though, and appreciates the philosophy of the aesthetic, how it's a style built on defying expectations of conformity and obedience. In her short life, all Rosalie knew was to dress properly, smile, be open, happy, a willing host, an amusing guest. In death, she's proud to be herself, and even prouder to be with someone so comfortable with dressing exactly how they want, regardless of what others might think.
Emmett Cullen
You dress scary and Emmett loves it. He has regularly compared you to a venomous snake, your black clothes and aggressive makeup mean that almost everyone in Forks steers clear of you. But not Emmett, he's never had the survival instincts to stay away from things that could kill him, in fact, your "unapproachable" style only drew him in more.
Absolutely loves wandering around Forks with you, even if you aren't particularly doing anything. He thinks it's hilarious that some people cross the street to avoid you, it's like having 'scary dog' privileges.
Alice Cullen
She'd seen you in her visions for some time, but she almost didn't recognise you when you started dressing strangely and wearing heavy makeup. At first, it disturbed her, you looked like the sleep-paralysis demons that used to haunt her in the asylum.
Once she gets the chance to meet you in real life, that fear quickly subsides. Through your relationship, Alice learns how much of a safe space goth society can be, and that she can rely on other goths to not be judgemental towards her like so many others are.
Jasper Hale
Greatly appreciates the Victorian-era elements that are incorporated into your clothes, it helps him feel less old. You'll make his day if you show any interest in his clothes and jewellery that he had in life, particularly the more morbid pieces (such as the ring made out of his mother's hair).
If you're looking particularly historical, he'll love to get in his original clothes from when he was alive (except the ""uniform"" that shan't be mentioned), and stroll about Forks with you, arm in arm, like a true Southern gentleman.
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