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jae-daddy · 4 years

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Chubby (12)

Jaebum AU series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / thirteen

masterlist

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader Genre: Romance, Drama, Mature, Angst Plot: you are getting bullied, and jaebum decides to help you a/n: at this point, i’m literally just writing for me lol. :) but, hope yall like it party next chapter! not edited

You were back in middle school. The dark blue uniform scattering the cafeteria, but you remained in your little corner trying to go unnoticed. You knew it was pointless, you were too big to hide. You stood like a sore thumb, but there was nothing wrong with pretending there was a blanket of invisibility covering you.

“Hey, y/n,” a girl with short bob haircut sat infront of you. You saw a fresh cut on the corner of her lips, and you instantly lowered your eyes to the table.

She was one of them. One of the girl who would bully you. Well she never explicitly did anything herself, but she was always there. She stood behind the group, you could see her from the floor. Her arms folded, her foot tapping with annoyance, and her eyes wondering else where. She didn’t want to be there while the other girls took turns to hurt you. No, it wasn’t that what was happening to you bothered her, she just bored and wanted to be elsewhere.

You had wanted to be elsewhere too. But you both were stuck there. Stuck as tears fell your eyes, stuck as she looked up at sky, stuck as you looked down and closed your eyes as another kick landed on your stomach.

“Hey!” She called out again. Your eyes snapped to her, not sure how to react. “I’m Nora.”

You didn’t trust her smile. You didn’t trust anything that was going on right now. You didn’t even know what was going on. Your eyes scanned the cafetaria unsurely.

“I’m not with those girls anymore,” she shrugged as she stuck her straw into the pink milk carton. “Those filthy bitches have nothing better to do.”

You just stared at her, still unsure of what to do.

She let out a sigh, as she sat her drink down.

“I won’t lie to you. I didn’t leave by choice.” She looked into your eyes, as she talked. She was a fast talker you noticed. Even with a cut lip, there was something bright about her. “They kicked me out because apparently other people having feelings for you is a crime.”

When you didn’t reply, she added, “Jisuen’s boyfriend started to like me. So instead of dumping that son of a bitch, they decided I deserved to be punished.”

You remained quiet, still not sure what to do or say. You weren’t good at this. No one in this school talked to you unless they were telling you what to do or that you were worthless and not good enough.

“It seems like we’re in the same boat,” she gave you a tight smile. “Let’s look after one another. Two is better then one.” She placed a chocolate biscuit on your plate as offering.

You looked at her, searching for any form of mockery but nothing was there.

You slowly lifted up the biscuit and took a bite.

“There you go,” she smiled. She waited for a moment before continuing with a sigh. “It sucks that they do that to you just because you’re pretty.”

You snorted unable to hold it back, making her be taken a back in surprise, before shaking her head, chuckling.

___________________________________________

You stared at Jin and her fresh new haircut, that brushed her shoulders briskly.

“How do you like it?” She grinned, turning side to side outside your apartment.

You stared at her unable to look away. You felt the ghosts slowly creep up behind you. They wrapped their arms around your waist, their sharp tongue slipping across your neck and into your ear.

It sharply pulled you into the darkness that was churning bigger behind you. You could hear it; you could feel it. Growing, planning, getting ready; increasing every passing second. You were scared, you were frightened of where it tangles would drag you and for how long.

You stared at Jin’s face as it slowly started to morph into someone else’s. JIn’s round eyes, becoming sharp, her noise pointy, her lips smaller with a cut in the corner. Her dead eyes stared at you, and you felt all oxygen leaving your veins, leaving you cold.

“What do think y/n?” Her lips scrowning into a smirk, as she tilted her head. “How do I look?

You tried answering. You tried breathing. You tried to move, but you were stuck; unable to move. The branches moved from your waist, crawling up your chest and around your neck; getting tighter.

“HELP!” She screamed. Her face turning into one of horror. Her short hair frailing around her in panic. “HELP ME Y/N!”

Her screaming resided as she smirked hauntingly at you. Blood spilled from her mouth as a new bruise formed on her cheek.

“We’re meant to be in this forever.”

She reached out and held your shoulder.

You screamed jerking the hand off you as you fell on to the floor. You clenched your eyes shut as your lungs burned breathing in harshly.

“Hey, hey hey,” Jin came down infront of you, her voice gentle and full of concern. “Y/n, its okay, baby.”

She sunk down infront of you holding you in her arms.

The branches snapped out of you, the dark void disappering behind you as you slumped onto JIn. You hugged her tight, crying into her arms.

“What have I done, Jin?” You whimpered trying to control your breathing.

“Y/N?!” Jaebum’s body appeared in the doorway, his chest heaving and eyes frantic. They landed on you; widening as a breathe left him.

“What...” he trailed off softly. “I heard you scream so I...”

“It’s okay, JB,” Jin said for you. “I got this.”

You turned away from Jaebum hiding yourself from him and his eyes. You didn’t want to see pity in his eyes for you. You didn’t want him to see you like this.

“Okay,” Jaebum muttered, you heard his hands hit the frame twice, before he walked away.

___________________________________________

“Are you sure you’ll be okay, y/n?” Jin asked as she zipped up her winter jacket.

You nodded before hugging her. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay, y/n,” she gave you a small smile, before jokingly adding, “Damn, sad y/n sure loves to hug. Maybe you should carry that trait over.”

You rolled your eyes chuckling, before walking out with her.

“You didn’t have to walk me out, I know the way.”

“It’s okay, walk will be nice.” You told her, as you clasped your hands in front of you. She smiled in reply, hugging you tightly before she moved away.

“Text me-- call me if anything happens okay?” Jin told you, sternly looking into your eyes. “It doesn’t matter what time it is.”

You nodded, waving as she walked away, before turning the corner.

You turned, about to walk into the building but hesitated. You didn’t want to go in just yet.

You turned and began walking the other way. You ended up at the look out point where your grandma would take you too.

You sat down on the bench, and pulled the knitted cardigan closer around you. It didn’t stop the cold wind completely, but it helped slightly. It was better than nothing.

You stared down at the orange lights staring to light up in the dusk.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in so long, Nani,” you said out to your grandma. “I lot has been happening. So much that I forget about it sometimes.

“You remember Jaebum right?” You asked the wind, that began getting chiller as every word left you. “He was here last time with Tuesday. You would’ve loved him. And he would’ve loved your kimchi jigae.”

You smiled softly, before biting your lip to hold back the tears.

“I miss you,” you whispered closing your eyes. “You would’ve been able to tell me what to do and what to say. I am so lost. I don’t know what to do.”

“What’s there to think about? Isn’t everything okay?” A man walking by said into his phone. You stilled for a moment, before chuckling in surprise.

“I guess everything is going well. I am friends with Jaebum, and he has helped with Jenny, and he takes my mind of things.” You muttered a reply, looking down at the dirt, before looking up.

“You would’ve compared him to a prince, Nani,” you said into the wind. “He certainly looks like one.” You chuckled.

“But what if I don’t want to leave,” you looked up to the darkening sky, as stars began sparkling. “What if I don’t deserve him.”

You thought back to the apartment. You thought back to her. You thought back to Nora and her face as she fell to the ground. You thought back to Jaebum looking at you with pity.

“What if there is no happy ending,” you whispered opening your eyes.

Meow.

You looked down to a grey fur ball snuggling to your feet.

“Tuesday?” you gasped, lifting him into your arms. He snuggled in closer making frown, confused. You looked around for Jaebum, but didn’t find anyone.

“Were you planning on escaping?” You cooed, before rubbing your nose against his softness. “Come on buddy, let’s get you home to daddy.”

You bit your tongue as you stood outside to Jaebum’s door.

The cold wind crept up the hem of your long dress, making chills run down your spine.

Tuesday meowed eagerly, almost telling you to hurry up.

You let out a deep breathe, as you knocked on the door. You felt embarrased seening him so soon after he had seen you like that. You wanted to run away, but you knew you shouldn’t.

Something about Jaebum made you want to turn to him. Something made you believe that it would be okay to be with him right now. Something about Jaebum made everything okay.

The door unlocked and a dishelved Jaebum opened it.

His cheeks were rosy pink, his chest heaving as if he had been running.

“Hi,” he greeted you with a toothy grin. “Surprising to see you here!”

You stared at him, as you bit your lip. After a moment, he opened the door wider letting you in.

“Oh, you have Tee!” He exclaimed, his voice super high, making you feel suspicious. You turned around closing the door behind you to find Jaebum’s winter coat dusted with mist.

“Were you out?” You asked, as you walked into the house. You slipped into your pink slippers that Jaebum had bought for you.

“No!” He replied quickly, making you narrow your eyes in suspicion. “I’ve been home all afternoon!”

Jaebum shrugged not looking at you. “Why, something wrong?”

He stepped back and held out his arms in a little taadaa!

The table was set with a ramen and coke, and his laptop showing Twilight.

“Oh wow, Jae,” you couldn’t help but smile, as you looked at him feeling all the tension in your body fade away.

Jaebum scratched the back of his head, as he shrugged.

“I thought a supernatural romantic comedy would be great today,” he breathed in through his teeth, looking at the ground.

“Yes because Twilight is a comedy first.” You chuckled, settling into your place.

Jaebum sat down next to you, his shoulders almost touching yours.

“A true intellectual, as always,” he grinned, hitting play.

It was halfway through the movie when Jaebum talked.

“How was your afternoon?” You stilled for a moment, before biting your lip and nodding.

“It was good after that...” you tralied off, feeling awkward. “Jin wanted to choose an outfit for the party.”

“What did she choose?” Jaebum’s eyes snapped to yours widening excitedly.

“Uh, jeans, a top and a jacket for hers.” You told him, making him frown.

“Wow, such description,” Jaebum shook his head. “But good, dress warmly. You’re like a popcicle.”

You scoffed at him before turning to the screen. A chuckle left you as Edward called Bella a spidermonkey and began flying through the forest. Jaebum joined to, pointing something out making you laugh harder.

You sobered up, and sat back smiling. You felt Jaebum’s eyes on you, and your cheeks began to feel hot.

Meow.

You looked over to Tuesday meowing at the door repeatedly.

“She likes acting like a dog nowadays for some reason. I think its the puppy tiktoks we’ve been watching thats influencing him,” Jaebum shook his head. “You already went out for a walk today, buddy.”

Tuesday hissed at him and ran into the bedroom.

“Wait, how did Tee even get out of your apartment?” You asked Jaebum, looking at him puzzled.

“He... must’ve... have...” Jaebum searched around the house. His frantic eyes landing on different objects for a few seconds before bouncing off. Finally his eyes landed on the windows, and you saw the lightbulb go of in his mind. “He must’ve gotten out the window!”

You nodded, as he breathed out satisfied with himself.

You sat back smiling.

Tuesday jumped from the seventh story, and Jaebum is a good liar.

#chubby #jaebum #fanfic #jaebumjfanfic #fluff #jaebum fluff #anst #angst #cute #bullying #jaedaddy #got7 jaebum #got7 fanfic #got7 angst #party next chapter lol #hope y'all like it #repost

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stonerbughead · 3 years

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Maria watches friday night lights (#33)

I’m back, I’m back! So here’s what happened...I watched 5x10 on October 1, never edited my note about it, then ended up taking an inadvertent break from watching until now. Idk why, but i needed a break from like...watching tv i hadn’t seen before. Anyone else have that habit of watching things you’ve already seen when you’re going through an anxious period? Starting a new job in the same month as the 2020 presidential election fit the bill, and i wanted to really immerse myself in the final three episodes of this amazing show properly so i decided to wait until i was feeling it! Anyway to the like three people who enjoy my recaps, i hope you enjoy these last four recaps.

So without further ado, aforementioned Oct 1 recap, now edited and underneath the cut:

5x10 yoooo I have never been so amused by Buddy Garrity in my life + TIM so here we go:

TIM RIGGINS RETURNS?! Yay!!! (This is my reaction just from seeing him in the “previously on.”)

Eric’s getting recruited at a ~fancy~ restaurant! Oh shitttt

“That, right there, marks the end of the East Dillon Lions football program led by Coach Eric Taylor.” “...It’s a crate of oranges.” “Yeah, and it’s from the sunshine state. From Florida! And that can only mean one thing—year round sunshine and college funding.” Lmao alarmist Buddy is hilarious and actually not wrong here. Lol incredulous Levi: “you got all that from a crate of oranges?!”

#OperationGetTimOut!! Is Eric going to speak for him as a character witness?

I *knew* that phone call from Oklahoma Tech wasn’t gonna be good. Ohhhhh Vince you should’ve listened to Eric~~~

Oh shit everyone’s buzzing about “losing their kingmaker” and it’s playoff time! Love a good car radio scene. “So how was it honey, are we moving to Florida?” Lol

“Dad, maybe we should just talk to Coach. I need to be focused on this game on Friday night, getting my spot back.” Yes Vince stand up for yourself, take a break from those meetings! I am fearful of his dad’s true reaction tho.

“Expelling Epyck, that was a good start.” Omfg some of these teachers are too cruel! That is a severely traumatized child, ma’am!

“Impromptu speeches...” “Impromptu means not planned, Buddy.” “Okay, then promptu.” I’M LIVING for these Buddy and Levi interactions omg hilarious.

“A man can’t leave if you erect a statue in his honor.” “A plaque?” “You got money for that?!” I cannot omfgggg Levi and Buddy should take this show on the road!

Tami’s “Oh Levi you are too much.” That’s a nice way to say “fuck you” for making her take a personal day to go speak on a panel he TOLD her she’s speaking at? Smh this is why staff needs unions.

Lmao Buddy is being so extra with Eric, I can’t

...and enter Billy, here to ask Eric a favor...

“Tim Riggins? One of the best fullbacks in the great state of Texas? The boy my girl fell in love with? Yeah I’ll do that.” Damn Buddy has a crush on Tim Riggins too!! I get it dude same.

“I believe in loyalty, Billy. Sticking with your people, through good and bad.” SO EXTRA LMAO

“Hey coach you going to Florida?” “I was planning on going home and I suggest you do too, Tinker.” Ugh poor Eric having to deal with all of these rumors and the team being endlessly curious right before the playoffs!

Awww Tami’s excited about the Florida houses. “Three years with a two year option.” Damn. Aw the way that Eric looks at Tami and you know he wants to give her everything she wants 🥺

Omggg now Buddy is making the players talk up Eric Taylor 😂 his scheming truly kills me

Becky and Luke tossing a football, so precious!

Ah, there’s more to life than college football, Luke! “No one wants me.” “I want you.” Aww Becky.

Aw Billy is getting so frustrated trying to write his speech for Tim. “It sounds ridiculous.” “No it doesn’t. You’re a good brother.” Oh Mindy 🥺 fuck prisonssss he should not feel like his words have so much bearing on his brother’s literal freedom!

Yes to Vince going to Eric and agreeing to earn his way back! That’s the Vince we know and love!

I love Eric telling Tami about Tim’s parole hearing. “You going to do it?” “You bet i’m going to do it.” My heart! The way there’s no question about it 🥺

Andddd Vince’s dad predictably refuses to let up with the recruiters. But this time Vince is standing up to him!

Yesss Vince, walk away! Especially after his dad yelled at him like that; this is not your life, it’s Vince’s!

“Don’t whack her. Just a little love tap.” LMAO Luke, Tinker, Becky, and a pig. Luke is giving Tinker pageant advice for Tinker at a competition with the pig?? I can’t, that’s weirdly so cute. Becky clearly finds it cute.

Omg Tim in his all-white prison uniform I HATE THISSS

OMGGGG “I don’t want Billy to speak, he’s done enough damage.” Fuck this is gonna fuck Billy UP. But also fair...I mean, Billy DOES tend to be a fuck up?? Isn’t that how we got here?

Yessss Tami going off explaining that standardized testing isn’t the end all be all!!

“what would you have us do, meet with every kind in the state?” “Yes I would.” to a round of applause. GO OFF QUEEN TAMI TAYLOR

Yes Coach Taylor! Give us one of your epic speeches!

Poor Tim looks like he has a lot of self hatred sitting here listening to Eric talking about him 🥺

“I asked him to be an assistant coach because of his character off the field.” YES

lol Buddy Garrity getting up to speak even tho he’s not on the list 🤣

“He’s like family to me.” OH BUDDYYYY he’s coming through with a full time job for Tim when he comes out?????? Tim’s smile of relief.

“It’s time for you to let Tim Riggins come home.” YESSSSS

AW Tim sent Eric letters from prison?? My poor babe. “I’m sorry I didn’t visit more.” “I’m sorry I let you down.” “You didn’t and that’s not why I’m here.” IM EMOTIONAL

Holy shit Vince’s dad is STILL not letting up? “I’m your father. I know what’s right.” “that is enough! Get off his back!” “He needs a father, not an agent!” YES REGINA GO OFFFFF she finally snapped!

(It’s wild how Coach possibly leaving is being used in this fight in Vince’s family. Oh, Dillon!)

Oh shit Billy is yelling at both Becky and Mindy, clearly very affected by what Tim said at his parole hearing. “You did everything you could and that makes all the difference.” Aww Mindy, and Billy apologized! Too much stress for such a young family! Also unrelated but Mindy looks mad hot for the athletic banquet.

Awww I love getting to see the other teams stand up. Yeah cross country, yes girls volleyball!!!

Man, playing a sport in Texas that’s not football must suck, look at that insane applause for football vs. weak for everyone else

Buddy giving Gracie a lil t-shirt and saying, “clear eyes, full hearts...you know it?” And they’re all like “can’t...lose” and Gracie giggles! Ok that’s cute af

Omg the tension between Jess and Vince!! “Jess, I miss you. I miss you.” 🥺 aw yeah she blew him off for her brothers

Wow they made it to the playoffs for the first time in 25 years?? Well here comes Buddy’s All Hail Eric Taylor pageant. Lmao

Awww these heartfelt addresses from the team members on how much Eric Taylor has changed their lives??? Manipulative, Buddy, really. He knows what he’s doing.

Yesss Eric, give Tami that massage. See y’all, this is what being a good man looks like.

“It had the desired effect. It sure made you think twice about leaving Dillon.” “It’s a hell of an offer. I’d own that building. They have funding.” “Mmm and oranges. Don’t forget about oranges.” “Mmm that pool.” They wanna leave.

“You know what I want more than anything right now? I wanna bring these boys to state.” “I know you do.” “They deserve it.” “I know they do. But after you do that, this offer is something to think about. Because you deserve that.” Ugh I know I say it a lot but since we’re in the final four episodes now and I’m mostly talking into the void anyway — god, what a model of a wonderful and gentle and loving and communicative marriage! I am continually floored!

Becky with cowboy boots at Luke’s farm works. And ooh Luke’s mom said hi to her?? Progress!!

Aw they’re talking about how pretty they find Luke’s farm as he tries to imagine a future here in Dillon. “I have an amazing imagination. I see your next game, and you’re winning.” Awww Becky is such a cute girlfriend.

What a cute shot of Luke and Becky on the farm, “you ever think you could imagine living on a farm?” “Sure.” AWWW

Vince at Eric’s door on game day?!!! He’s asking Eric not to take the offer to Shane State when he’s supposed to already be at the field house!?!

“Having you as a coach is one of the best things to happen to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you. Either in jail or in a ditch somewhere.” Damn forget Buddy this shit is from the HEART

Eric tells him to get in the damn car and tells him he’s starting!! “You know what your problem is? You ask too many damn questions.”

AHHHHH TIM IS HOME! Showered in a flannel! My heart! He salutes Becky with a beer!

Aww Billy is so excited to have his brother home.

It seems uneasy in the home. Coming back from prison is hard.

And here they go, heading onto the bus with signs and cheers!

“I’ll tell you, this is an away game, but you look around here at the community tonight and the young players that I have playing for me, and the character they got—no matter where this community goes, that’s home.”

Damn Eric just announced he was planning to stay home in Dillon to the press. “you’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” says Tami. “I love you.” and with the FNL theme song playing aghkliyb I’m not ready for the final three episodes ahhh!!!

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x10

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sawycrsfm-blog · 4 years

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°✧｡× : ( jung yoonoh/jaehyun + cis male + he/him ) ─── welcome to roselake village, SAWYER KWON ! oh, well, i suppose you’ve been here for YOUR WHOLE LIFE, so perhaps you already know your way around the town. well, you are the TWENTY-THREE year old FARMER/PART-TIME BARISTA, though, right ? the harvest sprites told me about you ! they said you DO NOT believe in the harvest goddess. oh, my. well, that explains why they also said you’re quite COMPASSIONATE and LOGICAL, but can also be a bit ABRUPT and DISSONANT. either way, you should be a wonderful addition to our island ! i guess i’ll leave you to it now, but if i need you, i suppose i’ll just look for you at SUBTEXT, yeah ? we hope you love it here as much as we do ! oh, and remember not to go into the tulsy woods ! crooked glasses falling down your nose, dog-eared and worn-out books and the smell of coffee never leaving your clothes ! ✧

hiya everyone! i��m ashley and it’s been 84 years.gif since i’ve been in a group so i might be a bit rusty when it comes to everything, sorry lol. anyway i’m bad at talking about myself, so i’ll move onto my farmer babie sawyer who’s kinda Going Through It at the moment but he’s also trying his best. feel free to like this/im me or send me a message on my dis/cord rutilcnt#9814 if you’d like to plot!

edit: i’ll be posting this while i’m at work #rip so i apologize if i can’t get to any messages right away, but like i said feel free to message me on discord or on here!

STATS:

name: sawyer kwon

birthplace: roselake village, maine

birthday: september 17th, 1996

zodiac: virgo

gender: cis male

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: panromantic pansexual

traits: +compassionate, +logical, +benevolent, +independent, -abrupt, -dissonant, -self critical, -resentful

BIOGRAPHY:

sawyer was born and raised in roselake village. he had a fairly normal upbringing - his parents were loving and wanted the best for their son (even if they could be a bit overbearing at times).

he was raised on his large family farm that had been in the family for generations. he actually didn’t hate the work when he was younger, although he preferred working with the animals on the farm rather than the crops lol.

sawyer was known as “the kwons’ kid” in town since almost everyone knew who the kwons were. they often showed up to farmer’s markets and basically had an open door policy on their farm whenever someone was in need.

as the years went on he kind of grew resentful of that title in a way?? he felt people didn’t see who he was and were just like “oh that’s the kwons’ son lol” and he didn’t like that. all of that had a hand in him deciding originally he wasn’t gonna take care of the farm and was gonna get out of roselake to go to college and become a history teacher (he’s a history nerd)

his parents were disappointed at first but supportive once they heard about how well he was doing in school. that…didn’t last long. sawyer really liked school but something went wrong during his sophomore year - even now he’s still not entirely sure what happened. all he knows is that he could barely do his work and felt overwhelmed all the time. it ended in him dropping out of college at the end of his first semester sophomore year.

again, his parents were disappointed but he tried to reassure them he’d be alright. he ended up working odd jobs to keep himself afloat but he wasn’t really sure what he was doing and felt kinda lost.

…until his parents called one day and were like “hey so farming hasn’t been great for a while so we’re moving but we wanted to see if you wanted the house/farm before we sold it” and he was like um. okay???

so now here he is like three months later trying to work with the shell of his family’s farm. all that’s really left is a fairly small area to grow crops, the old greenhouse (which has trouble growing crops due to the harvest goddess peacing out) and like three chickens that he cares way more about than he thought he ever would. he also works at sound & fog part-time a few times a week because he’s not making enough money growing crops.

he’s still kind of ??? about the whole thing because he never really saw himself as a farmer but now here he is. he still wants to be a teacher and he doesn’t know if that’s a reality

also doesn’t believe in the harvest goddess. he did when he was little but he kind of views the whole thing like santa? you believe when you’re little but not when you’re older. he tries to be respectful of people that do believe tho (for the most part)

personality-wise he’s one of those “quiet when you don’t know them but pretty chatty when you do” types. don’t get him going on a topic he’s interested in because this bitch Will Not Shut Up for forty-five minutes.

he’s also pretty chill most of the time? he can get irritated quickly but he usually chills out after a minute or two. he also takes after his parents and can be one of those people that wants to help others.

spends a lot of his free time at subtext (the library) because he’s a book nerd. the librarians probably know his name and his favorite reading spot which he is very embarrassed about but does absolutely nothing to change.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

okay so i have a page for connections here that’s a bit more in-depth but i’ll list out a few basic ones i want, but i’m always open for brainstorming or something different!

best friends!!

roommate?? he probably doesn’t want to be alone in that house ghjk

childhood friends who maybe grew apart

cousins

“bad influence” (someone who gets him to actually go out more than like twice a month)

enemies??

ex partner/fwb for that Angst

unlikely friends

and more i’m probably forgetting

#wisteria.intro #( * ooc. )#this is so unnecessarily long i'm so sorry

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wannawrite · 5 years

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better better 💛 🐻 🍯

너의 그 사랑만이 멈춰있던 날 다시 뛰게 해.

[ Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again. ]

blog navigator!

day6 masterlist

TW: if you squint, there's very mild mentions of child abuse, physical and verbal

↪ group: DAY6

↪ member: Yoon Dowoon

↪ genre: idk its not really fluff either, (IM SORRY ANON IT GETS VERY FLUFFY AT THE END) but its 90 percent angst free LOL ??? this story is too out of the ordinary to categorise lol ☀️

↪ request: hey admin n! can i have a fluffy day6 dowoon scenario where he cheers you up from a bad day in school? thank you!

↪ A/N: I really wanted to write something for Dowoon, thank you so much, anon who requested this!! I somehow thought of the spiritual love I receive everyday from God (I'm christian to all of y'all who dk, haha) so I think this story will hold a special place in my heart!!! also, the story plot is largely inspired by the story by 九把刀 - 等一个人咖啡，so if u understand Chinese please give it a read, its a nice story uwuwuwuuwwu

edit i am SO SORRY THIS WAS WAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE the word count will probably be like idk 8000 by the time i finished this when u requested for a scenario lolz i got way too invested I apologise...I wrote almost everyday for a whole week I regret getting carried away oh my gosh, but I hope you enjoy this, I really worked very hard on this!!!

ps im sorry if jihyo is ooc, never written nor know twice well but id say I'm a fan of their music hehe

______________________________________

It was about 7AM in the morning when all of your batch gathered around at the assembly place in your school, and between occasional yawns that slipped off your mouth (thanks, end of year exams), you and your friends were talking about the happenings of yesterday as you walked there, laughter often breaking out in your little group when there were bits of humour in the story.

You all made your way down the stairs and into the assembly grounds, resembling a large, aquamarine blue quilt that took up an obnoxious part of the school-where the netball competitions and other important events were held.

Seemingly following suit with the shade of blue on the ground, the lack of sun in the morning painted everything with a small hint of lighter, sky blue itself, such that it all looked like one entity but distinctive in its own individual colours.

Realising this with your own dark ringed, half opened eyes, you couldn't help but feel the ends of your lips angle up slowly-the world was so beautiful, you couldn't help but think as you knelt down to sit onto the rugged surface of the big, enveloping area-whoever had created it for all its small but still amazing features was exceptionally genius.

As your eyes scattered around the place, still immersed in a world of your own-a shrill screech of a whistle pulled you back to the boredom of school life, and with a slight, but petty annoyance you shifted your back to face the PE teacher who had just walked over, and subsequently, so did the other students around you.

He stood in front of your whole batch, clad in a black, torso hugging sports shirt and fluorescent pink shorts-which immediately, triggered a few giggles for your batch, but the spoilsport of a whistle just had to ruin the fun again, motioning for everyone else to shut up.

You sighed when you saw the creases in his forehead, and the unmistakeable hint of a frown on his tan, oval face-this was not going to be too good of a day.

You just hoped that he wasn't going to make all of you do 4 rounds around the school today. Running, needlessly to say really was not something a person like you liked to do-sweat all over your face, springing pimples on your face, grasping for breath and literally collapsing in front of the whole class like a dead fish because of how energy deprived you were? You were going to pass, thanks.

"Now, class!" his low baritone rasped out to the class, carrying a strong sense of dominance in it like he was speaking to a platoon in the army, "We have a group of alumni today, coming back to visit and help all of you train for your Physical Education Examinations next year." At that, his outstretched wrists flicked backwards loosely, gesturing for the alumni to come, and he continued again, "They are alumni that were our top students from last year, and did exceptionally well. They have all took time out of their 4 month break after examinations to train all of you, so please be nice, and don't be so unruly."

As soon as he had said that, the class started breaking out into applause as the five students stepped into everyone's field of vision.

Your eyes widened when you saw the bones, standing out like rocks in the their toned, fit arm and leg muscles-even the girls' thighs that was supposedly, the most unattractive part of everyone's body had 'walls' lining their lean, hourglass figure. Confident smiles were plastered to most of their faces, with a few tired exceptions-heck, one even had a smirk playing on their face as he scanned the class below him.

Inwardly, as you heard the laughs of the alumni that had aroused from the awing of their juniors below them, you couldn't help but shudder inside-there was no, freaking way that you were going to look like that after training with them.

You didn't want to, anyway-that meant rigorous hours of training and stitches 'basking' under the unhelpful, boiling cover of the sun.

Just then, as you were contemplating the choices of schools you were going to transfer to to abstain from the torture that was soon to come, the guy with the playful smirk on his face had already grabbed a microphone, and was preparing to speak. Translucent frames for glasses hid his small, almost demure but yet somehow condescending eyes-you weren't getting that great of a vibe from him.

"Hello, Class 3D9, I am your senior, Park Jaehyung, and I'm here to train all of you for the exams, since all of you don't seem that excited for it, judging by your expressions." His features softened considerably from a look of mirth to one of gaiety as he started to speak in a 'half air half voice' kind of way-rasping yet not quite, and you rolled your eyes.

It wasn't really that you disliked him much, but you could already picture him being the heartthrob of the girls in class-the gleam in their previously irritant, but now smitten eyes was so undeniably revolting.

They all nodded furiously at the last sentence, and he began to laugh a bit (attracting more squeals from the girls, much to your dismay) before speaking again, this time with the narrow of an eyebrow and a more serious, raised voice. "I know all of you might be thinking that this is very pointless, and stupid. I know. None of you really want to be an athlete in the future, and I understand. But I really hope all of you can treat this seriously, because health in the long run is really very important, and I want all of you to take not only the PE finals but the entrance exam to college confidently, and healthily. Are all of you with me?"

Like how any motivational speaker would have done, there was an applied pressure at the last line, and soon, a long, unenthusiastic 'yes' drawled out of everyone's barely parted mouth.

You snickered a bit at the frown on Jaehyung's face when he heard it-he really should have known beforehand, that encouraging a class didn't consist of just one pathetic speech, and you started to doubt if he had really been from this school.

Let's face it, motivation really wasn't this generation's thing.

"Are all of you with me!" he rasped again, this time yelling into the microphone obnoxiously and poking a hole in your eardrums.

"YES!" the class shouted with increased volume to appease him.

Just please, don't shout into the microphone again, you whimpered inwardly.

At this, Jaehyung looked more or less satisfied (thank God), and with the small hint of a smile, he passed over the microphone to another guy, whose eyes first caught your own. They were delicately angled into the eyes of a fox, emanating a half elegant aura that still seemed to hint 'Let's have fun, everyone!' They fell into small crescents when he started to laugh at Jaehyung's incapabilities to lead the class, and the circles in his lean, rosy cheek bones spelt attractiveness at its finest.

With a sweet smile on his face, he held up the microphone to his mouth and started to talk. "Morning, class! Sorry if Jaehyung sounds like a bit of a drag. I know he has that student leader aura, but you can't blame him, he's always been burying his face in a book during recess-HEY!" The class, including him, started to erupt into waves of giggles when Jaehyung flicked his forehead, a faux anger playing on his arched eyebrows and widened, now not so small eyes. "FINE, fine, I'll stop! Anyway, hello Class 3D9, this is your cooler senior, Kang Younghyun, and I hope to train all of you to success in the exams. Thank you!" Younghyun proceeded to bow with the shy lift of his eyebrows, and everyone clapped.

"His real name is actually Brian, please ignore him." Jaehyung added in with a wink, earning a loud slap on the shoulder from Younghyun (with a subsequent yelp from himself) and more laughter from the juniors, yourself included. Your seniors seemed pretty chill and friendly, not like how you thought they would be.

But sadly, as they were supposedly goofing around too much, the PE teacher blew that stupid, ear-wrenching whistle of his, causing you to jump up in shock again. "Okay boys, lets finish this up quickly." he said curtly, strict gaze fleeting past the two boys and causing their playful charm to melt like ice in front of him.

As Jaehyung and Younghyun simultaneously did a long, 90 degree bow, mouthing 'sorry' repeatedly, you and quite a good majority of your other classmates sighed, inwardly feeling a tad deflated-looks like the rest of the introduction wasn't going to be that fun after all.

The introduction seemed to move past like rusted cogs, at least for just one part of it-the first girl who had greeted all of you sported two round, neat buns at the sides of her hair, complimenting her big, double lidded eyes and her elegantly curved, brightly smiling lips. The corners of her eyes bore a small fragment of the brighter sky above her, gleaming with confidence as she bowed politely, introducing herself to everyone in a more reserved way than the other two. Her name was Park Jihyo, and she had been in dance-which was quite a great feat, since dance was a niche co-curricular activity in your school, but not surprising at the same time, looking at her beautiful figure and slender, well toned arms.

As she talked, she slipped a few jokes there and then mid-conversation, not too much that the PE teacher had to cut in, but attempting to keep the class' attention on her afloat. Jihyo had an unmistakeable pleasant aura that seemed to infect everyone with her laugh, and from the bottom of your heart, you really wanted to befriend her-someone approachable and easy to talk to.

There was another girl next to her who was called Chaewon, with demure, yet youthful brown eyes and a serene smile. Similarly, she too was very friendly and talked with a very laid-back tone-but the problem was, that she talked a lot.

You didn't really mind it much when people talked a lot, but when they overdid it, it got kind of...boring.

Seemingly one hour later, your eyes struggled to remain parted mid-sentence as she went into a trite monologue about how grateful she was to stand here. By the time she was done you felt fatigue wrap around your head like a snake, till a deeper voice was suddenly amplified into the mic.

"H-Hello, I'm Yoon Dowoon, and-"

"I ate ants as a kindergartener." Jaehyung's unmistakeable airy voice cut in annoyingly, causing Dowoon's face to flush a big, rosy red whilst all of you chortled with a louder, more extreme laughter than before-and instantly, you became alive again as the mental image of a small boy swallowing the poor insect with the brightest smile sent you rolling onto the floor.

"He even gave a whole box to his teacher." came a rather unhelpful snicker from Younghyun, further fuelling the laughter and the blush on Dowoon's face.

You couldn't help but admit, that he was sort of cute when he was embarrassed, though-Dowoon had the small, but believing eyes of a child, with two pretty, but not 'big enough that it protruded' kind of bags attached below them delicately. The gentle up curve of the sides of his big button nose was really attractive, and he had semi-big lips that pouted out like the small petals of a daisy.

Seeing Jaehyung's joking, almost condescending smirk resurface onto his face and look down onto Dowoon's expressionless eyes, which now refused to concentrate on anywhere but the floor was maybe, just maybe-sort of sad.

Unlike Jihyo, you couldn't see even a small fragment of the sky in his eyes-it was as if someone had just painted his eyes brown and decided it would stay that way for the rest of the day.

Dowoon was too embarrassed to do anything else, and without even looking up, he passed the microphone to the PE teacher, whose nonchalant expressions didn't seem to care much either.

Inside, a pang of guilt rose up to your chest, and you unconsciously started to frown along with him as you noticed how uncomfortable his hardened features had looked, amongst all the giggles thrusting through his gentle heart.

Being known by 'the guy who ate ants as a kindergartener' to everyone, instead of who he really was mustn't have been a very nice feeling, especially to his juniors-who was supposed to look at him as a superior and a leader figure.

Just as you were debating on whether or not to ask them to stop, a scream broke out through the assembly grounds, shutting everyone up with a magic swipe of its hand.

Of course, it had to be the stupid whistle.

"Are we here to joke, or train? Get up, all of you! We're going to run today." the PE teacher's obnoxiously booming, demanding voice rang into everyone's ears unpleasantly, the catalyst to the small groans of dismay breaking out amidst the class that was already preparing to stand and walk to the field.

"Can you believe he actually did that?" your friends approached you in a fit of giggles as all of you approached the running track, with a new topic to revolve your conversation around.

Just that, this time, you didn't really want to join in.

It wasn't the best of days after all, you thought with a small hang up in the side of your chest. Out of all things, after seeing a poor boy getting bullied by his own friends, you had to do the stupid 4 rounds that all of you did practically every week.

As you braced yourself painfully for the sweating and fatigue that was to come, taking your rightful place behind the white tape attached to the floor marking the starting point- an unusually low cough brushed by your ears briefly, and instinctively, you whirled around.

You saw the big, believing eyes of a child again as you did so-it was Dowoon, and to your surprise, those eyes noticed your gaze and looked back.

Crap, he's really, very cute. you could feel your head lose some of its gravity and your heartbeat accelerating as he proceeded to smile after, the lift of his plump, daisy lips showing off his round, marshmallow-like cheeks.

"You okay?" his deep voice asked you gently, and you nodded with a small laugh, realising how much of a mess you must have looked in front of him for him to ask such a question.

"I should be the one asking you that. I'm sorry for laughing at you earlier."

With that, his smile angled further into a laugh of his own, and Dowoon replied, "It's okay. I'm used to it already."

You could already feel your forehead crease in slight disbelief, as you stared at the sheepish falter in his smile and recalled how unhappy he was earlier on.

"That's not true-"

BEEP!

The PE teacher's whistle had already gone off, and Dowoon, much to a top runner's expectations, was already speeding far ahead of you with a steady, confident pace as his brown curls bounced gently under the force of his movements.

Looking at nowhere but the front, he looked determined to finish what he had started-something you could probably only dream of having.

"What's taking you so long? Hurry up!" the PE teacher yelled at you, averting your attention away from your senior and back to your miserable plight.

You sighed with a slightly defeated energy, giving him a perfunctory nod as you too, began to move towards the finish line.

That is, if you could even make it.

As you ran, you made a mental note to never use that stupid whistle ever again.

________________________________________________

31st December, 2018.

"Se-second place in class? No way, you must have heard wrongly. Second place girls-wise, maybe..." you insisted disbelievingly, feeling the air brush against your throat as you inhaled sharply, hardly able to fathom the news that had just been broken to you.

Contrary to what your stubborn mentality refused to accept, your deskmate Sungjin just nodded again, the smile on his face laced with a small hint of amusement-he too, probably foresaw that you wouldn't believe such a thing.

"I'm serious, man. It came as a shock to everyone yesterday as well." he said, hiding a gentle, but knowing giggle in 'serious'. "You really have Dowoon to thank, look at you go."

You stared at the suggestive crease in Sungjin's big, pretty eyes, not bothering to hide the sarcasm dripping from your smile (very well knowing that someone like Sungjin was capable of playing such pranks on you).

"And where can I get more reliable information?" you demanded, refusing to tear away your gaze from his, and noticing the added pressure in 'reliable', Sungjin couldn't help but break into a more relaxed smile as he lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, go see for yourself, just don't hit me, please."

He pointed a finger at the notice board, littered with numerous sheets of construction paper from all the projects your class had been assigned this year, almost like a peacock's feathers unfolding.

However, there was one paper that stood out from the rest, dull, white and boring-but maybe not so, once the truth was revealed.

In big, bold letters, it spelt:

PHYSICAL EDUCATION EXAMINATION RESULTS: CLASS 3D9.

The thought of knowing your results had thrown all thoughts of replying to Sungjin out of the window as you could hear the squeak of your shoe soles speed across the classroom towards the notice board.

Frantically, as the long table of students revealed a clearer picture of itself to you, you decided on looking at all the names from the bottom to the top-no better way to set yourself up for disappointment than to face it sooner.

It had been a while of panning up, and your squatting legs were getting tired; though knowing full well that you looked the part of an idiot while doing all this. You couldn't find your name anywhere on the board, and as your legs slowly broke its position to ascend further, the anxiety in your chest seemed to rise along with it-what if you had done so bad a job, you couldn't even get a position?

What if Dowoon had seen it and would never talk to you ever again? What would your parents say when they knew...

Just as your imagination was trailing all the way off from your real goal, the truth imprinted in cold, black ink debunked all of the scenarios in your head.

Your name was right next to the position, second place.

"So you weren't lying!" was the first thing you did as you shouted out of instinct from the opposite position of the classroom. As many other students turned their heads to you in slight frustration, you could hear Sungjin's sniggers direct back at you in response, which was yeah, albeit sort of annoying-but nothing could really smother the joy you were feeling at this moment.

Your eyes lingered for a long time onto the placing that you had gotten, and you recalled all of Dowoon's practice sessions with you-how he had drawn out almost 90% of his 4 month break just to train with you after school, how you had nearly tripped over a hurdle on the running track and causing both of you to laugh, how he had made you draw out a meal plan for him to monitor your food intake everyday-you'd never thought you'd say this, but you really, really missed it.

As you thought back to the believing eyes of a small child, looking up at the boundless sea of a sky-the clouds floating past resembling well his sweat glazed cheeks, you realised-how much you'd miss his presence that pushed forward, reaching out to the you who couldn't be bothered with most things, his care that reached out to the you who didn't care for yourself-not necessarily in a romantic way.

The thought of getting Dowoon's number had very stupidly, slipped off your mind amidst all the joy he had brought you, and your good mood was surprisingly diminished by a small tinge of guilt as you returned to your desk.

You regretted it. A lot.

"All those training sessions with her partner must have helped a lot, huh? The one who ate ants in kindergarten, I have to laugh." Suddenly, the silent, but tangible hiss of a group of girls fluttered past your ears, and without thinking, a small sense of anger blazed up in your heart as you stood up with a jolt.

How dare they say such a thing about such an amazing person.

Your chair did a loud, ugly screech against the floor as it happened, and the girls looked to you, slightly perplexed-that was, until you grabbed onto their wrists, and locked eyes with them-with a fire in your eyes that you yourself hadn't recognised.

"Don't talk about your senior like that." you deadpanned, with the motivation of anger that had backed you up well.

Just then, you noticed the arch of your eyebrows, and the anger in your movements reflected in their cowardly gazes, and for a second, you wondered-if the you that was acting like this, was really you.

"Sorry." was all they could manage awkwardly, a sheepish, yet somehow insincere smile dripping from their lips as they slipped away to their own desks-people nowadays just loved to talk about others behind their backs, and you sighed.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck in a rut run again.

_____________________________________________________________

"You got second place in the finals? Okay. Well, good for you, but I don't think you'd come to me just for that." the PE teacher slurred his words sharply, suddenly looking up at you from the bend of his glasses with a dull expression in his eyes. He seemed way more fascinated in the papers lulled over by his wrists than your dumb questions, and in all honesty, it was getting sort of annoying.

The lazy whirr of the fan spun over your head, fitting perfectly into the awkward silence between you and the teacher as you twiddled your thumbs awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to paraphrase such a stupid request-not daring to meet his steely gaze that somehow, stubbornly refused to tear away from yours.

He was right, however; the last thing you'd ever do was to go into the lion's den without an ulterior motive.

No one really dared to talk to the PE teacher about anything else besides school.

Plus, you could already imagine all the worst case scenarios if he was in a particularly bad mood today, and...let's just say that detention would potentially be the second best option.

He really wasn't the best person to talk to.

But in this case...

You looked up at the spinning blades of the fan again, and felt the swirl of cool air blow through your hair gently.

Maybe he was.

At such a comforting touch, you tried your best to ignore the pounding headache dragging you down; and with painstakingly mustered courage, you spoke.

"T-Teacher, do you have Dowoon's number? Like, the one who was our senior?"

Regret kicked in the second you had spoke of Dowoon's name, and you could literally feel your temples and limbs lose all sense of gravity as your reputation crashed to the floor. You could feel your heartbeat go into allegro, pounding onto every organ in your body as the PE teacher looked up with the most unreadable expression on his face.

Sweat emitted disgustingly from your scalp as your chest rose and fell back in waves, failing terribly to compose yourself. This is it, you dreaded your indelible fate that was to come as the PE teacher raised his eyebrows-you were barely standing up already, and you could feel your kneecaps wobble unhelpfully under the tendrils of anxiety.

I'm doomed for life, Dowoon's gonna think I'm a stalker, and-

"Hahahaha."

Laughter rolled out in the depth of that intimidating voice, like coffee spilt over a cleanly lacquered table.

You felt your eyes widen as you looked up at the teacher again, still grasping for breath as your heart refused to stop beating-after all, collapsing on the spot seemed like the best path in such an awkward situation.

Especially when he looked at you with amusement twinkling in the corners of his slit-shaped eyes.

"So, what next? You're asking, me? To help you with your half baked attempt of asking a senior out on a date?" he snarled sarcastically, getting out of his seat and approaching you. The corners of his mouth tugged at a smirk, baring his set of sharp teeth; the jaws of a wolf, that spelt warning at its finest, and in all your shock, you recoiled back.

You didn't think this was how it would end up; no, not like this.

Just then, you felt a hand arrest your wrists tightly, digging holes in your skin.

The pain from the wolf's claws amplified your vocal cords as you screamed, causing all the other teachers out there to look at you from their desks, and inside, you wanted to cry; you had never been humiliated so bad in your entire life.

"In your dreams."

Just like that, with the help of a brute force you were mercilessly thrown out of the staff room, and before you could even put a foot on the floor to stabilise yourself you heard a loud bang behind you-followed by the even more painful sound of the lock seizing the entrance of it.

You got up, slightly blank, slightly hollow, slightly lost-as you walked a bit further, heart feeling heavy with all the baggage in your chest-before the feelings got hold of your throat, and tumbled out through your eyes unashamedly.

You were way too sad to hide any further.

Pathetically, to do all you could to mask the feelings that had crept up onto you, through the not so fair play of fate; you held a wrist to your face as you sprinted back to class, with a scar zipped across it, just as it had done for your broken heart.

__________________________________________

"I'm sorry for what happened today...but I'm happy that senior was able to bring you so far." he barely managed, with his smooth, soft voice that seemed to skim lightly over the atmosphere of the café; just like the soft cream that had been drizzled meticulously over the cup of coffee on the table.

You weren't taking it, the coffee that he had made for you not too long ago. Not really that you had anything against him, no-definitely not your caring, gentle coworker, but you didn't really have the mood to drink anything as of now...You sighed briefly, dusting your apron to keep yourself preoccupied, but still not managing to let off all the steam in your body.

The incident had very admittedly, left you scarred; very literally and mentally. Leftover embarrassment was still tugging at the corners of your heart, begging to be attended to while you tried your best to shrug it off, and walked to the counter to unlock the cashier; the cheery ring of the bell above the door had struck at a rather unconventional time, and a customer was already walking in.

It wasn't very fair that they'd have to put up with your emotional baggage when they were here to get a drink, maybe even to destress and wind down for the day.

"Pil-ah, it's okay, I don't really want a drink as of now." you played it off as calmly as you could, slotting the key into the box and letting it slide open with a click. "You can drink it or something, you don't look too energised yourself."

A disappointed whine echoed back in response to your lousy excuse; there was no way Wonpil was going to believe such a stupid reply, and you could already anticipate his nagging voice as he opened his mouth.

"Heyyyyy, come on...don't be like this, I've known you for so long already. You've got to take care of yourself, even when you're sad."

The last line got you hard, and as you saw the customer's eyes widen in judgement behind her mop of ashy bangs, you couldn't help but glare back at him.

"Wonpil, I said I was okay." you deadpanned with added pressure, however, subsequently feeling guilt crawling onto your nerves after realising how mean that had sounded. His features had softened considerably, with a slightly hurt look in his big, innocent eyes, and you didn't really want to hurt anyone else when you yourself had been hurt enough.

"I'm sorry, just-I'm tired from today." you sighed helplessly, having been pushed into a corner, and being his understanding self, Wonpil nodded back with concern laced in his seemingly nonchalant smile.

After making sure everything was more or less alright, you hastily attended back to the customer, who was looking slightly frustrated with how long you were taking-and after she had ordered her iced americano, she looked a little more satisfied as she took a seat by the table nearest to the window.

It wasn't surprising; the weather today was warm. Lances of golden sunlight had dropped by the café, gracing its interior in its crisp, evening glow, and very miserably, laughing at your bad mood that contrasted with it.

"Are you okay now?"

You turned around to see Wonpil, eyebrows raised, hands rested in the pockets of his apron; and a rare, but serious look in his eyes as he prepared to listen to you.

As much as you didn't want him to worry over you, you knew how stubbornly insistent he was with getting things off your chest, so nevertheless, you opened your mouth-wondering what you had done to deserve his grace at the back of your mind.

"I-It's nothing really, it's just-" you exhaled, breaking into a nervous box smile as you ran a hand through your hair, barely having the right state of mind to continue, "I really wanted to thank him for his kindness and how he cared for my growth so selflessly, but apart from being so embarrassed by the teacher, not being able to do that anymore-it makes me feel so, so bad, knowing that I was never able to do anything for him, because I really, really miss him, and-"

"Don't say anymore. I understand."

You felt Wonpil's hand descend onto your back, like the touch of a small, but pretty little butterfly as it fluttered over the expanse of your spine, caressing it gently and hushing your shaking nerves.

All the thoughts had miserably, coaxed your feelings forward, and without knowing, you had started to cry again as you held your palms to your face-trying your best not to cry too loudly as you let out small, uncontrollable sobs.

"T-Thank you so much." you choked awkwardly, not knowing any better way to express your gratitude, and even in the darkness of your closed eyes, you could already picture Wonpil's relaxed, comforting smile playing on the sides of his face as he chuckled softly.

Just then, a cough cut in, putting a halt to your sobs and causing both of you to turn to the customer.

"Um...I'm sorry to interrupt this moment, but can I have three iced lattes? Please?" he said, carrying a half air, half voice tone-and with the guidance of your instinct your head immediately shot up from your palms.

There was only one person you knew with such a voice-the one you heard when you had first met the school alumni.

"P-Park Jaehyung?" you yelled instinctively, and your own eyes revealed the truth to you quickly-lean, rosy cheeks, big lips, small, droopy eyes, that were now widened into large circles as they stared back at you, with equally as much surprise in his gaze.

"Ohhhhh my! Y-You're the junior that trained with Dowoon a lot, right?" In his hearty voice, he exclaimed almost disbelievingly, but causing you to blush furiously; it was rather weird being so closely associated with him. "And hey, don't be rude-how dare you call a senior by their full name." he added on teasingly, and both of you laughed.

"I think I'll make the drinks for today-you definitely need to catch up with him, someone might be there waiting for you." Wonpil's voice said behind you understandingly, and you said a quick thank you with a smile before walking over to Jaehyung's seat.

"Oh, sorry for my impoliteness, Your Highness, Park Jaehyung, my queen-does this make it better now?" you retorted quickly, with a cheeky smirk on your face and triggering a gasp from him.

"Excuse me? Your audacity? Oh, and by that guy's sound, you sound like you're only here to see Dowoon, how sad-he isn't here, because I'm the most significant out of everyone there." he snickered back, laughing even harder when you stuck out your tongue back at him pettily-but to your surprise, it didn't last very long.

"Jaehyungie-hyung, don't be so mean! I'm here, hi! I haven't seen you in so long, are you doing okay?" a deep voice exclaimed, causing your jaw to drop even further, if that was even possible-and your feelings seemed to arrest all the air in your chest, just for a second-when you once again, saw the big, believing eyes of a child and his kind, untainted smile.

It was the boy that had spent countless hours under the sun, pushing you towards your goals endlessly.

It wasn't just any person, a random school alumni that had came to their transit stop for a while to leave again-it was Dowoon, Yoon Dowoon, of all people that you could have seen on that miserable day of yours.

It seemed almost intangible, yet so palpable as you ran to him, calling his name, as your hands managed to even hug his taller figure again-you could have nearly cried when you felt his bigger palm crash against your back with sincerity, and while you heard Dowoon's deep voice roll out a long string of laughter, commenting jokingly, "Man, I never knew a girl would miss me so much," you sort of wanted to smack him-yet was definitely in awe of the fact that you could hear that laughter again.

You'd never think that you would have heard it ever again.

"Shut up, I'm just here because you got me a second place position in running, loser." you giggled it off coolly, but failing terribly to hide the happiness stupidly written all over your face as Dowoon's smile angled up further, wearing his pride proudly on his sleeve as he gave you a high five.

"Really? Oh my gosh, that's so amazing! I'm so proud of my student." he laughed, childlike eyes widening in happiness and amplifying his innocence. "You deserve it man, you trained so hard for the test-definitely more commitment than I think you would have had."

"Ow, thanks a lot for the last comment, jeez, alright, I know I suck." you jutted out your lips in faux sadness, clutching your heart to your chest-but quickly remembering why you were so happy to see him again, you hastily added, "But thanks anyway, for guiding me. Couldn't have done it without you, taking so much time off your break."

There. I finally said it, you thought happily, allowing yourself a small grin when Dowoon rejected your praises quickly, hurriedly saying, "No, no, I didn't really do anything," and starting to ramble on about how you had done so much more to deserve it-his eyes got even bigger when he was in slight shock, and he looked the part of a small, innocent child more than ever.

"And oh, right." Dowoon suddenly spoke up amidst the topic of running, grabbing your attention. You couldn't help but giggle when he was about to open his mouth to speak, but instead-shut it again and started tugging the edges of his hair, mouthing things to himself with eyes squeezed together tightly-probably a long string of Jaehyung's 'motivational quotes.

A part of your heart fluttered at the purity his very being exuded-he was really, very cute.

But in all your mirth, you couldn't help it-you absolutely had to smack him.

"Yoon Dowoon, hurry up!" you snapped quickly, however with a cheeky smile that showed your real intentions. Dowoon was momentarily taken aback-but his features quickly softened after, when he realised you were joking.

"Sorry for being such a big mess, it's just..." he barely smiled softly, breaking out into further nervous laughter when Jaehyung and Younghyun started to beat his back repeatedly.

"Do you want to go out with us today? We're going to my place further out from the city, and uh...we're setting off fireworks and having a picnic around there and playing our instruments and stuff-" There was probably going to be no end to his rambling if Younghyun hadn't gave him a loud slap on his back-at this point, the creases in his eyes and sheepish box smile showed it all; he was incredibly, incredibly flustered, and to your dismay-also incredibly endearing.

But still, you couldn't miss grabbing the opportunity to tease him. You lifted your lips into a smirk, rocking your shoes against the foot of the table as you cooed, "Aww, is my senior asking me out on a date? I'd love to go with you, aww, Dowoonie..." Everyone in the place, yes, including that grumpy female customer; broke into fits of giggles, raising the atmosphere of the previously still, 'cultured' public place as you chased after Dowoon, who was currently running away from you and ducked his head to hide under the table.

"Haha, why are you genuinely scared? I was only joking, you're so adorable." you grinned cheekily as you saw the blush dancing above his round, squishy cheeks and the embarrassment in his semi opened eyes, "I'll come with you. It's quite timely as well, since I've had quite a bad day at school...You know what, I'll say later. I gotta finish my shift first, Wonpil can't possibly do everything for me." you quickly added when you saw his eyebrows widen in slight concern, and with a good-natured, outstretched wrist you helped Dowoon up from the table; who was quick to stick out his tongue when he saw that Jaehyung and Younghyun were still unable to contain the mirth written across their faces.

"So, I'll see you at 7 then?" he smiled awkwardly, trying his best to ignore them, and you nodded back eagerly as you walked him out of the shop, and into the embrace of the outdoors again.

It seemed so coincidental, that even as Jaehyung and Younghyun had simultaneously tagged along behind the two of you and out into the open, the sun was only blazing through the gaps in Dowoon's curls-girdling the ridges of his shoulders, slicing through the sides of his face and oozing into the crevices of his warm, faith-filled eyes.

You smiled.

The world was so beautiful.

"See you later! Don't miss me too much!" you yelled out to Dowoon jokingly, as he and the other boys got into the small scooters they shared-and after he had yelled back with equal gusto, "Back at you!", the three scooters sped in the other direction; hopefully, anticipating the time where they came back the other way again, because you sure were.

_____________________________

unknown: It's 7 lol have you ended your shift yet?

you: Yeah I have! Are you Dowoon or...?

unknown: No I'm Brian #sike

unknown: Please ignore that, Jaehyungie-hyung took my phone, I don't know what he's doing with his weird hashtags again TTTTTTTTT

you: HAHAHAHA TELL HIM HE SUCKS

you: It's nice to have your number though...it sucked not being able to contact you :( How did you get it anyway?

Dowoon: Yeah hhhh Wonpil told me earlier :) I didn't think you would mind...so

you: Haha of course not! Anyway, are you on the way?

Dowoon: Wouldn't dare to be late, I'm already here hehe ^^

Your head shot up with excitement, nearly screaming as you saw three headlights blaze at you, from the curtain of darkness that had shrouded the city not too long ago. It was around autumn right about now, and you were rather sensitive to the cold-so seeing their warm presence was quite comforting.

Noticing that you were already hanging up your apron and practically bouncing to the kitchen to clean up, Wonpil couldn't help but throw a good-natured laugh at you. "Someone's excited for their first date." he remarked suggestively, cleaning the used table under the illumination of the light bulb hanging above him, and if it wasn't for the distance between both of you you would have probably kicked him in response.

"Shut uuuuup, there's literally 2 other boys goiiiiing." you whined, taking one of the leftover plates scattered across the sink and soaping it,"-The chances of you and I dating just about now is probably way higher than Dowoon...well, at least, I've known you for about a year plus right now, and him, 6 months at most." Wonpil couldn't help but giggle again at the uncertainty in your voice, and pettily, you stamped your feet on the floor.

"There's no way my future partner will be someone as mean as you, I take all my words back." you pouted jokingly, and subsequently, starting to laugh at yourself too-this conversation was going absolutely nowhere.

"Hey, but in all seriousness, I think you should just go. Don't make them wait too long, after all, one of them is your future boyfriend. I'll take care of wrapping up." Wonpil spoke up again, approaching you as he hung the cloth by the arch of the sink, and took the plate from your hand kindly-gesturing for you to wash your hands as he pointed to the tap.

With unmasked gratitude you smiled back at him, washing your hands briefly before taking your phone from the counter, "Thanks again, Pil-ah; and one more freaking thing, before I have to repeat it a second time, there is no way Dowoon is going to be my boyfriend." you remarked strictly, taking your school bag from the seat close to the door and slinging it over your shoulder excitedly-the events of tonight sounded incredibly fun.

"Thank me by inviting me to your future wedding!" Wonpil screamed in his high pitched voice when you opened the door, with the silvery chime of the bell above it-and this time, you really, really wanted to kick him, because outside, in the cold of the night Jaehyung was literally having the time of his life laughing at you and nodding back to Wonpil in agreement (one of the rare times where he actually sided him).

"Boys suck." you groaned pettily as Dowoon, with unmistakeable redness on his face gestured for you to get onto the back of his scooter, and Younghyun laughed.

"Doesn't seem that way with our Dowoonie, am I right?" his unmistakeable fox eyes shot you a small wink, which was sort of annoying-till he yelled smugly, "Good luck on being the first there with extra baggage! Not like anyone ever manages to triumph me anyway."

With that, Younghyun's scooter whizzed off, black coat and black locks fluttering behind him care freely, like how his very personality was-and soon, Jaehyung's scooter whizzed off too, the only thing behind him being his screams of "I'm GONNA BEAT YOU THIS TIME, BRIAN!", and you couldn't help but giggle a bit-the antics of those two were always so stupidly humouring.

"Sorry, they can be a bit of a public embarrassment." Dowoon laughed helplessly, shaking his head, and with a small smile you too shook your head; you were totally fine with them, and you'd even say that having them around was enjoyable. "-Jihyo and Chaewon are actually joining us later, but they weren't comfortable on the scooter, and we need someone to drive our instruments."

He paused for a bit to catch his breath, expelling a small puff of white before explaining, "I hope you're okay with it too-the scooter can feel very unbalanced at first, but I think you can handle it. This sounds incredibly awkward, but you gotta hold onto my waist, or you'll probably fall off within a second of me accelerating. Alright? Don't want to be responsible for your medical fees." Dowoon ended off with a joking crease in his smirk before he tossed you a neon yellow helmet from the basket of the scooter, and you nodded before putting it on.

He thrusted the key into the slot rather vigorously, and soon there was a dull roar from the engine behind you, and at his command, you awkwardly positioned your hands at his waist area. Admittedly, it felt pretty good, however-the coat that hugged his waist was made of soft, thick brown fabric, and it reminded you of your honey scented sheets back at home.

"Ready to ride?" he suddenly piped up, happiness laced in his deep, comforting voice, and you shot him a thumbs up sign.

"Always ready." you answered eagerly, and with a louder roar from the engine than before, both of you sped out towards the moon, that lay on the horizon of the shimmering sea.

________________________

You felt like you were riding on the brim of a cloud as the wind zipped through your hair and your jacket, starting to take flight and flutter violently behind you like kites in the sky. The feeling of being so close to land, yet so far up into the sky was so indescribable-gravity accelerated the thrill in your heart as Dowoon let out a long, unceremonious scream, cheering for the destination that wasn't too far from where you were.

"We're almost here!" he broke into a small gummy smile beneath the mop of his fluttering curls-they seemed to run across the border of his forehead, like running waves crashing beautifully onto the shore of a beach.

However, contrary to your imagination, the river that surrounded all of you in its big embrace was especially quiet-only letting small dribbles of light from the lighthouse float gently above the surface of the waves as both of you moved past, like bioluminescent lily pads that had descended from the glow of the moon. Mountains foreshadowed the road ahead mysteriously, painted in a darker shade of navy than the star speckled-sky above both of you, and the road to the picnic area was long and windy, snaking out into a canopy of trees relaxedly.

"You'd never get anything like this in the city." you said in slight awe, hands slowly finding themselves crawling up to Dowoon's broad shoulders as you dared to hoist yourself up, breaking up from your posture a tad bit, and as you felt one of his curls brush past your wrists, he laughed his slow, deep laugh in response.

"You're cute. I had a friend that didn't live in Busan as a kid, and he lived in the more country area-he would probably protest if he heard what you just said..." His deep voice trailed off softly, seeming to follow the snaking nature of the concrete road ahead of you. "-Nevertheless, I'm happy we're here. It's nice to ride out here with someone."

His eyes, which had now stopped displaying the light of the sun to catch the glow of the moon, was still as warm as ever in the cold weather. With undeniable faith tinting the light that ringed his eyes, half opened submissively and bringing out the semi rosy tint in his bags, the carefree smile on his lips and the uplift of his cheeks resembling floating clouds didn't fail to bring you back in awe again; it was as if all laws of astronomy tailed after his presence, and followed in the footsteps of his unbreakable belief.

"You're really very beautiful." the words left your lips through an airy whisper, and you were too busy staring at him again to even notice what you said until Dowoon spoke up again.

"U-Um...Me? R-Really? Thanks, I guess..." his eyes bore a different spark to it as they drooped shyly, like a mimosa recoiling at someone's touch-and as the truth dawned onto you slowly, mixed feelings of embarrassment and self-blame kicked in a little too fast-you really, really wanted to kick yourself for saying that.

Trying to salvage the situation, you quickly spoke up upon seeing his tilted eyebrows and the embarrassment written on his face. "I-I didn't mean that in a weird way, I'm sorry, not that I don't love your looks-or not that I don't love you any less, i-it's just-" you stuttered awkwardly, brain stupidly failing you at this crucial moment-but being a nice guy, Dowoon just shook his head briefly.

With a small smile breaking onto his face, not fully suggestive; yet not fully chaste, he responded in awe, big eyes widening with more faith than before.

"No, no, please don't apologise, because..." Dowoon spoke with the smile of reuniting with someone again, overly excited to articulate his words properly, "B-Because, I-"

"Dowoon! What's taking you so long, can you drive faster? You're almost there already, hurry up!" Jaehyung's voice suddenly broke through the world that only both of you shared, halting the climax of the story. He and Younghyun were on a higher end of a cliff, where the destination was, and you could already see their hands waving vigorously in your direction. Jihyo and Chaewon had arrived too-you could see two figures with long hair sit on a big red mat.

"What was that you were going to say?" you asked, as the scooter started to move again; both of you had been so immersed in conversation that you hadn't even realised that Dowoon stopped the vehicle to talk.

However, contrary to what you thought he was going to say, Dowoon shook his head almost nonchalantly, losing a bit of the faith in his gaze as he looked down with baggy eyes of dejection.

He squeezed his lips into a textbook version of a smile and talked at a slower pace, this time more scarily composed than before. "I-It's nothing. I don't know if I'll have the courage to tell you again."

The entire trip to the cliff went downhill in a veil of awkward silence, both of you knowing full well in your hearts why such a thing had happened. Wind rocketed past your ears silently, blowing against your ears and hitting against your hair-as if coaxing you to speak, but right now, you didn't know if you had the courage to say anything to him when you had made him sad.

In less than a minute, the scooter had surfaced up the flatter parts of the cliff, and you decided that this was the best moment to speak up.

"I'm sorry if I made you sad or anything." you mumbled awkwardly, stepping out of the scooter and nearly losing your balance-having your feet on the ground after 2 whole hours seemed like a foreign concept to your legs right about now.

Dowoon shook a hand at you almost instantly. "You've made me more happy than I could ever imagine." he said unhesitantly, and this time, smiled at you with a more genuine smile. For a second, you could see the faith of the crescent moon resurface back on the ring of his eyes as he continued, "Just have fun tonight, that's all I ask for."

You nodded back, returning his smile; and with a new, strangely fluttering feeling in your heart you followed Dowoon to the picnic mat, where Jihyo and Chaewon were sitting, dressed in casual clothing-you felt slightly out of place, decked out in your sloppy, mud-speckled school uniform as you greeted them shyly, sitting yourself onto the mat. But thankfully, the girls initiated conversations well-definitely way better than you did, and within seconds, you hadn't even realised that Dowoon had slipped away to somewhere else.

"So, how's life after finals?" Jihyo asked cheerily, or rather, the way she usually talked; it wasn't rare to see that consistent, bright smile of hers plastered on her doll like face.

You didn't exactly know how to answer. "I don't really know. After school today I have that 4 month break that most have, so what happened after your break?" You started to laugh as you realised how you had redirected the topic back to them, and both of them started doing the same.

"Hmm-hahaha-I'd say that college life is still manageable, I've been doing it for about 2 months plus." Jihyo answered, failing to contain her laughter at one point as she squeezed her eyes together endearingly. "Chaewon is entering a polytechnic, so she has about 2 months more to break, same with Dowoon, Jaehyung and Younghyun want to go to a uni, so they're going to college too, but I don't know...like. I really don't know what I want in life yet..."

Her voice trailed off awkwardly, with the fading smear of her chirpy voice, and you couldn't help but relate. Sure, you had a subject combination and you had did pretty good in finals, but you didn't have a certain passion you would shirk everything to chase; not like many of the people in your class, who were already able to aim their arrows towards their target.

"It's okay. I'm sure you'll find it soon when the time arrives, I'm looking for what I want too." you said with empathy, and in response Jihyo nodded politely.

"I suppose."

All of you talked for a while longer, on less serious topics-occasionally breaking out in laughter when Jihyo came up with one of her silly, yet timely antics, and going soft hours when Chaewon showed all of you pictures of her labrador-it was a he, with a slender, healthy body and adorable marble eyes.

After a while of staring, you had only come to realise that the mahogany, soft brown shade of his fur was the same colour you saw, inked intricately in the depths of Dowoon's eyes.

Just then, there was a very coincidental, but hesitant tap on your shoulders.

"Can you come with me?" a low voice spoke up amidst the cooing over the dog, and you looked up, despite already recognising who it was.

This time, his gaze looked a little different; you couldn't help but feel slightly excited as you noticed the enigmatic sparkle that stood out amidst his gentle, brown eyes, taking his outstretched hand and standing up.

"Yoon Dowoon, I'm warning you, if you don't bring her back safely, we will tail after you with bats and split your head open." Jihyo suddenly spoke up with a glint in her big, doll eyes, voice cracking menacingly at the last line-and again, both of you laughed at her antics.

"Don't worry, I won't." he laughed awkwardly, voice faltering at the last line. You couldn't help but notice that Dowoon's cheeks were starting to heat up, but quickly ignored it when he gestured at you to follow him.

Contrary to what you thought it would be, the walk to the destination wasn't very long, unlike earlier on. From the angle of the picnic mat, a loudspeaker in the distance was clearly visible. Next to it were two other figures, Younghyun and Jaehyung-with a bass and electric guitar slung around their chests respectively.

Needlessly to say, you were shocked. "They can play those?" you exclaimed, and with a small nod, Dowoon chuckled gleefully, "Look to your left."

Without a moment of thought, you turned your head.

Cymbals, glinting on the cusp of its dully golden surface like the rings of Saturn, with two smaller drums and a large bass drum positioned at the bottom-it seemed like you were exaggerating, but...

"Dowoon, you can play that? " you cried out, faltering a little at the last word, but unlike how you had reacted, he just smiled like it wasn't that great of a feat to play the drums.

"Not just that, I'm going to play you a song." he responded triumphantly, as he approached the spinning chair behind it and sat down. A smug smile remained on his face unwaveringly as he bent down to pick up his drumsticks, humming a gentle tune between his lips-and you couldn't help but smile, wondering if that was the very song they were about to play.

"This is all for you by the way," Younghyun cut in, a malicious smirk playing on the sides of his lips as you turned to him, "-We have a school recital tomorrow, and we've practically practiced this song till we could play it with closed eyes-but our naughty youngest absolutely insisted on playing this instead of anything else, just because of his-"

"OKAY, OKAY, I think that's about enough." Dowoon shouted obnoxiously, with a slightly annoyed, slightly red look on his face, and everyone started to laugh.

"Take it away then, drummer boy." you said enthusiastically, remaining rooted to the ground in anticipation.

You definitely weren't ready for the moment he started to position those drumsticks of his.

As the guitar kicked off the song, while layered by the low consistency of the bass, you smiled unconsciously as you let the melody hum in your voice softly. It was in A major, a nice, steady rhythm; and more so when a string of clashes echoed from the cymbals, not too far away from where you were-before there was another silvery tap, followed up by what sounded like the rustle of leaves.

Then, as the melody descended down a few keys, Jaehyung rasped gently into the mic, like the soft blow of the night breeze surrounding you.

Every day I lived like I was dead But you

Became the reason For me to get up Once more You made me wanna open my eyes

In sync with the bass, your heart thumped against your chest-and you stared at Dowoon, who gave you a small smile, before going into a rapid flurry of beats yet again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

The reason for all this looked back at you knowingly, with the same spark of faith spinning confidently in his eyes; as if he understood what he meant to you, and then, the night sky seemed to tear down from the face of the earth, and enclasp itself in the centre of his eyes.

I used to never wait for tomorrow But you Became the reason For me to take one more step Not too far ahead You held out your hand to me

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby The bass suddenly made no more sound, and soon, the music stopped with your heart.

"You must be confused now." Dowoon's low voice suddenly whispered at a distance awfully near where you were standing, and startling you; yet resonating so comfortingly in your ears while he spoke.

As he locked eyes with yours, the light promisingly dancing on the sides of his pupils held the lights of the stars in them-still the ones of a child, maybe even believing more than ever; and in all your awe you began to speak hastily, not knowing what to do.

"I-I don't know, I'm happy-and these words are what I've been meaning to say to you for the longest time, you mean a lot to me, and heck, I don't even know if I could have survived running without you, there's no way you could have known-"

"These words are the words I want to say to you too."

Your eyes widened as he said those words hopefully, taking your wrists-and all the signs of red surfacing across his cheeks, with the smiles that only he could have made you smile with; to the unsure, dull gaze you had seen at your first meeting, to the beautiful, starry sky you could barely fathom in the depth of his big, believing eyes.

"I wanted to drop by your school to visit, but I heard from your friends that you were hurting a lot today, so I didn’t end up going." he said quietly, now holding up the wrist with the thin, ugly scar zipped across it and kissing it; at that moment, you could barely believe the warmth that was withheld between every fibre in the soft, pillowy surface as Dowoon looked up at you again. "And I don't want to leave you like that again. Thank you for understanding me with that kind heart of yours, when I could barely have the willpower to train the batch, and bringing me so much happiness."

He paused for a bit, and as if his voice was a conductor, your breath halted simultaneously-before he opened his mouth again, and eagerly said the words that would change your life forever.

"I want to run with you forever."

You could barely contain yourself from crying again when the feelings gushed to your head, came raining down from your eyes as tears, and through all your emotions, you nodded vigorously.

"I want to do the same, Dowoon," you sniffed, barely stabilising yourself as you felt his callused hands land on your shoulders gently, holding you close to his chest, rising and falling in waves-he too, was crying; and you never wanted to leave that place again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

From that day on, both of you ran not only across the running track in your school, but in the race of life, hand in hand-smiles being the breath in each other's lungs, and love being the reason to keep going.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again.

______________________

HECK THIS WAS SO CRINGEY AND CORNY IM SORRY ILL EDIT IT WHEN I HAVE TIME LOL!!! ugh I had sm fun tho lol Dowoon is really so precious and amazing aaaa ;;; also, I feel like I was only able to write this so well because of God, who plays the character of Dowoon and way more than that in my life-being the breath in my lungs and the reason to keep going, so really, all the glory be to Him, I have never wrote with such understanding of a concept like love and He really is so omnipresent and amazing in even everything I write even if I don't mention Him directly!!!

hehe I really like this story uwu its not the best and its way too long than it should have been but it will hold a special place in my heart!! to the anon that requested this I'm sorry if u expected a short read with a much more light hearted topic to 'cheering you up after a bad day at school' JHDSJKFHS HAHAHAHA gosh anyway I hope y'all enjoyed this if you even finished it, thanks for your support!! I'm writing this on my birthday so I gotta go sleep now, happy 2019 to everyone!

#admin n #day6 scenarios #yoon dowoon #better better #uwu

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oddpairofeyes · 6 years

Text

trii was tagged by sweethearts @080525 and @replaymp4 , hehe thank you so much!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

rules: answer these 85 statements about Urself, then tag 20 people

LAST

drink - water ; staying hydrated for shinee💦💦

phone call - this stalker who harrasses us for two years now lol :////

text message - sent sara aka @01sag a post abt iced coffee ;_;

song you listened to - judge me but cheetah girls - step up

time you cried - yesterday e yedgug?? nvm edit : it was 10min ago

EVER

dated someone twice - i never even dated once ;(

kissed someone and regretted it - hhhhhhhhhhhhh yee

been cheated on - no and hamdoulillah

lost someone special - yes

been depressed - the grind never stopped since 6th grade !!!!!

gotten drunk and thrown up - yes

FAV COLORS

#0f0096

#5fe8be

black

all shades of blue tbh

#44080e

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE U…

made new friends - a very few but yes

fallen out of love - noo

laughed until you cried - a friend stuck bread on a tree branch at school and i LOST it

found out someone was talking about you - they aint about that .....

met someone who changed you - no

found out who your friends are - hm i have no clue i dont really care lol :(

kissed someone on your facebook friends list - astaghfirullah no thank Allah😞

GENERAL

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all? i think

do you have any pets - not right now

do you want to change your name - yes! i dont like my name that much :(

what did you do for your last birthday - studied for an exam , cried , ate pizza and cake and watched a shinee concert if i remember well !

what time did you wake up today - 9am ish

what were you doing at midnight last night - watching 2000s hit songs compilations ugfeguergdzi

what is something you can’t wait for - getting the fuck out of high school like please where’s my bac already

what are you listening to right now - said the people - dinosaur jr !

have you ever talked to a person named tom - nope

something that gets on your nerves - when someone has bad attitude or is tensed up for nothing , God

most visited website - youtube , pnterest and tumblr i guess .. and one i cant say lol

hair color - B&B : Brown & Boring :D

long or short hair - reaaaaally short lmoa

do you have a crush on someone - no

what do you like about yourself - that i’m ambitious and can talk my way out of almost anything !

want any piercings - a helix hehe

blood type - A+

nicknames - hib , gigi bc of my last name .. hiba inu , hibz , my brother calls me cheeky fool :( my parents call me pipish or bibita which is incredibly embarrassing to say right here right now

relationship status - do i look like anyone could ever want to date me ever

zodiac - libra ♎

pronouns - she/her !

fave tv shows - oooooooo crap i’d say sherlock bbc lol and peaky blinders

tattoos - i want some stick and poke ones

right or left handed - right

ever had surgery - noooo

piercings -i have two on each ear and planning on adding more !

sport - i do not comprehend this qquestion

vacation - i’m still on vacation actually, the longest ones ive had, since the start of june so i’m currenty Dying tbh

trainers - ???

MORE GENERAL

eating - rn ...air ; we eat at very late hours in morocco especially my house

drinking - water

Im about to watch - a documentary

waiting for - my teeny weeny afro to grow =(

want - to have confidence in myself

get married - i’m sorry but we do not believe in that in this household

career - one i want is anything scientific ! one im forced to do is business stuff haha

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses - hugsssss

lips or eyes - eyes

shorter or taller - hmmm tough bc i like to hug people but also love to snuzzle my head in someones chest so i really dont know :/

older or younger - same age ? and older

nice arms or stomach - neither i dont care egyegfegfe

hookup or relationship - well

troublemaker or hesitant - as a libra thats just obvious but im a bit of a troublemaker too

HAVE U EVER

kissed a stranger - noo ):

drank hard liquor - yeeeeees (:

lost glasses - oh GOD it was so bad i walked into a glass door while looking for them and started nosebleeding

turned someone down - yes :$

sex on first date - lmoa

broken someone’s heart - i hope not but some have told me that i did :(

had your heart broken - meh

been arrested - nooo but i got stopped by security guards a few times 😶

cried when someone died - this is just hilarious isnt it :P XD

fallen for a friend - yes

DO U BELIEVE IN

yourself - we’re working on it 😔😔

miracles - yes sometimes

love at first sight - no honestly , i agree with nemeth 💞on the lust at first sight option

santa claus - look i may have the mental age of a 5 year old but come on-

kiss on a first date - it seems to always happen so yes? even if i cant speak out of experience you know

angels - YES 💞💞💞💞

OTHER

best friend’s name - i dont really have BEST friends but my really close ones are named sara , marwan and selma

eye color - again ; B&B : Brown & Boring -_-

fave movie - the rocky horror picture show

fave actor - none really

i’m tagging @01sag @taemsbaby @virgostellium @infpline @stylishmp3 @cupidjohnny @gothmonster @iloveminho @moon9oddess @viewgf @jaeminbf @diorclit @diorwlw @159rm @mlnho @tophyuna @nctanti @tittiesloveblog @6apricorn @chaoticsoftie and anyone who wants to do it, really ! also sorry for my dumbass answers 😤 i hope it was at least a tiiny bit entertaining to fucking read . 🤔👏💞

#also i just tagged some random mutuals ily sorry if this kind of stuff annoys you :(((#gamies #mutuals

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danfanciesphil · 6 years

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Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd.

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester.

He won’t.

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

#phan #phanfic #bartender au #phanfiction

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unhelpfu1 · 6 years

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Okay so I’m kind of new to your blog and I see that you’re really into kpop and I’ve been wanting to get into it for a long time, but you’ve pointed out a few groups to avoid in the past and I was just wondering if you could give me some good groups to listen to and/or some groups to avoid? I want to find some quality groups but at the same time I want to avoid getting into any trashy groups. Love your blog btw

You’re so sweet thank you!!! As for kpop, I don’t listen as much as I used to but I feel like of course BTS is solid lol i also have always loved SHINee. Winner is pretty good. I really like Seventeen, Nu'est and NCT has some good music as long as you have the taste for it? Like some of it can be kinda boring imo. Most girl groups have good shit I like WSJN, EXID and Twice. You should also listen to Chungha and Sunmi! Theyre both really talented solos. I’ve always looooved Brown Eyed Girls as well. Red Velvet is iffy because ome of the members is pretty racist so it’s up to you if you still wanna give them a try. a few groups listed have probably done “problematic” things since I last checked but I’m not as up to date on all that drama as i used to be so if that is something that really concerns you I would look into that more. There are also some groups that you may find yourself getting into that have been shitty in the past and i think depending on the situation there are some redeemable peopleAlso I really recommend japanese girl group Banana Lemon they’re a group of mixed ethnicity girls and I’m loving them so far!!!Hope I helped ❤ (sorry im just a little high rn)

Edit: and of course Hyuna!! Love that girl also CLC altho they're kinda hit or miss for me,, and pentagon

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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ugh im big stupid and haven't been posting my shit here for a while. I've still been typing it out in my notes, I just havent transferred them onto here lol. im putting it all under the cut, don't worry

Today was pretty dang nice! I spent a little time outside because it was nice and warm out, I drew a little in my sketchbook and digitally rendered a picture of Anna’s new princess outfit, ran an errand with my mom to pick up a graphing calculator and a pack of soda, ate some Wendy’s, and did a lot of sewing for my dress! I joined the bodice lining and exterior, and did a little over half of the sewing for the skirt. I’m doing French seams so there’s no raw edges on the inside, so I still have to iron it and go over the second round of stitches. My machine malfunctioned for a moment with the thread tangling up in the lower bobbin thingy, so I left it alone for like an hour and it fixed itself lol. I’m very happy with how the bodice came out after clipping all the extra fabric in the corners and test fitting it. I think it’ll be great when it’s done!! Although I may or may not need to seam rip a little bit of the skirt to extend the zipper down so I can get it over my fuckin DUMPTRUCK when putting it on. Right now there’s enough stretch to put it on, but Idk how well that’ll stay after attaching the 2 pieces. Also it might end up making me look fat/preggo in the end with how the skirt lays lmao. I also did a really quick test fit with the sleeves, and I might actually like it better sleeveless? I’ll put one on anyway and go from there to see which I like better. HOORAY this dress has pockets!! But I may have put them a little low lol. I wanted to do a big dress debut at prom, but turns out graduates aren’t allowed due to covid restrictions :( so that really sucks. But we’re still gonna hang out a little bit beforehand, and I can still do a debut. I made a little bow out of some scrap dress fabric, which I want to put in my hair for pre-prom. I think I’ll braid my hair, maybe get some fake flowers from dollar tree and ribbon to add somehow, and put the ribbon either at the bottom or the top, wherever the hair tie eventually goes. I’m so exited to work on it more. I’m kinda running out of white thread tho so I’ll have to get more. Later in the evening i got hungry and made ramen while my dad and I watched a documentary on some of the horrible shit that went on all around the world during 2020, some of which I had forgotten about, some that was really surreal and out of a dystopian movie, and some stuff that was just upsetting to watch. It was still pretty good tho. I got work tomorrow and I’m really sleepy even tho it’s only 12:30 so I think I’m gonna grab a snack and go to sleep soon. Gnight mwah

Yesterday I worked and sewed until I ran out of thread and drew a little bit. Spent most of my shift watering flowers, then I went home and ate for a moment, then watered more and picked dead flowers and talked about avatar and other animated shows with the highschool girl I work with. Came home and hung out for a while, that evening made some good pasta.

Today I justly hung out, then went with mom to pick up a bookshelf and went through strawtown which I thought was a very funny name for a town. There was a cute antique shop in there tho. On the way back we stopped in a sewing shop called Always in stitches. I expected it to be a very small shop, but it was SO much bigger than I thought it would be. They had tons of fabric and quilting supplies, and lots of old ladies working and talking. I picked up a cone of white thread and a fabric sample pack. Then I sewed my dress a little bit. I still have lots to do, and only like 2.5 days to do it. I’ll get there tho. All I have to do is add the skirt hem, add the pockets back in (I took them out so I could see them in normally), add sleeves and hem them, and add the zipper. And attach the skirt to the bodice. I think I’ll be able to do it. I had yogurt for the first time in forever today. Tbh I used just enough to hold together the strawberry and granola bits kgelgskgs. It was pretty good tho. I drew ELEVEN pages in my sketchbook, about 8 of them being a comic about the pony au of our royalty au. I could have done the comic with human characters but ponies are so much easier to draw aggsssdh. I spent 40 minutes typing out the dialogue and editing it on top of the rest of the comic so my friend could read it, but she still hasn’t read my text :( oh well that’s fine lol. The original plot was supposed to be Sam talking to an accidental illusion of me being mean about her blight, but then I accidentally made it something different. I might just draw the alternate ending instead. Update I just did

Yesterday I sewed and went to Menards to buy tile for moms bathroom.

Today was VERY productive, I feel like. I woke up and immediately took a shower and did laundry. I spent some one just sitting on my bed scrolling and researching while listening to medieval remixes of songs lol. At some point I went out to buy subway for everyone and stopped at dollar tree for nail polish and satin ribbon. I made the ribbon into a little choker and wanted to use it for the hem of the skirt, but I was too short. In total I spent HOURS hemming and pinning and seam ripping and ironing and sewing today, but it’s still not done. I gotta kick my ass into high gear if it’s gone be done by Sunday afternoon. I started sewing the bottom hem, but my machine has been doing this weird thing where the fabric scrunches up right past the sewing foot and leaves wrinkles and gathers so loose I can move it around with my hands easily. I think it’s just my tension being too tight or something, I adjusted it a bit and I’ll test it in the morning. I’m too tired and it’s too late at night to be doing that much sewing. I seam ripped the entire back skirt seam so I could extend the zipper a little further down, and I’ll sew it back up once the hem is done. After that all I need to donis connect the skirt to the bocice, fix the zipper, and hem the arm holes. I don’t want to use the sleeves I made because the edges don’t line up at all and I don’t think I would be able to lift my arms, the way it’s built. The nail polish I picked up works way better than I thought it would, leaving a pretty good metallic sheen after just one coat. Way better than I thought for a dollar. I helped mom lay down tile a little bit, ripping up one old tile and helping a bit at a time throughout the day. I kept asking if she wanted help with the actual tiling part but she said no. We also couldn’t get the fuckin box cutter I bought to work. It’s supposed to be easy to replace the blade, but we couldn’t figure it out lol. I’m falling asleep fun. Washed my face twice, trying to take good care of myself before prom so I look good in photos. Gotta wash hair tomorrow. Made hamburger meat

Spent all day sewing and listening to bardcore remixes. Dress is as done as I bother to make it rn

Tbh I was hoping for a little more for today. I’ve spent the last like week or longer working towards this, and going especially in depth the past 3 days. I got all silky smooth, worked for hours on my dress, thought about pretty much nothing except prom day. I was late because my dad had my neighbor come over to take pictures of me in my dress. I thought it was just going to be her holding my dad’s phone to get a picture of us together, but she brought her whole ass professional camera and spent several minutes taking pictures. Then I took the weirdest way possible to get to my friend’s house on accident because google maps said it was the fastest way to get there. But HEY when I did get there I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. We ate some dinner AND??? Sammie I’m sorry if you’re reading this but THE MASHED POTATOES?? WERE S O BLAND????? AFAJSTSTHJST ily but girl. Just a little salt could have gone a long way <3 the steak and especially the green bean casserole were good tho :) dinner was good with the sparkling juice and little desert. Overall everything was just very loud, but that’s to be expected when this is everyone’s first time seeing each other in a goddamn while: actually I think they’ve all seen each other at school without me but hey whatever. I think I fucked up my phone screen on accident by sitting on it while it was in my pocket with my keys, leaving a spiderweb crack in it. I checked and yeah it’s not just the screen protector :( eh I don’t care that much, It didn’t fuck up the lcd screen or anything. We went up to Sam’s room and hung out and talked while she did Liz’s makeup and took pictures, and I borrowed a little of her concealer before photos. There was a little photo shoot in their front yard, and looking at the photos I look a little fat in them but I LOVE all the photos taken in Sam’s room where we were all just hanging out. Idk why but whenever you have to do photos and they say to do a silly one, it never turns out good, but the fun ones you casually take always turn out way better. They’re more genuine :) but then it was time for everyone to go to prom and for me to go home 😔 we only hung out for like an hour and a half. I didn’t want to take off my dress, seeing as I put in so much effort to sew the whole dress and shave and look pretty, so I wore it around the house for a bit until I got tired and went to lay in bed. I watched the mitchels vs the machines, which is a fuckin DELIGHTFUL movie!! Everybody go watch it it’s so cute <3 I also played some Pokémon and watched a little YouTube in bed, but feeling unfulfilled and wanting to do something different, I just didn’t know what. So instead I started typing this up as my sister brought me a cupcake from prom :) I had a bite and put the rest in the fridge, since it was so big and in a plastic container. I texted a friend over Snapchat asking if they had fun at prom, and they said it was kinda ass. I tried relating and saying yeah all school dances are a little ass, and my friend group once had anti prom and played dnd instead, but they just said ‘that’s nice’ back and idk if that means they’re annoyed at me or they’re just tired and didn’t wanna text or what but :( idk. Either way it’s fine, right now all I care about is going to bed. Gnight I guess. Also I keep thinking about that textpost that’s like “diary of icarly” and she talks in these simple-ass sentences and now I feel self conscious about how I write these snafnfs. I already know I write like a child in these, but that’s just because I don’t wanna go through the effort of making this sound nice and professional every day lmao. So child writing it is. Also painted my nails really horribly and it took forever to clean up which made me late

Woke up, went to work, spent a little time stocking, watered indoor plants, then attempting to work the register, and organized plants the rest of the time. I stood behind one of my coworkers as she checked people out, kind of understanding what she was doing but not that much, and read the manual in down periods. She had me check out a couple people, and it was NERVE WRACKING AS HELL. Thankfully everyone was very nice, and my coworker stood by and helped, and right as I was getting my foothold, my boss called for me to work outside and bring in the new shipment of plants. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE?? I was actually able to help some people today!! :D I’m slowly getting better at my job which is nice :) originally I was only gonna work 4 hours, but there were more plants to get and I felt like I could keep going, so I ended up working 6 instead. Every time I come home from the end of my shift I feel bad for not working more and like I should have stayed longer. Tbh I think I could do it if I had a proper break! I’ve been doing 4 hour shifts with maybe a water break in the middle because i don’t know how to ask to go on break ;-; Ike my secondary boss in the garden center is super nice and approachable and friendly but the main boss is like. Terrifying. I never know when he’s joking or being serious and I don’t understand him and assffsfamms it SUCKS. But whatever, I went home and ate some Mac n cheese and laid in bed because my back hurt and played on my ds for the rest of the night. I tried a couple new games, none of which I spent very long on. I tried okami den where you’re the wolf puppy child of the precious games protagonist I think, and idk maybe I’ll give it a better try in the future, but I wasn’t feelin it. I spent like 30 minutes on a pro bass fishing simulator and couldn’t clear the first level because the fish wouldn’t get close enough to my boat lmao. Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games was fun until I lost at table tennis to Mario. I’d play it again. But I have work again tomorrow so I gotta go to bed good night. Having to blast my fan and play drawfee on my phone to drown out moms tv again >:(

Ate a pbj for breakfast? Went to work, moved plants around, took my lunch break, went to subway with an expired coupon, ate at home and times it perfectly so I could watch one section of the new drawfee episode, went back to work, made myself sad thinking about the god girl homunculus from fullmetal alchemist, picked dead flowers off the petunias, left a little early, hung out at home, left to go get mom’s medicine, found my dad at the store, followed him around and shopped for a bit, can home to unload everything, talked with him about buying one of the cars from him so it would be under mom’s insurance after the divorce, talked about being able to hang out at dads apparent after we help him move, ate some of the stuff we bought, and now I’m hanging out in bed again. I picked up my Pokémon black save and played a while today which was nice. I think I’m gonna work more in the next few days, be really busy with shit for like a week, and finally have a breather after the 15th. I really need to switch brain gears back into college stuff soon so I can sign up for orientation and figure out finances and shit, but for now it’s midnight and I don’t have to think about it lol

Today was pretty good, but also pretty boring. I played Pokémon all day since I didn’t have work, cooked some hamburger meat, and went on an errand for mom but got the wrong thing so I went out later to buy the right thing. I got spicy chicharrones instead of regular ones oops. On my drive back from getting the right thing, I rolled all my windows down and loved the feeling of driving around right after sunset when the weather was nice but cool, especially after standing in mom’s loud-ass room trying to ask about her bank card. I thought about going back out to aimlessly drive around the park and back, but instead hung out in my kitchen as my cat fell asleep on my lap. I think I’m gonna get paid tomorrow, so that’s exciting :D I probably made a solid couple hundred dollars if I had to guess. Idk what I’m getting paid per hour, but it’s probably ~$10 and I COULD go through my texts again to see how much I’ve worked, but I don’t really wanna lmao. I should just start putting that in my notes app instead...

Just had probably the most involved, longest dream ever?? It was a mix of infinity train and dangenrompa, we were mostly stuck inside my house, one boy left for years to search for supplies, I tried biking along a tail that disappeared into tree roots and a ditch with grass, cried because we had been in the same car for so long I was afraid they were gonna make us kill someone to get past, and at the end we escaped or something and had to fuck up security cameras and get past loopholes and lots of cereal boxes were involved? Idk there’s just so much I don’t remember. I wasn't sure if I had to go to work today, so I sent my boss a text and just kinda hung out. was making hamburger meat for my mom when my boss called asking me to come in, so I took a shower and worked from 1-5. spent some time at the register, and got way better at checking stuff out :) I learned a couple things, and there was one old lady in particular who was very patient and nice to me while my coworker went to go find a smaller bag of birdseed. when it stopped being busy inside, I went ut to the garden center to help price plants and spent the rest of my shift out there. I got paid too! $9 an hour, 22 hours, $200 in total. hell yeah. not bad, although I literally have no frame of reference on if this Is good or not. after work I went home for a second, then got Hardee’s (or carls jr in the western states). I used a coupon for chicken tenders for me and my sister :) and while I was driving around today, I found myself wishing that everything in life could be as smooth and easy as driving my car through my neighborhood. and then I kinda laughed thinking about how I cried my first time driving on a major road asdjfasjdhf. but seriously I love driving my dad’s silver Volvo!! its so comfy with 4 wheel drive and good petal control, its like always driving on freshly paved roads <3 unfortunately that's the car my dad is taking when he moves into his apartment to use as his full time car instead of his shit-ass blue Volvo, and we’re gonna be stuck with the red Volvo with a really touchy gas pedal and slow break pedal. (idk if you've noticed but we really love old Volvos in this family. they’re all old and boxy as hell and I love em <3 ) then I played Pokemon black and beat the elite 4 and champion in one try with a lot of revives lmao. I was kinda underleveled, right at 48-50 range, same as them. I was angry about stuff and in pain earlier in the shower as I washed my hair, but I dont remember exactly what it was. now I have my soft Spotify playlist going so I can maybe go to sleep soon. oh wait I remember being angry that all I could thin about all day was work, even tho it only takes up a few hours of my day, and then I do nothing all day afterwards. idk it’s just weird.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #may 2021 daily #2021 daily

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0writerchick0 · 6 years

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Where are my Baelishes? Im dying...

Aww thanks for asking Anon! It’s truly nice to be missed. I put a “Ration Warning” at the top of the most recent chapter because real life is getting bananas. I was sent out of town last week for work and I recently got word that I’m getting sent out of town twice in March. Boooooo, lol.

That shouldn’t sound like an issue, but to be honest with you, it’s really hard to write in a hotel room with a coworker as my roomie (talk about a cold shower to my creative vibes…). “What are you doing?” “What’s that?” “What’s fanfiction?” “Eww, Littlefinger, really?” or heaven forbid: “What’s Game of Thrones? Is it like The Voice?” lolololololol – sorry, I’m such a shithead. I’m sure my coworker knows what GoT is. Though, tbh I don’t want someone looking over my shoulder as I’m writing: “She trembled in his arms, flagrant proof of her arousal dripping down the knuckles of his ringed fingers…”

That being said, I am currently picking away at chapter 19 now and I sincerely hope to have it done by the end of the weekend. I usually write a chapter over 2 days – having my doc open for like 13 hours at a time and then I spend another day or two just editing with very kind people willing to put up with deleting my repetition and sliding my commas where they really should go.

But! Because real life work has been so demanding lately, I’ve only been writing like an hour at a time in chunks. It’s really effected my flow. Thank @greedisgreen and @lady-sansa-baelish (reading and re-reading stuff I’ve written to tell me what to ax and what to keep)for helping me find my voice for this chapter, even with all the starts and stops that I am definitely not used to having to put up with.

*Because you are so kind as to inquire (making me feel all super supported 😊), if you private message me, I’ll send you a spoiler excerpt from what I’m working on. Just tell me if you want something regarding Petyr, Sansa, the Lannisters, or the Starks, and I’ll pick a line or two to message it to you to read early!

#Ask #The Baelieshes #Writing #True Story #damn real life #Yay Spoilers!!!

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survivor-mountmerapi · 3 years

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Finale: “My impact on this game? Astronomical.” - Raffy

Raffy

My impact on this game? Astronomical. This is probably the best I've ever played in a long time. I literally survived a vote that I should have been gone at. My strong social bonds and strategic mind are literally shining. With my SWP, I am at F5 guaranteed. There's no reason to lie to Gian or Anastasia anymore. It's time I come clean to them so I don't lose to a bitter jury. It will be tough because I really like Gian, but this has to be done. Literally, my CP edit is over the charts. I am winning this game! My F3 plan is still in the air. I definitely want Steven there. So, it's between Elle and DeNara. I have a better chance at winning against Elle, but DeNara could be extremely bitter. Choices, choices.

DeNara

Final 3 alliance with Elle and Anastasia? Yes please! I am feeling like I am in a good spot right now. I can use a break from stress for at least a day. We just cant have Gian win immunity

Raffy

I found an idol! I got it! I have it! I can make it to Final 4! These people are going to be MAD when I flip that thing out at Final 5. But, it doesn't matter anymore. I have the one thing that will keep me safe in these trying times. That's all that matters. Now, I just need to win the Final Immunity Challenge and I will the game. Honestly, things are looking a lot brighter for me. I came into this game thinking that there was no way I could possibly win, but now there is a real chance. My preferred boot order at the moment is Gian -> Anastasia -> DeNara. I think that gives me the best chances at getting my second win.

Steven

These puzzles are making me not like puzzles. I literally haven't talked to anyone cause Im trying to grind these things out.

Raffy

I won individual immunity! We stan a king that's making it to FTC. My plan this round is to finally take out Gian. I am giving Steven the SWP to ensure he sticks around. So, it should be 3-2 against Gian which serves me well. I am not that worried about an idol because I am safe. In fact, it would do me well if Gian does have an idol and idols out one of DeNara or Elle. It takes one of them out for me so I do not have to do it later.

Gian

No one wants to talk with me, which means they’re unwilling to flip. So, 6th place it is I guess! Not bad for a noob in what’s like an All Star season. I’m proud of that.

Elle

hi between last round and this one i have contracted covid amazing hate that for me anyway this is a general run-through of the game stuff i did while i still had energy to do game stuff: - made an 'eventual final 3' alliance with denara and anastasia - made a plan of it being gian, raffy, then steven gone - texted the raffy steven denara and me alliance abt some meant for the other one and then had to cover a bit whoops - idk i think that's it, i started the puzzle challenge and then the next morning i woke up and was like "this... might not be it chief" and then took a nap and woke up and was like "this is Entirely Not It, Chief" Hope im not some secret blindside vote bc i have not been active enough to even guess what may be going on secretly I'm voting Gian and that's all i got

DeNara

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have made it to final 5! Yay me! I feel good about my final 3 deal with Anastasia and Elle. I am nervous about Steven and Raffy. Steven hasn't really been talking to me much lately so I am nervous he doesn't want to work with me anymore so I feel like he may have to be the next vote off. Anastasia said she searched 28 and was told there used to be something there, which is where Raffy said he found his idol. I didn't believe he had the idol, but now I do. Which means he is for sure going to be in the final 4. He cannot win final 4 immunity or I am hecked. Right now I am trying to figure out if there is a way to put the votes on Raffy in case he doesn't play it. I don't want to only vote Steven and then have Raffy give his idol to Steven.

Raffy

The only concern I have for this round is if Anastasia will win immunity. That presents a very big problem as I would have to move my betrayal plan up by one round. However, I am not terribly worried about this round since, with this idol, I will be getting to Final 4. There's not much tea. I am trying to discuss with Steven later who we should take out at 4, but he seems hesitant. That's a red flag that he might be targeting me. Oh well. He'll have to beat me at FIC first.

Anastasia

The only tea is very sad. I think I might be getting voted off. I only think this because Raffy sent me a goodbye message and it seems that's the way it's going to be. My only hope is DeNara and Steven and I talked with them and pleaded my case to keep me. I don't know what they'll do but I'm thinking they will vote me out because I'm a bigger threat than Elle. DeNara literally said earlier in the game that me, Gian, and Raffy were her biggest threats. I have like a 30% chance of staying but even if I do stay I probably wont win. And if they somehow get Raffy out next round, I don't even know who I'd even vote for. I think if I made it past this round I would maybe have a chance at winning or at least recieving some votes.

Raffy

Steven and I had a small chat about our FTC plans. We came to the conclusion that we should bring DeNara to FTC. The logic behind it is that some of the jurors may be bitter against DeNara for not flipping at multiple occasions. She missed her shot to do anything really impactful in the late stages of the game. So, it would be best to take her to the end. Elle has a solid vote in Moth, but DeNara has no one like it. So, that is the current plan of action. Other than that, Anastasia should be getting the boot tonight unless she has an idol. In which case, it makes the FTC plan a lot simpler in my mind since we will not have to betray anybody.

Elle

Late game I feel like there's less and less to confess, probably bc there are less people to interact with, and especially with this vote not much choice. Unless Anastasia has an idol, she's going this round :(. I could've sworn there were 2 more idols out in the wild (well one more bc Raffy has one) but maybe I forgot to subtract once or something. Anyway I hope DeNara wins, even though I was thinking about it, and no matter which one of us wins at this point it's not a bad narrative. Steven will have won his first game in like 3 years, Raffy will have had years of losses only to win twice in a row which would be wild lol, and I'm not sure how long DeNara has been playing but it'll be her first win, and this is only my second game so I'm not like, dying to win, honestly. If Anastasia does have an idol tho :O now wouldn't that be interesting!! I hope she votes for me 😂since the only options are me and DeNara I really want DeNara to win :( but if I go to FTC I can't just be like "Hello everyone vote for DeNara pls 💖" Plus I've been getting like a stray vote like every round since before Julia left.

Steven

So basically Raffy conceded his chance of immunity to me cause of his idol. Like i guess I could've done the same but my idol is still a secret (shhhh). The plan is now to use it on Anastasia and maybe throw a vote on DeNara. Like it's in everyone's best interest to vote Raffy next round so I could pretty much do whatever this round with little repercussions. Like I know voting DeNara would probably hurt her feelings but she is apart of Raffy's ideal final 3 so whatever way I can mess with that I would be down for.

DeNara

Dang it. It sucks that Steven got immunity. I love the guy, he is great, but he is the person connected the most to Raffy so now it is either myself, Elle or Anastasia going home :-(

DeNara

Ahhhhhhh I am so nervous for tribal. I really hope I am not going to be blindsided. Right now the plan is for myself, Steven and Raffy to vote for Anastasia. I am nervous because I know I am probably a bigger threat than her and it has been super quiet lately. Sooooo.... either I am going to be blindsided or everyone is just super set with their plan. Part of me wants to take Elle out and work with Anastasia but that would require Steven's help and I don't think he is up for it. Sigh. It is harder because I like every one!

Anastasia

DeNara just comfirmed with me that I'm going home. Since this is probably my last confession in this game I will say my opinion. This whole situation in this game is very boring because everyone knows what's going to happen. And it's DeNara and Stevens fault for it too. DeNara could've voted him out but she got scared. Steven, to this round, is too scared of Raffy to vote Elle. They are letting the person that is supposed to be the biggest target control them. They are literally scared of "going against his wishes." It's rediculous and I'm sorry to say it but I don't like how Steven and DeNara played the game. I love them as people though! DeNara even made it seem like she was on my side but the only time we really worked together was when I saved her by voting out Madi. That was the only thing we actually got done. Steven also said he was my ally the whole game but whenever I would talk game with him he would just talk about how he's scared of what Raffy would think or do. It's so boring and dissappointing to me. Oh and Elle. The nicest girl here but also the least active in the game. She was good at challenges kind of but she also followed Raffy the whole game. If Raffy got voted out, I wouldn't want to vote for any of them. Sorry about it. I'm hoping I can play this game again and be an experienced player. Now that I know how this thing works I am ready to make moves and stuff. It's too bad I'm getting voted off tonight.

Anastasia

So everyone tried to get Anastasia out but Anastasia remains in this game. I survived the hardest week when the odds were against me somehow. And heres something awkward: I said out loud that Steven is such a Raffy follower and basically that I think hes a bad player and then he used idol on me. Laughs out loud I guess. Anyways i am so happy that I am safe and we got the most likable player outta here. I really hope I win immunity like I literally need to win please.

DeNara

Holy crap!!!!!!! I knew I was going to get blindsided!!!!!!! Although I thought it was going to be Raffy doing that, not Steven! I am so thankful to Anastasia for voting Elle because I told her to vote Raffy and if she had done that, I would have gone home. I am also so thankful for Elle for saying she wanted to be voted out. I kind of feel like I don't deserve to be in the final 4 because I think Raffy would have voted me out, but I have played a great social game. I told Raffy I will send him to fire-making if he doesn't win immunity and I meant it when I said it. Now I have to figure out if I am actually going to do it. I have played a great social game and connected with just about everyone so I do feel like I have a chance to win.

Raffy

I am not that surprised by Steven's move. Though, it didn't work. I figured he was wanting to make a big move to have some credit to his game. Though, it didn't work. Now, I have two options: win FIC or get DeNara to vote with me. It will be a tough road, but I have faith that I can get her to send me to fire along with someone else. I have found myself in a very sticky situation, but I'm a weasel. I can get out of it. It's possible. I am very nervous about this immunity challenge because I have no idea what I am going to get myself into. God. I want to win so badly it hurts.

Anastasia

Raffy

I should get "Arrogant" tattooed on my forehead. There's something about that word that just gets me HEATED. But, during the conference, I feel I maintained my cool. I don't think it was necessarily helpful because I already know what I need to do to get to the end. Just got to find a way to get there.

Raffy

Time to go cry. There's nothing left for me to do. Literally, nothing to do except wait and pray these people actually talk to me. DeNara will not be receiving my vote if she chooses to vote me out here as giving me false hope after last tribal is a bit too unflavorful for me. Anastasia is going to vote for me. Steven is going to vote for me. Literally, I just have to rely on DeNara which fucking sucks. I'm just so sad now. I've come so far in this game and done so much and have given up so much time, effort, and mental energy to a game. And now it's all going down the drain because of fucking trivia. Side note. I hate trivia. If there's one thing I am not good at, then it would be trivia. God. I just want to crawl into a hole until tribal.

Anastasia

GUYS I LITERALLY JUST WON THE CHALLENGE. We literally just need to vote out Raffy it's so easy but I'm scared DeNara is going to send him to fire like she promised WHICH WOULD BE DUMBEST GAME MOVE EVER I SWEAR IF SHE DOES IT.. Anyways I am a little bit excited for final tribal council i can't wait to plead my case and probably win. I mean maybe I wont but I talked to the jury today and they don't seem to like Steven or DeNaras games. So unless they have something really good to say I think that I might have a really good shot at winning.

DeNara

Well I lost that challenge so hard. I am so glad I saved my advantage for that *insert eye roll here*. Seriously though I actually only knew two answers lol I felt so stupid. I hope people realize how incompetent I actually am and give me props for making it this far lol.

DeNara

I feel so stressed. Steven and Anastasia are begging me to vote Raffy out and Raffy is begging me to let him make fire. I know that if I vote him out, I have a really good shot at winning, but I think the guilt would eat me alive. He saved me last vote 100% and now he is asking me, person to person, to just give him the opportunity to fight for his life in the game. I know that if I let him make fire, I am basically killing my chances of winning. If Steven wins fire-making, people will be mad I left it to chance and didn't vote Raffy out for the second time. If Raffy wins fire-making, he is likely to just straight up win the game. I have played a fantastic social game so I know I deserve to win, but I think everyone will be clouded over by Raffy that they won't even listen to me. Right now I plan on voting Steven because I know I would feel awful voting Raffy out, whether I win or not. But I know I am likely to flip flop about every 11 minutes until tribal lol. I honestly have no idea what I will end up doing. Greedy DeNara really wants to win, but kind DeNara wants to give Raffy the chance, even if she looses. DeNara loves to talk in third person btw.

DeNara

Both Raffy and Steven are checking in on me constantly because they want to ensure my vote. It is kind of nice to feel like I am guaranteed a spot in the final 3 at this point. Unless something crazy happens and Steven and Raffy both vote me.... rip

Raffy

DeNara is sending me to fire. I am going to cry.

DeNara

Well.... it is 35 minutes before tribal. I am feeling stressed and pretty awful about voting Raffy, especially since all day I have told him I am going to send him to fire. I have been trying to not think about how I feel about this. I plan to vote Raffy and I feel awful about it right now.

Steven

This may be my final confessional. This game has been a journey of ups and downs from the start and I'm so happy to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It hurts to vote my friend out at the last possible tribal but I have gone over it in my head for rounds now and the only possible way for me to have a chance at final tribal is to have him out. Its so weird though going the end with both Anastasia and DeNara cause we just randomly made a final 3 rounds ago but we barely talked in it, and now it actually came to fruition and we are most likely being in the final 3 together. Now my life is in DeNara's hands and I'm just hoping that she sees the situation from a logical standpoint like she has for most of this game. I'm just worried cause she has got nervous in the past and I don't her to make any irrational decisions and keeps Raffy.

I was so worried before the challenge cause I told Raffy that the chances of me voting for him to stay was very unlikely. I just wanted to be honest cause I didn't want to get his hopes up and then hurt him right before he goes to jury. He was honest back and said that he will be voting for Anastasia and if she wins then me. Well Anastasia won (Just barely and oh my god Raffy had me so worried cause he almost won) and ultimately put Raffy's final target on me. Like if I do make it to final 3 with DeNara and Anastasia I do think it is kind of an even playing field. We all have different stories with our own person ups and downs. I know my biggest hurdle is going to be getting the jury to see me as anything as Raffy's goat first and then get them to understand my game second. I'm worried they will look at the other two and see them playing more individual games and I need to make everyone see that I played the same way. I don't say this much and actually mean it but it is anyone's game.

Anastasia

So we just voted Raffy out of this game. The vote was all up to DeNara at this vote and she is a very emotional player so I was so nervous. Luckily, she voted Raffy and that made it 3 votes Raffy and 1 vote Steven. And as a plus, Steven no longer has a perfect game so I think that is just perfect. DeNara was very upset about having to vote Raffy but she knew she had to do it. Raffy's goodbye speech was very extreme and I think he shouldn't have said some of the things he said. He had been playing with DeNaras emotions for a week up to this tribal and his speech just attacked her. He basically took all of this negative emotions that he felt from losing the game out onto emotional DeNara and I didn't feel it was right. Raffy just critisized DeNara for lying but everyone lies in this game including you. I know he's lied because he's lied to my face before. I just hated how he made DeNara feel it was not nice at all.

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