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eyelessfaces · 1 day

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three weeks

poe dameron x reader

summary: poe has never been gone that long since you started dating; mornings happen to feel warmer when he is home.

warnings: p with minimal plot....., morning sex, handjob, piv sex, hair pulling (POE RECEIVING), this isn't just corn I promise it's mostly sweet because your honor they are in LOVE

tags: f!reader, fluff, banter, teasing:)

word count: 2.4k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

!!may the force be with you

You had fallen asleep to the featherlight stroke of his fingertips against your arm in his warm embrace; he had never been gone for that long since you started dating, and though you knew you would have to get used to being apart, you weren’t sure you actually would, ever.

But if it always felt this way, always felt raw and pure when you found each other again like you had just fallen in love with each other all over again, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be torn apart from time to time.

His eyes are still shut when yours open, long eyelashes kissing his cheeks as his slow, steady breath tells you he’s still asleep. It is quite rare for the both of you to be able to linger in bed and enjoy a morning together, he is most of the time already long gone when you wake up, even on his days off he still spends running around everywhere.

You softly call his name when your hand comes to rest over his bare torso, fingers twisting with the chain around his neck, mouth pressing against the light stubble of his cheek.

He stirs softly, and his face contorts into a small yawn before he turns so he can nuzzle against your own.

“Morning,” he rasps softly, voice cracking with sleep as his eyes remain shut. His hand slips under the sheets, settling over your hip, his throat vibrating with a low hum as your fingers gently weave through his thick, messy curls. His own fingers mirror yours when they slip under your shirt, rubbing patterns onto your skin; you always wonder how he’s so warm all the time, heat radiating off his body like a living radiator.

“Morning,” you reply in a soft exhale, smiling as he drowsily blinks at you. “Slept well?”

He hums in reflection. “Better than the past three weeks” he ultimately affirms, his lips faintly pecking at the corner of your mouth.

“Corny” you mock, sighing softly when he shifts to nestle his face in the crook of your neck.

“Factual” he counters as he squeezes your hip, causing you to softly yelp in surprise and make him breathe out a laugh against your shoulder. “May seem surprising, but I actually like sleeping by your side in my bed more than I like sleeping practically on the ground in a shitty tent.” he adds, leaving a kiss just above the collar of your shirt before turning around.

“I would’ve never guessed that.” you tease. Poe takes a look at the holographic clock, turning back to you with a small frown when he realizes what time it is. Your eyes widen playfully, “I took the morning off. Surprise”

“Ouhhh,” he chants with a snide smirk, his hand crawling higher under your shirt as he presses his body close to yours again. “What a nice surprise”

“First time we can spend the morning together,” you note.

“It happened before”

You scoff. “Not by the book. You ended up being late to your own meeting” you retort with a playful smirk. The memory makes your stomach flutter; he had been particularly needy and desperate that morning, and you had had trouble trying not to laugh when he showed up to the conference room with his hair all mussed up and a faint blush over his face.

“Alright, yeah, but neither of us would’ve been happy if I left the room to get to the meeting in time huh?” he smirks, leaning in to capture your lips in a quick kiss as his hand under your shirt tickles up your ribs. “We kinda were in the middle of something”

“That we were” you acquiesce with a grin, hands joining the back of his neck to pull him back to your face again. His lips push against yours in a bruising kiss now, his free hand grasping onto your chin to part your mouth so he can slip his tongue in. He somehow manages to feel even closer to you when he works his tongue against yours, his kiss hungry and demanding as he softly grinds his hips against yours, his touch warm and impatient; your soft moan resonates within him when he cups your breast under your shirt, squeezing it softly.

He pulls away so the both of you can catch your breath. “Eager much?” you ask against his mouth, his lips still brushing against yours.

“I mean, three whole weeks of not being able to touch you baby.”

You smile, “Mhm” you mindlessly play with the curls at his nape, hands shifting to rest over his broad shoulders, your thumb gently rubbing over a small faded scar there. He presses his forehead against yours, his warm brown eyes boring into yours with that look you know all too well.

“I missed you” he mutters, hand smoothing over the surface of your stomach. You smile as you softly trace his face, the light stubble prickling the tips of your fingers.

“I know.” you press your lips against his again, hands shifting to grasp onto his hair; he lets out a faint groan when you bite onto his bottom lip as you pull away from the kiss. “Let me get on top of you” you demand, poking his stomach playfully.

“Oh yeah baby” he rolls onto the side, letting himself lay back down beside you. “Wouldn’t say no to that” he chuckles, tucking both his hands behind his head, a sly smirk growing over his face as you chuckle and press your hands over his bare torso, shifting to sit over his lap, your knees at either side of his hips.

You scoff when you adjust your position, softly grinding against him. “You’re fully hard already? Not even letting me work for it? Wow”

“You got that kinda effect on me,” he sighs softly, hands grabbing your hips, caressing your sides under your shirt. “I told you, three whole weeks of not being able to touch you”

You chuckle mockingly, leaning closer to his face. “Yeah, don't tell me you didn't touch yourself though” you whisper teasingly; he scoffs and wraps a hand behind your head to bring you closer, letting his mouth wander here and there against your neck.

“My hand is nothing compared to you” he grins between kisses. You shift to the side, still pressed close to him, your hand sliding down his torso and stomach to eventually reach under his boxers. He lets out a lewd groan when your hand closes around him, his nose nestling behind your ear as you start to stroke him slowly.

“My hand better?” you ask, your other hand cupping the back of his head as he breathes out against the skin of your neck, the brush of his lips warm against your skin. He hums approvingly, thumbs rubbing at either side of your hips; he always has to touch you one way or another, no matter the situation. His mouth always has to be occupied too; the brush of his lips ignites a warmth within you as he leaves faint kisses under your ear and down your neck to your collarbone, his forehead resting against your shoulder as he bucks softly into your touch.

“Feels so good baby” he mumbles, a loud moan leaving his mouth and his eyes squeezing shut when you twist your hand just the way he likes. “Fuck” he sighs, “You’re gonna get me off like that?”

“Got a problem with that commander?” you scoff in disbelief as you tease his slit with your thumb, your hand in his hair tugging on it so you can see his face.

He sighs a soft moan, his lust-blown eyes darting up to you. “No but– Fuck– I’d like to get inside you before I remember I actually have responsibilities even on my days off” he declares in a tone he knows by experience you can’t resist, his hand shifting to your thigh, caressing it up and down.

You sigh, “You’re so impatient it’s actually terrifying.” you say as you pull your hand out of the single piece of clothing covering him, made too tight now. “You should consider yourself lucky I can’t say no to anything you ask of me” he watches with a sly smile as you rid yourself of your underwear, sliding off his own before you move back to straddle him.

“I do consider myself lucky” he grins as he looks you up and down, his gaze full of love as he runs his hands up and down your thighs; his fingers are calloused from pushing blaster triggers and hitting the control panel buttons of ships, but the gesture is overflowing with affection. “Look at you” he croons. “C’mon babe,” he playfully swats your thigh as he shifts to get more comfortable on the bed. “Save an X-wing, ride a pilot” he teases, drawing a stupid chuckle out of you.

He huffs out a sigh of relief when you lower yourself down onto his cock, biting onto his bottom lip once you're fully seated as he looks down at where you're connected.

He frowns, looking back up at you when you don't move after that. “Something wrong?”

“No” you declare, not offering him any other explanation. He chuckles, confused as to why you're staying still over his lap, not moving an inch.

“What then. What are you doing babe” you try to hold back from smirking as you see him grow impatient, his fingers softly kneading the meat of your thighs, trying to make you roll your hips over him. “Move”

“No” you shake your head with an insolent smile. “You're inside me, that's it, that's what you wanted” he huffs out a disbelieving laugh, throwing his head back the same way he does when you crack him a shitty joke; he's not sure he's patient enough to really enjoy this kind of joke right at this moment. “We have all morning Poe” you whine, leaning over to sink your face into the crook of his neck and leave a trail of kisses that follow along his necklace.

“Fine” he grunts softly, his arm wrapping around you to let his hand rest against your back.

A surprised, sharp yelp escapes you when he – without warning – maneuvers and flips you around, making you land on your back; all that training happens to be useful in bed, after all. Your eyes squeeze shut when he pushes into you, the stretch of him unfamiliar again after what seemed to be ages.

“Three weeks baby, three weeks” he rams his hips into yours, tucking his face into your shoulder. “I don't have all morning”

You cup the back of his neck, nails softly digging in his skin as you hold onto him tight, your legs wrapping around him; he’s rutting into you like you’re gonna slip away from him, escape like smoke curling around his fingers and fading into oblivion. “Missed this so much,” he sighs into your ear, his words slightly scattered by the force of his movements. “Missed you so much”

You want to give him your reciprocation, but all that comes out of you is a broken whine when he manages to reach deeper inside you; your hands bury into his curls, slightly tugging on them in response, drawing the same kind of wrecked moan out of him.

“F–Fuck okay” he chokes out after a sharp thrust. “Don’t do that if you want me to last”

“What if I don’t want you to last”

He scoffs. “Then we’ll have to fuck again because I can’t get enough of you” he declares, pressing his mouth against yours to kiss you sloppily, your hand cupping the side of his face as he continues to fuck into you, not giving up on his rhythm. He hums as he desperately licks into your mouth, his thrusts growing messy when you purposefully pull on his hair again. “Sweetheart I’m not kidding” he warns in a breathy laugh, his forehead pressing against yours. “You’re gonna make me lose it”

You brush away the strands of hair falling over his face, “Then you better hurry making me come” you tease, making him huff out a sincere laugh.

But there is no challenge Poe Dameron doesn’t take seriously.

He fucks into you soft and deep, not letting up until he has you writhing underneath him, staving off his own release for yours. It almost feels like you’re melting into the mattress when you start to feel it, your fingers tightening in Poe's hair as he babbles incoherently into your ear, so close to his own peak; he finally lets himself go when you’re there, his stifled moan into your ear when he releases inside you extending the momentary haze buzzing in your head.

It almost feels like you black out for a second; “Are you okay my love?” Poe asks concerned by your absent, weak blinks as his hand cups your face, his thumb gently tracing back and forth against your cheek.

You offer him a small nod, and he shoots you a smile before kissing your forehead and jumping out of bed, coming back later with a washcloth to clean you up.

Then everything feels quiet again. The soft heaving of your breathing as his head rests over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours, the soft tickle of his fingers tracing circles and random shapes over any piece of bare skin he finds over you.

“I missed you too,” you declare in a weak mutter. “I didn’t say it back earlier.”

You don’t see his smile, but you know it is there as he leaves a kiss over the surface of your tummy. He hums softly as you absent-mindedly play with his hair.

“I can't wait for this war to be over.” he admits. “We'll settle on Yavin, in a nice house not too far from my dad's,” he exhales softly through his nose at the idea of it all before he continues, “We'll have mornings to ourselves, like this, and we will have breakfast in our backyard where we’ll grow all kinds of plants and trees from all over the galaxy” he smiles, earning a sweet, longing chuckle from you that seems to still in the air. He pauses, waits for a moment before he says it–

“I want to grow old with you.”

It’s in these moments that time feels like it slows down, but Poe sometimes wishes he could put this galaxy to a pause just so he could have more moments like these with you.

—

any and every comment is greatly appreciated!!

star wars taglist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron smut #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fluff #star wars #oscar isaac

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bosinclairsgff · 3 days

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Slashers reacting to you biting them

Includes: The Grabber, Otis Driftwood, Bo Sinclair

Warnings: kidnap, cussing abuse, NSFW mentioned

Not full on drawing blood type biting but love nibbles yk? Also I hate this but idk.

- Depending on Alberts mood, he’d either giggle and find it cute or he’d slap the shit out of you.

- It’s so hard to tell what he’s truly feeling so your careful when you first do it. He had been spending more time in the basement with you, sometimes holding you. So one day while he’s holding you, you grab his arm and lightly bite him, and holding him in your mouth for a moment. Immediately he’s frozen in place, not knowing how to react at first. “Why’d you do that dove?” He’d ask while holding you closer to him. He wouldn’t mind after you explain it’s kinda your love language.

- You read the room so wrong. Al is holding you sure, but the room feels off and he breathing heavy. You make the decision to slightly bite his arm, in a loving way like you had explained last time. This time though, he pushed you off his lap, you hit the concrete floor hard letting out a small yelp. He towers over you and kicks you directly in your stomach. You cry out in pure pain. “Please, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you mad, I’m so sorry!” You try to reason with him. “You dumb bunny. Such a dumb pathetic bunny.” He say’s delivering another blow to your stomach, knocking the breath out of you. Satisfied, he kneels down to look at you. Saying nothing he kindly pushes your hair out of your eyes. Albert then leaves without saying a word.

- Otis would take it as a kink or a way to kick of sexy time.

- Otis was working on one of his art projects, not paying much attention to you. “Otis?” You question standing by his chair and putting a hand on his shoulder. “What do you fucking want mama?” He says slightly annoyed. He turns around to look at you. “Can I sit on your lap while you work…please? I’ll sit still and be good I swear.” You say as you pout. Otis rolls his eyes but pats his lap. You happily take your stop on his lap. Straddling your legs over his thighs, facing him. After a second of looking in his eyes, you lay your head into the crook of his neck. You stay that way for a few minutes before you get the idea to slightly bite his neck. He lets out a deep sigh. “What the fuck are ya doing girl?” He questions. “I jus wanted to bite ya. I’m sorry.” You say feeling your cheeks heat up. Otis grips your ass and pulls you closer to him.

- You can only guess what happens next.

- Bo would also take it as a way to get in your pants.

- You were in the shop sitting on the counter watching Bo work. “I can feel ya staring at my ass y/n.” He chuckles, making your face turn red. Standing up and walking over to you, just to hold you in his arms for a moment. His arms wrap around your waist and his chins rest on the top of your head. You melt into his touch, closing your eyes and relaxing. After a few moments just resting with each other he lets go of you. You lightly grab his arm and kiss it before slightly biting it. He’s immediately turned on. “Woah I’m usually the one doin tha biting baby.” He jokes. “I don’t mind this though.” Bo closes the distance between you to and catches your lips with his.

- Pound town goes CRAZY, you do explain after though that it’s a love language. He doesn’t understand and will probably always take it as your down for a quick fuck.

#horror #horror fan #horror movie #horror movies #horror films #slasher x reader #slashers #house of wax #bo sinclair x reader #house of 1000 corpses #otis driftwood x reader #otis driftwood #the grabber x you #the grabber x reader #the black phone fanfic #slasher fucker #bosinclairsgff

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 2 days

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The Beast Wants to Tempt the Little Rabbit (Matias vs Clavis)

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.

Matias End

(If that's the case, I'll keep things civil.)

Emma: "Then I'll take you up on that offer, Prince Matias."

Matias: "Of course. Since I'm taking your time, I swear to do my best."

(Whoa, the charm radiating from his smile is overwhelming.)

Clavis: "Emma, you made the wrong choice."

Emma: "Your gratitude kinda freaked me out."

Clavis: "And how can you be sure Matias's gratitude won't freak you out?"

Clavis: "Listen, I established the Lelouch family motto for your sake."

Clavis: "Matias's gratitude is torture."

Emma: "That's rude, Prince Clavis."

Clavis: "Rude? Those in the know all agree on this."

Matias: "You always say things like that whenever I try to show my gratitude. I don't understand."

Clavis: "It's me who doesn't understand."

(Clavis is oddly insistent. But is Matias' way of showing gratitude really that weird?)

Matias: "Then, Miss Emma, as a start, let me give you this."

Emma: "..........."

Clavis: "See? This is what happens when you question my good intentions. You better take this to heart, okay?"

The place I chose upon Matias’ request was a cafe in a calm and quiet area of town.

It might not have been a suitable place to take a prince, but Matias didn’t seem to mind and whispered something to one of the guards without any concern.

A few minutes later, he placed a thick book on the table.

It was the law book I had only seen once before in the castle.

Emma: “Is this the law book of Rhodolite?”

Matias: “You have a keen eye. You really are talented.”

Emma: “I studied politics in the past.”

(I never thought I’d see a law book in a cafe.)

Matias: “Excellent. You seem like someone worth teaching.”

Emma: “Teaching?”

Matias: “As a token of my gratitude, I will give you a lecture.”

(!?)

Matias: “Laws are the rules of a country. However, the majority of the citizens are not familiar with them.”

Matias: “Aside from typical offenses like murder, theft, fraud, and disrespect, many people don’t know much about it.”

Matias: “Ignorance of the law might result in you accidentally breaking it and dealing with the consequences.”

Matias: “Furthermore, being familiar with it can protect you from being exploited when facing any form of harm.”

Matias: “Knowing the law is synonymous with protecting oneself.”

(I never considered this before.)

His words made perfect sense, and I found myself nodding along.

Clavis: “Emma, don’t fall for it. Lectures as a form of gratitude? If I did that, you’d complain it's harassment.”

Emma: "I won't complain. I actually enjoy learning new things."

Emma: "He's willing to teach me out of kindness, so I'll take it seriously."

Beside Clavis, who was holding his head in disbelief, Matias also widened his eyes in surprise.

(Why?)

Matias: "This is a first."

Matias: “You’re the first woman to accept my gratitude head-on.”

His smile exuded a melting sensuality.

(His charm is just too much!)

In fact, the women seated nearby were all blushing.

The occasional release of his dangerous charm seemed like it could kill someone.

(I guess hanging out with charming princes like Clavis, Nokto, Jin, and Leon made me develop some kind of tolerance.)

Clavis: “Have you ever wondered why women other than Emma don’t accept your gratitude?”

Matias: “They all said they weren’t interested in law.”

Clavis: “It’s good that you know the reason, but unfortunately, it’s too late now.”

Clavis: “Emma, you’re a rare woman, so I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Emma: “Prince Clavis, where are you going?”

Clavis: “I just remembered something urgent. I’ll pick you up when it’s over.”

Clavis: “I’m counting on you to entertain Matias. Ahahaha!”

(He’s making a run for it.)

Realizing the lecture was boring, Clavis made his escape.

Matias: "I knew this would happen. Clavis hasn't changed much since our school days."

Matias: "Whenever I try to offer my gratitude, he always tries to escape using all sorts of tricks."

Emma: "Did you and Prince Clavis attend the same school?"

Matias: "Yeah. There is a prestigious boarding school in Acroite where nobles from various countries gather."

Matias: "Some of the princes of Rhodolite studied there for a while."

Matias: "Clavis is one of them. I learned a lot of things from him."

Emma: "I had no idea. So, you became friends at school?"

Matias: "That's right. I used to talk a lot with Clavis and Jin."

Matias: "There was a saying back then that Jin was for the chest, Clavis for the thighs, and Matias for the hips."

Emma: "I-I see."

(It probably means Jin likes breasts, and Clavis likes legs.)

(So I guess Matias likes hips?)

I've heard Jin and Clavis talk about women's bodies a few times when we were at the castle, so maybe Matias was also part of that during their student days.

(I'm surprised. He seems far from being a pervert just by his appearance.)

???: "Kyaah!"

As we chatted, we heard a woman scream in the restaurant's doorway.

Before I could grasp the situation, Matias had already sprung into action, vaulting effortlessly over nearby tables and dashing out of the shop.

By the time I got up from my seat, he had already grabbed and twisted the man's hand outside the restaurant.

(He's fast!)

I hurriedly followed him outside.

Man: "Let go of me!"

The man, restrained by Matias, struggled with all his might.

However, Matias' hold remained firm.

He pressed the man against the nearby wall and grabbed him, securing his hand behind his back.

(He seems quite skilled at this.)

Matias: "I saw you dine and dash."

Matias: "While this act doesn't directly correspond to any specific crime in Rhodolite, consuming food or drink without intending to pay constitutes a clear case of fraud."

Matias: "Moreover, pushing aside a woman nearby during your escape could also be considered assault."

Matias: "Therefore, you're guilty. You better cooperate."

(Prince Matias?)

The person who was smiling just a few minutes ago was nowhere to be found.

Instead, his eyes—as cold and icy as snow—pierced sharply through the guilty man.

Even the surrounding onlookers seemed intimidated, showing signs of fear in response to his overwhelming presence.

(He's like a completely different person.)

(The way he looks at criminals and the way he looks at those who aren't are totally different.)

Man: "I had no choice! I was injured, lost my job, and had nothing left to eat."

Man: "If I didn't do this, I would've died."

Matias: "A crime is a crime. Your excuses hold no meaning."

Matias: "If you still wish to make excuses, do so in court."

Matias: "Whatever the reason, the law is something that must never be broken."

Matias: "Criminals have no right to beg for mercy."

(I'm trembling.)

As I clenched my fingertips, our eyes met.

Matias: "You, go get the nearest soldier."

Emma: "U-Understood!"

Coming back to my senses, I quickly left the scene.

Everything Matias said was logical. But for some reason, that logic seemed to stick in my mind.

(What is it that's bothering me?)

Matias: "We had an unexpected interruption, but now we can finally continue."

As we moved from the cafe to another shop, he once again presented the law book to me.

The man who committed the crime continued to plead for mercy even as the soldiers took him away.

It was a sight I couldn't forget.

(Prince Matias remained completely unfazed.)

Shifting my gaze from the law book to Prince Matias, I noticed he no longer wore that cold expression.

The sincere and earnest prince was now offering a lecture solely for my benefit.

(The stark contrast to who he was before caught me off guard.)

(I never imagined he could be so ruthless.)

(I'm not sure who he really is anymore.)

Matias: "Miss Emma."

Emma: "Yes?"

Pulled from the sea of my thoughts, I found him leaning forward, his hand resting gently on my forehead.

Matias: "You seem a bit distracted. You don't seem to have a fever, but if you're feeling unwell, please tell me."

Emma: "No, it's not that!"

(Crap, I spaced out. I need to focus.)

Matias: "Then is there some other reason?"

Emma: "Well..."

Emma: "It's a Rhodolite rule! You have to set aside some time to space out once a day!"

Matias: "I apologize for not being aware of such a rule. I've interfered."

(I ended up making an excuse like Clavis.)

Guilt weighed heavily on my heart.

Matias: "However, this poses a problem."

Matias: "If it's a rule, then I suppose you'll have to endure it for a little longer."

(Huh?)

As I tilted my head in confusion, Matias' face, enveloped in his enticing allure, gradually inched closer.

(What!?)

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Matias End ╎ Epilogue

#ikemen prince #ikepri matias #ikepri #ikepri jp #matias asbrink #ikepri translations

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izzytheloser12 · 3 days

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~~~~ More kaishin incorrect quotes~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi*

Kaito: Dom or sub?

Shinichi: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

~~~~~~

Kaito: You look good in that hoodie.

Shinichi: You know where else I'd look good?

Kaito, zero hesitation: My bed.

Shinichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Kaito: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Shinichi: WHAT

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Kaito: Shinichi, that’s gay.

Shinichi: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

~~~~~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi part 2*

Kaito: I like your new pants!

Shinichi: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Kaito: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Shinichi: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Kaito: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Shinichi: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kaito.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: You know, Kaito, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi, why are you crying?

Shinichi: This book is so sad!!

Kaito, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Shinichi: your life is really sad kaito

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shinichi: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Kaito, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaito: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Shinichi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did it hurt when you fell-

Kaito: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Shinichi: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Kaito: ...

Shinichi: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Shinichi: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Bonjour, Kaito. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Kaito: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Shinichi: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Kaito: WHAT

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Kaito: This is a lie.

Kaito: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kaito: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I'm at a loss for words!

Kaito: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Shinichi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Why are you like this??

Shinichi: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~~~~~

Kaito, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Shinichi, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

~~~~~~

Shinichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Kaito: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Shinichi: Holy shit-

~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi and I are no longer dating.

Shinichi: Kaito, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

#shinichi kudo #dcmk #kaishin #magic kaito #kaito kuroba #kuroba kaito #kudo shinichi #detective conan #detective conan kaishin #dcmk memes #incorrect dcmk quotes #(lol I think I added to many)#(oh well)#(this was fun to do!!!!)

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hunieday · 2 days

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Nikaido Yamato - Drama Collection vol.2 Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Natsume Minami: Good evening, Nikaido-san.

Natsume Minami: I heard that we'll be appearing together on a variety show next time to promote the drama. I look forward to working with you.

Nikaido Yamato: Hey there, Natsume-chan. Thanks for your courtesy.

Nikaido Yamato: So about that show... they said the theme this time is "youth" in relation to the drama, and they sent a bunch of surveys about it

Nikaido Yamato: What did you answer, Natsume-chan...?

Natsume Minami: Oh. Aren't you looking forward to the talk on the show?

Nikaido Yamato: Well yes, but I'm just wondering about the direction you’re gonna be taking

Natsume Minami: Direction?

Nikaido Yamato: Are you gonna answer it lightheartedly or seriously?

Natsume Minami: Well, I think we need to be serious.

Natsume Minami: That's why I even answered the 5th "Please describe your flavor of youth" question seriously.

Natsume Minami: I wrote that it “tasted like milk tea."

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, so that's what "flavor of youth" means, as in what you drank the most back then.

Nikaido Yamato: Well, ŹOOĻ sells the tough-guy image well so you should be fine with that answer.

Natsume Minami: What do you mean back then? I was talking about when I was in school, I was really into drinking black tea.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, I see!?!?

Natsume Minami: Oh my. What did you think I was talking about?

Nikaido Yamato: No, my bad. It's nothing.

Natsume Minami:

Natsume Minami: So, what's your flavor of youth, Nikaido-san?

Nikaido Yamato: Uhhhhhhhhh...

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe melon...

Natsume Minami: How adorable. You like it, don't you?

Nikaido Yamato: Well, yeah...

Natsume Minami: Did you also eat it during those "back then"s you mentioned?

Nikaido Yamato: Forget about that LMAO

Nikaido Yamato: But maybe we’re too young to be calling it "youth", I just liked it as a kid and used to eat it a lot.

Natsume Minami: I’m guessing “youth" refers to teenage years, but it's complicated to define. There were other questions about what we did after school.

Nikaido Yamato: I see. You were busy with work, Natsume-chan.

Natsume Minami: Yes. Unfortunately, I was always so busy with work that I don't remember much of my school days.

Natsume Minami: If anything, I think now feels more like youth for me.

Nikaido Yamato: I get that.

Nikaido Yamato: Hanging out with those guys feels like I’m back in junior high.

Nikaido Yamato: We do things like chugging soda in the middle of summer, having snowball fights in winter, it’s like I’m doing kid-like stuff all year round.

Natsume Minami: Sounds fun. It's like having a little family.

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe LMAO

Nikaido Yamato: ŹOOĻ kinda feel like siblings too

Natsume Minami: Wait a moment. Who's the oldest?

Nikaido Yamato: That’s what you’re concerned about?

Natsume Minami: It's extremely crucial.

Nikaido Yamato: If we ignore the age, the oldest would be Inumaru, then you, then Mido, and the youngest would be Isumi I guess...?

Natsume Minami: I see. Our interpretations aren’t too off, but Mido-san and Isumi-san could probably be reversed.

Nikaido Yamato: Huh? Mido’s the youngest?

Natsume Minami: Since he’s a cute guy.

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe Natsume-chan is the oldest son after all...

Natsume Minami: You're also quite cute, Nikaido-san.

Nikaido Yamato: Where though!?!?!? I'm three years older than you, I’m a grown man who loves beer!

Natsume Minami: During skateboard practice you asked, "Natsume-chan, if I fall, will you help me?"

Natsume Minami: I thought the way you were trying to tug at my heartstrings by acting like a spoiled child on purpose was cute.

Nikaido Yamato: Don't say it was on purpose LMAO

Natsume Minami: Your character this time resembles you in that aspect quite a bit.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, he was pretty spoiled wasn’t he?

Nikaido Yamato: He couldn't accept his best friend leaving, so he blamed everyone around him for his problems and vented his bad days to his friends so they would comfort him

Nikaido Yamato: Wait... I kinda feel like I’m having déjà vu...

Natsume Minami: Oh?

Natsume Minami: In reality, all he wanted was to skate with his best friend again, but he couldn't say that one word, so he struggled with despair all the while.

Natsume Minami: He was unable to be fully emotionless, so he couldn’t help but show vulnerability and kindness to those who loved him, which resonates with you deeply.

Nikaido Yamato: Damn. You really went into details

Natsume Minami: It's fun. I enjoy discussing acting with you.

Nikaido Yamato: I feel the same thing. I feel like we fit each other’s style more every time we’re acting together, Natsume-chan.

Natsume Minami: Are you flirting with me?

Nikaido Yamato: So wanting to work with you more is the same as flirting with you now?

Natsume Minami: You're making me blush.

Nikaido Yamato: Liar LMAO

Natsume Minami: It's true. You said "I just wanted to laugh and skate again. It’s enough for me that I was able to do it today." in the script. Your expression at that moment was just like that.

Nikaido Yamato: That’s the one thing you praised me for on the spot, it's embarrassing to hear it again in text

Natsume Minami:

Natsume Minami: Being able to discuss our work like this feels like youth to us, doesn't it?

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe you’re right! I'll write that the coffee I'm drinking now is the flavor of youth.

Natsume Minami: Can I match your answer? I was just drinking some too.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, what a coincidence. Though the flavor of youth turned out quite bitter.

Natsume Minami: It's a special flavor, just like us.

#idolish7 #i7 #ainana #idolish7 translation #nikaido yamato #natsume minami #drama collection #rabbit chat #drama collection vol.2

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guessimwritingficsagain · 1 day

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It's lonely at the end of the world (until it's not)

Summary : Joel meets a woman on patrol.

Warnings : Mature content, MDNI, reader has been raped and it's clearly at the center of the story (not byJoel, though), ANGST.

Tags : Just ask.

———

Joel heard the breathing first, a rapid staccato that spelt fear in its rhythm. He turned the corner to a gun pointed to his face and as always, his mind went to this place, this corner it created for itself so he could survive.

Funny, he numbly thought, how his treacherous brain still managed to keep him alive although he’d wanted to die so many times.

He looked ahead to see a woman, clothes stiff with dirt. Her hands were steady, and she stood tall, but when he met her eyes he saw it- fear.

And then, voices-

Men.

‘Come on, she couldn’t have gone far.’ Said one.

‘Why are we even botherin’ ? I mean, we had our fun, right ? We’ll find another one. She was kinda borin’ anyway.’ Added another.

A third voice, then :

‘She killed Johnny and took his gun. We findin’ the bitch.’

Three men meant three guns. But that woman still hadn’t shot him, and that’s when he saw it : two scars, on each side of her mouth, shaped into a smile. And that’s when he decided :

‘How many, total ?’ He whispered.

After a breath, one of her hands left the handle of the gun and raised three fingers in the air.

‘Guess you took care of Johnny boy for me, right ?’ He answered.

She didn’t laugh but her eyes widened.

‘There’s a closet right there. Get in. Stay hidden.’

And then he added, because he was a bit of an asshole but that had kept him alive for so long :

‘Word of advice : stop breathin’ like that, unless you wanna get killed.’

She slowly lowered the gun and glanced to the closet.

‘Go on’ Joel urged her. ‘Get in there.’

When he heard the click of the closet door closing, he got to work.

And that’s how he met you.

———

You watched as this stranger dumped the bodies outside and then :

‘I’m Joel, by the way. Joel Miller.’

You nodded. He waited, then sighed, and added :

‘You take one of the beds. I’ll keep watch from the couch. You can go your own way or you can come with me, come mornin’’

You nodded again, a bit lost, a bit weary, a bit everything because that man had just killed three men in cold blood but had never asked to surrender your weapon. Hadn’t asked - demanded - anything else either.

There was a part, locked far away in your brain, that remembered what kindness was like, felt like - you were ten and the neighbor next door would offer you a cookie just because, you were eight and your friend at school (Emmy was her name, you remembered) split her chocolate bar with you, just because.

Laying on the bed, you watched the ceiling - there were cracks everywhere, you wouldn’t be surprised if some bit of paint fell on you during the night.

Mostly, you waited- waited for him to come and collect.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t come.

Joel Miller stayed on the couch, and when it finally hit you, when you understood, you cried, face buried in the mattress- and your crying was a silent thing, the bastard child of desperation and relief.

The morning light came and with it you could look at Joel properly and you saw him as someone else, anew. Here was this man, his broad shoulders, his confidence, willing to give you a home. You wanted to both run out of distrust and cry out of disbelief. You rode with him, arms tight around his waist, head on his back and that’s when you heard it - the steady beat of his heart. I changed something in you, like something that had been dead and buried was suddenly, even though shyly, blossoming right there, in between your ribs.

You stopped at a place too clean to be abandoned and Joel said- no, announced :

‘We stay here tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll reach Jackson.’

Once again the words got stuck in your throat. There was something, there, stuck, something that had settled in after one too many ‘you gonna be nice for me, right ?’ Right before you heard the sound of a belt buckle being undone.

You took a bed, he took watch, but you couldn’t sleep, so, arms hugging yourself, you kneeled right beside where he was sat on a chair, gun ready. You cheek sat on his thigh and he tensed, weary and ready to bolt.

‘Whatever you think might be happenin’ here, it ain’t, lady.’ He warned you.

I know. You wanted to say, but the words were stuck, they’d been stuck for so long you didn’t even remember what your voice sounded like. And past-you would find it both pathetic and worrisome that you would so easily trust that man and seek comfort in him. But past-you was gone. So you kept your head on his thigh and fell asleep just like that.

———

‘Alright’, Maria said, ‘we have a few spare bedrooms so you can get one, have some space.’

Past-you would have thanked her. Past-you would have shaken Joel’s hand, thanked him, and would have taken the room.

Past you was still gone, and probably never coming back.

The movement is blurry - will remain blurry, probably forever - how you grasp Joel’s arm, words chocking you because desperate as you are you can’t give them a voice, and then you cry, and though the moment is blurry you will always remember how bad it is, in that moment, to not be able to say please, I need you, you saved me, please.

———

They let you stay with him.

You’d come to understand that about Jackson : there were rules, but you could do things if you wanted.

They let you stay with Joel and on the first night, in that strange bedroom, eyes wide open despite the bone-crushing exhaustion you were feeling, you got up from that very nice bed, and walked, bare-footed, wearing soft clothes, your body clean for the first time in ages, you knocked on Joel’s bedroom door.

When you opened it, Joel started :

‘Listen, you don’t owe me-‘

To be cut off when you slipped under the covers and put your head on his chest. His heartbeat was in a bit of a frenzy and it did take him a while to relax and put his arm around you.

And so you slept.

The first night.

The second.

The third.

The tenth.

And on, and on.

Until you lost count.

You’d wake up wrapped around him, like an octopus, really. And you would have felt ashamed if not for the fact that you’d learnt to know that Joel Miller was oh so lonely.

You still didn’t talk, so he did it for the both of you, would put a cup of coffee in your hands and talk about Ellie - who didn’t want to see him anymore but he kept an eye out. There was that time he came back from patrol with a bunch of books about sign language and offered :

‘I know you write things when you wanna say somethin’, but maybe we could just- y’know, try this.’

———

You’re at the Bison when it happens. You’re with Maria and Tommy, and Joel’s a the bar getting a refill. You’re watching him - you’re always watching, as if he’ll disappear. And this woman, this really pretty woman, slides up to him and starts talking. And then she makes him laugh. And he stays there, for quite a while, drinks forgotten for a second, or a minute, or an eternity.

You leave before he comes back.

When he comes home you’re on the couch reading a book. You’re distracted as soon as he comes in, though, but you don’t get the chance to pretend because he sits right next to you, one arm around your shoulders, on arm on your waist, and he whispers :

‘Remember that day when you came home from the gardens with Theo ? Can you even imagine how mad I was ? ‘Cause I was. I want you be be mine but I never thought you’d want that.’

You nod, you nod so hard and you think you might cry- and you do cry, because then, Joel chases away a tear with his thumb and coos :

‘Baby, calm down. I’m yours, too.’

And for the first time in years you’re facing a man who will demand nothing but will ask what you want and who will, no matter how broken you are, treat you with patience and just- wait.

You don’t want to wait.

You nod again, get up and go to the bedroom. Joel follows, and then watches as un undress, slowly. He’s still as a statue, eyes wide. You’re naked, scars mapping your body on open display. You reach for him and it’s like he snaps, naked as you are before you even know it. You smile at him.

———

You smile at his and it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing, precious beyond mesure. You smile at him and he wants to bury himself in the cracks of your ribs and keep you safe

Safe

He touches your breasts first, because he has thought about them, about how soft they would look and feel. And they are soft. He touches, nibbles, licks. He finds a home, right there, where your breasts meet your ribs- where you’re the softest. Or maybe it’s not just a home he finds, it’s a church : his nose full of your scent, his tongue heavy with the taste of your skin, he thinks maybe he has found God again.

He’s afraid, though. Afraid to be too rough. You’ve left him notes about what happened to you, written in the quiet of the night. He knows.

He knows.

He says

‘If I could go back, I would take my time killin’ them. Limb by limb, baby.’

I know, you sign, and he gets up to kiss you, one hand on your jaw and one hand on your heart.

———

Taglist

@pedritobalmando @amidjarin @ajeff855 @justpedropascal @sara-alonso @sarahjkl82-blog @amidjarin @sara-alonso@justpedropasc@mrsbentallmadge @farfromjustordinary @hnt-escape @kirsteng42

#joel miller x reader #joel miller/reader #pedro pascal imagine #joel miller

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bored-trans-lesbian · 2 days

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So....

Spoilers for Fantasy High Junior Year, as of episode 17

Anyone else hoping Brennan wasn't just gonna keep having every dragon and dragonborn be evil, because that's kinda boring and a *little* problematic to make a single race where they are always, every time, evil... I guess we still have that dragonborn who Antiope Jones fucked during her adventure?

'cause like not only was Osin turned by Rage, but he and his grandma were tight with Kalvaxis. Cool. I guess just kill dragons on sight, they are just always villains. Coulda thrown in a *single* dragonborn NPC among all these clubs Riz is in, who's not evil, but nah.

To be clear: I like fantasy high, I like Brennan, or Bleem as you all like to call him, I just think it's fair to point out criticism in the writing when I have it. Not calling Brennan a racist but people have been saying they hope Osin isn't evil for this very reason, and they were right to be worried.

Edit: I just remembered, chromatic dragons also typically are very territorial and hate each other, which Brennan confirmed freshman year. Why was Osin's grandma *tight* with Kalvaxis of all dragons? Not only is he another chromatic dragon, he's a *red* dragon, aaand a wierdo who spends his gold this reveal seems designed to just make us hate Osin without thinking about the implications

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjr spoilers

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arcandoria · 23 hours

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Character Interview: Zander

tagged by @dreamskug, heavily inspired by her and @lokiina's take at the interview!

NICKNAME:

Zander. Kurt calls me Alec but that's just for him. Callsign back during service was Princess and the fuckers still use it sometimes.

GENDER:

Male.

STAR SIGN:

Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Virgo Rising. I like learning useless stuff.

HEIGHT:

Aaand the important stuff I don't remember. Uh... 5'7" I think.

ORIENTATION:

Always been exclusively into guys... Wait a second.

NATIONALITY / ETHNICITY:

That a bait question? Born in the ol' Washington D.C, yeah. If you're trying to fish childhood info on Madam President you're asking the wrong guy. She's my first cousin once removed, we didn't grow up together or were close.

DOG OR CAT PERSON:

FAVE FRUIT, SEASON, FLOWER, SCENT:

I love pomegranates. Pain in the ass to get, even more of a pain in the ass to get the seeds. Season... When do we get anything but sunny polluted or rainy polluted here? Don't like the wet season though, acid rain has a way to get where it shouldn't. Not really a flower guy, but my mom had a huge garden with Angel's Trumpets so I also kinda like them. As for scent, I'll go with tobacco.

COFFEE, TEA OR HOT CHOCOLATE:

Don't really have a preference to be honest. Kurt likes his coffee though so that's usually what I get as well.

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP / NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH:

As for the other question...

DREAM TRIP:

Ah fuck, no idea. There wasn't a place we didn't go when I was little. Guess the only place I haven't put my boots on is the moon.

FAVE FICTIONAL CHARACTER:

There's this old ass cartoon, Powerpuff Girls? Thing is ancient. The devil guy with lobster claws, HIM? I like that freak so much.

RANDOM FACT:

I admittedly had so much fun with this LMAO - the little background I came up with in my head was 2080 Zander, just newly wed to Kurt and being pestered constantly by the media for an interview. Thus this was born...

Tagging, no pressure: @ronqueesha @therealnightcity @a-pirate @camelliagwerm @elvenbeard & anyone else who sees this and wants to give it a try!

#cyberpunk 2077 #alexander myers #oc meme #oc interview #halk.png #long post

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ratguy-nico · 3 days

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Okey so I saws the last episode of Dunmeshi and I need to talk about the shapeshifters.

I think is pretty obvious which belong to wich, meaning who on the team remembered each one that specific way... if you watched you got me

Im not gonna explain every single one but the last shapeshifters the closest to the real ones.

STARTO

MARCILLE!!!

This one belong 100% to Laios and is awesome, Laios can not remeber the little details about his friens, like Chilichuck scarf or Senshi's helmet so he doesn't remeber Marcille's hair multiple hairstyle so he just get her hair free BUT surprinsingly he does remeber the detail in her spellbook CAUSE HE'S BEEN STUDYING IT that is such a detail and I love it.

But I love more the implication that Laios think highley of the love Marcille feels for Falin, believing at heart that Marcille would do anything to save his sister. This man doesnt know what lesbians are but he certainly not what love is

CHILCHUCK!!!

Okey I'll be honest i have my doubts with this one, but for the sake of the ship let's say this was Senshi XD I'm kidding, this man belong to Senshi.

What is my doubt? Since Senshi and Marcille are from long-lived races they both infantilize Chilchuck and Laios, BUT this copy is not the baby face one, meaning is not the most infantileze one, But most important the tools of this copy were mostly right.

Marcille doesn't give a shit about Chichuck's tools, she doesn't need to or want to but in guess who in fricking EPISODE 2 (so soon in the anime and already a ship) have a whole arc where he observes Chilchuck works up close, developing a deep respect for what Chilchuck does getting familiar with said tools

Implications: Senshi watch this man up close, giving him more attention than any other member of the party, he is the one he rely on the most, but he's predjuice are strong and he cannot help thinking of him as a cute little child SICK and not in a good way thats you future husband >:0

y por ultimo pero no menos importante

SENSHI!!!!

GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ejem this is from Chilchuck and I live for it

What can I say that you dont already know?

not-Senshi being the handsome one

Chilchuck inmediatly noticing the lack of the helmet detail in the Laios copy

the fact that when confronted with the fact that not-Senshi is more handsome than the real one (which rude, Marcille we can not all be lesbians like you >:0) he's just like "No, Senshi has always been handsome" re ofendido XD

y OJITO Laios said cool, Chilchuck just said Senshi has always been like that LIKE WHAT? HANDSOME? YEAH WE KNOW!

(though this was also a very gay moment for Laios)

LOOK HOW IS THE REAL CHILCHUCK WHO'S MORE RILED UP BY HANDSOME SENSHI

and the gratuitous beef to my man wtf what do you mean dumb looking one? XD no puedo es demasiado XD

This episode was too much fun the whole characters interaction just got me.

The memes the gifs LAIOS BARKING DOG LAIOS IS REAL

and ... the way I developed an instant crush on Itsuzumi here:

NOTE I don't actually have a crush on Izutsumi, I know her from the manga and she is pretty much a cat, which cute, but ... not my type lets just say that.

But in this shot they are just my tipe of guy, haven't been touch for a single ray of sun on their, have never eat a proper meal, doesn't even register the concept and doesn't know what you mean by wash hair? what is that some kinda of joke?

#I didn't check the grammatics sorry #sino me da la flojera #I will check it later #this is just me talking to much about Dungeon Meshi #just so you know #XD #I just enjoyed this episode so much #and they feed me #this episode was made for me #for my little shipper heart #chilchuck #senshi #chilchuck x senshi #they have a ship name?#i need to know #dungeon meshi #tragones y mazmorras

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heartbreakgrill · 3 days

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Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 7; "Stay here, honey."

a/n: tehe hi friends! we havent spoken much so...the tortured poets department was literally written for daisy and oliver, that's all i gotta say. i listened to i can fix him (no really i can) and guilty as sin this entire writing sesh. i missed yall tho! i feel like i havent written in 5ever. anyways enjoy friends :)

“Jesus, just pick it up.”

Oliver squinted his tired eyes at his phone screen. His body was twisted around, his neck arching to try to read the contact name that was flashing across his screen. This was the fourth time they had tried calling him. I was snug against his side, occupying the rest of his strength. I went to move away a bit, just to allow him some room to answer the phone without being contorted like a pretzel.

He felt me tug back from his hold and immediately set the phone back onto his bedside table. The screen was faced up. It was probably just me, me and my stupid naivety- but I was touched that he set it that way. My stupid belief that I meant just as much to him as he did to me made it so. Trust, love. Two feelings I had when I was with him that were now more familiar than the anger and fear I used to be consumed by.

Oliver latched his other hand, now free, around my back. His fingers splayed out around my hip, nose nuzzling into the bare crevice of my neck. I sunk into his body, an anchor sinking into cold, salty sea water.

“Eh, fuck ‘em. They’re just taking time away from me and my flower.”

I snorted at the pet name, though I secretly (not so-secretly) loved. “You’re so cringey sometimes.”

“Cringey?” He reeled his chin back, glaring down at me with those icy hazel eyes. “Girl…”

“Girl!” My mouth widened as the word so easily fell through his lips. I fought against giggles that were winning. “Who are you? Where’s Oliver?”

His laughter was deep, steady, chest rocking beneath my head, “Shh, don’t tell anyone. I’m his twin brother, Isaac. Oliver is on a top secret mission. He said you’ll always be in his heart, but he must go, fulfill his duty as a spy.”

“What the fuck,” I stated, nuzzling my head in bare chest in hopes the escape his jokes. I let out a small sigh as I fed into his humor, “You don’t have to lie to me, Isaac. I know he’s off with his secret girlfriend. Just, if you can speak to him, let him know that I won’t cry over him. I won’t miss him. Besides, his twin brother’s kinda…hot.”

“Secret girlfriend? What are you even talking about?”

Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t trained to read body language. Maybe it would’ve gone over my head if I didn’t know him, the very shell of him, so well. I could have looked past it, could’ve turned it over in my head, blurred the lines, pretended like I didn’t know the way his eyes flickered, disruption taking over his hazel pupils, as he glanced, so minutely, to his cell phone.

And, maybe it was me. Maybe I was really that insecure. Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I’d never really learn to trust him, based on the entirety of our situation.

I think Oliver noticed the flicker that tilted at the corners of my lips because his face fell, just a bit. And he rushed to cover it up, “There is no secret girlfriend, darling. I promise you that.”

And he did what he was so subconsciously genius at- he manipulated the situation, moved on from it, by wrapping me up, pressing the tip of his nose to mine, and saying, “You are my one and only, Daisy. The only one I want. Need.”

I was stupid, like I always was, and kissed him.

We continued on that morning, laying around like we always did, in the early hours of the dawn, long before anyone would wake up. They had a show later, but Oliver didn’t care about getting rest. He wanted- needed, he claimed- to be with me. I guess his idea of resting involved fucking me and kissing me and feeding me with his ownership.

He always asked the strangest questions, always reminiscent of that first night on the roof. He asked like he was trying to memorize the nocks on my bones, prophesied my future in a romantically dramatic way. It was usually when we were laying around like this, silence comfortable in our breaths.

Today’s was formed as more of a statement, curious intonation, “Tell me more about your mom.”

It took me by surprise, like he almost always did. It forced me to slow my own thoughts for a moment, articulate my memories, and find delicate words. Mostly, I wondered, “Why do you wanna know that?’’

Oliver was forced to think now, but he didn’t have much of a response, “I don’t know. I was just…wondering, I guess. I mean, you’ve told me your dad’s an ass, but you had to have gotten your beauty somewhere.”

I knew he used that compliment in a much more meaningful way than the surface level allowed it to be understood. So, I blushed, tilted my head, “Well, I could talk for hours about her. Don’t want your ears to bleed.”

“Nonsense, my love. Your voice is music to my ears.”

I nuzzled my nose to his cheek. Then, I mustered up the courage to fight my sadness and began with, “She was…literally everything to me and Sam. She…dad left when I was 5. Sam, 12. Mom was, like…30? I think? So young. She opened up her own flower shop not long before he left. But, it wasn’t nearly enough money for us to live off of. So, we, like, moved into the tiny ass apartment that was above the shop. It smelled like Chinese food because of the restaurant. And, sometimes, that mixed with the flowers. And my allergies are terrible! And, not to mention, mom smoked. So…it was rough. Sam and I shared a room, so we were together more than we should have been. We were…we were so mean to mom. We, like…took out dad’s absence on her, the fact that we had to live in this shitty apartment. Meanwhile, she was just…this ball of light. She’d stay up till 3am, in the shop, blasting Taylor Swift, arranging flowers, writing this silly little poem book she hid beneath her mattress and thought I never found and read. She picked up shifts at the Chinese restaurant literally every day. She never took a day off, not even on holidays. God, she must have been fucking miserable. But…no matter what…she was, just, like…kind. I think…no, nevermind.”

I sniffled and cut my own words off, teary eyes shutting. I didn’t want to be all sappy and emotional in front of Oliver, especially not at this time of day. As I tried to steady my breathing, Oliver’s arms tightened around me.

“Hey,” he swept a hand to my cheek, drawing my eyes to his, “Daisy…keep going. Please.”

“I think Sam really misses her. He…he’d help her out, with chores, making dinner, getting the trash cleaned up when she’d be overwhelmed and forget about it all. And at the time he resented her. But, he was a teenager. He didn’t know any better. But he beats himself up over it. I just…wish he’d be kinder to himself.”

“And what about you?” Oliver whispered once I had let a pregnant pause of silence go.

I looked up at him, struck by the question, like always, “What…about me.” My eyes drifted as my mind wandered, “I…I’d sneak downstairs, far too often, watch her from the doorway while she danced, sang, drank cheap wine, tossed flower petals all around. She’d always catch me. I was a noisy kid. But, she’d never punish me. She’d grab my little hand, drag me into the room with her, play all our favorite Taylor songs.”

Oliver cracked a joke which burst a ray of sunshine through the sadness layering itself overtop the room, “God, now I feel terrible for making fun of you.”

I punched him in the stomach, closed fist splaying out into a gentle palm on his belly. “You should. She meant a lot to me and my mom. I…she’s why Sam got into music. She had this- this beautiful voice. She’d write songs, along with her poems, and record them on this tape player.”

“Where is it now? Back at your apartment?”

“No,” I shook my head, “at hers. We never really cleaned it out. Sam still pays the lease.”

“And the flower shop?”

“A stupid fucking smoothie bar. I was really hoping one of us would take it over, run it, keep her alive. But…it’s just not feasible. Too expensive.” I’d always felt guilty for that- not investing in mom’s memory. I felt like I’d buried her back in my hometown and sealed shut whatever conscious thoughts I had of her in her grave with her rotting body.

It was just too much. She gave us everything and the world failed her, killed her. Every ounce of light that had been in her eyes was completely spoiled by the time the cancer had taken over.

The thought made me shutter. Oliver noticed and brushed a soothing hand through my hairline. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“No, no,” I tapped his stomach, “we should. I never really…never really mention her to anyone. This is nice.”

Oliver kissed my temple sweetly, “I agree. So, tell me about these late night dance parties you’d have.”

And, so, we spent the next few hours talking about my mom. Her smile, the inky flowers she had wrapped around her elbow, the way she’d let me stand on her toes while we waltzed across the shop.

We talked and talked. I cried and Oliver wiped my tears. He told me he’d give Taylor Swift another try.

And I found myself falling further.

Then, it was suddenly nearing 8am, when I knew for sure my brother’s alarm would be going off. So, we finished quickly with whatever we’d been doing. Then, Oliver helped me get dressed, which took much longer than it should’ve with two people pulling one person’s shirt over her head. It was because he stuck my head through, then dipped his head to my stomach, tracing my abdomen with wet kisses.

I giggled and shrunk away from the ticklish feeling. He laughed and chased me with his strong hands, encasing my hips with his splayed fingers. I tried pushing his touch away, writhing like a worm, but he was able to plant more kisses onto my skin.

Then his phone started ringing again.

Our movements paused. I slowly pulled the shirt the rest of the way down, meeting his eyes as my vision was cleared from that blockage. His hands moved, passively, to his sides. His body language, that distant, distracted look in my eyes burned.

“Oliver,” I accidentally whispered, then, “just answer it.”

He knew. He knew it was a challenge, a probe at the situation. He knew I was testing him. And, if he failed, if he refused to pick up the phone and answer the call, I’d run out.

I think that- losing me, watching me walk away- was just something he could not deal with right now. So, he made up some excuse while slinking over to the phone, “Probably just someone from the label. Or a stupid spam caller. No big deal.”

I was still facing away from him, still small, shrunken in on myself, when I said, to no one but the air, “Please.”

He didn’t hear me. “Hello?”

I turned around to face him, watching the muscles on his face carefully, paying attention to how he reacted to whoever was on the line. After a moment, he pressed the speaker button, and held the screen towards my vision.

“Spam,” Oliver scrunched his nose as he hung up.

Intuition, maybe jealousy, nibbled at my skin like some flesh-eating piranha. I gave one shake of my head, easily falling back into the casual, comfortable air that was routine between us. I smiled, a joke on my lips to push us past the awkwardness, “So, what kind of top secret mission is Oliver on? Drugs? Or…war?”

“Oh, all of the above!” He dramatically replied.

“Well, you tell Oliver that I need to be getting back to my own bed,” I tapped his chest, awaiting him to let his arms loose.

But, he squeezed tighter, even wrapping his occupied hand around me, “No! Please! Stay!”

“Won’t you ever get tired of me taking up space in your bed?” I giggled at his hair, tickling my neck.

He hummed a rejection, “Never. This is, like, our own secret sanctuary. Here, in this room, we can be whoever we want.”

I focused on his eyes, touching my nose to his. Then, he kissed me before mindlessly reaching behind himself to set his phone back up.

Face down.

I felt like throwing up.

The feeling was worse when I was alone, leaving his apartment like I had just signed an NDA. I tried my hardest not to overthink things, but considering our precarious relationship, this was a very difficult thing to do.

Somewhat luckily, Oliver had been normal the rest of our time together, easy-going, non-suspicious. That’s how someone who didn’t have a secret girlfriend should act. So, why couldn’t I be satisfied with that?

(Why did he place his phone face down? Why had the look in his eyes told me something different, something worse-?)

It would have made so much sense to find out that he did, in fact, have a girlfriend. After all, he’d been telling me all summer how unavailable he was. This would make so much more sense than the mindless, kind of shitty excuses he had for not being able to commit to me. Was it, then, my fault for getting involved with him? For fucking a taken man? Perhaps I’d pushed myself onto him, forcing the situation. No, no, it couldn’t have been. After all, he’d sought me out numerous times.

And, if this were the case, I was supposed to then end things? As soon as possible? Find her social media, send a fucking hey girly text message, throw myself off of a bridge in the process?

The way he kissed me when I left, the way he whispered, “I’ll miss you. You should come to the show tonight. My shining star. You’d make it all worth it. Until then, beautiful,” against my cheek, his eyelashes fluttering against my skin- there was no way I was the side piece. He was too invested in me.

Maybe she wasn’t real. Maybe he didn’t have a girlfriend. No, really- he just couldn’t have a girlfriend. It felt impossible. He was too…too caring, too gentle with me. He treated me so delicately it…just-

“Shit! Sorry!”

I had not been watching where I was going once I left Oliver’s room, which was extremely irresponsible of me. Anyone of our friends, my brother for Christ’s sake, could be walking these halls, on their way to visit the very person’s I’d just vacated. It was worse this week because Oliver’s room was on a different floor than everyone else’s. I had no way of excusing myself if I was caught up here. All I could do was be careful and hide when I heard someone familiar.

Yet, again- I was fucking stupid. I was careless. Mindless.

And I had run right into Adam.

“Daisy!” He looked up from his phone, still safe in his clutches because I’d only knocked into his left shoulder. “Shit, sorry. I’m a clutz.”

I forced out a chuckle, trying to seem chill, like I hadn’t just been having sex- 3 times- by his best friend, boss, lead singer of his band, my brother’s best friend.

“Oh, hey, Adam! No worries! I have plenty of bruises to prove I’m even more of a mess. What’re you up to?”

If I could gain control over the situation, be the one to ask the questions first, maybe then I could worm my way out of it without being exposed.

Then, a distant, deadly memory blared through my skull like a freight train. Last week, backstage. Adam, telling me where Oliver was, encouraging me to go to him. A knowing smile.

Fuck. This hole was deeper than I could ever crawl out of. Maybe he- maybe…maybe. Maybe he forgot-

“Daz…” he knew. He knew. Adam knew. He tilted his head, flicked his brows, gave a smile that suggested I just give up the facade already.

Before he could go on, I interrupted him, “Listen- just…please, just…no lectures, okay? I can handle myself. I know you guys all think Oliver’s this, like, bad person. But, he’s not. And, like- even if he is, I can handle it. I got it. I don’t need to be told what to do or warned or treated like a child. I- Oliver’s…it’s, just…you guys don’t know, okay? We have…I know it seems, like shitty, to you, probably. But…it’s really good. We have fun and, and we like each other…and that’s all that matters. Your opinions don't matter.”

As I went on, Adam’s face contorted into one of confusion, shock. Like he wasn’t computing the information I was messily throwing his way. “Daz, I…are you guys not just hooking up? I thought- I thought you were just fucking?” He let out a breathy chuckle, one of slight uncomfortability.

“It’s…yeah, like…I can see why you might think that, but…we have feelings for each other. And we’re not together or anything, but…we’re…we’re working on it.” For insisting that I didn’t want to be lectured like a child, I sure was speaking like one, shrinking in on myself, fiddling with my fingers all shy.

“So, please,” I held my hands up all defensive, like he’d lurch forward and attack me or something.

But, Adam simply sighed. He pocketed his phone, crossed his arms, eyeing me like some art exhibit. I didn’t know what he was going to say and, based on the silence he gave me, I didn’t really want to. He was calculating his response. He was probably going to fucking lecture me.

“Daisy, I…” aaand, here we go. It was me and Max in the elevator, all over again. It was Sasha, across from me at the breakfast table.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do. That’s just not my place, no matter how much you mean to all of us, how much I think of you like, fuck, like a little sister. You are an adult. You can make your own decisions, dude.”

I breathed out the air I was holding. It was a relief, a sentiment I needed to hear. I didn’t care if I was being stupid- I just wished people would listen to me for once and let me do what I wanted.

“But.”

I shut my eyes, a bit tighter, longer than a blink took, in an attempt to ground the anger that was growing in my fingertips. “But, what?” My words were short, scornful.

“But,” Adam sighed again, “I just want you to be happy. I’ve watched you, all summer, try to prove yourself. To Sasha, to Max, to me. To your brother, especially. And, worst of all, Oliver.”

“It makes me so disappointed to see somebody like you have such little self worth. To see you dilute yourself for others. You are…so kind. So beautiful. So pointed and smart and sure of yourself. But, you hate it. You hate that you’re like that. You want to turn yourself into some version of you that just doesn’t fit. Some girl who’s edgy, some girl who’s laid back and doesn’t care what happens. That’s just not you, Daisy. You are intense. And that’s good! You’re passionate, you know what you want. You just…you need to believe you’re worth those wants. Stop doubting your abilities to make it happen. Stop doubting that you deserve it. Just grab it.”

I hadn’t expected to be so humbled. His words were…truer than any cheesy line any therapist had sold to me for $200. It knocked the wind out of me, forcing me to take a step back, literally. I guarded myself from the rush of the tornado, an arm wrapped over my stomach, one nervously rubbing my neck.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

“I’m…sorry,” I whispered in response. It was all I could think to say.

“Don’t say sorry to me,” Adam touched my shoulder, “say it to yourself. You deserve the entire world. And I hope you accept that soon. This shit with Oliver will suck the life out of you.”

All I could think to do next was toss my arms around his shoulders, clutching him to my body like a warm blanket. He hugged me back, just as tight.

After only a few moments, we pulled apart. Neither of us said anything else. Adam simply touched my head, lovingly offering me this brotherly smile, before continuing his way down the hall.

I finally made my way to the elevator, one singular thought on my mind: my own self worth.

Adam had been so shockingly correct. I…

I knew it, too. I’d known it this whole time, only making myself and thought smaller in order to make room for Oliver. I couldn’t keep doing that. I needed to prioritize my own worth while loving him.

Loving him.

I needed to…

We couldn’t keep going like this.

I loved him.

And, from the way he held me, kissed me…the lyrical remedies he spoke to me…he loved me.

He loves me.

I’d confront him about this intuitive feeling.

Tonight.

–

“And this one I got when we were in Australia last year. I had this idea of getting ink everytime we hit a new city. But it got kind of expensive. Plus, we’re always so busy now that it’s, like, do I wanna eat or get a tattoo?”

“Get a tattoo, obviously,” Sam scoffed from the couch, a hint of tease within his tone. He scrolled mindlessly on his phone, barely a part of the conversation, just a nuisance, really.

Ronnie met my eyes and rolled her gaze, “Anyways-“

I giggled at the interaction before returning my line of sight to her arm. She pointed upon another piece of art inked onto her skin, diving into the backstory for that specific moment in time. Though it looked, to any passerby, that she was simply splattered with random images, doodles, animals, symbols- there was meaning to each and every piece on her body.

Tonight’s show had been postponed until tomorrow due to the monstrous thunderstorm that knocked out the power on that side of the city. With half the town closed down and plenty of free time now on our hands, Ronnie, Sam, and I found ourselves in our hotel room. We had been laying around for the majority of the afternoon, random topics on our minds.

I was killing time until I could chase Oliver down in his room, make my big stupid love confession.

Having admired Ronnie’s tattoos for a while, I was glad to finally have some extra time to ask her about all of them. It was always nice to get to talk to her, especially this in-depth, about most anything. She was intelligent and, frankly, hilarious.

She finished telling me the story about the horseshoe around her elbow. Then, before she continued down her left arm, she paused, another thought having intruded her concentration, “Daz.”

I tilted my head in recognition of my name, encouraging her to go on. She gave a little grin, like she had some sort of coy idea floating around in her head, “You don’t have any tattoos? Right?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. I definitely want some. Honestly, I get a little nervous,” I sheepishly admitted to what was holding me back.

Ronnie’s expression positively grew. I understood, based on the context clues and the way she peered over at me, what she was getting at now.

“Half the city is out of power,” I raised my brows at her. I wasn’t opposed to the idea- I, myself, even had a little smile itching at my lips. I was just…a little scared, to be honest. I hated needles, like any average person did. Plus, the idea of something so permanent on my skin terrified me. What would I even get?

“I know a guy. He’d come to us.”

“I don’t know what I’d get! I can’t do last minute things like this. I’ll regret it forever,” I giggled, though what I was saying was true.

Ronnie sat up, grasping my hands in hers. She clutched on, begging from her knees on the bed beside me, “That’s the best way to get a tattoo. Get something stupid, something you don’t even know if you like, so you can regret it and hate it until you finally decide to love it! Plus, what a memory we’ll make, Daz! We’ve barely gotten to do anything together this summer, yet you’ve become like a sister to me. We have to do it!”

Sam came out of the bathroom, face half-covered in shaving cream, razor dangling between his fingertips. He met my gaze as I turned my head towards him, a relaxed, pleased look on his brows. “Daz…”

“Sam..” I returned his tone, awaiting his criticism, his claims of me being too good-two-shoes to follow through.

His brows rose more, “Daz! Come on! You have to!”

“Sam, really? I thought you of all people would hate this idea! You really think I should do it?” I was shocked, to say the least. Where was his chidness? His disapproval? The daunting argument always between us?

Nowhere to be found. It was like character development, magically morphing itself before my eyes.

“You have to! You said yourself, this summer is supposed to be about letting go, having fun, being dumb. So far, I haven’t seen you let go and be dumb at all. So, you have to check those off your list! What better way to do that than by getting an impulsive tattoo?” He pointed.

If only he knew just how dumb I’d been this entire time.

I think he’d have killed me if he found out even just a shred of the truth.

He was right, anyway. What I thought was letting go, not caring- it wasn’t. And I knew that now. It was exactly what Adam had been telling me.

Oh, well. Sam would soon know the truth, once Oliver and I talked through the relationship. I’d deal with that hill after the mountain.

Everything between me and Oliver was out of my control- yet, I was clutching to the situation with white knuckles.

The idea of a tattoo was a distraction, a shred of proof, to myself, that I could control something. That I could genuinely let go of fate for a moment or two.

Besides, I’d always hear that tattoo therapy was the best kind of way to get through shit.

“Fuck it.”

So, there I sat, still in my pajamas, fuzzy socks on my feet, on the edge of my hotel bed, arm propped up on Ronnie’s friend Frank’s stand he’d brought with him.

I didn’t know what I was getting. Ronnie convinced me to let her pick something out, but I only let her do so if Sam had approved it first. The giddy expression on his face and the squeeze around my shoulders that he gave me signaled that it was a good pick.

My knee was bouncing. Anxiety that I more than expected filtered through my system like a poison. I steadied my breathing, focused on the fidget ring I wore on my left hand. Frank was setting everything up on this collapsible tablet he’d unpacked from this wagon he stepped into the room with. Ronnie and Sam talked his ear off, laughing over old memories they all shared. I didn’t even know my brother knew this guy, but I guess he had this entire life I didn’t know about in the first place.

I kept to myself, fit with the quiet introduction I offered and the stress that bled off of my skin in droplets of sweat.

more pre tattoo shit

“You love it?” Ronnie stood behind me in the mirror,

cutest poolside

“What the fuck!” Max bounded through the door. He had a Sleep Token bucket hat on his hair and I nearly snorted at how goofy it looked on his head.

But, any tease I wanted to prod him with was curbed as he brought his complaints further into the hotel room. He spotted me after looking over the rest of the habitants. His offended expression didn’t lessen, though, like I thought it would once he fell into his usual routine of laughter and flirts. Instead, when he approached me, towering over my lounged sprawl across my bed, he noticed the black ink pooling beneath the dermal-wrap on my forearm. His brows shot up underneath the rim of the bucket hat that I was beginning to grow just a little jealous of.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten into the boys’ music ever since the show. But I’d never admit that to any of them. Especially not my brother, who would’ve acted like the snarkiest prick because of his incessant need to be right, even though he was usually quite wrong.

“No fucking way!” Max climbed onto the bed beside me, crawling across the messy sheets by his knees. He stopped beside me and grasped my wrist in his hands.

The pull gently lurched me forward, forcing me to sit up. I dropped my phone to the bed beside me as Max dipped his head low, examining my new tattoo. I giggled at his wonderment.

“You got a tattoo! Without me! What the fuck! Daz, I’m hurt!” Max pouted, meeting my eyes with the puppy dog expression sinking in his brown ones.

Adam, Cyrus, and Oliver had shuffled into the room. The former two latched onto the tattooist’s conversation with my brother and Ronnie. They started bouncing ideas off of him as quick as one could blink. I wondered where they thought they could fit more ink on their already crowded skin.

Meanwhile, Oliver wasn’t being shy with how obvious he was, peering towards Max and I like we were a museum attraction. But, I was probably the only one to notice how his gaze first latched onto Max’s fingers, gripping my arm. Then, he moved his attention to my tattoo, trying to make out its shape from the distant angle at which he stood.

I felt it now, more than ever, since I’d confirmed the feelings in my gut and let them rise to the surface. Just looking at him, I knew it…I loved him so fucking much.

Though Oliver had averted his expression, his point of view, I knew what that first glance had been. I knew that burn in his gaze, the sickening claim in his pupils. Jealousy. So sickly sweet and insecure.

Suddenly self aware, if only because of that strange understanding I had of him, I slipped my hand from Max’s. I pulled my knees in front of my chest which expanded the distance between us. Though the movement was light, Max noticed it like noticed his own breaths.

His words stuttered for a moment, fading away as the proof settled in the room, “How’d you deci- decide….on…” He filtered his look from my face then over his shoulder, at Oliver. I had peered at the latter for a moment too long, a gaze which was easily noticed by my friend.

“On it,” Max’s tone fell off. Oliver didn’t meet his eye, his gaze latched onto my tattoo still. What had been an observational moment for Oliver turned into an avoidance of Max’s confrontation.

I was seeing through the smog now, the rose colored glasses just a bit dimmer than they had been before. And Oliver looked…he looked ashamed. Ashamed that Max was finding out, or ashamed that he had been with me? I would soon find out.

Max glanced back at me. I followed the curves on the sheets with a distanced glaze behind my lids, barren all the same. Then, Max looked to his friend again.

He waited for someone to say something. But neither of us would wave a white flag, nor would we confess to the guilty sin. My plan had been to tell Oliver how I felt, then tell everyone if I needed to.

And I didn’t really want to. Especially not Max. I felt like I’d betrayed his trust.

Max sighed, sitting up a bit straighter. He dropped a gaped, “Oh,” before pulling himself off of the bed, becoming a part of everyone else’s momentum.

My body paused, Oliver and I tangled in the poison ivy on the cream colored wallpaper behind me. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t breath, he didn’t do anything. He just stood there, anxiety bleeding off his healed scars like me.

I hadn’t expected him to jump onto the bed, proclaim his love for me, and tell the judgemental town folk that they just didn’t understand Romeo and Juliet. But, something other than his quiet treason would have been everything to my jittery frame.

I would have appreciated it if he had, at least, told Max to forget about it. If he would have shoveled some excuse off the tip of his tongue, defended me, us, the stupid love affair we thought was getting us somewhere.

But he didn’t.

He just fucking stood there, like he always did.

It made the confidence Id just built up waver a bit.

I was too anxious to really do anything, either. I couldn’t find the nerve to stand on my own two feet, let alone pull Max aside and try to excuse our indiscretions. The room was suffocating as the stress further settled in.

Max knew. Max knew.

He knew.

The cat would tear itself out of the bag any day now if I couldn’t get it under control today.

It was only a matter of a ticking time bomb. When would the seconds run out? When would the explosion shatter my skull?

I thought about running out of the room, tossing myself off the balcony.

But before I could find the strength to get my footing on the carpet of the hotel room floor, someone was saying my name. Someone was dragging me into a conversation, turning the room’s energy onto me and Oliver’s sad, pathetic, bubble of shame, anxiety, and ruthless obsession.

I snapped out of my fragile little frame like the chill girl that I was and answered the question Sam had asked;

“Do you remember mom’s joke? About the flowers?”

I rubbed my dried lips together until they morphed easily into a sweet smile. The anxiety was pushed back down, like it always was, as I played my old, now forgotten role, “Which one? She had that book behind the counter. She harassed customers with it. Said she’d been a comedian in an alternate timeline, but I don’t think so.”

Sam rolled his eyes gleefully. The room shared a laugh at the thought of some eclectic woman, chasing customers out of her flower shop with a thrifted joke book before her eyes. I remember one time she tripped over a pot and nearly fell onto the concrete floor, already sprinkled with petals and cut-off flower stems. She caught herself, but fell to her knees with laughter. Sam rolled his eyes from behind the counter, where he’d been doing homework.

But, I could see myself, 10, braided plaits in my hair, scurrying over from my seat at the window. I abandoned my book, something I never did, to bask in my mom’s joyous laughter, something I missed more than air these days.

I wonder what Oliver thought of this story, now knowing what he knew. I wanted to look for him, for a smile. But I kept staring straight, at my brother.

“I know, but it was, like- it was the one about the photos and the camera. Something, like…” he racked his brain, concentration on his blond brows. “Helping..plants?”

“Helping the plant photosynthesize!” I straightened up as the punchline lurched from the depths of my memories.

Sam and I laughed, louder than the others possibly could, as we shared a sacred vision, as blurry as my eyes, as fleeting as the smell of our mom’s perfume. She loved that joke.

I could do with a little bit of her humor, now more than ever.

The things she’d say, if she could see me now…

Regardless, I think she’d have liked Oliver.

“Well, don’t bother telling the joke,” Ronnie snickered, patting Sam’s shoulder.

I noticed the intensity of his bone, from just the longer of her fingers on his clothed-skin. But he easily hid that before it became obvious. I recognized that flinch…But my brain was too busy to really memorize the interaction, let alone evaluate it.

“You spoiled it!” Ronnie drew another laugh from the crowd.

The joking continued, though the topic moved away from our mom. My thoughts lingered on her, as Adam moved to the tattoo station, the artist having found a spare spot on his shoulder to put some symbol I couldn’t make out.

My attention turned to my arm, to the burning ink settling its way into the layers of my derma. Two thin flowers, stems rooted in nothing but my pink skin, no soil in sight, just the garden of my body. The petals shaped out the delicate curve of the pair of daisies, my mom’s initials written out to the left of the small bouquet.

I looked up when I felt someone’s gaze on my face. It was Sam, watching me admiring my tattoo with this awestruck way that only a brother who loved his sister could appear.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt the urge to break the distance between us. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tightly against me. He didn’t hesitate to embrace me, even tighter. When he pulled apart, he pressed a kiss to my hairline.

“I love you, Sam ham.”

He punched my shoulder.

I was so scared to tell him about Oliver, though I was now realizing it would have to happen eventually. Adam’s advice- unsolicited, sure- had given me so much clarity. I was running, so much, so far, on broken ankles. Running from the truth, from myself.

I couldn’t anymore.

I went to say something else, but a phone started ringing in the room somewhere. It wouldn’t have been too halting if, when I passively looked over my shoulder, it hadn’t been Oliver’s cell.

He tugged it from his pocket, curiously reading the contact across the screen. As always, he denied the call and stuck it back in his pocket. He’d told me before that he thought it rude to answer it in front of others. Yet, as soon as he put it away, it began ringing again.

He went to deny it, again, when Cy called out a tease from his seat on the couch. “Dude, just go outside and answer it. Could be someone important.”

“It’s not,” Oliver muttered, denying it.

It was ringing. Again.

“Your mom?” Sam inquired, brows furrowed.

I knew Oliver’s mom didn’t call often, a small detail he’d told me once in a fleeting conversation about his family, a set of people he didn’t really identify himself with if only because of the distance between them all.

So, when she did call, he’d always take it. Couldn’t be her, but I couldn’t vocalize this knowledge.

Oliver shook his head, confirming my suspicion. Everyone else that I knew he spoke to was in this room.

Spam, probably.

Oliver denied the call. It was ringing before he could hide it away, shut it off, hell- throw it out the window.

Oliver huffed, loudly. Sam snickered, then, a knowing chuckle that told me he knew something I didn’t.

“Ooo,” Sam took a few steps towards his friend, who was still seated on the couch. He peered over Oliver’s shoulder, who quickly hid the phone. “That tells me all I need to know.”

“Shut up, dude,” Oliver’s eyes rolled over mine, shortly, quickly, ashamedly.

This was, really, where things did start to fall apart, if I had to pick a singular moment in time and stamp it.

This was it. The end of it all. My demise.

Our fate finally crawling from our throats.

Where I thought I had control, where I thought I knew exactly how to handle the situation, cure our disease…

There were cells multiplying beneath our pale skin.

Max, sat on the couch now, stood to his feet with a sense of urgency. He met my eyes as I glanced at him, right before things clicked in my head, right before Sam opened his mouth. It was like he could see the future, his intuition screeching like a siren. Once the bomb dropped, I noticed the panic in Max’s eyes and looked back to my brother, towards Oliver, who gazed at me again, as fleeting as that final look was.

“Ah, it’s your little girlfriend. Knew you two would get back together. How is Fiona these days? Still annoying as ever?” Sam seemed amused by the moment.

He was so unaware of the drama layered just underneath the careless air he easily existed in, so unaware of the panic in my body as I fled from the room. I made no attempt to make myself seem casual or fucking chill.

Max didn’t hesitate to follow me. He was on my heels, hot as the summer air just outside of the windows.

But, I ignored him as he called out my name.

The air in my lungs was burning, like I was going up in flames from the inside out. Maybe it was that pain, or maybe it was the choking tears flooding down my cheeks, but- my vision was blurring. I was dizzy. Short-lived muscle memory is the only thing that got me to the elevator doors. But, I couldn’t find the button. I slammed my fingers against the wall, only feeling the dry scratch of the decorative paper beneath my prints.

My lips wobbled like a child’s, blubbers that were supposed to be sobs flustering out from my tongue. “Where is it? Where the fuck is it?” I whispered to myself, pointer finger numb from how harshly I was jabbing the wall.

My harbors had gone up in flames. I was floating in deep, deathly waters with nowhere to anchor. Until- Max’s voice finally caught up with me. One gentle hand on the dip of my back, one carefully wrapping its fingers around my wrist.

I couldn’t resist, not that I really wanted to, as his towering, homely frame took me in, cradled me like the child I needed to be in this moment.

The elevator finally beeped, the doors opening like another set of warm, homely arms. Max guided us inside and peeled one of his hands away from me to press the button for the second floor.

I half-expected Oliver to chase us down, to lodge his body between the doors, grab me from Max’s arms. I wanted him to chase me out into the rain, flag down a taxi, meet me at the airport like some cheesy rom-com scene.

But, he didn’t.

In fact, he didn’t say anything to me for three whole fucking days.

#sleep token #sleep token x reader #vessel x reader #sleep token smut #sleep token x you #vessel x you #vessel sleep token #sleep token band #sleep token fanfic #sleep token iii

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amnisx · 6 hours

Text

🔗 off the hook. ★ jake sim.

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☆ pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

☆ story length: VERY LONG.

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☆ synopsis: Tired and burnt out from studying and university, i decide to blow off steam when my dormmate says there’s a party at the frat house on campus. Things escalate from having a few too many drinks, to waking up next to the campus’s well known playboy, Jake Sim.

☆ concept: strangers (enemies?) to lovers.

☆ warnings: swearing, dark humor, mention of alcohol, mention of trauma, very gentle smut?, sexual jokes, death threats. (tell me if i missed anything!)

• 💌 ami’s note: i also wrote this in first person! I hope you can still put yourself in the place of the narrator! This is proof read. I worked so hard on this.. :,)

🔗 ❤️

Another exam that was coming up, another friday night of studying. Mid terms were really starting to get to me.. I was being bullied by my own brain from all the things i had to memorize, mumbling frustrated curses at myself every time i got an answer wrong on my exam prep papers. I was a pretty average student, not the best, but never the worst. I always did pretty okay on exams or tests, but stress always got the better of me.

I was probably sitting at the kitchen counter for hours at this point, constantly reading the same sentence over and over from my syllabus, trying to understand what the fuck it was talking about.

“fuck this.. i’m gonna go to bed..” I yawn to myself as i stretch my arms out and arch my back a bit against the kitchen stool.

As i start gathering all my books, syllabuses and prep sheets from the counter, i heard the front door of the dorm open. It was Yunjin, my roommate. She was all happy and excited about something, kicking her shoes off her feet as she ran up to me with a huge grin on her face. I was kinda weirded out by her behavior, but it wasn’t really something new to me.

Yunjin became my roommate in my second year of uni. She was really nice, but barely around to be completely honest. She was a huge social butterfly though, she could make you her friend in a matter of minutes.. and with that talent of hers, i considered her a pretty good friend now.

“y/n y/n y/n! there’s a party tonight at the frat house, you heard about it?” her tone very enthusiastic and kind of loud.

“oh- for real? I didn’t hear. They haven’t thrown anything in a while.” I wasn’t very shocked by the news. I mean, frat guys always throw parties, right?

“we should totally go! It’s around 10, i think? C’mon you haven’t been out in sooo long. You could totally use tonight to have some fun.” She still had a huge smile on her face as she grabs me by the shoulders.

“you think so? you know i’m not a party person though..” I rub the back of my neck, still not very convinced.

“just get dressed, do your makeup and if you don’t like it, just come back home, ok?” her voice sounded all squeaky and excited at the end of her sentence so i just couldn’t disappoint her.

“alright alright.” I just couldn’t say no to her..

“yay! go get ready then.” she says in a happy tone as she lets me go and heads off into her own room.

Did i just make a huge mistake by agreeing to go? Maybe, but it was already too late. Yunjin was the type to be disappointed in you if you went against your word. For her, if you said you’ll do something, you’ll do it. As simple as that. It was around 9:00 pm when my plans of sleeping early were interrupted by my roommate, considering the situation i had put myself in, the idea of getting a good nights sleep went completely out the window.

Me and Yunjin start overflowing the bathroom with makeup and hair irons. We both help each other out, already starting the night off pretty well and taking “grwm” pics for our insta stories. I’m not gonna lie, i started second guessing my decision to go, but my hair was already being curled and i had already finished applying glitter on my eyelids.. We both rush to our rooms as soon as we’re done, scurrying to get dressed.

I had absolutely no idea what i was gonna wear. It was getting pretty chilly out since november had rolled around.. Should i wear a dress? A skirt? Pants? Ugh.. the choices were endless. I didn’t wanna freeze to death but i still wanted to look good. Yunjin was tapping her foot like a frustrated bunny outside of my bedroom door in as it was already 10:33 pm and i wasn’t even dressed yet.

“y/n! You’re taking forever! Just wear that cute black dress you bought a few weeks ago or something..” her tone sort of whiny and impatient.

“UGH WAIT!” i mumble out loudly as i slide myself into a decent outfit.

I come out of the room, wearing a black skirt with sheer black tights underneath and topped it off with a beige off the shoulder sweater. It was good enough, i guess.

“oh shit~” Yunjin teases me a little, a small grin on her face. “you look good. Why don’t you dress up more often?” she says with a slight chuckle and nudges me playfully.

“just shut up and get going..” i kind of giggle with her, gently push her to get moving.

“apparently everyone’s gonna be there. I saw a bunch of people’s ig stories..” she mutters as she closes the front door behind us.

“Yunnie just don’t drink too much, okay? I don’t wanna take care of you if you get drunk..” we both chuckle at my comment, starting to walk down the girl’s dormitory hallway.

We arrived at the frat house only a few minutes later, the loud music and people yelling “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” already audible from miles away. Yunnie was already so into it, singing and dancing a bit as she opened the door. It was my first ever time being in that frat house, and i was absolutely terrified. As the door creaked open, i couldn’t believe what was in front of my eyes. The sight almost appalling.. People already passed out on the couch, people making out in corners of the room and a bunch of random shit on the floor. Was this seriously supposed to be one of the best parts of college life?

Yunjin didn’t even bother looking at the mess everywhere, she grabbed my arm and threw both of us inside. I was very uncomfortable at this point, not knowing very many people in there was definitely a disadvantage right now.

Even though at the beginning it was awkward and uncomfortable, i eventually got into it. I was hesitant to drink, not knowing my limit very well since i didn’t drink very regularly, but fuck it, right? One drink turned into two, two turned into five and five turned into nine.. I was getting hammered, my mind all fuzzy and vision a little hazed.

Yunjin obviously had better alcohol tolerance than me, she was barely drunk, still in full control of herself while i could barely walk on my own without stumbling a bit. As the night went on, i was having a lot of fun, dancing and becoming part of the crowd who yelled at random people to finish off their drink. I wasn’t acting like my normal self, at all. Yunnie seemed to enjoy this new side of me, recording and laughing at the stupid things i did but still making sure i was okay.

Thats when, i saw him. A blurry imagine of a tall and pretty handsome guy.. All i remember was him staring at me from across the room and the rest fades to black..

🔗 ❤️

I woke up the next day with a raging hangover. My head feeling like it was about to burst open.. I had almost no memory of the night before. I was still half asleep when i realized that i was already; not in my dorm, meaning not in my bed and I was undressed.

What the actual fuck!? quickly sit up to see my clothes all over the floor and my bra hanging off the door handle..

A low and sleepy voice suddenly spoke to me as i was rubbing my eyes aggressively, making sure they weren’t fooling me.

“morning~” His voice was honestly really attractive and his Australian accent just made it even more charming.

“h-huh?” i shake my head, making sure i was hearing right. The accent.. only one person from our whole year had an Aussie accent like that.

“you awake, sweetheart? you should probably head out soon..” He said in his raspy morning voice.

“oh fu-” i whispered to myself, realizing who was talking to me, and who’s bed i was in that very moment.

I quickly turn my head up to try and make sure it was the person i was thinking of. Yup.. the infamous campus fuckboy. Jake, Sim Jaeyun if you wanna get specific..

Fuck. All i can say was that i was absolutely mortified. I mean.. yea, he was hot as hell and looked so sexy shirtless and standing over me like that but that wasn’t my main concern at the moment! Did i really just become part of the girls stupid enough to sleep with him? I was lost in thought until i felt my clothes hit me in the face.

“here. Get dressed, yeah?” he sounded a little pushy.

“yea yea..” I mutter out as i pick up my clothes and rush into them, not bothering to look presentable, just needing to get the hell out of there.

“thanks for that birthday gift~” he smirked at me, almost menacingly.

“birthday?.. you know what, whatever...” I was obviously very disappointed in myself and his smug expression and cocky tone of voice wasn’t making it easier on me. What did he mean by birthday gift?.. Was i the girl to give me his birthday sex!?.. God, i wanted to unalive myself.

Jake already had the door open for me.. hm, charming. I storm out, slamming the door behind me. I was speed walking to the girl’s dormitory, thousands of questions running in my mind as i finally got to my dorm, bursting the door open to see my roommate passed out on the couch. The loud slam of the door jolting her up and making her groan in annoyance at the strong sound. She was obviously surprised to see me standing in front of her, giving me the ‘what the fuck?’ type of stare.

I was still trying to compose myself, gathering my thoughts trying to piece last night together. My head was still throbbing and my hard thinking just made it worse. Yunjin sits up properly and scratches her hair a bit before stretching her arms out and yawning.

It’s probably better that i dont tell her about me hooking up with Jake, better that i don’t tell anyone. I knew Jake wouldn’t. Everyone knew he slept around a lot but he would only show off the girls he was “proud of”, whatever that meant. Total asshole, right?

Yunnie asked me where i had disappeared to last night, having not seen me home when she got there, obviously. I made up a lame excuse that i had passed out in the bathroom and gotten home a few hours later. She was a little of suspicious but didn’t push it.

We both take some ibuprofen to calm our headaches and cooked some spicy ramen to fill our growling tummies. The warm broth soothed my body and head for a while, giving me actual time to try and figure out what had happened. I didn’t wanna talk to Jake, but if i wanted to know, i’d have to.

And i was definitely not going to another party anytime soon.

🔗 ❤️

The weekend ended and more exams came up. I was actually way too busy focusing on studies to be thinking of my drunken mistake, pushing that horrid memory in the back of my mind..

I had passed Jake a few times in the halls or during free periods but he never looked in my direction, as if i didn’t exist. Was he that much of a jerk? Why did i even care? I didn’t.. at least i thought so. I was determined to demand him what had happened that night since my memory still hadn’t come back to me, but again, studies, life, and basically everything got in my way of doing that.

I was honestly so worn out i just gave up. Maybe i would never know and maybe it was for the better.

Until, i gained attention. People started looking at me, whispering things to each other and girls were even acting mean towards me. What the hell did i do? I wasn’t known in this school so was my name being spread like wild fire?

Yunjin wasn’t the cause of this, she was a popular girl but she’d never ever say anything bad about me, plus, she didn’t tell me about any nasty rumors that could have tainted my reputation so she couldn’t have known.

I was walking down the hall, feeling a bunch of eyes on me. I was getting overwhelmed, speed walking to the nearest empty lecture room and shutting the door behind me. I fell to the floor, my back against the hard wood as i try to catch my breath. There was definitely some kind of bad rumor around my name but no one was gonna tell me about it, so i had to figure it out myself.

I come out the room and try to look for someone who’d know anything about it, but most of the faces i looked at were people i didn’t even know. This was so frustrating.. I was being bad mouthed and i had no idea why. Sigh. This isn’t high school anymore, so why was everyone acting so immature and petty about it instead of telling me upfront? I just stopped trying and headed back to my dorm. My roommate was no where to be seen, even if we were pretty close, she wasn’t around much. She had other friends, i knew that.

It was around 11, almost midnight when i was preparing to get to bed. I had already done my skincare and brushed my teeth, laying in my warm and soft bed, scrolling on my phone and just checking any of my social media. I hadn’t been on Instagram for a while so i decided to check if anything interesting was on there, and there definitely was.

I saw a post of a girl with a familiar style to mine, she was wearing a black skirt.. sheer black tights.. and a beige off the shoulder sweater? Holy shit is this me? It was the night of that frat party.. Who would’ve posted me without my permission? The account was completely anonymous so that didn’t help. I continue to watch the video, heart pounding in my chest. Suddenly, it got a hundred times worse, maybe even a thousand. Jake entered the frame, he had pinned me against a wall and we were making out.. what kind of a sick person would record this?

My brain didn’t wanna accept what i was watching, i was in complete denial. As the video continued playing, things between me and Jake were getting.. steamy. The video abruptly stopping when Jaeyun spotted the camera and the person who was recording ran away. I guess i knew what everyone was talking about now..

Who did they think they were? Everyone was probably thinking i let myself and Jake be recorded, weren’t they!? I obviously couldn’t fall asleep anymore, my mind wandering back to the video. I had reported it to Instagram, saying it was violating my privacy or whatever you say when you report something but i doubt it helped..

🔗 ❤️

Days had gone by, i was still getting nasty stares, hearing muffled giggles and whispers behind my back, and honestly just feeling people’s gaze on me wherever i went. I was so fed up with how everyone was treating me.. It’s not as if i chose for that video to leak??

I was walking to the library to return some books i had borrowed for an essay i had due the next day. I was mostly looking at the ground instead of straight ahead, making me accidentally bump into someone. I tumble a bit but don’t lose my balance, I looked up to try and see who it is i needed to excuse myself to, but i bit my tongue as soon as i saw who was in front of me. Since when does HE visit the library?

“hey. Watch where you’re go-“ he quickly stopped his sentence as he looked at me, his facial expression shocked and getting serious.

“sorry.. i wasn’t-” I was cut off by Jake.

“we need to talk.” he whispered quietly, grabbing my wrist.

“huh?? what’d you?-“ i didn’t even hear what he said but he suddenly pulled me into a corner of the library, hiding us behind some shelves.

“look, i don’t know if you saw that video on insta but-“ i cut him off as well.

“would you let me talk? Already, hello.” i roll my eyes. “And yea, i saw that post.” he rolls his eyes back at me.

“I don’t have time for your damn attitude, just listen, will you?” his frustrated attitude was getting me annoyed as well at this point.

“whatever..” i mumble under my breath.

“well what i wanted to say before YOUR rude ass cut me off was that i wanna find who the fuck posted that.” I was kind of shocked to say the least.. Jake actually wanted the same thing that i did.

“well i do too.. but?..” I was kind of confused by his concern at the post. He wasn’t the type to care much of what people thought of him, atleast that’s what i thought until now.

“but what?” his tone was kind of on edge.

“it’s not like people don’t know you fuck around..” i kind of mumble out, crossing my arms.

“hey. I just don’t like people posting shit like that about me.” he says in a stern and serious way. Damn.. he seemed pretty pissed.

“yea.. i get your point.” I nod a little.

“look.. i just.. i want your help. We have to find who the hell did that. It’s not something i just wanna ignore. We have to find the fucker who posted that.”

“okay fine..” I huff a bit, uncrossing my arms and looking down at the floor, finally speaking up again after a few seconds. “I don’t really remember what happened that night though..” I mumble again.

“you don’t remember? seriously?.. you were THAT drunk?” he raises his eyebrows, surprised by my words.

“yea i can’t really tell where my limits stand with alcohol but that’s not the point.” I huff again, looking up again but not really in his direction. “we had sex.. that’s it.. right?”

“well.. i brought you back to my dorm, and we were ABOUT to have sex and then you passed out. Don’t worry, i’m not that much of an ass..” he kind of mumbles, running a hand through his hair.

My eyes sparkle in excitement and relief, my arms crossed over my chest, looking back up at him. I didn’t care about his sarcasm at this point, the fact i didn’t sleep with Jake was my main concern. “thank GOD.” I pause again, kind of thinking of the morning i woke up in his bed, my expression changing from one of relief to one of confusion. “what’d you mean by “thanks for the birthday gift.” or whatever?..”

“well.. that party was kind of a birthday gift for me from the guys. You just made my night a little better~” he chuckled softly with a slight smug look on his face now.

I let out a sigh of relief, rolling my eyes again at his playful grin and obvious teasing. Knowing we hadn’t slept together made me feel better, but it still kinda haunted me that he.. touched me. I try to shrug it off and me and Jake continue talking, making out a plan to find out who would record that damn video of us and then post it. I’m gonna lie, i felt like Sherlock Holmes during that whole conversation.. but the thing that surprised me the most was that.. me and Jake actually.. got along. He actually wasn’t a huge asshole, he made me laugh and smile when i didn’t want to. Maybe i was wrong about him? Nah.. he was still a player. But atleast i knew why girls let him in their pants now. He was charming and funny, i’ll admit that much.

The plan was to question all the people who liked that video. (which was literally more than 30..) Jake and Yunjin will use their reputations as an advantage to our investigation by kind of bringing it up in conversation, and my unsocial ass is gonna do some stalking and investigating on social media. Once we find who the culprit is, we KICK THEIR ASS. Easy enough, right?

🔗 ❤️

Ok, our plan was taking way longer than we normally thought. Jake AND Yunjin asked all their friends if they knew anything from that night. All of those useless fucks said ‘no.’

My stalking skills on social media were good, but i was stumped. I couldn’t find shit. Was this person a ghost or something?? Our main theory was that the person was most likely a girl, but it could honestly be anyone.

Me and Jake hung out pretty often because of this whole ‘situation.’ But because of it, people started talking even more. Rumors of dating, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, booty call, sneaky link, the list could go on.. it’s not like Jake didn’t have any of those things with other girls, cause he did. But he suddenly started dropping most of them. I didn’t know if it was cause his interest in his life style was disappearing or if cause of me?..

But i did get some incredibly delightful texts :

jake’s probably using u ngl 💀

slut

attention whore

ur not even pretty.. 😐👎

u n sim don’t go well tgt 🥱

It could go on, but i didn’t bother to even read them anymore. I even showed Jake most of them, and he genuinely laughed. He thought it was so stupid and immature that those girls would text ME those things. We weren’t anything but friends now, but everyone was being so damn nosy about it. He just told me to ignore them and that’s exactly what i did. It wasn’t worth my time, and we were still focused on trying to figure this whole video leak mystery thing out.

More weeks passed, the winter weather getting colder. Me and Jake got.. close. And i started hanging out with his friends more and more often.

They weren’t all like him; they weren’t complete asses who’d have one night stands and never call them again. Atleast not all of them..

Sunghoon, too narcissistic for his own good. He’s always bragging about how good he looks or asks us to feed that big ass ego of his. Kinda annoying but it’s fun to see his face whenever we joke that he looks ugly. He never looks ugly.

Jay, only responsible one. The dad of the group. He’s the one who keeps everyone in line, he’ll scold, yell, maybe even the occasional ‘playful’ hit to discipline the three others. The only one you can call “husband material.”

Heeseung, Jake’s wingman. He’s probably even worse. I have NEVER seen such a pussy hungry guy. He was hitting on me the moment i met him, but Jake quickly shut that down, knowing it wouldn’t end well.

One night we were all hanging out at Jake’s dorm, drinking a little and playing some harmless truth or dare.. key word; harmless.

“y/n, truth or dare?” Sunghoon asks me, beer can in hand as he leans back on the small sofa.

“hm.. truth.” i respond back casually, crossing my arms.

“ahh.. cmon, you’re so lame.” Heeseung says with a small chuckle and smirk on his face. I roll my eyes and gesture for Sunghoon to give me my truth.

“i got one.” he says with a small grin, setting his beer down on the coffee table. “fuck, marry, kill and.. let’s say “kiss” for this sake since there’s four of us.”

“Park Sunghoon..” i roll my eyes again, uncrossing my arms, rubbing my head a little as i think for a minute or two. “uh.. i’d marry Jay..” i mumble softly, Jay giggling and nodding his head lightly. “i’d fuck.. Jake?.. i almost did that anyway.” i say in a sarcastic but joking way, making Jake crack a smile. “i’d kiss Heeseung and i’d kill you.” Hee starts laughing his ass off as he sees Sunghoon’s facial expression when i tell him my answer.

“you’d kill me?? y/n, cmon.. that’s so unfair. I’m way better than these guys.” Sunghoon says jokingly with a smug look as winks at me.

“yea well i never wanna find out.” i roll my eyes at Sunghoon’s wink and brush him off. “it’s my turn now, right? Hm.. Jake.” i give Jake a playful look and take a sip of my beer. “truth or dare?”

“hm.. dare. I’m not a pussy like you guys.” Jaeyun laughs and finishes his can of beer and lays back on the sofa next to Sunghoon.

“i dare you to not sleep with another girl for the next week.” I snicker.

“y/n, seriously!?.. cmon, you can’t do that to me. I’m a man, i have needs.” he gives me these horribly done puppy eyes.

“stop being so dramatic, it’s seven days.” i scoff, taking another gulp of my beer. “no because Jake has a point, that’s actual torture.” Heeseung adds in.

“you two just too horny for your own good.” Jay mumbles under his breath as he goes to the kitchen to get us more cans.

“whatever.. so it’s my turn, hm?.. okay, y/n. I don’t give one shit if you just went, truth or dare?” Jake smirks at me.

“ugh seriously?.. fine, i’ll choose dare too.” all the boys “ooo” and “aaah” and Sim gets this mischievous look on his face.

“i dare you to give me a lap dance, for a WHOLE minute.” Jake says bluntly, biting his lower lip a bit and looks at me up and down.

“nu-uh! I REFUSE to do that.” i quickly shake my head, glaring at him.

“cmon y/n, a dare’s a dare. You gotta do it.” Sunghoon adds.

“ugh.. i hate you.” i groan in frustration.

“sure you do baby, now dance for me.” Jake says in this flirty yet sarcastic tone, letting out a small chuckle. And before i knew it, he already put on the song ‘girls need love’ and man spread infront of me. I raise a brow and sigh, reluctantly walking up to him and starting to dance on him. Moving my hips in a seductive way and hovering my ass above his lap. The guys start hyping me up as they see me dance in such a suggestive way, clapping and cheering.

“shit.. y/n, you done this before?” Jake says with a kind of heavy breath, watching my curves and biting his bottom lip again.

“dude, you’re eye fucking her so hard.” Jay chuckles as he sees his friend trying so hard to not touch me and sets the cold cans on the coffee table.

“has it been a minute yet?..” i ask in a huffy tone as i keep dancing, an annoyed look on my face.

“nah baby it hasn’t..” he whispers as he hovers his fingers above my hips.

“you touch me and you’re dead, i swear to god.” i glare at Jake, looking at the tv and seeing that the song had already played for 58 seconds. I stop and flick his forehead, scoffing and sitting back down on the couch. Jake jokingly groans at the flick, rubbing his forehead but then smirks once more as he looks at me and my pouty yet frustrated look on my face.

“that was hot.”

🔗 ❤️

More months later, our school wanted to take all the seniors for a sort of trip, since graduation was nearing in a few months. The season was getting warmer, meaning it’s already been a few months since the whole ‘getting recorded’ incident. Everyone mostly forgot about it at this point but me and Jake were still really curious to who it was. Regardless of all that, i was really starting to get used to Jake and his friends as my own friends. But still not trying to be too clingy, feeling kind of insecure since i had joined the group not long ago. Either way, they were funny people and and we always had good talks, even if some were questionable..

This trip was in May and it was end of April, meaning it was getting close. It was to Jeju island. I had only been once when i was a little girl so i was excited to visit again, especially with my new made friends and Yunjin. Her friend circle wasn’t really my thing but i was always nice to them and they were almost always nice to me. Yunnie threatened the boys that if they tried anything on one of her friends or me again, she’d tear off their balls. Scary, isn’t it?

I was packing and packing, even if the trip was only for a week, you can never be too prepared. The weather in May was supposed to be nice so i took mostly some light clothes, accompanied by some hoodies and sweatpants just incase it gets cold. Pretty much everyone was packing, making sure to bring every essential thing you’d need.

It was around midnight and i had gotten out the shower a few hours ago, on the couch and watching the tv as i texted Jay. He was kind of like a big brother to me now, always giving me advice and looking out for me.

y/n you hear abt the roommate rules the chaperones announced?

what they announced a roommate rule?? we’re in uni, i thought we could room w whoever we wanted?

apparently not 🤷🏻 they said only same gender shit or wtv n like max 5 ppl

ig i’ll room w yunjin n her friends

btw can i ask you smth?

uhh yea sure, what is it?

u n jake are JUST friends, right?

I was confused on why Jay would ask me that, of course me and Jake were just friends, was he saying otherwise?..

yea we’re js friends, why?

idk sometimes he talks abt u in this non-friend way ig

wdym?

he says stuff like “u looked cute today in bio-chem” and he even noticed the little details abt u y/n, apparently you smell like jasmine or smth??

oh wtf, he actually knows the perfume i use?

it’s literally the first time i’ve seen him getting kind of obsessed w a girl 💀

stop ur probably overthinking it, maybe he’s js attentive

that’s the thing y/n, he’s not an attentive person 😐 he literally forgot my bday last year

ok what he actually forgot ur bday? 😭

nvm that, but cmon- u cant tell me this can’t mean smth

jay idk what to tell u cs me and jake are js friends from what ik

yea well thats not from what I KNOW

then ask him abt it tf?

yk what hes like y/n 🫤

yea ik, sorry

dw its fine, let’s just forget this

me and the guys are gonna get some coffee at that small cafe before classes tmrw morning, u wna come?

mhm! see u then ^^

I sighed, not knowing what to think about what Jay just told me. It made me feel like he was hiding something from me for some reason. His texts didn’t seem out of the ordinary but the way he asked that question was kind of out of the blue. I didn’t wanna bother him with it, not wanting to risk Jake hearing about it and then things getting complicated again. I was gonna keep my mouth shut.

The next morning we were all the cafe, drinking our coffee and eating some pastries and other breakfast items. Yunjin was a nearby table, talking with her own friends.

Chaewon, pretty, cute, sexy, anything a guy could want in a girl. Sweet but blunt, a good liar yet so honest sometimes. She’s had more boyfriends than i can count. But hey, who am i to judge?

Kazuha, hypocrite but such a good actress. I can never tell if she’s being honest or not. No one really can?.. The biggest cause of rumors at our school. She has a pretty strong personality, she is NOT meant for the weak.

Minji, the one that fits “looks like a marshmallow, could kill you.” Can ruin your reputation in a split second and like Chaewon, she’s pretty popular with the guys. People get on her nerves easily but she ‘tolerates’ some?.. Everyone’s too scared to approach her, and i get why.

We were all chatting and drinking our coffee, enjoying the free time we had before classes. Jay kept looking at me with this weird look and i was getting kind of suspicious again. Jake kind of noticed and slightly raised his brow, looking at me and Jay back and forth. He then suddenly interrupts the conversation Heeseung and Sunghoon were having.

“what’s going on with you two?” he asks in a curious tone.

“what do you mean?” Jay asks, setting his coffee down and trying to act innocent. “huh?..” i act dumb, not even knowing why Jay or Jake was looking at me in such weird ways. An awkward atmosphere surronds the table, everyone going kind of silent.

“you two are looking at eachother all weird.” Jake says in a kind of annoyed voice, even slightly rolling his eyes. Me and the guys get confused on why he was getting such an attitude all of a sudden.

“there’s literally nothing, what’s with you?” Jay starts getting a little defensive, also talking with attitude now.

“guys we’re in public, don’t.” i say in a quiet but firm tone. “we’re not in the mood to handle this shit, especially in the morning..” i rub my forehead, taking a sip of my coffee.

“then don’t.” Jake says coldly, glaring at Jay a little. It felt like he was getting.. jealous.

“yah, Jaeyun. What the fuck is wrong with you right now? I can’t even look at y/n now? You know, you should probably just admit to it already.” Jay says in such a blunt way.

“wait what? admit to what?” I get confused, looking back and forth from Jay and Jake, placing the palms of my hands on the table. The other two boys fall silent and just watch the scene, sipping on their coffee through their straws.

“go on Jake, tell her.” Jay gestures to his friend with his hand, his eyebrows furrowed.

“YOU told her, didn’t you? You assho-” Jake stands from his seat, leaning over the table to get in Jay’s face before Heeseung pulled him away. “Jaeyun, no.” he shakes his head, Jake huffing and sitting back down in his seat.

“okay what the shit is going on??” I was so confused by the situation, thinking this could be about the conversation me and Jay had over text the night before.

“fine..” Jake sighs in frustration, ruffling the back of his hair in a nervy manner and lets out an exhale. “it’s just..” he mumbles in a quiet tone, looking down at his hands. “i don’t know.. i haven’t felt like this in so long. I- uh.. whatever.. i gotta go.” he sighs, getting up from the table and walking out the cafe, i follow soon after him, worrying about him a little. Everyone just exchanges glances at eachother, knowing the conversation between me and Jake was gonna get either super uncomfortable or super emotional.

“Jake.. come on, talk to me.” I say softly, grabbing his arm gently to stop him from walking away. “I know how you don’t open up but..” I speak in a quiet tone, Jake’s footsteps coming to an end and turning to look at me again.

“fine. you wanna know why i’m like this?.. you wanna know why i fuck around with girls? I’m not an asshole who just sleeps with them for fun, it’s cause.. ugh!” he sighs in anger, covering his face with his hands and rubbing his eyes. “I just.. i do it to make myself feel better i guess.. i don’t know, it’s like something to prove.. i know it’s so stupid..” He leans against a wall, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Jake.. did someone.. hurt you?.. like before?..” I talk in a soft and gentle tone, wanting to seem understanding and accepting of his feelings.

“no!.. yea?.. ugh.. i just.. i hate talking about it..” he mumbles, looking at the ground and putting his hands in his pockets.

“hey.. if you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine..” I say softly again, gently rubbing his arm to let him know it was okay.

“look.. it’s.. it was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter. It’s just.. i guess.. i started to use sex as some sort of comfort.. or whatever.. it’s hard to explain.” He explained vaguely, sighing and his breathing getting a little uneven. It was the first time i had seen him be so.. vulnerable. I was surprised but relieved. If someone had told me 5 months ago that the campus’s fuckboy would be opening up to me like this, i’d laugh in their face.

I just hug him softly, hoping to bring him some sort of comfort. The others of course, didn’t see or hear any of this from the cafe since we Jake and i had kind of hidden against a wall and i was glad. He hugged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist and he buried his face in my neck. Jake breathed in slowly, taking in the scent of my perfume. “fuck. You smell good..” He groaned slightly at the smell as he whispered into my ear.

I giggle softly, letting him smell me and running my fingers through his hair. He was being so sensitive and.. real. I was glad to see the actual him and not the him everyone thinks they know, the him i thought i knew. He was so much more different, and i was glad he let his guard down. I was just nervous about when he’d probably put it back up again.

🔗 ❤️

May; Jeju trip! Everyone was putting their luggage and suitcases onto the train, sitting in their seats and getting comfortable for the next few hours.

I was sitting next to Yunjin, Jake next to Heeseung, Sunghoon next to Jay. Chaewon, Kazuha and Minji sitting in the seats for 4 and placing their handbags in the fourth seat. All our seats were pretty close to one another, having a good time and just spending time together. I fell asleep pretty quickly, mostly everyone on the train did, we were all tired since it was early in the morning. I leaned my head on Yunnie’s shoulder, earphones plugged in to drown out any noise from the outside world.

After an hour or so on that damn train we all get to the docks to get on the ferry to the island. We also put all our luggage on that huge boat and get seated again. Another 2-3 hours on the water and then we’ll finally get to our destination. I was now between Yunjin and Jake, trying to fall asleep again to distract myself from the seasickness i was feeling..

I kind of leaned back in my seat, letting my head fall back and closing my eyes. Jake saw what i was doing and decided to comment on it. “you didn’t sleep all night or something?” he says jokingly, folding his arms infront of his chest and laughing slightly.

“i did.. i’m just feeling kinda sick..” I mumble back to him, sighing and trying to drift off again.

“put your head on my shoulder then, you’ll break your neck sleeping like that.” he sighs again, gesturing for me to come closer to him. I shrug and rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and finally starting to feel tired enough to fall asleep. I could still hear the small snarky comments of some girls around, spitting quiet insults at me seeing how close i was to Jake. I ignored it but it was kind of sweet how he shushed them and insulted them back in a small whisper to not wake me up.

The others were sitting across from us, watching the scene. Honestly, to alot people we’d probably look like a couple right now..

“yo, she sleeping?” Heeseung whispers as he leans forward, slightly tapping my shoulder, making me shift a little and groan lightly in my sleep.

“are you blind or something?.. duh, she’s sleeping.” Jake slaps Hee’s hand away from my shoulder.

“cute..” Heeseung whispers again, kind of messing with me in my sleep. Slightly tapping or poking me, getting small reactions out of me to make himself laugh.

“dude stop, you’ll wake her up..” Jake whisper scolds him, but also kind of giggling as he saw the small movements i did whenever i got poked.

“yah! why are you two bothering y/n?.. let her sleep.” Yunjin scolds the both of them in a whisper as well, moving my head from Jake’s shoulder to hers.

The two boys roll their eyes and start talking about something random. Soon enough, we get to the island. Everyone waking up and or getting their luggage and getting off the ferry.

After at least 5 hours of travel, we finally get to the damn hotel. It was a nice place, not far from the beach and the rooms were so comfy. Me, Yunjin, Minji, Kazuha and Chaewon get into our room, which was actually big enough for all 5 of us. There were two beds big enough to fit 2 people and then a small sofa that was big enough for one person, so i decided to sleep on that sofa.

The guys got to their own room and our chaperones let us settle in for the rest of the day. Most of us explored the hotel, or went to the beach. I decided to shower and then head to the hotel’s lounge, surprised to see Jake there. He was listening to some music and scrolling through his phone. I walked up to him and sat next to him, surprising him a little.

Jake takes out his airpods and smile as he sees me take a seat beside him. “hey.. your room okay?”

“mhm.. i’m sleeping on that small sofa, you?” i give him a small head tilt.

“i’m sleeping with Jay.. he sleeps like a rock so i’ll be fine.” he chuckles softly, putting his phone in his pocket. He scoots a little closer to me, one of his hands on my thigh now and gently stroking it with his thumb. “i’d rather sleep with you though..” he says jokingly, still stroking my thigh.

“mhm, sure you would..” I say sarcastically with a small eye roll. “you plan on bringing any girls into your hotel room this week?” I give him a small smile, letting him touch my thigh. It wasn’t a big deal to me, i was used to him being touchy now, but it felt kind of different this time..

“nah.. just wanna hang out with you guys, y’know?.. maybe you though?” Jake smirks a bit as he jokes again, or was it a joke?

“cmon, what’s with you?..” i ask with a gentle giggle, feeling him slightly squeeze my thigh.

“nothing’s with me.. just.. you look really cute to me right now..” he looks down at his hand, moving it up my thigh a little more, his fingers going as far as to slightly slide under the fabric of my pajama shorts. “you wanna head to my room?.. The guys and i wanted to have a few drinks if you wanna join?”

“drinks?.. sure, i’m down for that.” i nod and we get up from the couch, going upstairs to his hotel room.

As soon as Jaeyun opened the door to his room, oh dear god, my eyes widened.

All those boys were shirtless and with damp hair, all wearing baggy sweatpants or shorts. I could see the logo of their boxers sticking out.. either Calvin Klein or Supreme. What was this friend group!? They were all so hot, like.. SO HOT. I tried to act nonchalant and casual, but my red face was giving me away.

“aish, can’t you guys wear some shirts?..” Jake mutters, placing a hand over my eyes as he guides me inside the room and closes the door behind us.

“Jake it’s fine..” i mumble, taking his hand off my eyes and taking a long look at the boys again. Heeseung was probably the one who caught my attention the most. His abs, biceps, v-line… dear lord help me.

“like what you see, y/n?” Heeseung chuckles, putting on a shirt and covering that panty dropper of a body again, thankfully.

The other boys put on some shirts too, taking out some beers from their mini cooler and handing me one. We all sit in a small circle on the floor, talking and getting a little drunk after a few hours. We were all a little tipsy but Heeseung and Sunghoon were the drunkest. They were both blabbering nonsense and or saying the most random shit. It was kinda late, around 1 or 2 am.

We had all moved to sitting on the beds. I was yet again, sitting next to Jake and his right hand was literally between my thighs, caressing them in a gentle manner. We were mostly laughing and making fun of the two drunks, but also getting kind of tired. Yunjin had texted me to come back to our room soon since it was getting late so i was gonna leave soon anyway.

Heeseung was starting to look at me in a kind of.. mad way?.. He started getting kind of moody out of nowhere.. and then spoke up. Sunghoon had passed out on the bed and was even drooling onto the sheets.

“you two are so.. ugh.” he mumbles and scoffs, looking away and rolling his eyes.

“hyung you should stop drinking..” Jake says in a caring tone, taking away his friend’s drink away.

“yah!.. give me my beer back.” Heeseung says in a kind of mad tone. Shit was about to go down. Jay and i give eachother an “oh shit” type of look.

“hyung, seriously.. you shouldn’t drink anymore.” Jake says in a more serious tone,

“don’t tell me what to fucking do!.. i wanna drink so let me d-drink.” Hee replies in a firm tone, getting up from his bed and approaching us.

Jay motions for me to come to him so i get off the bed i was currently sitting on, going beside Jay now and watching the drama that was gonna down before us. The two start arguing, Heeseung starting to get a little physical as he tries to grab another drink from the cooler, Jake pushing him away and scolding him for acting like an asshole right now for no reason. “what the fuck is with you?”

“with me?.. Stop fucking touching y/n so much.. You’re always all over her, it’s fucking annoying.” Heeseung says in an angry tone, his eyes darting to Jake’s hands between my thighs. “you can’t even keep your hands off her for a one second..” he mutters, rubbing his forehead and groaning.

“huh?.. So what? The fuck you getting mad at it for?.. The only person it’s starting to bother is you.” Jake replies in a defensive and irritated tone.

“fucking hell man!.. It’s just ugh! I hate seeing that shit.. That’s why i posted that shit about you!” Hee blurted out in a fit of anger, barely realizing what’d he said before it was too late.

Me and Jay were both confused on what was going on, Hee looking at me with this small frown and letting out a small sound of frustration.

“fuck, i just.. i didn’t do it on purpose!.. i’m sorry i was just mad.. and drunk.. like right now!”

“Heeseung what are you talking about?..” Jay asks in a gentle tone, hoping to calm his friends down.

“what? what didn’t you do on purpose??” Jake asks with furrowed eyebrows, already getting a bad feeling at his hyung’s answer.

“i did it!.. i posted that damn video! of you and y/n.. it was me, okay? It’s been eating at me for m-months..” Heeseung admits, running a hand through his hair and looks at the ground. He sighs before he continues. “I knew y/n before you knew she even existed.. She’s just so cute and ugh!.. But i overheard her talking with Yunjin in the library that she’d never go out with a guy like you or me.. and i just got so pissed when i saw you two making out at that damn party!.. I wasn’t gonna post it but then the next morning i saw you two in bed together and you didn’t even know her name and i just.. i was hung over and i snapped.” He was talking so fast and he was so drunk his words were kind of hard to make out. I was in shock, Jay’s jaw was on the floor, Sunghoon was still out cold on the bed and Jake was giving Heeseung a death stare.

“what?..YOU WHAT?” Jake grabbed Heeseung by the collar, getting in his face and a vein starting to pop out of his neck.

“Jaeyun. No, don’t..” Jay says firmly, ripping Jake off of Heeseung as i just watch this whole thing play out. Jay turns towards me and gets a softer tone of voice. “y/n.. you should go..”

I just stand, my brain still trying to process was Hee had just admitted to, shaking my head back into reality and walking out of their hotel room. I was scared on how all this would go, but i knew i couldn’t get in the way of it right now. I was just hoping no one would get hurt.

🔗 ❤️

The next morning basically everyone was in the cafeteria eating from the breakfast buffet. I was looking for Jake.. or any one of those dumbasses to explain what happened. I didn’t wanna bother them with texts or calls.. i also didn’t wanna seem nosy or anything if i came to their door so all i could do was wait until someone reached out to me of if i ran into them around the hotel.

I was picking after my food, not feeling like eating. My mind was way too preoccupied with what Heeseung had said last night. He liked me?.. He was the one who posted that video of me and Jake?.. I mean, he had hit on me the first few times we met after i started becoming friends with Jake, but he did that with so many girls i never thought anything about it. Now some things started to make sense, but also didn’t at the same time.

What Jay said before about Jake being attentive to the small details about me, Jake telling me why he was such a fuckboy.. even if it was in such a vague way. It all made me want to know more, i wanted to understand what was going on. Everything was so confusing and there were loose threads all over the place. How did my life get so complicated this year?

I hadn’t told Yunjin about any of this, even though i wanted to. I just felt like it wasn’t my place to say such personal things to someone who wasn’t close to them. The girls could tell i was feeling down, and they all questioned it a little but i brushed them off. They mostly let it go, but i could tell they knew something was off.

After a few minutes of just staring into space at my plate of food, i felt a small tap on my arm, Chaewon whispering quietly. “y/n.. Jake’s here and uh..” she trails off, letting me see for myself.

I look at her with a relieved expression, sighing contently and then my eyes searching the room for Jake. My heart sank when i did though.

He was walking into the cafeteria, wearing the same clothes he had on the night prior, messy hair and hickeys!? They were all over his neck. I felt a surge of anger grow inside me. What the fuck?.. I actually felt more disappointed than mad, actually more confused than anything. Jake’s eyes meet mine across the room and he just looks away from me, sitting at a random empty table. He looked ashamed and sad. It was clear he didn’t wanna talk to me right now. Shortly after, this girl walks in the cafeteria, wearing one of Jake’s shirts and sits beside him, smiling and giving him a small kiss.

I felt my heartbeat speed up, cold sweat starting to break out my forehead and my throat went dry. I felt like my stomach was gonna fall out my ass and honestly i wanted to rip that bitch’s hair out. Was i jealous?.. He was being so like.. UGH with me yesterday and even before! And now he suddenly hooks up with a random girl!? Was i just delusional to think he was starting to like me then?..

I was in such deep thought, i didn’t even realize someone was walking towards me. Chaewon gently shakes me again and motions her head towards a certain direction. I snap out of it and look up to where Chaewon gestured to, seeing Heeseung infront of me. I get a small blush on my face and Hee rapidly pulls me out of my chair, dragging me out of the cafeteria and into a corner of the hallway. He sighs and groans slightly as he rubs his eyes a little to wake himself up. He clearly had just gotten up..

“y/n.. i know you’re probably confused.. and even mad.. but i wanna explain..” Heeseung says to me in a soft and tired tone, looking deep into my eyes. “i know i fucked up by posting that video.. i told Jake this as well, but he didn’t even wanna listen to me. I know it isn’t an excuse but when i actually did post it, i didn’t think he’d even care… cause why would he, right?.. But then you two started hanging out and questioning everyone about it.. god i wanted to just seuck it up and say it was me but.. fuck, i liked you.. i didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Hee.. you seriously liked me?.. Like actually?..” i ask in a gentle tone, not wanting to seem upset with him, even though i was.

“yeah.. i did. But fucking hell, the moment you left our hotel room he started debating whether he should go after you or not.. and that’s when i realized he probably has something for you that i never did..” Heeseung sighs, trying to remember what happened next since he still had that raging hangover. “y/n.. i know me and Jake.. we both seem like assholes who just fuck around for shits and giggles.. maybe that’s all i wanted with you, i have no fucking clue.. but i know damn well that’s not what Jake wants with you.. he hasn’t felt anything real in a long time.”

“then what the-? Who the fuck is she!?.. God you boys are so damn confusing!” i kind of snap, feeling all my frustrations start to come out.

“I KNOW! Damn girl let me finish..” Hee sighs, trying to calm me down before continuing. “Jake went to your hotel room after he cooled down a bit but when he knocked, Kazuha answered and said you were already sleeping.. both of them didn’t wanna wake you so that dumbass went to the hotel’s bar to have a drink and.. well i guess you can figure out the rest..”

I frowned. I was disappointed in Jake, even mad. He had slept with another girl when he liked me?.. What kind of a guy does that?.. I was just kind of quiet. Maybe i shouldn’t put my hopes into it.. maybe i should just move on. Me and Jake weren’t even an actual thing so why was i getting my panties in a twist over this? But i guess deep down i knew i was feeling something for him too.

That day, our chaperones let us explore the island a little, kind of giving us a day to have fun and relax in the nice weather. Me and the girls were sunbathing near the beach, wearing our swimsuits and sunglasses.

My bikini was black, it highlighted my breasts perfectly and the bottom even had a small skirt over the underwear part. It was a very cute yet sexy type of swimsuit and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t wear it to catch someone’s attention. I was trying to get my mind off of Jake, even Heeseung, just anything.. i wanted some peace cause at this point, my emotions were just overwhelming me.

I posted a selfie of us underneath the sunlight and kind of purposely showing off my body to make sure a CERTAIN guy would get jealous, though i doubt it would.

🔗 ❤️

My eyes were closed, relaxing and soaking in all that vitamin D i had been lacking for a while. Suddenly, my body cooled and i couldn’t feel the warmth of the sun anymore. I thought it was maybe a cloud but when i opened my eyes, there was Jake infront of me. Looking down at me, his expression kind of blank and it looked like he wanted to say something.

“we need to talk.” Jake says in a hushed tone, grabbing me from my pool bed and pulling me away from the beach, throwing us inside some small cabin near the sand. The girls were confused on why he just snatched me away, so they all got up and put their ears to the wooden door.

“what the hell?.. let go of me.” I scoff, pulling his arm off me and crossing my arms, looking at him up and down. “what do you even wanna talk about?.. You never tell me anything anyways!.. You were actually being genuine with me for weeks and i don’t know if i’m fucking delusional or something, but i thought you actually liked me somehow! Then you go and fuck some other girl just because i was asleep?.. I don’t know who the fuck hurt you but i don’t understand you at all.” I kind of raise my voice, letting out all my thoughts and frustrations on him, finally saying what i’d been thinking for the past few hours.

“y/n.. please, listen.” Jake says in a softer voice, running a hand through his dark brown hair and looking at me in the eyes, a regretful expression on his face. “I know i messed up.. and i’m so sorry. I was frustrated and drunk, and i know it isn’t an excuse but please just listen for me for a minute.” he gently holds my hands in his and pulls me closer to him. “I don’t why i did that.. but i swear, i swear on my mom’s damn life if that’s what you want, that she meant NOTHING. She was just there.. and i’m so sorry. I know nothing i can say can change what i did..”

“i don’t even know why i’m so mad.. we aren’t anything.. you know what, forget what i said, i don’t even wanna talk about it. I feel stupid even opening my mouth.” I sigh, looking at the ground and pulling my hands away from his.

“no, i’m not forgetting this y/n. I want us to be something.. i want you. I know i fucked up.. let me show you that i’m being real about you..” he says desperately, almost whispering that last part as he pulls me in again by the waist this time, his warm breath hitting my face.

“Jake?.. what are you doing..” I mumble in a quieter tone, his hands gently sliding up and down my sides. I could feel my heartbeat picking up and my face getting hot.

“y/n.. let me make you feel good.. i’ve been dying to for so long..” Jake whispers into my ear sensually, his hands slowly making their way down to my thighs and he suddenly picks me up, pushing me against the wall of that shed and holding my thighs up. “Wrap your legs around me..”

I was still so mad and confused but damn i was turned on now. I couldn’t help but melt at his touch and words, my legs slightly wobbly already as i wrapped them around his waist.

“baby i know you’re mad but let me make it up to you..” he whispers again, already undoing my bikini strings and slipping his veiny hands under my top, squeezing and massaging my bare breasts.

“Jake.. stop..” I say in a slightly breathy tone, feeling my body heat up and i try to push him off.

“nu-uh.. push me all you want, i know you want this too..” He leans in closer, his lips quickly pressing onto mine as he forces his tongue into my mouth. “y/n.. baby.. please kiss me back. Fuck, i wanna feel you so badly..” he says in such a desperate and soft way, making me give in and kiss him back.

“i’m still mad though..” I whisper between kisses, trying to stop myself but i just couldn’t.

“I know.. and i’m so sorry.. let me make it up to you, hm baby?.. Let me fuck you so good you’ll forget all about being mad at me..” Jake whispers back against my lips, groping and grabbing at every part of my body he could find, slowly grinding the growing tent in his pants against me.

God how was he so good at this!? My mind was going fuzzy as he ran his hands all over me, pulling my bikini off. I watched as he slowly undressed himself as well, pulling off his t-shirt slowly and revealing that gorgeous body of his. Unbuckling his belt and breathing heavily as he slid his pants down to pool at his ankles. The way he moved, talked, touched.. it was all so fucking sexy. Now i REALLY understood why so many girls sleep with him..

The girls who had been listening to all this through the wall started looking at eachother with wide eyes and quickly ran back to their pool beds, pretending as if they didn’t know what he and i were now doing in that shack..

Jake and i were breathing heavily, his torso pressed up against my back. His face buried in the nape of my neck as he tightly held onto my hips. It was LITERALLY the best sex i’d ever had..

“Jake.. can you tell me why you don’t get into serious relationships?..” I knew it was a sudden subject after being intimate with someone, but the question had been picking at my brain for months, ever since he told me about it at that cafe.

“uh- i.. damn.. okay that came out of nowhere?.. This is kind of a hard subject..” He mutters softly, sighing a little. He kisses my neck softly and starts dressing the both of us again, all the while, starting to talk about his past. “Well.. i used to have a girlfriend back when i was a senior in highschool.. so basically almost 5 years ago. Anyways.. she was like my first actual relationship, you know?.. I put so much time and effort for her, loved her with everything i could.. But i guess it wasn’t enough cause as soon as we started to talk about going to college together..” he sighed again, looking more gloomy as he put his belt back on. “I passed by her place to drop off some things she’d left at mine.. and- that’s when i caught her cheating on me.. with some college guy she had met. I still don’t even know his fucking name..” I could tell he was getting pissed telling this story. “She said she saw me more as a safety net than anything else.. and that if i tried to leave her she’d leak all the shit i’d sent her. That’s why i got so pissed when i saw that video of us.. it just brought back bad memories..”

I felt bad for Jake, hell, i could understand where he was coming from. But i also felt for all those girls he used as a way of coping. I kissed his lips once again, letting out a deep breath and looking deep into his eyes.

“i’m sorry that happened to you, but it’s not a reason to take it out on other people. Heeseung thinks you hate him now, and i know you don’t. Please talk to him, okay?..” I whisper in a little voice. Jake nods, sighing and then pulls me in for another hug.

“i’m still really sorry about that other girl though..” he murmurs as he trails light pecks on my neck.

“make it up to me..” I answer, running my fingers through his hair and placing gentle kisses on his head, even laughing a little.

“sex isn’t enough?” he grins playfully, obviously joking. “Hm.. i’ll take care of you, buy presents for you, come over whenever you need me.. and uh- i’ll even buy you those grape gummies you like so much every day if i have to.” he says quickly and excitedly. He was acting like a happy puppy, and it was so damn adorable.

“fine fine.. you’re off the hook.”

🔗 ❤️

Jake did end up talking to Heeseung. I didn’t see them all afternoon but i knew everything would be okay. They had been friends since the beginning of college and they were like brothers to eachother.

Eventually, i heard back from those two and everything was okay. Yunjin was so confused about what had been going on for these past few weeks, especially after what she and the other girls heard in that small pool house near the beach.. so i decided to tell her EVERYTHING, with Jake beside me of course.

Our Jeju trip had come to an end before we knew it though.. I was kinda sad about it but i was so glad about the outcome. The guys were on good terms again, no one had no more secrets to keep to themselves, and Jake was officially mine. He made sure every girl he’d ever hooked up with would know he was taken now. Posting me, making us buy matching clothes, even putting me as his wallpaper. Some girls were obviously not happy about it, but they could go fuck themselves.

The rest of the school year was spent with studying, studying and more studying to graduate. Graduation year was the hardest year ever, and that was completely normal but damn was it tiring.. I was almost at the end of the tunnel though, and we all had eachother for support.

Graduation day was way more fun than i had ever imagined it. I had changed so much in one year and all because of one guy. He really made come out of my shell. It had been almost 2 months since me and Jake started dating at this point, yet we still hadn’t had the courage to say ‘i love you.’

I was packing my things, going to my parent’s for the summer. I wanted to spend time with my folks and my hometown, visit my brother as well. Jake was helping me pack, well if you call trying to distract me packing..

“baby.. take a break, you’ve been doing this for hours.” he groans, hugging me from the back and starting to plant light kisses on my cheek and neck.

“Jake.. i’m almost done, leave me alone.” I say in a playfully firm tone. He knew i didn’t mean it in a mean way, i just wanted to concentrate.

“aw come on.. you can’t make some time for me?..” he starts to lower his tone, his lips moving down to my shoulder and his hands starting to wander to the waistband of my denim shorts.

“babe.. seriously, i’m almost done. Later..” I mumble, trying to push him off a little but he wouldn’t budge. His hold on me got tighter and he started to move tug at my shorts, pulling them down slightly.

“if i told you i love you, will you pay attention to me?” he whispers again, his hands sliding up and under my shirt, groping my boobs and smiling to himself.

“wait what?” i look over my shoulder and at him. Did i hear that right? “you what?”

“i love you.. and i wanna give you some lovin’ right now..” He laughs softly with that stupid expression on his face. I smile back at him, giving him a gentle kiss. I became all soft and red, feeling the butterflies in my stomach bounce around if that was even possible. I had been waiting for this moment, and i finally got it.

“I love you too.. but that was so cheesy..” I whisper against his lips, laughing as well as my hand crawled up into his hair and gently tugging at it.

“I know..” he whispers back, turning me around for me to face him completely and backing me up into a wall. “Fuck packing though.. i was serious about that lovin’..”

“stop saying that..” I laugh again. “But you’re still helping after..”

“yeah yeah..” he mutters with a small nod, heavily kissing me, not even letting me kiss him back. “I love you, i love you, i love you..” he repeated, making the both of us giggle and smile.

I felt pure joy whenever i was with him, talking with him, kissing him. He just lit me up. I never thought i’d be with someone like Sim Jaeyun, but here we are.

I guess something good can come out of a drunken mistake.

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If you made it all the way down here, thank you so so so so so much! I worked pretty hard on this and i hope it was easy and nice to read, even if it is a little on the longer side. 💗💗

#enhypen ff #enhypen #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jake #enhypen niki #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen jay #enhypen sunoo #enhypen heeseung #enha #enha x reader #enha scenarios

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