#no fr this. whole fucking dumbass. brought a can and was like 'do you have a can opener' and i was like No

[todayisafridaynight]

SOOO true... I feel like Arakawa hardly even knows any pokemon other than Pikachu and whichever ones he happens to see on the covers or on Ichi and/or Mitsu's screens when he walks past them... so at the beginning his argument for the lions is from the heart and then Ichi's infodumping just makes it devolve into digging his heels in to see how red in the face Ichi gets about it...

Jo skims through pokedex entries online on his own time later so he can have an informed opinion... but even if he can intellectually acknowledge that the pokemon would win, he will Under No Circumstances hand anything to Ichiban... so he just dodges the question if anyone asks to try and get him on their side...

In Short I Hate Them <3 (<- for things I just made up about them)

EXACTLY bruh....... all in all neither of them can let ichi win for one reason or another </3

#snap chats #arakawa wont let up because its funny. sawashiros just like that </3 #anyway sorry this took an hour to respond to ive been dealing with a dumbass all night #ive decided to not bully daigobear anymore because ive decided my irl friend causes me a significantly worse headache #and its nt the funny kind like db does </3 #no fr this. whole fucking dumbass. brought a can and was like 'do you have a can opener' and i was like No #so we try t open a can SHE BROUGHT with a knife i have and then shes like 'oh i have a can opener :0 its at my dorm :0' #LIKE....... the pinnacle of stupid im literally running out of ways to call her stupid and its borderline frustrating at this point #ALRIGHT RAMBLE DONE I NEEDED TO VENT OR ID EXPLODE #im still baffled she functions every day..... like my god in heaven.....

[diorsluv]

feather , part 14

“ i feel so much lighter, like a feather ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, rutgermcgroarty, jamie.drysdale, and 58,100 others

yourusername so i went to the mall w eddy and mackie and NO ONE TOLD ME THERES TARGET IN MALLS NOW???

tagged: mackie.samo

view all comments

username87 sweetie there’s always been targets in malls

→ yourusername SINCE WHEN TF

_alexturcotte yooo did you buy the teddy bear??

→ yourusername no ethan said there would be no room for it in the car when we drive home 😔

→ _alexturcotte ah damn i was gonna steal it from you

username35 omg they went into one of the expensive clothes stores

username28 if they wore that and tried to break into my house honestly i’d let them

→ username7 FRRRR

edwards.73 you were skipping through the aisles as soon as we walked into target

→ mackie.samo fr we had to pretend like we didn’t know you

→ yourusername i hate you both

jamie.drysdale you know i can see your credit card history right

→ yourusername UHHHHH MOM SAID NO ONE COULD SEE IT BUT ME

→ jamie.drysdale she lied to you

→ trevorzegras whats she been buying 👀

→ jamie.drysdale a 50 pack of takis, 4 squishmallows and way too many kids toys

→ yourusername I BOUGHT ONE CONTAINER OF SLIME. ONE. jamie.drysdale

lhughes_06 should’ve brought me, i would’ve paid for u

→ yourusername oh it’s okay i’d feel bad 😭

→ colecaufield you are insanely dense lil drizzy

username94 it’s so endearing how they’re having so much fun together

jackhughes maybe i should’ve gone with you

→ yourusername no i would’ve had 10x less fun if you came with

→ jackhughes ok buddy 😐😐

bookerburke_ i’ll take you to every mall with a target in it as soon as you get back

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, luca.fantilli, trevorzegras, and 99,837 others

yourusername i’m never playing val with these idiots ever again oh my god like THE LACK OF ASSISTS WAS UNBELIEVABLE

view all comments

markestapa the only reason u could even play valorant was bc i let u use my pc so be quiet

→ yourusername yeah and i got you to gold 3

→ markestapa I WAS AT PLAT 2

→ yourusername YOU MADE ME PLAY ON UR UNRANKED ACCOUNT DUMMY

→ markestapa oh um well IT’S NOT RADIANT SOOOO

rutgermcgroarty such a gamer girl

→ yourusername never say that again i’m begging you

username80 i don’t understand anything but yessss!!

→ username47 fr at this point im jus faking it all

dylanduke25 okay well the rest of us were playing on our laptops

→ yourusername marks pc was laggier than ur laptops 🙄🙄

→ markestapa MY LAG WAS SKYROCKETING

trevorzegras play val with me rn i dare you

→ yourusername okay mr “i dropped from gold to bronze”

→ trevorzegras hey don’t expose me like that 😕

username37 what is this gold, bronze, plat speak i don’t get it

_quinnhughes oh so thats what all that yelling was

→ jackhughes i heard her from down the street

→ _quinnhughes “MOVE MOVE MOVE YOU DUMBASSES”

→ yourusername 🙍‍♂️🙍‍♂️🔫🙃

bookerburke_ i’ve never played this game before, only cod and overwatch so i dont get the lingo 😭

→ yourusername oh it’s okay i’ll explain it to you 🤗🤗

→ username82 the “lingo” 😭😭

edwards.73 i didn’t do THAT bad

→ mackie.samo liar i was looking at your screen the whole time

→ lhughes_06 dude you were dead weight

→ yourusername my kda was 5/0/0 and urs was 0/5/0 we are NOT the same ❌

next chapter notes ) i actually have a grudge against all val players and they all frustrate me to no end (I NEVER GET FUCKING ASSISTS) anywayyy i hope u enjoyed this and im getting back on the grind i promise 🤍🤍

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s

#luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes #quinn hughes #jack hughes #alex turcotte #cole caufield #trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #mackie samoskevich #mark estapa #dylan duke #ethan edwards #luca fantilli #adam fantilli #rutger mcgroarty

[emomanswhore]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟPRESENTING 〔 🌠 〕 BAKI-DAY ‘22 !! ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

. .★. 112022 . .★.

HAPPY 20th ─⊹⊱✰⊰⊹─ BAKI .! ↻ .! @TOUYYES

SO it is my baby’s birthday today 😋 my prettiest, special lil twinky dinky @touyyes ! orrr whom y’all better know as baki ! before i start my lil speechy speech, MAKE SURE YALL GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. it’s not just any birthday either,, my baby made it to 20 YEARS OLD. tbh,, that’s old as hell 😟 buuutttt she a lil cute or whatever. so i guess it’s okay that baki has OFFICIALLY departed from the teens. so yeah, pretty please go stop by her inbox n scream happy birthday 🎈🎂🎊

to my dearest princess, baki … 💌🧁🍓

TODAY IS YOUR DAYYY MAANNNN ITS OFFICIALLY BADDIE SEASON NOW THAT YOUR DAY HAS FINALLY COME 💋🦂 !! how you feeling?? hope you feeling good and your special day is good, well, and fun !! as if i literally don’t know what you're doing rn so ! even though we are a whole ass continent apart and im not able to give you a physical gift- i wanted to give you a lil' serenade and tell you some stuff, that's coming straight from the heart 🤍💕 (and coochie so if i say some fruitcake shit.… i did go in heat momentarily arrooo 🅰️🅱️🅾️)

it's not only your birthday today- BUT ! it also our one year anniversary!! (we not gon count those few months prior that we met, cuz im tryna be romantic and cute rn 🛌) - a WHOLEASS YEAR, LIKE ?? has time gone by incredibly fast, or is it just me? but with spending this past year with you, i've come to learn so much abt you ! whether that's the deep hyperfixation on things you'll periodically get n then get over, your love for the sea n swimming, or even down to the lil things that make up your personality!

in my eyes, you really are like a star ! so dazzling, bright, and the way you shine brings everyone in and makes them INSTANTLY attracted to you 💫 from your charm, to your outgoing and cool nature, and to how fucking hilarious you are. like istg i've literally never had anyone match the same energy as me, and deadass make my lungs clatter and collapse into my stomach from how hard i laugh 🐽💥 speaking of matching energy, man,, i cant even use certain emojis unironically no more cuz we ruined the meaning of them, with the dumbass lil emoji combos we came up with

it's crazy how i can't do certain things without thinking of you. literally rent free in my damn mind, and it's literally cuz we talk damn near everyday 🤕 like if i go even a full 24 hours without talking to you, it's very obvious that im sad n not in a good mood. bitch you literally have me in a chokehold and this shit doesn’t seem to be coming apart anytime soon 🧎🏽‍♀️🕳⛓ if you wanted someone who’s gonna be obsessed with you for the rest of your life, congratulations. cuz i don’t plan on ever letting you go, and you are MINE forever 😋🩸🪓 (possessive alpha mode grrr ruff ruff)

i could literally go on and brag about you for the rest of my life fr. like words can never truly express the amount of adoration and love i have for you. like i literally see MYSELF in you— that could be from us sharing so many common interests, or to the way we come up with crazy ass (delusions) headcanons of our bfs. you’ve become the biggest supporter and lover in my world ! even now with me recently starting to seriously write, you’ve had my back all the way through it. helping me proofread, giving me ideas n suggestions, and all around helping me feel confident n happy with my work !! 💗

i could never thank you enough, and express the full gratitude n appreciation i have for you. just YOU— n im so lucky that you’ve come into my life and made every day so much better. november gave me the best things,, it was the month you were brought into this world, and eventually the month that has made us as close as we are now ! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💕

baki, you are the light of my life. my partner in crime, my wifey and the twinkling little star that i always look forward to seeing. the stacy to my chellery, and actual love of my life. i love you so very much, and i can’t wait to celebrate our special month of november next year, the year after that, and the future years that i plan to spend with you 🤍 💍

HAAAPPPYY BIRRTHHDDAAYYY STAAYYCEE !!

#❥ BAKI—DAY !! ♡︎ #LORELEI’S PRINCESS— STAYCEE🧁🍓

[forjongseong]

*knocking* since it’s written there

lol me reading something about studying as soon as i finished my exams🤡🤡. and it’s a studying for stupid IETLS. it’s not a studying it’s more a (stu)dying. hate everything that starts with sty- and ends with -dying.

so why heeseung getting the same score as before seems so funny to me??? and his excuse “i’d have gotten less without you”🙄. hope these tutoring sessions really helped him and he doesn’t have any problems during his study abroad. jake hoon hi🤭

okay okay okay that little interaction between y/n and the waitress!!! please tell me why do the waiters always want to pick up the dirty dishes right after i eat the last bite? they’re hunters with hawk eyes sometimes. what if i want to sit around dirty dishes a little longer mhm??

and student! jay being late reminded me of sec! rookie jay🥹 despite the fact that he came late he definitely called the impression. what an impression!! y/n was lowkey panicking admiring his handsomeness.girl same. we understand her cause look at him!! he doesn't have to do anything and i drool over him. tmi. a majestic black cat. jay’s never beating the black cat allegations fr.

him wanting a higher score than heeseung it’s just a boy moment. yk like boys comparing their dick sizes or number of hookups. boys🙄

AND WDYM WRTING ESSAY THE WAY JAY DOES IS WRONG????😟😟 i do it the same way??? for whole my life??? bro you should’ve written this fic a long time ago so maybe now my essay writing skills were at an all time high hdhdhd.

why was she surprised when he called the students stupid? if they don't listen to tutor who they paid money to who are they if not dumbasses?🤡 jay speaking facts right there.

y/n can’t stay mad at him for being late? simp behavior! him inviting her over to his house? act of a predator i think. nah forget it!! he just too cute with his nervous rumbling. like a virgin 🤭

EVERYONE PLEASE RISE FOR JAY IN RIMLESS GLASSES.🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️MAN LOOKS WAY TOO GOOD IN THEM. and without them too.

false and not-given questions!!!! bro i hate it with all my heart and soul. always confuse me. jay and me in the same boat. we’re besties😎. just listen i can totally see with my eyes that needed information isn’t written in a question but what if i’m THAT stupid and i just didn’t comprehend it?? this type of questions is like “choose a correct answer: 1) a+a=2a; 2)a+a=a^2; 3)a+a=a”. fuck them.

“If I get the answer right,” he began, “would you show me your boobs?” OKAY I GET IT YOU’RE BOLD BRAVE DARING. “Alright, why not? Nothing to lose here,” NOT OKAY GAHSGSG. she should’ve not fallen for it. i honestly didn’t expect her to say that. i thought she’d react like a responsible tutor with “are you out of your mind? are those questions that hard to answer? i can explain it to you again” and laugh it out. but she’s wild and we love it.

NAUR JAY YOU PUSSY😭😭😭 YOU DARED NOONA TO SHOW YOU BOOBS YET YOU CHICKENED OUT NAUR DON’T BE LIKE THAT. AND NOOO CONSTRUCTION WORKER PLEASE READ THE ROOM. he surely doesn’t have a nunchi (plz get this joke🙏).

“I meant like, I think I could get motivated a lot if there was a reward waiting if I get a question right. Or if I reach a certain score in a mock test, don’t you think?” sure sure let’s see where your little game takes you. sorry it reminded me of dog that waits for the treat after completing the trick🤡

“Well, you’d probably be getting in between something.”…and you brought your hand to your thigh, patting it. STOP THE MADNESS RIGHT THERE. I CANT HANDLE IT.

*clearing my throat* *cough cough* usually 7.5 rounds off to 8 so Jay could receive a blowjob hahah. the makeout🤌🤌🤌 please kissing licking sucking jays birthmark😫😫 that’s all we want. is that too much to ask?

“Seamless,” he commented as he eyed your panties. would be cute if it was polka dots or striped panties🤭.

so jay is that of boyfriend who prioritizes his partners pleasure over his own? huh? and his fingers?? the way they curl??? he plays the guitar doesn’t he?? you have be good with fingers for that no?? once chance jay one chance im begging.

“It’s unfair,” Jay began, “the way you taste as good as you smell.” sir it’s unfair the way you look hot as you sit as you breath as you walk as you exist. you shouldn’t talk about the unfairness in this situation.

“In that case,” you said, pushing his chest slightly so he could move away from you. You tugged down your panties that had stayed on the whole time, and when you took them off your ankles you handed them to Jay. ughhhhhhghgg i just know he was jerking off holding panties with one hand right under his nose. like 🤤🤤

okay where the angst came from???😃😃 “I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me, but I also don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” the audacity. HAGAGAGAGAG BOY YOU FUNNY. made my giggle at night.

“If I get over 7.5—”“I’ll treat you to lunch.” what it's like to get the same thing in return? pleasant right? nice jay. good job. and you tell me he’s the top student in class? bro is stupider than these students who didn’t listen to y/n’s advices in the first part of fic. even though he get 8.5 he still stupid.

“The day of our last meeting when I said I needed to remain focused. I was trying to confess to you.” see!! who confesses like this??? only stupid boys. i get it. jay is just a book smart. what if before y/n noona he only saw human body in med books😱😱 he’s nerd after all.

“When I said if I get more than 7.5, I was going to say I wanted to eat you out.” top5 phrases to ruin the mood.

why he’s teasing her!?!?! why he’s teasing us?!/!/! please just fuck her already with your huge and thick and beautiful (i just know it) dick!!

“Tell me if it’s okay to move,” he whispered ever so gently before kissing your nose. but a point to him waiting till yn adjusts.🥹

Your hand was looking a little lonely, so he took it and intertwined his fingers with yours. fhfghfg “your hand looks heavy. can i hold it for you?”🤓

“So, what are we?” You asked in the most straightforward manner. TOP1 PHRASE TO RUIN THE MOOD.

GIRL I REREAD THE REWARD FOR THE THIRD TIME AND ITS 6 AM I DIDNT GET ANY SLEEP IM OVERWHELMED BYE

I read this review three times already and it's hilarious every time omg not you DRAGGING jay and literally calling him book smart, brave and a pussy in the same sentence, stupid and smart in the same sentence I AM CACKLING

glad you think it's wild because that means I achieved something... this is still by far my favorite one shot i have ever written for jay!

#by far best feedback too! #more like because none gave lengthy feedback lol #and i oop #nanaanswers #nana smile file #nanafeedbacks #fic: the reward #from.eva #p.s. if anyone is looking for an online IELTS tutor i actually AM one

[chokemeanakin]

This is my first time interacting but I was watching some Anakin tiktok edits and I feel like he would just love to stare at and study his partners face during whatever activity they were doing like……that man likes to watch. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdpTqkmH/ this is the specific edit but look at the way his eyes study people and just focus intently 👻 it’s taking up too much mind space 😭

THE WAY HE ALWAYS TILTS HIS HEAD DOWN SLOWLY WHILE KEEPING EYE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE 💦💦💦💦💦💦 AND LIKE FOLLOWS THEIR FACE TO KEEP THAT CONTACT💦💦💦💦

💦💦💦💦AND HE ALWAYS DOES THAT LOOK-DOWN-LOOK-UP THING LIKE HES CONSTANTLY CHECKING PEOPLE OUT 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

(fr if you watch closely in the beginning of rots on board the invisible hand anakins like “r2 stay with the ship” and as he turns away he looks r2 up and down and I’ve replayed it so many times just ask if u want me to get a video I think I gave birth to triplets)

OH OH OH I FIGURED IT OUT!!! HE HAS FUCK ME EYES ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

like cmon look at these and tell me they don’t just scream fuck me:

AND HOW HIS GAZE FLICKS FROM ONE EYE TO THE OTHER 💦💦💦💦💦 SO FCKN THOROUGH 💦💦💦💦💦 SO FCKN CALCULATING💦💦💦💦SEES EVERYTHING💦💦💦💦NOTHING GETS PASSED HIM NOTHING I SAID 💦💦💦📢📢📢

AND THEN THESE PARTICULAR PHOTOS FROM THE EDIT 💦💦💦💦(yes I took a screenshots)💦

💦BRRRRRRRRR COME OVER FR💦💦💦🤪🤪🤪

I’m sorry I hate to say it but I would be such a quivering stammering dumbass fckn mess if he ever even looked in my direction. fck the eye contact if I even felt his eyes in my vicinity I think I would just melt to a puddle right there. Man’s could look me in the face and I’d start a whole ass religion for him gettin on my knees and shit godamn.

like fr he’d look at you and you’d start stammering and shit and losing all train of thought cause his eyes are SO INTIMIDATING and INTENSE and it’s like they just make you go brain dead when they’re on you and he knows that and just laughs whenever you stutter or blush or something😭so he makes an effort to trip you up by looking at you MORE 😫😭

BUT ALSO LIKE HES THE TYPE OF PERSON TO NOTICE YOU GETTING SHY AND THEN CATCH UNDERNEATH YOUR CHIN WITH HIS FINGER AND TILT YOUR HEAD UP TO LOOK AT HIM AND GO “don’t get shy, eyes on me baby 🤨” SHEESSHHH IM BLUSHING 😳😳🤭🤭💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

But holy fuck can I just be controversial for a second. I’m just gonna come out and say it:

I don’t think Anakins eyes are that pretty.

BUT BEFORE YOU SILLY LITTLE TWINKLEFINGERS HOP INTO MY INBOX WITH DEATH THREATS AND HATEMAIL, LEMEE FUCKN FINISH ‼️‼️‼️

I don’t think his eyes are pretty, but I think they’re attractive in a different way. Like a dangerous, angry, sexy way.

Like... not everyone needs to have pretty eyes to be pretty. Anakin has dark, calculating eyes that are really deep and convey his emotions (usually anger and stress but—)

I mean look !

From top to bottom, right to left : angry, horny, psychotic, in-love (and also probably horny). His emotions are so clear in his eyes and thats very sexy of him!

gif 1, gif 2, gif 3, gif 4

I will digress: his eyes can be very pretty in certain lighting like in this gif:

gif from @swprequels

Like sheesh ok so basically I need him in my guts rn but anyways—

Thank you anon bb for reaching out!!!! You’ve sparked something within me and brought up some very good points to the community. I commend you. Here’s a kiss 😘

#let’s talk #oh my god I jizzed all over the place #he’s sexy what can I saayyyyyyy #disgusting freak thoughts #yum yum yum

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

#cat speaks #cat spoils #episode ranking #long post #i'm tired now #i go to bed

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Even the Yelling

Bakugo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, a little angst. 

A/N: This takes place three years after graduation, Bakugou went Pro. NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS, SORRY. 

Summary:  While on patrol, Katsuki runs into you – his ex-girlfriend.

The day was boring – not a single fucking peep, not even from a lowlife criminal. Bakugo grunted as he checked the time on his cellphone, ignoring the text message from dumbass Deku. He was getting irate with the lack of action he was seeing during his shift, so he said screw it and decided to have an early lunch. He walked a few blocks before coming into a ramen shop that was all too familiar. He stood there for a moment, frozen at the front door; it was the restaurant he used to take you to.

“Fuck.” He muttered, not remembering how he even ended up on this street. Staring at his reflection in glass, he noted that his hero costume had changed quite a bit - it felt more refined and less childish now that he was a Pro.  He did away with the flashier items, dialed it down because he decided his power and pure strength would be what was on display. He sensed it within himself, the last couple of months had made him more into a man and he hated to think it had been because you weren’t around. He was forced to grow up, forced to deal with his feelings.

It had been six months since the two of you broke things off, he needed to focus on his Pro Hero career – always pushing himself closer and closer to the number one spot. He had become so consumed with his career that he didn’t notice you slipping away. His self-doubts and esteem had gotten the best of him when he noticed how other people could make you laugh so easily. He hated seeing his friends and you bonding, texting and making plans to hang while he took more shifts at his agency. You had decided not to go Pro, instead settled for a hiring job at a competing agency right after graduating. The two of you had busy lives but it worked out so well, you leased an apartment together.  Living with you had been the greatest year of his life, waking up to you had been Bakugo’s delight – not that he would admit it, at least not then. He knew now, that had been the problem – he couldn’t admit his feelings, any of them.  

“Kacchan?”

His heart dropped at the sound of your voice, for a moment, he thought he had made it up in his head. How pathetic, he thought to himself until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked away from his reflection to see you standing there, wearing jeans and a dark blue winter coat.  

“Lion,” he blurted out, embarrassed that he even uttered the loving nickname out loud. He was relieved that you didn’t seem to mind, just smiled. Six months had gone by - it might not have seemed long or maybe it did, but staring at you, he noticed how different you looked. He hoped you could notice the difference in him too.  

“How are you?”

“I haven’t kicked the damn bucket yet,” he urged in that same explosive tone you had loved since UA.  

You laughed, pretending it didn’t hurt to see him or worse that your heart was pounding so fast. His costume had changed since you had last seen him, it suited him better – he looked like a real Pro Hero. He stood straight; his hair shorter with an under cut. It was easy to admit to yourself that Bakugou was looking good because he always did, even if he wasn’t aware of it, which was hilarious, knowing how modest he could be.  

“That’s good to hear, were you going in to eat?”

You looked at him and tried to not be reminded of how much it hurt when he broke things off – sure it was technically mutual, but it felt far from it. He had been so busy with being a Pro Hero and you had always been supportive, but then it all got flat. Somewhere along the lines, the two of you became roommates, not lovers.  

“Uh, yeah – you hungry? It’s on me,” he said, reaching to open the door. You thanked him, accidently brushing up against him as you walked into the shop – his body took up a lot of room and it felt electric when you touched him. He looked slightly red, ushering you in with a slew of curses under his breath. You ignored them with a smile because it was nice to know he hadn’t changed entirely.  

He muttered something about getting a seat, but he didn’t need to, you knew which table to get – the back corner one. It was the one the two of you took up every week, sometimes together, sometimes Kirishima and Mina would join.  

The two of you sat down and ordered lunch, trying to edge around the notion that you were with each other again – after six long months. Bakugo leaned back into his chair, trying to seem relaxed but you saw the anxiousness in his eyes. He stared intently as you drew off your coat and sighed deeply.

“You fixin’ to leave? I’m not holding you back, you know.”

“I know,” you snapped. Your ex’s eyes widen in delight and he laughed, a gruff, loud laugh that drew attention from the other patrons.  

“There’s my Lion,” he laughed again. “I’ve missed your dumbass getting all pissed off. Remember when you challenged Kirishima to a fucking duel?”

Rolling your eyes, you asked how things were. “I heard your number one at the agency, congratulations.”

“It means shit,” Bakugo grunted, pausing as your food was brought to the table. Neither of you said a word, just thanked the waitress before she walked away, and then it was radio silence. The ramen was hot, steam circling up to your nose as you felt his eyes on you. He was undressing you like he used to, carefully watching for turns in your mood, ready to fight at a drop of a hat.  

“I’m not trying to fight with you, Katsuki.”

“I ain’t tryin’ to fight either, it’s fucking pointless. This whole thing is pointless – what the hell were you doing so far from your part of the city?”

You looked at him with great disbelief and laughed. “You’re fixin’ for a fight, dumbass.”

He didn’t catch the bait, instead he sighed and scratched the back of his head. “No, I'm not,” he whispered, voice low and sincere. “I didn’t expect to see you today, it’s been a while, huh?”

Admittedly, you were a bit shocked – this whole set up screamed fighting, that’s how it was the last month of your relationship.  The two of you would pick fights with the other, ending the night with Bakugo on the couch or crashing with Kirishima – it was childish, and you saw now, that the two of you were past that.  

“I’ve been busy with work, I’m looking to move agencies,” you said.

“Going Pro now?”

“Hell no,” you laughed, leaning forward to eat. “Although Fatgum has been begging me to join his agency, he wants me to be a trainer.”

Bakugo nodded and pointed his chopsticks at you. “You’re wasting your quirk by pushin’ paper behind some shitty desk. You should take up his offer, you’re a good trainer.”

He was speaking from experience; back at UA and after graduation, you spent hours training with him. Your quirk allowed for you to momentary blind your opponent, it was a useful quirk, but you realized earlier on at UA that your passion was leaning towards training than leading. Bakugo loved when you used your quirk on him, he felt like it enhanced his senses and quirk.  That’s how your relationship started, he had demanded that you to trained with him and no sooner than later, the two of you had become decent friends. Then somewhere along the lines, he had confessed to you during a session – he was pissed off that you weren’t pushing yourself with your quirk.

“You’re gonna be a great hero! Don’t be a dumbass! FIGHT ME!”

“I’m not like you, Katsuki! I don’t have the fire inside me,” you yelled back, lifting the blindness from his sight. He dropped down from the air and landed with a large bang; his eyes were glowing with fury as he walked towards you. You stumbled back and threw an upward hand gesture to him, making him blind again.  

“I don’t need my sight! I CAN SEE PERFECTLY! You’re meant to be a damn hero!”

You knew he meant well, but you just didn’t have it in you. “I don’t want to be a hero; I want to help people become the heroes.”

Bakugo stopped in his tracks as you lifted your quirk. He didn’t look upset, just a little disappointment. Your heart raced as he stood silent, eyes fixated on you. Then he spoke and it wasn’t what you had expected.  

“I know I can’t make you be a hero if you don’t want to,” he said quietly, the undertone of his voice retrained and hoarse. “Yeah, it’s gonna piss me off that your wasting your quirk but I’ll respect your wishes. Just know I believe in you; I know my Lion can do it!”

“Your - your lion?”

He squinted and crossed his arms against his chest. “Are you deaf! I know you heard me!”

That was the closest to a confession Katsuki had ever given anyone, and after the session, the two of you had become a couple.

A couple of idiots, you realized as you looked across the table to an older version of the boy from that fighting session. The two of you were kids then, maybe still are – sometimes you felt older than you were and then there were other times that you longed for the days at UA.  

“Training would be far more interesting than recruiting...”

Bakugo grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. I guess you’ll be seeing Shitty Hair more often, huh.”

“Always an asshole, huh?” you teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes fell onto yours as you smiled and continued to eat – then a sinking feeling washed over him. It was a chance meeting – how many times had he run into in the last six months? None. Now today, here you were across from him, looking beautiful as ever and it pissed me off knowing you were existing without him. That was selfish – he didn’t mean that, all his feelings were jumbled up.  

He just missed you, he hadn’t realized it until he saw you. Yeah, his days were long, and he spent too much time at the agency. He still wanted to be the world’s number one hero but when the days were over, he came home to an empty feeling.  He even still had the photo from his birthday last year up in the living room.

You had thrown him a surprise 21st party and the old gang from UA were there. It was more fun than he cared to admit, but he was annoyed that Sero had gotten a photo of you and him cuddling on the couch after several drinks. He had gotten damn tipsy – his first time in fact and if he thought about it too hard, he could still feel the hangover from the next morning.  

“I’m different now.”

Katsuki’s voiced boomed in your ears so unexpectedly your chin was covered in ramen broth; he laughed and without thinking, reached over to clean your chin with his napkin. Frozen, you could only watch and feel the weight of the napkin on your skin until he pulled away and tossed the cloth on the table.  

“Anyway, I’m different – you should know that. I’ve - I’ve been tryin’ and it’s been a real pain in the ass!”

Your face relaxed and all you could do was smile at him – he looked and sounded sincere, and you knew it took a lot of strength for Bakugo to even talk about his feelings. So, you had to give him that.  

“I hope you didn’t change too much,” you teased, reaching your hand across the table to his but unsureness had you pulling away. He noticed right away, reaching to death grip your hand. His hand warmer than most. It was comforting as it always had been, and you felt guilt in that moment for not fighting for your relationship. Then again, the Bakugo sitting across from you was more mature than the one you said goodbye too six months ago.  

He held your hand tightly and leaned forward, his red eyes softening. “I-I know I’m an asshole and my hero career is important to me but – but I can’t let you go again.  I’ll be more present....”

Relief – that's what you felt after hearing those words from the man you loved since the two of you were teenagers. Yes, he was difficult at times, but no one knew him like you did. No one saw the person he was behind closed doors – he laughed a lot and was the biggest home body you knew. He was thoughtful and sometimes silly. There were days when he came home from the agency pissed the hell off, cursing and unable to settle down but that was his passion, and you were more than happy to him rant about his day.  It was when he stopped talking that things changed, he stopped coming to you with his problems and most importantly, his laughs.  

“I never wanted anything but to be your person, Katsuki,” you said giving his hand a squeeze. He relaxed under your touch, the two of you forgetting about the hot ramen in front of you.  “I can’t do this again if you stop talking to me, so, please, don’t stop talking.”

He grinned widely, squinting his eyes mischievously.  “Even my yellin’?”

You laughed then and rolled your eyes, god, he was such an asshole. “Yeah, dumbass, especially the yelling.”

#bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #katsuki bakugo imagine #mha hawks #my hero academy fanfiction

[1990jeevas]

Wanna infodunp bout sumthin? Plz do (respind whenever you wanna dont even worrg bout time here)

this has been sitting in my ask box for like a week now and im so sorry about that but also the last time i posted an info dump (which, for me, means bitching my ever loving heart out about the subject, because i genuinely find it incredibly difficult to speak fondly of things i enjoy without just going "yeah i think its neat!" essentially and then forgetting all the reasons why i like it) somebody came into my replies to break the dni i made in that post, invalidate my trauma and then say i was gaslighting them for stating my own opinion so um. yeah ive been a bit hesitant to say the least, considering hot takes are basically how i show my love for things :)

but, i have now decided to just post my least inflammatory take on one of my hyperfixations in response to this and then just. leave bc i dont wanna get into drama over my dumb little opinions again.

anyways, quick dni: dont even fucking touch this post if you're going to be aggressive with me, you don't use tone tags when making corrections or criticisms or you wanna just trash my opinion. ultimately people can do whatever they want, im just expressing my own annoyances as someone who has been in the IT fandom for awhile and has some complaints as a result (as im sure most other fans do lol)

moving on...rant time:

stan uris and richie tozier are canonically best friends in IT and the erasure of their friendship in favor of appealing to reddie fans is fucking gross and weird, especially bc stan is then chalked up to just some mean jewish kid who likes birds and is annoyed by richie 25/8 instead of having an actual fucking personality in every reddie fic just bc fans want so badly to make reddie best friends to lovers and its just?? yall can make reddie best friends to lovers WITHOUT erasing stan's canonical personality. yall can make them best friends to lovers while still acknowledging that stan and richie are canonically best friends and that stan canonically was an incredibly important person to richie.

this also goes for bill and eddie btw!! its just significantly worse with stan which reads Very Wrong when you take into consideration that fic writers always write bill denbrough as a sweet little white boy who everyone's at least a little bit in love with but then write stan as this rude jewish boy who's always mean and critical of richie for just being himself (and a lot of those "annoying" traits i see people make stan give richie shit about are adhd traits, which also rubs me wrong?? like why are so many NT fic writers so comfortable with calling my ND traits annoying) which isnt even canon?? like. canonically they poke fun at each other, they call each other names and say stupid shit but not to the extent of actually hurting each other because they are best friends and they know each other to the point where they know what boundaries the other has, they arent just making passive aggressive comments at the other and then going "it's a joke bro!" when/if the other gets upset.

also?? the trend of making "fix it" fics for IT chapter 2 where eddie is revived/doesn't die but stan does and is then only brought up in passing? not fucking cute. dont call it a "fix it fic" if the only "fix it" is you reviving a character for your fucking ship, especially when the other dead character is the BEST FRIEND of 1/2 of the ship? like. what. do yall just think richie getting married would somehow fix the fact that he lost the person that he was closest to? because, news flash, the person he was closest to was not eddie. they were very close friends, richie fucking loved the dude /p and /r, but stan was canonically his best friend and was canonically the person richie was closest to like?? what is not clicking omgggg

stanley uris is an incredibly fucking important character in IT and he is especially fucking important to richie goddamn tozier. you dont just get to ignore richie's best friend and write him into this mean jewish man box because his actual personality doesnt serve your ship like for the love of fucking god stan does not need to be there to create angst for your fics, he doesnt need to be there to make your hurt/comfort piece where you make stan borderline abelist just so richie can run and cry into eddie's scrawny little arms like im begging you to just write something where the hurt/comfort doesnt come from stan being a douchebag because canonically he was not one. he was a good fucking friend, he fucking loved richie and they got each others weird asses like nobody else did.

like. idk. ultimately yall can do what you want with ur fics i guess but also it's just fucking weird if you ask me?? and maybe that's just because im a dumbass richie kinnie who absolutely adores stan, but as somebody who loves reddie and reads reddie fics regularly, it is so goddamn annoying to only see my other favorite character written in to be mean, create angst or just be fucking dead time and time again when eddie is revived and then not even written accurately half the time bc he's not a fucking fragile dude who needs help all the time either, he's a shouty little cunt who know's he can be fucking dangerous if he wants to be and he doesn't hesitate to dish out some nasty ass comments if given the chance. just please for the love of god stop writing these characters ooc its killing me fr-

(btw i know most of this shit is just done by accident and its mostly done by movie stans who havent read the book, it's just still annoying to me, ya know? and this whole post is /nm, i just talk like this bc it's what comes naturally to me!! this is how i complain about literally everything, regardless of how big the issue is so dont take this too seriously pls)

#shit self #asks #IT #reddie critical #anti reddie #its not btw im just trying to keep away angry replies #richie tozier #stanley uris #discourse #long post #kinz #fandom critical #bangerz #info dump

[kayteewritessteve]

Beautifully Unfinished - 7/8

Description: One foolish outburst, one moment of weakness at the worst possible time, and everything goes up in smoke. Who knew finally voicing your true, deep-rooted feelings, would lead to the complete destruction of your most cherished friendship?

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 3,130 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG.

Warnings: Curse words. Lots of angst. But if you’ve read my stories before, then you know how this will end.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

The Beginning of The End.

You pace the length of your living room, hands clenched in your hair. Your best friend—the love of your life—gets married in 7 days. 7 fucking days. And you are absolutely beside yourself right now. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, fuck, you can barely even think. Everything in you is begging you to do something. Anything.

But you can’t. You can’t allow your foolish heart to say a damn thing. Who are you to dump all of this shit on an unsuspecting person? Who are you, that you can put your own feelings before others. Before your very best friend.

He’s in love. He’s getting fucking married, and next Sunday at that.

If you truly loved him, you’d stay the hell out of it. You’d stay the hell away from him till D day. Till the day there is no going back, and no chance for you to selfishly ruin everything.

So that’s what you’re currently doing, you’re avoiding him at all costs. You haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks, much to your chagrin. And not without his effort.

He’s tried to contact you. He’s tried to call, to text. He even hounded Bucky about it, but you only know that because Bucky sent you a long text telling you to pull your head out of your ass, and stop ignoring him and Steve. He also reminded you that you are a GroomsWoman and you have duties to attend to. He may have also threatened to show up at your place, if you didn’t text him back within the hour.

So you caved. You texted him back, giving him a bullshit story about how busy you were with work right now. He clearly knew you were full of shit, but he left it alone. You’ve always assumed, and gotten the impression, that Bucky knew of your true feelings for Steve. Or he at least figured out there were more feelings there for you than just friendship. So you’d guess that he knew you were having a very hard time with this all.

You were struggling to come to terms with Steve’s impending union. Fuck, was that ever an understatement.

And in classic Bucky form, he seemed to understand without saying a thing, and then he offered to forward your message on to Steve. He promised to get him off your back for ‘work related’ reasons. And yes, he actually put it in quotes like that in his text.

So yeah, he totally knew. He probably always had, he was smart like that. He could read people better than anyone you knew. It was a little creepy actually, he was like some weird european spy, or something, you swear.

Yeah, you felt pretty guilty for not only skipping out on your GroomsWoman duties, but also for last minute cancelling on Steve’s Bachelor party. Because fuck that. That would not have ended well. Your intense heartache and feelings, mixed with alcohol and then stuck in a room with the object of your desires. Yeah, no, that had a ‘fucking mess’ written all over it. Entirely.

So you’d chickened out and texted Bucky, once again with a shit ass excuse about not feeling well. And again, you knew he saw right through it. But he covered for your ass like he always did.

You yank on your hair before dropping your arms, only to then not know what to do with them—or yourself, but one thing at a time here—so you awkwardly crossed them and halted your steps in front of your living room window. Staring out at the summer rain pelting down on everything outside; cars, people, the sidewalk.

What are you doing? Why are you like this? Why can’t you just get over these ridiculous feelings already? This is insanity, it’s the very definition of the damn word.

You take a deep breath, hoping it will help quiet the screams of your heart. With every passing day that’s brought you closer to his wedding day, your heart has gotten louder and louder. And your head? Well it’s not much better, it’s been trying to rationalize the pros of just telling him. Of just letting it all out finally. It’s been trying to tell you it would be worth it, it’s been attempting to give you this false hope that he would feel the same way. That if you just told him, he’d realize he feels the same and end this engagement to be with you.

But you aren’t a dumbass—at least not always—you know the likelihood of him feeling the same is a million to one. So basically so slim that there is no chance at all.

...But there is still that one shot! There is still that teeny tiny little chance!

Ugh! See! This is what it’s been like for weeks! This is the constant battle that has been raging inside you for months. Who are we kidding, it’s been like this for years. But it’s been made worse by the realization that you are running out of time. By the fact that the window of opportunity is slowly diminishing and will soon enough be shut forever.

Or at least until they get divorced! NO! You can’t think like that. They aren’t even fucking married yet, and already you are hoping for the end of their union. How sick are you? How fucking selfish? He’s your best friend. Be happy for him. Be thankful that he found his person.

Even if that person isn’t you.

Ugh! And now your hands are clenching the roots of your hair once again. This is agony. Maybe you can goto the hospital and ask them to put you under. Beg them to induce a coma, so you can finally just breathe and your head can shut off for a few days—

The slam of a door causes you to jump and whip around at the noise, only to feel all your blood attempt to leave your body at the cause of the sound. The very thing you are stressing out about right now.

Steve. He is standing not even 15 feet away from you currently, and he looks pissed as hell. Fuck fuck fuck. You are avoiding him for a reason! You can’t be around him right now, you are too weak, you will say something dumb. Or God forbid you will just word vomit all over him, you will just dump everything you’ve held in for years in one fell swoop.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Here, overthinking everything and having a mental breakdown. But you don’t say that, obviously, and instead go with, “What are you doing here, Steve?”

“Making sure you’re still fucking alive,” he glares at you. And ooh fuck, yup, yeah, he’s pissed alright. You’re fucking in for it now. “Since you can’t seem to reply to any of my messages, or answer your damn phone.”

He pulls his phone from his pocket, and then his eyes leave yours as he glances down at it’s screen, tapping away at it. A few seconds later, you hear the familiar chirp of your text notification tone and your eyes widen at the realization. You quickly go to grab your phone, hoping you can just avoid this whole thing. Hoping that by hiding it, it will defuse the ticking bomb that is currently your best friend.

He glances up and around for a second, his eyes then land on the traitorous electronic just as you pick it up and go to cram it in your pocket, but at the last second you flick the switch to put it in silent mode, then chuck it at the couch. His eyes follow the motion then snap back to yours, and you can’t miss just how heated they are now. Even more than they were before. “Steve, just let me—“

“I’m glad to see it still works perfectly fine,” he seethes, cutting you off and taking a few slow steps to fully enter the living room. Which causes your heart rate to pick up, tenfold. But not because your scared of him, fuck no, you’d never be scared of Steve. He gets mad sometimes, but never aggressive. The worst he gets is like a pissed off parent. So no, your heart wasn’t racing because of that, it was racing because he is so damn close now. Closer than he’s been in weeks, and he’s still like 10 feet from you. Gosh, you missed him so much—God, you are so damn pathetic!

“And that it’s on fucking loud,” he adds, halting his steps and narrowing his eyes at you. “So you have been ignoring me, huh?”

“It’s not like that—“

“Oh don’t give me that bullshit excuse, Y/N,” he cuts you off once again. And for a guy that wants answers, he sure as hell isn’t giving you the chance to actually give him any. “It’s me,” he gestures to himself, “Steve. Ya know, your best friend? The person who knows you better than anyone else. So tell me the damn truth, Y/N, why have you been ignoring me?”

I CAN’T! Don’t you fucking get that!? Instead of screaming that, you take a deep breath, and try to think of more rational words. “I haven’t been ignoring you, Steve,” you pause and scrunch up your nose. “At least not really. Not because of anything you’ve done. I’ve just been so busy lately, didn’t Bucky fill you in on this?”

“Really?” He says dryly, “you’re just going to stick with that horrendously fake excuse?”

“It’s not a damn excuse! I just needed some fucking space!” You snap, then quickly clench your mouth shut and drop your eyes to the floor, before exhaling deeply. The realization that he is clearly trying to get a rise out of you, hitting you instantly. He knows that if you’re pissed off, you’ll most likely slip up and tell him the truth. The fucker. He knows you too well.

“Some space?” He asks quietly, and you hear him take a few hesitant steps forward. “From who?”

You keep your mouth shut, and clench your eyes closed as well. If you open your mouth now, you’ll say something you’ll regret.

His breath hitches, “Fr-from me?”

The sheer pain and confusion in his voice makes your eyes start to sting, so you unclench them and blink rapidly a few times, in the hopes to stop the tears before they start. “From everyone,” you choke out.

“That’s not true though, is it? You’ve been replying to Bucky’s messages, so it is just space from me,” he takes a deep breath, “why? Why do you need space from me?”

“It’s not important,” you shake your head, tucking a few wayward strands behind your ear, “It’s stupid, and it won’t matter soon enough.”

“Of course it’s fucking important, Y/N. My best friend is upset at me for something, and that matters a hell of a lot to me,” he says adamantly. “So just tell me what’s wrong, Doll. Please?”

“I can’t, Steve. I really can’t, please just trust me here,” you sigh rubbing a hand on your forehead, while continuing to keep your eyes locked on the floor in front of you.

“And why can’t you?”

You keep your mouth shut, having no idea what to even say. But then you hear his light steps, just before his shoes come into your view.

“Doll, please look at me,” he pleads. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix this. I can’t deal with you mad at me, especially when I have no idea why.”

“There is nothing to fix, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on me, I’ll work myself through it and everything will go back to normal. I promise.”

“Damnit, Y/N! Would you just look at me already!”

You snap your eyes up to meet his, “there! Happy now?”

“No, as a matter of fact I’m fucking not!” He glares at you again. “Why are you being like this? What the hell happened? Just fucking tell me already!”

“You! You fucking happened, Steven!” You snap, glaring right back at him. The wall has finally crumbled, you can’t hold it in anymore, it’s all going to come out whether you like it or not. “You and your stupid perfection! And your dumb face! And—and this ridiculous fucking torch I’ve been carrying for you since grade fucking 7! I’m in love with you Steve, I always have been and the fact that you are marrying someone else is fucking killing me! I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely fucking breathe! My heart feels like it’s being crushed and—ARGH!” You yell the last part as your hands move to your head again, grabbing ahold of your roots and giving a few tugs as you spin around. You can’t face him right now. “So there it is, Steve! The whole fucking truth about why I’ve been avoiding you lately. That’s what you wanted to know so damn badly, isn’t it? How does knowing the real reason make you feel? Did my honesty ease your mind? Did it fucking fix things?”

“Y/N,” he says quietly, breathlessly, and you can here the shock in his voice. “I—I don’t,” he trails off.

Which causes you to groan loudly, shaking your head, “just forget it, Steve. Can you please just leave? I want to be alone. I need to be al—“

Your cut off by the motion of your body being spun around forcefully, yet gently. You spin so fast that you almost topple over, but two hands on either side of your face keep you upright. And then, out of fucking nowhere, Steve’s lips crash into yours.

To say that caught you off guard, would be an understatement. You must be fucking dead! Yup, you’ve died, clearly. Because there is no way in hell that Steve is kissing you right now! There just isn’t!

But yet, his lips feel so real. Too real. And just like that, you lose all train of thought, and you kiss him back with everything you have. Your arms slip around his waist, and one of his hands leaves your check to travel down and wrap around you. He pulls you closer and you comply, melting into him and deepening the kiss. His fingers dig into your hip, his forearm warming your lower back, and causing tingles to run up your spin.

But just as abruptly as it started, it stops. And not just that, Steve damn near jumps away from you as if you’re on fire. He takes a few large steps back, creating a vast space between you both.

“Shit,” he whispers under his breath, as he looks away from you. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He shakes his head and then his eyes widen, “Holy fuck, I’m getting married in a week. Literally getting married to Hailey in a fucking week.”

His eyes snap to yours, and the emotions in them make your heart clench even more. What have you done? “Look, Steve, let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? Let’s just act like this whole fucking night never fucking happened—“

“How can you expect me to just pretend like this never happened, Y/N? You just told me you’re in love with me! And we just fucking kissed, God d-damnit!” He stammers and starts to pace the width of your living room. He takes a deep breath, “Like what the hell, Y/N? You’ve had years to say all of this, and you pick right fucking now? A week before my damn wedding, to finally voice your feelings for me? Are you kidding me right now?”

Your nose flares at what he’s saying, because the fucking nerve on this asshole! “Are you kidding me right now?! Don’t pin this shit on me, Steven, I told you I couldn’t tell you! And you just kept fucking pushing! I tried to avoid you so that I wouldn’t say any of this to you, and what did you do? You showed up at my damn door demanding answers! I fucking tried so damn hard to keep it to myself. I did everything I could, to not ruin this friendship, or your big day with my stupid fucking feelings. You think I want to be in love with my best friend, who is getting married to someone else in a week?!” You scoff, crossing your arms, “Of course I fucking don’t. Give your damn head a shake.”

“I didn’t,” he snaps his mouth shut and shakes his head, before mumbling, “I can’t do this right now, Y/N, not yet, not like this. I ah, I’m sorry, I have to go.”

You want more than anything to stop him, to beg him to stay and to pick you, but what little dignity you have left won’t let you. You refuse to put yourself out there anymore. He wants to leave, than good fucking riddance! Don’t let the door hit you on the fucking way out!

“Yeah, I think that’s best,” you agree bitterly, seeing him purse his lips before nodding once then turning on his heel. A moment later you hear your door slam shut and at that very moment you collapse to the floor.

Everything you’ve felt over the last few weeks, months, years, all ripping out of you at once. And then on top of that, everything that happened tonight only adds more emotions to the mix. You’ve never cried this hard in your life, you can’t even bring yourself to stand up and go to your bed.

Shit, you can’t even manage the strength to get up onto your couch, which is only 3 feet away. So instead you curl up into a ball on your living room floor, and proceed to cry every last tear you have left.

You stay in this spot for a couple hours before you finally pick yourself up and drag yourself over to the window. Hoping and praying that the pain will go away soon, or will at least numb out enough to allow you to breathe normally.

But you know that won’t happen for a long time. This pain will stick with you for a while, and nothing you do or say will make it disappear. Nothing will make it go away, it’s taken root deep within you and you’ll carry it through life, along with you. Because Steve isn’t just some random guy, this isn’t just some silly crush. He’s your best friend, he’s the love of your life, and you hate him for it, but yet, you don’t.

Because I hate you, but I love you, and I wish you'd go away.

But I hate you, and I love you, and I wish that you would stay.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@caps-lockdown @boxofteenageideas @giggleberts @strawberry-gothchild @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @steeeeverogers @zombiepotterfour @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @alagalaska @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @interstellarmess @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @viarogers @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @badassbeckettswan @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @givemehopenfandoms @pretendingandpreposterous @frozen-phoenix17 @emotionallysalty @saturngirlz @atomicsludgedonutbiscuit @bohemian-barbie @marvelous-capsicle @ivoryhazlewood @cjhorseback @jessiedaeum @capricornprince118 @pinkleopardss @drayshadow @wiserebelpartypie @dark-night-sky-99 @patzammit @cs-please @troublermalik @anika-ann @wxstedhexrt @rynabarnesrogers

#au fanfiction #fanfiction #long post #long read #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #modern!steve rogers x reader #modern!steve rogers #modern!steve #modern au #Beautifully Unfinished #Part 7 #steve rogers au

[charmspoint]

fr tho hmmm, ok since ur bingeing alot of anime lately, top 5 anime youve watched recently (u can include ongoing stuff if u want ily)

For this ask meme

I havent binged that much anime recently ;;; Just a few, a lil few.

Long list with pictures ahead, this is not list by quality but by joy factor

5. Jujutsu Kaisen

It’s weird that the anime I’ve been talking about the most is so low on the list but that’s mainly because I’m mostly hyperfocused on the manga rn. The arc the anime is in rn is where I got really invested when I was reading the manga and it only got better since then, would probs rank very high in my fav manga list rn. I’m feral for the next season and I would like to know when it’s coming out hehe~

4. My Next Life as a Villainess 

Catarina vs my exam slump, who will win? The answer may surprise you.

This show brought so much happiness in my life when I needed it the most, I just enjoyed it a whole lot and on a few occasions it even made me laugh at loud. Catarina is a fucking dumbass but in a way that makes her lovable instead of frustrating...or at least lovably frustrating lmao! And I’ve already said my peace on the rest of the cast. The only way it could be better is if it went gay all the way 

3. Skate the infinity 

Can you imagine that I almost didn’t watch this anime? The only reason I started it because I looked at the op cuz ‘skating anime is bound to have some good tunes’ (it has), but truth to be told from the amount of it I see on my dash I would have probably got into it anime. I love these characters (except Adam but Adam falls straight into the sort of villain trope I dislike the most so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) But honestly has some of the best and most lovable characters these season and Reki’s arc is goddamn heartbreaking to watch. This is the kind of show with a beating heart you know, I love it.

2. Dr Stone

Funny how I watched this after you complained endlessly about it and then ended up enjoying it so much. I’m not much of a science buff and there are times I just zone out when Senku is explaining shit but as I’ve said countless times before it’s the characters that make or break the show for me and I love every single one. I just like how full of passion it is and how obvious it is that this is the author just nerding out. Senku is very interesting protagonist because he wasn’t supposed to be the protagonist at all and it’s great how passionate he can be while completely avoiding the passionate shonen youth trope. Also I ranted to you constantly about how nice is to see a character with who has such a prominent way of showing love exclusively by his actions. Also the emotional moments hit so hard despite it being a nerd out show. Also just Gen, as a concept. This show feels like someone is constantly ranting to you about the thing they are passionate about and as someone who loves to listen to ppl rant about things they love, it’s just great. Also I get to share in with something you really like and that always makes it better <3

1. Talentless Nana

Didn’t we calculate that I finished the entire anime and then the manga start to finish in two days flat?

Yeah I think that says it all.

Nana turned out to be such a niche show and it really deserves more. I’ve seen people compare it to Death Note but it’s really not like Death Note when you get past the cat and mouse game that isn’t even it’s core more like a bait to lure you in to the real thing. Like this isn’t a show that is going to vow you with it’s mindgames but I do like it better than Death Note just because it has infinently more interesting and lovable characters and Nana could kick Lights ass any day. Nana has bits of BNHA in it and bits of Death Note in it but what it’s really about for me is abuse and how it can break and remold a person and how hard it’s to get out of it and start acting against what you’ve been conditioned to believe is the right thing, no matter how much you want to do better. That message is more thoroughly explored in the manga though and since it ended up so niche I doubt we’ll be getting second season ;-; But damn don’t I love Nana’s arc. She makes for an amazing protagonist that you just love despite everything she does and then you start to understand her better and how she ended up like this and you just really want to root for her to figure out what happened. And when she does it’s not an instant switch, she doesn’t immediately go ‘oh ok i know what teh good is now ill do that’. It’s a struggle to go against what she’s been taught to believe, it’s a struggle to turn her back on the only safe person she knows in her life (who is very very abusive but abusers can still be safe places that’s why abuse is so hard to leave) and try to join in with people who are very likely to refuse her just because she knows that’s the right thing to do. Watching Nana go from mindless drone to a girl struggling to leave an abusive situation and make up for all the wrongs she did is just amazing. One day I wanna go through the manga and detailly document Nana’s journey. I hope she finds stability soon my girl ;-; 

This has turned into a Talentless Nana rant but I just love how seriously the story takes the topic of abuse, how much it can impact you, your actions and your view of the world and how hard it is to leave. How much easier it would be for Nana to just stay where she is and ignore everything despite knowing leaving would be the best choice. Recently the manga updated with a chapter on Moe and it showed so well how much abuse can impact and persist even when a child is in a safe situation and ;-; MOE I’M SORRY I SAID I DONT LIKE YOU AAAA. 

Anyway if anyone aside from Peter made it to the end of the list uhhh read Talentless Nana, it’s really good and I would like more please

#megacarapa #ask meme #lucy rants #nobody: #me: TALENTLESS NANA IS SO FUCKIN GOOD

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 14 - WangXian are a (v soft) Battle Couple & Foxglove is hella mad

Hi! Welcome to episode 14. I should be studying. It’s day two of morning runs, so my soul has left my body already, send help. Yesterday I went to buy plants with my mum and got so excited I just whacked on a bunch of eyeshadow because I haven’t seen the outside in weeks, I’m also wearing makeup today, because I have nowhere to go, but I really need to finish this bb cream before it goes bad, so my parents are getting my full fresh faced “woke up like this and put on mascara” routine (which is a fucking lie because I’m wearing at least three blushes and two highlighters). I’m determined to get this bitch down in under five minutes so I can have another five to do eyeshadow, I have way too much eyeshadow to not wear it (I have way too much everything except maybe mascara and eyebrow stuff).

Yes, if y’all were wondering I am in fact a makeup magpie. ANYWAY BACK TO THE ACTUAL THING WE ALL CAME HERE FOR.

(Btw further down I discuss once again how shitty I think the Yunmeng sibs’ parents are if that causes an issue for you)

Ok ok ok, so I was talking with damnpoe-2187 here about how we found that sometimes WWX crossed from gremlin into asshole when he tried to get LWJ riled up. Like in the Cold Springs, putting our shippers hearts aside, that was a dick move and he should have stopped undressing the second LWJ went from annoyed to incredibly uncomfortable. I find this scene the complete opposite, a show of character development if you will. It is kind of similar in that they’re both hurt, and alone (although this time is much more serious) and there was some undressing going on; however WWX here behaves like a fool in love considerate person and knowing how uncomfortable LWJ already is tries to make it easier for him. They’re also super soft and I’m weak.

A brief interlude from my one track mind: That pond is full of corpses isn’t it? Or at least the remnants of the Murder Turtle’s meals I suppose. Damn right WWX should not have gone into the water with an open wound, but think no one should go swimming in there without a full hazmat suit tbh (I want to pump them full of antibiotics at this point ngl)

So I love this tiny montage (is it even a montage) of the, getting themselves ready to kill the Murder Turtle.

Teamwooooooork.

Listen, I have read a few fics in which their mind-meld stays in place due to reasons and I need me more of those.

Ok, turtles don’t work that way, but then again, giant murder snake-Trex-turtle so that’s low on my list of priorities. What’s not low is the fact that this guy is knee deep into pretty much a mass grave and I want to take a few showers just watching him.

Yeah, I know exactly what he’s smelling and suddenly I hope I don’t have meat for lunch today tbh.

The screaming sword has always been fucking creepy and does LWJ’s fist clench mean that he’s also hearing them?

BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE!

So I know killing the thing took them something like six hours. And while it feels quite a long time in the show, I think that, if they cut the scene with idk, JC running towards Lotus Pier, then back to them, then back to JC, but now the sun is in a different position, back to them, but now the blood from LWJ’s hand has dripped down his arm; and so on a so forth it’d convey more clearly how long it took for the Murder Turtle to die. I know fuck all about cinematography tho so feel free to ignore all this if it is in fact an abomination.

Tiiiiiiny interlude here to say that Yiling Patriarch!WWX is probably one of my favourite character archetypes. He’s slightly creepy, slightly amoral (smiling while torturing and murdering bad guys is still amoral ok), more than a bit on the Dark Side, cocky, smirky, a bit of an asshole a BAMF, a rebel with cause and yet he will still do the right thing, not despite his nature, but because of it. He’s kind of like a Chipped Spike? But you know, he doesn’t need electroshock to behave.

I just want a fic where he’s this Dark Lord of Evil in everyone’s eyes however the ‘good guys’ take a break from trying to off him because a bigger threat just popped up and they have no choice but to ask for his help. He agrees, keeps being his charming self while also saving everyone’s asses, LWJ is smitten.

TL;DR: The Necromancer is hot. Oh and nobody dare deny LWJ has a Yiling Patriarch kink.

Oh my, this is the part when I always get teary eyed.

WUJI ON A CELLO? DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

“Why hasn’t Jiang Cheng shown up and rescued me yet?” THIS IS ALL THE PROOF I NEED THAT WWX IS THE BABY SIBLING.

“Lan Zhan sing me a song”

IT IS HAPPENING, STAY FUCKING CALM EVERYBODY (I’m crying)

That slideshow of their best moments set to WuJi is a masterpiece, and also, it kind of drives home the point of “how tf did we go from flirting during summer camp to this mess”?

(Btw if that’s YiBo humming he’s got one hell of a deep voice)

Ok ok ok, so this moment had me spitting up my tea the first time I watched it. Believe it or not my dumbass thought these people were actually serious with the censorship and we’d get scraps of their actual relationship. Lots of charged moments like in some other western tv shows I’ve seen when two dudes have chemistry but “they’re not gay”, no longing glances, no tender touches, no being unbelievably soft with each other; just you know, amped up, because if I’m not mistaken you can be arrested in China for “promoting the gay”. I mean, they changed the beginning when people insult MXY’s sexuality to insulting his mental health; no one would think “ah yes, the gays are good” when they hear it used as a slur, but they still erased it completely. One of the things I thought they’d fully take away was WangXian, I mean, the into/outro is named Wuji, which, you know, still a mishmash of their names, but not their ship name. It is such a significant part of the story with all the “what’s the song name? Figure it out yourself” that if something were going to give away that they’re married with a kid it would be that. I thought we’d get an artful fade to black BEFORE LWJ would say the name not after. And also, YiBo is enunciating it so clearly that, even with the sound muffled and the blurriness I, who don’t speak Chinese, can make out the two syllables. That’s deliberate, I can say “WangXian” loud and clear without moving my lips too much. At this point in time I must assume someone in charge of looking for censorship violations in the show is a fan and just ignored it.

Censorship person 1: dude, isn’t that a bit too gay, maybe you shouldn’t greenlight it.

Censorship person 2: shut the fuck up, sit here and watch.

*a full rundown of the whole of CQL later*

Censorship person 1: oh my god they’re so in love and they deserve to be happy.

Back to the commentary: I’m sorry but I have a mighty need of a WWX & Peacock friendship ok? This might be me just wanting WWX and LWJ to make other friends besides each other but I think that the Peacock is just bitchy enough to not take any of WWX’s bullshit.

And the Yunmeng bros timing for banter strikes yet again.

That’s terrible quality fake blood btw.

@ Yunmeng disciples: STOP SHOOTING FUCKING KITES PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Oooof even with a change of clothes our boy is still looking rough as hell.

MY LOVELY YUNMENG SIBS BEING SOFT AND HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER.

It hurts my soul that the second JFM starts praising WWX for surviving the Murder Turtle our boy’s knee-jerk reaction is to start praising JC in return. It is instinctive, how many times must this have happened for him to know his brother won’t even get scraps of praise? (Seriously fuck their parents)

It was going so well, I mean, JFM had a point warning him to not say things in anger. But I thought he was going to tell him that it is because sometimes he’ll hurt someone without wanting to, yet, this asshole decided to, once again, remind his kid he thinks he’s a failure.

And here comes Mme Yu who I can only assume had a servant posted at the door to warn her when WWX woke so she could throw some verbal abuse at him. I mean, she must have been missing it.

And JFM’s misogynistic bullshit strikes once again, because why defend ALL your kids when you can insult your wife.

(Every time someone berates WWX for “intervening” I want to scream. I mean, seeing this I can believe why the society as a whole thought genocide was a good idea.)

I love how they use their kids as props in their fight, I mean it’s not like they have feelings or anything. This woman is gaslight-y as hell too “you don’t love your kid because I gave birth to him”, you can’t tell me saying that in front of the son she’s supposed to love isn’t going to hurt him. And she knows it, I mean, besides the Wen attack I’ve never seen her hit the kids (although I very much doubt she hasn’t), so a good part of the abuse must be verbal. There’s no fucking way a person who regularly uses words that way won’t realise where she’s aiming those arrows. Which means to her (to both) the kids are collateral.

But FR, the barely-out-of-adolescence disaster bi necromancer PTSDing all over the place and living in a mass grave was a better parent than any of the current adults in this thing.

Which brings me to another point, Shijie is textbook “the oldest sibling is just another parent” and I’m making myself very angry.

[this is when I start frothing at the mouth and itching to write a modern-girl(and friends)-dropped-in-CQL because someone has to be a positive adult influence in these kids’ lives and it sure as shit ain’t the ones in the actual show.]

CAN WE STOP BRINGING PEOPLE’S DEAD PARENTS INTO THE FIGHT?

*deep breath*

I am going to feed JFM & Mme Yu each other’s spleens. Look, listen, look and listen, let’s first talk about how calmly they lay out the facts of their lives, one is only loved because he’s been brought up in the shadow of his dead parents, the other knows with certainty his father dislikes him and his mother uses him as leverage in marital disputes. When have these two not exploded their emotions all over the place? Fucking never. Yet here they are, talking about this bullshit like some bout of inconvenient weather. They’re used to it!

And now let’s talk about yet again siblings-are-just-extra-parents, with an added pile of WWX’s terrible self awareness that, to the man who brought him up, his worth is due to his dead parents. Again I’m extrapolating, but with the amount of times Mme Yu brings up his parents in such a negative light I refuse to believe JFM hasn’t made all the “you’re so much like your parents” comments to him every time WWX does something right. I mean, telling an orphan about their parents if they ask is a good thing, but WWX seems starved for stories about his them, which leads me to believe JFM refuses to talk about the topic except to make those little comments. What a fucking stellar way to give someone all the trauma if you ask me. May also explain a lot of WWX’s self worth issues if the biggest praise he’s ever heard is that he resembles dead people, yes, people who were loved, but they’re dead, and it doesn’t look like any adult has bothered to go and differentiate WWX from ZSSR&WCZ.

I’m just really mad, despite all the silly anecdotes I put in here my parents are fucking great at parenting, so I know what good parents should look like, and this ain’t it.

Ok, so I made myself angry and I don’t know if I should move onto the next episode now or wait till tomorrow but thanks for reading!

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #mdzs live action #foxglove watches cql #foxglove watches the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng trio #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng bros #Foxglove is hella mad #good parenting? Less likely than you think

[sssaaavvveeedddd]

—— · ❝「 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 . 」

who: nicole hampton & andre kendricks

where: las vegas, nv

when: 8/13/2020

TRIGGERS TAGGED BELOW

TAGGED: @andrekendricks

NICOLE

the relief she'd felt just moments ago had, tangled in the embrace of zeke, vanished as nicole wandered down the hall dodging any and all eye contact from the venue staff or handful of friends that actually came to support and stay for the wedding. her heart heavy as she stumbled across the groom's hall. with a clenched jaw she stared at it for a brief period, hands shaking, heart plummeting into her stomach. facing the reality of what she was really about to walk into that very room and do. as guilty as she felt, the idea not being in love with andre the way she was in love with dre didn't seem right. she couldn't promise someone forever knowing that he'd never be the only on in her heart, knowing that every time she turned around she was either wishing, missing, or entangled with the other man who'd just left her bridal hall. taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door once, opening it and letting herself in then closing it and locking it right behind her. the second she saw him tux in all her lip quivered, the tears she'd been fighting during her talk with zeke once again threatening to fall as she stood pressed against the door with no idea how she was going to say what she needed to say, "dre... i need to tell you something..."

ANDRE

sipping on vodka just to calm himself down, dre was trying to keep his cool as he got ready. some of his rap fam flew in and he had face timed his kids, letting them know what was up and what he was doing today. they didn't really understand, but the last thing he wanted in life was anyone to doubt him as a father. with a photo of nipsey around his chest and on a diamond piece, he kept him with him cause that was his best man. that was his brother by another mother who he wanted him by his side for this day. after fixing up his suit and tie combo, he started to make sure his hair was waved and lips were soft. there was this weird feeling in his stomach after his conversation with bird, how this was what she wanted; to marry him. to be his wife and to be his forever. he told her she would always be a big part of his life and heart, but she broke him too much all while nikki cared to pick up those pieces of him to put it back together. and to him, that's what love is. scratching over his scruff, he told his boys to head out as he was entering. "whatchu doing, nicole? i'm not-i'm not supposed to see you." bringing a hand up to cover his eyes, he read about weddings thanks to google and that was some curse or some shit. "if there's not enough of somethin, lemme tell P, he'll handle it." the man said, looking like a dumbass with his hands covering his face like a kid during hide and go seek and his stomach in knots all over again. her voice was concerning him and his vows were written right there on the table, so he wanted to go and hide them but didn't know how to move. "why...why you sad?" he asked, not even having to look at her to know something was off, just feeling her energy and feeling the shift of all the entire day go crazy. but whatever it was, they'd tackle it, right?

NICOLE

even if it pained her, watching dre quickly cover his eyes brought a slight smile to her fallen features as she approached him slowly. "dre, listen to me... please and looking at me wouldn't be a bad start either..." she begged, grabbing the hand he'd used to cover his eyes and holding it in her own. "i want you to know that i love you. i do. i think you're probably one of the greatest men i've ever known. so i can't stand here and lie to you." the blonde paused to take a long breath, praying he'd be able to ignore the fact she was standing there trembling because in all her life she'd never pictured herself in this situation or doing anything like this. "if i told you that i was completely and totally over zeke, that i could marry you with a clear mind and heart... i would be lying to you. you deserve so much better after everything you've been through, all the heartbreak, all the struggle, and i never wanted to add to that. but i can't meet you at the alter and swear myself to you, my future, my life, when i don't have all of myself to give to you... and it breaks my heart to know that, because when i fell for you i did fell with the purest of intentions but i'm in love with someone who never gave me my whole heart back... and i don't want to give you bits and pieces, dre... you deserve so much more than that."

ANDRE

andre felt her hand coming up to take his and he wasn't sure what to make of this. his eyes were squinted as he showed no expression besides confusion at first. "whatchu mean lie to me? bout what?" dre tilted his head and brought his arms back, loosening his tie because this shit just wasn't making sense. here she was, in a wedding dress, moments away from walking down the aisle to say 'i do' but her face showed that might not be happening way before her words did. he had to laugh, he did because it was easier than crying. men like him don't cry. ever. his hand took hold of his chain with nip's photo on it and he gave it a good squeeze, praying for him to give him the restraint needed from not destroying this fucking room and that king kids face. "you here to tell me you still love your ex, that's what you're here to do. that when he asked you to not marry me, you caved and said you wouldn't huh?" shaking his head and swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a seat and grabbed a bottle of dark liquor to chug down angrily. "how the fuck could you say you love me this entire time when your heart belonged to someone else? how the fuck could you say yes to marrying me when you knew you couldn't give yourself to me at the end of the day? i called my kids, i called my sisters. i told bird that you loved me for me, that you wouldn't pull this shit, that you wouldn't hurt me like she did here you are proving her right. bird said you weren't half the woman she was and i defended you. i told her you really wanted to be with me and only me and here you fucking are, in a wedding dress, on what was supposed to be our wedding day, saying you wanna be with some piece of shit who picked another woman to marry over you without even a second damn thought." shaking his head at her, he let his tongue rest against his top lip. "so you lied. this entire time. you wasn't ever in love with me, i was just someone you used to get under his skin while he's here on vacay with someone else."

NICOLE

the act of watching andre put together piece by piece what she was here to say without giving her an opportunity to explain herself was more excruciating then words could even express. turning her face away and closing her eyes as she listened to every ounce of legitimate and very valid anger that spit venom in her direction, flinching at the harshness of his tone. "i do love you, dre... i do, i swear i never meant to hurt you. when i fell for you, i did it selfishly because even with how bad i wanted to be over zeke, i wasn't. i thought he and i were through, and i thought over time i'd be able to move on but then we came out here, and everything with us moved so fast that i... if i married you right know, in 10 years from now you figured out that the day that we got married, the day i swore my loyalty to you that i wasn't a thousand percent sure and i was still in love with someone else you'd hate me. i gave you everything i could give you, but the idea of you giving me all of you when i could only give you all that i had left, give you everything zeke didn't take isn't fair to you! i wanted this... dre, i wanted you... but i didn't know how he felt and knowing how he feels and how i feel, i-i can't do that to you." she tried to gather herself, to keep herself together and break down but it was proving harder to do than she expected. “i may not be half the woman bird is, she might’ve been right, but i’m here to own up to it, i’m here to tell you how i felt, explain to you even as bad as i wanted to be absolutely and completely in love with you i can’t be when i gave my whole heart away a long time ago and never got it back… even if i do love you. you didn’t deserve this, and no amount of apologies are going to make you hate me less than what you do right now… and i can live with that, but i couldn’t live with myself if we got married and it started out on the basis of lies.”

ANDRE

brushing his hand over his scruff, all he could do was shake his head. his entire body fell with how he was sitting & he was hunched over. "you used me, to try n get over that loser." dre spoke out, the words hurting as he processed it all. his heart was so heavy & his lips were twisting in anger & pain. "you never told me we was moving too fast. we had our kids together. i had you meet jami & i had lil z on lock for life. i thought you really wanted to be with me. i thought i was enough & you was...this entire god damn time you was still thinking bout him." bringing his finger tips to tap against his temple, he couldn't fucking believe this shit. "he hates to see you happy. that's what it fuckin' is & you just falling right for it all over again." bitterness was evident in his voice as he felt his leg shaking, voice harsh as he just kept chugging the dark liquor and thought about everything in life that he's lost. "you don't love me. don't try to feed me that bull shit. if you don't even have your heart back, you sure as hell ain't loving me with it." taking in a deep breath with the tilt of the bottle, he was trying to numb the pain with all the liquor but knew he'd need something more soon. "you shoulda said no. you shoulda told me this shit when i proposed cuz i was ready. i explained to bird why marrying you was the right choice, how you would never do this fucked up shit to me after knowing bout everything i've been through. every single thing i lost. yet you is right here in front of me, tellin me you love me, but love him more? i ain't with that shit. i gave you my all, for the first time since bird, i allowed myself to fall for someone entirely. trusted you, believed you when you said certain shit & now you got me looking like boo-boo the fool cuz of a dude who ain't ever picked you or put you first." he was hurt and in so much pain, he stood up and slid off the jacket just to throw it then turned to look into her eyes "you used me n it worked for you two."

NICOLE

knowing too well she was in for a verbal lashing for a lifetime, nicole stood there before andre every beat of his tongue cutting a distinctive piece of her virtue. every word he’d tossed at her knocking the pedestal he’d built up for her. he wasn’t wrong though, zeke had been on her mind the entirety of their relationship, from the first time they’d hooked up in one of the dressing rooms after her show until today, hell even more so after realizing she was going to marry someone else, zeke’s face popping into her mind the second she accepted his proposal should’ve been when she walked away. it selfish, but she never thought her ex felt the same way, she thought it was something she needed to move on from, she truly believed that zeke was a scar she’d always have and that she needed to learn to live and love with the scraps he’d left to her to survive. that didn’t mean she didn’t love him, she didn’t charish the way he nourished her soul, pieced her back together, but she couldn’t marry him when her whole heart wasn’t his. once he’d finished, she slowly slipped the diamond ring from her fourth finger, cautiously stepping forward while her green eyes filled with tears, “andre… i never, ever wanted to hurt you. i never wanted to add to the pain you’ve been through. i do love you, and you might not see it now… hell, you might never believe me but i mean it and i can sit here and tell you how sorry i am until we’re both blue in the face because i am… i’m so sorry. i wanted you, i wanted this to work out… and i truly thought he and i were done, i didn’t expect him to show up, to tell me he loved me… it made everything i was trying to burry impossible. it made me realize, marrying you… would’ve been me lying to you. you should have this,” she said, grabbing his free hand and placing her engagement ring into it. “i’ll go out there and tell everybody that there isn’t gonna be a wedding, but i… i’m so sorry, dre. i hope one day you’ll be able to know and understand how fucking sorry i am, how hurting you kills me.”

ANDRE

andre gave his all to nicole. all of it just to be returned. to given back to him and shown it wasn't enough. he was never enough. for anything. he loved her with everything that he had to give. dre cared about every aspect of her broken heart and tried to piece it back together, but like she stated, he never really had it as it was. it was never even there in the first place, it still belonged to her ex. bird begged for him to not be with nicole, to give him the world, to fix things and he turned her down because he wasn't that guy. when he was invested, he stood his ground and gave it all. never did he ever think this was going to be the outcome. of course he had doubts and fears, none of which he'd ever admit to, but this was his worst nightmare. "don't ever, and i mean ever, try to tell me you love me again." andre said with pain radiating through his eyes and his blood boiling.  "if you love somebody the way you claimed to have loved me, you woulda realized zeke only pulled this shit because he can't bare to see you happy. it took until your wedding day for him to come say somethin' to you. this entire trip, bird has been showing and trying to prove to me that she still loves me. that she wants this, a marriage and love, with me. but do you see her here today? do you see her trying to force herself into the wedding and change everything?" as soon as she placed the ring in his finger, he bounced it up and down a bit, closed his fist before taking a long swig of the alcohol. once the bottle was finished, he put the ring inside of it and moved to throw both out. "i dun care what the hell you tell anybody out there. you don't do this to people you say you love. but im glad i found out now that you still obsessed with zeke now then in a few weeks. it all adds up now. from seeing you naked to you flexing me, it was all for clout. you took a man who didn't put you second to try to get someone else to put you first." andre said, reaching into his pocket for his weed & his pills. popping 2, he grabbed another bottle of champagne that was supposed to be for after the wedding and popped out the cork. grabbing his vows he wrote out,  he took them and used the bubbly to soak over all of them, making the ink run and the paper turn into a wet, shredded mess. "go on, then. go be with that lil boy who is here on vacation with his ex wife. the one he married when he coulda been with you instead. im sure he's hella excited for these next two weeks he'll be all about you til it's on to the next chick that catches his eye." bringing another bottle to his lips, he moved to get undressed and fixed himself into another pair of clothes, not giving a damn what she did. he didn't even mention a damn thing about how beautiful she looked in her dress cause at the end of the day, it wasn't even for him. it was all to make zeke jealous. this entire thing was and he fell right into their ploy. grabbing hold of some of the glass wear, he threw it at the wall, pissed as fuck at the universe and mostly her for using him like this. but maybe here and zeke deserved one another if this is the whole premises of their relationship, the cat and mouse game is how they fall for one another again and use people like they're nothing to find a spark again.

#tw: mentions of drugs #tw: alcohol

[ameliascorsones-blog]

love does.

a/n: A one shot about what actually should’ve happened last night. it’s like we’re in an alternate universe or all having the same coma nightmare. i’m sorry we were dealt this card but we can hope it all works out in the end. I might make this a series of one shots, who knows but for right now here this is. let me know what you think!  also, special dedications to @sheperdessamelia, happy late birthday, girl. 

------------------

How long could she toss and turn before it was morning? How long could she lay there with a sour stomach before she threw up the contents of whatever Avery had cooked? Regret, regret, regret. She’d made a big mistake, she was already auntie Amelia, the phrase made her stomach turn, harder than it had been since she’d come upstairs, just the thought of it coming from Leo’s mouth made it worse. Owen hadn’t been wrong either, harsh maybe but not wrong. She was scared, terrified even,  of letting him in. Really loving he and Leo, the last two men she’d loved like that had died, Christopher and Ryan. She’d never loved anyone else like that, never let herself in fear that the same thing would happen, in fear that she’d be doing a disservice to them both. Now though? As she laid there with the empty feeling in her stomach? She knew she needed to fix it and she knew exactly how.

Picking up her phone, the neurosurgeon hovered over a number before taking a deep breath and pressing down. There wasn’t any going back now and as it rang she couldn’t help but feel her anxiety dissipate. God, she just hoped it wasn’t too late.

“Blanca Rodriguez, may I ask who’s calling?”

“Blanca, hi. This is Amelia Shepherd, I was in with Owen Hunt earlier today.. the case to adopt Leo Dickinson? I have a really huge favour to ask you.. I know that the office may be closing for the night but is there anyway that you can redo the paperwork to make room for the adoptive mother and fax it to me?”

A sigh followed and the lawyer shook her head before  even though Amelia couldn’t see.

“Doctor Shepherd..  I have a ton of paperwork to do tonight before I even go home, Owen didn’t end up giving me the schedule and you two are a complicated case..I would need you to make another appointment to sort —“

“No, no, no. It isn’t complicated! It won’t be, I promise. I just need to sign my name. We — won’t have a schedule. I’m going to fix this. Please.”

“Leo needs stability—“ Of course the lawyer was going to rant but before she could, she realized how desperate the other woman sounded, she had kids of her own, that was love. “Doctor Shepherd? Do you love love him? Leo, I mean?”

“Yes. God.. with my entire heart.” She hadn’t said it out loud before. Not really at least, but when the Dickinsons had brought him back, she’d realized and after today? When all she could think about was his curly hair and baby smell? She knew for sure. “I love him so much, but I got scared.. I got so scared and that’s on me. I’ve got things I need to work through and I will. But, please do this.”

Already the lawyer was sitting at her computer, reopening the document and publishing another line. She couldn’t help herself, sure the couple seemed like they had issues but she believed in them. “Do not make me regret this, Amelia. Now, give me the number that I can fax this to.”

The words themselves caused a smile to raise on her features, her first since that afternoon. Quickly she muttered off the fax number and glanced down at her pyjama pants and socks that she had yet to kick off her feet as she waited for the confirmation. “The court date will need to be pushed about a week but family court is different, a lot easier to work around, we’ll get you in as soon as possible.”A nod was the only thing to follow before the lawyer clicked her tongue, drawing Amelia out of her thoughts. The last thing she was doing was regretting this but to say she was nervous was a big step.

“It should be on the way,” the woman spoke finally. Soon she would be done with them, leaving their family on the right path, or so she hoped. The shuffling on the other end of the line was enough to tell her that Amelia was getting up, shuffling around for a sweater or something before she heard a nervous laugh from the other woman, as if she couldn’t believe she was doing this. “Amelia, why don’t you just breath for a minute, you’re doing a good thing, the right thing. If you weren’t meant to be his mother you wouldn’t have called me tonight. I digitally added the Dickinson's signatures again, and everything should be ready to go. Shoot me a text after and let me know if I have to submit the custody schedule with all of the paper work.”

“Thank you,” She’d been out of her room and in Meredith’s office for a minute now already. The crisp papers resting in her hand as she stared down at the two empty spots. Childs adoptive mother, Childs adoptive father. They could do this, right? Owen had wanted to be in this with her earlier that day, she just hoped she hadn’t pushed him away.

“Thank me with a large tip,” the lawyer teased before she let out a sigh of her own. “Good luck, Amelia. I hope this works out for you three.”

With that the line went dead, and Amelia knew she had to get a move on. It was only seven at best, and she knew that maybe she should call Owen, not spook him in the middle of Leo’s bedtime routine but she was scared he would say no, or worse wouldn’t answer. She had to surprise him, make the grand and final gesture this time. Paperwork stapled and in her hand with her phone as well, Amelia hurried from the room, only pausing when she saw Jackson half way down the stairs.

“Where’re you going in your PJ’s?”

A breath and she bit her lip before rolling her shoulders back. She could do this. “To save my family, I think. I hope.. so excuse me.”

The last thing she had time for was Avery’s questioning, it wasn’t like she didn’t like him or anything, she just wasn’t in the mood and she didn’t need Maggie to try and talk her out of this like she had when it came to so many other things with Owen. So, she slipped passed the other house guest and down the rest of the stairs. Damn it, half her shoes were at Owens, this so wasn’t going well already. But then she saw them, the moccasins Owen had grabbed her for Christmas because her feet were always so cold, no matter the temperature of the house. Maybe they weren’t the safest to drive in, but she slipped them on her feet anyway, grabbed her wallet and keys and headed out just as Maggie was coming down the stairs.

—————

Had she been speeding on the drive to Owens? Maybe, it seemed like she got there faster than usual because before she knew it, she was shifting on her key ring for the key to the front door, until it swung open to greet her.

“Amelia?”

“What?” Eyes moved up to meet his and for a moment she stood dumbfounded. What the hell, had he heard her or something? “Owen.. I need to talk to you. It’s really important.”

He didn’t even hesitate to step back from the door and let her in, maybe from the shock of seeing her and all but as she stepped inside, she realized she didn’t even plan out what she wanted to say. So as she stepped over the threshold, clad in PJ’s she fidgeted with her keys, gripping the papers hard with her hand as she closed her eyes.

“You were right. Well, kind of right. Mostly a jackass, but right.” So not the best choice of words to start off, not romantic, or cute or anything like that. “I’m scared. Scared to let you love me, and to love you and Leo because even though I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that I lost Christopher, and.. Ryan that doesn’t mean that I’m not scared that you’ll die or that Leo will disappear. Or that one day you’ll just get sick of me and take him and never come back. I’m scared, I’m so fucking scared. Scared that when Teddy has the baby, you’ll see her differently, no matter how many times you choose me. So, I ran from you the night of the party, and I ran today because I don’t know if it’ll really work out for us —”

“Amelia.. I’m sorry I didn’t —- ”

“Owen! Shut up, I’m not done!”

Suddenly her eyes opened, watery blues meeting his and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “I — I’m not incapable of love or being loved. I love too much, and that’s what causes me to run because I always love and then I lose. But, I think I’m done running because I was lying in my bed at Meredith’s and I felt so sick.. like I ripped my whole heart from my chest somehow because I knew I made a mistake. I loved Leo from the second I saw him, just like you did. I can’t be his auntie, it makes me want to throw up all over the floor just thinking about it. I don’t want to take him when you’re too busy and then give him back, I don’t want to miss his first steps or hear him call someone else mama..” Somehow she hadn’t noticed before now but her cheeks were wet with tears, the emotions of the day finally running free. A little hiccup in the back of her throat and she shook her head.

“I want it, Owen. All of it.. I want to miss out on surgeries because we have parent teacher conferences and.. I want to take him to playdates and soccer and yell at him for being a dumbass teenager — ” But before she could get more out, she felt his arms wrap tightly around her, drawing her closer to the smell of pine and aftershave. “I want to.. be in love.. with you.. I am.”

“Shh,” fingers in her hair, running through to calm her nerves. This was as close as they’d been to each other in weeks, the most they’d really even touched. “We’ll talk about it later, we need to talk, Amelia but we need to worry about Leo first. How we’ll get new paperwork and everything, okay?”

Stepping back from his embrace, she held out the papers still trying to catch her breath and stop the flow of tears of her emotions. “I got it already.. it’s uh, got all the information on it, their signatures, Brittney’s, Carols, Johns, Blanca’s.. It just needs ours..”

For the first time in a few weeks, he smiled at her. A real true smile, and took her free hand in his to lead her to the kitchen. There she saw Leo, antsy as ever but snacking quietly on his cheerios and she wanted to cry again. They were truly doing this, really. Watching Owen with tired eyes as he discarded other paperwork, she sat at the table, eyes drifting back to the baby in his high chair until she felt documents slip from her hand, and a pen placed in her palm instead.

“Sign first,” an encouraging smile in her direction and without even a thought or shaky hand the surgeon signed her name before she was passed Leo, and she cradled him tightly to her chest. The signing was nothing, not as scary as she thought because as she held her soon to be son? She knew this was all she wanted.

“I should text Blanca, tell her.”

Shaking his head, Owen smiled. “I’ll do it. Just hold Leo for now. Do you want to tell her about custody?” He really wanted to make sure that she was all in this time. They couldn’t mess this up again, not just for Leo but for them too.

“No custody, just us. I want to be here with my family.”

For once in her life she was certain. Sure, they had a lot of trials to go through, and she knew that therapy was probably a must, together and separate, even though she hated the thought but she knew deep down that they could do this.

Two weeks later.

Amelia hadn’t gone back on her word, and just as fast as she was back at Meredith’s she was back out. Her and Owen had agreed to therapy to talk it all out, a ptsd specialist for him, and regular single therapy for her. Things were light, and airy and even if trouble came upon them they both knew they had their family.

Just as Blanca had promised, they were in court as soon as possible and after a hearing, just like they’d hoped custody was granted. It wasn’t the easiest process but they were officially Leo’s parents. He was officially Leo Shepherd-Hunt, and they couldn’t have been more ecstatic. Though things weren’t perfect, and they might never be, they were a family for the rest of forever because DNA doesn’t make a family, love does and that was everything they needed and had.

#lovedoes; #omeliafics #omelia #amelia shepherd #owen hunt #leo dickinson #leo hunt